#which like. obviously it isn't actually at all and i'm just giving too much subconscious credence to very dumb gender ideas‚ blergh

[asherlockstudy]

LMAOO!! ok I'm not gonna spoil the R&L video but plspls if you watch it tell us what you think!!

OKAY I have watched it twice now. It is obviously another symbolic work but the first time I was so dumbfounded by all the weirdness that I got like only a couple of symbolisms. The second watch was more fruitful. So let's get to it!

The Brown Diamond

First of all, the moment we got the title and the teaser I knew this would have potty humour and that, also, it would be about anal again.

The standing doggystyle in the beginning is fun but does not have a significance in the story. However, since the title is "The Quest for the Brown Diamond" it might be an attempt to create a subconscious connection between the two.

It is interesting that the very next scene sort of subverts the expectations formed from the previous one: Rhett is a very awkward and reserved, shy, gentle, intelligent man with many phobias, Horst, whereas Link is Sandy, a loud, crude, angry but good hearted man, with an established interest in women. They seem like total opposites of the characters they play, however there is truth hidden in them i.e Rhett is an introvert and he can be gentle and intelligent and Link can be angry and loud despite being a good person. I don't understand what was exactly the concept behind making the characters diverge so much from Rhett and Link in other aspects. Perhaps it was a red herring.

Whatever they said in the end, there is no more genuine statement of affection than "You look weird as hell...... but you always do".

Horst says he has this hair to have a form of natural shield and this might give as a hint as to why Rhett's character has so many phobias and puts up so many defenses; maybe it's about all the things he considered sinful and unacceptable when he was still in the faith.

The whole quest to essentially steal the diamond is Sandy's initiative and passion, while Horst simply follows because that's what he does, he follows Sandy. This might explain Sandy's assertiveness; by every allegorical work of theirs we have seen before it is implied again and again that Link (perhaps counterintuitively) was actually the pursuer of their relationship. Don't forget Carney in Friday's GMMore freaking saying that Link was Romeo between the two, whom Stevie had just described as an extrovert who pursued his relationship with Juliet! And that was the last episode before this video! Isn't all this...WILD? This also suggests that at this point a lot of the crew members know.

Horst opens tentantively the door and Sandy sarcastically says: "Look, Horst contributing already to the project!". They get in the mansion, where Sandy decides to rub himself on every single surface while Horst watches scandalized. The one time poor Horst tries to mimic Sandy, he realises he was trying to rub on a cherub which obviously kills his mood again. So this is likely about how much Link had to "throw himself out there" to make this work and how hesitant and scared Rhett was in the beginning.

By the way

Of course.

This gives me Rhett mixing his words flashback and saying "Link McLaughlin". Except this here is intentional. Then again someone could say best friends and branded business partners could do that too. However, with all the other stuff here, we can suspect this is not that simple of a case.

Horst pumps them both up with energizing food for the quest and it might be associated with the whole theme of the puzzle video, where it was implied they needed some... assistance in their first times. Sandy has to eat some seaweed, an experience he describes as "cunnilungus with the ocean" and Horst eats a sausage wrapped in bologna, which is the point where he breaks character a little, as Rhett apparently finds this too amusing! This all means that the energizing food scene though is heavily sex-coded.

After a straightTM moment, when Sandy builds up the courage to ask his ex-stepson (Tanner? Tunner?) if his mom still thinks about him, he starts looking for the diamond. He mentions he was looking at his Nana's drawers when he was young but then he asks this to be cut from the film as he doesn't want people to think that about him, which means this too is suspicious and in this case it probably implies he was exploring his feminine side. Ironically, this was also mentioned in the last GMMore, when Link asked for a few more years before he starts dressing like Miss Pingy...!

Meanwhile, Horst doesn't look for the diamond but gives as an empathetic, admiring, caring and loving description of Sandy. Yes, Sandy is frantic, angry, a brute but Horst sees through him and understands why he is the way he is. Sandy's childhood is similar to Link's to some extent.

Sandy follows and gives a shorter but emotional description of Horst: he stands out, he is a little weird but he is good and smart. Sandy also establishes he is protective of him and warns the stepson to not hurt Horst.

AND THEN OF COURSE THEY BROUGHT UP THE PUZZLE ARRYFFUJBIOGD Sandy even has a tattoo of the notorious puzzle piece, while Horst keeps it in his bracelet of things he fears and loves. (If you don't know what the deal with the puzzle is please read this).

Horst finds a guitar and starts playing a sweet song... so sweet that it is literally called

Sandy, much like real Link every time Rhett sings and plays music, stops his frantic search and listens hypnotized to Horst's playing. He joins him by the fireplace and they sing together. It is very sweet, very domestic. When the song ends, the silence between them is heavy and uncomfortable but full of warmth. Sandy asks Horst how he is feeling and Horst admits he is still scared. Sandy, pensive but respectful, decides that they should go, as apparently this whole thing isn't working out for them. He expresses regret for dragging Horst into this.

But, lo and behold! At the last moment, Horst finds a secret door and is suddenly the more excited one who reminds Sandy of their quest. In this secret room, they find a video recorded by the deceased owner of the mansion and the diamond, who gives instructions on how to get the diamond. The quest is bound to a riddle and this riddle IS THIS ONE:

To be shared between three, the heart must not be free but the damage is done if the heart is given to one.

Get it? If you have to give your heart to other two, your heart is not free, but then again when the heart is given to THE one only, that's when shit hits the fan (well literally in this video).

Can you believe it? Can you believe this is the story of these apparently extremely romantic middle-aged Southern youtubers?

The heart, the diamond, is of course inside Bahau moon, a three-ass artifact. Reminds of "the way to a woman's heart is through a worm's / woman's anus".

Sandy and Horst hear noises from upstairs and it appears Brandy, Horst's best friend at work, was trying to steal the diamond before them. And that is because Horst told her their secret as “he tells her everything”. What does Brandy symbolizes? Horst loves her a lot as a friend and keeps no secrets from her, Sandy is antagonistic to her. Sandy gets his hand in this ass first and competes with her for the diamond. Horst follows hesitantly again. They realise neither can win over the heart and all be happy. So Horst implores them to all lay off the heart diamond. In fact, Sandy has grabbed the heart and agrees to let it go only if Brandy promises to also not stick her hand to the ass again. Sorry for suggesting this...but can Brandy be a wife, like Jessie? Once they are all out of the Bahau moon and safe, Horst realises that his "phobias and loves" bracelet is dropped inside the artifact. He begs the other two to get inside the Bahau moon once more so he can retreive his bracelet. This might be associated to Rhett always having this pattern that he wants this to stop, to prevent it but then he is the one falling back to it (check Hazel where he tries to save Link but then Hazel takes him first and in the dig-a-hole video where he pulls Link out of his enjoyment only to later suggest a larger hole than Link did and drive the excavator himself). Horst really begs Brandy, tells her to do it for the sake of their “old good memories” together. This whole thing reminds me of that time Rhett was bringing up a lot that his marriage had gone through a milestone, that he and Jessie had had a very big and serious talk that changed but also supposedly “strengthened” their marriage. And then once Link let it slip that he was present during that serious talk of the couple, which one would expect would have happened privately.

Brandy betrays them, takes the brown diamond and leaves them. The Bahau moon starts releasing toxic gas. Sandy tells the camera man to save himself. The camera man still records Sandy and Horst's last moments from outside the window. As they are dying, they hold hands with their still free hand. Sandy asks forgiveness for everything but Horst does not hold anything against him. Before he takes his last breath, Sandy tells Horst he loves him. They die there, trapped forever. This ending resembles Hazel a lot, where they disappear forever in Hazel's forest. In Hazel, Link was also trying to tell Rhett he loves him before what he thought would be their last moments.

This gives the riddle another dimension, because in the end Sandy and Horst remain with their One, meaning each other, also stressed by the love confession, and this kills them. It is perhaps suggested that Brandy (a wife?) got her heart back and went on with her life, while they can't do the same. They stay trapped with the love that kills them.

And here's another ANON I got, I hope they read it cause I am answering here:

Thanks a lot for telling me!!! Yes it doesn't surprise me one bit. The ending is supposed to have that despair and melancholy of always staying trapped, hidden. Just like Hazel. Very interesting that it was braver before the cuts. Perhaps they thought it would make it too obvious? But, too little is obvious for A LOT of their fans, right? I also don't understand, do they actually want people to pick up on it after all, or not? They confuse me so much.

Unless the few of us still imagine all that stuff lol never in my life before have I seen friends act like that but the funniest thing is that I haven't seen people in love act like that either! Will we get an autobiography from them in the distant future, I wonder? Because we should.

#rhink #rhett and link #randl #r&l #r&l videos #the quest for the brown diamond #long text #tw long text #tw long #tw long post #mythical #anon #ask #mail

[samuelroukin]

Ok but like. What is the armpits kink? genuinely. Is it a smell thing? Just because it's a fold in the skin? The hair? D) all of the above? I'm not asking to judge at all. Moreso to see if there's actually a term/thing that describes how I really enjoy smelling my partner but uhh anyways. Question still stands. Thanks for your service, lad

WELL. it's like with most kinks; it depends 👍let me put it under a cut for waxing poetic being normal lmao

some people just like them aesthetically, like hands or shoulders and call it a kink (no judgement, call what you like whatever you want), some people only like them well groomed and clean, at least for actually touching. and some people like all of it; the smell, the hair, the way it's such an intimate part of the body, something that you're not really Supposed to be into

they can be sensitive like inner thighs, and if your partner shares the kink, more so. it can be a bit of trust thing too; being allowed to sniff and lick (or even fuck) a body part that isn't usually considered for it. part of it can be the shame of getting off to something "gross" and your partner either admonishing or encouraging that

it can be about making someone give in to baser urges, or humiliation. it can be about possessiveness; no one gets to do this (or make you do this) but me, which leans into the taboo again.

there's a lot of overlap between liking pits and stuff like balls or feet, imo it's a lot to do with the intimacy of smelling (and obviously liking) the more "undesirable" parts of someone's body

that being said, you can just be into scent without liking armpits, a lot of people aren't necessarily into sweat/body odor unless it's their partner or someone they like, in which case it isn't so much about the pits themselves, but more just enjoying the way they smell after working out, or sex, or even sleep (humans don't have pheromones, but despite that there's research that shows some people are—even subconsciously—attracted to the smells of specific and individual scents from others)

i'm sure i missed some reasons too, but i hope this shed Some light on it for u regardless and if you have more questions i am (clearly) happy to talk abt it sjkhdkhhjs

#writing a damn thesis on armpits... there's a reason someone called me mr pits lmao #still just a bit @ other anon #anon #asks

[seraphic-saturn]

Seraphic Daily Journal

11/3/23

(I decided to do this for self awareness and improvement. Also to clear my head. And hey maybe I'll say something profound or someone could relate.)

As a Sagittarius Mercury in the 12th (plus Libra mars), I leave a lot of stuff unsaid to spare the feelings of others or myself even though it's the truth and I know they should hear it. I let connections fizzle out just because I don't want to scare people away with my truth, so I ghost first or easily let people ghost. (Aquarius Venus) I have a detachment issue because of the hurt I've been through by being attached (Scorpio moon.)

It's interesting, that I am self aware of all of this. I can be a coward. And I have to be honest with myself. I can't foster or nurture connections (Cancer 7th house) if I just detach when things get awkward or tough. However, I know people can't be trusted. Especially this year, things have been really scary in my love life. Learning lots of lessons and information involving dating, relationships, friendships, and connections in general.

It's hard to show my authentic self too. Usually mirroring the person (Neptune in 1st, sun in 12th) because it's easier to fake a connection than form a real one. Which sucks. I don't like that about myself. But I do it subconsciously, as if I am always on the defense and protecting myself. I act like a wounded animal ong. So there's my issues right?

So how do I fix this? Obviously time heals all wounds. And I need to be patient with myself. Another thing I am learning to have. Patience. I have to realize the saying "life is short" is bullshit. Life is long. Very long. Especially when I have so much to learn, so much to witness. I can't rush life. Life isn't a McDonald's drive through. But I can't help it. The fear of missing out, the fear that I am behind in life- it's daunting. But, I think that every person entering their twenties right now feels the same way I feel in that regard.

Obviously, I'm not alone. The majority of the population has attachment issues, traumas, hardships, flaws, issues, etc. No one is perfect. That's why I love astrology, it showcases what you need to work on. Even if it's brutally honest. I love it for that very reason. It doesn't sugar coat anything.

One day I'll be able to find people where I can truly be myself around, I just have to be patient. But, I also need to give people chances. I never extend my hand, expecting others to extend theirs instead. Which is like? Hypocritical? And creates an imbalance in the connection. I can't tell whether I'm overthinking, assuming, or actually listening to my intuition in most cases. Sometimes, I think I'm overthinking and then my suspicions are confirmed.

It's the uncertainty of people. Unpredictable. Although, it would be boring if people were always predictable. I believe it really comes down to being afraid of being vulnerable and getting hurt from it. If I live my life in fear of these pains, how will I ever learn or grow? You'd think the traumas I went through in childhood would prepare me for these things, but it really caused the opposite reaction. Hence the wounded animal comment.

This year's motto while I struggle with these inner conflicts has been "it is what it is." Really adding fuel to my detachment issues. If anyone actually reads this and relates, I hope you heal. I hope you experience what it's like to truly trust someone that has the integrity to keep that trust. I hope you realize that life is not the rat race society wants you to think it is. And I believe in you, as I do believe in myself. I know I will overcome these trials because I was born for it.

Seraphic out.

#seraphicdailyjournal #introspection #astrology

[goldcranes]

an extension of the earlier sleeper hit ask that you responded to: bradley said that amelia had been impacted by her father more than she herself realised. do you think that would ever factor into her relationship with bradley? not ever in a creepy way. but amelia had spent the entirety of her life without adequate paternal affection and (based on the fic) things were rocky between her and her mom after the divorce. amelia is a brilliant, smart and conscientious woman but she would obviously struggle as an adult. how would bradley fit into that/help her cope?

the usual caveats apply: if this will be discussed in detail in the bradley POV and you would like to wait for then, please feel free - no rush! you mentioned missing the universe so i thought ill send in this ask!

have a nice day x

This is such a lovely ask, thank you so much! And I love thinking about Amelia's relationships with her father, and then her ones with herself and other people in her life because of it, it's such a core tenet of her personality. Going to put this under a cut because it got a bit long:

What's interesting to me about this is that it's actually Maverick who has the biggest impact on her in this sense. He really just turns out to be exactly what she needs – a father figure who adores her and eggs her on and can match her sense of humour, but also trusts her to make good decisions and sets healthy boundaries for her and, pretty much unintentionally, gently helps shape her into a more balanced adult just by relentlessly being there for her and expecting good things from her.

Because she has the opportunity to get that from Maverick, she's not as dependent on Bradley for it, and so their relationship doesn't risk falling into one that's too imbalanced. They can be real equal partners, and while their age gap isn't going to go away and does manifest – especially in disagreements, where Bradley will just take a breath and walk away while Amelia gets really wound up and thinks he's being patronising – they don't ever slip into a caretaker/child dynamic. Neither of them want that.

In truth I think what Amelia really craves deep down (from grown men especially because alas internalised misogyny) is to be taken seriously. The more she gets that from the two men she loves most, the less she'll be subconsciously driven to seek it out. Their faith in her gives her faith in herself, and all of it helps her to reach real peace with the way her father is and how he's affected her (with the help of some therapy of course).

Also I should mention that, although her most complicated dynamics are with men, the relationship that does her the most good overall is the one with her mom – obviously they have deeply fractious periods like I think any teenaged daughter and her mother do, but her mom is always there for her and deeply understands her and is willing her to let her make mistakes, which isn't easy. It's only because she has always had that unconditional love and acceptance that Amelia's able to open herself up to people like Maverick and Bradley, otherwise I think she'd be a much more closed-off and cold character. I'm really into loving, trusting mother/daughter relationships and theirs definitely encapsulates that for me!

#thank you so much for this ask this was so fun to think about #sleeper hit

[melonthesprigatito]

So The Other Night I Had A Funny Dream About Word Girl:

(Obviously I cleaned it up a little and ironed out some details to make it readable, but this is basically the gist of what happened)

So basically, Rhyme stormed into the zoo and took hostages. (yeah, I know. Her again. I've daydreamed about Rhyme and Reason so much that they've wormed their way into my subconscious.) The authorities freaked out because a hostage situation is super serious, and Word Girl was freaking out because she's never really had to deal with a hostage situation before???? And Rhyme's super dangerous when she's angry, so what's she supposed to do, talk her down? 

When she arrives, Rhyme. looks. PISSED. She's stomping around, kicking hotdog stands, looking like she wants to murder someone. She sees Word Girl and says that if she doesn't give her what she wants, she's gonna smash up the zoo and everyone in it.

So Word Girl floats over to Rhyme to ask what her demands are. 

And Rhyme says, with stone cold seriousness: I want to pet a penguin. >:(

Word Girl: what

Rhyme: You heard me. I want to pet one of the penguins! 

Word Girl: That's it?! You caused all this trouble and scared all these people just for that?! 

Rhyme: Yee!

Word Girl: But why???? Hostage situations are for when the bad guy wants to be given millions of dollars or nuclear launch codes or something!  And you're going to waste your demand on something so... harmless???

Rhyme: Well, Reason doesn't want us to steal live animals anymore after the jewels/mules incident so I couldn't just steal a penguin and they don't let you pet animals at the zoo anyway so I thought it was the perfect illegal thing to demand! 

Word Girl: *long suffering sigh* And if I refuse your... frankly underwhelming demand you're gonna destroy the zoo anyway?

Rhyme: Yeah, that's kind of the point, isn't it?

So Word Girl flies over to the zoo keepers to see if that's something that can be arranged. They bring out one of their cutest penguins and Rhyme's practically giddy with excitement when she sees it.

Rhyme: Does he have a name?

Zookeeper: He's called Tux...?

Rhyme, squeeing: Hi, Tux! :D

So Word Girl and the Zookeepers supervise Rhyme as she's petting their penguin, you know because she's a supervillain and they don't want her trying anything and hurting one of their animals.

The hostages aren't even scared anymore, everyone's just watching this hardened criminal cuddle and make kissy faces at a penguin for a solid thirty minutes. The penguin is entirely unbothered by the situation. 

And then, just like that Rhyme's stands up, frees the hostages and willingly let's herself get arrested like: "Ok, I'm done! You can take me to jail now!" 

Word Girl is like "what the swear word just happened" and as she's taking Rhyme to jail it suddenly occurs to her that Reason was nowhere to be seen the entire length of the situation. Which is strange, because shouldn't he have been running after her to stop her from doing such a stupid, crazy thing? So of course, Word Girl asks where Reason is and Rhyme is like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

In jail, Rhyme is giggling to herself in her cell and Amazing Rope Guy (who watched the news report of the situation on the Warden's TV) is like "I can't believe you actually took hostages and threatened to kill them! What were you thinking?!"

Rhyme says, "What, you though I was being serious? I wasn't actually gonna hurt anyone! I was only acting scary because the bigger the scene I made, the more attention I would draw! Everyone would be looking at me instead of... elsewhere! Hehehehehe..."

An hour later, Rhyme busts herself out of jail (and she breaks Amazing Rope Guy out too because why not) and she meets Reason at their lair. Reason shows her all the cash, valuables and plushies he stole from the Zoo's gift shop. Turns out the entire "hostage situation" was just a planned diversion created by Rhyme so Reason could rob the place blind while everyone was focused on her. The Villains Society are impressed by their ingenuity.

Bonus: 

Exposition Guy: HEEEEELP! THE RHYMING GIRL HAS TAKEN HOSTAGES AT THE CITY ZOO!!! Wait, is the police station?

Hostage: Are you serious?! You're tied up with us! How could you possibly think this is the police station?! You said it yourself, we're at the city zoo!

Exposition Guy: Sorry! Force of habit! 

Also, Rhyme deliberately played up the angry supervillain persona. But... she was kinda bad at it? She couldn't bring herself to actually be angry, she was just too excited to hug that penguin. Like, it was fairly obvious that she was pretending. So she's stomping around going "Grrr!" and at one point she stomps too hard, and the ground shakes so she's immediately like "Oh crap, I overdid it!" 

And while she's waiting for Word Girl to show up, she kinda admits to the hostages that this is the first time she's ever taken hostages before and they're like "It's okay, we've never been hostages before. So we're all new at this!" 

My headcanon for why Rhyme never rhymed in this scenario is because she couldn't think of a word that rhymes with penguin and she didn't want to be caught in another "I can't fight back until I find something that rhymes with purple!" situation so she just abandoned the rhyming entirely for this crime.

#word girl rhyme and reason #wordgirl rhyme #wordgirl reason #wordgirl villains #melon's ramblings #word girl

[risingsouls]

🦎 - Gush about one of your ships, if you like! If not, give us some shipping opinions-- either as a general idea, or how it works in RP specifically

A 🦎 For My Thoughts || Always Accepting!

[I'm going to gush about Nabooru and Gogeta because I do love them and I love a lot of the dynamics and complications that came with this particular ship. It will probably be more from Nabooru's perspective on some things since Gogeta isn't my muse BUT.

The first thing I want to touch on for Nabooru specifically is the idea of the tag I chose for the two of them: "in you I found a love I no longer believed in." The reason I chose this and is important to this specific relationship is because, for starters, Nabooru was never like...predisposed to wanting relationships with people. The other two serious ones with Ganondorf and Vegeta just sort of...happened. the feelings evolved with time and they more or less sank into a relationship (things were slightly more formal with Ganondorf, but not much; neither of them were LOOKING to fall for the other is the key here because they were both too into their own ambitions and goals). So, Nabs is never really LOOKING for a relationship, and she wasn't looking to get with Gogeta in a specific sense, either.

That said, after she found out Vegeta was, for all intents and purposes, dead, there was the added feeling of not WANTING to try again even if the urge might strike. She was content going on with her life single and doing her own thing and therefore wasn't EXPECTING to fall for Gogeta, let alone anyone else. But the time they spent together as friends, helping each other work through a very confusing and rough patch for the both of them with Nabooru mourning Vegeta and even Goku as likely something of a friend at that point and moving forward, and Gogeta dealing with EXISTING in general but also in a world where he was "replacing" two other people who many had certain expectations of and wanted a LITERAL replacement of those men in Gogeta, it DID rekindle emotions and feelings in her she didn't expect to experience again.

Which brings us to stickier but still interesting territory that makes me love this ship a whole lot. So not only did she not expect to catch these feels, but, for a time and the reason why she hesitated for a while to act on them was because Vegeta was one of his creators who she was romantically involved with. And this probably created some unique issues and hesitancy for Gogeta too. For Nabs, she actually felt GUILTY for catching feelings for Gogeta because she couldn't help but wonder if it was because he was created by Vegeta and she was subconsciously associating Gogeta with him, something too many others did and caused a lot of negative feelings and hurt for Gogeta. She didn't WANT to be part of that statistic and part of that problem, she didn't want to hurt Gogeta or give him the wrong idea, even about their friendship. And I'm sure Gogeta had/has similar suspicions and misgivings occasionally about the relationship, if Nabooru's feelings are for HIM or one of his creators. And golly does it hurt but it's obviously a dynamic that doesn't get explored in most ships for obvious reasons.

The fact that the two overcome this (outside of maybe natural moments of insecurity that would happen in any relationship) makes the ship even more wholesome to me. I love the friendship they build beforehand, how they get to know each other as if they're complete strangers because they ARE. Gogeta is his own man, and if he has any stray memories of Nabooru, they're not HIS. So despite all the nuance there is to this relationship, there's also a lot thats just....so normal about it. On the surface, it's pretty much a cute friends to lovers story, which for the two people they are is like...refreshing? Not sure if that's the word I want. I guess it's like the juxtaposition of their very complicated circumstances and personalities with how normally it evolved from probably being acquaintances that killed Frieza together and went on a trip to the Metamoran planet together for answers to becoming a support for each other (because lbr: Gogeta was looking at "friends" who only saw and wanted Goku making things real awkward and Nabooru herself had very few close buds outside of Vegeta, Lila, Nappa, and Raditz with honorable mention Bardock, but the last several of these had lives of their own she wasn't going to impede on with her nonsense) willing to be there for each other with the aftermath of that trip to the kind of friends that tell each other everything and are comfortable enough to cuddle and watch movies or whatever together and then to a relationship is just...nice. Despite it all, the formation of their relationship felt super mundane and it's just really sweet for these two? Idk if anything in that ramble made sense but.

I just really love them. Like even as just the platonic friendship we began with with them, I really loved their dynamic. Their care for each other is just really wholesome and fun and sweet and 🥺🥺🥺]

#.:ask:. #.:ooc:. #viopolis #: in you i found a love i no longer believed was real ☀✨gogebooru #i dont give this ship enough attention on dash #so heres a whole lot of it

[canon-notcanon-warriorcats]

Wait people actually sipped Fireheart/Firestar and Mistyfoot/Mistystar? Isn’t Mistyfoot like half Fireheart’s age tho?

who said anything about that and do you mean double his age?

i'm not surprised though, it was probably a ship people thought of when they were kids and didn't understand age gaps, like when i was a kid i subconsciously shipped fireheart and runningwind and i also thought fireheart might end up with willowpelt

but also eventually firestar isn't going to be half mistystar's age, i could kind of see people liking firestar x mistystar once he's leader or they're both leaders, they'd both be grown adults and it's not like mistyfoot watched firestar grow up, they didn't interact with each other until he was a warrior, forest of secrets actually, where he was very well an adult and already had had two apprentices, we also don't know how old mistyfoot is in tpb, she's a respected young warrior and becomes a new mother, but so was silverstream who was around graystripe and fireheart's age, mistyfoot's definitely older than silverstream, but we don't actually know how much time passes between bluestar giving up her kits and becoming deputy and the start of into the wild, the only cats who don't exist in bluestar's prophecy that exist in into the wild are darkstripe and longtail, the former having just become a warrior himself and darkstripe had been his mentor, and mousefur and runningwind were also referred to as young warriors in into the wild, and they were kits at the end of bluestar's prophecy

my personal headcanon is that mistyfoot, stonefur, mousefur, and runningwind are about 2-3 years old in into the wild, sunstar obviously lost all of his lives very fast and i headcanon bluestar lost most of her lives because of the famine and sickness thunderclan went through before rusty joined them, either refusing to eat so more of her clan could eat or refusing treatment for the sickness so there were more herbs for other cats that didn't have 9 lives, which is a very honorable and good leader thing to do, so even if she had only been leader for like a year before rusty joined thunderclan, the clan would obviously see her as a very respectable, wise, and great leader

this kind of turned into more me rambling about what i think the timeline for warrior cats is but basically

i dunno if i'd personally ship it, but i can understand why people would like it, and i mean it's not like people haven't shipped worse, don't stress about it too much

[deancrowleycas]

I'm writing anon from before. Of course I still get a rush when actually posting things! I used to exclusively write privately so shifting to publishing some things in ao3 meant explicitly acknowledging that in some way obviously I do want people to like it. But, it's a bit of a psychological game. If you pour your heart and soul into something hoping people will like it and then they don't it's crushing. If you pour your heart and soul into something because you wanted it to exist, and then you put it out there in case even one or two other people think similarly, you either don't hear much (ah well, most people aren't you) or you DO hear something and it's a huge unexpected pleasure. I try to never take hits/kudos/comments for granted. I do have some expectations especially after writing for a while and knowing roughly the numbers fics in various fandoms do but it's so content dependent even then. I write things because no one else is, so, either it hits on something that's more widely applicable too, which is cool, or it doesn't, and that's not a bad thing. I write a lot of rather specific ace fanfic for example and obviously the romance side is going to appeal to a wider audience but often times I make conscious decisions to very textually stray away from popular tropes and give them my own spin not because I think that would appeal to most people but because I was sick of reading these things which almost but not quite applied to me. There is an “engagement” trade off there immediately. It's impossible to rate the worth of something like that based on the raw numbers of people who like it!

Basically, just figure out what you believe in before publishing anything and don't let yourself be convinced to stray from that once the story is out there. Of course any writer wants to get better, but that's just practise. You will not get better analysing what other people like. In terms of spelling, grammar, etc yeah sure if you want to get someone to look over and edit those things and give pointers that can be constructive, but even then... I just write what sounds good. Good poetry destroys any rules essays should be following. Your job as a fanfic writer isn't to conform to what is popular, it's to destroy three other individuals who understand exactly what you mean and in the process realise that that thing you thought you were alone in was actually something you had a community in after all.

Hello! I was already asleep when I got this I think, so that's why I am answering now xD

Thank you for your message. I agree with you on all of the points actually, so it was good to hear that. The AU or stuff I have planned most of the time exists because it's not something where I could find much on ao3 - like right now I have a werewolf!AU that's not a/b/o, and I started a little genderfluid Dean x fix-it fic because I love Dean being trans in any form and there is just not enough of that out there :D And then I have an idea for a superhero AU and pole dance fic. So yeah, that's already oddly specific stuff - so why would I expect that it is something for anyone? It kind of destroys the idea of art to just follow what is popular, and yeah, creating something that I feel passionate about and has meaning to me (and maybe three other like-minded individuals to connect with, as you mentioned) only makes sense.

I am also pretty relieved because I guess I connected kudos in my subconscious with the idea of 'how good' a fic is (stupid, yeah - I should know better, after all, I keep running around telling everyone to read fics that are not super popular and not only read fandom favorites because there are so many gems out there), not taking into account other factors like the topic, fandom, etc that come more to the front in your ask. Just thinking about kudos differently already takes pressure away from getting them lol.

And yeah, the part about poetry was also very helpful. Though it's funny that my personal problem is that I am someone who writes a lot of essays and that I struggle because I am trying to break away from that academic writing style, so that made me laugh xD But yeah, I guess I should allow myself to be more intuitive. Play around, after all this is for fun and it should feel meaningful to me. And yeah, it should be readable, but thinking about art like a set of rules it should be following is stupid and snobbish anyways and I am so over that. Okay, a little more private vent following - I did a bachelor's in cultural studies and I spent half of my bachelor's fighting (also defending fan fiction and fandom culture) against rich academics that pretended mass media wasn't art and insisted on 'high art' being the 'purest' form of art and I am SO over those weird 'qualifying factors' of art that are actually often just made to suppress people so I should stop repeating those weird as fuck ideas about judging art and maybe just fucking enjoy it. Like I should know better dammit!!! And I should let myself enjoy my hobbies! :D

#ask #writing anon #sorry anon I hope I make any sense this was an 'I just woke up' vent skjfhds #thank you for your very nice text <3

[helloalycia]

teenage dirtbag [four] // wanda maximoff

summary: Things finally explode between you and Nate, and Pietro decides to get to the bottom of whatever is going on between you and Wanda, though in usual Pietro fashion AKA not subtly at all

warning/s: none.

author's note: this is very beefy, i must admit, but i think you'll all enjoy the outcome 😂💘

part one | part two | part three | part five | masterlist | wattpad

Dinner with the Maximoffs wasn't as strange as I envisioned. Her parents were sweet and the twins did their best to make me feel comfortable. Wanda still seemed mildly frustrated whenever Pietro and I would talk though, and I figured she may have thought I was lying when I told her I didn't like him like that. I hoped that wasn't the case.

After dinner, Wanda took me upstairs to show me her bedroom. I'm not sure how to describe it other than it seemed so Wanda.

"I'm guessing red is your favourite colour," I said when I saw the hints of scarlet in her bedroom. On her walls, in her bedding, on her pillows. Just like her car and her jacket, they were all bright and very her.

"Great observation, Sherlock," she teased with a sly smile.

I returned the smile, sticking my tongue out at her playfully, before having a walk around and coming across her massive CD collection and CD player. Her music taste was actually quite similar to mine, which I definitely didn't expect. It just made her ten times more attractive to me which wasn't good, but oh well. I was here for a good time, not a long time. And my crush on Wanda Maximoff would surely be the death of me.

"D'you have any CDs at all?" she asked, joining my side when she noticed me staring at the shelf.

I crossed my arms, glancing at her. "Don't get me wrong. I'd love to collect them, but it's just so much easier to have Spotify, y'know?"

My intention wasn't to make her laugh, but God I was glad I did when her eyes crinkled and the sound rang around the room, making my heart pinch with adoration.

After giving me some of her pyjamas, the two of us got ready and brushed our teeth before I realised she wanted me to share bed with her.

"You wanna watch some TV before bed?" she asked, clearly not registering my hesitance to slide into her Queen-sized bed.

I swallowed hard. "S-sure."

She turned on the TV at the end of her bed as I slipped in beside her, still a bit rigid as I kept a fair distance from her.

"What you feeling? Comedy? Drama? Horror?"

"Anything is fine with me," I said, still tense.

She hummed in acknowledgement before leaning down on her pile of pillows behind her, edging closer to me. My heart was hammering in my chest as her hair tickled my arm from where she was laying.

"You comfortable?" she checked in, leaning backwards so her head was upside down to see me. "I have more pillows if you need them."

I offered her a small smile, hoping it disguised my nerves. "I'm good."

She nodded before flicking through the channels and eventually settling on reruns of The Office. It took time, but I eventually overcame my initial shock of sharing bed with the girl I had a major crush on and instead relaxed, getting comfortable under the covers.

After watching some TV, we called it a night and fell asleep quite quickly, the day taking its toll on us. For once, I wasn't panicking about doing something stupid. I simply fell asleep, trying to ignore the heat she emanated from beside me.

It was a peaceful night – her bed was super comfortable – and I woke up to the sound of Wanda moving about in her bedroom.

"Shoot, I'm sorry, did I wake you?" she asked when she saw me moving about under the blankets. I tried to blink away the sleep as she continued, "I was gonna wake you soon. School starts in an hour."

I rubbed my eyes, yawning, before sitting up and seeing she was practically already dressed. That meant she would have been up for a while, meaning she would have seen me fast asleep. God, I hated when people saw me sleeping. It always felt so weird.

"It's okay," I got out tiredly, before running a hand through my hair.

"You sleep well?" she asked, spinning around in her chair, her makeup half done. "I tried my very best not to use you as a teddy bear."

She was joking, but I felt my neck grow warm at the thought and damn, it was just way too early to be flustered.

"Yeah, I slept great," I settled, feeling her gaze on me. "Thanks again for having me over."

"Anytime," she said, and something told me it wasn't just a friendly response but that she actually meant it. Maybe it was the kind smile on her lips as she said so. "Just like last night, if you wanna use anything in the bathroom, go for it."

I gave her a thumbs up, taking a moment to wake myself up a little more, before heading to the bathroom to brush my teeth. When I returned to Wanda's room, I saw she'd already made the bed and had laid my clothes on top of it.

"I've got a shirt you can borrow," she said when I grabbed my jeans.

"Oh, I can just wear the same thing again, it's no biggie," I told her, already grabbing my shirt.

She pouted before grabbing a shirt from her closet. "Just hold on. You'll love it."

In no time, she came out from her closet and held out a Paramore tee shirt on a hanger towards me.

"I got it from the last concert I went to," she explained. "I thought you'd like it."

I couldn't help but smile at the thought. "Wow, Wanda. Really? You don't mind?"

She nodded, shaking the shirt as emphasis for me to take it. I did, having a look over it and smiling to myself.

"I'll wash it and give it back to you tomorrow," I promised, taking it off the hanger and holding it with my jeans. "Thanks."

"You can keep it," she said, scratching the back of her head apprehensively. "I've got loads."

"Oh, no, I can't do that," I began to deny, but she shook her head.

"It's fine, I'm giving it to you," she said, before smiling sweetly. "I'm sure you'll look better in it anyway."

Again with the warmth spreading up my neck...

"I doubt that," I quipped with a small smile.

"Go! Go get changed," she said, already pushing me towards the door. "I'll meet you downstairs for breakfast."

I snickered, letting her shove me into the hallway, before heading into the bathroom to get ready. The shirt was oversized, so there was no need to be worried it wouldn't fit. It was actually really nice, plus I liked it that extra bit more knowing Wanda gave it to me. Though I knew I wouldn't keep it. It was hers and she was just being nice.

When I finished making myself look presentable, I headed downstairs and found the twins at the kitchen counter, chatting between themselves. Their chatter ceased when I walked in, with Wanda biting her lip and looking me up and down with satisfaction.

"I was right," was all she said, making me nervous. "You do look better in it than me."

—

The day after that, I did as I said I would and returned Wanda's shirt to her, washed, folded and ironed. Knowing she wouldn't accept it without a fight, I left it in her bag when she wasn't looking during class.

I should have expected her to approach me at my locker afterwards.

"It was supposed to be a gift," she said, and I saw her pretty face reflected in the mirror hung inside my locker.

I turned around, already knowing what she was talking about.

"I told you I couldn't accept," I said politely, giving her a small smile. "I appreciate it though." She seemed disappointed which obviously didn't help with my feelings for her, so I took a leap and added, "Maybe I can get my own at their next concert. In the summer, right?"

She picked up on what I meant and smiled, stifling a laugh. Running a hand through her hair, she met my gaze and I found myself frozen in place as always, unable to look away. I wondered if she knew what she was doing when she did that, knew that she was giving me heart palpitations every time her lips turned into a playful smirk and dark eyes studied me curiously.

My eyes drifted to her lips subconsciously and she must have put on some lip balm or something, prior to finding me just now, as they looked shiny and pink and just so damn kissable. Nate was one lucky guy.

—

Having faced issues with Nate three times now (AKA the three times he happened to launch a football at my head), I'd figured I wouldn't be seeing the last of him. He was a dick, meaning he had a natural inclination to piss people off, particularly me. But I never thought he'd go for Y/BF/N.

We were chilling by our lockers, chatting about his film project, when his books suddenly got knocked out of his hands and he was shoved against the lockers. I straightened up when I saw it was Nate, looking pissed off as he had Y/BF/N's shirt bundled in his fist.

"What the hell are you doing?!" I shouted, trying to shove him off, but he merely pushed me back.

"This isn't your business," he said to me before glaring at Y/BF/N, who was quiet with panic. "You. You've been hanging around my girlfriend and I don't like it."

The colour drained from Y/BF/N's face as Nate slammed his hand to the lockers beside his head, startling him.

"I want you to stay the fuck away from Wanda!" he ordered, and students were starting to pick up on the fight that was clearly about to break out. "You fucking hear me, you nerd? Stay the fuck away!"

Poor Y/BF/N nodded his head, eyes avoiding Nate's. Meanwhile, I was angrier than Nate probably was. Y/BF/N had done nothing wrong. Maybe Nate had just seen Wanda hanging with me and because Y/BF/N was always with me, assumed the worst. Either way, this was no way to handle the situation and I was not gonna let this dick threaten my friend.

"Get the fuck away from him, Nate," I said through gritted teeth, glaring a hole into the side of his head.

Nate barely glanced my way. "I told you this isn't your business, honey."

"Five seconds," I said, standing behind him as a crowd began to form. "You've got five seconds or I'm gonna kick you."

He seemed to ignore me as he tightened his grip on Y/BF/N's shirt, only pissing me off more.

"Five," I began to count down, the grip on my books tightening with nerves and anger. "Four."

He still didn't look my way, just kept slapping Y/BF/N's face to scare him.

"Three, two, one," I said quickly, tired of giving him the benefit of the doubt.

Without waiting anymore, I kicked him between the legs with full force, watching as he instantly let go of Y/BF/N and doubled over. Everybody began to laugh, some making 'ooh' noises, but the consensus was clear – it definitely sucked to be Nate right now.

I tried not to laugh as I watched his face scrunch with pain, turning red. I was starting to appreciate my choice of wearing my doc marten boots today.

"No more balls for the guy who keeps throwing them at my fucking head," I got out, jaw clenching.

He looked up, his face crossing with realisation as he recognised me. In response, he glared in my direction, but it didn't faze me.

"Come on, Y/BF/N," I said, looking to my startled friend. "Let's go."

"What on Earth is going on over here?!" a teacher's voice rang out in the distance, and I groaned internally.

When I turned to leave, I heard Nate from behind me, grunting with dissatisfaction.

"Fuckin' dyke," he mumbled under his breath, and I paused, clenching my fists.

"Y/N, don't–" Y/BF/N tried to stop me, but I was too pissed to care.

I spun around and punched Nate square in the face, feeling good as his smirking face scrunched in pain and his back hit the lockers from the impact.

"Woah!" a teacher came out of nowhere, shoving herself between us and pushing me away from him. "What the hell is going on here?!"

I shook my hand to ease the pain on my knuckles, though the pain couldn't stop the grin on my lips as Nate raised his hands to his face, holding his busted nose. Students were going crazy, egged on by the potential fight, and for once, I didn't mind the attention. Nate had that coming for a while now.

"Everybody back to class! Now!" the teacher yelled, glaring all around her, before her eyes settled on Nate and I. "You two. Nurse's office now."

Nate glared at me behind his bloody nose and, once again, I tried not to laugh. Y/BF/N patted my back, amazement written on his face, before letting me leave with the teacher and an unusually silent Nate.

—

Kicking Nate in the groin and punching him in the face wasn't something I did to get attention, yet that's exactly what happened. Word of the incident spread around the school quite quickly, so much in fact that even students from other grades became aware of the situation and were approaching me to tell me how awesome I was. The whole thing was definitely strange, but I could tolerate it.

What I couldn't tolerate was having Chemistry after lunch and wondering if Wanda knew.

Would she hate me for punching her boyfriend? I wasn't sure. I just knew that when she walked into class and sat next to me, I felt everyone's eyes subtly watching us as if waiting for her to explode at me.

I'd been given an ice pack for my bruised hand after my visit to the nurse's office earlier whilst Nate had been treated for his broken nose (the fact that I'd broken it was hilarious to me, since I knew I wasn't even that strong). The principal had a very angry yell at us both in his office, neither of us willing to reveal the premise of our fight, before giving us detention every day after school for two weeks straight as punishment. Of course, Nate got his two weeks at a different time to mine for fear I'd punch him again (he definitely didn't like that, but he couldn't exactly say that to to principal).

I didn't bother using the ice pack in Chemistry for fear Wanda may ask what was up. I successfully managed to hide my hand and as a second surprise of the day, Wanda mentioned nothing about the incident. Not one thing about her boyfriend, about Y/BF/N, about any of it. I thought she might hint at it, trying to get me to bring it up. But she didn't which made me think she actually had no idea it even happened. Had anyone told her? Had he told her? Nah, probably not. His fragile masculinity probably caused him to change the story to something else so he didn't look like a wimp in front of his girlfriend.

Whatever it was, I was safe for now.

Thinking I'd got away with a confrontation from Wanda, I went about the rest of my day as usual. Well, that was until I was replacing some books in my locker at the end of the day and saw Wanda at her locker behind me, arguing with– yep, you guessed it. Nate.

Y/BF/N was collecting some books from his own locker beside me and we both exchanged looks as we saw the two lovebirds in a heated argument. Just when we were about to leave, someone cleared their throat from behind us, making us turn around.

Wanda was stood there, backpack hanging from her shoulder, beside Nate, who looked like he would rather be anywhere else but here.

"Hi," he started quietly, making Wanda clear her throat. He glanced at her before looking to Y/BF/N. "Look, man, I'm really sorry about earlier. I was wrong about what I said. We cool?"

I tried not to laugh at the way Nate was being forced to apologise by his girlfriend. Y/BF/N glanced to me with questioning eyes, so I simply shrugged.

"I guess...," he finally answered Nate, still a little awkward.

Nate nodded before looking to me. He still had his reservations, judging from the twitch in his expression, but for Wanda's sake, he kept his cool.

"I'm sorry for treating you badly," he said reluctantly. "With the football and just generally."

God, it was so hard not to laugh in his face right now. His nose had gauze taped to it and it made him look like an idiot. I fake coughed to disguise my smile, before meeting his gaze.

"It's, er, cool," I said, not in the mood to be an arsehole to him, even though he deserved it. I'd punched him – I think we were equal for now.

He nodded, before staying quiet. Glancing to Wanda, he waited for her to say something. She rolled her eyes and nodded for him to leave. When he was gone, she sighed tiredly.

"I only heard about what happened after Chem class," she said, mainly to me, a guilty expression on her lips. "I'm so sorry he acted like a jerk."

I chewed my lip, unsure what to say.

"It's okay, Y/N here took care of it," Y/BF/N said, smiling with amusement at me. Okay, well now she definitely knew.

"Yeah, sorry you felt you had to do that," she said with a grimace. "I guess he deserved it though."

"Kind of," I agreed, before noticing the regretful frown on her lips. "He apologised though. It's already happened. I kinda broke his nose... No point in dwelling on it."

She smiled, though it didn't reach her eyes. "Yeah..." Her eyes fell to my bruised hand before lifting it gently. I winced at the ache, but let her hold it, studying the purple bruise painted across my knuckles. "That looks bad."

It felt good punching him though, but I wasn't about to say that since it was her boyfriend I was talking about.

"It's alright," I said dismissively, shrugging. "Nate kind of got it worse. I'll live."

The pad of her thumb stroked the bruise gently and I held my breath, the feeling of her hands holding mine sending shivers up my arm. Her eyes flickered to mine, softened with guilt, before she let go of my hand.

"I should head home," she said after a pause. "I'll see you both tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow," Y/BF/N said for both of us, sensing my loss of words.

Wanda held my gaze once more, eyes half lidded as they glanced down. Before I could even question what she was looking at, she waved goodbye and left.

"She's either starting to realise what a dick her boyfriend is or she's just really into you," Y/BF/N said, patting me on the back. "Maybe both, who knows?"

—

"You definitely cheated," I told Y/BF/N once we finished yet another round of air hockey. "Nobody wins six times in a row like that!"

He laughed at my expression. "Tell me, dear Y/N. How would I cheat? The concept of the game is simple, really. It's not my fault you're terrible."

I rolled my eyes lightheartedly. "Seventh time's the charm. C'mon."

He chuckled, about to put more money in the machine, before his eyes got distracted by something behind me. "Well, would you look at that. The Maximoff twins are here."

"Very funny," I said with a knowing look. "You can't throw me off like that. We've established I'm already terrible. Now c'mon. Let's go!"

"I wish I was joking," he said, shaking his head.

I scoffed, not believing him, and turned around to prove him wrong, but I was surprised when I saw Wanda and Pietro walking into the arcade we were in. They seemed to spot us instantly, waving in our direction before approaching us.

"Fancy seeing you here," Pietro teased with a smile as they stopped before us.

I cracked a smile as Y/BF/N joined my side. "We're hanging out. And you?"

Wrapping an arm around his sister's shoulder, he tugged Wanda close to him. "Sibling bonding time."

Wanda rolled her eyes at his childishness, but I could tell she found it endearing all the same.

"Well, if you want, you can hang with us," Y/BF/N offered, and we all looked to him, myself raising a brow his way. He seemed to sense my reluctance, it egging him on as he grinned at them. "Y/N doesn't mind. Do you, Y/N?"

I swallowed hard as I looked between the twins. "'Course not."

And that's how I found myself playing arcade games with the Maximoff twins that Saturday afternoon. It was actually pretty fun, with Pietro being as competitive as I was and Wanda being the sweetest loser with everything she played. It was so adorable, but I ended up letting her win some games of skee-ball just so I could see that cute nose scrunch of hers as she realised she'd won.

"You gonna let me win like that, too?" Pietro caught on as he took his sister's place in playing against me. He had a mischievous grin on his lips and I felt my mouth go dry at what he was implying.

"You wish," I said, playing it cool, though I wondered if he cared that I clearly let Wanda win. He wouldn't read into it, right?

Pietro took his go as he spoke. "So, I heard what happened with you and Nate at school last week."

I closed my eyes, cringing at the reminder. Pietro merely laughed.

"You kicked him super hard, right?" he asked excitedly. "I heard his face went so red with anger that you could fry an egg on it! And don't forget that punch, goddamn what I would pay to have seen that!"

"Pietro!" Wanda scolded from behind us as her and Y/BF/N played air hockey. "Don't be a tool!"

I felt my face heat up with embarrassment as Pietro continued to laugh. Y/BF/N joined in whilst Wanda tried to hide the smile dancing on her lips.

"You're not even together anymore," Pietro called to Wanda between laughter. Wait, did I hear that right?

"You and Nate broke up?" Y/BF/N asked with disbelief. "Our grade's 'it' couple broke up?"

Wanda ran a hand through her hair to distract from her flittering eyes. "He treated you horribly last week. Both of you." She glanced my way before looking at her shoes. "He was a jerk. It was long overdue... Also, I would have broken up with him there and then had I known what he'd said to you. I'm sorry he said what he did."

She stared at me with apologetic eyes and I wasn't sure what to say or do other than nod awkwardly and look away. The fact that she'd broken up with him put a smile on my face though.

"I just think it's awesome," Pietro admitted, before saluting playfully to me. "Thank you for your service. I knew you were awesome, but this is a whole new level."

I sighed, attempting to hide my smile, before straightening up to play. Pietro and I played some skee-ball before I decided to have a go at the claw machine. Wanda was at the one beside me, attempting to win herself a fluffy black cat plush toy. She'd had three goes before giving up, admitting to defeat.

"Typical Wanda," Pietro teased. "Giving up when the going gets tough."

She punched him in the arm, making him jump and rub it. That elicited a smile from her, making me laugh at their immaturity.

"How about Wanda and I go and get a table in the diner next door whilst you finish up winning whatever it is you're trying to win?" Y/BF/N asked, looking to me, as if assigning blame.

"I already told you, I'm not leaving this machine until I win at least one thing," I stated stubbornly.

"The amount of money you've put into the machine won't make up for whatever you win," Y/BF/N teased with amusement.

"Just go," I said, waving my hand dismissively. "I'll be there soon."

"I'll wait with her," Pietro said, resting a hand on my shoulder, making me shrug him off jokingly. "See you soon," he added with a laugh, to his sister and Y/BF/N.

When they left, I looked to Pietro with an amused smile. "I don't need you to look after me, y'know."

He shrugged and looked through the glass of the claw machine. "I know. But I stayed to give you some advice, princess."

"Oh, really? And what advice is that?" I asked, before putting some coins in the machine to have another go.

"People usually tend to win these things for people they like, right?" he asked, nodding to the plush toys in the machine.

"Or for themselves," I corrected with a curious smile. "Take Wanda for example. How badly did she want that cat?"

He crossed his arms, smiling with amusement. "You could win it for her, y'know."

"What?" I asked, half paying attention as I attempted to grab a teddy bear.

"Win the cat for my sister and give it to her?"

I ended up dropping the teddy from the claw as I looked to Pietro with shock. He laughed at my expression, leaning against the machine.

"You do like her, right? Otherwise this is awkward," he added as an afterthought, looking down and smiling to himself.

My jaw hung open. "I– er– I never really– I don't–"

"She must definitely like you," Pietro noted, glancing at me.

I licked my lips as I found my words. "Did she," I cleared my throat, "did she say something?"

"Well, no," he said, "but she looks like she wants to murder me every time I hang out with you."

"That's just a coincidence," I said, shaking my head and looking back to the machine. "She's not–" I thought about, before shaking my head again. "No."

I appreciated Pietro's help, but Wanda definitely didn't like me like that. She was just protective of her brother and friendly to me. It didn't mean anything.

"Look, you don't have to listen to me," he said, straightening up and looking at the machine as I slotted another coin in. "But you could give it a shot. See what happens."

I glanced at him, his blue eyes watching me knowingly, a matching smirk on his lips.

"Fine," I gave in, hoping it wouldn't backfire. "Let's see what happens..."

#wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff imagine #marvel imagine #marvel #mcu #elizabeth olsen #wanda maximoff au

[your-brilliant-lady-m]

Part 4 - Basic Concepts of Miraculous Ladybug: Glamour

You can call it however you want: kid's show logic, superhero disguise logic, magical girl show logic, cartoon laws, suspension of disbelief, etc. But the fact that nobody recognises Marinette, Adrien and others when they are suited up IS NOT BAD WRITING. It's one of the main laws of this genre. That's not because characters are stupid, okay? So, being frustrated that everyone in the show acts stupid about this "wearing a mask that covers only eyes" trope is strange. This criticism is not valid or fair.

But, this trope has to make sense in-universe as a worldbuilding and narrative element.

Miraculous doesn't give us much direct information on how glamour works. And in this case, I think we need both SHOW and TELL. Because if you don't establish the glamour rules clearly, you are going to run into problems and create unfortunate implications with your storytelling choices.

Appearance

Miraculous obviously gives our heroes magical glamour. In "Lady WiFi" we find out that masks can't be taken off. It's magic. No other explanation is needed.

Miraculous can slightly change the appearance of users (eyes, face shape, height and hairstyles). People can identify and notice the hairstyles of heroes (numerous Ladybug wigs, statue in Copycat). Jagged Stone points out the change of hair when he mistakes Chloe for Ladybug ("Antibug"). But it's just a costume. There is no magic that prevents Jagged from understanding that Chloe isn't Ladybug. So, how does it work? But it's forgivable because it's cartoon logic. Suspension of disbelief works here, I suppose. I won't judge this too harshly.

Glamour also obviously prevents people from making a connection that Marinette and Ladybug have identical hairstyles. So people know that Ladybug wears her hair in pigtails, but magic does not allow them to notice similarities.

Another important question. Does glamour work on Kwamis? Can they see who is behind the mask?

New York Special makes it clear that magic does not affect robots and they can see through glamour. Does that mean that Markov, AI built by Max, knows the identities of Ladybug and Chat Noir? And it's never addressed.

Plagg in "Frightningale" says that holders can subconsciously choose their superhero appearance. This is actually pretty interesting and I like this idea a lot. Except the show is not consistent with this. The transformation of Master Fu looks identical to Nathalie's. And we have seen how different from each other Ladybug and Black Cat holders looked in the past. At the same time, Master Fu and Nino have different takes on Turtle superhero suit.

Age Glamour

Does age glamour exist? Do people see Ladybug, Chat Noir and other heroes as adults even when they look like teenagers to the audience (their height and build are smaller even when they are transformed)? Is that why no one ever questions the fact that children nearly die on a daily basis?

I mentioned unfortunate implications earlier. Well, this is where they come into play. Let's talk about "Copycat". A lot of people discussed it before me, so I won't bore you with details.

When I watched "Copycat" for the first time Theo's crush on Ladybug didn't bother me, because I thought that he sees Ladybug as his peer, a girl who is about 20-23 years old. Theo is an artist, his character design is that of an adult. He has his own studio, its appearance indicates that he did serious commissions in the past. The guy has no idea that Ladybug is like 13.

But then we get "Heroes' Day" and "Ladybug". And Hawkmoth calls them "kids", which means that there is no age glamour. Others see Ladybug and Chat Noir as teenagers. Perhaps, other Miraculous users aren't affected by age glamour. Therefore regular people see all heroes as adults but other heroes are able to guess their age more or less correctly. But you must spell this thing out because the audience can interpret "Copycat" differently. If there is no age glamour, then Theo is crushing on a teenage girl and he is fully aware of this fact. And this doesn't look good for your show.

The "No Age Glamour" theory is further confirmed in "Sapotis" where Alya just straight up analyses voice recordings and says that Ladybug is a girl their age. If glamour exists then it should also cover technology. Kwami can't be photographed. Face and voice recognition software shouldn't be able to analyse transformed superheroes and detect their identities in any way.

Besides, after "Sapotis" Alya should definitely be sure that Ladybug is not 5000 years old (also not an adult), especially after she wore Miraculous herself and was one door away from detransformed Ladybug.

SEASON 4 UPDATE! There's no age glamour after all.

In "Furious Fu" Su Han calls Chat Noir a child without knowing his identity. It means that everyone knows their superheroes are teenagers. "Copycat" can't be saved from that, uh, subtext anymore. No one questions the danger of their job or the balance of their lives outside of the mask. No one doubts their competence after "Origins" ever again. No one becomes annoyed after being bossed around by two teenagers in spandex. You had many opportunities to drop these details into the narrative. Someone could have been akumatized over this (I will not be ordered around by some magical kids!).

I don't know why writers decided not to use at least this idea and slightly adjust "Copycat" if they got rid of the age glamour completely. It can be explained as kid's show logic, but unfortunately, I'm reluctant to do it. If many characters sympathise with akuma victims on-screen, why not with the teenage superheroes who must fight them?

New York Special had this weird focus on collateral damage out of nowhere (the damage done by sentimonster Robostus) and yet it has 0 effect on the main story. No one in Paris is pissed that their 2 teenage protectors weren't there.

Ironically, "Furious Fu" and that one remark made by Su Han also created unfortunate implications for other moments in the show. Just hear me out. Apparently, Jagged Stone wrote a "thank you" song for Ladybug knowing that she is 13-15 year old child back in "Pixelator". Fandom is more than happy to roast Lila for lying about saving Jagged Stone's cat and him writing her a "thank you" song. Fandom claims that Lila's tale could harm Jagged's reputation, when he wrote a song for teenage Ladybug several weeks prior. Meanwhile, in-universe this lie is 100% believable.

If we put on "realism glasses", then both this whole song situation and Theo's crush in "Copycat" have uncomfortable implications. However, the show's canon can't be viewed and criticised through "realism glasses". I admit that bits and pieces of my criticisms are affected by these "glasses", but, ultimately, I'm trying to be fair and concentrate only on things that can't be justified by "cartoon logic and worldbuilding".

Could the existence of age glamour solve this problem of unfortunate implications and other concerns mentioned above? YES. Is it better for the narrative? YES. Is essential for the story? NOT QUITE. Could the absence of age glamour be called an irredeemable storytelling flaw? NO.

Disclaimer: On a side note, only older audience can notice these implications. Children, the target audience, most likely won't understand this subtext simply because they don't have enough experience. So, perhaps, this criticism is unfair, because these moments only look weird to me as an adult. It's like an adult joke in a cartoon that you don't get until you reach a certain age.

There's nothing technically wrong with adult writing a "thank you" song for a teenager. It's just an expression of gratitude. However, unfortunately, we live in a world, where adults normally wouldn't write songs for teens to express gratitude only. In real life similar actions would imply pedophilia and would be actively scorned by the public. No one would risk their reputation like that even if their intentions were genuinely pure and sincere. But this show can't be viewed through "realism glasses", because it's a cartoon and in certain cases we as the audience must use suspension of disbelief and pretend that certain things are possible for plot to happen.

Su Han also wants to give Ladybug and Black Cat to adults. Why didn't Master Fu do this then? Writers don't give us any explanation. Throughout the show we never question this up until the moment it's revealed that adults don't have time-limited powers. Then comes "Furious Fu". Story suddenly becomes self-aware here. Because apparently nothing prevented Fu from giving the most powerful Miraculous to adults who won't have time limit and will be more effective against Hawkmoth (see part 3 for more details).

I have a very good example of Age Glamour done right. It works in the story. There is no confusion or unfortunate implications. There is like one plothole connected to the glamour (it's been years and I still can't forgive them for Cornelia and Caleb) but otherwise, it's a pretty solid example of both show and tell. Clearly, writers wanted to avoid uncomfortable implications which are present in "Copycat". I am talking about W.I.T.C.H. comic books and animated series.

If you are not familiar with it, I'll give you a brief explanation. The story follows 5 girls, the Guardians of Kandrakar who are chosen to protect their world and parallel ones from evil. They receive magical powers from the amulet known as the Heart of Kandrakar. Their powers are based on elements: fire, water, earth, air and energy. Our main characters are about 13-15 years old. In the animated series they are younger and they attend middle school, making them 12-14 years old. But the transformation makes them look 18-20. They look like young women to each other and to other people. At the same time, people can recognise them, their looks and voice don't change. Most people don't know that they are really teenagers when they are not transformed and these people don't know that magic can make them look older. That's why everyone treats Guardians like adults when they are transformed. Comics establish this fact in the very beginning. In first issues characters state that they look older, we are also shown this multiple times.

In fact, one of the first side plots revolves around the fact that Irma uses her powers to sneak into the disco club to meet up with her crush. Irma is 13 at the beginning of the series, she is a high school freshman. Her crush, Andrew Hornby is a senior guy 17-18 years old. Irma has liked him for a long time and wants to impress him, so she decides to be clever about this. She transforms into her Guardian form of the 18-year-old girl, hides her wings, sneaks out to the club after her parents are asleep without any problem, and meets Andrew, who obviously doesn't recognise Irma in this girl who looks about his age. Smitten Andrew offers her a ride and 13-year-old Irma doesn't understand the implication of that offer, so she accepts. And, obviously, he decides that she is interested in more than just a ride home, since she agreed, and the comic implies that he fully intended for them to have sex in the backseat of his car. But Irma understands the implication only when Andrew tries to kiss her. She panics and turns him into a frog. And she actually pulls this "I need to look mature" trick more than once over the course of the series.

It's not the only situation where this age difference is handled well and makes sense. People who know the main characters in everyday life remark on their older appearance during transformation. Sometimes people flirt with Guardians when they are transformed. In one of the side-novels centred around Cornelia, she is worried that the prince of the realm they helped to save from famine would try to marry her. That never happens, but Cornelia actually brainstorms with her friends about how to tell the prince that she is really 15.

There are many other plot points where this happens, but I think that you got the idea. I really like how "Age Glamour" was handled in W.I.T.C.H.

How do we fix this? Create the situations where people offhandedly mention "Age Glamour" in the presence of Marinette or Adrien, use Kwami for this.

"Don't worry, dear. Chat Noir and Ladybug are adults, who know what they are doing. I am sure that they will handle this. "

Theo could say: "Oh, I wonder which university Ladybug goes to?"

"So, does that mean that other people see us as grown-ups, Tikki?"

A few words and boom, problem solved. Then allow the "show don't tell" rule do the rest.

#miraculous ladybug #ml #miraculous analysis #miraculous meta #ml meta #ml analysis #miraculous transformations #miraculous critical #miraculous ladybug critical #miraculous glamour #superhero glamour #miraculoustalesofladybugandcatnoir

[disapoitment]

Am I about to overanalyse another throwaway gag? Absolutely! This time it's from the classic season one episode, Napoleon Brainaparte.

So, towards the very end of this episode, our poor, beloved mice are about to meet their tragic end. They're threateningly informed that an afterlife awaits them, and as they cower in what they believe to be their final moments, the viewers are given a glimpse into their heads...specifically, what they each imagine heaven to be like. This scene surprised me on my first watch, because it was pretty unexpected. And surprisingly...sweet?

Let's start off with Brain's idea of heaven, which is shown first.

Right off the bat we have him surrounded by a chorus of Pinky angels. This is one of the rebuttals I have for people who doubt Brain cares about Pinky...I mean, if I didn't like someone, I definitely wouldn't include them in my idealised afterlife, nevermind multiple versions of them!

Uh, I digress. The thing I actually want to draw attention to here is the fact that Brain actively desires Pinky in his life (or, afterlife, in this case) and can't imagine existing, in any form, without him. We've seen it time and time again, from the episode "Snowball" to that one story from the comics, but this is one of the earliest, most apparent instances of it in the show. This scene alone proves to the audience that Brain isn't using Pinky to reach his goals, but genuinely sees him as a friend and a companion. And maybe there's an unhealthy splash of codependancy in there.

To take this a step further, an afterlife is commonly portrayed as a sort of perfect world; a place of eternal happiness, even. It's safe to assume from this daydream that Brain subconsciously associates Pinky with the same joy and contentment associated with heaven. We can even interpret this scene as Brain viewing Pinky as an angel, which is not only heart-wrenchingly sweet, but makes a fair bit of sense, all things considered.

After all, though Brain himself tends to shy away from explicit displays of emotions and empathy, he's been established to admire these traits in others. In "TV or not TV", he claims to find Princess Diana (who was well-known for her activism) attractive, and he repeatedly praises Pinky's kind nature throughout the series, even when it directly interferes with a plan. He even sabotages his own plots when Pinky objects for moral reasons, eg "Inherit The Wheeze", and then there's the iconic instance of him DESTROYING his own machinery after tearing up over Pinky's Christmas letter. I believe this is why Pinky is an angel in Brain's eyes: he's compassionate, he's pure-hearted, and he's innocent. Well, innocent in the sense of intention, at least. Pinky represents all the things Brain is too afraid to be himself, lest morality get in the way of his goals.

On top of that, Pinky always stays by Brain's side. He's the only person/mouse who has never left him, hurt him, or betrayed him. It's natural that someone so lonely, cynical and self-loathing as Brain would view his polar opposite as a literal angel...or, even more impactfully, a full chorus of them. Of course Brain's idealised heaven has himself as an angel too, but I'd say that's either his ego coming into play (he's both self-hating and conceited) or just to serve as a visual signifier that he's...um, dead. The flock of Pinky angels is what I'm focusing on here, because the sheer amount of them in comparison to Brain highlights them in this miniature megalomaniac's reverie. And also because it's more interesting to take the analysis in this direction! ♡

Honestly, there's not quite as much I can say about this segment of the scene. Brain is on a throne, so presumably he's imagining himself ruling...heaven? Good for you, Brain!

It's very in-character for Brain to put himself as the centrepiece of his ideal afterlife, and as much as I love this little guy, the angel imagery is obviously ironic. Whether intentional or not, this can be connected to his egotism, as well as his belief that everything he does, no matter how severe or morally corrupt, can be justified by the end goal of ruling Earth and making it a better place. I don't believe that Brain genuinely sees himself as an angel when it comes to his purity, but rather that he thinks all his sins can be forgiven if/when he becomes the "benevolent dictator" (his words, not mine) of the planet...or maybe that's just what he tells himself to be able to sleep at night.

He looks noticeably very content and calm as an angel. I would go off on a tangent about how this is a version of Brain who is finally freed from the burden of his never-ending cycle of failure, and that this suggests that he needs to break out of his world domination obsession to ever be truly happy, but...I'll spare you.

Oh, Pinky. Poor, poor Pinky. He's so selfless that it stings :(

It says a painful amount that in his idea of heaven...he's not even in it. I don't think he hates himself, yet he's so good-natured that he ends up neglecting his own desires for the sake of others. In this scene, he has literally forgotten to include himself in his own idealised world. I hate to say this, but this could be a result of his codependent relationship with Brain. He's so focused on Brain's happiness and goals that his life almost revolves around him at this point, and as I mentioned before, they fall apart without eachother. Pinky pours his heart and soul into helping Brain, partly because he genuinely believes Brain will make the world a better place, and partly because he'd do almost anything for Brain's sake. His love for Brain is so strong that he's the focus of Pinky's own paradise.

What I find significant is Brain taking the role of every single angel in the fantasy. He's portrayed as a sweet and wholesome creature wearing a cute smile, a stark contrast to reality. Even just him being an angel in the first place implies that this is how Pinky sees him. A big part of the latter's motivation to help Brain take over the world, though scarcely mentioned in the show itself, is so it can become a happier, nicer place for everyone. As a determined optimist, Pinky shares the desire to improve the Earth, and so views Brain as a sort of hero, someone surely worthy of a halo and wings.

His view of Brain as a good person can be explained further when we consider that he doesn't mind being bopped (and in some interpretations, downright enjoys it), can shrug off any verbal abuse, and clings onto any snippets of warmth he receives from Brain. The things others would raise their eyebrows at are things Pinky ignores or adores. I think it's safe to say that, overall, Pinky is the type to focus on his friend's positive traits and simply ignore most of the negatives, as seen in "Pinky's Plan" when he gives an extremely sugarcoated description of Brain to the world leaders. Because of all this, in Pinky's mind, Brain truly is an angel. It's bittersweet, really.

And here we have it again. Brain on the throne, ruling. This is all Pinky truly wants—for his friend to be happy, fulfilled and at peace, making whatever world he may rule a better place. There's not an awful lot more to say now, since this is just a repeat of the scene from Brain's fantasy, but I think that's the most heartwarming part. These two mice are working towards the exact same goal, and yet their reasons for doing so are quite different: Brain to rule the world, Pinky to make his friend smile. It's almost poetic in its simplistic beauty. The voice actors said it best when they described the show as a "desperate love story", and the little scenes like this only prove that to me.

Welp, that's all I have to say for now! I haven't reached this hard since I tried to get to the chromatica oreos on the top shelf in Tesco. But this was fun, anyway! Thank you ever so much for reading :'D Your patience must be incredible! 💕

#pinky and the brain #patb

[yellowloid]

Terra incognita is suuuuuuch an amazing story!! I've read it so many times!! 😍🙏😍🙏

- What inspired you to write it?

- What was your thinking process in terms of the way their relationship evolved?

- Was there anything else you had thought of doing but ended up scrapping?

- What was the process like in chosing thunderstorms as his phobia?

- What happens next? 😘

Thank youuuu you're an amazing writer!

aaaah can't believe you've even reread it multiple times, thank you so much!!

(possible spoilers ahead in case anyone reading this hasn't read the fic in question)

- first of all, the inspiration behind it... i started writing it late august/early september. i'd spent all summer working on another wip, a vampire fic that ended up not convincing me at all; so i just dropped it, and i could've started working on some other ideas i still have in mind (which will, eventually, get written) but instead i got hit with this random vision of alex being afraid of thunderstorms and miles comforting him, which then of course turned nsfw because why not? it was a rainy day and i just had to look out the window to have the revelation lmao + i'm a sucker for hurt/comfort, i'd say it's probably my favourite trope ever, so i immediately got really into the idea.

- i really liked the idea of alex being like 'well my heart does strange things whenever i'm around miles and i definitely check him out and smile like an idiot at his texts!! that is bizarre😳 what could it be??🤔' and other oblivious bullshit. i'd say he knew, subconsciously, what it was, but he'd brush it off thinking it was just A Moment TM or being afraid that it'd damage their friendship if miles knew. speaking of miles, i wanted him to be his usual protective and casually flirty self when it came to alex.

add the thunderstorm to give them a push in the right direction, and miles' protectiveness + their casual intimacy would finally make alex realise that no, it wasn't just a momentary feeling, and that it was reciprocated, so why not go for it? miles was a bit reluctant at the end bc he was afraid he'd have his heart broken, but for once i wanted alex to be the one who pushed for them to give it a try (and of course bc i needed to toss some more hurt/comfort in there lol)

- i'm really not sure if i understood what you mean with this question, so sorry if it's not what you meant! if you mean other wips i was working on before focusing on this fic, then definitely that vampire fic i mentioned earlier; if you meant other possible developments for this fic instead of the one i ended up going for, then i'd say not really, no. in my head i had a clear idea of what i wanted to happen, so i just needed to get it on paper!

- idk if it counts more as an influence in my choice for his phobia or as inspiration, but the idea actually reminded me of a girl i knew in middle school - which was a very long time ago, so i don't really remember the details, but basically she was really scared of thunderstorms, to the point that she would start crying, shaking and overall panicking whenever she heard loud thunder. some people in our class made fun of her for it, and even though we weren't friends i felt a bit sorry for her. when i was a kid i used to have the same fear, so yeah, that probably also influenced me.

- it's a bit of an open ending, isn't it? obviously everyone can imagine whatever they want to happen next, but i'd say there will definitely be a lot of talking, since they'll need to make things clear between them to avoid misunderstandings. sharing something like ~that~ with your best friend isn't something that happens every day, especially if it means you both find out it goes much deeper than that, and the pining you thought was unrequited turns out to be very much reciprocated instead. here we've seen alex's pov, but miles has been wanting him for who knows how long! my man was so shocked alex wanted him too that he almost couldn't believe it, poor guy

basically these oblivious idiots need to learn how to communicate, but i'm sure they'll get there sooner rather than later. just like with his phobia, something he's hidden for a really long time, i think this experience will help alex to be a bit more open about his feelings. of course miles will be there for him no matter what, which will undoubtedly make it a bit easier :')💞

thank you so much for your questions and for your appreciation of this fic, it really means a lot!! ❤

#answered

[foxymoxynoona]

It’s hilarious how we’re all assuming Sasha will be the one to get the STD. What if its Jungkook?

I think it’s because subconsciously, most of us might want her to be ‘punished’, or face some type of obvious repercussion for the break up and the many bad decisions she’s been making. Or maybe I’m wrong… and thinking too much.

Still haven’t read recent chapters. 😂 My self control should win me awards (lies). Foxy please update soon, I don’t know how much longer I can last 😭 😭 .

I just want all the angst to pass so I don’t end up disliking Sasha and unshipping them. The last chapter I read, I was actually hoping they never get back together or at least for the next five years. The toxicity was just too upsetting.

Anyway, on a serious note, please take your time and update as you can. Welp, this got longer than I intended. Hope you’re having a good day 🦊 .

🥂

I don't think you're thinking too much; at least not if you compare it to how much I thought about everything I put into this story! And I mean I have literally gotten multiple comments from people (serious or joking, they both kind of prove the same point...) who said Sasha deserves to get an STD.

You have really good insights when you send in comments so I'm going to hope this is ok in a response to you and elaborate a little more on a topic I get really excited analyzing and see at play right now with Flux...

Without referencing anyone's comments specifically, I'm just talking general trends, it's probably unsurprising to know that in my 11 stories over the last year and change, I have seen that BTS men can get away with WAY MORE "misbehavior" than the female OCs before I see escalated reader outcry. JK's non-con sexual acts in Lowlander didn't get the reaction that Isabella interrupting her own orgasm in Amended did. Obviously these incidents have context that also impact how we react to them, sure. And there's obviously a starting bias we have towards even fictional JK based on our love for real JK because we know I'm writing him with a good heart in my stories whereas you're meeting the OCs fresh, so this isn't a perfect comparison. But I do think it's hard to completely divorce the common sexist ideas the world has about female behavior and identity from the way we react to fictional female characters. I know I'm not perfect about it; a desire to look more closely at ways in which my own thoughts still reflect some of the very sexist ideas I was raised with was literally the starting of Amended! (And, arguably, I could write an analysis about how it still reveals internalized mysogyny through the narrative choices I made... 😬)

In general we tend to hold female characters to a higher bar of behavior and expect them to "know better" than male counterparts. This often holds even in a case like Flux where we know JK was raised by good parents and has seen good relationships modeled through them and his hyungs, and we also know Sasha does not seem to have had any good relationships modeled or have any specific family we know of who could have taught her anything healthy. I think she even said at one point (unless this is a spoiler? if so oops haha) that she's never seen a long, loving relationship. She's never had a relationship endure her having a mental health crisis. Her only long, healthy relationships are with three platonic friends, no romance or sex involved. Her family is three friends she met as a teenager who are similar to her in terms of age/experience/knowledge. But we expect her to model behavior she's never seen while giving JK more space to learn and grow through mistakes. I'm simplifying here because there are so many more details that can be brought in to understand this whole picture, some of which you all don't have yet, but I hope you get the gist of what I mean. Female OCs have to prove they deserve our beloved JK, but JK tends to get the benefit of the doubt unless I really swing him hard (Meadow and Sugar Fairy the reactions did manage to flip! Is it kind of interesting those were my most "well-behaved" female OCs too? Lowlander was sort of middling, some readers really loved Mishka and some found her behavior really off-putting in ways that are very interesting to analyze, even stopped reading because of her.)

Not saying every critical response is completely gender biased, or unfounded/unjustified, or a result of mental health stigma (which I didn't even get into in here but definitely comes up with some of my stories), and obviously responses will be messy because I intentionally try to write messy characters in messy scenarios. I try not to push ideas here and instead let my works speak for themselves and spend more time listening to reader understanding and response than proselytizing mine. Even when I disagree with the response in a specific comment, it's still interesting and enlightening to see other viewpoints and opinions. My own opinions are of course baised by my own life experiences and studies and I love having that broadened; in a way my stories are, for me, a big long discussion about ethics, identity, and society. LOVE IT.

Ok I'm sorry, I got carried away. It's just so interesting to me to get to see how people respond to my characters and events and how that changes over time and analyze how to impact or direct those feelings as a writer. I wish I could just give a readers guide of questions because I'd be so interested to read the think about the answers (not leading questions, genuinely curious questions like "What do you consider Sasha's many bad decisions?" and "What do you see as the differences in morality between Sasha having sex with Seojoon and JK having sex with the women in the hotel in Japan?")

OK I WILL STOP I AM SORRY

#asks #flux #mywriting

[the-satellite]

Hello friends and welcome to ☆Hateful Nostalgia☆. I was exposed to the mob talker mod WAY too young bc I was an unsupervised child on the internet watching mod showcases and SkyDoesMinecraft. Looking back these sucked, the stories were often bland and the designs were milk toast at best and tits out at worst. So for the sake of procrastinating on working on anything substantial I grabbed the main 6 I remembered and gussied em up. Redesigns, rewrites, better names, all that bullshit. If your interested in better photos, design notes, story details and rambling hit the basement, otherwise here's a line up you should click for better quality.

Also I wrote all this once before already but I deleted it like a dumb bitch. On the night Unus Annus was murdered in front of my eyes no less. Was a rough fuckin night.

The Creeper- Kupa. An explosive pyromaniac with a habit of making empty threats and yelling. She protects what she believes to be her territory with a suicidal passion, but if you manage to get her to cool down and soften up she's pretty sick to hand out with. Hard of hearing, has at least one bout of head trauma at all times, and deathly allergic to cats.

Because the creeper is kinda the og I wanted to reference AT2's design more than the others, but I'm p sure the only thing I actually kept was the red hair and brown gloves. Otherwise I was doing whatever. I really wanted to lean into the explody bit of creepers, so I gave her some bite and dressed her in clothes referenced from Irish railroad workers. This may also be why I keep imaging her with a very heavy Irish or Scottish accent, whichever would be most incomprehensible when angry. Every color but her skin was color picked from one of the references, with some minor alterations for makes my eyes happy reasons.

With Kupa I imagine a story line with her would largely be about her as a character and her development than like an actual adventure narrative like everyone else. She starts off ready to blow up both you and herself in a misguided attempt to defend what she sees as her's and opens up and learns not everyone is out to get her. Lots of time taken to understand her childhood and how she ended up how she is. Very simple, probably the default or tutorial run people would go through.

The Zombie- Bee. The ill husk of a missing explorer suffering from a less than conventional appetite. She wallows in her self imposed loneliness, believing herself to be an irredeemable monster doomed to hurt those around her. What she really needs is a buddy and some clue to who she used to be. Rough voiced, chronically fatigued, and prone to spontaneous combustion in sunlight.

 I definitely consider this one the weakest for design sadly. I imagined Zombies as humans who went into strange caves and caverns and didn't come out for years, only to pop up as completely different people. I just tossed AT2's design. The first thing I did was make her a bit of a genderbent Steve and tinted her green bc Zombies in game are just Steve but green. Tore up her clothes, colored picked the darkest colors I could from the clothes on the in game and boom, Bee. I do vaguely regret not making her eyes pure black but I also still wanted her to be human enough to fit with the other overworld mods.

 Ok so Bee actually has a basic story. When you meet her she's aggressive, but as a warning. She fears the possibility she may hurt somebody so heads for threats immediately. Going back and forth between her cave and village for a while you learn more about the situation with the missing folks who come back and Bee as a person. After a bit you pick her up off her depressed ass and start a nocturnal adventure of refinding your past, adapting to who your becoming, overcoming self destuction, and slow burn babey!!! 

The Skeleton- Ulna. One of the few surviving warriors of a now destroyed kingdom and dead culture. She spends most of her time now traveling alone, hiding in trees and shooting anything see sees as a threat- which is everything- in the face with homemade arrows. Very much suffering from loss of her home and a bad case of lost purpose. A woman of few words, very antisocial, and naturally nocturnal.

 I came in with the Skeleton wanting to make her seem mysterious, so my first thought was immediately a cloak and a mask, but I wanted her face to like be visible so I went with the face paint. I didn't actually know that I wanted to do under there so I went with wraps that are reminiscent of the original outfit but still not tits out bc it's so fucking easy! Gave her a quiver, color picked the cloak and face paint from the in game model and the wraps from AT2'S art. I did like. Subconsciously draw her eyes the way I do Asian characters but I didn't have anything specific in mind so like go nuts with what you think she is.

 Ulna's deal is very much her lack of purpose or home and the entire thing is about finding that again. She's found sitting up in a tree during a storm pointing a bow and arrow into your face. She eventually let's you stick around until the storm is over and theres some bonding into deep night until the rain stops. You ask if she wants to come with on your little travelling sword for hire business, she says sure, sleep schedule shenanigans, backstory angst, and road trip bonding happens and she eventually decides that helping people is her new purpose and you're her new home

The Spider- Park. A young adult experiencing the world for the first time through her tribe's rite of passage. She's really just trying to figure out how to live life outside of the cave she's been stuck in her entire life and aggressively trying to be an independent adult despite not knowing anything about being an independent adult. Its projection. Blind in the daylight, naive and excitable, and taken to refusing help at her own risk.

 Ok so. I don't know who looked at the spider and said "purple haired loli with puffy pants" so I once again yeeted the whole thing, only really keeping the kinda cutesy and childish bits. Spiders are a tribe of humans what live in caves unless they've broken off to live on the surface. Kids are kept inside until they hit a certain milestone, where they come up to explore at night. They're usually small and pale, but are pretty kickass when necessary. Again picked the colors off the in game model, played with the lightest gray for the skin, and bc I couldn't figure out anyway to use the stripes so they're on the patches lol.

 Park's meeting is probably the funniest and most meet cute one here, in that she accidentally drops on top of you from a little cliff drop off. Cue loads of apologies and an explanation about the spider deal and being blind in light. She asks for some help getting around and bam babey friendship and emotional attachment! What follows is kinda a buddy of coming of age story with the obligatory goes home and is miserable scene. Generally it's just about being a scared young adult and having someone to fall back on and why that's important. Also crushes and young people being bad at that.

 The Blaze- Amber. A demonic entity who would let the world burn and the sun die if it meant she'd get her soul back. She's known for being ruthless, taking souls through force instead of making deals like other Blazes. Keeps this forceful nature even once she's become friendly, makes you do dump shit. Territorial, eyes glow and dim with her life, and runs remarkably warm.

 Amber here is the first one I actually did! I was just. Really tired that she was in a bikini. I decided early on I wanted overworld mobs to be human and everyone else was decidedly not, so Blazes are demons who gave up their souls under false pretenses to other Blazes. Because of how little clothes AT2's design wore I had essentially free reign and my thought was immediately to lean on golden knight bc of how Blazes are found protecting fortresses. The gold isn't picked from anything bc I was looser with the colors, but everything else is, and the hair is supposed to represent the smoke. Also the sticks in her hair are blaze rods bc I don't like them just floating around her.

Amber is found in the Nether obviously, protecting a fortress and immediately trying beat your ass and either incinerate you or make you give up your soul. During you prove yourself a p damn good fighter and she makes a deal to show you how Blazes exist and pursade you to give your soul up willingly. Bonding happens and she explains where the souls go and what happened to her. Insert line about how she dug in the sand for her soul until her fingers bleed bc I'm an Arcana freak lol. In general I'd just like her to learn to adapt to who she is now and learning to live life well instead of letting her anger burn her up from the inside out.

 The Enderman- Violet. A confused but sweet young bit of void created by and connected to the Ender Dragon. Her relationship with reality is tenuous at best and abusive at worst, making stable existence rather difficult. She doesn't know a name, age, gender, anything about herself aside from that she likes sweaters. Communicates primarily through psychic connections, docile and sweet, and melts like a witch in water.

 Violet was incredibly easy, so this may be way short. Endermen are decidedly human shaped void from the End with varying sentience. They're direct extensions of the Ender Dragon, and nobody knows how they're made or where they come from, not even they do. Adventurers who escaped The End say they seem scared of it though. Violet in particular is pretty damn new and extraordinary nonconforming, and I tried to show that with her sweater and ponytail. Once again, literally all colors picked. Definitely the simplest but one of my favs.

Violet is the sweetest meet up I think. As your traveling between villages you notice a strange enderman watching you and plant a little flower in front of her. She picks it and you hear a happy little trill come from you and a pretty voice say thank you in your head. Now you have a tall dark teleporting travel buddy! After a little bit of back and forth she tells you in some broken English that the Ender Dragon made her but she doesnt know how, and that it's bad and needs to be killed for the sake of Endermen and that's the new goal. Spoiler they're the corrupted souls of those that died fighting it, with it gone Endermen are free to exist as their own being and do whatever, hurray!

#cosmic entity's art #minecraft #mob talker mod #mc creeper #mc zombie #mc skeleton #mc spider #mc blaze #mc enderman #character design

[yeniayofnymeria]

Arya Stark's Green Fork scene and Daenerys' Dream

Selam, hello!

I hadn't written for a while. I wanted to come back with a good topic. Actually, this was something that came to my mind a few years ago, but I had never thought before that there was a parallel with Dany's dream. I have recently started interpreting asoiaf dreams and prophecies, at which time I realized that these two subjects are similar.

(Sorry for my bad grammar.)

Dany's Dream

The dream takes place in a Storm of Swords 3rd Daenerys POV (I don't know if it's coincidence or intentional to see such a dream in the 3rd pov, of course, but it seemed like one of the triple loops to me for Dany).

That night she dreamt that she was Rhaegar, riding to the Trident. But she was mounted on a dragon, not a horse. When she saw the Usurper's rebel host across the river they were armored all in ice, but she bathed them in dragonfire and they melted away like dew and turned the Trident into a torrent. Some small part of her knew that she was dreaming, but another part exulted. This is how it was meant to be. The other was a nightmare, and I have only now awakened.

Dany was often compared to her older brother Rhaegar, if you remember... Naturally, she dreams of herself as Rhaegar, who went to the Trident river to triumph over the Rebels; this is her subconscious dream way of saying "I'm not like Viserys, I'm like Rhaegar, they say I am". So obviously Dany accept it by now. Of course, she goes to war on a dragon, not on a horse. As such, it is highly likely to be a dragon dream.

Now, the most common interpretation of this dream is as a sign of Dany's future war with the Others in the region of this river because of "ice armors". I thought the same when I first read it, but let's see what Martin said: “Prophecies come true unexpectedly... those prophecies that you see as spoilers aren't always what they seem... the prophecies should not be too obvious... ' words echo in my head. Despite these words, when people saw the “ice armors” depiction, Dany commented that she was fighting the Others. This is what even writes as an interpretation of this dream on the ASOIAF Wiki.

It's pretty obvious, don't you think? This came to mind first, and no other alternative thought was even suggested. In fact, we've read that the characters often interpret the prophecies they hear as they first come to mind, making inferences wrong. For example, when Cersei heard the prophecy, she believed that the valonqar was Tyrion; it will probably be Jaime, or maybe someone else too… When Dany saw the prophecies of betrayal, she quickly accepted Mirri and Jorah as two of the three betrayals, but the past actions of both do not fall under these three reported betrayals.

So I'm going to make another comment, going beyond the obvious. Now, assuming that the war we see will take place in the future, if Dany arrives in the Riverlands, on the Trident; there's a good chance she'll fight on the Green Fork side because Rhaegar was killed in an area connected to this place, and it was named Ruby Ford because of rubies spilling from his armor... Near here is Crossroads Inn. Since the river is shallow here, you can cross the river, the armies gathered and fought here. Naturally, the army that Dany sees is coming from the north to fight Dany. Green color is unlucky for Dany; The fact that Rhaegar was killed here, and the "ice-armoured" armies coming from the north... moreover, these are the "rebel armies(Starks)" for Dany...

I think there is a strong possibility that these armies are indeed the armies of the northerners. The armies of the north belong to the House Stark, representing the "ice" side in the pact of ice and fire. Even the name of the famous family heirloom sword was “ice”. In the fifth book Jon; We read that in one of his dreams he wore "ice armor". We see that the Others are not the only ones wearing ice armor in this series. In particular, seeing another pov character wearing the ice armor seen in the dream, in his dream, gives us the opportunity to interpret this dream differently than the Others. In a nutshell, it's likely Daenerys is fighting the northern army here, led by the Starks. So she will fight in the future... Dany sees here that she is burning them with fire, melting them and this rebel army overflowing the river against the water... Remember this part.

Arya and Sandor Scene

Now, when Sandor kidnaps Arya, he wants to take her across the river, but Arya doesn't know where she is. Just as Tyrion thought Jorah was taking him to Cersei, Arya thought Sandor was taking him to Cersei, and she thought the river she saw was the BLACK - WATER river, although she wasn't sure... of course there is a nice Arya-Tyrion parallel here too we have seen it... if we continue, when he saw the river, the sky was cloudy and it was raining; This, of course, made the river go wild. I will now interpret the chapter by quoting it bit by bit; of course, remember the dream that Dany had and look at what happened here.

When they reached the top of the ridge and saw the river, Sandor Clegane reined up hard and cursed.

The rain was falling from a black iron sky, pricking the green and brown torrent with ten thousand swords. It must be a mile across, Arya thought. The tops of half a hundred trees poked up out the swirling waters, their limbs clutching for the sky like the arms of drowning men. Thick mats of sodden leaves choked the shoreline, and farther out in the channel she glimpsed something pale and swollen, a deer or perhaps a dead horse, moving swiftly downstream. There was a sound too, a low rumble at the edge of hearing, like the sound a dog makes just before he growls.

The first thing that draws attention is the iron blackness of the sky... The fact that Arya thinks this place is BLACK water twice, both in this scene and later in the chapter, may be noteworthy as the emphasis on "black" because this is the green fork, the only thing that has anything to do with black is the sky... the pouring rain pierces the GREEN and BROWN stream with 10,000 swords... There are trees in the river too, their branches reaching to the sky look like the arms of drowning men, and mats of leaves choked the shoreline... Everyone knows that the leaves are green. We understand that the river is green fork with the "green" description, and the information that the town of Harroway is nearby is also given in the section, exactly on the green fork sides, even near Ruby Ford, like Crossroads Inn. So Sandor and Arya are trying to cross the Ruby Ford, just as Dany saw in her dream. As such, both the dream and this scene are happening same place; Green Fork, Ruby Ford.

The fact that the sky is black iron reminds us of Drogon, that the bones of dragons are black because of iron, and we can attribute the expression of the sky to the flying of dragons and attacking from the sky ( I might pushed this part too much). Therefore, the iron black sky becomes a somewhat meaningful description. From this sky comes 10,000 swords too... In this book, Dany had just bought 10,000 Unsullied. Aegon also has 10,000 men in the last book; Golden Company. In other words, an army of at least 10 thousand soldiers led by Dany comes here with her dragon and attacks Starks, northerens.

These 10,000 swords pierce this green river... ominous for the green dany; green symbolizes Dany's enemies... or, to be more precise, it's green side in Dance 2... You know that in the first Dance, the main parties were divided into greens and blacks; These colors were named as names because of the dresses the two queens wore in a tournament. Undoubtedly, what will happen in the 2nd dance will never, never happen same exacly, but they will be similar, a few common points; will be reflected. One of them is probably the separation of the sides into greens and blacks. Naturally, only the colors of the dragons can decide this; Since the black dragon is Dany's, Dany symbolizes the "black" side, which in this story coincides with the queen of the first dance anyway; We can think that Jon, who is expected to ride the green dragon, will also symbolize the green side. Remember my thread Jorah; Even Tyrion's eyes are black and green; a sign that he will switch sides. Of course, Aegon will probably take his side in this Dance 2 issue, I think it could be between 3 people, not two people, and there are signs about it (Like Tyrion's dream and Moqorro's Tyrion prophice)

The trees look like drowning men. Maybe it was a bit of a force, but I will make such a comment anyway. You know the connection between the beliefs of the Nords and the trees, the trees represent their beliefs. Green is already the symbol of the “nature” side; Remember my THREE HEADS thread... So it's only natural for Jon to represent the greens as the "balance" side(in battle of dawn).

Thus, the analogy of the treemen drowning in the river seems to fit almost exactly with the description of Dany's dream of coming from the sky with a dragon, setting the men in ice armor on fire, melting them into the river, and overflowing into the river, in other words, drowning. Already the river has overflowed and raged in Arya's scene, the waters have risen and even the town of Harroway has been submerged. So the river runs parallel to the scene, as Dany saw in her dream (Remember, a symbolic expression like the river's current was made by the author before the Red Wedding, I think he's doing the same thing).

Naturally, mats of sodden leaves choked the shoreline and appearing like a mats may be a situation that depicts these dying-drowning northern soldiers. Looks like Dany is dealing a heavy blow to the northerners so far. Or perhaps the opposite statement that these leaves “choke” the shoreline; it may be explaining that the northerners were crowded and perhaps they were superior to the enemy soldiers. I'm just trying to interpret it from every angle as possible, I'm not saying that this interpretation is final. There are dead deer or horses floating in the sea; Arya isn't sure which one it is. When I think of horse, Dothrak comes to mind, and when I say deer, naturally I think of Baratheon, the soldiers of the Stormlands. Maybe Dany and Aegon's forces have come together and an army of 10,000 has arrived, or rather will come, and will have Dothraki and Storm armies in it... You know that in book 6, Aegon took the Storm Castle, which is equivalent to same thing take all Stormlands.

These drowning animals inevitably give the impression that Dany's army will lose. Or at worst, both sides will suffer heavy losses. It is also true that, as I said before, Rhaegar had died here, and Dany saw herself as Rhaegar. Naturally, this dream of Dany and the possible foreshadowing narration in this scene of Arya; In fact, it may be Dany's last battle, we may have seen the moment she went to her death. Martin's assistants, I don't know why, think that Dany will be killed by Jon before the fight with the Others is over. On the other hand, I think that Dany will die with Jon and Arya act together. Continue the quote.

The oarsmen were rowing more vigorously now, fighting the rage of the river. Leaves and broken branches swirled past as fast as if they'd been fired from a scorpion.

There is a formal depiction of war here; anyway, the scene that tells about Arya and Sandor crossing to the north of the river is a battle scene in itself, you can see it very easily even when you read it yourself. The river is angry; leaves and broken branches seem to be “thrown by a scorpion”... The tree-green leaf depiction here and the rage of the river seem to symbolize the "northerns" because they were the ones who were drowned and died by the attack in the first place; This was the case in Dany's dream as well, and the river overflows with anger and attacks the enemy with all its might...

The word scorpion is also notable, this is the weapon you need to hunt a dragon. The leaves and tree branches symbolizing the northerners seem to have been thrown by the scorpion... So they are trying to kill the dragon. Remember that it was a scorpion that killed Meraxes.

But a sudden shout snapped her head about before she could leap. The ferrymen were rushing forward, poles in hand. For a moment she did not understand what was happening. Then she saw it: an uprooted tree, huge and dark, coming straight at them. A tangle of roots and limbs poked up out of the water as it came, like the reaching arms of a great kraken. The oarsmen were backing water frantically, trying to avoid a collision that could capsize them or stove their hull in. The old man had wrenched the rudder about, and the horse at the prow was swinging downstream, but too slowly. Glistening brown and black, the tree rushed toward them like a battering ram. It could not have been more than ten feet from their prow when two of the boatmen somehow caught it with their long poles. One snapped, and the long splintering craaaack made it sound as if the ferry were breaking up beneath them. But the second man managed to give the trunk a hard shove, just enough to deflect it away from them. The tree swept past the ferry with inches to spare, its branches scrabbling like claws against the horsehead. Only just when it seemed as if they were clear, one of the monster's upper limbs dealt them a glancing thump. The ferry seemed to shudder, and Arya slipped, landing painfully on one knee. The man with the broken pole was not so lucky. She heard him shout as he stumbled over the side. Then the raging brown water closed over him, and he was gone in the time it took Arya to climb back to her feet. One of the other boatmen snatched up a coil of rope, but there was no one to throw it to.

Yes, I think we just saw Euron Greyjoy's ship. Our sea monster called the Great kraken and the black-brown ship... although Euron's ship is dark red in hull but has black sails and a picture of a sea monster, he later started to use his own special crest. So it seems that Euron's naval power is also involved in the war. Remember; The Lord of White Harbor had also built at least 30-40 warships... Martin doesn't have those ships built as decorations. In summary; As I mentioned in Euron Ice or Fire, the King of the Iron Islands seems to have taken sides with Dany. The Valerions, who were already sea power in Dance 1, were on the side of the black queen, while the now powerful sea power is the Greyjoys, which belongs to Euron. They were already on the black side in the first Dance.

So in conclusion, with both Dany's dream and Arya's Green Fork "Ruby Ford" scene, the author told us about the Stark - Targaryen collision that will take place in the 7th book.

What are you thinking?

#Arya Stark #Daenerys Targaryen #asoiaf

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Savannah

Jac: [Before the parties would have started, aka the getting ready hours] Jac: What's the vibe in University Hall tonight then? Savannah: [a selfie of lowkey everyone getting ready together cos it's all girls] Jac: 👍 Looks like carnage Jac: don't lose your favourite 💄 Savannah: my ears hurt & I can't stop saying Americanisms Jac: 😂 Jac: Glad I'm not seeing you tonight Jac: almost Savannah: will you still love me tomorrow though? Jac: Even if you start saying like, totally and OH MY GOD at the beginning and end of all your sentences Savannah: I already do say OH MY GOD a lot Savannah: it's not very far to fall 😔 Jac: Fallen 👼🏾 Jac: as you missed out on Sinners Savannah: 😢 I'm sure Savannah: except not at all because I had a much better time with my 👼🏻 Jac: If the stories I've seen are anything to go by Jac: missed nothing but potential 💀💀 Jac: Sports people go so hard Savannah: I know Savannah: it's a definite no thank you from me, in like, every possible way Savannah: even if every 🤴🏻🤴🏼🤴🏽🤴🏾🤴🏿 here was there Jac: we're off 🏀⚽🏉🏑🥍🏏 boys for good Savannah: I swear to god, hit me with a 🏑or 🏏 if I consider it however briefly & however intoxicated Jac: make a pact with some OTT American girl tonight Jac: she'll banshee screech and keep 'em well away 'til I can Savannah: I'll just picture my dad's disapproving face Savannah: wait no, actually that would only spur me on Jac: Some of those girls HAVE to be cool Jac: not as cool as me, obviously Jac: but you should have fun with them 🚫 boys allowed Savannah: I don't know what to wear & it's upsetting me greatly Savannah: none of these girls understand that telling me I look amazing in anything/everything hanging up is NOT what I need to hear Savannah: obviously I do, that's why I purchased & packed it Jac: They aren't lying but they aren't being helpful Jac: send me the options Jac: you wanna get the mood right Savannah: can't we just get ready together? I PROMISE I'll shut my door on you as soon as we're done Jac: I don't know if my ❤ can handle that, babe Savannah: okay, I'll shut the door on you at the last possible second Jac: You know exactly how hard I find it saying no to you, don't you? Savannah: but if you want to say no, you can Savannah: I just know that you don't want to Jac: Give me a sec Jac: I'll convince it's the fashion emergency it is Savannah: 😊 Savannah: the real fashion emergency is that nobody is allowed to touch your hair but me Jac: The girl across from me does have full intentions to straighten it so Jac: wish me 🍀 Savannah: 😠 Savannah: she better step back Savannah: what protection is she intending to use? I think not Jac: You're the cutest ever Savannah: You have perfect natural texture, can she not see that? Jac: She must not see me how you do Jac: but I'm okay with that Savannah: Well, I've got my eye on her now Savannah: if Catholic school taught me anything it's that 🙏🏾 doesn't work so I won't be wishing you luck, I'll be taking hair styling action Jac: I thought you were going to say something about it teaching you how to fuck up other girls Jac: but you're much too ladylike and 👼🏾 for that Savannah: Oh honey, I knew how to do that before I got there Jac: Very true Jac: I remember Jac: we were kind of a bit terrible, weren't we? Savannah: I remember us being young & bored Savannah: so maybe we did some terrible things Savannah: but we're trying to do & be better now Jac: Works for me Jac: though I was considerably less bored when you were there Savannah: me too, of course Savannah: & maybe I was still doing terrible things at 18, which is less young, but I was also in Sligo so I feel like allowances have to be made Jac: Boredom increased as well as age Jac: it's allowed Savannah: heartbreak increased too Savannah: I can't be held responsible for what I do when I miss you that much Jac: It's too soon to make the 'and who' joke about your ex but it's something young and bored me would say so, feels right to honour past us by mentioning it Savannah: 😄 Savannah: he honourably gave me all summer to get over him, it's fine Jac: You were with him the whole two years, yeah? Savannah: yes Jac: thought so Jac: I could never stand anyone longer than a few weeks Savannah: I'm not sure I could honestly stand him longer than that Jac: Is it a security thing? Jac: keeping him around, despite that Savannah: If I was a lecture topic that would be one of the bullet points undeniably Jac: 'Course, sorry Jac: it's all the ❤ talk going on Jac: they'll be over it once this week is Savannah: I didn't mean it like that, I mean that like I wish I could pinpoint the exact reason Savannah: but there isn't just one, I guess Jac: It's cool, I also didn't mean to be a downer so we don't need to bulletpoint or pinpoint either Jac: lectures haven't started yet, just excited for that, obviously 🤓 Jac: you're not easy to commit to paper, to logic and rationale Jac: that's why I like you Savannah: you could never be, I'm so happy whenever I'm with you Savannah: & I'm even happier you're so excited because me too, of course Savannah: I know I'm very illogical & irrational, I'm the happiest that you like me in spite of it Jac: 🥰🥰🥰 Jac: Freshers has, obviously, been better than I had imagined it could be Jac: but that's almost entirely because of you Jac: I wanna get going now, with the actual course, what we're here to do Jac: though I want this time to last forever, so, conflicted but Savannah: I've changed my mind, I think I'm the happiest actually that none of these girls can see me 😳 because of you Savannah: I feel the same way though, about all of it Jac: I promise I won't embarrass you in front of your dormies Jac: even though I like it when you 😳 best of all Savannah: You could literally never do that either Savannah: none of them are anything like you to the point that I feel sad for them Savannah: because you're perfect Jac: You're the most incredible person I've ever met Jac: we're special together Savannah: you're special without me Savannah: but I'm not leaving you ever again Jac: I love you so much Savannah: I love you too Jac: [leaving it a long-ish time for them aka 10 minutes or something] Jac: I am free, and omw Savannah: Thank GOD Savannah: I thought you were going to say you weren't coming Jac: No way Jac: my room is on the top floor, so I kept getting stopped on every level 🙄 Savannah: At least I know that girl wouldn't have been able to straighten your hair in that amount of time Jac: unless she was just gonna do the top layer and then I'd look like a 🌲 Jac: but that did not happen, thank GOD Savannah: Don't even Savannah: I would cry Jac: Me too Jac: not that there's anyone I really wanna impress, also don't want or need the potential nicknames that would come from that non-look Savannah: Baby, I would never let anyone tease you, or you leave her with a non look Savannah: I could & would fix it in spite of my overwhelming sadness Jac: Dry those eyes Jac: only ten minutes away and not looking like a shrub Savannah: 🥰 Jac: This walk takes longer going to see you than it does coming back Savannah: I miss you too Jac: 😳 Savannah: that's also how I'll look when you see me like this Jac: Come on Jac: you're perfect Jac: we just need to find an outfit as equally so for tonight Savannah: It's not the outfit, it's my insane nerves Jac: What are you nervous about? Savannah: This isn't like our psych night, you know, what do I have in common with any of these girls? Potentially nothing Savannah: I'm having catholic school flashbacks Jac: I get you Jac: think of it as less about making friends, and more about making decent neighbours Jac: the people on our course, we'll be seeing the full four years, the people in our dorms, it could just be this year, 'cos we'll all move next Jac: don't put too much pressure on yourself Savannah: I don't wanna do it but I can't be the girl who doesn't get involved, that would actually be crazy Savannah: you're right, I know that you're right Jac: I don't either Jac: if it had to compete with a night with you, no chance Jac: we'll give it a solid hour, and if it's truly awful, then we'll just hole ourselves up in one of our rooms and hide Savannah: okay Jac: but it won't be Jac: everyone will love you Savannah: I don't want everyone to love me, just you Jac: then they can admire you respectfully from afar Savannah: 👸🏽 Jac: I hear the American girls are loaded Jac: I bet they have loads of 🔥 makeup and clothes to borrow Savannah: the skincare would make my auntie 😢 Jac: wonder if there's any princesses Savannah: I'll find out Savannah: maybe not tonight but eventually Jac: you won't run away with her Jac: even if the skincare is beyond 💣 Savannah: I'll run away with the skincare Savannah: to you Jac: ❤ Jac: loml Savannah: ☺️ Savannah: It would be SO typical if the loudest brashest girl in this dorm who I already can't stand was royalty of some kind Jac: I think I saw her on my way out yesterday Jac: you'll have to point her out Savannah: You definitely heard her, I swear she's woke me every morning so far Jac: Ugh Jac: need to think of a way to 😶 her Savannah: I will be stealing her skincare because I'm BEYOND sleep deprived Savannah: What did you do when you had to share with Jude? Jac: military grade headphones Jac: but ignoring her makes her 😠 so it was one of the only joys I had too, like Savannah: Then I won't be able to hear all the secrets you spill in your sleep, she's not taking that possible joy from me Jac: 😨 Jac: ?! Savannah: I remember one of the first times I slept over, we had a full conversation because I asked if you were awake and you answered yes & asked me if I was okay, which was so sweet by the way, & I didn't realise that you were actually still asleep until after I'd told you everything Savannah: that's the only reason I'm hoping for secrets 😄 Savannah: you don't ever tell me anything scandalous, you're just an 👼🏻 who always tries to take care of me Jac: I'm glad my subconscious hasn't totally betrayed me Jac: and that it cares as much about you as conscious me does Savannah: your subconscious loves me too, it's the cutest Jac: ☺ Jac: you're very lovable Savannah: The girl we hate has literally just asked me if I'm talking to my boyfriend 🙄 the love of my life, yes, some ridiculous boy from freshers, not even Jac: 100% she thinks she's found a 🤴 and he's a total 🐸 who'll spend the rest of the year ghosting her Savannah: 😄 SO true Jac: Some of the lads on our course are nice and everything Jac: but they all seem like 👶 somehow Savannah: I could not agree more & I've done my time babysitting Jac: Seriously Jac: we've got enough to focus on without mothering some poor homesick boys, no thanks Savannah: Of course she's doing art history, it's clear she intends to focus on cliches Jac: Oh my God Jac: I bet she dresses like a mini Middleton Jac: bless her ❤ Savannah: I won't be borrowing her 💄👚👠👒 Jac: 🤭 Definitely not Jac: Meghan is prettier and much more stylish Savannah: I love her Savannah: no offence but I would have to run away with her if she were here Jac: 😏 I understand Jac: I'll control my 💔 Savannah: not that I could bear to break up her & Harry & their beautiful family unit, however hypothetically Jac: they're adorable Jac: and you don't need to steal anyone else's 🤴 or 👸 Savannah: I really don't Jac: no one wants to be that evil queen stereotype Savannah: that's a reputation that would follow you Jac: came here to escape all of mine, not acquire new ones Jac: new 👎 ones Jac: 👍 ones are welcomed, obviously Savannah: I'll resist the urge to make the obvious unfavourable comparison between an evil queen & my dad's new girlfriend in order to do the same Jac: Does she come as a package deal with ugly stepsisters or are they not that serious yet? Savannah: I don't think he's willing to be that serious Jac: at least you don't have to be either then Savannah: I'm not there, he can't control anything I do anymore Savannah: but he needs to be fair to Sienna Jac: What does she think about it all? Savannah: She says she's happy he's moving on too, because I was leaving & mum's getting better Savannah: like we're in a fairy tale Jac: That's obviously just what she wishes and hopes is true Jac: even if it's not totally, yet Jac: but it's not, not true, right? Jac: Your mum is doing better than she was, yeah Savannah: but we both know better than rock bottom isn't recovered Savannah: I don't want her getting her hopes up too high Jac: Absolutely Jac: that's tough, all you can do is talk to her and tell her that Jac: even if she's not listening, she will be, you know, it'll sink in regardless Savannah: She's BEYOND sick of the sound of my voice, I'm not giving up though Jac: you're such a good sister ❤ Savannah: because I only have one, god knows how you cope Jac: Poorly, I'm sure Savannah: no way! Savannah: you're an incredible sister & best friend Jac: I'm not but Jac: it's complicated Jac: and not important right now Jac: [show up for this outfit emergency sure] Savannah: [we all know how happy she is to see her and how extra she'd be about it as standard so] Jac: [enjoy your moment you're not meant to be having ladies] Savannah: [casually ignoring all the peeps that are everywhere because you've got your bae now] Jac: [we know the vibes, we out here being gay] Savannah: [and drinking 🥂🍾 cos we extra] Jac: [we loving life 'cos we're together we're these bitches but you will be separating ladies] Savannah: [get all your touchy feely flirting in now gal cos yeah she has to leave] Jac: [at least you have the thinly-veiled excuse of needing to dress her] Savannah: [take all the thinly veiled excuses while you can cos we can't avoid the convo forever ladies] Jac: [or can you lmao] Savannah: [lives together for the next decade, gets married and has babies, still hasn't had the convo lol] Jac: [truly, okay, so you gotta go girl, we know what this would've been like, cue dramatic pining] Savannah: [sends her a selfie like 🥺 as soon as she's left basically with the flimsy excuse of the girl they hate being there in the background] Jac: ugh, isn't there some art for her to go appreciate Jac: besides you Savannah: she can appreciate my 😳 if you keep complimenting me like that Jac: you look amazing Jac: everyone is gonna be DYING to talk to you Savannah: thanks to you I do Jac: like you said, you look good in all your clothes, obvs, it was just picking the one for tonight Savannah: but whatever the outfit choice, I'd still be a nervous wreck if you hadn't come over to make me feel better Savannah: you make me feel amazing, that's why I now look it Jac: You return the favour tenfold, trust me Jac: whatever dress I throw on is not even half of it Savannah: 🥰 but I do still want to see what dress you have thrown on Jac: Of course Jac: 🤞 my room hasn't been turned into designated pre-party area or something Savannah: I can remember perfectly well how intimidating you can be if you need to, but I'll try not to as my 😳 didn't subside that long ago & it's honestly so hot all the things that you're capable of Jac: I'm not okay with you being intimidated by me Jac: you're as capable and hot, that's why we're here together Savannah: You don't have to worry because I'm not, I know how kind & sensitive you are too, especially when we are together Savannah: it's one rule for me & another for all the stupid boys we're surrounded by, in my case literally right now, seemingly out of nowhere Jac: Eurgh Jac: at least they're not constantly around your dorm Jac: though most of them have been okay, they are some really annoying ones in JB Savannah: 🙌🏾 🙏🏾 I'm not actually going to announce to my dad that he made one good decision, but between you & me 🙌🏾 🙏🏾 Savannah: consider this your sanctuary whenever you need it, baby girl Jac: He made it for the wrong reasons so he doesn't deserve the round of applause but Jac: ❤ Jac: next year we can get somewhere amazing, and only have over the people we want Savannah: at this point that's literally just Maddie 😄 Jac: Devin is nice, even though she's American Savannah: I don't hold it against Meghan so I'll extend her the same courtesy, I guess Jac: I'd say Nat but I don't know if you'd want her in your house, you know 😏 Savannah: like I wouldn't want her their specifically or she's not house trained in general? Jac: [sends her the butch girl's sinners night socials like see for yourself] Savannah: oh Jac: 😂 Savannah: okay, well I did ask Jac: Yeah Jac: she like, likes me Savannah: of course she does, you're perfect Savannah: she'd have bad taste if she didn't Jac: you knew? Savannah: her aesthetic isn't exactly subtle Jac: That's true Jac: she's alright though, if you get past that Jac: aside from the hitting on you every five seconds thing Savannah: She didn't try & hit on me 😢 Savannah: I knew the ✨ were too much! Jac: Maybe your aesthetic is the opposite of subtle too? Jac: you'd be far more 😢 if Maddie hadn't Savannah: Maddie didn't, she was all over that boy whose name I didn't catch Jac: Awh, baby Savannah: 🥺 Jac: I'll flirt with you, if you're feeling leftout Savannah: you don't like her more than me, do you? Jac: in what world is that even possible Savannah: it's freshers, we're about as far removed from the real world as it's possible to be Jac: I don't like her Jac: you're my best friend ever Savannah: it's okay if you do, but you can't like her more than me Jac: Never Savannah: experimentation is what university is for, everyone knows that, so it's fine Jac: Yeah, it's fine is it? Savannah: of course Savannah: you can like whoever you want Jac: She's not my type so Savannah: Devin then Jac: You're cool with that Jac: like, that's what you want? Savannah: for you to be happy is all I've ever wanted Savannah: why wouldn't I be cool with whoever you date, unless they're horrifically unsuitable,  criteria which we can't impose on her simply for being American Jac: Okay Jac: 'course Jac: I'm back, I'll let you party in peace Savannah: you have to show me your outfit first Jac: I'm just gonna chill in what I had on, who cares right Jac: we aren't going anywhere Savannah: I obviously care but sure, you do look beautiful as you are Jac: You know what I mean Jac: no entry requirements Savannah: except 🍾🥂 Jac: so much Jac: the headaches aren't fun Savannah: but everything up to that point always is Savannah: it's going to be so strange not having you here later Jac: I know Jac: we should probably get used to it Savannah: No Savannah: I've just gotten used to having you back Jac: I'm not going anywhere Jac: but you need the legroom, you said Savannah: that's not how you made it sound a literal second ago & you can't leave me, I need you Jac: We'll only share a bed 'til you get a boyfriend Savannah: I'm not getting a boyfriend Savannah: I distinctly recall telling you, I like being single Jac: For now Savannah: Yes, because we're talking about right now Jac: We don't need to talk about this at all Savannah: not if you don't want to Jac: we should be having fun Savannah: stop it Jac: Stop what? Savannah: you've been trying to end this conversation since you got back Jac: Only for you Savannah: that's not true Jac: not just for that Jac: but we should be, you think so too Jac: experimenting, whatever else uni is good for Savannah: I think you should do whatever will make you the happiest Jac: I know, I know Savannah: so okay, if the fun you believe we're meant to be having tonight doesn't include me, I'll talk to you when you've had it, I guess Savannah: I don't want to hold you back or anything Jac: That's not what I mean Savannah: Well, what do you mean? Jac: I don't know Jac: and I don't know what would make me happiest Jac: can that be okay too Savannah: you don't have to have answers for everything all the time, especially not just in order to give to me when I'm being demanding about it Jac: It's fine Savannah: it doesn't have to be, you're allowed to be annoyed at me, even in our honeymoon period Jac: I'm not annoyed at you Savannah: you know what I mean, all your emotions are valid Jac: So are yours Jac: you've been clear what yours are, I haven't Jac: I'm angry at myself, not you Savannah: I don't want that Jac: It's not your fault Savannah: it feels like it is Jac: It really isn't Jac: I'm sorry Savannah: how can I make you feel better? Jac: I'll be fine Savannah: don't say that, let me fix it Jac: You can't change how you feel, and I don't expect you to Savannah: I love you, nothing is ever going to change that Savannah: that's how I feel, you know that Jac: I do know what I want Jac: and I'm not experimenting Jac: alright Jac: that changes everything Savannah: I meant with different people, that's all Savannah: you've said yourself that after a few weeks you lose interest Jac: I've not lost interest in you in two years Savannah: you haven't seen me in two years Jac: Like seeing you is going to make it go away? Savannah: if I can't live up to your romanticised view of me, then yes Jac: I know who you are Savannah: I don't think I really know who I am though Savannah: not after everything Jac: I think that's normal Jac: and I like whoever you are Savannah: if you can throw a 'for now' at me, I can too Jac: That would be convenient Jac: but it never happened before, so I don't see that it will Savannah: this has never happened to me before & yet you still believe I'll choose some boy over you Jac: I've not either Jac: I'm just saying how it was before Savannah: well that isn't a fair comparison Jac: Isn't it? Savannah: No Savannah: I didn't want you to kiss me before but it's all I want now Jac: that's what I want too Savannah: did you get the same message I did about the second year psych house party? Savannah: we could go Jac: Should we? Savannah: we want to join the pysch society, right? At least some of those 2nd years will be part of it Savannah: it's more productive than awkward small talk with these girls in my dorm Savannah: & most importantly, I'll get to see you again, so yes Savannah: I think we should Jac: You're right Jac: we can make these connections any time, this is a too good an opportunity to expand our horizons Savannah: exactly Savannah: though by the time I've walked over to you in these heels you'll have had time to make a million connections within that dorm too Savannah: 😄 Jac: You need to invest in a pair of flats for your bag, seriously Savannah: I've done my time wearing flats & I got rid of that urge, coincidentally, once my insecure boyfriend dumped me Savannah: I need to drink less 🍾🥂 potentially Jac: Okay 😏 but be careful Savannah: You're adorable Jac: I'd rather you didn't fall into the sea, or a golf hole, that's all Savannah: I promise to look where I'm going since you aren't here to look at Jac: Not much to look at currently Jac: I better get changed after-all Savannah: that's not even close to true Savannah: you're beautiful & interesting irrespective of what you're wearing Jac: Now you're being shameless Savannah: I would NEVER Jac: 😂 Savannah: if you make me laugh there's every increased chance I will fall into a ⛳️ Jac: 🤐 Jac: You're shameless in a good way Savannah: Then you won't mind me asking a shameless question, do you think she's going to be there? Jac: Who? Savannah: Natalie, of course Jac: Oh, I dunno Jac: if she knows some older psych kids already, could see it, but otherwise, doubt it Savannah: Hmm Jac: What's hmm? Savannah: I'm just thinking maybe I need to run into her if she's going to be flirting with you whenever you do Jac: So she can flirt with you too Savannah: So she'll stop doing it, I'm not that shameless, thank you Jac: How are you gonna get her to do that? Savannah: I'm sure she will respect that I saw you first Jac: You're so Savannah: it's like beyond terrifying when you don't finish a sentence Jac: it's only 'cos I'm gonna say something so nice it'll scare us both Savannah: I could never be scared of a compliment Jac: Just me, then, make it worse 😋 Savannah: Baby, you don't need to be scared either Jac: But I want you so bad it is Savannah: you aren't going to lose me so it doesn't have to be Jac: I'll try Jac: to believe that, to not be scared Savannah: I'll be here to help you, because nobody can separate us this time except us & that's not something I'm ever going to let happen Jac: Good, as long as that keeps being what we both want, then there's nothing we can't solve Savannah: I believe that Savannah: [probably show up so you can be extra in person gal starting with your 😍 over whatever she's wearing now] Jac: [when you're definitely going in for the kiss right away no pretense] Savannah: [we all know she's about it] Jac: [thank god lmao] Savannah: [don't need a repeat of that runaways moment] Jac: [truly, casually try to calm down with 🍾🥂 now 'cos nearly died] Savannah: [when you're lowkey so into each other that you forget you've got somewhere else to be going] Jac: [already bailed on one idea here ladies] Savannah: [makes me lol like how long did you last at your dorm parties, no time at all] Jac: [literal, and you were just on your phones nearly having an argument so] Savannah: [not that I blame you cos everyone I shared with were dicks and you are only there for the first year which will fly by but the point ladies] Jac: [my poor boo, but we know you ain't making bffs so it matters not] Savannah: [god bless you two because it will be a miracle if you make it to this party with how highkey you are rn] Jac: [how you've only kissed is amiracle] Savannah: [I have the hilarious mental image of them both fixing their makeup and hair like okay we can go & then making out again so they have to redo it and so on for infinity lol] Jac: [rinse and repeat, too real] Savannah: [like what are you putting on and taking off too, very we ain't even gonna make it to this club, Beyonce approves] Jac: [bop and a lifestyle] Savannah: [Savannah already has the biggest lips ever they would be obscene after kissing forever, what a visual] Jac: [someone said she should be cast as Sally from tnbc and I can't unsee lol] Jac: [corpse bride fool] Savannah: [should we let them hook up tonight or wait until tomorrow/ the end of freshers?] Jac: [I say tonight purely so they can be ultra gay at the festival moment tomorrow lol] Savannah: [I agree that's a great idea] Jac: [and we almost had a real convo so it's been amped up here] Savannah: [I know I'm evil but I think their first time should be like a bit awkward because we always let everyone have a swag one and like you can get there ladies but it fits with who Savannah is/ how easily she'd freak out if everything wasn't perfect after all this build up and it works once again for them because their communication and trust levels that neither of them would be like okay well that's NEVER happening again ever] Jac: [that makes sense to me too] Savannah: [like if Sav was freaking out/crying cos she's like this is not going according to plan Jac isn't gonna let her leave, as she said they can work anything out and would once she's calmed down because gal you're clearly into each other, you can do this, just chill] Jac: [we know you can calm her down and as long as it's not like 'I don't wanna do this anymore' she's not gonna freak too so] Savannah: [and we all know when it's swag it'll be swag because she's 100% that straight girl that was like oh yeah it takes me a really long time to have an orgasm which I know is a real thing like Rosie always saying she takes like 45 minutes but in her case it's definitely her boyfriends not doing the most because that was such a thing when I was in that straight girl tumblr tag lol] Jac: [it just makes sense, like we wouldn't know what to do with a penis 'cos we don't have one, you need to learn whereas if you know yourself if you know what I'm saying, gay sex is easier to be good at] Savannah: [she just always puts too much pressure on herself to be A+ at everything immediately so it made sense to me that she would have a me style freak out because she hasn't done loads of nerdy prep for this whereas Jac can just swag it because she's not doing that she's just in her emotions] Jac: [god bless, we just freaking out that she's gonna flip 180 at any minute but not gonna let that stop her obvs] Savannah: [it's fair because we'd all be thinking it] Jac: [hence tryna say it but being crap at doing so] Savannah: [go to the party first though ladies because if this hook up drama happened first you'd never make it] Jac: [yes, go get adopted by some psychology students] Savannah: [love that for you both tbh] Jac: [you'd be thrilled, nerds] Savannah: [even though you're both really distracted by how much you wanna hook up, focus nerds] Jac: [whatever gets you going i guess] Savannah: [is there anything we really want to happen at this party or should we just keep it chill, by which I mean sexual tension off the charts but a good time had by all] Jac: [Hmm, Natalie should not be there 'cos too cool for school but even if she was, bye, do you have any ideas?] Savannah: [I agree they should be the only psychology freshers there because nerds and defs getting adopted] Jac: [agreed, be those hoes we know you are] Savannah: [you've been extra in terms of nearly having a row so of course you gotta be extra the other way and just keep all those makeouts going, JJ would be proud] Jac: [people would be about it like the bitch on the beach 'cos straights are always like OMG YOU'RE SO SWEET AHH so you can lap that up shamelessly like oh yes we are haha] Savannah: [progress is being made tonight honey cos we did that little display for the butch on psych night but you've not actually kissed anywhere but your dorms] Jac: [proud of you gals] Savannah: [considering the awkwardness of a 2 year absence that we started this uni experience with, you're doing amazing gals] Jac: [truly, such a weird situation who knows what any of us would do] Savannah: [if it was me I'd have to just pretend the other person didn't exist for the rest of my life and suffer] Jac: [not I, I would get you] Savannah: [I really hope there's no gross posh boys at this party cos you don't need that any of y'all sweet nerds] Jac: [undoubtedly there is but pretend to be progressive and just silently oggle ty] Savannah: [tah very much lads] Jac: [gotta pretend to be cool even though they are paying you NO attention] Savannah: [nor will they, we're leaving the straightness behind forever] Jac: [that tickled me] Jac: [maybe there was a student teacher there or a real one but not in a creepy way, bit weird but uni is, so maybe they cornered 'em and now have separate meetings with 'em to like, get ahead, idk, nerd shit, so one of them has gone first and then it's like morning, afternoon, time to start getting ready so they've gone back to own dorms] Savannah: [yeah there's loads of potential for what that could be because we know they'd wanna be involved in everything] Jac: [literal like maybe there was two important peeps and they're tackling one each, it don't matter, you will have to part some times and that's all we need] Savannah: [yeah we know what the vibe we're trying to get at here] Savannah: I can't find my [insert obscure makeup routine item/accessory that she simply must have to get ready like okay]! Savannah: today is a trial already honestly Jac: Has Mega not Markle been snooping through your stuff? Jac: I think I saw it in your brown satchel last though, really Jac: What's up, boo? Savannah: I hope not & I instead hope that you're right as you usually are Savannah: maybe I have champagne brain or something Jac: I've not heard of it being a Thing™ but I still lock my door even when I'm just going to the kitchen 🤷 Jac: we did drink a LOT more at the party Jac: productive though, like we hoped Savannah: as long as I didn't make a TOTAL fool of myself, I'm counting it as a definite success Jac: Not even Jac: you were perfect Jac: we weren't that level of drunk or we would have KNOWN not to approach the editor of the magazine Savannah: I don't know how you always manage to put me instantly at ease, except of course that you're actually the level of perfect that you're trying to portray me as right now Jac: You deserve to be Jac: no one else works as hard as you Jac: you need to take the time and headspace to enjoy the spoils of Savannah: literally god knows when but I'll try Jac: tonight will be a good place to start Jac: the expectation is nothing but to dance and have fun Jac: in something as colourful and ✨ as possible Savannah: 😊 Savannah: I do understand why the majority of freshers are claiming it to be the highlight before its even happened Jac: it'll be mine to see how beautiful you'll be Savannah: you're this smooth, this early, after that much 🍾🥂? Okay then, wow Savannah: the pressure is back on Jac: Not even Jac: you make me feel the cheesiest Savannah: you're not though, trust me, because my ex was & you're so far from Savannah: his everything basically Jac: I'll take it as the compliment it undoubtedly is Jac: have you found your [thing]? Jac: I can go into town and check if they have some, though the chances are slim Savannah: you have to because I can only be so complimentary & remain productive when I already miss you this much Savannah: yes! You were so right about where it was, of course Jac: I miss you more Savannah: that's impossible & I refuse to acknowledge it Jac: you'll have to when I show you later Savannah: oh Savannah: well now I'm unfocused Jac: Are we mad about that or no? Savannah: frustration does come into it, anger doesn't Jac: You're so cute Jac: tell me how I can help Savannah: you are helping Jac: more Jac: I wanna help more Savannah: No, because I can't demand that you come here any time I want you to Savannah: even if I really want you to Jac: it'd be hot if you did Jac: demand away Jac: though I really do need to go into town, stock up on some essentials Savannah: I'm trying to be 👼🏾 Savannah: but you & the lord are testing me Jac: You're very good Jac: that's the problem Jac: I never want to leave you, or do anything but be with you, properly Savannah: 🥺🥺🥺 Savannah: you're going to make me cry or run towards you or something else as dramatic Jac: I can handle dramatic Jac: prefer the term passionate though, suits you better Savannah: you think you can Jac: prove me wrong Jac: try to, anyway Savannah: stop trying to tempt me, you'll never get to town if I do Jac: Okay, okay 👼🏻 Jac: just making sure you're the most excited you can be to see me later Savannah: you're making sure I need to see you now Jac: Maybe Savannah: it's not a maybe for me Jac: Promise? Savannah: yes Jac: 🥰 Jac: I don't know what to say but that Savannah: you don't have to say anything, just come & see me before you go Jac: alright Jac: hold on Savannah: 😊 Jac: I know you look much cuter than that emoji rn Savannah: [a selfie because of course she looks effortlessly 💣] Jac: oh Savannah: Now you know exactly how I look Jac: now I need to 🏃 Savannah: I wouldn't be mad about it Savannah: I am waiting for you, after all Jac: You reckon you've been patient enough, yeah? Savannah: don't you think so? Jac: You've not wanted to kiss me for as long as I've wanted to kiss you Savannah: I know Jac: so, you can wait a little bit and I won't feel too bad Jac: even if you 🥺 Savannah: I don't want you to feel bad, you know that's the opposite of how I want to make you feel Savannah: for a really long time Savannah: but if you want to make me wait instead, you can Savannah: I won't 🥺 Jac: Savannah Savannah: ? Jac: Do you know how good it feels to hear you say all that Savannah: I may not have waited as long as you but I still feel good right now knowing that this is something that's finally happening Jac: I want you to feel good Jac: and happy and safe and Jac: only good things Savannah: that's all I want for both of us Jac: you make me happy Savannah: I hope so because you did & do make me the happiest I've ever been Jac: then it's settled Savannah: that you're running here? Okay Jac: That, Jac: and the fact we're going to keep doing everything we can to make each other happy Savannah: 😄 Of course Savannah: I knew that's what you actually meant but it'll make me really happy to have you here Jac: I'm looking forward to feeling that Savannah: you won't have to leave too soon, will you? Jac: Nah Jac: we've got time Jac: you're my priority right now Savannah: that's a relief because you're everything to me Savannah: & if I have to make time by following you into town & every shop, then I will Savannah: but you might want more privacy than that Jac: there's no maybe that I want to be alone with you right now Savannah: that's another relief, I don't think I'm ready to be that shameless Savannah: it's a very small town Jac: 😂 Jac: you never have to be that shameless Jac: I only wanna do what makes you happy Savannah: please remind me of that when lectures start & you're the only thing I can think about because I feel like the urge to be shameless won't be as easy to ignore then Jac: I'll help you study if you help me Jac: you were always distractingly beautiful, we were still the perfect team Savannah: so were you, I know you think I wasn't looking, that I didn't want to, but that just isn't true Jac: I know there were Jac: moments Jac: it was just not knowing if they were the same moments for you as they were for me Savannah: as soon I met you I felt like I didn't know anything any more, not to be the level of sure that I thought I needed everything to stay at for my life to make sense Savannah: I was a mess, there's a high probability that I still am Jac: I didn't mean to do that to you Jac: I know you aren't asking for an apology for it or anything Jac: it was the same for me in that I'd not felt that before either Savannah: you didn't do anything, it was my own feelings that turned my world upside down & my own fault that instead of trying to actually deal with it, I decided to fill my world with loads of other things, as if that would force it into being the right way up again Savannah: of course it didn't Jac: I'm not about to blame mine on you either Jac: though you are the only person, girl or boy, that I've been this attracted to, I only mean that as a positive Jac: it was a mess of a time, and there's lots of it I do regret and have learned from, and continue to learn from, hopefully, but I don't regret it all, and don't think we should Savannah: I could never take you saying or feeling that for me as a negative Savannah: & yes, I agree, though I don't think I've done nearly as much learning or growing in these two years as I should've Savannah: which is why I don't want to be a distraction for you, despite the fact that this situation couldn't be more different than anything that happened in Sligo Jac: Me either, I didn't turn into or saint myself in your absence Jac: in certain ways, I got worse, honestly Jac: ways I still haven't dealt with Jac: but you could never be a distraction in the way those things and people were for you Jac: you make me better Jac: I know there were instances where we made each other worse Jac: but is it giving us too much credit to say that was more, the upsidedownness of how our feelings made our lives feel, rather than us being together? Savannah: I guess that the only way we can truly take that credit by earning it now, in being together & doing better Savannah: because our lives are still going to be upside down here, sometimes & maybe even often to start with Jac: I can acknowledge that my life isn't upside down because of this, us, you Jac: not dealing with it, facing it, that was a big part Jac: not all of it, our lives are big and complex and messy, regardless Jac: but denying who I am, what I want, well, it didn't even feel like my life Savannah: if only the guilt I feel began & ended with you, I know I can do things to heal that Savannah: this relationship is the most well functioning one I have, including the relationship I have with myself Jac: I really know what you mean Jac: I've barely communicated with my family since Jac: and even before that, I was never great at it Savannah: I literally have no room to judge, you know the state that my family has been and is currently in Jac: and there are relationships, guilt, I personally feel I'll never be able to erase Jac: it's fitting punishment but still Jac: the only comfort is that Isabelle is doing fine despite it all, despite what I feel I had a massive hand in, even if I didn't do it myself, or know it would be done Savannah: ^^ Savannah: & there's a degree of comfort in all our siblings clearly coping better than us Savannah: not that it would be very difficult to raise the bar there Jac: Seriously Jac: I mean, I try to take comfort in it Jac: not just feel jealous and bitter, not a good look, I know Savannah: me too, even though it also makes my heart sink how my sister viewed me & how far from the truth it was Jac: You didn't just put up the front for yourself, you were protecting her from knowing how you really felt, when there was already so much for her to cope with, even if she did well Jac: which is far better than what I did, not that it's a competition or I'm trying to tell you you did perfectly Savannah: but now that's a dialogue I can never open back up because I was lying Savannah: she can never know that when it's exactly what both our parents did Jac: Never say never Jac: beyond that aphorism, I doubt you know everything about her thoughts and feelings, it's normal to have that barrier at the time Jac: things are easier to discuss after the fact, when you've both got a degree more clarity, removed from the !!! of things when they're happening Jac: as much of a hypocrite as that makes me to say, because I've started no such conversations myself Jac: but Sienna adores you as much as you her, and not because she thinks you're perfect, but because you're her big sister Savannah: we definitely both know that better than most, there's reasons why I deleted every conversation I began with you then & I'm not censoring myself now Savannah: don't worry, I'm not going to insist you have a heart to heart with Jude or any of the others Jac: ^^ Jac: The amount of times I went to say, everything I could possibly say, pour my heart out to you, that that felt like exactly the right thing to do Jac: then had to go distract myself with whatever wrong thing Jac: I have talked to Jesse, a bit Jac: more recently, too Savannah: I'm sorry that the timing was all wrong for me to be able to listen to or express any of it, but I'm ready now, I promise Savannah: for everything you could possibly say Savannah: including that you've told your brother about me Jac: No, it wouldn't have been right to do it that way Jac: like it wasn't right to just, kiss you Jac: it felt it but we weren't ready for any of it, it might seem like I was, just because I knew how I felt about you, but so much else was confused and yeah, it wasn't, I wasn't Jac: you aren't mad? Jac: obviously they've all seen you're here too now Jac: but I've not gone into any kind of meaningful detail with the rest of them Savannah: It's okay, I'm glad you've had someone to talk to Savannah: I know this week has been confusing too, that I must have made it confusing for you Jac: In a good way Jac: obviously, I'm so glad to have you back in my life Jac: I didn't think we'd ever get closure either Jac: and I had more trouble making peace with that than just about anything else Savannah: thank god I didn't go on that gap year Jac: You were thinking about it? Savannah: originally we were going together, Milo & I, so it would've been more of an undertaking to go alone, but I thought you wouldn't want to see me, so Jac: That makes sense Savannah: Putting us in different years was as much distance as I could give you without like uprooting my entire future, it seemed like a good idea Savannah: obviously it therefore stands to reason that my dad said no Jac: Was going to say, surprised your dad agreed to that plan at any point Savannah: he was somewhat distracted by his new girlfriend Jac: Of course Jac: #1 priority 'til you're not Jac: what's Sienna's plan for next year? Savannah: she's struggling to decide which uni she should go to Savannah: maybe she'll take a gap year, that'd be so typical Jac: Yep, Jude and Jameson get away with murder in comparison Savannah: It would unfair even if he was any kind of decent father, but how he believes he can lecture me as things currently are, I have no idea Jac: A lot of people are, not happy to live the mess their life is in, but are happy to be willfully blind to it Jac: it's easier than making changes, especially when you're a part of the problem Savannah: he's called me every day that I've been here, like, we're not bringing this into my new life, thank you Jac: That's too much Jac: designated a day(s) and time and don't answer any other time, he'll have to learn to respect it Savannah: he has literally NO boundaries for someone who shut the door on us & walked away until he was forced to come back in Jac: it's a control thing Jac: but where was his authority when it would have actually benefitted you, re. everything with your mum, why wasn't he laying down the law then? Jac: only when it benefits him and makes him feel better about himself Savannah: exactly, I'm beyond tired of it Savannah: he made those 2 years so much worse than they already would've been Savannah: I'm obviously not going to insist that all the blame for Milo lands squarely on his shoulders but if I had a home that I felt comfortable spending time in, I wouldn't have needed to be at his as often as I was Savannah: which really didn't help me process anything that I should've been Jac: It definitely was a factor Jac: I know how that feels too Jac: not wanting to be home Jac: but not wanting to be out of the house either because that was just as bad in different ways Jac: I see the appeal of having somewhere to be Savannah: I knew you'd understand Savannah: I'm so happy to have you to talk to again Jac: Obviously I don't love that for you, that you had to do that Jac: but I, again, know the feeling Savannah: It's what I've always done, with Ty & you too Savannah: I missed your house the most though, it was my favourite place to land Savannah: even if none of your siblings liked having me there 😄 Jac: Said as if Jude's friends aren't the most annoying people in the world Savannah: there's so many of them Jac: Yeah, she'd invite any old stray home Savannah: that sounds like a caffeine headache to me Savannah: I don't know how she does it Jac: She doesn't do a whole lot of anything else, that's why Savannah: who's she dating? Jac: your guess is as good as mine Savannah: okay, that sounds like an entirely different headache Savannah: at least some things have stayed the same Jac: I wouldn't know, really Jac: it's not like that, me and my siblings Jac: well, it hasn't been Savannah: I'm sorry for how much of that is my fault Savannah: because I hurt you Jac: I'm not going to put all the blame onto your shoulders, either Jac: it isn't Savannah: but I know you & I knew what would happen Savannah: I didn't stop you from shutting down because I wanted everything to stop Savannah: when you kissed me it felt like the world should've, but it didn't Jac: I know Jac: it would've been so much more of a thing for you to go with it, to change what you were, or who you were seen as, at least Savannah: I was so in love with Ty & I wanted it to work so badly but I couldn't do it Savannah: I'd never failed before at something I'd been that determined about Savannah: It sounds so stupid to say at this point Jac: It's not Jac: but you know, I mean, at the risk of making it sound like I thought you were stupid, when it was probably so obvious and you did know Jac: I was trying to get him out the picture Jac: you didn't fail Savannah: if our relationship was strong enough you wouldn't have been able to Savannah: as I said, everything changed when I met you anyway Savannah: he wasn't stupid either Jac: Yeah Jac: as pointless as it is to say how we should've handled it Jac: I want you to know I hold myself accountable for what I clearly shouldn't have done, and you can too Savannah: we all did things that we shouldn't have done Jac: True Savannah: I forgive you and you can forgive yourself too Jac: It's hard, isn't it Jac: not to feel like I was the worst when my intentions are the only ones I can truly know Savannah: yes & I feel it too, all the time Savannah: but I've seen you at what you believe to be your worst & I still love you Jac: I love you too Jac: and forgive you, of course Jac: and anyone else who's forgiveness you need, or you want to be better with, we can work on it together, okay Savannah: okay Savannah: everything happens for a reason, right? I don't want to consider changing it if it means I won't end up here Savannah: painful as things have been & still are Jac: I think so Jac: if I didn't believe in fate before, this would've eradicated any doubt Savannah: tempting as it would be to say that I wish I'd just kissed you back in that hotel room, we might not be here together if I did Savannah: two years is kind of my limit apparently, so far at least 😄 Jac: No pressure, or anything Jac: we have to do at least the four at the same uni so Savannah: okay, you can dump me after that if you insist Jac: It's your turn Jac: and I never would so Savannah: well, I'm never going to leave you Savannah: not again, because technically I already did, which makes it your turn Jac: Okay, looks like we're staying with each other Savannah: if you EVER get here Savannah: I thought you were supposed to be running Jac: You'll have to stop talking, my love 😏 Savannah: you'll have to stop me