#which made it so obvious and i scolded him for abusing his powers | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

obeiii-mee · 3 years

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Can I angst for Mammon where he is in a really bad mood and his brothers are at it again calling him names. And already ask them kindly to leave him alone but they keep at it. And Levi says something and it's the last straw. The air around them get cold for a moment as he slowly looks up and he flat out threatens them to shut up before he puts them back into there place with a really dark and threatening voice, before leaving. And the look could rival Satan's or even Lucifers glare.

I think Mammon takes the abuse of his brothers but sometimes he isn't in the mood and want a little peace and it is very very rare for him to get pissed

Like he's the kind of person who would yell when he's upset but when he's down right pissed it's like really fucking scary

People forget that as much as he lets his brothers push him around he is still the second oldest and is powerful so 😬

Brothers+ undateables reaction

Mammon snaps:

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This is something I’ve mentioned in previous posts, but I basically second everything you said. I believe that Mammon dislikes getting into confrontations but isn’t by any means weak or stupid. He is the second eldest. However he is also, arguably, the one with the most self control out of them all. He has an overwhelming amount of patience when it comes to his siblings and I like to think he puts up with all of their insults because he loves them. Then again, it’s very possible for him to go berserk after years worth of build up.

Thanks for the request!!! I had a bit of trouble at first because I didn’t know how I was going to format it but I like the way it turned out so I hope you do too. Uhh also I reached my word limit writing this so I couldn’t include Simon, Luke and Solomon. I do plan on writing for them as well but at this point I’m just trying to get this done. Let me know if I made any grammatical errors! I double check my writing all the time but sometimes mistakes got over my head! The undateables are short because honestly I view the brothers as the ones who will suffer the most out of everyone. I hope you enjoy reading it anyway!!

•Characters: Lucifer, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Belphagour, Diavolo, Barbatos.

⚠️Warnings: Cursing, mentions of blood & gore and that’s about it.

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For the past few months, Lord Diavolo’s pleasure of hosting parties and inviting people over had become more and more noticeable. It was pretty obvious that the Prince was lonely, isolating himself from others due to the responsibilities he has as the heir to the throne and a leader in the making. Attending his gatherings seemed like a down right chore for most of the brothers but you never had any problem tagging along. Besides, it felt nice knowing he seemed you worthy of coming to such important meetings. Your seven demons were, of course, also invited and per Lucifer’s orders, they all got cleaned up and dressed in fancy clothing to impress the regals prancing about the castle. Though the outfits themselves came with their own set of problems. Levi’s was way too tight; the collar seemed to annoy him more than anything else, judging by the patches of red skin on his neck. Satan accidentally ripped one of the buttons from his jacket off in a fit of rage earlier that day and was now silently fuming while poking his finger through the hole he made. Even Asmo spilled some water on his shirt before they arrived, ruining his pretty pink suit! Not to mention Beel was munching on his tie, having last eaten about 15 minutes beforehand. Lucifer pulled it out of his mouth and scowled at the saliva stains that were left behind. Safe to say they were all in a miserable mood to begin with.

“I expect all of you to behave in a respectable manner,” Lucifer flicked Belphie on the back of the head just as he began dozing off, making the youngest growl at him. He shot Mammon an irritated look “I’m especially talking to you Mammon. Don’t try to steal anything or I’ll cut your hands off.”

“I told ya big bro, ya don’t have to worry about me! I’ll be a golden child today! Promise!” Mammon held up his pinky as if he was committing to some kind of oath. The eldest darkened his glare and opened his mouth to say something else, but you interrupted in hopes of avoiding any bickering that might’ve followed.

“Look, there’s our table! Let’s go sit down. Lord Diavolo’s speech is going to start any minute now.”

Beel leaped at the table as soon as he sniffed out the appetisers, which were neatly arranged on the expensive tablecloth, shoving at least half of them in his mouth by the time the rest of you caught up with him. Having been seated, you quickly glanced around the room in hopes of spotting Diavolo. You bumped into Solomon and the angels before entering the castle, chit chatting with them for a while about the event. Even now, Luke was excitedly waving at you from across the room, using both of his arms. However, Lord Diavolo and Barbatos were the ones in charge of this party and you were yet to see either of them.

Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Mammon eyeing the golden utensils laid out in front of him. Not the biggest of surprises really. Anytime Mammon sees something along the lines of gold, he can’t help but snatch it away. And there’s obviously so many valuables scattered all over the place, including the silverware that was proudly presented on every table. You sucked in a breath of anticipation when he reached for one of the spoons, only to exhale in relief when he placed it on the bridge of his nose, trying to balance it.

“MC, look at this!” He tapped your shoulder, as always wanting your full and undivided attention as he demonstrated his newfound skill. You giggled at his antics with fondness as he accidentally let the spoon drop with a clatter and a quiet ‘shit’ coming from him. Lucifer pulled on his ear, like a mother scolding her child and whisper-yelled at him to stop acting like an idiot. The only reason the oldest chose a sit right next to Mammon was to maintain order and peace. Basically, he did it for disciplinary reasons.

“I understand that being impertinent is your full-time job, Mammon but keep this up and I’ll throw you in Cerberus’ room. Let him do with you as he pleases.”

“Lucifer, it’s not a big deal-“

“Yeah, OK,” Mammon hissed, picking up the spoon from the recently polished floor with a slight grin that didn’t quiet reach his eyes “I gotcha. Can-“

“Speaking of Cerberus,” Levi suddenly piped in, no longer fussing about his collar or nervously twiddling with his thumbs because of the massive crowd of demons surrounding him “Didn’t you force me to walk him last week when it was your turn to do it?? I only agreed because you promised to buy me the newest Ruri-Chan limited edition body pillow that came out last Tuesday! And you never did! And now they’re out of stock, you scummy piece of-“

The third eldest would’ve leapt across the table and aimed for the throat if you hadn’t pressed a gentle hand against his chest, making him sit back down with a huff. People were starting to stare at the commotion coming from your table, turning heads and muttering between themselves. You were slowly dying from embarrassment by the way, since you guys definitely became the topic of conversation for the other guests. The brothers were being too noisy to even notice and Lucifer himself was too preoccupied to see the scene they were creating which made you further slouch down into your chair, silently hoping for the ground to swallow you whole. The night really wasn’t going as intended. You could hear Solomon laughing at the brothers’ antics from three tables down.

“I guess that’s Mammon for you,” Belphie yawned, barely raising his head from table “He lies everyday, all day. What exactly is new here? And that says something since it’s coming from me.”

“I apologised for that!” Mammon whined, referring to Levi’s accusation and choosing not to address Belphie’s insult “I was gonna buy it but then I realised I spent all my money earlier that week anyway so I couldn’t!”

“Perhaps that wouldn’t happen if you learned how to save the money you earn properly,” Satan muttered, sipping from his glass of whatever beverage he had snatched from the servants earlier “Not like you know how to earn money in any way besides stealing it.”

You watch as Mammon clenched his fist “Can we please just move on-“

“I can’t believe that I was cursed with this moron for a brother,” Asmo sighed, almost theatrically, as if he was performing. And, in a way, he was. People were getting really interested in the drama unfolding over there. It was making you even more anxious, all those eyes staring at you. The Avatar of Lust was leaning so much on his chair, you were sure he was going to topple over and at this point, you kinda hoped he would. Anything to stop this momentum of hatred aimed at Mammon “You’re always getting us in trouble, you know. Hmph, we can’t go anywhere with you Mammon! You always end up ruining it for us! With your stupid schemes and-“

“I’m hungry-“

“Not now, Beel!”

“Cutting him up into tiny pieces for the witches will always be an option,” Lucifer chimed in, smiling at the thought.

Mammon snapped his head upwards at that. It was such an abrupt reaction, it made you jolt a little in your seat. You couldn’t miss the tension radiating from him, how quickly his body stiffened and exactly how hard his hands were gripping the edge of the table. His brothers were still paying him no mind, blaming him for this and that under their breath or being silently judgemental in Lucifer’s case. You worried for him because Mammon rarely acted like this; feral, in a way. Just so you know, he definitely noticed it. The look of concern plastered all over your face. That’s the only reason he released the table from his vice-like grip and slouched back against his chair. Satan went quiet and was staring at Mammon in bewilderment.

He disliked the idea of you watching him lose control of himself. He was your guardian. Your first pact. It’s important to him that your relationship is build around a pillar of trust. And he can’t even expect you to trust him if he exposes you to his demon form every time something inconveniences him. Mammon would rather cease to exit than have you fear him. So he kept his breathing regulated as the fog cleared his mind. The Avatar of Greed isn’t an angry demon. Snuffing out the the flame of rage he had fanned up until then was relatively easy. He just needed to get through tonight, then he could go home and complain to you about it once he got out of his brothers’ earshot.

“Why does he get to spend so much time with MC anyway? He’d probably sell them for a few Grimm any time of the day, wouldn’t he? It’s so fucking unfair. He won’t change no matter what so why risk MC’s safety? I will summon Lotan on him if he starts getting on my nerves.”

It would be an understatement to say that those words rubbed Mammon the wrong way, judging by the lack of immediate response. It was unexpected for him keep his mouth shut at a time like this. What was even more unexpected was the abrupt, delayed reaction he had a few seconds afterwards, resulting in his chair being flung back about 5 feet in that general direction. The seemingly deafening thud it made when it collided with the floor echoed around the dining hall, bouncing off walls and whacking people over the heads with the aggression behind it. A moment of pure, indescribably loud silence filled the crowded space as everyone else stared in shock at their brother, mouths agape and eyes bulging out of their sockets. Mammon would’ve laughed at their faces if it weren’t for the circumstances leading up to that point.

“What gives any of you the right to treat me like some sort of punching bag?” Mammon drawled, accentuating his obviously superior nature to almost every single demon at that table. He laughed, in an oddly half hearted way, before his sea struck gaze landed back to his siblings “Do not try to push me into a corner, because I will not handle it well. You’ve been having a field day with me for centuries now and I’m starting to get really ticked off, ya know? But that doesn’t matter. What matters is that I’ve done everything in my power to keep MC alive for the past few months and y’all are acting as if I’m out here playing with their life. Complain about me all you want. But...” He thumped the table, loud enough to make all the noblemen in the room flinch.

“Don’t you dare insinuate that I would ever put MC in danger, willingly or not because I will rip out your insides and paint the walls of this palace with them while hanging your intestines from these chandeliers. I will pluck your hairs out one by one, then your nails, then your eyeballs and then your teeth. You’re the ones that have put MC in danger’s way time and time again in the past few weeks, and you’re out here trying to suggest that I would even think about hurting them? Unlike every single one of you, who almost killed my human-you’re lucky I don’t have your fucking heads.”

He smashed his fist into the table again, using even more of his strength this time and effectively breaking the whole thing, the wooden legs giving out and shattering into thousands of splinters. Mammon spoke again, his voice lowering “MC forgave you. I didn’t. And I have no reason to. Not with how you’ve been treating me.”Once he spit that out, Mammon turned on his heel and left, slamming the door shut behind him hard enough to shake the whole building, leaving his siblings in dazed awe.

......

Even more silence. For some reason, all of the brothers at the now broken table ended up looking your way, silently questioning what they should do. It often ended up like this

You gave them all an unimpressed stare and a half-assed shrug “Don’t look at me. You guys fucked up.” Before sliding out of your seat and following Mammon out of the castle, sending an apologetic smile to Diavolo on your way out. Hopefully, you could manage to calm him down before everyone else gets home otherwise this might drag on for a while.

Lucifer:

-In all honesty, he probably saw the signs from a mile away and still decided to ignore them

-Maybe because he believed they weren’t being all that harsh on him, even if in Mammon’s eyes they were

-‘Harsh’ in Lucifer’s vocabulary usually means being hanged upside down from a ceiling or publicly executed, not a couple of mere insults

-Not to mention the eldest had always been horrible at communicating with his brothers when it came to emotions

-Despite Mammon clearly suffering from the treatment he received from his brothers, Lucifer refuses to believe he’s the root of the problem

-As the Avatar of Pride, he always had a hard time realising that all those words and the constant teasing, which he deemed to be pretty harmless, scarred Mammon a lot more than expected

-Once he actually comes to that conclusion, and after getting over the initial shock, Lucifer would probably feel the guiltiest out of them all

-Being the eldest means he carries quite a few burdens on his shoulders as most responsibilities fall on him due to his prideful nature

-He would blame himself for Mammon’s outburst simply because he’s the older brother and he should’ve known better, not just because he sees how a big of a role he played in all of this

-Usually, if his brothers do something bad, then he’s there to fix it within hours, that’s how it always worked

-Except he doesn’t know how to fix this exactly

-The problem is he has no idea how to approach Mammon after that sudden meltdown and he has no idea how to talk it out with him because he sucks at expressing himself verbally

-And since this took place in a public space, Lord Diavolo’s Palace no less, he felt really conflicted on what should have been done at that moment in time

-There was a lot of frustration, embarrassment and confusion in him for a good five minutes after Mammon slammed that door shut behind him and even after he gathered his thoughts together, he was still in shock for the rest of the night

-In any case, the whole event was promptly cancelled and everyone ended up going home earlier than expected, after Lucifer apologised to Diavolo about the spectacle they created (several times)

-When they finally get home, he decided to give Mammon his space instead of trying to knock at his door and instead went back to his room

-He knows they will need to solve this matter soon but there’s no way Mammon will want to see, let alone talk, to any of them just yet

-He’s sort of hoping he can apologise best he can next morning at breakfast, cross his fingers and wish for the best but judging by the venom that laced Mammon’s voice the night before, it’s not likely he will forgive any of them that easily.

Levi:

-If I were to guess, he saw the ending credits of his life flash before his very eyes as soon as those words left his mouth

-Levi felt a panic in him like never before, not even while playing his engaging horror visual novels at 3am in complete darkness or that one time he used Lucifer’s credit card to buy merch before being found out

-Must’ve forgotten his brother technically ranks higher than him on the power scale for a second there

-Or maybe he didn’t think his insults were going to affect him much

-They usually don’t

-Or at least that’s the impression he’s been under for a while now

-Mammon doesn’t snap easily under pressure but Levi must’ve really hit a nerve there that night

-While everyone was sitting in a short silence after Mammon left the building, he started twiddling with his fingers again the more he thought about it

-Because now he went from nervous to fucking terrified of what the hell was waiting for him when he finally got home

-He does feel guilty, nowhere near as much guilt as Lucifer feels but still pure shame

-However most of that guilt is swallowed by a steady fear and the constant worry of ‘how do I stop my brother from killing me?’

-Unlike Lucifer, I honestly don’t see him taking any sort of initiative when it comes to apologising to Mammon

-Not even because he doesn’t want to, but he would freeze up if he were to come face to face with him after that incident and then scamper back to his room like a rat in hiding

-So without your help, it’s likely the two won’t be speaking to each very soon which can honestly make life at the House of Lamentation so much more miserable

-In the end, if either you or Lucifer forced him to, he would say sorry by selling some of his merch and then giving him the profits (in secret but we all know it’s him)

-That is a big sacrifice on Levi’s part considering how precious his merchandise is to him

-But the idea that he’s gonna get murdered in his sleep by his older brother was getting a tad too real

-Besides, Mammon is still his brother and if he has to sell a couple of items in order to make him less mad, he would do it, albeit with a bit of grumbling

-Despite that, Mammon still refuses to come out of his room and sort of relies on you to bring him food because he doesn’t want to see his brothers

-Levi and Mammon would probably have to rebuild a lot of their relationship after this but it could easily take months for that to happen since Levi is too terrified to look him in the eye and Mammon is too upset to even hear his voice

Satan:

-He wouldn’t be the Avatar of Wrath if he couldn’t spot the anger within someone from a mile away

-He’s always been able to recognise the fury building up inside of him so for Satan it’s second nature to just know when someone’s on the brink of snapping

-It’s no surprise to say that he probably noticed Mammon’s wrath spilling out before anyone else did

-But alas, he realised it too late

-If he had reacted quicker, maybe he would’ve been able to diffuse Mammon before he exploded on them. Or not

-It’s difficult to tell if he could’ve actually helped because who was he to tell Mammon to calm down??? If anyone told him that while he was throwing a fit, he would probably break their necks-

-In the end, he just pressed his lips into a straight line and watched his brother throw his chair across the room

-Not gonna lie, he found it a bit entertaining purely because of the look on Lucifer’s face

-Satan had to try really hard not to crack a smile because he knew Mammon would probably smash a glass against his head or something

-Even so, he was the first to stand up and offer to go after him, though he wasn’t sure he could do much consoling

-Being so experienced with anger meant that he knew Mammon had built himself into a rage that he won’t be able to escape out of too easily

-Which is why he advises Lucifer to give Mammon his space once they get home

-Overall, the most understanding out of all of the brothers

-At this point in time, probably the least judgemental out of everyone and once Mammon comes out of his room for the first time in a while, either him or Beel is going to apologise to him first

-He may push and push him alongside the rest of his siblings but I feel like Satan doesn’t want to reach a certain low, like cornering Mammon into the frenzy he had that day ever again

-He might get pissy with him if he’s being too stubborn to forgive anyone after coming down from his intrusive thoughts

-And he really hates that Mammon had to remind them about all the times you had nearly died because of them, because he knows they won’t be able to make it up to you so why is Mammon upset about this????

-But he will try to maintain respect for his older brother from then on

-Even if the sharpest of remarks is on the top of his tongue!

Asmo:

-Asmo is the type to laugh it off and then start feeling really upset about it later on, the longer he thinks about the whole thing

-After Mammon storms out, he just assumes it’s another one of those ‘Mammon’ things and tried to brush the feeling of unease off him

-Even so, later that night the memory of Mammon kept coming back to him while he laid in his bed, unable to have a nice rest for the first time in how long? He’s always been really strict about his sleeping schedules after all

-Asmo’s observant, almost on par with Satan himself when it comes down to it. He definitely saw the gleam of anger, pent up frustration and hatred in his brothers’ eyes that moment and it legitimately scared him, even if it was for just half a second

-Honestly, he begins neglecting himself out of anticipation and worry which is a huge red flag for the Avatar of Lust who always holds himself at such a superior level compared to everyone else

-It may start out slow, but it has the same effect as a snowball rolling down the hill. It becomes more of a problem the longer it’s ignored

-Because he spends most of his days now debating whether he should try to coax his brother into coming out of his room and apologising to him, he forgets about himself

-Skincare routines are missed, pedicure appointments have been cancelled; hell, if Mammon’s keeps being stubborn, he may let his hair become absolutely filthy

-Asmo sort of relies on his brothers to provide the living environment he revolves around. If something is off with his brothers, he can not work properly either because it doesn’t feel right to do so

-Imagine a machine not working anymore because one of the clogs in it got stuck

-I can see Asmo feeling a decent amount of guilt when it comes to the situation but he still blames Levi for completely pushing him over the edge at dinner

-So now those two aren’t talking (it’s honestly so exhausting since they’re shoving the blame onto each other without stop)

-If Mammon decides to come out and hear them out, Asmo might get on his knees and beg because that guilt bubbling up inside of him may end up being his demise

-No seriously, MC might need to keep an eye out on him too while comforting Mammon because whatever he is doing isn’t healthy

-Takes Mammon’s outburst pretty badly and tries apologising to him many times but the second eldest still hasn’t said a word to any of them

-And that’s driving him into a fucking swirl of insanity at this point

-Of course, much like Mammon’s mental breakdown, this builds up over time but the result can be devasting

-If you pass by his room at night, you could probably hear him sob about how his brother hates him and it’s really heartbreaking to hear pained cries like that coming from such an overly confident demon like Asmo

Beel:

-Literally the only one here that doesn’t dish out insults onto Mammon every hour of the day

-He joins in very rarely and even when he does, it’s usually in good nature rather than malice

-Unless food is involved. Feelings (and Mammon) might be hurt if that’s the case

-Beel wasn’t listening to his siblings as they were diminishing Mammon, he was way too hungry to comprehend what the hell they were on about

-So he just started wolfing down appetisers until he noticed you looking all weary

-That’s the first thing that put him on alert

-And then the second born’s aura was also...off putting

-Might’ve actually tried to nudge Belphie to stop him from saying anything offensive to Mammon in this state when he realised how tense the atmosphere got

-Flinched when his brother left the palace, almost cracking the whole doorway on his way out

-Hunger is all but gone and at this point he wants to go home to check up on him

-Beel is a bit of a softie and he wears his heart on his sleeve a lot of the times

-He never did anything particularly bad to Mammon, not on the same scale his brothers did certainly and yet he still felt extremely bad

-Perhaps because he didn’t step in as much as he should’ve...?

-Either way, when his loved ones suffer, he has a tendency of putting the blame on himself because he feels it’s the only logical answer

-Honestly, he feels guilty enough to the point where it’s affecting his eating habits-which is obviously not normal for the Avatar of Gluttony

-Beel knows Mammon doesn’t want to talk to him but he still brings him food and leaves it at the doorstep of his room since he doesn’t want to come out and have dinner with them

-Or he relies on you to give it to him

-The thought of Mammon being so mad at them that he doesn’t even want to eat makes him feel so vulnerable

-As soon as he sees him for the first time since that night, he will probably be the first to apologise, even if Mammon isn’t in the mood to hear apologies

-Again, he’s trying to use food to make up to him (bringing him his favourites and paying for them)

-Even if he gets ignored, he’s still going to do it

-Beel is trying his best to say sorry to his older brother the only way he knows how to do so, but Mammon still doesn’t give in

Belphie:

-Could’ve been asleep the whole time Mammon was thrashing about

-Or at least that’s what it looked like to the average passer-by

-Kept one eye open to watch as Mammon finally snapped under pressure, having to raise his head once his brother broke the whole god damned table

-“OK, alright, storm off I guess-I have a splinter now-“

-Don’t trust that sarcastic commentary, he’s in deep thought on the inside

-Maybe he should’ve expected this but then again, he never would’ve guessed Mammon had it in him to be so aggressive

-Will narrow his eyes at him when he talks your death and scowl

-As if he didn’t already feel like the world’s biggest piece of shit, he had to bring that up

-As soon as he leaves, he turns to Lucifer and goes “See what you did? You broke Mammon. You suck, Lucifer.”

-The shifting of blame suits Belphie really well (it takes Beel side glancing him to get him to shut up)

-The Avatar of Sloth is too tired to even try to communicate with his brother so he goes straight to bed after getting home

-However, he actually visits Mammon’s dreams that night

-Or at least tries to, if Mammon is getting any sleep after that showdown

-It’s his way of checking in with his brother, helps him evaluate the situation

- Whether that works or not, there was definitely an attempt that required a lot of effort and you don’t see that very often with Belphagour

-It really demonstrates how much he actually cares for his family, even if he hides behind snide remarks and the likes of it

-However, if Mammon refuses communication, then he can’t do anything but give up

-He clearly won’t be able to convince him to step aside for a chit chat and why waste energy trying to force him to do so

-When the time comes, Belphie knows his brother will willingly talk to him (or at least someone else because he knows he’s not any good at comfort or apologies)

-At the same time, a lot of the things Mammon said during that party rubbed him the wrong way and seeing his twin suffer because of it is also pissing him off so patience may be running thin with Belphie

-Like Levi, there may be a lot of ice between the two from then onwards so it won’t be easy for them to find the middle ground in this whole argument either

-It could lead to a strained relationship if no one intervenes or even a physical fight if the youngest pushes all of Mammon’s buttons properly

Diavolo:

-The Future King feels guilty too, for some reason

-He is clearly not involved but he’s under the impression his party was a catalyst of sorts to the fight that broke out that night

-Diavolo wasn’t even in the same room when it happened-he heard shouting and growling from next door whilst talking to a noble about future arrangements in DevilDom and rushed in

-The sight was something to behold really; Mammon cornering all of his brothers and threatening them with pure venom in his voice wasn’t something you saw everyday

-More often than not, it was the other way around so the Prince had every right to be concerned

-He tried asking Lucifer what was going on after the second eldest slammed the door shut behind him and left but to no avail; the Avatar of Pride was in a state of shock and the only thing he did was apologise to him about a million times before his departure with the rest of his siblings

-Despite his worry, Diavolo tried not to get involved in the aftermath either, believing it’s not his place to interfere and hoping they would solve it out amongst themselves

-He did give Mammon permission to miss RAD classes for that week, thinking a small break is what he needed most

-Even drops by every now and then to check up on him (he just asks you how he’s holding up because he doesn’t want to pry)

-He can’t do much but watch from the sidelines, I mean this is a family dispute so it would be wise to just give them all a bit of space

-If it drags on for too long, however, he will be forced to do something because the brothers are all distracted and can’t get on with their student council work because of it

-Lucifer is even more stressed than usual and can’t even focus during their meetings so for the sake of his friend, if nothing gets resolved quickly, he will intervene and it won’t be pretty

-For now, he’s counting on you to make sure there are no further incidents but it’s unlikely you can stop a train once it’s set in motion so just hope Mammon doesn’t come out of his room until he’s calmed down

Barbatos:

-The butler is a Time Lord so it’s probably no surprise to find out he already knew this was going to happen eventually

-Not like he believed Mammon was going to take his brothers’ insults for much longer anyway

-Being the quiet and observant demon he is, he’s been keeping a close eye on the Avatar of Greed knowing damn well he was going to lose his patience soon enough and go on the offence

-If he knew this was going to happen at such an important moment in time, he would’ve warned his majesty beforehand but he failed to see the potential catastrophe awaiting his breakdown

-Again, he has no right to intervene

-Unless, of course, Lord Diavolo asks him to do so but really the most he can do is give you tips on how to deal with miserable demons

-I mean, you’re the one that’s going to be stuck with them for the rest of the year and this isn’t the type of conflict that gets resolved too easily

-Barbatos is clever so if there is still bitterness between Mammon and his siblings after an amount of time passed, he might try to change timelines (with the permission of Diavolo)

-He’s had enough of Beel coming over to eat his cakes and cry about his older brother hating him (believe it or not, the butler is definitely a bit fond of the sixth eldest so his cries did pull at his heartstrings)

-Basically, in the same position as the Prince

-He relies on you to get them all to make up but he knows it’s not likely to happen any time soon

-For now, he’s getting ready for the chain reaction this fight set in motion because there was no easy way to end this, considering they’re all vicious demons and all

—————————————————————-

Al~ im mad I couldn’t add Simon, Luke and Solomon-I want to write for them too >:(

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papergirllife · 3 years

Text

Chapter 1

Synopsis:

You don’t know what it’s like to be free, to make your own choices, and live your own life. For your whole life, your parents have been treating you like a puppet on strings, controlling your life to every single detail, as well as ignoring the fact that you have feelings. Other times, when you disobey their wishes, or speak up about your own opinions, they bash you down with words, in other words, psychological abuse, has led you down the long winded road of depression and anxiety. What happens when you meet a man who’s willing to be your guide out of this terrible downpour? Would you give a shot at happily ever after?

Warnings:

big age gap (kinda?)

issues on anxiety

issues on depression (mild)

issues on parental abuse

smut (maybe)

Tag List: @etherealtyjaem (lmk if you wanna be on the list)

It has always been like this, being locked up in the study room so you could ‘study’ for hours end, or that’s what they think you’re doing. You studied in an elite academy with your smart cousins, only to have you graduating with average grades, which of course, earned you a harsh scolding from your parents. Now, you’re supposed to be studying business for university, even though you had zero interests in it, the subject is fine, it’s what you’re studying it for that irks you. Your family runs a business in Seoul, but from what you can see by secretly skimming through the files as well as the arguments behind shut doors with your aunts and uncles, things aren’t going as planned.

You don’t have many friends, nor a phone, they took it away from you when you wanted to go out with some friends, claiming that it’s a distraction that should be locked away. You felt like Rapunzel, locked away from the world, they don’t have any love for you, you’re quite sure they don’t, they had once slapped your face ten times when you had a boyfriend behind their backs, and you were 15 for god’s sake, along with other things that you rather not say, you don’t want to relive all those painful memories.

Sometimes you wished you could go back to the time when you were a child, when you were at your grandparents’ in the morning, her warm smile and loving eyes, when you didn’t know what laid ahead. You wish you hadn’t realised that you were being abused, you used to think what you went through was the same for other kids as well, until you talked about it with other people and scared them away from you. The painful memories sinking back in made the words in front of you blurry as you felt tears seeping in your eyes.

Depression.

It’s deemed as something ridiculous in your family, and that people who are suffering from it are weaklings and don’t deserve anything from this society.

‘Does that mean I’m weak?’

You never went to therapy nor took any medication for your mental illnesses, and recently the development of anxiety attacks are constantly putting you on edge. You have them at least once a week, sometimes you even had problem breathing, but you couldn’t tell anyone about it, nor anyone would ever listen to your cries of help.

“We’re going to help sell your uncle’s house this Saturday,” your mother said as she was folding the clothes.

“The mansion he recently bought?” you asked, confused as to why he would sell the mansion he was obsessed with just two months ago.

“Yes, he bought that without our permission back then, so now we need to sell it for funds, and you need to be there to entertain the potential buyers, give them a tour around the house and other enquiries. You have to direct them to us if you think they’re truly interested, it’s going to be an open house concept party,” cold, that’s how your mother sounded, her claims of putting family above everything else flying out of the window whenever her demands are not met.

“Okay, is there anything else?” you asked, hoping to be excused as soon as possible.

“No, you can continue your studies in the study room.”

That’s what basic communication is in your life, you tried talking about your interests, your opinions, but they either fall on deaf ears, or you would receive a lecture for having a ‘false perspective’. You’ve given up on talking to them about things that are going in on your life now, they don’t listen anyways.

The party is filled with old men with their muffin tops waddling around with a wine glass in hand and talking obnoxiously loud, obviously having too much money to go by, looking at how overly filled their bellies are.

You tried hiding away in the house, but your family kept pushing you out to talk to them. Their stares were not intimidating, no, but it made you feel uncomfortable as their gazes linger a bit too long on your legs or anywhere else, and the way they didn’t want to let go after they shook your hand, made your anxiety levels rise to the roof.

You would find random excuses to run away, like going to refill their glass or saying you need to use the loo, your heartbeat going as fast as your legs could take you away from them.

When you came back out from hiding for the 6th time, both your parents were rushing you to meet someone new.

“He’s a man of great fortune and power, so the chances of him buying this house is high. Don’t try to hide from this one, or you’ll get it when we get home,” your mother warned, her eyes side eying you with daggers.

Your mother’s threat made you sick inside, what are you to them? A scapegoat?

You weren’t paying attention to who or where was she pushing you to, but once you stopped, the man in front of you made your eyes as big as saucers.

‘How is a man like this doing here?’ you thought to yourself.

“Hello Mr Suh, we’re quite busy at the moment with other potential buyers. Why don’t we allow my daughter, Y/N, to show you around?” your mother said, her voice overly sweet, like day old cotton candy.

Once you were in front of him, your parents left. Leaving you helpless as your social anxiety kicks in, your eyes trained on his shoulder, eye contact, especially from this man, made you very nervous.

“C-can I give you a tour?’ you asked, hoping to ditch him halfway.

Johnny looks at the way your eyes avoid his, it wasn’t hard, given how tall he was, there’s just something so intriguing about you, so different from the girls that throw themselves at him with zero doubts.

“Nice to meet you, Y/N. I’m Johnny,” Johnny introduced himself by bending down slightly, a friendly smile on his face, one that you can’t decipher whether he had similar intentions as those nasty old men had.

To say that the tour was horrible would’ve been an understatement, you kept stuttering under his piercing gaze, instead of looking at you like you were his next meal like other potential buyers, Johnny was genuinely listening to what you have to say. You didn’t think the house was any interesting, it was just a bunch of useless expensive things under one roof, like the movie room, the slides at the pool, the ‘mini’ bar. These things weren’t appealing to you, riches are overrated when it becomes too common, like your cousins and their different designs of Birkin bags, you weren’t exactly fond of their favourite alligator skinned ones as well.

Yet Johnny didn’t look at the cliche setting that you are currently presenting, instead his eyes are trained on yours, it wasn’t a scrutinizing gaze like the wives of those perverted men who stared down on you, nor anything that seems predatory, it only held calculation and observance. On the house? It doesn’t seem like it. On you? You can bet this whole house that he’s met women far more beautiful compared to a plain jane like you.

“T-that’s all for the tour, Mr Suh. Would you want me to direct you to my parents, if you’re interested?” you asked, hoping that you’d get to be alone again.

“Can you take me to the park nearby? I’d like to see the facilities available in this housing area,” he answered smoothly, as if he had calculated every little detail in his life.

You nodded wordlessly at his request, taking him to see the park nearby the house. It was a weird sight, having a man as tall as Johnny towering behind you.

“This is the park,” you pointed stupidly, cursing at yourself, obviously this is the park, anyone with eyes could tell.

Johnny inhaled the breath of fresh air this area offered, his shoulders not as tensed up after. A smile decorated his handsome face as he turned towards you.

“Let’s sit.”

Johnny directed you to the nearest park bench, his size taking up most of the bench, yet he scoots into himself as you sat down next to him, giving you personal space.

‘Does he think I’m going to lower the price of the house for him? I don’t even know how much they’re selling it for,’ you thought, thinking this man must be mad that an unimportant person like you could negotiate with him.

“I’m going to be honest with you, Y/N. I’m not interested in the house,” Johnny said, breaking the silence.

Your mom isn’t going to be pleased when she hears this, you thought as you bit at your bottom lip, thinking about how harsh is she going to react if she didn’t get a buyer out of this event.

“Thank you for taking your time for considering through out this-

“I’m interested in you.”

Did you hear that correctly or was your mind playing tricks on you?

You stared at Johnny as his hand comes close to your face, he wasn’t pulling you closer, instead his fingers reached out to gently graze the underside of your eyes.

“I can see what you’re hiding,” Johnny said solemnly, his eyes showing you pity.

You quickly took out your compact mirror out of your pocket, checking to see if you did a bad job on the concealer for your puffy eyes today, but it looked fine.

“I used to be involve in theater, and I’ve seen people covering unwanted marks or eye bags on their face many times. It’s not obvious to most people, don’t worry,” Johnny explained.

The touch of his fingertips on your face was filled with warmth, as well as his eyes when he looked at you now, if his eyes were honey you’ll be as addicted as Winnie the Pooh. His touch was quickly gone as it had came, his hand placed back into his lap as he stares ahead.

“I’m not going to assume anything, but from what I can see, I don’t think you deserve to be going through what you’re facing now. And as for your family’s company, it’s not going to last long even if they managed to sell this property out. You’re going to be in a much more disappointing situation when that happens, I’ve been in the business game my whole life, my predictions hardly go astray anymore,” Johnny said without a sliver of judgement, he was just laying out the cards for you to observe.

Johnny reaches for a card in his coat pocket and handed it to you, it was his business card.

“I can take you away from all this chaos raging among your family, if you can call it a family that is. I’ll be seeing you soon, Y/N,” Johnny said before standing up and walking away to the direction where his car awaits, his driver closing his door.

That was most definitely a statement.

#nct smut #nct fluff #nct #johnny suh #johnny smut #johnny fluff #seo young ho #nct 127 #nct dream #wayv

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unforth · 3 years

Note

Could you elaborate on the parallels between the Scorpion and his dad and WKX and Purple Danger? I find that thought really interesting! <3

Oh my god you're asking me for meta? No one asks me for meta!!! Getting this made me so happy, thank you! And yes, I'd be delighted to!

Lemme preface this by saying: I have not read the book, and I've only seen episodes 1 through 27, and while I do know some spoilers for past what I've seen, I don't know everything, and I obviously can't speak to changes in dynamics that may happen past what I've watched.

So, I noted in this post that I felt like I'd just gotten slapped in the face by the parallels between Zhao Jing, and his relationship with Xie-er, and Wen Kexing, and his relationship and Gu Xiang. Specifically, the lines in episode 26 that caught me were these:

And the contrasts and similarities that they drew to these scene from Episode 24, which I watched yesterday:

(all screen caps are by me - I won’t have more screen caps just cause I really don’t have time to hunt them all down, I’m sorry, but the first two were easy to grab, and the second two I’d already taken cause that scene really got to me yesterday).

These lines, coming only two episodes apart, seemed like a really stark and deliberate effort to show a connection in the attitudes of Zhao Jing and Wen Kexing. They've also got some similarities in the childhood/history that got them to this point: Zhao Jing's family was fallen from grace, as was Wen Kexing's. Both are noted as seeming different from the "regular" people around them - Wen Kexing, it's explicit; with Zhao Jing, it's more how others seem to behave around him. It's harder to get a sense of Zhao Jing, since his own self-report is so dubious and the flashbacks we get to the Rong Xuan era are all given from the perspective of different unreliable narrators, whereas Wen Kexing's memories seem fairly intact (well, water of forgetfulness aside) and match the other remembrances we get of the same scenes.

With those similar, dubious foundations, they both resolve from a young age to take revenge for the perceived slights committed against them - and both have decided that regardless of who the specific instigators are for their suffering, they have no compunction about involving innocents as a whole. Zhao Jing wants the power he feels has been denied to him, and sets about conspiring to get that power. To achieve that, he sets about on a course that involves lying and using literally everyone who can help him. Likewise, while I'm still definitely missing some damn important of Wen Kexing's backstory (starting with, who protected the dog for him, and how he went from "kid getting regularly beaten by the previous ghost king" to "adult who is said to have literally eaten the previous ghost king"), he also clearly sets out to gain power through whatever means he can, and to survive, though from the get-go, his goal is essentially the inverse of Zhao Jing's: Zhao Jing wants to lift himself up, and sees nothing but virtue in doing so; Wen Kexing wants to bring everyone else down, and knows he's damned through-and-through for it.

(They're parallels, not matches, just to be clear! It's not that I'm saying everything is the same - on the contrary, it's the differences that makes it so intriguing).

Now, then, at some point relatively early in this entire process, each of these young men found a child. Given that Xie’er and Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishou are of the same generation, presumably they’re all around the same age - 27 or so - and also presumably, the previous generation were all in their late teens to early twenties when they had their own disastrous round of adventuring. So, if Xie’er is, say, 25, and Zhao Jing was probably around 20 (since he was one of the younger folks in the flashbacks), and 20 years have passed, and Xie’er was probably around the same age as child Wen Kexing when he was found? (I don’t know, and I don’t know if that’s ever established, sorry) So around 7? Then we’ve Xie’er being adopted by Zhao Jing and Wen Kexing being adopted by the Ghost King, each almost exactly 20 years ago. Presumably, also, Zhao Jing marries...drat, I can’t remember her name...was it Li Yao or something???...right around the same time - hence why Xie’er would think of her as a mother. Anyway, sorry, I’m really tired and I just lost the thread slightly, but the point is: a 20-or-so-year-old Zhao Jing finds a young Xie’er; and a few years later, a likely-early-teens-aged Wen Kexing finds a toddler Gu Xiang (because Wen Kexing is 27 now, and Gu Xiang is I’m guessing around 18, and she’s likely 3ish when Wen Kexing finds her, so that’d make her 3 or 4, and him 12 or 13).

And here’s where the parallels really show the essential differences between these men, despite the areas of commonality in the hate they hold toward the world and their desire to see the world brought low.

Because, given a small child, Wen Kexing’s immediate, clear thought is: I will never let this child experience what I have been through. Now, he’s busted, and he’s crazy, so from that point of view, he still does her harm: she thinks of murder as nothing (as does Xie’er) for example. But even in that, the motivations are different. Gu Xiang says it herself after she kills the beggar and Cao Weining confronts her about it: if a person is out to harm her, if a person even might harm her, isn’t she justified in killing him? If that isn’t the quintessential Wen Kexing lesson right there, I don’t know what is: “Gu Xiang, you don’t kill because I tell you to, and you don’t kill for fun, and you don’t kill for no reason - but the moment, the very instant, you have a reason? Don’t hesitate, because if you do, you’ll be the corpse, not them.” Everything Wen Kexing teachers Gu Xiang is with the aim of helping her survive in the cruelest environment in the world, one that has flayed him and raked him over the coals over and over and over again. Further, despite the hints I’ve seen so far that he has early allies at Mount Qingya (Tragicomic Ghost has been shown to at minimum pity him, and find him an odd curiosity), Wen Kexing entrusts no one else with the most vulnerable creature who has ever come into his life (well, aside from that adorable puppy, which I have the bad feeling is going to be shown to be horribly murdered before his eyes, possibly by his own hand to prove a point...that would be thematically appropriate...). He gives Gu Xiang the tools to survive and fight for herself, even against him, and when she even begins to suggest she might prefer to be somewhere else - when he sees evidence of her finding happiness - he does everything he can to encourage her joy, support her happy ending, and free her. Wen Kexing is Gu Xiang’s father, in every useful interpretation of the term - she may call him master, and others might call her his maid, but their relationship is tender, encouraging, mutually supportive, and loving. Wen Kexing wants what is best for Gu Xiang, even at the expense of his own comfort and happiness, because he cares for her that essentially and deeply - and she likewise goes out of her way to protect him more than once.

MEANWHILE.

Given a small child, though I haven’t yet seen any flashbacks to when Xie’er was little and I don’t even know if there are any, it’s really obvious that Zhao Jing instantly goes, “how can I best use this to my advantage?” Instead of setting about to build this child up to be a functional adult who can stand up to the challenges that threatened to crush Zhao Jing’s life, Zhao Jing deliberately sabotages Xie’er’s ability to function as an independent unit. He teachers Xie’er to kill, not to protect himself, but on command - to kill because Zhao Jing says so, who Zhao Jing says, on even the merest whim, and is so successful at doing so that Xie’er has even less respect for life than Zhao Jing does (which was never much to begin with). Further, while we know that Wen Kexing will kill to protect Gu Xiang, Zhao Jing never so much as lifts a finger to do his own dirty work, and has zero compunction about throwing Xie’er under the bus when he suits his ends. In 27, he flat out says - “if you keep acting like this, and kill the Gentle Wind Sect, you’ll ruin me - which means I can never let you stand next to me in public.” He says this when he knows that Xie’er craves his approval and that one of Xie’er’s most cherished objects in all he’s done is to reach a point where he can stand at Zhao Jing’s shoulder as an acknowledged heir and successor and proudly say, “yes, I did all those things to help my father, because I’m a good son.” Further, Zhao Jing is constantly abusive and manipulative. When Xie’er does what Zhao Jing has trained him to do, on command (like a dog? more parallels??), Zhao Jing praises him, touches him kindly (and when else do you think Xie’er is ever getting touched kindly? Nothing like the casual and appropriate physical intimacy with which Wen Kexing and Gu Xiang shoulder bump and interact) and tells him how precious he is. The instant Xie’er steps a toe out of line, Zhao Jing denigrates him, threatens to take away that which Xie’er most wants (acknowledgement), scolds him, calls him a fool, says he doesn’t understand. Zhao Jing calls Xie’er his son, and insists that Xie’er call him yifu, and the world may even see that way - though they hardly can, since Zhao Jing refuses to be publicly associated with Xie’er - but they couldn’t be less related when compared to Wen Kexing, who allows all to see him call Gu Xiang his servant even as he flagrantly, publicly, repeatedly treats her as his child - culminating in the speech he gives Cao Weining when he gives permission for them to wed.

Everything Wen Kexing does, as fucked up as some of it is, is done with the aim of building Gu Xiang up into a strong, independent, functional adult who is less stained than himself and capable of pursuing happiness in the world.

And everything Zhao Jing does, all of which is equally if not more fucked up than what Wen Kexing does, is done with the aim of tearing Xie’er down, making him a powerful tool - a trained dog, if you will - and a dependent person who can be deployed on an enemy and must be kept permanently off-balance so that he never ever is an independent, functional adult - and, to help ensure that, he deliberately orders Xie’er to commit depraved acts that guarantee that Xie’er is more stained than himself, and therefore incapable of finding happiness in the world.

Anyway, I could probably go on, but I gotta leave to drive my kid to school and run a couple errands, but, in conclusion: when Zhao Jing said, “the world has failed me, and I shall do the same to the world,” and it became clear to me that he and Wen Kexing essentially share (or at least shared) the same core goal, I was struck by a lightning bolt about the parallels and contrasts between them as people, and them as father’s, and here you go.

Hope this is coherent, I’m really sleepy and in a rush. :D And I hope it answers your question!

(Also dear everyone: if you reply to this or add to it in reblogs I ask that you please respect that I’ve only seen to episode 27, and not rip me apart for things I haven’t seen yet, and try to avoid giving me spoilers? I know a few - or at least I think I do - like I know all the Major Character Death stuff - but I’m sure if you’ve seen the whole series you can spot places where you, dear reader, know things I don’t, and I’d ask that you not ruin those places for me, because I’m watching as fast as I can - about one episode a day - and I’d rather find out for myself. Thank you!)

#unforth rambles #unforth metas #meta #word of honor #word of honor spoilers #word of honor meta

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norcumii · 3 years

Text

Well that was a bout of PTSD I wasn’t expecting.

Ramblings under the cut so I can find it again later, warnings for: abuse, abusive relationship, probable incoherence, likely oversharing, (urge to) self-harm.

I’ve been dipping my toes back into RvB this week – I’ve seen seasons 1-3 countless times, 4 slightly less but still a lot, and everything else once.

The Ex’s issues included not wanting to venture too far into various media, but he sure did love rewatching what he had seen. That’s part of why once I got free, I made myself sit down and watch the rest – I basically spite-binged seasons 5-13, dissociating through at least the second half because I had so many mental warning bells clanging about how I was misbehaving, cheating by watching ahead without him, how dare I.

Had a shit time sleeping that week, too, but at least the sleep dep was familiar and helped me power through the emotional upset.

Loved the show, too – that doesn’t surprise me in the least, given how I already appreciated the writing and I’ve had several folks singing high praises of the further writing. I had quite a few “holy SHIT” moments, those ‘gotta pause and marvel and breathe “what the FUCK you magnificent ASSHOLES” timeouts,’ y’know, where you gotta stop to walk off some feels and just be awed at writing and performing SKILLS? And that was with the dissociation.

I honestly don’t know how yesterday I stumbled over a set of videos of a gentleman reacting to his first watch of RvB. Of course I immediately went to the super significant episodes, because I was curious as how The Big Moments hit someone else – I watched in a vacuum, squeaking at Tumblr and powering forward before my brain caught up and devoured me.

Anyway, yeah, I’ve been enjoying watching delightfully screechy man react to familiar storylines and jokes, then I realized I desperately wanted to see how he reacted to the end of Season 10, because that was when I had the biggest reaction, personally, and I spent quite awhile chewing over my thoughts and the themes and whatnot. I mean, it’s the end of the major/first storyline, it wraps up YEARS of plot and character arcs, and it’s just fucking balls-to-the-walls AMAZING.

I cackled so much watching this man lose his absolute shit. I was grinning a mile wide when he screeched like an actual banshee and had to take a lap around the room.

I was starting to feel funny as he waxed rhapsodic through the credits. I mean, don’t get me wrong, a lot of what he was saying matched much of my own thoughts at the time when first seeing it, but then he segued into how he’d gotten into RvB via RWBY, and that wasn’t my experience.

(I couldn’t understand why I was feeling so unsettled – I have absolutely no reason to feel wonky about how one gets into a fandom.)

He was still gushing as the post-credit scenes rolled, and I was shook because I don’t think I watched them.

(I’m not surprised – I know I had to stop watching rather abruptly. It was probably super late and I do recall Himself’s shadow looming hard to gnaw at my brain.)

The lovely YouTube gentleman was right back to unending adoration after them, just crying for joy about his love for RWBY and RvB, and I just...started crying.

It wasn’t good crying. It was ugly crying that wouldn’t stop, kept building with that wheezing, rusty-hinge keen that would be a scream if you push from breathing to speaking; crumpling up and finding the old urge to claw spiraling up along with it.

I’m fine. I didn’t, honest.

The emotion is still lurking, even now, after much bawling and a walk to try to redirect whatever the fuck that was. I think the base is a bit of despair, shored up with oceans of grief. Helplessness neutering much of the fury, all wrapped up with threads of sneering incredulity.

I couldn’t understand at first, why I was choking out “We could’ve had this.” I had to puzzle through that bawling which hard experience kept as silent as possible.

We could’ve had this.

This man has so much enthusiastic love for this show. He’s just...JOYOUS about it, open and awed and gleeful.

We never had that. We never could screech in delight about things at each other – any attempts ended in an ugly argument, usually about spoilers (fuck you, dude, if you didn’t want me speculating which you specifically wanted me to be good at in other contexts then don’t start speculating yourself!). Often about words – he had so many words, so many concepts that were taboo, and gods help the poor bastard what stumbled into a synonym Himself thought should be obvious and therefore also taboo instead of a necessary dodge because communication is a thing.

(Was this a concept that was enough degrees separate to satisfy him, or would it lead to a scolding about trying to sabotage his joy? Again. Like always.)

(Not just the scolding, but the demands – how could I be so cruel, WHY had this happened, no – no he wouldn’t accept that I’m too smart to think like that, or I had promised not to do the next door neighbor to it which is as good as promising not to do it either, what was the real reason we’re going to be here until he got his truth. No matter HOW many hours it took.)

We could’ve had this. We could’ve shared things, not Himself serving out appropriate sized dollops of what he liked while I limited myself to whatever I could speculate would be appropriately sized reactions.

I couldn’t enjoy something we shared too much. I couldn’t laugh too loud because it would distract from the moment. His joy always had to come first and how fucking DARE I impinge upon it even one iota?

No, really, I had to confess, and if he didn’t believe the answer it would not be accepted.

I got so tired of lying. I got so tired of being accused of lying when it was truth, and only believed when it was fake.

That’s one of the reasons why arguments went on for hours. I could only grit my teeth and ‘yes sir no sir three bags full sir, obviously I did it to fuck you over sir’ for so long.

My reasons were never good enough.

My joy always ended up being too much.

We could’ve had this – but his world, his joy, was never big enough for anyone but him.

#and not only was it never big enough; then he refused to let me go #i am so hurt and furious right now #Norcumi’s Continuing Adventures in Learning to be a Functioning Human Being #abuse mention #self harm mention #sometimes i treat tumblr like an actual blog

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deantransgressions2 · 3 years

Text

13x02 the rising son

21 transgressions. enjoy.

#1: dean criticized sam for wanting to protect jack, and then devalued jack’s entire existence to an “it”.

sam: “look… losing mom and cas, that’s a lot to process, dean, especially on no sleep. and the kid...”

dean: “the “kid”? come on, man, you know how this plays out. kook, when we try to bend the rules, pretend that the bad guys aren’t so bad or that things will get fixed, that’s when people that we care about get hurt. and then we end up doing what we should’ve done in the first place, which is end the problem. so this time, let’s start with the obvious. soon as i find a way to take care of… it.”

time tag: 3:17

#2: after sam failed again to make dean see jack as a child, he tried to make dean see jack as an asset. dean refused to listen or consider any of sam’s insights, and admitted that he is giving up on family, which is something he claims he would never ever ever ever ever do.

sam: “dean, “the problem” might be our only shot at saving mom.”

dean: “mom’s gone. there’s no fixing that.”

time tag: 3:44

#3: jack was happily watching scooby doo and bothering nobody, so of course dean walked over and scolded him, then turned the tv off. apparently watching tv is illegal now yall!!

time tag: 9:03

#4: told jack to take the couch and threw a bible at him. luckily, sam isn’t a child murderer and made sure jack felt welcome. sam = good dad. but, dean winchester is already worse of a father than john was. you hate to see it.

time tag: 9:11

#5: dean criticized jack for eating the exact same way he does. mocking a 3 day old child just for the sake of it, just to make himself feel better. he is pathetic. idk why jack and sam put up with him these next 3 seasons.

dean: “you can slow down, you know. that’s stuff’s not gonna disappear.”

sam: “ever seen you eat, dean?”

time tag: 10:02

#6: yells at jack for copying his movements. he’s 3 days old...3 days old. 3.

time tag: 11:35

#7: sam has been rooting for jack to not be evil. he is focusing on WHO jack is not what he is. dean, however, is counting on jack being evil so he can murder him. the confirmation bias is real here. any instance of jack showing humanity dean just tunes it out. this conversation should remind you of dean’s view of sam in s4/5

donatello: “yes, well, not so much anymore. but, uh…look at you. the waves of power… so intense.”

dean: “maybe less human than we thought.”

donatello: “fascinating. you know, i’ve met your father. your power’s nothing like his. not dark, not toxic.”

sam: “that so?”

dean: “not yet.”

time tag: whole time but 15:58

#8: he was a dick to the tattoo artist for no reason expect that he loves to take his anger out on others.

time tag: 16:44

#9: when in doubt blame sam! when in doubt accuse sam! when in doubt manipulate sam! wooohooo!!!

sam: “so you heard donatello. no evil vibes from jack.”

dean: “proves nothing, except that you’re way too attached to this kid. you need to see this for what it is, okay?”

time tag: 16:54

#10: lessons from our sexist macho man icon:

jack: “it hurt.”

dean: “okay, see, sometimes, things hurt, so you just man up and deal with it.”

time tag: 17:21

#11: some more of dean refusing to listen to other’s correct observations of jack, because there is no changing his mind that jack is evil. he doesn’t need proof that jack is evil, because he doesn’t want it. he wants to murder jack regardless of who he is. dean only cares about WHAT jack is. sigh. 2x03 i miss you.

time tag: 18:43

#12: dean claimed that since cas loved jack, jack is therefore responsible for his murder. even though it was literally lucifer that murdered cas, not jack. so, using dean’s logic: sam and john killed mary, sam killed jess, dean killed john, sam killed dean, sam and dean and bobby killed jo and ellen, dean killed sam, dean and sam killed cas multiple times, sam and dean killed kevin....etc etc. do you see how fucking stupid dean is being rn?

sam: “okay, look, yeah, jack is on lucifer’s family tree. but we don’t know if that dna is stronger than Kelly’s, or his connection with cas.”

dean: “oh, you mean the connection that got cas killed?”

sam: “i’m just saying, jack doesn’t have to be evil. we can teach him not to be.”

time tag: 18:53

#13: dean called jack ‘the devil’ which made jack so upset he ran away. this is a transgression obviously towards jack, but also towards sam. dean said that a 3 day old child (who literally hasn’t done anything wrong) is the devil. he said it in front of his brother who was tortured by the ACTUAL devil (and michael) for centuries. it’s insensitive and fucked up beyond belief for dean to use his brother’s abuser to try and manipulate him to conform to his beliefs on jack.

NOT TO MENTION that dean is the only member of team free will with absolutely no supernatural abilities at all. he does not understand jack. he does not understand lucifer. dean is the LAST person who should have a say in if jack is good or evil.

time tag: 19:25

#14: this is a abuse apology. many victims of abuse are manipulated to apologize for them and sympathize with them. this is a prime example of that:

sam: “dean doesn’t hate you. it… look, sometimes the wires in dan’s head get crossed and...and he gets frustrated, and then he mixes frustration with anger, and...and fear.”

jack: “why would he be afraid?”

sam: “because dean feels like it’s his job to protect everyone.”

time tag: 20:45

#15: did the writers include this scene to emphasize that dean is john (but worse)....because that’s exactly what it did.

bartender: “i hated my old man. I ran away myself. see, my mom would never stick up for me. but…you know kids. no matter what, they still want the old man’s approval. well, that’s how it was with me, just…”

dean: “you know, that’s, uh, that’s how it was with me, too.”

i’m not sure what dean is referring to here because based on what the bartender is saying, sam would relate more to her story than dean but ok! sure! pity party time needs no logic

time tag: 22:17

#16: sam had to seperate jack and dean in order to protect jack. sam felt that jack was safer with a man that had no soul (donatello), over his own brother. and he was right!

time tag: 23:11

#17: dean made fun of sam and jack by calling jack sam’s “new pal” as a way to not only degrade jack, but also ridicule sam.

time tag: 27:08

#18: dean is angry that sam isn’t blindly following along with his plans for jack’s death. and everything sam tried to say to get dean out of his child murdering mindset goes in one ear and out the other.

sam: “point is…if you and i are gonna do this, keep jack on the right side of things, then...then we have to be on the same page.”

dean: “okay. well, that’s the problem, though, sam, ‘cause we’re not on the same page. like, at all.”

sam: “all right. you know what? i know what’s going on here.”

dean: “oh. okay. well, please, tell me, what’s going on here?”

sam: “you thinking mom is gone and cas is gone, and that jack can’t be saved. dean, after everything we’ve gone through… we just lost people we love, people who have been in our lives for a long time. everything’s upside-down. i get it. but we’ve been down before. i mean, rock bottom. and we find a way. We fix it because that’s what we do. and jack w-wants to do the right thing. jack’s scared to death of who he is, and he’s scared of you.”

you know who else was scared of their father figure? dean. and sam. and now jack. dean stans can hate john all they want but the truth is dean is far worse. they both deserve a special place in hell together

time tag: 27:19

#19: the mental gymnastics it takes to come to this conclusion about jack. to ignore any and all proof that jack isn’t evil. it’s shocking how strongly dean holds onto hate and his need to kill.

sam: “dean, wait a second. the kid came through for us today. jack saved us.” dean: “no. no, whatever that was, that was a reflex. it was a sneeze. maybe next time he sneezes, he kills us. goodnight.”

time tag: 39:32

#20: dean drove jack to self harm. dean then proceeded to angrily tell him off and call him names for doing so.

dean: “okay. what the hell? give me that. you...don’t be an idiot. look, a, this is not gonna do anything to you, okay? and b, you… what the hell?”

time tag: 40:35

#21: this is psychological abuse. this is child abuse. this scene is as bad as the panic room of s4. disgusting. and some people actually ship this man with this child’s father (castiel). get help.

dean: “you know, my brother thinks you can be saved.” jack: “you don’t believe that.” dean: “no, i don’t.”

jack: “so… if you’re right?”

dean: “if i’m right… and it comes to killing you… i’ll be the one to do it.”

time tag: 41:07

#13x02 the rising son #this episode took me like 2 hours to do oh my GOD #heavy #spn #dean negative #dean critical #jack kline #<3 #tw verbal abuse #emotional manipulation/abuse #tw self harm #pity party tag!#controlling #gaslighting #hypocrisy #sexism #belittling #anti dean winchester

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winter-turtle · 3 years

Text

House Of Wolves - Chapter 4 - Winterturtle - Multifandom [Archive of Our Own]

Chapter 4: Letting Go Of What I Once Believed

There were only a few constants in Peter’s life – dingy rooms where he slept, the shoves that he’d learned were tad too strong to be considered playful, the compliments that weren’t really compliments…

Oddly enough, he’d come to accept the bracelets as another constant in his life. The bracelets that weren’t there anymore. He couldn’t claim that they provided comforting weight since they barely weighted anything, but he felt strangely naked without them.

The next morning, Peter counted exactly two plates on the table when he entered the kitchen. Right. No breakfast waiting for him anymore.

With his professional cooking skills, he made himself a bowl of bland cereal before seating himself at the table. Aside from the crunching of the cereals and the occasional words his parents exchanged when they showed each other something on their tablets, the room was quiet.

They paid their son no mind.

“So… you came for me,” Peter began awkwardly, not really knowing where to begin. He wasn’t in a talking mood after he woke up. Thankfully, he’d been ignored for the rest of the ride and then he used the aftereffects of the sedatives as a reason to retreat into his new room.

The weight of what he’d done kept crashing into him full force.

“Of course we came for you,” Mary said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Do you really think we would’ve left you there to rot? You are out little Spider!”

“Well, you left me there and then didn’t show up for five weeks,” Peter replied in a tone that he hoped sounded nonchalant and kept his face carefully blank, not wanting to appear that he was talking back.

Richard shrugged. “That was all part of the plan.”

“Plan?” Peter repeated.

“Oh, Peter,” Mary laughed “for such a smart boy, you sure can be stupid. Come on, I thought we raised you better than that.”

Peter pressed his lips in thin line, willing himself not to react to the jab. That could end badly for him very quickly.

“We’re not suicidal,” Richard continued, “we know that fighting the whole team of those heroes wouldn’t end well for us. That’s where you came in play.”

“You saved yourselves by leaving me there?”

“Don’t interrupt,” Mary scolded. “We have a client that offered a very nice sum for the plans of the compound. And what’s the best way to get those than to get them from the inside?”

So this was all just a stupid plan to get the blueprints and some inside info? For some reason, the thought of being used without his knowledge as some disposable pawn made the something nasty stir in Peter’s chest. “And you haven’t thought of, I don’t know, letting me in on the plan so I would’ve known what I was getting into and what was expecting of me?”

Dangerous waters. He was entering dangerous waters by talking like this, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care.

“Your behavior had to be authentic,” Richard said.

“I could’ve pretended.” Danger. Stupid. Shut up. “And besides, how could you possibly know that they would let me roam the building? They could’ve left me locked in a cell or had me shipped off to Shield.”

“Watch your tone,” Mary shot Peter a warning look, which made Peter grind his teeth in response. “Firstly, you’re not as good actor as you think. Your skills might work on random passerby or security guards, but not on a group that has several spies. And secondly, we knew because, well, look at yourself,” she gestured to Peter’s face. “You don’t exactly look dangerous with that baby face. That’s one of the reasons you wear that mask. All innocent and redeemable.” She gagged. “If you won’t grow out of it soon, we’ll have to do something about it. Maybe a nice scar or something. Maybe on the cheek or over the eye…”

Peter didn’t like that idea at all. If his mother wanted a scar that would stay visible, it would have to be deep and held open until it healed. The thought of the pain made his eye twitch.

“A scar like that will remove our advantage. He’ll look suspicious.”

“We could use make-up.”

“Will you dedicate the time to it? Because I seriously doubt that he’ll be able to cover it properly.”

Mary dragged her hand down her face, letting out weary sigh. “I guess you’re right.”

“They have feelings. They care,” Richard smiled as if they just weren’t discussing the pros and cons of mutilating Peter’s face, “and that’s their weakness. I bet that after they failed to get information on us from you, they thought they could “reeducate” you or change you or some other sappy shit and make you turn on us.”

Peter’s silence was the answer on its own.

“Wait, they really told you all that crap?”

“They did,” Peter admitted. “I knew they wanted something from me when they changed their behavior.” Peter put on displeased scowl. “Do you really think that if I’d believed them, I would be here right now? I played along to get nice things, that was all.”

Liar.

Richard nodded. “Good. And see how nicely it worked out? After we saw you on that roof, we gave it a few more days before coming to pick you up.”

Peter’s heart skipped a beat. Nobody was supposed to know about what happened on the roof except him and Mr. Stark. “You were watching the whole time?”

“We did,” Mary said. “I have to say, it was amusing to watch the Merchant of Death himself give you his hoodie. You had him eating from your hand!” she giggled. “He’s gone soft for some random kid. That’s hilarious.”

“So, where all have you been?” Richard asked.

“The cells, obviously, I almost made it to the exit while I tried to run away, then the living quarters I believe, the communal area, the gym, the roof and Mr. Star- I-I mean Stark’s workshop.”

“Mr. Stark now, huh?”

Shit. Peter didn’t like the glint in his father’s eyes. He shrugged, not letting the desperation to cover up the slip-up show. “Force of habit. Being polite gave me nice things too.”

“Well, you better unlearn that,” he spat back. “It looks like their manipulation tactics was at least somewhat successful if you got used to it.”

“What? That’s not- I didn’t do anything wrong!”

“Well, to me it seems like you fell for their sweet words!”

“I didn’t!”

“I bet you believed them when they said that you can be better!”

Yes.

“I didn’t! I swear!”

Liar, liar.

“You are one ungrateful brat, you know?”

“What could they give you anyway?” Mary joined in. “You would be nothing without us. We made you strong.”

I didn’t ask for it.

“Where you would be without us? What you would be without us? Huh? Tell me. You might remember that much.”

Normal.

Peter remembered. It was hard to forget when it was drilled into your head since you could remember. “Nothing,” he said softly. “I would be nothing without you.”

“All that training we put you through—”

“Kid, that’s called abuse.”

“—it was all to make something out of you!”

Peter was tired. He didn’t wan to listen to any of this anymore. He needed some alone time.

There was only one way how to get it.

“You’re right,” he said, his head bowed, “but I wouldn’t be here if I believed them,” he repeated. “I’ll do better. I promise.”

All was quiet for a moment.

Richard sighed harshly and sliding a laptop towards him. “Go make yourself useful and make those plans. You better not become more trouble than you’re worth,” he grumbled, then gave Peter’s chair a kick. “Get out of my sight. And don’t expect any food until those plans are complete, nice and detailed.”

Peter wordlessly stood up and with the laptop under his arm, he headed out of the kitchen.

“Oh, and Peter?” Mary called out after him, making Peter stop in his tracks. “One more question – back on that roof… you had a perfect chance to kill Stark. That would be nice for your first time. Imagine that, killing Iron Man,” she said with a dreamy smile, “way to make a name for yourself. Killing one of the Avengers would get us so much recognition and power, more that we already have. So,” Mary looked at him intently, her happy demeanor gone “why didn’t you go for it?”

Now this was the time where Peter was incredibly glad that nobody could see his every thought on a display like in that book he’d read. “He didn’t have his suit on,” he said, his voice even. “He is just a regular man without it. It would be too easy. I want a challenge.”

Liar, liar, liar.

Mary contemplated the answer before humming, seemingly satisfied with what she heard. “Nobody would have to know that he didn’t have his suit on, but okay. I see your reasoning.”

Peter let out soundless exhale.

“You’ll get your chance soon.”

“Okay.”

“Okay. Now scatter,” she waved him off as if he was some annoying bug.

Peter clutched the laptop a little harder. Grateful to be released, he headed to the roof.

Tony had no idea how many times he’s watched the footage. He was pretty sure he’s learned everything there was to know first five times he played it, but what else he could do?

Absolute hopelessness – that’s what he felt. Some part of his mind still refused to believe what had happened.

Where had he gone wrong?

“Tones,” Rhodey softly said.

Tony didn’t turn around. His eyes remained glued to the screen. “Look,” he said as he paused the footage Friday had so diligently searched for since that night on the roof. Tony zoomed on the figure in the middle of the road. “He’s way younger here, but there’s no denying it. It’s him.”

Even if the hood was hiding most of the kid’s head, there was just a split-second frame where a part of the face could be seen.

Rhodey walked closer, leaning over Tony’s shoulder. “There is… a resemblance.”

“That’s not all,” Tony said and let the rest of the footage play out. He did his best to push back the memories that got brough up by the sight of the alien army. “See?” he asked. “The kid could’ve left that couple behind, but he went out of his way to save them.”

“Tony—”

“He said he didn’t save anyone and yet this proves otherwise. He could’ve stayed where he was, he could’ve run, he made himself that opening, but he didn’t!”

“Tones—”

“He had to have a reason for running, right? He couldn’t just up and leave because he felt like it, there has to be something—”

“Tones—"

“I just don’t understand what I did wrong! I though I have—”

“Tony!” Rhodey said, forcefully cutting Tony off. Immediately after that, his face took on a look of sobriety and pity. “Fury is here.”

And with just those three words, Tony deflated. He knew what was coming next.

“Hey.”

Peter glanced up at Richard, then returned his attention back to the screen in front of him. “Hey.”

Richard casually leaned on the wall near Peter, far enough so he couldn’t see the screen. “What a view, huh? I bet you missed it back in that jungle.”

Peter watched the horizon and nodded, because as much as he wanted to deny it, he did miss the city.

“How are the plans going?”

“Good.”

Another long stretch of silence.

“About earlier… I’m sorry if you took it the wrong way. We were just worried. You know we care about you, right?”

Were you? Do you?

“Yeah.”

“Full sentences.”

“I know you were worried,” Peter sighed. Time to use the magic words. “I’m sorry.”

“Great,” Richard said and went to the door. He turned around before he passed the doorway. “Peter?”

Peter wordlessly looked up, locking his gaze with Richard’s.

“You did alright out there. Here,” he said and threw small bar at him. Peter caught it with no real effort. “For you,” Richard finished.

“Thanks.”

When Peter couldn’t hear his father’s footsteps any longer, he opened his hand. A tiny chocolate bar sat innocently on his palm. For a long moment, Peter didn’t do anything. He just stared.

To be fair, he didn’t expect his parents to come to him only an hour later. Usually they took way longer. Every time he got yelled at, one of his parents would show up, say some sweet words, Peter would apologize and the circle was complete.

The routine was back.

But this time, he knew better. He’d learned.

Or did he?

Were they really that bad? They took care of him his whole life. It was thanks to them that he had his powers. But he didn’t want them in the first place. He got hurt more times than he could count with them. The Avengers didn’t hurt him. Well, at least not intentionally.

“Kid, that’s called abuse.”

Was it abuse?

No.

Yes.

They said it was for his own good.

Was it?

Yes.

No.

Maybe?

They said sorry for yelling.

They always said sorry and then did it again.

Peter set the chocolate aside and reached into his sock for the small disc he’d snatched from the workshop. He began to absentmindedly flip it, repeating the action of tossing, watching it spin in the air and catching it.

He glanced at the screen, seeing that the only thing he’d done was a very detailed plan of the roof… pretty much useless unless someone wanted to be a dick and steal every third pole from the railing.

The screen went dark. Peter returned to the tossing and when he looked at the horizon next time, the sun was setting.

Peter let the disc rest on his palm. Why did he take it in the first place? He could’ve snatched anything else – a gun, a bomb, plan to some secret weapon… so why the tracker?

“I don’t know,” he whispered under his breath as he looked at the tracker between his thumb and index finger. “I don’t know.”

Peter slowly increased the pressure. The tracker began to blink.

“Oops,” he said despite the fact that the action was fully intentional.

He didn’t know.

He went back to the flipping.

“All I’m saying is that all of this could have been avoided if you had let us handle the situation from the beginning,” Fury said as he paced the common room where all of the Avengers were gathered, sitting on a sofa with heads down, taking the scolding like a bunch of little kids.

Frankly, Tony was getting tired of it. “Fury—”

“Don’t Fury me,” the director snapped. “You tried to domesticate a villain—”

“He was just a kid that didn’t know any better—”

“—and look how it ended up. You loosened his leash, left him roam the compound and left him in your lab unsupervised where, mind I remind you, is technology that can do much wrong if it fell into wrong hands. Who knows how many information he’d gathered? Or what he stole? Seriously, you didn’t think of checking if something went missing?”

“Friday is looking through the inventory. If something physical is missing, she will notice.”

“Oh, because that will do so much good with him gone,” Fury’s voice dripped with sarcasm. “And need I remind you that he apparently confessed to murder from what I heard?”

“I don’t think he really killed someone,” Sam intervened.

Fury opened his mouth, but before he could let out a single sound, Natasha spoke up. “He didn’t.”

Those two words were said with so much confidence, Tony took them as a fact.

Fury’s head cocked to the side. “Oh? And how would you know that?”

“While we were in the gym, I gave him plenty opportunities to strike. I exposed my back to him since he warned us about that, placed myself in vulnerable position… yet he didn’t attack. Just empty words. Then I made a show of my arms buckling and he caught the bar so it wouldn’t crush my throat. You didn’t see the look in his eyes. He was scared. Plus,” she said, looking off into distance, “he doesn’t have the eyes of a killer.”

All was quiet as the team digested the information. Not even Tony knew the whole story.

“That was pretty reckless,” Clint said, breaking the silence.

Natasha snorted. “Please, do you think that I would place myself into a dangerous situation if I wasn’t sure I could handle it?”

“But he still ran away at the first sight of his parents,” Bucky said lowly, his head bowed. “It was going so well, but if I know something, it’s that two weeks isn’t enough time to get rid of lifetime of conditioning if exposed to...”

“To the abuser,” Steve finished.

Fury sat down, letting out long, tired sigh. “And now all three of them are God knows where.”

“Boss,” Friday spoke up, “I have completed the check.”

“Well?”

“One item missing.”

Tony tensed. “What is it?”

“An emergency tracker, prototype three.”

Tony’s eyebrows knitted together. Prototype three was the kind of tracker that could be activated without an outside power source. On the other hand, it was untraceable unless the person possessing it activated it.

Why would the kid steal that particular thing?

“What would he do with a tracker?” Steve voiced Tony’s inner thought.

“Maybe he didn’t know what it was?” Sam tried.

Tony thought back to their lab sessions. Had he told the kid about the tracker? He didn’t remember. But if he did, then why-

“Tracker activated,” Friday said, making Tony’s heart race.

Tony brought up a holo-screen where a red dot was steadily blinking in abandoned block in Queens. A grin slowly spread across his face, his soul leaping with hope. “I believe it’s time to suit up.”

Peter kept flipping the small disc until the sky turned black. Not a star was in sight.

A shiver run down his spine, but Peter sure as hell wouldn’t go inside to get a jacket or a hoodie. His parents would ask about his progress on the blueprints and he really didn’t need that right now.

His parents…

The hours alone allowed Peter to do something he’d never thought of before in the presence of the two adults. He allowed himself to feel. Memory by memory, Peter carefully catalogued every single emotion that came with it. Bitterness, fear, frustration, worthlessness, anger… those prevailed. The lack of positive feelings only fueled the flames of anger.

Thankfully, he could always fall on the calming repetitive action of flipping the disc before he could get overwhelmed.

The hairs on his arms stood up, but not because of the cold. Peter stood up as well. There was no one coming from the inside, so that meant-

They were here.

That was good, right?

With tiny smile on his face, Peter returned to his previous spot. All he could do was to sit and wait for the shitshow to unfold.

Boom.

Or not.

Against his better judgement, Peter abandoned everything on the roof and followed the source of the small explosion to the lower levels. More crashes and pops that suspiciously sounded like guns going off could be heart, but Peter was persistent and pushed forward.

Peter’s spidey sense flared up, warning him about the bullet approaching his head. He jumped behind the wall in the last second.

“Wait, stop, that was Peter!”

Mr. Barnes. And by the sound of it, there were also-

“Peter, are you—”

Whatever he was about to say next was cut off by an explosion that shook the whole floor. Cracks began to appear under Peter at the same time as he heard the floor under the Avengers fall. Peter didn’t have enough time to get to his feet and run to where the floor was stable. A chunk of concrete under his feet disappeared, and if it wasn’t for Peter’s stickiness, he would’ve fallen.

The concrete kept crumbling, not allowing him to get proper grip to crawl up, to get to safety. He caught a glimpse of what was underneath him and doubled his endeavors. This floor wasn’t the only one that was falling apart. At least four other floors were completely gone as well.

He finally got to stable part of the floor and pulled himself up. Doubled over his knees, he took in his arms that were both covered in deep gashes and superficial scratches.

“Don’t just stand there. Come on!”

Peter didn’t need more prompting. He stood up straight and ran after his mother. “What was that?”

“The defense system,” she said. “What, did you think we left the buildings where we stayed in unprotected?”

“This was everywhere?!”

“God, can you stop asking stupid questions already?” Mary snapped. “Yes!”

No, Peter couldn’t stop asking stupid questions because he didn’t believe this was stupid question! Every single place they were staying at was riddled with bombs and they hadn’t bothered to tell him? What if he’d accidentally set one of them off? He could’ve been blown to bits!

Peter kept glancing over his shoulder, half-expecting to see someone to run after them, but saw no one.

An electric discharge went off somewhere ahead, followed by a loud clang of a suit. No, Peter thought as he rounded the corner. If his lungs haven’t required the extra oxygen, he would’ve let out a sigh of sick relief. That wasn’t Iron Man’s suit lying on the floor, but War Machine’s.

Richard was at their side in an instant, giving Mary a quick peck on the lips. “Don’t dawdle!” he barked at Peter as he turned around and ran.

“Won’t you finish him off?” Mary asked.

“No time. We have to hurry; the whole damn place is surrounded by Shield. Stark’s suit is disabled, Barton is trapped in one room, but Wilson is still circling somewhere outside.”

“Three of them fell through the floor.”

“And what happened to him?”

“He almost fell through the floor too.”

“Idiot.”

They entered a vast room where the weird helicopter thingy was. Peter, silently putting the lid on his bubbling anger, almost didn’t notice when his parents stopped dead in their tracks.

“Looks like this is the end.” Mr. Stark, albeit a bit roughed up and bloody and with a single gauntlet, standing in front of their escape vehicle. “You might want to stop running. I disabled the thing and now we just have to wait for other to get here.” His eyes met Peter’s. “Hey, kid.”

“Hey,” Peter replied quietly.

“Well, looks like your chance came earlier than we thought,” Richard said and gave Peter a slight shove forward. Almost like he was hiding behind him. “One gauntlet will have to make do for you. There is no such thing as honorable fight when it comes to the likes of him. So, go, Spider. Kill him.”

After a brief hesitation, Peter began to advance. He didn’t want to, but he couldn’t go against direct orders when his parents were present. But he already went against those. He took a step forward, then another. Mr. Stark wasn’t moving. Instead, he kept looking at him with so much sincerity and softness, it sent Peter’s emotions into overdrive.

Peter stopped within leaping distance. “Please, fight back,” he whispered.

“No,” Mr. Stark replied.

“Please.” He felt his face crumbling.

Mr. Stark’s eyes softened even more. “I won’t fight you, Pete. You deserve better. You are better.”

Was he better? Could Mr. Stark claim that after knowing him so short?

“I don’t know,” he said almost inaudibly.

“This is taking too long,” Richard grumbled. Peter heard a safety going off and he didn’t have to turn around to see the gun aimed right at Mr. Stark’s chest.

Before Peter knew what he was doing, he was moving.

Bang!

The shot echoed in the room and the next thing Peter knew, he was lying on top of Mr. Stark. He heard something rolling on the ground. The tracker. Not feeling any pain, Peter pushed himself up but still stayed in front of Mr. Stark, his eyes searching for the blinking tracker that came to a stop at his mother’s feet.

Deafening silence followed.

Explaining why he saved Mr. Stark was one thing, but he had no idea how he’ll explain this one.

“You,” Mary said lowly before realization her face contorted with fury. “You called them here.”

Another shot went off before Peter had a chance to open his mouth. He cried out as the bullet hit his arm, sending droplets of blood flying.

“Peter!” Mr. Stark was on his knees, the charging gauntlet raised. Richard threw another short-circuiting device to them and the gauntlet shut down. Peter heard Mr. Stark mutter a curse under his breath as Mary advanced.

“You betray us like this? after everything we’ve done for you?”

This was it, wasn’t it? He was hurt and Mr. Stark was out of his suit. They had weapons. But-

Peter was a weapon as well.

And his parents were only humans… unlike him. Peter wanted to laugh. All this time spent in fear of them, only to realize that all this time, he could’ve easily fought back.

“This is your last fuck-up.”

Peter leaped into action. The shock on his mother’s face as he kicked the gun out of her hand was so satisfying, it almost made the pain in his arm disappear. Peter didn’t waste a second. He spun around and kicked Mary right in the chest, sending her flying into the wall. She slumped down, unconscious.

His spidey sense tingled, warning Peter about another oncoming shots. He closed his eyes and let his sense guide him towards his father who was trying and failing to land a single bullet on him.

When he heard the click of empty magazine, he lunged forward. Richard’s arm went back. Peter knew him well enough to know that he was getting ready to punch him. Well, too bad for him. Peter roughly gripped Richard’s wrist with his injured arm, his other hand closing around his throat and pinning him to the wall.

“No more,” he hissed as years of something that was buried deep inside of him came to the surface. He squeezed harder. “No more.”

Richard weakly gripped the hand around her throat, fruitlessly trying to pry it off. Peter’s eyes narrowed. Seriously? He felt respect… no… no respect. Fear. He felt fear for him? It would be so easy to snap his neck right now. Based on the fear in his father’s eyes, he realized it too. Good, Peter thought.

A hand landed lightly on his shoulder. “Peter.”

Peter didn’t turn around.

“Kid, don’t do this.”

He deserved it.

“Pete,” Mr. Stark said softly, “I know you’re not a killer. I know you’re angry for what they did, but if you do this… there will be no coming back for you.”

Peter squeezed his eyes shut, then released his father and took a step back. His hands were shaking.

“Good, good. You did the right thing.”

Peter couldn’t tear his eyes from Richards’s coughing form. There were footsteps approaching. Too many. Too loud. The arms returned – one on his shoulder, one on his back.

“Let’s get you out of here.”

Peter gladly let himself be steered away.

The place was a mess. The Shield agents were running around coordinating the search, marking the damaged parts and tending to the wounded.

Tony himself had his hands full with a certain spider kid. “You’re okay. You’re okay,” he reassured.

“But are you okay?” Peter asked.

Tony chuckled. “Come on, give me some credit. I can handle myself outside of the suit too.” For good measure, he gave the kid a slight shove.

Peter winced. Ah, that was right. There was still a bullet lodged in his bicep as a courtesy of his mother. “We better take care of that.” Before Tony could get attention of some medic, the kid reached into a nearby first aid kid, pulled out a pair of tweezers, set his jaw, took a deep breath and shoved it into the wound. Small grunts were escaping his throat as he pulled the bullet out.

“What are you doing?!” Tony called out at the same time as the bullet clinked on the ground and new wave of blood rushed down Peter’s arm.

“Had to take the bullet out,” the kid forced out. “More pain if it healed.”

Tony helped to ease him into sitting position before he could fall. He sprayed the wound to numb the area and stop the bleeding. The relief showing on Peter’s face was instant. “You’re so reckless. I swear you’re trying to get me into early grave when you act like this. And nobody would know a thing because it was natural—”

“I’m sorry.”

Tony cut off the lecture, taken aback by the sudden shift in Peter’s mood. Peter gaze was pointed down, not meeting Tony’s eyes. Gently, Tony placed two fingers under Peter’s chin and made tipped his head up. “Hey, I’m just joking. I’m not accusing you of anything. And besides, worse things have tried to put me to grave. They all failed, so I think I can handle one reckless teenager.”

“You’re not mad?

“Nope.”

“I ran away.”

“But you called us.”

“I didn’t have to.”

Tony reached into the kit and pulled out a bandage. “But you did and that’s what matters. Now sit still.” He was aware of the kid’s eyes on him as he worked. When he was done, he gave Peter another onceover. “Nothing else hurts? No other injuries?” Peter made a move to test his arm. “Nope,” Tony said and lowered the injured arm back. “Let that rest. So?”

“No. Nothing else. Just this.”

Sighing in relief, Tony stood up and offered Peter a hand. Peter accepted.

Fury walked over to them, Hill right behind him with a familiar pair of bracelets in her hands.

“What?” was all Tony managed to say. He watched as realization and acceptance flashed across Peter’s face. “Hold on, is this necessary? He helped us catch his parents!”

Peter brushed his uninjured shoulder against him as he approached the two. “I still ran.” He turned his back to Hill and extended his hands behind him, allowing her to place the bracelets on him.

Tony turned to Fury. “He’s not dangerous. He didn’t kill anyone.”

Yet again, Peter didn’t give Fury the chance to respond. “Even if I didn’t kill anyone, I still did a lot of bad things. One good deed won’t erase those, Mr. Stark.” The kid snorted, self-depreciating smile on his face. “God, I either did the best thing in my life or the worst mistake.”

“Kid…”

“It’s okay!” Peter said. The cuffs clicked together, the pull on his arm making him grimace. “I deserve it.”

“You little rat!” came a woman’s screech. Several agents were escorting – or more like dragging – Richard and Mary from the building towards the waiting cars. “You should have died in that experiment!”

“Just you wait!” Richard yelled. “Not even where you’ll end up being locked up won’t protect you from us,” he said once he noticed Peter’s cuffed hands.

“Don’t listen to them,” Tony said softly.

Peter shrugged. “A lot is going on in my head, so I’m kind of numb to everything right now. But… a small advice,” he turned to Fury, “I would keep them separate. It will make planning their escape harder. Plus, if the escape turned out to be impossible, they won’t be able to take the easy way out.”

“Easy way out?” Fury echoed.

“They’ve got something like a kill switch somewhere in their bodies. Theirs are interconnected, so they have to be together to activate it.”

Fury nodded. “Hey!” he shouted at the agents. “Separate them.”

More indistinguishable screaming and cursing and promises of revenge followed. Peter was seemingly unbothered by them.

“Hold on,” Tony said warily, “you said that theirs are interconnected. Does that mean you have one in your body too?” Please don’t say yes. The thought of the kid having a ticking time bomb in his body this whole time, and maybe his whole life, was unsettling. Please don’t say yes…

Peter nodded.

“Where?” Tony choked out.

“In my right ankle. It can be only activated by a set of moves and… well, when you get captured, it’s your hands that get bound. Not many people think about legs.”

“So all this time you could’ve taken the easy way out?” Fury asked. Peter nodded again. “Then why didn’t you?”

Peter contemplated the answer for a moment. “It’s only for situations where death is the only acceptable solution. They said they would come for me. They kept their word and…” he paused, something akin to a resignation setting on his face, “I don’t want to die.”

Maria placed her hand on peter’s shoulder. “We’ll get that out of you as soon as we can.”

Peter nodded for the third time, but this time, Tony caught something like a gratitude in his eyes. No wonder. Tony would have been grateful too if he was in the kid’s situation. He was yet again reminded of how much Peter’s been through in his short life. Just a kid, raised to kill and to kill himself if needed.

Maria began to lead the kid away, but Tony had to do one more thing before that could happen. “Wait.” He wrapped his arm around the kid, giving him gentle squeeze. Just as during their first hug, the kid stiffened under his touch. Tony was about to pull away when he felt something he hasn’t dared to hope for.

Peter melted into the hug.

The kid’s shoulders fell, his forehead resting on Tony’s collarbone. Tony ran one of his hands up and down Peter’s back. “You’ll be okay,” he whispered. “I promise.”

“Okay,” Peter whispered back.

Tony let go and watched as the kid willingly went with Hill to one of the waiting cars.

“Well I’ll be damned,” Fury shook his head in amusement. “You really domesticated him.”

Tony smirked. “Yeah. I guess I did.”

As it turned out, the Shield’s cells weren’t as nice as the Avengers’. They were smaller and the clothes weren’t as soft, but Peter did his best not to complain. He’s lived in worse conditions before.

Two loud knocks made him look up. The slate in the door opened and a tray was shoved inside. “Food.”

Peter jumped off the bed and went to retrieve his lunch. Prison food wasn’t anything extra, but at least he was getting enough.

“Hm?”

There was something on the tray that didn’t belong there. Peter reached for the package and carefully peeled off the brown paper, revealing a book. The Ask and The Answer. A delighted grin spread across his face. He never got to read the other two books in the trilogy since the whole situation went down.

It wasn’t hard to figure out who sent him the package.

“Thanks, Mr. Stark,” he whispered, opened the book and dug into the food.

The interrogations happened every other day. Peter answered every question he could, but he still felt bad that he couldn’t answer all of them. His parents – who were in the facility somewhere too, though he never saw them – kept more things from him than he’d originally thought. The names of their clients, sure, he never knew those, but as it turned out, there were about five other computers and twenty passwords he didn’t know about.

He'd contemplated asking them to let him try to get into those, but in the end decided against it. He could imagine how that would look on him.

And as promised, his kill switch was taken out. Peter let himself truly relax since he didn’t have to worry about the thing randomly malfunctioning anymore.

He wasn’t allowed to see Mr. Stark or any other Avenger. Still, every once in a while, he heard the familiar erratic heartbeat behind the one-way glass in the interrogation room.

The third book arrived the day after he finished the second one, along with the first one to keep the collection complete. With nothing better to do, Peter began to read the whole thing from the beginning.

If Peter counted correctly, today was exactly the month since he got here. More books kept coming, but the room was starting to get to him. He felt like he was going crazy. The interrogations also got more sporadic, so he didn’t get to go out that much.

Oh well. He’ll have to get used to it since this would be his life now.

The door opened.

“Wow, you look like you drank sour milk.”

Peter was on his feet impossibly fast. “Mr. Stark!” He stopped himself before he got too close. He didn’t need to get tackled because he seemed like he was about to attack.

Mr. Stark opened his arms. “The one and only. Now don’t let me wait.”

That was all the invitation Peter needed. He launched himself into the man’s arms, burrowing his face into his chest.

“Missed me?” Mr. Stark asked, amused.

Peter soaked in the warmth. “Eh, just a bit.”

“Lies. Everybody misses me a lot when I’m not around. But fear not, that’s about to change. Let’s go.”

“Where to?” Peter asked, dissatisfied that the disappearance of the hug. He trailed after Mr. Stark, hesitant at first, then jogged to catch up and glued himself to the man’s side.

“To the compound of course!”

Peter’s head tilted to the side. “The compound? But I—”

“Got moved into the brand new rehabilitation program for underage villains. It took quite a lot of paperwork and arrangements to get it done, but nothing we couldn’t handle. Your cooperation and good behavior helped too. Those,” he pointed to Peter’s bracelets, “will have to stay on though. No tampering with them, but we can get you a ladder to your hammock.”

“And my…”

“Lifetime in jail for them.” Mr. Stark ruffled his hair. “You don’t have to worry about them anymore. They won’t be able to touch you from where they’re going.” He wrapped his arm around Peter’s shoulder. “So, what do you say. Ready to go home?”

Home. Peter liked the sound of that. He smiled, all of the tension leaving his body.

“Yeah. Let’s go home.”

#marvel fanfiction #tony stark #peter parker #villain peter parker #irondad #spiderson

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dovewingz · 4 years

Text

moonkitti bramblesquirrel video: summary notes

please keep in mind that because i wanted to keep things shorter and, well, summarized, i included close to no quotes. moon uses a lot of quotes, so if you want evidence from within the text i would suggest skimming through the video. secondly, i didn’t include any of my personal opinions for obvious reasons.

link to video. content warning for discussions of abuse.

BRIEF SUMMARY: to say that bramblesquirrel are both entirely in the wrong is completely ignoring the consistent signs of an abuser that bramblestar exhibits, just as squirrelflight behaves like a victim of abuse. there is a clear power imbalance between them that has been present since the beginning of their relationship.

NOTES: about a 10 minute read

INTRO > the fandom has brought about a belief/take that squirrelflight and bramblestar are equally bad to each other. this is a compromise; a way to excuse bramblestar’s poor behaviour & find reason for him to treat squirrelflight poorly.

> the fandom consistently brings up reasons for him to treat her cruelly (victim blaming), as though someone being annoying is any reason to treat them badly.

> the fandom also jumps between using cat morals (the warrior code) and human morals to back up their opinions. when squirrelflight helped the sisters, she disobeyed her leader (against the code), but it was for a morally good reason. she was doing the right thing.

> there is a clear power imbalance between bramblestar and squirrelflight. more on that later.

THE NEW PROPHECY > squirrelflight doesn’t trust hawkfrost, and neither does leafpool based on previous experience. when she confronts brambleclaw about this, he believes that this is because of who hawkfrost’s father is. squirrelflight insists that that is not why.

> brambleclaw continues to work with hawkfrost, training in the dark forest with tigerstar (the one thing that he is upset with squirrelflight for accusing him of). he believes that hawkfrost is a good person, even when mudclaw reveals that he and hawkfrost were working together.

> brambleclaw doesn’t listen to squirrelflight’s concerns or take her seriously. they do not trust each other.

> throughout their hawkfrost-disagreement, brambleclaw continues to find excuses to punish/scold her. squirrelflight defends herself, acting aggressive/defensive. she’s growing closer with ashfur, trusting him and preferring how he treats her. >>> “that’s what you want, is it? a loyal warrior to follow after you and smooth all the thorns out of your pelt?” brambleclaw mocks her for wanting someone who will treat her kindly.

> brambleclaw continues to get more controlling and aggressive, while ashfur is overprotective and also controlling/babies her. brambleclaw is very cold and passive-aggressive towards squirrelflight & her relationship with ashfur. it is unclear whether ashsquirrel are mates or not, but they are likely in the middle phase (on the path to becoming mates but not officially mates yet).

> squirrelflight eventually realizes she still has feelings for brambleclaw (for some reason) and breaks it off with ashfur. leafpool receives a vision from starclan which confirms that they are bramblesquirrel shippers too! wow thanks starclan.

> to conclude: brambleclaw was projecting his insecurities about tigerstar onto squirrelflight (while also training in the DF with tiger). he pushes her away when she attempts to talk with him, and goes out of his way to boss her around/control her. squirrelflight was not intentionally trying to upset him.

LEAFPOOL’S WISH > brambleclaw isn’t treating squirrelflight like an equal. >>> “brambleclaw wants me to fetch soaked moss for the nursery, even though it’s an apprentice task. he hasn’t stopped giving out orders since firestar made him deputy!” /// “...treating me like i’m still wet behind the ears.”

> squirrelflight is having issues only a month into the (new, romantic) relationship. she feels patronized. there has almost always been a power imbalance in their relationship (apprentice/warrior and now warrior/deputy).

> when it comes to the three, squirrelflight states multiple times that she doesn’t want to lie to brambleclaw. she doesn’t change her mind until she finds out that she is barren and will never have biological children. starclan themselves tell her this, pressuring her into taking the kits.

POWER OF THE THREE and OMEN OF THE STARS > their relationship is solid until hollyleaf reveals the truth about her parents at the gathering. brambleclaw breaks up with squirrelflight on the spot, not understanding why she didn’t trust him enough to tell him.

> the question is, can we trust brambleclaw? he trained in the dark forest and never told her, he held a grudge against squirrelflight for months, etc. of course he had every right to break up with her, but squirrelflight rightfully had worries.

> after their break up, brambleclaw avoids, ignores and acts very passive-aggressively towards her. in forth apprentice, it is mentioned that they hadn’t spoken in months. their only communication was squirrelflight watching him longingly & sadly.

> before the tribe quest, squirrelflight asks brambleclaw if he has a message for the tribe. jayfeather detects something else in her voice, and he realizes that she wants brambleclaw to show her any kind of sign that he still cares about her.

> after finding out about the three’s powers, brambleclaw accuses her of lying, intentionally trying to hurt him, etc. they fight several times. then, suddenly, near the end of the last hope, they are on good terms. this is a pattern in their relationship: brambleclaw only treating squirrelflight fairly during/after a huge crisis has occurred. this time, it’s the last hope battle. after the battle, he trusts her and makes her deputy.

> why does brambleclaw suddenly trust her after treating her so passive-aggressively for a whole year? he manipulated and controlled her, punished her for hurting him, and there was still a power imbalance. he’s not just her mate, he’s now her leader.

> while brambleclaw gave her the cold-shoulder, squirrelflight acted very submissive and sad. she’s typically headstrong, independent and active. brambleclaw makes her act scared.

BRAMBLESTAR’S STORM > bramblesquirrel are not together and their relationship seems to work best this way.

> bramblestar chose squirrelflight as deputy because she has her own ideas and will challenge him. he’s glad she’s deputy and thinks she’s good at her job, believing that he would be “lost without her.”

> scenes with jessy are trying to show us that squirrelflight is jealous. during a couple of scenes, squirrelflight does act unreasonably and snaps at bramblestar, where jessy defends him. >>> “wow, is she always like this?” “yeah, pretty much.” - bramblestar and jessy > later, bramblestar and jessy go out together. when they get back, bramblestar forgets to tell anybody that he saw windclan trespassing for, like, 10 minutes. squirrelflight is frustrated, but even after he gets injured, she doesn’t scold him.

> after they help shadowclan, bramblestar understands why squirrelflight lied to him. she was protecting leafpool, which he gets because he would also do anything for his sister. he says he respects her and her courage. they also acknowledge that lion, jay and holly are their real kids. >>> “squirrelflight and i share a bond that cannot be broken” - inner monologue from bramblestar

A VISION OF SHADOWS > squirrelflight is pregnant, proving that starclan lied to her about being barren. bramblesquirrel have some casual scenes, although squirrelflight is a bit “toned down” / not as independent. this may just be because she’s not a pov character or because she’s getting older.

thats literally it

SQUIRRELFLIGHT’S HOPE this one is like 50% of the video!

> squirrelflight likes the idea of having another litter of kits and bramblestar gives her a vague response. it is important to note that she didn’t ask anything, she just mentioned the idea.

> she changes the subject, wanting to feel like they’re young again! bramblestar is serious and talks about the gathering. it is implied that they haven’t had fun in a while and that he isn’t giving her much attention.

> they discuss the skyclan territory dispute at the gathering. bramblestar doesn’t want thunderclan or skyclan to give away territory. squirrelflight gives her own solution, that there is territory above thunder and shadow. she believes that this is an open discussion for different ideas.

> after the gathering, he is furious at her for giving her own idea without discussing it with him first, and that skyclan will have to move again. he also mentions that the territory she’s talking about could have dangerous animals, and that warriors could die because of her idea.

> because this is a discussion over territory, squirrelflight mentions that the clans are getting bigger + that there will be new kits by new-leaf. throughout the entire talk, he had been growling and lashing his tail.

> bramblestar deflects and brings up something that she had already dropped: having more kits. he is scolding her, attempting to trivialize her feelings. he runs away, and squirrelflight follows him, trying to continue the discussion. >>> then he guilt-trips her, “isn’t being deputy enough?” he is accusatory and it is clear that he doesn’t want to have this discussion. > squirrelflight explains that she’s worried because she knows she’s getting older and wants another littler before it’s too late. to herself, she worries that because bramblestar has nine lives, he will live longer than her and eventually replace her. >>> “don’t you love me anymore?” she asks. could be a guilt-trip, could be a genuine question because squirrelflight feels unloved.

> afterwards, bramblestar apologies. he admits that he brought up the kits out of anger because he felt like she wasn’t on his side at the meeting. he says that he would love to have another litter with her, but squirrelflight can Tell that he doesn’t, he’s just saying it because she wants kits. she never brings up the topic of kits again.

> moon super briefly goes over the cycle of abuse: tension between the abuser and the abused (abused feels anxious), abuser lashes out, then afterwards feels bad/apologizes + there’s a brief “peace” period. this happens multiple times in the bramblesquirrel relationship, with hawkfrost, with the three, etc. something else to note is that every time they reconcile, they have a litter of kits, so it wouldn’t be hard to say that squirrelflight associates the “peace” period with motherhood.

> squirrelflight feels very guilty, like she’s replaceable, and blames herself. she goes over the argument in her head again. eventually, she and leafstar go explore the territory beyond thunderclan. squirrelflight feels bad about lying to bramblestar, but doesn’t tell him even when given the opportunity (running into sparkpelt). she believes that she is doing the morally right thing but knows that bramblestar wouldnt agree with her.

> while she’s with the sisters, she only grows more anxious, feels bad for the trouble she’s causing thunderclan, and worries about bramblestar’s anger.

> when thunderclan find her and bring her back to camp, bramblestar puts a restriction on her. if she’s “going to act like an apprentice,” then she must run every decision by him. no more going off on her own, no more “arguing” at the gathering. he is using his power as leader to control her. he threatens to replace her as deputy, causing squirrelflight to panic about how he no longer trusts her.

> later, bramblestar micromanages her. he orders squirrelflight to tell him how she’s organizing the dawn patrol and blatantly insults her methods. bramblestar is using a “trust exercise” to express his anger and lash out. squirrelflight defends herself, saying that she loves him & her clan. >>> “bramblestar was supposed to be her mate. why couldn’t he talk to her instead of trying to make her feel small?”

> after sparkpelt reveals that she’s pregnant and bramblestar mentions having kits to squirrelflight, squirrelflight snaps at him. she feels guilty about it. she also feels bad about not being happier for sparkpelt, feeling selfish, guilty for wanting something that bramblestar doesn’t, and scared that she’s never going to be happy again. she feels as though she’s making all the wrong choices.

> squirrelflight finds sunrise (a sister) injured and brings her to camp, knowing that bramblestar will be angry (as does the rest of the clan), but wanting to do the right thing. bramblestar refuses to help sunrise until he gets starclan’s approval, but it’s clear that he is acting out of anger towards squirrelflight.

> the message from starclan is incredibly vague, and bramblesquirrel disagree over it. squirrelflight insists on helping sunrise no matter bramblestar’s feelings, and bramblestar worries that helping sunrise will cause tension between the clans.

> when leafpool goes to help sunrise, bramblestar stands in front of her as a way to physically threaten her to step back. squirrelflight worries that bramblestar will fight leafpool just to stop her, so she jumps in front of leafpool to protect her. while this is happening, sunrise is dying. >>> “we can’t keep doing this. if you keep undermining my authority, you could destroy the whole clan” despite bramblestar’s words, squirrelflight wants to do what she knows is right. she believes that thunderclan is stronger than any leader/deputy disputes. >>> “why are you doing this to me? you’re my deputy. you’re my mate. you’re supposed to support me” /// “thanks to you, there’s not even unity in thunderclan anymore.” bramblestar guilt-trips her, unable to physically intimidate anyone into stopping. squirrelflight isn’t trying to hurt him, she’s trying to do what’s right.

> later on, bramblestar suddenly forgives her, but implies that he is willing to put the sisters in danger for what was previously squirrelflight’s plan. he wants to drive the sisters out by force. > tension between the clans grow, which sparkpelt blames bramblestar for. squirrelflight jumps to his defense. >>> “why are you sticking up for him? he’s hardly spoken to you in days. he’s been treating you like an apprentice. and you’re defending him! why are you being such a mouseheart?” sparkpelt says, making it clear that other cats are aware of bramblesquirrel’s toxicity. > bramblestar does not see squirrelflight as an equal. when he’s upset with her, he treats her as such, talking down to her, giving her apprentice-jobs, etc.

> bramblesquirrel haven’t properly made-up. squirrelflight is too anxious to talk to him, worried that she’ll make things worse or that he’ll lash out at her. she believes that bramblestar blames her for everything that’s wrong. as bramblestar plans the patrol to attack the sisters, squirrelflight hides away. he questions her about it, and she says that she doesn’t agree with what he’s doing, while bramblestar expects her to back him up no matter what.

> squirrelflight feels like he believes borders/battles are the only thing he cares about + bramblestar feels like the sisters are the only thing she cares about. he believes that he’s following the will of starclan. after that, squirrelflight apologizes to bramblestar and they say that they love each other. she supports him in front of the clan, despite the fact that she does not agree with what he’s doing.

> that night, she has a dream about kits dying in battle, and knows it was a prophetic warning. she talks to leafpool about this and they realize it was moonlight’s kits. they run ahead of the patrol, bramblesquirrel argue, they decide to attack then they don’t... it eventually results in squirrelflight’s death.

> [ moon skipped the starclan trial ]

> much like in other times, such as during the new prophecy and the last hope’s final battle, it takes a huge crisis for bramblestar to realize that he needs to treat squirrelflight fairly & apologize. he apologizes while she’s Dead, and once she wakes up he’s super worried about her. >>> “...don’t be sorry. don’t be sorry for anything. i was so worried. i love you so much. we should never have let things get so bad. i’ll never let it happen again.” even here, bramblestar is being manipulative, not fully taking the blame (”we”) and acting as though they are both equally at fault.

> from here, bramblestar is extra loving and supportive, defending her at the gathering. squirrelflight decides that she no longer wants another litter, she can be content with helping sparkpelt’s + the clan’s kits, plus she has bramblestar’s affection.

OUTRO/CONCLUSION my notes were getting less detailed by the end, but moon just reinstates some point she’s already made (as expected)

> bramblesquirrel follow the same patterns as the cycle of abuse. bramblestar consistently finds reasons to put her down and does things out of anger (even admitting to that). squirrelflight is constantly thinking about his anger and how he’ll lash out at her.

> there is a severe power imbalance in their relationship and there has been since the beginning. bramblestar does not treat her as though she’s on the same level as him.

> particularly in squirrelflight’s hope, the text presents squirrelflight as being in the right. she does what she believes is morally just, and bramblestar is shown as the antagonist. she constantly feels guilty and never even thinks of placing her wants/needs over his.

> it does not matter how many flaws squirrelflight has, it does not matter if she is annoying or entitled (she’s not) or bratty, she does not deserve to be abused. she is a victim of bramblestar’s abuse.

#i thiiink i got everything important?? please please lmk if youve seen the video and think ive skipped/skimmed over any key points #moonkitti #bramblesquirrel #abuse #cotton speaks #mk disc #bramblesquirrel disc

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elkian · 3 years

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I think what frustrates me the most about Boku No Hero Academia/My Hero Academia is how Horikoshi repeatedly picks up on social issues, but fails to engage with them in any kind of meaningful or satisfying way.

Now, I’m aware that Japan is socially different from the US and that he didn’t write it with American audiences in mind, or at least not the major demographic (it certainly sold well early on). I know it’s not fair to assume another society would have the same priorities and opinions of the one I live in. But this happens so much, so widespread across the series, I can’t help but feel it’s more than cultural in nature.

1. Ableism.

Midoriya Izuku is a disabled character. He is medically confirmed to not have a trait that the majority of his society has, a trait that the entire society is built around. Now there’s a whole Social vs Medical disability description that I’m not fully up on, but it seems obvious that on a societal level, Izuku is considered disabled.

And where does this take us?

First, within maybe a year of his diagnosis, he begins to be bullied. Mistreated or left out or treated differently than everyone due to his disability. Mistreatment begins to escalate, becoming physical in nature. And when the primary abuser in his life has grenades for hands, that’s even more serious.

How does society as a whole, rather than his peers, respond to this?

The teachers not only fail to stop physical attacks on his person, they lecture him on interrupting, on standing out in any way. His abuser, who again has the potential to kill someone without even trying, is constantly let off the hook and even encouraged by at least their peers, as someone with a “flashy quirk great for heroics”.

This isn’t the oversight of one school or one set of classmates - in the sludge incident, Izuku (who saved the victim without being seriously harmed or disruptive) is scolded, while Bakugou (the victim, whose power was used by the attacker to great destructive effect) is praised. Bakugou is praised for being born powerful, even though that power made him a target and, against his will in this case but not others, caused and causes severe amounts of damage and harm.

“Bakugou has great battle sense” comes up in the first UA combat class. Where did he get that battle sense? Combat never comes up in reference to middle schools or other society-standard education, which means he either was taught (very unlikely given all other details about him) or he harassed and harmed enough other people, other children, frequently enough to get good at actual combat.

Ableism is baked into Heroic Japan Society on such a basic level that this child becoming a weapon against other children is praised or at least considered generally good. One person with a born-in Special Trait is more important than however many weaker people were left in his dust, broken and burned.

And Horikoshi comments on this, on Izuku weeping and bemoaning how the strong overrule the weak.

And then he does

nothing.

Now I have seen some comments that in Japan, after a certain point bullying is considered a problem the victim is required to solve. Which... I’m not gonna comment on at this point, but even taking that perspective into account, this is absurd.

At the start of the USJ arc, Thirteen opens the conversation with “Your power can kill”. Bakugou has fine-tuned his grenade hands to the point that people praise his control, and yet never care about how he got where he is.

1b. Villains.

Horikoshi shows the origins of several villains. Notable here are Dabi, Toga, and Shigaraki.

Dabi’s father, a man with another Flashy and Powerful Quirk, a well-known Hero nearly at the top of the ranking, was abusive. This is shown over and over in flashbacks from Shoto, of physical and verbal abuse from his father, from his mother’s breakdown and subsequent harm to him. Touya is considered DEAD by society until his big reveal.

Toga’s Quirk, again the thing she was born with, requires blood. This has caused her to be treated as a “villain” - much like imminent-Heroics-course-student Shinso Hitoshi - until she apparently realized she could never make anyone happy, so she may as well do what she wants.

Shigaraki, as a four-year-old, suffered physically and psychologically from the activation of his Quirk. He was left to wander alone, with people saying “someone/a Hero will help” until AfO stepped in.

All of these backstories have elements of victimhood in them - Dabi was a victim of a man in a shiny Heroics veneer, a man untouchable due to his level of celebrity thanks to his Quirk. Toga was mistreated by her peers and possibly her family for a biological urge she couldn’t stop (blood banks exist, and she couldn’t have been the only person in Japan who needed or usedblood - hell, Vlad King is a blood-based Hero!). Shigaraki’s entire origin story could, in theory, have been stopped by one person giving a damn.

All of this reflects on a Quirk-obsessed, Heroics-based society. It even comes up in Dabi’s dramatics!

And it means... nothing.

There isn’t even a hint of “we should change society somewhat”. The bulk of in-universe reaction to these revelations was essentially a yawn and “read at 4:32 pm”.

What was the point, then, Horikoshi??

1c. Magic Bullet.

Hey, remember all that stuff I said about Izuku at the start?

So he gets cured.

And this isn’t, he gets cured and uses his new position to make things better for other Quirkless kids. As far as BNHA cares, there ARE no quirkless kids except for Primary Narrative Character Izuku, Primary Narrative Character All Might, and Unmentioned Omake Character Melissa Shields. Seriously, I think she gets mentioned in one panel after that Omake and that’s IT.

There is no narrative understanding of a greater quirkless society because as far as Horikoshi is concerned, there are no quirkless people in the existing society. Except for the two who matter most to the story and one who doesn’t matter at all.

It’s one of the most painful Magic Bullet Cures I’ve ever seen in fiction. “The main character is broken, and we fixed him, so we no longer need to care about him being broken that one time.” I seriously need to know if Horikoshi is remotely aware of how absolutely disgusting his primary narrative is. Seriously.

And back to Bakugou - it comes out, to All Might, in theory a responsible adult (though I’ve seen some p good arguments that he honestly... isn’t. At all.), that Bakugou physically, psychologically, and emotionally abused Izuku for the better part of a decade.

Bear in mind that Bakugou is supposed to be in the Heroics class.

All Might doesn’t care.

He doesn’t care! All he cares about is for his protege and protege’s old friend to get along. At no point does it occur to anyone in the story how dangerous it would be to give someone like Bakugou free license to beat up almost anyone he wants - even though we keep seeing the flashback of Shouto getting beaten by Endeavor, at no point does anyone in the story seem able to draw the extremely obvious parallels.

Like yes, Bakugou’s chilled out slightly since the start of the story, but that doesn’t make up for the harm he’s caused (hell, his introduction involves him looking like the head of a squad of villains while menacing two weaker kids!), that doesn’t mean he’s actually improved in any way. That isn’t consolation to those he’s hurt!

And in the first chapter he suicide-baits Izuku, the main character may I remind you, and Izuku comments on how that is a felony if he’d gone through with it! It is acknowledged at one point in-universe that Bakugou’s actions are genuinely harmful and even criminal, and then everyone just... forgets.

I’m so tired.

2. Sexism.

Mt. Lady’s intro (also, can we PLEASE talk about how her Hero name is Mount Lady???) highlights how women are treated in Heroics. Similar to what little I know of the Idol and Cosplay circles, positive attention from fans is how one rockets to the top - and sex appeal is the name of the game.

But we see her interview with Midnight. And it’s like... a terrible exacerbation of modern sexism, of having to look sexy and appealing but never, ever, acknowledge that you are doing so. It’s literally their stock in trade, their bread and butter, but they can never say those words out loud.

Also the fight between Mt. Lady and Midnight is so terribly stupid and Horikoshi in general is obsessed with any woman older than 20 lying about her age and refusing to accept that she might not be a teenager anymore... like c’mon man.

This crops up and is even lampshaded multiple times. Momo and Kendo have to do this dumb commercial at their internship to boost appeal, and it’s the first taste of that side of Heroics for them, and they comment on how weird it is and how they’re not sure they want to get used to it. Hell, in Uraraka’s fight, the most intense physical altercation we’d seen her in up to that point, people in the audience were underestimating her and had to be set straight by Eraserhead.

Sexism is baked in not merely to their society, but to the much-lauded Heroics portion of society, and it’s really insidious.

2b. Mineta.

Hoo boy.

The grape.

You knew this was coming. Probably wondering why I didn’t start off with it.

Sexism in the Heroics industry is a wide-spread, in-universe issues that affects how people act, think, and create their designs. It’s certainly based in modern social issues, but it does read as a very BNHA-specific issue too.

Mineta is the result of a particular attitude from the creator. And man, I dunno, maybe he’s popular in Japan? But he is the most hated character of the series in every fandom space I’ve been in. There is not a single person who seems to like or care about a single aspect of his character. The last thing I remember actually caring about him doing was in the USJ attack where he helped foil some villains. I guess he was kinda almost bearable in the finals too.

He’s supposed to have an arc about becoming braver and stronger as a Hero, but it just falls flat. “Hero“ is a bit of a nebulous thing in the series to begin with - without someone’s stated intent, it’s unclear why they might become a Heroics student other than it’s just, like, the most popular job to go into right now.

How can I care about him as a public servant when he refuses to develop any amount of respect for other people? How can I care about him getting braver or more popular when he’s just a terrible character? At his best, he’s boring. He’s an utterly meaningless character, and honestly what story there is would be better of without him. I don’t even mean with a replacement, I just mean gone.

And people agree! Do you have any idea how many AO3 fics are tagged “Minoru Mineta Doesn’t Exist”? Right now, 1,687.

Just checking today on October 18th, 2021, there are 917 fics tagged Minoru Mineta Gets Expelled From UA High School“, 3,382 of “Shinso Hitoshi Replaces Minoru Mineta“, and oh by the way, 592 of “Bakugou Katsuki Faces Consequences”.

Obviously there’s going to be overlap, and untagged fics, but the fact remains that Mineta not being a part of the cast is a pretty popular concept.

Here’s some of the problems the terrible grape introduces:

He breaks immersion. Because,

No one cares about what he does, except his victims. The victims, however, repeatedly complain and retaliate, and not in the cutesy tsundere way. In fact, most if not all of the female characters who have met Mineta respond to him in a unique, and always negative, way.

By allowing him to continue harassment unstopped, not even commented on, Horikoshi is giving the further commentary that one mediocre boy is more important than every girl in the class, combined. Mineta is constantly harassing them, including impeding them doing work via distraction or, as seen in the Sports Festival race, actively slowing down Momo while harassing her and taking tactical advantage of the situation.

And the thing is, Mineta is virtually the only character who acts like this! Most of the male characters are, if a bit too chivalrous in some instances, generally pretty respectful of their peers. This particular brand of chauvanism is only found in Mineta, constantly disrupts the study and efforts of many of his peers, makes at least half the class deeply uncomfortable, and is never confronted or seriously mentioned. Aside from that one time a five-year-old pushed him off a wall.

(Hey Horikoshi? Why did a five-year-old get a nosebleed after seeing the older girls? A five-year-old? Horikoshi PLEASE stop being gross.)

3. Finale

I’m sure there’s a lot I didn’t touch on, but man, I’m tired.

On a more general note, I feel like the narrative really got out of his control. What was that deal with the whole side company the LoV fought? It took like 3 volumes and I remember like 2 scenes and only Twice’s epiphany felt genuinely important in any way.

I also feel like the introduction of lethal consequences escalated way too quickly. Yes, there’s been some deaths here and there (and honestly even some of those were tonally out of place) but if you’d asked me at, say, the end of the Sports Festival Arc, “Big Bad’s kidnappee gets mutated and starts murdering dozens veteran pros in pitched, apocalyptic battle, children forced to confront him“ would NOT have been my assumption for the endgame. I’m very lost and honestly I didn’t even get to the part where Mirio actually showed back up bc I’m tired. I’ve heard a lot of female characters have been brutally murdered since then though, so, uh... yeah.

#elk text #18th #October #2021 #October 18th 2021 #ableism mention #abuse mention #suicide mention #bnha #im so tired horikoshi #plz use your brain for 2 seconds horikoshi #how can you come up with such detailed drawbacks and physical effects of quirks and yet can't brain 'maybe ableism... bad?' even once #i'm only consuming this series through fanworks anymore

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thebestpersonherelovesbucky · 4 years

Text

Blood is Thicker Than Water

Summary: Steve Rogers is a vampire slayer. Bucky Barnes is a vampire. They’re not meant to be no matter how hard they want to change that.

Characters: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes

Word Count: 4.5k

Tags: angst, blood, mention of past abuse, pining, star-crossed lovers, boys in love, ambiguous ending

written for @captain-rogers-beard‘s Flex Your Writing Muscles Challenge June 9th prompt

Prompt: Vampires

“I hope you haven’t been waiting too long, slayer.”

Steve glances up from his beer, his heartbeat picking up at the sudden company. All the noise in the bar probably isn’t enough to cover the sound of it either so no doubt Bucky can hear it with those perfect ears of his.

He tries to avert his gaze but can’t. He never can. Bucky is just so striking in every way. Five years ago, when Steve first laid eyes on him, he thought he’d been carved out of his own dreams. He’d never seen anyone like him. Long, lean limbs. Those lips the color of sin against his smooth, alabaster skin. Fluffy hair the color of a fawn and twice as soft. And his eyes. Good God, his eyes.

Steve had tried to dismiss them as gray. Just the color of a dreary day before it storms. But the more Steve’s seen them, the more he looks into them, the more he needs to acknowledge how wrong he’d been.

They aren’t gray. They’re silver, though, really, neither word does them justice. They are so solid, so bright, the exact lustrous color of a polished shard of a precious gem, and when Steve looks closer like he does just now, he sees the swirls of glittering onyx black and tinges of blue at the edges.

“You always keep me waiting,” Steve says, hoping to keep his voice even. “What else is new?”

Bucky’s mouth curves up in an amused grin as he helps himself to the seat across from Steve.

“Is that a turn of phrase,” he asks, “or are you really asking?”

He wasn’t asking, but now that Bucky brought it to his attention, Steve does want to know.

“It’s been two months,” Steve says. “What’ve you been up to?”

Before responding, Bucky pulls a flask out from beneath the folds of his overcoat, adjusting his silk cravat so that he doesn’t suffer the horror of having anything out of place. Always so impeccably dressed no matter how outdated some of it might be.

A touch of a more romantic time in history, Bucky always says. I can’t blame the world for losing its taste, but that doesn’t mean I have to.

Steve can’t help watching as Bucky takes a sip. A hard lump lodges itself in his throat when a bright red sheen left itself on Bucky’s lips. As if knowing Steve’s watching, Bucky makes a slow, sensual show of licking away the remnants.

“Want some then, slayer?”

Steve forces himself to look away. He tries to clear that lump but catching himself locked in Bucky’s gaze again doesn’t help with that. Bucky smirks.

“I’ve kept busy,” Bucky finally answers the question at hand. “Teaching, actually.”

“Teaching?”

“Mhm.” Bucky nods. “Artistic Representation of the Underworld, The Bible as Literature, and War, Lit, and Politics of the Italian Renaissance. Took over for a few professors at the university when they suddenly needed some…time off.”

Time off. That probably means Bucky made a very convincing suggestion. A simple whisper in their ear that now would be a perfect time for a vacation. Very hard to resist the suggestive power of a vampire, especially when unaware of it.

Taking a handful of peanuts, Steve chuckles with a shake of his head. He unshells one of the nuts and pops it into his mouth.

“All things you have personal experience with.”

Bucky rolls his eyes. “I’m not that old, slayer. I was not around for anything written in the Bible.”

Steve doesn’t know Bucky’s exact age. In fact, he’s not even sure Bucky knows his exact age anymore. He does know that he was around for the Renaissance and shows up in a few, more obscure, paintings from the era.

“And you, Steven?” Bucky asks. “What sort of trouble have you been getting yourself into lately?”

“None.”

Eyebrows arching, Bucky clicks his tongue in that knowing sort of way and Steve shrinks into his shoulders. He knows that look. Knows he’s done something that’s about to get him scolded.

“No?” Bucky says, and waits for Steve to amend his answer but, for the life of him, Steve can’t think of what answer he’s looking for. “Then what’s this I hear about you jumping out of a glass elevator?”

“You know about that?”

“Everyone knows about that.” When Steve doesn’t say anything else, Bucky huffs. “Would you care to share why you jumped from forty stories?”

This accusation makes Steve wince. Yes, he did jump out of a glass elevator, and from a very high height, but he did have a good reason.

“I was surrounded,” Steve argues, “by vampires. What’d you want me to do, let them–”

The growl in the back of Bucky’s throat cuts him off and Steve snaps his mouth shut.

“Are you being a smartass, Steven?”

“N-no, Bucky.”

“Good,” Bucky grumbles. “Why were you there in the first place?”

Steve scoffs. The answer to that is obvious and Bucky already knows it. It’s painted beneath the skin of Steve’s forearm.

It is in our blood, to slay every last one

“You know why I was there,” Steve whispers. “I had to be there.”

“Killing more of my brethren?” Bucky asks. “More monsters like me?”

Eyes dropping to the table, Steve’s brow furrows and he slowly shakes his head.

“I don’t think you’re a monster, you know that.” Steve looks through his lashes to see that Bucky’s crossed his arms. Still waiting for an answer to his more pressing question. “I wasn’t there hunting. I was there doing research.”

Bucky’s head tilts slightly to the side. “Research at a public building?”

“That’s right. I got wind that there was a Hydra Coven there.”

This makes Bucky fall back against his seat with a more understanding, if not surprised, look on his face. He drums his fingers across the table, those manicured nails tap, tap, tapping as he does.

“I see.” He’s dropped his gaze. Seeing things Steve can’t. A time before all this. Before he knew Steve. Before they were a them. “And did you find him?”

“No. But his War Dog was there. Gives me reason to think he’s in town, too.” Steve twists his lips. “I guess you still won’t tell me where he is.”

“You guessed correctly.”

“You’re impossible.”

Bucky sighs and peers up through thick lashes. That look makes Steve’s heart pound even harder. So innocent and anything but at the same time.

“Steve,” he says, softly, “you’ve got to stop this. You’re going to get hurt.”

“I’m a slayer,” Steve mutters. “It’s my job.”

Slayers have been around almost as long as the vampires they hunt. People born with the innate ability, the strength, the speed, to hunt the hunters. They joined forces to hunt together under one banner they called the Black Rose for the same sole purpose, pursuit, calling.

Generations have continued their sacred mission: kill all vampires. They’ve handed down one message: despise all vampires. They valued one truth above all others: all vampires are evil.

Each new generation is taught the arduous and painstaking art of slaying at a young age. Steve, like all slayers before him, had these three absolutes instilled in him ever since a vampire killed his mother when he was just three-years-old.

But Sarah Rogers, a slayer like him, hadn’t been part of the Roses, he learned later. Sarah Rogers, like Steve after her, defected. Became a traitor. Wanted to raise her son full of tolerance and acceptance. And would have, had she not been killed.

Of course, the Roses took him in after her death and never spoke a word of this, indoctrinating him into their way of life.

Vampires, he believed, were vicious bullies who preyed on the weak. They murdered and maimed for the thrill of it. They were mindless animals that didn’t care about the pain and grief they left behind.

A belief that changed drastically ten years ago when Steve had been sent to Romania–how so very cliché–in search of a particularly nasty coven. Only when he surprised them in a predawn attack, Steve didn’t find a coven of monsters. He found a family, the matriarch and sire willing to die if Steve promised to spare the others.

Steve couldn’t bring himself to kill them. Any of them. It wouldn’t’ve been right. He hadn’t gone back to the Black Rose after that. If he did, and if he told them when he’d found and done and now believed--that maybe not all vampires were the monsters they thought--they’d just brand him a traitor. Which they did anyway, eventually. When they found out what he’d been doing.

The inner workings of the underground vampire world are just as convoluted and corrupt as any human governing force, including the Black Rose. Steve had been raised and taught to fight injustice. He didn’t like bullies. To him, it didn’t matter what they were or where they came from.

Vampire or human, they all deserve someone to fight for them against oppression and persecution.

For the Roses, however, life is black and white. Good versus evil. Right and wrong. Vampires, to them, are a blight on humanity. Something unnatural. They refuse to see what Steve had come to discover that night all those years ago. Steve isn’t so sure they weren’t the ones actually responsible for his mother’s death.

Plenty of vampires are content to just live their lives. They hold jobs. Go to school. Have homes. Families. Friends. They don’t all kill those they fed from. In fact, most don’t.

Other slayers have joined Steve and his cause. So have vampires. Enough that they could officially call themselves a team. People who know of their existence like to call them the Avengers. A bit much, in Steve’s opinion, but who is he to argue on such matters.

“Steve,” Bucky murmurs, reaching across the table to place his hand over Steve’s wrist. His skin is slightly cold to the touch. “You don’t have to keep doing this. I’m okay.”

Jaw tightening, Steve turns his hand enough to lace their fingers. Across from him, Bucky’s gaze lifts to meet his.

“I do have to,” Steve replies. “He needs to pay for what he did to you.”

That last part is just a slip of the tongue. Steve doesn’t mean to say it. He does mean it. With all his heart. But his dedication isn’t meant to be reserved only for Bucky. In this, though, he can’t help it. Not after what’s happened.

Taking his hand back, Bucky drops his gaze to the table and sighs, his countenance vastly different than when he first sat with Steve.

“But he’s my sire.”

Bucky says this softly. Almost to himself even though Steve knows he’s meant to hear it. There’s a part of him--albeit a very small part--that sympathizes. He doesn’t understand, and unless he’s ever turned himself, he won’t ever.

It’s a strange relationship, the one between a sire and their vampires. The bond between them is said to be unbreakable except by death. Steve’s seen just how wonderful that bond can be. The protectiveness and companionship and love.

But he’s also seen the abuse it can lead to as well. The mistreatment. The manipulation. The loss of free will. Steve has witnessed vampires forced to do horrible things they’d never do all because their sire took control of their mind.

The same way Bucky’s did last year.

And many times before they met.

“I don’t care,” Steve mutters through clenched teeth. “He hurt you.”

As if this means absolutely nothing to Bucky, he shrugs and takes another swig from his flask with a shake of his head.

“He’s my sire, Steve,” he says in a way that makes Steve’s stomach turn, a way that suggests it’s simply okay to be hurt by his sire based solely on the fact that he’s his sire. “It wasn’t the first time. It probably won’t be the last. Definitely not a reason for you to be throwing yourself out of an elevator.”

“Bucky--”

“Because you do realize that you’re neither immortal nor invincible,” he reprimands. “My blood gives you strength but you still have limits.”

He did have limits. Not many, but some. Bucky’s blood gave him strength. It gave him speed. It gave him heightened abilities altogether. But, just as Bucky said, it neither made him immortal nor invincible.

The only reason Steve ever consumed vampire blood in the first place was out of pure necessity. Without it, he’d’ve died. Bucky saved his life the day they met.

Steve clears his throat and tugs on the neck of his sweater. He knows what Bucky’s doing. That he wants to change the subject.

“You saved me once,” Steve says. “Why won’t you let me do the same for you?”

“By allowing you to kill my sire?”

“He’s cruel, Bucky. He is manipulative and vindictive.” Steve’s jaw stiffens. “He’s the monster.”

Bucky blinks. A smirk curves up one side of his mouth. “Do you expect an argument?”

“Then why do you always defend him?”

“He’s my sire,” Bucky says again. “I don’t expect you to understand.”

It’s unusual, the way Bucky both hates and loves his sire. He’s never physically tried to stop Steve from killing him yet he still defends him.

“I wish I did.”

Steve shakes his head. He’s not exactly lying. He does wish he could understand. If he did, maybe it would make this easier.

“Why don’t we just get down to business, shall we?” Bucky asks. “You did have your reasons for wanting to meet with me tonight, I assume.”

Of course, he has a reason. He always does. One more than any other. Steve wants to see Bucky, always. If he ever decides to join him by his side, to stay with him and the Avengers, it’ll be the happiest day of Steve’s life.

Until then, Steve can only remain satisfied with the small doses a year he gets. When Bucky agrees to meet with him. Sometimes overnight. Sometimes a little longer. And Steve knows, with absolute certainty, that he’s safe.

Bucky believes Steve when he says he wishes he understood. To be honest, Bucky wishes he understood the bond between him and his sire as well. It’s a physical presence. A constant reminder that he feels all the time. His heart may not actually beat any longer but that tie he feels to his sire is close. It gets weaker when they’re apart. When they’ve not seen each other in some time, but it’s still there. Just…dulled.

It’s always there, though.

A tether that binds them together.

Or a chain that Bucky is incapable of breaking.

It’s warped, the way he feels about his sire, and he knows it, but he also knows it’s the same for most vampires. He has no love for the man. He won’t particularly care if Steve does kill him. In fact, he’s sort of hoping he will. Bucky just can’t bring himself to take an active part in seeing it happen.

“What is it you’d like to know?” Bucky asks. “Aside from where my sire is.”

Without another word on the subject of sires, Steve sets a manila folder down on the table and pushes it in Bucky’s direction. Bucky opens it. Finds pictures of a vampire in a prominent role of the human’s government. He smirks.

“Senator Stern, huh?”

“Did you know?”

“Only that he was a vampire.” Which Steve undoubtedly knew as well. “Is he Hydra?”

“According to new intell, yeah.”

This presents something of a problem. While the Black Rose wants to eliminate all vampires, Hydra wants to enslave humanity. With an agent of the Hydra Coven so high in the government, there’s no telling how far they’ve infiltrated.

“Okay, well.” Bucky slides the folder back to Steve. “I’ll find out what I can. In the meantime, have you had any luck with the Roses?”

The first time Bucky Barnes ever saw Steve Rogers, Steve had been lying in a pool of his own blood. The scent of it had caught Bucky’s attention when he’d been walking down the midnight streets of London. He followed it. Found the infamous slayer that had defected from the Black Rose. Bucky knew him on sight. Most vampires did.

Steve had already lost too much blood to be turned that night, so Bucky did the next best thing he could think of short of trying to get him to a hospital before he died. He probably could have gotten him to a doctor, but if he survived that way then questions would have been asked. Suspicions raised. Police called. A world of trouble for both of them.

So Bucky cradled the slayer in his arms, hoped he didn’t cause him too much extra pain--by the way he tensed and gasped and cried out, Bucky’s hope was for naught--and bit his own wrist. He held it to Steve’s lips. Steve shook his head and mustered up enough strength to push the offer away.

“N-no…” he groaned. Dangerously pale and trembling all over and dripping in perspiration. “I don’t wanna be--”

“Relax, slayer,” Bucky said. “This won’t turn you, only save your life.”

That was Bucky’s first brush with Steve’s stubbornness. When he brought his wrist, blood dripping out of the bite, back to Steve’s mouth, he shoved it away again. Bucky scoffed.

“Don’t be ridiculous, slayer,” he scolded. “Just drink.” Eyes drifting up to meet his, Steve whimpered when he tried to move. “C’mon, now, you’re in pain and you’re going to die. Let me save you. You’ll be no worse for wear when you come to next, I promise.”

Bucky could see the conflict that waged through him then. Steve didn’t want to die. He also wasn’t sure about accepting help from a stranger vampire and in such a manner. No doubt he heard all sorts of rumors about what it meant to drink a vampire’s blood.

Some were completely convinced that consuming vampire blood would turn them. Which was wrong. Without their venom to complete the process, it wouldn’t happen. Some thought it would make a human their slave. If that’s ever happened in the history of ever, Bucky wasn’t aware of it. Some said it would kill a human outright. That one made no sense. There didn’t seem to be any point in killing a human by having one drink blood when feeding from one would do the job a lot quicker.

This time, when Bucky lifted his wrist again, Steve took it and drank.

And drank.

He drank until he moaned against Bucky’s cold skin and shivered pleasantly in his arms and finally collapsed. Not out of fatigue or weakness. From the rush. The adrenaline and overwhelming sensitivity caused by Bucky’s blood spilling into his veins. Something similar to when Bucky was turned, though not nearly as intense.

The next time Steve opened his eyes, he stared up at Bucky with lust and hunger in his eyes. Another feeling Bucky knew. When he first woke up in his sire’s bed, all he wanted to do was fuck. Then fuck again. And fuck some more.

Steve wanted to as well. Even begged him. They did fuck, eventually. Not that first day. Not when Steve only wanted it because of the rush of endorphins and increased hormones.

They will again, Bucky hopes.

“No more than you have,” Steve replies. “It’s black or white with them. They don’t see any of the gray.”

“But they leave you alone?”

Steve shrugs. “For the most part.”

He’s unconcerned with them, Bucky knows, except for when they might do harm to a coven simply minding their own business. Because according to the Black Rose, they’re all monsters.

When Steve doesn’t say anything else and doesn’t indicate that he has any other news he needs to share, Bucky taps his hands at the edge of the table and pushes away. He can’t just sit around waiting for the slayer he’s in love with all day.

“You’re leaving?” Steve asks when he stands. “Already?”

“Did you have more business to discuss?”

Years of practice make it easy to keep the sacrifice out of Bucky’s voice. It sits there, though. Right in his throat. But he knows better. Knows better than to want what he can’t truly have. He’s a vampire. Steve is a slayer. They are eternal enemies no matter what shifts between them. It’s natural. The natural order of things.

How they feel about each other--or how Bucky feels about Steve, anyway--doesn’t change generations of beliefs. Even if Steve does love him, which Bucky suspects he might in his own way, they don’t work. Bucky’s life is eternal. Steve’s life, while prolonged by his slayer blood, is finite. Steve has no desire to be turned. Bucky has no desire to be without a mate his entire existence.

Together, they make two halves that will never be a whole.

“N-no,” Steve says, just above a whisper. “Not really. But…when will I see you again?”

“Sooner I suppose,” Bucky tells him, “rather than later. I’ll be around.” He walks away from the table then, about to disappear in the crowded bar. Bucky waves over his shoulder just before he’s swallowed by the throng of humans. “Au revoir, slayer.”

People part for him. An instinct. A chill that runs up their spine. A shiver that runs down their limbs. A sinking feeling that runs through their bellies.

As an apex predator, however, one right look--a smile, a beckon, a reach--his prey would follow him almost every time. Bucky hasn’t fed on warm blood for quite a while, choosing, instead, to buy it from those who collected and bottled it.

So as not to give in to temptation--too many bodies in one place made the scent of blood hard to resist--Bucky hurries outside. The second he’s out the door, he lights a cigarette. He isn’t exactly sure why he still smokes. It gets nothing out of it other than the comforting and familiar rise and fall of his chest as he breathes it in. Then again, it won’t harm him either, so he reckons there’s no point in giving it up either.

It’s snowing tonight. Soft, gentle flakes that glide out of the thick clouds above and glisten in the moonlight. Bucky’s feet don’t make prints in the bit of snow that’s settled softly on the ground. Other prints are there. People. Together. All sharing their loneliness in the company of others. Not like Bucky, who walks alone, not even able to leave his mark behind.

Unlike his sire, Bucky misses Steve when they’re apart. This has nothing to do with any physical link between them. Despite the bit of Bucky’s blood that runs through Steve’s veins, it’s just an ache within him. If Steve chose to walk away and never meet again, Bucky’s unbeating heart would break, but there’d be nothing he could do about it. He wouldn’t either, even if he could.

Bucky knows all too well what it means to have his mind wiped and new images placed within it. To be at the total mercy and control of another. It’s one sin he’d rather not tick off. If there truly is some sort of afterlife for him, he’d rather not be totally corrupted.

Still, he wants to be near Steve, but knows it’s a fool’s errand to chase such a desire so he doesn’t. Regardless of Steve’s beliefs, Bucky knows what he is. He’s a monster. And monsters don’t get happy endings.

Cigarette between his lips, Bucky sighs, and heads for the end of the block. Before he gets there, he can hear the unmistakable sound snow crunching under the snow. An instant after his ears make out the sound, his nose recognizes the scent. He can’t help the way his mouth tugs itself into a smile.

“What are you doing, slayer?” he asks, turning as he does. “I thought you said--”

“I lied.”

Steve doesn’t pause. He doesn’t hesitate. He captures Bucky’s face between those strong, slayer hands, and kisses him. He kisses him like this kiss will have the passion and love to drown out all the voices that try to destroy them.

Eyes still closed when Steve inches away--leaving his brow against Bucky’s--Bucky breathes him in. That sweet, sunshine that radiates from his every being. The warmth of his touch. The sound of his heart beating...thump thump thump.

Steve is breathless and panting. Bucky is not, though, he remembers such a sensation. The way the world could so easily take his breath away when he was alive. Alive in an entirely different way.

“Stay with me,” Steve whispers. “Please. Please, don’t leave me, Bucky.”

If Bucky’s heart could beat, it’d be trying to break free from its prison he’s locked it in beneath his ribs. Bursting from his chest to declare to the entire world how much he loves this man and the world would kneel before them in wonder and awe.

But Bucky lives in a world rooted in reality, while Steve--Steve and his dizzying optimism and ideals and warmth--lives in one rooted in fantasy. They don’t belong together. They are nothing but two hearts forever out of beat.

Over Steve’s shoulder, Bucky can see the trail of footprints he left in the snow.

One set of footprints.

“I can’t.”

Bucky remembers crying. He can feel it deep within his gut--a hurricane rushing through his chest and up his throat, even though no rain can no longer fall.

“You can.” Steve, forehead still against Bucky’s nods. “All you have to do is say yes.”

A tear does slide down Steve’s cheek. He understands the enormity of such a request. The sacrifice. The struggle. The risk.

“Please, don’t, Steve,” Bucky says. “You don’t know what you’re asking.”

“I do. I do know. I’m asking for forever with you.”

Gaze lifting to meet his, Bucky brushes a thumb at the corner of Steve’s mouth. Steve, eyes closing, kisses the finger before Bucky takes it away.

“Forever is a long time, slayer.”

“Yes,” he agrees. “And I want to spend it with you.”

Bucky breaks away from Steve and all his kindness and tenderness and all the peace he holds out in offering. He shakes his head and begins to walk away, leaving Steve and his confession hanging in the air to crystalize and crash to the ground. Before any shattering can happen, he pauses. Catches his breath which does not really catch for he has no real need to breathe. But he pauses and catches his breath nonetheless.

He goes no further. He doesn’t go back. Instead, Bucky stands there, holds his hand out, and waits. Steve’s fingers slide between his and they walk hand-in-hand. To where, Bucky’s not sure. Toward forever, maybe. Whatever that may be. If it can be at all.

As they do, Bucky glances over his shoulder. Sees in the snow only one set of footprints beside the empty spot where his should be.

“What is it?” Steve asks. “What are you looking at?”

“Nothing,” Bucky whispers as he turns to face forward again. “Nothing at all.”

And they say no more than that as they walk together into the all-consuming night of their forever.

#steve rogers #bucky barnes #stucky #vampires #marvel #flex your writing muscles challenge #kellsficlet #this one got super long

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melida-daan · 4 years

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ENL Writer’s Commentary: Chapter 6

In his teens, Obi-Wan thought he knew what made a perfect Jedi and thought he'd been a failure, barely scraping by. As an adult, he'd questioned some of that, outside the influence of his Master's constant criticism, but he'd still done his best to outwardly project what he thought a Jedi should be. He'd assumed everyone had known it for the lie it was, but apparently the one person who needed that knowledge most never had.

....

It was sacrilege, in this time, to think such things. Even the age at which Luke and Rey started training would have completely disqualified them, Anakin too old at nine despite blazing like Tatooine's twin suns in the Force.

This whole part is both my attempt to show a little more of what Obi-Wan feels about the Force and Jedi training in particular, after having lived so long both in and outside of the Order. What the contemporary Jedi Order practices was not always what the Jedi Order practiced and it certainly wasn’t what Luke’s Order would have practiced, so Obi-Wan knows a lot better.

I don’t think Obi-Wan was necessarily a wreck of insecurity that some fics show, but I don’t think he was half as confident as he shows (in a lot of the EU stuff, at least, we see him doubting his ability to raise and train Anakin well, for example). He was abused and neglected during his childhood and that has an effect on someone.

On Melida-Daan, there were no Temple Jedis, and it was Obi-Wan who followed the Force to each citizen with even the slightest hint of potential.

....

He tried to teach everyone techniques to shield their minds and the most force sensitive he gave creche games as training until they were ready to do more.

So one thing I’m kind of going with here is that there’s a level of midochlorian count required to be a Jedi, but a lot of people still have more than just...nothing. And also that Melida/Daan, in the state it was in, probably wasn’t having people checked for Force sensitivity, anyway. With maybe a hint of “people can become more sensitive to the Force with proper training” thrown in there.

Cerasi and Nield joined them, even, sometimes, and while they had no Force Sensitivity of their own, Obi-Wan was training them to feel the edges of their unexpected bond, to utilize the Force through Obi-Wan's own abilities. After a few months, they could not affect the physical world, but Nield was starting to feel the truth or lies in people's words and Cerasi had feelings, sometimes, like the slightest hint of Obi-Wan's precognition.

For example lol

This goes back to the canon where Cerasi and Nield are shown to have an almost preternatural connection with Obi-Wan from the start and that since he isn’t blocking his own Force use this time around, that’s a strong bond between them. Open and free-flowing, I feel like that would allow them to utilize parts of Obi-Wan’s abilities that maybe he isn’t using/doesn’t have time to focus on.

He wasn't even surprised it was Qui-Gon Jinn, suspecting Yoda's hand in that.

Yoda is the literal worst in the JA books. I very much prescribe to the idea he kept other Masters from choosing Obi-Wan and that everything about Bandomeer was basically manufactured to force Qui-Gon to take him on.

More often than not, it was Jango, lounging nearby and Obi-Wan could swear he heard the Force screaming “danger” at Qui-Gon every time he got too close to Obi-Wan. Even with the buy’ce hiding his face, his glaring was obvious.

Even without Galidraan being a total massacre, any traditional Mandalorian is going to despise the Jedi. Even moreso for the ones who are coming to care about Obi-Wan and know what Jinn did.

“No, it’s not. And if the Council had sent me to the ExplorCorps instead of the AgriCorps, I wouldn’t have even protested leaving.” Not entirely the truth, but not entirely a lie, either. “I have friends there, who I will hopefully be in contact with again someday, but my family is here.”

So in both the Legends/EU stuff and the Disney/canon stuff, younger Obi-Wan actually loved flying. There’s a point in the Master & Apprentice book where he has a hugely traumatizing event involving it, which is what started his dislike, but before that he learned basically everything he could about every type of ship he could. It was one of many reasons his assignment to Bandomeer made no sense, since everything showed he would fit better in the Corps that actually had to do with flying.

“Obi-Wan--”

“Archon.” Obi-Wan held back a sigh at Qui-Gon’s incredulous stare. “We informed you, Master Jedi, of the titles of the Ruling Three of Melida-Daan. You are also free to address Archon Cerasi, Archon Nield, and I as ‘your grace,’ if that suits you more.”

As much as he didn’t want another title, when dealing with offworlders they needed such formalities. They’d dug it up out of old holos, like so many of the rare glimpses of Melida and Daan culture, and decided it suited them better than trying to work around “governor” for three people.

Trying to come up with a governmental system that wasn’t overused, didn’t depend on me making up a bunch of words, and didn’t have any negative connotations in the Star Wars universe was really hard haha I play a lot of fantasy games, so “Archon” really amuses me. And “Triarchy,” which is what the ruling body is referred to going forward, flows a lot better off the tongue than some of the other options.

Also I love the power play of Obi-Wan reminding Qui-Gon that they don’t have any sort of formal relationship anymore.

“This isn’t...you can’t honestly mean to stay here! It’s been months already!”

“When did you start to miss me, Master Jedi? I doubt it was when you first returned. Or for weeks after that. Was it when you could no longer dodge the questions of where I was? When others mourned my loss? When your grandmaster scolded you for failing his plans again?”

Qui-Gon didn’t know what to do with an Obi-Wan who was both assertive and informed, anymore than he ever had.

I love tearing Qui-Gon apart haha JA came out when I was a teenager and so I’ve always sort of despised him, and none of the earlier Disney/canon we get on him makes me like him anymore, at least in regards to his relationship with Obi-Wan.

In the JA books, other people have to continually push him to try to get him to think about Obi-Wan during the time period of the Melida/Daan stuff, like to the point Bant broke down in tears over it. And then Qui-Gon continued being a complete dick to Obi-Wan after he got back, which this Obi-Wan obviously would know.

He strode to the door with a confidence his teenage self couldn’t have felt. Through the Force he felt Qui-Gon move to follow him and Jango step between them, keeping him inside until Obi-Wan could make his escape.

Later, Jango would pat him on the head in passing, but not speak of it. Somehow, though, half a dozen of his people would be there at dinner to eat with Obi-Wan and keep him distracted with hilarious stories from their exploits.

I’ll never not love Jango/the Mandalorians protecting kids (and part of that is comforting kids).

#enl commentary

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moonsp1r1t · 4 years

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8 Tips for writing an effective redemption arc (featuring Zuko and Catra!)

1. Consider what kind of redemption arc you want your character to go through

Generally speaking, there are two different kinds of redemption arcs your villain can go through; sacrifice arcs and temptation arcs. I will describe both of these, but ideally your character will have pieces from each in order to create a nice, well rounded arc.

A sacrificial redemption arc is pretty easy; towards the end of your story, game, or other writing, your character goes through something of a “waking up.” They realize that what they thought of events or their surroundings is wrong, or realize that what they thought they want isn’t really what they want OR need. Another way they could go about this is by realizing that through their ambition (or other motivation) things had gotten too far. For example, throughout She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, Catra’s goals have surrounded getting the things she feels like she has been deprived of her whole life; within the first season, this involves getting power over her abusive mother figure, Shadow Weaver. She then continues her climb for power within the Horde, but in the final season as she sits in a space ship and watches her home planet burn, she realizes that her push for power has gone too far and sacrifices herself for one of the main protagonists so that she could escape. It is essential that characters have a chance have a moment of realization in which they not only realize they’ve been evil or cruel, but also that they need to make amends in one way or another.

Temptation arcs are when villains waiver between good and evil throughout much of the story. They waver between good and evil, typically committing both acts that are beneficial to the protagonist(s) and against them before eventually permanently sticking with the side of good. This form of redemption arc involves lots of internal conflict within the villain. The second half of Book Two in Avatar: The Last Airbender is an excellent example, with Uncle Iroh really pushing Zuko to consider what HE wants and thinks his destiny should be rather than the destiny that Fire Lord Ozai had put upon him. Zuko constantly grapples with this and does both good and bad things that affect Team Avatar, such as freeing Appa underneath Lake Laogai and siding with Azula during The Crossroads of Destiny. An arc in which a character solely moves upwards or downwards is not that interesting. In order to tell a more powerful story that keeps the audience engaged, there has to be some variation- after all, if it’s all going one way, it’s predictable, and no one cares to see what could happen next.

2. Establish why your villain is evil in a way that makes them sympathetic

Villains who are evil for the sake of being evil are boring. They need to have a reason to be evil and to be motivated towards evil especially if they’re going to eventually turn towards the side of good. If a character is good and they’re just with the bad guys for no reason, their switch over to the side of good is ineffective and boring in a “why didn’t they just do that in the first place” sort of way.

When writing an effective redemption arc, your audience needs to be sympathetic towards them in one way or another. For both Catra and Zuko, one of the ways that the writers made the audience sympathetic towards them is through their abusive parental figures in Shadow Weaver and Fire Lord Ozai. The reasons that Zuko and Catra do the things that they do in opposition to the protagonists is because of the actions of their abusers.

Zuko is going against Aang, Katara, Sokka, and Toph for much of the series is because he has been lead to believe that the only way to gain the love and approval of his father is by capturing the Avatar. Catra, however, takes a different approach; while she craves the feeling of being loved and belonging, she has been put into a powerless position by Shadow Weaver enough times that she desperately wants power over her and works to climb through the ranks of the Horde in order to do so. A major part of their redemption arcs is when Zuko realizes he doesn’t need the love of his father and Catra realizes that her ambition has put her entire planet in danger of being razed by the dictator of the rest of the known universe.

Rising up against an abusive parent or an otherwise tragic backstory doesn’t have to be the only way to make a character sympathetic, however. There are lots of ways to make a character sympathetic.

3. Give the audience a reason to root for the villain too

If you’re planning to give a character a redemption arc, it’s necessary to make it so that they root for them from time to time. That way it will ensure that the audience doesn’t hate them when the time comes for them to join the protagonists on the side of good. If they don’t like them, even if the redemption arc is well written, it will seem forced in a certain way. This is usually accomplished by the presence of another villain.

For example, while Zuko is certainly the most prominent villain of Book One of ATLA, Admiral Zhao is arguably the main antagonist of the season. Fire Lord Ozai hadn’t even been introduced officially yet (besides being mentioned) so as the man that had the goal of destroying the Northern Water Tribe by killing the Moon Spirit. He repeatedly attacked Team Avatar throughout the season, with much higher firepower, more brutality, and lack of regard for civilians. Zuko, however, while he had similar goals in regards to capturing Aang, was much more “reasonable” when it came to other things, such as keeping his promise to leave the Southern Water Tribe alone if Aang agreed to go with him in the second episode. We also see Zhao being cruel to Zuko in multiple instances, even getting into fights. Because Zhao is more brutal and is motivated by greed over honor, the scenes in which Zhao and Zuko are fighting, the audience is rooting for Zuko.

Similarly, at the end of the first season of She-Ra, Catra fights against Shadow Weaver; in the scenes in which they portray the two of them interacting previously, Shadow Weaver is cruel to Catra, constantly scolding and threatening her. Despite both Shadow Weaver and Catra being Adora’s enemy throughout the series, in this fight the audience is genuinely rooting for Catra in this fight because until that point, Shadow Weaver has been the more cruel and abusive villain.

4. Keep up with them even when they’re not in direct contact with the protagonists

This may seem obvious, but if you’re going to give a character a redemption arc you and the audience need to keep up with them even when they’re not interacting with the main protagonists. It will not only allow the audience to see the progression, but it will also keep the audience from being confused when they show up suddenly on their side. It’s perfectly reasonable (and expected) for the protagonists to be confused, but the audience shouldn’t share that same confusion (unless you’re planning on having the villain’s redemption arc be described in flash backs or have them explain it in a long monologue).

For Catra, there are many episodes when we see her without Adora, Glimmer, or Bow, instead just being with Scorpia, Hordak, and Entrapta. This way we are able to keep up with her when she’s not fighting with the Rebellion, allowing us more insight into her thoughts, feelings, and relationships. We are able to see her drive people away in her desire for power, not realizing that she is looking for acceptance all along.

Likewise, Zuko in the beginning of Book Three doesn’t interact with Team Avatar; instead he is in the Fire Nation Royal Palace, with anything he could ever want, realizing that he is still unhappy. It would have made no sense from the perspective of the audience if the last time they saw Zuko was when he betrayed Team Avatar and his uncle in Ba Sing Se and then he just showed up after the Day of Black Sun and offered to teach Aang firebending.

5. Introduce a good influence

The villain needs something or someone that can help them inspire change within. It isn’t just enough to vow to stop committing evil and then all is swell; they need to genuinely learn from their mistakes and commit to change within. This catalyst can be something they haven’t previously encountered (giving them a new perspective) or something else that pulls on their heartstrings. Either way it’s something that needs to get their attention.

Zuko would not have been able to change as much as he did throughout his redemption arc if it weren’t for Iroh. Iroh is a great influence on Zuko, constantly encouraging him to think for himself and make his own decisions. Iroh wanted Zuko to be able to decide for himself what his destiny is instead of just fulfilling the destiny that Ozai had put upon him. Zuko also was able to gain perspective when he and Iroh are disguised as refugees, seeing that the citizens of the Earth Kingdom are not only real people, but also that they are afraid and hurt by the Fire Nation instead of like the propaganda that the Fire Nation is bringing greatness to the world.

For Catra, in a certain way, one of the final catalysts to her finally joining the side of good is Queen Glimmer. When they are both trapped on Horde Prime’s ship together, Catra realizes that she is the one that has brought him and his galactic empire to Etheria, which he has every intention of using as a weapon against the rest of the universe. She feels alone and isolated and the only person she can talk to about it from her own planet, who has also contributed to the arrival of Horde Prime in her own way, although she is being treated as a prisoner. Glimmer begs Catra to help her and, upon realizing the destruction she has wrought and all the bad things she has done, Catra does help her and states that she wants to do one good thing in her life. Catra knows that she has done awful things in her life but this is one of the first times that she is able to really admit to herself and others that she knows that much of what she is doing is wrong.

6. The reactions of others

If your character has been an antagonist for a long time, it makes absolutely no sense that your other protagonists would accept them. It takes a long time to earn people’s trust so even if a character does something dramatic like self-sacrifice many characters should be suspicious of them. It’s unrealistic to expect everyone to be buddy-buddy immediately.

After Catra sacrifices herself so that Glimmer could escape, Glimmer and Adora want to rescue her, but the others were quite skeptical, with Nettossa and Frosta actually attacking Catra until Adora vouched for her. Similarly for Zuko, he had to prove himself to the original trio by helping Aang learn an ancient technique of firebending, helping Sokka rescue Suki and his father, and helping Katara find the man that murdered her mother. Trust is not easily given, so if your ex-villain has been going against your protagonists for several seasons, trust is not going to just be given to them so easily. There’s bound to be a lot of distrust from those who have known them in the past, but some are going to struggle with that doubt more than others. It’s important to actually consider your characters’ personalities and rationale and stay true to how they would actually think, along with the logic behind their decisions, in regards to your ex-villain’s redemption.

It can also be helpful to add in some jokes made by the ex-villain or at their expense in order to alleviate tension or show that they’re starting to get along better with the other protagonists (ex: “That’s rough buddy” or “I can’t believe the whole time you were trying to kill us you had the cutest sneeze of all time!”)

7. Realizing they’re in the wrong should not be the climax of their arc

Your character realizing that they’re wrong should not be the final step of their redemption arc; in fact, realizing they’re in the wrong should be among the first steps of their redemption. The redemption arc isn’t about realizing that they’ve been the bad guy all along and that’s... it. There’s a certain level of atonement that needs to be done in order to be redeemed. At the very least the character needs to realize why they’ve been wrong after realizing that they’re wrong.

After Zuko realizes that he is wrong for trying to capture Aang and that the Fire Nation is wrong for prolonging this war, he takes steps to make things right. He confronts his abusive father, leaves his home voluntarily, and helps to train Aang in firebending among other things, eventually allowing them to defeat the Fire Lord. Zuko even apologizes to the entire group for his prior misdeeds.

Catra also has to work for her redemption. She realizes that she’s in the wrong, but even afterwards she persists because she believes that staying with the Horde is the best way that she can get back at the people who have hurt her, namely Shadow Weaver (for her abuse towards her) and Adora (for leaving her behind to join the Rebellion). It isn’t until she is captured by Horde Prime that she makes the decision to atone for what she has done by rescuing Glimmer and sending her back to Adora. Even after Catra is rescued, she is still making efforts to be better than she was before, saying that she’s working on controlling her anger.

8. Sometimes it’s not meant to happen

Sometimes characters can’t be redeemed. Genocidal dictators, fascists, and abusive family members are generally figures that should not be redeemed. Imagine the main evil antagonist of one of your favorite book series, television shows, movies, or video games announcing he/she/they have seen the light, apologizes for everything they’ve done, paying for funerals, reaching out to the families of those they harmed or killed in an effort to make amends or at least. They’ve promised to seek out religion and take up crocheting instead of killing and go to therapy.

It’s just not realistic. It’s a good thing to want to believe that there’s good in everyone and that everyone can be redeemed, but sometimes they just can’t. For some people, it’s not possible to come back to the side of good, especially if they don’t want to. Being good is a conscious choice that people have to make and sometimes people and characters will stick with being bad.

Not just anyone can have a redemption arc, which is why for the characters that are able to go through redemption arcs, it’s something fantastic when done right. Don’t try to force characters who can’t be redeemed to go through redemption arcs and save it for the characters that deserve it.

Have fun!

8 Character creation tips

8 Relatable character tips

#writing #she-ra #ATLA

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talpup · 3 years

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Summary: Yami Sukehiro just wanted to join the Magic Knights and make his mentor proud. He knew there would be trails. He knew trouble would come his way. Knew he would be faced with discrimination for being a foreigner and a peasant. What he didn’t know. Didn’t expect. Was that literal Chaos would come his way. That he and his mentor’s sister would be at the center of world ending trouble. Or that he would fall in love with his mentor’s sister and face more than discrimination; but the jealously of Nozel Silva who loved the same woman he did.

Please remember this fic is rated mature and has warnings of violence, abuse, sexual tension, eventual sexual behavior, and other possible triggers. For a full list of story tags please check the fics AO3 (link to that at the top of my tumblrs homepage).

If you read anything I'm offering this week it should be the chat in chapter 87 comments that I had with @XYZ25 over on ao3.

SERIOUSLY!! Their questions are always SO good and never fail to drive and inspire me; but this week things went off on a 'plot bunny' tangent about this fics version of Nozel eventually becoming Wizard King and Solid becoming King. To better understand Solid becoming king you'd have to read the thread and the way the line of succession works in this fic.

Anyway, I HIGHLY suggest you read the thread. @XYZ25 came out with the BEST PS that I could totally and WANT to build a fic around.

Chapter 88

Teris woke up squinting at the bright sunlight shining through her bedroom window. She wondered if only the night had passed or if she had been out longer. Taking it as a good sign the she was home; she washed her face, brushed her hair, and changed. She was still filthy and reeked of smoke, but a bath would have to wait until after she found out what happened.

Following her sense of Yami’s mana, she made her way to the Captain's office. Finding the door partially open, she knocked and entered.

“Good. You’re awake.” Jax greeted.

“Hornsby?” Teris asked, taking a seat next to Yami before the Captain's desk.

“No one was lost but their crops completely were, and the town’s as good a gone. Hage lost several crop fields but more than half were spared, and the town itself untouched.” Jax told.

“From the sounds of it the high winds you all had at Hornsby spread the Wild Fire far and fast. The Sorcery Lance’s that attacked us also didn’t hang around as long, nor did they go around lobbing jars of Wild Fire.” Yami turned in his chair to face Teris, expression hard as concerned eyes looked her carefully over. “What the hell were you thinking?”

Teris’ eyebrows furrowed. “What?”

“I told him how you tackled the Sorcery Lance readying to throw a jar of Wild Fire.” Jax told Teris.

“Oh.” Teris pulled at a hang nail. “Sorry.”

“It that an apology or a question?” Jax complained of her tone.

Upset and concerned as he was, Yami couldn’t stop his smirk. “She has a knack for that.”

“What the hell were you thinking?” Jax echoed Yami, scolding Teris.

“I—I didn’t. I just acted.” Teris said.

Jax ran a hand roughly over his face.

“Sorry.” Teris said in the same questioning tone.

“Damn right you’re sorry! You could have died. Instantly.” Jax’s throat bobbed at how close he’d come to losing another Vice Captain. Swallowing the emotion, he joked. “Where would I have been then? With Yami as my sole Vice Captain.”

“Captain’s right. This only works if one of use acts without thinking; and that’s my thing, you can’t have it.” Yami jested, squashing his needless worry. Teris was here, safe and alive.

Teris looked between Yami and Jax, easily reading their concern. This time her apology was genuine. “I’m sorry.”

“No more leaping at foes throwing jars of Wild Fire.” Jax told.

Teris couldn’t help but smirk at how crazy it sounded. But that’s exactly what she had done. She recalled the mans chard form crumbling to nothing beneath her and wrinkled her nose. She met Jax’s eyes remembering what the Sorcery Lance that had stood above her said him.

Jax looked away, seeming to read her mind. He cleared his throat and stood, suddenly needing some air. “Don’t let her take away and do anymore of my work.” He told Yami, exiting the office.

Yami grinned at Teris. “Yes, sir.”

Teris looked after Jax in concern. She had never known the Captain to date. Not that she had ever paid attention to his private life. But if what the Sorcery Lance had alluded to was true; remembering something like that so soon after his best friends death--

“They think the Spade Kingdom started the Wild Fires.” Yami said, breaking into her thoughts.

“What gave them that idea. The fact that Sorcery Lances attacked throwing jars of it?”

Yami’s lip twitched upward at her heated sarcasm. “Greywright said it was cause they wanted us to know they started the Wild Fires and did it in retaliation for Rayla’s death.”

Teris scowled. It was pointless telling Yami what he already knew. But even if they had killed Rayla, it would’ve been justified. Then again Rayla had said her King hadn’t known of her actions.

Teris rubbed her eyes, hoping this mess wouldn’t cause a war. Along with Sir Jorah, it would be Greywright’s job to make sure that it didn’t escalate to that. Did she really want such a job? Would someone come along during her time as Magic Knights Commander and create a similar mess to the one that she and Yami had caused? She hoped not. Even if Teris didn’t want the job, which she did, she didn’t have much of a choice. Only the rank of Magic Knights Commander or Wizard King would save her from banishment. She refused to have Yami fight to free her from her family. Even if the brother Yami would face was Fyntch and not Julius.

Yami looked Teris carefully over again. With her not having bathed yet, it was difficult to tell how injured she was. Clearly there were no terrible wounds and she didn’t appear to be in obvious pain. Still, he wished they could feed off of each others mana. It had been almost a year since they’d been able to do so. Almost a year since the Summer Solstice had churned the core of their mana so badly that they couldn’t trust letting their mana get near the others. It was like living in a too small cell; unable to take a full, deep breath.

Yami gripped her wrist, pulling her hand away from her face. “What’s the matter? Still weakened from playing catch with Wild Fire?”

Teris would’ve laughed if her head hadn’t been buzzing with everything she had learned the past few days. Jax’s possible tragic love life the least disconcerting discovery. She had barely begun to examine what had been done and said while they were captive in Rayla’s lab. She hadn’t even started to process what they’d been told about Advisor Ellara...

She tugged against Yami’s grip till it loosened from her wrist. Her hand slid down his wrist to hold his hand. His presence comforted her like nothing else could. His calm, sure strength sheltered and steadied her. With Yami, she could do anything. Face anything. It had nothing to do with the combination of their magic and the destruction it could cause. Yami was her anchor in the chaos of this world. With him at her side. With him as her home. She had the inner strength and will to face whatever came their way.

“They lied.” Teris said.

Yami frowned, eyebrows furrowing. “Who?”

“Greywright. Sir Jorah. Julius and Jax too I guess.” Teris said.

Her hand tightened around his. The other balled into a fists. Teris didn’t know if the built up mana would have killed Yami, or caused him to experience something similar to what she had gone through on the Summer Solstice; nor did she care. Rayla had put Yami’s life in danger. Fuegoleon and Nozel had been injured and put in danger as well. The fact that the Agents of Chaos had been the ones to find and help them left her with a strange mixture of anger, self loathing at her weakness, and a sense of indebtedness.

Swallowing those emotions, Teris said. “After the Summer Solstice, Sir Jorah said they would tell us everything. From the Agents of Chaos and what they knew of them, down to anyone else who had an interest us. Never once in that telling did they mention the Spade Kingdoms Magical Science division. Yet Greywright clearly knew of their interest when he spoke to Rayla.”

Yami pulled his hand free and leaned forward, forearms resting on his thighs. He hadn’t caught that, and understood why Teris would be upset about it. They faced so many dangers already. To learn that there were even more groups wanting at them only added to the danger. Yet what good would knowing do? Greywright had known of the Spade Kingdoms interest in them and had wound up in Rayla’s lab right along with them. They had thought they’d known the Agents of Chaos wanted them for the Winter Solstice. Wrong as they were, the Agents of Chaos had proven they knew exactly where they had been hidden and could get to them.

Yami shrugged a shoulder. “Maybe they forgot.”

“Forgot?” Teris echoed.

Yami scratched the back of his neck and admitted. “I’ve forgotten the names of all the other groups other than the Agents of Crazies. Maybe they forgot when telling us too.”

“Yami--”

“Do you trust them?” Yami cut in.

Teris stopped and blinked.

“Do you trust Julius, Jax, and Greywright?” Yami asked.

“Of course I do. But--”

“Then it doesn’t matter.” Yami said over her. At her expression, Yami plucked at her pant leg. “We’ve got bigger things, Ikigai.” When she didn’t respond to the nickname in the accustomed way, he sighed. “What’s this really about?”

Teris looked away. Learning that yet another group was interested in them. That Yami had been contacted by the page of Chaos at least twice and hadn’t told her. That the Wizard Kings Advisor was working either for or with the Agents of Chaos, and effecting Sir Jorah to some degree; and Julius, Jax, and Commander Greywright had kept it from them all this time. It was all too much. She was tired. Tired of the secrets. Tired of being hunted, wanted, preyed upon because of some supposed primordial power she didn’t understand, hadn’t asked for, and would gladly give up if it meant she and Yami could live in relative safety and peace.

“I don’t like secrets.” Teris said.

Yami licked his lips. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the page of Chaos sooner. I should’ve.”

“Damn right you should have.” Teris snapped.

Yami’s tender, loving eyes met her fiery ones. “You were already upset cause of that mess with Rayla. I didn’t want to worry you more.”

“Don’t you think I can take it?”

“Ikigai.” Yami gave a chucking scoff at the stupidity of such a question. Of course he thought she could take it. Teris could take anything. But just because she could didn’t mean she had to. It didn’t mean he wanted her to. What kind of future husband would he be if he didn’t seek to shield and protect the woman he loved?

“What does that mean?” Teris implored, a slight tired whine entering her voice.

Yami smiled, chuckling further. “You want me to start keeping record of the times that blasted thing contacts me?”

“Yami.” Teris rolled her eyes.

“Don’t sound that like. I know how you love your notes. You’re almost as bad as the paper sniffers in Magic Investigations.”

“Am not!” Teris playfully smacked him.

Yami laughed.

Teris smiled and shook her head. “You’re terrible.”

“Terribly in love with you.”

“Stop it.” Teris blushed.

“It’s true. I’ve got it bad. Bad enough to be willing to keep some stupid record if you wanted me to.”

“You don’t need to keep record. But if it starts happening regularly, I expect you to tell me. I really don’t like secrets.” Whether it was the timing. The way Yami was looking at her. Or the fact the she felt like a total hypocrite having said such a thing. Teris said. “Nozel kissed me.” Her eyes widened at her confession, and hurried to explain. “I didn’t want him to. It happened a long time ago. More than a year ago in the stables at Nova House. I didn’t kiss him back. I—”

“I know.” Yami said, ending her babbling explanation.

Teris stared, breath caught in her lungs, leaving her unable to speak.

Yami inhaled deeply, shoulders relaxing as he slowly exhaled. He hadn’t realized there had been a lingering weight from it all until it was gone. No doubt Teris felt the same relief. His lips twitched slightly upward, though he was unable to hold the smile. “I’m glad you finally told me. Glad you finally trusted me enough.”

“I trusted you.”

“Not in this. Not back then.”

“I—I--” Teris lowered her eyes and mumbled. “I didn’t know what you would do. I was afraid you might do something that got you in trouble. Afraid you might think I wanted it and led him on.”

Shaking his head, Yami muttered. “How can someone so smart be so stupid?”

Teris’ head snapped up at that.

Yami huffed at the temper in her eyes. “That’s right. I called you stupid.” He stood and pulled her up with him. “Do you think I led Rayla on? Wanted her to kiss me?”

“What? No.” Teris said, fiercely.

“Well then?” Yami’s arms wrapped around her waist. “I mean it when I say I trust you with him, Teris. That I trust you with anyone.”

Teris hugged him. Yami was right, she hadn’t trusted him enough in this or else she would have told him sooner. Guilt over the unwanted kiss and having hid it from him gone, she murmured into his shoulder. “I love you.”

Yami’s arms tightened around her. “Thank mana for whoever dropped you on your head.”

Teris pulled back and looked at him.

“It’s the only reason I can find for you loving me.” Yami said.

“Shut up and kiss me.” Teris pulled him down and kissed him before he could obey.

88.2

‘Trust me. I got this.’ Jax’s eyes squeezed shut at the last words he had said to the woman he thought he would marry. He had been cocky. A newly promoted Vice Captain taking his girlfriend out on date. He hadn’t gotten a ring yet but he had been planning to. And then a team of Sorcery Lance’s, looking for an escaped citizen, had attacked a nearby village.

Of course they had rushed to help. Jax was a Vice Captain, and Belinda a Senior Magic Knight.

Both Bronn and Julius had told him it wasn’t his fault; their various reasons sound and reasons Jax had given others who had lost a comrade in the filed. But his friends words had rung hollow. Belinda had been more than a comrade. And they hadn’t been out in the field. They had been on a date.

If only he had pick somewhere else for them to go. If only he had made them wait for back up. If only... If only... If only...

Jax’s hand closed around a scorched piece of fabric. Threadbare from years of being carried in his pocket. From being taken out and rubbed. It was the only piece he had left of her. A torn piece of her squad cloak that had ripped when a wave of lava from a Sorcery Lance’s attack had crashed through and took her from him.

Until last night, he hadn’t revisited that horrible day in over three years. Sure she still occasionally came to mind, his hand often drifting into his pocket seeking the last remnant he had of her when she did. But he had finally stopped reliving the terrible torment of that day.

Or so he thought.

“Thought I’d find you here.” A familiar voice sounded from behind.

“It was where I use to pick her up when we snuck out of base after lights out.” Jax said, eyes on the scrap of fabric in his closed hand.

“And left me in a sticky situation cause as Vice Captain I was expected to stop such things.” Julius said.

Jax huffed, slipping the fabric back into his pocket and turned to his friend. “Doing your duty or looking away while your friend and your future Vice Captain had a secret meet up couldn’t have been an easy decision.”

“It was easier than you think.” Julius smirked, shrugging a shoulder. His smile fell. “She would've made a fine Vice Captain. Certainly more fun and forgiving than Jon.”

Jax nodded, feeling silly at the tears that still gathered after so long.

Julius produced a bottle. “I brought her favorite drink.”

“That crap.” Jax laughed, despite himself, remembering how he told Belinda it was nothing more than rotten grape juice.

Julius pulled another bottle out from under his squad cloak. “I also brought your favored whiskey.”

“Now you’re talking.”

Julius moved beside him. The two men sat on the ground facing the stream that was part of the border for the Azure Deers property.

Julius watched Jax open what use to be Belinda’s favorite wine. “I should've been there. I’m sorry.”

For a moment Jax wasn’t sure if Julius was talking about last night or that terrible day. Seeking to ease his friend's needless guilt, he threw the bottles cork at him.

“Hey!” Julius wiped at the stain on his shirt.

“Like you can’t use your magic to fix it or buy a thousand new ones.”

“Not if I hope to cover your tab this month cause of that stupid bet.” Julius said.

“You’re only calling the bet stupid cause you lost.”

“Yeah, and?”

Jax chuckled. “You’re a good friend, Julius.”

“I know.”

“And humble.” Jax snarked.

Julius smiled, watching Jax lift the bottle of wine to his lips. “I know that too.”

If you do go to ao3 to read that comment thread, feel free to jump in with any ideas and/or questions.

As always comments and reblogs are VERY MUCH appreciated.

Next chapter snippet:

“Don’t toy with me! I’ll don’t care what memory mage I have to use. I’ll know everything you do even if it leaves you drooling and catatonic.” Jax said.

“Just make sure you don’t call upon Advisor Ellara Shaw.” Iban said, hands lifted in yielding submission.

#yami sukehiro #julius novachrono #Black Clover #light in the darkness

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recentanimenews · 3 years

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Wonder Egg Priority – 05 – Omelette Rice

Now that each girl and the group as a whole have had their spotlight episodes, it’s time to return to Ohto Ai’s story. While she’s exhausted and sore from her last battle, Ai’s mom insists she get out of bed for breakfast. Her mom also made her omelette rice for lunch and they’ll be having sukiyaki for supper. Ai notes that they usually only have sukiyaki on special occasions. Then her mom asks if she’ll have a “proper talk” with Mr. Sawaki today.

When Ai joins the others, it’s clear she’s in a mood. First of all, she’s skipping emphatically, then starts kicking a traffic cone around and then a sandwich board that she accidentally shatters. The other three are understandably curious what caused this change in her. The four visit the Accas, who inform them of a new threat: Haters, who disguise themselves as Seeno Evils but are far more powerful.

Haters are the result of the four girls “standing out” by their protecting the egg girls. “Those who stand out pay for it”, Acca says, reminding me of how conformity was also the best defense in Ikuhara’s Yuri Kuma Arashi. They present the girls with a different kind of defense: cute pendants that awaken when spoken to in Latin and imprint upon their owners.

Each girl finds somewhere private to awaken their “Pomanders”. Neiru’s is a snake, Rika’s a turtle, Momo’s is an alligator, and Ai’s is a chameleon. While envy and spite birth the Haters that attack Ai and her latest egg girl, those same qualities are like “bread and butter” to her Pomander, who proceeds to gobble one up. As a big fan of beast-taming in FFXIII-2, I like the extra boost they provide to Ai as the difficulty level increases.

In life, Yoshida Yae could see dead people and “strong grudges” no one else could. Because only she could, no one believed her, and she was eventually committed. The facility was full of the very thing only Yae could see, which do doubt led to her suicide. Ai tries to keep her safe by hiding her, but this time the Wonder Killer itself is invisible.

While it’s a little confusing at first, it becomes apparent that Ai’s defense of Yae and battle against an invisible foe comes after the “special occasion” for which her mom is making sukiyaki: Mr. Sawaki is joining them for dinner…and not to talk about school. While the sukiyaki is a clue, it still feels like an ambush, especially when Ai is still drying her hair from a bath when he basically invades her safe space.

Ai’s mom and Sawaki aren’t done with the surprises, as they announce to her their intention to start dating, if it’s okay with her. YIKES. Look, I get it, her mom is divorced and ready to find love again, and Sawaki seems on the surface to be a kind and decent guy. But your daughter’s teacher, who was a major presence in both her and her only friend’s lives prior to Koito’s sudden suicide?

The cynic, i.e. the Rika in me smells something rotten in the state of Denmark. Just as she supposed Ai’s mom used Ai’s need for counseling as an excuse to make Sawaki’s visits a regular occurance, leading to their growing closer, Rika has even darker concerns based on her own mother’s relationships. In her experience, live-in boyfriends always abuse their girlfriend’s kids—violently if it’s a son, sexually if it’s a daughter.

When Ai tells the other girls about this, Momoe is giddily over the moon, as it could mean she and Ai could be family someday. She does not take Rika’s aspersion casting well, and not just because Rika makes a distinction between how a boy or girl would be abused. Momo trusts her uncle, and believes Rika is letting her perspective curdle Ai’s. For him to use Ai’s mom as a decoy to get to Ai…she just can’t believe he’d be that way.

And yet…sometimes it’s the closest friends and family members who have a blind spot where their loved one is concerned—just ask anyone who was close to someone who has been #MeToo’d in the last few years. “[What they are alleged to have done] isn’t them” is a common refrain. The bottom line is, Ai seems most troubled by the fact she still doesn’t know what caused Koito’s suicide, and as long as the mystery remains unresolved, Ai will understandably feel uneasy.

And then there’s Neiru’s input, which is to draw in so close to Ai she can’t hide her face. She brings up Occam’s Razor—the simplest theory is the best—and wonders if the bottom line is that Ai likes Mr. Sawaki. From where they each stand, Momoe, Rika, and Neiru all have valid reasons for how they feel about Ai’s predicament. There simply isn’t enough information for anyone to be proven right or wrong.

All that is certain is that the uncertainty is extremely frustrating for Ai, so much so that after getting beaten by Yae’s invisible Wonder Killer, and Yae tosses her prayer beads that enable Ai to see it, Ai wastes no time taking out those frustrations on the Killer, kicking and smashing it into oblivion.

Before Yae also vanishes, she gets to experience the release and relief of having Ai embrace her and tell her in no uncertain terms that she believes her. For Yae, Ai was the only one. Upon returning home, she decides to name her new chameleon buddy Leon. It’s a bit obvious, but it feels right.

The next day, it pours. Ai’s mom comes home while she’s still in the bad, and scolds her for leaving her dirty clothes out. When she says she’ll turn out the pockets before putting them through the wash, Ai bursts out of the bath without drying off, dresses herself, and runs out the door into the torrential rain. When her mom asks where she’s going, she defiantly yells “SCHOOL!”

Ai keeps running, and by the time she reaches her school, the rain has let up and the sky has become clear and beautiful. She spots Mr. Sawaki as two other schoolgirls are saying goodbye to him. She runs up to him takes hold of his arm, and catches her breath. It looks for all the world like she’s about to confess her love, but she doesn’t. Instead, she brightly declares that she’s going to start going to school again, purposefully brushing the hair out of her face to reveal her blue eye.

Ai doesn’t give Sawaki an answer about whether its okay for him to date her mom. She also doesn’t have any satisfying answers about Koito; at least not yet. Depsite all that, she’s emerged from her cocoon after a lengthy hibernation, and to give ordinary school life another go. Not for Koito, not for her mom, and not for Mr. Sawaki…but for herself.

Perhaps she was “egged on” (I’m so sorry) by her mom and Mr. Sawaki’s announcement, but defending all the egg girls and hearing their stories, as well as those of her fellow egg defenders, and even Leon helped her put her own situation into relief. Avoiding school hasn’t brought her all the answers she’s sought since losing Koito. Maybe by returning to school they’ll reveal themselves…or maybe not! Regardless, she’ll move forward and live her life. I just hope she didn’t catch a cold running forward through all that rain!

By: sesameacrylic

#Anime #News #RABUJOI – An Anime Blog

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sometimesiwritebadly · 4 years

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The Lost Girl (Part 1)

Series Summary: The story of Raven, this first and only Lost Girl of Neverland. A long time ago she was a prisoner on a ship, and now she’s stuck on the island she helped create.

Chapter Summary: A long time ago in the Enchanted Forest, a young Killian, Liam, and Talia watch the stars. In present day Neverland, Raven runs into an old friend-turned-enemy.

Notes: Me? Starting a new series when I have two perfectly good ones? No I would never.

Ok actual notes now this is an OC story starting in season 3 of Once Upon A Time. It’s gonna have a little Peter Pan x OC, maybe some Henry x OC in far later chapters. But overall the story is more about my OC, Talia/Raven, than her relationships. In this story we’re disregarding the whole “Peter Pan is Rumplestiltskin’s dad” thing cause that was stupid. I’ll come up with something better. Also Henry is slightly aged up, I’m thinking around 15. I know this creates problems but i don’t really care :) Besides that there’s not much canon divergence for now, but once we get into seasons 4/5 whatever (idk IF the story will go that far into the show cause I only have a vague plan on the beginning and the end and the middle is a big old question mark) i’m gonna fix some shit *cough* frozen *cough*

Warnings: Heavily implied that the OC is a rape victim. I won’t ever go into any detail but it’s going to come up multiple times throughout this series. Not so much in this chapter, but depression/suicidal thoughts may come up in later chapters because of this. Language.

Word Count: 2.6k

Series Masterlist

Full Masterlist

~ A very long time ago ~

“Talia!” A young boy’s whispers, and his hand shaking her shoulder, woke Talia from her sleep. Talia slowly peeled her eyes open, to reveal a boy a few years younger than herself.

“Killian, it’s the middle of the night.”

“The stars are falling! Come out and look, Liam is already on the deck!” Killian tugged on Talia’s hands this time, pulling as hard as he could. Even though Talia was easily stronger than Killian, she allowed herself to be taken from her bunk at the mention of Liam. Liam, Killian, and Talia are the only kids on the ship, luckily all relatively close in age. Talia couldn’t help but develop a crush on Liam, who was only a year older than herself.

When Killian and Talia emerged onto the deck, Talia’s eyes were immediately drawn to the sky. Just as Killian had said, hundreds of stars appeared to fall from the sky in a way Talia had never seen before. Killian and Talia ran to the side of the ship to where Liam was already standing. The trio giggled as they watched the sky, pointing out their favorite stars and enjoying this rare moment of fun. Normally the time spent on the ship was the exact opposite; they were all servants, sold to work for Captain Silver until they could buy their way out. Liam and Killian were brothers, who had been sold to the Captain by their father. Talia was given to the Captain by her mother a year later, when her mother was in desperate need of money. The three of them spent their time cleaning the ship, and avoiding the abuse of the crew.

“I wish I could fly like the stars.” Talia said to the brothers, still watching the sky as the stars began to stand still once more.

“What do you mean?” Killian asked, looking up to the girl. Talia often teased him for his height, as she stood nearly a head taller than him.

“The stars are free. I wish I could fly away and disappear, like...like a raven disappears into the night.” Talia felt a tear develop in her eye, though quickly wiped it away, not wanting to appear weak. As she got older, Captain Silver and some of the other crew had begun expecting more of her. Talia wasn’t sure how much longer she could succumb to their requests.

“You would leave us?” Killian said, in a whisper so low Talia could barely hear it. Talia knew her answer, though she couldn’t form the words to voice it. How could she tell Killian, her best friend, the closest she’d ever come to a brother, that she would leave if given the chance? Before she could figure out her answer, an adult voice interrupted the night.

“Talia.” The deep voice caused all three kids to turn around, and they found Captain Silver had joined them on the deck. “Come. Keep me company tonight.” Liam’s hand found Talia’s, causing her to turn to look at him. Liam gave her hand a comforting squeeze, before releasing it. Liam and Talia had agreed to try and keep this part of her life from Killian as long as they could. He was still two years younger than Talia, and blissfully oblivious to the darker parts of life. But as Talia grew, the crew became less subtle about their eyes for her.

“Aye, Captain.” Talia spoke to Silver, leaving her friends for a night she’d rather forget.

~ Present day ~

Raven ran through the woods of Neverland, avoiding the traps she knew lost boys had set. She’d lost count of the days she’d been running a long time ago. For more years than she’d like to admit, Raven had been trying to find a way off the island, and rumor has it that Pan was close to finding the heart of the truest believer, which meant she had to get off this island now or never. If Pan really did have the heart, he’d soon be more powerful than ever before. She wouldn’t be able to hide from him any longer, If Pan ever found out what she’d done, he’d kill her on sight.

Luckily, right now she didn’t have to worry too much about Pan finding her, because his focus was on the newest group that had landed on the island. Raven didn’t know who they were, but her magic made it easy to sense them. They had magic of their own, both light and dark, that much was obvious. If Pan is distracted by them, she may be able to find a portal back to the Enchanted Forest without Pan noticing.

Raven slowed her run to a walk as she approached her hideout. The only place on the island that was hidden from Pan. She had a friend that had used it when he hid from Pan a long time ago, but he was gone now, and with a little extra protection magic, she’d made it her own. Her eyes moved up to the rock that covered the entrance, only to see a group of people attempting to get in. Quickly she drew her bow, and took aim. Her warning shot hit the rock just past the ear of one of the men, causing the whole group to turn towards her. It was a group of five; three women and a man she didn’t recognize, and one man she did. Hook.

“Hook, why the hell are you invading my hideout?” Raven said, pointing her bow at him this time. The other four were armed with weapons of their own; one woman even had a ball of fire in her hand, but she paid no attention to them.

“Your hideout? Last I checked Baelfire was the one who lived here, lass. And you were with Pan.” Killian’s words caused the group to look at her with even more animosity than before. Raven didn’t even get a chance to respond before a fireball was making its way towards your face.

“Regina, no!” One of the women yelled, but she quickly realized her words were useless. Raven moved her bow into her right hand, and used the left to easily catch the fireball before it could hit her. With a smirk on her face, she made the ball disappear. The strangers looked at the seemingly young girl with shocked faces.

“You’ve been gone a long time, Hook. A lot has changed. Especially me.” Raven briefly stopped speaking, and used her magic to move the stone blocking the entrance. “I’m assuming you’re looking for something of Bae’s.” Raven walked towards the group, slipping past the man and women who held swords to enter the little home. “His stuff is all here, help yourselves. Just do it quickly, you being here will bring Pan’s attention, and he and I aren’t exactly on speaking terms.” She had moved all of Bae’s old things into baskets, and so she pulled them out of their hiding spot and onto the makeshift table. “I don’t know what use they have to you, Hook.”

“We thought his things might show how he managed to get off the island.” The woman who spoke had held a bow, like your own, but she was the only one of the group who had actually put away her weapon.

“Bae got off the island?”

“You didn’t know?” Hook said, taking a step towards Raven and putting away his sword.

“When he ran from camp I was still with the lost boys. When he never came back, I assumed Pan killed him, or that he’d died trying to get off the island.” Raven paused, not wanting to accidentally reveal too much emotion behind her next words. “I’m glad to hear that he’s ok.”

There was an awkward silence after she spoke. “He’s not exactly-” The brunette, the nice one, spoke, before being cut off by another woman, who you assumed to be Regina.

“He’s dead.” Any hope Raven had previously was squashed in an instant.

“Regina!” The man she didn’t know scolded, only to be met with Regina’s glare.

“What? Are we supposed to comfort her? Lie to her? Hook said it himself, she works for Pan!”

Raven scoffed. “I used to work with Pan. I never worked for him.” While she spoke, Hook and the blonde woman were examining the drawings on the walls. Most of them were old, from Bae’s time in the cave, but a few were newer. Raven had added to Bae’s doodles over the years. “If there’s anything in here that’ll get someone off the island, I haven’t found it. And trust me, I’ve been trying to get off this island for a long time.” She said, beginning to pull stuff out of one of the baskets. The nice woman joined her, inspecting each item as she went.

“I’m Snow.” She introduced herself as she worked, looking at a coconut bowl before setting it down. “That’s my husband, David, and our daughter, Emma. That’s Regina, and it’s clear that you already know Hook.” She pointed to each person she introduced. David and Emma each gave Raven a nod when Snow spoke their names, while Regina ignored her as she rummaged through another basket. “What’s your name?” Snow asked kindly.

“Raven.” She could hear Hook scoff from across the cave, but Raven elected to ignore it.

“Hand me that candle.” Emma said from across the room. David grabbed it from the table where Snow had left it, and quickly lit it aflame before handing it to his daughter. Raven moved to the edge of the cave, watching as the group looked through Bae’s things and examined the wall. Emma and Hook had a hushed conversation about the drawings, while Regina, David, and Snow continued to look through the baskets. Emma turned away from Hook and spoke to the rest of the group after she finished looking at the artwork. “What’s all this?”

“Uh,” Snow began, “Just some cups and bowls he fashioned from things he found here.” Some of those items were actually Raven’s, but she decided to keep quiet and continue watching quietly.

“I don’t know how great a cup this coconut could make. It’s filled with holes.” Raven had already discovered the map that the coconut actually revealed, but she also knew the problem that followed it. So again, she kept quiet. She had no reason to help them, and she hoped once they realized there was nothing of use here, they’d leave and never come back.

“Uh, maybe it’s a tiny...colander.” Snow suggested.

“What’s a colander?” Raven spoke up. Snow waved it off, signalling that it wasn’t exactly important.

“Yes, because preteen Baelfire probably made lots of pasta.” Regina noted sarcastically, ignoring your question and rolling her eyes at Snow. While Snow glared at Regina, you noticed Emma figuring out the hidden map.

“Hold on…” She started, “Hook, snuff out that torch.” Hook followed her direction quickly, and plunged the cave into darkness. Emma connected the two coconuts, and looked up at the roof.

“What, am I supposed to be impressed that he made a night-light?” Regina made yet another sarcastic comment.

Raven, having enough of their slow place, decided to jump in. “It’s a map.” Unlike the rest of the group, who were looking at the ceiling, Raven’s eyes were fixed at the ground. She’d stared at that map hundreds of times, but could never decode it.

“To home?” Emma questioned, a slight attitude in her voice, “I thought you said there wasn’t anything useful here?”

“I didn’t lie. It’s unreadable.”

“Aye, She’s right.” Hook said. Raven looked up, shocked that Hook would even be willing to admit she was right about anything. “There was a short time in Neverland when Baelfire was aboard my ship. I taught him to navigate using the stars. What you’re looking at is the fruit of my labors.”

“Then you can read it.” Regina noted, as she glanced away from the map and towards Hook. For the first time Raven had heard, there was no animosity in her voice. Raven scoffed at her remark, causing Regina’s glare to return and land on Raven. “What?”

Raven looked at Hook as she quoted the words they’d both heard as children, “The best captains conceal their maps in a code.” Hook held the stare for a moment before he spoke again.

“Aye. He was an apt pupil.”

“So you’re saying the only person who can read this map is Neal.” Snow said. Even her hope appeared to be draining. Raven’s eyebrows furrowed at the name Neal, but she figured Bae must’ve done the same thing she had when he left Neverland; New life, new name.

“Which means the only person who can read it is dead. I told you, there’s nothing useful here.” Raven said. Emma took the lid off of the candle, before setting it back on the table and walking out of the cave, followed by Snow and David.

Regina continued to look annoyed, but shuffled through the last of Baelfire’s items. Raven decided to take this moment to confront Hook.

“Why’d you come back?”

Hook looked at her with an unreadable expression. “Why aren’t you working with Pan anymore?” Raven rolled her eyes at his question. Pan was the last person she wanted to be thinking about.

“We had a disagreement. Answer my question.”

“Pan found the heart of the truest believer.”

Raven drew a deep breath at this. Sure, she’d heard the rumors, but it’s different to have it confirmed. She’s really running out of time now. “I heard. What does that have to do with you?”

“It’s Emma’s son. Emma and…” Hook paused. “Emma and Baelfire’s boy.” Raven’s eyebrows shot up now. This was not what she’d expected at all. To learn that Baelfire made it off the island, died, and had a son who was now being held captive by Pan all at once is a lot for anyone to handle. Especially someone who has so much history with Bae.

“Pan took Bae’s son?” Raven could barely believe it.

“Aye.”

At this point, Emma came marching back in, followed by Snow and David. David took this time to relight the torch. The group began looking around again, she assumed they were trying to come up with some kind of plan, but Raven was hardly paying attention. She owed Baelfire so much, and even though every logical bone in her body said that she should just get these people out of her life, her heart knew she had to at least attempt to help. After all, she’d spent so many years working with Pan, her help had set Pan in the right direction to find Bae’s son. When Emma, Snow, and Regina made their exit Raven followed them, while Hook and David stayed behind a moment.

“I want to help you guys.”

“No.”

“Really?”

Regina and Snow spoke at the same time, glaring at the other’s response.

“Look, I know you guys have no reason to trust me, but I owe Baelfire my life.” Behind you, David and Hook exited the cave. She had the whole group’s attention now. “If I can’t pay back Bae, the least I can do is help his son. Plus, I really hate Pan.” Raven could practically feel Hook rolling his eyes behind her, but she kept talking. “And I spent more years than I could count working with him. I know him better than anyone. All I ask in exchange is passage off the island after we find the boy.”

“Henry.” Emma said, as she took a step towards Raven, “His name is Henry. How do we know this isn’t a trick? Can you prove to us that you don’t work with Pan anymore?”

“Yes.”

“How?” Hook spoke up this time, coming into her line of sight.

“Easy. I’ll take you to my grave.”

~~~

I hope this is a good first chapter! I had a hard time deciding when to stop lol, but i already have half of the next chapter written so hopefully I’ll update this one pretty soon :)

#once upon a time #once upon a time fanfiction #once upon a time fic #ouat #ouat fic #ouat fanfiction #peter pan #peter pan fic #peter pan fanfiction #ouat canon divergence #ouat season 3

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darkagcs · 4 years

Text

💀 * [ benjamin wadsworth + cismale + he/him ] —— have you met oliver garcia-moreau? they are a twenty-two year old junior currently studying history. they live on decker house, and word around campus is that this gemini is adaptable + intelligent, as well as neurotic + insincere. i wonder if they’ll make it out alive. switching languages mid-conversation. piles of half-read books. cigarettes held between trembling fingers.

well this took fucking forever but HEY GUYS!!!!! admin dana here to with her idiot genius child, oliver.

𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘

(tw: somewhat detailed emotional abuse, brief reference to physical abuse)

if you ask oliver where he’s from, he’ll basically short-circuit. born in serbia (in the good ol’ days of FR yugoslavia) to a mexican-french couple, and with a childhood spent moving all around the world thanks to his mom’s job as a diplomat, he doesn’t really have much sense of cultural identity.

on paper, being a diplobrat was pretty cool; by the time oliver hit puberty he was fluent in four languages, proficient in a couple more, and had already seen more of the world than most people do in a lifetime. not only that, but he lived only in the nicest houses, got the best education and was driven around in fancy cars, all expenses covered.

still, there were some downsides. some are obvious, like having to say goodbye to your friends and basically restarting your life every three years. others most people don’t think about, like how stressful it can be for a seven-year-old to attend political events where he’s required to behave perfectly or face the consequences.

no matter how many times his mother harshly told him to just suck it up and power through, oliver always panicked before attending any event of that sort, both because of how overwhelming being around so many people could be but also out of fear he’d screw up and make his mother angry — which he always found a way to do. still, with time (and his mother’s scoldings and slaps and pinches) he learned: he was not to speak his mind; when asked how he was doing, he was supposed to lie and say he was doing great, sir, thank you. he was to speak only when spoken to, and his interests — especially the most eccentric ones — were to be kept to himself.

as time went by, he mastered the art of socialising. he learned how to read any room, to charm anyone, to talk his way out of anything. he learned what people wanted to hear and how to say it. but most importantly, he learned how to hide his real self. he crafted a mask of perfection, presenting himself as the princely, polite young man his mother demanded he’d be — but still not one good enough to satisfy her.

she controlled every aspect of his life. if she didn’t like a friend he’d made, she’d forbid him from seeing them again. if she didn’t like a book he was reading, she’d make a show of tearing it to shreds. if he didn’t behave as immaculately as she wanted him to, she’d lock him in his room without dinner. but she always justified her own behavior. “you must learn how important image is,” she’d tell him. he’s still trying to unlearn these teachings.

for years his life was nothing but this cycle; moving to a new country, creating a new persona to match it, making some friends, saying goodbye, rinse and repeat. it was both tedious and exciting, and oliver hated it even if he’s grateful for so much of it.

he’d only been to the united states a couple of times before he decided to go to college there. there was something about america that just seemed normal. he applied to holloway on a whim; getting into college really isn’t that hard when you’re a rich polyglot with recommendation letters from world leaders. what is hard, as it turns out, is living life on your own when you’ve never had to do anything for yourself, and never got to decide what your next move is going to be. not only that, but being on his own has made him realise he doesn’t really have any idea who he is or what he wants.

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘

always proper and polite.

very persuasive, especially when it comes to authority figures.

great at reading people but only as long as he’s not emotionally involved, at which point he overthinks every little thing and is unable to get a clear image of what’s going on.

comes across as confident, but is insanely insecure with major imposter syndrome.

can come across as a pretentious asshole, not realising how privileged he is and far removed from most people’s reality his life has been.

at his core, a big nerd who’s incredibly passionate about his interests (especially history) but only lets that side of himself show with select few people.

king of overthinking. his thoughts’ thoughts have thoughts.

desperate for a purpose and/or direction. wants to make life count for something. feels completely lost and has no clue at all about what to do with his life.

acts like an extrovert because he’s been conditioned to do so, but is really more of an introvert and rarely shares his real feelings so he’s like an open book where 80% of the words have been censored out and another 10% is in a dead language.

actually pretty easy to get into his bed, though his princely vibe might make it seem otherwise. desperately craves human connection/doesn’t get attached easily/is afraid of commitment so really he’s more than fine with casual sex (though he’s the type to make them both coffee the morning after or leave a note for the other person instead of just leaving without a word).

𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎

(tw: illness?) partially deaf on right year from a bad case of meningitis when he was 13 that also left him with a slight limp. he absolutely hates it, despite it being nearly imperceptible.

learned spanish and french simultaneously while growing up, but feels more comfortable with spanish than any other language and usually speaks it when talking to himself. if he’s around other spanish or french speakers he might switch language for a few words in the middle of the sentence.

so much anxiety!!!!!!!!!!

really bad insomnia.

straight-A student now that he’s in college and studying something he’s truly passionate about, but was actually not very good in high school and mainly got accepted into holloway because of his background.

so bi it hurts.

mom friend energy. if he’s truly your friend, he’ll make sure you’re doing okay and taking care of yourself.

has superficial knowledge on an incredible amount of different subjects.

addicted to caffeine.

weed turns him into a conspiracy theorist.

an absolute mess. can’t handle the most basic house chores. won’t remember to do laundry until he’s down to his last shirt, changing the bed sheets takes him hours, can’t even boil water.

fascinated by old stuff and doesn’t care much for technology. barely even uses his phone. has auto caps on and texts like a grandpa in general.

awful driver with an awful-ler sense of direction.

actually not as rich as he sounds?? like he has money, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not like... yacht-owning levels of wealth. his family mostly just led a luxurious life without having to pay anything for it thanks to his mom’s job, so he finds money to be a confusing concept.

have you read the raven cycle? because not to be super embarrassing but a certain dick gansey might give u a sense of what im going for here. (also sprinkle some amy santiago in there)

HERE is here connection page, HERE is his pinterest board and HERE are some stats.

#holloway.intro #01. *･ﾟ∙ * the head is too wise; the heart is all fire / oliver.

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