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rui-drawsbox · 1 month

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halo halo this might be out of blue but may i ask how’d you fall in love w Baxter? I wanna hear the story of like how you started to like him if you don’t mind sharing . tysm!!and i love all your artworks!!!!

AGHHHHHHH i was about to go to sleep but healty schedules are overrated. Take a sit cuz this is gonna be LONG bc i dont know how to get to the point (jump right to the end to get the 3 lines resume lmao)

if you ask me why i like right now: he's a dramatic loser. But that was when i finally understood his character! you wouldn't be surprised if tell you that i'm an idiot right? i'm super slow to read between lines and understand people, that applies to fictional characters too lmao (+add that english isn't my first language) So! at first i didn't actually understood what was going on with -well- anything :D.

Took me a few playthroughs to actually understand the game in general, i started to play before step 4 was out so all i could do was play and replay different ways to fall in love with Cove (starting to crush at step3 was my fav) but tbh he was never my *type*, Derek was interesting but just bc he like us by default. Even after playing his dlc i felt like he was just a really good friend (which was kinda weird bc to this point i've just played his romantic route). So, what's different with Baxter?

To begin with! he's... he's....... huhh my first impression wasn't actually strong tbh, i was like "huh new guy to date yay". I didn't actually understood his character the first few playthroughs ngl. I started in fond ofc to get into the dlc but *I* was pretty indifferent, probably in Drinks where we finally see Morning Baxter was that i said "oh shit he's cute" and cuteness+gapmoe is enough to make me fall for any character tbh.

But! that was not enough to provoke a brainrot like this right? i'm the "Oh i love this *forgets about in a week*" type. What sealed the deal (badum tss) was probably bc of the fandom? Once i was done replaying the dlc 5 times in a row i went straight to tumblr to feed of headcanons, fanarts and fanfics. My favorite way to understand a character is thru the fandom tbh, my favs are the long aa essays talking about a character personality.

Long story short, he was dramatic troubled flirty gap-moe guy (my fictional type, coincidentally) with an excellent storyline. I still wasn't 100% into him but he was top1 romatic choice for me (sorry Cove and Derek, love ya but platonically), so i made 2 fanarts for his dlc in may and let the hype die... only for 6 months otherwise we wouldn't be here, would we?

AH-HA-HEM the day 28th of november, beginnings of summer, i went out in the morning to do some errands with my mom, we stopped to buy vegetables in our way home and she bought a small watermelon bc i love them. That same afternoon i was eating it and thought "watermelons are finally here, summer it's officially here!" and got struck with Olba memories like a sleeper agent. (made a minicomic abt that, that's why i have the exact date lol) SO i replayed the game again, reading everything again, and oh boy i finally understood so many things, one of those things was Baxter himself!

A lot of stuff made sense once i actually took the time to comprehend his character with the information i gained out of the game (mainly all the asks ppl sent to gb). Add the way that i always played like *me* on my first playthroughs of anything and then you'll notice why he hit me so hard, it felt like i wasn't giving him enough credit before dasjkfas.

Tbh his dlc is my fav bc it has such a strong storyline, you get to know him and his insecurities thru all step 3, and have a lot of sweet moments too! (and that night goodbye?? omg it hits me so hard bc it's right after the ending song) and because step 4 it's right after you go with all the fresh memories of your summer together and seeing him so cold towards you it's so painful but also so funny because HA I CAN SEE THRU YOUR FACADE YOU STILL LIKE ME HAHAHA and i finally knew the perfect word for him: loser.

Anyways i also did a deep dive in the Olba and Baxter Ward tag here in tumblr and eat pretty much everything, also helped me to get a better grasp for all the little details i didn't noticed before bc haha i told you im an idiot?

sO yeah i made a few drawings of my Mc interacting with the characters, surprisingly it got a lot of attention from the fandom so i made a few more and when i noticed i was deep into the brainrot and i wasn't able to draw anything besides my Ruri and Baxter being cute lmao

Funfact. Ruri is a variation of Rui (duh) that i used in games when i didn't feel like i wanted to be called my name directly, now that she expropriated me of that name i use Ruru, i'm so creative right?

Long story short: it was mix of the game itself, fandom content and people actually liking my oc content. The fandom is super welcoming with everyone's oc's i love that akjdlfhask

ajksdfhasjk WOAH THAT IS SO LONG i def went over the top didnt i? I tried to explain my train of thought and fill the spaces where my memory is blurry with stuff i think i would've thought at the moment, it's also 3am so im- not entirely here tbh hjadfhkj

ANYWAYS THANKYOU ANON FOR LETTING ME RAMBLE I LOVE TALKING TO NO ONE IN SPECIFIC ABOUT THE THINGS I LOVE LOVE YAA<333

#rui thinks loudly #gonna upload the drawing i actually was staying up late for and go to sleep #took me 2 hours to write this omg im so lost #idk how much i wrote but i still feel like it wasnt enough. i need to ramble and be redundant about olba for another 3 hours

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blue-jisungs · 10 months

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5k followers event !

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?? BC I CANR 😍 we hit 5k!!!! thank you all so so much from the bottom of my heart, i cannot fully express how thankful i am 🥹 it doesn’t matter if you’re new here or been there since the begging (well technically it does, you’re an OG!!! love u<;3), as someone once said: it doesnt matter whom you have known the longest, it’s about who came and stayed till the end (or something like that lol)

so to celebrate i decided to make a lil poll and txt won the voting! combining my first ever band that waltzed into my heart and stayed there (5sos) with one of the latest ones (txt) seemed like a fun idea! now, if i could i’d write it in a completely different way but my attention span isn’t the greatest + i have a couple of different projects going on (such as the july jam session which was inspired by it btw lol), so here’s how it looks: each member has a piece written (~1k words each) connected to a certain song from an album! i know, i know there’s no sgfg but i couldn’t match anything <\3 and i was having such a hard time bc i am biased, okay? i love youngblood and 5sos5 and it was SO HARD TO PICK A ONE SONG?!

okay i need to stop talking so much. anyways, here’s the masterlist that will be updated! (did u see what i did here? i put them in the order of release just like the way i’ll post my fics–)

good girls ,, huening kai — 2/07

the only reason ,, yeonjun — 4/07

better man ,, beomgyu — 7/07

best years ,, soobin — 10/07

HAZE ,, taehyun — 12/07

again. thank you so so much! i wouldn’t be here if not you!! :( i’d like to thank my moots, my beloved friends i’ve made on here. now bare w me bc why does it feel like i’m leaving or something 💔 i just love n appreciate you so much but, here we go:

thank you ola, my mother ☝️ (@l3visbby) for correcting my works even when i didn’t ask you to :( you’re always there to hear my rambling (literally) and you’re the grammar police muahaha also a big big inspo, i’m genuinely grateful that you’re here, bearing n somehow managing my bullshit

ZANNA! @slytherinshua, my loveliest friend, an angel, felix in disguise, biggest joshua and dk stan e v e r!!! what id do without you…? probably die (not to be dramatic 🙄). you’re such a inspiration and good person to be around, i love your reblogs and conversations with you! you never fail to me make me smile and it’s always a fun time screaming abt taehyun together <3 you’ve been with me since… what, like… forever!! (almosr a year actually i still can’t believe it) and i’m so happy that we met <3

KIMCHI!!! 김치 LIKE THE KOREAN DISH!!! KIMCHI LIKE NY BELOVED FRIEND @planetkiimchi!!!!!! you’re so sweet. like, always. thank you for introducing me to nct LMAO but in general, i love texting with you :( you’re so funny and always being such a positive vibe!!! not to mention your writing, it’s genuinely so amazing?? i still remeber the chan piece you sent to me before posting, it made me so emotional AND IF THAT DOESNT SPEAK VOLIMES THEN I DUNNO⁉️ thank you for popping in my inbox n making me smile so much <3

speaking of inbox @lipedaisy i’m looking at you 🫵 debs, you’re so so lovely :( i uh, tend to forget about things, ahaha! so when you pop in n say simple stuff like drink water i feel like… well, you’re a life saver lol! you’re always so kind and bring positive energy, i love chit chatting with you (even if i forget to reply💔).

i hope you won’t be mad i mention you in one paragraph but it’s only because it applies to you all!!! @fairyhaos ,, @mirxzii ,, @rubywonu ,, @etherealyoungk ,, @delcakoo ,, @crxzs and @enluv you inspire me so so much!!! not only you’re the loveliest and funniest people i’ve met but i love your writing!! i know i don’t reblog that much but i write more than i read <\3 but you have amazing talent, your works are always beautifully written. nia, roxie, skye, yena, ema, angie, coco you deserve all the happiness in the world and i’m so grateful we’re friends (even though i’m a dry n late replier sometimes <3)

and to my other moots — @yeonscity-main ,, @sieunsgf ,, @malarign ,, @ddeonudepressions ,, @pnkvernon ,, @wqnwoos ,, @wheeboo ,, @ylliris-hanniehae ,, @icyminghao : thank you for being here!! even if we met only a couple days ago… you make me so happy, i love interacting with you n talking abt goofy stuff, you understand me so well and we get along so smoothly it’s making a lil heart really happy :( you make tumblr feel more like home <3

and to readers (if you made it to the end, wow. like, seriously. i personally wouldn’t 🏃‍♀️💨 so, thank you <3), my babies precious gems angels cuties patooties!! thank you so so much for supporting me and my work! i know i complain abt empty reblogs but it’s only bc they motivate me more lol!! i am truly grateful n blessed to have you, even ghost readers (i see you🫵)! without you, rhis blog wouldn’t exist today >_<

#why am i emotional #i sound like a broken record but again #thank you so much. i mean it.#txt fic #a is for axe’s rambles!!

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walkingaftermidnight07 · 1 year

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Kit x Ty Balcony oneshot

ackkk im so bad at writing my little intros to these so i apologize in advance lol

did i wait until new year's to post a oneshot that was requested weeks ago? yes, yes i did. in my defense. im shit at remembering to write stuff. on the bright side, i'm actually pretty proud of this one so....yeah.

anyways, my lovely friend @tys-kitty requested this a couple of weeks ago and I loved the idea so I had to write it!!! i believe it was inspired by a post by @aro-ace-cat-lady but i dont have the original post. whoops.

anyways, this is a KitTy first kiss *and sort of love confession* on the Chiswick balcony.

word count is abt 2k :D

make sure to reblog if you enjoyed it to help get this out to more people thank you very much. I am sending virtual hugs and kisses to all who take the time to reblog :)

if you want any more KitTy content from me, i have a playlist linked here as well as two oneshots of the reunion scene from sobh which are linked here and here. I ALSO TAKE REQUESTS FOR BOTH ONESHOTS AND PLAYLISTS.

anywayssss enjoy :DDDD

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sometimes Kit felt like Blackthorn Hall seemed to be closing in on him. The shadows felt like they were growing, wrapping around him. Suffocating him. Despite everything that Emma and Julian had done to fix it up, there was just something about it…

If Kit was being honest, he kind of hated it here. It gave him shivers and made him feel like he was being watched from all directions. He couldn’t tell if it was because of Blackthorn Hall’s history, or because of the fact that it used to be haunted by a ghost, or because there was something demonic about it, lurking in the shadows…

Or maybe it was because of what happened last time he had been here with certain members of the Blackthorn family. And while yes, parts of that had been resolved, Kit still thought often about that stupid day in the kitchen with the stupid gun. And with Ty.

Speaking of Ty, he’d disappeared. He’d left the kitchen this morning at breakfast, giving some vague excuse to the rest of the Blackthorns and Tessa and Jem about some reading for the Scholomance, but Kit had a feeling that was bullshit. And now it was afternoon and Ty was nowhere to be seen. He didn’t reappear for training with Dru and Tavvy. Nor for lunch. And Kit wasn’t sure whether he should look for him or not. Was this normal for Ty?

It hit Kit yet again, as it always did, that he didn’t know Ty anymore. Once, he would’ve known without any hesitation where to find him, and whether or not he’d want to be found. Hell, he’d probably be with Ty already, wouldn’t have felt the need to look for him because he was already being included in Ty’s bubble.

Now…well…they couldn’t avoid each other. Not with everything that had been going on. But apparently they could still go without talking to each other beyond a basic level. Nothing beyond that. Ty wouldn’t even look at him. He’d been at Blackthorn Hall with his family all week, and he could count on one hand the amount of times Ty had even looked in his general direction.

Dru had been telling him he needed to fucking talk to Ty, but he kept holding it off. This was his chance, he might not get another one.

But he was so so scared. What could he even say to Ty? How could he explain to him how he felt? How could he even ask Ty what Ty was feeling? Did he even want to know what Ty was feeling? Kit feared it would hurt too much.

The door to Kit’s room opened and Dru strode in. She stalked right over to where he was lying on the bed, and she grabbed him by the ankle, yanking him off the bed swiftly. He landed on his ass on the ground, staring at her in confusion. She was glaring at him.

“Hey, what was that for??” He groaned, rubbing his hip. “That hurt, you know?”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re fine, Kit, don’t be so dramatic.”

Kit stuck his tongue out at her and she cracked a smile. She offered him a hand up and he took it.

“Okay, but seriously, why did you do that?”

“Kit.” She stared at him intently. “My dear friend. My darling friend. My favorite person. My—”

“Okaaayyy, get to the point, Dru,” He grumbled.

She sighed. “I can’t find him, okay? I’m worried. He seemed kind of upset earlier, but I didn’t wanna say anything…but when he didn’t come down for lunch…”

Kit didn’t reply. He just looked at her. “Fine. I’ll look.”

She smiled. “Thank you, Kit.”

He shrugged. “Sure.”

As he left the room she called after him, “And remember what we’ve talked about! Communication!!”

He decided it would be in his best interest to ignore her snarky comment and continued on.

He immediately went to the balcony at Blackthorn Hall, because he didn’t know where else to find him. And oddly enough….there he was.

Ty’s back was to Kit, but Kit could see Ty’s shoulders stiffen as he stepped closer. Ty could clearly tell that he was there. But he didn’t turn around.

An awkward silence settled over them both. Kit stared at Ty’s back as Ty continued to pretend like he wasn’t there. He was running through things to say in his head but nothing came to mind.

“Do you need something?” Ty finally said, straightening. He still didn’t turn around.

“Yes—I mean—No. I mean—” Kit couldn’t seem to find the words. “I just…wanted to make sure you were alright.”

Finally Ty turned to him. He wouldn’t meet Kit’s eyes but he nodded. “I’m fine. You can leave now.”

Kit bit his lip. He should’ve expected this, this harsh dismissal. After everything, he shouldn’t have expected anything else.

But he didn’t want that to be it. This was his chance. To try to fix everything.

So he took a step forward.

Ty furrowed his brows. “I said you can leave me alone now.”

“I heard you, Ty,” Kit said softly. He took another step closer. He leaned against the balcony railing next to Ty. “But I think I’m going to stay out here, with you. To keep you company.”

Ty chewed on his lip, his expression torn. He looked confused, and kind of…nervous. “Are you—have you…um. Nevermind.”

“Hmm?” Kit asked, his heart starting to beat a little faster, anxious to know what Ty wanted to say.

“Nothing, sorry,” Ty said. Kit glanced over and noticed that Ty’s hands were clenched on the railing.

Fuck it, here was his chance.

“Ty.”

Ty turned his head a little quicker than Kit suspected he meant to. “Yes?”

“I forgive you,” Kit said softly. Now it was him who couldn’t meet Ty’s eyes. His stomach was all fluttery as he waited for Ty’s response.

“What?”

“A while ago, you asked me how long it would take for me to forgive you and I told you I didn’t know,” Kit continued, closing his eyes as he remembered that horrible day, remembered his harsh words to Ty. He’d still been angry then. Still been hurt. Still felt like it was impossible to love or be loved. Now he realized how wrong he’d been. He knew now that he still loved Ty, just like he had when they were fifteen. Like he always would. His anger had subsided and all he felt when he thought back to those interactions was regret. He wished he’d been there for Ty when Ty had needed him most. “Well, now I know.”

“Kit.”

Kit turned slowly to face Ty. “Yeah?”

Ty reached out and grasped Kit’s hands. “You had every right to hate me. I know that now. I shouldn’t have expected you to forgive me. You still have every right to hate me.”

“But I don’t,” Kit blinked. “I don’t hate you. I could never hate you, Ty. I—”

“Don’t say it,” Ty said. “Please.”

Kit froze. His hands dropped from Ty’s. If he was honest, he hadn’t expected Ty to say it back. At least not in the way he wanted Ty to. But it still stung, not even being allowed to get the words out.

Ty peered at Kit’s face, and his own face fell. “I’ve offended you, haven’t I?”

“No, no you’re fine,” Kit said, aware how hollow his voice sounded. But he couldn’t help it. He was embarrassed all over again. “I can’t expect you to reciprocate, can I? Some things just aren’t meant to be—”

Ty’s brows furrowed. He looked confused. Then his expression became one of determination.“No, sometimes, I think they are.”

And then Ty grabbed Kit gently, and pulled him in for a kiss.

Every emotion flooded through Kit at once. This was the last thing he’d expected from this conversation. But now here he was, Ty grabbing him by the shirt, their lips pressed together—

And his entire brain was malfunctioning. He couldn’t form coherent thoughts. All he knew is that he liked it (perhaps too much) and that he was kissing Ty back. He didn’t touch Ty, instead he gripped the balcony behind him, letting Ty take the lead. He only wanted whatever Ty wanted; nothing more, nothing that could be out of Ty’s comfort zone.

Kit had expected Ty to be more hesitant, but he wasn’t. He seemed almost desperate, like he was afraid Kit would push him away. And though Kit had kissed boys before, this was different. This was Ty. And any other person he’d ever kissed was completely and utterly forgettable to him in comparison to Ty. In fact, he had forgotten them. All he could think was Ty.

Then he heard the sound of someone coming onto the balcony. A voice followed the sound. “Kit, are you out here—”

Ty and Kit broke apart and turned to the voice. It was Tessa….with a sleeping Mina in her arms.

Tessa was staring at them, surprised. Her surprise turned into a small smile.

“Am I interrupting anything?”

Ty let go of Kit’s shirtfront and Kit straightened up. “Um, no. Hi…”

“Hi, Kit,” Tessa said, outright smirking now. Kit’s cheeks flushed bright red and he noticed that Ty was looking everywhere but at Kit or Tessa. “Sorry about that. I was coming to ask if you wouldn’t mind putting Mina to bed for her nap…but you seem busy so I’ll do it. No worries.” She turned and started walking away. She called back over her shoulder with an amused voice, “You kids have fun, see you later. I’ll make sure no one bothers you.”

Kit wanted to crawl under a rock and hide. That was embarrassing to say the least.

Ty coughed.

Kit turned back to him. “I’m so sorry–”

Ty pulled him in for another kiss. This one was just a quick brush of lips but it was enough to shut Kit up and offer a sheepish smile.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while,” Ty said, sounding almost surprised to hear the words come out of his mouth. “So that’s what all the fuss is about.”

Oh.

“It was better than I was expecting,” Ty mused. “Probably because it was you.”

“So that means—”

“I liked it, Kit,” Ty said, moving so that he was leaning on the balcony next to Kit. He brushed his hand against Kit’s ever so slightly. “I like you. I never understood what people meant by that until you. But now, I understand what that means. I understand that feeling.”

Kit rubbed his other hand over his burning face to try and bring the color out of it. “I—I don’t know what to say.”

Ty turned to him. “Yes, you do. You’re just afraid to because I cut you off earlier. But I only did that because I wanted you to know how I felt first.”

“Ty….” Kit said slowly. “Did you really mean it when you said that some things are meant to be?”

“Yes, of course,” Ty replied. “Of course I meant it. I always mean what I say, especially when it comes to you. It’s taken me a lot longer to get there, but I know how I feel now. And I would never even consider lying to you about those feelings, because they involve you too. And because I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I love you, Ty,” Kit said after a moment of processing Ty’s words. “I’ve always loved you, ever since we were kids. I never stopped. And I never will.”

Ty rubbed his eyes, and Kit realized Ty was crying a little bit.

“Can I hug you?”

Ty nodded, and Kit slid his arms around Ty’s shoulders. Ty held onto Kit tightly. They stood like that for a long time, even after Ty had stopped crying. Kit suspected that Ty was trying to make up for three years wasted. And he was completely fine with that. Nothing was better than the feeling of Ty’s arms around him, knowing that Ty felt something for him. He didn’t want to call it love necessarily, because it was Ty’s decision to call it that and he hadn’t yet, but it was something. And Kit would take something.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

thanks for reading, lovely human!! plz reblog, like, and comment if you enjoyed!!!

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ms-demeanor · 2 years

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I love your blog a lot but im sorry i have to ask about how you post precise stories and photo of yourself and family all the time while still talking abt the importance of anonymity on internet, and also you show a lot of your very left tendencies -which is cool- n im just thinking about how its easy for dangerous right wing or government to track you or monitor your data... not rly a question sry lol but could y expand on why youre ok with these contradictions ?

I actually made a post a few years ago (it's somewhat updated now, and some of my attitudes have shifted) that talked about my attitude toward this stuff. Here's a relevant bit:

Telling people that they’re safer if they don’t post selfies is displacing the responsibility for institutional surveillance by blaming the people who are subject to surveillance. The point is that you have to understand you’re being observed whether you’re posting selfies or not.

If I'm being observed anyway I may as well post selfies and tell stories; I'm certainly not posting selfies of everything I do or telling stories about anything I've done where I've made an effort to be free from observation.

But that's mostly about the government watching.

I'm not concerned about, like, right-wing shitheads stalking me because they're generally more talk than action and I'm not someone who's likely to end up getting attention from the more serious fash based on my social media.

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somethingoriginal127 · 11 months

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the treatment of a young justin bieber and in turn my inability to see him as the enemy:

keeping my trend of just talking and giving my 2 cents on trending topics, in the matter of rich, cis white men being exposed as a literal scum of the earth people i am never moved or surprised. (i also don’t usually care bc it’s normally someone i was not a fan of before they were exposed for heinous behavior)

however i have never been able to shake my sympathy, understanding, and hesitance to write off the musician that is justin bieber. i just always feel as though there’s so much he deals with behind the scenes that we’ll never know about. that’s true of anyone famous but the reason i say this is because of the amount of documentaries this man has where they barely skim the surface of what he endured in the industry. the stuff they choose to discuss doesn’t even scratch the surface of even things we saw happen on live television

(early sexualization of a child, SA, SH, etc.)

his entire brand since he was 15 was also to essentially be a “boyfriend” to all his fans and the minute he dropped the persona because he wasn’t feeling up to being touched/groped/kissed/screamed at for the day he was in turn CRUCIFIED in the media for being a heinous human. which has always been so odd to me? like the media/general public has some sort of claim or ownership of his body since he was a developing child. it’s gross and it’s been like that since his formative years. (that has to be ridiculously damaging)

*update* i’m reading this back to make sure i articulated my thoughts in the way i wanted and i’m now angrier about his treatment then when i first typed it. bc why isn’t his body allowed to be his and why is he a villain for setting boundaries? bc he’s a boy? that’s actually is so disturbing to me the longer i sit with it. (no seriously i want you to think abt how physically and mentally he lost like all body autonomy at 14. and he has never gotten it back in all honesty.)

also him having a drug problem in (2014?) i think and knocking on deaths door at (18/19? years old) visibly deteriorating and reacting to his lifestyle/trauma he was given too young, adult celebs took to twitter to call him names and attack him when he was clearly a child (yes child idc that he was 18) crying for help was also extremely odd to me. laughing at the traumatized kid having a downward spiral and evidently no reliable adults in his life left a bad taste in my mouth, even then.

maybe it’s the blind items i keep seeing about his alleged SA or the clips of it happening from grown women in talk shows, or because the open discussion about his sex life/sexual preferences/when he was only 15 and growing up watching the general public use him (A KID) as a punching bag/toy for their own enjoyment gives me so much sympathy and is why i’ve always given him grace. it’s also worth noting those who are respected in hollywood and are close to him speak extremely highly of him which also makes me pause to think he’s not nearly as heinous as the media has always liked to paint him.

not to mention that interview he did with zane lowe ?? where he talks about wanting to protect billie eilish from what he endured in the industry because “he wouldn’t wish that upon anybody” and then starts to sort of crumple in on himself when speaking about it like he can’t even recount what he’s been through without it having a visible effect is SO sad/scary to me. that whole interview was very strange and sort of haunting actually.

to this day small things he does/says are blown up to insane headlines to make him look like he’s on some tirade and then you watch the clips with these insane titles and it’s just the man asking to be left alone for a little while ? he just seems like a deeply traumatized/cut individual to me.

i hate long post w no pictures or gifs so this is what justin bieber looks like if you didn’t know !😃

(i think everyone who’s had the internet longer than a week could identify this man in a line up of white men but i digress😭)

but that could just be because i witnessed his growing up in my lifetime so it feels closer than most lmao idk. it’s very possible i wouldn’t be as sympathetic if i didn’t watch him get broken down in real time.

#but hey maybe i’m wrong and he’s just scum #who knows these days #justin bieber #pop culture #child stars #child stardom #pop music #the only cis white male you’ll catch me defending like this😭#and i MEAN that lmao #watching him go from having fun being famous #to visibly hating life is sad to me idk #i find celeb culture interesting #and his upbringing specifically has had me curious from a very young age #also the rumor he’s getting britney treatment😬#i almost wish scooter never plucked him up #but that’s not totally true bc he rlly is a phenomenal performer #last thing i’m gonna add i think lmao #he’s also been the target of SO many fake stories ??#like at this point (ik he has done some shitty things i mean he’s been famous for over a decade #) i can’t even tell what he’s actually done and hasn’t #because they genuinely have been printing *proven* fake stories about him FOR YEARS #and he doesn’t even set anyone straight #he just minds his business usually

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dirkification · 6 months

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sorry to vent a little in your inbox but the post you made abt post-epilogue antitransmasculinity in the fandom hit me really hard. I was a fan since I was about 11/12 (early computer access blessing/curse) and I found out I was transmasc when I was 13. HS was my special interest, it was the thing I made friends though, the thing I made art for, and I was always very passionate about any trans content/hcs.

My peak enjoyment of the fandom was right after HS "ended" for the first time because I felt like I had the creative freedom to do whatever the fuck I wanted with fanfiction/art/hcs, which included having trans headcanons for most (if not all) of the characters. I felt like it was okay to have transfem, transmasc, and nb headcanons for the same character even (because paradox space/"nothing is Canon so anything can be").

I fully distanced myself from HS and anything to do with it after 2020 because of staying in the fandom/with those friendswas genuinely making me hate my gender/orientation. I really thought I was transphobic/transmisogynistic for having multiple trans hcs. The worst thing is that it happened right as I was starting HRT and trying to get my Top Surgery scheduled. I keep thinking about if I was making some massive mistake and having thoughts like "I wish I wasn't attracted to men, I wish I could just like women" or "Why couldn't I have just been a girl or agender" and even at one point after a pretty bad conversation with a (now ex) friend who was also trans "Should I even go on T? Will this just make me aggressive and a worse person?".

I honestly still struggle with a lot of that but I mostly feel upset about how I feel like I was pushed out of enjoying something that was so important to my developmental years and a community which previously (in like 2015-2019) was pretty accepting of my queerness. I had to throw out a lot of stuff and get rid of a lot of my memories just to start healing my relationship with my gender. I know it was never perfect but I miss it terribly. I tried to gaslight myself a little bit in 2021 that it wasn't "that bad" but the fandom/franchise (which it is at this point) immediately made me want to leave again. It really was that horrible.

I do enjoy your blog though, so sorry for my rambings.

I’m really sorry you went through that! It was definitely as bad as you remember but I understand how it can feel like it wasn’t since most people who were affected either moved on or don’t want to talk about it and newcomers… Well, I was in a server that had a homestuck channel that still had someone saying it was just transmisogyny that made people not like Kate rather than her rampant biphobia/transandrophobia/shitty behavior in general — and it’s not like she didn’t also harass trans fems who disagreed with her as well!

Of course the problem wasn’t just Kate it was a whole environment, including from other trans mascs which made it all the harder to deal with

Preaching to the choir, I know

Again, I’m sorry you dealt with that and I hope you now have a better relationship with your gender and sexuality! My ask box is always open if you need to vent

#jax yacks #ask Jax #anon #anonymous #hstwt 2019 #transandrophobia #biphobia #hstwt discourse

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kai-selfships · 10 months

Text

Random thing abt me and Rocket <3 (with some background me x Drax) this takes place a year or so after Vol3

This is self indulgent as helllll I’m actually so embarrassed

Kai knew every inch of his home. He had lived there only a few years, but the place was small (considering it housed three people), and he was the one who planned all the renovations and decor.

He knew every item in the place, too. Or at least the ones he bought, anyway. Sometimes Drax would accidentally break something and try to hide it, but Kai knew exactly how many glasses they owned, how many plates, how many bowls— probably too many for just the three of them, but Kai just loved the ones with pretty designs, or the colored glass. He loved his home in general

Anyway, the point is, Kai always noticed immediately when things were out of place— though he wouldn’t consider this particular item out of place, just new.

A framed photo. It hung magnetized to one of the empty walls in the kitchen.

It was small and worn and one of the corners had torn off. Kai didn’t even think they had a photo printing place on Knowhere— it must have been old.

The other indication of its age was the picture itself— it was of him and Rocket. Obviously a selfie from Rocket’s phone, with him smiling in the background.

Kai deduced from his own appearance (longer hair, pointed canine teeth, dark circles under his eyes) that the photo must have been taken shortly after the Guardians had gotten together. He recognized that it was taken on Peter’s Milano, but didn’t recall the exact occasion. That must have been almost fifteen years ago…

Realizing that he had been lost in thought, Kai took the photo off the wall so he could take it out of its frame. He flipped it over. The back didn’t have a date, it just read ME AND KAI, scrawled in messy, shaky handwriting. Kai smiled fondly.

He replaced the photo on the wall and continued his original task of making lunch for himself.

Rocket got home late that night; he had spent all day working on an invention in his workshop.

Kai was on the couch, relaxing while watching a movie. He paused it when he heard the door open, smiling. “Hey, how was your day?”

“Alright. Anything leftover from dinner?”

Kai stood and joined Rocket in the entryway, where he was locking the door after himself.

“Some. I’ll come eat with you.” Kai said, smiling.

Rocket told Kai about what he was building while he took of his boots and jacket, which always took him a while, especially after a long day and when he was distracted like this. Kai waited patiently, not really understanding the technology stuff he talked about, but content nonetheless.

“So anyway, how’ve you been?” Rocket asked as he stood up a few minutes later.

“Good. Drax and I holochatted with Mantis earlier; she invited us all to come visit her sometime.” Kai replied.

“Oh really? Sounds like fun.”

Kai nodded, hesitating a moment. “I also found something nice in the kitchen,”

Rocket didn’t meet Kai’s eyes. “What was it?” He feigned ignorance as he hopped up into his seat.

“Look,” Kai took the picture off the wall to show Rocket, briefly wondering how he had hung it up so high. “Its a picture of us. Did you hang it up?” He smiled wider before turning around to get himself and Rocket a bowl of leftover soup.

“Maybe.” Rocket answered curtly. “You can take it down if you want.”

Kai put a bowl in the microwave and started it. “No, I really like it. I just wanted to ask you about it.”

A few minutes later, the pair sat across from each other at the table, waiting for their food to cool.

“How long have you had it?” Kai asked, still smiling.

“I don’t know, a couple years…” Rocket said a little shyly. “I used to carry it with me, but I spend most of my time here now, so…” he trailed off, self consciously tugging on his cheek fur.

Kai had never pegged Rocket for the sentimental type. “Why me?”

“Huh?”

“I mean, we weren’t even dating back then—“

Rocket covered his face, embarrassed. “Well, you were my best friend… whatever, it doesn’t matter.”

Kai grinned. “That’s so sweet!”

Rocket grumbled. “Shut up. Its not sweet.“

“Aw, but you carried around a picture of me!”

Rocket began eating his soup. “Not all the time.” He muttered.

Kai laughed. He took a bite from his own bowl, enjoying the rich taste. Drax is an amazing cook.

He studied the picture again, feeling his heart swell with love.

He could tell from his angry-looking eyebrows that Rocket was embarrassed to be even taking the photo in the first place.

Looking at himself had Kai feeling a little bittersweet. He looked tired… he recalled having a few months of nightmares after the fight on Xandar. The smile was genuine, however.

Man, those were the days… living on a cramped ship with his best friends— only friends, at the time— stealing shit and helping people, exploring the Galaxy… Peter’s music and dancing, caring for a young Groot, Drax’s laughter— sometimes Kai missed how things were.

Kai pulled out his phone and took a picture of the picture.

“What’re you doing?” Rocket asked.

Kai shrugged. “I want to be able to see it whenever. Think I can send it to Peter?”

Rocket scoffed. “Hell no. Don’t want to give him any more material for makin’ fun of me.”

Kai smiled. “Alright.”

Some things are still the same, he thought as he finished up his midnight snack.

#a beloved mutual gave me the confidence to actually post this #also red if you see this I just learned your name I’m sorry if my posts about Red Guy (dhmis) are weird to read cause you have the same name #gotg tag

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triciaofsteel · 7 months

Text

South Park romance hcs, except I’m Aroace and don’t know the first thing about romance

(this whole thing is a slash jay, also aged up cuz like???? Duh???) edit: bro I started working on this at around 2 am and then I blinked and now it’s 3 am what the scallop

Edit 2: ok cool I just figured out how to put the read more thing that’s pretty nifty

Also sorry if any of these feel ooc it is WAYYY too late for my mind to process anything rn it’s mush these are just the bits and pieces that I’ve picked up from the slop

I only have Kyle, Leslie, Stan, Clyde, Kenny, and Bebe for now but I’ll like.. edit it later I guess, later when I get more brainworms (also totally not self projecting onto them. Yes I know I’m a total loser)

Kyle: ASEXUAL KYLE CANON ASEXUAL KYLE CANON!!! /srs HES LITERALLY ME

-Has realllyyy big problems with expressing emotions aka feelings in general it’s an autism thing (like Craig)

-Which also makes him all weird with like physical contact n stuff?? “Get ur dirty paws offa me” typa shit

-ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO STUFF LIKE POKING/PRODDING!! He will probably sucker punch just about anyone who gets close and honestly, not feel sorry about it (I wouldn’t either)

-love language is…. Nothing. Lmao

-jkjk it’s probably some shit like gift giving??? But like, in a different way than you think. Just think about that one “can I just do your laundry someday” scene, but instead of laundry it’s homework. what is that love language called someone please tell me I actually have no idea what I’m talking about.

-he thinks about stuff logically a lot of the time, which is why he’ll like NEVER pick up on any hints whatsoever.

-the more I write the more I realize I’m making him sound too much like Craig. Uh

-what is love (baby don’t hurt me..)

-if he EVER does confess, (he won’t.) he’ll probably do it in your like, insta/facebook dms, there is NO way this mf is actually gonna ask someone out face to face

-absolutely despises the idea of uhhh. Yknow. Jacking it in San Diego. WHY???? BECAUSE TRANSMASC KYLE!!!!!!! This is actually canon I’m Matt and Trey.

-he will not make exceptions because he’s in love or whatever (he’s not) you still gotta keep up ur side bc he’s not entirely head over heels!!! He’s not!!!(I think he’s learned his lesson from Leslie)

-single kyle: “bro I hate relationships so bad bro couples need to shut up fr”

-double Kyle: “bro I hate relationships so bad bro I need to shut up fr”

-I feel like he’d be the type to not be able to distinguish platonic feelings from romantic feelings. Why? Because me

-you HAVE to be direct with him because he’ll never be able to figure out anything otherwise. Ur sad? Tell him ur sad. Wait actually don’t he has no idea how to comfort ppl

-best he can do is an awkward pat on the back and a mumble “it gets better…?” 💀 or, if he’s pissed, “wtf am I supposed to do abt that”

-if someone confessed to him first, it would probably go something like this

“I love you”

“???? Are you being /srs or /j???”

“I love you”

“Wow haha that’s so silly never say that again”

or maybe even just a straight up “ew” 💀

-Cupid (Twin Ver)

Leslie!!!

-Leslie is actually Lesbian + aroace oriented . I don’t make the rules sorry, tho the aroace part is more dominant, it’s more like aroace + lesbian oriented

-similar thing with Kyle, but instead of being rude/straightforward about it, she’ll either gaslight you or do this:

“oh, you love me? That’s so funny!! I do too :3”

“Really?”

“yeah!!!”

“Does that mean we can date???”

“What? No!!! I meant that I also love me.”

“…”

“stupid bitch”

-I love her

-was torn between making her lesbian and making her aroace so fuck it we both

-I think she hates men (I do too /j)

-typa girl to run around breaking people’s hearts for the pure fun of it (Michael Jackson reference???)

-she thinks love is a joke. Like genuinely.

Stan:

-…

-I genuinely don’t know how I’m supposed to characterize this guy

-he canonically jacks it in San Diego so that’s something I guess

-his dog was gay you guys

-bi

-rly hope ur ok with being vomited on (I am not)

-just think of the PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE thing

-gets rly defensive whenever anyone asks him about Wendy

-responds with 👍 or “k” to confessions

-would probably be a discord kitten for nitro /j

-Cupid (jack stauber)

Clyde:

-This man is ALSO bi

-hey 😏 what’s going on 😏

-love language is giving discord nitro /j

“I love you”

“I’m so sorry bro”

-I saw someone say that being bi and single is like playing on both sides of a sports team and still losing. Yeah that’s him, L rizz 😂😂🤣🤣🤣

-this bitch has both Tinder AND Grinder and still remains lonely

-probably because he starts off EVERY conversation with a terrible ass pick up line

“hey bbg sorry I gave you lice but relationships are all about sharing everything with each other😍😍😍”

-PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE thing, but it’s with EVERYONE

Kenny

-there are two types of people, people who say that Kenny is “the straightest kid in South Park” and people who know the TRUTH

-this man is the biggest slut ever

-wasn’t he a prostitute once

-Relationship red flag: he once ate an entire banana with the peel on during a date. Partner horrified, broke up like a day later

-honestly, there’s not much to say, it’s literally kenny

“what’s your love language”

“money”

“MONEY???? BRO AINT NOBODY SPEAK 💴💴💸💶💶💸💎💎💸💵💷💎💰🪪💰💰💶💳🪪”

(it’s actually physical contact but we don’t talk about that)

Bebe

-I love lesbians!

-omni maybe? (Girl leaning)

-Unfortunately scared of relationship commitment

-I’m pretty sure she’s been hit up on multiple times, every time she ghosts/friend zones them

-Has a long distance relationship with Clyde despite living in the same town??

-would probably leave a guy in a restaurant and make him pay the bill

“damn, look at that ass!! 😍😍”

-I feel like she listens to pinkpantheress and maybe coco and Clair Clair

-love language is shoes

#south park hcs #kyle broflovski #sp kyle #leslie meyers #sp leslie #stan marsh #sp stan #clyde donovan #sp clyde #kenny mccormick #sp kenny #bebe stevens #sp bebe

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pashminalamb · 1 year

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I am. I just. I cannot. BREAKING MIRRORS???? ADHKHHIJJDJHDHRHHHRHEH. Comfort? I feel like it’s been so long since I’ve read comfort on your blog 💀💀. Not that it’s a bad thing, the angst is exquisite, but like hurt/comfort is one of my favorite tropes. This was also exactly what I needed. I’ve been feeling really down abt my body lately how it’s too big and not proportioned right and how my face looks gross. Stuff like that you know? I was not expecting to be hit with this kind of comfort. It’s exactly what I needed so thank you so much for writing it.

Shirtless fictional characters are always a great motivation 😌. Oh speaking of which i might just hop on Pinterest and start looking for Izana fanart 👀👀. I WILL NEVER BE ANNOYED IF YOU START POSTING TR CONTENT ON YOUR BLOG WHETHER THEY BE FICS OR MANGA PANELS ILL TAKE THEM ALL. *ahem* Also. I went into the episode expecting to fall harder for Nagi. But no. I fell for Reo as soon as I saw him. THE HECK WHAT IS THIS SORCERY I DONT KNOW A SINGLE THING ABT HIM AND IM IN LOVE HES JUST AADGJKHFHHFRR YES. When you say you’re excited abt posting your angst wips my guard goes up immediately it’s not even funny anymore like pls I wanna say spare me but I also need more at the same time 😭💀. I read your post and I’m so excited for more Bachira and Chigiri content!!!! Bachira being my favorite character and all. And also Chigiri during the last episode shot an arrow into my heart. Even tho I had some reservations abt him before watching the episode its all good now. I have another pretty boy to love 🥰.

DUDE I NEED TO TALK ABT THE FIC CAUSE IM JUST ASTONISHED. Like Nagis was so so so sweet if made me go awww so many times. And Oliver made me giggle a lot it’s adorable. And Rins? Phew sir no need to mess with me like that 😮‍💨. I also really liked how you described all the negative thoughts of the reader. A lot of them are what I think abt myself when I’m not feeling the best so it was really relatable reading it. Thank you again I don’t think you know how much reading that meant to me it’s exactly what I needed seriously.

How are you btw? How’s uni? Also I’ve been meaning to ask but what’re some of your favorite things? Like in general? Shows and mangas and books and snacks etc? I always get on here ranting abt stuff but I wanna let you know that I wanna get to know you too. It’s a two way straight you know? Only if you’re comfortable sharing ofc. I hope you’re taking care of yourself and that you have a good day!! *sends virtual hugs*

- ✨ anon

Starry! ♡⸜(˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝ I hope yk i changed the screensaver of my phone to tr - I blame you for that (lovingly ♡)

This is gonna be a long ask ;

So i had this idea for a while and since I have a hub of angst works on my blog, I wanted to try a hand at comfort but with an angst to fluff (yeah i love that troupe as well) the reason I made this piece is cause of both, to indulge myself in writing comfort as well as to comfort people who are reading it and another element was capturing the realism of it... like. Usually when I read body positivity fics... the details of it are very vague. I wanted to put in something that was more descriptive, reasons why you hate that part of yourself- tiny details that do matter; and I ended up creating this. I was hesitant in posting this at first but then I reminded myself that it was for me and for a person on the other side of the screen who could be comforted by it when they couldn't really talk about these to someone or just in general.

And I'm glad it worked ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡ And I hope you feel better now

I plan on making more editions and going further, it might include more sensitive topics as well-

Istg. When i saw kunigami without a shirt *saves image*, and Rin *saves image*, Nagi *saves image* but I really wanna see Oliver

૮₍˶Ó﹏Ò ⑅₎ა

Oh god Izana fanart. I did find one on twitter and istg the amount I- reason for my laughter. (contemplating if i should make this my screensaver or not)

I have a tr content supporter!! I had an idea in mind for the tr boys in mind- and since i got hyped for it. I'm gonna start working on that once i read the manga cause i wanna make sure this fits in the character analysis as well. Rindou came to mind for some reason

Chigiri is pretty! I can't stress enough on how he looks good and I even figured the footballer he is based on- Reo is officially Nagi's caretaker; so mature.

Oml i'm making a reputation for myself with the angst i write... but there's the thing; for every angsty piece i write, i always make sure to put a sequel that is equally satisfying and comforting (in a weird way and not in the complete lovey dovey way) it takes time to make those because if I rush it, it doesn't end well with me being angry about the low quality I wrote and the readers being unsatisfied as well... but yeah I know what I wanna write for Bachira and Kaiser (yes. Kaiser is arriving on his royally spoilt ass on this blog)

Going back to the fic, so on how I write nagi I use a lot of the "..." cause I imagine him to be a timed pause speaker; as for Oliver. He is playful and yeah that made me giggle too. (its the 'cold cup of water' isn't it?) as for Rin go to horny jail *bonk* i couldn't imagine him to be the type to talk these kinds of problems out cause he is rude. and he knows it so he dommed his way through it (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ) and i am not sorry.

So i know that my bio says 'part time model' but truth is; most of the content is based on my experience. like i mentioned before, the details of body positivity fics are very vague. But what I wanted to do was get down and dirty with it, expose everything and not keep it under wraps because it continues to be hidden yk? people can't openly talk about it when these kind of minor things do exist and they can cause a person's confidence to tarnish and maybe have other people think less of them. And I hoped that this would make someone's morning read when they're getting ready for college, uni, work etc. when they aren't feeling their best and need that kind of confidence... even if it is just from reading my works. and always, you're welcome !! it means a lot to me when my writing helps someone even in the smallest ways ♡꒰ᵕ༚ᵕ⑅꒱

i'm doing pretty well, working on some research papers and stuff, working out as well just having a slow and easy week and keeping everything in balance yk? Roomies are helping me with the weights at the gym- said i was a pussy if i didn't get another lift in. istg i'm gonna smack their ass with a wet towel this week

As for uni, new story. Another classmate of mine, lets call him victor, tall as a tree just walks up to me during recess the other day and goes 'that is one ugly shirt.' he looks like he hasn't even showered for a month and turned up to class wearing pajamas. fucking. pajamas. ugh. (I did tell him that if that's the way he flirts, I'm surprised his ex didn't break up with him sooner- i am not sorry. )

Some of my favorite things... hm. That's a tough one.

I like rainy days, dogs (i want a cerberus so badly- ⸝⸝⸝╸▵╺⸝⸝⸝; i'm good with cats but some of them like to scratch me for some reason?- childhood memory unlocked), pink shirts - i have a lot of them and my roomie steals them, warm blankets, swimming, basketball (i play), red roses, oceans, perfumes, plushies, bears and whales, music, working out, sketching, traveling, reading and just... talking to people.

Shows : I was watching skam (not the french one- the Norwegian one), normal people, extraordinary attorney woo young woo, dark (that. show.), sense8 is on my watchlist- i did watch a bit of it but never got to complete it, the tail of the nine tailed- i wanna finish it but it was stretched out and i didn't want to watch after a bit (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)

My roomies are into k drama and they think anime is 'cartoon.' - when they see the budget used int he eps tho (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)

Anime : there is a lot since I've been watching anime since i was 5, Zatchbell/ gashbell was my first and i watch it sometimes, sailormoon, bleach (never got completed), Jojo's bizarre adventure (watched it all the way to stone ocean- god. the joestar fam is so blessed, Lisalisa (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ) , Tokyo rev (i was watching it with my mom and she got mad when I watched an ep without her), death note (my dad got invested with it and then dropped it- let me see if i can get him to watch bllk this christmas cause he is a football maniac), kaichou wa maid sama (my fav misaki is my idol), blue exorcist, hanayori no dango (this was used to make boys over flowers), kuroko no basuke, Kamisama Hajimemashita (my mom loves it -), Tomie, another, naruto, yamishibai, AOT ( my siblings just have debates about the whole conspiracy on the table and this time,,, I know its gonna be about tr) - there are a lot more animes so i might have to make a separate post abt that

Snacks : Since I'm part asian... ik you guys are (probably) gonna figure out a bit of my ethnicity cause of it Guava with chilli powder and salt. It tastes amazing and its healthy too; pears, apples. Pocky, pringles, coke (yeah i have an unhealthy side too) and meiji's yan yan a lot of chocolate.

Manga/ books : Blue lock (caught up with it), slam dunk, tomie, chainsawman, tokyo rev - i think i have some panels saved, black butler, bleach, your lie in april, skip beat, nana, don't bully me nagatoro - yeah i've read one too many manga (even that hentai one that released earlier this year) and I bought one- confidential confessions

Books : my fav is probably anne of green gables - read it when i was younger but it is still fresh in my memory, reading Sigmund Freud (interpretation of dreams...), memoirs of a geisha (a gift from my aunt), verity (something that kinda but doesn't haunt me), sherlock holmes and the hounds of the baskerville was my first novel, it was kinda a picture book.

It's a mess ik. but i mostly read non fic works as i grew older. And yeah it goes both ways! idm sharing !! ꒰ᐢ. ̫ .ᐢ꒱

Tell me about you! Only if you want to tho!

*sending back big hugs*

Presenting Bachira in a b day suit \(//∇//)\

#Belle.☏#.lost sheep : ✨ anon

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bcofl0ve · 10 months

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honestly i’m not into the type of content you post but there’s no reason for people to get nasty. you’re a human being and people can express disagreement politely, no matter what happened, two wrongs don’t make a right, and nobody should be harassing anyone either way. i don’t know the full story here but this kind of behavior is never acceptable. sorry people are being mean!

the origin of all this was: in january i stumbled upon a post with like 40+ notes of her and some others talking about disliking my use of the austin tag. i was really taken aback bc *no one* had come directly to me, not even by anon, about my tag system, then boom i was seeing mutuals and blogs i really liked gathering in a public complaint session about me. i was admittedly a little bitey about not wanting to change how i tag things (and idk if y’all have noticed but i don’t use the austin tag as liberally now that we talk a lot more abt him and kaia since he’s not doing much. i try to keep posts tagged with his name to 1-3 per xyz specific topic if it’s related to someone other than him). but it was coming from a place of frustration that no one came to me personally. linds did message me directly, eventually, and i was trying to take my time with responding so i could draft up what i wanted to say civilly. but by the time i went to send it an hour later she had blocked me. which objectively, fine. i was frustrated bc i was going to try and talk things out with her, but i’ve always said ppl can block me if they please so, it was what it was.

the main issues however started shortly after all that. people that already didn’t like me and were aware of our falling out went to use her as a sounding board. which she happily welcomed, and she posted numerous anons of people accusing me of harassment and bullying without any actual stories of when i did that/what i did. there was one anon in particular that genuinely really hurt, because they were saying i left the theatre industry bc people hated my broadway gossip tumblr, which isn’t true. my blog was generally liked. i distanced myself from the theatre industry because i was groomed for 4 years by an industry professional and exposing my groomer and seeing first hand how little theatre cares about abusers (the alice ripely stuff happened not long after i exposed my groomer, and i exposed mine around when scott rudin was finally getting ran out) made me want nothing to do with it anymore. i have been open about why i left theatre, and incase they missed that made a post asking for someone who wasn’t blocked to ask linds to take that particular anon down. but i don’t think it ever happened.

as for the kaia stuff- i gen think that was born from her just wanting to be the anti thesis to my gossip. which is…interesting when the whole reason she was upset about me using the austin tag ‘too much’ was because she thought gossip was disrespectful. but here we are.

that’s the gist of ‘what happened’, and sorry it’s so long i tried to make it as brief as possible. thank for your kindness. <3

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astrobei · 1 year

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Also any other fanfic writing tips? Do you have thoughts on chaptered fics vs longer one-shots? Do you ever struggle with characters feeling ooc?

I'm working my way up to finishing a couple WIPs and am very very nervous about posting them on ao3 😬😬

ooshdjsfh i think it’s funny when ppl ask me for writing advice bc i am a Mess but i will try my hardest to be helpful w this!

for the first bit, personally i’m a fan of oneshots, both writing and reading (there are exceptions for both ofc!!) just because i usually don’t have the attention span to write or read chaptered fics unless they’re finished and under 5 chapters ! but both of my chaptered fics are/were chaptered literally because i wrote too much to make it a oneshot without it feeling kind of clunky and awkward LOL i don’t usually write fics with big fleshed out plots anyway, and it’s more like a general storyline with a focus on individual scenes instead of the overarching plot, so i’ll write it all in one go! and i always write more than i think i will, so stories i plan to be like 10-15k ALWAYS end up at least 20k somehow 😭 personally i just rly appreciate when chaptered fics are consistent w uploading (as much as possible for the author) because it’s really hard for me to commit otherwise, which is why i don’t rly write them myself!!

and Oh My God anon,, i struggle CONSTANTLY w characters feelings ooc im always so concerned w my mike especially, since so much of s3 and 4 was more will pov and we didn’t get as much of an insight into mike’s internal struggles and thoughts like we did with will (the castle byers scene, van scene, jonathan talk, etc) so i’m always worried that the way i interpret him is not the same way that others might! and characters like lucas and dustin and max are easier since their povs in the show have stayed pretty consistent since their first appearances, and even will is easier for me to write (although i prefer mike which is pretty obvious maybe LOL) but mike Stresses Me Out a lot,, whew !!

if ur having trouble w that my advice (or at least what i do, take it w a grain of salt siskfjsjf) is think whether or not u could imagine this character saying that in the show. like, if this dialogue was added to a scene would it feel weird and out of place? do they usually use words like that? are there words used in the show specific to this character? (e.g: robin with “dingus”) i do take a lot of creative liberty w characters like mike and will especially when writing fluff fics, since so much of s4 and the end of s3 has been Sad and we haven’t gotten much humorous interaction from them, but i always try to ask myself if it’s true to their dynamic. like, mike would never ever pull off being suave and cool (except maybe in will’s unreliable narrator pov) because he gets flustered and is kind of an idiot and will is canonically a little bitchy and a little snarky and one of the only people who can put mike in his place so .

and thinking abt their motivations and Why they act/think the way they do: in byler’s case for example, will is selfless to a fault where he keeps putting other people before him, he’s so scared of his own needs making him selfish or a bad person that he often backpedals too far trying to amend that (s4!!) but he gets frustrated pretty easily (he’s the one that’s Started both of the infamous byler fights, the one that blows up first) and isn’t afraid to call mike out on things !! vs mike who tries really really hard, and has so much love for the people in his life but he’s inexperienced in it and doesn’t know how to show it in the way they want (saying ily to el, being a good friend to will) and a lot of his own inner monologue being fueled by the fear that the people in his life don’t need him anymore and yk . stuff like that . idk i just think abt these things a lot when i write!

anyways i am not qualified in the slightest to give any of this advice so FEEL FREE TO IGNORE THIS !! but anon if u ever end up publishing those wips (pls do) PLEASE don’t hesitate to drop me a link i’d love to check them out! posting fics can be rly scary but my advice would be to have as much fun with it as u can! play around w tropes and dialogue and writing styles and povs as much as u want. it can be easy to get caught up in writing what u think ppl want to read or thinking u Have to write smth bc someone asked for it but literally just write whatever u want (that’s like . not insane and awful for obvious reasons) and enjoy urself!!

hope this helped !! <3

#why r people asking me for advice #i’m a loser #a LOSER #IDK WHAT IM DOING #ask #fic

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eldritch-thrumming · 3 months

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I sent the original ask about the nyt article and I just wanted to apologize for upsetting you and missing the mark there. I meant no offense. I did read the article before I sent that ask and upon reflection, as a gay woman, I think I was triggered by the notion of "speculation." I was forced out against my will and before I was ready years ago in college because of rumors, so that's the lens with which I read the article. and that's also why I thought the nyt was in the wrong and deserving of the critique, which was a knee jerk reaction on my part. the nyt isn't staffed by the same people who wrote lists of why they "knew" I was gay in college on facebook, but it felt similar and I apologize for projecting.

I'm not in the Taylor 'fandom,' so to speak, so all I knew about was her music, the general discussions in mainstream media, and her Vogue interview where she said that she only recently learned she could support a community "she isn't part of" which is why I asked. clearly, my own lived experiences got in the way of me reading the article critically. I genuinely just didn't realize everything that's happened, and I meant no offense or ill-will. betrayal is painful and I'm truly so sorry that you've had to feel this way about someone you've been a fan of for so long.

i deeply appreciate this follow up message, this is actually probably going to make me cry rn tbh.

i’m sorry that something like that happened to you and i can certainly appreciate how traumatizing it can to be to be forced to publicly confront ur sexuality before ur ready.

my emotions on this have been heightened for the past 24 hours and i don’t mean to be aggressive towards members of my own community that may be feeling other things in the wake of these articles.

i think what’s important with the t*ylor sw*ft stuff is remembering that she’s a public figure, whereas you were and are not. most of the things we know abt her are released by her and her team—lyrics, biographical info, who she’s seen with, who she talks abt, what she wears, where she goes. she’s a brand and she markets that brand with intention. and it’s just my own belief that if she doesn’t want to be perceived as gay or gay-adjacent or whatever, then she should stop presenting herself in that way and referencing so much of what’s important to queer fans. this would be the equivalent of me wearing a carabiner on my belt loop every day to the coffee shop and then getting offended when woman comes up to me to ask me on a date, you know? it’s hurtful to be used for monetary gain and then vilified for it. people were invading our privacy and private life and making it public in a way that you didn’t and wouldnt.

so yeah. i really appreciate this message a lot, so thank you so much for sending it. i’ve been going through it today lol

[also just a note, because i have to be like this unfortunately lol, but this is the full context of the vogue interview you’re referring to:

I ask her, why get louder about LGBTQ rights now? “Rights are being stripped from basically everyone who isn’t a straight white cisgender male,” she says. “I didn’t realize until recently that I could advocate for a community that I’m not a part of …”

it’s phrased in a way where she’s talking abt any community that is not cis white males… not specific to the gay community. she’d been making references to allyship way earlier than this (this was the lover era), like in the mean music video and in the lyrics to welcome to new york (and queer references in new romantics but i won’t go on a tangent here lol)]

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1moreoffkeyanthem · 3 months

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Ok this hasn’t been asked abt BUT

I got OrangeJuiceVerse Stan on the brain (again)

Specifically in terms of his protectiveness.

In the last OJV ask I got I mentioned that he and Kyle have the most parental tendencies of the Star Seven, and boy oh boy do I have some thoughts on Stan’s knight in shining armor complex!

I won’t get into the Kyle part of that bc 1) I have talked wayyyy too much abt that on ao3 and here, and 2) that’s a whole separate long ass post and I would probably combust.

But!!! First focusing on the M5:

So growing up together they were all generally referred to as “Stan’s Gang”, which he was like wait why are they my gang but then he grew to love that bc they were his people. He loves them with all of his soul (ojverse Stan is a lover for sure) and he is EXTREMELY protective of everyone and kind of (smh this man) sees himself as the dad of the crew. Done with everyone’s bs, the “fun” parent. A lot of that comes from his resentment of Randy, his desire to keep everyone out of true danger and not be flaky despite his own problems. This is especially poignant with Kenny.

So Stan and Kyle VERY much see Kenny as “their egg” (yes I’m borrowing from the “Stan is a protective father” note of that episode) and they really look out for him growing up bc of his shitty home life. Really all of the M5 have a soft spot for Ken, but Stan and Kenny understand each other on a spiritual level. Though Stan doesn’t consciously know abt Kenny’s immortality and IS his Ride Or Die Disaster Bi in all things reckless, the second something goes wrong he’s there, swooping in and reminding him that “yeah you can be a crazy bastard, but don’t you dare die”. He’s less overbearing than Ky gets when Kenny gets hurt, but he’s there to be like “hey man you’re good, you gotta be careful tho”. He was the first to INSIST that he pay kenny in full for his art and commissions stuff regularly through their entire lives.

With Marj, it’s really, really complex. I mentioned before in my OJV Stan hcs (thank you to the wife for that ask btw) that he was the first person she went to when she realized she was a girl! Bc he’s always been pretty emotionally honest and accepting of everything, and she was dealing with her crush on Kenny too and Stan notoriously THINKS he’s slick in being a massive simp so two birds one stone lmao. He was pretty clueless at first but that protective instinct kicked in and he was like GIRL WE GONNA FIND YOU SOME RESOURCES! Also, I’ll do a post abt how NO ONE in the OJV Star Seven is neurotypical soon, but i briefly mentioned in The Wacky Adventures of Craig And Kyle that Marjorine has the ‘tism as well, and Stan is NOT the person to go to when you’re having a meltdown, but rest assured he WILL get you to someone who is. Like she can tell him “Stan I’m feelin a little…” and he will IMMEDIATELY find her Kenny or Kyle. Kyle’s obviously his go to when things are out of his emotional scope, and that extends to Craig later down the line.

So TWEEK!!! Oh god Tweek and Stan’s relationship in the OrangeJuiceVerse is so important to me. They’re the first encounter of the Broken Bottles Quartet, and that moment when Kyle figures out about Tweek’s problem, Stan was full man-with-the-plan mode about how to help him! Before he takes Tweek to AA, he’s at ye ol’ meetin’ hall talking to the old geezers in the local group and it’s like:

“Hey, Stanny Boy, good to see you back, how you healin up (smh I did break his ribs for good reason I promise) got anything to share?” “Actually yeah, I’m gonna bring someone with me in a few days, but you guys HAVE to give him space he gets really nervous.” And the longtime AA peeps who are prone to being overly friendly back off and let Tweek just listen that first time, and Stan is consistently checking in and with Stan’s support Tweek slowly gets more comfortable, and Stan is SO fucking proud of him and he’s his sponsor for a LONG ASS TIME before he officially is.

As for Cartman, once he moves away, Stan will call him up pretty frequently to check in, like “hey fatass how’s the wedding planning company coming?” “Fuck off, hippie did you get the-“ “YES I got the beef jerky club membership quit sending me that shit” “heh, sweet.” “Asshole, but seriously are you doing okay?” “Yes you photosynthesizing dildo. The Jew looks tired in his last facebook post check on him” “I got him, Cartman” “you guys are assholes” “we love you too” “gross” smh theyre so unserious.

But yeah that’s this episode of me not shutting tf up abt OrangeJuiceVerse

#south park #bruh what is wrong with me #headcanons #my shit #stannnn #my baby boy #stan marsh #style #lmm voice: look at my son #ao3 #ao3 shit #OrangeJuiceVerse #ojv

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starredforlife · 8 months

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From that post about moving to Australia tbh it depends on the social context and who you're with, like people here do definitely talk about their achievements without the dance, but more with friends/family rather than colleagues or people you've only just met, which is where tall poppy stuff tends to come in. It's seen as like, bragging or self importance or a way to exercise some sort of social hierarchy, and we generally hate hierarchies here.

You can definitely ask people about things and they'll usually happily open up, and then normally will ask you/give you the space to share your own stuff.

We do also appreciate manners here a lot even with the cursing, like you thank the bus driver/uber driver when you get out, you're polite to service staff, say please/thank you/cheers mate, and don't cut in line, but also the one thing I can recommend not doing here is saying sir/ma'am or people will think you're being rude to them or implying they've broken the social code, because you only say those here if someone is being An Asshole In Public. People try to be a little more forgiving to Americans since we Know it's a thing there, but it'll still definitely hit buttons subconsciously.

This is why I left the tags bc I figured some of y’all would have better insight than the one Reddit post! I figured it would be more complex or varied of a Thing than the original person made it out to be. Looking through the tags of the post it also seems like the celebratory/‘bragging’ thing is an even bigger cultural difference in European countries (saw Ireland mentioned). I feel like the culture clash would be much more extreme for me or other Americans there.

In doing research I’ve def come across the tall poppy/egalitarianism culture and found it v informative. I relate on the hating social hierarchies but I feel like the way Americans go about it is different. We want to hear everyone’s day to day achievements (even strangers!) and in that way we practice community, and level the playing field. The over-friendliness and ‘monologuing’ is a way we say “oh you’re interesting! I’m interesting too! How cool that we get to meet each other”. We assume people want to hear abt our lives bc we (generally) want to hear about yours. It’s much more rude to not offer something about yourself (though I’m speaking from a much more southern perspective. The level of this is different coast to coast, in the north, etc.). I’m also speaking as a person that is often described as intimidating and confident and bossy (I was. Raised by a school teacher lol). I am also Argentine, raised there and Paraguay for my childhood, and the Argentine confidence and South American hospitality things are VERY real. I have more going for my esteem and penchant for conversation than just the US-southern American sensibilities lol

As for saying sir/ma’am, I just know it’s gonna get on someone’s nerves. It’s complete reflex, it’s not something I make myself say lol. It would have to be trained out of me over time. But I do appreciate the cultural insight a lot, and I love learning about it. My personality and upbringing aside, there is something to be said about trying to be respectful, and I don’t want to push buttons if I know better in the moment ykwim. I’m glad to hear the social dance isn’t so intense otherwise though. I do hate a performance of manners that are all about insulating our real feelings or needs. Southern manners and Hispanic hospitality are all about making others feel like the center of attention (so like, that’s why refusing food is seen as rude, while in other countries or places it’s the politer thing to do). But it’s something to be considerate of regardless

#star’s asks #star’s anons

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