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#which is also valid!! not everything has to be deep and beautiful
pallastrology · 5 months
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🍄 astro notes 🍄
venus biquintile pluto is a really interesting aspect. the biquintile is usually associated with creativity and the development of artistic ability, and with venus being involved, there is even more potential and a genuine love for art. the native will find happiness and connection through their creative pursuits. with pluto on the other end of the aspect, something interesting happens. there can be a tendency towards obsession; they are more dedicated and more patient, with a strong work ethic and a desire to find meaning through their art, and it can bring them real catharsis. they may discover and nurture repressed parts of themselves through their art, and overall, there is a bit of a darker theme to this otherwise light and bright placement.
moon square pluto is often given a really negative spin online; i’ve seen everything from emotionally out of control to “will abuse their children”! this just isn’t a helpful way to interpret harsh aspects. my experience with this placement is that big emotions are very frightening, often because of the native’s early experiences. they seek to “control” their emotions, which can make them quite vulnerable to impulsive or addictive behaviours. they often have a deep relationship with mother figures, and with their children, which yes, at their worst, can become enmeshed and intense. but at their best, these relationships are intimate and founded on mutual trust, long lasting and able to weather the harshest storms.
venus-saturn aspects are all about delayed gratification. the native has to grow into their loving, creative, social side, and they usually have to "grow through what they go through"; depending on the aspect, they may just feel a little different, or have no interest in relationships, or they may grow up lonely or isolated, or deal with unhealthy relationships. they have to do a lot of self-work to develop self-love and nurture the soft, creative side of themselves, before they can really feel at home around other people. but when they reach that point, they can build beautiful, devoted and ultimately very healthy connections with others, that allow all involved to really thrive.
pluto conjunct ascendant natives have a really intense gaze. i think that usually we only think of the eyes when they think of the pluto stare, but to me it goes a lot further than that; especially with the conjunction, pluto-ascendant people look with their whole body. they have the intense eye contact, sure, but they tend to also have a hard mouth and slightly furrowed brow, a certain tension in their jaws and necks. they look like a cat about to pounce in a way, you can almost see that electrical energy under their skin.
in astrology, the sextile and trine are considered to be harmonious aspects; they denote an easy, well-blended connection between the two planets involved. the sextile is steadier, and more prone to stagnation, which can look like complacency or even entitlement; the trine is more dynamic, meaning in a way, it's easier to bring out the positives of the aspect.
lilith in the tenth house is a placement that is very vulnerable when it comes to social media. nowadays, it's so normalised to post everything that it's almost radical to stay away from it, and with lilith in the tenth house, it's easy to feel validated and vindicated through what they post. unfortuntely they are easy targets for online abuse and can actually feed into and "bait" this kind of harmful interaction when hurting and angry. lilith in the tenth house needs to learn to find healthy outlets and become more reflective, less reactive.
uranus conjunct ascendant natives are bright, almost electrified. they can be prone to sudden epiphanies that show up in strange moments; sitting bolt upright in the middle of the night with a sudden realisation, for example. they can be chaotic, but when given space to breathe, they are brilliant, both in that they are clever and reflective with the energy to pull off everything they think up, and that they seem to sparkle. there is a clarity to their voice, their eyes, like they glow from within.
venus square the north node natives really struggle with being uncomfortable. they tend to be somewhat sensitive, and are irresistibly drawn to the beautiful, the soft and smooth. they just want to be comfortable, but this can lead to the native avoiding or dropping anything uncomfortable. if they want to grow and feel fuller in themselves, they will have to learn to thrive in challenging situations, without going too far in the opposite direction and not being able to listen to their instincts or enjoy anything in life.
libra suns with mercury in scorpio are an interesting mix, because they have the reflective sensitivity of libra and the stark and often quite brutal language of scorpio. they are often quite gifted writers, with a talent for the existential and deeply emotional. they aren’t as talkative as you’d expect a libra sun to be, and they are generally more somber, but with a dry, dark sense of humour and a disarming straightforwardness to them.
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not-goldy · 3 months
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Shout out to young JM who wanted Jk so bad it had him looking like a stage 3 clinger & shout out to Jk who has done everything in his power to keep that beautiful man once he had him & now a stage 6 clinger. Congrats. I keep thinking about when they were in NY the Megan BTB & how all those bags are sitting there & Jk instinctively grabs 2 and you see JM realizing Jk has his & doesn't have to get one, when the other members are holding theirs. SNIFFS. Its Jj carrying JM's bags & his shoes when they come off his feet. Rubbing his shoulders at any given point, cause one he wants to touch JM, but also knows JM is in pain all the time. Its him cooking the biggest pancake for JM & telling JM of course, you know I'll do it, when JM asked him to cook for him. Or only buying birthday presents for JM. Its him telling JM in front of the world, I'm your fan & hyping everything he does. Its him wanting to cut something cause he doesn't want JM's hand to get hurt or when Vmin were playing with a yoyo, it was JM who was given a lecture on Safety by Jk, about his fingers hurting & this is how accidents happen. Not a word when Tae was playing with it, but the minute JM gets it, his anxiety & boyfriending kicked in, just like when Tae was gonna flip his food & Jk said don't fling it at JM. Jk Coming after Suga with a Frying pan. Bulldozing RM out the way messing with JM. Physically moving Suga away from JM. Bulldozing past Tae to stand directly in front of JM & stare directly at him, when he was thanking Army for an award. Damn, he's just giving a TY speech, not accepting a nobel peace prize, Calm down. The way he guides JM walking up the steps or lets him walk ahead of him. The way he could hear the nervousness in JM's tone & he turns & nods and stares JM down giving his UN speech. Just reassuring JM with his little head nod, I'm here, beside you, you got this & if you notice it was when Jk turned to him when JM let out that deep breath/shudder & said sorry & had to shake it off. Just seeing JK's reassurance almost caused him to loose it. The way the others teased JM over it & Jk jumped to his defense, ready to take on all his Hyungs, but it was him in the end, who couldn't remember when he took a picture with Tae & said it was the day JM said sorry, it was all that stuck in his head. Every little detail he remembers. Even Jimin's grandma's birthday. There within 1 minute when JM called him on his bday live, dropping everyone. Even When he's missing JM he takes it public in front of millions and shows where his heart lies. Who owns his heart. Who he loves & doesn't care if he looks like a fool, as long as people know he's a fool in love. Look at how he chose the buddy system with JM, when he knew he had options & he & JM are complete opposites when it comes to thrill seeking. And how he has made himself look even more sus & clingy, by even saying anything about other branches (BTW his wants are valid and its very much okay if he wanted to do other things) but he still didn't go through with it & instead went through a timely process and enlisted with JM instead. Didn't even enlist on your own that would give you independence and thrills and instead followed JM with the buddy system to hell.
The things we do for love. And If he hasn't told JM yet that he is in love with him, which I am sure he has and or JM at least feels it, but if he hasn't, I hope he gets the courage too one day, cause doing all this, plus following someone to depths of hell, is an awful lot of loving on one person, for it to be for nothing. To do all this for someone, then go home empty handed. What a hell you have to live in that you created for yourself. FYI, I think JM is just as in love with Jk and he appreciates everything, because Letter says it & that he plans to give it all back, what he's received, and I know JM is a man of his word. In fact, I'd say Jk is pretty damn satisfied & gets it back, cause he's still there, standing next to JM, just like he promised. I've never rooted so hard in my life for two people, but these two, I hope it all works out for them and Whatever kind of love it is that they have for one another. I hope it lasts forever.
Damn the onions got my eyes😭😭😭😭🤧
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moni-logues · 7 months
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Kintsugi 7
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Pairing: Yoongi x reader
Genre: strangers-to-friends-to-lovers, non-idol!au, angst, smut, eventual fluff
Summary: In a fit of spiteful, post-break-up self-improvement, you sign up to a baking class. Yoongi, in a bid to appease his demanding girlfriend, signs up, too. Determined to make him your friend, you end up with more than you ever imagined.
Word count: 6.1k
Content: alcohol consumption, drunkenness, Yoongi POV!, also Yoongi is bi kthx
A/N: would you believe me if I said they actually have some fun in this chapter? LMAOOOO huge thanks to @here2bbtstrash for Yoongi's costume idea and @quarter-life-crisis2 for reading the first half of this when I needed validation but this has not been actually beta'd (so DO feel free to point out all my typos!)
Chapter Six | Masterlist | Chapter Eight
Chapter Seven – You! Me! Dancing! 
“Pleeeeaasasseeeeeeee,” you asked, holding your ‘please’ as long as you could, stretching your arms over the counter, clasping your hands together in front of him, doing your best at supplication. “Pretty, pretty please with a hundred cherries on top? And sprinkles and whipped cream and chocolate saaauuuuuuuuce?” 
“No.” 
“Even if I’ll love you the most out of everyone I know? You’ll be my most favouritest, bestest, bestest friend in the whole world?” 
“No.” 
“Yoongiiiiiiii,” you whined, your head dropping between your arms. “Please do this for me? You are the best, sweetest, funniest, coolest, nicest, most handsome, beautiful person in the whole world and I will love you forever and ever and ever and ever-” 
Yoongi’s mouth was tight as he tried to contain his grin and his eyes were narrowed. He loved to tease you, this you knew, and he hated it when you said nice things to him, which you also knew. You hadn’t thought it would take this much arm-twisting, but you were fully prepared to bring out the big guns if necessary.  
“No.” 
You clamped your hands around his wrists and leant in closer to him, pouting with your best puppy-dog eyes and wobbly bottom lip.  
“Pwease? Pwease, Yoongi, won’t you come to the party with me?” It was the best, most annoying baby voice you could manage and one he absolutely could not stand. If this didn’t break him, you might actually have had to go to the party by yourself after all.  
Yoongi took in a deep breath and left it out in a huff. 
“Fine.” 
You threw your hands up in the air and then he interrupted your cheers. 
“But I’m not wearing a fucking costume.” 
You would argue with him about that later, but you let yourself revel in the victory for that night. 
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It was as Taehyung had said: it was easier this time. It was easier now that you had committed to avoiding destructive coping mechanisms and decided to be honest with your therapist (and yourself). It was easier because you had finally accepted what your therapist had you explain months ago: that it wasn’t about Sungbin. He could have been anyone. It wasn’t about all those other men. It was about the black hole in your heart that wanted to suck up every second of someone’s attention and would still be left feeling empty. It was about your insatiable need to feel loved, whilst you continued to tell yourself you were unlovable. It was so not about Sungbin that you wanted to reach out and apologise to him (nobody thought this was a good idea, including you, but you wanted to). That would have been about you, too, not him. You were working on that. Properly this time. Honestly. Committedly. And it was having a strange effect on you.  
You supposed that it was ‘working’. This is what it meant to get better, to make progress, to ‘heal’ (even though that word made you sick). You felt strong. Some days you felt spiteful and bitter and hateful and irritable, but almost none of that was turned inwards towards yourself and you felt a little empowered by it, in a way you couldn’t quite make sense of. Yes, you hated everything on those days, and yes, you wanted to scream and shout and kick things, but it was defiant, it was defensive, it was a way of continuing to establish your existence on the earth. You would not be erased. All this time, you had wanted to kill yourself and hadn’t quite managed it, so you sure as shit weren’t going to let little things like Life and Existence and Capitalism take you down.  
You had found some fire. That little, tiny spark inside you, that the most treasured people in your life kept going, had found some tinder. It had grown. It was keeping you warm even as the days got shorter and the nights got colder. All that independence and self-sufficiency that you had so bitterly grasped at after the break-up with San was in your hands now. Suddenly, you felt almost like a capable adult. You could cook things—real things! Meals! With vegetables and home-made sauces!—you could take care of yourself. You could cope. You could, to your surprise, exist on your own.  
“Work it-” 
“-Better-” 
“Make it-” 
“-Faster-” 
“-...Do it-” 
“-Stronger-” 
“-...Makes us...-?” 
“-Better-” 
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” 
“Hey!” you exclaimed. “What?” 
Taehyung was looking at you as if you were insane and you had no idea why.  
“Those are... not the right words.” 
“What?” 
“You were singing that all wrong.” 
“No, I wasn’t! It doesn’t have correct words! They go all in different orders throughout the song!” 
“No, they don’t!” 
“Yes, they do!” 
Taehyung pressed two fingers to the bridge of his nose and took a dramatic sigh before turning to you, his hands on the arms of your chair. 
“My precious, sweet, little bean, how did I not know until now that you are this stupid?” 
“HEY!”  
You pushed him away as hard as you could and his chair slid back, knocking with more than just a little force into the office wall behind. Knocking into it hard enough to disturb the meeting that was taking place inside it. You both grimaced and waved apologies and leant forward to try to hide your giggles behind the desk partitions.  
“You are a fucking idiot!” Taehyung hissed at you. 
“Am not!” 
“Look up the song and then try tell me it doesn’t have correct words.” 
“No! I won’t!” 
“Because you don’t want to admit that you are wrong.” 
“Have I told you today that I hate you?” 
“Not yet; it’s only twenty-past ten.” 
“Well, I hate you.” 
“I love you, too, darling.” 
The song had been in honour of your feeling, as the song goes, harder, better, faster, stronger – or things vaguely approaching that. You were feeling better and stronger but maybe not faster, and the aim was to make things softer rather than harder, but the sentiment was there.  
Or it had been until Taehyung had taken the opportunity to call you an idiot, but it wouldn’t dampen your spirit. You were doing the hard work and doing it every day. That meant something. It meant that he could call you an idiot and you could laugh and not a single part of you would take it personally—a thing that might not have been true a couple of months ago.  
“Have you decided on your costume, by the way? You haven’t got long to sort it.” 
“Yeah,” you answered without enthusiasm. “Yoongi has point-blank refused to do a couples costume with me—I don’t even think he’s going to dress up at all—so I'm going to have to do something on my own. Can’t believe you’ve both abandoned me in my hour of need.” 
“Your hour of need is a halloween party?” 
“YES! My greatest hour of need is your halloween party where you’ve rejected me in favour of your stupid boyfriend and Yoongi has rejected me in favour of being a spoilsport! I cannot believe you would both treat me so cruelly.” 
“Take that up with Yoongi and Hyunjin. Not my problem.” 
“‘Not my problem’,” you scoffed. “It’s your fucking party!” 
“And I’ll uninvite you from it if you don’t stop being a git.” 
Not satisfied with having already annoyed everyone else in your office, you tipped your head back and did your shockingly accurate impression of a baby crying.  
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You heard Yoongi approaching down the corridor while you were preening in the mirror. You might have had to come up with, design, find clothes and accessories for this costume all on your own, but you didn’t think you had done such a bad job after all. Your dress fit you well, draping over your softest parts, pulled in at the waist, not really revealing but hinting. You had placed your hair just so and done the lightest make-up you could manage, all shimmer and highlight. You looked in the mirror and you thought you looked good. That felt nice.  
You turned around when you heard the beep of the keypad and could not contain your surprise. 
“He- oh! What?!” 
You moved to the doorway, looking at Yoongi with dismay. 
“What?” 
“What are you wearing?"  
“Clothes?” 
It was all black. Black on black on black. No headpiece, no props, no discernible character he might be playing. 
“I was holding out hope that you’d show up here in a proper costume but this is even worse!” You stomped your foot and fixed him with a glare. “You’re going to hide in a corner and not talk to anyone all night, aren’t you?” 
Yoongi grinned slowly at you, sly and triumphant and cheeky. 
“What makes you think this isn’t a costume?” 
That made you balk. 
“How is that a costume? I don’t know what you are!” 
“You’ll just have to wait and see, won’t you?” 
You stomped your foot again, biting back the grin threatening your face. Although you had done your damnedest to get him to agree to come, there was a niggling worry in the back of your brain that had been saying he wouldn’t have fun, that he wouldn’t enjoy it. He wasn’t a party guy, wasn’t a ‘show up to someone’s party where you know precisely one (1) person and have a good time anyway’ guy. He was shyer than he’d have liked people to know; he didn’t like loud parties with lots of people where there was no quiet place for him to escape to. You knew, when you were asking him to come, that you were asking him to do something he wouldn’t want to do. You knew, when you were asking him, that he would probably say yes anyway, because it was you. And you wanted him to come; you wanted him to be part of your world and your world included Taehyung and his halloween party. Yes, he and Taehyung had met before, but that was accidental. You were deliberately now drawing together the strings of your life. This was important to you.  
And here was Yoongi, grinning and teasing you about not wearing a costume and reminding you that he was a grown man who could make his own decisions and, tonight, he had decided to come to Taehyung’s halloween party with you and put his best foot forward. Even if maybe he really wasn’t  wearing a costume.  
You were planning to arrive fashionably late, as you had promised Taehyung you would, as part of your protest against his decision to couple costume with Hyunjin instead of you. Ordinarily, you showed up early, helped prepare, got ready with Taehyung, let him dress you and make you over how he liked. He treated you like a doll and that is the reason you enjoyed it so much. Not this time, though.  
As you walked from your apartment to Taehyung’s with Yoongi in tow, it hit you just how many things were different this year. No San, for a start. Yoongi. Hyunjin. It didn’t scare you. It didn’t hurt you.  
You grabbed Yoongi’s hand and swung it high between the two of you, skipping a little on your way. Yoongi merely smiled.  
The first person you saw when you entered was Taehyung’s travelling roommate. He was hardly ever home which meant you hardly ever saw him; the last time you had spent time together was pre-break-up. Because he was away so much, you couldn’t call yourselves ‘close’, but he was always a delight and always nice to you and there was something so easy about his company; the light jolt you felt at seeing him again was unexpected, but welcome.  
His being away so often made him the perfect person for Yoongi to meet. There were his friends here, too, but he was slightly on the periphery, not involved in the day-to-day of their lives while he was away; he could ease Yoongi into the circle. Of course, you were supposed to be doing that, too, but without Taehyung literally by your side, you didn’t feel quite so confident. They were all his friends, not yours. Not really. 
“Taemin!” you cried, making a beeline straight for him. “What the fuck are you?!” 
Taemin laughed, a little embarrassed, and hugged you hello. He gave you a spin—his white, fluffy tail lashing out behind him—and daintily pawed over one of his white ears. 
“I’m Daengie! Can’t you tell?!”  
He span again and you couldn’t help but laugh. 
“Only you would dress up as your own fucking cat.” 
“Hey! We’re cute!”  
He had a point.  
“Who’s this?” he asked, gesturing to Yoongi, politely. 
“Oh! Yoongi, this is Taehyung’s roommate, Taemin. Taemin, this is Yoongi.” 
“Boyfriend?” Taemin asked, shaking Yoongi’s hand but looking at you. 
“No!” 
“No-” 
You spoke over each other in your joint panic to answer, to set the record straight. You were off boyfriends and it felt important for as many people to know that as possible. It was A Thing you were doing now. No boyfriends. Spread the word. 
“So, you’re single?” Taemin asked, looking this time at Yoongi. 
“Yes.” 
Taemin smiled, his eyes disappeared, and he gave an approving hum, quickly flicking his eyes over Yoongi.  
“And what are you dressed as, Yoongi?”  
You did not miss the glint in Taemin’s eyes. 
“Ah, you’ll find out later,” was Yoongi’s answer and he looked quickly over to you. You grinned. 
“A reveal?” Taemin fake-gasped. “I’m intrigued! But you must not, under any circumstances, steal Taehyung’s thunder, ok? It would destroy him.” 
“Steal his thunder...?” 
“Yeah,” you butted in. “Every year, we-… Every year, he and whoever he’s dressing up with make a grand entrance. It’ll be fun to watch this time, instead of doing it.” 
“Yes, and it’s very important to Taehyung that he is the star of the show.” 
Yoongi nodded. “I have no intention of being the star of any show or stealing any thunder. I promise.” 
“Then I’m sure you’ll get on fine.” 
“Anyway,” you began pointedly, picking up the hem of your skirt between your fingers and twirling slightly. “Don’t you want to say anything about my costume?”  
“Of course!” Taemin cried. “You look even more beautiful than the real Aphrodite herself.” 
“What?! I’m not Aphrodite!”  
Taemin looked to Yoongi for support; Yoongi shrugged.  
“But you look so beautiful! Who else could you be?” 
“I’m Cupid, you morons!”  
You raised your bow and home-made arrow with the heart-shaped tip and you hit them both with it. 
“Look at me! Obviously, I’m Cupid. I can’t be Aphrodite because everyone falls in love with her automatically. I am Cupid, so I can go around and shoot people with my arrow and make them fall in love with me!” 
Yoongi and Taemin exchanged a look, then both looked at you, and back at each other. 
“You know that’s not how Cupid works,” Yoongi stated. 
“What do you mean?” 
“Cupid doesn’t make people fall in love with him; he shoots two people and makes them fall in love with each other,” Taemin explained. 
The realisation dawned on you. Yes, that is how Cupid worked. You knew that. You definitely already knew that. Yet, somehow, between the moment the costume first occurred to you and this very second, that knowledge did absolutely nothing to make its presence known to you.  
You nodded. You tucked your lips into your mouth and breathed out hard.  
“Cool,” you said, nodding some more. “Cool cool cool.” Then you wailed. “I can’t believe I got my own costume wrong!”  
You threw your bow to the ground and Yoongi and Taemin laughed. 
“Ok, let me get some drinks so you can drown your sorrows.” Taemin wandered off into the kitchen. 
You knocked your forehead onto Yoongi’s shoulder and whined some more. 
“Am I stupid?” you asked. 
You felt him chuckle and a hand came up to pat your back. 
“Yeah... But it’s ok; Aphrodite is Greek and Cupid is Roman, so Taemin was also kind of wrong. Should’ve called you Venus.” 
You lifted your head and looked at him.  
“What?” he asked when you still hadn’t said anything seconds later.  
“Why do you know so many things?” 
His bashfulness stifled another chuckle and he shrugged.  
You whined for the last time and pouted until Yoongi squished your face between his fingers. Then you took the cup Taemin had returned with and took a long gulp. It didn’t really matter. A costume was a costume. You could pretend to be Aphrodite or Venus or some other vaguely classical character—no one would know or care, except you. You couldn’t let it ruin your evening. Especially not this one, the one you’d dragged Yoongi to, the one you had built up expectations for in your head for weeks now. It was going to go right. Come hell or high water, it would be fun. 
“How long do we have to wait for the big entrance?” Yoongi asked. 
You had already opened your mouth to answer but Taemin got there first, smirking just a little and looking unfathomably cute as he did it. 
“Just long enough for us to get to know each other a little better!”  
Then he hooked his arm through Yoongi’s and tapped his cup against his. Yoongi looked a little surprised but you didn’t attempt to rescue or reassure. Taemin was both utterly charming and completely harmless. 
He led most of the conversation, asking Yoongi about himself, reciprocating with his own answers; you did your best not to speak for both of them at once. You distracted yourself looking at everyone else: their costumes, the successes or failures therein, looking for people you most recognised, peering at those you didn’t. It struck you, again, that this year was different. You had literally never done this without Taehyung before. You looked at the two men next to you and realised maybe you did have other people; you weren’t alone after all. You would have to remember to tell Taehyung. 
Then the music cut and a spotlight (where did Taehyung get a spotlight from?) lit up the central living space, which had been cleared of all furniture. Out of rising dry ice (where had he got that?), Taehyung and Hyunjin appeared.  
A pencil moustache, slicked down hair, perfectly tailored trousers. Long, sleek black hair, a dress, tight, and sparkling, the fairest skin and reddest lips.  
“Wow,” you breathed, transfixed as they took to their spots and the music started.  
You were surprised by how gracefully Taehyung moved. You were not surprised by Hyunjin’s grace because he seemed to be one of those people that was just good at everything, but they moved together, as one; they acted the parts with conviction. When Hyunjin, as Morticia, stood before your little trio and reached out to ever so lightly caress Yoongi’s cheek, you noticed him gulp and you could’ve sworn that you saw, even in the shadows against the spotlight, the tips of his ears redden. When Taehyung pulled Hyunjin back, Yoongi emptied his cup. 
“Holy shit,” you exhaled when they had finished and the applause had ended. “Well, no wonder he didn’t want me to do the couple costume with this year; there’s no way I could have done that.” 
“I was just about to ask,” Yoongi replied. “I didn’t know you were a dancer.” 
“I am so not.” 
“Well, I am and I can’t believe he didn’t ask me,” Taemin interjected. “It is my job!” 
“Yeah, but you’re not Teddy’s boyfriend.” 
“Alas.” 
“So, that’s uh, Hyunjin?” Yoongi queried. 
“That’s Hyunjin. Most beautiful man in the world probably.” 
“Definitely.” 
Yoongi’s gaze still looked a little far-off and you could see his eyes sweep the room for Hyunjin. Taemin sighed beside him, also looking into the crowd for Morticia.  
“Can’t believe we’re all secretly in love with Teddy’s boyfriend. What a tragic situation we’re all in.” 
“None more than you,” Yoongi said. “Taehyung would never let you third.” 
“Hey!” 
“He’s gay, right? Taemin and I at least stand a chance.” 
Taemin cackled beside Yoongi and held his hand up for a high-five which Yoongi freely gave him.  
“My life is pathetic,” you groaned, looking up to the ceiling. You went to walk away and then did a quick about-turn. “Not that I want to be involved in any kind of threesome involving Teddy, let’s be clear. I absolutely do not, in any way, want to do anything even remotely sexual with him. I would rather die, ok? Hyunjin? Sure, no one’s kicking him out of bed, but this is a hall pass situation only. You guys do what you want with the both of them, but I am out if it’s a threesome.” 
You were very pleasantly tipsy. Maybe a little more than tipsy. It was getting hot in the apartment and you snuck on to the balcony in hopes of some cooling air. You were relieved to find it empty and you leant heavily over the railing, looking at the street below.  
You’d been there no more than a few seconds when you heard the door slide open. 
“Found you.”  
Yoongi leant on the railing next to you. 
“Are you having fun?” 
Yoongi grinned. 
“Taemin asked if I wanted to see his cats.” 
You had made the mistake of taking a sip of your drink, which you promptly inhaled and choked back up. Yoongi laughed and gave you a hard slap on the back. You replied when soju had stopped coming out of your nose. 
“When you say ‘see his cats’, do you mean actually see his cats or...?” 
Yoongi laughed again. 
“Actually see his cats.” 
You linked your arm with his and rested your head on his shoulder. 
“Of course. I had forgotten you’re a catboy.” 
“Stop!” Yoongi groaned, unable to stop himself laughing. “Don’t do that.” 
“You’re my little catboy!” 
“Noooo! I only have a cat. I like cats. I’m not a catboy.” 
“Whatever you say, sugar. For the record, though, I reckon Taemin would ask you to see his cats... If you wanted.” 
He shook his head.  
“No, thank you.” 
“You sure? Have you seen him dance? I reckon he’d be good-good, y’know?” 
He shook his head again. 
“I would not, first thing upon arriving at your friend’s party, fuck his roommate. Besides, the whole one-night stand thing...” 
“Yeah, it kind of sucks. It’s not for me.” 
“But hey, you have it a really good try.” 
You snorted and took another sip of your drink. 
“That I did. And never again. And, y’know, not one of those pricks ever called.” You were joking now, because you knew that you didn’t really want them to call, but it had hurt at the time. You turned around, your back to the street and Yoongi smiled at you. 
“Idiots.” 
“Definitely. You know who else is an idiot?” you asked, but Yoongi returned no answer, save for a raised brow. “Your fucking ex-girlfriend.” 
He rolled his eyes. 
“She was worse than an idiot. Your ex was an idiot, though.” 
You shrugged. 
“Eh, I don’t know; I don’t blame him.” 
“Then you are the idiot. Maybe that’s why they all didn’t call.” 
“I would have called me. I’m great, don’t you know?” 
“I do know. I would call you.” 
“Yeah; I’d call you! Because we’re great. We’re great!” 
Yoongi laughed and held his cup to you; you bumped your own against it. Then you tipped them both back and drained them.  
“For the record, just so you know,” you began, holding a finger up and pointing vaguely at him, “Teddy would not mind at all if you fucked Taemin.” 
Yoongi only shook his head again. 
“Smart. Save yourself for Teddy and Hyunjin.” 
It was Yoongi’s turn to choke on his drink.  
“I’m not sure trying to fuck your best friend and his boyfriend would do much to ingratiate me with them.” 
“Oh, you don't know Teddy well enough.” You laughed. “The more sex, the better, as far as Teddy’s concerned, regardless of who's having it!”  
“Well, in that case, I’ve got somewhere to be—you cool out here on your own?” 
Yoongi turned and started to move off, back into the party. You grabbed his arm and tugged him backwards. 
“No, I’m not! Don’t leave me!” 
He tripped over his own foot as he stepped back to the railing and it was only then that you noticed the bright flush of his cheeks, the black of his pupils blown wide against his irises, the easiest of easy grins on his face. 
“Hey, mister, you’re drunk!” 
As if to prove a point, he took a long, performative gulp from his (empty) cup and dropped it to the floor with a bow. 
“It’s a party; isn’t that what I’m supposed to be?”  
“You’re even drunker than I am!” 
“I do know how to have fun, y’know.”  
You thought he was teasing, not really wounded, but there was a slight dim in the glint of his eyes and he turned to look out over the street below so you hurried to overcorrect. 
“I know! We have fun! Obviously I know you’re fun! I just... I guess I was just worried you wouldn’t have fun. That you only came for me.” 
“Of course I only came for you. Doesn’t mean I’m not enjoying myself. I’ve been to parties before. I do have other friends.” 
“Yeah, I keep forgetting that most people have more than two friends. I’m glad you came.” 
Before it could descend into true squabbling nonsense, the door slid again and Taehyung leant out.  
“Stop hiding out here, fuckers; outside is for the smokers. Come in and have some fun!” 
He didn’t even wait for you to respond before turning back into the apartmet, leaving the door open. 
“Shall we?” you asked, gesturing widely. 
“Let’s shall!” 
You were hot. And drunk. And dancing. Just like everybody else in this humid, dark room. Yoongi included. You watched him, scream-singing with Taemin, jumping as his cup sloshed his drink onto floor—your Yoongi. He had come to be associated, for you, with both comfort and sadness. It was serious, somehow, this friendship, even when you were laughing; there was something deep and dark and it held you close together. You were mirrors. All your sadness, all your darkness, all your deepest parts reflecting back at each other. But where was all that darkness now? Now, it was all bright, all moving, sparkling, shining parts. Who could possibly look at him and think he could be as sad as you knew he sometimes was? As you sometimes were. 
Sometimes used to be. Because you were getting better now. You were. A lump formed in your throat as you tried to screech a chorus and it muted you. It almost brought a tear to your eye: this happiness, this revelry, this community, this party, this friendship, this healing. This. You had to take a strong shot of something vile-tasting to make it go away. 
You continued to shout your voice hoarse and drink too much and stumble through your dance moves. You accidentally kissed Taemin on the mouth—which surprised you more than it did him—and then spent five minutes insisting you didn’t want to sleep with him before realising he was winding you up. You danced with Taehyung; you cornered Hyunjin and asked him about his skincare routine until he needed to be rescued. You fished Daengie out of hiding in Taemin’s bedroom and made the two of them do a mother-daughter photoshoot. You had more fun than you had had for a while.  
You watched Yoongi have fun, too. You watched him let Taemin lead him on the dancefloor; you watched him play (and lose) a drinking game against someone whose name you had forgotten. You sang directly into each other’s faces and drank from each other’s cups just because. You felt full: of fun, of friendship, of altogether way too many marshmallow ghosts. 
People had left, the lights had been switched back on; the party had ended. You were trying to scoop Yoongi into a standing position, grumbling to yourself about why it always had to be you propping up the drunk guy. 
“I ’n go ‘ome,” Yoongi slurred with one arm slung around your shoulder, the other hand close to the ground as he failed to find his feet. “Ge’ taxi.” 
Taehyung tapped you on the shoulder. 
“He can stay here, too, if you like.”  
You groaned a thank you as he sloped off towards his bedroom with a backwards wave and you heaved Yoongi onto the sofa (which had previously had your name on it).  
“Honey, you’re not going home,” you told him as you rolled him onto his side. “You can stay here.” 
He tried to protest, to roll himself forwards, to argue something. Unfortunately for him, he was so drunk, his argument was barely intelligible; you simply pushed him back onto the sofa and told him again he was staying at Taehyung’s. 
“Hey,” he said throwing a hand in the air as if he was trying to point at you. “Y’ here.” 
“Yes, I’m here.” 
“Good... Yeah, ’s good. Y’ good.” His eyes were barely open, but he smiled sleepily at you. “I like you..." He chuckled. “You’re... good.” 
“Thank you; you’re good, too.” 
He snorted lightly and chuckled again. “Yeah... Best... Be-”  
As if hit by lightning, he sat up and looked at you, eyes wide. 
“Costume!” 
“Costume?” 
He gestured to himself. 
“M’ costume. D’y’ guess yet?” 
“You’re not in a costume, babe. You can stop pretending.” 
He looked outraged and continued to gesture at his clothing. 
“This!” he cried.  
“You are literally so drunk, love, I don’t even know what the fuck you are talking about.” 
“’Xactly.” 
“What?” 
“Drunk.” Yet more gestures to his clothes; he picked at his T-shirt and ruffled it. “Loads.” 
“You’re so drunk... you’re wearing black?” 
He groaned loudly and clutched at your hands.  
“Yes,” he said, slowly and deliberately, emphatically even. You couldn’t believe he had somehow become the one who knew what was going on. He was so impatient with your inability to apparently put two and two together, even while he was falling-down drunk, so drunk he could barely manage a full sentence. So drunk he was barely conscious. So dru- 
“Oh, fuck me!” you exclaimed. “You’re blackout drunk.” 
Yoongi fell back onto the sofa with his hands in the air. He threw a hand up to his face in what you thought might have been an attempt at a peace sign.  
“See? Fuckin’ costume.” 
Then he closed his eyes and was, you assumed, fully unconscious. You turned away, on a new mission to hunt down some blankets or pillows from one of the Taes who shared the apartment. Yoongi mumbled and you ignored it but his mumbling took on a more insistent, deliberate note so you returned to him. 
“Are you trying to say something to me, sweetheart?” 
Yoongi nodded—just barely—and his hand lunged forward, aiming for the hand you had rested on his shoulder, missing, and hitting himself slightly around the face. You took it gently for him and he mumbled some more, with effortful enunciation. 
“You’re th’ best thing to happ’n t’ me this year. The best thing.” 
You smiled. 
“No, that would be breaking up with your cunt ex-girlfriend.” 
Yoongi shook his head with a glazed smile on his face. 
“But that was you, too.”  
He smiled a little wider, open-mouthed, and kind of weird with his eyes still mostly closed, then his head fell back against the cushion and his entire body slumped. You waited a minute just to make sure he was unconscious this time. 
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Yoongi woke, if you could call it that. His tongue felt too big for his mouth, his brain too big for his skull. His limbs felt heavy and rubbery, as if he couldn’t quite make them go where he wanted. He was thirstier than he’d ever been and his bladder uncomfortably full. He didn’t know what time it was; he couldn’t remember where he was; his memory of the preceding night was scant and hazy. His eyelids felt heavy as lead as he tried to force them open. The first thing he saw was your face opposite him: you were sleeping on the floor. He felt bad for that. He couldn’t remember falling asleep, couldn’t remember ending up on this sofa but he knew he should never have let you end up on the floor. He’d have moved if he’d been able, forced you to swap places. As it was, he could barely shuffle enough to find his phone in his pocket.  
It was only 6am. He was in half a mind to get up and leave. The other half of his mind let him know he wasn’t physically capable of f movement, not even close. Barely able to think straight, he let his head flop back against the cushion again; he could sleep a little longer, just a little. And then he would go. 
‘A little’ became four hours and when Yoongi woke for a second time (feeling marginally more human) and blinked his eyes open, you weren’t opposite him any longer. He stared at the empty space on the floor as he tried to will his brain back into his body.  
Then he heard noises from elsewhere in the apartment, some quiet talking, the chink of china against china, your laugh. So you were still here. That was good. Yoongi shuffled onto his front and peered over the arm of the sofa, from where he could see just a small slice of the kitchen through the doorway. He focused and could hear you and Hyunjin chatting low, laughing as you moved around the room. There was a stab of anxiety that made him worry you were laughing about him, at him; large sections of the night had not made their way back to Yoongi so he had no idea what kind of stupid thing he might have done or said. You wouldn’t do that; he knew you wouldn’t do that. And yet. 
A door to Yoongi’s right opened and Taehyung padded out in slippered feet. Yoongi froze, embarrassed, unsure, but Taehyung didn’t even see him on his way to the kitchen, still bleary-eyed and waking up. Yoongi could imagine what he couldn’t see: a morning kiss for Hyunjin, their sleepy smiles, hands clasping, their tired bodies leaning into each other for support. He heard your chipper greeting (“Teddy!” with the long drawn-out final vowel as always) and saw in his head the way your arms would stretch out for a hug with Taehyung’s stretching back; he’d kiss you on the head and ruffle your hair and take the cup of coffee from your hand to drink from rather than drinking his own. 
He was happy you had Taehyung. He didn’t know what it was like to have that kind of bond with someone. The rock solidness of it. The stability. The assuredness. The way he’d never, not once, seen even the slightest hint of doubt whenever you spoke about Taehyung. The way you knew he was there, would always be there; the way he was. That your faith in him was in every part a reflection of the reality of your friendship.  
It ached in him, this loneliness Yoongi felt. He was on the outside here, in Taehyung’s apartment, in this little social circle, but sometimes he felt on the outside of all life. Like he was missing something vital—within himself or without he could never decide. Maybe both.  
Then he chastised himself – all the more harshly for his hangover – because he had friends, good friends, kind friends, who did not deserve him self-indulgently whining to himself about how he didn’t have a good enough friend, didn’t have a Taehyung, as if he would ever have let anyone get close enough to be a Taehyung.  
He sighed and stopped watching that slice of life, resting his forehead on his arm, working out how to get out of this as quickly and quietly as possible. He was gathering strength for it, for seeing everyone, for facing people, for having to do the awkward goodbye thing where no one really cared that he was there or that he was leaving but they’d all pretend that they’d even notice his absence, when he heard your voice again, louder this time. 
No, not louder. 
Closer. 
“Hello, you.” You held out your mug to him. “Want some coffee?” 
Chapter Six | Masterlist | Chapter Eight
Taglist: @chimmisbae, @idkjustlovingbts @miriamxsworld, @quarter-life-crisis2, @tarahardcore, @simp47koreancrackheads, @xyahrinx, @olyd, @diorh0seokie, @thelilbutifulthings 
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candygalaxyyy · 1 year
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I realized something very important about msp and the screenwriter/director’s choice in building the plot. And episode 10 is a great example.
As i was rewatching the brilliance that is episode 10, I thought to myself if this was any other standard bl it would have gone differently. A tumor is such a serious matter, especially when it’s your mother, the only immediate family Gun has, he’s only 17/18 and he lost his father at a young age in such a sudden way. So of course he is going to be upset or even mad when his mum keeps this from him. And Tinn being in on it too, because in a relationship being open is so important and trust/honesty is everything.
I also noticed that Gun may have felt insecure (or possibly threatened) by the fact that his mum and Tinn kept this secret from him (which are valid feelings). Mostly because he says things like: “stay the hell out, she’s my mum”, “I’m your son yet i had no idea you were sick”, “what did he do for you?” and “why are you adoring him so much?” (He doesn’t even say Tinn’s name because in this situation he’s an outsider, he’s not her son or family member). And at this point Gun doesn’t know that his mum knows about Tinn and him or about all the sweet things Tinn has done for his dream. So him being confused/insecure/upset is warranted because he only has his mum. He is possessive of his mum, because they only have each other and her trusting someone else who isn’t family with such a important thing is puzzling for Gun (even more with him thinking she doesn’t know). And the best part about all of this is that both Tinn and Gun’s mum knew it would upset him, so they came prepared for his reaction. Gun’s mum explains everything to Gun instantly and makes him realize how deep and true Tinn’s love is for him, plus she emphasizes that this type of love is rare and must be cherished. Tinn doesn’t get angry or hurt by his reaction, he understands it and even reassures him that he would react the same way.
GMMTV could have easily used this to create tension for drama and conflict. They could have thrown in some trusty miscommunication, a heated conversation where people say or do hurtful things, a gateway to the ‘cursed ep 11 breakup’ and they could have milked the f out of this conflict. But they didn’t!!! Instead they turned it into a touching episode about love, friendship, family and being thankful for the people around you. They used it to highlight six things:
1. The beautiful relationship between Gun and his mum. They rely on each other, care for each other and love each other. They are mother and son, they are family.
2. The deep and pure love Tinn has for Gun. It is unconditional. Tinn did all these things for him without expecting anything in return. He just wants his crush/now boyfriend to be happy!
3. Gun realizing that Tinn is precious and he means much more to him than he lead on. That this is not some little high school relationship, it’s much deeper and heavier than that. So deep that he comes to the revelation that he’s only singing his song for Tinn and not the competition.
4. Gun’s mum supporting her son in everything whether it be his dream or love life. And the growing mother-in-law and son-in-law relationship between her and Tinn, like this woman already trust him with her life. She’s planning the wedding as we speak.
5. Their friends are amazing. Tiw constantly supporting his bestie and giving him advice. The chinchillaz boys comforting and hugging Gun on stage when he finds out his mum his safe and the surgery went well.
6. TINNGUN ARE THE HEALTHIEST, SWEETEST AND MOST BEAUTIFUL SWOONWORTHY BOYFRIENDS IN BL HISTORY.
‘My school president’ is truly a gem and GMMTV hit the jackpot with GeminiFourth. Case closed.
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xelasrecords · 1 year
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V and Jumin's Emotionally Distant Friendship
At first I wanted to laugh at Jumin roasting his friend for being pretty outside but empty inside but then what V said got me thinking
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2 important statements here: 1) V believes that a friendship is a mirror that reflects oneself and 2) Jumin sees V as an empty statue, beautiful but hollow inside, something that people could only fleetingly appreciate before moving on to a more interesting thing because it has no depth. V agrees with Jumin, and even if we don't know whether Jumin believes in V's mirror analogy, it is true for them.
V and Jumin are lonely because the ones they love and claim to love them back never bother to know them deeply. They have the same insecurity, but their coping mechanism is different. V uses Rika to define himself as the man who could love grandly and withstand any trials and tribulations in the name of love. Jumin closes himself from everyone and projects his unhealthy definition of love onto his cat, building up the fantasy that it could understand him like a human would.
But once the illusion is shattered—that neither of them could give a perfect love because perfection doesn't exist—they break inside. V spirals into existential crisis while Jumin refuses to take back his cat that ran away from him. They share a common belief that their love has to be perfect. They have to be the best or they would be a failure. This is what Jumin says after he finally agreed to take back Elizabeth the 3rd due to V's persuasion:
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But because V and Jumin are living in their own fantasies, how could they be there for each other? How could they look into each other's emptiness and recognise how lonely the other really is, and offer emotional support when they've never learned how to do so?
The emotional closeness doesn't exist in their friendship because they can't cross the bridge. They have a shared history and deep trust, but when there's a pressing matter in the present, they don't quite know how to strengthen each other, and what is a best friend if you can't be there for them when they need it the most?
Below is one of the examples where V thinks Jumin only ever keeps one thing from him when Jumin's biggest secret is actually his feelings for Rika that he had to hide to honour his best friend's relationship:
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It's sad for everyone involved. V is blissfully ignorant and thankful that Jumin still trusts him despite his self-isolating secrets, while Jumin can't even show that he's also just as lonely. They can't lean on each other when they need to.
Sure, Jumin could get the best doctors for V due to his connections and V could persuade Jumin keep Elizabeth the 3rd because he knows him best. They were helpful on a surface level but the emotional job falls solely on the MC, which could be romantic if you look at it in a "wow there's only one person who could change them" way, but isn't it heartbreaking to have a friend so close to you yet feel so far away? Romantic love is important, but platonic friendship is just as meaningful. The trust and deep understanding of each other's nature are already there, so what they need to do is simply nurture their friendship and go to therapy.
On a more positive note, Jumin and V see their counterpart as the better person. V may believe that a friendship cannot change him since it's only a mirror, but if he sees Jumin as inherently better, doesn't that reflect his opinion on himself? They believe in themselves and feel their decisions validated because they trust each other. Jumin only decides to keep Elizabeth the 3rd because he values V's opinion highly, which in turn makes him better in accepting himself. V is always thankful for Jumin's unwavering trust, which pushes him to be a better person because he wants to be more like him.
Their selflessness is also a mirror. Who else but V and Jumin who would drop everything for the safety of the RFA? V would literally give up his life and Jumin would give up his C&R position and take the fall for the RFA.
I hope after their respective good endings, they'll learn to be vulnerable and open up. Their friendship will be more fulfilling and their trust will be strengthened because of it.
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darkcircles4lyfe · 2 months
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hi hello ive just come from your enneagram 9 izuku post and i am just OVERWHELMED with joy & excitement after reading it, everything you said just feels so RIGHT!!
(i am a nine myself & have always felt weirdly attached to izuku in that he felt soso similar to me in such a weirdly specific way but i couldn't really explain why i just Got Him until now, so thanks for that little boost of validation lol)
with your post in mind, i couldn't stop thinking about this line from 412 and it got me curious if you had any additional thoughts on it/read it the same way i did:
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the moment i read this line i immediately took a screenshot & filed it away in my Important Izuku Moments file, like idk! the wording of it, the way he's talking about shigaraki but could SO easily be talking about himself, that honestly devastating panel of the tears in his eyes...
we've gotten plenty of hints about izuku's emotional suppression (that 'heroes dont cry' scene with iida & todoroki, his flashback of all might telling him to 'stop being such a cry baby' during the afo fight, the whole 'control your heart' plotline...) but THIS line in particular feels so significant for some reason. maybe cause this could easily be izuku recognizing himself in/through shigaraki? maybe bc it is so close to izuku acknowledging the lid hes put on his own sad & lonely past? maybe bc this is the closest we've ever gotten to izuku saying i'm not okay, even if he isn't actually talking about himself yet?
im trying really hard not to ramble too much in your inbox lol, but everything you said in your post about tomura & izuku really hit home for me, i think you're so right about them. and this line in particular is what makes me think we really are going to see some version of tomura being the one to finally break through (Decay) izuku's emotional blocks & barriers (something something locked door imagery), and that just makes me really excited. for both of them :')
YAY!! I’m so glad to hear you resonated with it. It’s otherwise a bit of a “if you know you know” sort of situation, and it felt good to actually explain it.
I had a “!” moment with that panel too, and also when he says he’s determined to break through Tomura’s barrier, expose and acknowledge his pain.
My immediate thought was, “Oh hey, I’m definitely not making this shit up after all, because Horikoshi is obviously intending to confront the concept of bottling up your emotions/your past. He literally just stated it. We're on the same page.” While it didn’t directly confirm anything about Izuku, it's at least something he is aware of, which is an important first step. There's a line in Sleeping At Last's 'Nine' that I was thinking about a lot as I was writing the latter part of that post: "I'm just trying to find myself through someone else's eyes," which speaks to a need for Tomura to be Izuku's mirror, so that he can see himself.
Also, the revelation that Izuku is clinging to the idea that everyone has a "human heart" deep down is pretty clearly applicable to himself too, implying that he's dealing with a lack of self worth (a lot of Japanese fans were talking about this, and I think it doesn't come across as easily in English). I really love how Kudou clarified that Izuku is not naive for this. It's not the same as being blissfully ignorant to how cruel people can be. It's more like, "I need to believe in the worth of others or else I can't believe in myself." That's... so painful and beautiful.
I'm also excited for what comes next! Very soon!
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thehappyvet · 7 months
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Can we remind ourselves that Greta gerwig is co-writing this.
Greta gerwig.
Who directed ladybird, a beautiful coming of age story about a young girl and her relationship with her mum and everything her mum does to keep them afloat and the contrast between her daughters ability to aim for something 'better' due to that stability.
Who directed little women, which shows all the different ways a woman can contribute to the world and how all of them (from being a writer to raising a family and being a stay at home wife) are real and just as valid as each other.
Who just directed Barbie, the absolutely iconic movie that's the first billion a female director has pulled in, which shows that the patriarchy is bad for men and women and that gal's can be anything but so can guys and also that no matter what a woman does in the real world it's always the wrong choice and nothing is ever good enough if you're female (please read that when you're criticising poor rachel).
Like, chill guys. Greta has been able to do justice to female stories consistently over the years. Disney's live action money grab and c minus feminism attempt is not going to impact her ability to tell a really good story.
Just because you saw some short snippets of long interviews twisted together to force rachel into the Annoying Female Trope does not mean this movie is ruined because of her. If anything you probably need to take a couple of deep breaths and take a break from some screen time 💕
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indigostarfire · 11 months
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Our Dining Table episode 6
Thoughts on why this show has such a hold on me and moves me deeply.
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First of all the Christmas holiday is painful for both Yutaka and Minoru. Yutaka never felt a part of his family, and Minoru never had any time to do what normal people his age would do, like go to college or pursue a potential love interest. He was too busy working or taking care of Tane. (In dramas Christmas is often depicted as a holiday that couples go out on dates.)
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Tane never really knew his mother so Minoru goes out of his way to cook their mother’s unique recipes—ramen fried rice when you’re down and disappointed, or yuzu udon when you’re sick. This is Minoru’s way of letting Tane know their mother. This is how much he loves Tane and how important the family is to Minoru. There are consequences for these choices Minoru has made but he is willing to accept them.
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That’s why it’s so lovely at the end of this episode when Minoru makes yuzu udon for our ailing Yutaka. He gets to share a bit of his mother through her food. And then Yutaka responds by saying that the yuzu udon has a “yasashii aji” which literally translates to “kind flavor” and once again I’m teary-eyed. Yutaka is basically saying “what a kind and caring mother you have and I can tell just by eating her food” which not only validates Minoru’s choices but also he gets to see that his mother’s spirit lives on through her food and can touch another individual…someone who is important and who he just happens to be in love with.
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Getting back to Christmas, it was painful but everything changes with with the prospect of Yutaka and Minoru spending this day together. Yutaka is included in a family that enjoys and values his company. And for once Minoru has a “taisetsuna” (important) person in his life and who he wants to go on a Christmas date with. Seeing their happy faces is so heartwarming. It just fills me with a deep joy because they are such a healing presence for each other.
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Then at the end of this episode there’s that moment when we see that both Yutaka and Minoru bought each other scarves. I burst into tears when I realized that scarves insulate us from the cold and that’s what Yutaka and Minoru do for each other.
Yutaka is insulated from the memories of his cold past, and Minoru is insulated from his cold and isolating present where other people make him feel bad due to Tane’s interruptions or spilling things; this in addition to being unable to pursue a love interest which is isolating because he’s too busy being a caretaker. But they are each other’s scarf. They insulate one another from the cold and isolation, and provide the warmth of a kind and loving heart.
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It’s just so beautiful to see the interlocking dynamics of these two characters. How each of their personal wounds rise to the surface but then are healed because of kindness and understanding. And there’s something about how the mundane things in life like cooking and eating can bring people together. Perhaps this is what is so touching and beautiful—that sharing these ordinary, mundane moments with another, can be surprising and make life joyful, heartwarming, and profoundly healing.
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pluckyredhead · 3 months
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My Favorite Comics of 2023
Sometimes I think I should review all the comics I read as I read them. Then I realize I read like...40 comics a month and decide to not do that. But I figured I could at least round up my favorite books of 2023!
So as not to bury the lede...
My Favorite Comic of 2023: Green Arrow
Was there ever any question? All I have ever wanted for like 20 years at this point is Arrowfamily shenanigans, and this book has been all about reassembling the gang and letting them romp through the DC universe. This is an Ollie who is overflowing with love and bad ideas, and that's perfect. Every character and relationship has gotten a chance to shine so far, and I can't wait until they bring the girls in. I especially love how clear it is that Roy is Williamson and Izaakse's favorite. ME TOO, GUYS, ME TOO. The fact that this is now an ongoing instead of a limited series is the best gift DC could have given me.
The rest of my faves...
Alan Scott: The Green Lantern: I did not expect to be as moved by this book as I am. The overall plot is a bit hard to follow, but that's not really the point of the comic. What blows me away every issue is how unflinching and occasionally brutal the book is in its portrayal of 1940s-era homophobia, including Alan's internalized self-hatred, and yet how simultaneously incredibly kind the book is. The love and validation, especially in #2 and #3, is so generous and beautiful. Also, it's the best and most beautiful I've ever see Cian Tormey's art look - he gives everything such a hazy, heartbreaking softness here. Please read this book.
Batman/Superman: World's Finest: This continues to be one of the most enjoyable books DC is putting out right now. Mora is one of those artists, like Doc Shaner, who draws the DC universe exactly 100% the way it looks in my hindbrain, and Waid is absolutely in his sweet spot of classic heroes, Silver Age lore, and extremely comic book-y adventure. Plus, Tamra Bonvillain is doing that thing she does with colors that taps directly into the happiness center of my brain - they are so rich and sunny and joyful.
Birds of Prey: I love everything Kelly Thompson writes and I'm so glad we finally have her at DC. She is the absolute perfect writer for this book, too - she gives such good superheroine. The banter! The action! The way she mixes and matches her cast in such fun combinations! Leonardo Romero's layouts are so kinetic and fun, and Jordie Bellaire's colors, YOU GUYS, JORDIE BELLAIRE'S FUNKY SEVENTIES COLORS! I can hear the soundtrack of this book. Love love love.
The Flash: To be clear, I mean the Jeremy Adams run that ended earlier this year with #800. I will forever be salty that DC canceled this delightful book, which was all of the action and humor and heart and love of continuity that I crave in comics, in favor of the so far completely mid Spurrier series. RIP Adams run, you were too good for this world.
Fire & Ice: Welcome to Smallville: This book got off to a slightly slow start, in my opinion, but every issue just gets better and better. It is so funny, and I want Natacha Bustos to design every outfit I ever wear for the rest of my life. Plus, Tamra Bonvillain is doing the color thing here, too! I want to live in her world.
Poison Ivy: I trust G. Willow Wilson with my life. This is such a good, complex, nuanced take on Ivy. (Also messy and poly and queer.) I have no idea where this story is going but I'm on this ride 'til the end.
And finally...
Favorite Backlist Title: Starman (1994): You guys. YOU GUYS. I mainlined all 80 issues of this series this year at an absolutely blistering pace because I did not want to stop reading it for even a single second. It's everything I love about comics: truly serialized storytelling with a huge cast and lots of intertwining subplots, tons of twists and foreshadowing that pay off in immensely satisfying ways, a deep dive into continuity that's still accessible to people who know almost nothing about Starman (me), a love letter to a fictionopolis, and one funky little dude trying his best at the center of it. I am BEGGING you to read Starman. Please.
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opinions-about-tiaras · 4 months
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I think it's okay for people to be disappointed and feel misled and maybe even a little upset Scott Pilgrim Takes Off wasn't a more straightforward adaptation.
It's a masterwork as a piece of media, of course; a AU-that's-also-a-sequel based on both the movie AND the graphic novels, in dialogue with both, telling a tight, near-flawless story with immaculate animation and voice acting that, quite frankly, often makes the 2010 movie look poorly directed. (Tony Oliver is getting a LOT more out of these people in the booth than Edgar Wright managed to in front of the camera, frankly.)
And that's part of the problem, I think.
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World oozed charm out of every shot; it's beloved by everyone who worked on it, which is always a good sign. But as an adaptation it was flawed in ways that were inevitable. Sacrifices had to be made to fit all six graphic novels that are deliberately messy and are meant as separate narrative arcs into something that runs on the big screen in less than two hours.
That meant a lot had to go missing. The original graphic novels were often leisurely rom-coms where they weren't stark, raw looks at emotional dysfunction, and a big part of their structure was the secondary and supporting cast. A lot of that had to go. Knives entire arc was cut to the bone. Stephen Stills being a hot mess and his weird and hilarious offscreen gay awakening went into the trash. The heart of Volume Four (still the best volume FIGHT ME), Lisa Miller's instigating presence, junked. Roxie Richter and the Katayanagi Twins are reduced basically to jokes. Envy Adams is given just enough to be a villain but none of what she needed to be a real person, which is a big deal in the comics. Even Gideon gets short shrift; the emotional violations and the dark, stinking, malign weaponization of emotional headspace that make him work in the comics are thrown aside in favor of him being a more straightforward supervillain using mind control chips.
And of course the biggest person to get shanked was Kim Pine. Kim had a storyline of quiet desperation, of seeking intimacy while being desperately terrified of it, romantic and sexual awakenings she isn't equipped to handle, deep and personal betrayals almost every volume that she nonetheless perseveres through. That had to go as well.
When I heard there was an animated adaptation coming, I was thrilled that I would finally get to see all of that rendered onto the screen. Scott Pilgrim was born to be an animated series more than it ever was live-action (and it's been proven multiple times over the past five years especially that animation can produce something wildly special when adapting a comic source handled properly) and it was finally going to have the breathing space to do it RIGHT.
Only it isn't that at all.
I wouldn't trade Scott Pilgrim Takes Off for the more straightforward adaptation we were expecting. The series has sunk its hooks deep into my brain, it's like I'm 29 again, driving my terrible, jank-ass car five hours to Toronto to attend the release party of the final volume. There's so much special about it; Knives and Kim's beautiful love duet is one of the most tender, pure things I've ever seen. The League of Evil Exes as a bumbling cadre of weirdos. Everything to do with Roxie Richter.
But it also means that we're probably deeply unlikely to get that more straightforward adaptation anytime soon. And that makes me feel like something has been lost.
And I respect the feelings of those who are disappointed and upset by it. Especially given that the marketing for Scott Pilgrim Takes Off was deliberately deceptive. I think that's a valid way to feel.
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nexi11tarot · 1 year
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What You Need to Focus on Right Now
This pick a pile is to give you insight on what area of your life requires your attention as well as what may need healing at the moment. Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and let you intution guide what picture you're drawn to
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°•♡pile one
What you need fo focus on 》 "perfection" "passion" + ten of cups
For this pile I'm seeing that it's very important that your daily actions align with your passions. I feel like you guys do things for your family- whether that be approval, validation, support etc. But now is a time to see if your everyday actions aligns with what YOU want, not what your family deems acceptable. I'm also getting a message about what you shouldn't focus on. High standards is a good thing, but stop fixaiting on what you deem flaws about yourself. Seek out the beauty in yourself so that you can see the beauty in others. You need to focus on what you like about yourself, what makes you feel proud and happy with who you are. Stop coming up with excuses with why you're not good enough!! Focus on your passions, focus on creating routines and habits that align with that passion. Don't use your high standards as a way to berate or put yourself down.
What needs healing at the moment 》 "angel of strength"
Heal the part of yourself that wants to remain passive or submissive. It's safe to own your power. You are capable of taking more control and creating your own destiny. For you, this may look like prioritizing your passions over what your family thinks or wants of you. Your inner strength is a limitless resource to stand up to anyone who tries to disempower you. You have one life. It's yours to live, no one else's.
♤♡•Pile two
What you need to focus on 》 "forgiveness" + three of pentacles
The answer here is very clear for pile two. Focus on forgiveness. I'm also feeling that the three of pentacles is actually referring to therapy in this pile. I think going to therapy and collaborating with a professional will help you gain alot of clairty and peace about something in the past. Focus on achieving a higher perspective on a situation so that as you move forward in life, you're not building relationships and connections from a place of resentment. So going to therapy, researching psychological tips, and working with others is something I see you need to focus on at the moment.
What needs to heal at this moment 》 " all tied up" and "the world"
Your perception of the world around you has completely removed your sense of power. You see everything going on, everything going wrong and this causes a lack of motion in your own life. Understandably so. But this is severely limiting your view of things. Expand your perspective and you'll realize that you have more room to move. Heal your perception, thinking to narrowly puts you in a box where you can't see a way out. Stop suffocating yourself with narrow view points or choices, you have room to move you just got to see it first.
☆▪︎°Pile three
What you need to focus on 》 "trickery" + king of swords
It's time to step into your authority and evaluate if your being honest with yourself and others. The king of swords is the leader of his suit, which ruled all things dealing with communication and the mind. He's not afraid to say or write what's on his mind. He expects honesty from himself and others. Something is causing your. Fear of telling your truth. Now is the time to evaluate what that is and focus on dismantling that do that you can express yourself freely. Fear of honesty keeps us from expressing our need for support or assistance. Don't block yourself in communication, focus on healing your fears.
What needs healing at the moment 》 "throat Chakra"
We've touched a bit on this already but this card just confirms it. Now is a time to focus on healing what's causing you to block your own expression. Your voice deserves to be heard. Maybe it's shyness, social anxiety, fear of rejection, fear of vulnerability. It can be anything. Maybe you just hate how your voice sounds. Reaffirm the importance of your own voice. Whatever scenario you imagine will happen if you speak up will not be worse than never using your voice at all. You are capable of speaking up and advocating for yourself, be assertive and firm
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whenitisreal · 1 year
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O U R revolution...
There’s a shifting point, long before the speech even. Wilhelm is terrified to his guts to go up there and stand in front of everyone. But then, his eyes find Simon’s and something changes. 
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There’s still fear, but that gives him the strenght he needed. ‘It’s not only about me, it’s also about him.’ Jan-Olof somehow deprived Simon of his own voice, forcing the choir to sing the classic Hillerska song instead of his own, the one he wrote about Wilhelm, about their love. Wille is reclaiming power.
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When Wille finally goes on stage, fixing up the mic, then his cards. The cards being rather like a script somehow. One that represents the Royals voice, one that is not his own. That inner struggle appears right here. The silence feels so heavy in that moment.
There are 2 paths Wille can choose : His parents, the Royal family; which means following the traditions way, one where he play pretends and keep everything bottled up. Or the second path, Simon; which means following his heart, one where he can finally break free and just BE who he is.
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Even though Wille is back to him, it’s as if Simon could feel exactly the battle he was going through. He’s taking a deep breath, as if, that would allow Wille to take one too, to find back some calm in the midst of that storm.You got this.
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Wille’s words echo even more, as Simon appears, behind him, as if he was right by his side. Even what is supposed to be home, the castle, his family, apart with his brother who he has now lost, Wille never truly felt like he could be who he is, rather always who THEY expected him to be. Until he arrived at Hillerska, until he met Simon and his whole world widened. 
Simon, from the very beginning, always embraced who he was. As Wille told Boris, Simon awakened something in him. The door he used to keep under lock, he was now opening up, finally letting himself feel. He could be just Wille, not the Prince or the Crown Prince. Because Simon made him feel safe enough. The place Wille didn’t even want to go to in the first place now feeling like a shelter, like a home. 
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Home. That’s where again Wille is instinctively reaching towards, not looking in front of him, but rather choosing to turn behind, to Simon. Or almost. Because, no matter the cost, that’s the only path for Wille. One where he’s finally with Simon.
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It feels like a scream from the heart. This speech, this script is the path you want for me, but it is not the one that I WANT. Wille finally breaking free and owning his voice.
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The focus one second on Boris somehow validates it. “We can’t choose who we are born as, but we can choose how we want to live our lives.” Like this life is his own. And no matter what he’s been taught, Wille is allowed to feel however he feels and lead his life the way he wants to. He is taking control. 
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Right after Simon said he wanted to be with him, no matter if they had to keep it a secret or not. All he cared about was for them to finally be together. Yet, in Wille’s mind, it’s just not right. Even more so, after everything Simon had to go through the past months, from the Royal family, from the school, from everyone really. They did nothing wrong but fall in love with each other. It is, HE is probably the most beautiful thing that ever happened in Wille’s life. That’s not something he want to hide anymore, that’s something he can only feel proud of. 
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Remember his mother’s words last season: “When you’re young, love feels like the most important thing in the world. [..] What I mean is, is it worth it ?” The answer is clear for Wille : yes! He is certainly aware he just started a revolution among the monarchy, hell, he might even lose the crown after his revelations. But every sacrifice is worth it, in the name of the most precious thing in this world for him : Simon. 
It’s not a maybe, it’s a certainty. He loves this boy with all his heart. 
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Wille once again turning, all the way this time to face Simon, so he’ll see it, so he’ll feel it. Moments ago, he was whispering it in a corridor, only for Wille to hear. There, Wille is claiming it to the whole world. “I love you”
The realization on Simon’s face, as he is smiling back.. “oh my god.. he loves me” is absolutely everything. The song that starts playing, so perfectly on point “And you loved me; I could feel it. Cause I loved you. Can’t eclipse it” 
And now, it was confirmed that this scene was supposed to be longer!! So, what happened, right after Wille turned back to the Royals, and the cameras ? I guess Jan-Olof tries to stop everything while the reporters start asking more questions to Wilhelm. 
But, Wille’s sole focus remains Simon. So he finally walks back to him, as the others students from the choir let him go through. Until he finally reach Simon who will probably still be in shock after what just happened. Unable to say a word, but feeling so much, so much love. His emotion rolling down his cheek, as one single tear. 
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This time, Wille allowing himself that gesture, to gently caress Simon’s cheek and take away that tear. Eyes locked on one another, as the rest of the world seems to vanish away. The two of them instinctively reaching for each other’s hands, what has always been their source of comfort. 
Not “you and me” anymore, but “WE”. Standing united together, hand in hand, as the rest of the audience and the world cheers for them. Love do always wins. Let’s start OUR revolution now... 
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((Simon was supposed to be the one singing his love, through his song, and in the end, it was Wilhelm who sang his love for Simon instead. ))
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elysiansparadise · 2 years
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For you, what does Moon🌕 in the 10th house mean?
For me Moon in the 10th house means the following...
Moon in the 10th house
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They have a dreamy and sleepy appearance, somewhat distant or shy in some cases, but still seem to be a trustworthy, nurturing and considerate person with other people. They can easily win the support and affection of the public, earning their respect. It is very likely that people look after them constantly, but just as some seem to be willing to protect them tooth and nail, they can attract a lot of envy and people who constantly criticize them. This placement indicates that the native can work in the same job as another member of their family, it can also indicate dedicating professionally to something creative-expressive as a writer, musician, singer, actors, painter, or some career that has to do with caring for or nurturing others, from veterinarians, doctors, teachers, chefs, etc. Something that is undeniable is the high amount of charm and charisma that this overlay gives to the native, being someone who gives very good impressions. People feel a lot of connection with them, many even something immediate, they have the ability to make people feel understood and protected. Many of them seek to be the person they would have liked to have in the past.
Family life could not be very easy, since there is the possibility of having grown up or lived the demands of one of the parents, it shows us a person who had many expectations and grew up being constantly criticized. They may have relatives who need public validation, being praised or excessively accepted by the public, they could see their mother as all of these. This placement usually gives recognized families or popular family members.They are people who seek to project themselves as balanced and as people who have everything under control. They are very protective of their public image and do not let anyone make them feel less. They feel the need to do something important, to be productive and to achieve more and more. It is probable that as young people they lacked approval and sought to do many things to earn their own approval, since due to the constant criticism they could have become very demanding with themselves. The mother could occupy the role of the father or vice versa. This placement tells us that the native may seek to live far from their place of origin or end up living somewhere other than where they grew up. Despite what was previously mentioned, this placement makes these natives in particular stand out from an early age, be it in a hobby, academically or in any other way. 
Some of these natives have a tendency to suppress their emotions or "silence" them through excessive work. Many of these may find their home or people very supportive in their work, authority figures may be very caring for them or very attentive. Some of them may not want to have children, many others may have them later, they may have few children and take the role of father seriously. They easily become the role models of many people and can easily inspire many. Some of these natives can feel a lot of sadness since they can worry a lot about what others say, especially at an early age or for something related to their childhood, they can find it difficult to separate themselves from the public opinion. It is likely that some may want the native to pursue dreams that they wanted to pursue, so the task is to distance yourself from people like that. Your emotions are stable, and despite being somewhat reserved with the deep side of them, your emotions are beautiful and strong, so looking for a hobby through which to express it can be very useful for you. They usually bring happiness and comfort to those they love the most, they radiate a lot of peace and people can see them as somewhat maternal/paternal, many can trust the natives with this placement more than their own family.
-> Go back to the masterlist
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pinksmonkey · 7 months
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Update on my anti-Byler bestie
Here's the post if you missed it.
First of all, thank you to everyone who shared their favourite Byler evidence, it made me very happy and it was funny sharing it with my friend.
Now, unfortunately my friend cannot be convinced. I'm autistic and have trouble understanding people's intentions and feelings, so I can't tell if he's being fully serious, half serious, or completely unserious, but to me it seems most like half serious. He's strongly in denial and won't really give me a reason as to why, he just says, "No, not happening."
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So there's no getting to him, he believes without a doubt that Byler isn't happening (and said he'll start a riot if it does happen, but Idk if he was serious). And he says he's going to find evidence, but his only proof so far has been, "Nooooo." XD
So I've been dealing with that. It's kind of frustrating because I feel like he's not really listening to anything I'm saying, he just denies everything. And I understand sort of because he actually bet me $50 Byler won't happen in season 5 (I didn't bet anything, he just gets to keep the money if he's right). So he doesn't want to admit defeat to that, which is fair, but it was a stupid bet to make in the first place since he didn't have all the information (the proof for Byler).
Additionally, at lunch today we were talking to a girl who's also in our anxiety support class, and I was talking about Byler stuff (Mike's official playlist songs, the way he looks at Will, their flirty scenes in season 4, Mike using the "we're friends" trope, etc.). She agreed with my friend that Byler isn't a thing and said Mike is so straight.
I can argue with them as much as I want but it gets really frustrating and even kind of annoying that they just don't understand all the evidence. I'm just venting here, so absolutely no hate towards people who don't believe Byler is canon, but as someone who cares so deeply about it, it can make me kind of emotional trying to argue that I'm not delusional.
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In the end we agreed to disagree, which is fine and valid and I respect that. But with my friend, it's kind of a big deal, because to me Byler is a big deal. I admit I'm obsessed, Byler has been my biggest special interest since I watched season 4 and found out it was a thing. I can't really help it, I'm just so passionate about it and it gets stuck in my mind. You could say I'm hopelessly devoted to Byler, one of my friends online has even said they think it's unhealthy, but how can something that brings me so much joy be wrong?
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Ok this has devolved significantly, but what I'm trying to say in this whole rant/vent thing is that yes, I'm very invested in the relationship between fictional characters, because it's important to me. Representation matters, and even though I'm not a gay man, I still love seeing other groups be represented, especially in a show this popular, with a story this deep. The beauty of Byler's story transcends everything.
So it's frustrating trying to argue for something I care so much about. Byler makes me happy, it motivates me, it inspires me. I'm not going to apologize for loving the things I love and being passionate about my interests. Of course I try to be open minded, respect different opinions, and listen to other points of view. If my friend actually had evidence against Byler, I would listen and respond as constructively and respectfully as I can.
Basically, shipping Byler is valid, and not shipping or even being anti-Byler is valid (unless it's just for homophobic reasons, homophobia is not valid). But I love Byler and it does kind of hurt to have something I care about be adamantly denied and torn apart. And you know, as I'm writing this I'm actually empathizing with Milevens. This doesn't just go for Byler, it goes for all ships (as long as they're not messed up obviously), people should be able to enjoy what they enjoy without others trying to tell them why they're wrong.
There's nothing wrong with analyzing Mileven, talking about why it's unhealthy or not going to be endgame, etc. But that should stay in the proper places, we don't need to constantly remind Milevens that they're ship isn't going to end up together. Just let them be happy, and I'd expect them to do the same for us.
Idk how this turned into talking about Milevens and respecting different ships, but it did somehow. Anyway, back to the point, my friend may be wrong about what will happen in season 5, but his beliefs on it are still valid. I just wish we could talk about it in a way that doesn't make me feel bad about shipping Byler and believing it's endgame. Does that make sense?
This isn't that serious or anything, and take everything I said here as just a random vent/rant, I'm just getting out all my thoughts and feelings, because I need to after all the arguing with people today.
If Byler doesn't happen, I'll be sad, but I know I won't be alone because I have my fellow Bylers, my Byler family and community here. We can all be sad together, and support each other. When I feel bad about something, I like to remember this quote:
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That's how I feel about Byler not being endgame.
But on a lighter note, I'm pretty sure Byler will end up together, it just makes sense. So yeah, feel free to share any of your thoughts and feelings about this, I'd love to hear them. :)
I just needed to share some Byler positivity at the end because I'm tired of being surrounded by Byler negativity in my class.
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Byler rights forever. 🏳️‍🌈
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tinyavenuesailor · 2 years
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Arthur’s Perspective
One thing I think we don’t talk about often is Arthur’s perspective in the show.  I’ve seen quite a few stories of Arthur having an extremely negative reaction to Merlin’s magic reveal. I think some fans tend to begrudge Arthur for his prejudice against magic. Understandably because when we are watching Merlin, we are seeing everything from Merlin’s perspective. We see the injustice and the fear people and creatures of magic have to endure. So, I get it but as viewers we know the whole story. Arthur and frankly 99% of Camelot don’t.
Let’s slow down and really take this in Arthur’s shoes. Arthur had been raised on the idea that it was a sorcerer that murdered his mother and had to listen to his father preaching about the evil of magic since he was old enough to understand people.
If that wasn’t enough 80% of the sorcerers that Arthur run into have tried to end his life.
Then he had to watch a Great Dragon burn and destroy the homes and lives of innocent citizens of Camelot.
And let’s not forget Morgana, someone Arthur loves and cherishes, goes missing for a year, returns, betrays him, voices her hatred for him and how she blames him for everything, practically gleams at the idea of ending his life and also reveals that she’s his sister and now has magic - which Arthur has been taught corrupts people.
Then the Disir sort of try to blackmail Arthur with a death sentence if he doesn’t free magic and bow down to the Triple Goddess. 
So yeah I get why Arthur may not be so ready to jump on this magic train when almost every encounter he had with magic had almost gotten him, the people he loves or the people in Camelot killed.
And if you’re thinking, well magic has saved Arthur and Camelot asses multiple times. Yes, but they don’t know that.
Arthur doesn’t know his mother died because his parents didn’t heed the warnings of the High Priestess. He doesn’t know that every sorcerer that comes for his life and Camelot is doing so in vengeance of Uther’s misguided rage. Doesn’t know that Morgana had to live in fear of her life of her powers. Doesn’t know that Merlin is going around saving Camelot and his ass like its a full-time job.
Arthur has every reason to hate magic considering how its wrecked his life but he doesn’t. Arthur never shows any real resentment to magic, more caution from being conditioned to hate magic. He always say ‘Magic corrupts’ but those aren’t his words, they’re his father’s. Because if he does believe magic only serves to corrupt why does he give people with magic fair trials? Why  doesn’t he actively hunt sorcerers unless they are a threat to Camelot’s safety? 
Then we see these moments where we can see Arthur is open-minded, that deep down some part of him always doubted his father’s teachings. Where he’s ready for someone to show him that magic can be more than destruction but he never gets that validation. 
*cough* There can be no place for magic in Camelot *cough*
I’m not blaming Merlin, Morgana or any other sorcerers. I fully understand why Merlin hid, why Morgana mental health deteriorated and why other sorcerers sought to destroy Camelot, except the Disir - I have my personal reservation on them.
I’m just emphasizing with Arthur’s point of view, everyone expects you to one day open your eyes and make magic legal but no one wants to sit down and show you the beautiful things magic can do. Like if y’all wanted magic in Camelot that bad did no one think to actually talk to Arthur about magic after he became King, he’s a prat yes but he’s not beyond reason.
Merlin had his fears yes, but, Gaius has a history with magic and knows of the atrocities of the Purge and is an advisor to Arthur. Gwen is Queen of Camelot and has no ill-will towards magic. Leon, one of Arthur’s trusted knights was saved by the Druids using magic. We all know Lancelot and Gwaine have no qualms with magic.
Did it really never occur to Gaius that Arthur had a right to know of the origins of his birth and would have maybe sparked a movement to help restore magic to Camelot and fix the damage the Purge had caused to the magical community. 
This is what really hurt me because I feel Arthur would have wholeheartedly accepted magic. In fact, I think he could have come to love it. In one day, Arthur entire stance on magic changed - albeit he was dying but it only took one person Arthur trusted to change his views on magic.
And it’s sad to think that Arthur still died with only half the story. Yeah, he knows Merlin has magic but he’ll never know why Morgana became the way she did. He’ll never know the real reason behind the Purge. Hell, he doesn’t even know he’s apart of this whole big prophecy.
Honestly, people could throw shade on Arthur for not legalizing magic sooner but I don’t think he was given a fair fighting chance. What is a man supposed to do when he only has 100 pieces out of a 1000-piece puzzle.
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not-so-lost-after-all · 7 months
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Hi. I have been struggling if I should let my romanced Asterion ascended or not, which has been a huge dilemma that many of us so stressed about. But after 2 days of serious consideration, I decide to let him ascended, because I know how much Asterion loves to be in sunlight.
See how he enjoyed bathed under the sun after he shared a night with my Tav after the goblin camp victory. The scene is too beautiful. All I want is that he can walk in sunlight freely and without the eternal hunger as a spawn after the tadpole removed. So, even thought of the “personality change” after ascension, I still want to support him ascend.
So my point of view is, even thought after his ascension, he has the absolute power (he claims) to take everything, do whatever he pleases and has nothing to fear about now.
But hey, deep down he is still the little boy who is so scared of not being loved or wanted. So scared that he is willing to enforce himself to join the disgusting, degrading sex, just to make Tav happy. Or by his word, to make his prime consort happy.
Sounds so familiar? It's the same scenario in the Moonrise Tower. He could not help be enforced himself to something he doesn't want to if Tav, the one he loves so much asks of it
His interior doesn't change. He is still that vulnerable and loving Asterion who is so reliant to Tav.
Just that he is now ascended, well…. a lord has to act like a lord.
And from my point of view, he is just like a boy who is firstly given a huge piles of money and allowed to buy whatever he wants in mall. His head spins in happiness that his childish cockiness spilled out. "Muahahahaha I am the Lord of the World!!! Kneel to me!!! Bow to me!!! YEAH!!!!" And… well… it makes me happy to see that he can finally has some childish happiness. Too long he has been denied that. So my Tav will play along to let him has his joy. "If just kneeling before you can makes you happy, then why not?" :)
And in concern of whether he will truly turn Tav into a true Vampire, my guess is very optimistic.
And OK, maybe~ he will let Tav stay a spawn so "he can manipulate her" "become Cazardor himself" but hey whats good for him to makes Tav unhappy? If he only wants spawns and power, he can create as much as he wants
I am still so far away from reaching the ending. But i have already taste the sweetness in this route. Ascended Asterion romance has to be chewed carefully to taste the little sweetness hidden within. And it's also a trial of faith for Tav.
Does she believe Asterion's love and confession before his ascension be true and valid?
Does she always thinks that Asterion will love power over her despite all the soul talk and times spent together?
Does she has no faith in their relationship or the one she loves and choose to be with?
There's so much for Tav to answer too. If the faith is strong, from my point of view, there should be no fear to take the leap.
On the surface it seems that Tav is the weak and manipulated party. But well…. my point of view is, the one truly holds the power is the one who goes deeper into another's heart. And from this case, it's Tav who holds more power.
Nonnie, I've been thinking about how to answer that. You're not even asking anything, you're explaining something I did not judge you for. Anyway, I disagree. Larian explained that we shouldn't do whatever our love interest wants - this is exactly it. If Tav loves him, they should be the voice of reason when Astarion was not able to think clearly. Now he's forever defined by his trauma.
I suppose you didn't hear what he had to say when you break up with him for good? He doesn't love Tav, he's playing a game and admits he would ruin them. He thus had no intention to make them his equal. He likes Tav as a cherished property but even those are replacable and he gets over it quickly. You can't stay with him unless you're his spawn - he doesn't take no for an answer. It was carefuly crafted to mimic the worst case IRL scenario where the abused becomes the abuser in a new relationship.
I'm going to let him ascend when he's not my character's romance to see for myself what it's like. But as a romance, I cannot stand his evil self, he's like in Act 1 except now he became the mask. I even hated how he acted in a video where Tav cheated on him with Mizora - "how delightful, more depravity, wanna join next time".
Of course you can headcanon there's still something to be fixed in him but the game doesn't exactly support it.
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