#which made him feel inadequate because was the love he was giving not enough

[bloodlust-1]

Would you be okay with writing something with a Tav who is a virgin that is kind of scared of sex but still desires Astarion?

Totally! I imagine Astarion to be completely shocked, but relieved. Why? Tav would never have to experience the sexual abuse he had. Some lovey-dovey Astarion, anyone?

Hope this is good enough anon! <3

˚ ° A purity like yours ° ˚ part 1

Astarion x fem Tav — fluff, Explicit 18+

Summary: Tav has a secret that’s been heavy on her heart. Her virginity was a topic she ran away from, but it’s time for Astarion to know the truth.

Notes: I LOVE making companions in love, it makes me whelm all up inside🥹 Not exactly smut, but talks of explicit topics. Part 2

Tav sat quietly, her eyes focused on the floor as Astarion licked the last of her blood from his lips. Tav was unusually silent and he wasn't sure what was bothering her so much of lately.

He paused and narrowed his eyes, "You're rather quiet this feeding, my sweet. Is something wrong?"

Tav lifted her head slightly and looked up at Astarion. "I'm just...thinking," she said softly.

To Astarion, Tav was always thinking of lately. Especially when he's done feeding from her. He was confused if maybe he had done anything wrong? Was she having any doubts about their relationship?

Astarion brushed Tav's hair away from her eyes and smiled. "About what?"

Tav looked away again, her brows furrowed in concentration. "Just...us, and our intimacy." She shook her head, pushing away the thoughts. "It doesn't matter. I'm alright."

Astarion cupped Tav's face in his hands and looked into her eyes. "It does matter. Tell me, what's wrong?"

Tav sighed. "I feel so...embarrassed." She mustered any courage to finally look at him, her eyes glistening. "I feel like there should be something more to this. W-When you feed from me, I mean."

Astarion tilted his head confused, "You're embarrassed because you want to do something more?"

Admittingly he was blank. But when Tav opened her mouth his eyes widened in - anticipation. Even his ears pointed up with shock.

Tav didn't know which stung more, the fresh punctures on her neck or her confession.

"I just want to make you feel good and I want to have sex with you but-"

Tav bit down on her lower lip, she could feel the heat running into her eyes as her vision became blurry. "I just don't know how...I've never had sex before."

Tav finally allowed the emotions that had been building up inside her to come pouring out. She felt a deep sense of relief, but at the same time, a wave of shame washed over her. She felt embarrassed for even having to ask Astarion for sex, feeling naive and inexperienced.

At the same time, Tav felt so inadequate when it came to physical intimacy; Astarion was the only one who had any sort of skill in that area. And it made her feel so small.

Astarion's expression softened as he realized what Tav had been hiding from him. "...No -...you?"

Tav wiped away the single tear, nodding.

Astarion felt his face burning as his heart raced and his palms grew sweaty. Tav was absolutely stunning and he had been wondering why she had grown so flustered and shy when her body trembled and begged for him. Now it all made sense.

"But..." Astarion cut himself short in the midst of his thoughts, overwhelmed by the magnitude of her offer.

He was taken aback by her beauty, her inexperience, and her willingness to give him something so special, something so treasured and valuable.

But Astarion felt undeserving - he couldn't help but feel guilty. He knew she deserved much better and that her virginity was too precious to give to someone like him.

He chuckled softly and scratched the side of his head, "I am the worst person for this." Meaningful sex? This was completely foreign to him. How could she even ask him that? Of course, he wanted her more than anything.

He leaned over and with the pad of his thumb, he wiped away Tav's damped cheek, "Now, now, little love." His arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer until she sat on his lap. "You should not feel ashamed of something like this. I mean, look at me."

Astarion's ears lowered in shame as he half smiled, "I can't remember half the people who used my body. I wish I knew a purity like yours." He rested his head on Tav's shoulder, "I'm just relieved you will never feel what I've felt."

Astarion felt protective towards Tav more than ever, he wanted to keep her safe. No harm would come to her as long as he was there to watch over.

Tav threaded her fingers between his white curls, sniffling away the embarrassment, "I want to feel you in every way possible, even if you think you're unworthy." Her lips connected with the skin of his forehead. "You were always special to me, Astarion."

He shifted his head up, catching the glisten in Tav's eyes. She chose him and still continues to each day. "You're full of surprises, aren't you?" He scuffed sarcastically before pulling Tav into a kiss.

His hands gently caressed her spine down into her back dimples. Astarion felt Tav shudder under his hold. She started to breathe heavily into the kiss, "I want you to know how much I love you..." Her eyes locked with his.

"Darling, you don't need to prove yourself with your body." The tension around them went soft and he held tightly onto her body, laying them both down against Tav's bedding.

Astarion cuddled Tav closely against his chest in an embrace. "On a perfect night, when the sky is clear and the environment is forgiving, I will take you into me and make you feel things you've never felt before. Ecstasy, my love."

"What if I don't know what to do?" Tav nervously glanced up at Astarion, who was quietly gazing out into the distance while gently stroking her hair. He was trying to be patient and not pressure her into making any decisions.

He wanted to take her under a bed of stars, and tonight he just wanted to hold her in his arms. Shield her from anything like he wished someone did for him. He would be that somebody he needed so long ago.

"I'll teach you, of course." He reassured her softly, still stroking her hair.

"You're not the only one who would be learning something." He peeked down at Tav, a smile tugging on his lips smugly.

"What, how?

Astarion's hands ran down Tav's side. His touch was gentle yet confident as he moved lower and lower. He whispered sweet nothings in her ear, telling her how beautiful and perfect she was. "I need to learn what gets you hot - "

Astarion smiled slyly as he felt her body react to his touch, knowing that he was driving her wild. His hands moved with a sensual grace as if they had done this many times before. "Where you shiver - "

"Where it hurts - " his hand gripped Tav's ass firmly, making Tav blush and squirm. Astarion continued to fondle Tav's ass, enjoying the feel of it in his hands and the way that the heat from Tav's skin seemed to seep into his own.

He leaned over Tav's ear, whispering teasingly, "Where you would want me to cum. Inside your tight cunt, or outside your soft stomach…"

Tav's body grew hot and her heart raced as Astarion's hand explored her body. She gazed up to look at him, her eyes wide with surprise and pleasure. Astarion smiled and leaned in to kiss Tav, their lips lingering together as he continued to caress Tav's ass. Intertwining their tongues together in a harmonious dance. She felt herself melting into his embrace, her body trembling with pleasure.

After what felt like an eternity, Astarion finally pulled away, and a satisfied smile tugged his lips. Tav blushed deeper, wondering what Astarion was thinking.

He chuckled, leaning in to kiss Tav's cheek. "You're so beautiful," his voice low and husky. Tav felt the aching between her legs, but she smiled, feeling her heart swell with happiness instead.

Sex was a scary thing for Tav. However, Astarion made her feel safe and seen, so maybe it was all in her head. She looked forward to when Astarion would take her as his.

They lay there in each other's arms for a while, their bodies intertwined in a peaceful embrace. Love was more than just sex, and it proved a hell of a point to them both.

Part 2 here

Any thoughts? Comment 👇🏼 I love to engage!

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 fic #bg3 tav #bg3 #bg3 fluff #astarion bg3 #bg3 astarion #astarion acunin #astarion x tav #astarion fanfic #astarion smut #astarion x reader #astarion #anon ask

[hopefulromances]

Long Time Coming I Chapter Nine I Electric Love

Summary: Being hired as the first female assistant coach in the league was a challenge of it itself. Being a football protigy and University Football Legend was easy enough. Coaching Jamie Tartt was a challenge all on its own.

Word Count: 2.9k

Warning: Some angst

A/N: Enjoy

Prologue One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight

Jamie gave me some space, for which I was grateful. We had our final match coming up and our dreams of promotion were just in sight. I wanted to be able to focus on what that, the match, which was the most important thing I’d be a part of. But of course, there was only one thing on my mind, and it was Jamie. Without having Jamie around to talk to, I found myself missing him more and more.

I moped my way through the day. Coming to work, going to my desk, going to the pitch, eating a plain salad, and going home. I didn’t want to let it affect my work so when I was on the pitch I tried to stay as unbiased as possible. But honestly, I felt more inadequate than ever. It didn’t help that the media seemed to be shining a light on every mistake you’d ever made in the league.

 “Look, all I’m saying is that she’s too much of an amateur to be on the team,” George Cartrick stated firmly on the Soccer Saturday show. “A woman cannot teach a man.”

“Now, George!” Jeff Stelling defended. “(Y/N) (L/N) has performed admirably under Lasso’s leadership.”

“She’s barely out the womb! What makes her think she’s qualified to be in the Premiere League?” George shot back. “She needs to pack her bags and get out of Richmond before she loses them a chance at promotion.”

I turned my phone off, running a hand through my hair in frustration. Maybe he was right. Maybe I wasn’t ready for this job.

            “George Cartrick is a twat with shriveled balls.” Roy’s voice entered from his side room. “And I should know, he constantly wears pants that show them off.”

I glanced up at him, stuffing my phone in my pocket. “Yeah, thanks, Roy.”

            “Hey, Roy’s right,” Ted agreed. “With the sentiment, I’ve never seen George’s testicles myself.”

I rolled my eyes and rested my head on the desk. I appreciated their sentiment I really did but I was just so BLAH at the moment that nothing they seemed to say or do really help. I was in a funk. A funk I had put myself into. Ted, Roy and Beard exchanged glances with each other.

            “You know, (Y/N),” Ted said, turning to face you. “You can talk to us about anything. Honorary Diamond Dog meeting.”

I peeked out of my arms to look around the room. Nate wasn’t in the room, so I didn’t have to worry about his sorry ass judging my for my pitiful nature. I lifted my head and took a deep inhale.

            “I’m putting space between me and someone I really care about, and I thought it would make me feel better but instead its hurting me more than anything has ever hurt me before.” It all came out in a fast stream of consciousness, not breathing until I got the statement out.

            “Wait, if this is someone you cared about, why are you putting space between you and them.” Beard questioned, finally joining the conversation. You pursed your lips, trying to figure out how to tread this line. There was no way in hell you were telling this group of people about Jamie.

            “Well, um, I was afraid my feelings were getting in the way… and he didn’t care about me the same way I cared about him.” I decided to say. “I thought that I needed to give myself time to get over him.” Beard opened his mouth to say something, but I didn’t let him say anything. “But instead of getting over him, it’s making me want him even more. And I’m trying to focus on the game but everyone and their mom is expecting me to fail! And all I want is to talk to this person because I know they would support me but now I’m afraid to even talk to him!”

Ted raised his eyebrows and let out an impressed whistle. “You got all that cooped up in that head of yours?” I nodded. “Well, no reason you’re in a funk. Look, (Y/N), I think you need to take a note out of a certain snow queen’s book and ‘Let It Go’.”

            “Frozen, classic,” Roy approved, nodding his head.

            “Wait, wait, wait. Let what go?” I asked, furrowing my eyebrows.

            “Well, it seems to me that you are holding on to every feeling, thought, and possibility,” Ted elaborated. “You hold onto all of that you’re gonna pop!”

You frowned at him. “Weren’t you the one who said that sometimes we should keep things inside?”

            “That was before I met the feeling of letting it go! It really works.”

            “It’s true, letting go is great, that’s how I do it,” Roy agreed.

            “Roy! You’re one of the most private people I know!”

            “I’m private, but I also have a very healthy relationship with my emotions and know who and when to trust people with my sharing,” he pointed out, shrugging.

Dammit I hated when he was right. I blew a raspberry and face planted on the table. I wanted to listen to them, and just let things go, but tomorrow was the big day. Maybe it was something I’d worry about later. For now, I’d just focus on the game.

That was my plan at least. But as I was leaving that night, someone pulled me into the boot room. I whipped around to see Jamie looking at me.

            “Jamie what-“

            “Hush, now, last time you got to talk and I didn’t so now you’re gonna listen to me.” He spoke so quickly that you could barely process exactly what he was saying to you.

            “Jamie I-“

“Hush!”

            “But I-“

            “Just listen!” He grabbed me, holding a hand over my mouth. I frown at him but stayed quiet. “I just want to tell you that I was wrong, yeah? I was wrong about everything. I don’t love Keely. I love you.”

My eyes became saucers as I realized what was happening. I knocked his hand away from me, suddenly feeling hurt. He was lying to me. He was giving me his pity. Well, I didn’t want it.

            “Jamie, please stop.” I felt my lip begin to tremble. “You’re being mean.”

            “No, no, no! I mean it!” He insisted, taking me by my shoulders and forcing me to sit down on the bench. He started picking at his fingers as he paced back and forth. “I really do, I was just- I was confused. I had this feeling, like… fluttery stuff in my stomach. And the last time I had that feeling you hated me, and I was with Keely. So… I guess I thought that I was getting that feeling again because of her. But when I told her it didn’t feel right. Then you told me how you felt, and I was so confused.” He finally paused and looked at me. “I know I’m slow, (Y/N), but I get there eventually.”

I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but I really couldn’t think of anything to say. I was still scared that this was all a joke. That somehow, he didn’t actually love you and he was just trying to get you back in his life no matter what. He held up a hand to silence you.

            “You don’t need to say anything, I know you probably don’t believe me, but I mean it.” Gave me a sideways smile, a hint of his normal cocky self coming out. He stalked forward and bent down, so he was eye-level with me, his face just inches away from mine. “And when we win tomorrow and get promoted, I’ll be doin’ it for you, love.”

The pet name fell so easily off his tongue and I felt my cheeks start to heat up under his gaze. His smirk grew as he saw the blush on my cheeks, any semblance of the anxious boy from before was gone. He gave me one last nod, a wink following it before he turned and left. I was left sitting dumbfounded in the boot room.

            “What… the… fuck?” I finally spouted, bringing my hands up to my cheeks.

            “That was something!” Fucking Will. I turned and looked at him, watching curiously as he shined some shoes. “The two of you are cute!”

I stared at him, still reeling from the interaction. At least there was someone else to there to prove that the interaction actually happened. I didn’t know how to feel. Part of me still believed that Jamie was lying as a way to get me to act normal again, and I honestly wouldn’t blame him. But the other part of me felt like I was soaring. Jamie liked me? No, LOVED me! Could this really be happening?

From then on it felt like I was on auto pilot. Leaving the club, getting home, doing my nighttime yoga. It was all like machinery as I figured out exactly how I should feel about everything. Tomorrow, everything would be different. Whether or not we’d be promoted was one thing but what happened with Jamie and me was entirely different.

It seemed like the whole world was on edge the day of the game. Ted was dealing with his personal life being on display, Roy was having the pain of having his feelings hurt, Beard was on the rocks of Jane (again, and Nate was… well he was acting weirder than normal. All we needed to get promoted was a tie, at the least, but Brentford was a formidable challenger.

I stood in the locker room, drawing up the formation on the board. We were running Nate’s new false nine strategy. It was certainly a choice to try a new tactic so late in the season, especially with promotion on the line but the tactic was good. Colin stood with me, chatting with me about his night and the parking ticket he’d gotten for parking half on the curb outside his house.

            “I swear I didn’t even feel the curb when I parked!” He whined, stretching his arms.

            “Colin, you’re a professional footballer,” I pointed out. “Just pay the ticket. And please, for the love of God, if you feel a bump, stop driving forward.”

He rolled his eyes at me glancing over to say hello to Sam as he walked into the room. Even Sam was had something going on. Edwin Akufo was on his ass about making a decision regarding joining his super team or whatever. I gave him a heartfelt smile which he returned. We all had chips on our shoulders, and this game would prove exactly what we could do with them.

The game did not start well. Brentford scored just twenty minutes into the game. Then again taking us into the half 2-nil. There had to be a solution to this. These guys could play this tactic easily but there was something disconnecting them from the execution of it. Going into the locker room, I could feel the anxiety and disappointment seeping from the lads.

            “I’ma shoot y’all straight. This is bleak, yeah?” Ted started the conversation. “I mean, look at it out there. Looks like a Renaissance painting portraying masculine melancholy.” We looked out into the locker room. It was true, they looked almost angelic in their portrayal of their grief. “Okay, so now what? What are we gonna do?”

            “We should abandon the false nine,” Nate suggested, shaking his head. “It’d work if we had players who knew what the fuck they were doing.”

            “That’s not true, Nate,” I snapped, standing from my seat. Nate glared at me, but I pressed on. “They are perfectly capable of preforming a false nine, they just…” I closed my eyes picture the pitch. “They need to change their perspective.”

            “I agree with (Y/N),” Ted chimed in. “You know, they just had 45 minutes to figure out what not to do. What do you think, Roy?”

            “You should ask them,” Roy offered. “They’re the ones out there actually doing this shit.”

Ted glanced at me then Beard. It was a good idea.

            “Yeah, all right.” We made our way out into the room, gaining the attention of the boys.  “All right, fellas. Coaches and I are are having a little debate and wanna get ya’ll’s take on it. Should we stick with the false nine or switch it up?”

The room was silent as the team thought it over, glancing around das they waited for someone else to speak. It was Jan Maas who stepped up first.

            “The tactic is sound,” he said. “and we’re all perfectly capable of executing it.”

            “Yes, you are,” I encouraged. “The false nine is about deception, playing offense through the guise of defense.” I walked over to the white board where I had drawn up the tactic before the game. “You’re playing too forward, and Brentford sees the moves you make before you make them.” I pointed to the different players. “Fall back, make them come to you, look for the gaps. That’s how you score.”

I turned back around and saw all the eyes on me. I felt a rush of gratitude going through me as I appreciated their sincerity. I deserved to be here, and they knew it. Then my eyes fell on Jamie, who was listening with a soft smile on his face. I felt myself start to smile too.

            “It will work,” Jan Maas agreed.

            “Hey!” Ted interjected. “If Jan Maas says it, you know it’s the truth, right?”

Jamie nodded. But he wasn’t nodding about Jan Maas. He was nodding about the way you had explained the technique to them. As if you were on the field with them, knowing what was going through their minds as they played.

We ended our team meeting with the whole team laying hands on our believe sign. This was it. The moment the team became a family. Going out into the second half, it was like an entirely different team. Before we knew it Sam had scored a miraculous goal and all we needed was one more.

I found myself holding my breath as Jan Maas sent a pass to Jamie. I held my breath as he took control of the ball and started towards the goal. Then a Brentford play was sliding into Jamie’s legs sending him stumbling to the ground. I let out a shout of distain as the crowd cried  to the referee. Then we got it! The referee called a penalty. Jamie hopped up and took the ball.

I knew he could make this goal easily; He hadn’t missed a penalty all season. He turned for a moment to look over at us on the sideline, and his eyes met mine. I could tell he was considering something and was looking at me for something, reassurance?  Whatever he was thinking, I knew he needed to follow his gut, so I gave him a nod. He nodded back to me. Then he did something unexpected. He gave the ball to Dani.

Jamie gave up his chance to be called the savior of Richmond. Because that’s not what he needed to do. In this moment, he needed to get Dani his confidence back.  Gone were the days that Jamie was afraid that Dani would replace him. Instead, he was working with him to allow the team to shine.

In that moment, I decided I didn’t care if the whole world stopped, all I wanted was to be with Jamie.

Which was good because it felt like the whole world did stop as Dani prepared to score. Time stood still as he ran towards the ball, and with one fell swoop Dani scored, tying the game. The stadium erupted into cheers and excitement. We did it, we really did it.

…

The excitement and celebrations of promotion lasted at least an hour as we paraded around the club. The boys found a bar to go to nearby to celebrate the win together. But I had unfinished business here, and I hoped Jamie would find me.

I stood on our pitch, hands in my pockets as I planned out what I was going to say. I was going to tell him that I loved him, too. That I wanted to be with him. That nothing else mattered. But then I saw him, big smile on his face, as he walked towards me in his red vest and ICON hat and everything, everything I planned left my head.

            “Well, what did I say?” He bragged as he walked towards me. “Promoted, eh? How’s it feel to be in the presence of greatness?” I stared at him as he came to stand in front of me. On our pitch. The same pitch I’d chewed him out on just a year ago. He cocked his head at me, raising his eyebrows. “What is it? Why you lookin’ at me like that?”

I grabbed him by his vest and pulled him down to kiss me. He recovered from his surprise in time to grab me by my waist and tugged me closer to him. Electricity shot through me as his lips fit mine just right. How was I supposed to kiss anyone else now that I knew what kissing Jamie was like? It was heated, it was sweet, it was passionate.

It was like fucking lightening.

A/N: To be continued...

Tag List:

@heletsmelovehim @higherthanheroes @ajax-petropolus-wife @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo @optimisticsandwichgladiator @kno-way-home @sleepy-time @wigglegiggle @skewedcherries @respondingtoshowerthoughts-blog @snubug @rana030

#jamie tartt #ted lasso #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt x y/n #ted lasso show #jamie tartt fanfiction #enemies to lovers #finally lovers

[rowanwithaz]

How Katsuki's Character Is Misunderstood.

I think people that hate Katsuki just don't really understand his character or how he breaks the cliches of most rivals in shonen.

Accidental rant :D

No Tragic Backstory.

Vegeta had his home destroyed,Sasuke's clan was murdered,Shadow lost everything,etc. They have "reasons" to be an asshole,people excuse they're actions because people say "You can't blame 'em,"

Which is kinda an awful way to look at people's actions and why they do it. A character always needs a motive,and killing half their family,giving them abusive parents,makes it easier to write them. (kinda like a cheat code)But,with Katsuki,he doesn't have a "good" reason to do all the bad things he did.Katsuki stands out because he has what we would call a good life. He has good grades,he has both of his parents,who love him,he has an awesome power,he has so many things going for him,so,in most people's minds he doesn't have any issues and he's just a spoiled brat who doesn't get what he wants. And I think that's what trips people up the most,because he doesn't have a objectively good reason to do anything,but,here's why it's GOOD he doesn't follow that formula. Katsuki is just a kid who was an asshole,that's really it,in reality it's so simple,but some how Horikoshi took one of the most simple things and made it so complicated and gave it so many layers.

Katsuki just felt like he wasn't enough even though people told him he was,he knew he had what people would call a "perfect life," that he was "perfect," and that's what messed him up so bad. He felt deep down,despite what other people were saying,he was inadequate; because one person who he shouldn't think is better than him makes him feel weak. It doesn't make sense. If you were pampered and told you were essentially perfect,then one slip up happens and someone who you have been told is beneath you,that should be beneath you,is the one who helps,it would confuse you too. (Also,remember,Katsuki is a CHILD when this all happens,and he had no one to talk to about it,so of course those feelings would build up over time). It also doesn't help Izuku always wanted to be near him,and when you look at it from Katsuki 's perspective,that person is only there to see you fuck up,that person (Izuku) is WAITING and WATCHING your every move. Waiting until you fuck up just to leave you and or mock you. You would feel like shit too if that's what you thought for ten years.

Katsuki is not some "brat throwing a tantrum because he doesn't get his way," He's confused and coming to terms with a lot of things. His arc is about acceptance. He learned to accept he isn't the best or strongest,he learned to accept he needed help,he learned to accept himself,he learned to accept Izuku.

The person Katsuki has been losing to his whole life,is the person he thought he should be. He had to let himself lose to win. GOD,THAT IS SO DEEP.

(*I also hate the whole thing of, "Well, Katsuki had no reason to be the way he was," then those same people will turn around and get mad that Toga is having a redemption arc because "nothing justifies killing" first, no one is saying it does,second,you were just saying you need a bad past to be forgiven for your bad actions,which is awful. Like,you can't make mistakes if you haven't suffered. That's fucked.*)

KaTsUkI DiDn'T fAcE aNy CoNsEqUeNcEs

My honest reaction:

Katsuki faced defeat his VERY first day at his dream school. It wasn't just that he lost,he had his HERO his IDOL the person he looked up to,insult and scold him while he sang the praises of Izuku right in front of him. I hate that argument so fucking much. Like,did you seriously read this blindfolded? It happens in the first VOLUME. And it just gets worse.

He gets kidnapped and then has to deal with all of that shit on his own. I also can't image being called a villain when you're trying your best to be a hero,and you got kidnapped because of your personality. Katsuki faced,in my opinion,the most brutal and most instant humbling ever. And real quick,I made a post about All Might and why I don't think he's going to die,and I brought up he sucked at teaching,and in my opinion,he was an asshole too. When he sees on of his students having a panic attack the first thing he says is:

"U.A. Will humble ya :D"

That is beyond problematic.

(Not All Might bashing! I think he's a great character,but I think he was an ass at the beginning of the series,that has a lot to do with his hero persona and his inexperience with children,and just socializing as a whole. And that's why I like him,because we see him grow to be less like his persona and more like his true,sweet,authentic self.)

Inconsistent Writing.

A lot of people get Inconsistent writing and...y'know...more than one tone and personality trait mixed up.

I've see people say, "I don't like how he's written because it's inconsistent,'' and I think that is bullshit. Mainly because out of all the characters Katsuki is objectively the most consistent one.

I saw this person say they didn't like how Katsuki's anger is treated as a joke then the most serious thing in the room,and I say that's valid,but I think the thing they don't understand is tone and context. In the context when it's a joke,Katsuki isn't necessarily even "mad". I think when it's used as a more comedic device,it's not his anger,it's his inability to express himself without yelling. And I think it's funny and interesting to see how Katsuki struggles to articulate himself when he's not "mad" or "yelling." He also lives in a household where communication is done by yelling.

The atmosphere and tone really matter too. When Katsuki has his more "funny mad" moments it's with a group of people all smily and happy. No one is actually "mad." Including Katsuki.

DAMN. I didn't mean to go on a rant like that. Uh,anyway;Katsuki is my favorite character,if you couldn't tell.

#mha #bnha #bakugo needs therapy #bakugo katsuki #Kacchan #great explosion murder god dynamight #Or should I say “murdered”? ahaha #i'll see myself out #greenade #charter analysis

[kairiscorner]

KAMUSTA POO I LOVE UR MARRIED SPIDERNOIR X READER FICS SMM??? 🫶🫶 I hope you dont mind if i request for something angsty, hurt/comfort 👀 like the reader finds out she’s infertile- had a miscarriage and is upset because she knew how much her and spidernoir husband rlly wanted to have children so he goes out his way to comfort her and stuff huhu 😭😭 and she’s also worried that this issue might cause a strain in their relationship but noir’s like “NOOO, i love u no matter what’

talking abt this prompt reminds me from the movie ‘UP’ by disney hehe (P.S i was also the one who req for that criminal prt 2 of x spidernoir!! I LOVED IT SMMM THANK UUU FOR FEEDING MY DELULUNESS, HAVE A GOOD DAYYY)

HIII POOOOO omg thank you too, so glad you loved it <:DD AND RGHHHH THANK YOU FOR PUTTING ME IN THE MOOD TO WRITE PAIN <33 I HOPE YOU LIKE THISSSS

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

even if we can't have that, i'll always have you — spider noir x reader (angst)

summary: you felt so inadequate, like such a disappointment when the doctor informed you that you could not bear fruit, you would never be a mother. though what made you feel even worse was the fact that your husband, peter, yearned for a family--and you couldn't even give him that. but does that mean he'll stop loving you? word count: 527

you mindlessly cut away at the vegetables, looking at them but not paying attention. your mind was empty except for the doctor's words that rang in your ears endlessly, echoing into the abyss that once was filled with dreams and love for little ones that will never be anymore: "ma'am, you cannot bear children. you are... infertile." the only sensation that brought you back to reality was the stinging pain of a cut you inflicted upon yourself by accident, with small drops of blood pooling on the cutting board and staining the vegetables.

you breathed in through your teeth as you washed off the blood, though you kind of wish the pain remained, so you wouldn't be reminded of how inadequate of a wife you felt when you heard the doctor's news for you. peter came home and was greeted to the sight of you bandaging your fingers. "oh, welcome home..." you muttered as peter rushed over to you and whispered a "what happened, love?" to you.

you couldn't bring yourself to face him, how could you? you were betraying him and going back on your promise with him to have a beautiful family together, which can never happen anymore because you can't provide him with that luxury. "peter... i'm sorry." you uttered as peter put your hands in his and gazed up at your eyes, which were filling with tears. "i'm not enough... it's... it's my fault we can't be happy..." you murmured as the tears fell and peter shushed you, wrapping his arms around you, kissing and wiping your tears away.

"beloved... what do you mean? that's just not true..." he said as he brushed your hair out of your face. you wiped away at your tears and sobbed out the news to peter. "i can't get pregnant... we can't have... children... i'm sorry, peter..." you choked out through your sobs as peter's face fell as he took in the news. he breathed in deeply, unsure of what to say to assure you, because this hurt him badly, too. though... peter wasn't going to leave you all because he couldn't have a family with you.

he held you closer and kissed your cheek. "my love, it's not your fault. i know we've both dreamed of having our own little ones, but even if we can't have that dream come true... i'd want nothing more than to at least have you in my life. you are the sweetest dream i've ever dreamt of, my perfect woman, and you... you made all my dreams come true already by letting me be yours." he said as he kissed the crown of your head and caressed your arms. you cried even more at his confession, asking him in broken cries if he means it, to which he nodded and kissed your lips that were being stained with your tears. "i promise." he said as he leaned his forehead against yours.

even if you couldn't fulfil his dream of fatherhood, you've already fulfilled all his other dreams, dreams he believed were impossible to attain before you married him and settled in with him, making all his dreams come true already.

tags !! @thecoolerdor @miguelswifey04 @sabcandoit @binibinileonara @luvstarrstruck @k4tsu3 @thee-fantastic-mrfox @fiannee @arachnoia @ophanimgold

#spider noir #spider noir x reader #spider noir x you #spider noir x y/n #spider noir angst #spider noir fluff #atsv #atsv x reader #atsv x you #atsv x y/n #atsv imagines #atsv angst #atsv fluff #spiderman across the spiderverse #spiderman across the spiderverse x reader #spiderman across the spiderverse angst #spiderman across the spiderverse fluff

[thepalaceofharuhime]

Hmmm…

Looking at your fandoms, I can’t help but think some sort of Bingqiu in Spy X Family (or a SxF Xianxia fusion) could be super fun!

The question is… what would their roles be.

Assassin Luo Binghe, or spy Luo Binghe… and which of them gets gender swapped. 🤔

Oh!! Maybe Shen Yuan was meant to be an ally of the female half of the main duo, Liu Mingyan, but through shenanigans he somehow ends up with her role instead, and the System demands he fake marry Binghe anyway. 😂

This is exactly the kind of prompt i was hoping for! TY!!! 🙏

The way i see it Binghe would definitely be the assassin, Shen Yuan is too big of a softie not to mention one who so easily put on the mask of another man before so he would definitely be the spy.

But also being oblivious to feelings yet a capable badass, bad in the kitchen, feeling inadequate as a partner? All Shen Yuan. Binghe with his protagonist Halo meanwhile would fit better with Mr. All around perfect Husband. So i guess it'd be a little like Yor and Loyd had switched professions.

Shen Yuan's over protective brother in a position of power? I wonder who that would be? Enter Shen Jiu haha. Rather than secret police he'd be a detective looking in to all the murders rather than keeping state secrets from spies though. To keep that rivalry between him Binghe. The family member Binghe became an assassin to provide for? His mom. The gardener AKA the guy who hired him and hands him his missions? Meng Mo. Franky,the spy's funny informant and gadget supplier, occasional babysitter and not to mention bestfriend? Shang Qinghua.

I dont know if i should replace Fiona with Liu Quinge as Fiona's character really would fit Binghe better. But Liushen is a weakness of mine even if onesided and those two were just made for coworker romances. Maybe I should give Binge someone trying to woe him too? Sha hualing? Then if i dont go with your other idea of having SY transmigrate in to Liu Mingyan (which i am saving up in my head because i absolutely love the idea) then i can add something in the background with her and Sha hualing. I'm positive i could find a way to write in Mobei for SQH or i could go with Scumplane and have him end up Shen Jiu and actually yeah that would work, need to distract SJ long enough for Bingyuan to get it on afterall. Oh what about SQH x SJ x LQG? Or should Shen Yuan get a second husbandafterall? Alternatively imagine LQG crying over a bowl of icecream.

Next question is if SY didnt transmigrate into LMY then who is he? What about Ning Yingying? Who could be SJ's little sister in this world? Or he couldve just been put in there as a female version of himself. Or like it was with Shen quingiu a character who vaguely resembles him and has a similar name. She just happens to be a woman though. Or maybe go with the mulan aproach and have him crossdress? But then how does he explain to his brother that he's suddenly - he could say that he's in love with binghe and the only way to marry him was fake his papers to pretend to be a woman since queer marriage isnt yet allowed in their fictional country. Like no one cares if they date its just they havent gotten to the legalisation of marriage yet. And if SJ asks why they had to get married so suddenly anyway (cuz no way in hell is SY getting away with saying he forgot to tell him for a year) he could say that they had to so they could adopt their daughter. Who in this case scenario could be Ning Yingying, should she still have Anyas powers? damian could be Ming fan or the little palace girl or whatever (im not yet far enough in the books to now her and the old man that well so id have to check the wiki) and i could make the palace master donovan desmond and have SY and LBH team up to take him down in the end.

Anyways yeah these are just some ideas, and again thanks for the prompt! I can't wait to write this! Maybe i'll draw something for it later too. ❤️

#mxtx svsss #svsss #svsss fanfiction #svsss au #luo binghe #luo bingge #luo bingmei #fanfiction #shen qingqiu #shen yuan #shen jiu #liu qingge #liu mingyan #ning yingying #sha hualing #shang qinghua #spy x family #spy x family au #fake marriage

[emblazons]

you've been writing a lot about parentified Mike lately, and while I appreciate it, from a story perspective I just don't understand why.

Maybe its just because I'm an elmike truther, but it really doesn't make sense to me why they would put such an unpleasant aspect into their friendship or romance when they could have just had her upset at him over Max's death or not sharing interests? With steve and nancy they broke up over barb and nancy wanting something else which made of sense without making steve "parent" her. idk. Maybe you're the wrong person to ask lol I'm just thinking out loud

I mean. Maybe I'm not the best person to give insight into why the duffers do what they do, but I can give why I think they did it?

Forewarning: this got really long, apologies lmao

Honestly (and take this from an out-of-universe perspective): I think they're fully aware of the strangeness of El as a character, and how she has a lot of narrative/personal "growth needs" that other characters don't just by nature of her background. She even from the pitch is referred to as "the outsider," and all of her arc, not just the romantic one, has been centered around finding a 'home' in the world, on top of finding the family she lacked before.

This, I'm almost certain, is why she always ends up on different paths than every other person she interacts with—she started with almost no sense of self as an individual, which means a sense of "self" has to be built and discovered (and remembered) for El in a way it already has been for our other characters. Max, Mike, Will, Dustin, Lucas—all of them have interests and desires, a sense of family (good or bad), know what they enjoy, and are evolving as they go along...but El didn't at the start of ST beyond lab trauma, which is why The Duffers have centered almost all of her character growth since then around discovering where she came from & who she wants to be.

With Mike though...there is an entirely different set of relational and character needs that have to be addressed. With Mike, the main struggles he has (from the pitch, again) are with insecurity, his belief that a girl will resolve that insecurity, his feeling valueless unless he can do something for the people he loves (almost like 'earning his place' in their lives) and his (almost certain) queerness...combined with how he is, at the end of the day, just another "everyman" guy.

Unlike El, Mike has some sense of personhood, his own established friends and interests and a home—but he doesn't feel like he has a place he's intrinsically appreciated, because (for whatever reason) he feels who he is inherently inadequate. Its why every season (and every time we hear Finn dig a little into Mike's character) we hear about Mike trying to serve others and "feel needed again," despite being hesitant to let them in—he desires unconditional acceptance, and to be valued for who he is inherently...while also being terrified to let people in enough to see him (lest his core identity be rejected).

When Mike and El were just friends, it was easier to sort them out as some version of "equals;" we all have friends who are in different life phases than us, or who have different needs we're trying to walk alongside as they try to meet them, which is why their friendship is cute in S1. With actual romantic partners though, we introduce an element of "trying to get your needs met" with the person you're most closely involved with...and for Mike and El, that means blending "a nebulous sense of self and desire to find an identity + family" with "a desire to have a girl fill a sense of inherent unworthiness," which, as most of us can see, leads to disaster.

Basically: From the snowball onward, writing romantic mlvn meant exploring what happens when you mix what El is looking for with what Mike tries to do to feel valued...and The Duffers have decided (rightfully, I think) that this means Mike is going to (consciously or not) move towards becoming the things El lacks to "become valuable," aka: protection from the "bad men," someone who is able to keep her safe from them, and...someone who can help her fill her needs for home + family, even though he is dramatically under-equipped at all of 12-15 to meet that task.

Because (especially s4) one of El's core needs has become a healthy father figure and found family, Mike is going to move toward behaving that way to be valuable...which means he's going to inadvertently conflate himself with the men who have also placed themselves in that role: Hopper and Brenner. It also means that Mike is going to feel that same "my child is leaving the nest" energy when El "grows up" and into herself as a wholly independent entity—which is why we see him say as much to Will in the van before the painting—

—and why it sometimes seems like El is almost "rebelling" against Mike as much as she has Hopper and Brenner over the seasons.

To your point though: all of this is inherently different from Steve and Nancy...because both Steve and Nancy had that sense of individual identity that El lacked at the start of the show. There was no space for a "parental" aspect to enter their romance in that sense—it was just two people who were incompatible, which is why they failed. Similarly, if Mike and El would have started the romantic part of their relationship at end of S4 points of the narrative—or even end of S3, after El had a second to come into her own with Max—things would have been a lot different for them, I think.

Only...that's not what happened, and...not how they're resolving Mike's insecurity about being inherently valuable. They broke Mike and El down romantically vis a vis this "she's looking for herself and he's trying to fill his own void with her" track, and then gave Will the entirety of the hand to soothe Mike's deepest fears instead, which is why Mike and El will break up and Mike will end up with and around Will more, because Will knows Mike’s heart and sees Mike as an equal even with his flaws...and loves him for it. 🤷🏽‍♀️

(There are also (in my opinion) fundamental thematic reasons they were working toward as reason why they wrote even the breakdown of mlvn that way (the themes of rejecting forced conformity, found family, and even embracing your love for things other people might think are childish are served by this "version" of the Mlvn to Byler transition) but. I can see why someone wouldn't like it if they were attached to Mike and El being close anyway lmao).

Anyway! I hope...that helps? Honestly that's just how I've come to understand it, and hope that offers some sort of solace or explanation. Its what makes the most sense to me anyway (lol).

Regardless, thanks for the ask! :)

#anti mlvn #elmike #stranger things #byler #mike wheeler #el hopper #st analysis #my st commentary #st writing #asks #the me tag #duffer brothers #the come back tag

[himbosuplex]

Mais, talk about! (Gambit/Rogue/Magneto)

Mais, talk about! [X-Men '97 (Gambit/Rogue/Magneto)]

Premise:

Remy LeBeau stands outside Magneto's room, unable to forget an impromptu kiss earlier that day and wanting to finally put an end to the uncertainty that lingers between he and Rogue.

But the answer isn't quite as simple as he thought...

[Link to the fic on AO3]

Notes:

Posting this at near 3am before X-Men '97 inevitably kicks over my sandcastle and declares it wrong in every way.

Please take the references to off-screen events with patience, as this is but a portion of a much longer fic I'd like to write but simply just don't have the energy to at the moment, so the most you get of prior events is a spicy comic I made recently. I wanted to, at the very least, float the idea of "Romyneto" to more people, as surprisingly few folk have considered that maybe you don't need to fracture a love triangle... Maybe you just need to make it into a heart.

Hashtag let Rogue have both the spicy chaos bisexual AND Sexy Grandpa... she's been through enough and deserves it.

Also a final author's note: I'm from Texas, not Louisiana, so pardon my clumsy use of Cajun French. I did an embarrassing amount of research for this short of a fic, but hopefully it'll pay off in the future. Anyway, keep reading for the actual fic!

-----

Remy stood outside the door to Magneto’s room, resting his forehead on the rich stained wood. He had been mustering up the courage for close to ten minutes to knock. The only thing propelling him forward was the fear of being seen loitering.

All he intended was to check if Magneto was awake and willing to talk. It was the early hours of the morning, but who the hell had a normal sleep schedule anymore? He briefly considered waiting for Rogue to return, which would likely be the wiser choice. However, Remy wasn’t always known for making the most prudent decisions, especially after a drink or two to calm his nerves. Waiting for Rogue wouldn’t alleviate the intense anxiety he felt at that moment.

After all, he was dealing with someone who was intellectually superior and more powerful in every aspect. Magneto was someone who seemed to excel effortlessly at everything, akin to a character from one of Jubilee’s video games. Moreover, Magneto could actually touch the woman Remy loved. Perhaps it would be easier to just give in or give up. It wasn’t that Remy opposed being in an unconventional relationship with Rogue, or even being intimate with another man. It was simply the fact that it had to be him—a person who felt threatening on multiple levels and made him feel inadequate whenever he was around.

Clenching his fist, he rapped on the door before he could chicken out and leave. He had never been this gêné, this easily embarrassed. It frustrated him to feel this way and it frustrated him that of all aspects of his life that he could feel insecure about, it was this. He always had so much confidence with Rogue because he did truly think any physical hurt he experienced was entirely worthwhile. Now he wasn’t even sure if she felt the same about him anymore.

Maybe he should just wait and talk to her like an adult, like Jubilee said. As much as he hated being called out by a teenager, he did have to begrudgingly admit she was right. No one answered the door, so he assumed that some people did indeed have a normal sleep schedule. Or at least, he hoped so. Turning to leave, he managed only a few steps before the doorknob clicked, and the door slowly opened.

Qu’el tonnerre m’écrase.

He leaned towards the partially open door, peering into the dark room. There was nothing. Could it have opened by itself? He knew the chances were slim, but he held onto hope. As he moved to leave, some invisible force pulled him back towards the door. Merde. It seemed better to comply than to be dragged in like a child. Gingerly pushing the door open with his index finger, he entered the dark room.

“So you awake, eh?” he said as casually as he could manage, adjusting to the dimness. The door clicked shut behind him, and the curtains parted slightly, allowing a sliver of moonlight to illuminate the room better. “You gonna talk or just gimme frissons?”

“Do you make a habit of waking people up at three in the morning?” Magneto’s voice carried an edge of irritation as he gestured for Remy to take a seat on the edge of the bed. Sitting upright, his hair tousled from sleep, and his chest bare, Magneto exuded a commanding presence even in the dim moonlight filtering through the room. The sheets draped luxuriously around him hinted at more than just his bare chest, drawing Remy’s attention despite himself. While his usual skintight uniform left little to the imagination, Magneto’s well-sculpted physique was even more striking when unclothed.

“Non.” Remy took the indicated seat, unable to suppress a smirk. “Only when Gambit feeling particularly vindictive.”

Annoyance briefly flashed across Magneto’s face before he regained his usual icy composure, his features settling into a mask of stoicism. “Did you intend to discuss anything or were you just being ‘vindictive?’” His cold eyes bore into Remy, reflecting the moonlight with an almost ethereal glow.

Remy felt the urge to respond with his usual charm and sarcasm, but he knew better than to try such tactics with Magneto. He was just as immune to this as he was to Rogue’s abilities. Nor did such banter seem conducive to actually hashing out anything going on between them. Clearing his throat nervously, Remy ran his fingers through his hair, searching for the right words to broach the subject weighing on his mind.

“Why Magneto go and kiss Gambit, huh?” Remy’s question hung in the air, heavy with tension.

“I’ll acquiesce, but first I wish for you to answer my question.” Magneto’s sneer was evident even in the dim light.

“What dat, den?”

Magneto’s piercing gaze filled him with unease. “Why did Gambit kiss Magneto back?”

Remy felt a weight press down on his chest, as if the air had been sucked out of the room. He should have anticipated this question, especially after bringing up the kiss from earlier that day, but he still wasn’t prepared for it. The shame of his desperation hadn’t abated at all since it had happened. An overwhelming urge to flee flooded his mind, urging him to make a dash for the door in the hopes it would yield. Excuses and cop-outs ping-ponged across his mind, and he was ready to try anything to avoid answering the question.

“Ah,” Remy began, shaking his head. “Maybe we gon wait til Rogue gets back, yeah?” He attempted to shrug off the weight of the conversation, rising to his feet in an attempt to retreat to the safety of his own room. But once again, he was met with resistance, pulled back with enough force that he stumbled and flopped onto his back, legs still dangling over the edge of the mattress.

“Do you require a reminder?” Magneto’s voice was low and commanding as he leaned in closer, silver hair falling around his face. At such close proximity, his intense eyes were mesmerizing, and Remy could feel the warmth of Magneto’s breath against his skin. “You never gave the impression of someone who would flee so easily.”

Remy wanted to respond with one of his usual comebacks or snide remarks, but his brain failed him. Clutching the bedsheets tightly, he attempted to quell his frayed nerves. The offer of warm lips was tantalizing, his loneliness making him feel touch-starved and desperate. From such close proximity, he could better appreciate just how attractive Magneto truly was. With sky blue eyes framed by strong brows and accentuated by thick, dark eyelashes, Magneto’s features exuded a captivating allure. Rather than detracting from his sharp features, the creases and wrinkles around his eyes and mouth seemed to enhance them, giving him a distinguished air. It was the kind of face that anyone, regardless of preference, could acknowledge as objectively handsome.

Clearing his throat, Remy shifted uneasily. “Man gets tres lonely sometimes, yeah.”

“This is true, yes. Therein lies your answer.”

Once more their lips touched, this time without Remy giving any pretense of resistance. Heat surged through his body, his fingers digging into the bedsheets as he held on tighter. Initially, he had attributed his resentment of their first kiss to the realization there was merit to Rogue’s attraction. But now, he knew the reason was far more primal: he wanted to be kissed again.

There was a comforting strength in the way Magneto kissed him. While Rogue possessed raw physical power, their rare moments of physical contact held a delicate yearning—a desire to be held and protected in ways her power denied her. But with Magneto, it was different. His unwavering confidence manifested even in moments of intimate affection, a man who was more than capable of taking what he desired. As their lips parted, Remy couldn’t help but feel vulnerable and consumed by a deep longing.

“You say dat the answer, but it don’t make sense, no.” Remy pushed himself back up, turning around so that the two of them sat face to face. “Mais la, why would you ever be lonely?” The tone of his voice implied what he left unsaid: ‘You have Rogue.’

“It is not mine I speak of.” Magneto extended his hand, reaching towards Remy’s arm. The movement caused the sheets around his waist to slip downward, revealing the bare skin of his hip. Only the bed linens separated his unclothed body from the cool air. The moonlight played off the contours of his body, accentuating every curve and muscle.

Remy hesitated, his mind racing with thoughts of how Rogue might react to the situation. It was evident that she and Magneto had been spending considerable time together, reigniting whatever bond they shared in the past. However, he couldn’t assume that their relationship had progressed to the extent his insecurity insisted. Would he truly be any better if he acted behind her back? He couldn’t deny the attraction he felt towards Magneto, nor could he ignore the tantalizing prospect of exploring a relationship unburdened by the complexities of their current love triangle. And yet, he couldn’t shake the guilt that gnawed at him, the fear of betraying Rogue’s trust and the uncertainty of how she would react when she found out.

As he looked into Magneto’s piercing blue eyes, he saw a depth of understanding that promised something more than just physical intimacy. It was a proposition of mutual respect, a chance to be seen and valued in a way that most around him failed to do. Despite the taunts and deliberate attempts to antagonize, he got the distinct impression that Magneto thought more highly of him than it seemed at face value.

Perhaps it wasn’t about choosing between having Rogue for himself or letting her be with someone else - but about embracing the complexity of all their desires. Though their exchanges were often fraught with confrontation, there were moments when Remy caught glimpse of a softer side to Magneto. It was in the way Magneto’s gaze lingered longer than necessary, the soft way he looked at Rogue, and the subtle hints of approval that slipped through his stoic facade.

“Gambit don’t know…”

“You came here tonight to talk, so let us talk.” Magneto interrupted, his tone firm but not unkind. He continued to offer his extended hand, and after a moment’s hesitation, Remy accepted, allowing himself to be pulled down beside Magneto into a supine position.

“When we talk before, you said… you could help Gambit make tings work.” Remy continued, his fingers fidgeting nervously as he played with the hem of his crop top. “How you gonna help if Rogue already choose you? How I gon’ compete wit Magneto of all people?”

“As I explained before, I have no interest in competition - nor do I wish to force Rogue to make a choice. Given that you are here, I presume you considered my words.” Magneto’s gaze was steady and unwavering.

“Been considered, yeah. But dat don’t make ‘em easier to reconcile, no.”

Magneto ran a coarse hand up Remy’s stomach and under his shirt, eliciting a sharp inhalation from Remy in response. Despite their similar size and stature—identical in height and nearly in weight—Magneto exuded an aura of all-encompassing dominance and strength. Every movement carried with it a sense of purpose and intentionality, from the firm grip of his fingers to the deliberate pressure applied when touching intimately. It was enough to convey a degree of authority and dominance, without crossing the threshold into discomfort.

“I am disinterested in forcing you to do anything you do not wish to participate in,” Magneto spoke, his voice low and measured. “No matter what you may have assumed, Rogue does care about you deeply. It is evident that we both share affection for her.”

With a subtle shift of his hand, Magneto gripped Remy’s waist firmly, pulling their bodies together. “Facilitating the two of you to touch without the barrier of her power would be effortless for me, a mere afterthought. However, I have no desire to be but a third wheel or to ‘share’ that which cannot and should not be treated like a belonging to be passed around.”

Remy’s body trembled with a mixture of excitement and apprehension, his mind racing as he tried to process the implications of Magneto’s words. He wished he had chosen to wear something less revealing than gray sweatpants for this visit, something that didn’t tent so easily under the pressure of Magneto’s touch.

“Do you accede?” Magneto’s voice cut through Remy’s thoughts, drawing him back to the present moment.

“Got me too much an envie to fuss. Maybe Magneto make a good cher, yeah?”

“I will interpret that as a yes.” Magneto spoke with a hint of amusement.

“Mais talk about! Got a lot to learn you if you gonna be with Gambit!”

“Very true,” Magneto conceded, wrapping his arms around Remy and pulling him close. “Apropos of nothing, you may call me Erik. In private, at least.”

“I like dat, me,” Remy murmured, nuzzling his face into Erik’s strong chest. He looked forward to when Rogue would return from her trip and couldn’t help but anticipate the surprise that awaited her.

With a contented sigh, he closed his eyes, allowing himself to bask in the warmth of their shared moment. For the first time in a long while, he felt a glimmer of hope that he could find happiness in this unconventional arrangement. Remy found himself drifting off to sleep, lulled by the steady rhythm of Erik’s heartbeat beneath his ear. As he succumbed to the embrace of slumber, he couldn’t help but feel grateful for the unexpected turn of events that had brought him here.

#text post #fanfic #fanfiction #x men the animated series #xmen #x men #x men 97 #xmen 97 #gambit/rogue/magneto #gambit/magneto #remy lebeau/erik lehnsherr #remy lebeau #erik lehnsherr #romyneto #rated T for teen

[jessimiko]

MANY THOUGHTS HEAD FULL, it's analysis time

So, Ruby has been blaming herself for a number of deaths, or at the very least, beating herself up about not being "good enough" to save them. Pyrrha and Penny especially, given the circumstances. Chapter 8 made that pretty clear, right?

This was all part of this period in her life where she has struggled with that heaviness, that feeling of never being enough. This is the period of her life that took her down to her lowest. She was in her caterpillar stage, if you will.

Once she hit rock bottom, she was taken to the tree, and quite literally cocooned in it. She was forced to confront her guilt and self-doubt, which is what needed to happen in order for her to rise. The tree represents change, rebirth, metamorphosis.

And when she emerged, she left those shackles behind. She realized she had been enough all along, and accepted herself, imperfections and all.

She's moved on to a new period in her life. That era of giving away pieces of herself and sacrificing her own well-being, of feeling inadequate, is over. She no longer carries the weight of Pyrrha and Penny's deaths on her shoulders.

In that way, Pyrrha and Penny represent the past, and Ruby's aforementioned guilt and self-doubt in chapter 8.

It's heavy, so heavy it's crushing her, but she feels like she can't let go of it. And that's what was preventing her from moving forward, what was holding her back.

But what about the future, and what could be?

In chapter 8, Oscar and Little both represent the future, and the people Ruby hasn't lost yet.

She's shown both of their deaths, real or not, and it's enough to break her. What is the point in fighting if everyone she loves is just going to die anyway? How could she ever look any of them in the eye again if she isn't good enough to protect them, even now?

This is the manifestation of Ruby's greatest fear.

But, at the same time...

...they also represent the good things the future could hold.

Little has ascended and become Somewhat. They found their purpose, and came back as a better version of themselves. Somewhat may not have Little's memories...but the heart rarely forgets, right? The bond Ruby had with Little is still there, deep down. Just because they're gone, and they may not see Somewhat ever again...that doesn't mean she has to leave them behind. They live on as a part of her memories.

EDIT: and how could I forget!!! Ruby's one act of kindness is what led Little to becoming Somewhat, becoming what they needed to be. Ruby's actions and decisions can lead to good, even remarkable things, in the future. And this is proof!

"Nothing, no one, is ever truly gone."

Oscar has the courage to face whatever it is the future holds for him. He is afraid, and he doesn't deny that, he fights on in spite of it. He is a very open and honest person, and he could see Ruby's pain from the beginning. He sees her.

And something is budding between Ruby and Oscar. Something is going to shift once they reunite, as they've both been made painfully aware of how it would feel to lose each other. How will their relationship grow from here? Will they find comfort and safety in each other? Will they grow even closer? I believe it was Miles himself who said their relationship is still being defined. Who knows what the future holds for the both of them, together?

Unlike the past, the future is uncertain. It could lead to many things, both good and bad.

With the end of this volume, we've reached a very big turning point. Ruby has taken the first steps toward the future, ready to leave the weight of the past behind.

#rwby #rwby9 #ruby rose #rosegarden?? in MY analysis post?? unheard of /s #he's just such an important part of her narrative #if you disagree with that idk what to tell you #you're just wrong lmao

[algumaideia]

Leo's arc: Disability and Trauma

Happy disability awarerness and pride month.

I also discussed about his arc and queerness if you are interested.

This essay is not cohesive.

The main problem with Leo in hoo was his loneliness and inability to connect in a meaningful way with other people. Reducing those very complex problems to a need for a girlfriend and treating getting one as a solution was a terrible ending to Leo's arc.

Leo’s problems are brought up in some key moments: his conversation with Hephaestus, his conversation with Nemesis, the time he talked about why he makes jokes, and particularly to me, his conversation with Jason post Medea.

At the same time Leo has a fear of being left alone he also can’t bring himself to let people come too close to him. This can clearly be traced back to his mother’s death. The person he loved the most and was the closest to died “because” of him which later made all his family abandon him, and there is also his problem with the adoptive families that was never specified. To add to this Leo was also a weird kid, not what people consider the default, since he has adhd, is mexican and we see him having problems for not fitting the “ideal of masculinity”.

This rejection by his family and peers, plus his disability, made him feel very inadequate while looking for ways to fit enough to not be bullied, but not at the point of really forming any connections.

The guilt he feels for his mother and his trust broken by his family added a new wall between him and the rest of the world. Those things were a matter of protecting himself. Trying to not get himself hurt while also not really allowing him to hurt anyone.

I think Rick made a good job at establishing how trauma shaped Leo. He is evasive, doesn’t know and like to deal with his negative emotions so he jokes, he is aware he can be seen as annoying unintentionally so he is annoying intentionally.

Everything about him is about the fear of rejection, the fear of intimacy and not knowing how to connect meaningfully with people. 

And thinking about it, it makes sense he is so focused on wanting a girlfriend. A girlfriend “gives” him the feeling of being desired, wanted, of havings something good and special, a connection because we are set to see romantic relationships as more important and deep than platonic relationships and it validates his masculinity.

However, getting a girlfriend wouldn’t solve any of his problems. Maybe it could offer some momentary relief, but it obviously wouldn’t solve his trauma and make him learn how to connect with people and go through his fears. 

It also doesn’t help how Calypso and Leo interact. We often see Calypso saying bad things about Leo, someone with low self-esteem, being mad and fighting when what Leo most needs is reaffirmation and security within a relationship, romantic or not.

Disregarding Leo’s trauma and how his disability plays into it just to pretend everything is alright when a girl accepts to date him is very bad writing.

And talking about adhd, I’m no expert and I do not have the disorder, but neurodivergent people often have problems maintaining relationships, and people with adhd also struggle with social cues, masking, finding coping mechanisms to deal with the anxiety and rejection. 

The point is, the set up of Leo’s arc was good, but the ending was beyond terrible.

#leo valdez #rick riordan critical #anti caleo

[thecameronchronicles]

Distractions

TW: Smut, language. 

SUMMARY: after hiding your crush on Topper for the last three years, you finally decide to make a move... 

PS-No hate to Sarah 

Word Count: 2900

Distractions 

It finally happened. For the first time in your friendship with Topper Thornton, he was single. You'd waited three years for this after he started dating Sarah Cameron, the kook princess. You always felt incomparable to her with her Bratz-doll comparison and eloquence, her grace but strong sex appeal. To summarize, she made you feel inadequate in every way possible. And yet, she wasn't smart enough to see what you saw in Topper. 

You knew this from the way she'd treat him. Always talking over him and undermining his jokes, stories, and opinions, dragging him along to the activities she liked as he'd play the role of a boyfriend all while hiding the look of annoyance in his eyes, and lastly, using him to fit into her bubble wrap lifestyle despite the fact she was more of a free spirit than the debutante her family wanted her to be. But even if she'd made the decision you'd secretly hoped for each day, you hated to see him in pain. Even if it meant she was out of the picture. 

But then you had another obstacle. Yourself. The thing was, Topper was your friend but in a term so loose it was just beyond that of a stranger. Because he was friendly with everyone. Every guy knew the layout of his house for his weekly pool parties and every girl had attended his surf competitions as an excuse to see him shirtless. And in both instances, he'd offer that million dollar smile and words of comfort and small talk. 

This was how you'd met, three years ago during one of Rafe's parties. Seeing you alone, he'd offered a drink and a tour, sharing a pleasant conversation as you swore you'd fallen in love with him in that moment from the deep conversation and interest shared for hours. But that very next day, he'd walked the halls of the Kook academy with Sarah Caemron, destroying your hopes and your heart in the process. 

Which was why when you saw him nursing his third beer, you realized it was now or never. ‘Now’ in case she'd come to her senses and realize her mistake. And ‘never’ in case you'd never have this nerve again. For this, you collected the shot from the closest table, swallowing it without a chaser for optimum effect, and made your way to join him with his somber isolation away from the majority of the party. 

"Want some company?" He nodded, half drunk and half high from the cannabis offered by your host to each and every patron all for that extra cash. As you'd denied it, a portion of you came  to regret it as you needed anything to take the edge off. 

"You know...I just don't get it..." He spoke, trailed off into the disrespectful remark of someone clearly over him as you'd shown in small ways that you'd always supported him. Even if you didn't have much of a reason, he'd always give a smile and a kind hello, even lingering a gaze in a few instances, but always keeping a distance that made you wonder if he ever thought of you in that capacity as well. But now, you subjected yourself to his mourning as it meant being with him. 

"I did everything...I was patient and giving...I mean...three years and we didn't even have sex and I never cheated on her or anything.." He shook his head, this fact baffling you as you couldn't imagine NOT wanting to have sex with Topper. He was exceedingly handsome and emanated a warmth from his confidence that drew girls in like moths to flames-you being no exception. But to think of being with him in that way and not allowing those touches, made the truth to part your silent lips. 

"She's an idiot, Topper..." His eyes rose to you in surprise. 

"I don't think I've ever heard you talk bad about anyone..." 

"Yeah...well...I don't think you're right for each other...I don't think she was good to you..." His eyes narrowed for just a moment as his lips parted to speak before he shook off the thought. 

"What?" 

"Nah, it's nothing..." 

"No...please...I want to know..." You pushed, crossing your legs and relaxing with your palms supporting you as you enjoyed the water and waited for his response. 

"I just...I thought...There were so many times I wanted her to be more like you." His words left you stunned as this relaxation was replaced with tension. But it was a tension that was synonymous to a knotted muscle being massaged; necessary for imminent pleasure. 

"You're always so sweet and supportive and you never play any games... and you're loyal...I mean it, you've used the same shampoo since I've known you-" You chuckled at how he knew such a detail. 

"You'd never cheat on someone you said you loved...You wouldn't make them think you loved them and leave them for a...for a pogue of all people..." He shook his head as you slowly nodded. 

"You're right...If I found someone who made me feel like that, I'd do whatever I could so he felt appreciated..." 

"Lucky guy..." He finished off the remnants of his beer as he let out a deep exhale. 

"Topper?" You chilled at the sound of his name being called by Rafe, aware your window of opportunity was closing. 

"That's my que for beer pong...maybe something to get my mind off of all of this shit, right?" You slowly nodded, berating yourself as he prepared to stand before something came over you. Before you could understand it, you'd straddled him, fingers softly over his shoulders, as he'd just stared into your eyes. 

"Maybe I could offer a better distraction?" You teased, relaxing how you have to pull out all the stops to garner his attention. But the way you were nervous, blushing beneath the moonlight and tone anything but confident, drew him into you unapologetically. 

"What exactly did you have in mind?" He inquired, fingers playing with the knots of your swimsuit bottoms raised just above your swim shorts. 

You moved into him, slowly to see if he'd retract, before feeling his hands suddenly forced you into a collision of lips. Tasting of weed and beer, as you'd expected, you found his tongue to part your lips and instate dominance before pulling back to speak. 

"Just as sweet as you look..." These words deepened the crimson over your cheeks as he fueled you to prove yourself to him. To prove you could be better than her. That you could do the things she would. That's you could make him happy. 

Because of this, you pulled him closer and kissed him harder, feeling him react in approval with an erection now developed against your thigh. Even still, you demanded more, your hips grinding against his as the soft lips he'd only ever known to showcase kindness were frenzied over his own. 

"Want to-?" Before he could finish his question, you'd nodded, as you helped him to his feet, assessing just how drunk he had been, which was now just a buzz, enough for a steady gait as he led you to the closest bedroom. 

Hand to his chest, you moved him to the door to close it, as he navigated to your hips immediately. 

"Come here..." He ordered softly, eyes trained on yours before your hands ran up the muscles of his torso, finalizing over the flex of his arms pulling you even closer, until wrapping finalized within his hair. 

"You're so fucking sexy..." He commented, sending your confidence into orbit as you bit your bottom lip and led him to the bed, setting him on its edge, as you straddled him. But the second you'd managed to find confidence in this, he had swept you onto your back. 

"You are supposed to distract me...not make me lose my mind..." He explained with a smile, kissing down your chest and lower still until he came to your waist. You pulled your hands over your chest, reservation to your lack of experience, as he lowered them to your sides. 

"It's okay...you can pull my hair as hard as you want while I find out if you're just as sweet down here as well..." His words left your lips in a part as he untied the bottoms of your bikini before revealing you to him. A wicked grin of approval extending his grimace as he licked his lips and motioned against you. Your back pulled into an arch at the initial contact of his tongue, a long stripe between your folds as he moaned into you in agreement to your slick. 

"So fucking sweet..." He growled against you, placing either of your legs over his shoulders before yanking you at the edge of the bed. The gasp that left your lips was quickly remedied by a moan as he lifted from between your thighs, heaving from how you'd nearly drowned him already-a fact he didn't seem to mind. 

"I think that's the first time I’ve ever heard you moan...and I think it's the absolute sexiest thing I've ever heard." He explained, a whimper leaving your lips. 

"I never want you to stop moaning for me..." With these words, he returned into you, tongue taking stock of just how aroused you were, while he laid his fingers to your entrance, making small circles as you shook. 

"It's okay, baby...I'll go slow..." He inserted his middle finger, slow penetration pulling your lips into a silent oval as he grinned. 

"So tight...perfect..." He moaned. 

"Think you can take two?" You nodded, feeling him stretch you wide with his second finger before his thumb made work of your clit. Deviously soft circles testing what you could withstand before exchanging his thumb for his tongue, flicks alternated with rubs until he had had shuddering beneath him. 

"Mmm...I want you to cum on my tongue, baby...so fucking sweet, I wanna have your taste all night..." You nodded, feeling a tightness in your stomach foreign but deduced to be that very pleasure. 

"Good girl." Your eyes somersaulted into the back of your head to his praise as he pulled your fingers to his hair, moving deeply against you. 

"Oh my God! Topper! Topper, I'm gonna-" You blushed at how quickly he held you at the edge, but your desperation had you falling over it, all while he lapped up the trophy of what was left behind as evidence. 

"So good for me-" He attempted this second praise as you'd been motivated to reciprocate. The fumbling of your fingers, finally stationary, as you'd had him at the edge of the bed. 

"You want to get on your knees for me?" He asked as you nodded. 

"God, where have you been?" He breathed a deep exhale as you pulled his trunks past his hips until they bunched at his ankles, your hands pushing him back into a seated position while he watched you nervously swallow at what he'd revealed to you. 

A thick shaft, angry and pained, crying just for you for its perfect head. You couldn't fathom how he'd wanted you badly enough to be this hard, and yet, he had proven it in this moment. 

"Start slow of you need to..." You nodded, "But I won't be able to say nice for long..." You kept your eyes to him to gather his response to your actions, an action in itself that made his eyes roll. 

"Especially if you look at me like that...fuck..." He led a deeper breath as you used his precum as initial lubrication to a few steady strokes before finally taking him into your mouth. Soft and warm, vaguely salty, you were surprised at how aroused you were to the feeling. It was enough to push past your reservations as this worsened when hearing him moan because of you. 

"Always acting so innocent..." He scoffed. "On your knees, choking on my cock so beautifully...damn..." You took him deeper, ignoring the tears that blinded you, before feeling his grip in your makeshift ponytail tighten. 

"But I'm not coming down your throat tonight...I wanna feel every inch or you..." He pulled you back to him deep kisses, before setting you into a straddle across his hips. 

"Condom in my wallet..." He spoke between kisses as you shook your head. 

"I'm on the pill, and you just admitted you haven't been with anyone..." 

"You're sure?" 

You nodded, teeth taking possession of his ear as you spoke hot against his ear. 

"I want to feel all of you inside of me..." He was quick to oblige, lining you up against him before setting you slowly to consume his cock. He continued this descent in slow succession, making you wince, as he was softly caressing your skin. 

"You're doing so good, just a little further, sweetheart...fuck-" He breathed in finality to the depth you'd taken him, bottomed out into your stomach. 

"Gonna move you now, okay?" You nodded, unable to formulate even a single sound as he guided you to rise and fall over him. 

"Gotta relax, baby, it'll feel better that way..." He kissed you to try and offer this distraction as you nodded in agreement, a rhythm found quickly by his guidance and your growing carbality. 

"You're too good to me...Too fucking tight for me..." He groaned into your shoulder, teeth leaving soft impressions on your skin as he smirked against you in a wince. 

"If I'd known you wanted this, I'd have done it so much sooner..." You smiled before pressing him softly onto his back. 

"I want to fuck you, Topper...Not talk to you..." You teased as he grinned, eyes lust blown at how you managed to shed your innocence for him in this moment, "And I want you to make me cum again..." 

He nodded, drawing circles to your clit as you rode him as promised, leaning into him when he became unhinged with his wild bucking thrusts-hand to the back of your neck and another from one side of your waist to the other to keep you in place. 

"Don't fucking move-" He ordered, sending his cock to the new curve of this position, pain and pleasure pulsating through you. "God, you feel fucking perfect, ugh-shit..." He groaned. "I need to go faster-" 

"Yes!" 

"You gonna be able to take it?" 

"YES!" He held your hips at a rested position, ramming up into you as perspiration and unified moans and groans filled the space between you. 

"Topper! Don't stop! Please...don’t...fucking stop!" You pleaded as he hesitated. 

"Such dirty words from such a pretty mouth..." He smirked. 

"Topper please..." You mewled as he nodded. 

"I'll make you come baby, you've been SO good to me...SO fucking good...You've earned it...but not this way..." He lifted you for a second, sending you to your back and pulling you to your knees. 

"I wanna see this perfect little ass..." He slapped you, leaving a pleasant sting as you pleaded, those pleas met with his firm thrust bottoming out once again. 

"Sorry if I hurt you, but I gotta come in this tight little pussy...and I need you to take it for me..." 

"God, Top! You're so deep!" 

"Fuck yeah..." He agreed, gripping deeply into your hips. "You're mine! Say you're mine!" 

"I'm yours!" You obliged. "I'm yours!" 

"This ass?" 

"Yours!" You whined, him slapping you again, harder than before as the sting was rubbed out by his kind touch before his hand guided you to lift by a pull of your hair. 

"These tits?" He squeezed your naked chest, made this way seconds prior to his words. 

"Yours!" You belted. 

"This sweet little pussy...this desperate little clit..." 

"All yours! I'm all yours!" 

"Yeah...yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah!" He spoke in repetition, rubbing your clit in desperation as you arched against his chest. Perfect thrusts, violent and thorough, pulled you both to that edge as the unison of names belted beyond the motions sent him to face him in a kiss. 

"You're gonna cum with me-Come!" He ordered, your body obeying immediately as those clenched walls were enough to pull his own orgasm, body's collapsing in an initial shudder before he helped you rest onto the bed. 

"Are you alright?" He asked, wiping your mutual slick from his cock, stained with the evidence of your virtue as he seemed unaffected at the detail verified to him. 

You nodded, his words softening your nerves that this was just sex to him. But even so, the way you we're spent by his body would aid this blow if that had been the case. 

"Here..." He had returned from the bathroom, warm rag mending any ache remaining between your thighs. 

"We should get you a drink..." He extended his hand as you blushed. 

"Unless you just used me for my body..." You both laughed as he drew his hand to his chest in feigned pain. 

"I...uh...I can't walk..." He chuckled, crawling over you on the bed. 

"Well...then you focus on getting on your feet and I'LL go get you a drink..." 

"You're coming back?" He was made upset by your words as he pressed a soft kiss to your lips. 

"If I would have known you wanted me, I would have stayed with you the first night we met...it's actually kinda funny...the only reason I got WITH Sarah was to distract myself from you..." 

You scoffed, disbelief cast over your expression as you pulled him back back to you, validating that you'd waited for the right person, at the right time. 

"But you...YOU are one hell of a distraction." He pulled apart just to speak as you. "But now you're mine." 

Taglist: @hopebaker @iovdrew @penny4yourthoughts @magnificantmermaid @pickingviolets @lovedetlost @trikigirl271

#outerbanks #outer banks #obx #obx fanfiction #netflix #outer banks smut #obxsmut #topper thornton #topperthornton #topper thornton fanfiction #obx fic #topper thornton smut #topper thornton x reader #topper thornton obx

[foundtherightwords]

The Quiet Chaos - Chapter 5

Pairing: Billy Knight (Lethal White/Strike) x OFC

Summary: After a bad breakup throws her carefully-planned life into disarray, Esme has sworn off dating forever. However, when she forms an unexpected connection with a young man named Billy, who's dealing with his own struggles, Esme is forced to face the truth: sometimes you can't plan for love.  

Warnings: mental health issues, angst, slow-burn, developing relationship, dysfunctional family, some violence (non-graphic), some smut (non-explicit)

Chapter warnings: awkward sex, discussion of self-harm

Chapter word count: 4.4k

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4

Chapter 5 - Dawn and Emerald

It was late, and the tube was packed with weary people coming back from their evening shifts. Esme felt sorry for them, for how downtrodden they looked, and was almost embarrassed for how happy she was. The return journey seemed longer than the journey to the allotment, but it was probably because she was so eager to get off, and so was Billy.

She leaned on his shoulder, her hand in his, their fingers all tangled up. Now and again, she would raise her head, and he leaned down to meet her halfway. Their lips brushed briefly. She wanted to pull him to her and feel his mouth over hers again, but their carriage was nearly full, and she didn't feel brave enough for a public make-out session yet, so she had to satisfy herself with those fleeting touches. Even then, they still made her feel absurdly giddy, like a teenager having her first crush. Not that I know what that's like. When I was a teenager, I was too busy making sure Sibby, Tiff, and Sam ate and bathed and did their homework.

When they reached their station, Billy pulled her back and asked quietly, "Are we going to your place, or mine?"

A thrill went through Esme. Is this really happening? She remembered having to Google "how many dates before you have sex" while going out with Neil, and being so confused because the results were so wildly different. Never would she dream, in a million years, that she would be going home with a guy at the end of their first date. OK, first official date, but still.

As she pondered his question, however, that thrill faded somewhat in the face of practicalities. "Mine is probably better," she said. "Not that there's anything wrong with your flat," she quickly added. "It's just... Angua's not allowed there."

"That's OK. I've always wanted to see where you live." He took her hand again, and they all but ran to her flat.

The moment the door shut behind them, Billy drew her to him, picking up where they'd left off, but Esme couldn't seem to rediscover the excitement she'd felt first in the greenhouse and then on the tube. Her insecurities were rearing their heads, reminding her of a million ways in which she was inadequate, in which this might turn out as disappointing as their botched first date. She extricated her lips from Billy's, muttering, "I thought you wanted to see the flat."

"Later." He peeled her jacket off, then his own.

"I have to give Angua some water—"

But Angua would not be used as an excuse. The moment Esme let her off the leash, the little dog trotted to her water bowl, which was already full, lapped up some water, and settled into her bed with a contented sigh and a sideway glance at them, as if to say, "That's it for me tonight. You crazy kids get on with it." Esme laughed helplessly and let Billy pull her back into his arms.

This could work, she told herself. This will work.

At least, it never felt this way with her exes. Sex with Marco was awkward and fumbling, both of them being too young and inexperienced to really know how to work with each other. Her casual dates were just that, casual. Neil was... adequate, but certainly he's never been such a blazing heat against her, nor has he ever slammed her into a wall so hard she could feel her spine tingling, while in search of the bedroom door.

"Um, Billy, that's the broom cupboard."

He buried his face in her neck, laughing. "Right. Sorry."

She steered him toward the bedroom. He reached for the light switch by the door, but she put out a hand to stop him. "Do you mind if we keep the lights off?" she said. That was how she had always done it, letting the dark hide her shyness and her imperfections, her too-small breasts, her flabby stomach, the weird stretch marks from puberty that never went away. It had annoyed Neil, who preferred to see what he was doing, to no end, but it'd annoyed him even more when she seized up under a bright light, so he'd let it slide.

There was still some light coming in through the window from the street, enough for her to see Billy frown briefly, but he shrugged, amenable as always. "Sure."

They found their way to the bed, and the rest of their clothes, whatever that hadn't been discarded already all over her living room and kitchen floors, came off. Esme ducked under the cover. A second later, Billy joined her, his hot body pressing down on her, his mouth dropping scorching little kisses down her neck, her shoulder, her breast, his callused fingertips running down her sides, rough yet gentle at the same time, sending trembles all over her. His frenzy, so different from his usual shy self, caught her off-guard.

"Have you been with—have you been with lots of girls before?" Esme asked.

"Does it matter?" he said, his voice muffled as he trailed his lips over her skin.

"No. I'm just wondering."

"There was one or two... but not like this. Not like you." His lips were on her again, and she realized she didn't mind it, didn't mind letting him sweep her away in a whirlwind of desire, of excitement, of things unknown but intoxicating. Her hips started to move under him.

But then Billy paused. She could feel his arms quivering as he held his body poised over her.

"Hold on... I think—I think we should slow down," he panted in her ear.

"I thought you said we would be at it all night," she whispered back with a giggle, rolling her hips more deliberately, rhythmically, pressing herself into his hand.

"More reason for—slowing down then—"

"But I don't want to slow down." She reached out, searching for him, guiding him to her.

Suddenly he wrenched away from her with a moan, and she felt something hot and sticky splash across her belly and thighs.

Billy dropped his head.

"Shit," he mumbled into her shoulder. "Shit, shit, shit. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

For what felt like an eternity, Esme could only lie there, motionless, while Billy said sorry again and again, his hands digging into her arms, his breath hot on her skin. Then she found herself thinking, as if her mind was somewhere outside of her body, And I just washed the sheets too.

The thought reminded her of practical matters. She shifted her hips, but Billy was pinning her in place. "I need to get up," she said.

He bolted up. "Sorry, yeah, sure..."

She gingerly lifted the duvet, sat up, and got out of bed.

"D'you need me to get you a towel or—"

"No," she replied, more sharply than she intended. "Just... no. It's fine."

She went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. The hot water did little good for her jumbled thoughts. Is it possible to die from embarrassment? Because she wanted to curl up inside herself and die, right now. Was it her fault? Had she pushed him too strongly? He had asked her to slow down, and she hadn't listened. It was their first date all over again. No, it was even worse, because she'd been so nervous about their first date that the disappointing end had been almost a relief, and at least she could blame Billy's hypomania for that. But this? After their first kiss, and all that passion, all the expectation... this was crushing.

Then she realized she's been focusing too much on herself. If this was such a blow to her, then how mortified Billy must be feeling. Oh God, what if he's left? Wrapping a towel around herself, she ran into the bedroom. No, he was still there, sitting at the end of the bed with his head in his hands. The despondent hunch of his shoulders sent a twinge through her heart.

"Saved you some hot water," she said, much more softly than before, and dug out a clean towel from her cupboard.

He looked at her, then at the towel in confusion. It took him a moment to realize she wasn't mad at him. He took the towel, mouthed "Thank you", and darted into the bathroom.

While waiting for him, Esme put on her pajamas and turned on the nightlight. Billy reemerged a few minutes later, the towel wrapped around his waist.

"Listen, Esme, I'm really sorry about—" he began.

Esme was about to interrupt and tell him there was nothing to apologize for, when she caught a glimpse of his chest. There was a large mass of scars right under his collarbone, above his sternum. This was the first time he appeared without a top in front of her, so she'd never seen them before. When they were in bed together, she had been too focused on his mouth and his hands and everything else to notice the bumps under her fingers. But now they were there, unmistakable, and there appeared to be a particular shape to them...

She turned on the big light so she could examine the scars more clearly. Billy saw her eyes widen and attempted to cover himself with his hand, unwittingly repeating the nose-to-chest tic that she now recognized always surfaced whenever he was stressed or upset. But the gesture wasn't enough to cover the scars. She had seen. The scars were in the shape of a horse. No, not just a horse. The Horse. The Uffington White Horse.

"What happened?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper.

Billy reluctantly dropped his hand. "... I did it."

She stared at him in horror. "What?!"

"A few years ago, I had a... psychotic break. It was bad. I cut myself. I don't remember why. I don't even remember doing it. I just... had to."

Tears welled up in Esme's eyes, blurring the shape of the Horse. Now she knew why he had fled at the sight of her necklace. What happened to him on that hill that haunted him so? She couldn't envision what horrors he'd been through, what pain he'd endured. She was only aware of the aching gulf between them, filled with those unknown things. How could she ever hope to cross that gulf and reach him?

"Please don't cry." He lifted his hand as if to wipe away her tears, but it seemed he couldn't bring himself to cross the gulf either. "I didn't mean to make you cry."

Esme shook her head. "You're not making me cry," she said. "I'm crying for you. There's a difference."

"How?"

"When someone made you cry, that's because they're hurting you. When you cry for someone, that's because you love them." She didn't know where those words came from. They sounded like something in one of her mum's sappy books.

Billy gazed at her for a long moment. "Does that mean you love me?" eventually he asked.

She paused, not knowing how to answer. Instead, she reached out to touch the scars, lightly brushing her fingertips over them. And then, because touching was not enough, she leaned down and kissed them.

Billy sucked in a breath. "Esme, I can't—" But she kept the kiss tender, not sensuous, and a second later, she straightened up. He was looking at her, his lips quivering with things unsaid, his eyes sparkling with tears, looking so vulnerable that she took him in her arms, rocking his head on her shoulder. "It's all right," she murmured soothingly. "We don't have to do anything if you're not ready. Just stay with me. If you want to," she remembered to add.

He did want to stay. Soon they were nestled next to each other in bed, her arms around him, her head on his shoulder. Esme again rethought her idea of a first date. This is nice too, she decided, as she fell asleep to the sound of his soft snores, feeling his breath on her hair.

***

It must be quite early—the window was still dark, though there was a grayish quality to the darkness that told her morning was close—but something had woken her up. Then Esme realized it was Billy, lying on his back next to her, groaning and thrashing in the throes of a nightmare. She knew better than to try and wake him up in this state, so she rolled him to his side instead. As she did so, Billy's eyes popped open, huge and haunted, looking at her without seeing her. "Dawn?" he said.

She didn't know whether he was asking for someone named Dawn or whether he thought she was Dawn or whether he was asking if it was dawn, but now was not the time to ask. "Shh, it's OK," she whispered. "You're having a nightmare." His eyes closed then, and he slipped quietly back to sleep.

However, sleep eluded Esme, whose head was filled with questions about the mysterious Dawn. Of course, she had no illusion that Billy had never been with anyone before—he had told her as much. And it did not matter anyway. But if this Dawn meant so much to him that he called out for her in his sleep, she'd want to know.

The next morning, over breakfast, she asked, keeping her voice nonchalant, "Who's Dawn?"

Billy looked up from his toast. "Where'd you hear that name?"

"You had a nightmare and called me Dawn."

"Did I?" His fingers tapped the jar of strawberry preserve, a ghost of his tic. "God, I haven't thought of her in years."

"Who is she?" Esme repeated, a touch impatiently now.

"She's my—um, my brother's wife. Well, ex-wife."

"Your brother?"

"Jimmy."

Presumably, this was the same Jimmy that frightened young Billy with tales of the dog-meat curry. Another puzzle piece fell into place.

"I used to stay with them sometimes, when my dad—when I first came to London," Billy continued. "She's a lot older than Jimmy, I think, and Jimmy's a lot older than me, so she's more like an aunt. But she was kind to me. I used to have these nightmares about—" Again, there was a pause, and a correction—"nightmares like you wouldn't believe, and she would calm me down. But Jimmy got angry with me for telling her about the Horse. So I left to share a flat with some mates, and then Dawn and Jimmy split up. I never saw her again." There was a wistful note in his voice. "She's the closest thing to a mum I ever had."

"Where's Jimmy now?" Esme asked.

"Prison," Billy replied, and said no more.

How silly of her, to feel jealous of Dawn! There was another stab of pain in Esme's heart, not just for Billy, but also because with each of his reveals, the gulf between the two of them seemed to be gaping a little wider. How could she be there for him, when he spoke of things she could never imagine, no matter how many books and articles and studies she read? How could she support him when she didn't know what he was going through? She reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze, an inadequate gesture compared to his pain. He smiled at her, but even that smile could not drive away the fear that one day, all her tears and kisses and touches would not be enough.

But Esme tried to ignore that fear and continued seeing Billy. She no longer fretted about what to do for their dates. They still met every Saturday to walk the dogs at the rescue center. When they didn't have the late shifts, he would come to her flat for dinner and stay the night. During her lunch breaks, Esme would bike down to Asda or the woodworking studio so they could have lunch together on the river bank. She discovered her love for flea markets again while scouring them for things to brighten up Billy's flat, and Billy would sometimes accompany her as well—much like herself, he didn't mind crowds as long as he didn't have to interact with them. But most of the time they just stayed home, cooking and eating and reading and going to bed together.

They had yet to try having sex again, though Esme had gone to her doctor to refill her birth control prescription and to make sure everything was good to go. Sometimes, when Billy spent the night, she would wake with his hand on her breast and the hard ridge of his arousal behind her, but then he would also wake, go crimson, and turn away or even jump out of bed. If she hinted that they might have another go at it, he would try to deflect, and it turned into the most awkward back-and-forth of "We don't have to if you don't want to" and "If you don't mind that I don't want to". In the end, Esme decided to just drop it. It made Billy uncomfortable, and she, in turn, would feel bad about making him uncomfortable, so why put more pressure on both of them? Of course, if the timing was right... but she never did have good timing. So she just learned to take things as they come and not to think too much of the future.

She also learned that it was OK to ask a lot of questions, and to talk, and to listen. Billy had good days and bad days, and she learned not to take his bad days personally. If anything, the bad days helped her to treasure the good days even more, made every moment they spent together even more precious, and gave special meanings to the simplest of things, like falling asleep next to him and waking up, knowing he was still there.

***

That Sunday, the flea market in Camden was quieter than usual. The colder weather might have something to do with it, but Esme didn't mind as she linked arms with Billy and strolled through the stalls, stopping at whatever caught their eyes. Seeing a table full of used books, they both navigated toward it without a word, and grinned at each other when they noticed their synchronized steps.

A crate of brightly-covered children's books stood in front of the table. To Esme's horror, she recognized them. A box containing similar books was currently gathering dust in her storage shed. With a glance at Billy, who was digging through the stacks next to her, she tried to nudge the crate out of the way, but her movement only drew Billy's attention. He saw the author's name. "Ivy Pendergast... Hey, she has the same last name as yours! This isn't your mum, is it?"

Of course, she had told him that her mum was a writer and illustrator of children's books, as well as other basic facts—her dad was a glass artist, she grew up in Kent, and she had three younger siblings, Sybil, Tiffany, and Sam. Billy had raised an eyebrow at that and said, "They really do like Discworld, don't they?" (they had been reading the books together—well, rereading for Esme—and Billy was really getting into the City Watch, because, as he said, he liked stories about crime-solving), and Esme had nodded in mock weariness. But there were still things she hadn't told him, and now she silently cursed her dad for not having a more common last name, and her mum for taking that last name when they married, despite all her feminist ideals. I could lie. But he's bound to find out sooner or later. Better get this over with.

"That is my mum, actually," she mumbled.

Billy flipped through the content of the crate with interest. "Emerald Saves a Grasshopper," he read out loud. "Emerald Saves a Lizard. Emerald Saves a Fox."

Esme closed her eyes, praying that he wouldn't put two and two together. After all, not a lot of people know Esme is short for Esmeralda, and even fewer know Esmeralda means Emerald in Spanish.

But apparently Billy was one of those people. "Emerald?" he said. "Esmeralda? It's you, isn't it?"

Esme nodded, smiling to hide her pained expression. "She started writing them when I was about three. They were all quite simple at first, but then she ran out of animals, and now it's Emerald Saves a Lesser-Spotted Blue Tit and Emerald Saves a Mantis Shrimp and God knows what else. It'll be Emerald Saves an Amoeba next, probably."

He grinned. "So she just saves animals?"

"It's for kids age 5 and under, Billy, they don't need a plot. She saves other things too, but they're not as popular as the animal ones... What are you doing?"

He was buying them. He was actually buying the books. God help me.

"You don't have to buy them, you know," she quickly said. "I probably still have a few boxes of them in the shed if you want. Signed, too."

"You should keep those. They'll be worth something in the future, right?"

"I doubt it. She's signed so many of them that the unsigned ones might be worth more."

Billy grinned again. After he'd paid for the books, he asked, "Why didn't you tell me that your mum's books were based on you?"

Esme just shrugged. The truth was that, by the time she started school, they were no longer based on her. What she didn't tell Billy was that before growing up in Kent, she had grown up in a lot of other places as well, with the five of them—Sam hadn't been born at that point—crammed into one tiny camper van. It was the best day of her life when her dad decided to become a glass artist and realized you couldn't set up a kiln in a camper van. Nor did she tell him that her parents were always too busy with their creative endeavors to actually parent, and it fell to her, as the eldest, to give her younger siblings some sort of routine and structure in their day-to-day life. While Emerald was saving all sorts of cute animals and having adventures, Esme had to save her siblings from getting into scraps and falling behind in their classes. She grew to hate those books.

She didn't tell Billy any of it because she realized, compared to his nightmarish childhood, hers was practically idyllic. She knew how terrible it would sound if she complained to him that she'd had to take care of her siblings growing up, when he'd grown up motherless, beaten by his father, and abandoned by his brother. And so she kept silent.

At the same time, she would love for her family to meet Billy. They all disapproved of Neil, but she knew they would adore Billy. And he would adore them, provided that they didn't stress him out too much. She only hoped her relationship with Billy had reached a point when it was appropriate to introduce him to her family (why isn't there a guide to such things?)

"What are you doing for Christmas?" she asked one night while they were in bed, Feet of Clay propped up on her knees. Christmas was still a few weeks away, but knowing Billy (and herself), she thought she'd give themselves time to mentally prepare.

"Nothing, probably. Last year Jacob invited me to his house, but this year he's going to visit his daughter in Australia. You?"

"I have to work on Christmas Day."

"Bummer."

"I don't mind. Christmas is always a busy time. People don't pay as much attention to their pets, and they can get into all sorts of things. Someone has to hold the fort."

"I'll come by and keep you company."

"Ugh, stop being so stinking sweet, will you?" She leaned down and gave him a peck on the lips. Then, in a carefully casual manner, she said, "I'm going down to Kent to see my parents on Boxing Day though. Would you like to come with me?"

Billy sat up to face her. "You really mean it?"

"Yeah."

"Do they... what did you—I mean, how much did you tell them about me?"

"Not much, just that I'm seeing someone." She looked into his eyes. "Do you want me to tell them about your condition?"

He reached for her hand, clasping it tightly as if to stop his nervous tic, to anchor himself. "Would they... object, if they know?" he asked in a small voice.

"No," she said firmly. "And even if they did, it wouldn't matter to me." She lifted his hand and kissed his calluses. Billy's eyes softened. He tugged her forward until she landed on his lips.

"How did I get so lucky?" he whispered against her mouth.

But Esme had other things on her mind. "I have to warn you though, my parents are kind of... unconventional." She almost laughed at the understatement.

"I've gathered as much."

"No, honestly. For one thing, they don't celebrate Christmas."

"Are they Jewish or—"

"No, they just think it's too commercialized. When I was growing up, they would just give us presents whenever they felt like it. Only when my sisters and I moved away that they accepted that Christmas was one of the few times we could all get together, so they reluctantly agree to host it, but they still won't do any of the traditional things though. It's daft."

"I think it's cute."

"It may have been cute when we were kids, but not when we started going to school," Esme said with a humorless laugh. "Imagine having to explain to your classmates that you had no Christmas presents because your parents didn't feel like it."

"At least you had presents," Billy said quietly, and shame burned Esme's face. She was doing the very thing she had vowed not to do—complain about her parents in front of Billy. She kissed him again to distract from the offense.

"I'm just telling you so you won't have to worry about bringing presents or anything."

"OK, I won't." He kissed her back. "You can tell them about me. I don't mind."

Chapter 6

A/N: The detail about Billy carving the Horse into his chest was taken from the show. It didn't happen in the book, as far as I remember.

Taglist: @quinnypixie, @accidentalslag, @etherealglimmer

#billy knight #billy knight strike #cb strike #billy knight fic #billy knight x ofc #joseph quinn #joseph quinn fic #joseph quinn character #billy knight smut #joseph quinn smut

[loosingmoreletters]

🌩️ and/or ☔ for the wip game please!

☔Is there a fic concept you have that you'd like to just explain and share because you're not sure you'll ever write it? If so, what is it?

Oh gosh, I have too many fic ideas for MDZS but here is one: funky gender and pregnancy ahead.

LWJ returns from his travels with a beautiful woman. She’s strong and smart and when he asks permission to marry this Wen Ying, both his uncle and brother are unwilling to give permission.

You’re too young, she’s a Wen and worst of all - no Lan will have a fox bride.

But, well, LWJ is stubborn and his love dejected.

“I should’ve expected it,” they say. “I can turn myself into a woman, have Wen Qing adopt me into her sect and follow all those rules, your uncle barely took more than one look at me before he said no.”

What a fool Wei Ying had made of himself, thinking he might have a chance. But, well, Lan Wangji is stubborn, so in the morning, LXC sends out disciples to find his brother and his runaway fox bride, but for all sense and purpose, they’ve vanished into the wind.

Three years later, LXC sees his brother again, as he marches into the Lan camp with a Wen General’s decapitated head.

“They burned down our village when we refused to fight,” says LWJ, Hölle like he’s never been. “They killed my spouse and child.”

LXC pulls his brother close.

At the other war front, Jiang Cheng meets the brother he should’ve had. The last time JC had thought of him had been when rumors of the second Jade of Lan eloping with a fox broke through. His father grew sad then, spoke of the boy he couldn’t save. JC feels inadequate as a sect leader, but he hopes he can do his father proud in this. Wei Wuxian is a walking nightmare, has cultivated six blackened tails from the resentment of the dead. “Wen Chao took the three I had,” Wei Wuxian said. “I want his head and heart for my dead spouse and son.”

Jiang Yanli looks at him and thinks WWX needs help, JC thinks that perhaps he can do his father proud if he offers WWX a place in their sect, something to live for.

And then, there in the heart of Qishan, is Wen Ning. He lacks confidence, most of the time, so people think him incapable of lying, but he was taught to lie by the greatest performer of all. He does not remember the day his mother came home with an injured boy and offered him a place to stay, but he does recall the day WWX asked for etiquette lessons, and the day he returned home again with his fiancé and asked if they could hold a wedding there in Dafan, the money WN and his sister put aside for a marriage to Gusu Lan instead used for travels, and later fixing up a cottage to live in until the child would be born. The point is this: WN lies well when the situation demands it, so he lied about the child he pulled from the charred remains of his best friend’s home, claimed the kid as a direct cousin, instead of an adopted nephew. Now all he needs is to get him back to his parents.

Or: I really wanted a fic wheee wangxian meet early and wanna get married but there are enough objects for LWJ to leave his sect, but it escalates into “how long can two characters think they lost everything they loved.”

🌩️ Share something funny/cracky from your WIP.

From an Omegaverse, somehow T rated fic about bitching.

“The quicker you accept it, the easier it’ll be to deal with,” Jiang Cheng advised like a wise old mentor and not the younger brother he actually was.

Entirely unacceptable.

“I can fix this,” Wei Wuxian insisted.

And, despite knowing better, Jiang Cheng asked, “How? Lan Wangji can’t bitch you—”

Wei Wuxian paused in his splashing and raised his head just to see Jiang Cheng’s horrified expression. He couldn’t tell if that was because his brother refused to think about Wei Wuxian’s sex life, which was also what Wei Wuxian preferred, or because he’d hit the nail on the head. Wei Wuxian cackled.

#ask #mdzs #danmeiireader

[ilikekidsshows]

People said that there's a foreshadow that Nino will be a temporary black cat in s5 but it make me curious about how origin Nino do from being a black cat because pre-carapce Nino seems to be a bit of scaredy cat. 🤔

I’m combining these two asks for a more general overview of Nino’s compatibility with the Miraculous.

While Nino becoming the Black Cat ended up debunked before I could reply to this, I do think that Nino with the Black Cat could be interesting. It’s true that Nino isn’t the first one to try to jump an Akuma (that would be Kagami), but is that really fear or approaching a situation carefully? He stood by Alya and faced certain doom in what was basically a Zombie Apocalypse, and he kept fighting against Anansi to buy Ladybug more time even though he knew he was outmatched. Just because Nino doesn't forget that a situation is dangerous doesn’t mean he isn’t brave.

What I do think pre-Carapace Nino lacks is confidence, and it’s something that pops up even after getting a Miraculous. What really gets Nino off his usually unflappable cool is feeling inadequate or powerless. This is why he despises Gabriel so much, Gabriel has made him feel powerless to help Adrien repeatedly. We can also see this in how Nora really gets under his skin about not being strong enough to keep Alya safe. As Nino says, he would do anything for Alya, but can he do everything he wants to? This is where his hesitation when he’s first granted the Miraculous comes from.

Nino is someone I see liking the idea of being a hero. A Miraculous gives you real, tangible power to affect things and change them for the better as well as protect your loved ones. As such, Nino makes for an enthusiastic and determined hero. The one thing I could see as a weakness in any Miraculous combo for him is that he can’t compartmentalize at all. He can’t detach himself in his hero persona, which is why Alya recognized him immediately despite literal magic helping his disguise. But that's merely a complication in him being a hero, not in compatibility with any set Miraculous.

The most interesting thing about the enthusiastic, caring and determined Nino is that he became this way through knowing Adrien. The Nino we get introduced to in ‘Origins’ is apathetic, like he’s given up. This Nino probably had come to terms with his own powerlessness as a mere normal teenager. Then he meets Adrien and that’s no longer enough. Nino starts bucking against the injustice he sees, starts championing for Adrien to have it better.

As such, even if Nino was the one to get the Miraculous originally, before the character development of getting to know Adrien, Nino would be motivated by such a turn of events to be more outwardly against injustice. Add to that how Plagg gets revealed to have been mistreated by authority in the past, and Nino would also bond with his partner as more of that came into the light. Nino would consider the Guardians with even more irreverence than Plagg does or Adrien in canon. All that posturing the Bubbler does about unworthy adults has to come from somewhere, after all. Nino definitely has a bit of anarchism to him in his mistrust of authority.

Looking at Chris also gives us a bit of insight into what Nino is like as a role model. While we can’t attribute everything about Chris to his brother alone, Chris does exhibit a sense of fairness. Despite being really young and therefore prone to outbursts, Chris listens really attentively to all of Marinette’s explanations, and gives them consideration. He’s willing to follow Marinette’s “Christmas Rules”, even as he clearly wants to break them, hence looking for loopholes. Given Nino’s clear care towards his brother, the two do interact a lot so Nino might have been the one to teach his brother about fair play and honesty. At any rate, I don’t see the brothers having completely different views on fairness.

Nino’s big brother chops, in addition to his treatment of Alya and Adrien, also showcase why he could be trusted with the power of Destruction. I’ve repeatedly stated on this blog that Destruction is a power that lives up to its fullest potential as a hero power in the hands of someone who is kind and nurturing. Nino is very unlikely to use the Cataclysm carelessly, but, as I established earlier, he is also willing to take action despite any misgivings when he has the power to do so (and sometimes when he doesn’t). As such, Nino would be careful with the Cataclysm, but would still use it if the need arose.

Now, if Nino were to act as a temporary Cat Noir like Scarabella specifically, I think it would work best if Nino knew Adrien’s identity, or discovered it while being given the job. Because Nino, with his strong ideas about what is fair, would not want to use someone else’s Miraculous unless he was sure the other party was fine with it or there was a very pressing and very immediate catastrophe at hand. So Adrien giving his blessing for Nino to use his Miraculous would be for the best. And it would allow for Nino and Plagg to bond over their Chaotic Adrien morality alignment, which is the entire point of making this teamup happen post-Origins.

“Gabriel sucks.” “No disagreements here, dude.” “Wanna use the Cataclysm to total his car?” “...we can slash his tires.” “And maybe we can key his door while we’re at it?” “Well, he’s a rich jerk, so anything that’ll make him spend more money is okay in my books.” “Yes! Vandalism for justice!”

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous tales of ladybug and chat noir #nino lahiffe #ml meta #kwami compatibility

[where-theres-smoak-2]

The difference between Malina in the book version and the series is striking. In the book, they annoy me. They are toxic to each other from a strength. And Mal, in addition to being the least interesting character, and just plain boring, is a walking red flag in relational terms. Which makes him unbearable. Especially because he takes up too much space in the story and in Alina's head too... In the series, Mal is very much like a human being! Sometimes I even want to give him a big hug. But he's still a pretty boring character because he's only defined by Alina. Being a good person in fiction is not enough. You must have a real personality. But the Malina relationship for me is above all family. They're each other's family, and I can't see them growing into a great love story.

I agree with all of this. When it comes to ships I tend to react in a few ways, either I love them and they are my do or die like darklina for example, I think they are cute but I am not quite at the obsessed level like david and genya or I am indifferent to them, don't really care find them a bit boring, like show m*lina. It is very rare that I will hate a ship to the point of not being able to stand them, but book M*lina did that to me. I think it might actually be the first fictional relationship that I can say I hated. It was just so toxic but not in an interesting way it was just way too real, M*l often emotionally manipulated Alina, even going so far as cheating on her, he often made her feel inadequate and self conscious and the two of them just weren't compatible at all and I spent the whole book series just waiting for them to realise they didn't work and break up with each other, something that never happens. They were a large part of what made reading the books so unenjoyable for me.

When it comes to the show I do think M*l is a much more likeable character but unfortunately he is bland as they've wrapped up too much of his character into Alina and how his character relates to Alina he doesn't really get any story lines of his own. As you said being a good person isn't enough in fiction there needs to be more to his personality. I've used this comparison before but take Peeta Mellark from the Hunger Games for example, he is your typical nice/good guy, he is someone who has always been in love with Katniss and she has alot to do with what drives his character's motivation, but his character isn't solely wrapped up in Katniss, we learn more about him outside of her and he has his own story that is separate from her. I am really hoping that when it comes to M*l's character in the show they do develop and branch his character out more in season 3.

#anti malina #anti mal oretsev #shadow and bone #s&b season 2 spoilers #answered

[julliette17]

"You know who else needs a break? You, my nerdy little homie."

I think everyone can agree that Trent and Ben had a friendship we didn't know we needed. They had an entertaining, off-the-wall vibe but also opened up to each other in surprising ways.

That said, I do feel like they were a missed opportunity. Trent breaks up with Eleanor at the start of the season because of his insecurity and fears that he would hold her back. Ben also fumbles the bag with Devi because of his insecurity and miscommunication.

I liked the idea of Trent showing Ben how to sit back and breathe for a minute. Even more, I liked the idea of Ben showing Trent the value of working hard—much like what Devi did for Paxton in season 2.

Let's face it, both Ben and Trent needed to work on themselves before they could work on a romantic relationship. Unfortunately, I didn't feel like we saw much of that by the time we reach either character's endgame.

I thought that after his breakup with Eleanor, we would see Trent be forced to reevaluate his priorities and get his act together so that he wouldn't fail senior year (again). That would have made for a nice parallel with Paxton. Trent's not a main character, so I didn't expect it as a main storyline, but I thought his friendship with Ben was a prime opportunity to develop both of their arcs at the same time. Trent could have opened up to Ben about how he felt dumb and inadequate compared to Eleanor. This would give Ben the perfect opportunity to set aside his snobbishness to tutor Trent and support him as a friend. He could have helped Trent build confidence in his own work ethic and capability (again, those S2 Paxton & Devi parallels!), which would prepare him better for reuniting with Eleanor.

At the same time, Trent could have helped Ben find ways to relax without going over the edge and completely neglecting homework. I would have liked to see them both find a balance in work/fun. Plus, we all know Trent is the best hype man ever, and I think Ben needed more of that energy. I did love how Trent opened Ben's eyes to the need to confront his feelings and, you know, actually COMMUNICATE THEM. Ben's revelation came at a bad time, of course, but the point still stands that Trent encouraged him to talk and tap into his emotions. I would have liked to see more of that.

I'm thrilled that Trent and Eleanor got back together, and I liked Ben and Devi well enough that I was fine with their endgame... but I wanted more from both ships. I think Trent and Ben should have done more soul-searching beforehand, and I think they could have done that together.

#trent harrison #ben gross #never have i ever #benvi #trealanor #nhie #nhie spoilers #i hope it's clear how much i love ben and trent #even if i wanted more from their storylines #i'm not interested in shipping discourse #team devi won that's all that matters to me

[frozenambiguity]

Anonymous asked:

what's your opinion on a kaeya x vulnerability ship? 😇 (jmSORRYY)

Ooc; Why that, my dear friend, is easy to reply to. Get ready, because this is about to get lengthy. Kaeya's relationship with vulnerability has always been a topic I'm interested in.

Simply put, I adore it. I long for the day when Kaeya feels comfortable enough with himself and with others to truly allow the mask to fall. Whether that day will ever come, however... Well. That is an entirely different discussion altogether. It is not that Kaeya does not wish to be his true self around others — he desperately aches for it ( sometimes, even he gets tired of all the acting. Wouldn't it be nice to simply... be, for once? ).

But time and time again, it has been proven that being vulnerable may not be compatible with the person he is. Or, at least, with the person he has been forced to become. He has solid proof that being transparent and sharing his truest, deepest thoughts with others may not end in a positive outcome.

Simply observe what happened with Diluc. I'm using Diluc as an example because he has been the one Kaeya has felt closest and most emotionally connected to in all of his life. Telling Diluc the truth that day was an act of trust and vulnerability. One that nevertheless backfired.

Kaeya was at fault too, of course, but it is impossible to deny that what happened had an impact on Kaeya. It made him firmly decide to, metaphorically, lock all access to his heart and throw away the key in the ocean ( may the waves wash away his errors and keep all his secrets ). That night, and in the years to follow, Kaeya made a decision. And it will be hard to convince Kaeya otherwise, no matter how many valid arguments one presents.

If he ever was to open up to someone, truly open up to someone, chances are he would still feel... inadequate. Out of his comfort zone. Someone should not have to share his pains, insecurities, and fears. Kaeya's issues are his, and he does not wish to become a burden to someone else. In a way, he has come to the conclusion that aspects that could be considered negative are his to keep and others to be ignorant of.

Most often than not, he does not even think of giving another person the chance. He steals all their potential future agency by dictating the narrative and deciding what others should have access to in terms of knowledge.

That is also why, when Kaeya does act vulnerable with someone, he tends to immediately regret it. The first instinct he gets is to flee. To isolate. To pretend it did not happen. He may distance himself a bit for the days that follow, and that is clearly a response from someone who is suffering from trauma but does not quite know how to deal with it. And if the person he was vulnerable with happens to notice the shift in Kaeya's behavior and confronts him about it? Chances are he will downplay it. Like he always does. Which is, too, a coping mechanism.

Overall, I would love to see Kaeya act completely vulnerable with someone one day, but I find it difficult to imagine. Not impossible, but difficult. It is what he deserves, of course, but at the same time, he has locked himself in this mental cage of sorts. It is easier to deal with what is familiar than to take a risk, be vulnerable, and have it all backfire.

Regardless, if he was capable of putting his guard down and lowering his barriers, he would surely require a few things from his partner: patience and reassurance. Proof. Whether through words or actions, Kaeya has to know that his s.o. is 100% with him, through the good and the bad. He does not expect it or demand it from his s.o., so this is me breaking the 4th wall a bit here, but in order to truly take that extra step of trusting and confiding in someone, Kaeya needs reassurance. Otherwise, he will find himself wanting to go back to the good old toxic patterns I have described briefly above.

He has abandonment trauma and that makes him not want to share ugly sides and realities. After all, what if his s.o., too, ends up leaving him...? He thinks it is better to not entertain the idea at all. Which is why he can be considered as emotionally unavailable for the most part. Self-sabotage at its best.

#【 let me tell you a story | thoughts to be shared. 】 #【 isms | heart of the abyss. 】 #【 out of cryo 】