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#which is good bc i was having too much mock the week withdrawals
constellationclarke · 4 years
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Absolutely getting obsessed with British panel shows where it's basically just the host trying to control the guests like a resigned teacher trying to control a bunch of chaotic children
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astralaffairs · 4 years
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Secret agent Laf invites Thomas over for a drink. He puts something in it, but after a few sips, he realizes he has the wrong cup. Lafayette ends up going to sleep on the couch and Thomas stays to make sure he's okay because that's what friends do.
i made a slight prompt edit for plot convenience and also bc if laf tries to kill thom at LAF'S own place there's no plausible deniability (smh don't yall know how to commit crimes???)
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"Hey, what can I get you a glass of?" Thomas glanced back to where Lafayette stood approaching his kitchen as he went to lock his own apartment door behind him. Lafayette shrugged.
"I brought a bottle of my own, mon amie. May I pour you a drink?" Thomas raised an eyebrow as he went to join Lafayette, and he pulled down two glasses for the both of them. "It only seems fair, given zat you 'ave been willing to 'ave me over for ze evening."
Thomas responded with a lopsided grin, saying, "Now, you're bein' just a bit too generous for my taste. What're you plottin'?"
Lafayette's laugh at his words was almost too natural, the amiable look in his eyes more calculated than warm, but Thomas was far too cheerful to notice. "By ze time you find out, it may already be too late."
"Now you're sure keepin' me on my toes." They shared an entertained glance as Lafayette withdrew a bottle of whiskey from his man-purse satchel. Thomas raised an eyebrow. "Really brought the good stuff, huh?"
"Only ze best for my gracious host."
"You spoil me." Thomas picked up one of the empty glasses to bring with him to the refrigerator, but he glanced back at Lafayette first. "You gonna want any ice?"
"And dilute ze taste of zis? You mock me, Thomas."
"Your funeral," he chuckled, bringing one of the glasses with him to the ice dispenser. "'S always better cold."
"I 'ave reason to believe I will survive." Lafayette's gaze flickered toward the hallway to Thomas's bedroom for only a moment, and he turned to him. "Is zere any chance zat you 'ave a phone charger zat I can borrow?"
"Oh, yeah, 'course." He turned back to Lafayette, leaving his glass half-full of ice on the counter beside the other. "'S back in my room; gimme a minute to go grab it."
Lafayette's smile was all but foreboding. "Please, take your time."
His eyes were trained on Thomas's retreating form until he disappeared around the corner into the hall, and without a moment of hesitation, he tucked a hand into the pocket of his jeans, withdrawing just two small, white pills. He'd decided to keep on the side of caution -- Thomas wasn't what you'd call a small person, and the odds of just one not quite doing the trick were far from nonexistent. Besides, as many hoops as he may have had to jump through to get just one pill in the states, with the amount of time he spent abroad, getting his hands on just a bit of rohypnol was no ordeal.
He uncapped the whiskey first, taking care to make sure the cups both had enough liquid for him to be able to dissolve the pills in Thomas's. The discrepancy may not necessarily have raised eyebrows, but he wasn't one to leave things to chance.
By then, Lafayette was feeling beyond smug. It may have taken him months to finally get to a point where Thomas was vulnerable enough to take out and make it look like an accident, but as he watched the small tablets begin to dissolve in the amber whiskey, giving the other man's glass a swirl, a small smile spread across his lips, and the ice settled atop the pills at the cup's base.
He reached back to the bottle of whiskey, about to cap it, but nearly knocked it over when he heard the door to the penthouse swing open behind him. He whirled around with wide eyes to see Y/N entering, nose buried in her phone as the door fell shut behind her.
"Hey, Thomas? You home? I know I should've called, but--" She cut herself off when she saw Lafayette standing in the kitchen, though she didn't comprehend the panic in his gaze, and the corners of her lips quirked. "Lafayette, hey, what are you doing here?"
"Oh! I... um... came to Thomas for advice," he said, his voice not even unsteady with the lie. He plastered on a smile with no hesitation. "I did not know zat you would be over."
"Yeah, I didn't tell Thomas I was coming. He gave me a key a couple weeks ago, so I figured it'd be fine to let myself in." She couldn't help but notice the apprehension in his tense shoulders, though, and she creased her brow. "I can go, though, if you--"
"Non, stay! I am sure 'e will not mind ze company."
"If he's not kicking me out, I'm staying." Lafayette couldn't help but sigh at how earnest the look in her eyes was as she approached him, curiosity growing in her smile. "You brought whiskey?"
She reached for the glass with ice as she shook off her jacket, and Lafayette inhaled sharply, pulling it away from her. "Oh! Oui... I did."
Her stare was beyond suspicious as she set her coat down onto the kitchen counter. "... Can I have some?"
"Of course, chérie. 'Ave zis." He moved the glass she'd tried to take as far from her as possible, instead sliding her the cup he'd poured for himself.
"Thanks." She took a sip, eyeing him dubiously, but she didn't question him further. She'd long since found that Lafayette had a number of weird ticks, after all the strange situations she'd run across him in over the past few years. Maybe he just really wanted the ice; who was she to judge? "Anyway, what's the occasion for the whiskey? Or is it just a gift for the host?"
She raised her eyebrows, taking another sip as he leaned against the counter. He wore a small smile as he shrugged. "I supposed it would be only right to bring something for Thomas, as he so graciously agreed to 'ave me over for a while."
"Mhm, and that's why you haven't even poured him a glass of whiskey?" His eyes widened as she joined him on his side of the counter, picking a third glass from Thomas's shelf and filling it with ice.
"I meant to! I was just... distracted, of course, when you came in," he said, and she laughed at the growing anxiety in his voice.
"Don't worry; I'm not gonna rat you out." His heart rate was beginning to pick up as she unscrewed the cap from the whiskey he'd brought over. "I'll get him a glass; your secret is safe with me."
He had to force a smile when Y/N sent him a playful wink, pouring out the drink into a third and final glass. "My savior," he said, and though there was jest in his tone, his voice was noticeably shaking. Y/N raised an eyebrow.
"You okay?"
"Oui, of course. I am just... tired. I 'ave not been getting enough sleep recently."
Yet again, she just nodded along, his snowballing lies not even giving her pause. "Yeah, I get that. That's how working in government is, right? Thomas complains to me about it all the time."
"What do I complain about?" Thomas re-emerged at that moment with a phone charger and an expectant stare, eyes darting from Y/N to Lafayette, and she grinned.
"Thomas, hey! Lafayette got you a drink." Before Lafayette could get even a syllable in, Y/N had met Thomas where he stood, handing him the glass she'd poured. Which left him with the final glass he'd poured, on the rocks and roofied. He swallowed hard, staring down into the depths of the glass, almost as though he could still see the just-dissolved rohypnol swirling alongside the ice. "We were just talking about how stressful both your jobs are. Lafayette's getting sleep-deprived."
"Oh, yeah?" Thomas frowned as he walked up to stand beside Y/N, a hand resting casually at her waist. "You should've come over earlier; don't wanna keep you up any later than you need to be."
"Nonsense. I would much rather spend zis time with ze both of you." Y/N let out a soft 'aw' at his words, leaning into Thomas's side as she took a sip of her drink. Lafayette eyed the pair of them tentatively, gaze growing more unsavory by the moment. "Although, I cannot say I was aware zat Y/N would be joining us."
Thomas raised an eyebrow, pulling back to look down at her curiously. "Yeah, I didn't know you were comin' over either. Somethin' up?"
Y/N just shrugged, breaking his gaze as her smile grew despite her best efforts to suppress it. "I just wanted to come spend time with you. Is that a crime?"
"'Course not, sweetheart. 'M always glad to see you." She rolled her eyes when he leaned down to kiss the top of her head, but there was no real annoyance behind her expression as heat rose in her neck. "Hope it doesn't bother you that she's here, though, Laf."
"Absolutely not. Y/N is always a welcome guest." The warmth in his stare as he looked down at her was as genuine as he'd been all evening, and she was all but beaming back at him as he absentmindedly took a sip of his drink.
Y/N let out a soft hum of appreciation. "The two of you are too good to me. Feel like I could show up in the middle of you robbing a bank and you'd still take me out to lunch after."
Thomas laughed, but Lafayette didn't exactly seem enamored with the analogy. "Sure, 'cause you'd pout all evenin' if we just ignored you there."
"Hey! I so would not!" she defended  shoving his side, and he squeezed the side of her hip with the hand still holding her to him.
"'Aw, Thomas, you got all that money from robbing that bank and you won't even take me out? Why don't you even care about me at all?" he mocked, the pitch of his voice rising an octave or two, and Y/N only huffed.
"See what I put up with, Laf?" she said, turning back to the other man with contrived annoyance in her frown. Lafayette cocked a brow.
"You know, if you are zat fed up with 'im, I am sure zat you would 'ave no problem finding other options." About all of his focus had shifted to Y/N and Thomas by then, how close they were standing, how nonchalantly intimate they were acting, and though his eyes shone with mirth, his jaw was set as he took another sip of his whiskey.
"Oh yeah?" She grinned. "Is that just a compliment or is it an offer? Because I'm pretty sure I heard both somewhere in there."
"Now what is wrong with ze idea of it being both?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, and she bit her lip.
"Thomas, I hope you're hearing that you've got some competition, now." She prodded the man in question in the side, but he didn't seem all too ruffled by Lafayette's words. "Better start treating me right."
"Aw, 'cause I'm so bad to you now?"
"Exactly."
Thomas rolled his eyes, bringing his glass to his lips, and Lafayette pursed his lips.
"I am only joking. You must know zat I would never mean to come between ze two of you."
"We know, Laf. Don't worry." Y/N could see Lafayette's jaw soften at her demure smile, but she pursed her lips mischief in her eyes as she added. "But I know I wouldn't mind having you between us, if you catch my drift."
The wink that followed her words left Lafayette balking, almost unable to believe his ears, and Thomas chuckled. "You're trouble, huh, Sweetheart?"
"Only for you."
They both ignored Lafayette's wide eyes, how stunned he still looked as Thomas turned to address him. "Wanna come sit? Feel like I'm not bein' a great host, makin' you both stand here in my kitchen."
"Fine by me." Y/N answered for both of them, and when they sank into the couches in his living room, she lay with her head against Thomas's shoulder, just below where he'd extended one arm to rest along the back of the couch, and when Lafayette joined them just moment later, he raised a brow when her legs settled into his lap.
She grinned when she met his amused stare. "What? You don't mind, do you?"
He took another sip of his drink to hide the broadening smile he wore. "Of course not, chérie."
The night continued on just the same from there, the three of them chatting all-but mindlessly, interspersed with Y/N's less-than occasional jabs at Lafayette. He didn't seem to mind; though, that may have been a function of how tired he quickly seemed to be growing. Of course, both Y/N and Thomas empathized with him on it -- demanding careers weren't exactly few and far in between when it came to working in Washington, so it was only natural that his lack of rest had him out like a light.
They were almost surprised at how heavy a sleeper he was, though. Y/N and Thomas stayed laying around for nearly another hour, but when they moved, they tried to wake him up so he'd be able to go back across the hall to his own penthouse -- no such luck.
Y/N's conclusion was that it must've been because of how quickly he'd finished his drink. It was on ice, and all, but with whiskey that strong, the fatigue was slowly beginning to set into her limbs as well.
"Should we at least get him a blanket and a pillow?" Y/N stood leaning on the back of the couch. She and Thomas had finally managed to separate themselves from his couch cushions, and Thomas had just pulled Lafayette up so he was laying across it on his side. (Putting him on his back seemed like a recipe for disaster; he hadn't been anywhere past tipsy, but one could never be too careful. Waking up at 4 AM to give Lafayette the Heimlich as he choked on his own puke was neither of their idea of a good time.)
"Good thinkin', sweetheart." Thomas walked back around the couch to her, his arms wrapping around her waist from behind as she looked back at him with a smile. "You wanna get to sleep, too?"
She sighed, turning around in his grasp to face him. "Well, that wasn't quite what I had in mind when I came over, but I'm too tired for anything else by now."
Thomas's laugh was soft as he kissed her forehead, brushing a piece of hair from her cheek. "I kinda figured. Lemme get Lafayette set up, and I'll come to bed with you, okay?"
"Okay, T." The words were soft, almost slurred as fatigue ebbed into her voice, and she pulled him down to kiss her properly. "'S nice of you to take care of Laf like this. You're a good friend," she murmured against his lips, and he shrugged, wearing a soft smile.
"Hey, he'd do the same for me. Can't just leave him hangin'."
"Doesn't make it any less thoughtful." She loosened her arms where she'd wrapped them around the back of his neck, dropping back down from where she'd pushed herself onto her toes. "Join me in a few?" she asked, sliding out of his grasp and padding down the hall toward his bedroom.
"Of course, sweetheart." He eyed her as she left, his smile growing more and more mischievous with each step she took. "But if you're spendin' the night, you'd better not have anywhere to be in the mornin'."
"Oh, yeah?" She glanced back at him, eyes shining. "Are you planning to keep me busy?"
He winked. "Once I get Lafayette outta here, you're booked for the rest of the day."
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wannawrite · 7 years
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This Isn’t Part Of The Plot
Wanna One's Lai Guanlin X Reader TW: violence, emotional abuse Word count: 3430 
Fluff, mild angst • you and ( actor! ) Guanlin are filming a drama series together • fun fact: you two despise each other because of a scandal awhile back but c'mon pretending for the cameras bc you gotta get that cash amirite ;) • eventually...some unexpected things happen hurh hurh biAS BIAS BIAS ALERT WEE WOO I LOVE GUANLIN SO MUCH AND I MIGHT BE MEETING HIM NEXT MONTH HOLY SHIT anyways....thank youuuu for requesting this anon :) I hope you like it, sorry if it isn't what you wanted. Re-request if you want to! Also, we might be closing the request box really soon so do request before then, both admins will be extremely busy with school. Admin N iS woRKING HARD OKAY I PROMISE I WON'T DEPRIVE YOU GUYS OF HER SHE'LL BE OFF HIATUS VERY SOON I PROMISE - admin L _________ You swore that the bottle of nail polish you clamped down on was about to crack from the pressure, your force displayed by your whitening knuckles. The anger that bubbled within you threatened to spill, you didn't imagine your temper would explode through the roof at this time but it just seemed like a ticking time bomb. "Y/N! Y/N! Are you okay? Calm down," your manager - more like a best friend-, Nayoung said, running her hands through your hair in an attempt to soothe you. You two were very close, you had known her since your trainee days and she too felt your anger and frustration. "Listen, I'm not exactly happy about working with Guanlin and his manager either. Especially after all the trouble they caused us last year, it's very shocking CEO would insist on this. Please, for all our sakes, try to control your emotions on set. After that, I'll let you rant all you want." Nayoung massaged your shoulders and slowly plucked the nail polish out of your hands. The whole day, you had been sitting on in the dressing room ( refusing to leave in fear of bumping into Guanlin ) to be pampered in preparation for filming. Your lines were engrained in your head and every action was carefully calculated, whether you would be able to execute them with your fellow lead was another matter altogether. Lai Guanlin. You despised him. Well, you wouldn't have if he had kept his mouth shut and hadn't blabbered bullshit about you. Partially, it was your fault because you responded in a harsh manner but all the trouble and drama he had stirred up for you was worth it. What happened? 
So, one fine day while Guanlin was carrying out a Livestream interview and you were out there minding your own business, breathing your own air. When asked the question "Guanlin, which rising star would you choose to collaborate with?", he replied with "Definitely Lin Zhaoxi of WannaWrite Entertainment." Your fellow actress in the same company who had debuted at roughly the same time. The damned interviewer posed another question... or exclamation rather "Not with Y/N? Y/N is becoming quite popular lately." Guanlin laughed and shook his head. "I'm sorry but please don't... associate? me with that kind of level acting. Y/N is good but she's just getting by with her pretty face. I can't say I support her fully." There was an outcry. For days, tabloids and entertainment platforms reported about this. Reporters and paparazzi swarmed both Cube Entertainment and WannaWrite Entertainment, pestering for statements from you or Guanlin. Honestly, it wasn't a big deal but since both of you were pictured together leaving a casting building, the world assumed you were on good terms and even dating. Me, with that imbecile! How could they! It was a random coincidence that the two of you exited at the same time but the pictures were taken and the rest was history. A few days later, acting on impulse and your hurricane of emotions you tweeted out. officiaY/N @laiguanlin01 thanks for the compliment. Weren't you only cast for your previous lead role because of your face too? You don't have much to say (icantbemeantohimimsorry) Of course, CEO L had hacked your Twitter and deleted the tweet and their publicist had tried her best to cover it but it was too late, the damage had been done. You thought it was sure to end there but surprisingly, Guanlin responded. laiguanlin01 @officialY/N wow petty much? Maybe if you paid this much attention to practicing you'd be better and wouldn't have to rely on your looks or popular friends. Grow up. You were furious beyond words but manager Nayoung banned you from the internet, afraid of your negative response. It was embarrassing, to say the least. However, time continues and that drama was left behind, you wanted to burn and bury it. You just never expected to be cast in for lead roles with Guanlin and even though you knew your management could withdraw you, they kept pushing you to do take the role. The alliance with Cube and WannaWrite had to form and prosper. Truthfully, you would do almost anything to repay your company. "Y/N? Are you ready? We must start shooting soon...." You snapped back to your senses at manager Nayoung's words. Sighing, you nodded reluctantly and prepared to step on set. Be professional. Be professional. Control yourself, Y/N. Show Guanlin what you are made of. Shakily, you stood up, mentally preparing for the moment. Yes, there were a few intimate scenes and you hoped that at least, he was a good kisser. Just think about the paycheck in your bank account. All is well. ... "Okay! Good! We got it! Cut!" You had never wanted to hear those words more than now. At first, Guanlin had greeted you with a simple 'hello' and the two of you did not interact during breaks, only speaking when absolutely necessary or when delivering lines. The scene of hugging ended, you quickly jumped apart and retreated to your stylist. You felt your face grow hot and palms sweat profusely. It was absolutely maddening to act romantic with someone whom you hated so much but, Guanlin was handsome and you would be lying if you said his looks hadn't attracted you. If only his rotten personality didn't ruin it, you thought bitterly, the makeup brush flicking across your cheek. You knew Guanlin wasn't a terrible person, he just had the wrong words and the wrong time, yet, you couldn't exactly see the best in him either. It was a checkmate. "You two did great! Anyone would believe it was a real romance!" The director praised, jumping up from his seat and excitedly hugging some members of the production crew. In the background, Guanlin smiled but shook his head. His gaze bore into your own and while his remained quite warm and friendly, yours narrowed and burned. He put his hands up in mock surrender which almost elicited a laugh out of you but you spun away and faced the other stylist before he could read your expression. Ugh! Get it together, Y/N! Do not let Lai Guanlin affect you. "Y/N! Y/N! To celebrate the start of shooting, the director wants to treat everyone for dinner! You have to be there," Manager Nayoung informed in a hushed tone, taking your hands in hers. You let out a whine. I'm already an actress as my full-time job, how much more will I have to act like I can tolerate Lai Guan Lin! Nayoung sighed, she shot a sympathetic smile at you and petted the top of your head. "Don't worry, I can handle it if things get out of hand but please, just maintain this a little longer so we both keep our jobs." You cracked a smile at her lame joke and nodded although it was reluctant. But a part of you was curious, interested to find out what Lai Guanlin was really like. ... Thankfully, the dinner wasn't as awkward as you thought it would be. Guanlin kept to his crew and you to yours. Occasionally, the sides engaged in meaningless small talk. Guanlin even asked about your day and how his acting was. "Um, you d-did well. Good job, you worked hard," you improvised or rather, provided a textbook answer but Guanlin seemed pretty satisfied with your reply. He sent his adorable gummy smile your way and you nearly fainted right there and then. Guanlin was charming. However, some asshole had to bring up that huge scandal that happened. You panicked, looking across at Guanlin. He cleared his throat, sensing your discomfort. "Ahh, that. That was a very long time ago, I was being childish and immature about it. I acted rashly, I'm sorry Y/N, I never got a chance to apologise personally. I'm sorry," he piped, an upset look slipped onto his face. "I-it's fine. I was...rude to you as well. I apologise, let's put this behind us," you croaked, reaching for your glass of water. His sudden apology had you flustered. Wow, his acting had improved so much. I'm impressed, anyone would have bought that. Apology my ass. There was a pregnant pause before the entire table burst in applause and cheers. You turned beet red, bowing slightly to the crew members. "Yah! Make up properly, go and hug each other." A voice rang out and still, you had no clue who it was. You hesitated.... But Guanlin didn't. He stood up from his seat and waltzed over to your own. Forcing a smile on your face, you wrapped your arms around his muscular shoulders and pulled him close. He was a good hugger, he radiated off warmth and security. Bonus! Guanlin smelled like he stepped out of the Dior perfume section. Heavenly. Finally, he pulled away, a tiny bit to your dismay but before he returned to his seat, you pressed a quick peck to his cheek, making the 'apology' all the more believable. Manager Nayoung's excited squeals could be heard above all the noise. You smirked at Guanlin whose ears had turned red and could only smile shyly, scuffing his expensive leather shoes together. Unknown to you, his heart thudded inhumanely fast, peculiarly pleasant shivers ran down his spine. Not as awkward as you imagined it to be. ... The next few weeks of filming were blissful. Why? On the third day, Guanlin had broken into your dressing room and requested to talk. When all the stylists had left, he apologised profusely for the drama he had initiated. "Didn't we put it behind us on Sunday?" You had asked, puzzled. "I know! But I didn't want you to feel like it was just for the crowd, I'm truly sorry. I hope you believe me," he pleaded, genuinely apologetic. You ended the session with a hug before shooing him off to get ready, assuring him that all the drama was in the past. You knew Guanlin was growing on you and somehow, you didn't want to stop him. You were in a dilemma, your heart and head were telling you two extremes. Amiable Guanlin continued to make an appearance, he always smiled and greeted you whenever both of you bumped into each other and at times, he would venture to find you in case you needed help with running lines. You found yourself hanging out in one of the common rooms with him often, practicing scenes or even hanging out as...friends. You talked about how your day had been, about your friends and about each other's interests in general. It became very clear that at the end of two weeks, you were falling for Guanlin. You were joyful. But all good things must come to an end. ... The cold stung your cheeks, causing them to redden. You shuddered uncontrollably, legs shaking like jelly and teeth chattering. The night was still young according to your director despite it being 9 pm and pitch darkness should the production crew not have brought spotlights. It was ridiculous. Despite all these factors, the show must go on. You continued to deliver your best. It also helped that Guanlin kept your heart in a fuzzy mess by telling you all his lame jokes and stories in between takes. Your heart was warmed by his sweet laughter, it sounded like music to your ears. "Okay! Wonderful! It's a wrap for today, everyone start packing up!" The shooting site had been tossed into a frenzy, the crew was so frantic to keep the equipment no one noticed you and Guanlin slipping away from your dressing tents. You couldn't stop the giggles from the adrenaline rush, sneaking away from your manager and staffs was a huge thing for you, plus it made you feel like you were actually living a normal teenager life. "Hey, I heard there's a really nice milk tea shop nearby. Want any?" Guanlin suggested, he pouted when he saw hesitation flicker across your face. "C'mon! It'll be fine, we'll be back before anyone notices. Besides, I got one of the staffs to cover for us. It's okay, live a little, Y/N." Sighing, you agreed. Guanlin smiled and grabbed your hand, causing just about a billion sparks to light up. It felt like there was an entire zoo in your stomach. He didn't seem to realise you two were walking hand in hand towards the shop. The street was pretty deserted as this was a housing estate and it was late at night, no one would have caught both of you in this promising position. "Do... you want me to wait outside while you order? You know, shops have cameras and... confusion will arise if we step in hand in hand," Guanlin muttered, a sense of discontent in his voice. You let go of his hand just as the shop came into view. Before you entered, you sent him a shaky smile, gesturing for him to pull up his black face mask to hide his identity better. You adjusted your own baseball cap to fit tighter. It was useless. You had to force yourself not to gasp, not to hold your breath when you saw who the worker was. Your ex-boyfriend. The ex-boyfriend you broke up with before your debut because you caught him cheating on you with another girl. The ex who had tormented you emotionally, who haunted your nightmares with his malicious words. The one who always told you that you were never good enough for him, that your acting was never going to take your anywhere. It took all your willpower to not burst out crying or run out of the store. You tried your best to avoid his slimy gaze. "Y/N?" Too late. "It's you, isn't it! Awww, the big time actress! I guess I was wrong, your acting did get you places. Do you have a boyfriend now? Let's get back together." How dare he!  Your anger was slowly but surely building up inside. Your mouth ran dry, no words could be said. "Ahh, speechless? I know right! Yah, remember all the good times you had together? Don't you miss them?" He taunted. "You mean the times you left me hanging? Stood me up on dates? Insulted me in front of all your friends? Told me you loved and cherished me but made out with Jasmine an hour later? Yeah, I sure do miss those times!" You yelled, infuriated by his words. "Don't try and act that you didn't know I was hurt, you told me to wait for you while you went out clubbing with like twenty different girls! I've had enough of your games." "Yah! So you think now that you have scored a job or two you can come and accuse me of such ways! Do you know how much I sacrificed for you? I did all I could, I was the best boyfriend!" He leaned over the counter and set a hand on your shoulder. It made cold shivers travel all over your body, goose bumps appearing. His touch wasn't comforting like Guanlin's, it was cold and controlling. You hated it. "Get your hands off me! You have no right to say anything to me!" You managed to shrug him off and turned to leave but he grabbed your wrist at the last moment and tugged harshly. You tripped, he shoved your shoulder hard and you fell to the ground with a thud. "You bitch!" He sneered. Crack! The sound resonated throughout the entire store. A red handprint visible on your cheek which you cradled, jaw open in shock. The tears that you tried so hard to hold back now flowed freely. The door burst open. "Y/N! You hit her! How could you!" It was Guanlin. Honestly, you didn't want a fight to start because of this. You had enough. You wanted nothing more than to return home. Guanlin raised his fist to punch your ex-boyfriend but you caught his arm and whimpered, pleading with him not to. Your ex-was in shock, but he recovered quickly. "Yah! Who do you think you are? She's my girlfriend, I can do whatever to her." ( no you fcking can't please get this mindset out it's fcking wrong and I hate it ) Guanlin really wasn't having it. He shoved your ex-boyfriend harshly in the chest. "That's wrong. Y/N is a person, not an object. You can't play with her like that. You're sick, I'm calling security on you. We're leaving." But before he could, the ex kicked him in the stomach. It was like he expected Guanlin to be affected by that. Guanlin just chuckled, sinisterly. "You don't mess with people like that." He didn't stall, he punched the other guy in the nose, blood started to flow. Then, he focussed his attention on you. When it was clear you were too traumatised to even stand, he scooped you up and stormed out of the shop. ... "I'm so sorry. I'm so so so so so sorry," Guanlin apologised. "Hell, my sorries can't even fix this. It was all my fault, Y/N. I should have never suggested this. I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" He looked like he was about to cry as well. "That was my ex....he may have said many horrid things to me but never once did he hit me...." That caused Guanlin to tighten his grip on you. "I'm so sorry, I-I really should have never made you leave...." His perfect face had tears running down. "It's-it's o-okay. You didn't know anything, it is not your fault. Don't be like this," you stammered, your own emotions were in a mess. "If I didn't suggest it, you wouldn't have been hurt! It's all my fault!" He shrieked in panic. "It's my fault you got hit!" "It isn't! It really isn't!" You insisted. "What are we going to do about all the rumours though?" "Y/N! Priorities! You just got injured because of me, we need to get you to the hospital!" The sense of urgency rising in his tone. "Yah, Guanlin-ah. I'm okay. I'm stronger than that. But the whole world will think we're dating after this incident, what will we do?" Guanlin shrugged, he blinked back tears. "Well, I won't deny rumours that I want to be true." What? "...no way. You? Want to date? Me?" "Y/N, this isn't the time to be talking-" "Yes! Yes! I will date you!" "No, we need to get you to the hospital. I'm sorry you got hit, I will make sure that never happens again. Let me call security." You waited for his call with the security to end. "They're going to catch him. Y/N, it's all my fault. I'm so so so sorry-" You cut him off by pressing your lips to his. They were plush and velvety, he had kissable lips. At first, he was frozen in shock but after awhile, he began to kiss back with passion. When you broke apart, there was a dazed look in his eyes. "Woah...." The tips of his ears turned red, his face grew hot. "Y/N, I caused you so much misery. Why would you like me? I hate myself for this. Why can't you hate me too? Life would be so much easier," he said, almost absent-mindedly. "Because I like you," you blurted out. "Let's date." "But-" "Guanlin, you care too much. My ex was an asshole, to you too. Yes, he hit me. Yes, no one should abuse anyone, which is why we reported him anyway. Yes, it may take time for me to recover but I hope you can wait for me. I'm sorry I'm a mess," you confessed, blushing. Guanlin's eyes grew as large as saucers. "No! No! Don't apologise. And...if it's you, I'll wait for you. I want to help you recover. I want to be there for you. It must be tough to deal with this." You beamed, tears nearly flowing again. Thank you." "It's what any potential lover would do. Let me know when you're ready for a relationship again, we'll take it as slow as you need it to be. I hate to rush things anyway," he admitted and really, you couldn't ask for anyone more perfect. The walk back was silent after that but really, you communicated in other ways without using words. Guanlin was wonderful, who had scripted this part of the story? It was almost too good to be true. guys, abusive relationships shouldn't be romanticised. It's horrible and mentally tormenting. Please don't go through with one. Leave it immediately. I feel like I kind of romanticised it a bit here and I hate it so much. Please give me feedback and I will gladly take this down if it's too much. Abuse is never okay or something to be taken lightly. If this offends anyone, it will be removed immediately. This was hard for me to write and I truly apologise if is triggering. Let me know, I will take it down.
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cancerbiophd · 6 years
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So. I want some advice--- bc I'm- doing bad. In my high school, I used to be one of the top students but now that I'm in college (a very competitive and large one) my grades suck (like way below average bad). I don't understand any of my classes and I just don't know what to do anymore. I study and work constantly, but not efficiently and I'm just emotionally drained and hate doing work for no good payoff. I like my major. I can see myself continuing it in the future. (1/2)
but at the rate things are going I don’t know if I’ll ever get the chance to. It’s just an endless cycle. I study without motivation all night, get bad grades back and then start the week over again even more depressed because of the grades. I don’t know what to do. As someone who has been through schooling and just life, in general, can you give some advice or a pep talk? — honestly, i just wanted to rant this at someone, so i’m sorry and don’t worry if you don’t have an answer. ♥
hey there!
ok, the first thing i want you to do is take a deep breath, and remember that you’re going to be ok. things are rough now, but you’ll come out of it ok. like every other challenge in your life, this too shall pass. you’re going to be ok anon, you’re going to be ok :)
it sounds to me you’re going through a case of burn-out. like, you’re really passionate about what you’re studying, but at the same time you’re just so. tired. and over it. if that sounds about right, i have a post here about a few ideas on how to deal with burn-out. see if any of those sound doable. 
a few other options that you have are basically 1) try again, 2) switch it up, and/or 3) seek help:
withdraw from some of your classes and retake them in another semester. college is overwhelming! and it can be really different than high school. there’s a reason why johns hopkins has this thing where the grades from first semester of freshmen year don’t count towards the official transcript–they know it’s a huge change and people need time to adapt. and it’s ok to withdraw from classes in college. i withdrew from plenty bc i either found out i don’t have enough time or energy for them, or that particular professor/time-slot/mode (online vs in person) just wasn’t working for me. and it didn’t drastically affect my GPA or scholarship or future. if you’re a freshman, now is probably the best time to withdraw from a good chunk of classes, and then as your college career goes on and you learn what’s best for you in terms of how many credits/semester, you can show on your transcript that you’ve adapted and found a way to thrive. 
try out a different way of learning. maybe what worked in high school isn’t going to work in college. for example, in hs there’s a lot of just memorizing facts and then regurgitating them on the exam. the best way to study for that isn’t the same as in college, where exams test how well you can use those basic facts to construct something deeper, like problem solving. if you kept any of the previous exams of your college classes so far, pour over them and figure out if there’s a different way to study for them. one exercise i like to do is trying to guess what exam question the professor might ask. you can also get together a study group and have everyone create practice quizzes in the form of everything from pen and paper to a mock jeopardy game. have fun with it :) my other go-to thing to do when i don’t understand a subject is find another source of information: it can be another student, the textbook, online article, or even (my favorite) a video explaining it. another great source of information is the professor and TA, which brings me to:
talk to the professor or TA. one of my greatest regrets from college was not taking advantage of office hours. i think my grades would’ve been so much better if i had just gotten help. these professors and TA’s are there because they are absolutely bonkers passionate about the subject, and probably (hopefully) love teaching it. so please ask them your questions. let them do their job in teaching you; let them earn that tuition you’re paying them! 
talk to your advisor as well. they may not be able to help you understand the material, but they have the experience of solving this challenge that thousands of students have gone through before. they can better lay out a battle plan that’s tailored towards you and your area of study, and assess the consequences of each path taken. i think it’s worth paying them a visit first before withdrawing from classes. 
i know the biggest worry you have is how all this will affect your GPA and future. but know this: the GPA is an average of allllll the classes you take, right? so if your GPA this semester isn’t what you hoped for, you still have time! you still have time to take classes in the following semesters, the summers, the winters, online… you still have a second third fourth 30th chance to boost your numbers. 
and job applications don’t care that much about grades, especially if you can show that you’ve improved. jobs care most about experience in the field and who you are as a person (teams want to hire a person they can work well with). 
grad schools might care a bit more, but your GPA is just one ingredient in the cake you’re presenting. and you still have a chance to explain why the flavor isn’t as sweet, because look, you’ve gone from making a bitter cake to what’s here today, and improvement is a vital strength for any applicant. 
all of this about academics aside though, i want you to make sure you’re happy. i want you to make sure you’re ok with everything. college can be repeated, but your happiness? your well-being? your physical mental emotional health? those things are irreplaceable. sometimes you just gotta put you first. how you do that is up to you, but one first step would be to battle the burn-out and assess the academic options for this semester. 
i hope this helps, even a little bit, or gives you an idea for what to do next. if you want to talk (ie rant more) i’m here! you are welcome anytime in my inbox or via private messaging. i can be here for you every step of the way. 
and hey, remember: you’re going to be ok
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