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am-i-the-asshole-official · 6 months

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AITA for not saying goodbye to my husband’s friends from childhood?

I (24F) am a white American, my husband (25M) is a black immigrant from a country in the Caribbean. Where we live, there aren’t many people from his country and he has few opportunities to speak his native language. But a family friend from his childhood came here recently and he invited the friend over for dinner. The friend and his wife said they’d come over a few days in advance and I was excited and made plans for dinner, but the day of, they canceled. I was a little annoyed because I already had all the food and everything but I was like “ok whatever.”

Well the following Saturday, I was stressed about work and stuff and in a bad mood, and was looking forward to catching up on a show I liked. When I finally sat down to watch, my husband said his friends who canceled the week before were going to be here in an hour and asked me to clean up. I was annoyed bc they canceled when I was planning on them and rescheduled last min when I wasn’t planning on hosting or spending the evening with anyone, but I helped clean up and prepare. They got here, and I tried to be a good host, but I admit while I wasn’t rude, my attitude wasn’t super warm and friendly. They didn’t want dinner so we offered juice and stuff. I tried to be present in the conversations but 1) I’m very shy and 2) they were talking about 60-40 their native language to English, so I didn’t know what was going on more than half the time. (I do love that language and am trying to learn on DuoLingo but it’s hard. I’m also glad he has people to talk it with, it just leaves me unable to participate much). Also, tbh most of the conversation was suggestive jokes and joking about each other’s sex lives and as an ace person I don’t really feel comfortable with that kind of conversation particularly with people I don’t know very well. So I kinda just zoned out, and I kind of have an RBF so I guess I looked not happy to be there. Anyway, we watched a James Bond movie I wasn’t interested in so I was on my phone a lot, then I went upstairs to get ready for bed because it was almost midnight and I was tired.

After I was ready for bed, I wanted to say goodnight to the friends, however one of them had to record a video for an online class and send it in before the deadline in like an hour. So he got on the computer and went into the stairwell and his wife got on her phone and went to the kitchen so they could record the conversation and submit it. Which meant I was stuck upstairs (unless I wanted to pass the guy in the stairwell and show up on his video) and I’d have to wait for them to finish recording the call before I could go to bed. Well, I was tired so I just lay in bed and ended up falling asleep. Around the 12:45, my husband woke me up by coming into the room and turning on the light to give the friends a tour of the house and I grumpily growled “I’m asleep! Turn off the light!”

The next morning, my husband was livid at me. He said the way I treated them was horrible and rude, I wasn’t paying attention during the movie, I didn’t even say goodbye (which greetings and goodbyes are a big deal in his culture), I growled at them when they came into the room for the tour, I was “acting like a bitch” to them the whole night, and he felt like he invited them to his house only for me to act racist and like I’m better than them. I feel terrible that my actions could be perceived that way when in reality I was just tired, shy, a little grouchy because these plans were sprung on me last minute, and out of the loop (because I didn’t understand a majority of the conversation). But I think the whole cancelation and then last minute rescheduling and expecting me to be a good, present host late into the night wasn’t cool. If it had been last week, I would’ve been prepared with dinner and also mentally, since I’d be planning on hosting people. Also would’ve been nice to be made aware beforehand that we would be entertaining guests until 1 AM, so I could be planning on it.

So AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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1eoness · 11 months

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hi! could i request something fluffy? maybe leon spoiling reader with some meal, or cuddles? thanks! ❤️

mentioning meals I AM THE REMINDER TO GO GET A SNACK AND REJUVENATE

and yes ofc i love writing fluffy fluffy hehehehe (im kind of uncreative rn so sorry). btw i'm writing this in the same format as the other one but if you want it to be more structured and narrative just uh tell me LOL

content : fluffy leon kennedy x gender neutral!reader (it's written in second person though). pet names lol

synopsis : leon wants to spoil you so he's feeding you and providing you with an army's ware of cuddles >:)

-food is fuel and leon is a fucking engine

-tbh i hc that leon has a big appetite for sweet stuff,,,, i'm sure a big collective of ppl agree bc he's so squishy squishy [what the fuck am i saying idk]

-anyway enough about me gushing on leon.

-YOU. when will you ever take the time to let him spoil you? are you trying to avoid him?:((

-leon is part kidding. he's not mad ofc but sometimes he can't help but get a tiny bit worried about you sometimes.

-see, leon is a firm believer that a person cannot come to their best senses unless their basic/psychological needs are fulfilled. that includes things like eating, or affection—because when your body senses that you're lacking in something, it will use your brain power to signal you that you need to eat or be smothered with affection! hence you can end up feeling burnt out if u dont pay attention to ur love vitals!! >:(

-leon's mindset will always be applied on you because you're his second heart, you're his tough rock and you need to be taken care of!!

-HE KNOWS WHAT YOU'RE THINKING "affection? that's absurd people can still learn attentively and work efficiently without having to be coddled >:(" while yes in a sense its true—but sometimes you just don't realize that what you need is some time to be vulnerable and intimate, which can explain why your emotions feel a lot more heightened recently than usual (which he notices by the way). you've been tense for a while, and leon reasons that you can't just 'move on' from being overwhelmed with work stress and whatnot—you have to relieve it! but enough about theory.

-your hunger for food or affection is like a 7th sense to leon to be honest. while it's not an accurate intuition everytime, he's bound to think of you once every like two minutes.

-leon actually has very clear and high critical thinking skills. this means he is able to remember a lot of things about you even if he only notices them or you mention it once: this includes your comfort drink, where you like to be touched, hell maybe even the MBTI of your favorite character. and he ESPECIALLY knows what food you like. pad thai, sushi, oxtail, jerk chicken, cake, boba, YOU NAME IT HE KNOWS IF YOU LOVE IT OR NOT

-so when it actually came to asking you what you wanted, he'd send a text saying he's downtown and asking you 'what would you like, baby?'. he's careful with his words and doesn't say "do you want me to get you something on the way?" because it means he's giving you a choice >:( when the whole point is to spoil you because you deserve it.

-and if you answer with something vague like 'anything' HE DOESN'T MAKE YOU SPEAK FURTHER he'll just buy what he knows u like and keep the rest in the fridge if you dont wanna eat it :3 well that's what they're for, right?

"oh, my sweet.." his voice was quaint at the sight of you. leon tried his best to be silent when he entered the room, not wanting to sound like he was pitying you, but seeing you half-covered with comforters, mildly upset and your mind in a frazzle has his heart dropping a bit. you were probably thinking about so many things: meeting some deadlines, picking up this and that from the store, computing this... but you just couldn't organize your thoughts. but that's why leon was here.

your head moved to swivel his direction. "leon.." you smile at him weakly.

it was cold in the city tonight. leon places a hefty white plastic bag of your favorite on the nearby surface before he sits down in front of you from the edge of your bed. he takes the brief second of studying his lover's face before he pulls you into a comforting and warm hug. he can't help but pat the back of his sweet baby's head down, and you feel his lips barely nuzzle onto your ear as he mutters. "y're so good to me, baby. you know that?" leon reminds you before kissing the side of your head shortly. you tried to reciprocate it by giving him a nimble kiss on his cheek, which he gratefully accepts with an eager beam on his lips.

his hands slide down your arms in a soft stroke as he lets go of you gently. the rustling of the bed's layers being heard as leon moves a bit to reach for the hefty boxes of food, which he opens for you once he gives you take your utensil/s. leon's happy seeing you eat. it's a form of reassurance to him personally witnessing you getting the fill you deserve after a whole few days of being so busy and rushing everywhere. it's a calming sense to him as you both soak in comfortable silence while he watches you eat. he was caring less that it's 2 in the morning and caring more about the way the color on your face slowly vibrates back onto your features. you seem less tired, just by a tad percentage. it makes him smile to himself knowing he was able to take care of you. " 'm finished." you mumbled with a hum, feeling a little full and having to lie down. fullness makes you sleepy (and leon knows that!) so he has a subtle, cheeky little grin as he leans over and collects your legs with one arm, pulling you to make you lie on your back. he crawls over to lie down next to you, once again pulling you close to him while he wraps his arms around you— one patting and planted gently on your back while the other cradles your head close to his heart. just where you belong... "you tired, baby?" leon asked shortly and your little nod sufficed. his cheek gently rests against the side of the crown of your head. his touch is soft, it's sweet as he rubs and scratches down your back gently. he gently scruffles at your scalp with his other hand's fingertips, and the motions will send you to a hopefully revitalizing sleep ♡. he places a kiss on the top of your head, like a ribbon keeping its gift from falling apart :( he knows at this moment maybe you're thinking you don't deserve him. but that's so far from the truth.

#leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #re2remake leon #re4remake leon #leon x reader #leon x reader fluff #this is also super bad n rash im sorry ill try to edit it later on

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zeltqz · 7 months

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niyaaaa do u have any tips for people who wanna get into fic writing? 👀

i don’t really get how the whole posting format for fics works on here tbh 😭 and like your info area it’s so cool

YEAH OFC!! btw dm me your username so i can follow and support you <3

tip 1- the posting format isnt that hard to get used to actually its just you create a tumblr text post and then copy and paste your fic onto it, add the tags and stuff then post it. if you want to add banners, headers and stuff to make it look better then go ahead, just add images to the text post

tip 2- the info area is the same as above, just add pictures of your choice etc to the text post, add your information, name, age, fav things etc and then to link posts to your post, highlight where u want the link to go, then copy the link of the post u want linked then press the hyperlink that looks like two chains linked together when you highlight the text if that makes sense? sounds like a lot but its rlly not i promise haha

tip 3- always type your fics on other apps like word or google docs since they have an auto save feature!! i dont reccomend typing your fics on tumblr since one if the app crashes, it doesn't automatically save your work so everything you wrote will get deleted (some versions of tumblr do have autosave, my laptop has it but my phone and iPad doesn't, so i dont rely on it)

tip 4- idk if you want tips on actual fic writing or just how to get your fics onto tumblr but ill help you with that anyway. with me when i write fics i always imagine it out in my head. theres some of my fics where i just went with the flow and wrote wgatever came to mind and those are the fics i hate the most because they dont rlly make sense to me. theyre always so random and it just seems rushed and bad.

i picture my fics like a scene in my head and whatever i want the character to do, think, say or feel i write that shit down asap. i use other online sources to help get more descriptive like the emotion theasurus <- honestly one of my favourite things to use ever, they have so much body language to use for every emotion in the damn book

dialogue is also something i find difficult. i've improved i personally feel like but its still hard for me especially if im writing a new character. i never want to make the character seem OOC so i do lots of research before hand. i normally use the wiki to read up on a characters personality.

for example i'll use ran for this since he's like 99% of my account lmao. in the wiki, he's described as "naturally whimsical toward others which makes him inscrutable" though ran doesnt have many scenes in the manga (which i hate bc i love him sm) its impossible to actually write him down to a tee so i use that naturally whimsical description to make him playful, charismatic, carefree etc, going off what little information i have with him.

getting a characters personality down is what can make or break a dialogue. for me when im reading a fic of a character and their dialogue is so OOC it puts me off and i dont even wanna read. so i apply my same fic icks to myself and think if I don't like seeing this and that in a fic, why would I incorporate those in my fics and have ppl get put off it if they have the same fic icks as me?

hope that makes sense!!

tip 5- dont rush yourself at all. i used to rush a few of my fics and i just ended up hating it so much after and fought bck the urge to delete them so many times but then i'd see people's comments and realise i was being too harsh on myself. i'd keep them up but i'd just hate seeing them get attention.

rushing only makes you hate your work and the quality of your work will decline if you are not in the right headspace.

thats also why i have the don't rush me thing in my rules because not only is it annoying to see people constantly asking for updates, it also makes me mad because i know i'll just put out a piece of garbage if i did rush.

also another tip don't give yourself deadlines!! if you know your writing consistency can be a little sloppy, don't tell your followers that you're going to upload every so and so day. if something happens and you miss the deadline, you'll feel bad and rush something out and most times out of ten, a rushed fic doesn't do well. so take your time and don't rush.

tip 6- dont listen to what other people say or feel obligated to write something you don't wanna. establish your boundaries!! for example, from day one i started this blog i said im accepting requests but i will not write anything to do with non-con, incest or minors. i made sure that was out there so i wouldn't feel uncomforable writing anything i wasn't comfy with.

there are people on this app that may like your writing and request you to write something for them. you are not obligated to write anything for anyone! don't feel like you have to just because they asked nicely.

if you want to accept requests you can im not saying you shouldn't, im saying don't feel like you have to. you always have a choice. its your blog.

tip 7- remember this isn't a job. you're allowed to take breaks, allowed to have a personal life. don't feel like you need to be updating every day. i used to think i was obligated to be uploading consistently at least every week because i was obsesssed with engagement and seeing peoples comments and was scared if i took a break ppl will unfollow. now i honestly don't care. i'm not active as much as i used to because of school and that's fine! if ppl want to leave, let them. don't feel like you're forced to keep being active in order to keep your follower count stable.

tip 8- this app can get really toxic sometimes. luckily enough i've only had one toxic anon in my inbox and i've been on this app for a year. some people have so many, some ppl get harrassed etc. if that happens to you just be prepared since there's no actual way to find out who's behind anons. you can turn off your anon options which means if ppl want to inbox you something then their account will be showing. some people arent comfortable with that and that's fine! i keep mine on because i want people to feel comfortable on my page.

just remember though if you ever feel like this app is getting overwhelming take breaks! for the sake of your mental health take breaks. i know so many writers on here that took breaks and came back healthier and stronger.

i feel like this tip goes for social media in general. as much as i love social media im aware how unhealthy it is. breaks are so important for you. remember that.

i can't think of anymore tips right now but if i have some more i will edit the post and add it on.

if u have anymore questions about the tumblr posting format dm me and ill help you out :))

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bronanlynch · 2 years

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back at it again ranking aa4 lawyers based on how terrible I think they would be to work for if you were their file clerk. I’ve basically known how this was going to go since 4-2 but it still took over two weeks after finishing the game to make this post. I have a normal amount of thoughts & feelings I promise

phoenix: I was gonna say that since he’s not practicing he doesn’t need a file clerk anyway but actually I do think reforming the legal system takes quite a bit of paperwork and he could probably use a hand. still would absolutely not work for him tho. I prefer being compensated for my labor, especially if my boss is always either mysteriously absent or spouting cryptic bullshit. 0/10. not even a pity point this time. rip apollo

apollo: would be fine if he weren’t working for phoenix tbh. like if he had his own office and a slightly more well-established career I would absolutely work for him. he’s considerate, he seems horrified by the state of the WAA which is a green flag Imo, and he’s just. a decent guy and a good lawyer. also he had that line abt enjoying tedious procedure so I think we would get along, and more importantly, that tells me that he would be reasonably neat with his own files and not make my job more difficult either accidentally or on purpose. 7/10 would befriend him on l*nkedin just in case he ever starts his own firm

payne: look, the vibes aren’t great and I’m running out of jokes abt this guy. I will say that I think it’s incredibly funny how thoroughly he gets ignored in his own trial and being able to make fun of your boss with your coworkers (which you would have bc there’s no way there’s just one file clerk for the entire prosecutor’s office, y’know?) is a very important aspect of surviving a shitty workplace so. there’s that. 3/10, could survive it by mocking him but not ideal

klavier: he doesn’t even have a desk. he’s working on at least 3 cases at once but he keeps his cds and his guitars nicer and neater than his books or his case files. there are papers all over his floor and falling out of his filing cabinet. his one advantage over the real attorney I worked with who had an office approximately that messy is that at least klavier probably knows exactly where everything is himself, which is great for him but not especially helpful to the poor beleaguered file clerk trying to get his files updated as quickly as possible so they can escape his office with minimal hearing damage. 6/10, at least he’s like. friendly

kristoph: the best-case situation here is that you work for him for maybe a few years, overlapping with the beginning of apollo’s career as his assistant, because then you have the bonus of also having apollo as a coworker (see above), and then you leave for normal reasons, get him to give you a good reference for your next job while he’s still widely respected, and when you read abt the events of 4-1 in the news a few months later you go “damn that’s wild” and move on with your life

ok. listen. listen. obviously a boss who has committed murder is not ideal, for several obvious reasons including that murder is bad and also that if your boss goes to jail and his law firm closes you no longer have a job (rip apollo). but at least you could probably get unemployment for that, since it’s not your fault you don’t have a job anymore. anyway. the main point is, unfortunately, I do think he would be the best boss of any of these people (except probably apollo in a few years). he prob has a very specific filing system and he likes things to be done exactly right, but because he wants things to be done right, because having your files organized and up-to-date so that you can meet deadlines is how you avoid making yourself look like an idiot to the courts, it will be made very clear to you what the right way is, and that’s like. what you want when you’re organizing someone’s shit Imo. 8.5/10, he gets .5 taken off for each murder attempt

( aa1 | aa2 | aa3 )

#didn't do flashback versions as different characters this time oops #flashback phoenix is the same as aa3 phoenix. and flashback klav is like. idk. something pretty low #would not work for a teenager who works exactly one (1) case #no offense to klav. i do love him. i just think he would be a terrible boss when he was 17 #dreaming.txt #ace attorney

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merulanoir · 1 year

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I was having some guilty feelings about how I have been taking it very easy for the past few weeks, so to nip that in the bud I'm trying to take an objective look at stuff.

And like. For once, my semester actually had a sort of ideal rhythm in terms of due dates. Instead of having massive assignments all due on the last week and/or a flood of exams, the majority of that crap was sprinkled evenly among the weeks. Which means that I was able to knock out so much work in advance. I have two exams (swedish spoken and written skill) and one presentation left.

I also completed that damn internship. I even got the credit for it already. Can I get a wahoo.

I'm still waiting to hear back about the transfer I requested. The deadline for that is the 15th, and by now I have given up hope that it'll come a second sooner than that. Ah well. I'm not even that worried tbh. Things will work out somehow.

And even if I hadn't worked hard! It would be okay! I sure as hell didn't push myself as hard as last year (mostly sue to the internship. Besides, if all goes according to plan, next spring is going to be...wild). And that's okay, because my mental health is good. I dodged a possible depressive episode, which is huge to me and which no one else will notice bc I'm able to keep going (and to be clear, that's the way I prefer!)

I was able to keep writing and drawing, I knitted a lot, I'm running two really cool dnd campaigns, and even though I haven't been doing much to learn more Hebrew, I've started davening more.

Anyway. I'm declaring this autumn a huge success. I'm flying to Midwest on the 16th, so hopefully I'll get to attend shul for chanukah and cause a latke disaster in my partner's kitchen.

#blackbirb babbles

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remcycl333 · 2 years

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hey rem! ☹️ anon here! im doing great, ive actually been taking time off tumblr and just flipping negative thoughts and thinking as if i have my desires and adding self concept into there too. im sorry about all the drama and impersonating that’s going on! i hope you’re ok! i found a really good youtuber named @/electrasoul , watch her vids and tell me what you think because i really like her. now onto my question, sammy dropped a new video and i have a few questions / opinions https://youtu.be/VmCwGwgDzIA , i personally think she’s sorta wrong and sorta right. affirming 24/7 doesn’t imply lack and it isn’t going to cause your subconscious to reject it, but affirming 24/7 because you think you don’t have it is what i disagree with. finding a manifestation routine that works for you LIKE THE ONE YOU GAVE ME WHICH I LOVE is basically all you need tbh. i would only advocate for repetition if you’re repeating negative thoughts and you’re combatting it with your affirmations but even at that, you don’t need to repeat the exact same affirmations either and you can just distract yourself from thinking negatively. it’s taken me a bit of time to realize that manifesting is only hard when you try to manifest like everyone else and not figure out how to make it fun. for someone who usually thinks and repeats the same thoughts, ofc repeating affirmations is gonna be fun for them. but just having a general idea on what to affirm on and going awol is my thing personally and you helped me see that. i know feelings don’t manifest, but ive been feeling a lot less anxious about deadlines and manifesting and ive been persisting A LOT better even when i feel extremely sad and want to walllow in self-pity. anyways this is just an update. ive noticed ive been manifesting a lot faster. like someone saying something i was thinking of or me finding something i lost by just ranting about how i found it in my head. im just trying to flip more opposing thoughts and work on my self concept concerning manifestations i care about more. this is just a little update 😭

omg ☹️ anon!!!! im so happy to read this! your growth just in the last week has been so beautiful to see 🥺

i love electrasoul! sometimes i just play her videos in the background of whatever im doing and let her hype me up.

i watched sammy's new video and i definitely agree with a lot of her points. for instance the part where she says that your subconscious mind doesnt have an opinion and isn't gonna decide that you are affirming out of lack lmaoo. that had me giggling lowkey

i will say however that affirming on a loop isn't for everyone. i've mentioned before that i went through a period of time where i was obsessively affirming all day every day on a loop bc i thought that that was the only way for me to manifest something. and i was barely seeing results or progress bc personally for me that method just didn't work out. it got to a point where i wouldn't let myself listen to music anym cuz then i would get distracted and couldn't affirm. i was seriously affirming 24/7. and it wasn't until i adapted the routine that i gave you that i started seeing progress bc i let go of that obsession and need for control that i had built up within myself. im not saying that everyone will start feeling obsessively towards affirming bc obviously this is a method that works for a ton of people, but personally for me i needed to find something else.

but thats why i say a lot that manifestation can be a lot of trial and error. i tried affirming on a loop and it did NOT work for me but that doesnt mean it wont work for anyone else!!

i definitely agree with what you said about not needing to repeat affirmations over and over unless you're having negative thoughts u need to combat. i've manifested so many things so quickly by just delclaring i have it once and completely forgetting about it (on accident lol) until it shows up a day or two later.

also the thing you said about someone saying something you were thinking of! that's what happens when you work on your self concept i've noticed. u begin manifesting things so quickly without putting in any effort at all. this has happened to me so many times where i just think of something once (sometimes without even the intention of manifesting it) and my 3d instantly reflects it back to me. self concept is just rlly that bitch ugh

anywayz seeing your progress really makes me happy and brightened my day :) im rooting for u!!! <3

#☹️ anon

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myblacknightworld · 2 years

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hello! are you or do you have plans to make more fan fictions? I'm hoping you will, especially the ones about leap ballerina <3

Hiiii!!! Thank you for the ask :D

Okay, I have to be honest. Haven't been writing much later, and what I did write was because I entered a fest ahahah deadlines help a lot recently tbh and that's because they force me to write - else I have been in a desert of inspiration, sadly...

About Ballerina, would you look at the coincidence? Was talking about it with a friend yesterday, bc one of my favourite fanfics just updated w the last chapter. And I do have plans for that movie, oh boy do I have plans for that cast. But yeh, the well is a bit dry right now, and I can't even bring myself to finish the second chapter of "Arabesque", which is well on its way, and has been since 2019. I have perfected a timeline, for that movie, I have done hours of research on the mid to last 1800s Paris and France and the ballet scene. I have all the pieces, I love the movie and I love the characters (especially Odette if that wasn't clear from the fanfics lmao) but yeah. It's. Idkkkk writing is hard rn, which is why I updated the pinned post by saying it's only art asks/requests right now :(

And honestly I wouldn't mind drawing some Ballerina stuff 👀👀 After all I only have that one pencil sketch of Odette dancing - not even one of my best sketches - and adding some more Félicie would be good 👀

Anyway, sorry for the long winded answer. It really made my day knowing there's people who still read my Ballerina fanfics and appreciate them enough to ask me to write more, so thank you 🧡🧡🧡

I can't promise any fanfic anytime soon, but I can promise I will try to get back to writing them :)

#ballerina #ballerina/leap #leap 2016 #ballerina/leap 2016 #blacky answers #blackywrites

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lokiscauldron · 4 months

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Hey yall, personal shit negativity warning (death/suicide mention), feel free to skip if ya see this and dont wanna read :) warning over and have a lovely day/night!

today is fuckin crisis mode

Yk how you get those feelings like ur not gonna live till xyz age but every time it gets kinda close it moves out a year or 2? Mine isn't a age rn but I'm starting to freak out bc it's today (tomorrow?). Intense feeling for like 3 years that I wouldn't make it past this new years, even had a panic attack last year and by early March had accepted that I wouldn't see another birthday or even the next year. It stopped bothering me altogether in like April and I just came to terms with it. Unfortunately, it's new years eve and the deadline still hasn't changed for me mentally, but I have no idea how tf I would die tomorrow, like even today I went thru like 6 ways I'd die per hour all the way from accidentally poisoning myself via cleaning supplies (if I don't make it I want to leave a clean space for whoever finds me) to a car crash. But idk how it would happen tomorrow unless I killed myself which I can't do bc my best friend already had someone close to him kill themself on new years and I can't add to that and don't wanna worry him with this. So I'm posting it here. And I'm honestly more scared of not dying tomorrow bc I have made no actual plans for my life beyond this year bc I was so sure I'm not gonna make it to see them happen so I didn't see a point. I dont really want to kill myself rn but knowing me that wont last long, depressive spiral started around october and hasnt shown any signs of lifting and winter break has done like nothing for my mental health. If anything its given me more energy to hurt myself with bc im slightly less sleep deprived. Sooo yea hasn't been a great few days. Or weeks. Or months. Or years tbh. Anyways if I don't die ill post on new years and if I do happy new years! May the new year bring light a happiness to all of you, and remember you're worth it; eat a snack, drink some water, and take care of yourself. I love ya <3

#Hehe I love this sm (sarcasm)#tw sui ideation #tw death #tw sh related #Sry for the vent but needed to write it down #If I make it ill prolly be fine but yea

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kuiinncedes · 3 years

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looks like i’m just gonna do ✨nothing✨ today

#whic would be fine but i've done nothing for like a month so #maybe more of a problem but idk ugh #i finally texted my friens and it was fine but they're busy and so i get to keep being ✨lonelyyyyyy✨#i'm gonnaaaaa dance around to conan's music once this playlist ends #i just keep listening to him and just every day at least once i have the thought of **what the fuck conan's music is so good**#and thennnnn watch guilty pleasures with gleewatch i guess?? at least i think thats today lmao #i lowkey have work to do but it doesn't have a set deadline at least i was not informed of one #so guess what that means i'm completely unmotivated to do it lol #which i would be anyway tbh but even more so bc there's no deadline #ughhhhhhh anyway #maybe i can try to work on a fic or something lmaooo yeah probably not #my parents were talking about us going out somewhere as a familyfdkglhsfj but idk if that's happening #it's probably gonna be like time for gleewatch and then they'll be like lets gooo #and i realy want to watch guilty pleasures with ppl lol anyway #welp i always am like halfway thru writing these tags and i Think i'm gonna end it but then i don't lmao #stfu jeanne

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milkacchan · 4 years

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Request for anon: Can I have Present mic, Aizawa, and all might where they learn their young student is fatherless? Like... their father walked out/went to prison when they were young. I'm sorry if this is time consuming, but I can't stop sobbing over my father.

I'm the situation baby but remember it wasn't your fault

I changed it up a little bit with Mics- I hope you don't mind

Present Mic:

• from the getgo something was wrong

• The moment you walked into class he could tell

• You looked like shit

• Dark bags under your eyes, hair messily brushed, just to get it out if your face, and your eyes were a light red.

• You didn't look particularly happy to be there either

• something turns in his stomach, a gut feeling that something really had went down

• And he hated seeing his students upset

• but he was relatively close to you to begin with, his felt different

• He felt like he had to do something

• Everyone settled into their seats as the bull rung but his eyes remained on you

• You honestly didn't pay attention during the lesson

• He could tell as much

• class finishes and the bell rings but you sit still, and it's not until most of the students have trickled out of the room do you start packing up

• He walks over and kneels in front of the desk "You okay there? You don't look so good," he looks concerned and his heart drops when he sees your lip start to quiver

• It takes you 0.27 seconds to break and you're frantically wiping your eyes as sobs wrack your body

• He's got his arms wrapped around you in seconds and you're leaning into his shoulder.

• He isn't sure exactly how long you're crying for but eventually you calm down enough to get out a coherent sentence

• "My-My dad was arrested Friday night. He won't tell me why- he won't let anyone else tell me why and I don't know what else to do," you cry, "I miss him so much and its only been a few days- I don't- I don't have anyone else, Mr. Hazashi,"

• And you're crying again.

• He has you take the rest of the day off, in fact he takes the day with you

• He calls in a sub (you don't know what strings he had to pull for that but you don't ask, at this point you don't care) and you two dip

• He takes you to get food, real food, that'll make you feel better

• He knows that'll help a little

• and after that he takes you to get something sweet- that tends to help mood and blood pressure and anxiety

• So he does his best with you

• He nutures you the best way he knows how

• if you need anything and I mean ANYTHING this man has you covered

• He does his best to step up in any way he can

• first off he extends his assignment deadlines and cancels two tests. Who needs them anyway.

• And you eat lunch in his classroom because he can well tell you don't want to talk to anyone else right now

• He closes it off (seemingly) so in reality its just you and him

• He'll probably tell Aizawa too but on the downlow (just so he knows)

• When holidays roll around, the dorms close.

• In this case- he let's you stay with him. He has an extra bedroom. He doesn't want you to stay in an empty house.

• You also get his phone number (which you gladly use) for anything really

• Bored? He'll deliver some shitty puns.

• Confused about homework? Text him.

• having a mental breakdown? He's got you covered.

• You got memes? Please for the love of God send them to him.

• The dynamic eventually shifts to a VERY father daughter relationship.

• He knows he'll never replace your dad. He understands that wholeheartedly, but he wants you to have someone

• He actually gets a letter from your dad, thanking him for taking care of you

• but he really doesn't mind

Aizawa:

• He had a feeling that there was something going on at home. Or rather, a lack of something.

• He's dealt with it in the oast- with himself and with past students and current ones

• Shinsou

• I mean, aside from that fact whenever parents were mentioned, you'd either stiffen up or wrinkle your nose

• You didn't really like the subject of parents

• There was an essay prompt about parents (nothing too personal) nd you ended up writing it on the extinction of dinosaurs and why God fucked up instead

"It'd be absolutely stellar to see huge lizards roaming the earth and occasionally stepping on people, you know? Jurassic park was onto something."

• Man's couldn't even fail you on it because it was written v well

• Anyway, he doesn't pry too much. He just silently figures it out by process if elimination and pattern.

• He doesn't really care too much

• In the sense if it doesn't define you and he doesn't help you because he pities you

• he helps you because he seems potential

• He takes you under his wing with shinsou

• Yall spend a whole summer training

• And that's when it all came out

• It was an accident really.

• Shinsou was tired, exhausted really

• and when people get tired- that tired- sometimes they spout random shot they wouldn't usually say

• and thats what he did

• he went on about his home life

• and if he could, you could too right?? You could trust them.

• "My dad walked out when I was a kid. Little, like 3. I have a few pictures of him holding me, but I guess it wasn't enough. I don't have any desire to meet him. Not anymore. But it left me feeling like I did something wrong? I guess? Which I suppose is why I train. Because then I feel strong. Which is a good difference from how it usually feels."

• He knew it.

• He called it.

• He was right again.

• He reassures you that you are good enough, strong enough, and his decision to leave had nothing to do with you

• and when he saw you give him a soft smile, he warmed.

• I mean really, it only goes up from there

• he'll deny it, or grumble under his breath, but he seems you two as his own

• Like these aren't my kids but they are my kids

• When dorms close on holiday yall get to stay because that's where he lives too

• Like if you chose too

• he's not gonna force you to stay but if you don't want to go home, you don't have too

• He has that power

• He will buy you food

• all you gotta do is ask

• and he'll roll his eyes and grumble something he doesn't really mean, just secretly happy that you feel comfortable enough around him to ask for something

• lmao family group chat

S: 'Hey Mr. Aizawa I found this cat. Hold on lemme send a pic'

A: 'Dont need a pic. Bring him home'

Y: 'What if he's ugly??'

A: 'gremlin. Bring him home.'

Y: 'Hey I saw this tweet that said 'kids be like watch this and do a half roundhouse spin kick clap and waste my fucking time' and it make me think of you.'

S: @ mr. Aizawa when he has to watch deku do sumn

Y: Lmaoooo like when he threw the baseball

S: LMAOO

A: Me watching you too try to figure out how to beat me in training

Y: Yikes bro

S: That was a rough one

• Does he regret giving you and shinsou his number??

• Maybe

• Not really

• Lmao super secret lunch movie days

• Every week on wendesday yall watch a movie. Usually it takes 2 or 3 days to watch the movie since lunch is only 70 minutes

• @ you accidently calling him dad one day and shinsou snickering but it stuck

• dadzawa lmaoo

Allmight:

• Man's has 2 underlings.

• You and Deku.

• Picked you up when he started teaching at UA

• Ion know let's say one day you popped off bc he said some dumb shit and you were like no sir that's clearly wrong

• schooled him in his own damn subject

• the other kids were like 😳

• what the fuck

• Anyway

• He see's you have potential

• And though he's not the best teacher, you seem to respond better to the way HE was taught

• So tbh its easier to teach you

• 'okay, now I want you to beat the shot out if that wall,'

'Okay lmao bet'

• Midoriya is like, hey mayhaps we should analyze the situation

• N ur like noe

• You just don't give a fuck

• about anything really

• other than moving up the ranks

• But even then- its not a super super big deal, you're just gonna do your best but you aren't gonna stress

• However he noticed a pattern w you (even before Midoryia brought it up to him)

• You don't let anyone in

• Midoryia knows a bit more than the other students but that's really only because he's always with you

• a good majority of the week he's w you

• but its not really a deep connection

• you don't rely on either of them

• You do your best to do things on your own.

• He knows midoryias life story

• he knows why he acts the way he does

• but he doesn't know why you do

• he has a gut feeling it could be the same as midoryia

• I mean he already had one kid who's dad dipped

• he'll surely be able to figure out you too??

• So he makes himself a promise that he'll figure it out and he'll become someone you trust

• And he does just that

• When you tell him about your nightmare of a family history he's like mm, makes sense

• but he's happy that you trust him!!!

• He's a BIG suckered for movie nights

• he's got popcorn, snacks, candy, chocolate, soda- he's prepared

• list of movies lined out all ready

• I lowkey feel like he'd be into lord of the rings or fast n furious

• fast n furious at LEAST

• He's really into American action movies

• and he has no problem sharing those movies with you

• he doesn't have a whole ton of money, like he's not rich, but if you or midoryia need something he's definitely there to get it for you

• even if ur like fam no you don't need too

• he'll buy yell food a lot

• a l o t

• and cards

• when you and midoryia get him a father's day card he thinks he's gonna cry

• You guys also have a group chat

• 'da faemilee'

• Y: "Hey dad do you have milk?"

A: "???? Do I have milk????"

Y: "ya I'm looking in your fridge n ion see any???"

A: "How'd you even get in????"

Y: "Izuku."

I: "lmaoo"

Y: Izuku you dumb bitch I left for ONE day

Y: And you got into a fight with Bakugou

I: He wanted to throw hands. I just did what you would do.

A: He's got you there

A: What do you guys want for dinner

I: Sushi

Y: Chicfila

Y: Izu square up

I: K

Y: Izu is fighting kacchow again

A: Beat his ass young midoriya

Y: Lmaoooooo

#hizashi x daughter reader #hizashi x reader #aizawa x hizashi #hizashi yamada #yamada hizashi #present mic #present mic x reader #aizawa x child reader #aizawa x daughter reader #aizawa x reader #aizawa shouta #shouta aizawa #eraserhead #all might #all might x reader #mha toshinori

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domjaehyun · 2 years

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hii heEeey! <3 i'm the anon who's in love with u and ur sexy brain <33 i'm gonna panic jsksks i have a lot of things i wanna tell you and talk about that if i were to put it in one ask, it's gonna be so so long UgH😭 for now, imma store them in a folder inside my mind and try my best to not forget them bUT ANYWAY. i love the new theme!! 😻😻 and that racist bitchass is so stupid, what a waste of time and space they are!!! 😤 it was soul satisfying how you roasted them though😌 ialsomayhavefallendeeperinlovewithyouseeingyougooffonsomeonelikethatmadememalfunctionthatwasveryattractiveofyouplskissme HHHHHHHHh

okaY so i don't really believe in astrology that much, i just see it as for fun but i kinda do but don't (guess my sun lmao) and my knowledge on it is very limited and basic so reading your analysis got me giddy cause i feel like i'm learning more from you and about you ehEhEHe. now i'm curious >< i wanna know what you think of me jsksjsjs. i'm a libra sun, sagittarius moon, pisces rising, mercury in libra too, venus in virgo, and mars in capricorn. i know nothing about birth charts but tbh when i saw mine i was like uhhh :////// LMAO NAKSSKS

oh my gooood, i also have to ask you, do you know cusp signs??? part of the reason why i don't believe in astrology that much is bcs of my birth date, that sometimes it's under libra or virgo (i remember u said ur least fav air sign is libra and u don't like virgos damn i'm not winning ur heart huh😭😭😭) like for example, i'm looking at a daily horoscope and i try to find mine, and it has dates too, sometimes it'll say until sept blah blah to sept 22 for virgos so then that means i'm a libra??? since sept 23 is the start of libra is what they're saying, but other times it'll say it's until 23 for virgos so i'm not a libra but a virgo????? it's just so confusing that i feel like i don't belong JWKSKSJW but from what google said it's what they call a cusp sign, when uhh it's in the process of transitioning from one sign to another or something something i really dunno like where the hell do i even put myself in *sobs*. this time though my birth chart result said libra so lemme just roll with it ig :"))

lastly, look at this haechan vid and suffer with me ;-; https://twitter.com/odetolhc/status/1467137355953819648?t=eNf-X0ikjGz0njFmoiS6hw&s=19

omg omg omg okay here we go fjgsdkl hi my love :D (just so you're aware, i officially give you permission to send me as many asks as YOU need to get everything out that you want to say!! you're literally such a cutie and i find your excitement v endearing fdsgkjd)

thank you my love :D i'm glad you like the theme !!!!!! and also . yeah they're pathetic. it's unfortunate that people are like that but it's more unfortunate that they're allowed to interact with people ://

but DJFGSDLK THANK YOU IM HAPPY YOU LIKED IT OMG tbh it always surprises me when i like. Do Things Like That, like. go off on people like i did, and then other people like. encourage it 😭😭😭 it's a little bit maddening to my libra rising AND just the general personality trait i have of . not rly acknowledging hate or doing things like that like. i was p much a "good vibes only" type of person for a whiiiile bc i didnt wanna get like . painted as Mean or whatever but now i'm like. fuck it. and ....ppl.......enjoy it........ which means i could have been doing this all along 😭 so all the times i chose "peace" I COULD HAVE BEEN GOING FOR THE JUGULAR !!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH JOY THAT WOULD BRING ME !!! *heavy sigh* anyway . yeah dfjgshdklj but i'm very happy you don't think i'm like . a bad person or anything ig !!! makes me very relieved :D

and omg my love i wish i'd . been able to answer your chart reading earlier bc i think i had more energy earlier fjdgshdjk but i will try my best regardless!!!!

NO MORE ASTROLOGY ASKS!!!

okay i'm gonna try and keep it as. concise yet informative as possible bc now im in a small time crunch w a deadline for today fgjsfdlk but here i GO

libra sun - you could either be very "mediator" / "peace maker" in behavior or could go the absolute opposite direction and play "manipulative puppet master." virtually nothing else in your chart suggests the latter, nor does anything about your demeanor, so don't worry. you might, as the peace maker, be more likely to compromise your own comfort for the sake of "keeping the peace" -- do not do that. do not do that. you deserve better than to be uncomfortable in situations because people keep disrespecting you!!! that also, quite honestly, might play a role in why you find it so attractive when i go off on people–your sun sign is the opposite of my sun sign and we are pretty contrasting in vibes fdkjgslf so it might in a way inspire you because you may think i have the voice, candor, ability/power, and freedom to stand up for myself in ways you might like to?

pisces rising - i mentioned this in another reply to an anon's chart, but you might have the habit of idealizing yourself to an extent? hiding parts of yourself you don't believe fit the image you're attempting to portray to others around you and pisces risings can be described by some people as kind of daydreamy, like a person whose head is always in the clouds !!!

libra sun AND pisces rising - these are both placements/signs that aren't always the best at speaking up for themselves, so the fact that these two work so closely in your chart might suggest that you at times might feel like a pushover in some regards and more passive where maybe you might not actually want to be.

libra mercury - mercury is the planet that kinda rules communication and libra mercuries can really go a number of ways, i think. i think more evolved libra mercuries (evolution in the sense that i am using it means the actual process of you growing up as an individual and developing and coming more into your own/finding your voice) can be excellent communicators; diplomatic and respectful, patient, well-spoken, and in a sense can be pretty good, like, flatterers ig? yeah fjgsdjlk your libra mercury could also make you an excellent communicator who doesn't exactly use your abilities for good; you might be very good at manipulation and deceptive language and behavior; be mindful of this if it concerns you!! however, i would say that unevolved libra mercuries might have a really hard time finding their voice because of their tendency to hold back slightly and compromise on expressing themselves for the "peace keeping" aspect of the situation. do not do that!!!! speak your piece!!!!!!!!

libra mercury AND libra sun - i saw a tiktok like yesterday that made such excellent sense when i actually thought about it, and it said that people whose mercury and sun placements are in the same sign (like you!!) tend to be very good at expressing themselves!! which to me makes perfect sense bc like . in keeping w the example ive used a while today, your libra sun, your core/essence/energy, is speaking one language. when it comes to expressing yourself, your libra sun is passing that to your mercury sign so it can handle the communication part; because your mercury is also in libra, this means there won't be any need to "translate" in a sense because your libra mercury speaks the exact same language as your libra sun! (fun fact: i also have my sun and mercury in the same sign dfkjsghl i am an aries sun and mercury which . might explain to some extent why being Assertive and Sticking Up For Myself feels so cathartic when i do it dfsgjfsfldj)

sagittarius moon - i mentioned this in i think another reblog, but again, sag moons are the least "fiery" of the fire signs to me!! quite honestly, they're more of an airy fire sign to me i think in that they're very free spirits and really value independence and the space to explore and have adventures and try new things!! your sag moon might make you a little surprised at times and it might have a little more fire to it than your libra sun/mercury and pisces rising might expect, but it's probably, in a way, protecting you from some sort of stressor you might not be fully cognizant of. i feel like specific triggers that might upset you most are when people are being unfair (a lot of libras have like . diplomatic, fair energy; my libra rising def plays a factor in how i handle conflict in a similar way), specifically some form of biased, if you feel as though someone just Keeps Starting Problems and therefore making your internal role of "peace maker" kick into overdrive, and from your sag moon, you might react very strongly to feeling controlled or trapped in some sense.

capricorn mars - i don't know much of Anything about capricorns but words that do come to mind are Methodical, Logical, and Driven. you might really attempt to rationalize and justify your anger and truly make sure that if you're gonna raise a fuss, it's something worth raising a fuss about !!!

capricorn mars AND libra sun/mercury - these signs could actually be pretty harmonious, i think!! libra is fair and wants to know the whole story, with an unbiased opinion, and capricorn wants to do just that; gather every bit of evidence, analyze it carefully, and then read a bitch dfgkjsdlk you might be the type of person who finds yourself compiling "receipts" against people and situations and maybe even keeping them very organized in a way that makes sense to you. think about it, in a sense, like your libra sun is the big CEO of the company that is you. your libra mercury is kind of your libra sun's right hand man in that your mercury sends out all the official emails and statements/handles the correspondence. think of your capricorn mars as, like, maybe HR...if that makes sense. when there are issues that you feel need to be handled, your capricorn mars HR department is gonna be in charge of getting all the facts and analyzing the situation and bringing said info to your libra sun, who looks over the evidence, makes a final judgment, then gives your libra mercury the go ahead to send out an official statement!! you have the potential to be a very well oiled machine when these three signs come into play with each other!!!

virgo venus - gonna be 100% real with you, my love; i do not know very much about virgo venuses but i will do my best!!!! if i'm not mistaken, virgo in venus isn't actually a super harmonious placement? venus is about peace and love and things like that, whereas virgo is typically more...logical? i would say? it's a far more grounded sign than venus would usually like to have in her orbit djsfgkld think of it kind of as venus being the happy child who just wants to daydream and have good vibes, but virgo is like . the parent who never entertains what they believe to be venus's "nonsense" and would be the type of parent to ruin venus's daydreaming and dream world; for example: the type of parent who would tell their child santa isnt real just to "be realistic" even though their child might be devastated 😭😭😭 virgos do seem as if they could be attracted to intelligence in a sense; wittiness, cleverness, etc. (this...also might play a factor in why you find it attractive when i tell people off dfjkgskdk) and might want to be in a partnership with people they believe they can stand to learn something from!! virgos may be very critical when developing affections–they might be more prone to getting "the ick" from people or just having what others may consider Very High Standards–but once they're in love, they're usually there to stay !!! virgos are very loyal lovers and can be very protective of their lover and might really like to be in a partnership where, again, they can learn from one another, but also protect each other. virgo in venus might really benefit from a more patient lover because they might initially have a hard time expressing/coming to terms with their feelings!! (me: i don't know much about this!! also me: says A Lot)

libra sun AND virgo venus - you might be kind of a serial crusher in that people catch your eye frequently, but because of your virgo venus, you might find a reason to stop liking them quickly jfgfsljgdh think, again, of virgo as a parent in a sense? and libra is the child in the grocery store asking their parent if they can get X treat and every time they ask, virgo says no quite snappily and might leave libra feeling a little stuck and frustrated, as they don't feel as if the situation is fair. this could manifest in, like, you criticizing yourself for repeatedly losing interest in people and wondering to yourself why you're "difficult to please" but i don't think there are any inherent issues with having high standards for yourself!! you might just want to make sure the standards you have are reasonable expectations for people to meet, otherwise you might not have very happy relationships!!

OKAY ummmm about cusps; i don't know !!! i think that personally i would be more inclined to go with whichever placement resonates best, which is most likely going to be your actual calculated sun sign! cusps are kinda wishy washy so i don't rly know much about them :((( i'm sorry abt that, my love!!! (also don't worry; you do not give me virgo (derogatory) vibes at all dfhglksjdf and i DO LIKE LIBRAS!!! they're just not my favorite air sign but i like . have actual reasons to like libras!!! i only placed aquarius higher on the list because....quite frankly, i am not sure why but i repeatedly find myself drawn to aquariuses, and they also seem to be drawn to me dfghjslk)

aaaand last but certainly not least: haechan is going to make me scream at the top of my lungs. he's so . he's so PRECISE like he's SO talented oHHhHhhhH my god he's so in control of himself that is insane to me im gonna scream oh my god i'm gonna cry and have a meltdown perhaps!!!!!!!

#answered #anon

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chubsonthemoon · 3 years

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tagged by @storybookprincess!! (thank you!!) here are some of my fave fics I’ve written! tbh this was kinda difficult; I am very aware that nothing I write is neither perfect nor very polished (it wouldn’t be even remotely fun for me if I tried to do that), but mostly everything I’ve written I’ve written for the sole audience members of me myself and I (and also sometimes a friend :3), so these are some of my more recent faves. under a cut because this got kinda long, whoopsie!

tagging! @superish, @dodici12, and @owletstarlet! <3

Letters from Heaven: haikyuu!!, kagehina, 60k

this fic was written for last year’s kghn big bang and it was so fun! It’s the longest thing I’ve written yet, and boy oh boy it was such a challenge to juggle a bunch of different things that I hadn’t done on this kind of scale before, like longer character arcs and, especially given that this is a violet evergarden AU, describing things in a way that fits with kyoani’s style and VibeTM. My last longer fic, thy kingdom come, was about half this length and almost made the list simply because of how bonkers it was (like I hadn’t written at all that year and suddenly signed up for a big bang and then had to take a month long break in the middle because of school stuff, and then boom I ended up writing the latter half of it a few days before the deadline LOL), but anyway. It’s not perfect (nothing is!) but it’s chock full of recurring metaphors and long-winded descriptions about the sky and pining out the wazoo (basically: all wildly self-indulgent things catered to me and me alone) and I love it all the same. (also bajillion thanks to janine for this one heh she is to blame for most of my kghn madness)

over the edge (of all our knowings): hunter x hunter, killugon, 13k

okay this one almost went to my other killugon fic again bc everything I write is so self-indulgent but!! this fic is probably one of the few fics that I set out to write very intentionally? that sounds weird, hmm how to explain. I tend to write fic mostly to let out Emotions but tbh it’s so much easier and way more fun for me to do that through reading other people’s works--less work for me to read abt my faves than to write them, after all! so most of what’s on my profile before this fic is exactly that: I sat down at like one in the morning with my notebook and fever-dream scribbled out a oneshot that I spent maybe the next two or three days typing up, reading over once, and then yeeting it up onto the archive. but not with this fic! I had already written my Vent fic for the boys in question, but my goals with this fic were more deliberately geared towards examining and changing up my approach to writing: 1) I really wanted to explore gon after the world tree and what his healing might look like, but gon is Really Hard for me to write (the boy is so!! ARGHSLKDFJ). So: deeply inhabiting unfamiliar character pov practice. Asking myself, after every single line of dialogue and event and inner monologue, how this character would react and why. How will this impact their next action? How will it impact their relationship with this other character? How about this? and this? and so on and so forth 2) I wanted to find a balance with my metaphors on both a sentence by sentence and an overarching basis (I tend to just go for the first--I can’t help it I love purple-y prose jslkdfj). 3) Time!! I also went a lot slower with this one. Every night for over a month, writing a little bit at a time in my notebook. And I found that going slower...is actually really nice? Takes a lot of the stress away. tldr; this fic was basically one long exercise in me examining my writing (also ngl my creative writing professor’s feedback on my work for class really kickstarted this LOL) and boy oh boy was it satisfying to see it posted when I finished. I learned a lot! Also I got some of the kindest comments that made me tear up, which was so wonderful. god this got long okay moving on.

your heart, bright heart: natsume yuujinchou, tanunatsu & gen, 7k

after over a year of quarantine I’ve read more fic than I ever have in my LIFE and I have figured some stuff out about what makes me go absolutely bonkers, writing-wise. this fic was an attempt, after several months of reading literally hundreds of fics across dozens of fandoms and relationships and pairings (like geeze! hxh, run with the wind, hq, yuri on ice, the great pretender, ouran highschool host club, snk, mdzs, final fantasy xv, and yes natsuyuu too LOL), an attempt at making myself go bonkers, if you will. and I still can’t quite put my finger on what it IS but I know it has something to do with the naming of things. like an author will Name a Thing, very specifically, whether it is an action or a character thought or something very simple about the environment--and that something speaks volumes about the character and their relationships and the core themes of the series and it’s like. it’s like there’s a moment of understanding between that character and the reader, an oh! I know what that means. it’s wonderful and I’m butchering the explanation here but anyway. I still have no idea how to do this myself yet but goddammit I’m gonna get there one day. This fic was my first attempt in the Naming of Things. idk if there are any oh! moments in it myself, but natsuyuu is the perfect series for the kind of quiet that I think you need for those small moments.

holy SHIT this got long uh. if you’ve made it this far--thank you?? this was also useful for me to articulate what the hell I’m doing in hamsterland. Recently a visiting poet came to one of my classes at university and talked about language-making as a physical art. Language has a physical existence, she said; it leaves the body and enters another and causes a physical reaction in both speaker and listener. She talked about how writers are creators of physical things, and how writing is mostly thinking before the creating. The physicality of language. To say it made me lose my marbles is an understatement!! tldr; there’s so much inspiration everywhere, and I wanna write more!!! So I’m gonna!!

#tag game #rambling #my fic

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angst-in-space · 3 years

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december ‘20 writing progress (and yearly wrap-up)

december progress:

words written: 15.2k

yearly total: 248.8k

projects worked on:

- sylvix dreamscape fic - edited/posted the sylvix xmas fic, “where the love light gleams” - finished writing the altea rising recap - worked on a couple secret projects

december goals: - reach my yearly goal of writing 250k words....*sweats* (ok i didn’t quite get there but i’ll give myself credit cuz i was only like 200 words off) - finish/submit final draft of piece for long live zine - finish editing and publish the sylvix xmas fic! - finish/publish [redacted] and [redacted] - work some more on the sylvix dreamscape fic - finish the altea rising recap summary (and....maybe work a little on chapter 19 if i have time)

notes:

well, december was....a very busy month. had kind of a hellish start to the month what with a health-related thing (not covid, don’t worry i’m fine dkfjdl) so that kinda sapped my energy for about a week. then ofc there was the holidays and everything. aaand on top of that i had like four writing deadlines (although like....two of them were postponed so that was good haha).

but anyway! i did at least manage to finish a couple of things––mainly my sylvix christmas fic (“where the love light gleams”), finishing/submitting my “long live” zine piece, FINALLY finishing the altea rising recap summary ... and also finishing one secret thing that is not published yet, but it’s for a fandom i’ve never written before and i’ll be very excited to publish it once i can!

other than that, i mostly worked on the sylvix dreamscape fic and on a secret santa exchange fic that i still have not finished (we extended the deadline to end of january bc like...no one in the group had finished by end of december lol).

i didn’t quite reach my goal of 250k words for the year, but i mean my initial goal was 150k and i only ended up being about 200 words shy of 250k SO i still think that’s a big win lol.

as for what i’ll be working on next: top priority is finishing the secret santa fic. but i also hope to keep working on the sylvix dreamscape fic. aaand hoping to edit/publish the klance hotel au by the end of january maybe, since uh i finished a draft of it in november and STILL have not finished editing that so OOPS. and mayyybe will finally delve into finishing the last few chapters of altea rising, and maybe at least start editing chapter 15 but that’s pretty optimistic of me lmao.

2020 wrap up:

total words written: 248.8k most words written in a month: 50.1k (november) least words written in a month: 14.1k (march)

works completed:

- want your fire on me - i know a place we can run - illumination - cover my skin with your sunkissed light - where the love light gleams - klance hotel au (not published yet) - [secret project] (not published yet) - miles to go (my zine piece for “long live”, not published yet) other wips: - sylvix dreamscape fic - altea rising - secret santa fic - planning my wlw YA sci-fi novel

2020 goals:

- write every day - write at least 150k words - focus more on my multichaps - finish altea rising - finish a couple of my kl standalone fics?? not sure which ones yet, but yeah! - finish galolio fic - write burning hearts piece - work on wangxian fic w jessie! - maybe start writing something original??

notes:

all in all, a very productive year! there were some yearly goals i did not reach (i.e. finishing my old klance multichaps.....rip) but i mean, i also ended up getting involved in (and writing fic for) several other fandoms, so i couldn’t really have anticipated that at the beginning of the year. i’m really happy with the two sylvix fics i’ve published so far, and i hope to write a lot more for them this year!

so yeah... i have a few big projects i want to tackle in 2021. firstly the sylvix dreamscape fic is...already over 30k and i’m estimating it’ll probably end up being a total of somewhere around 50k-60k so uh yeah that’s gonna be a big commitment lol. but i think i’m gonna do the same thing i did with “cover my skin...” and make it a chaptered fic. not sure when i will start posting it but i’m hoping ideally sometime in like late february or early march, depending on a few things.

i have a few other sylvix fics i also hope to at least start writing sometime this year. one in particular i have had fully planned out for months but ironically have not started it yet even though it was the first sylvix fic idea i came up with... but yeah i might start that one after the dreamscape fic is done. i also have a couple aus that i might tackle, but they both need a lot more fleshing out before i even begin writing them so hmm we shall see.

besides that... i do really honestly want to finish my klance multichaps even tho it’s been...over a year since i updated either of them and idk if anyone even gives a shit anymore but i’m a completionist at heart and just wanna see them through sooo yEAH. i have at least finished writing up a (very long) summary of everything i’ve written of altea rising so far, mostly to recap myself to make sure i tie up all the loose ends in the last few chapters. i did work a bit on actually writing it in 2020 although tbh i like kinda fell off the rails once i fell into fe3h/sylvix hell BUT i still intend to get back to it because i do still have a soft spot for it and want to finish it. and long story short, i’ve decided to divide up what i’ve written of the last part into like...5-ish chapters so yeah, hopefully i can start posting those at some point in the near future. ....and uhh i don’t think i worked on red skies at all in 2020 which makes me sad bc i still love that fic dearly and want to complete it as well, it just may take me a few months to get back to it but hey if i’m able to update it at all in 2021 that would be great haha. another thing i’m hoping is to possibly open commissions in 2021, something i said i would do in 2020 and never did but....kinda wanna give it a try, especially because i am funemployed once again. :’) AND LASTLY...i’ve been planning an original wlw YA sci-fi novel for like two years and i would really love to start at least the first draft of it this year....that would be neat.

so yeah this post is starting to get insanely long but i’ll just wrap up with my 2021 goals and january goals, and...yeah. 2020 sure was a weird year, here’s hoping 2021 is (at least..slightly...??) better.

2021 goals: - write every day - write at least 150k words - finish the sylvix dreamscape fic - start on like 1 or 2 other sylvix multichaps...? - finish altea rising - work on red skies again - do some fic commissions - continue planning my novel and maybe start the first draft january goals: - finish secret santa fic - publish [redacted] - work on sylvix dreamscape fic - edit klance hotel au (hopefully send to betas by end of month at least?) - maybe work on altea rising ch. 19

#brigidposts #writing updates #monthly writing progress 2020 #fanfic #text #long post

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heckyeahepithetswitched · 4 years

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candaru liveblogs reading her own writing: episode 6

it still absolutely makes my day when people get excited over me talking to them; like habgsdklfgh I’m not Jello I’m just an awkward bean who likes to write?? anyway today’s been pretty good

GHHGASDGAKSDLFH I LITERALLY FORGOT I WROTE THE OPENING LIKE THIS

PFFFFF I GET DONE W/PRAISING JELLO AND THEN IMMEDIATELY GO ON TO ROAST HIM

Gorou being absolutely oblivious and his minions being the ones to drive the plot is hysterical tbh

every once and a while I write a line and then have to squint at it until I figure out where I stole it from because I hear it in a VERY specific voice in my head so I know it’s a reference but even I don’t know to what

anyway (Kirbopher vc) I’M NOTTA SQUIRE!

IT’S THE SWAP VERSION OF WHAT GIO DID TO SYLVIE IN THE MUSEUM

I’m not overly fond of the original bar fight but I wanted to go with the same goofy cartoon brawl aesthetic, so I spent quite a while throwing around ideas before settling on “Nightmare Fuel, but it’s Gorou so instead of being actually scary it’s giant talking donuts trying to eat the people”

I think that was a good idea :)

this was just my personal vendetta upon learning Gorou’s original powerset haijgklsdfhgbh

...but also a good excuse for a swap!version of the “nah, I’m just awesome” line XD

soooooo this was a BIT of a cheat, but I had to have someone drop Molly’s name and I knew it couldn’t be Molly herself because she wouldn’t be dumb enough to do what Gio did (no offense Gio) and every other way I tried to make it happen had other problems, so. Gorou gets to hint at Molly’s backstory! yay!

he used to buy toys for himself and the Banzai Bees even tho he was already very much an adult :’)

this is a joke

but also a very subtle reference to the fact that the cat (who is in Howdy Morning’s role) was part of a plot-relevant “government experiment”

I absolutely love that last one ngl habsdlkpfaghfsd it’s just so absolutely something that would happen in EE

just. a bunch of minions way more competent than their leader but they all refuse to be promoted and “leave the others behind” so they end up as these very highly-skilled but low-ranking Banzai Blasters

OH I TOTALLY FORGOT UNTIL NOW

THIS WAS THE EPISODE I WROTE THROUGH A DEPRESSIVE ATTACK

AND I’M STILL REALLY PROUD OF THE WORK

don’t let your mental illnesses stop you from achieving your dreams, kids

and thus everyone’s favorite nickname was born

the most-loved scene in this entire thing, by FAR, and honestly I’m perfectly happy with that

everyone please salute Anime Campaign, proof that even your dumb friend group RPs can be turned into a masterpiece as long as you’re open-minded to change things

...I forgot I actually DID put Howdy into this basghsdklfgh (tho most of the joke was that none of his lines needed to change at ALL)

this episode is just full of jabs at Jello, huh?

BUT SERIOUSLY, SIR PLEASE. WHY COULD RAMSEY REMEMBER PERCY’S EPITHET? DO ERASER CUFFS ONLY MAKE YOU FORGET YOUR OWN? BECAUSE IT SEEMS LIKE MERA AND INDUS HAVE A PRETTY SOLID BREAKOUT PLAN IF THAT’S THE CASE. AND EVEN SO, HOW WOULD PERCY KNOW THAT ONE OR TWO “ZAPPY TOWERS” WOULD BE ENOUGH TO KNOCK HER OUT? SHE DOESN’T HAVE A NOTE AND SHE’S UNDER THE ERASER CUFF EFFECTS. SHE SHOULDN’T REMEMBER ANYTHING ABOUT PARAPET. SIR PLEASE—

one of the reasons I didn’t like Redwood Run as much as the Museum Arc was bc I felt that Percy and Ramsey didn’t have much time to actually develop their dynamic, so what they did have felt kinda forced and rushed. of course that’s not exactly Jello’s fault bc he only had THREE episodes to work with and a lot to set up, but I still did my best to give the swap duo as many little moments as possible.

I cared NOTHING for Yoomtah before writing this episode and by the time I was done I LOVED her

one of my fav artists drew this scene PERFECTLY and I now see it in their style whenever I read it

open/confirmed spoilers up ahead regarding Yoomtah:

so the whole “Yoomtah is a robot/cyborg who runs faster than anyone and has electric powers (?)” thing REALLY bothers me because Jello NEVER established that there was magic besides Epithets during the ENTIRE SHOW SO FAR (same with Phoenicia being a magical girl) and that’s just,,,, bbghdsjkg it took me a long time to go “okay, this was based on something else first, I get it, I can get used to the new rules” but gosh I just wish that had been set up better. then again I guess it’s nice that even the writers I admire the most make mistakes.

anyway, got off topic but I love how in the swap version, Yoomtah being a robot/cyborg/??? is just vaguely implied and never actually confirmed, it’s such a good running gag

also

I had. SUCH a hard time coming up with a reason for Sylvie and Yoomtah to have a rivalry, since Sylvie’s got no interest in construction work

and then literally my friend was like “isn’t Yoomtah the one who never sleeps?” and I was like “yeah, why— oh”

SEE? THINGS LIKE THIS. I THINK BUGSY & ARNOLD ARE MORE FUN AS OBVIOUSLY-CORRUPT COPS, AND I THINK YOOMTAH IS MORE FUN AS A CHAOTIC NEUTRAL WHO ISN’T ACTUALLY PART OF THE BAD GUY TEAM BUT IF YOU GET ON HER BAD SIDE SHE’LL TURN INTO YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE FOR .00092 SECONDS

idk I guess I just really like “characters who break the personality stereotypes of their moral alignments” which REALLY fits the rest of EE to a T

the case of the “golden buttocks”

I know I talk about this a lot but I was really so, so proud to finish this (& then the next script) on the deadline. I have discovered that shockingly enough, I like (creative) deadlines. Deadlines make me happy.

maybe I was fated to love EE just because of the opening intro or smth idk

#candaru liveblogs reading her own writing #epithet erased #epithet switched

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