#which is fun to listen to cause it's so weird and alien to me

[luvsuperboard]

lee felix, the fuck did you put in the brownies?

pairing: besties!ot8 x gn!reader

contains: crack, cursing, dramatic ass besties bc they’re skz, mentions of weed (mdni).

‼️: remember this is just an scenario and humor, don’t take anything seriously!!

note: I LOVE MAKING THESE, it’s so fun KDJD. btw thank you sm for all the likes and reblogs for “comfort meal” i really appreciate it <33

-

you were in your room, chilling like a villain –yes, like the movie descendants, what about it– and like the cool person you are when you started to feel dizzy. kind of nauseous although you still felt… relaxed? it was a weird feeling. your head felt heavy and your stomach was growling even though you weren’t hungry, you had eaten moments ago.

you quickly stood up and ran to the bathroom, facing the mirror you took a look at your face; your eyes looked tired and droopy, which was weird since you had gotten a good sleep the night before…

this could only mean one thing, well, you could either be turning into a zombie or you were intoxicated by food –yea let’s go with the second option. your thoughts about zombies and unexplainable things like aliens and stuff are for other story.

back to your illness. you walked around your room, from the bed to the bathroom, from the vanity to the window. still thinking about what could’ve gotten you sick. you decided to go with an elimination process.

“okay… let’s see” you sat on the edge of your bed, frowning as you looked at the floor “yesterday…for dinner, cereal!” yea that couldn’t be, it was normal for you to eat that.

“this morning i had a toast? yea that can’t be” your hand went to your chin as you hummed, your eyes squinting as you tried to remember what else you ate that wasn’t usual or inside your comfort zone.

“today the guys came over… hyunjin brought wine, han brought cheesecake and felix brought brownies but- hold on” finally, good lord.

“SHIT SHIT SHIT!” mhm, a gut feeling was telling you this had to do with felix.

you quickly grabbed the jacket that was in your kitchens counter and looked for your car keys in the cabinet they were usually in but oh right, you were dizzy, and yea that didn’t help at all. it only caused your head to spin more.

“fuck it, they’ll have to come” you patted your pockets looking for your phone, when you opened it you went straight to the phone app’s keypad type felix’s number.

“beep…beep…beep… hi, it’s felix! please leave your message-”

“AGH, YOU KNOW WHAT? FORGET IT, YOU STUPID ANSWERING MACHINE” okay this wasn’t that deep yet you were getting anxious. but it’s okay we have a second option again.

“i swear to god if this man doesn’t respond” you looked through your contacts and found him; ‘mf with the big ass’.

“HELLO, THIS TIME IM NOT CALLING TO ASK FOR MONEY OR YOUR WORKOUT ROUTINE. PLEASE TELL ME WHERE IS FE-”

“oh hey y/nnnnn~” oh god.

“UM, HI? ANYWAY CAN YOU PLEASE TELL FELIX TO ANSWER MY-”

“felix? oh my! you like him? wowww i always knew you did! i mean im lowkey better but- HEY GIVE IT BACK!”

“NO! WAIT HYUNG WHY ARE YOU CRYING, I JUST TOOK THE PHONE? EW IS THAT DROOL? OH, UHH HEY Y/N!” you sighed when you heard a voice that sounded normal. it was jeongin, your savior.

“LISTEN JEONGIN, JUST LISTEN. BRING WHO EVER I DONT CARE IF YOU BRING THE WHOLE WOLF GANG, JUST MAKE SURE FELIX COMES”

“ALL OF US? WE WENT EARLIER THOUGH. WAIT, OH LORD YOU TOO? DO YOU NEED WATER? DOES IT MATTER IF MINHO COM-” and you hanged up.

1h later…

not four, not five but about a hundred knocks on your apartment’s door, damn. you stood up from the couch – and yes, thankfully you didn’t feel as bad as earlier but the little dizziness was still there. “comin’!”

your jaw didn’t drop because you were too frozen when you opened the door for it to even move. seven men, standing in your home’s entrance, what could be strange about it? they’ve been there before.

oh well let’s just say that one of them was SUCKING ON HIS FINGER LIKE A LITTLE IPAD KID AT HIS GROWN AGE, HOPE IS CLEAR WHO ARE WE TALKING ABOUT. then minho had a mustache drawn on his face? is this even happening? like are you living or this is just a very high quality dream?

changbin seemed normal but he looked like a teenager being forced to be somewhere they didn’t want to be, and hyunjin was lost in his own world like always, yea those two were clean.

jeongin, oh god poor thing, was struggling to keep the furry squad quiet –he had been doing that since they jumped into the car and before you opened the door– otherwise your neighbors could’ve complained.

you decided to let them in before continuing to analyze their states. “where is he.” you sounded like some mafia boss talking to their hitman when you asked jeongin the question “where is lee motherfucking felix”

“I WANNA GO HOME!” oh yea we forgot to go over the way the rest of the literal kids looked like. seungmin was another victim, the mf looked like he always did, he just had one little problem, lets say the brownies made his voice a little… “OH MY GOD, Y/N, YOU ATE THOSE LITTLE BROWN SPONGES TOO!?” louder. he was literally yelling with his whole soul, like his life depended on it. what the fuck.

the rest were okay; minho, hyunjin, jeongin and jisu- wait “WHERE IS HAN JISUNG” you asked desperately. minho was looking at his nails like some sassy king who clearly didn’t want to be there when he spoke “yea don’t worry about him, let’s say he ate some of the brownies and was too… sleepy. yea too sleepy to come”

“that’s good. i wouldn’t be able to handle him right now, also, why do you have a mustache- you know what never mind”

you sighed in relief. now let’s go back to the main topic, lee felix.

there he was, smiling like a five year old after getting a kiss on the cheek from their crush, his cheeks were flushed and his hair was all ruffled “you, chick. couch. NOW!” you were scolding him like you were his mom LMFAO. you just had to stare at the rest for them to follow felix on his way to the living room.

we’re now presenting the sane team! (aka the ones who didn’t eat the brownies) starting with… yang jeongin, lee minho, seo changbin and hwang hyunjin!!!

and the rest (the ones currently in other galaxy) are… um chan, the puppy, freckles and jisung who didn’t even come, god, imagine if he was here.

“WHO THE FUCK MADE THE BROWNIES?!” you asked while they were sitting in the living room’s sofa.

“JUST FELIX!”

“THE FRECKLED KID MADE THEM YESTERDAY, HE WAS ALONE IN THE KITCHEN, I SAW HIM!”

“don’t know, don’t wanna know” very minho from him.

“ash, it was clearly felix hyung” jeongin was trying to act mature but you could tell he wanted to laugh at the spectacle.

“WHY ARE YALL BLAMING ME?! THIS IS SO UNFAIR!” felix threw himself on the floor as he fake-cried? actually cried? what was that mf on?

“you’re the only one that bakes.”

“…”

“moving on!” you said before being beautifully interrupted by a loud ass puppy.

“Y/N DO YOU HAVE BOARD GAMES? IF SO, LET ME KNOW WHERE THEY ARE”

“just go to my room, there must be a monopoly or something under my bed, TAKE CHAN WITH YOU!” you were happy they were going to be entertained for now. lord save chan’s ears though.

seungmin had to drag chan to your room, he pulled him by one arm while the elder’s cheek was flat against the floor, you could see the line of drool his mouth left on it as the puppy looking guy dragged him. ew.

“ALRIGHT SO, CAN SOMEBODY EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT WAS IN THOSE BROWNIES THAT GOT THESE HOES,” you pointed at chan, seungmin and yourself –even though you were in your mind now– “ACTING ALL WEIRD?”

crickets. fucking crickets bruh.

“NOBODY IS GONNA SNITCH? that’s lowkey cool, aww y’all not fake, BUT I DONT GIVE A FUCK, TALK”

“WHY ME THOUGH, LIKE OKAY I BAKED THEM BUT WHY AM I THE ONE THAT PUT SOMETHING ON THEM?” felix tried to defend himself.

hyunjin snorted “the last time you made lemon pie, FUCKING PIE BRO, i found tooth paste on my slice” this time the boys bursted out of laughter.

“SHUT UP I WANTED IT TO HAVE A FRESH TOUCH”

“MINT AND LEMON AREN’T THE SAME, MY GUY” changbin intervened and jeongin like the good maknae he is didn’t waste time on bullying his elder “my guy? what are you a frat boy?”

“SHUT UP”

“and let’s not forget about the time when i found one of jeongin’s toe nails in one of your cupcakes”

“HYUNJIN WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU.”

“sorry.”

“how do you even know it was mine…”

“UM BECAUSE I LOVE YOU?”

“THAT MAKES NO SENSE?”

“oh wow i see, if you loved me enough you could tell which toe nails are mine too! from far away even! we’re done.”

“these hoes are nasty bye” minho covered his face with one of the sofa’s cushions. the room was filled with the discussing voices of the guys and now you could see felix getting overwhelmed, oh lord what it’s coming.

“WEED!”

it’s the way the room went quiet as the word left the bakery boy’s mouth, everything stopped, is not like you’ve never seen or heard about weed cmon, but felix? felix + weed?

“HUH?”

“PFT HELP” jeongin started laughing like crazy, but when he heard how felix was quiet and seemed embarrassed he stopped. “oh shit, YOU NOT LYING?!”

“i’m so sorry i must’ve mistaken the brownies, i made two trays! and i didn’t decore them or anything so they all looked the same and i was in a rush because i wanted to bring something to share earlier…”

“i knew that it wasn’t me! they were good but lowkey had a weird taste, sorry lix”

minho was hitting hyunjin’s arm with his elbow, knowing that he can’t control his laughter in the worst moments. “don’t laugh bro, don’t laugh. if you laugh i’ll laugh” minho whispered to the boy. if hyunjin were drinking water that shit would’ve already be going out his nose. this duo man.

“I DONT WANT YOU GUYS TO THINK THAT I DID IT ON PURPOSE!” he pouted like a little kid stop it, but you remember he was yk… flying in the air “I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH I COULD NEVER HURT YOU OR ANYTHING I SWEAR”

“I KNOW I KNOW, IT WAS A MISTAKE I LOVE YOU TOO FELIX.” you sighed and there was silence but “BUT YOU CANT JUST PUT WEED IN A DESSERT BABY”

“WHERE DID YOU GET IT FROM? asking for a friend..” minho is such a mood. changbin in the other hand was covering his mouth, he really thought nobody saw his ass giggling.

“why would you even mix that together, ew” hyunjin said as he continued to draw on a napkin, artsy king 4L.

“OKAY I’LL EXPLAIN, STOP ROASTING ME, DAMN”

“i should’ve brought popcorn for this, shaking my head” changbin said and hyunjin smiled, giving him a high five.

jeongin gasped “DID YOU JUST- did you just say… s-shaking my h-head?! AS IN ‘SMH’ LIKE WHAT YOU TYPE IN TEXT? you’re so 2016, couldn’t be me”

“LET FELIX TALK, DAMN!” thank you minho, we love you.

the boy took in a deep ass breath “okay so, jade asked me if i could help her by making some, ahem special brownies because she was throwing a party and-“

“jade who?”

“oh, a friend!”

“you have friends?” MINHO WHY WOULD YOU.

“i’m so done i’m sick and TIRED and SICK AND DONE BYE IM-”

knock! knock!

“ugh, who is it now, i’ll go get it” hyunjin ran to the door before putting his hair on a ponytail “HELP, HELP ME!”

when you heard the screaming, all of you ran to the entrance to find a short silhouette, it was around 9pm now, it was dark outside, cold and lonely. what could a random person be doing by knocking on your door at that time?

the person was giving you their back, you couldn’t see their face nor their body since they were wrapped around what seemed like a blanket or a big ass sweater.

they let out a growl? bark? was this the beginning of a horror comedy?

“you didn’t tell me…” the person said, the man. still facing the other way. his voice was low and deep, not even felix’s sounded that way bro. at this point you could tell hyunjin had peed his pants and the rest were just as scared.

“didn’t tell you what, sir? what are you?” minho said, his voice sounded firm, he wasn’t risking it so he talked properly and with respect.

“you didn’t tell me, that…”

“WHAT PLEASE SPIT IT OUT. DIDN’T TELL YOU WHAT?” felix yelled at the guy while breathing heavily.

all of sudden the man turned around, dropping the blanket that was covering his body, letting you see the tray his hands were holding. the man had a chocolate-stained manic smile on his face? wait…

you couldn’t believe your eyes.

“YOU DIDN’T TELL ME YALL WERE HAVING A SLEEP OVER! HANNIE IN THE HOUSE BABYYYY” the quokka like guy said while doing a lil dance “BY THE WAY! THIS BROWNIES ARE GOOD AS HELL, LIX”

“SHIT”

#stray kids x reader #stray kids imagines #skz x reader #stray kids scenarios #felix x reader #lee felix #felix skz #stray kids #stray kids fluff #skz #felix imagines

[totalfknloser]

perchance some zakk headcanons of him falling for/dating the short chubby girl who likes a lot of pink and pastels and rainbows but still metal like he does? this may or may not be a self insert 😅

YES OH MY GOD UR LITERALLY JUST LIKE ME!! (i’m short and chubby and just like that) also sfw pretty please tell me if u want a smut ver!

.°⛧ .♡. ⛧°.

⛧ Zakk thought he would only stick to one night stands and shit like that but you were perfect to him after you somehow got your way through his strong as steel barrier to his heart.

⛧ he would’ve thought you’d listen to soft stuff like djo or some shit like that but when you said you like metal and listed some of his favorite bands that really did spark something in him and he started taking a slight interest in you.

⛧ once you guys got closer and would start hanging out more that little spark got bigger and more obnoxious every time he saw you.

⛧ sometimes when you guys would hang out you’d either chill at yours or his place together just listening to whatever metal you both liked and talked or whatever and that would happen more often after a while.

⛧ you and Zakk would blow all your money at the record store he originally met Brodie at (yeah i definitely remember the name of the store pshh totally it’s not like i haven’t rewatched this movie in months) and sometimes Brodie would tag along with you which sometimes would make Zakk a tiny bit jealous.

⛧ as you became more comfortable around Zakk you would start to grow a crush on him but of course you unaware he had felt the same but for a way longer period of time.

⛧ eventually Zakk grew somehow bigger balls and finally asked you out and you almost cried with joy while you said yes but of course Zakk still put on a tough face and acted like he barely cared at first.

⛧ you and Zakk would do lots of fun and interesting things together even if he acted like he hated it. for example you’d brush his hair and put bows in it although he’d rather die than go out like that or as i said in past headcanons, let you do his nails but i think the only colors he would let you paint them is silver or black. you’d teach him all about how to care for himself wether it was skincare or something deeper like emotional care which is totally alien to him cause as much as he acts like he doesn’t need to do that much for himself he does.

⛧ the two of you would cuddle on his bed for sure. he would probably be the big spoon or maybe he would just have you lay on top of him. whenever you fell asleep together and you woke up first you would pepper him with kisses on his face, jaw, and neck to wake him up. on the other scenario, zakk would just keep you with him till you were awake even if it meant hours. or maybe he’d fall back asleep with you in his arms.

⛧ you’d get weird looks by being with Zakk. everyone would always think you’d want some like preppy guy who was an all A+ student growing up or something but you want Zakk and only him. he is perfect for you.

⛧ if some guy or anyone ever hit on you or something related the absolute least Zakk would do is spit on them and call them a vulgar insult or something.

⛧ with everyone else Zakk would always be a rough meanie, but he was always sweet, soft, and low with you.

.°⛧ .♡. ⛧°.

this was like super long but i rlly like this idea and it was fun so here u go pls tell me if u want a smut ver or just want more or whatever

#deathgasm #zakk deathgasm

[supercorpkid]

Quarantined.

Supergirl, Kara Danvers x Reader!, Alex Danvers

Word count: 3665.

“Oh, hey Kar.” You look up from your book when you hear a whoosh of air and your hair flies in front of your face. You’re way past being scared by her showing up like this, given the fact she does it all the time.

“Babe, you need to close everything.” Kara says, making you roll your eyes at her. She just got inside your apartment through the window and now is telling you to lock up. 

You finally put your book down, watching her cape flying behind her while she goes around closing the other windows. She doesn’t care if you live on the third floor and leaving the windows open doesn’t really cause you any distress.

“Don’t worry, babe, you’re the only person who usually breaks and enters.” You quip, deciding to keep the mood light with a joke.

She looks at you, brows furrowed, clearly unamused by your joke. “Don’t be funny.” Kara says, coming closer. “There’s a weird virus going around National City. We’re not sure what it is, so I came to check upon you. Please, don’t leave your apartment today.”

“What? What virus? How do you know about it?” You sit up straight, ditching your book to the side. Your face matches the worry in her voice, instantly.

“Some complaints have been going around. People are throwing up, noses are bleeding, and in some extreme cases we saw people fainting on the street.” You open your mouth to yell ‘oh my God’, but Kara comes closer, face easing up when she sees how scared you are. “Hey, hey,” Kara gently cups your face. “You should be safe as long as you stay inside.”

“Yeah, but what about Alex and Lena and –”

“They’ll be fine, my love.” She kneels behind the couch, kisses the crown of your head. “If you need something, or feel anything, you call me and I’ll be here right away, ok?”

“Kar.” You hold her arm before she moves away. She looks back at you, interested. “Be safe out there, ok?” She agrees with her head as a promise. “Keep me posted.”

“You too.” She looks back with pleading eyes. “Babe, I’m serious about the importance of you staying inside, ok? The symptoms are not extreme, but we don’t know what could happen if you’re over-exposed.”

“I won’t leave.” You raise your little finger to touch hers and she smiles and the promise pact you two have.

You started this when you first found out she was Supergirl. Let’s just say you weren’t too thrilled about the fact that she had lied to you for so long that she was both your best friend Kara Danvers and National City’s savior Supergirl. She had her reasons. You know that. You know it was all about protecting you and blah-blah-blah. Still, you didn’t like being lied to, so you two made a pact to never lie to each other again, and to cross fingers when you needed to make a promise.

She intertwines her pinky with yours, kissing your hand right after. “Alright. I’ll be back later to see you.” Kara is about to open the window to fly out when she hears her sister on the comm. 

“Kara.”

“On my way to the Tower, Alex.”

“Where are you right now?”

“Come to check upon Y/N, but she is safe so I’m heading over.”

“Don’t come.”

“What? Why?”

“Kara, the virus is affecting aliens too. Nia has fallen into a deep sleep and we can’t wake her up. Brainy is now a shade of purple –”

“WHAT?”

“And it has affected J’onn and M’gann ability to phase and fly.” Kara starts to whine, but Alex cuts her off. “Listen. It seems that its effect on aliens is worse. I need you to stay put while Lena, Brainy and I lock the Tower and figure this out.”

“But –”

“Sorry, sis. But you’re quarantined until further notice.” You can hear the smile on Alex’s voice when she adds, “have fun with Y/N.” 

You look up to Kara’s pout, and raise your eyebrows at her. “It seems that –” She licks her lips, looking terrified. “We’re stuck here together.”

And you wonder what she is scared of. Maybe she thinks you are going to turn her down? But, it’s not possible, she knows you would never, even if you had a good reason to (which you don’t). 

So you smile at her, trying to ease her mind. Then you settle for a joke, because that’s what you do best when you want to flirt and don’t have the courage to. “There’s one teeny tiny problem.” You force a smile as well while she furrows her brows worried. “I don’t think I have enough food in this apartment to feed a Kryptonian.”

“Oh, don’t worry.” But you see her scanning through your cabinets. “I’ve been wanting to try that new drone delivery. But, who’s got the time, right?”

“Well, apparently we do!” She smiles at that too, but you can tell she’s stressed about not being able to help. “Come,” you call her with your hands so she can sit next to you on the couch. “let’s watch TV.”

Kara changes out of her supersuit and back into her normal clothes, then flops on the couch next to you. She looks up from her lap, a cute confused expression on her face. “You know what I just realized? I only have this to wear. And we don’t know how long we’re stuck here.”

“Oh, yeah. About – About that.” You don’t look at her while you’re saying it. “I may or may not have a few pieces from your wardrobe.”

Kara crosses her arms on her chest, staring at you until you feel compelled to stare at her back. 

“You know, a few pieces you have let me borrow over the years.” You explain while also not explaining a lot.

She raises both of her eyebrows and holds back a smirk. You exhale heavily.

“They’re comfortable, ok? They’re big and comfy and I –” You mumble your next words because they’re hard to admit. “I like your smell.”

This time the smirk comes, and you roll your eyes at her smug face.

“Whatever.” You get up from the couch, and she follows you to the bedroom. “Here’s my Kara drawer. It’s all yours.”

“Tsk tsk tsk.” She pretends with her mouth, and you let out another huff at that. “You let someone inside your life, only to later find out they’re stealing your hoodies and college t-shirts.” She adds, while looking in the drawer. “This is a felony, babe.”

“Alright, you just broke into my house. Chill the hell out, Supergirl.” You say, earning a loud laugh from her. 

You go back to the living room, leaving Kara in your bedroom, still going through all the stuff you stole. Alright, ok, steal is a strong word. You borrowed with a huge time limit to give it back because it brings you comfort. Kara brings you comfort. Her smell and her big strong arms around you, never fail to make your day better. And when you can’t have that, then her big hoodie does the trick. 

You are going through some stuff in your cabinet when you hear a sneeze. You stop whatever you’re doing immediately. You didn’t sneeze. Kara never sneezes. Unless –

You run back to your bedroom, “you sneezed.” you state without letting her open her mouth to argue. “I heard.”

“No, I –” She sneezes again. 

“Oh my God, you’re sick.” You come closer, touching her face. She 's burning up. You look into her eyes to break the news with a sweet voice. “Oh Kar, you’re so hot.”

Kara’s face flushes red, and she gives you a little smile. “You think so? Well, I think – you’re hot too, babe.”

“What?” You furrow your brows, confused. “Your temperature is hot, my love.”

“Oh yes.” She is quick to say, adjusting the glasses on her face, face getting hotter and possibly more red. With that confused face only she can master to look so cute and so endearing, it makes you feel bad for making her think she is not, you know, hot. Which she obviously is. 

You clear your throat, ignoring your wish to say that she is hot in every type of way. “You must be without your powers. Should we check? Can you lift that nightstand with one hand, please?”

“Mhm,” But instead, she lays back on the bed, getting settled. “I’m sure I can, but I’m a little tired right now.”

She obviously doesn’t have her powers. You take the hair out of her face, kiss her forehead softly, earning that precious little smile you love so much. “Why don’t you rest a little?”

Kara agrees, or doesn’t. You’re not sure, but she falls asleep so fast, you think she probably didn’t even hear you.

You text Alex about her condition and she asks you to keep her posted in case of any weird development. And you set off to make her a chicken soup so she can get better. 

“Hey,” comes accompanied by three consecutives sneezes, a whole hour later. “sorry, sorry.” Kara says, noticing how your heart is racing. “Maybe I am a little sick.” She finally admits.

“Couch.” You point with your head, where a warm blanket is already waiting for her. She wraps herself in it, and you bring her the hot soup. “You know I’m not the greatest cook…”

She smirks, knowing this is an understatement, but she doesn’t say so. So thankful you made her something. 

“Chicken soup for my sick –” You bite your tongue to what you truly wanted to say. “ Superhero.” You point at the boiling-almost-green-watery thing you gave her in a bowl. Kara smiles, weak and a little bit scared. 

“I’m so weak.” She fakes, giving the soup back to you. Then she opens her mouth, and you chuckle, knowing exactly what she wants. 

So you feed her, and she compliments you on your weird looking soup, eats until the last drop, then flashes you a big smile. “Now ice-cream.”

“No, you’re not having ice-cream just because you’re sick.” 

Pout.

Blink. Blink. Blink.

She gets ice-cream.

And you get a thankful warm hug, comforting and overwhelming as always. So yeah, she absolutely deserved that ice-cream. Kara throws the blanket over your lap, you get the remote control and you decide together what’s worth binging. 

And day one is over just like that.

The next day she decides to write an article about the virus, and you work for 20 minutes tops, because she is distracting. So fucking distracting.

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing!” Kara puts her hands behind her back and gives you an all-teeth smile. “Just chilling – here. Go back to work, babe.”

1 minute later.

“KARA!” You close your laptop and catch her red-handed. “Put my journal down, or I’ll tackle you. And remember you don’t have your powers yet. You are going down.”

“I’m bored!” You only raise one eyebrow at her, and she huffs, putting the journal back where she found it. “Fine. Then let’s do something fun.” 

“We’re stuck inside this teeny tiny apartment, there’s nothing fun to do here.”

“That’s not true.” She sits in front of you, eyes soft and sweet. “You’re here, and if you give me enough attention I’ll just have the best of time.”

She can’t seriously be this flirty all the time. It’s not even fair. 

Kara starts using your toiletry products, which is a shame. You almost think it is worth going to her house during these turbulent times, to get her shampoo and perfume, so she can smell like herself again. Maybe you are addicted to her smell.

She kisses your cheek for too long every night. And begs you to share the bed with her because she is, cof cof, so terribly sick. Her eyes also shine so bright when she sees you waking up every morning. 

You easily fall into a routine. Too easy. As if you two are just supposed to be doing this ‘living together’ thing anyway.

When you wake up, Kara is already up and breakfast is always done. So you sit and eat together. Then she soaks up sunlight through the closed window and you do yoga. And you repeatedly have the conversation, ‘Kara, stop looking at my butt’, ‘Stop flashing it to me, then’. But you don’t, so she doesn’t either (hey, a girl gotta flirt somehow, ok?).

Then you two spend an awful long amount of time looking up recipes online with the ingredients you have available, before cooking. And when you two are finally done, it comes off a little meh. But you eat it anyway, and have fun doing it every time.

After lunch you both settle on the couch. Kara naps on your lap while you read or work without her distractions. When she wakes up, you watch tv or talk for hours, until she’s hungry again. You both go back to the internet to find something to cook, then give up midway and order something online to be delivered by drone. 

Alex calls after dinner, informs you of the situation out there and reassures you that they are getting closer. She says the same thing everyday, Kara gets hopeful and you think Alex is probably lying to keep her sister well-behaved.

After the entire pre bed routine, she lays next to you, kisses your cheek for a few seconds too long, making you feel hot and alive inside, tells you how lucky she is that you’re stuck inside together and falls asleep. And you obviously stay awake for another hour, thinking about all the ways she flirted with you that day, and how she makes you feel tingly on the inside.

Some nights there’s even more flirting going around. She blames it on her fuzzy sick brain, though she is hardly even sneezing anymore. 

“It’s going to be hard —“ Kara says one night. Doesn’t finish her thoughts, so you have to ask.

“What is?”

“Not sleeping next to you when this whole thing ends.” 

Then she falls asleep and you spend another two hours overthinking what she meant by that, while she lightly snores, hands tangled in yours under the same blanket.

“Alex, please.” You hear her one night, whispering in the bathroom, behind closed doors, as if she is telling a secret you shouldn’t know about. Which only makes you more curious because you’re not supposed to have secrets. “Send the Supergirl exosuit. You know it’s safe. I could go help you guys.” Alex answers on the other side, but you can’t hear her. “Just – I know. Yeah, look I – I can’t stay here anymore, Alex. It's getting too hard.” 

You furrow your brows, confused. Because you were thinking you two had fallen into a peaceful routine.

“It’s so hard being around her all the time. Just send the suit and I’ll go to the Tower to help you guys.” 

Oh.

“Ugh, fine. I hope you’re happy with making my life harder.” 

You bite the inside of your mouth, crushed. Heart shattering into a thousand pieces. Eyes full of tears fighting to come down, while you fight to hold them inside. God, you’re so stupid. You thought Kara liked you. Hell, you even thought she might love you! But all this time, all she wanted was a way out because you’re so hard to be around.

You don’t get it. How does someone who would do anything to make you feel loved and heard, that reminds you everyday how special you are to her, that can’t see herself not sleeping next to you in the future, cannot stand being around you anymore?

Kara leaves the bathroom, finds you face-buried in a book hiding your flushed face, “Hey, there’s a new episode of The Last of Us tonight. Wanna watch it?”

“No, thank you.” You swallow the tears and the lump on your throat. “You – You go.”

“I can’t watch it without you. It’s our show.”

“Oh, we don’t have a show.” You bicker, so mad with the fact that you were being lied to. Again. She promised you she would never do that again. “We don’t have anything. In fact, Kara,” you put your book down, staring at her with red eyes. “Why don’t you go be around someone you can stand, huh?”

“What?” So shocked, like she wasn’t just saying that in the bathroom. It fills you with even more anger.

“Yeah. Get your clothes, and go break into some else’s apartment,” You throw your book to the side of the bed and get up, “ask them to fucking feed you soup while you’re sick –”

“Babe, what are you talking about?” Kara takes a step back, while you take one forward.

“I’m talking about the fact that you are a liar, you coward.” You step into her space, holding the once-hers-once-yours-now-hers-again college t-shirt, into a tight grip. “One night you can’t see yourself sleeping without me and the next one you’re asking Alex for a way out of here.”

“Oh, no, babe, that’s not –”

“You fucking liar. Get the fuck out of my house with or without the exosuit, I don’t care.” But you care, and it is clear that you do, because you’re still holding her tight making it impossible for her to move away, while you sob into her t-shirt. “You’re a coward.”

Kara pulls closer. One hand keeping you inside her hug, the other tangling itself in your hair. "I'm a coward.” She agrees in a whisper. “I am. I am.”

And you can’t believe you’re allowing the woman who just said it’s hard to be around you, to comfort you! And you hate that her hug does that for you, even though she just broke your heart.

“I’m a coward because I can’t –” She steps away, looking at your tear-soaked face. “I can’t tell you why it is so hard for me to be around you.”

“No.” You stop her from moving away, by tightening the grip on her t-shirt. “No, you don’t get to run away! You owe me! You owe me the truth!” You’re crying and she’s crying and maybe you’re yelling too, you’re just not sure anymore. Everything is so quiet, like the world just stopped and held its breath to hear this. To hear her answer. “You owe it to me why you hate me.”

“I don’t hate you.” You almost scoff, but she rushes. “I don’t. I could never. I love you.”

“How can you love me if you can’t even be around me?” You argue, disgusted. “STOP LYING TO ME!”

“I’M NOT LYING!” Kara matches your screaming tone, then realizes what she did, and whispers again. “I’m sorry. I’m – not lying. I love you. I love you so much. More than I should. More than any friend would love the other. I –” She breathes out. Hand aggressively rubbing her forehead, desperate with the confession. 

Kara takes one step forward and then, as if she realizes she is too close to you, takes a step back. “God, I love you since the first time I saw you in that stupid eggplant costume on Halloween. I made a bet with Alex that you were a beanbag, and I lost 5 bucks, but I didn’t care because I got to talk to you. And you made me laugh, and you made my day so much better, and I – I loved you that day. And every day after that. And I loved you with burning passion every time I saw you ever since.”

You blink, so utterly confused. 

“So you wanna know why is it so hard to be around you?” You nod, even though you’re sure she is going to tell you anyway. “Because I’m a coward who can’t tell you how much I’m in love with you.”

You wait a beat. Then two. She doesn’t take back, doesn’t run, doesn’t urge you to say anything. You raise your little finger at her and whisper so low and, at the same time, so loud, in the quiet of the night. “Promise?”

She intertwines her pinky with yours, kissing your hand as a promise right after. And you pull her head so she can kiss you where you want, demand, need her to. 

It’s lips crashing and ‘I love you’s in breathless, hungry, truthful whispers. Then another kiss, and another I love you for good measure. I’ve always loved you. I’ll always love you. Mouths and hands and body parts, so keen and passionate and yours. All yours.

The easily set routine just becomes easier. Kisses during breakfast; sun and yoga and ‘oh wow, look at your butt babe’; laughing while making lunch; make out sessions between movies; slow dancing in the kitchen floor; shared pre bed routine; making love and feeling love and growing love; sleeping at the same time without having to overthink anything because it is, finally, all crystal clear.

When Alex says you can leave the apartment, that the air is finally clean and everything is fine, you smile when you think that the air has been clean and life has been more than fine for you for days.

You and Kara make way to the Tower to meet your friends and see if they’re all ok.

“So what happened while we were quarantined?” Kara inquiries. “How did you guys figure this out?”

“We just switched up the isotope to make the virus inert. But I do have to admit, it took us more time than it should’ve.” Alex says, looking at you and Kara with a soft smile. “I hope it wasn’t too much of a problem staying stuck in a small apartment with each other for a week.”

You and Kara stare at each other, secrets welling up and love overflowing, before shrugging. “T’was fine.”

#supergirl fanfiction #kara danvers #kara x reader #kara zor el #supergirl #alex danvers #reader insert

[imdoingsortagay]

Can you please write Agatha x female reader who has been having terrible migraines and nothing works except for sleep and Agatha using her magic to sooth reader's brain?

Migraines and Magic

Warnings: Mentions of her coven ( brief), Lil gay activity, cute pet names, use of magic, work, fluff

a/n: god I love Agatha

word count: 1.1k words

Reblogs, comments, and likes are appreciated! happy reading besties!

From the moment that you met Agatha that one day in Westview, something about her magic always drew you to the older woman. Some would assume that the brunette had used her magic to somehow seduce you into being in a committed relationship with her but it always shocks people to hear the story about how the relationship blossomed into something so beautiful. 

Everyone in the neighborhood was used to Agatha practicing her magic in her house, with the garage open for the fun of it. Some people would stop by for a couple of seconds before moving into whatever plans they had but she was shocked to see you just watching in awe. It was something that you’ve never seen, which is a bit weird to say living in a world where aliens exist. 

“ I don’t bite darling,” you hear the woman from the garage yell,” how about you come over so I can show you some of my skills?” 

While Agatha just stares at you, she notices that you’re deciding whether to come into the garage or not. It’s not like she’s gonna do anything to you.  If you yell loud enough there’s got to be someone in the houses next door to hear you. 

“ Promise not to use your magic to harm me ? “ you ask which makes the woman chuckle. 

“ Only if you don’t annoy me”, she jokes. 

And as they say, the rest was history. 

At that moment, Agatha had taken a liking to you, there was something about you that made her so interested to be near you. Though the brunette wanted to go the quick route and schmooze you, she decided to take it slow with you and it was the best choice that she made. 

3 years later, both of you were living in the same house that you met, happily married to each other, with a son ( who’s Agatha’s pet bunny cause yes ). It was heaven for the both of you but there was one thing that was always not fun to deal with. 

Your migraines. 

About 6 months after the both of you met, the older woman offered up her home office as a space for you to do your meeting while your roommate had family over. After a grueling meeting with some stubborn coworkers who didn’t want to listen and your body betrayed you when you feel a migraine coming. Lucky for you for always planning, this was something you knew how to deal with but Agatha always felt a little bad for you. She wanted to help her loved one out but being a stubborn person, she was always assured by you that it was fine. 

It was around the holidays which meant that you would be stressed trying to make all of your deadlines while all your girlfriend could do was offer up any sort of help to be a stress relief. Time and time again, you told you that it was fine so Agatha chose to clean a bit for the time being til you were done. 

A couple of hours go by, the house is all clean and Agatha could hear whining from your shared bedroom. She was unsure what was going on with you, one side of her wanted to leave you be but it was best to check up on you in case anything happen. 

“ How’s my little superstar doing ? “ she gently asks as she opens the door to see a heartbreaking scene. 

You had all been under the bedroom sheets, and pillows as well around you. Curtains closed so as to not let any of the light in as you were experiencing a bad migraine and while sleep usually helps with it, this time around it just didn’t seem to work for you. All you wanted was the dumb migraine to go away and it made you cry which almost made your girlfriend cry as well at the scene before her.

Using all of her experience of hiding, the older woman quietly makes her way to the bed, careful to not make any noise to alert you. Once she makes it under the sheets, Agatha scoops you up into her arms to comfort you and you jump in surprise not noticing that she made her way into the room. 

“ How’s my little love bug doing? “ she whispers and she gets a whine back in response. 

“ y/n, can you be a good girl for me and use your words? I wanna be able to help my darling out,” she pleads quietly to you and you slowly get up from her chest even though you don’t want to. 

“ It’s my head, fucking migraine,” you whisper back to her and immediately go back to laying your head on her chest to see if that helps you out for a bit. A temporary solution at this moment is so much better than nothing. 

“ oh my sweet y/n,” Agatha starts,” Is there anything i can do to help you? Whatever you need me to do and I’m happy to do it?” 

“ Can you use your magic to sooth me?” you sleepily tell her while Agatha is stunned to hear that her girlfriend wants her magic to help in the moment. Sure she had used her magic to do the chores in the house, sometimes even cook if you were in a clingy mood and whatnot but you never had asked the witch to use it on you. There was something in her mind that feared accidentally harming you if the spell went wrong and she would never forgive herself if anything happened to you. Not after the harm, she caused to her coven all those years ago and the harm she caused to her Coven mother. 

“ Honey are you sure ? i don’t want to - “ 

“ Aggie please, “ you mumble as you shove your face into her chest,” I know about your past and i trust you with all my being not to hurt me, please help me, baby’. 

At that moment, Agatha gets her spell book from the nightstand on her bed in her hand quickly, skimming through the pages of spells she learned over the year to see which would be the best one to use in that moment. Didn’t take long before she found one to soothe you. The book is quickly put back in its designated spot in the nightstand and she gets a bit comfier to be able to use her magic on you. 

“ This isn’t going to hurt you, my love, just please remember to tell me if it does,” she warns before enacting the spell. The moment that her fingers hit your forehead, you feel relief from the terrible migraine, cuddling harder into your lovely partner for helping you out. 

“ Love you aggie,” you mumble before drifting to sleep in your arms while the older woman continues her spell on you, tearing up a bit to see that after all these years, her magic didn’t hurt someone that she loved. 

“ I love you too my sweet superstar”.

#agatha harkness imagine #agatha harkness #agatha harkness x reader #agatha harkness fluff #wandavision #lizs writing #liz requests #mcu imagine #wandavision imagine #marvel insert fics #marvel fanfiction #kathryn hahn x reader #kathryn hahn imagine

[abimee]

so tbh i was hard on nier:a while playing it cos i don't really like a lot of the anime tropes BUT i really like tragedies and i was promised some twists, and got some. but i wanted to ask you how you felt about the pacing. basically, did it feel like there was a solid line connecting plot points, or do you feel like certain things happened at random? barring the fact that yoko taro said he literally wrote the story out of order, is that how it felt to you? imo it felt really rushed through super cool parts and like things that were annoying or setpieces ran on for too long. ig i'm still fked up over how much it fell short of my expectations bc even after playing nier:a completely thru and h8ing how absurdly film-student its tone and ideology are, i was hyperfixated enough to read some of the side literature and learn drakengard lore. tl;dr, nier:a is cool and has some fun parts but i wish the android were more mature (or artificial) in physicalilty to avoid weird anime loli baiting in the fans and also they'd asked a writer to help revise and implement the og author's ideas okay bye thx for reading my rant ♡ i'm glad u had fun and ur fanart abt a2 and the indoor grill made me cough

ill gladly listen to people bitch about yoko taro ive had PROBLEMS with this man since a young age ☝️☝️☝️☝️

I was actually thinking about the pacing and insertion of certain scenes/plot points today because admittedly like. okay this might be all over the place but

The start of the game (Route A + B) was like pretty solid pacing I think due to being low risk, and I thought it was cool that the game let you see 9S' side of things --- but it really started to fumble when it got into it's moe complex storylines in C-D-E and went on to deposit a lot of information on it to the point where it felt like we were forgetting entire plots and characters because something new and shiny showed up

Like okay first off. Adam and Eve and the aliens. We never once got any sort of explanation WHY adam + eve killed the aliens, or why the aliens made the machines, but within that general thought we did learn that humans died before going to the moon (and possibly even before the aliens came?), and that YoRHa's only goal was to fight the machines until a specified amount of data was gotten and then they were to explode. Never did we get more elaboration on the aliens or adam/eve, and while we got some YoRHA spotlight stuff it also entirely just decided that explaining the true mission behind making YoRHa and why the androids had to die is beyond it. Which frustrated me because it Brings Up Ideas but doesn't specify if thats the true reason, like we learned that the machines fight purely because that was there sole reason, and so they made an enemy for themselves purely to enact that goal that the aliens gave --- but then it even goes ''haha okay but hear me out'' and introduces Red Girl and this vague idea of the Machine Ego and wanting to defy their masters of the aliens, but then DOESN'T ELABORATE WHY. Like we don't know WHY adam and eve and the machine ego wanted to develop enough to defy their machine logic and purpose because it wraps back around to ''theyre human just like us because they want to defy their masters because.... they're human like us?"

Like it often felt like some concepts or plots brought up walked itself in a circle, dog-chasing-tail style, where it's entirely contained within itself and refuses to expand upon it's existence, which then causes it to get sort of left behind when the plot finds a new fancy idea to latch onto. Like how quickly the story introduced, focused on, then discarded Adam & Eve is almost criminal because of the things it could've done with them literally as the closest approximation to what the Machine Ego/Red Girls wanted, since they defied their creator's orders to be their own selves. Eve especially feels wasted in this regard --- like if the plot spent a little more time focusing on Eve & Adam in a B-plot scenario showing Eve and Adam learning more from humans and even leaning into Eve's wants that we saw in his mind when 9S hacked him (the human home built around him and his brother, and his brother wanting to go somewhere peaceful with him). Like they even could've tied that to when they get on the Ark and leave and Adam is holding Eve, that's literally Adam bringing Eve somewhere peaceful, but because those two instances are so seperated from each other and their own sort of throw-away concepts it becomes hard to Remember the tether between those two thoughts

This is also my biggest problem with A2's writing, I can only assume she's meant to be a Kaine-type character (and boy did my eyes momentarily widen seeing Emil say ''it must be fate that we've met!" to her) where her reserved nature and somewhat limited character blends in with her personality, but they really could've just given us like at least 2 more hours-game to learn about her past rather than just infodump us with her lore in some logs at the Resistance Camp. This is another problem Red Girl had where I feel like the fact you get unit data on them that basically explains away the confusing parts of their involvement in the lore felt cheap because this game has over 40+ hours under it's belt but couldn't be damned to give us information on our main antagonist directly in the game instead of in a post-credit LOG?

Like okay. I love my baby boy emil. He is the most special boy in the world to me and I am so happy seeing him get a pretty decent character arc for himself in the sequel to his original iteration. But why do we learn information about Emil more easily than the Red Girls? No unit data paragraph, no document information to read, no external book needing to be sourced. You learn whats up with him, why his big event out in the desert happens, and how it ends. You even get TWO special areas involving him. Red Girl gets to speak for a little bit and then vanish. It just astonishes me a bit

And it's not like the game doesn't try to expand characters last-minute either, that entire cutscene where Pascal reads Nietszche and then gets surrounded by the baby machines before the events of the Factory/suicide felt so forced in suddenly that it felt rather obvious something was going to happen. And I say this as someone who was in tears seeing Pascal get called ''uncle Pascal'' and see him defend the children in the factory --- it was super obvious that they possibly didn't originally plan that scene but needed something to really show that Village acted just like a human community with children and babysitters and family. Like not to be like ''this couldve been something beautiful'' but i think giving us a little time between A2 and the Village more could've done something beautiful. A2 getting the necessities to build the slide definitely made me drop to my knees but I noticed even the LPer was confused why A2 had a crying child inside of her as her enemy at the end of the hacking (like how 9S had 2B at the end of his destroying his memories), but the game didn't do anything with that besides lightly imply A2 lets down her mean bit for children sometimes (and again. why is this Kaine behavior). And then the fucking laughing children sound at the end of the route where she hacks 9S and she looks to the sky like ? This is all very interesting but it doesnt mean anything.

NOT TO MENTION 2B BEING AN EXECUTIONER TYPE. COOL CONCEPT BUT IT DOESNT MEAN ANYTHING IN THE END. It's just another thing to tack onto 9S's migraine of learning everything is a lie but nothing gets DONE with that incredibly interesting though afterwards because we never see 2B after that because she's been dead for a while now. We had a brief hint at it when we heard that transmission of 2B being her new name but the payoff just doesn't work if you just state it and then not do anything with it.

There's many cases of this and I notice it with how much questions I have that simply have no answer in this game despite the fact we have nearly 5 routes worth of time that could've gone into either sticking to like 3 ideas to the end or bridging the gaps, Which the story Does Do Sometimes! Red Girl talking about fucking up its own network to make pacifistic machines that want nothing to do with the war, the lie of YoRHA

OH MY GOD ALSO. SPEAKING OF RANDOMLY PUSHING STUFF IN. OPERATOR 210. The fact that they wanted to pull the whole ''she was curt and distant with 9S but secretly saw him as like a son because she wanted a family :(" could've gone INSANE if they didn't decide they wanted to bring that idea in at the last possible second and make 210 randomly baby 9S (and then make him point out how strange she's acting), and then ignore that until we get to the cutscene that they wanted to make for it. Like they could've had 210 start out as curt and distant, but as 9S operations with 2B got more dangerous she could've started laying on the doting mother thing, but it just came so abruptly in Route.....C? That it felt forced and rather last-minute, like they finished writing A and B and someone walked in and went ''wait I want 210 to see 9S as her son :(" and this is how they crammed it in

oh this post isnt even about the pacing i'm just talking about dead end plot concepts. But I can definitely see where you're coming from there because we spent an awfully long time with the Resistance only to know so little about them, but it defos felt more ''a lot of stuff is getting brought up but we dont have enough time to give it developing room because we want to bring in the next concept asap". A2, the forest king, Red Girl, hell even Pascal and Adam & Eve all suffer this. the only person who really got a steady character Was 2B and 9S but 2B felt like she got cut short and just became a puppet for 9S' plot which is so tiring how often we get dual man/woman protags and the woman's story just becomes part of the man's story and she becomes a nebulous concept. that yoko taro brand Misogyny

I SPENT AN HOUR TYPING THIS? I haven't even gotten to how I feel like 9S' plot feels like it was destined for something more but got bottlenecked for time and cut off at the like 80% mark

I can definitely feel that though of feeling like Nier:a didn't meet expectations, when I finished all the routes and the playlist i was watching just Ended I genuinely sat up and bed and just felt a deep sense of ''THAT'S IT? THATS ALL?"

it's crazy too because I really, REALLY loved what it had going and im going to be thinking about this game forever but it also just left me feeling like i'm missing something so badly that when I try to think about it sometimes my mind just draws blanks like im left speechless at it.

Like that was nier: automata? that was just 40 hours of being asked what it means to be alive

#im not even gonna talk about what it tries to say philosophically because i can see its trying to say some stuff #but it sometimes get drowned out with the incessant need to do what mr taro games do and just make shit feel bad #and i love tragedies. but it can be heavyhanded when done by his devs sometimes #AGAIN THIS ISNT ME SAYING THE GAMES BAD. I LOVED IT A LOT BUT MAN. WHAT THE HELL

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

"tavern/grendel/hercules" sounds absolutely fascinating and I think I will have to read it even though I don't go here

May I ask why both "grendel" and "hercules", since they're from different mythologies?

Olim sudor Herculis (Latin) - Carmina Burana // Beowulf trans. Seamus Heaney (Old English)

okay, so. this isn't really fully based on either of these things. so much as i am rotating them in my brain as i'm writing something. "olim sudor herculis" is a latin drinking song of sorts from Ye Olde Times (this is the version i listen to lol. unironically i love this song. i originally heard it in a class about medieval history and stuff, but like. i literally listen to it for fun. it's part of what inspired this fic, because i was listening to it for fun. ...i probably have weird taste) and the lyrics when translated are about like, love ruins glory, a lover can't be a hero because they're unable to resist their heart and/or sexual desires, and that even the strongest men like hercules can be made fools by it--the only way to win against love is to not have it, and run away from it. which is. lmao. anyway, there's a little more to it than that, but that's the basic kinda run down. and it's really less that the fic is based on that (although i'm thinking about this as a flawed, old perspective--that the only way to not lose to love is to run from it, and then spinning what the song presents as negative--A lover has no regret for wasted time, / But stupidly and pointlessly toils at Venus' comand--as like. the time isn't wasted, the work is worth it, do not run from it--idk that's all just vibes rn) so much as the whole thing has that Medieval Vibe and all which helps lend to the atmosphere for the fic and get me in The Mood as i'm writing hence i listen to it on loop while writing it. so there's the "hercules" part.

grendel is also more metaphorical/below the surface as i'm writing than literal, because the fic is going to deal with loneliness and like. a pretty obvious (not the only, but not a reach either) interpretation of why grendel attacks in the first place is loneliness, feeling like an outsider, being an outsider--obviously, it's not so simple as that, as grendel is a literal monster, but the question of monsterhood and what makes a monster, how we relate to monsters for their loneliness and their bodies and their alienation and their rage and boundless emotion and "disgusting" nature, etc, really comes into play. but like it literally says that like, what harrows grendel is the "hall-joys", the joy and celebration and laughter, the community he is irreparably separate from?? you know?? and that can be interpreted a lot of ways--the extreme version of your neighbor who keeps having loud parties at 3 am and the dorm walls are so thin and you're about ready to rip their arms off? sure. the deep and piercing loneliness of hearing other people laugh and have fun and love each other and be a community knowing that not only are you explicitly not welcome but that you will probably never find that ever? (grendel's mother loved him, was willing to rend people limb from limb for him, but did she like him? did they spend time together? did she kill for him out of the love of a mother, one might call obligatory or biological? did she kill for him out of honor, the bloody cycle the whole fucking epic is about? did they love each other? how alone were they? does it matter, when in the end, they both die alone?) yeah also valid! or the more textual interpretation that grendel's just eeeevil and mean and hates all things good and holy and light and wants to kill it just for the sake of killing it? etc. anyway the point is i have a lot of feelings about monsters and loneliness and beowulf is about cycles and monsters and cause and effect and blood and honor and heroes and the end.

ALL OF THIS however is mostly just vibes that im rotating while writing a much smaller fic which is really more about trent and friendship and loneliness, set in a fantasy tavern setting lol

#dont take my word at all this im not double checking any research at the moment just. talking out my ass from memory #but i have a lot of feelings about a lot of mythology and folklore #ANYWAY im a nerd. im a big nerd #askbox #gertspeak #also the olim sudor herculis english translation didnt have a translators name attached :( #anyway this all just rambling. right now this fic is 90 percent vibes #i do have a plot in mind but i dont want to describe it bc it's short enough in describing it that would probably basically be the fic lmao #honestly though i might just incorporate a bunch of these pretentious literary references anyway #just bc i want to #youre welcome to read it!!!

[vamptastic]

spoilers ahead if you haven't listened to wolf 359 and you like scifi and/or story podcasts (or if you don't wanna read a long analysis post) PLEASE go watch it and ignore the rest of the post. its so so so good i promise.

so ive been re-listening to wolf 359 for probably the fifth time on my weird old outdated patched version of spotify. and spotify does this weird thing where if you play something else, then come back to a podcast ep you're not finished with it goes back a minute or so, presumably to help you remember what was going on. and i usually skip the last few minutes of each ep when the barrage of ads starts. which means that as i go back and listen to it for the nth time, if i forget to manually skip to the next episode, each episode starts by playing the last minute or so of the ep until i find my phone and rewind.

and its actually been a shockingly fun way to relisten, especially as the show goes further and further from silly goofy space hijinks to serious suspenseful drama (with occasional hijinks). i'm just struck by how purposeful each episode is later on in the show (and earlier, but the episodes get more...purposeful as the plot starts reaching its climax). there's exceptions, obviously, but the general structure is half the characters doing something silly, while the other half do something important and serious, and the two contrast each other. and even though the two situations seem disparate and tonally opposite at first, they always end up being more of a parallel than a foil by the end. usually, this kind of dawns me in an "oh, that's what the point of this episode was" moment brought on by the last few minutes of the episode.

one of my favorite episodes, ep 34 "a matter of perspective" is a great example. half the crew is trying to restore the signal for alien transmissions, the other half is playing a terrible board game. this is also in the pivotal part of the show before our evil corporate overlords show up where we're getting to know jacobi, maxwell, and keppler in a relatively short period of time compared to the rest of the cast, and i'm always impressed by how fleshed out they were when they got a lot less screentime.

anyway the contrast here is really interesting. keppler is demanding the impossible from eiffel, and the rest of the crew sans jacobi are trying to win an impossible game (the accursed funzo). at the end of the episode, jacobi explains why keppler is doing what he's doing (side note: the whole military "demand the impossible from your subordinates" thing is so insane), and keppler remembers the end to his joke: the pig, despite its usefulness, despite the fact that it does fucking taxes, is still being eaten. slowly but surely. it's such good insight into kepplers character its such good writing! he is a corporate slave who doesn't realize it, he is a deeply talented man who is letting his entire life be consumed by people who do not care about him and his wants and needs and happiness for a cause he will eventually learn is abjectly evil. meanwhile, maxwell, hera, lovelace, and minkowski finish their game of funzo by collectively losing after playing for 10 hours. they are also pouring time and energy into something pointless! everybody loses!

anyway the reason i even mention the whole spotify rewinding thing is that i never really noticed the point of this episode until i listened to the end of the pig joke first. which is probably on me, the metaphor is really obvious in hindsight, but up until now i just thought of the funzo part of the episode as haha silly board game time. having the thesis of the episode presented first is making me realize how genius the writing was in episodes i previously didn't get. i think the entire show is kinda like this, i could listen to it an endless number of times because each and every episode has some kind of double meaning that isn't always initially obvious, especially when you go in blind not knowing that things are getting serious.

the only other work i've read so far that does something similar is probably house of leaves, which is designed to make you read it over and over and search for meaning and has 3+ plots occurring at any given moment. i'm just really struck by how masterful the writing in wolf 359 is that it can achieve a similar feat without the meta elements, nebulous plot, and multiple narrators that house of leaves has.

short version: i think it's really fucking cool how the end of each wolf 359 episode presents the thesis of the episode in a non-obvious way, and listening to the series while having the last few minutes presented first is helping me understand what episodes i didn't previously appreciate were trying to get across. wolf 359 is really fucking good, basically.

#i just really love it when something can be reread and each new reread is more enjoyable and lets you notice new things #feeds my need to overanalyze everything #anyway sorry to uhh all my mutuals and also w359 fans who dont wanna read all that #in my defense. i have adhd. #wolf 359

[most-definitively-a-human]

Question. Is this medium support needs

Feel alienated from lots of online autistic creators. Focus on social struggle and work and masking. Personally talk to people online without masking much, don't work because I can't, seem to make friends easily but don't understand social cues (I just operate on the assumption that people are well intentioned and also that everyone is an individual so what is most kind and respectful to them varies so listen to them and get to know them well and this seems to have worked very well?)

Just. Have issues I have not seen people talk about. Understand why since it is difficult to articulate if you have a brain similar to mine so that is why I don't see things I relate to that often.

Examples: if I get stressed and can't do a hobby for a while, hobby often gets stressful. I haven't watched anything on TV for a month so now I am panicked at the idea of finishing watching Arcane. No longer relaxing. Have to put in effort to keep fun things fun.

Other example: am sound sensitive to the point where the sound of my breathing can distress me so I wear noise cancelling headphones inside of my flat which is usually on the quiet side because I need to.

Other: bad sounds cause me to freeze and I cannot move voluntarily if they last long enough. I wanted to go the park to escape construction work but I couldn't change clothes and just lay on the floor in a weird position.

Other: obvious concepts just do not appear to me. I have a bad memory so can't give obvious examples. I schedule delivery and it needs to be fifty pounds to avoid surcharge. This means I run out of fresh stuff before I run out of food. For years I just ran out of food and my solution was buy frozen veg to have fresh-ish things and never once did I think about going to a nearby store as a feasible option even when I was aware it existed. Things can exist but I do not really understand or take note of them.

Most of the time it feels like I'm just borrowing concepts from when I was coherent and doing my best with a mind that doesn't understand what it understood an hour ago. Very frustrating.

Really hope I can finish my book with Asran in it. (Semiverbal and autistic, some experiences similar, nice to have a protagonist not completely alien and always a challenge to write like the others.) Hopefully would make people feel less alone in the world.

Just. Thoughts individually coherent but no connection no flow and even then often chaotic and not individually coherent? Annoyed.

Does this sound like medium support needs? Seem to relate to medium support needs people most but don't want to use a term before I'm sure it's accurate.

Usually don't share thoughts when like this which is most of the time. Usually only talk when coherent. Or just share short snippets/scripts.

If you read this far thank you for reading hope you have a wonderful day. The wonderful day wishes also apply to you even if you did not read all of it as it is rather a lot.

Too tired to edit. Love you have a great day

#askingautistics #very curious to know #advice and analysis appreciated #have a good day all

[angevon]

podcasts I'm listening to (and not)

In 2023, I began to listen to lots of podcasts during my daily commute. Here’s a list of the ones currently in my queue. I’ve found I tend to prefer fun stories and comedy.

Murphy’s Inc. - this is about a company that owns a Time Machine and uses it to go back in time to find items for wealthy clients. The first season they’re trying to find an amulet owned by Erik the Red. My main complaint is the characters don’t seem to like each other much which detracts from the overall vibe, but it seems wholesome overall  and I'm enjoying it.

Mission to Zyxx - a sci-fi story about a misfit team going on diplomatic missions to weird planets. It's improv and there’s a big focus on special guests for each episode which never lands or works for me personally, but I love the main cast and their interactions continue to be entertaining even in season 4 where I'm at now.

No Such Thing As a Fish - a comedy podcast where people from qi.com talk about fun facts they learned during research for their other shows. 

The Mansfield Mysteries - a high-class mom and daughter duo solve murder mysteries among the upper crust of their hometown. There is a focus on distinct character voices which is hit or miss tbh.

Welcome to Night Vale - my favorite podcast of the bunch. It’s difficult to explain Night Vale, you kind of have to experience it. Essentially, a radio host talks about the news in Night Vale, but it’s always things we would consider unusual. Like, a sentient glowing cloud going over the town and dropping dead animals all over everything. A football player at the high school grew a second head. Things like that. The storytelling is well done, and the stories develop so naturally, it’s very fun to listen to it all play out. And the music direction is wonderful too. 

Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet - a comedy podcast where the hosts find funny reviews to read in a dramatic way. Just mindless fun.

Stellar Firma - A comedy sci-fi about a firm that designs and builds planets for wealthy clients. It stars Trexel Geistman, who is a self-absorbed drunk who never comes to work on time, and his long-suffering assistant, clone David 7. David 7's survival depends on the success of their designs but Trexel always has horrible and outlandish ideas. So it's kind of about how David 7 slowly grows into the role and begins to manipulate Trexel into doing better. ...Kind of.

Inn Between - short episodes about a team of adventurers, and, well, their adventures in a fantasy world. I normally don't enjoy 4th wall breakage but here it's harmless fun. I like Betty the most.

Hey Riddle Riddle - a trio of comedians go through riddle books and come up with better answers and make fun of the riddles

DUST: Chrysalis - after the apocalypse caused by an alien invasion, only one human survives. He manages to combine himself with machinery with one goal: revenge.

Mysterious Universe - two guys talk about conspiracy theories and paranormal experiences. Captivating storytelling more than anything, whether any of it's true or not never crosses my mind tbh

Finished listening to!

EOS 10 - wonderful podcast, it has a rough start but I really enjoyed it. It's about a newbie doctor assigned to space station EOS 10 and the quirky cast of characters he meets there. It does have an overarching plot but the focus is mostly the rapport between the characters, they really work well together.

The protagonist reminds me of Pleck in Mission to Zyxx and his boss reminds me of Trexel in Stellar Firma. 

 Here are some I've dropped and why.

Sidequesting - I really loved this one! It features an ace wanderer in a fantasy world, helping people whenever they can, and has a lot of queer rep. But the last few episodes in my queue focused too hard on crossovers with other podcasts and made them... not fun... so I lost interest. 

Wolf359 - This one's popular and often recommended to anyone looking for sci fi. Eiffel was really funny and plot-building was an enjoyable slow burn. However, about half-way through it dropped all the humor for total seriousness which is not what I listened to this for, so I dropped it. 

Radiation World - I just didn't like it.

Hello From The Magic Tavern - something rubbed me the wrong way in this one, even though one of the characters is the creator of Hey Riddle Riddle. I think it might've been one-too-many improv podcasts and I was tired of the format after Zyxx. I may return to this at some point, maybe when I finish Zyxx.

Pod to Pluto - while it wasn't bad or anything, my heart goes out too much to the protagonist for me to enjoy it. 

The Mysterious Secrets of Uncle Bertie's Botanarium - the protagonist is an asshole and that's the point, but there was dismemberment humor in ep 2 and I just can't.

The Amelia Project - love the idea (an organization that you pay to fake your death in a dramatic way) but it's already 4th wall breaking in episode 9 I guess they're already out of ideas ... ?😅

ARS Paradoxica - too overdramatic, the dialogue where person a says something, person b repeats it as a question, person a repeats it again, it's just too boring!!! I wish podcasts would Stop Doing That. Wolf359 did it a lot too which is another reason I don't feel bad dropping it.

Rabbits - it's meant to be interactive and I'm way too lazy for that. I listen to these while driving, you know?

Ghosts in the Burbs - not bad, but it was pandering so blatantly to suburban moms that I could not relate at all 😂

#angevon's posts #podcasts #2023 podcasts list

[ab-arts]

I finished the game a few hours ago, still almost doesn’t feel real skndjsjs

But HOLY FUCK it was amazing!!

Of course I have my nitpicks but overall I give it a solid 9/10! Wish my shit ass computer would’ve given me more than 3-5 fps sometimes (not exaggerating)

Some rambles regarding the game below, nothing coherent or an official review just some thoughts:

Alright so first of all HOLY SHIT THE GRAPHICS, GOREGOUS

SOUND DESIGN, INCREDIBLE

MUSIC, AMAZING

Even the very beginning of the game I was on edge, the atmosphere the game gave was immaculate

Once again wish I hadn’t been lagging so bad I was constantly faceplanting into walls XD

All the mirrors in the game actually worked!! Idk why that amazed me so much but it did

Audreeeey, omg I love her, I love her so much,,

She reacts to things! She’s dynamic she’s alive!! Henry I love you too but please man you’re a little bland considering the horrors around you dhdjdh—but ooh I love her and her personality,, there’s some parts I wished she’d reacted to more n had more lines but mostly I just really loved listening to her talk,,,

SPEAKING OF HENRY, HENRY HAS A CANON DESIGN NOW!! NEAT! Still keeping my own the same though cuz I like it better jdndjdh

ALSO JOEY WAS THERE TOO—he was so fascinating?? Like..he wasn’t this evil guy, he regretted what he did? And he and Allison were friends I think? And he helped Audrey? AND OH MY GOD THE REVEAL THAT HE MADE HER IN THE REAL WORLD?? I was blown away honestly. And omfg my design for Joey had a Bendy pin and GUESS WHAT CANON JOEY HAD

A BENDY PIN

I WIN AT PREDICTING THINGS NSJDNDJ

OH OH GOD AND THE INK DEMON, HE TALKS??? HE TALKS SCARY????? HIS VOICE IS SO FUCKING COOL AND TERRIFYING??? SCARED THE SHIT OUTTA ME??? HOLY FUCK

His design is a little weird for me tho? Like it’s cool and absolutely is scary, I’m just not fond of his face?? His teeth?? That’s not a smile that’s just teeth, he gotta have a smile, turn up the corners of his mouth plz

Also was not very thrilled by the mechanic where you have to hide from him, except he’s not even there and it’s just a countdown to insta-death? I was hoping to actually get hunted by him and have to stealth, Alien: Isolation style. The mechanic also annoyed me in another way cuz it usually caused a lag spike aaaand it’s hard to hurry and find a hiding spot when you have 3 fps and keep running into walls, though that was caused by my shit computer, not the game itself, so it gets a pass. Still would’ve preferred getting hunted by the Ink Demon though

Also can we talk about whatever the FUCK the Keepers were?? Those things were CREEPY like, EIEHGHHG WHAT THE HELL, the way they TALKED dear god

They don’t even have legs they just SLITHER AROUND

The Lurker was funky but I don’t have too many thoughts about it itself, more about the LONG ASS SIDE QUEST you can do for it that I didn’t know was OPTIONAL

I had to go all the way back up to the fuckin Animation Ally and oh my god the amounts of times I died, the many times the map broke or the one time it just wasn’t there at all (once again I blame my computer), the time in a fight in which it was lagging so bad it nearly crashed and the audio was freaking out, and what do I get after all that? A FUCKIN SCHEMATIC AND SOME COLLECTABLES

EAT MY ASS, LURKER

Allison omg, I loved her in this- I only wished she showed up more, she was a delight and I really wanted her and Audrey to become friends. Tom was there too but I don’t really care about him kdndjjd

ALICE THO, GOD what a return, and it was SPECTACULAR. The riddle (that was fun to solve, and not stupid hard like some of the other fuckin puzzles I hate puzzles I suck at them), the fucking ELECTRIC CHAIR she put Audrey on, HAVING A GUN??? THE WHOLE OH SO TENDER SCENE BETWEEN HER AND ALLISON,,,?? God I have feelings

Wilson is..hard to describe cuz honestly I didn’t know what to make of him? Like the beginning scene with him in the elevator was very ew creepy please stop, I could just feel Audrey’s discomfort, and obviously the whole turning on the ink machine (I was so obsessed with the gathering ritual items for the pedestals parallel) and murdering himself and Audrey scene was a big red flag, and ofc the creepy ass posters and lying and just having dictator-y but distant vibes, but later on he kind of seemed like he had decent motives?? Idk..but OH IT WAS A TRICK, A TRICKY TRICK—HE TRIED TO TURN AUDREY INTO HIS OC

It was sooo funny to watch that scene play out and Wilson starts dragging her toward that machine, and I was just going like “push him in push him in push him in” and then she DID and I was like YEEEAH

And OH MY GOD WHAT HE BECAME, NO EXAGGERATION IT WAS SCARIER THAN THE INK DEMON LIKE WHAT THE FUUUCK

I’m not sure which is scarier though, that thing whatever it’s called or the fuckin SPIDER THINGS WITH TEETH

Oh my GOD I hated those so much, ESPECIALLY THE BIG ONE

I think I was either lagging too much of never got killed directly by it to see it, but aPPARENTLY IT HAS A DISTURBING DEATH SCENE WHERE IT EATS AUDREY ALIVE

I wanted to see the deaths scenes in non-laggy format and I watched it and YEAH

THANKS MEATLY IM GONNA HAVE FUCKIN NIGHTMARES

Oh I can’t forget about Bettyyyy, what a sweet gal, I love her and I need more of her

And whatever the fuck that weird book was, the Mug and the Maiden?? Who wrote that they sound hilarious

The whole thing about the ink world and the real world being SEPERATE WORLDS was wild too, like—there was a CITY there, it was HUGE, and the implications of the ink people there being memories, like Joey—the real world versions not there at all but simply alternate copies living a hell (ofc the exception being Audrey and Wilson I’m assuming who’s real world selves were Actually There)

OH OH AND BABY BENDERSSS!! Didn’t do hardly anything and kind of just followed me around for a bit but he was cute! Immediately followed with oh my fucking god as I found out he got tortured by the Keepers

Also in this butcher shop (which had a clever little Meatly reference in the name that made me chuckle) there was just these words that said “the beef is people” and like wow, Audrey accidentally committing cannibalism real

NO CUZ ID BEEN EATING IT. THERES FOOD ALL AROUND (more than just bacon soup! It was all very creative and I liked it ^^) AND SOME OF ITS SLABS OF MEAT

PEPOPLE MEAT. IVE BEEN. FEEDING AUDREY. PEAOPLE MEAT

EUHGHEUHUGHGUH

But anyway, I saved the most important details for last—THE PARTS WITH SAMMY!!

There were hardly any. My day is ruined and my disappointment is immeasurable. BUT, I did enjoy the ones that were there! Sammy having a couple memos, him being held in a cell by the Keepers (FREE HIM) as he’s designated a Cyclebreaker, just playing his banjo looking all vacant, and during the final combat scene HE HAD VOICELINES! A few, before he was SHOT OFF A BALCONY BY ALLISON. ALLISON HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME. FIRST YOUR HUSBAND NOW YOU. WHY

He did a fucking Wilhelm scream as he died (for the 4th time in the series mind you) tho so that was hilarious, but STILL

GIVE ME MORE IN DEPTH SAM CONTENT JDS. DO I NEED TO BRIBE YOU. (for legal reasons this is a joke)

But yeah! Overall these are most of my thoughts regarding how I feel about the game, and though there’s things I would personally change (aaand considering I didn’t get nearly all of the achievements and there’s probably bounds of secrets I didn’t find, there’s prolly a shit ton I still don’t know), I still thoroughly enjoyed playing it! For me it was worth the wait ^^

#abrambles #bendy and the dark revival #batdr spoilers #batdr spoiler #bendy spoilers #it’s scattered and long-winded but hopefully somebody enjoys my thoughts on it

[here-there-be-bad-dragons]

So, like... y’all’ve heard of Killer Klowns from Outer Space, right?

A cult classic from 1988 about an alien species of Clowns who kill and eat people. It’s fucking stupid and campy and bad and I adore it.

Basically the setting is a small town out in the middle of nowhere is terrorized by these (practical effects) massive weird, big headed clowns, and three nobodies have to save the day, and yadda yadda it’s basically your standard b-movie slasher plot

but what it has that I want to talk about is the two punk kids who were arrested at the beginning of the movie

[Edit: Pic Found!]

So these two guys were arrested for having a lovely romantic evening in the park drinking wine. They were arrested for being gay in public. Like, it’s never openly stated but that’s what is implied. Like, the older cop is just heavily implying that these guys are horrible for sharing wine in a park at night, and the other cop is just like “yo, maybe chill down a little with the nonsense, they didn’t really do anything wrong” and the older cop is all “fuck you I’ve got more power in this workplace relationship, they’re going in a cell” or some shit like that I don’t remember because he’s a cop and what I was waaaaaaay more interested in was the two guys he was arresting.

This was my first encounter with even implied gay couples as a kid outside of Bert and Ernie and Velma and Daphne

Like, this little scene right here. It’s filler scene to everyone else, they barely even get to speak but to me as a child in the 90′s... well that meant more to me than I can explain. 

This scene is why I read in-between the lines in regards to characters. This bullshit filler that introduces a bad cop and a not-homophobic bad cop who is going to play a major role in the movie.

This scene is the only reason I as an adult still have an interest in Killer Klowns from Outer Space to the point that I have the song on my Spotify playlist “Havin’ foon” which I began setting up last year around Halloween but also filled it with random bullshit that I enjoy and have fun with and I still listen to it ‘cause it’s all good songs anyways and why the fuck not? 

Also I just found out they’re making a Killer Klowns videogame, so maybe pirate the movie if you’re interested in the game based on a stupid old cult classic about murder happy alien clowns  I guess, idgaf.

#killer klowns from outer space #cult movies #cult classic #cult cinema #lgbtqia #gay #mlm #gays in movies #headcanon #but actually canon

[musical-chick-13]

The thing that really Gets To Me™ (derogatory) about Control Z is that they are SO CLOSE to doing a good job on the representation of Sofía's mental illness.

Her mental breakdown in season 1 where she self-harms again while listening to a sad song, the ostracization she faces from her peers for being "crazy" and the feelings of alienation that come with it...and even smaller, isolated incidents: like being seen taking medication, knowing that medication so well from taking it so consistently that she can immediately tell when it's been tampered with, her being the one to say that Luis's drawing were just Catharsis Art and that artistically depicting something doesn't mean you actually want it to happen-that THINKING something doesn't mean you want it to happen, and INSTANTLY knowing that Natalia meant suicide when she said "something else" caused Maria's death-because she had made an attempt herself. (Whereas Javier had to have it said explicitly, because he's not used to thinking in vague "polite" language regarding suicide/mental illness the way Sofía is.) Even after Sofía has proven herself, when she tries to tell people what’s really going on at the end of season 3, people still accuse her of making things up and calling her “crazy,” because ableism is an ingrained prejudice that isn’t just going to go away because one mentally ill person did a cool thing.

Like, they genuinely do so many good things in depicting this, they just can't...fully...get there...

We have Sofía dealing with realistic levels of ableism from her classmates at school, but Raúl was one of the people participating in this and that just. Never gets mentioned. It’s not even just that she forgives him for that (though trust me, I hate that, too), it’s that no one brings it up at all! Mental illness has had a considerable, significant impact on Sofía’s life (as mental illness is wont to do), it is-as it stands right now in Sofía’s story-an inextricable part of her overall life experience. You’d think someone would at least acknowledge that Raúl was part of the problem and actively making her suffering through ableism worse (despite claiming to care about her). But straight up no one ever does.

And they also started off with an interesting angle with Sofía’s relationship to sex and romantic physicality. It’s not uncommon for people struggling with severe mental illness to have a complicated relationship with their sexuality, and Sofía’s experience at the party in season one, how uncomfortable she looked when told to kiss someone for fun, her awkward conversation with Javier after she chose him, all of this fed into that angle of the complex entanglement between sex, romance, and mental illness that can sometimes exist. I didn’t even have an issue with Sofía’s first hookup with Raúl, because it was obviously an impulsive decision born from her current state of crisis (fighting with her mom-specifically over being coddled and infantilized, which also can happen to mentally ill people-and having flashbacks to everything involving her dad), and the whole scene was darkly lit and frenetic. There was a weird red filter over everything, and the camera panning to Raúl’s hacker mask cast an ominous shadow over the whole thing. Sofía’s relationship with her sexuality was still complicated. She didn’t do this because she trusted him or because she’d gotten over her unsurety or other potential hang-ups. It was an impulsive decision to feel something other than what she was experiencing. This particular instance was an unhealthy coping mechanism, and considering what Raúl was doing at the time (i.e., being the worst boy alive), it proved to be the wrong decision.

Aaaaannd then they screw that all up in season 2. She immediately hooks up with Raúl again, after the smallest amount of an attempt at bonding time. There’s no further discussion at any point of Sofía’s hinted concerns and insecurities regarding sex. It’s like she had sex once (in a very unhealthy situation that was based on Raúl lying to her constantly) and then suddenly there were no issues any more. I could maybe chalk it up to a minor oversight, but when she gets together with Javier post-time-skip, she is completely fine with everything involving their sex life. She’s suddenly this sexually confident person, which as an arc (learning to separate her mental illness struggles and experiences with ableism from her ideas about sex) would have been really interesting! It’s a dimension we don’t often see in depictions of mental illness onscreen, but we are never shown how she got to this point. Sorry (I’m not), but if you have issues with something--anything (and especially if you are mentally ill)--you’re not just going to get over those issues by engaging with the thing you have a problem or insecurity with one time. That’s not how human beings work.

And it’s also...odd, that Sofía seems to lose all symptoms of mental illness when she’s around Raul-presumably because pairing them up would be impossible to make sense of otherwise. She (at least as far as I can remember), isn’t shown taking medication around him; she becomes more cavalier, making jokes/teasing comments in situations where doing so wouldn’t make sense; she starts brushing off pieces of conversations that should be red flags, especially for someone whose primary character trait is “observant”; and for someone who is characterized as being “in her head” all the time (EVEN AS PER RAÚL HIMSELF) because she is literally always observing and deducting--something very common among people who suffer from mental illness--her least thought-out, most rash actions all involve her relationship with Raúl. Which would be fine as a characterization choice if it were framed differently. But (ill-advised season 1 hook-up aside), nothing in her interactions with him: from responding to his aggressive advances in season 2 to her out-of-character teasing/borderline flirting that CONTINUES INTO WHEN SHE’S IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH JAVIER, to drinking more when she’s around him, is presented as impulsive or jarring or unhealthy. At best, you can argue it’s neutral. Mostly, it’s presented as “cute.” I’ve already talked about how Sofía’s personality and values have to change completely in order for this ship to have ANY believability, but probably what angers me the most is that any and all opportunities they had to discuss and depict Sofía’s mental illness get completely thrown aside the moment the narrative has her interact with Raúl.

(Addendum: many mentally ill people latch onto their personal morals/causes for fear of being a bad person. This interpretation (though I’m not sure it was intentional) makes sense for Sofía, whose primary trait-other than being observant-is that she is a nice person. But for someone so committed to her values, she’s willing to overlook Raúl’s faults (that he never tries to change or apologize for), which is especially egregious considering that she doesn’t forgive similar behavior from anyone else.)

It’s just so frustrating, because obviously they could fully commit to their choice to have their main character suffer from mental illness. They have enough good stuff and interesting characterization decisions that they are almost there in terms of this being well-represented. IF THEY TRIED A LITTLE HARDER, IT WOULD BE GREAT.

#control z #sofía herrera #anti raul leon #anti raul x sofia #meta #control z meta #behold! a creation! #mental illness in fiction #mc13 watches ctrlz

[beegandy]

Thinking about how the only forum I ever participated was on kissanime.to

Then it shut down for good shortly after. I guess that was my only real attempt to reach out to a community that fit me. One thing that crosses my mind frequently is how alienated I feel amongst my friends and co-workers. But I should try and make a effort to meet people who make me feel normal. Find those that let me talk and listen to what I have to say. And hold an actual conversation. That's my hope, so if you find common interests with me, feel free to reach out.

I love music, in a weird way. There isn't a day that passes without my phone blaring music. I love rock, it's a drug for me. Goosebumps shoot down my arms when I hear an amazing song (that rush of dopamine is indescribable!) . There have been so many sub genres that I've listened to. Bands that I loved and grew out of, searching for that next high. And maybe a couple that I'll revisit from time to time (like Underoath and their recent album Voyeurist ) My taste is always evolving. A couple artists I'm listening to right now is Andromeda, Animals as Leaders, and whatever prog metal auto plays on YouTube. I look forward to sharing the songs I love with someone I feel will appreciate it. Because my music is so personal and cherished that its like a window into my soul. I don't remember the names of the songs or know the members of each band member (or any). Their significance on music, or special techniques they use. My ADHD brain isn't all that great at remembering that information (unless I studied it often which seems like a chore tbh). I just embrace that song or album till my interest fades. Like the song Chino Moreno did with Polyphia 😂 listened to that song on repeat with no shred of self control.

Video games are my shit, if I show my steam library 💀 there's a ton of titles. And a lot of money senselessly spent. Senselessly because the only title that I keep coming back to is Apex Legends. Everything else is temporary. Although Overwatch 2 is a lot of fun! Still frustrating at times but it provides the challenge and multiplayer competition I enjoy. Maybe you game too and we can clap cheeks together!

If I'm not playing video games or don't feel like it. You can find me either watching random channels on YouTube or anime. I'm gonna apologize in advance, a lot of popular titles are lost on me. The ones that I'd probably have in common with most fans are Attack on Titan, Chobits, Psycho-pass (only the first season) Demon Slayer, and Steins Gate. Studio Ghibli is good as far as movies go but the ones I absolutely love is "I want to eat your pancreas" "A Silent Voice" "Josee, the tiger and the fish" and "Her Blue Sky." My absolute favorite anime series is Ergo Proxy. Funny cause my current DnD character's name is based off Vincent. It's an older title, super confusing and the anime doesn't give viewers the backstory to understand the significance of proxy's and their role given from their "creators". It's not regarded as an amazing anime. But for me, it's the similarities of Vincent's character development to my own. I didn't realize it till recently after I moved on from my own issues that I ignored for a long time. Vincent has his memory wiped to forget his past self and the anguish he faced. His new companions give him a new perspective on life. And when he faces the reality that he tried to escape, his experience with the people he cares for helps him overcome that shadow. I love you mom for helping me let go of the weight I held onto for so many years.

Lastly, my cat Mei who I got from an old co-worker when I worked at pizza hut. This cat is like the 10% of felines that isn't a Dee Dee mega doo doo head. Seriously! Mei won't jump on the kitchen counter tops, dining tables, or my PC desk. She's super gentle when we play. Like I use my hands to wrestle her and she never bites hard or claws me. Nor has she done this with my friends. And as much as she doesn't like being held, she tolerates it from me or a complete stranger with zero aggression. Honestly, she's one of the best things that has happened in my life. I love her. And yes I named her after Mei from Overwatch which is a perfect fit.

I guess that will do for now. Editing will have to wait 😂 thank you for reading if you made it this far! Bye bye!

#anime boy #new friends #new tumblr #progressive metal #pc gamer #journal

[an-overcaffeinated-npc]

We have made it to probably the biggest episode of S3 and boy do I have a lot to say

Shovelwarewolf S3 E4: Bubsy 3D

Ok before even getting into the episode, endgame? Silly narrator that's next seasons plot line.

Ok first point of the episode, Bub manages to create a serum to keep Ivan from transforming. He says that he figured it out on the dark web, which raises the question of where that information came from?

We know the company has a concoction that can keep Ivan from transforming, we see that in Season 2's finale. So if the information came from the company then who leaked it?

I think personally there are two candidates:

1- Susan (accidentally)

2- A rouge employee

So it could be Susan when she exposed the company and all their secrets to the government, however we do know she stole all their research so the chances that she would let that information get out is low. So what about a rouge employee, where did that idea come from? Well we know that someone with a knowledge of Shovelwarewolf was able to record a song that could hold some important details about the company's involvement in Ivan's curse, so what if they did a lot lore than just record a song? What if they leaked all the information on Ivan's condition?

Next question: is it genuinely easier for bub to kidnap what he assumed was a hairy man and shave him to make a fur suit over just buying fabric from the nearest Michaels?

You know since Shovelwarewolf doesn't say it, I will. There is no way that Bub can legally get close enough to kids for a picture

The bubsy playstation is cute NGL

So you know that scratching riff they call out as annoying... I really like it. Like I don't know why but sometimes it will get stuck in my head but I don't mind cuz I think it's a nifty little tune to listen to

Oh hey look foreshadowing with that Aliens comment, how fun 😊

Now we get to bub's most sadistic construction of this season, play Link vs the Faces of Evil or die

Before we move on to the final episode, I just want to pull back a bit to analyze Bub and the roll that he plays in Ivan's process of addressing and working through his trauma. All Bub wants is the Shovelwarewolf and will refer to him and Ivan as two separate entities which is interesting because Susan is the exact opposite, transformed or not she refers to him as Ivan. Susan wanted Ivan to confront and work through the causes of his trauma, while Bub keeps pushing Ivan there for his own gain. Bub acts the same way as the Company, but with Bub it's arguably worse because he took advantage of Ivan when he was at his most vulnerable time. And we really see the greater effect that Bub has on Ivan verses the Company, this season has a lot more of Ivan referencing an action of harming himself. It's weird to call this out in a wacky Angry Video Game Nerd but werewolf show but it actually is really interesting to me that, following Ivan hitting this new low and relying on the Shovelwarewolf for survival we also see this rise in depressive and suicidal thoughts that correspond with symptoms of trauma sufferers, it is surprisingly well written

#randomencounters #random encounters #remusicals #shovelwarewolf #howlween #tw suicide mentions

[millimononym]

The Attackers

here are Venus and Brambles, the attackers of my OC team! (i don’t have a name for the team yet. names are hard). Also if you remember the first oc post and remember the guys name and are wondering, yes, everyone in the team is named and has their looks based off plants. this drawing kinda looks weird cuz i drew the heads first like a dumbass

ANYWAY OC BACKSTORY/PERSONALITY TIME

so Venus is like...one of the only decent people in the entire team(don’t get used to it). She’s very energetic,bubbly and sweet. She also eats a lot. She grew up as the oldest sister in a poor household with a single mom and multiple siblings. As she’s an adult now(early 20′s) the responsibility of caring for her siblings falls on her as her mom is in the hospital. She uses the money she earns as a footballer to pay for her mom’s hospital bills and care for her siblings. She’s incredibly stressed (as you can see from her antennae,they droop when someone is feeling negative emotions) but tries to seem happy in front of everyone because she believes showing negative emotions will rub off on people and she doesn’t want that. She puts other people’s needs before her own because she likes seeing people happy. She doesn’t like conflict but CAN and WILL beat someone (cough cough BRAMBLES cough) up if they’re hurting kids. Dated Brambles at one point...i don’t know how that happened but i’m glad that’s over with

Brambles. This motherfucker. Actual alien equivalent of Ricegum. Going from talking about Venus to talking abt him is giving me whiplash. Absolute ASSHOLE. 0 redeeming qualities. anyway i should probably talk abt him now. He’s the brother of the teams’ backup player and Sugarcane’s cousin. He’s the oldest out of 4 siblings and is an absolutely horrible brother if you were wondering. Grew up in a rich household and is a spoiled brat. No wonder his father left (oh yeah btw his dad left lol). Regularly makes fun of the backup player(his youngest brother, who is SIXTEEN BY THE WAY) for having mental problems and attachment issues (HMMM I WONDER WHAT COULD’VE CAUSED THOSE. probably not LIVING IN A LOVELESS HOUSEHOLD WITH AN ASSWIPE OF A BROTHER). He’s even worse later but i’m not gonna spoil it. How did he manage to date someone as sweet as Venus. I have no clue. I don’t wanna talk about him anymore, his personality is draining to the brain. If he was a real person i’d spit on him

[[EDIT/UPDATE 19.8.2022: ok so i’m not really good at making my stories(i mostly make characters and specific scenes) but Brambles was a pretty barebones guy, even for me. Wasn’t much to him besides being his brothers abuser and being a disappointment to his family. So i wanted to flesh out his character a little more i guess (that’s a lie it came to me completely randomly while listening to music lol.(the music was Splitter Girl by weevildoing and Kareshi No Jude by syudou if u were wondering)).

This might change but as of now some things are added: Brambles was a child who took his familys’ neglect as any rational child would: By developing extremely violent tendencies to harm himself, and every other creature unlucky enough to be near him! ...yay. Frequent victims include animals(who he definitely murdered, by the way) and his youngest brother(hope i introduce him soon so i can stop calling him just that cuz its weird). His other 2 siblings were too slippery for it i guess. Plus theres 2 of them so thats twice as many hands to throw at his face, which they did. TIMEJUMP TO THE PRESENT, i actually have a reason for Brambles and Venus breaking up besides him being an asshole: Cheating. Motherfucker cheated on her with a defender in the team(who i ALSO havent introduced HNNNGHHH) and also cheated on him with Venus because NEITHER OF THEM actually KNEW about the other dating their boyfriend, so technically they were both cheated on. It didnt go to well for our boy here,as you can imagine. Probably gonna need to add some scars to his design now lol(maybe the back? cuz im lazy and dont wanna change anything). So yea those are the changes for now byee]]

WELL OKAY that’s them alright. As one last thing u may have noticed: you can see in the picture that they’re wearing matching collars. That’s actually part of the teams uniform (which i forgot to include in Sugarcane’s reference pic like a dumbass). Each position has a different color and the attackers one is red! A shame Venus has to share the position with Brambles but what can you do.

#galactik football #GF OCs #original character #my art stuff

[theghostpinesmusic]

If 12/28 was the show that delivered a sledgehammer to the kneecaps of my belief that post-'21 Phish wasn't worth dedicating much of my time or attention to, 12/29 was the show that brought that sledgehammer crashing down on that belief's head, silencing it for all time in an ORGY OF HEROIC VIOLENCE

Okay, okay, sorry...I've been listening to a bunch of episodes of Behind The Bastards and it's clearly affecting me...in a good way?

Speaking of oblivion, "Oblivion" may not have been the highlight of 12/29 (I'd humbly suggest the "Chalkdust Torture" that precedes it to open set two), but it's a new Phish song, and there's a nice, crispy video of it on the official channel, so we're doing it.

Before I dive in to how awesome this jam is, one moment of snark: I appreciate the balls it takes to play "Oblivion" and "Sand" in the same set since they are basically the same song. Fight me in the commeeeeeeeeeeeeeents!

So, "Oblivion." There isn't much to say about it in a historical sense, since it was first played in July '23 and has been played a whole seven more times since. For reference, "Bathtub Gin," which I wrote about last time, debuted in '89 and has been played 304 times over 1,751 shows.

So...yeah.

I do know that "Oblivion" and a bunch of other new Trey songs were debuted during the short run that he and the Trey Anastasio Band (TAB) played in June of '23, then a few of those songs, "Oblivion" included, were picked up by Phish and adapted. I haven't sat down and listened through those TAB shows yet (blame Goose), but what I've heard translated to the Phish oeuvre ("Oblivion," "Ether Edge") I've liked so far. In particular, I find "Oblivion" really catchy in a somewhat dark way and appreciate that as the band keeps on keeping on they seem to be coming up with more songs that are good songs and good jam vehicles instead of just one or the other.

For what it's worth, and in case you're immediately wondering what you've stumbled upon, the first bit of this video is the ending of the "Chalkdust" that I lauded above: "Oblivion" proper starts around the 0:45 mark. There's a nice little organ solo from Page and a great call-and-response vocal outro to the song (which are both typical, from what I can tell, but I like them), and then Trey leads into the jam with some soloing starting at 5:05.

This jazzy, dare-I-say "Sand"-like soloing goes on for a bit. Mike is a monster here, too, but he gets sort of overshadowed in the mix when Trey starts ripping.

What even are these stage lights?! Fantastic.

Page's jazz-chording starts to cut through a bit more just after the 7:00 mark, and it sounds like this pushes Trey to move his soloing to something a bit more...reserved? My lack of music theory knowledge is showing itself again, here, but this section feels different.

By 7:45, Mike and Trey are both laying down fuzzy walls of noise for Page to solo over. As usual, whatever Fishman is playing here is beyond normal human comprehension.

There's a pause for breath at 8:30, and then things get even weirder as everyone (it seems) decides to actually play off of whatever the hell Fishman is doing. At this point in the jam during my view of the show, I was laughing out loud watching these four guys do one of my favorite Phish things, which is playing a jam that is 1) impossible for me to keep time to, 2) is utter sonic chaos, and 3) is somehow still fun more than anything else.

I'm not going to attempt to describe this section further. It lasts until 11:15, and it is awesome. Then, Trey starts chording a bit more, which causes Fishman to switch over to a beat that non-alien, human drummers can play. It's not that this next section isn't also weird, but at least it's recognizable as sounds from the planet Earth. In particular, the combination between Trey's high-pitched soloing and all the weird effects that Page (and Trey's looper) are throwing down starting at 12:20 is pretty amazing.

If your brain has been casting desperately around for something it can recognize as music for the last five to six minutes, at 13:05 Trey hits upon a repeating riff that feels like a lifeboat in the midst of the chaos...and this last until about 13:25 when somebody (Mike? Page?) hits on a particularly grungy tone and we become untethered from reality again. At least this is a bit more recognizable as rock and roll.

There's an enormous guitar peak shortly after if, you know, you're into that sort of thing.

I feel like they really embrace the "Let's make as much noise as possible" mentality around 16:00, as Trey starts looping peaks over peaks and everyone else helps drive the thing up and over the mountain. At 16:40, there's a (mostly) smooth transition back into the song's vocal refrain and we've landed from our journey through...oblivion? I mean, it feels a little on-the-nose, but also appropriate.

Next time, I'm going to write about how Trey wrote the best Beatles song of 2023 and then Phish jammed it out for thirteen minutes.

Then, I'll wrap up this mini Phish adventure with a (relatively) short blurb about how unreal the Gamehendge set from 12/31 was.

#phish #writing #music #live music #jams #jam bands #videos #Youtube #tour journal