Tumgik
#which is francis and henry explaining to richard what happened at the bacchanal
westernsunshine · 4 years
Text
To be honest I am minutes away from liveblogging my TSH reread
0 notes
sophteaa · 2 years
Text
Hiii, ok so we had to write a fanfic for class and somehow I ended up writing a secret history vampire au? I’ve never written fic before and it’s by no means perfect but I thought I’d post it here. Also it definitely doesn’t make sense chronologically or with some of the plot but whatever lol. Sorry if formatting got weird on tumblr
It’s <900 words and also has some Richard/Francis and I’d rate it maybe teen, there’s nothing graphic
The Secret History - Vampire AU
“And if beauty is terror,” said Julian, “then what is desire? We think we have many desires, but in fact we have only one. What is it?”
“To live,” said Camilla.
“To live forever,” said Bunny, chin cupped in palm.”
~ Donna Tartt, The Secret History
I knew I should be glad that I had escaped direct involvement in the poor farmer’s death, but admittedly, some part of me longed to have been a part of their ritual, despite its dark outcome. It was what we stood for, something grand, a brief escape from monotonous mortality. It had taken months of effort after all, and rightly so, I think, I couldn’t help feeling a little left out.
The others must have sensed my bitterness, or else they also felt regrettably that I couldn’t have been a part of it, seeing as I learned what happened anyway, as Francis approached me some time later. He had knocked on my dorm room door after dark, and when I opened it he walked in looking a tad nervous.
“Francis.”
“Richard.”
“Is everything okay?”
“Yes, yes, just… we were talking yesterday, and… there’s something else that happened at the bacchanal. Something we feel you should have been a part of. You’re one of us now, after all,” he said, looking down.
“Oh. Did Henry send you?”
“I told him I would handle it.” When he didn’t immediately elaborate, I prompted him to go on.
“Well, so, what is it?”
“There was a reason that man got killed, and why we all came back so covered in blood.” He paused. “We have that saying, ‘live forever,’ and, well, Henry had a way to do that. To make us live forever.”
“Wh- How? I don’t understand.”
Francis looked around like he was searching for a way to explain. Finally he looked back at me and gave an odd, open mouthed smile, and then turned away again, exposing the side of his neck. The smile wasn’t really a smile; it showed me his teeth, two of which, I realized, his canines, were longer and pointier than they had previously been and looked unnatural in his mouth. On his neck were two tiny red dots about an inch and a half or so apart.
“F-Francis, '' I gasped, “no.” But it made sense, really, because it explained so much about Henry. How he was so good so young at translation and languages, how he had the money he did, why he lived so much in his studies that he hadn’t known about the moon landing. His perception of murder.
“ Yes. Henry is a vampire. We all are, now. Except for you and Bunny of course. Henry’s much older than us though. The books we read… he was actually alive when some of them were written. He was born in Greece. Ancient Greece.”
“That’s- that’s how you guys were able to have a real bacchanal. How he’s so impossibly good at Greek.”
“Yes,” Francis said, “it's quite impressive really, how much he knows and how well he’s kept the truth of it under wraps.” He sat down on the bed beside me - I had gone to sit down in my shock. “We only killed that man because we had just been turned, by the way. We were so hungry right at first and still out of it from the bacchanal. Normally human blood isn’t necessary, but we needed it then to complete the process.” To my astonishment, he then pulled a small vial from his pocket that looked to be filled with blood. “Luckily, we had the foresight to collect some extra from him in case we needed it.” Francis reached up and put a hand to my shoulder as I stared at him. “Will you join us?” He asked.
“Will I join you,” I repeated faintly. The sane thing to do would be to say ‘no, of course not,’ but as he held my gaze I found myself wondering what it would be like to truly live forever, to watch as the world changed around us, to have all the time in the world to learn, and read, and travel, and to stay young always. To be gods. And I thought also of how it would be to grow old and wrinkled and forgetful, while my peers, my beautiful, brilliant friends, stayed just as young and lively as they are now.
“Yes,” I whispered. Francis’s hand traveled from my shoulder slowly up my neck to cup my jaw. I repressed a shiver.
“Okay, good,” he breathed. “If you’re sure, it will be easier for both of us if…” He leaned closer, face now inches from mine, his other hand finding my arm. I closed the gap between us.
The kiss was slow but electric, both of us nervous. After a while his lips moved to my jaw and I tried not to think about the implications and just lose myself in the feeling.
“It’ll only hurt for a moment,” he whispered in my ear before placing one last kiss on my lips and then moving back down to my neck. Before I even knew it was happening, the world faded into hazy darkness.
25 notes · View notes
cat-brodsky · 4 years
Text
The Secret History: Abridged (part 2)
Fair use disclaimer: The following text is intended as a parody and literary commentary of the published book “The Secret History” by Donna Tartt. Some direct quotations from the book, constituting a very low percentage of the original, have been integrated in the parodic text where appropriate. The author of this text neither profits nor intends to profit from it.
Dramatis personae
The farmer, brutally murdered by four rich kids on a drug trip
Richard Papen, the narrator, a slightly less starry-eyed youth slowly growing addicted to drugs
Julian Morrow, a Greek professor who doesn’t actually care about his students
Bunny Corcoran, killed on Easter, lying at the bottom of a ravine covered by snow
The Toffs minus one:
Henry Winter, increasingly exasperated as the Greek class spirals into self-destruction
Francis Abernathy, gay, neurotic, and slowly descending into alcoholism
Charles Macaulay, a full-blown drunken abuser
Camilla Macaulay, the token girl
Judy Poovey, the only character in the book with both brains and heart
The Corcorans, Bunny’s large family, grieving and “grieving” the loss of their son
Georges “I told you so” Laforgue
Cloke Rayburn, the friendly neighborhood drug dealer
William Hundy, the friendly neighborhood bigot
the greek chorus (played by a person in a floral bedsheet toga with two sockpuppets)
The Fans, seated in the front row of the audience
    Chapter 6, in which it snows on Easter
Richard: Just for the record, I don’t consider myself an evil person. What we did was terrible, but you know, none of us were exactly bad!
Richard: Anyway, that’s totally unfair. I thought murdering Bunny would be easy, but for some reason now I’m having nightmares and everybody is on edge and we’re scared the cops are onto us!
Judy: Want some Demerol?
Richard: Sure, nothing could go wrong with thaaa- oh wow I’m hiiigh.
Francis: ohgodI’m so damn nervous - oh, hi, Richard. Wanna f-
Charles: And I’m three sheets to the wind. Soused. Pished. Drunk.
Francis: Gimme some.
the greek chorus: and that’s gonna be a theme for the rest of the book
    The Toffs (minus one): We need to act normal. How do we act like normal people. We could say we were watching some of that new-fangled cinematography whilst the murder, I mean the accident, happened. Do we call the cops? Wait, uh, not yet...
Julian: My student has been absent for more than three classes in a row, should I be concerned? Haha, just kidding.
Cloke: Man, I don’t like this. You know Bunny’s always broke, but he’s been flush with cash lately. And he’s always wanted in on my... pharmaceutical business. You think he ran afoul of some real bad guys and got himself killed?
Henry: Oh, he just might have.
Cloke: Damn. Let’s go search his room before calling the cops.
Charles: He had a cut-out of the newspaper with the farmer murder! Oh well, good thing I managed to swipe it.
    The cops: He’s been missing for a week and nobody informed us? What’s wrong with you people?
Judy: Richard, have you heard about Bunny? I’m sure he’s alright, but... If you want to talk, or need anything, I’m here.
    The search for Bunny: begins
The reporters: present
William Hundy: Daymn right I saw ‘im! He was in a back seat of a white car, with some arab type folks. Now I ain’t saying they was terrorists, but you know them daymn arabs-
Henry: Who’d have thought people are going to make things up? And who’d have thought giving him money would look suspicious?
Francis (drunk): I’ve had to spend time with the Corcorans. How utterly terrible. One of the damn children running around ruined my favorite scarf. And they didn’t even notice - what’s more important, their dead son or my scarf? By the way, Richard, I am definitely not attracted to you.
Julian: One of my own students - missing? I would be sorry for his parents if they weren’t so... low-brow. But he's such a sweet boy, so silly; I'm really very fond of him. If anything should have happened to him I don't know if I could bear it. Goodness me, this is altogether so very exciting, so dramatic!
Henry, stars in his eyes: There’s divinity in the midst of us.
    The FBI agent: We found drug paraphernalia in Bunny’s room.
Mrs. Corcoran: How dare you!
Cloke: I want a lawyer.
Camilla: Did you know Henry had us kill a piglet after that accident with the farmer? Blood can only be washed off with blood, he said.
Richard: Haha, that’s so Henry.
the greek chorus: and then the body is finally found
    Chapter 7, in which everyone takes drugs
Everyone in Hampden college: mourns in a sufficiently dramatic way
Julian, writing a letter: Dear Richard, this is all too hard for me. I fear I have a case of the vapours and thus, I shall not return to Hampden until after the funeral. Who cares about the classes you’re taking with me, amirite?
The Toffs: stay with the Corcorans in preparing for Bunny’s funeral
Mr. Corcoran: my son... oh god my son is dead ...you boys want a brewsky?
Mrs. Corcoran: And those flower arrangements we were sent are atrocious. Simply shameful.
Francis: What do you mean we have to sleep in the basement? That’s just wretched.
Richard: This funeral is so inconvenient. I don’t know how I’m gonna get through this. And the food they serve us is terrible.
Henry: And the garden is so ugly.
Camilla: I can’t take it. Let’s steal some drugs from the Corcorans.
Cloke: Lemme show you where the missus keeps the good stuff.
Francis and Henry (drunk): Gimme some.
Charles, Cloke et al: get stoned the morning of the burial
Richard: Bunny’s grave is just terrible to look at. Oh, I cannot even.
    the greek chorus: farmer who?
    Chapter 8, in which it all goes to hell
Julian: Henry is such a sensitive young man. I fear this is hard on him. And Edmund and him were so very close. But why did he have to read such a... modern poem at the wake? I would have suggested something from Phaedo.
Richard: Time for more drugs
Charles: Time for more whiskey
Francis: Time for a shopping trip!
Francis was always generous with his clothes. He gave Charles and me his old suits by the armload. I still wear a lot of those suits: Sulka, Aquascutum, Gieves & Hawkes.
the greek chorus: no comment
    Henry: is gardening
Francis: gets diagnosed with an anxiety disorder
Charles: crashes his car driving drunk
Charles: makes out with Camilla in full view of Richard
Francis: Yep, they're doing it. Haven’t you noticed? Him and I slept together once or twice too, big deal. Hell, Richard, if you drank as much as he did, we would have screwed too.
Richard: ...Jesus. And I’m stuck with these people until I graduate.
    Charles: falls asleep outside while drunk
Richard: Well, he has a fever of 103 Fahrenheit, which, going by my premed education means uh... Judy, what do we do?
Judy: Go to the hospital, of course! Wait, take my car. I’ll give you the keys.
Julian: So young Charles is in the hospital? Dearie me, you all must be grieving for Edmund. Though, is death really so terrible a thing? It seems terrible to you, because you are young, but who is to say he is not better off now than you are?
    Francis: Oh, and I think Camilla and Henry have been sleeping together. And she moved out of Charles’ place. I think they had an argument.
Richard: Well, I’m not taking sides, but this is a really bad time. You should go see him.
Camilla: ...Charles was physically abusing me. I’m afraid of him. And I can’t stay at Francis’ place, because he’d fold like a wet tissue.
Richard: So is that it? You're protecting your own interests?
the greek chorus: DID YOU JUST-
Richard: What if Charles goes to the cops?
Camilla: He’d never do that. And Henry is looking out for him.
Richard: Sure, that’s why Henry’s been sending him whiskey.
    Richard: Time for more drugs. I’m on soooo many drugs. Did... did Henry plan it all out? He... he totally planned it out.
Henry: is gardening
Henry: For my entire life, I’ve been dead inside... but everything changed the night I killed that man.
the greek chorus: finally someone remembers the farmer
Henry: You don’t care much about other people, do you, Richard?
    Julian: A most terrible thing has happened. A letter, purportedly from the late Edmund, has been delivered to my office - filled with profanity and wild accusations and references to some... murder. A forgery, of course. It saddens me greatly that someone would do that. I wonder who...
The Toffs: oh no
Julian: Why, by Jove, this is the letterhead of the hotel where Edmund and Henry stayed on winter break!
Henry: ...I can explain. You see, during that bacchanal you sanctioned, we went a little wild and wound up recreating The Bacchae - it wouldn’t be authentic without a little killing, right? It was just an accident, we didn’t want to bother you. But then Edmund found out, and he, well... overreacted. He was having some personal problems, you know, family problems... Professor, you said it yourself - we must do what is necessary! Really, it was a mercy killing.
Julian:
Julian: ...why, that's terribly interesting. Anyway, I have just been urgently called away from the university. Istran royal family, you understand.
Henry: But-
Richard: But-
Julian: Gotta leave now, toodaloo!
Henry and Richard: ...son of a-
    Richard: You know, in hindsight, Julian is kind of a huge prick. I even wrote down that his inability to see anything in true light was his most attractive quality. Turns out he used his students to boost his ego like some sorta cult leader.
Richard: And you know what’s messed up? I still admire him.
Dean of Studies: Cozy place Julian’s got here, doesn’t he? Well, now that he’s done a bunk - three weeks before final exams - I regret to inform you that you guys will have to switch your majors or something. I doubt the school will keep teaching Greek.
Dean of Studies: After all, there was so little interest in the subject that Julian only had six students, right?
The Toffs: ...SON OF A-
    Francis: Charles has gone off the deep end. We’ve gotta take him out to the country, let him keep drinking there.
Charles: Henry’s trying to kill me.
Henry: Am not.
Charles: Are too!
Henry: We need to get him into rehab or something-
Charles: walks in with a gun
Henry: Never mind.
Charles starts shooting; Henry wrestles the gun from him.
Richard: Oh no. I’ve been shot.
Henry: I’m so done with y’all. Why do y’all have to be so incompetent? Can’t a man commit a murder in peace? And worse, Julian has up and fled! I loved him! I believed him! Duty, piety, loyalty, sacrifice my ass! I’m outta here.
Henry shoots himself.
the greek chorus: he lived like a Roman and died like a Roman - from lead poisoning.
Camilla, Charles, and Francis exit stage left
Richard: ...Uh, I’ve been shot? Hello? Anyone?
The Hippie enters stage right. Together with the greek chorus, they start carrying Richard off-stage.
The Hippie: It’s all a metaphor, man. Henry has a limp, from the car accident, right? Well, he’s Satan and he’s here to ruin lives. Julian gets off scot-free, but it doesn’t matter cause his soul is damned, man! That Donna chick is Catholic, right? That’s why Bunny was going on about sin and forgiveness - cause he knew what up and he has a chance in purgatory, man, but the others are Pagans so they don’t. Deep, man.
the greek chorus: man, you’re high like a kite.
    The Epilogue, in which nobody is happy
Richard: Yeah, well... Everyone except me dropped out. Turns out that our group was only really held together by Julian’s cult-like teaching and Henry’s blind devotion. And that once we couldn’t pretend to be better than everybody else, we stopped wanting to see each other. Or it might have been the two murders, who knows.
    Francis, in the hospital after a suicide attempt: So, my grandfather found me with Kim, a nice young lawyer, balls deep in me, and threatened to disinherit me-
Richard: That old homophobe!
Francis: Oh, no, that's cause Kim is Korean. Anyway uh this is my beard - my dear Pricsilla whom I'm gonna have to marry.
Richard: Or you could actually... work for a living.
Francis: That’s inconceivable. I mean, you work, but you are used to menial labor.
    Richard: So... what does Charles do these days?
Camilla: He drinks.
Richard: Good old Charles. Anyway, Camilla, will you marry me?
Camilla: Not a chance.
    Richard: Oh well. At least I got Henry’s brand new car out of this whole mess. That’s a net gain if you ask me.
    the greek chorus, narrating: “As a writer I’m giving the reader signs to help create the story with me. The reader is bringing his or her own memories, intelligence, preconceptions, prejudices, likes, dislikes. So the characters in your copy of the book are going to look and sound different than in mine. I have my own ideas, but once the book is out there it’s not really mine anymore, and my own idea isn’t any more valid than yours.” Donna Tartt, 2019.
The Fans rush onstage.
Fan 1: Henry did nothing wrong!
Fan 2: Who wants to have a bacchanal?
Fan 3: omg look at my character moodboards
Fan 4: What if we kissed over a copy of the secret history
Fan 5: dark acadamia(sic!) aesthetic
Fan 6: Donna Tartt died for our sins
    the greek chorus:
the greek chorus: FUUUUUUUUUUUU-
    Curtains.
43 notes · View notes