#which he believes he says often to Emil

[sinisteryanderescribe]

*Sees post* *Idea pop out*

Hello I was thinking about the Norton x Nurse Reader and immediately thought of his B tier skin Jarhead.

And a fan made game which i recall is called white tombstone, basically where the skins in the same essence as Jarhead (Norton's skin) plus some additional characters.

I think Norton's and Nurse Reader have like the some similarities for Ada and Emil's relationship or connection.

I like to see what to think about this concept.

Ayyooooo why didn’t I think about this!

Na cause if you really think about it , it would be something like Ada and emil’s situation but it still wouldn’t be that close as Norton would be more independent and stubborn.

The Shadowed Mind: A Paranoia's Grip

Characters: Norton Campbell

Genre: fluff, SFW

Female Reader

Warnings: mentions of violence, slightly dark fic, mental health issues, mentions of paranoia, mentions of slight possessive actions, slight manipulation, aggressive behaviour

…………………………………………………………………………….

…………………………………………………………………………….

As usual you would meet him when the doctor placed you in charge of him, seeing how a variety of nurses had trouble looking after him.

“He was quite a challenge to deal with”

As other nurses would say. You’d hear stories of his actions with doctors and nurses, with how he’d have episodes of violent behaviour, breaking any object that’s close to him or refusing to take any medication, not trusting what they would do to him.

Well it wouldn’t be surprising though…he DOES suffer from paranoia.

Though the doctors do warn you not to let your guard down. Norton is smarter than you’d think. Thus explaining how others refused to be in charge of him and the last option was you.

So as we all know:

Norton Campbell, a patient with severe paranoia, is known for his persistent belief that he is in constant danger. This has led him to always wear a cook pot as a makeshift helmet, which he believes protects him from harm. He exhibits a tendency to deliberately create confusion and mistrust in others, as a defense mechanism against his perceived threats. He is wary of the medical staff, often viewing them as potential threats or manipulators.

Norton's interactions with doctors and nurses are characterized by skepticism and manipulation. He tends to treat medical professionals with suspicion, often attempting to undermine their authority and sow doubt in their actions. He may use his intelligence and persuasive skills to challenge their decisions and create a sense of unease among the staff, making it difficult for them to gain his trust.

So:

When you’d be assigned to care for Norton, he initially responds with hostility and attempts to manipulate you, testing your patience and resolve. He displays a cold and distant demeanor, making it clear that he does not trust easily. His interactions with you are marked by a constant wariness, as he tries to gauge your intentions and capabilities. However, over time, as you demonstrate genuine care and understanding, Norton's defenses slowly begin to crumble. He starts to open up, albeit cautiously, showing glimpses of vulnerability and allowing you to see beyond his protective facade.

Thus he begins to warm up to you:

As your actions continues to provide compassionate care and unwavering support, Norton's demeanor softens, and he begins to show signs of trust and attachment. He still struggles with moments of mistrust and emotional volatility, but he also starts seeking comfort and solace in the your presence. Your interactions become more genuine, and Norton finds himself relying on the you for emotional support and stability, despite his lingering fears and insecurities.

You’d find him staring at you whenever he’d be in deep thought, or occasionally fiddle with the hem of your dress. Surprisingly Norton’s actually quite touch starved and he may be a little…possessive and show signs of slight jealousy if you’d interact with any other male patients or doctors.

So he might grab a little too hard on your waist for the whole day to keep you from going anywhere…

While there is a gradual shift towards warmth and trust in your relationship, the journey is fraught with emotional turmoil and challenges, reflecting the complex nature of Norton's mental state and your unwavering dedication to his well-being.

#idv #idv chat #anonymous asks #anonymous #idv x reader #norton campbell headcanon #Norton x reader #Norton Campbell #Sia answers #identity v x fem reader #Identity v x reader #norton x fem reader #Norton Campbell fluff

[sequinsmile-x]

This is Our Place, We Make the Rules

A collection of mini-fics and one-shots of Hotchniss being domestic idiots in love.

Chapter 4 - Moving In

-x-

Hi friends!!

I am back from being away for a few days. Here is a little something I've pulled together for you. I drove for 8 hours today and my brain is very tired so I'm sorry it's short <3

Just a reminder that this series is non-sequential :)

I hope you enjoy this cute fluff on this Thursday evening!

-x-

Words: 1.1k

Warnings: None!

Read over on A03, or below the cut

“What if he doesn’t want to?”

Aaron turns to look at his girlfriend sitting next to him on the couch. A smile flicks across his face as he watches her lift her hand to her mouth, her teeth already poised to tear at her cuticles. He catches her hand halfway and links it through his, kissing her knuckles before their joint hands fall to his lap. 

“Sweetheart, it will be fine.”  

There were so many things Aaron loved about Emily. 

She was kind. Empathetic in a way he hadn’t known had existed before he knew her, the way she cared for the people she loved, as well as complete strangers, so strong he’d seen it be a detriment at times. 

She loved him so fiercely, with so much of herself, he often wondered how he’d ever lived without it. They’d been together for 12 months, their friendship after she returned from Paris turning into something he’s sure had always been there. Feelings that had lingered just under the surface, thrumming under their skin when the other was nearby, until they found the right time. 

Something they had both thought more than once had completely passed them by. 

The thing Aaron loved the most about her, the thing that made him fall even more in love with her as time went on, was how much she loved his son. 

Jack’s well-being had been her priority when they first got together. She’d pulled back from a kiss, a slightly dazed look in her eyes as she asked him about his son, about how he’d feel if they were together.

As if Jack hadn’t loved her longer than Aaron had himself. As if he didn’t seek her out every time he was sick or sad long before she’d become Aaron’s girlfriend, always begging his father to call her so she could come over and give him one of her ‘magic’ hugs. 

“You can’t just say that, honey,” she says, biting her lower lip as she shakes her head, “This is a big deal. It would mean him moving from his home.” 

They had recently started to discuss living together officially. For all intents and purposes, they’d actually been living together for as long as they’d been together. Aaron couldn’t remember the last time they’d spent a night apart. His closet was, more than, half full of her clothes, and her things, her favourite books and a photo of her, JJ and Penelope, had made its way over to the apartment he’d once only shared with his son. 

He knew, that if he valued his life, it was best not to mention that. Well aware that it was best to let her take this at her own pace, which is why he had simply agreed when she first mentioned the idea of them moving in together a couple of weeks ago. They’d decided they wanted to find somewhere new - a house, a home for them and Jack, and whoever else might come along in the future, to grow together. To finally have the happy ending, the soft epilogue, they all deserved. 

He just wished she’d believe that Jack wanted that too, that she’d relax and allow herself to enjoy the thought of their future as much as he was. 

He hears the familiar thunder of his son’s footsteps down the hallway and he feels Emily grip his hand even tighter. He leans in and kisses her temple, repeating his previous words against her skin.

“It will be fine,” he pulls away and looks over his shoulder at his son, “Jack, buddy, can we talk to you for a minute?” 

Jack nods and runs over, landing on the couch next to them, “Can we get pizza?”

Aaron chuckles and nods, “Yeah, we can get it later, but we need to talk to you first.” 

Jack’s eyes go slightly wide, “Am I in trouble?”

Emily smiles and shakes her head, and Aaron feels her hold his hand impossibly tighter, “No, sweetie. Of course, you aren’t,” she assures him. 

Aaron watches as Jack physically relaxes, Emily’s effect on him unmatched, and it warms him from the inside out, “You know Emily has been part of our family for a while now?” He asks, and Jack nods enthusiastically. Aaron feels Emily press her face into his shoulder, her shy smile something he can feel through his shirt, “Well we’ve been thinking it’s time for us to find somewhere bigger for us to live, and we wanted to know what you think.” 

Jack furrows his brows a little, “Like a house?” 

“Yeah, exactly like a house,” Emily says, smiling at him, “What do you think?”

Jack is silent for a moment as he contemplates it, “Will there be a backyard?” 

Emily and Aaron look at each other for a second and exchange a small smile before they look back at the little boy in front of them, “Yeah, of course.” 

“And I can have a swing set? One of those ones with a slide on it?” 

Aaron hears Emily chuckle next to him, and he can feel the tension seeping out of her. “Yeah, sweetie. You can have a swing set.” 

Jack shrugs nonchalantly as if it were truly that simple, “Okay. I’d like a house.” 

He can’t help but smile as Emily opens her arms up and Jack immediately gets closer, folding himself up into her embrace. Aaron pulls them in and wraps his arms around both of them, dropping a kiss to both of their heads as he relaxes into it, his future as clear as it had ever been. The three of them and the kids he and Emily had spoken about, the dream they hadn’t dared to have even a couple of years ago one step closer to being a reality. 

“You’re sure you’re okay with me living with you and Daddy all the time?” Emily asks, pulling back just enough to look at Jack, her fingers running through his messy hair. 

Jack frowns and tilts his head at her, his brows furrowing together again, confusion written all over his face as he looks back and forth between her and his father. 

“I thought you already did live with us.”

-x-

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#aaron hotchner #emily prentiss #aaron hotchner fanfiction #emily prentiss fanfiction #hotchniss fan fic #hotchniss fanfic #aaron x emily #hotchniss fanfiction #hotchniss #aaron hotchner x emily prentiss

[angelique-of-the-volturi-guard]

You GUYS I had a thought and honestly I’m crying.

The mission is nearly over. It’s almost the day of the sting on Donovan Desmond, and Anya is terrified. After a nightmare, she breaks down to Loid and Yor, and accidentally reveals her power when she says something they’d only thought of about each other. And in that moment she says that she knows who they are, thereby revealing them to each other, and herself.

At first they try and play it off, but as she keeps explaining, it’s evident she’s telling the truth. Loid and Yor are stunned at the revelation, but as they hear how she often worked to help them both, and believed in them, they realize she won’t compromise them. Not only that, but she’d been shouldering the weight of everything in the mission on her own.

Loid quickly realizes two things: He doesn’t want to let go of the two of them, and that Anya could be very helpful to the cause of WISE. So he asks her permission to speak to his handler about her and Yor, and they both agree.

He tells his handler of how they’d helped him on his mission, and asks that they be allowed to work for the agency, with Anya under their protection and permanent care. And Sylvia, after speaking with the higher ups, gives permission for them to stay together. Anya officially gets to be a spy and often helps Franky with gathering intel.

The sting on Desmond goes off without a hitch, and Anya is finally allowed to be herself with her family. Loid and Yor are completely enthralled with one another after seeing the other in a fight and start really falling in love with each other. They both agree it’s not best to tell Yuri the truth, but it’s not as though they were struggling with that in the first place. Yuri himself is still opposed to Loid being a part of his family, but he can see that Yor is happy and it’s enough to appease him. Bond, perhaps, is the only one who had a happy ending all along.

With them now knowing that Anya is younger than she appears, Loid helps her to play catch up with everything she hadn’t been taught. And though her grades don’t magically turn to A’s, they go up significantly. Franky is absolutely amused by what’s happened, but is happy to continue on as a fun uncle. His interactions with Anya eventually land him a woman who thinks the way they interact is adorable, and Franky is grateful that Loid picked such a great kid.

Becky continues being Anya’s friend, and without the weight of the mission on her shoulders, Anya stops trying so hard to be Damian’s friend, which in turn starts to make him chase her. They become actual friends shortly after that, with Emile and Ewen eventually growing a bit closer to her. But not much. Henry Henderson becomes the headmaster of Eden Academy after a few years, and still keeps a close eye on Anya. He’s secretly quite proud of her.

Peace is maintained in Ostania, and the Forger family gets to stay together. And all of them get their happily ever after.

#spy x family #anya headcanons #yor headcanons #loid headcanons #loid and yor #anya and loid #loid forger #yor and anya #yor forger #anya forger #i just love them #they deserve happiness

[valeriefauxnom]

You know, the more I read about Narcissistic Personality Disorder, the more I become curious if the writers were actually using it as a guideline for Emile's character and plot involving him. Yes, yes, it's not particularly unique to create a selfish character nor one that has a comically grandiose perception of themselves, nor do are these traits comprehensive to what NPD is, but let me explain, because BOY the dude is a checklist.

As always, long post.

First, let's break out the good ole DSMV. It may not be perfect, but hey. It's what I've got to work with for Official Sources to escape pop psychology sites. Here's the diagnostic criteria for NPD:

How does Emile stack up?

1: He immediately establishes a sense of identity that he believes he is more great than a Greatwyrm.

2: Much of his actions in the main campaign are born from a desire to live out his dreams of power, fame, and recognition.

3: *Gestures vaguely at 98.4% of what Emile says in Dragalia lost* He often refers to others with derogatory names, especially those that reinforce the status differences between them. Honestly, his vocabulary regarding this is rather impressive. Ingrate, peasant, dreck, peon, clod...

4: Here's where I might start to suspect the writers were doing more than just writing an egotistical character. NPD is defined in part by the excessive need for admiration and reinforcement (more on that later). Emile occasionally voices sentiments like above. See also this quote in his Gala story, in which, despite being in desperate need for money, ultimately personally valued the praise he got from the customer more. He's always been a character desperate for positive response.

5: A bit hard to distinguish from some of the standard entitlement royalty does get, but...yeeaaah. Emile is very much entitled in a way that Leonidas, who also expects absolute obedience of subordinates to his orders, isn't. He seems to believe that everyone automatically, no matter who they are, will immediately acquiesce to his will without question, without having any basis for their subservience. Take how he expects, -despite knowing that nobody recognizes him as Emperor at the moment, -a street artist to give up tools of his trade simply because he demands it.

6: Again, quite a large chunk of his motives in the main campaign is exploitive behavior of others. He lies to make Mercury believe her home is in danger and that he can stop it, then establishes he views a pactbound dragon as a slave to his will. Chelle agrees to lend him her androids, and he immediately absconds with the remote she 'accidentally' left lying out to serve his own needs.

Even smaller things in chapter 4, like his demand for Euden to escort him to the summit, is taking advantage of Euden's sense of justice and fairness to ensure he can undergo Jupiter's trial (which he thinks he will win). Take his scheme to foster love for him once he yoinks the throne while everyone else is gone is manipulative. He creates a 'bandit problem' and then sets up scenarios to swoop in to save the day. People see through this one, but it's still manipulative.

7: *Gestures vaguely at Emile again* Emile is...lacking in empathy or consideration for others' lives. I feel like this is pretty self-explanatory.

8: We can see this even in the comics. His first appearence in them checks off several of the traits we've already discussed and adds in 'assumes others are jealous of him' to the book. But even sticking to 'pure' canon, Emile is long, long established that jealousy of his elder siblings in particular is a driving factor regarding his behavior. There's many examples for this, but I'll keep it short since I already used an excuse to drag out the comic.

9: *Gestures vaguely at Emile yet again* Honestly I'm not even going to add any pictures for this point. I think when even your NPC unit description claims you as 'haughty' it's an established character trait.

That's NINE out of nine traits, when FIVE is the requirement for a potential diagnosis. Key word being potential, because we place more requirements on a diagnosis than just matching some features.

But I'd like to go a bit deeper into it. It's one thing to constantly drag out all the moments of Emile being Emile, but digging into the whys of it all also is compelling to me and this argument.

Here's another small exert of the DSMV:

Though hinted at in chapter 4, we gradually came to know more and more about the deeper side and reasons behind Emile's behavior. The long and short of it was: he's jealous. He knows he's inferior, deep, deep down. And we've one connecting factor for what flipped the switch to the degree of behavior he spirals into in canon: Euden. Emile spells it out early himself.

From what we know of their relationship before canon, Euden seemed to be the adoring sibling eager to learn whatever Emile deigned to teach him and was generally subservient as he was to all his siblings. He, unintentionally, fed Emile's ego at being able to instruct an inferior, feeding that need for affirmation. Thus, when canon rolls around, Emile is gravely wounded (emotionally), by Euden's betrayal of 'stepping outside his place'. He's the pillar that's allowed Emile to raise himself so high, and now that he's moved, Emile falls.

In that same conversation, Emile explicitly cites the 'degradation' Euden is putting him through, and thus enters another long-lasting characteristic of NPD. Enter his rage.

Among all his other motivations for appreciation, Emile cultivated quite a potent desire to harm Euden in particular. Several times he expresses a desire or tries to kill him with his 'own two hands', but I think the Persona crossover event is a goldmine for demonstrating the extent of how enamored he is with thoughts of violence regarding Euden in particular after his 'offense'.

He doesn't just want to kill Euden. He wants to short drop hang him (ie, the non-instantaneous kind that leaves you suffocating, though who knows if they even know the 'break the neck instantly' variety either, to be fair). He wants to break him mentally and quite possibly physically, judging by how quick he is to call in Shadows to beat him. Somehow, I'd speculate just by the sheer pleasure he takes specifically in seeing Euden in despair and misery (he should take notes from Ciella) it'd be a quick jump to actual torture if Euden hadn't immediately been busted out as planned.

Why? Again: though his elder siblings left Emile feeling unappreciated and inferior, Euden is the one to have raised him up before dropping him. It's personal. Therein is his fragile self-esteem, so dependent on the one he viewed as inferior.

All this culminates to a surprisingly replete picture of what NPD actually looks like. It's not just base selfishness or some excess ego, but a incredibly strong and persistent pattern of this kind of behavior, all in fulfillment of a need to acquire adoration. It's the fury that can follow the broken self esteem when that adoration isn't given. It's the vengeful fantasies of harming those who wronged him, the lower empathy for others occasionally paving the way for acts of violence.

Somehow, Emile is still compelling (to myself included), despite him being much of what people loathe in the real world. He's bombastic and dynamic in a way that his more emotionally-composed siblings aren't, and that lends him well to comedy in its own way. It doesn't hurt that he's like. Probably the 2nd most common of the royal fam to pop up, after Euden. He's the Saturday morning cartoon villain who is the lowest on the totem pole of threats and thus safe to have a laugh at until he rolls 20 and starts causing very real danger.

That aside, I threw together this for a more light-hearted thing regarding Emile:

Edit: I remembered Zardin. I think it's kinda funny how Emile is a "better", more complete representation of a narcissist is and does than the supposed actual narcissist himself. I think it's a case of Emile being the 'technical' one while Zardin is a 'literary' one. Aside from being obsessed with his looks just as OG Narcissus was, he's... not really displaying many traits that I can recall from him. Still interesting.

#dragalia lost #dragalia #character analysis #dragalia analysis #Forcibly bringing up the fact again that Aurelius and Audric both gave Magnus the authority to kill Emile. I think they knew #There was a Problem but not necessarily the extent to which Emile could go. Either way: did all the siblings have assassin-guards #That were ready to kill them if they grew too too evil? I suppose it's a good way to cull the worst eggs but. Still. #Now to get back to Secret Starfall writing! Got about 5k now. I do hope my recipient enjoys the gift though! #Sorry if any other fics are a bit delayed with that in mind. Other Things To Write(tm) call! #Scaling included as with it being likely right there at the climax I need to try and nail the landing!

[girlactionfigure]

He was born on June 10, 1928 in Brooklyn, New York. His parents were Polish Jewish immigrants, and he would describe his childhood as a "terrible situation". Not only did he experience many illnesses, which caused him to be bedridden many times, but he also remembered many bad things that happened during his childhood, such as the Depression, World War II, the Holocaust, and the kidnapping of the Lindbergh baby.

One of his worst memories, however, was his bar mitzvah. That's when his father discovered that much of his extended family had died in concentration camps. The young boy thought he had "done something very bad, that I had made him suffer more than he had to."

When he was sick, however, he would read his books, allowing him to escape to magical worlds.

He would say:

“Art has always been my salvation. And my gods are Herman Melville, Emily Dickinson, Mozart. I believe in them with all my heart. And when Mozart is playing in my room, I am in conjunction with something I can’t explain — I don’t need to. I know that if there’s a purpose for life, it was for me to hear Mozart. Or if I walk in the woods and I see an animal, the purpose of my life was to see that animal. I can recollect it, I can notice it. I’m here to take note of. And that is beyond my ego, beyond anything that belongs to me, an observer, an observer.”

But, when he was well, he could be naughty. He would remember his mother often called him “vilde chaya”, which in Yiddish meant "wild animal".

He would make a name for himself as an illustrator. When he received an opportunity to write his first book, he used the title "Where the Wild Horses Are" - unfortunately, he realized he couldn't draw horses, so he told his editor. His editor would respond, "Well, what can you draw?"

He would answer "Things."

The book was about a young boy, who when he was naughty, would be sent to his room, where he would escape into a fantasy world - "Where the Wild Things Are".

Maurice Sendak's "Wild Things" were based on his aunts and uncles, who he observed as being "all crazy – crazy faces and wild eyes", with blood-stained eyes and "big and yellow" teeth, who pinched his cheeks until they were red. In fact, in the 1983 opera adaptation of his book, he actually gave the monsters the names of his relatives: Tzippy, Moishe, Aaron, Emile, and Bernard.

He said in one interview that his relatives would "lean way over with their bad teeth and hairy noses, and say something threatening like 'You're so cute I could eat you up.'"

Like his father, his relatives were poor, Jewish immigrants from Poland. It wasn't until he was older that he realized how fortunate he and and his family were to be alive.

He would say, “I cry a lot because I miss people. They die and I can't stop them. They leave me and I love them more.”

The Jon S. Randal Peace Page

#Where the Wild Things Are #Maurice Sendak

[lauvra]

I quietly reeled it in but haven't yet sat to pull twine from the part of my mind that has taken a sentinel roll wetting itself out in the world this week and it's been an eventful one. I'm a little worried what didn't sink in but I'll recall what I can. Xiao Lu, photographer and performance artist working between Sydney and Beijing had her first Melbourne installation on Friday at Mars Gallery on the same night as Melbourne based Artist Emil Canita and admittedly Lu's installation 'The Dignity of Remembering' came as a pleasant surprise to me. I was really moved by her work, fell into it in a sensory way and felt my heart open when she said she hoped her work helped people to understand her a little better because it felt like permission. I almost cried because it was such an honest thing for any Artist to admit. At least, I thought so. I'm intending to travel back and give it the attention I couldn't offer wholly that day though because I turned up to Mars to see a Gloryhole, knowing it would be an event to remember. It was. The building overflowed with the most playfully dressed, beautiful cliques and Ruby said this was the biggest opening night she'd seen in her time at the gallery. We all took a breather outside while Emil shared a statement upstairs nestled tight with his community. For a bit of information, he shared he was raped as a child and this naturally impacted his capacity for 'play' during sexual experiences into adulthood, through a journey with EMDR therapy he began experiencing vivid dreams and during one he owned a Gloryhole. He acted on this dream and began operating one within his northside apartment during Covid where he tended to (I heard) 800+ cocks and was a sole source of tenderness for many straight-identifying men during that time. Some of these men consented to being photographed and there was a four hour video - the echoes of which carried gently through the gallery during the owner's address to Xiao's work - from 19 men who were willing to be part of the project, then the Gloryhole itself; a thin wood panel wall with basic supports and a rectangular cutout at it's centre at the centre of the room. A series of framed photographs also hung on the wall upon which Emil wrote about whoever was in the picture, what they did for one another and what was shared. As an observer, it was difficult for me as a small straight-appearing female to manoeuvre through the crowds to read every piece without succumbing to the sensory input of the room and realising I've been staring meaningfully at a warmly saturated photograph of a cock or asshole and barely absorbing any of the words scrawled overtop. Part of my experience was that I felt intrusive. It was a really intimate experience and when another curator, Angela kept me company up there I said the thing that immediately struck me was how we could all just walk directly through the door into this moment of vulnerability and intimacy, when it takes an entire life to get there then a laborious act to draw out the softness in a man to be willing to say things he's never said. Some of these people were married and living double lives. That level of honesty is my favourite aspect of physical intimacy and of Art, it's what I realise so many of my experiences lacked and I've been abstinent because I wont tolerate anything less and I shame my Art when it lacks this also. I walked away with a new understanding that there were experiences through the lens of the male lived experience I'd never understand; but that I didn't judge it. When we were outside with our warm glasses of wine I thought, then said; 'I could be a little more tender," that's a realisation I step away from artworks with often lately. I love men. I believe in the healing powers of fellatio and authentic connection between consenting adults and I really didn't mean to make a post this long only about Emil Canita's 'At First I Was Afraid' exhibit but it was not some shallow point of view or easy attention grab and I plan to go back during quiet hours to read those stories more thoughtfully.

#me #word #I reached the word limit #I actually have so much more than this to say

[salanaii]

BTS Recommendations - Demian by Hermann Hesse

the subject that the book demian “talks” about the most, is actually implying the wings era, more specifically their song blood sweat & tears. demian is in a way influenced by the german philosopher nietzsche. nietzsche often talked about the creation of the self. demian is a book about becoming who one is, the loss of innocence, finding your true self. if you transit that to the lyrics of blood sweat and tears, it fits perfectly. their saying that they want something to badly, but that it’ll cost their innocence. in the demian, max demian tells his dear friend emil sinclair, who often finds himself tripping between the “good” and the “evil”, that the world can’t be put into binary categories. he tells him: “there’s evil in all good, and good in all evil.” emil is afraid of leaving the innocence of his childhood, but soon realizes, that it’s that what’s holding him back, that he has to embrace both the dark and light to find his true self. jin is put in the role of sinclair. at the beginning of the music video, you can see him standing apart from the other members, staring at a painting, between two doors. one light, one dark, one good, one evil. jin must now choose his path. everyone must find themselves. at the end, we can see jin kissing a statue, which symbolizes emil sinclair kissing max demian at the end of the book. in the novel, this is where sinclair realizes that demian is a rather a part of himself, not an actual person. he has embraced himself and can now be his own mentor. he has broken out of the egg, and can now fly

-Random user on Quora.com

by Krenda Seiler from

https://www.quora.com/What-connection-does-BTS-have-with-the-novel-Demian-by-Hermann-Hesse

Now BTS has always made good long meaningful music videos

But I believe the Blood, Sweet & Tears is one of the meaningful music videos I've seen.

It's about a fight between good Angels and bad Angels.

- The fall of the Rebel Angels

A world between life or death.

Showing a battle of wanting to sin and resisting against sinning.

Each member has a part in this

Jin- He's the one to be in the middle of all this. He doesn't know what side to choose.

Jungkook- He's on a swing, and that show's he's in the dark and can never come out.( Evil)

Suga- Now it shows him on glass, that means that he about to fall into the dark, into bad temptations. And the white smoke means he's having a hard time thinking correctly.

RM- He comes in and he's drinking something that's green ( green means balance, peace, awareness) but that's not the only color you see in the video, the rest of the colors have their own meaning to them. Each color is a different temptation. But RM is trying help his members but ends up always failing to do so, so in the end he gives up and drinks.

J- hope - He's sitting down with water around him and it's rising. This either means, he still has hope left or his temptations are taking longer on him. He seems to still be able to think correctly , so the water can't fully reach him. Then J- hope shoots his arrow, trying to show Jin what's wrong and what's right.

Suga and Jimin - Suga is trying to help Jimin( so he thinks) Jimin still has hope and he thinks it will all change to good again, that's why he hasn't ate the apple in his hand( apple bad) and suga has a blindfold In his hand. Suga thinks by cover Jimin from all this hope and temptations that Jimin will finally give up and give in to the evil/ dark side, instead of hurting himself and seeing that hope isn't there. Suga doesn't want Jimin to hold in all his pain and sins. He wants him to let it all out. Suga is trying to protect Jimin.

V- v pushed himself off the balcony, and then you see a painting

Landscape with the Fall of Icarus

V is evil. He gave into his temptations. So when he fall and smiles as he does it, he's dead on evil and he's proud of it, is what that pretty much means. He did fight against the darkness at one point, but failed so he completely gave in after.

Jimin- Suga blindfolded him and now he can't see. Jimin start to doubt suga's help and advice and realized he shouldn't give in to the dark. But Jimin struggles to get free and soon falls into the dark and the temptations

All- They are all running towards an exit for a evil path ( including Jhope)

Suga even drags Jimin along

Jin seem to be the one staying because he's still unsure what path he wants to take and he's still in the middle of it all. But V See's that and comes over and covers Jins eyes to tell him to come along with them to the bad path.

Soon comes the ending for Jin.

Next to Jin is the flower, that show's restored innocence. In his reflection, we see his true self, who doesn’t regret that he went into the dark path ( like everyone else.) which in the end,drove him into death. Soon it shows his reflection cracking meaning that he decides to change his true self in the sense of him fully giving up.

This is why I love this song so much. Such a great song with a great and powerful, not to mention emotional, music video. The boys did such a great job on this video and I love what they did to show us. This to me, is one of the meaningful music videos BTS has ever did. I don't think it's only just meaningful to us ARMY, but I believe it's very much meaningful to them ( BTS members) as well. I'm So proud of them for making this video.

by Krenda Seiler

#bts #bangtan #rm #jin #suga #jhope #jimin #v #jungkook #self care #youtube #Youtube #kim seokjin #recommendation #books #reading #blood sweat and tears #music video #music #dance #concept #good and evil

[daisy-thetoxic]

Light down low

Lana Parrilla x fem Oc

Warning- age gap, dumb con, degrading kink, praising kink, over stimulation, minor DNI

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Ivy was a new main character added into Once upon a time. She played Rapunzel, in the end of season Three did she join, and Season four she became a main character. She didn’t have a love interest, she was more of a bad ass who was sarcastic and had her own lizard.

Rapunzel was known to get shipped with Regina dispute Robin being her one true love. Some say it’s the chemistry between the actresses or that Rapunzel never judged Regina ok other opinion and always believe innocent until proven guilty. Often taking Regina’s side in most scenarios, or both of them.

Ivy ran her fingers through her hair as she got ready for comic con. Her lips their natural rosy color as her bright green eyes stuck out against her dark and thick eyelashes. She had got a wolf cut, her black curly hair framing her face perfectly as she worse a Lacey corset with a leather jacket over it and black jeans.

She was Hispanic, which shocked people when she got casted for Rapunzel but her character had brought popularity and the directors loved it.

“Ivy Gomez!” The announcer calls out, making the crowd scream as she walks out, tailing with the silver ring sim her fingers, which matched her silver necklaces she was wearing.

“Lana Parrilla!” He calls out next, making Ivy instantly look towards the entrance as she sat in her chair, Emile sitting next to her.

Lana was wearing something very similar to her, the jeans a different color and the make up less extravagant, although she still looked beautiful.

Ivy quickly looked away as she noticed Lana meeting her gaze. There were close on set, always cuddling with each other in one of their trailers, always touching, even Lana’s husband would joke about it with the rest of the cast.

Ivy wasn’t very close to them as she was to Lana, she was short and one asides, never talking much, always sipping at some whine or higher than a kite. Although you could tell if she was tipsy or high as she would be stuck to Lana’s side, not talking but just snuggling and watching everyone carefully.

Ivy wasn’t paying attention as he called the rest of the casts names, only focusing on playing with Lana’s hand which as situated on her thigh. She was taking the rings off of her fingers and putting it onto Lana’s.

“Ivy.” Lana whispered, getting her attention. The raven beauty looked up, noticing everyone looking at her. “Oh sorry.” She apologized to the person with the microphone. Feeling bad that she was in her daze again and not paying attention.

“It’s okay.” The girls assures her. “What’s as your question, sweetheart?” Ivy asks her, getting some cheers from the audience but she didn’t know what it was about.

“I was asking who would you sleep, marry and kill with, Emma, Ruby or Regina.” The girl asks, completely throwing Ivy completely off guard. Her eye brows furrowing “oh wow. I was not expecting that.” She breathed out. Slipping her hand out of Lana’s as she debated.

“Well here goes my career.” Ivy laughs, embarrassed slightly. “I would sleep with…. Ruby. She’s definitely my type.” Ivy says, making Meghan cheer as she said her character.

“I would kill Emma, only because I have very different options on whose Henry mother actually is.” She clarifies, wanting no rumors or drama to happen.

“And marry Regina.” She lists lastly, getting a uproar of cheers from the audience. She didn’t clarify why, hell she almost said ‘I mean, look at Lana, who wouldn’t want to marry her.’ But she restrained herself.

“Livy is so real.” Cheers before passing off the mic, making Ivy look around confused. “What’s Livy?” She asks, not understanding the ship name at all.

Some of the fans giggle, only increasing her confusion. By a lot. “What’s Livy?” Ivy asks again, only getting more giggles until the girl speaks up.

“Yours and Lana’s ship name.” Making Ivy’s widen in surprise and her mouth was doing an awkward smile. “I- there’s a ship name? Hold up, I’m googling this.” Ivy pulls out her phone, she wasn’t sure if that was allowed but she was curious.

When she clicked on images after googling ‘Livy once upon a time.’ As she scrolled further she found a lot more inappropriate images can’t sing her and Lana, some were disturbing as someone out in a lot of effort photo shop. There was particular one, it was Lana below what’s as suppose to be her, ‘Ivy’ had her hands trailing down Lana nude stomach while her other hand was aggressively groping her boob. Ivy fav went into one dog shock, surprise, wtf is this and what the hell.

People started laughing at her reaction, she quickly turned to Lana, showing her the image. Lana too stared at it in shock and surprise. “You guys love detail, huh.” Ivy comment, her and Lana looking at it in bewilderment. “Honestly, if I weren’t me I would have thought I did that.” Ivy says, turning to Lana with a cheeky grin. “We could.” “Ivy, no.” Lana tells her, laughing as Ivy pouts. “Way to let a girl down, Parrilla.” Ivy pouts, crossing her arms.

“How many of you do ship Livy?” She asks them, genuinely curious. The cast all look at her, haven’t seen her as oht of her she’ll as she was. Many… scratch that, 95% of the crowd cheers making her smile.

She turns to Lana with a cheeky grin, showing her another one of the photos. “Hey, atleast they made you boobs look nice. Fred’s a lucky guy.” She grins, receiving a slap on the back of her head from Lana. “Your dumb.” She insults her green eyed co-star.

“And in love, according to this article.” Ivy remarks, pointing to her phone. Lana snatches her phone from her, putting it between her thighs, thinking it would stop Ivy.

Ivy huffs, leaning back into her chair as she no longer had her phone. “You’re a child.” Lana teases her, making Ivy pout more. “If I’m a child, that makes your pedophile, and I’ll be damned if I’m being lectured by a pedophile, Lana.” She mocks Peter Griffin, making Lana squint her eyes as the audience laughs, getting the reference.

“Are you serious.” Lana raises an eyebrow at her. “No I’m Ivy, Sirius died, I made you watch Harry Potter Lana.” Ivy jokes more, her and the crowd laugh. “I’m done with you.” Lana says, scooting her chair away from Ivy. There was nothing blocking the audience from seeing under the table, so they know where Ivy phone is and they always watch as Ivy grabs the bottom of Lana’s chair, pulling it right next to her, this time there was no space and the women were shoulders to shoulders. Unknown to the black haired beauty’s, many do the fans took recording and photos of the action.

Ivy smiles at her, it meeting her eyes as she koala hugs Lana from the side. “You love me.” Lana rolls her eyes but patting her hand, leaning her head on Ivy’s. “Unfortunately.” She mumbles making Ivy gasp on offense. “Fed, you can have her back.” Ivy comment making Lana slap her thigh.

Fred didn’t like Ivy, or how close she was to his wife. He was always at Lana’s interviews and in the audience at her comic cons. Lana had told Ivy that he didn’t like her, and Ivy off turned it into jokes. She knew Fred was jealous and she thrives on it.

••••••••••••••

Posting part two latter 🥰



[anxiouslyfred]

Words of Experience

for @aro-sides-week prompt of Tertiary Attraction

Summary: Logan always assumed because they’d felt attraction before he couldn’t be aro. When a poetry discussion with Roman gets diverted onto types of attraction they start to change that thought.

/\/\

Attraction is weird. It's spoken about in so many bizarre ways that Logan is convinced society is trying to avoid anyone figuring out they might be aromantic or asexual. They'd spent years wondering if he could be aro but dismissing the idea purely because they know what attraction felt like and experienced it relatively often without the desires for romance that Patton had once described coming with a crush.

They were only illuminated to the nuances of attraction during a poetry discussion with Roman. Logan had been aware for a while that Roman is more intelligent that the needless singing originally had them believing but it was an interesting time to get revelations over how many types of attraction there are.

“For such beautiful words, I would give my all to a woman like this.” Roman sighed as they discussed an Emily Dickinson poem that Logan had been struggling to understand the sentiments of.

They had blinked for a moment before stating, “Roman, you are gay. Why are you implying some poetic words would attract you to a woman?”

“It's not romantic attraction, Logan. Clearly it's not, but are you saying you've never spoken to someone and just wanted to be around them more, or seen someone and without any lust or desire wanted to know them?” Roman exclaimed, forehead creasing when he registered their processing face.

They only replied a few moments later. “I thought that is just what attraction is. Do you mean that there are different feelings to the attraction if it's romantic?”

“Yes.” Roman nodded, lips pursed and debating. “What experience with attraction have you had?” He asked cautiously as if unsure the question would be welcome.

It made them thing carefully for a while, curious and concerned over being able to describe the attraction they had felt. If it hadn't been some level of romantic or sexual attraction, then what might they class it as? “That man from your theatre group; I was attracted to him for the reasoning traps and attentiveness that was needed to hold a conversation without being made a fool of. Oh, and I was attracted to Emile for a while, though that was short lived given his propensity for cartoon references. It was his intellect and knowledge of psychology that attracted me then.” Logan began explaining, trying to remember other occurrences of attraction.

“Intellectual attraction then. I'm not sure how I'd label an attraction based on poetry, like the one I referred to for Miss Dickinson, perhaps charismatic.” Roman suggested, nodding. “If it's not prying, have you actually wanted to date anybody before?”

Logan paused again, feeling like everything Roman was saying gave them a cause for self-evaluation they hadn't been away needed doing. It was frustrating to be asked this specific question though, simply due to how close it came to their revelation over there being different types of attraction. “I don't know!” They snapped, scowling, “How do you know about this?”

“Remus got fascinated by tertiary attraction a while back, left a few google searches open on my laptop after stealing it which I read through. He's now decided to make jokes over any type of attraction he feels being sexual.” Roman easily replied, shrugging a little as if that wasn't a big deal, “Besides, I've been trying to figure out the types I feel most often.”

They nodded, taking a few deep breaths since the attempt to make it a fight wasn't risen to. “That seems to be a reasonable decision. I'm going to endeavour to interrogate the attraction I experience from now on, but  had not understood there are different types of it prior to this conversation.”

Roman nodded again, eyes tightening a little as he looked Logan over before offering, “Would you prefer if we refocus on Dickinson's poetry?” He offered.

“Of course, thank you.” Logan agreed, looking back to the book between them. “I have to say, these likes don't seem loving, despite the poem being reported as a love poem. They seem more to describe symptoms of indigestion.”

Roman leant back, hand to chest as if scandalised. “How dare you! Those are describing the nerves of getting your heartbroken.”

By the time Logan reached home that evening, their head was still spinning with thoughts of attraction and desire. They'd barely taken in any more knowledge or ideas about poetry from the discussions with Roman but for the first time weren't bothered over that. The afternoon was far from wasted when Logan had learnt such important information.

They might soon be certain over a label to use other than queer and it was more than likely to be aromantic.

#arosidesweek2022 #aro logan #poetry buddies #logan sanders #roman sanders #platonic logince #tertiary attraction

[cherryfinolahobbes]

Meetings? Definitely shenanigans! Possible headcanon

So a fun little headcanon that popped into my head today and until I’m told otherwise this is how Wong working with Blonski is going down.

That Bruce convinces Wong to help Emil because he believes the guy is sorry for what he did, but is too eaten away with guilt and anger. He transforms way too often to be safe. Bruce wants Wong to help Emil like he helped him.

Wong reluctantly agrees, but the best place would be the mirror dimension and true, Wong could just open a portal in the Max security jail, but that would probably cause more grief than it’s worth since Blonski is watched like a hawk.

Wong needs to be able to go in and set up the necessary wards and enchantments that will allow him to go into Blonski’s cell unseen and undetected.

Bruce has an idea and says he knows someone who can help. They make their plans and the date is set.

Wong arrives at Bruce’s island and Bruce has none other than Cherry Hobbes in tow. Wong immediately begins to reject the idea on the spot. Forget the fact he’s becoming quite smitten with the young woman who is heavily woven into the fabric of the Avengers and seems to be popping up at every turn, but it’s too dangerous. How is this going to work?

Cherry declares that she is Tony Stark’s personal assistant, which gives her an especially high security clearance, especially since there’s quite a bit of Stark Tech in Emil’s cell. Tony’s out helping a peace conference and if they want to get to Blonkski, she’s the best person.

Plus she knows the warden and knows his weakness for a good brown butter cookie and has made a whole container of them.

Wong is still skeptical until Bruce agrees. As smart as he is, he’s still seen as the Hulk and a weapon and too dangerous. Cherry does have higher clearance than him.

So, with great reluctance, Wong agrees and is treated to quite the show of Cherry sweet talking the Warden and winning him over with her confections. Leaving Wong to be able to go into Blonski’s cell and do what he needs to do.

#headcanons #hulk #she hulk adjacent #blip #Wong #mcu oc #Bruce banner

[vinbee631]

5 - Opening Up, Letting the Day In, Pour You a Cup and Say “Hello, How Ya Been?”

Prodigal Sons and Daughters Alike

The rest of the week went similarly. The boys settled into the earlier wake up time and spent about as much time as they could sitting in on early classes or watching performances. 

And, when they weren’t doing that, they had the rest of the week to get to know each other.

Chapter title song from Waitress (or Opening Up by Sara Bareilles if that's more your style, I guess). No comment on this chapter, it gets interesting very very soon though!

or maybe it's all uninteresting and I live in a river in egypt

“I don’t think it’s fair that we get only a week to tell each other thirteen years of stories,” Remus complained. He’d mentioned it before, but every so often, he was reminded of the cruel injustice and had to make his displeasure known.

“Well, it’s not like we can’t talk to each other once classes really start. Sure, there will be other stuff to do, but we’ll probably stilll see each other every day. Oh, and we’ll get to meet Virgil! Hopefully,” Patton added.

“Oh yeah, I almost forgot about that” Roman chimed in. “I wonder if he lives really far away or something. Honestly, I don’t really care that much, but I do wanna get to know him.”

“True, though I am kinda sad we missed out on the chance to talk to him this week, and that he’s missing out on all the early stuff. It’s been really fun! I’ve already started working on side projects with some of the kids in my classes.”

“I agree,” Logan said. “It also puts him at a bit of a disadvantage. He won’t know his way around the school, nor where is classes are. I suppose it is like regular high school in that regard, but it is unfortunate given he had the opportunity to not experience the infamiliarity so suddenly.”

“That was a very roundabout way of saying that you already care about this kid, but pop off I guess,” Remus teased.

Logan rolled his eyes at that, but didn’t fall for the bait of his teasing. He had gotten into several quite crude renditions of “debates,” all of which he was in the firm belief that he had won, not that Remus would ever admit to such defeat. 

…It would be infuriating if Logan didn’t find them to be quite entertaining.

But today, he was not in the mood for another one of those discussions, so he kept his thoughts to himself, tuning back in as the others continued to speculate about him.

“I seriously can’t believe there’s nothing Dr. Picani could have told us about him. Although, he did say if we had any questions, we could go to him, but that seems like far too much effort on my part,” Janus drawled.

“That is soemthing to think about, though. Like, he didn’t give any explanation. Virigl is entiled to his own privacy and whatnot, but like… I can’t imagine he would care about keeping it private unless something bad happened.”

“Privacy and whatnot,” Remus teased under his breath, “you’re really selling it there.”

“To be fair, Emile probably knows like- how much is a good amount of information for us to know. And, I mean if you don’t wanna get up and go to his office to talk to him, we are able to text him, Janus,” Patton pointed out.

“And yet, I’m going to continue to be lazy, out of spite. I live off of the stuff,” Janus declared, smirking.

Patton shrugged, although he did spot Janus not-so-subtly hiding his phone behind his legs during lunch that afternoon, so he suspected that he was being dramatic, unsurprisingly. ‘

Aside from Virgil’s absence, he was very happy to be bonding with all his roommates already. He hadn’t necessarily been worried about not getting along, but he loved making new friends, especially from places he’d never been before.

As a kid, it was just him, at this school with his parents, or at home with his grandparents. He was homeschooled, so friends were few and far between, and mostly online. It was enough to keep him happy, but he had been looking forward to actually, y’know- attending this school and making friends with the kids in his grade.

So far, he’d only really had success with his roomates.

The kids in his track were very friendly! But when they found out his dad taught some of their classes… they ended up acting just a little differently around him. It got even worse when they figured out his mom worked in a different section of the school.

It didn’t change by that much, and certainly not to a noticeable degree to any outsider, but Patton could see it. He could tell they measured what they said around him, didn’t complain about school around him even when they had complaints, and quite honestly, avoided striking conversation with him in general.

But, when lunchtime rolled around, he could rush down to the cafeteria and greet his dormmates, who couldn’t care less if his mom taught at their school.

…Probably because most of them didn’t know, but that was besides the point!

Okay, all of them didn’t know. There was a reason for that, though. Patton didn’t normally like keeping secrets, but if he lost the chance at another perfectly good friendship, he might lose it a little. 

The others didn’t seem to mind, at any rate, when he avoided questions about his family. Janus was open about his experience in a single parent household, and he’d told Patton directly that he didn’t owe them any information he didn’t want to share.

So that was… comforting, to say the least. 

But anyway, he was getting way off track! If he kept worrying about something he, frankly, shouldn’t focus on at all, he was going to space out through the entirely of lunch and miss time with his friends! 

They were talking about something he wasn’t all that familar with, some show he hadn’t watched, but it was more than nice to sit and listen to the twins ramble back and forth with Logan and Janus about the most important bits and the best relationships. 

As Patton zoned back in, trying to figure out which season they were laying out and criticizing now, Janus caught his gaze and ticked an eyebrow up, almost asking with his eyes if Patton was alright.

He smiled gratefully and nodded, then gave up and asked Roman what the heck they were going on about anyway because he was so very lost.

And yeah, even with secrets, he was sure they were going to stay friends for a long time!

…

The closer they got to the real start of classes, the more anxious the boys became. Of course, the idea of actually going to class was starting to seem a bit daunting, but anticipating Virgil’s arrival had not gotten any easier.

The last day of their first week arrived far too quickly, and when they all woke up almost annoyingly early, Roman included, the boys realized they needed a bit bigger of a distraction than just attending more fake classes.

When they started brainstorming what to do, Roman excitedly told the others about a poster he’d seen about a nature hike that was supposed to start about an hour after breakfast.

Janus had many complaints about the matter, but his vote was discounted when everyone else decisively started getting ready for their miniature, supervised adventure!

Summers in Florida were a nightmare worse than hell itself some days, and it had rained the night before. The boys expected it to be miserably and muggy, but by some miracle the dew on the ground left the air pleasantly cool around them. 

They arrived a bit earlier than everyone else, but the teachers were already there, so it was probably fine.

“Heyy, our first hikers! Good to see y’all! We have nametags if you can read ‘em, to save time instead of doing boring icebreakers, but you can introduce yourselves if ya want!” 

Patton grinned, taking the opportunity to introduce himself first, and the others followed allong in various states of excitement (with Janus being at the opposite end of the spectrum from Patton).

“Well, it’s good to see you! We’re not supposed to start for about another ten minutes, so you can just hang out while we wait for some more freshies!”

Remus very elegantly flopped into the grass at the words, ignoring the morning dew that was soaking into his shorts. “Sooo, are you guys ready for tomorrow?” Roman rolled his eyes at his brother. “You’re getting wet stains on your ass, but yes! Very. I’ve already been learning a lot in dance class this week, and now we get to actually start class! It’s like, I didn’t think things could get better, but they can!”

The others agreed, and for the first time in the whole week, they stood (or sat, in Remus’ case) together in silence as the conversation trailed off into nothing. 

Even Remus, who normally detested silence, could appreciate the moment for a little while. It wasn’t like they had anything pressing to talk about, and there was a lot to think about today. They could get back into talking once the hike started.

Over the next ten minutes, the small group of five roommates and the two chaperones turned into about 35 students, which led to them calling another supervising teacher and starting about two minutes later than they said.

“Alright, now that we’ve gotten that all sorted, good morning! I’m happy to see so many kids interested in getting some movement in this early! In case the nametags are a bit too far away for y’all to see, I’m Toby, and these are our other two walking buddies for the day!” 

Remus missed the rest of the introduction, but it didn’t particularly matter, as they started walking right after that.

The kids had the option to walk closer to the front of the group, with the teacher that was going to narrate the hike? Or something? Maybe the plant types, Remus wasn’t sure. He opted to stay with the rest of his friends, closer to the back, so they could talk to each other or walk without the interruption of narration about plants. 

Remus ended up in a walking pair with Janus. Apparently, Roman had run into one of his friends from the dance track, and Remus was more than happy to let them walk together.

The only problem was, Janus did not look particularly excited to be there. 

“Hey, you good?” He asked. “I mean, I know you were the least excited to join us, but is this really that awful for you? Cuz if it is, I’d be more than happy to- uh, not be here, with you, if you want.”

Janus chuckled slightly at his stuttering. “No, it’s more than alright. Sure, I’m not the biggest fan of physical activity, but I believe I shall live.”

“Is there a reason for that? I mean, if you wanna talk about it. I know there are tons of people that just don’t like exercise, but you’re staring at the trail like it killed your cat or something.”

“Well, I’m more of a snake person…” Janus started to deflect, but for some reason, stopped himself. “But,  I suppose, if you wouldn’t mind listening to me rant, I could.”

“Go for it! Much better than the nature junk the others are talking about in the front. I think I might die of boredom if I had to listen to someone talk about the eighteen different types of fucking trees we’re walking past.”

Janus laughed outright at that. “Fair enough. I suppose, well, it’s not a big deal, but I have asthma. It’s not serious, and I have my inhaler on me, please do not freak out. I simply have… a complicated history, with people, especially gym teachers, forcing me to do things they think I can handle when I physically cannot. It is… frustrating, to say the least.”

Remus winced in sympathy. “Gym teachers suck ass, I’d beat them up for you.”

Janus snorted involuntarily. “As… entertaining ast hat would be, definitely not necessary. How many supposed gym teachers could you take in a fight, anyway?” 

“Oh, are we talking all at once or in rounds? Because depending on stature and the timing, it really depends. I could maybe take two of the stereotypical out of shape gym teachers at once, but I’m not very tall, so it depends,” he replied easily.

“Have you… thougth about, how many gym teachers you can fight?”

“Oh, I think about fighting all kinds of things!” And Remus was off, chatting away about the things he seemed to think about, possibly a bit too much, in his free time.

As they walked, Remus’ stream of thoughts kept Janus moving, laughing past a barely noticeable ache in his lungs. Surprisingly enough, he didn’t even need to take a break during their walk.

He wasn’t sure if it was merely a placebo effect or not, but if his friend’s excited rants were a substitute for his inhaler, Janus would listen to him any day of the week with a smile. 

…Well, perhaps it was closer to a smirk, but that wasn’t the saying, now was it?

#sanders sides fanfiction #tss storytime 2023 #roman sanders #remus sanders #janus sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders

[chibiexorcist]

Probably psychological fictionkin, copinglink, or sympath re: Emil. And I'm not sure which.

Questioning whether I'm even allowed to call myself spiritual kin re: ancient dragons, because I'm so different from them anymore… I'm not exactly the way they were in canon, so I must be faking..?

Though, how much of that is due to kin…ness?- and how much is due to mental illness, of which I've got a boatload piled up in this life alone?

OCD, clinical depression, generalized anxiety, and C-PTSD are what I've been diagnosed with, and I'm self-dx'ed with autism and quite possibly BPD.

How much of that could affect whether I'm identical to my kintype? How much of it could cause me to believe I'm my kintype at all, even if I'm not? How can I be certain even this isn't psychological?

Genuinely afraid that I've been faking being a system this whole time, too. Again.

Because it's been harder to hear and feel Val clearly, because he often- though not always- says what I need to hear when I'm hurt, because "if I love him this much there's a chance I'm just strongly imagining everything", because we don't amnesia shift now and I'm always conscious and retain some control of my body even when it feels like he's the primary mindset/personality… or, if I have had amnesiac shifts, I only remember blacking out and coming to, to find that I've been moving and/or speaking without being aware of it, 3 times(?) in 31 years.

And if I'm not faking being a system, I'm really not sure what the origin is. Which is... important to everyone, it seems, and which parts of the communitues you're allowed to have anything to do with appear to completely depend on it.

If it's not fake, it's been the case since I was little, before I knew about his source material or him at all. Because I was only 5 or so for the first amnesiac episode, and 9 or 10 the second time. The third time didn't happen until I was 22(?), and I was sleep-deprived at the time.

I have felt like there was someone else directly affecting my words and actions a few times in regards to abusive situations and unwanted advances, but how do I know that was him and not still me? How do I know I'm not just that "fucked up"?

Hell, how can I even be certain my headmate is who I think he is? Yeah he responds to that name and is similar to his canon-portrayed self, but…

…dammit, I want to trust everything.

But I don't even feel like I can trust myself anymore. I don't feel like I can trust the idea that I'm not unintentionally lying to myself.

And there's also a chance that there might be a second individual in my admittedly bare headspace? If there is, he answers to Ratatosk, in his English dubbed voice from the game. BUT. How do I know that's not made up? I mean, if I feel a connection to Emil anyway, there's a chance my mind is messing with me and he's not really there, right?

Also, Val and Ratatosk are fairly similar characters in some aspects. Different enough to tell them apart, but still similar. How do I know I'm not just imagining them, to cope with life as a whole?

How do I know I'm not leaning on literally everything listed, and possibly more, as an excuse to try to survive?

I tried just believing, no strings attached, but…

…I… I'm not sure, at this point.

It hurts, and it scares me. A lot.

I'd finally felt like I had a sense of self… and it might be gone. It might have been me lying to myself.

Or for all I know, since another person had brought up the possibility to me (because I hadn't even thought of it, didn't realize many of these were even things that existed), I could have just as easily latched on to what was said. I could have been manipulated into this belief, either by them (probably unintentionally) or by myself (again, probably unintentionally).

…I'm… terrified. It feels like everything is falling apart.

(…well, life itself has been falling apart for at least a year now, and wasn't exactly "normal" or easy to deal with for most of my life… but, you know. And that's neither here nor there anyway.)

And I don't know what to do.

I don't have anyone to reach out to- I already fucked up multiple times and caused them to leave. Just like everyone else…

…ah, right… that's another reason this could be fake. I've been alone for so long… I could just be making up an imaginary support system….

...I somehow doubt this will be seen, or acknowledged, let alone read all the way through. Honestly, I don't even know why I'm posting it to begin with...

...I guess... I just. ...idk...

#system doubt cw #kin doubt cw #scared af and there are no active help/advice blogs i can go to and ask about this #system things #kin things #fictionkin #otherkin #...dammit... i shouldn't be trying to reach out. i shouldn't be asking for help. i know better i know better i kNOW BETTER-- #i don't know if this is ableist either in any way and if it is i want to change that and i don't know if i should tag it or not #because i literally don't know anything..! #... #mental illness cw #almost forgot that one... and there are most likely people who don't wanna deal with that

[thewolfisawake]

# for Katarina and Emil for Aspis

send me “#” for cell phone headcanons about our muses including:

what your muse’s name is in mine’s phone

Ojou or Onna-Bugeisha ( ง `ω´ )۶▬ι═══════ﺤ

what your muse’s picture is in mine’s phone

Aspis has one of the rare very cute pictures of Katarina for her picture. Although, it’s arguable that it’s not really rare for him since he’s collected a lot of pictures of his friends that show other sides. Soooooo yeah. (It’d be something like the above, a really nice cute genuine smile that isn’t scary)

what your muse’s ringtone is in mine’s phone

Wonder Woman Theme 

my muse’s last text to your muse

“I’ll grab it next time.”

what your muse’s name is in mine’s phone

So Dan’na (*-`ω´- )人(*-`ω´- )

what your muse’s picture is in mine’s phone

Probably a really cheeky photo that Emil actually knew Aspis was taking and added to it. Aspis probably liked it enough to keep it as the picture and it’s not like Emil could get in and change it.

what your muse’s ringtone is in mine’s phone

Death by Glamour from U.ndertale

my muse’s last text to your muse

“What does that even mean? Emil, what are you planning?”

#answered #Kat's was so hard #but both are used rather jokingly #I almost put tiger mom #but I don't think Kat would get it #and finding things on it #might seem insulting #it's too bad she likely wouldn't get what her ringtone is #meanwhile #Emil's are all jokes too #So Dan'na is fun in both #that he's saying 'So Husband' (lit boss) #and 'Sou Da Na' #which he believes he says often to Emil #and he thought Death By Glamour #was the exact theatrics he was going for #arcxnumvitae

[clairecrive]

Hi could we please get a really angsty fic with nikolai (with a happy ending pls) where reader and he has had a fight so they maintain the facade on the outside bc they're royals but in private it's just ignoring each other/angst?

Young Royals

A/N: ahh, this is angsty alright but it seems I'm only capable of writing hurt/comfort lately. This took a life of its own and it's long af but I hope you like it anyway x

Warnings: miscommunication, angst, fighting, hurt/comfort, Nikolai is a bit absent, you're a bit jealous of his relationship with Zoya

Tags: @jupiterandbutterflies, @agentsofsheilds , @for-bebbanburg , @randomoutsiders , @pansysgirlfriend , @hannaxmaria , @vintagebitc , @story-scribbler , @crowssixof , @odetostep,@lizzie-he4rts, @korol-lantsov, @subjecta13-thefangirl, @gallysonegoodlung, @a-c-lee, @mriddlemethis, @carnationworld,@thanossexual, @luvxginger, @sanna2020,@partiesandblurrypolaroids, @edithsvoice, @wafflesandschemingfaces (tag list form)

SHADOW AND BONE MASTERLIST

"Do not put words into my mouth, Nikolai."

"Please, you already have so many, my love," he scoffed and the use of the term of endearment hurt the most.

"You're making me sound like a brat while I'm providing you with a viable solution," you insisted with a flare of your hands, frustrated by his unwillingness to listen to you.

"No, you're not. What you're doing is being childish."

"I'm your queen, Nikolai. I'm only asking to be more involved."

"You're my wife, y/n, and you know nothing about politics or running a country." He retired, putting emphasis on wife. This felt a lot like being put into place. And the fact that it was your husband doing so, hurt. It was also the most you had seen him this week.

"Neither did Zoya, nor Genya or anyone who's currently running the country."

"That's different and you know it."

"Only because you're making it so," you exclaimed finally exploding. His despondency got on your nerves and this conversation was going nowhere anyway.

Surprised by your raise of voice, Nikolai stood before you just blinking at you.

Sighing, you took a step toward him, holding your hands up, "look, you're right, I don't know about running a country but teach me. I'm not stupid, I'll pick it up."

"Why are you insisting so much? You've never shown any interest in politics before." He gave you a puzzled look like he didn't really believe your intentions.

"I've never wanted to be queen before." before meeting you.

"Ah, I see," he chuckled mirthlessly, "I put you in this situation and now you're taking your revenge."

To insinuate that your marriage with him was you "being put into a situation" rather than a consensual decision you had made out of love was absurd.

Nikolai was right. You had never cared about politics or diplomacy before meeting him. You were a soldier. There was no reason for you to meddle with something that didn't concern you.

But now you were queen and you felt a responsibility towards your people. You wanted to help but so far, Nikolai hadn't allowed you to take part in any meetings. He said that anyone who needed to be there was already involved. What he didn't tell you was that while Grisha made excellent soldiers and even good councillors, one of them being a royal was a very different matter.

He had indulged his love for you by marrying you. You were his vice and he simply couldn't accept the idea of being without you anymore. He had married you, consequently making you queen, going against what his advisors told him.

While he ignored his warnings he was painfully aware, however, how difficult it was going to be for a Grisha on the throne. It was the first time something liked this had ever happened and unfortunately, the country was filled with people who resented Grisha for their powers.

Nikolai feared that the people were never going to accept you. Hence why he'd been keeping you secluded in the palace.

To be fair, you were doing a wonderful job. Like he had pointed out, you were not accustomed to politics but you made up for that with empathy and kindness. You started to interest yourself with the problem of poverty and lack of provisions for some parts of the country.

And while no one was aware of it, Nikolai often turned to you for military strategy. You were an apt soldier and had fought bravely alongside him and everyone else in the battle of the Fold. You were the very reason why he was still alive, to be honest.

While this arrangement worked for the first months of your reign, it was starting to feel an inadequate effort. You needed to do more, you wanted to do more. You didn't expect Nikolai to oppose it so vehemently.

"If I didn't want to be here I wouldn't be, Nikolai, you'd do well to remember it," you pointed out coldly, straightening your spine.

"Since you seem so adverse at spending time with me or including me in important matters, I'll find someone else who will." And with that, chin held high, you walked out of the room.

You missed him. It felt absurd to say this but you missed your husband. He was always busy with meetings or official visits to some noble across the country. For most of them, he went alone or with Zoya.

You knew that she was his first in command but you couldn't help but be bothered by it. It was one thing to accept the fact that he hadn't given the role to you "because the queen cannot have that role as well", it was a whole other thing to accept the fact that another woman spent more time with your husband than you did.

Countless were the fights you had with him in this regard. But they were pointless. Nikolai was still set on not bringing you and he and Zoya were always found together.

You didn't know what hurt more. The blow at your pride for being denied a position you deserved because of who you loved, the jealousy or being punished for your identity.

One thing was sure though, it was getting too much. At first, you pulled thought for Nikolai but now that you didn't have him anymore, your efforts seemed to be in vain.

So, like you had told Nikolai, you looked for someone who was willing to teach you. You wanted to help and if Nikolai wasn't going to let you here at the palace, then you'd find somewhere else.

Count Kirigin had always been nice to you and he was a very generous host. You knew that he played a central role in Nikolai's plan so you thought that there was no one better than him.

You reached out to him, wrote him a letter in which you showed interest in his activity and asked him if he was willing to show you. Of course, anything that came from the queen or the king couldn't be denied but you knew that the Count truly enjoyed your company. If your position didn't put so much higher than everybody else, you'd even consider him a friend.

You waited for his reply before putting in motion the preparations for your departure.

In the meantime, you and Nikolai kept conducting your separate lives. Usually, you'd only see him at night when he returned to your chambers if you were still up. Now, you had decided to sleep in separate rooms too.

If he wanted a wife, then a wife he'd get. But kings and queens do not sleep together.

If the new arrangement was bothering him, you didn't know. He hadn't reached out to you nor made any move to rectify your decision.

Turns out that he wasn't even at the Palace. He had left for a mission near the border with Shu Han and wouldn't be back for at least a week. Well, then. Of course, he didn't even bother with telling you. Not even a small note.

Jokes on him though, you thought, since when he was going to come back, he'd finally get what he wanted. You weren't going to be there to bother him anymore.

Differently from him though, you did indeed left him a note. Nikolai found it a week after you had set it on his pillow. Its presence made him furrow his eyebrows since he had already been wondering where you were. You usually came out to meet him at the gates whenever he'd come back from a mission and even though you had fought before he went away, you weren't one for holding grudges. So e guessed there was something holding you.

Unfolding the paper he was met with your familiar chaotic writing.

"I don't know when you're going to find this letter but if I'm not there yet it means that I'm still at Count Kirigin's. Do not bother with writing or visiting, I'll come back when my business with him is done.

Y/n"

What in the name of every sweet loving saint???

The letter wasn't dated, no dear, no yours no nothing. Fuck. You were still mad or worse, hurt.

Asking one of the servants, he learned that you had been away for a week already. But what business could you possibly have with the Count??

Nikolai had nothing against him. Seeing Kirigin get all flustered as he tried to flirt with Zoya amused him to no end but the idea of him and you in the same house? Alone?? Unacceptable.

Not even bothering to change clothes after his long journey, Nikolai headed to the stables to ask for a well-rested horse. Luckily, Count Kirigin's estate was not too far away. A couple of hours ride.

Turns out that the Count had a lot to teach. Despite his aloof reputation and extravagant clothes, he was very observant. He lacked ambition, which was why Nikolai trusted him and had a curious way of behaving in social situations.

But Emil had been born and raised in high society. He knew how things were run even if he had no desire to be in charge of them.

So far, you'd be having a wonderful time. Emil was a wonderful host, as you remembered, but without Nikolai's presence, he was even more extravagant. He had an unexpectedly dry sense of humour and a never-ending list of jokes.

Being in the open and in the company of someone who saw y/n instead of the Queen of Ravka proved to be even more needed than you thought. You felt reinvigorated and much lighter than you'd ever been.

You had also been learning a lot. Emil had been teaching you about diplomacy. About the best ways of formulating a sentence so that you wouldn't offend anyone but still get what you wanted. He had also been talking to you about your husband's ministers. About their weaknesses and vices and what was the best way to approach them to get what you wanted.

So far, it was proving to be a wonderful decision to come here.

Whenever your mind strayed on Nikolai, you willed it to focus on something else. You didn't know if he had already come home or seen the letter. A part of you thought that if he had, he would at least write one back. But the thought felt a lot like hope and seeing as how little he saw you even before you left, you didn't think it safe to harbour it.

When Nikolai reached the estate, he was met with Kirigin's servants. They welcomed him inside and profusely apologised for the Count's absence. They told him that at this time of the day, Kirigin and his guest would usually go out on a ride but that they were also about to return.

So Nikolai waited, sitting in the most comfortable chair the Count owned, fuming at the thought that his wife had felt the need to go away and be in the company of another man.

"If I didn't want to be here, I wouldn't be Nikolai. You'd do well to remember it."

Your words haunted him. They were the last thing that you told him. How stupid had he been to let you walk away. How utterly careless of him to disregard you like that.

He had promised himself to truly talk to you about it once this pressing matter of state was taken care of. Apparently, he had waited too long.

But Nikolai knew that the problem was at the source. He noticed how hurt you had been when he made Zoya his first in command. Or how sad you seemed everywhere he went somewhere with her and didn't ask you to join.

He was doing so to protect you from the inevitable slander you'd be met with. He should have known though that putting you aside was going to be even worse. You were a fighter just as much as Zoya was, if not stronger.

She hid behind her veil of indifference and superiority while you had never lost that emphatic verve that made everyone love you so much. In his attempt to make you safe, he had only managed to hurt you.

You were a warrior. You had accepted the role of queen only because it was the only way for you to be with Nikolai. And instead of praising you by making you a warrior queen, he had decided to hide you away.

Well, no more.

If his mistakes had not ruined everything already, he was going to make everything better.

Lost in his musing, he didn't hear the sound of hooves approaching but he did indeed hear your laugh. It immediately brought him back to the present and a wave of ugly jealousy hit him.

He couldn't remember the last time he made you laugh.

"I shouldn't even laugh Emil, the joke was terrible," Nikolai hear you giggling from somewhere in the hall. So now he was Emil, huh.

"You know you can't resist my charm, your highness," Emil replied and Nikolai had to call on every bit of his self-control to not barge out of the room and punch him.

"Stop it, you know you can call me y/n."

Before Emil could reply, they had both made it to the sitting room where Nikolai was waiting for them. It looked like no one had warned them of his presence because Kirigin looked surprised then utterly mortified.

"Your majesty, I wasn't aware you were here. Please forgive me for making you wait."

"Don't fret Kirigin, it was an impromptu visit. I came to see how my lovely wife was doing." No matter how green he was feeling right now, he knew that Kirigin was loyal to him and the crown. Whatever was happening here wasn't one of his schemes.

"Of course! I'm going to send for some tea while you two get reunited." Kirigin quickly bowed before hurrying out of the room.

Nikolai met your eyes for the first time since you had arrived. If at first, you were surprised to see him, now you couldn't help but be a bit sceptical about this visit.

"What are you doing here?" you asked breaking the ice.

"You leave with only a few lines on where you're going and you expect me to just accept it?" He scoffed, his hands curling on the armrests of the chair.

"It's more than what you gave me," you quipped, crossing your arms on your chest.

Nikolai sighed while his gloved hands run through his hair. You were right and he knew it. He had been a horrible husband lately.

"I know you're mad at me, honey, but listen-"

"I'm not mad. You didn't want to give me what I wanted so I went looking for it somewhere else." Scrolling your shoulders, you interrupted him without meeting his eyes. A list of excuses was not what you wanted nor what you needed from him.

Nikolai didn't miss the innuendo. His jaw clenched, his hands closed in fists. But he willed himself to stay calm.

"You think Kirigin can give you something that I can't?" Nikolai was a master in diplomacy. Never did he get frustrated or angry or raised his voice, even with the most aggravating people. Here though, with you, he didn't have to keep a façade. He spoke through his teeth barely containing his anger.

"Well, so far, he's been giving me attention and interesting pointers that no, Nikolai, you refused to give me."

"So this is how you solve your problems? Running away in the countryside with Emil?" Nikolai sneered, his tone souring around Kirigin's name.

"Don't you do the same with your precious first in command?" Tired after your ride with Emil, you plopped down on the chair in front of Nikolai's. Completely ignoring his tone, you pointed out calmly. The perfect image of aloofness even when it was the last thing you were in this moment.

"That's different," he snapped trying to meet your eyes that were carefully analyzing your hands.

"Yes," you signed, "it seems that when I'm concerned everything is different."

"There's nothing between me and Zoya, y/n and you know it." Nikolai was getting more frustrated by the second. He came here to apologize, to make things right and so far, the conversation was going in the opposite directions.

"Maybe now, but you spend more time with her than you do with me. It's only a matter of time before it happens and you're sorely mistaken if you think I'll just stand by and watch."

"This is not about Zoya," he insisted but so far, he wasn't getting the reaction out of you he wanted. You seemed... resigned at the situation. And that worried Nikolai to no end.

"It never is."

"Why did you run away?" Opting for a more direct approach, he bit the bullet and went straight to the point.

"I did not run away," you scoffed in contempt at his choice of words, "I told you I wanted to do more and Emil is teaching me. Not everyone is so against spending time with me, you know." You shot him a glance.

It was the first time that you had looked at him since you had been left alone.

"I married you, y/n. How can you possibly believe I don't want to spend time with you?" As desperation slipped through his words, Nikolai leaned towards you in his seat. As if he couldn't bear the distance between you anymore. But you knew it wasn't that. You and he had been distant for months now.

"Because that's what's happening, Nikolai," you clipped back and Nikolai had to refrain from wincing at your tone.

"It's not intentional, my love, I've just been busy." His tone softened. It was a poor excuse of an apology but it was sadly the truth.

"But when I say that I want to join or help you with it you strongly oppose?" Again, there was that suspicious implication in your words that Nikolai just couldn't stand. To think that you believed he'd ever cheat on you with another woman when he had done so much, taken so many risks, to be with you.

"It's not what you think, y/n." He insisted again but immediately realized he had said the wrong thing when he saw you leaning back into your chair shaking your head.

"I don't think anything, anymore. Do whatever you want. You do your thing and I'll do mine. I won't be a bother to you anymore." Holding up your hands, you gestured as you spoke.

A beat. Nikolai froze in his seat at what you were suggesting.

"You're never a bother to me. Never." He leaned even forwards in his chair, basically only propping on it now. The desperation was now clear in his voice. He reached out to you to try and take hold of your hands but you were too distant.

"I love you more than anything in this world and if you think that I'm going to let you go without a fight, you're sorely mistaken." The steel determination of his words caught you off guard. Nikolai was strong-headed, you knew that better than anyone else, but it had been a long while since that determination had been directed to you.

"You already did." It was barely a whisper. The sad truth about your reality, the downfall of your relationship. The wavering of your voice, the pain in your eyes were enough to tip Nikolai off the edge.

"Milaya, please."He fell onto his knees in front of you. Leaning forward he reached for your hands that he could now hold. "I'm sorry. I put you in a difficult position when I married you and I tried my best to protect you."

"I don't need protecting, Nikolai, especially if it's by pushing me away."

"I was keeping you away from danger and I know that you're strong and capable but I hate to think of you as the object of public slander." His eyes darted between yours, frantic, desperate to make you understand.

"I'm Grisha, Nikolai. It's nothing new to me," you pointed out but then it hit you.

"By difficult position, you meant a Grisha Queen, didn't you?" Your eyes hardened at the implications, your hands going slack in his hold. You would have pulled them away if Nikolai didn't tighten his hold.

"Please, do not think I'm regretting my choice or I think you're not worthy of the title because that's not true." Pulling your hands, he tried to get you closer to him. "I fear that there will be repercussions among the people." And there it was, at last, the truth.

"And among your ministers," you added remembering Emil's lessons on the people at court and their role.

You scoffed when he stayed silent. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought I was doing the right thing, my love."

"So Zoya can handle it and I can't?"

"For the millionth time," he groaned, "I don't care about Zoya."

"I only care about you and I know you can handle it. I just didn't want you to. You deserve happiness and peaceful life and I know it's impossible to have in this saints' forsaken country but I can at least try." His eyes lowered in shame and his confession sent a pang through your heart. You took a moment to take in what he said.

Never had you thought about the possibility of Nikolai's distance was a form of protection. You were a soldier of the Second Army, after all. But being a queen, especially a Grisha one, was a delicate thing.

It was the first time in history that something like this happened. Nikolai's worries were not unfounded since even after the destruction of the Fold, anti-Grisha movements were spreading fast.

It was sad to see the General's attempt of assuring safety for Grisha, provoking exactly the opposite thing.

"Oh, Kolya," returning his grip, you leaned towards him, "I just want a life with you by my side."

"As do I. I want you always and forever but above all, I want you safe. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, you know it right?"

"I just ask that you tell me the truth and let me play the role I've been given."

"It's not going to be easy. People at court-"

"I know. That's why I'm here. Emil's been teaching."

"Well, no more. I'm going to take care of it from now on."

"Is this a promise or a threat?"

"Rest assured my love, the difference between the two is almost nonexistent." He flashed you a smirk and you couldn't help but smile at him. Here it was, your beloved Nikolai.

"Things are going to change, aren't they?" you murmured softly as he gently rested his forehead against yours.

"We're going to show everyone what a "power couple" is." Here was his promise. Sealed with the gentlest nudging of his nose to yours. The action made you smile and your heart soar. You missed these little moments of intimacy with him.

One of his hands came to cradle your face as the other kept hold of your left hand. Your rings softly clicked as they touched. A form of reassurance.

"I love you, y/n."

"And I you, Kolya."

You were completely lost in your little bubble, even more so when Nikolai's lips finally met yours, that you had forgotten where you were. And that there was an embarrassed Kirigin outside the door waiting for the right moment to come in with tea.

#nikolai lanstov #nikolai lanstov x reader #nikolai lanstov x you #nikolai lanstov angst #nikolai lanstov fic #nikolai lanstov imagine #nikolai lanstov imagines #nikolai lanstov one shot #nikolai lanstov fluff #grishaverse #shadow and bone

[princeanxious]

New au idea just dropped: abducted by aliens + found family; familial anadukeceit addition with a twist:

tw: minor abducted by aliens, mentions of illegal scientific experimentation on a minor, general au theme following the rescues of ppl getting abducted, those are the big ones, lmk if i missed anything!

Virgil and Remus are normal adult humans that are part of a galactic crew that specializes in rescuing aliens that were abducted for black market trade and experimentation purposes and rehabilitating them

Janus is a young teenage human who'd been abducted and experiemented on for two years before his rescue, leaving him half-covered in abnormally healthy scales, sharp fangs and coldblooded-like qualities, and without a way to talk like he used to.(he can growl and hiss and whine ect., but they mostly ruined his ability to mimick sounds without it being painful and thus he cannot actually try to speak without pain.) He's not seen another live human in years, and is way too young to know how to cope with it, so he doesn't trust anything anymore and often comes off as extremely violent because he doesn't know whats a threat and what isnt, and isnt honestly sure hes not experiencing a vivid nightmare half the time.

Cue this team getting a report from a different rescue group about requesting help for a specific rescue from their mostly human rescue team, this time its about a small earth-like dealthworlder that had been discovered and rescued as one of the few surviving aliens from an illegal testing facility.

Report lists it as extremely volitile and hostile, but only when provoked(see: any attempt to interact with it). If left alone, it simply cowers in a corner and cries. There have been efforts to get it to eat that have only been semi successful due to the poor thing seemingly not being able to digest certain foods, and they worry it will simply die of starvation, or loneliness, if they cant get it's condition stable.

The reason theyre requesting Virgil's team is because the original rescue has never seen this kind of alien before, but it looks mostly human and thats the assumption. Humans are known to have high-packbonding instincts, and that persistence for kinship is pretty much this rescue's last hope.

To the humans, its a bit of a far leap seeing as they arent provided with any clear pictures of the thing, but its their job and theyre getting paid to do it, might as well try.

They.. They arent prepared to arrive to the sight of a child. Well, sort of child. A teenager? Whose regardless way too thin and quite too small to look anything but vastly unhealthy.

From his one side of his ribs curled up all the way around one side of his face and down that arm are rich yellow scales, that perhaps look like the healthiest part of him.

He wears a blindfold from his previous containment, and word has it the first alien to try and take it off was met with the worst lash-out yet and was still in recovery. They had kept it on him because he wont let anyone near take it off. It keeps him calm to be sightless, and its unfortunately all they can do to keep him that way.

And well, while Remus has always been the best at taming some of the wilyest deathworld creatures, its actually Virgil who has skill in taming those few labeled 'deadly.'

He sees this 'dangerous' behavior for what it really is.

Fear.

This is a child who is scared, terrified, and lashing out at anything that doesn't feel safe.

So you can imagine the brief uptic in nervous alien chatter from the main observation room when Virgil decides to walk straight into the containment room with no gear, no food, nothing but himself and his jacket.

Its a little jarring to hear a teenager hiss angrily at you, but Virgil used to Be That Teenager, so he doesn't really react. And he can see it when he speaks, using a soft and comforting voice, the way this kid freezes at being spoken to. In a langauge he understands.

"Hey buddy."

There's an immediate growl of uncertainty, pressing himself further away. Disbelief. It cant be, right? It's been 2 years since hes been in a room with another living human, there's no way.

..Right?

"Cmon now, none of that. It's just me here right now. My names Virgil."

He doesn't really want to believe it, that hes hearing another human. But he cant help the instinctual need to turn and hide the scales, the thing that makes him a freak of nature, no human would want him after what had been done to him.

Its a slow back and forth, really. Virgil asking a mundane question and getting some cautious hiss or growl or click in reply. But slowly, ever so slowly, the boy is relaxing.

"Can I reach my hand out? I wont touch you, okay? I want you to reach out too, if you're okay with that. We can move at your pace, okay?"

And maybe he gets a slightly petulant whine, but theres no aggression. Just. stress.

He holds his hand out, palm down, and waits. And is rewarded with an extrsmely shaky hand reaching out and grasping his own with a little fumbling. And then theres a pause, where the boy is taking thw time to register the hand.

Human.

And then the boy is all but flinging himself forward, blindly reaching out with a sob. Maybe some aliens in the observation room tense, but the humans in the room remain completely calm.

And now Virgil has a lap full of entirely too distraught child and no say in the matter, but thats fine. Hes content to just hold the poor thing and let the kid cry it out, god knows he needed this.

They learn this kids name, Janus, through some shake tracing of fingers on skin, then pen to paper. He's barely 16, and was abducted at age 14.

They learn one eye had been tampered with as well to match the scales, but all that was successful was a color change to yellow. It fortunately affects Janus's sight very little, except when hes tired and finds himself with migraines from his eyes being tired.

Janus is a special case, because he cant go back home, not with the things hes seen and experienced, as the galactic rescue is still a bit of a secret to earth. But hes a minor, so he cant very well join the rescue yet, even if he wanted to.

So, Virgil and Remus adopt him. Janus is more than happy about it, despite his struggles to show it.

They have a number of humans and humanoids on their team, one of which is a therapist named Emile(human), and another who is their navigator and unofficial translator named Remy(half-human).

Janus p much gets unofficially adopted by them as well, standing in as the cool uncles most likely, but through them he learns to deal with his trauma, and gets to learn how to communicate via galactic hand-sign language.

Sometimes a family can be a Team Rescue Group Leader, his Danger Tamer Chaotic Boyfriend, and their Half Danger-Noodle Half-Sassy Human Son, and two fun uncles who collectively know how to heal trauma and 47 different ways to say 'fuck you' in alien.

#sanders sides #anxceitmus #familial dukexiety #familial anxceit #anxceit #luka writes #luka's aus #virgil sanders #remus sanders #janus sanders