#which is fair because it was her wedding day and that shit is stressful

[x0x0josephinex0x0]

The Hope in the Fault Lines, Part 2

I was expecting this part to take much longer to write.............but here it is!! part 2 of 5 in the series. Go read Part 1 if you haven't already!! Warnings: implied sexual behavior, sick child, one scene takes place in a hospital, implied PTSD (it's never said but she has it), death of sibling, this part is a bit of a rooooooooooough time but bear with me Word count: 5.6 k for part 2

par t 1 | part 3 | part 4

Before

You bit your lip as you looked at Jeri in the mirror. “You look beautiful,” you had told her, your voice hesitant.

“You sound so convincing,” she said sarcastically, adjusting her veil and smoothing her hands over the sleek bodice of her minimalist-chic wedding dress. “What’s your deal?”

“Are you sure you want to do this?” you had asked her. “Get married? I mean, that means you’re stuck with him.”

She rolled her eyes and laughed. “Not everyone is a workaholic and commitmentphobe,” she reminded you. “I’m in love with Jisung, sweetheart. We’ve been together for two years.”

“Is that long enough?” you had wondered out loud. “I mean, what if there’s something bad you don’t know about him? What if he committed a crime or something?”

Jeri gave you her best “you’re being ridiculous” look. “You remember who we’re talking about, right?” she asked you. “Jisung gets stressed out if he accidentally forgets to signal when he changes lanes. There’s no way he could commit a whole crime.”

You had to admit that was fair. She took your hands in hers. “I know what this is really about,” she said. “And I’m not making the mistake that mom made. I know what I’m doing.”

You had smiled at the confidence in her tone. In that moment, she seemed so mature and self-assured that you forgot she was your younger sister. Somewhere in this beautiful house, you knew Jisung was coming apart at the seams, and the thought of how the man must be panicking over every single detail of the day while your sister waited calmly to walk down the aisle was suddenly very funny to you. Downstairs, the music started, and you squeezed Jeri’s hands before tucking one of them into the crook of your elbow. 

“Ready?” you asked, feeling a whirlwind of emotions -- pride, worry, joy -- but giving your sister a smile.

“Ready,” she confirmed, and together you had headed down the stairs, where everyone in the wide chapel room had stood and turned their heads to gaze open-mouthed as you, Jeri’s only sibling, walked her down the aisle.

***

“Thanks for texting,” you say as you arrive home and Mingyu hands Sara into your outstretched arms. “The updates are really great. And thanks for grabbing the books! I’ll read to her tonight.”

The first two weeks of Mingyu’s employment have seen a drastic improvement in your mental state. For one thing, Mingyu keeps the house clean, so there isn’t the added weight of messiness and clutter. For another, you are able to work without the mental load of being away from Sara because you receive regular updates throughout the day. And finally, though it’s a bit embarrassing to admit, Mingyu is just a soothing presence. You only see him for a few minutes before work and after work every day, but it’s always so easy and pleasant to talk to him that you genuinely look forward to it. 

Your weekend time with Sara seems to be improving, too -- perhaps she can sense you’re breathing easier, which makes her less fussy, or maybe she’s just gotten used to you. Either way, she’s becoming more like she was before the accident, which does your heart a lot of good. And you love holding her, talking to her, and hearing her little babbles and shrieks. Obviously the circumstances of your parenthood are shit, but the actual parenthood part is turning out to be better than you thought.

“Just a heads-up -- I think she might be a little under the weather. She’s been fussy and low-energy today.” Mingyu looks between you and Sara, a little worry tinging his voice.

You look down at Sara’s flushed pink cheeks in worry. “Oh no,” you say. “Um, thanks for letting me know.”

“I got baby cough medicine,” he tells you. “So if she does come down with something, it’s in the cupboard where you keep your vitamins.”

“You’re a lifesaver,” you breathe. “Thank you.” You stroke Sara’s head, which she’s buried in the crook of your neck in exhaustion. “Don’t wanna say bye to Mingyu?” you ask her softly.

He brushes a broad hand over her black curls. “Bye, Sara. See you tomorrow.”

“Oh, that reminds me,” you say suddenly. “I have to leave Thursday night for a short day trip for the magazine. It’s nothing major -- I’m only staying overnight because the city is a couple hours away and I don’t love driving at night. Would you be alright staying with her?”

He nods. “As long as you’re paying me, I’ll be here,” he jokes.

“You’re a star,” you say, and he chuckles. “I’ll pay you time and a half for overnight stuff.”

“Thanks,” he says. “I’ll let you get her to bed, then.”

He gives you a smile that would make anyone weak in the knees, and you can’t help but smile back as he leaves. Turning your attention to Sara, you inspect her face. “Hmm,” you say, your brow creasing in worry at her dull eyes and ruddy cheeks. She does look ill, and this thought seems to hover uncomfortably in the back of your mind as you sit her in the bathtub. She fusses and cries during her bath, which is uncommon -- she loves splashing around, and usually bathtime is full of giggles and smiles. You bite the inside of your cheek and wash her off, toweling her dry a bit more thoroughly than usual to make sure she doesn’t go to bed with any part of her still wet.

You bring her to bed with you instead of putting her in her crib. You used to do this because you were so exhausted during nighttime feedings, and falling asleep in the rocking chair meant an aching neck in the morning. You still remember how terrified you were that you would roll over Sara and suffocate her. But gradually you learned that you woke with any small noise of Sara’s, and your fear had subsided. Now, she slept in your bedroom more nights than she slept in her crib -- and tonight, it felt extra necessary to keep a close eye on her.

Sure enough, around four in the morning you wake to sniffles punctuated by soft coughs. Sleepily, you lift Sara into your arms. She nuzzles into you, and you relax a bit -- clearly she is well enough to at least be aware of you. Allowing yourself to doze off, you wake up just before 5:30 and decide to actually get ready before Mingyu arrived.

You lay Sara back on the bed with a small kiss on her cheek, noting that it isn’t much warmer than it usually is (which means no fever), and take an open-door, open-curtain shower -- one where you could still see Sara’s little figure swaddled in the bed. You don’t get your hair wet, and you curl it once you get out. Finally, you actually put on makeup for the first time since your sister died. 

Looking at yourself in the mirror, you realize that you barely recognize this creature staring back at you. Her hollow cheeks and dark under-eyes have been concealed by an artful hand, but the colors in her gaze betray her. Perhaps it was just because you knew everything you’d gone through, but it is obvious to you that the eyes tell all -- the crushing nothingness of grief, the bitter rage, the dimness of despair. You remind yourself to avoid looking at the mirror too closely from now on.

Sara is still fast asleep when you finish around 6:45. You decide it’s best if she stays asleep for the sake of her health, so you carefully move her to her crib just as Mingyu’s knock sounds at the door. You tip-toe down the stairs to get it. “Hi,” you whisper to him as you open the door.

He seems taken aback for a moment, but recovers quickly. “Hey,” he says at a normal volume as he strides over the threshold and removes his shoes. “You look really nice, boss.”

“Oh!” you say, still whispering, remembering the makeup and the woman you couldn’t say was you in the mirror. “Um, thanks. Uh, Sara’s still asleep.”

He nods, looking a bit sheepish at how loud he’d been, and that little pinch of worry reappeared between his eyebrows. “Did she sleep okay?” he whispers back.

“She slept through the night, actually,” you tell him. “I’m thinking we should just let her sleep as long as she wants -- her body needs rest.”

Mingyu nodded. “That sounds like a good idea. How did you sleep?” he asks you, eyeing you carefully.

“Not too bad,” you say, feeling a little anxious under the weight of his gaze. “I woke up a little earlier than normal, but I got enough.” You give him a small smile. “How did you sleep, now that we’re at it?”

He grins. “I slept great. Thanks for asking.”

“Good to hear,” you say. 

You just stand there in the kitchen, smiling awkwardly at each other, before Mingyu says, “so...have you eaten yet?”

“Oh! Um, no,” you say, wondering why you’re always surprised whenever he chooses to speak to you even though you’re literally the only one in the room.

“Let me make you something,” he says. “We’ve got a lot of time until you need to leave, and I’ve never seen you eat breakfast.”

“I’m surprised you noticed that,” you say quietly. 

He winks at you. “I notice everything,” he says. “So, do you like eggs?”

He goes to the fridge and starts removing things. “Yes, I do,” you say, sincerely hoping he was just teasing and he doesn’t notice how you’re blushing. 

You only realize you’re staring him down when he looks at you with one eyebrow raised. “You in there?”

“Oh,” you say, yet again. You’re flustered today -- for some reason, it feels like your thoughts are taking a longer time than is average to come out of your mouth in any way that makes sense. You fixate on his broad hands chopping some garlic, and suddenly you’re speaking. “Yeah, sorry. It’s just...it’s a little stupid, but Jeri -- my sister, you know -- she was the one who always made me breakfast when we lived together in college. Even...even years later, she’d still text me occasionally to make sure I’d eaten.”

Where had that come from? Sure, it was all true -- the hard lump in your throat that made it difficult to say was evidence of that -- but why had you suddenly confessed such a thing to your nanny? You sigh. “Sorry, I don’t -- don’t really know why I just...told you that. Out of nowhere.” You look down at your hands, embarrassed.

He nods slowly, and his smile is tinged with sadness. “It’s okay,” he tells you. “I don’t mind.” He begins cracking eggs into the pan, stirring them with a pair of chopsticks to scramble them up. “What was your sister like?”

You raise your eyebrows at him. “What?” he says. “I’m curious. You don’t have to tell me, but I do genuinely want to know.”

Your mouth twists into a half-smile. “Well, she and I were like two sides of the same coin,” you say, going to sit at the island in the middle of the wide kitchen so he can hear you over the sizzling vegetables and eggs in the pan. “Inseparable since childhood, you know. She’s two years younger than I am, but it always felt like we were twins, somehow. She was...” 

You trail off, thinking. Mingyu is glancing between you and the eggs on the stove, but you can tell he’s listening. Maybe it’s the quiet of the morning, and maybe it’s just him, but the dam breaks, and words spill out. “She was just as stubborn as me, but she didn’t have the ambition I have, or maybe the better word is ‘hubris’. I wanted to build something that would outlast me, but she just wanted to live somewhere quiet with her husband and a houseful of kids. But neither of us ever...ever tried to talk each other out of what we wanted. We both knew, I guess. She knew I couldn’t stand being mediocre, and I knew she hated the spotlight. And God, I loved that about her. She never resented me for my success or my money, because there was no competition.”

Mingyu takes the eggs off the stove and plates them in one smooth move, setting them in front of you as you finish speaking. He smiles at you as he hands you a fork. “She sounds great,” he says. 

“She is,” you say. “Was,” you correct. Your eyes suddenly burn, and to distract yourself, you pick up a glob of eggs with the fork and blow on it, eating it. Your eyes go wide. “These are good!” you exclaim.

Mingyu gives a sarcastic little bow. “Thanks,” he says. He’s interrupted by a cry from the baby monitor -- Sara seems to have woken up.

You move to stand up to grab her, but Mingyu stops you. “You eat,” he instructs. “I’ll go get her.”

You watch him go up the stairs with the trace of a smile as you continue eating the eggs. He comes downstairs with Sara a few minutes later, and her little head is resting against his big shoulder. He’s bouncing her gently, and you are struck for a moment at how tiny she looks in his thick arms.

In minutes you’ve finished your eggs, knowing you don’t have long until you need to leave. But you do wash your plate and the pan that Mingyu used to make the eggs, despite his protests. “I may not have given the impression that I know how to do the dishes the first few weeks you worked here, but I promise I do,” you tease. 

He shakes his head, amused. “I know you do, you just don’t seem like someone who should wash dishes.”

“Why?” you ask indignantly.

He shrugs. “Kind of like how a queen shouldn’t make her own bed in the morning. You’ve got me for that.”

You actually laugh at that. “Are you calling me a queen?”

He nods his head emphatically. “Of course you are,” he says with a grin. 

Your smile is big enough that it’s hurting your face. “Well, thank you,” you say. “But you’re not my maid. In fact,” you continue, and grab your now-clean fork, “I think you deserve a promotion.”

In a dramatic march, you make your way over to Mingyu, who watches you with amused eyes as you stop in front of him, reaching up to tap both his shoulders with the fork before tapping the crown of his head. “You’ve been knighted,” you say seriously. And he giggles at you -- a surprisingly high, breathy sound that instantly fills you with warmth.

“I’m gonna ask all my friends to call me Sir Mingyu,” he tells you. 

Solemnly, you nod. “I’m glad to know this went straight to your head.”

He laughs again, and you start to walk away. “Well, Princess Sara and Sir Mingyu, have a lovely day. The queen needs to go to work.”

He’s still grinning at your antics by the time you make it out the door.

On the drive to work, you catch yourself smiling to yourself. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d been silly like that -- it had probably been since college, and even then that side of you didn’t come out often. You had grown up far too fast, a necessity in a household like you grew up in, and the only person who really could bring it out of you had been Jeri, whom you had been that way for to try to save her from growing up too fast, too.

When Mingyu had entered your house today, he’d been your employee, but when you’d left the house, you felt that you had kind of become friends. The thought, as odd as it was, was also comforting. Because raising a child with a nanny felt clinical and business-y of you, but raising a kid with a friend was probably the closest this could get to how it should be. You make a mental note to make a raise schedule for Mingyu so that he never ever ever leaves your employment.

***

Before

You look between Jisung and Jeri with a raised eyebrow. Letting out a puff of air, you lean forward. “The things I have seen today,” you say while pinching the bridge of your nose, “are things I never thought I’d see when I asked you to house-sit for me. And things I’m expecting and hoping to never see again. Are we clear?”

Jisung’s face is bright red, and Jeri looks traumatized. They both nod.

“Although I am pretty impressed at your creativity,” you continue, feeling the need to lighten the mood in the room. “The kitchen island, Jisung? I mean, that was acrobatic of you both.”

The two of them look at each other and burst into giggles. “Okay, we’re sorry,” Jeri says, her face just as red as Jisung’s, but she can finally look you in the eye. “But can you blame us? I mean, we’re newlyweds.”

“Newlyweds who got carried away,” you agree. “Jisung, it’s okay. I’m not going to commit any murders today. You can look at me.”

“I am so embarrassed,” your sister’s husband groans. “It was my fault, I just --”

Jeri cuts in. “No, it was me, I just --”

You roll your eyes. “I really don’t care who started it. I just care that every single inch of this kitchen is sprayed with medical-grade chemicals and that you promise to never ever ever let me catch you like that again. Especially in my own house.”

“Deal,” says Jeri. Her eyes are twinkling with humor, and you have to concentrate to keep yourself from grinning at her. Because she knows what you’re about to say as Jisung hurries out of the room for the bleach.

“Damn, girl. Good for you.”

***

“Boss?” Cory’s voice sounds as though it’s coming to you from down a long hallway, and you snap back to earth with a little shake of your head.

“Sorry, Cory,” you say, shifting in your seat and reaching for your glass of water. “What were you saying?”

Cory picks at the potatoes on his plate and looks around the fancy restaurant at anything but you before fixing you with a blue-eyed gaze that is surprisingly intense. “I figured this would be the best time to confess.”

What? You’re sure you misheard him. “Confess?” you repeat.

“Yeah,” he says, and in spite of himself, he’s grinning. “Listen, we’ve worked together for seven years. We met freshman year of college, and you really believed in me more than anyone ever has in my life. I -- I’ve kept this in for a long time, actually. Years.”

“Are you telling me you have feelings for me?” you ask him bluntly.

“Well, yeah,” he says, and he blushes. “Are you telling me you had no idea?”

“I seriously didn’t,” you say, your head spinning. You take a deep breath and pray you’ll find the right words. “Listen...I appreciate you so much, Cory. I couldn’t ask for a better editor, and you’re absolutely right -- I have so much faith in you and your skills. This business, my business, wouldn’t be anywhere without you.”

He gives you a sad half-smile. “But?” he says.

“But,” you say, nodding. “But my sister just died, like, three and a half months ago. And I’m still trying to figure out what my life looks like from here. A lot is changing for me...and even if it weren’t, I still don’t think I’d be sure how I felt about being in a relationship with anyone.”

Cory seems to chew on these words as you speak. “Well, I can’t say that comes as a surprise to me,” he says after awhile. “But it was getting to be too much for me to hold in.”

“I understand,” you say, avoiding his gaze.

“Listen,” he says, and he reaches across the table to put a hand over yours. “I want you to take your time and think about it. Think about me, in that way. Figure out if it makes sense in your head like it makes sense in mine. I won’t give up on you, so take your time.”

“Okay,” you say. “I’m sorry.”

“No need to apologize,” he says -- but you aren’t apologizing for anything you said. You’re apologizing for the way you want to run out of the restaurant, far away from the yearning look in his eyes.

***

Before

“But what if --”

“Save it,” Jeri says, brushing mascara over your eyelashes. 

“Seriously though. What if I --”

“You’re not going to mess it up,” she tells you. She closes the tube of mascara and then pulls the graduation cap from your bag. “Just do the speech like you practiced. You ran it through with me like a thousand times.” She pins the cap on in record speed.

“But what if I do mess it up?” you finally say.

She puts both her hands on your shoulders and gives you a look that shuts you up right away. “If there’s one thing I know about my sister, it’s that she is always prepared.”

You swallow hard at this. “Oh, God,” you breathe. “I’m not sure...”

“Why are you so nervous? You were fine yesterday,” she asks you.

“Because what if it all fails? Not just the speech,” you clarify at her quizzical glance. “All my plans, the magazine, the business...what if it all just fails?”

She gives you a gentle look. “Then we’ll start over. We always do.”

This is what gives you the strength to walk onto that stage: the knowledge that even if the worst possible thing happens, you and Jeri will always have each other.

***

There is, in your opinion, nothing worse than being exhausted and anxious. It creates the perfect storm: desperately wanting to close your eyes and escape the thoughts swirling around in your brain, but also being entirely unable to relax, which is the state you find yourself in after the dinner with Cory. So you toss and turn in your hotel room, a three hour drive from home, and wonder how Sara is doing.  

Your last text from Mingyu had come in at around 7pm, and he was putting her to bed then. According to his updates, her cough had gotten worse. Cory’s confession truly couldn’t have come at a worse time, when you were already so preoccupied with Sara’s health. At 10:57pm you check your phone one final time before your exhaustion beats back your anxiety with a stick and you reluctantly sink into uneasy dreams.

It seems like minutes of sleep before you wake to your phone ringing. Your eyes fly open, but you suddenly realize your arms and legs aren’t working as you try to reach for it. Your breath speeds up, but you can’t open your mouth to scream. And spiders seem to be crawling out of the shadows on the walls.

Finally you can twitch your fingers, then move your arms, then sit up and grab your phone. Still shaking, still hyperventilating, still sick with worry, you check the caller ID and your stomach drops -- it’s Mingyu. 

You quickly answer. “Hi,” you say breathlessly.

His voice is slightly muffled. “I’m taking Sara to the hospital,” he says, his tone urgent. “I don’t think she’s breathing very well.”

The air has left your lungs. You hear yourself answer him -- something about thanking him and you’ll see them soon -- and then you drop the phone. For a split second you’re frozen in panic. Then, you leap into action. You grab your keys from the nightstand, leaving everything behind but your phone and its charger, and race down the hallway to the elevator in your pajamas.

What follows is the most tense three hour drive of your life, riddled with flashbacks to phone calls from police officers on the highway. “You’re sister’s been involved in an accident,” you hear over and over in your head. “Come to the hospital.” You’re gripping the wheel so tightly that your knuckles ache, and you alternate between struggling to breathe and silently weeping. There are whole minutes, maybe more, from the drive that you don’t remember. You don’t know if you’re speeding. You don’t know what time it is. The only thing you can think is Please God, don’t let another member of my family die in that goddamn hospital. 

You had hoped you’d never have to walk into this lobby again -- never have to smell the chemicals or see the doctors or talk to the front desk people and tell them who you’re there for. You never wanted to be in this same elevator, going up to this same floor, possibly to the same hallway you’d visited nearly four months earlier. And yet, here you are. It’s like your brain can’t believe it -- nothing feels real. If things got any weirder, you’d be tempted to reach your hand out to the nearest wall, half-expecting it to dissolve into smoke in your hands. 

You round a corner, arriving in another one of those identical hallways, your heart in your throat, and you see him. Mingyu is standing about halfway down the hallway, talking to a doctor, his shoulders set in anxious tension, and before you can stop yourself you’re calling for him. You don’t even register his shocked expression as he turns to see you, and you don’t even realize that you’re running to him before he opens his arms to you and your collide with him.

He wraps you up tight in his grasp. “Hey,” he grunts in your ear, probably from the speed at which your body crashed into his, but his voice is calm. “She’s okay, they’ve got her on an oxygen machine. They’re giving her great care. She’s gonna be fine.”

The doctor clears her throat. “Who is this, Mingyu?” she asks. 

Mingyu doesn’t let go. “She’s the child’s legal guardian,” he explains over your head. 

The doctor makes an understanding noise. “I’ll let you have a minute,” she says.

Mingyu turns his attention back to you. “Breathe for me,” he says. “Big deep breaths.”

You try to obey, and the only thing you can think about is how shaky the breath sounds as it enters your lungs. “Can I see her?” you say, and your voice comes out in a raspy whisper.

“Yeah,” he says. “She’s just in here.”

He ushers you into the hospital room, where Sara lies in a little crib, her nose hooked up to a cannula pumping oxygen into her lungs. You approach her sleeping form, only vaguely aware of Mingyu’s arm across your shoulders, and bend down to brush a trembling hand over her forehead.

“She’s really going to be fine,” Mingyu murmurs to you. You look up at him, and for some reason, the way he is looking at you is what tips you over the edge. The emotions spill over, and you find yourself burying your face in his chest as you sob.

He doesn’t say anything. He just wraps his arms around you, pulling you closer into him and letting you cry. You don’t even have it in you to be ashamed of how desperately you’re clinging to him, fingers bunching into the fabric at the back of his shirt, crying the first tears you’ve shed in front of another person besides Sara since the funeral. His grip on you tightens the harder you sob, and you dazedly consider the idea that Mingyu might be trying to squeeze the sadness out of you. It’s an oddly comforting thought, and soon enough you’ve released all your emotions, the evidence of them two unflattering tearstains on Mingyu’s tee.

You take a calming breath in, pulling back to look at his face. His eyes are red, and his face is set in stony lines. It is then that you realize he’s not okay. 

Several pieces of the puzzle that is the man in front of you seem to collide together in your brain at once: the way he talks about kids and the ease with which he interacts with Sara; the way the doctor seemed to know him on a first name basis; the way he’d held you almost as though he was also trying to hold himself together too. Mingyu is familiar with this particular part of this particular hospital. Mingyu has had personal experience with sick kids.

But you don’t say anything about it yet -- you know it would be too much to ask him to explain what is most probably a complicated and painful history. So you just give him a watery smile and say, “thank you for being here. And for taking such good care of her.” You pause and draw in a hitching breath before adding, “Sir Mingyu.”

He gives the tiniest smile. “I’m glad I was able to get her here in time to get her help.”

“Well, you’ve got a job until Sara moves out,” you promise him.

The smile gets bigger. “That’s a long time,” he says in a falsely skeptical tone. “You sure you won’t get sick of me?”

You roll your eyes. “Oh yeah, I forgot that you’re incredibly unpleasant to be around,” you say scathingly. “But seriously. I couldn’t have asked for a better person to take care of Sara. You need a raise or something.”

He shakes his head. “Just pay Chan a finder’s fee instead,” he jokes. “I’m sure he’d love that.”

“He probably would. And I probably owe him one,” you say, wiping the sticky tear residue from your eyes.

To your surprise, you once again find yourself wrapped up in a tight squeeze from Mingyu. “Thank you for getting here so fast,” he says quietly.

“Of course,” you say. You hesitate before winding your arms around him and squeezing him back -- perhaps hearing the unspoken truth that Mingyu needed you there as much as you needed him.

***

Before

“I’m never going hiking again,” Jeri complains, and Jisung laughs.

“You’re going to see the view, and you’re going to change your mind,” he predicts. 

You grin at their banter -- this is only the second time Jeri has invited her new boyfriend along on one of the hikes, but you can tell he really likes her. And according to that last comment, he also knows her pretty well.

Cory is nearly sprinting up the trail ahead of you. “Come on, guys!” he calls. “We’re almost there.”

You’re feeling a little irritated with him because he tried to guide you in the complete wrong direction, but you try to keep that off your face as you trudge up the mountain. Sure enough, around two more bends is the summit. You are looking into a deep valley with a crystalline lake at the bottom, and the sight pricks your eyes with emotion. You refuse to cry in front of Cory, though, so you instead turn your attention to Jisung and Jeri, the former of whom is carrying your sister the remaining fifteen feet to the summit.

But when your sister sees the valley and the lake, she hops off her boyfriend’s back and scurries nearly to the edge. You have to grab the back of her backpack to stop her from overextending herself and hurtling over the edge of the cliff. “Easy there,” you say to her, but she’s not listening, her eyes shining with the sight. 

“Have you ever seen anything more beautiful?” Jeri asks. 

You look back at Jisung, and you can see it in his eyes -- he’s absolutely whipped for her. You’re almost surprised that he doesn’t kiss her in front of all of you. Exasperatedly, you chuckle, thinking privately that you should probably start adding to Jeri’s wedding fund. 

You stay up there for almost an hour before disaster strikes, but surprisingly, it’s you who twists an ankle tripping over some rocks. You wince as the group is making its painfully slow way down the mountain, your ankle throbbing with every step. “I need a breather,” you tell them. “Go on without me.”

But as Jisung and Cory start to move away, Jeri plants herself beside you. “Go on without you?” she repeats. “But we’ll be so entirely lost without you. Don’t worry. I’ll stay with you.”

***

The hospital keeps Sara in for one more night before she’s improved enough to be off the breathing machine. You can’t help but tear up as they place her into your arms, and she reaches up to your face to pat your chin clumsily. “Hey, baby girl,” you coo. “You did so good.”

Alone, you soak in the feeling of her comforting weight on your chest for a few more minutes before gently laying her in her carrier. She fusses a little, and you speak in soothing tones: “Shhh, it’s okay, my love. We’re going home. You won’t have to be in there for too long.”

And then finally, finally, finally, you get home. Walking in the front door with Sara to the empty house feels both soothing and incomplete, and you realize as you hoist her carrier to her bedroom so you can sit in her rocking chair that your mind is on that tall, dark-haired man who laughs at your ridiculousness and held you when you fell to pieces. You had bullied Mingyu into going home to rest, knowing that if he had stayed with you like he planned, he’d be in caretaker mode. You don’t regret your choice to send him home, but you also realize that you feel that he should be here, with the both of you. The fact that he isn’t leaves a small empty space in your heart.

Still, it’s heaven enough to hold Sara and rock her and clean her stuffy nose off every few minutes. Settling back into the chair and letting Sara’s weight onto your chest, you think that there’s almost nothing that could make this moment more perfect. 

And then, you cough.

#svt #seventeen #seventeen mingyu #kim mingyu #mingyu as pseudo-dilf?? #mingyu angst #mingyu fluff #mingyu x reader

[fuck-customers]

This is more of a fuck managers but

At my job both the GM and the Kitchen Manager walked out. They were fiancés and getting married that week (this was a few weeks ago) and they’re also trying to get pregnant so they decided work on top of all that was too stressful. Which fair enough, but instead of staying their full two weeks they decided to walk out.

Normally this would probably be fine. I work in kitchen, and literally that’s one less person in the kitchen and we need a new manager right? Whatever not that bad. I hold the opinion that your average worker is more important than your manager, cause if we all quit that brings the business down, your manager quits and whatever you need a new manager. AND I WAS RIGHT.

Cause you know what happed? After the KM quit so did MOST OF OUR COOKS. They decided fuck this. Which like fair enough, with the manager quitting it meant that our lead, who got treated like shit by the managers, would have to make up the difference and help cover their shifts on top of their own. Then two more starting wage cooks quit. Our assistant manager basically has to do the work of the Kitchen Manager now and work doubles all week on top of it because after all this we had one person left on each station, him on grill, me on fry, and someone else on backboards.

Now we have expos training in kitchen and one more new person training on fry so it’s not as bad, except one of our expos dropped a pan on her hand and ended up with 2nd degree burns and nerve damage. And she’s still working 😬.

I’m just having a difficult time because I’m autistic and this is way too much change for me. It’s new people, who are playing new music (really fucking loudly I might add), we aren’t doing our jobs right anymore, our cleaning tasks have basically gone out the window, people keep moving things and leaving things out for no reason and I’m trapped because I can’t quit cause a new job would be even more change and I’m one of two people who works fryer so that would be screwing my coworkers over.

Also my km quit for his mental health while actively making everyone else’s mental health worse. The lead who quit after he walked out was supposed to be the assistant kitchen manager but they refused to promote her after she wanted to have a few less hours (she was working 91 hours) and instead promoted a guy who they promised they weren’t going to. He’s chill but it sucks so hard for her. Also I just graduated, and after I left school my km decided my availability didn’t fucking matter anymore and stared changing my schedule, which again, autistic. So I put in a new availability request to get consistent and fewer hours (because I never fucking wanted full time hours) and he decided to give me four closing shifts in a row on a week he knew I was going to be busy. And then on the day after my four shifts he fucking quit. Fuck him.

Also the two of them had the gall to be mad that no one wanted to talk to them or come to their fucking wedding

[notasapleasure]

Doctors, series 7 episode 134, 'The Two of Us' (2006)

Joplin's second run at neverending BBC daytime soap, Doctors. It was on youtube the whole time! So maybe if I try hard enough I can find his episode in season 4 too, wish me luck...

Gary! I didn't try hard enough to find you before evidently.

Ru ro, hiding wedding ring? Or just finally getting rid of it after splitting from the woman we see next talking about how excited she is to have the baby of the guy she just broke up with...?

Guys this episode is 1. v soapy and 2. v Joplin heavy! Enjoy!

Some flowers arrive for him, aww!

Double aww he's man enough to admit he was nervous about meeting up with his ex, and he's been ticking off the weeks since they split up :')

"So what are we here to discuss...on our wedding anniversary?"

"I'm sorry, it was just a coincidence."

Holy shit lady

"Look Gary, it's just another day!"

"It's gonna take me a while to see it like that."

But he's been seeing 'Pippa' for a month or so, which really flummoxes unnamed pregnant lady,* who spills sparkling water everywhere.

*Claire

Oh my god, the supporting ladies are all dressed as pirates during their downtime. This IS 2006!!

oh dang one of them is Pippa...

lololol "That's what we came here to discuss isn't it? A permanent separation?"

Gary, tormented by ~~memories~~ wishes to sell the old flast and get a divorce. Claire still hasn't broken the baby news to him.

"I've still got some of your CDs back at the flat."

"I'm not missing any."

"Not even your Spice Girls album?"

"I never owned a Spice Girls album."

"You don't remember dancing round the kitchen to Wannabe?"

Babe, are you sure it wasn't your Spice Girls album?

He DID buy it!

Oh no, Pippa found a note on the flowers he accepted delivery for earlier: 'Dear Claire, happy anniversary, love from Gary xx'

And now Gary and Claire turn up joking about CDs!

Claire has to take a work call and Pippa wants to know...

"Has she come for her flowers?"

"Oh."

Babe.

He is a useless wet rag of a man who had a standing order with the florist and forgot to cancel it. And forgot to tell Pippa he was having lunch with his ex. Oopsie oopsie.

Meanwhile, that stress might be getting to pregnant Claire....

Man Pippa is insecure about Gary having lunch with his ex.

But y'know. He's pathetic and gorgeous so she forgives him.

Off she goes, but Claire's called a nurse to their address and Gary notices something's not right.

"Pregnant? How?"

now, sweetheart, has no one explained...?

"No one said it was impossible Gary, just highly unlikely..." (Claire has fibroids)

Ohhhhhhhh she lied and said 12 weeks and not 20!! The look of relief on his face oh no lady this is gonna bite you in the ass we're only 13.55 minutes into a 28 minute episode!

"Talk about me rushing into things... whose is it then?"

Ajsjdjjdjfff watching Claire dig this hole in real time as Gary reminds her that for years she was the one who said she didn't want kids because of her business (standard career woman vs mum conflict 🙄)

But to be fair she's also like 'what was I meant to say to every nosey fucker who asked when we were starting a family?'

Whatever Pippa's work is it seems to involve bitching about Claire with her colleague non-stop. Meanwhile Claire is telling the nurse how Gary *clearly* doesn't want kids. While Gary's making actual heart eyes down the phone to Pippa. And...not helping matters by lying to Pippa about Claire having left 'soon after you'. Are all soap characters compulsive liars??

Naturally Pippa hears voices, he says something unconvincing about the TV and her friend is listening and is gonna feed that suspicion...not least as Claire left him not vice versa.

I feel like Claire is being a real nob about Gary, assuming things about him when she never tried to speak to him about them...

He keeps putting on funny voices though, which is adorable. "She was always career-minded. ~~not the '''m0thERing kINd'''~~" ok babe way to not actually disguise your true feelings. He does admit that they were shit at listening and talking to each other so. Idk. Growth through distance?

Oooh Claire's bleeding and Pippa's at the door coz she left her keys!

Pippa is straight up batshit. Confronts Gary about Claire still being there and when he says she's pregnant and ill Pippa doesn't seem to get why he can't just...throw her out on the streets.

When he goes back up, the nurse leaves them alone and Claire, who's already been opening up about her vulnerabilities, admits to Gary it's his.

Obviously it turns out they both wanted kids hurp durp

And natch Gary *doesn't* want a divorce

And of course Claire is freaked out at the idea of staying together just for the kid because that's what made her parents miserable

But look at the puppy dog eyes

He knows the problem was they stopped talking

Meanwhile Pippa just....hands the keys back and goes

Claire! How can you say no to a man with that many shirt buttons undone?? Professing his love for you??

And now he knows Pippa's left him so he's free to badger Claire into being allowed to come to the hospital.

"I'm coming as a friend."

...as the actress said to the bishop 😏

Omg the original airing was followed later that day by Julian Clary's Who Do You Think You Are? which I must have watched...

---

Rating

Dead? Nope!

Evil? No, not even a bad boyfriend!

Affects the plot? Now, I don't think Doctors operates on the basis of 'plot' so much as...placing one-off characters in situations. He's not the one with most control over the situation, but he does his best to assert himself bless.

Now, if you're into that kind of thing, I imagine he's very gorgeous. I am into the look, but the frank discussions of actually wanting a baby...not so much. Those undone buttons though! The side-lighting on his eyes! 3/5, it's good to be back in the game, Joplin fans <3

#adventures in joplin sibtain's imdb page #joplin sibtain #chook sibtain #bbc doctors #doctors #doctors tv show #doctors tv #doctors soap

[pbandjesse]

I had a good day. I am very cozy right now and I feel happy. I feel excited for the wedding. And I feel excited for the week.

This does not mean I wasn't stressed at points. But that was thankfully not the entire day.

I slept alright. I don't remember my dreams from last night. Not like the night before when I had such vivid and intense dreams. Getting up was tough though. But I got up and my hand hurt but I was in a good mood. I loved my outfit. I don't think the picture James got of me was a great one but it was still really cozy and this sweater is so soft.

We packed up the car and went to get breakfast. Because I was running the market today I had to be there early but that was fine. James helped me get everything over and then it was just. Very busy.

I had a lot to do. Setting up. Both my tables and my printing stuff. And people would take me up on that which was cool.

But there was a ton happening today. The kids fair, the bat box guy, there was a boat race, and music, and even Batman was there?? So it was a lot. But it was fun!

There were a few small issues. The wind was pretty bad and people kept wanting the sides down which I'm fine with but then the boat race asked for a path so to leave some open. And then I had to move two venders around and one was very much not happy with me. But I was able to fix it and everyone seemed pretty happy in the end.

It was cold though. I am glad James told me to bring a jacket. And I had fun regardless. My face just got a little wind burnt. I worked a lot on my circle loom and it was great. I also did get to print with a few people. When the bat box guy came, his name is Chris, I told him people could come and print words on their boxes with me and that ended up being so super cute. People were awesome today.

I didn't sell much. I decided my small knit bears should be half price because they are a little funny. And I sold 3. Plus I got $10 in tips for the printing. So honestly it wasn't a bad day. Especially since I got paid to be there today I wasn't to upset.

At 1 everyone packed up. There had been some confusion when someone parked where the venders load in and out and we didn't know who they were and I was like. Okay I am in charge so I will go check in. And it ended up being a venders mom who was here to get her so no problem at all. All good.

I got lots of hugs and congratulations and good luck about the wedding. I struggled to pack the car a little because something went in on the wrong order so the trunk wouldn't close and I had to take everything out and start over. And the parking lot was a little wild so having all my shit on the ground was not ideal.

But I packed it up and locked the car and headed inside to teach James the cannery.

James had to put a few fires out with an event but I ended up running around helping Angie and answering some questions for a few minutes. And then we headed to the cannery.

It was really fun showing them everything. I decided to both give instructions for our small adult cannery, as well as for a regular kids one. So James can help out during the school year. And it went great. It took a little less then an hour to do the entire run through. Srt up, program, breakdown, issues you could have, how to fix them, and the choosing of who our dads will be so they don't have to go up stairs much.

I also showed them how to make a chase and we set it up for our group. I felt great about it and I'm really excited to get to do this with James and our family.

I was really tired after this. I gave James a smooch and headed home. I was a little bit driving in a fog. But I got home safely and everything was good.

When I got home I struggled with the stuff I brought in from the car plus two packages and I ended up breaking my nail and when I say I was devastated, I am not exaggerating. I just want to have nice nails for the wedding!! So instead of ripping the rest off I super glued it?? It seemed to have worked but I did it over my nail polish so I don't know if it will hold but my nail seems like. Really stiff and strong so I guess we'll see what happens.

I had lunch and chatted with Jess and realized I needed to lay down.

I got cozy in bed and waited for James to come home. And when they got back they laid with me until I fell asleep.

I woke up at 6 and was a little distressed. My allergies had kicked up and my nose was so dry I barely got any oxygen for my whole nap and it was nice fun to be awake. But slowly I got it together. And me and James got to work.

We cut all our stickers out and while James made us dinner I stuck 100 stickers to 100 matchbooks. And I am thrilled with how they came out. This was such a good idea. We did print to many stickers but I figure we can just have them in the table too like confetti.

After we finished that me and James both worked on editing our vows. This is a funny thing because I had written then forever ago and was like. Okay! Knocked that off the list!

But now that it's almost here I'm like. Nervous!! Like self conscious. I have read them so many times at this point and I am afraid that they seemed to generic. Not personal enough. Which is fair because I have read so many others that I have taken good phrases.

So last night at midnight I started editing and taking stuff out and adding jokes and trying to make them more. Authentic feeling.

But there were still two paragraphs I wasn't thrilled with. Something was off.

So me and James both worked on our vows. James ended it scrapping half of there and I sent mine to Callie to get feedback after some changes. And honestly it think it's much better. Could it be even better? Probably but also it is already 550 words and I didn't want it to be longer then a page. I will probably look over it again this week but I'm happy.

Callie said it was good. And we discussed how I wrote it with declarative thesis statements and 3 supporting sentences. That I approached it like a paper. She thought that was very funny.

I got a shower and tried not to pick at my face. I have a new little psoriasis on my upper lip and I am trying hard to leave it alone but my hands keep finding it. Hopefully it settles quickly.

Now me and James are in bed. It is chilly but in a nice way. Tomorrow there are chores to do. And then I am working an event tomorrow. Which is a wedding apparently! James just told me. I didn't think I was doing another wedding before my own but I am. It will be nice to have one more.

I hope I get good sleep tonight and wake up with so much energy tomorrow. Wish me luck. Goodnight everyone!!

[hope-of-virgo]

Twitter, while technically still a website you can go to, has definitely seen better days. From a distance, it's been amazing watching Musk eat huge amounts of shit, and Greta Thunburg fucking murdering a dude in 140 characters or less, but the main thing I used Twitter for was as a mindfulness journal, as well as a sort-of blog to keep my inner circle up to date with what I was doing. Usually when a major life development happened, I'd jump on the hellsite app and talk about it a bit, but this is a pretty good alternative.

People who follow me on Insta already know, but a few weeks ago we got engaged.

We went and did a nature walk, and I asked her on this overhang sort of thing where you can see the entire forest canopy and understorey. So now we're happily ex-girlfriends.

My future mother-in-law was...unimpressed that I'd left her out of the loop on this one, but in fairness I did use up a bunch of goodwill when I asked her to teach me how to "peel" a rabbit.

To get really fucking gay for a moment here though, I absolutely love this woman (hence the marriage proposal). She's probably about the only person I can say has ever actually given a fuck about my wellbeing, and has stuck by me through the stress of working in healthcare through a pandemic and the associated near-s**cide that the stress of working in healthcare in a pandemic brought about. She's also supported me through my transition, which has been an absolute load off; I know a lot of trans folks whose marriages or relationships straight up collapse when the egg cracks. And the fact of the matter is that I catch myself multiple times a day with a shit-eating grin on my face because I'm thinking about a joke we shared or a meal we had together, or imagining what we'll be getting up to in 10 years time together, so I'm taking that as a sign.

Currently the plan is that we'll get married in like October or November this year, because spring weddings are cute. Not looking forward to the transphobia I'll likely face when picking out a wedding dress, but that's kind of a daily struggle so 🤷🏻‍♀️. I've currently got an idea for my bridal outfit, but I'm playing it close to my chest because I want to surprise the fuck out of her again.

The algorithm had my fucking number afterwards though, because she changed her relationship status on Facebook and suddenly I, a non uterus-owner, was getting advertisements for prenatal vitamins. Like, buddy, I would if I could, don't go rubbing salt in the wound. ("I Would Get Pregnant If I Could", and other very cisgender things you can tell yourself in the throes of denialism).

Fortunately, the process of getting married is a) straightforward, and b) fairly cheap. In my state it's as simple as "lodge notice of intention to marry", then a month later you can get a celebrant to do the ceremony. We've got pretty simple tastes all things considered, but I also quite like the general aesthetic that goes along with non-traditional/non-religious weddings. So if you see a bunch of wedding shit crossing your feed from me, that's why.

Happy 2023 everyone!

#sapphic wedding #engagement #wedding #gay wedding #hope of virgo

[mrsmarlasinger]

The fact that my girlfriend and I have been dating for almost a year and I've only seen her twice since we got together is really getting to me.

I was going to visit her a month ago, but she changed her mind and told me last-minute, when I mentioned looking for plane tickets, that she didn't want me coming during her last few weeks of college. Which is totally fair and understandable. Honestly, it took some stress off my plate too.

She suggested a post-graduation trip, to which I gladly agreed. But she said she'd have to check with her parents first to see if her family wanted to do anything with her then, and she never mentioned it again. So I haven't brought it up either. I'm doing utterly fuck-all with my life, so I'm the only imposition here, not her. I figure if she wants me to come down, she'll say something, and she hasn't.

She says she's trying to make a trip down here over the summer but I guess she's having trouble getting that together, so she's not sure she'll be able to.

If I'm honest? I'm kind of frustrated. Both of us have graduated and neither of us have jobs yet, so it's not like there's super strict schedules or commitments we're planning around. Right? I can absolutely understand her not wanting to fly down here, because travel is sooo expensive right now, but it's not like I'd ask her to pay for my plane ticket down there.

If she doesn't want to have me over for a week...I mean, that's fine, but, like, we're planning on living together...? She said if she could magically transport me down to Philly, she'd do it in a heartbeat. Well, I'll scrounge up the money, I'll give my parents the usual lies, I'll pack my suitcase, I'll find a ride to the airport, I'll get my shit together and magically show up at her doorstep if she's willing to share her bed for a week. For just a few days, even. I'll be quiet and clean, I promise. It's not like I'm gonna eat much of her food. (Ha. Did you get it. Did you get the eating disorder joke.) Hell, I'll pay for our damn alcohol.

I'll make it happen if she will.

I love her. She loves me. We've been dating for ten months and haven't seen each other since January. We want to see each other. So I don't know why it looks like it won't happen anytime in the foreseeable future. I could ask her about it, but, god, when? Feels like we hardly talk anymore. I'll bring up the subject, just a little nudge, and she'll say she's busy or she's trying to make it happen or whatever.

I know I sound upset, but in actuality, it's not even that anything's wrong with our relationship. I try to think of things and, truly, there's not much. I do wish we'd communicate more. I bring up my mental health issues—I hint at my mental health issues, really—and she gets quiet. She really, really doesn't like talking about things, but Jesus, that's all I want to do.

I love her so much. Every day I'm thinking proposals, flowers, wedding rings. But can she deal with all my shit? Can she deal with all my shit long-term? Does she want to? Because I am not getting better, I've been getting worse for almost eleven years now, and I will probably never be okay. I cannot promise her I'm not gonna trip and bleed and starve and cry forever. And, shit, who could deal with that?

Fuck.

I'll see her when I see her. Whenever, if ever, that is.

Your love language is physical touch, my darling. Today is our ten-month anniversary. Don't you want to touch me?

#personal #sorry sorry sorry i'm just Big Sad and trying to vent so i don't cry instead #self harm mention #ed mention #eating disorder mention #disordered eating mention #alcohol mention #drug mention #long post #long post cw

[justasadboi]

I’m having a hard fucking time lately with just overall handling life rn. I’ve been super mean and abusive and bad and I know I don’t want to be doing these things they don’t make me or him happy and it makes me wanna kms I just get so overwhelmed but mad that I can’t deal. We’re moving and that plan has changed a million times, my sister is getting married and I’m in the wedding and doing the makeup and that’s stressful enough, my family has some problems going on with my dad and my mom and the wedding, and on top of all of that the man who stole from me and hurt me as a child decided to reach out to me and say he wants to take me and him and grandma and my bf to dinner and called me a brat which he has never done before I’ve always been princess. Something in my brain just snapped that day and I have been so enraged ever since that I feel like I can’t breath sometimes. He hurt me and no one knows and he using my grandma (his own mother) to stay at her place and use her car and money and is just such a piece of shit and it has cost her at least the last 20 years of her life and it’s just not fair. And I hate myself for doing hurtful things to others because I’m mad someone hurt me. I gotta get over it, I’ve tried very hard to stop using drugs and control my anger and then he comes in and fucks it all up and now I’m having outburst again and all I can think about is getting highhhhhhhhh. I’m in so much pain lately both mentally and physically that I just wanna go to Canada for assisted suicide.

:(

#bpd #I’m fr fr a piece of shit #and i’ve accepted that #I’m not blaming others anymore Ik it’s me #I need meds man #and therapy #I need to talk about this before I do something stupid #I’m an adult and my consequences are serious now #I just wanna go to a ward completely alone with a therapist so I can deal with things without hurting anyone including me #ouchie #i really just want some fucking oxy #stuck wondering forever

[genevievemd]

head scratches e and g

Confessions

Book: Open Heart: Third Year Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Genevieve McClure) Word Count: 1399 Rating: G Category: fluff, hurt/comfort Trope(s): and they were in the office

Summary: MC has been feeling unsteady, and Ethan has finally noticed. 

No Warnings

A/N: this turned into a post ch 4 (bk 3) fic. Because I’m a little disappointed that PB didn’t let us talk to Ethan about the weird shit he was doing with Harper. Also look at me, once again using a one word title, because I suck at titles and its 3 am and I’m too tired to try to come up with something better. 

The sun sets outside the floor to ceiling windows, casting the diagnostics office a dance of shadows and lights. Ethan gets up from the desk, walking over to shut off the fluorescent lights leaving the room in growing darkness. He rolls his neck as he returns to the desk, turning on the lamp on the wooden surface. 

He’s felt a migraine forming all afternoon, since Leland’s bombshell that Ethan’s rival would now be joining his team. The sense that all control is steadily slipping through his fingers, growing by the day, by the hour it seems. 

What was promised to be a democracy was now nothing but a dictatorship disguised in new equipment and pay raises. 

Ethan closes his eyes, leaning back in the chair, desperately trying to cling onto the thoughts of the one good and stable thing he has left. 

Genevieve. 

“How are you feeling?” 

A soft voice breaks through the silence, Ethan opening his eyes to see the very thing he was thinking of standing in the doorway. A pleasant warmth runs through him, he’s not a man that believes in fate, but there is something utterly divine in the way she appears at the very moment he needs her. 

Genevieve walks to the desk, every step that brings her closer settling the anxiety and rage boiling inside him. She smiles sweetly at him, perching herself on his desk.

“Like I’m slowly losing control.” Ethan sits up, a hand coming to rest on her knee, thumb tracing circles on her skin. “It’s bad enough we have to deal with Bloom, but now I have to contend with Tobias as his lapdog, as well.” 

“You have me, though,” Her green eyes fill with warmth as she leans forward, holding his cheek delicately in her hand. “And I’ll always be on your side.” 

“I know. I’m incredibly thankful for that, believe me.” 

They share a smile, that four letter word swirling around his head for the umpteenth time as they get lost in each other. Gen breaks the spell, hopping off the desk and settling in his lap. His arms come around her without a second thought, pulling her impossibly closer. 

“How can I help?” Her words are nothing more than a whisper as her fingers trace his jawline. 

“There’s nothing you can do, unfortunately.” 

“I can at least try and alleviate some stress. It’s what girlfriends are for, after all.” 

The word girlfriend sparks something inside him, setting his heart into a rapid beat. They haven’t discussed terms, which is mostly his fault. In the moments when he has Gen alone, he spends the time doing everything but talking. The need to make up for the months he had spent pushing her away taking precedence over defining what they are to each other. But he knows they need to have that talk soon, he can see her growing impatient and hesitant with each passing day. 

Gen takes off his glasses, tossing them onto the desk. She threads her fingers in his hair, scratching lightly as she goes. He closes his eyes again, forehead coming to rest on her shoulder as her fingers continue to weave through his hair.  

“I meant what I said at lunch, G. Just having you in the room makes me feel more at peace.” 

“Should I stop then?” 

“Absolutely not.” He kisses the side of her neck, nuzzling sweetly. “I will take any and all forms of affection from you.” 

“Quite the difference from last year, Doctor ‘We Need a Reset’.” 

“We all have a lapse in judgment from time to time.” 

“Mhm.” He can feel her giggle, his arms tightening around her. 

They settle into an easy quiet, drawing comfort from a shared space. 

As much as he wants to get lost in her touch, he can’t help but fall back to the thoughts of Gen’s newfound uncertainty. Ethan’s half sure it has something to do with him, but he hopes more than anything that it’s not. Praying instead that it all falls to the new easy comradery of the team and the ever growing changes their employer makes. 

He wants nothing more than for Genevieve to confide in him, lean on him in the same way he leans on her. 

“Are you going to tell me what’s been bothering you lately?” 

“It’s not important anymore.” 

“I beg to differ, Gen.” He presses a kiss to her shoulder before lifting his head to look at her. “You’ve been tossing and turning every night for a week. Something is wrong.” 

“I don’t want to ruin the moment or make you feel more stressed.” 

“So it’s me?” 

“I didn’t say that.” 

“You didn’t have to.” His brows furrow at her lack of honesty, she’s never been this closed off before. Its unnerving and so unlike her. Fear settles deep in his bones as their eyes meet, the need to find a solution growing with every second that passes. “I can’t fix it if you aren’t forthcoming.” 

“It’s already fixed, kind of.” She sighs, adverting her eyes from him again. “Harper more or less set things straight.” 

“Harper?” Ethan tilts his head, face scrunched in confusion. 

“I was... feeling unsteady, about my place on the team and with you.” 

“With me? The team I can understand, but I thought things were fine between us.” 

Her face drops, taking a breath. “You really have no idea?” 

Gen gets up from his lap, moving back to her previous spot on the desk. The distance she places between them is small, but enough to make his heart ache fiercely. 

“Let’s put it this way, if my ex joined the team and I spent more time reminiscing about our history - weddings and flamenco lessons and dates at some intimate bistro named after a freaking Disney character - and you had to sit here, constantly interrupted, looked over and forced to listen to every second of it, how would you feel?”

“I was doing that to you.” The pain he feels is instant, regret following quickly after. “I didn’t realize.” 

“Which, if I’m being honest, Ethan, makes it hurt ten times more. Because that says that you didn’t think of me or my feelings at all.” 

He wants to jump up and dispute her claims. She’s the only thing he thinks of on most days and it kills him that he’s somehow made her feel the opposite.

“I don’t care that you’re friends with your ex, Harper is wonderful. But when you sit here and talk about dates you went on and veer off topic to bring up some inside joke, it makes me feel like you don’t respect me or our relationship. Like this is a casual fling you could quickly let go off and not a committed relationship. Like I’m an afterthought and that isn’t fair to me.” 

Ethan stands from his chair, unable to cope with the distance between them any longer. He steps in front of her, holding her face in his hands. “This isn’t causal, Gen. Far from it. And you’re not an afterthought, you never have been.” 

“Yeah, well actions speak louder than words and half of your actions lately say otherwise.”

“You’re right. I was being inconsiderate and tactless” He can see by the way she pulls away that his words aren’t enough. If he’s going to really set things back into place, Gen is going to need a real apology. 

Ethan lets out a breath, holding her gaze for a long moment. “It was wrong of me to do that to you, even worse that I did it without realizing. Your thoughts and feelings are important to me, they take precedence. I’m sorry, Genevieve. Truly. It won’t happen again.” 

“Thank you.” She reaches for his hand, interlacing their fingers. 

“Not that there’ll be a next time, but should I do something this imbecilic again, feel free to call me out on it sooner rather than later.”

“Trust me, I will.” 

Her smile returns, brighter than it was when she’d walked in ten minutes ago. Ethan leans forward, pressing his lips to hers in a bruising kiss. He gets bolder when she sighs, as she opens up to him and threads her fingers through his hair. 

“This is teetering towards a pg-13 rating.” Gen mutters against his lips, their foreheads pressed together as they catch their breaths. “Take me home.” 

“Whatever you want, Rookie.”

a/n: it took me all week to get this to a point where I liked it enough to post it. But we did it and I like it enough. 

Tag Lists: 

Perma: @terrm9 @potionsprefect @iemcpbchoices @archxxronrookie @coffeeheartaddict @queencarb @lucy-268 @custaroonie @maurine07 @gryffindordaughterofathena @ohchoices @choicesaddict5 @fireycookie @wingedhairstylemusicweasel @oldminniemcg @sizzlingcashherohumanoid @taniasethi @mrs-ramsey @shanzay44 @aussieez @stygianflood @uneravine @openheartfan @fayeswiftie @stateofgracious @sophxwithers @estellaelysian @mm2305 @withbeautyandrage @udishaman @mercury84choices @silma-words @headoverheelsforramsey @iloveethanramsey 

Fic: @overwhelminglyaquarius @me-and-my-choices @schnitzelbutterfingers @crazy-loca-blog @a-crepusculo @drakewalkerfantasy @adrex04 @drariellevalentine @openheartthot @caseyvalentineramsey @aworldoffandoms @dulceghernandez @elwetritsche75 @emotionalswift2 @thegreentwin @starrystarrytrouble @utterlyinevitable @angela8754 @jooous @3riche @open-heart-ramseyy @xxsugarplumfluffsxx @alexabeta @smilex1104 @arnikki-2406 @jamespotterthefirst @openheartfanfics

#ethan ramsey x mc #ethan x mc #open heart #open heart fanfiction #Anonymous #asked and answered #ethan x gen #intimacy prompts

[disgruntledspacedad]

Javier Peña and commitment

a better love series  character analysis

Okay, not-so-briefly, let me finish what I started with this post, and say a few more words about Javier Peña and commitment. 

I think typical fanon describes Javi as a rogue, smoky, commitment-phobe man slut. The kind of guy who never settles down because he’s too busy having fun with his hookers. And yeah, at first glance, that’s a valid assumption. Javi definitely puts off that vibe. Hell, I think he even believes that of himself. 

I call bullshit, though. 

Javi is obviously an affection starved softie who is seeking intimacy and human contact. He just doesn’t know how to get it. Watch how deeply he connects with each of the women he sleeps with. He publicly greets the hookers in Medellín by name (like seriously what man does this??) and his relationship with Gabby seems intensely personal. He cares about what happens to her. He’s sweet, almost tender with her. 

This is a man with a huge heart and deep, unfulfilled needs.

Now, let me tease apart what I think happened that scarred Javi so profoundly.

I want to start with his family life. 

Now, a lot of this falls deep into headcanon territory, but this entire post is in context of Better Love, so that’s fine. However, I don’t think it’s too far off the mark for canon Javi, too. Just things to bear in mind.

Okay, so in The Kingpin Strategy, Chucho makes references to the fact that Javi has always been free spirited and idealistic. “You couldn’t wait to get out of here.”

Javi says, “It was right here, wasn’t it? The last time we had this conversation.” He sounds resentful, frustrated.

And Chucho replies, “You didn’t listen to me then, either.”

Man oh man, this says a lot. There’s a lot of reference to some very old bitterness, most (but not all of it) on Javi’s end. Let’s break it down.

In Better Love, Javi lost his mom to colon cancer when he was nineteen. We know from canon that he was chomping at the bits to get out of town, so I kind of think that Javi packed his bags the day that he turned eighteen and left. He’s from a small, close knit family, and him taking off into the blue without any warning would have shocked them. It would have hurt. 

The fact that he and Chuco have their conversation in the driveway is telling, too. 

I think Javi spent some significant time estranged from his family, and things were probably still rocky between them when his mom passed away. Colon cancer can be pretty subtle. Javi’s mom didn’t get a diagnosis until it was far too late for effective treatment. It would have hit her hard and fast, and she and Javi may not have had much time to reconcile. Hell, she was upset by Javi leaving - she may not have even told him what was going on.

Ouch.

Now, Javi is a guy that silently shoulders all of the responsibility that he’s not meant to carry, and he’s absolutely going to blame himself for taking off like that, and for being too stubborn to call home and check on Mom. Her death is the first in a series of wounds that lead to Javi’s (very misguided) belief that he’s a shit human, when truly, nothing could be further from the truth. 

Next, let’s talk about Lorraine. 

We know from Javi’s conversation with Steve that he thinks Lorraine was better off without him, giving us another glimpse of that deep seated self-loathing that we know he carries. Javi almost sounds wistful, like he regrets leaving her. Certainly, he regrets hurting her (more proof that Javi is actually a pretty sensitive guy - he knows he fucked up). But then we actually meet Lorraine in season three, and there’s something really weird there. 

Now, granted, Javi left her at the alter. Things are bound to be weird. But look at how he’s drawn to her, like he just can’t help crossing the room to see her again, even years later. That was the first big red flag for me. 

Then, watch how Lorraine treats him. She’s dismissive, pretty biting. And okay, yeah, she’s well within her right to be bitter. But then she says this:

“Can you imagine if we actually were married?”

Like, scoffs it. Guys, that’s a pretty serious dig. Lorraine is implying that Javi is beneath her, that he could never, ever be decent husband material. And watch his reaction. He takes this cut like he’s used to taking this cut from her. I don't know, but to me, it just reeks of a history of toxicity.

Men are absolutely capable of being the victims of toxic relationships and emotional abuse. I mean, duh. But try telling that to Javier Peña, with his tendency to internalize and self destruct. 

It would make a lot of sense to me that their relationship was built on this type of fucked up interaction, with Lorraine constantly pushing Javi to be this perfect dude with a white picket fence, and constantly calling him on his “failure” to do so. Maybe some of it was rooted in racism and classism - Lorraine seems like she could be that petty, materialistic type. Maybe Javi just wasn’t ready to settle down. 

Remember, too, that Javi’s love language is acts of service. He’s not a super romantic guy in the traditional sense, but he wants to do things for the person he loves, practical, tangible things to keep them safe and happy. If Javi thought that he could do better by Lorraine by putting a ring on her finger, it might be pretty easy to persuade him that he “ought” to do that, especially if there’s a continued history of verbal abuse. Remember that we tend to believe the things our abusers say about us, and that most of the time, this stuff starts subtle. If Lorraine is constantly suggesting that Javi’s not good enough for her, eventually, he’s going to fucking believe it. 

And consider the fallout of skipping town on your wedding day. No matter if the relationship is healthy or not, men tend to get the short end of the stick when it comes to breakup sympathy, and to leave a pretty woman like Lorraine waiting at the alter? My god, people would have been vicious to Javi. 

He probably believed all of the shitty things they said about him.

Javi threw himself into his career, and between a dangerous, high stress job with the DEA and never addressing these old hurts (Javi just doesn’t do that, you know), what you wind up with is a deeply wounded, “self sufficient” (read: emotionally constipated) man with raging self esteem issues and an intense fear of emotional intimacy. Now, all of this shit might have scarred Javi, but it doesn’t change his nature. Javi has a huge heart, he’s fiercely idealistic, and he desperately wants to do the right thing. And we all need love and human connection. 

Javi just denies this emphatically. 

But the ugly truth is, Javi avoids long term relationships because he thinks he doesn’t deserve them. It’s not even about being hurt again, not anymore. He almost sees it as an ethical thing, dammit. Give this boy a hug. 

This is why it took a fucking bomb to get him off his ass and admit his feelings for Ears. Javi would never, ever have done that without something very radical catching his attention. He would have let Ears walk straight out of his life, and yeah, it would have torn him to pieces, and he’d have always regretted it and wondered ‘what if,’ but that fear is an old, deeply rooted thing. That’s why I have Ears sort of pick up on the gravity of Javi saying, “I’m all in,” to her at the end of The Rules of Engagement. She’s not eloquent, but she’s pretty intuitive, and she knows that a commitment is something that Javier Peña does not take lightly.

And let me just say this about commitment: Javier Peña is a man who honors his fucking commitments. Watch what he’s willing to do for his informants - he always, always puts their wellbeing first, even before his own, even before the integrity of the hunt for the cartels. 

And Javier Peña is beyond devoted to bringing down the cartels. Like, that’s his entire arc in the show, right?

He’s committed to justice, too. Like fiercely, will do fucking anything to make things right, to make them fair. He wants to do the right thing so much it burns.

So, I don’t think it’s fair at all to say that Javier Peña is a man who fears commitment. He fears intimacy, while at the same time, he craves it. He fears human connection, when really, that’s the thing he needs most. 

But he doesn’t fuck around once he decides something. 

Which is the really, really fun thing about Better Love. For the first time, we get to see Javier Peña, the idealist who wears his poorly disguised heart blatantly on his sleeve, the man who goes for broke trying to get things done, the man who’s passions literally destroy him, in an intensely emotional relationship with another human. One who is just as devoted to him in return. 

So, anyway, if you’re still reading this, wow. I just wanted to babble about how Javier Peña is far more than brooding testosterone. Actually, he’s a very soft boy who needs patience and a lot of healing, and somebody who is willing to meet him exactly where he is and love him because of it.

And I want to give him that. 

#Javier Peña #Javier Peña x reader #narcos #narcos netflix #pedro pascal #Javier Peña headcanon #Javier Peña imagine #Javier Peña x you #better love #the rules of engagement #i will spam you guys about this precious disaster couple for as long as you let me

[hakasims]

Shitty Luca Movie Recap, Episode 1

Obessed with Luca Marinelli but can’t find it in yourself to watch a bad movie with him? Luckily for you I have no self-respect, so I’ve watched all of them, and I’m here to tell you what they’re about - and show some highlights!

Today’s entry:

Mary of Nazareth

Whether you’re into Jesus or not, it’s a bad movie: cheap, poorly made, melodramatic in the dullest way and not campy enough to keep you entertained. But that’s why I’m here: to entertain you in its stead.

You immediately realize you’re in for a treat when you meet the main villain.

Yep, this Kate McKinnon-looking motherfucker. But she doesn’t actually matter because she has zero scenes with Luca, who’s playing Joseph, Mary’s husband and Jesus’s stepdad. And from now on, I’m only focusing on him because even if you did decide to watch this movie, you’d be skipping between his scenes, admit it.

So here’s Joseph.

He’s a loser and he looks like shit. Though when we first meet him, he’s about to propose to Mary, so of course he looks sharp in his snow white kippah and cute little capris and stylish sandals.

I know the only other reason you might consider watching this movie is seeing Dr. Alissa Jung and her and Luca’s sizzling chemistry. Well, I can’t promise you chemistry but here she is having a staredown with a toothless snake who, I’m guessing, is supposed to be Satan because why the hell not.

Is this a reference to Eve? Is this foreshadowing Gethsemane? Who knows who cares, that snake is going down. I mean, we don’t see it go down, but when Joseph finally arrives, the snake is nowhere to be seen, and Mary is fine. Let’s be real: she squashed that snake.

Joseph doesn’t beat around the bush:

The face you make when he promises to build you a house but you know for a fact he’ll just end up crashing at your place in Berlin:

But also when you realize he’s one hairstyle away from being very pretty:

Later, they witness a woman being stoned by men for adultery. Mary doesn’t say anything, but she legit stares the motherfuckers down like she did that dumbass snake, and they run away.

Anyway, Mary gets preggers via an angel, postpones the wedding to go check on her old cousin, and comes back with a belly. Joseph, who at this point has been absent from the movie for almost 40 minutes, reacts like this:

Bitch, does she look like Alessandro Borghi to you? Get your dirty hand off her face!

So he throws a tantrum, during which he tries to destroy the house he’s currently building for Mary and himself, but the dumb bitch forgot it’s made of stone.

Luckily for him, it’s a dream. Yes, he yelled at Mary in real life, then fell asleep and had a dream in which he destroyed his house. But then the same angel (which is literally a woman voiced by a man) appears and tells him not to be a dumb bitch, so he goes back to Mary and makes amends. Doesn’t apologize, though. Typical man.

Mary and Joseph get married. The costume department were told to dress Mary like a Hebrew bride but the connection was bad, and they heard “hippie bride” instead. Which is exactly what they did.

As you can see, both the bride and the groom are wearing white (so that’s where Queen Victoria got the idea?) and Joseph’s hair is having just the worst day. No wonder his body is trying to throw itself out of this movie.

The wedding night is romantic as hell.

Unfortunately, the idillic life of these lovebirds is disrupted when it’s announced that due to the upcoming census every man has to return to the town he was born in. Joseph is from Bethlehem, so he puts his heavily pregnant wife on a donkey and takes her on this prolonged and stressful journey that would literally take a two-hour drive today. And yet the next 15 minutes of the movie look like this:

As they get to Bethlehem, Mary goes into labor, but there are no vacancies, so they end up at a stable. And like... they didn’t have to emphasize Joseph’s uselessnes like that. He literally goes to get some water and misses the birth of Jesus! To be fair, it’s not so much a birth as a weird sort of materialization of Jesus next to Mary. Joseph leaves to get some water and comes back to find a six-month-old baby wrapped in his wife’s clothes. As you do. Still, making him miss it was an interesting choice. Does the director hate stepfathers?

(Spoiler alert: He totally does.)

Anyway, look at that useless bitch:

So this concludes the first part of the movie. Yep, it’s a two-parter. But don’t worry, the second part is about adult Jesus, which means Joseph’s only role is to look older with every new scene and then die. Which, I gotta say, he did pretty well:

So yeah, this was everything you (totally don’t) need to know about Luca’s role in Mary of Nazareth. Which movie should I do next?

#luca marinelli #mary of nazareth #maria di nazaret #sh*tty luca movie recap

[the-fiction-witch]

Secret

REAL LIFE SCANDAL COUPLE: TBS X READER RATING: CUTE

Thomas sat on the sofa holding a cup of tea, he looked stressed, tried, exhausted, holding his mug like it was a about to be violently ripped away from him. "So. Some shit had happened" he says "and... I am doing this, so I can sit down and just. Explain. Because alot of things have changed, most of you know some of them. Some of you might know none of them but never the less, I shall explain them" he says sipping his tea "y/n is not here, well she is but... Upstairs, she knows I'm filming thought" he says "I don't know quite where to start so... Let's try the beginning" he began "back many many years ago when me and y/n first met, I had a crush on her that's not a secret that's something I think most people know. Because she worked in the garage I was working in and I just... I had a crush a little just teenage boy crush on her and we both dated other people and grew closer and friends as the years went on and then we found ourselves single at the same time and I just kinda went for it I asked, she wasn't actually that enthusiastic if I remember correctly I think her actual response was uhh yeah sure why not which I'm not gonna like doesn't fill you with confidence" he laughs "and we just kinda clicked. It was like being freinds but longer, and we'd kiss, and cuddle, and hang outs turned into date nights, and weekend trips turned into romantic getaways, and... We were happy" he smiled "we decided very early on, that I wasn't something we wanted to be public with, we didn't want to be social media, or on camera anything like that partly just to keep that part of our lives privet because there is so much you expose with interviews and with cameras around all the time there is a lot you expose about yourself and your life and I think we just wanted to have something that was ours that was our secret, but the secret is not so secret anyone." He says having some more tea "I think part of it was natural in the sense that we became lazier with it, we stopped censoring ourselves and limiting what we could do because... We're where happy, we where overexcited like you always are when your in a relationship you start to let your guard down alot more and it became atleast I felt like more of covering it up that became important, I agreed with it initially but when we started getting later into the relationship I started to not like it as much because.... I love her, and I don't want to cover that up, I don't want to have scheduled times when I can and can't kiss and cuddle my girlfriend, I wanted to tell friends about us, I wanted to tell Interviews and magazines about her but I couldn't and that started to... Not annoy me but frustrate me" he explained "but she still had a point people where still going to bother us and it was making something public that we wanted to keep privet. So we made backstories and plots to hide it and to explain everything, And... I do believe the video got put up by sally the outtakes of us talking and know everything has been released I guess some things are... Kinda obvious but here we go. I am officially for the first time in here, I am telling the truth, the complete uncensored truth." He says "you wanna help me out here sweetheart?" He asks to off camera "Are you and y/n dating?" Y/n asks off screen "Yes." "What is going on with the house I swear one day the sofa is in one house the next it's in the other" she giggled clearly reading questions "It's bullshit. It's one house, two bedrooms, one bathroom, one kitchen, we just moved it around and used... Angles and stuff the two houses is bullshit, we have loved together for about nine years we first moved In together into the flat where she first brought home hopscotch, the clip of me meeting hopscotch, I moved in about two weeks after that" "Is sally fired?" "Sally is not fired. Stuffs been worked out she's fine she's happy, editing away I assume, now I say that she'll probably do something mean and put like a dick overlay on my head or something" he sighed "You'll have to find out" "I Will. I will" he laughs "Where are hopscotch and jellybean?" "In there room, with there babies still all good just not been filming them" "Why are videos out of order?" "Because some things take longer to edit that's why something are out of order and why some videos get scrapped complete and are never finished, because by the time you cut it all out there is nothing left" "Are you ever gonna tell us how the Barbie cake tasted?" "No. That shit haunts my nightmares I would not wish that knowledge on anyone" "Are you ever gonna get married?" ".... Hum. That's a fun question, can I or do you?" "You do it your the one answering" "Okay, the answer to that is no. We are not gonna get married, because... We already are married, three years and we're very happy" "Semi happy" "Quiet you" he told her "Fun fact, Thomas on our wedding night attempted to get a lighter and set our marriage certificate in fire while swearing at me and saying good luck trying to get rid of me now! You can't return me without the receipt! And then jumped in a swimming pool" "I did that's true. I was fairly drunk" "Fairly?" "I think every single person at our wedding handed me a shot and I downed all of them I was handed which was a bad plan but there we go" "I think Jack and the boys caught on to that you where just shooting anything you where handed because they started giving you like fucking triple vodkas" "They did It was a weird day," "It was, have you stopped smoking?" "Yes. I was given the choice stop smoking on my own or loose a centimeter of my dick everytime she caught me with a cigarette so... I gave up" "You had to" "I did that's true." "Last two" "Oohh last two!" "What happened in the last video?" "In the last video, I had a bit of a meltdown because sally had revealed things, stuff was coming out without our control, the glass had been broken, the secret was out and we were in damage control twenty four hours a day damage control, and I just kinda snapped and obviously... I couldn't take it anymore, I didn't want the secrets, the bullshit, I just wanted to be... Happy. And, I think now that everything is in the open I think we can be" "What happened to y/n in the last video?" "Ooh okay, your okay?" 'yeah go on" "I don't know if this had come out or not but... What happened to y/n in the last video was a very very special moment that we caught on camera." He smiled "she all done?" "Yep" "Come on let me hold her" he whines putting his tea down y/n came from off screen in a little baggy blue dress holding a small baby in a blanket she carefully handed the baby over to him and he smiled widely giving the baby kisses and cuddles "hi, hello there little one, not thirsty anymore? Good girl" he cooed to her "this is Maggie. Maggie Sangster. She's uhhh... Help me" "Three weeks old" "Yes, three weeks old. You went into labor on camera" "I did, I'll talk you focus on holding the baby. I went into labor on camera, early which isn't an uncommon thing to be that early we just kinda had heart attacks which I think is fair. And yeah we went to the hospital and this little one was born." "So. We're going to be posting old stuff that didn't get posted before atleast till this one is a tad more manageable" "I have one more question though for the truth time Thomas?" "Yes?" "So you love y/n? Really?" "With all my heart sweetheart" he smiled giving her a kiss which made Maggie cry "alright, come on angel bed time" he told her kissing her little head and taking her off camera.

#tbs #tbs smut #tbs sex #tbs smutty #TBS Imagine #tbs imagines #thomas #thomas sangster #thomas brodie sangster #thomassangster #thomasbrodiesangster #thomas sangster imagine #thomas brodie sangster imagine #thomas brodie sangster i #thomas brodie sangster smut #thomas brodie sangster s #thomas sangster smut #thomas smut #thomas sangster x reader #thomas sangser imagine

[sepedarodatiga]

The Snow Queen fairytale as a motif used in GoT/ASOIAF

First of all, how many fairytales and myths can GRRM fit into this story, seriously?? I know many have written well thought and well informed meta of various fairytale motives fit with ASOIAF/GoT, and I am just here adding into an already huge pile, but it bothers me, okay. I have to get it out there into the tumblr void. And this is not really a well thought and well informed meta (I’m not a folklore/literature expert, not to mention European folklore/literature), I’m just pointing my fingers into the patterns I saw fit. Also, I can’t count myself as ASOIAF book reader, I just watch the show. What I know about the books, I read it here in tumblr. 

But anyway, you might be surprised as to which character I saw fit as The Snow Queen in GoT

It’s Daenerys Targaryen.

I know I know... whaat? The Mother of Dragons, Bride of Fire as The Snow Queen? Get out of here, right...

But it’s a pun. It’s not The Snow Queen, it’s Jon Snow’s Queen, get it? Remember how Jon repeatedly saying “you’re my queen” to Dany during season 8? Yeah. Oh and Jon is Kay, while Sansa is Gerda. 

What made me realize that Dany is The Snow Queen is when I was reading my son the fairytale. In the version retold by Kate Friend, it describes The Snow Queen as beautiful and terrible. And I was like, huh, just like Dany, especially with the white hair and the all white costume in season 8. 

Daenerys Targaryen, beautiful and terrible.

And then of course the story went on describing how Kay becomes her prisoner and then I was like, well that’s like Jon Snow during season 8 too.... And then in Disney’s adaptation Frozen, Elsa has white hair with purple eyeshadow, while Anna (Gerda) has....red hair....which is like... Sansa Stark. Then I also remember the illustration on my son’s book which is by John Patience, that reminded me of the Iron Throne.

The Snow Queen illustration by John Patience. See how much alike this setting is with the Red Keep? Especially in Dany’s vision in HoTU when snow was falling.

So I went investigating, and shit... I mean obviously the sequencing was moved around, GRRM likes to subvert things, but my God!

Before we get into Jon Snow and his queen, I have to start with the other characters first. And I will be taking excerpt of the story from The Hans Christian Andersen Center website which I assume would be the most original one.

Gerda = Sansa Stark

Here is a description of Gerda’s power:  “No power that I could give could be as great as that which she already has. Don't you see how men and beasts are compelled to serve her, and how far she has come in the wide world since she started out in her naked feet? We mustn't tell her about this power. Strength lies in her heart, because she is such a sweet, innocent child.”

Furthermore, her connection with Kay are through roses (they have a window box full of roses) and a song that goes like this:  "Where roses bloom so sweetly in the vale, There shall you find the Christ Child, without fail." Another variation of the song is: “The rose in the valley has flowers so sweet, and angels come down there the children to greet.” She saved Kay with her prayers, hugs, kisses, tears and her song and their reunion literally ended winter and brings spring. If that’s not Sansa Stark (and the jonsa reunion), then I don’t know what is.

Gerda made a journey to the North to find Kay and bring him back together with her to their home. Sansa did not meant to make a journey North to find Jon and bring him back home, but this is what happened anyway. The story even stressed on the fact that when they came back to their homes, they were no longer children but grown ups. On her quest Gerda offered her red shoes to the river to get information about Kay’s whereabouts but the red shoes were given back to her the first time. But she did it once again and the river set her on the path to find Kay. I’m not really sure but for Sansa it could be her betrothal to Joffrey that was then canceled but then she got married to Tyrion Lannister. Her red shoes is her name and her claim to the North.

Gerda then met an old woman who wanted to keep her and made her forget about Kay by keeping all the roses underground. The old woman’s place was beautiful. Here is an excerpt:  “Then Gerda was led into the flower garden. How fragrant and lovely it was! Every known flower of every season was there in full bloom. No picture book was ever so pretty and gay. Gerda jumped for joy, and played in the garden until the sun went down behind the tall cherry trees. Then she was tucked into a beautiful bed, under a red silk coverlet quilted with blue violets. There she slept, and there she dreamed as gloriously as any queen on her wedding day.” But then she saw a rose on the old woman’s hat and finally remembers her purpose of finding Kay. I would say that the old woman is Cersei Lannister who tried to make Sansa forget about her home and her innocence. Sansa was also saved from her clutch by roses (The Tyrells).

Then Gerda with information from a crow, met a Princess and Prince. She thought that the Prince might be Kay, but it turns out he was not. This might be Sansa’s vale arc and the Prince is either Petyr Baelish or Harry Hardyng. The Prince and Princess also gave provisions for Gerda’s journey to the North, so this may be that the KoTV helps Sansa getting Winterfell back. The crow, has a ladylove, another crow and they finally get married and live in the Princess’s castle though unfortunately the crow then died. The crow was a wild forest crow while his ladylove is a tame crow. These two crows could be genderbent into Sam Tarly and Gilly. Remember that Sam is mock as Jon’s ladylove by Alliser Thorne?

Next Gerda met a robber girl who sleeps with a knife and have plenty of pigeons. Yep, of course that is very much like Arya Stark (who sometimes is being referred to as “a girl”)

The pigeons told Gerda about Kay and The Snow Queen. The robber girl finally gave Gerda her reindeer called Bae for her journey to the North. The girl likes to tickle the reindeer’s neck with her knife. At the end of the story it is told that the robber girl then decided to leave her place and find adventure in the world. Very much like Arya’s ending.

Now about that reindeer Bae who helped Gerda to reach to Kay in The Snow Queen’s palace in the far North. In ASOIAF/GoT, we can connect Bae to Baelish. Make sense. Petyr Baelish helps Sansa get to North and Arya’s knife did end up in his neck. But also we can connect it to two foreshadowing of Sansa bearing Jon’s child. The first is more well-known: Bael the Bard. The second one I think is more hidden and I made a post about it quite long ago: Baelor. Is this far fetched? Maybe, but I’ll take it.

Kay = Jon (+ The Night King)

Kay and Gerda are neighbours and they share a garden (particularly a flower box full of roses). Their relationship, in the words of Hans Christian Andersen himself are: “These children were not brother and sister, but they loved each other just as much as if they had been.” So they are NOT brother and sister but love each other as such. While Jon and Sansa are also NOT brother and sister but was raised as such.

Then Kay got splinters of magic mirror stuck to his eyes and his heart. The mirror “made everything great and good that was reflected in it appear small and ugly, but which magnified all evil things until each blemish loomed large”. It made Kay hated all the roses, they look ugly now to his eyes and also made Kay loved the snow and the cold. Jon Snow at the beginning of the story was a cynical little boy because he was raised as a bastard. He wanted to leave Winterfell and sneered at the idea of having a family of his own because he felt that he can’t have them. So he went to the coldest place there is.

In the story, Kay plays with his sled, and then The Snow Queen came with her sled and Kay hooked his sled to hers. The Snow Queen first, covers Kay in a bearskin rug and gave Kay kisses. The first kiss “was colder than ice. He felt it right down to his heart, half of which was already an icy lump. He felt as if he were dying, but only for a moment. Then he felt quite comfortable, and no longer noticed the cold”. The second kiss makes Kay forgets about Gerda and their homes. The third kiss, The Snow Queen does not give him because it would be the kiss of death.

I argue that GRRM subvert this story. I think Jon Snow was already saved by Sansa before he met Dany. The splinters in his eyes and heart was already gone when he faced The Snow Queen. The reunion happened before he met Dany. The first two kisses also already happened: Jon Snow had died and came alive again, and he also forced to forget about his home and family while he was at the Night’s Watch. The bearskin rug which The Snow Queen used to cover Kay can allude to Jeor Mormont and/or Longclaw. 

Then Jon Snow met his queen finally, but instead of a hooking sleds.... it’s dragons. Jon Snow’s sled was his dragon Rhaegal which are hooked to Dany’s sled Drogon. But his eyes wasn’t blinded by the splinter and his heart were already warm. He knowingly and willingly follow the dragon to save his family.

And the third kiss of death that wasn’t given by The Snow Queen? Jon Snow will give it to his queen instead.

Now let’s go back a little bit. Kay was also given a puzzle from ice by The Snow Queen, and if he can solve it then he is free. He was supposed to spell the word “eternity” but he couldn’t figure it out with the shard in his eyes and heart. In GoT we know exactly who has got an shard in his heart.

The Night King. And so that is why he plays with puzzle in ice. He is struggling to form the one symbol that would set him free.

Bonuses

Other than those patterns, there are several interesting tidbits from the story that fits with ASOIAF. There is this one blog said that The Snow Queen story was inspired by another story called “East of the Sun and West of the Moon” which if you read it, it is essentially “The Bear and the Maiden Fair” (the bear is a white bear, by the way)

More bonuses here. When Gerda finally remembers to find Kay during her time in the old woman’s home because of the rose, different flowers gave her different stories even though none tells her about Kay.

This is the story from tiger lily:

"Do you hear the drum? Boom, boom! It was only two notes, always boom, boom! Hear the women wail. Hear the priests chant. The Hindoo woman in her long red robe stands on the funeral pyre. The flames rise around her and her dead husband, but the Hindoo woman is thinking of that living man in the crowd around them. She is thinking of him whose eyes are burning hotter than the flames-of him whose fiery glances have pierced her heart more deeply than these flames that soon will burn her body to ashes. Can the flame of the heart die in the flame of the funeral pyre?"

So GRRM didn’t take the sati ritual for Dany’s rites of passage as mother of dragons from just anywhere, but it is from this story.

Also, hear this story from hyacinth

"There were three sisters, quite transparent and very fair. One wore a red dress, the second wore a blue one, and the third went all in white. Hand in hand they danced in the clear moonlight, beside a calm lake. They were not elfin folk. They were human beings. The air was sweet, and the sisters disappeared into the forest. The fragrance of the air grew sweeter. Three coffins, in which lie the three sisters, glide out of the forest and across the lake. The fireflies hover about them like little flickering lights. Are the dancing sisters sleeping or are they dead? The fragrance of the flowers says they are dead, and the evening bell tolls for their funeral."

Of course this immediately bring to memory the quote of Jon Snow with Val: “The light of the half-moon turned Val’s honey-blond hair a pale silver and left her cheeks as white as snow. She took a deep breath. “The air tastes sweet.”” Well then, according to Hans Christian Andersen, that means death. There are three sisters here which could allude to the three queens at the almost end of GoT: Cersei Lannister (red), Sansa Stark (blue) and Daenerys Targaryen (white).

So those are my stab at it. I would be interested to hear if anyone’s take on it.

#jonsa #anti jonerys #anti daenerys targaryen #sansa stark #jon snow #the snow queen

[maliby]

Hard | ty (m)

↬ Pairing: sub idol!Taeyong x fem dom idol!Reader | idol!Jaehyun x idol!Reader (if you squint) ↬ Story Genre: smut, pwp, tiny bit of angst, idol!au ↬ Warnings: explicit language, explicit sex scene, improv kinky shit (when the urges call and you ain’t home, you gotta work with what you got lmao) ↬ Word count: 4K ↬ Summary: Jealousy led you to spy on your boyfriend Taeyong at Music Bank. Jealousy also led you to fuck the shit out of him in NCT’s dressing room so everyone could hear who he belonged to.

“So, Jaehyun-ah, who’s your ideal type?” 

NCT 127 was in the midst of their ‘Kick it’ comeback, which meant endless promotions. The show currently airing on the TV in your dorm’s living room was a new one called ‘Glossy Gossip’. You didn’t particularly like this show or the nosy host, but it was really popular amongst fangirls and thus NCT 127 was on it. This time though, only Jaehyun and your boyfriend Taeyong had been invited.

“Mmmh, I’d say Y/N from Pixies.” 

Jaehyun’s crush on you was no news for you, in fact, even everyone in NCT 127 knew of it. The surprising thing was that he was admitting it on national television right in front of your boyfriend. You would be lying though if you said you didn’t enjoy watching Taeyong trying to hide his jealousy by clenching his jaw.

Before you met your boyfriend, you had made out with Jaehyun at Seulgi’s birthday party. For you, it was just a fling, which was why you convinced Jaehyun not to tell Taeyong. Ruining their team dynamic because of an old fling just wasn’t worth it. 

The whole situation changed when Jaehyun decided to out the both of you on a game of truth or dare. He asked you between him and Taeyong who was the better kisser and after assuring your boyfriend that it was a meaningless fling from before the two of you had met, you answered Taeyong. 

“I love it! Keeping it in the SM family! She is very beautiful, you two would make a dashing couple!” The MC said, making you immediately cringe at her words.

“What about you Taeyong-ah, who’s your ideal type?” 

You thought he was going to say your name, after all, you would definitely say his, but your world dropped as soon as another woman’s name fell off of his lips.

“Lisa,” he said nonchalantly, as he plunged a metaphorical dagger into your heart.

“Ohhh, last time she was here she said you were exactly her type! Can I be invited to your wedding?”

You picked up the remote and immediately turned off the TV, not being willing to hear his response.

How could he say that without an inch of hesitation? How could he say fucking Lisa’s name and not yours? Was he that petty because Jaehyun had said your name? Or were you just that insignificant to him?

That day you ignored all of Taeyong’s messages and calls. You even skipped practice and stayed home so you wouldn’t run the risk of bumping into him at SM. You thought that that would be enough to make him understand that you didn’t want to talk to him but as soon as you heard him knocking at your door you realized how stupid you were to underestimate his persistence.

“Y/N let me in, I know you’re in there.”

“You must be mistaken, Blackpink’s dorm is 100 meters from here,” you yelled back at him in a petty tone.

He stopped knocking, a sigh being the only thing you could hear through the door. “Y/N I’m sorry, I was being petty about the whole Jaehyun situation and him saying your name…”

You opened the door and saw him standing there with these sad puppy eyes that tugged at your heartstrings, but you were still fucking hurt.

“You really fucking hurt me, Yong.”

“Fuck, I know,” he ran in to hug you but you were aching so much that you couldn’t even hug him back. “I regretted it the moment I said it, that’s why I said that thing after.”

“What thing?” You broke off the hug, curiosity getting the best of you.

“You didn’t watch it?”

“I turned off the TV. As you can imagine, I wasn’t exactly eager to watch you talk about your future wedding with Lisa.”

He got closer to you and placed his hand on your cheek wanting to comfort you, “I said: ‘I’m sorry, I meant pizza’.”

There was a brief moment of silence before you broke out laughing.

“You really told her your ideal type was pizza?” It hurt that he said her name, but the fact that he regretted it right away and tried to mend it made you feel a lot better.

“Yes, you should have seen her face.” 

The smile on his face was one of relief, a smile so sweet you couldn’t help to stare for, after all, you loved him with all your heart.

Taeyong gave you a soft kiss after a while of just staring, sighing against your lips. “I really am sorry baby, I wish I hadn’t caused you pain like that.”

“It’s fine now,” you leaned into the hand that was caressing your cheek so you could feel his warm touch.

“Will you forgive me?”

“I will.”

You promised Taeyong you would forgive him, but when it came to forgetting it was a whole different story. Especially when you learned that Blackpink was having a comeback and, therefore, going to the same music show programs as NCT 127.

You trusted Taeyong, you did, but the truth of the matter was that Lisa had confessed your boyfriend to be her ideal type, and now with his little slip up on national television you were sure she could get the wrong fucking idea and mess with what was yours. Taking all that into consideration, you decided that you needed to go to Music Bank to spy on them.

You knew your members would never cooperate with your dumb idea, especially your strict leader, so, taking advantage of the fact that your period was due tomorrow you made up some excuse about cramps so you could ‘stay home and rest. It was all a bunch of crap, of course, but something inside of you was telling you that you needed to be there, so you pulled up a favour with your manager and voilà, you were in.

You pulled up your face mask, tugged down your Adidas hat (to try and cover up your identity as much as possible), and went on exploring. 

In reality, there weren’t that many places Taeyong could be in but, knowing your boyfriend’s appetite, you’re almost sure he’d be at the cafeteria. So, with that in mind, you turned right and followed the line of hungry idols to the cafeteria. 

So far, none of the idols you walked by had recognized you, but in all fairness, none of them were your friends. The true test came when you saw Yuta speaking with Yuto from Pentagon near the entrance of the cafeteria. Yuta saw you practically every day, thus it would be highly likely that he would recognize you. So, you turned your head in the opposite direction, sped up your pace, and prayed to the Lord he wouldn’t recognize you. 

What you didn’t expect was, after successfully passing by the two Japanese friends without being recognized and preparing to open the cafeteria doors, going face-first to an exiting Johnny and falling backwards, dropping your hat on the floor in the process.

“Oh, I’m so sor-” he reached for your hand but stopped in surprise as he recognized you, leaving you to stand up on your own. “Y/N? What are you doing here?”

“Y/N?” You heard Yuta also ask behind you.

“Fuck.” You whispered to yourself as you tried to think of an excuse that wouldn’t make you look like a crazy person. “I- Oh! I’m here because Taeyong asked me to bring him something that he forgot,” you smiled, feeling proud of your lie.

“Oh, ok,” he answered, “not like him to forget things though.” 

“Yeah, he must be stressed with this whole comeback thing, you know how he is. Is he in the cafeteria?”

“Yeah, he’s grabbing a snack with-”

“No!” You heard Yuta interrupt him, immediately ditching his friend and coming into your conversation with Johnny. “He left 5 minutes ago, don’t you remember Johnny?”

“Oh, yes, right. I’m so worried about the stage performance that I totally forgot.”

Johnny was a terrible liar, one of the reasons why you loved playing poker with him, and one of the reasons why your heart was beating so fast right now. You knew he was lying. You knew they were lying, and if they were lying, that meant that Taeyong was definitely in the cafeteria and probably doing something that you wouldn’t like.

“Let me through,” you passed through Johnny and Yuta and walked right in the cafeteria, immediately spotting Taeyong and Lisa giggling while they filled their stomachs with sandwiches. You should feel better at the fact that they were in the company of Jennie, Mark and Jaehyun and not alone but in reality, you didn’t.

Taeyong had his back to you so he could never have predicted the way in which you were about to storm into their conversation. You marched towards their table, pulled out the empty chair right next to your boyfriend and stared right at Lisa.

“Is this seat taken? Thanks” you sat even before she could answer.

“Oh Y/N!” she interjected as you took off your mask, “I didn’t know you were promoting,” she innocently smiled at you, not having a clue of the shit storm that was about to happen.

In truth, not even the idols knew of your relationship with Taeyong, only your group, NCT and a few SM people but that’s it. So, you couldn’t really blame Lisa for taking advantage of one of the hottest fucking guys on this planet saying on television that he’d be down to fuck her. Of course not, that would be irrational of you, but see, irrational was all you could manage to be right now.

“Can I join in?” You asked Taeyong, his eyes in shock as he looked at you, “it sounds like you were having a very lovely conversation.”

“Baby, it’s nothing I swear,” he immediately said.

“Oh, it’s not?”

“Ok, we need to get back to the dressing room. Let’s go, Jennie,” Lisa got up and left with her bandmate, fully understanding what was happening.

“Fuck, Taeyong, why are you doing this to me?” Tears were pricking at your eyes and you had the full notion that everybody was staring at you right now but you didn’t fucking care.

“Y/N, I wasn’t doing anything we were just talking about our comebacks I swear. Mark and Jaehyun were here the whole time they can tell you,” he desperately looked at his friends.

“Y/N it’s true, everywhere else was full so I asked them if they wanted to sit with us, it’s my fault,” Mark said. You had always loved Mark, you treated him like a baby brother, and you trusted him completely but, even he couldn’t make you feel better about this whole thing.

“Baby, I love you, I only want to be with you, trust me when I tell you this,” Taeyong grabbed your hand to calm you down, but you were so sick of this Lisa situation that you could only think of one thing. You grabbed Taeyong’s hand, pulled him up, and dragged him to his dressing room.

He tried to talk to you on your way there, to calm you down, but you completely ignored him. Talking wasn’t what you needed right now. You needed to make him yours and make you scream your name and no one else’s. 

When you reached the dressing room you noticed the unnie that did their makeup sanitizing all the products to use on the members. Luckily, she also did your makeup from time to time and was your friend, so you didn’t feel awkward when you asked her if you could talk to Taeyong alone. She kindly conceded to your request and you followed her to the door, making sure to lock it after she left.

“Y/N?” He slowly got near you, testing the waters. When he moved to touch your cheek you blocked it. You placed your hands on his shoulders and pushed until he sat on the nearest makeup chair.

“First, you say another woman’s name on national television, and then, you decide to make friends with her, behind my back. Do you want to fuck her? I know her dressing room is right next to this one, manager unnie told me. I can go in there and fetch her for you to fuck her, how’s that?”

“No! I only want you, you’re the only one for me, I swear!”

“Then don’t you fucking forget that,” you grabbed him by his sharp jaw and made him look right into your eyes before you straddled him and violently kissed him, like a wild animal marking its territory.

Taeyong’s hands promptly grabbed your ass but you swatted them out. “Do you want me? Do you want it? First, you have to be a good little boy, got it?”

This wasn’t the first time you dominated him. It all started with an innocent question: ‘Baby, do you have any kinks?’. From looking at Taeyong’s stage persona alone one would be miles away from imagining that he liked to be a sub from time to time. Everything about him screamed ‘raw dominating sex’, so to say you were a little surprised when he asked you to dominate him in bed was an understatement but the truth was, you liked it far more than you could ever have imagined. So, since then, dom Y/N was a common occurrence in bed, and she definitely was about to make an appearance at one of Music Bank’s dressing rooms.

“Yes,” you pressed harder on his cock to make him realize he was missing a little something. “Yes, ma’am. I’ll be your good little boy”

“That’s my baby boy,” your hand slid down his chest and abs which were exposed thanks to the revealing outfit he was wearing for the ‘Kick it’ promotions.

“I need you to do something for me baby,” you got up from on top of him, already missing the way his hardening cock was pressing against your centre, and placed your foot on top of his dick, applying a little bit of pressure. “Untie my sneakers and take out the shoelaces.”

While he worked on your shoes you made sure to massage his dick, you needed him to be nice and hard for what you had in store for him. Once he was finished you picked up one of the shoelaces and placed the other on the vanity right next to you. You then moved to his back and tied his hands behind the chair.

“Taeyong, Taeyong...why are you so misbehaved? Why do you have to make me look like a crazy bitch in front of everyone?”

“I-I don’t know ma’am.” You straddled him once again, the pressure on his cock making him choke upon his words.

“You don’t know?” You reached for the other shoelace and slowly ran it over his body, making his nipples perk up. “I think your problem is that you’re way too damn handsome.”

While your left hand moved between you two to cup his hard cock your right one grabbed his bleached hair to expose his neck to your starving mouth. “You drive me fucking crazy Yong.”

“Fuck,” he moaned.

Your hand slipped through his pants and squeezed his cock, wanting to feel him raw and hard. “Is this all for me baby?”

“Yes, just you. I can get hard just by looking at you-” and then your lips were on his, kissing him like nothing else mattered, like you two were the only ones in the world.

The handjob you were giving him and the making out session were getting you so turned on that you started to ride his thigh. 

Wanting to make you feel even better, Taeyong flexed his muscles and that extra bit of hardness made you pick up your pace, your kiss now becoming a mix of pants and lip bites. You let go of his cock and grabbed the back of the chair to help you ride his thigh better and in no time you were coming undone on top of him. 

“Shit,” you said once you were able to catch your breath. 

You looked into his eyes and noticed he was frustrated because you let go of his dick. “Are you frustrated baby boy?”

“Yes,” he whined.

“Then I’m sorry to tell you, but it’s only gonna get worse,” you took off your shirt and bra and started massaging your breasts right in front of his face, just out of his reach. “You want to touch them, baby?”

“I’d love to ma’am,” he proclaimed, his eyes completely fixated on your moves.

“Beg for them.”

“Can I please suck on your tits, they’re so beautiful.”

You raised yourself a bit so your boobs would be at the same level as his mouth and moved forward so he could kiss them. Instantly his skilled mouth picked up one of your nipples with his teeth and tugged on it, making you moan. The combination of him lapping his tongue around your nipple and then sucking on it was starting to rile you up all over again but, as much as you’d like to make him suck on your tits all day you couldn’t waste much time because the rest of the group needed the room to go on stage. So, after letting him play with your other nipple a bit more you got out from on top of him once again, a string of spit connecting your nipple with his mouth, and pulled his pants down, exposing his hard cock to the air.

“Look at that handsome cock, all hard for me.”

“C-can you please touch it ma’am?” his eyes were glazed, lost in lust.

“Since you asked so nicely baby…”

You got on your knees in front of him, grabbed his cock and proceeded to lick him all over, the moans escaping his sweet lips acting as a soundtrack to your dirty acts. You kissed and sucked, just like you were savouring a delicious lollipop. 

In truth, you just wanted to make his dick nice and wet for what you had planned next for him, but you loved sucking his cock so much that you totally got lost in it. You knew he was getting close to releasing because his moans were getting more aggressive, so you sped up and once he was about to cum you stopped, leaving him a frustrating mess yet again. He tried to get his dick close to your mouth but it was no use.

“Are you getting irritated, baby?” You teased while you dragged the hard tip of your shoelace on his chest again.

“Fuck, yes.”

“See, this is how you made me feel.” You gave a teasing little suck on the tip of his dick before you took the shoelace and tied it tight at the base of his cock, behind his balls, to act as an impromptu cock ring. “Irritated.”

Taeyong loved overstimulation, and you loved teasing the shit out of him. You also loved the way a cock ring would make his cock extra swollen for you and how it delayed his orgasm, a fact that you were definitely gonna use to punish him.

“Get up baby,” you pulled him up so he wouldn’t fall and made him lean on the vanity table full of makeup. You then turned around and started rubbing your ass on his boner rolling down your leggings and exposing your lacy panties to him.

“How are you so fucking hot?” he hissed.

“Wanna feel how wet I am for you baby?” You started rolling down your panties even before he hummed in response. You grabbed his dick from behind you and started rubbing his tip through your drenched folds.

“Fuck, you’re so wet.”

Suddenly someone knocked on the door, making your heart almost stop.

“Y/N leave our leader alone, we need to get ready for the stage!” Johnny’s voice said from the other side of the door.

“Just 5 more minutes!” You answered.

“Fine, make it quick!”

You turned around and searched the vanity for the scissors the makeup artist used to cut the fake eyelashes, rapidly finding them in her little kit. 

“Are you ready to fuck me, baby?” Taeyong had no idea what else you had in store for him, but he sure was about to find out.

“Fuck yes, free my hands please ma’am.”

“I will, but first, call for Lisa.” You were aware that with the scissors in your hand right now you probably looked like a psycho bitch that could cut out his wiener if he didn’t comply, but oh well.

“What? Why?”

“I know she can hear us if we’re loud enough, so you’re gonna call for her and then you’re gonna fuck me like you never have before, are we clear?” You grabbed his dick and spread the bead of precum that was leaking from his tip with your thumb.

“Fuck. LISA!” His eyes were closed in pure bliss as you teased him. “CAN YOU HEAR ME?”

“Taeyong? Yeah, is everything alright?” Her concerned voice sounded from the other side of the wall.

“You’re such a good boy, and good boys deserve treats,” you cut the shoelace that was restraining his hands and in a blink of an eye, he was taking control and bending you over the vanity to fuck you raw.

He didn’t ease into you, he didn’t need to, you were so fucking wet that he slid right into you, your name immediately slipping through his tongue.

“Fuck Taeyong, you’re fucking me so good.” You were sure to moan loud enough so everyone in the area knew what was happening.

“Fuck you feel so tight.”

He was pounding into you like a fucking crazed animal, like he had been starving in a cage and someone came, left a nice juicy steak in front of it and opened the door. In a matter of seconds, you were cumming undone on his cock, your pussy tightening around him even more.

“Oh Taeyong, fuck,” you moaned as he slowed down his pace.

“M-ma’am, I can’t take it anymore, I need to cum. Can you please remove this?” Suddenly he was back to sub Taeyong like he hadn’t just bent you over a table and fucked the shit out of you. That was why you loved him so much.

You slipped out of him, gave him a gentle kiss and led him back to the chair. “I will, but only on conditions: I want the whole floor to hear you scream my name…”

“And the other?”

“I want you to cum inside me.”

He smirked, seemingly happy to comply with your demands. “As you wish.”

You carefully snipped your other shoelace, relief apparent on his features, got on top of him and eased down on his cock all the way to the bottom. Wasting no time, you grabbed onto his shoulders and started fucking him.

“Fuck Y/N you feel so good.”

His praises were like fuel for you, serving to make you go faster and harder. You wanted to make him scream your name. You wanted Lisa to hear how good you made him feel. You, and no one else.

Getting irked by the thought of her, you grabbed onto his jaw to make him look you straight in the eyes. “Tell me who does your cock belong to?”

“Fuck, you Y/N, only you.”

“Then say it. Louder.”

“My cock only belongs to you Y/N, no one else.”

You didn’t need to hear anything else, his confession was enough to make you cum for the third time today. With the combination of your pussy trying to milk him and his edged out dick, Taeyong came inside of you, his seed filling you up. 

You were so fucking spent that you immediately fell down onto his chest panting. 

“Well, next time I’m the one who’s gonna piss Y/N off.” 

For a brief moment, as you snuggled in with your boyfriend, you almost forgot about the world outside, but Johnny’s stupid joke made the both of you break out in laughter.

“Backoff Seo, she’s mine and I’m hers.”

© maliby, 2020. Do not copy or repost without permission.

a/n: hey guys! feels so good to be back to writing filthy smut! this is my first time writing for NCT so fellow NCTzens please accept me <3 Hope you guys like it!

#taeyong smut #nct 127 smut #taeyong #nct 127 #nct #nct smut #jaehyun #johnny #yuta #mark lee #taeyong angst #nct scenarios #taeyong scenarios #nct 127 scenarios #nct fic #taeyong fic #nct 127 fic #lee taeyong #taeyong x reader #nct 127 fanfiction #taeyong fanfiction #nct fanfiction

[stxvercgersslut]

omg could you do a Chris Evans x Toddler!Reader where he’s her stepdad and readers dad is always ‘to busy’ to see her and she’s really disappointed so readers mom & Chris comfort her🥺

A/n: YESSS!!!! Omg I love this I love this I love this!!!! It’s actually the cutest ask I’ve gotten 😭❤️ I just can’t not write this! I also kinda changed it a little so that it’s just Chris comforting her sooooo I hope you like it.

Warnings: Language, dissapointmemt, a whole lot of fluff.

The one that cares

Chris hadn’t expected to fall in love as quickly as he had fell in love with Delilah. She was the love of his life from the moment that he had met her on the set of one of his latest movies. She’d only been there to visit her brother on set, yet his eyes had instantly fell on hers as soon as she walked into the room. He couldn’t just let her leave, so of course that they he had went straight up to her, talked to her, found out her name and inevitably asked her out. It was a quick cycle done in around 10 minutes of meeting her, but Chris couldnt have been happier. This type of love was real. Passionate and just over all the one thing that he had been searching for his entire life. Delilah was it for him the second he’d met her.

Around 2 months into dating Chris had been introduced to you, this small 2 year old little girl with a hug smile on your face the second you’d met him. It was like an instant connection from the beginning. Of course it had taken you a few weeks to get used to him being around. But after a while you finally began to enjoy Chris’s company. Especially since he was round at the house almost every single day to visit your mother.

After around a year later Chris proposed to your mother and on your 4th birthday, the they got married. It was more of a celebration for you then it was for them. Especially since It was practically your birthday present. You’d been so excited. Chris could remeber how happy you had been that day, standing right next to your mother and giggling happily during the actual wedding. He’d even picked you up and held you in his arms during your mother’s vows. Wanting to keep you as involved with this wedding as physically possible. It was clear from the beginning that Chris loved you as if you were his own. Which was what drew Delilah to him.

Finally a father figure. Not that you didn’t have a dad, but Chris was around a whole lot more then your asshole of a dad was. And that in itself just wasn’t fair.

Josh, your biological father, had been pretty much out of the picture since you were 2. Only occasionally being able to see you since he always claimed that he was ‘busy’ when he was usually out at some bar making out with any random women that would throw themselves that him. It was clear from the start that Josh didn’t give the tiniest shit about you, or even the fact that you were his child.

Even when he actually bothered to show up, usually because either Chris or Delilah had forced him to actually pay attention to you and reminding him that you were just a kid, he wasn’t even there. Not really. He just sat there, didn’t even play with you, just sat their and watched as you played on your own with you teddy’s. And even then he didn’t stay too long. Clearly not liking the fact that Delilah had found happiness in an A-list celebrity.

Not only did Josh’s lack of being around for you upset you but it also Angered Chris as well as Delilah. However Chris was even more furious with Josh then the both of you combined. He hated how upset you got, how heartbroken you were when Josh just sat there or didn’t even bother to show up. But what hurt him the most was watching you sob into either his chest or your mothers chest right after being reluctantly informed that once again Josh wasn’t coming. To see your excited little face switch so quickly into one of pain and heartbreak was enough to completely piss Chris off to the point where he wanted to actually beat the shit out of Josh.

Today, for example, was once again one of the days that Chris always dreaded. Today had been the day that Josh was finally supposed to come over and spend some time with you, after 3 whole months of not seeing you he was finally coming over. Yet 5 minutes before he was actually supposed to be there he called. Of course he did.

Chris groaned as he looked towards you before back to his phone “sorry sweetheart, I’ll be back in a second” he announced before finally leaving the room after kissing your head gently. Despite all the disappointment you were still excited to see Josh. Of course you were. Diliah wasn’t there today, in fact she was working today so it was just him. Thankfully Chris got the day off so that he could be there for you when the inevitable happened.

“Hello?” He began, not even giving him a chance to speak “Josh where the fuck are you? You’re supposed to be here in 5 fucking minutes” Chris spoke not giving a shit that he was being rude, Josh didn’t deserve the nice side to Chris. Not at all.

“Yeah.....about that....My work called me a few minutes ago and said that I need to go in. Something about needing extra staff today” yet another excuse! This man was truely an asshole.

“BULLSHIT!” Chris spat, venom seeping from his words as he did. Now he was pissed. “It’s not bullshit man! I have work!” Josh lied. Usually if this happened then Delilah would be there to take the phone away from him before he said something that would ruin the entire ‘agreement’ but today she wasn’t there to stop him, so he was free to say whatever he wanted. Within reason of course.

“Listen you asshole!” He began, suddenly becoming insanely aware of the fact that he was being too loud. Almost startling you. “We both know that you don’t have to work today!” Now he was a little quieter “and we both know you’re just going to go to a bar or a strip club! You’re an asshole and all you want is to fuck with y/n’s mind! She’s an innocent child who fucking loved you no matter what yet you don’t even care about her?!? What kind of parent are you? Dads should be there for their kids but you don’t even care about her!” This wasn’t Chris talking, this was the anger that had finally been allowed out.

“What?!? First of all You have no right to say any of that! And second of all yes I do care about her! I’m just busy!” He defended, still doing a shitty job at it.

“No you don’t! You don’t give a shit!” Chris yelled angrily, not caring for any more of his bullshit, so he hung up. Now completely stressed about the fact that he had to go and break your heart again. Oh this was going to hurt a whole lot more then usual.

After a good 2 minutes of mentally preparing himself for the heartache, Chris finally walked back to the front room where you were still happily colouring in a drawing that you had made for Josh. Little did you know Josh never took those drawings, Chris was always the one to take them and hide them in his room since your biological father always ‘forgot’ the pictures. Chris just wanted to spare your feelings that’s all. Didn’t want to add anymore heartache into the mix of disappointment.

Quickly Chris sat down on the couch opposite you. Watching you for a few moments before finally speaking“Hey babygirl, can you come sit with me for a minute please?” He asked carefully, to which you instantly stood up and wandered over to him with a cute little wiggle to your step since you were excited. Soon climbing up onto the couch and getting onto his lap like usual which he never actually seemed to mind since it meant that you felt comfortable around him. “What’s wrong Daddy?” You asked, already seeing the lines of fear registering in his features as he began to think. Every single day he thanked the gods above that you’d accepted him into the family.

“Your real dads not coming today” rip the bandage of as quick as physically possible. If he did that then he’d have more time to comfort you if needed. God this was going to be so hard “.....I know you really wanted to see him today but he got really busy.....baby I’m so sorry that he did this to you and it’s so not fair at all” he stated. Watching as your bright e/c gorgous eyes dissapeared and were once again replaced with disappointment. On what world was any of this not heartbreaking to see? Exactly it was devastating. Especially when he loved you so much.

“My dads......not coming?” You asked, pain already beginning to seap into your voice.

“No baby.....I’m so sorry...” he spoke, his voice already breaking and tears already forming in his eyes. How could someone be so cruel to someone so kindhearted?

“But he.....he said he would......” you stutter. That in itself was enough to cause tears to spill from Chris’s eyes. Never had he ever thought that you’d get this heartbroken over being disappointed. After so many disappointments he would have thought that you would have gotten used it already.

“I know I know....but he’s done this before sweetheart.....he’s known for it.”

It unfortunately didn’t take long for you to break down into floods of tears, already beginning to break Chris’s heart even more then he ever thought that it could. You were worse then heartbroken, in fact you were devastated.

He couldn’t take it anymore, seeing you so broken was hurting him. So before you knew it he was picking you up and literally placing you on his hip so you wer closer to him. No way was he letting you just wallow in self pity. Not when your birthday was in 3 days. You were so close to being 5! How could he just leave you to cry on your birthday weekend. Exactly he couldn’t. “Okay baby It’s so close to your birthday and I’m not letting you be sad! So what do you wanna do? It’s your weekend starting now, so what do you wanna do?” He asked, hopeful that giving you the option of what to do would perk you up a little. Yet you just continued to cry into his shoulder, extremely angry, upset and scared with everything that had gone wrong today.

“It’s okay....it’s okay sweetheart just cry..let it all out.” He soothed, rubbing your back reassuringly as he did “Daddy’s here. I’m never gonna leave you sweetheart. I promise you I’m not going anywhere unless I have to. But I’ll always come back okay? I will always come back”

But thankfully, after 20 minutes of just rocking you in his arms and softly humming along to the words of your favourite Disney songs (being a big fan of Disney had its perks of course) you finally stopped crying. Now completely registering what Chris has asked you a few moments ago. “C.....can we go....to Disney land?” You asked quietly, afraid that you’d get shot down.

This was a big ask from you, one that Chris should have Beene expecting! Especially since you’d wanted to go to Disney land for so long yet you’d always been knocked back. Although, today was different. Today Chris has given you free rain on whatever you wanted to do today. So how could he disappoint and tell you no? “Hmmmm okay sweetheart Disney land it is! Just me and you? Or do you want me to ask mommy if she wants to come too?” He questioned, literally just letting you make all the decisions today since he’d said it was your day. If this was how he would get you to calm down completely then so be it. To avoid having any fans spotting him he’d have to make a few phone calls, maybe see if he could use a private jet in order to make sure you weren’t see. Especially since your were his step-daughter and thankfully not one knew about you just yet. He’d been able to keep you out of the public eye.

“Mommy’s working, just you and me” you spoke, for a four year old you were learning quickly which made him quite happy to know you were learning. “Alright sweetheart then lets go.” He spoke.

And that day he stayed true to his word.

Tag list: @jtargaryen18 @et-lesailes @chuckbass-love @cevans-fics

#this is so wholesome!!! I can’t not 🥺😭 #chris evans #chris evans cute #chris evans hot #daddy! chris evans #chris evans and dodger #his laugh though 🥺 #chris evans sexy #chris evans x you #chris evans x reader #chris evans characters #Step dad! Chris x Toddler! reader

[sly-merlin]

Killing Me - 6 | n.y

pairing : law student!reader + yuta

genre :    angst , mafia au/ arranged marriage au , smut

warnings of this chapter : use of few curse words. weapons

summary : “life’s never fair y/n. realise it as soon as you can . it is the only secret for living a regretless life.”                                  

    or              

                         “  curiousity got the cat hitched”

taglist :: (not tagging the old ones because they have read it already bt if u want , lemme know! )  @yiyi4657​ @sorrywonwoo​ @sillywinnergladiator​ @suhweo​ @exfolitae​ @minejungwoo​

K.M masterlist

k.m 5    k.m 7

NOTE : K.M 5 WAS POSTED BUT IT GOT REMOVED FROM TAGS SO YOU CAN NAVIGATE FROM HERE!

“CONGRATULATIONS ON THE WEDDING MRS. NAKAMOTO!”

And yuta’s words kept ringing even when he was gone. Mechanically, your hands were balled into fists, anger rising. You were not feeling bitter at his words, for you didn’t expect anything better from him. But he shouldn’t have attacked your dignity in front of strangers.

only five minutes had passed and you were already encumbered with the weight of the ornament.

Your eyes were fixated on the place where yuta stood earlier. Each and every presence in the room could easily sense your aggravation for the man.

After a few more moments of silence, Kun took your hand in his, dragging you inside with him. You were startled at his sudden action but nonetheless tagged along.

“We are having brunch, whoever wants to eat can join us!” he announced whilst  facing forward.

You both passed the open kitchen to halt at the big dining hall packed with a large table and what looked like countless chairs. It was just twin room of the hallway, with just more accommodation.

“The house doesn’t seem this big from outside though?” Kun chuckled as he set his eyes on your genuinely confused face.

“The ground floor has only two halls, kitchen and one other room. We skipped the backyard and just constructed this according to our needs. Big family, you know” he scanned the chairs and continued. “And we’ll add one more chair for you” you responded with only a tight lipped smile. He seemed to be content though.

Before you could converse further, your attention was diverted to the muttering of several boys, entering not so quietly into the room.

“Sit here, near my chair” Kun ushered you towards a chair. “I’ll be back with the food.”

A taller boy, maybe Jungwoo was the first to sit near you and greeted you with an electric eye smile which you tried to return with same energy. Everyone was scattered around the table by now. Some of them were glancing at you but no words were spoken.

You were about to distract yourself with your phone when Kun and another boy came back to the hall with two trolleys occupied with the food and plates. After plates were passed to everyone, delicious ttaekbokki ramyeon and tempura veges were served. the food looked mouth watering and hums of satisfaction confirmed your belief. you had just started eating when someone entered the room.

“Why is she sitting on my seat?

You stopped chewing hearing jaehyun’s voice.

“I told her to! And don’t use this tone again. Not with family at least!”  

You could’ve paid heed to Kun’s sensible words but jaehyun seemed too keen on robbing you of any kindness.

“It’s just been a day and she is already replacing people here!” he remarked before sitting far away from his supposed seat.

“Jaehyun!” Kun’s voice was laced with an unsaid warning.

“Yeah, whatever.”

Despite being hungry earlier, you couldn’t swallow the food properly. You were not there to replace anyone .you were just as displeased to be in his presence as he was. But his displeasure for you was getting unbearable.

You were so engrossed in thoughts that you didn’t notice that everyone was already leaving with their plates. Kun and Johnny had noticed your hurt expressions at jaehyun’s words but there was so little they could do right now.

Under their studying eyes, you hurriedly tried to finish the remaining food.

“You should not move in today” taeil, whom you recognised from the first day, spoke.

“And why is that?” Johnny asked, pointing his chopsticks towards him.

“It’s just not a very fruitful day for moving in. that’s it” taeil replied with a serious expression.

“Now welcome to the 21st century grandpa! We don’t believe in superstitions devised when YOU were born!” Johnny snickered at the older.

“Ok do it! Don’t come to me later on. The legends are there for a reason.”

“I dreamt pigs the day I came across him anyway and I don’t think any spirit can be more evil than him!” as you finished, the four men started laughing hysterically.

“Y/n is such a match for me!”

But taeil quickly disapproved. “No, I don’t need two Johnny here.”

“I gotta go” taeyong announced. “Welcome to family y/n. I know this is not a very pleasant situation but it is what it is. You are welcomed here anytime and this place is yours as much as ours. Take care!” you merely nodded towards him. Were you supposed to show gratitude? You weren’t sure of that yet!

“So everyone I saw earlier lives here!” you asked Kun curiously. You weren’t sure to whom this place belonged and what exactly was this house. Their residential place? But why did they have a basement with metal doors then? It was better to just ask than assume.

But instead of Kun, taeil responded. “This house was designed by ten and doyoung to facilitate us with everything that wasn’t possible in the apartments we used to live earlier. Whilst looking like any posh dwelling in the area, it is not just that. The dining room might have provided you some insight already. My room is downstairs or I might say the only room on this floor in mine. Everyone else is settled on first and second floor. You can do a tour if you want. And if you want to stay here, I would love to displace Johnny outta his room and you can spend the night in mine.” his speech ended with a sincere smile.

“Whoa hyung!” Johnny exclaimed with eyes opened to infinity. “She didn’t ask for a lecture. And don’t waste your breath explaining that you have the best room in the whole world when we are short on time here!”

“Why is that now?”

“I have to drop y/n to her apartment. Whenever she is done with the food of course.” Johnny said pointing towards your plate. Sometime while listening to taeil, you had dropped your chopsticks again but continued again, muttering an apology.

“What’s the hurry? I want to talk to her!” Kun whined at Johnny.

“Then tag along but only if y/n wants!” both of them raised their brows at you, waiting for an answer.

“Yeah, of course you can come. Why would I refuse? “You chuckled at their childish tactics.

Once you were done with the food, Kun seized your utensils as you tried to get up with the plate.

“Wait for me. I’ll be back and then we can go” he announced going out of the room.

You sheepishly looked at the both taeil and Johnny who were now busy in their respective phones. Just when you were fishing out your phone from the pocket, it ringed, startling you.

Chelin.

You hurriedly excused yourself to the farther corner of the room ,ready to get a scolding from her.

“Where are you?” you gulped at her cold voice.

“I’m –I had to-

“You moved out right. Your desk is clear. And you lied to me” her voice was laced with frustration. You could imagine that she was on the verge of pulling her hair. “You know what! Don’t talk to me again!” and with that she hung up.

You tried her number twice but she didn’t pick up. You knew she won’t be mad for too long. She was genetically incapable of doing that but still her being angry with you was not settling in.

“y/n!”

you gave up calling her and decided in favour of letting her cool down first. not like you had any other option!

“Are we going?”

“Yup and jaemin is going to join us.” you almost rolled your eyes at his mention. You couldn’t understand his interest in you but at least he was harmless, not like yuta.

As you four reached the large parking space, taeil went inside again saying his goodbyes. Now you were all waiting for jaemin to come outside but the boy was nowhere in sight.

“I’m here!” jaemin chimed but he was not alone. There were two other boys with him which he had tried to introduce earlier.

“I was packing some food . Jungwoo hyung told me that -

“Chit-chat in the car! Let’s go!” Johnny scolded them.

With few adjustments, you were on the road. The position of jisung and chenle appeared quite pitiful. Due to lack of space, they both were practically sitting on each other. Jaemin forced them to converse with you which turned out pretty nice for you.

All the three boys were techies or the backbone of the team, as jaemin exaggeratedly explained to you. And they were younger as well. Talking to them was easier than you thought. And surprisingly they had many budding questions about your studies as well which were happily answered by you.

You were so engrossed in your little exchange that none of you released you were already there. You checked the time and it took about thirty minutes of drive including the traffic to reach there.

“Oh shit!” your face dimmed on realisation. “It’ll take about an hour to reach university from here!”

Kun and Johnny faced each other with shocking faces. Johnny slowly mouthed something to Kun before he chuckled “I think taeyong totally forgot that you are a student. Taeyong tends to do that. He’s very stressed out lately but I think you’ll love this place. I’ll park the car and Kun will take you to the apartment and others will help me with the boxes.” Johnny instructed everyone like a boss.

“Saved it!” Johnny whispered to Kun with a smug smile.

“Oh did you!” Kun shook his head in disbelief and stepped out of the vehicle.

You looked up to see the skyscraper in its whole glory, hand robotically shielding your eyes. The curved reflective glass windows were gleaming, you wished your room would also have that beautiful glass balcony, reflecting the sun.

“you’ll have plenty of time to gawk!” Kun practically dragged you by your elbow, towards the elevator.

“It was Johnny right.” you said quietly as Kun pressed the button to 10th floor.

“Yesss. he chose the place but he really put some effort in this task.” you couldn’t help but smile at him.

“Here we are!”

As you exited the lift, three doors met your sight, one facing you, while others opposite to each other. Kun headed for the right now, you following behind.

“I’ll set up the smart locking system in your phone for the keypad. Everything from mail room to amenity access is controlled with this single pin so remember it. 2610 is the code but you can change it whenever you want.” you nodded consuming the information.

The front door to your new shelter was opened and you were left in awe at the first sight. The entry was narrow but you could see a big living room at the end of it. You removed the shoes following Kun.

Your eyes shimmering, moved everywhere as a smile crept up your face.

The hall was big, at least for two people it was! If you could somehow drag the single seater sofa towards the half glassed window, you don’t think anyone would want to move from there. The rustling of the city could be seen from up there. Down there, a small portion of the park attached to the building was also visible. you were practically attached to the window still by now.

Kun noticed. He noticed how how eyes turned lively as you beheld your surroundings. His own lips curved up watching your reaction.

“Do you like it?” Johnny voice quizzed. Your suitcase now placed besides him. Chenle, jisung and jaemin trailed behind him with boxes in their hands.

“Yes, I love it actually!” you voiced your joy, leaving the hall windows.

“I’ll help” you offered but before you could actually do something, they left like the wind.

“Let’s explore” Kun suggested.

To the right of the hallway was the semi-open kitchen as half of it was covered with a wall but the other part was visible from the couches. The kitchen was itself very sophisticated but poor thing you won’t be cooking any five star recipes in there.

The small space between hallway and kitchen led you towards two rooms. Good thing they were hidden from the sight.

“You can choose your room but I’d prefer this one!” as he opened the left door, you knew what he meant. The scenery you beheld outside could also be seen from this room. The sliding glass door lead to a small balcony opening to the same view. The room itself was very decent just like the rest of the place.

There was a desk with a bookshelf on the upper side of wall which made you confused about Kun’s previous statement. “How could Johnny forget that I was a student but still remembered about these things.” you asked pointing towards the study space.

“His involvement was only till the real estate stuff. Everything else is planned by me so I’m ready to accept some gratitude.”

You let out a small giggle, thanking him immediately.

“Unfortunately, there is only one bathroom. 2b2b apartments are harder to find and there was no need for three bedrooms so you’ll have to compromise here!” he explained pursing his lips. You nodded your head at him while opening the door to the bathroom. To say it was beautiful would be an understatement. It was twice the size of your dorm bathroom. from shower enclosure to bath tub and sink, everything was made of ceramic and marble.

“Hey come out! Where are you both?” you heard Johnny’s screaming voice. You and kun both rushed towards the sound.

“Should I keep the boxes in the room?”

“Yeah, thanks, this one!” you pointed to the left room. He smirked at your choice, winking your way.

Finishing the task at hand, you all slouched down on the couches. Even if you didn’t move a limb, you were just exhausted by other activities of the day.

“I’m hungry!” chenle groaned stroking his stomach.

“What are you?? Even a whale has some control you insatiable boy!” jaemin scolded him, making everyone laugh.

“Call me whatever. But can’t I have some from the box. Just a little!” chenle pleaded giving him an eye smile.

“That is for noona. And you aren’t getting anything!”

“What is he talking about?” you inquired after you were mentioned.

“Jeno told me you don’t cook so I got you the leftovers for dinner. The container is in the kitchen. heat them and eat them!” jaemin replied nonchalantly like it was nothing big. But it was meaningful gesture, for you.

So you didn’t hold back this time. “That’s so kind of you, thank you!” you said smiling to him. “And feel free to eat chenle. Go help yourself.”

Chenle grinned like a happy child but was met with a pointing finger of jaemin. “Get a grip!”  And he slumped down further into the cushion, grumpily crossing his arms over his chest.

“By the way y/n.” Kun addressed you, searching out for something in his pockets, that something, you discovered, were the keys.

“People usually don’t need keys for separate rooms when they live together but you are a special case, so you might need these.” you nodded knowingly, taking the jiggling set from him.

“Let’s watch some t.v before going. The first thing that I did was setting this up and there’s a gaming system attached as well.” Johnny announced before leaving his place to locate the remote under the TV system.

Squatting in the middle of the bed, you looked at the deep blue boxes with a twisted face. Unpacking these boxes would certainly be a chore.

Were you any eager to do it? No.

Was it essential? Very.

You pouted and slumped on the silky white sheets, the queen sized bed providing you with the enjoyment of being a starfish, for the first time in forever. It felt nice and cosy. Unknowingly, your lips curved a bit, releasing a sigh of content.

You couldn’t say for how much longer, but the feeling of having a home brought tranquillity to your muddled thoughts. You have always dreamt about buying your own house, having a place you would be enthusiastic to come back to!

But this was not reality. This was just an intermission to the life you were heading towards! A timeout. And it would just end in smoke, with no accurate termination.

You raised your left hand to view the small diamond resting on your finger. It was beautiful, meant to be worn by a real bride, someone whose ring didn’t came with an expiration date.

Shaking your head, you pushed yourself off the comfortable position. You couldn’t spend your day in melancholy whilst that yuta was probably plotting something to make your life miserable and organising yourself would be the first step towards preparation of retaliation. So you got up from the soft bed to look through the boxes. You picked up the box with some of your random stuff and staggered towards the bathroom.

If there was a place you’ll love more than the room, that’d surely be this bathroom. but so was the hallway!

Even after placing everything from your hair products to the sanitary ones, the ceramic cabinet over the sink still looked empty. You decided to buy some things only to fill that up! Though you were swamped with work right now, you couldn’t resist looking at the frameless rectangular mirror. it was dreamy! and you felt it was a nice ego booster for you as well!

One by one, within one and a half hour, you cleared all the boxes and orderly arranged everything into the cupboards and closet. The only thing left was your desk space but it could be delayed.

You flopped on the couch tiredly, wanting nothing more than to sleep. But there was one more thing on the checklist.

Chelin.

You looked at her contact, tapping your foot constantly and when you knew there was no enough courage in you, crossing your legs on the sofa, you dialled her number.

“Hey!” a male voice answered the phone instead.

“Um jay, where is chelin? Can you tell her it’s me!” you said sheepishly, trying to sound as innocent as possible.

“I don’t think she wants to talk right now. And why did you ran away?”

All your anxiousness suddenly left your body at the overstated accusation.

“I didn’t run away jay, who told you that!” and you were trying to be serious here!

“Nobody told me that. I can figure common things out, you know. Your stuff is gone and you didn’t inform chelin whilst doing that. So imma assume-

“My winter clothes are still there, dumbass. Just give the phone to chelin so I can explain.”

“Nope, she’s in bathroom and angry but for you, only you, I’ll try, to make your position better if you buy me lunch tomorrow!” you scrunched your nose, imagining him doing his sly brow lousy thing with a smug look. But the deal looked good. So you just hopped in.

“ok.” and before you could say anything, he cut the phone. Annoying brat!

and it was also favourable that you were easily distracted for as soon as you turned the TV on ,you got lost in another world, forgetting all the worries for a while.

Your irrational fear of sharp microwave beeps was the reason you were eating the bland ttaebbokki right now. Cold food is the best food had already left the chat as you opened the lunch box. You didn’t enjoy the delicacy earlier due to certain someone and now you couldn’t appreciate it because of your own heightened senses. The ramyeon was a saviour, ttaebokki, on the other hand was now in a contest  with the double caramelised candy that could not be chewed even with metal teeth.

You have spent about 4 hours watching t.v and it was already eight. Your desk was yet to be decorated with books and stuff, still your brain cells favoured watching two movies that would’ve made no sense in real life, but like you always say, who cares! And now you were watching some random football match. Just as you were about to scream at the goal, the front door closed with a thud.

You placed the food down on table, craning your neck above the back of the sofa, looking for the intruder.

Yuta. You had totally forgot about your so called roommate!

“Do you think the food would settle down in your gut?” he took long strides to reach you and asked with a quirking brow.

You turned around to focus on the food instead. But with the slight dip in the head of sofa, you could feel his presence hovering over you.

“Why wouldn’t it!” you replied with equal affection. “And I’m avoiding you so it’s better if you keep yourself on silent mode as well.”  You said again with a hint of finality in your unwavering voice.

Whilst you were trying to direct your attention towards the t.v. in an attempt to ignore him, you felt his warm breath fanning against your ear. You nervously swallowed the bite you took earlier, hoping he would just go away instead of being so inquisitive.

“But I’m willing to make peace here and you are being so harsh to me. you should respond when I talk to you” your shoulders tensed at the fake pout that you assumed he was wearing now, just to get under your nerves. His expressions might have been cordial but you got the innuendo in his words perfectly.

You placed the food container on the table again. “If we have to live together get one thing in your head! I’m here because of you! So don’t try to act up like you are the boss of me! And I don’t agree with your idea of peace if it involves the death of my dignity.” you kept your cool but irritation was radiating from your body and you hoped he would get the message and leave you alone.

“Oh wow!” yuta chuckled a bit before walking around to sit beside you. Instinctively, you shifted towards the other end of the couch. “You think you are the only one who-

His eyes followed your movements as you rolled your eyes, blatantly disregarding him in favour of leaving the couch. But he was quick as he pulled you down by your wrist, causing you to yelp in discomfort.

“You think you are the victim and sufferer here!” he leaned closer, his hand still on your wrist, his attitude changing. That’s when you smelled some alcohol on him. “You think you can deal with anything, catching a criminal red handed and living the life of glory as someone who bravely handled a dangerous situation where anyone else would have cowered away. But guess what!” his voice rose at the end and nostrils flaring with every syllable. “You are the most foolish person I’ve ever met. You have not only ruined your life but mine too. Why couldn’t you have walked past that day like any other person? Everything was fool proof from cctv to police, but you had to intrude!”

You bit the inside of your cheek as your breath quickened. He was staring right into your eyes but the intensity in his orbs unabled you to look away. He could sense your building anxiety but he still continued. “And now I am fucking suspended for a month due to your stupidity. Taeyong told me I’ve become a risk to them. Do you know how it damn feels when your own family fucking doubt you? They questioned my abilities all because of you. I’m-I’m unsure of myself only because of you. I can’t go back to my house, my job, my brothers! why can’t you just fucking leave!” yuta’s chest rose and fell with rapid breaths as he stood up, leaving your wrist with a jerk. His grip wasn’t that tight but it still left a stinging pain.

You watched him while rubbing your wrist as he raked his hand through his hair, apparently controlling himself. his other hand was shuffling for something in his pocket.

A loud gasp echoed in the hall as yuta’s hand moved and he aggressively stabbed a knife into the table. And it was not a normal kitchen knife!

“Just fucking leave!” 

and with that he was gone.

as you heard the bedroom door closing ,you let out a harsh breath, shoulders slumping in relief.

You eyed the weapon that has damaged the classy wooden table. 

Taeyong had assured you that yuta won’t harm in you in any way but his actions were speaking another language!

but for now all you could feel was….fear?

earlier in black neos estate-

“You can’t stay here forever, you know” mark’s words pulled yuta back to reality. As much as he wanted this nightmare to end, he knew there’s wasn’t even a slight chance of odds being in his favour.

“But there is nothing that can’t be delayed!” yuta shot back at him, chugging his beer.

“You can leave tomorrow. Half of the place is empty, you can easily sneak in!”

“You want me to hide in my own house?” he snorted at younger.

“No. I meant-

“Besides yong gave me clear instructions to make peace with that women which includes breathing the same air as hers and I’m going to follow his command like a happy puppy I am!” he let out a chuckle towards the end, making mark gulp in panic. “And I gotta transfer my stuff tomorrow and you’re going with me.”

“Not until 8 in the evening. We are going for a weapon exchange in the afternoon.” mark said taking sip of the drink. Some questions in his head still needed to be answered but he was lacking right words. Yuta was already on edge since the whole fiasco started and mark, in no way wanted to trigger him anymore. “What are you going to do, if I may ask?” he questioned hesitantly.

“Nothing for now. I went to her university and all I have till now is that she is extremely close to her friends. Maybe have a thing for hook-ups, can’t be sure though. In her head, she is too smart and can surmount anything. That day in the basement proved it already. she isn’t fearless, in no way she is but still she manage to fight back with that rising panic, I don’t know how!” he paused to look at mark, biting his lower lip to cover a smile creeping on his face. “With her whole strength, she tries to pretend that she isn’t frightened down to her soles but whenever I’m near her, he-her throat tightens. It-it’s like she forgets the whole process of exhaling.”

Mark’s mouth went dry hearing that.

“Hyung!” he addressed yuta, almost losing his grip at the beer. He was in no way being intimidating but mark was feeling apologetic for him.

“What now?”

“How closely have to observe her? You sound like a stalker hyung!”

“Don’t call me that.” he slapped mark’s back lightly. Had he applied a little of his strength, he would have been lying on the ground floor right now!  “Maybe I read her file more than a couple of times to just create some familiarity but she’s, hmm, how to explain it! Maybe authentic! But I did nothing creepy though and even if I did, those marriage papers cuts out everything” he chuckled again and it was now concerning mark. he was not drunk but was still laughing too much for it to be normal.

“I’ll suggest just leave it be! Haven’t you thought that she was just at wrong place at wrong time?”

“No!! the problem is that she still somewhere in her head thinks that she was at wrong place at right time! I would’ve had no problem if taeyong had just let her go but no !! he has to go and make my life miserable.” his soothing voice rose a few octaves. He was frustrated and had no other way of letting that go.

Mark watched him, looking into the sky, like he was finding some solutions. He couldn’t turn around the time nor he could do anything for yuta.

He tried to focus on the sky instead. It was so quiet, but what that silence engulfed in it was a mystery for now.

the stars looked beautiful, almost poetic, for the time being.

************************

HOPE YOU ALL ARE ENJOYING IT! MY WRITING IS NOT THE BEST BUT I’M TRYING TO IMPROVE! THANK YOU FOR READING.

#nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct fluff #nct x reader #nct mafia #nct arrange marriage #yuta scenarios #yuta imagines #yuta mafia #yuta arrange marriage #yuta angst #nct angst

[yukipri]

Marco’s Bauble Part 5 - a One Piece Mermaid AU Text Story

Here’s the next part of Marco’s Bauble!

In which the Whitebeards gossip even more, and the gossip circle widens.

Contains mention of Marco x Luffy.

Continues off of, and should be read after:

👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 1

👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 2

👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 3

👒🐟Marco’s Bauble, Part 4

"Does the meeting have to be in my room?"

Jozu's room feels cramped with six commanders crammed inside. The Commander bedrooms, which double as their offices, aren't exactly spacious. They're still the only crew members who even have their own private quarters, so no one complains. Of the Commander's rooms, Jozu's is the largest, simply to accommodate the fact that Jozu's physical bulk is several times that of any other Commander. So naturally, Jozu's room is where they gather when they need to have the rare Secret Meeting, away from any of Pops's rooms or public spaces that anyone can walk into.

"I don't even know why we're here," Jozu mutters mostly to himself, perched awkwardly on the edge of his own bed. Vista and Rakuyo take up the rest of his mattress, because Izo's commandeered Jozu's desk and chair. Izo's even brought a mirror and makeup kit, and is putting eyeliner on Namur for some reason. Haruta's sitting on the floor by the door, to "keep watch," apparently.

"You can leave if you'd like, it's private anyway," Rakuyo smirks. He's only been let in on the secret because he'd been the one to make up the lie at lunch, announcing loudly that Haruta had actually shouted about marigolds in Izo's new perfume and not Marco. And oh yeah, Vista's allergic to them! Hence the overreaction, of course.

It's a miracle their other brothers bought the honestly bizarre lie, and Rakuyo secretly thinks that they most definitely heard but are bro enough to play along because the other Commanders looked so pathetically desperate for them to pretend it never happened. But well, it worked out for Rakuyo, who was able to corner Izo and Haruta (along with a still very much spooked Vista), to demand answers for so generously providing a coverup, no matter how shoddy.

(Rakuyo can just imagine how the rumor mill is churning right now, now that everyone other than the night shift is crammed into the barracks and lights are out. But ah well, that's not his business, at least until he gets some answers himself.)

Which leads them to now, in a Secret Meeting to reveal all.

Jozu heaves a massive sigh that jostles the other two Commanders taking up his bed, before getting up with a creak. It's very clear that Rakuyo is especially eager to start getting all the dirt or whatever this is about, and perhaps that really isn't something he wants to be a part of.

Jozu doesn't much like being chased out of his own room, but he doesn't really like gossip anyway. Maybe it would be better to step out, and not have to deal with the drama afterwards.

"Maybe I'll go take a walk..." Some fresh night air doesn't sound too bad.

"Yeah, we'll just be talking about Marco's upcoming wedding," Haruta chortles, even as he moves out of the way to let Jozu through.

Jozu freezes. Rakuyo makes a little oooh sound.

Jozu sits back down, and Vista and Rakuyo grunt as the mattress sinks towards their brother's greater mass.

"Wait, since when was it a wedding?" Namur's eyes widen. "I only know about his proposal, not even a formal engagement yet..."

There must be several steps between "proposal" and "wedding," or so Namur thought. But perhaps he's just misunderstanding humans once again.

"Hush, don't move, you'll ruin your eyeliner," Izo scolds, and Namur shuts up, wisely, because everyone knows how Izo feels about ruined eyeliner.

"Wait, wait, wait," Jozu starts, because he's just heard several things in rapid succession that he's failing to process. Jozu prides himself on fast thinking in battle, but it apparently doesn't apply outside of it, which is a problem because he's reeling. But then again, these types of cannonballs aren't shot into his face every day.

Jozu isn't given time, because Rakuyo's hooting like a madman, flailing arms smacking Vista, who has also gone frozen and wide-eyed, and Jozu's glad that at least he's not the only brother who feels lost.

"Alright, let's hear it! Who's the lucky boy?" Rakuyo leans as far forward towards Izo and Namur as he can without his ass leaving the bed.

"Get this," Izo leans in too, just as eager. "Marco's fiancee is a girl."

Jozu chokes, but it goes completely ignored, as does Vista's gasp and dainty hand to his heart, and Rakuyo expelling what seems to be all of the spit in his mouth, all in the face of Haruta bolting to his feet and shrieking "WHAT?!" loud enough to probably be heard on the other side of the Moby.

"Izo..." Namur cringes, and looks distinctively miserable, an expression all the more exaggerated by the dramatic winged liner Izo's put around his eyes.

"It's too late, we're all here, might as well share with just our fellow Commanders no? It's a big occasion for our dearest first mate," Izo says, well over the initial guilt he felt. After all, such a big occasion for their brother is most certainly relevant to their fellow Commanders!

Everyone else in the room makes silent eye contact at Izo and Namur's exchange, immediately understanding what had occurred: Izo had been sworn to secrecy, but had slipped.

Well, they all sympathize. They feel for their poor fishman brother, they've all been in his shoes before.

But they're also all currently in this room, and the secret's been spilled, so at this point...well, what happens in Jozu's room, stays in Jozu's room, no?

And so the story comes out, and multiple other bombs are dropped: that the girl's a mermaid, Marco's never even met her, and she's also Ace's little brother.

"Wow, didn't know he liked them that young, Ace's practically a baby himself," Rakuyo mutters, and gets a sharp jab in the elbows from Vista.

“A mermaid,” Vista breathes, stars in his eyes. “A phoenix with a mermaid, that’s so romantic!”

“Isn’t it?” Namur looks eager for the first time since the meeting started, glad he’s found a kindred soul. “They’ll look so good together…”

Jozu's brain has finally caught up to the situation, but something's not adding up. He makes to raise his hand, but ends up loudly cracking his shoulder against the wall instead, which still does the job of catching his brothers' attentions.

"Wait, but I thought Ace said he couldn't join our crew because he promised to be pirates with his little brother...but if she gets married to Marco and she joins our crew, then...?"

There's a moment of deep contemplative silence.

"Well, there's the chance that Ace doesn't know about his little brother's relationship with Marco," Izo says slowly. "He might not even know that they've been corresponding."

There's a collective wince as they imagine how Ace's reaction to that being revealed might go, if it indeed is a secret. The one thing they know about Ace's little brother is that Ace has a MASSIVE brother complex, and is very, Very protective. They suddenly don’t envy Thatch.

"Do you think Thatch knows?" Vista speaks up. "Is this why he went with Ace?"

"If he didn't know, he knows now, Marco sent the letter and engagement gem to him to deliver," Namur says hesitantly, finally willing to contribute information.

"So let's get this straight, Ace thought he was just going back to East Blue to start a new pirate crew, and Thatch was just tagging along to help, but Thatch was actually sent by Marco to escort his bride back to us? Without Ace knowing? Is that right?" Haruta's eyes are wide and he sounds extremely impressed. "That's so evil of him, I didn't know he had it in him, holy shit!"

"We don't know that," Namur mumbles, but is ignored.

“Do you think Thatch’ll be best man at the wedding?” Vista wonders.

“That’s not fair!” Haruta hisses at the same time Izo shouts, “Favoritism!”

"Okay, okay, wait. So in that case, assuming Ace eventually calms down and supports the union, that means his little brother joins us, right? And if she joins, doesn't that mean Ace would join too? Since she was the only reason why he didn't join us, and he wants to be on the same crew as his brother..." Jozu can't let go of the possibility, now that it's there.

They'd all been terribly sad when Ace announced he was leaving. Their crew all understood why he had to go, a promise is a promise, and they'd still always be brothers but...the 2nd Division Commander seat had practically been waiting for him.

"There's always the chance that they mean to do long distance," Namur says then, glumly.

"That's so boring!" Izo says dismissively. "Marco should take what's his, we're pirates!"

Rakuyo cheers while Namur gasps in indignation, and everyone else sighs, except Vista who suddenly freezes.

"Marco wouldn't...leave us to join them, would he...?"

Well there's a thought.

"...We can't know what the bride thinks, but that we can ask Marco, probably," Jozu says uncertainly. Suddenly this whole "marriage" business is a lot more stressful than expected, because Jozu's not sure he likes the idea of suddenly losing their first mate, no matter how nice his future company is.

"It's not likely, probably, because they're just a baby crew, who already have our brothers as senior members," Haruta reasons. "Far more likely that they'll join us!"

"The 2nd'll be happy to have Ace and Deuce back," Vista nods, focusing on the positives, and the mood lightens considerably. "And we'll be able to have a wedding!"

“A wedding! I love weddings!” Rakuyo cheers. “Drinks all around!”

"Ace'll become our 2nd Division Commander after all," Namur says, and he looks so happy that Izo croons and pokes his cheek.

"Wait," Jozu says, and Izo groans not again. "This may be getting ahead of ourselves but...if Ace is 2nd Division Commander, that puts his room right next to Marco's...isn't that sorta awkward for the newlyweds?"

"Jozu!" Namur looks very scandalized, while Rakuyo and Haruta cackle.

"Maybe Ace'll burn a hole through the wall so they can't have any privacy," Haruta grins.

"That's terrible," Vista says, despite also beginning to smile.

This is nice, imagining what their family's future might be like. It'll no doubt be wild, but a positive change.

"But maybe being close to his brother would make Ace happier too, so maybe the 2nd Division would really be perfect," Izo says contemplatively.

"Question, would Ace's little brother be in the 1st or 2nd Division?" Namur wonders.

Bickering breaks out, but Rakuyo cuts through it. "She's Ace's brother, she might be Commander material herself, who says she'll be in one of their divisions?"

"Commander of Division 1.5," Namur says dreamily.

And oh, well, that wasn't what anyone else had in mind, but the more they think about it, the more it appeals.

"Perfectly in between her husband and brother, our future Commander of Division 1.5," Izo says it out loud, testing how it feels.

"I like it," Haruta shouts, and is echoed by his brothers.

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WHELP that took forever to write, but I hope you enjoyed! The next part has Marco :P

The number of Whitebeards keeps increasing! We now have all the main Whitebeards that are usually given attention (Marco, Thatch, Jozu, Vista, Izo, Haruta), and in addition to Namur, I decided I wanted to give Rakuyo some love! I think he looks like a Jack Sparrow rip off so I like him haha. Did anyone catch the reference?

Anyway, still very much figuring out how I want to portray them, but I'm enjoying exploring them in writing, so I'll know how to better depict them in any future art ^ ^;

As always, thank you so much for reading, and any comments are immensely appreciated!! (Comments are what make me decide how frequently to update, because the next parts are already written and up on Patreon <3)

❀ ❀ Send YukiPri an Ask! ❀ ❀

Read the next part: Marco’s Bauble, Part 6

~This ask has been added to the Mermaid AU Text Headcanons Compilation post~

#OnePieceMermaidAU #One Piece Mermaid AU #MarLu #Marco the Phoenix #Whitebeard Pirates #genderbend #text headcanons #longpost #long post