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#which i like to cry about sometimes
butchviking · 10 months
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i hate being a mentally ill adult actually. i hate that there’s always groceries to be bought and housekeeping to do and work in the morning i hate that we have no space to feel it all i hate that we walk around acting normal. there are so many people i know who are clearly deeply unhappy with their lives and we make silly little jokes that allude to it but sometimes i want to grab them by the shoulders and scream ‘i know you are miserable!! we can’t keep living like this!! this is why people break!!’ im sick of this drudgerous apathy i want us all to be dramatic like when we were teenagers i want us to sob together and scream bloody murder at each other and tell each other we want to kill ourselves not as a funny post-ironic joke but because we all feel like that sometimes!! i want us to get fucked up on god knows what til we can’t open our eyes i want us to take care of each other instead of always taking care of ourselves i want us to be vulnerable i want us to hold each others hands in the ambulance!!
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wiseatom · 3 months
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sometimes i’m like maybe i’m being dramatic maybe i’m not autistic and then i will Live My Life and say oh yeah lol.
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a-s-levynn · 7 months
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#sleep token#here is a thing#there are certain moments when Vessel looks.. no he rather feels.. small#i mean his.. aura? presence? but not in the non-captivating way but as in an emotionally vulnerable way#i don't really have the words to describe this but just like on this picture#bear with me for a minute because this is either gonna sound completely unhinged or make some sort of sense#it's probably just me having a little more time on my hand than i should and just want to see things but..#sometimes he feels so present in a here-i-am as-i-am take-me-as-you-will this-is-all-i-am i-can't-give-more-nor-less it's-just-me sorta way#he feels so human in the rawest sense possible and yet so deep in character maybe even more so than when he creatures or teefs and all#like.. he is just vessel in it's simplicity and without the 'divine' if you will.. simply just vessel#in his barest of existance#a shadow of someone who used to be but not quite anymore#he is in pieces and it is willingly laid bare under the mask and all that bodypaint oh so clear to see for anyone#and that is not the outstreched hand of you-are-not-alone but the outstreched soul that cries you-can-find-yourself-in-me#and that is what i find so heartbreaking about him#this kind if raw openness because the lore says vessel is a conduit for sleep#for us vessel (and the the others) is the conduit of our emotions#and he is there somewhere inbetween the truths#just him a simple human being who sometimes seems to wish not to be human which makes him more human than anything#and that is what i can't describe better than 'sometimes he feels small' and at time even maybe makes me cry a little
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itspileofgoodthings · 7 months
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one time my mom was talking about something, I don’t remember what, and she said “have you ever known the poverty of having nothing to say?” and when I say nothing has ever punctured my heart quite like that statement
#I don’t even fully know why. also I don’t think she even meant it how I took it#but there is just some part of me that does believe that that is the greatest poverty#when there are no words in your mind or heart. no phrases—nothing to rely on or fall back on#and you just have to struggle with the human condition and be able to express none of it#and I know that not everyone uses words like I do or relies on them that way but people need some words. they need something#this is why a) I never make fun of those Instagram accounts that are all cheesy inspirational quotes or whatever because people are trying#they are REACHING#also b) that’s why villains who are wordlessly violently destructive make me cry#because it’s just like—-yeah I can understand turning to violence if I didn’t have expression#if I couldn’t get anything out#also also this is not related but I watched some movie or tv show the other day (and I cannot for the life of me remember which one it was)#but there was this couple on a date and the girl asks him to complete all these proverbs after she gives him the first half#because ‘a man who knows his proverbs can’t be all bad’ and it shook. Me. To. My. CORE.#also also!! this is why I teach! it’s the heart of it for me!! And why I make them memorize poetry. like.#and put quotes on the board every day. like. You will have words and images in your mind and your heart from my class if I have anything#to say about it#anyway sometimes my mom says things and casually devastates me#and I think (I think) she was just talking about the poverty of having no news because nothing is going on#and so you have nothing to share with someone. and she was talking about my Grandma and how sometimes she was just so sullen and quiet#but it’s just because there was nothing to say#anyway anyway anyway that is also why the one time on the phone my grandma said who has known the mind of the Lord —shook me so much#because she never really said anything. words were not her thing and she never quoted anything#and suddenly her saying this line of scripture that said more than any words I’d ever said —one of the defining moments of my life#tbh. anyway this is very long I’m sorry. I have woken up this morning crying about this. idk.
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averlym · 6 months
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some very very quick costume shorthands!
#&juliet#had the absolute luck of watching this live the other night and it was. truly amazing!!! aaah#rough character designs for the younger leads (excluding like the Grown adult duos..) because?? idk#this is how it always starts. once the character designs start getting simplified like this that's when it all begins#which is hmmm timing but i really can't shut up about this musical it was so so fun. absolute vibes and energy#made me laugh and cry and was such an Experience. i adore them all but may specifically made me sob at some parts dfjkldfh#lots of thoughts! but one of the favs is how they wrote it so the existing songs and actions fit so well.#like in a rhyming bit they had frankie accept a drink and then the song was like ''drink in hand'' and i was all !!!!!!#also maybe it's local censorship? but there wasn't the kisses.. they replaced it w kissing hands and then holding hands#which is like a cute nod to the ''hand to hand holy palmers kiss' or smth but also maybe two guys doing that would not have made it past :/#oh my god i. the way rnj parallels the shakespeare duo... whdskjfhgh. may + not being a Girl kdjhgf. frankie and may. aaagh.#angelique being so so badass. i . the speech about Gender by anne and the Proposal by angelique both made the whole theatre cheer love that#also rotating stage lives in my mind rent free i ADORE the set holy moly.. also also the actors were so good. also the Projections.#also the music and costumes and special effects and aerial moments. and the ensemble. and the choreo#also the cast is so talented. and pretty. and the whole confidence part vs the vulnerability of some bits... whshjfgjkl. hhh#im just listing stuff now but it was so vibes. what an experience ever. it's also shot me directly into 14-years-old again so#spent the morning alone vibing to the soundtrack intensely... i just... sometimes things hold special places in your heart idk!!!#i don't know what to do with these designs though... like the show is such a lovely Spectacle but also idk where to branch out by myself no#there's so much to Absorb again and again. i get the feeling any true work from this i would do in a form of an animatic though.. oops#tldr? 1. &juliet very good just as itself 2. we have History 3. i got to see it live which always propels me into bonkers over musicals!#so so rough but i needed to get smth out and . whatever. an art blog is an art blog. back to hiatus now i think#<reminder to myself: this is essentially an artchive.. there's no quality control if you don't want it! have fun!! ily>
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aheathen-conceivably · 2 months
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Is this an Antoine aging gracefully post or a sim style evolution appreciation moment? Both? Both is good 😌
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I don't really go here, but all the members in The Amazing Digital Circus are in a polyamorous relationship methinks
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thebirdandhersong · 2 months
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you guys God is so good and life is so surprising…… the barista gave me a free chunk of lemon loaf (I LOVE lemon loaf) today did I mention for FREE…. I saw an awkward looking young boy walking to his car from the florist with a little bouquet of pink flowers in hand for his girl……. there's this professor from Nanaimo who translates Ancient Greek stuff for free and I found his translation of The Iliad online….. the latest articles on Ekstasis are SO good and they made my heart so full after two hours of drudgery (class)..... I read this poem called Let God Become the Quiet in All Things and it twisted my heart a bit..... had Rocky Road ice cream with an unsettling amount of caramel and chocolate syrup last night before bed....... and in two hours and a bit, I shall be at my friend's house singing hymns with her and her other friend at our first English-lit-girls-choral-enthusiasts meeting......... everything is going to be fine, I think :)
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ganondoodle · 1 year
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a wild assortement of comic wip screenshots and a random doodle that i posted to twitter but not here
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(this doodle here is of Raal (aka demise before he became a deity) but whatever happens here isnt anything 'canon', i just randomly doodled him to try a loosen up my painting style bc when i work on the comic i tend to concentrate too much of rendering it perfectly and i dont like that)
#ganondoodles#doodles#art#i am so very tired#too tired for tags#btw i do love and read every ask i get but damn i just dont have the energy to reply to most#and i feel so guilty#i wish i could make a warning show up when someone wants to send me an ask#that just says -yo i love and cherish and reread all asks but unfortunately have zero energy to reply but chances are it made me cry-#given the asks isnt mean spirited or straight up bots#which my impsoter brain sometimes still tries to make me think#like either woo look at all those people LYING to your face#but i have grown alot since those days and now its mostly just#so look what a nice and lovely absolutely beautiful ask this person send you and you disrespectful fool are not answering it shame upon you#thats most likely why i have been getting less and less and man i feel so bad#like when its asks about drawing advice i either dont know what to say bc i dont have any idea what im doing eihter#or bc i plan a giant response with a big ass illustrated tutorial even tho i know i neither got the time or energy for it#but still cant answer then bc wait you wanted to make a tutorial you cant answer it just like that#and when its a super nice compliment about my art i just#dont know how to express my gratitude and silently reread it time and time again never answering it bc then it would be gone from the inbox#;__;#alright falling asleep brain better not have written sth i will regret reading tomorrow#i think this is the longest tags i put on a completely unrelated post of mine#if you have read all these tags send me an ask only containing the name of your fav fruit and i will make you a little pixel sprite of it
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puppyeared · 4 months
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if you're walking at 5mph, but your feet are on sideways, and the sky turns green at 2:53, and Keanu Reeves has been sent to Neptune, what's your favorite video game
i cant walk 5mph in the first place, im only 5'4 and i have to walk like marvin the fucking martian everywhere i go
if my feet were on sideways i would still manage to get my shoes on wrong because i cant tell my left from my right
if the sky turns green that means every single car on the road is allowed to go at the same time
keanu reeves cant be sent to neptune with an expired passport
my favorite videogame MIGHT be professor layton and the diabolical box just because ive never been able to get over the ending, but mario galaxy and deltarune also come to mind
#this was very fun to answer thank u :o) ive always loved multiple choice questions#maybe if i had more multiple choice in my life id be able to get things done faster just closing my eyes and hoping for the best#its amazing that i dont own a magic eight ball. it would do wonders for my natural indecision and superstition#also to be fair ive only played the first two layton games even though i have the 3rd and 4th games on my cracked cartridge#BUT thats because my copy of unwound future is ass and it freezes on the opening cutscene so i cant even play it. sigh#maybe i should consider getting the mobile remastered versions but im lazy and i dont even know if i have enough storage space#there should be enough space on my ipad though so maybe. or ill back up some files to make room idk#i would have also answered undertale bc i had a huge undertale phase when it came out but im gonna be honest. ive never actually played it#im actually wondering if i should buy a copy for myself for xmas using grays steam account#the only thing im worried about is my motor skills are bad with keyboard and im dreading the asgore fight bc i heard its hard#but ive also never watched a full playthru so i feel like id be going into the game blind which sounds exciting. and ill prbably cry a lot#besides that ive been replaying mario galaxy with gray and i forgot how good the game is.. i love the ambience and game mechanics#although the races are so nerve wracking and i hate the controls sometimes. did u know i died on loopdeloop galaxy TWELVE FUCKING TIMES#also deltarune because i love EVERYTHING abt it i love the lore i love SUSIE i love the whole thing kris has going on#yapping#ask
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moe-broey · 2 days
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Three of them
#fire emblem#feh#DIRECTLY INSPIRED by how sometimes i like to cheat in heroes journey and bring duo al/sharena LMFAOO#two of them and some other guy. idk when it happened it just integrated here.#world is a fuck born to tag along. this applies to BOTH moe and sharena i think.#it is so funny and so important to me actually that 'sometimes there's a third one' applies to both of them#anyways please please PLEASE read into the characterization in the poses bc i'm going to throw up. and cry#like fuck i'll do it for you actually LMFAO like moe is just silly. nosferatu ass. why do you sleep like that.#it doesn't like being touched a whole lot though. it's extremely picky about it. it's easier to hold a stuffed animal instead.#alfonse has a higher tolerance for touch but it's still situational. but when he touches he clings.#also. one hand gripping the plush goat ear. an acknowledgement of moe's boundaries.#and the other hand. lightly subconsciously holding on to a tuft of sharena's hair.#sharena has grown out of being super cuddly w alfonse but she will take any and every opportunity to 'steal body warmth'#she also directly mirrors him.#also i think whenever she shares a bed/sleeping area w someone she's a bed hog. she is pushing you off that thang#if you're not Willing to be smooshed by her. also. which is why alfonse is acting as a barrier here too LMFAO#like it's just a tiny doodle esp cause i didn't have the energy to do more but it made me ache so bad#that i threw up and exploded and died. badly.#fe alfonse#sharena#moe tag#summoner oc#my art
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leejeann · 4 months
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Danny Motta started watching Link Click and the name sounded familiar and it looked super interesting in his reaction vid, so now I've started watching Link Click. Just finished episode 5, actually cried, it's going great so far lmao
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fairytale-lights · 4 months
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People love to write fics with injured or upset characters whining or whimpering and it gives me such awful secondhand embarrassment I can't keep reading them if I see that
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azumasoroshi · 1 year
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the shizu-chan song
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just discovered the shizu-chan song by none other than johnny yong bosch. help me
id transcribe if i didnt have a final in 10 hours. maybe when i get back
oh nvm someone already wrote them out
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this has similar energy as the bro duet song but like. in reverse bgskjdghjkgsd the no homo is for real
plus an animatic version and amv version because holy hell this is old
#i hear there's another shizuo song by johnny yong bosch according to the comments from 2017 but ill have to wait until yt recommends me it#anyway this makes me want to make a bro duet animatic for shizaya#which would be hilarious because. they're not bros#the ship dynamic of 'two guy best friends who maybe kiss sometimes' is very good but very not shizaya#so the spontaneous love confessions just come out of fucking nowhere during one of their fights#it would be really funny. trust#and probably better than the angst and self-denial festival i would make animating the actual shizu-chan song#i can already see the half-smiling-to-himself half-looks-like-he's-about-to-cry pining semi-regretful izaya face at the last shizu-chan#also. izaya guitar player headcanon hello#if someone can make an artist hobbyist izaya au i can make a guitar hobbyist izaya au#tbh izaya's more spontaneous and i feel like he wouldnt like all the hard work and practice time that goes into learning an instrument#like his main hobbies like parkour and switchblade throwing are stuff he gets to put into practice all the time and are more 'useful'#but instrument practice it's just him and his thoughts and callused hands for hours at a time#feel like he'd get frustrated pretty easily in that way#anyway wouldnt it be hot if izaya played the guitar LMFAOO fuck my characterization and let that man play fingerstyle#izaya playing piano is a somewhat popular headcanon anyway#god i have the worst habit of putting the entirety of my post into the tags. must be the incorrect lov joke bits spilling over#shizaya#shizuo heiwajima#izaya orihara#durarara#Youtube
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twelverriver · 5 months
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there's something just so humiliating about having adhd to me, because someone asks you do a simple thing and you're faced with a) the challenge to remember it b) the challenge to actually do it c) the humiliation and self-loathing if you can't do a) and/or b).
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sysig · 3 months
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Handplates and haircut and more Handplates after that (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Handplates#Sans#Phases of reading Handplates: Haircut edition#Lol#Started rereading before the haircut and finished after!#It took about four days - same as my original run on reading Vargas! Huh - which was only one over my projection#I say ''about'' because I did take a fifth day and catch up on all the solo Handplates images as well#All the ones in the main gallery were read along with the main comics tho lol they're important context!#Really I just couldn't read Gaster's ''tear a paper perfectly in half'' without the followup lol#I am planning a full reread sometime in the future but probably not for a while lol - need to simmer#But I know there's even more context than just the DA galleries! Like the QnAs!! Wanna read Everything in order lol#But for now I'm just happy to have finally read the whole main comic (and all the solo pieces on DA lol)#It really is a beautiful piece of work ♥ More context is not the only reason I want to reread!#I have a few things in my notes I wrote for my future self to look out for on rereads lol#Want to study more! Look at the visual language ♥ There's just so many lovely things#Oh yeah! Does anyone remember my tears rating system? X/5 💧?#Well Handplates scores at 💧💧💧💧! :D A very good crying score!#Several scenes that reliably make me cry <3 Yes I have gone back and cried multiple times to them lol#It's important data! <Said not at all similarly to any particular scientist at all (lol)#I did actually find myself empathizing with Gaster wanting to study Papyrus' and Sans' glitch abilities - and thinking about intent to harm#The data collection isn't the problem it's all the everything about how and why he was collecting the data in the first place#Being someone who also collects data as a way to make sense of and not be overwhelmed by - well anything and everything lol#Sans calling him out was really interesting to me! Obviously he deserves to be called out lol but That Particular Action wasn't The Problem#Now if he could just use his coping mechanism in a positive helpful way lol#Anyway lol the images in the post that I'm rambling on pfft - as I mentioned I broke out my colour cube :)#Both of them but I've only really been playing with my 2x2 - I reviewed my notes and remembered!#The haircut really does feel nice ahh <3 I just feel more me in short hair :)#And I really did hurt my hand from drawing too much lol I guess three full pages in one day was asking a lot
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