#which is easier said than done i know

[manchesterau]

one direction in st. louis (1/?)

#harry styles #stylesedits #stylesnews #hlcreators #1dsource #tracksintheam #ive been meaning to gif wwa for a while now soooo here you go lol #he had like 3 different shirts the whole night #thank you hannah julius for the amazing concert footage can we pls go back to like 4k concert footage which i know is easier said than done #anywaysss im going to do louis next sooo #hazza #.gifs #my edit #st.louis wwa

[mattodore]

found out while putting together matthias's oc page that his name has the exact same etymology and meaning as theo's name...

i’m sure this is information matthias is very normal about…

#theo is in fact a gift from god so jot that down ! #river dipping #i've been throwing myself into oc stuff bc i'm not doing hot mentally which is... tbh when i do my best writing 😭 #none of this is new tho i wrote the bios and 'at a glance' intros months and months ago when i first made an oc page #which is why i do plan on rewriting them but for now i'm leaving them like this... so i guess the echthroi page is done? #obviously echthroi has more characters than this but i haven't taken new screenshots of everyone yet... #i put the gray cas bg back in my game a few days ago only to completely forget i wanted to take new headshots for the oc page 😭 #like these are just placeholders... i want the backgrounds to match the oc page. oh... or maybe i could just do transparent pics? #i think i remember vyx made a post abt how to do that... will look into that when i open the game again. rn i'm at my keyboard 🧑‍💻 #like i am writing new things! started a google doc for theo yesterday and have been writing on it here and there since then #i've already cried in there... lmaooo. i like oc pages for sure but i think a huge google doc is what i really need to keep track of things #i drop so much lore in tags on here and it's like! river write that down somewhere else or you'll lose it 😭 #like i fr have never actually written down any of the info i've shared on here. i've just had all this oc knowledge stored in my brain. #so i went through and copied over a tonnn of tags and posts i've made into google docs but i just know i'm missing things i've probably #said in the tags of their core tagged posts... 🧍 if my blog didn't have so many posts i'd have an easier time going through it but 🤷 #and on top of that i've been making a bunch of posts about theo and matthias on my main acc. which is like 🧍 well great now there's more #i'm gonna lose track of...... i fr have gottt to get into the habit of actually putting things down in theo's google doc!!! #i'm just trying to figure out the best way to format it all but i've downloaded a few templates that i've been messing with. #...anyway. if it isn't obvious i'm trying to get back to posting on here. i'm opening my inbox now with the intent to just. #sit here in my inbox until i can get myself to reply. lads... avpd is actually so torturous i'm not kidding. #i feel like i'm dying trying to get myself to interact with people sometimes even despite how badly i want!!!! to interact!!! #theo and me and our avoidant trauma responses holding hands and skipping around together

[the-potato-beeper]

anyone have any tips before my job interview tomorrow? i am. very anxious

#key speaks #i'm very lucky and haven't had to get a job before this #so this is my first interview #and the professor specifically recommended i apply #so i'm trying not to stress so much but i am NERVOUS #it's to be a Learning Assistant and basically tutor for the group work in class #it's for an intro level biology course #i know i could do it and be pretty good at it #but first i have to interview successfully and NOT come across as an anxious wreck #which is easier said than done

[starswallowingsea]

okay thinking about them was the only thing that got me through work today so i'm gonna just. talk about rinne and hinata (discussion of setsubun and suicide attempts under the cut)

i was rereading night club recently and completely forgot that they mentioned setsubun festival, which i also recently read for a fic idea that i'm gonna be incorporating these ideas into hopefully, and it got me thinking about hinata.

the twins have always been outcasts and hinata makes a note of the fact that nobody ever played with them growing up so they had to make up their own games to play on their own. they are also frequently mistaken for one other which understandably gives hinata at least extreme identity issues, calling him and yuta "deformities" and "mutations" for being twins. it all culminates in the rooftop scene in setsubun where he mentions that even if he gets hurt, yuta will be fine and yuta can continue living on without him, how hinata tried to "disappear" over and over again which...can be interpreted as either suicide attempts or just simply fading into the background to allow yuta to shine.

and then his whole breakdown was filmed and disseminated to the entire student body of yumenosaki. regardless of if he knew or not, i cannot imagine that he wanted something so personal, so private aired to everyone he knows so they can see it. mika makes a comment in night club that afterwards everyone became really protective of 2wink as a whole which...to some extent, just stifled hinata and made it harder for him to talk about his feelings and when he was hurt. i'm mostly speculating here since i haven't read too many 2wink stories but like. would you want everyone you know to see your most vulnerable moments like that?

so then enters rinne, a new guy on the block who has no knowledge of setsubun, of your videotaped suicide attempt, and who your boss is telling you to work with. his unit is focused on not judging people for who they are despite having crafted a villainous mask during the mdm. they hadn't touched 2wink at all and rinne was more than willing to work with hinata on their joint live, giving hinata a nickname even that he loved because it felt like someone was actually trying to be his friend again.

and most importantly, rinne listens to hinata, lets him vent and talk about things that he hasnt been able to because of how everyone else views him. rinne's taken on that mantle of big brother to give hinata a space to just be himself.

and i think this extends to the other new characters too, especially his roommates niki and hiiro. i do think that was a deliberate choice, to put him in a room with two guys who didnt know about setsubun and would just treat him like their other kouhais/classmates. it also helps that niki and hiiro dont judge very easily so they just treat him like a normal kid which he's longed for his entire life.

#shay speaks #ensemble stars #enstars #hinata aoi #rinne amagi #<- kinda. he's mentioned a lot #setsubun #suicide cw #okay this got longer than intended. also i wasnt gonna put this in the main tags but boots zakomoya said do it so #anyway i have been thinking abt them a lot recently. i dont produce hinata or 2wink but #hinata has been growing on me. guy shaped #squishes him #if any of this is wrong or whatever please let me know bc i have not read a lot of 2wink stories. ive read setsubun and steampunk museum #and i read twin peaks in the english server when it came out #theres also an odd amount of parallels between them (oldest sibling. dead mom and shitty dad. somewhat strained relationship w/ younger #sibling... i think rinne understands him more than most other characters do which also makes it easier for him to like #approach rinne to begin with once he gets past his prejudices against him from the mdm #etc etc. do you get it? does this make sense? #anyway im done tag rambling. enjoy.

[polkadotpatterson]

okeydoke as I have not had much energy for working on stuff lately (but lots of motivation) I'm not gonna do proper NaNo with a wordcount or anything, BUT I am gonna make it a goal to get some amount of work done on a writing project every day (at least until I go away on the 24th). Main priority blaseball projects are, in no particular order:

Fic about the ending

Abner fic

Simon's Quest

secret fic(s) :)

get the Talkers exchange set up

Aside from that, I've been poking at more non-blaseball stuff, which is a good excuse for me to plug my writing blog @cyndakip! All my fics get posted there, so if you're interested in my writing beyond just blaseball (especially if you like pokemon), I recommend following me there, since I don't post non-blaseball fics here.

#I'm in a weird place rn where the end of blb is coinciding with me finally feeling ready to get back to nuzlockes #and I very much want to keep writing blb fics! it's just complicated by me getting smacked over the head with pokemon motivation #and separate from that I think it's just been hard for me to work on blb fics knowing that it's over #writing the ending fic in particular means confronting that. and I definitely haven't fully processed it yet and idk when I will #I really truly do want to keep writing blb fics for a long time but I worry there will be not much of an audience anymore #and I know that doesn't matter. I'm gonna write what I want and I know some people will still read it. but yknow. it's rough #also my relationship with pokemon and the nuzlocke community has been really fucking complicated these past few years #to the point where I stopped engaging altogether bc it was stressing me out too much and I had lost all confidence in my writing #this happened to be right before I got into blb. which came along at the perfect time and gave me the community & confidence boost I needed #now it kinda feels like we've come full circle. blb has changed me and now I'm ready to go back with a whole new attitude #I just don't want these two things to be mutually exclusive! I want both! but that's easier said than done #especially bc I haven't had enough energy to work on much of either lately! I want to say things are getting better on that front but #it's complicated. you know how it is with human bodies. treacherous things #the thing is I don't want to waste this. I feel ready for pokemon again and god I missed it and I'm gonna ride this wave of motivation #if I had more energy this would be less of a problem. ah well #gonna get all this done sooner or later #talking moistly

[13eyond13]

.

#The funniest thing about trying to sift through an old/small fandom #That mostly exists in blogspot blogging format (not this one but for a game series from the 90s/00s I recently rediscovered) #is that nearly all of the blogs are dead and nothing but a decade's worth of posts of people going #'Sorry I haven't been posting much lately!' #'Thinking about going on hiatus!' 'Back from hiatus!' #'Sorry I haven't posted a lot!' #I'd say they make up a good like 40% of the total posts #Makes me realize it's probably best to just not post stuff like that every single time you take a break? #bc I get disappointed when I find a big inactive blog then realize almost all the content is those kinda posts #I know it's hard especially in an old fandom that has a nice/friendly community but not much/any new content coming out though #bc you don't want to just disappear or lose touch but also after many years sometimes it's just like. SoOo. What's there new to say? #That hasn't already been said or done to death 49483829 different ways #Also I guess that's why tumblr is easier by design to stay active on than something like a blogspot #because you can just reblog other people's stuff even when you have nothing much to contribute yourself #and this one never seems to totally run out of new fan made stuff to share which is great #p

[emailsicantsnd]

The only reason olivia was nominated for anything was because he label has always paid for it to happen she's in no way talented enough to win a Grammy on her own

see like here's the thing to my point yesterday from my post ab sabrina not being grammy nominated, there's a way to support someone without tearing down someone else (i.e. the women supporting women concept)

i'll be honest and say im not a fan of olivia. her music just personally isn't something i care for, and only really like a handful of songs of hers that i dont really reach for to listen anyways. but with that said, just because i dont really gel with her music doesn't mean im gonna go off and say she's not talented, bc that's totally subjective and clearly she has to have talent if she's had the astronomical success that she's had, and that's great for her, but her music isn't for me so it's inconsequential to me if she's nominated or not and that's okay! good for her, but i am bummed as hell that sabrina didn't nominated and unfortunately, bc of the DL drama (that i am BEYOND over hearing about and have my own gripes about how that was handled), sabrina is always gonna be inextricably linked to olivia, so it's one thing to be bummed about sabrina, but we dont have to go after olivia for getting nominated because they're two separate people that deserve to be talked about individually

i have my own issues with the grammys/scammys as is but that's not something im blaming on olivia or saying she has any fault in in the slightest. for me, i didnt particularly care for sour or guts because im very particular about my pop music since my first love is rock/punk/screamo/metal etc (more aggressive music) so for me it doesn't matter if she got the grammy nom, that's not something im concerning myself with, i just want us to be able to support women without it being at the expense of someone else in the industry because we dont have to be fans of everyone and that's okay 💌

at the end of the day this is my sabrina side blog, and that's who i wanna focus on on here 💌

#this got a lil ranty lol #not saying this as a callout necessarily to you anon #but i just think there's a way to talk about one person's snub without dragging down someone else's success #and ofc if it's not someone you like or care for just ignore it! #which i know can be easier said than done but hey it's less negativity if it works for ya #sabrina carpenter #ask #answered #anon #anon ask

[beksboys]

YOOOO @schakerin hooked me up!!! here's my bsky 8')) if any moots have one feel free to share so i can find people to follow.... 👀

#which i know is easier said than done since its invite only lmao but still #THANK YOU GUM i love you!!!

[taketheringtolohac]

Really annoyed at the terminology midsized rn. Like. Sure it can be helpful for some people (namely women) who have been made fun of for being fat but aren’t fat fat. But that’s the problem with this terminology in the first place. In giving a name to this body size that focuses on clothing size rather than actual bodies themselves we also further distance these bodies from fatness, which only works to stigmatize fatness even more than it already is. It just reinforces the idea that fat = bad and something that only “real” fat people are, when in reality all bodies have fat and many of these “midsize” bodies are what people have called fat in the past but now have been recontextualized in the era of heightened self awareness of the “average size body” as “normal” but the people using the term were made to feel inferior bc of the fat on their bodies and now simultaneously embrace the “normalness” of their bodies while also distance themselves from the fatness AND distinguish their bodies as “different.” We literally need to destigmatize the word fat NOW bc ppl are literally just inventing new ways to be unconsciously fatphobic. fat is not a binary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#again it is helpful for some people. but ultimately those people need to unlearn their internalized fatphobia surrounding the word fat! #there isnt rlly such a thing as “fat enough.” like yes people who are fatter face more social stigma and ostricization #for not being conventionally beautiful or thin or even “acceptable” fat. but also being afraid of being fat is also fatphobia. #like get out of here with this ohhh youre not fat ur just midsized bs. no!!! you can acknowledge that you have more privlege than #someone who is fatter than you but also that you are not skinny and do in fact have visible fat. is that so hard! stop being so afraid! #which is easier said than done believe me i KNOW but also work on yourself. god damn. #you can rb if you want but im really just spitballing here. and annoyed as hell LOL #roxy talks

[desolationcleo]

so we're all in agreement that if jimmy doesn't die first, we'll make art and fics of the bad boys finding out grian's a watcher and jimmy asking if he can remove his death curse and grian managing to do it

#bonus points if this happens while they're discussing what he is and isn't capable of. #extra bonus points if he says it wouldn't be easy because undoing the work of another watcher is easier said than done. #extra extra bonus points if the reason grian's able to break the curse is because he's one of the ones who initially cursed jimmy. #even more bonus points if upon admitting this he agrees to break the curse to make it up to him. #even MORE bonus points if he lets jimmy know that this might be risky #since he's messing with things tied to his fate and to his life itself and if it backfires he might accidentally kill him. or worse. #jimmy understands the risks and wants to do it anyways. #joel is instructed to not intervene no matter what so he stands there and tries to stay silent and calm #while grian is unblinking and chanting in incomprehensible tongues with way more eyes than anyone's supposed to have #when the curse breaks the canary wings on the sides of jimmy's head fall apart and vanish and he has normal ears now. #some time afterwards he comments that he hadn't even realized the feathers messed with his hearing until they were gone #which i suppose makes sense since he doesn't remember a time before his death curse. #...wait. what if this DID backfire. #causing grian to accidentally permakill jimmy. thereby fulfilling both their curses at once in an attempt at breaking one of them. #ok i can't tell which version of this i like more

[hoot-h00t]

so turns out. finding out the thing you’ve been varying levels of paranoid about the past couple years wasn’t paranoia at all really sucks. :(

#turns out sometimes people really don’t want to keep being friends with you or be around you! #which is valid and whatever but. sucks to be told otherwise to your face and find out later that that wasn’t the case #also sucks to just. not know why. #not that there HAS to be a REASON ofc i don’t think i’m entitled to any of my relationships and in fact work pretty hard about it #but it’s still idk. disheartening #i feel like it’s pretty obvious to those who know me by this point that straightforwardness is best #i either might not pick up on something or be paranoid about things forever and either way it just seems #like it would be so much easier and less painful if everyone could just be honest about their feelings #which of course i know is easier said than done and don’t claim to be a superior example of #but :((( #also. embarassing to cry a little in the midst of a busy happy hour

[lonesomedotmp3]

not even there yet and my flatmates are already annoying me 😐 whatever.

#they want us to pay the bills directly instead of using a service which 1) easier said than done lol?? 2) puts a cap on everything we use #including heat. as if we're not there up north all winter in the freezing cold 😐 #3) i don't know how to tell these people since paying the bills directly means one person has to do it and everyone else pays #their share back to them afterwards that i DON'T trust them to do that!!! #does this make any sense. you know what if anyone has shared a flat for uni and used either split the bills/uni homes or paid the bills #directly. i would love your input. but i am 100% sure I'm right. call me bougie but something a little bit cheaper is not worth #the stress of paying it directly. #well. whatever i guess. #in my head to stay sane I'm not even going back to uni so. whatever!!

[yohankang]

i always forget how much the lack of sleep impacts me and then i'm like why do i feel like shit!! why is everything bothering me!! why do i feel so wrong!!! and the answer is, last time i got 8 hours of sleep was 2 weeks ago

#i almost cried 2 times at work today #and now that i got home i just broke down #it's just a bad day but i have to be dramatic #bc of my mom i stay at work overtime doing nothing and when i get home it's late and i don't have time and energy to do anything #and it bothers me greatly because i have so much to do #so i sleep 5-6 hours a day which is absolutely not enough + i'm so stressed about uni work and other shit #i am straight up not having a good time #and now the lymph nodes situation... i know the doctor said i shouldn't worry but it's easier said than done #k.txt #i'm starting my vacations in 2 days but at this point i'm stressed about it too agjsgjsjs girl help i just can't continue living like this #2 WEEKS* not 2 days..... god i'm tired

[aidenwaites]

I know it's at least one half the sleep deprivation speaking but man I'm just SO worried that I'm going to make myself hate this job. I'm worried I'm gonna really start to hate it and I'm gonna leave on bad terms and then I'm gonna have fucked up the objectively best job opportunity I've ever had

#just.. UGH #i dont want to hate it and i dont want to feel so adverse to doing it #i just also dont know how to fix that. yknow? #and overall just with job searching jts like. idk to look at job listings without constantly assessing how long ill probably stick with it #until it gets on my nerves and i quit again #which as you can imagine puts a very big hurdle between me and submitting job applications #i dont know how to try and find a job and keep myself together without feeling extremely jaded and hopeless about jt #and i know i just have to get over myself and deal with it but its much easier said than done #anyway. i applied to like six places the other day so maybe someone will give me a call

[mxgyver]

.

#cool! just got hit with a wave of sadness about my lack of experience in... everything! #like I know it shouldn't define me & there's no real timeline to do things #but when you're in your mid-20s watching everyone do things (even people younger than you) #really puts you in a place that's just... not fun #it shouldn't be embarrassing that i haven't really dated or kissed anyone yet here we fucking are! #'just put yourself out there!!' hi yeah easier said than done!! #i get so fucking insecure about myself when it comes to dating #the world is not kind to tall fat women #people love to say they love women like that but it feels like both of those things just get cancelled out for me #i have never felt desired the way i want to be in my entire life #i just become so hyperaware of all the tiny little things that i feel like someone would negatively point out #and it's just... fucks me up not gonna lie #i honestly think i might be pms-ing which is making this 1000000 times worse but like whatever #should i have just saved this for me therapist instead of tumblr? definitely #i'm just... going to cry a little bit more & then take a shower before watching the newest mando episode #sierra speaks #tbd #sierra being dramatic yet again

[t-lostinworlds]

I feel like I'd be churning out fics faster if I had the "this is what I feel like writing right now so this is what you're getting." mentality. I always worry too much about which fic to post first to cater to other people or because I've already posted for that fandom it's time to post for this fandom just to make everyone happy. But most of the time, I'm only stomping on my creativity by doing that because I'm forcing myself to focus on this other thing even though i want to write something else.

#like just because i'm writing for a different fandom #does NOT mean i'm leaving the previous one #or i'm never going to write for it again you know? #unless stated explicitly #it's why i have 'multifandom' on my blog #but ppl sometimes get the wrong idea #it's that weird fear of being forgotten bc you're not #'providing content regularly' #but that's happened to me a lot so #and when it's multiple fandoms it's just #like so what if i'm posting multiple bucky fics in a row right? #i'm still writing for peter it's just taking a lil longer to finish #i'm still writing for steve #but i've had this mindset to post for each one alternately #just so i can make everyone happy #which is impossible so i should really only be focused on what i want #easier said than done tho #sorry i'm just in my feels rn #ramblings