#which means going back into emo edgy mode

[involuntaryspy-a]

bucky’s fuckable favorite iron man suits

1. model 51: model-prime

“I like that this one has a bit of black on it, I think it balances the gold nicely. And the bigger plates kind of give it a… knight in shining armor feel. I’m sure it’s exactly what Tony’s going for, being the dashing man to the rescue, and in this, frankly, it works. It’s got a very streamlined feel to it though, and while it’s not as flashy or tricked out as some of the others, it’s still… sexy, in simplicity. Big points for the fact that he can call this suit to come to him in plates and pieces, which I... may have some ideas for.”

2. mark 42

“This one is… okay, it’s a really close match for the model prime, I have to admit. It’s pretty sleek, and the coloring is just… Like, Tony looks good in anything, under an inch of grime or in the best tailored suit, right? But this? He just glows. It looks good on him, the black and gold. It’s just badass. I’d rather him wear this to date night than Armani. And nothing else.”

3. model 37: bleeding edge

“One word: undersheath. Yes, yes, any suit can have the undersheath, but this one is gold and literally molded to every nook and cranny. And then the suit goes on over top. Hot.”

4. model 8: silver centurion

“Those legs man. Miles and miles of legs. And honestly? I’m loving the silver and red color scheme. The shoulder pads, too, like, give him a nice hourglass figure? Like he’s lanky and I love it, but this makes his shoulders look broad. I don’t know man, he just looks shiny and sleek. Also the center chest piece isn’t the usual circle, which is kinda nice too, I think it adds to the whole… shapely figure he cuts in this.”

5. model 3

“What can I say, I like the nipple nobs. Actually, no I like a lot more things about this too–I kinda like watching a man get dressed in the morning and this is like that. The new armors kinda lack it–which makes them fun in a different way–but this is like… watching a knight prepare for the joust, and yes, I realize now that that’s something I’ve said twice about his suits but it’s just very apt. Also: a continuation of the legs for days. I think I might need to try convincing Tony to wear like… leggings around the house more…”

6. model 50: endosym

“This suit? Fantastic. Another silver suit, and a suit that goes on automatically, this time via symbiote. Oh, and that optional, you know, see through faceplate? It just frames his face perfectly. I mean I know they all do when the faceplate’s up, but this has the added bonus of having his face visible and protected. And the hair. Bonus hair points. However, there were some points deducted for, ah, personality issues. And the symbiote aspect, sexy as it is, is... questionable, at best.”

7. model 43: stealth armor

“Back in black, am I right? …Okay, whatever, this is–kinda emo, but honestly, still really sexy. Like, you know, everything looks slimmer in black. And with the silver, it’s a pretty classic color combo. The blue though–that’s actually not good for stealth, blue light is pretty bright. Not sure why red wasn’t the choice there. That probably would’ve let it move up higher.”

8. model 15

“If the other one was Tony’s emo phase, this is kinda like… baby’s first punk phase, with the spikes like. I don’t know what Tony was going through in his moment in life, but it’s like he was trying to be edgy and hip and… honestly I kinda dig it. I mean, the spikes are fairly ineffectual as any mode of offense, but it gives it attitude, sets it apart.”

9. model 25

“Shoulderpads and thigh highs? What’s not to love? Again, there’s the more triangular chest piece there, so that kinda makes this suit a bit different. And like, because I’m a real connoisseur of these suits now, I can see some callbacks–the circles on the hips for one, a nice little nod to his battery belt.”

10. model 34

“The only real comment I have here is that that forehead triangle makes for a really good kissing spot.”

#winter soldier:// headcanon. #shellheadtm #shellheadtm:// hold me close and hold me fast. #[ yes you better believe this gets reposted over here ] #[ with some minor updating ] #[ notice who is number 1 now huh ] #[ guess why ] #[ take a wild guess ] #file:// queue.

[worldwarvet-archive]

bucky’s fuckable iron man suits

1. model 50: endosym

“Okay, but that’s not his best picture... Whatever. This suit? Fantastic. It’s sleek, it’s dextrous, it’s form fitting. The action of putting it on? Sexy. Taking it off? Sexier. Having parts on and parts off... well a man can have some fantasies to that. Lights that change color? Pwew, mind blown. Oh, and that optional, you know, see through faceplate? It just frames his face perfectly. I mean I know they all do when the faceplate’s up, but this has the added bonus of having his face visible and protected. And the hair. Bonus hair points.”

2. mark 42

“This one is... okay, it’s a really close match for the endosym, I have to admit. It’s pretty sleek, and the coloring is just... Like, Tony looks good in anything, under an inch of grime or in the best tailored suit, right? But this? He just glows. It looks good on him, the black and gold. It’s just badass. I’d rather him wear this to date night than Armani. And nothing else.”

3. model 37: bleeding edge

“One word: undersheath.”

4. model 8: silver centurion

“Those legs man. Miles and miles of legs. And honestly? I’m loving the silver and red color scheme. The shoulder pads, too, like, give him a nice hourglass figure? Like he’s lanky and I love it, but this makes his shoulders look broad. I don’t know man, he just looks shiny and sleek. Also the center chest piece isn’t the usual circle, which is kinda nice too, I think it adds to the whole... shapely figure he cuts in this.”

5. model 3

“What can I say, I like the nipple nobs. Actually, no I like a lot more things about this too--I kinda like watching a man get dressed in the morning and this is like that. The new armors kinda lack it--which makes them fun in a different way--but this is like... watching a knight prepare for the joust. Also: a continuation of the legs for days. I think I might need to try convincing Tony to wear like... leggings around the house more...”

6. model 51: model-prime

“I like that this one has a bit of black on it, I think it balances the gold nicely. And the bigger plates kind of give it a... knight in shining armor bit, and yes, I realize now that that’s something I’ve said twice about his suits but it’s just very apt. I’m sure it’s exactly what Tony’s going for, being the dashing man to the rescue, and in this, frankly, it works. It’s got a very streamlined feel to it though, and while it’s not as flashy or tricked out as some of the others, it’s still... sexy, in simplicity. Also, again, I’m told this thing forms in plates, aka in bits and pieces, and if that’s true... I got a couple ideas on how to best utilize that.”

7. model 43: stealth armor

“Back in black, am I right? ...Okay, whatever, this is--kinda emo, but honestly, still really sexy. Like, you know, everything looks slimmer in black. And with the silver, it’s a pretty classic color combo. The blue though--that’s actually not good for stealth, blue light is pretty bright. Not sure why red wasn’t the choice there. That probably would’ve let it move up higher.”

8. model 15

“If the other one was Tony’s emo phase, this is kinda like... baby’s first punk phase, with the spikes like. I don’t know what Tony was going through in his moment in life, but it’s like he was trying to be edgy and hip and... honestly I kinda dig it. I mean, the spikes are fairly ineffectual as any mode of offense, but it gives it attitude, sets it apart.”

9. model 25

“Shoulderpads and thigh highs? What’s not to love? Again, there’s the more triangular chest piece there, so that kinda makes this suit a bit different. And like, because I’m a real connoisseur of these suits now, I can see some callbacks--the circles on the hips for one, a nice little nod to his battery belt.”

10. model 34

“The only real comment I have here is that that forehead triangle makes for a really good kissing spot.”

#file:: winter soldier { headcanon }; #shellheadtm #s: i'd build him a home if he'd let me { shellheadtm };; #file:: iron man { tony }; #[ look i the mun was pressured by my muse to make this ] #[ i had no say in the ranking ] #[ this is purely bucky's thing ] #[ he knows nothing about their actual usage ] #[ just purely how fuckable each of these suits are ] #[ idk what to tell yall ]

[grimtime]

The main plot of The Room is very simple and God I wish I lived in the universe in which it weren’t, just to see, what it would’ve been like if the director were allowed to go fucking ham on the script. It reads like something I’d have written when I was like 9, only to go back and remove the more blatantly unrealistic elements (pirates) and insert in a lot of what my 9 year old idea of Adult Drama would be. 

It’s about a woman (Lisa) who cheats on her fiance (Johnny) with his best friend (Mark), because she’s fallen out of love with him, and the inaction of everyone involved as well as the transgression itself drives Johnny to commit suicide.

I kinda wanna make a shittily edited montage with scenes of Mark and Johnny to Even In Death or My Immortal or something like that by Amy Lee but I don’t know how to edit video, so that’s out, for now. 

There are a few unresolved subplots as well which I’ll get to later. 

The film introduces the two main characters, Johnny and Lisa, by Johnny giving Lisa a red dress as a gift. If a man got me a sexy red dress as a gift I’d kill him. Fucking dresses and flowers and petals he’s just PERFORMING romance. He performs EVERYTHING with symbolic shorthand “oh, how do people act, men play catch I think? Eeeerrrrr then I will have my men play catch. In SUITS. Yeah this is humanity I fuckin’ nailed it.”

There’s a running thread throughout this movie, wherein Johnny’s primary mode of affection is incredibly materialistic, and his friends value him primarily for what he can do for them on a financial/material scale. #Crapitalism. Similarly Lisa is only ever valued by other people for her external appearance cuz all the men are thotty creeps. 

Blaa blaa fucking blaa dichotomy between realism crossing into surrealism Tommy Wiseau’s a misogynist and I can and will fucking make Lisa an interesting character blaa blaa fucking blaa nobody's going to read this fuck you. 

Lisa is the surreal element- every other character is pretty fuckin’ preoccupied in their social status and place in their society and maintaining it, bitch gets what she wants she ain’t about that conformity. I mean she’s also an adulterer but fucking hell I have to impose depth art is interpretive blaa blaa fucking blaa why did I delete my blog I don’t remember anyone’s URL LMAO. 

Anyway I guess there’s something to be said for Johnny destroying all his possessions at the climax of the movie. Once he loses his trophy woman to his best friend he has nothing left, does he? He really has nothing going for him. I mean he has his job still but when he loses his already pretty flimsy social life all he has left are his materialistic possessions and they can’t exactly do therapy at him. But his entire life is his job and what he can possess. Destroying the only things he has left is self destruction. SHE TORE HIM APART. 

Ripping Lisa’s red dress at the end is a symbolic murder-- because I don’t believe he ever saw Lisa as her own person. He saw her as another thing he could possess. A symbol of status he could dress up. A material. Lisa may as well have been a bit of red fabric. After all the momentum of the film often halts just to have characters comment on her hotness. Supporting this statement is the fact that, although she was lying about physical abuse, he does get pretty physical with her soon after. Foreshadowing? Fuck if I know, this movie wasn’t made competently. Was I written competently? Am I going to spiral before I die? Questions questions! All of them edgy! 

I wonder if there are any shitty fanfics written about Tommy Wiseau on wattpad. I’m not looking. But I fucking wonder.

Nevermind I looked and there’s “Trapped On An Island With Tommy Wiseau”. Fucking. Glorious. Why didn’t I pick THAT to over analyse? Holy fucking shit it’s amazing. I want to know where THAT story is going.

Whatever.

So anyway, people repeat themselves when they talk sometimes, and they do it in the movie as well. That’s cool. That’s good. That adds some naturalism to it. That makes it seem like real people talking and not actors. Yeah.

EXCEPT IT DIVES ASS OVER TEAKETTLE INTO SURREALISM! When those people repeat themselves in ways that don’t make sense as a shorthand way to progress the scene. It’s just a single step removed from [INSERT SOMETHING TO CHANGE THE SCENE HERE]. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

It’s something isn’t it. Damn. Yep. I’m chewing gum with the paper still on it just to see what happens. Hope it’s not poisoooooooon.

Aw hell I had to talk about the subplots. Iuno. INSERT SUBPLOT BLATHERING HERE. Danny took drugs. That was something. Amazingly the movie treats drugs and alcohol as bigger sins than attempted murder and assault! The characters do! Everyone does! Fucking glorious. IT’S NOT WHAT THE ILLICIT SUBSTANCES MAKE YOU DO UNDER THE INFLUENCE, IT’S THAT YA TOOK EM AT ALL! I forget what it means. 

YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, NOCTURNE-DOLCE!!!

Yeah. I wonder if I could construct a shitty emo poem using only lines of dialogue from The Room.

Don't leave I need you, I love you Everything is going wrong

You don’t want to talk to me

They trick me They didn't keep their promise They betray me, and I don't care anymore

You are TEARING ME APART

I don’t care

Everything is not okay

Don’t worry about it

It’s definitely shitty.

The more I think on it the more I realize that Lisa is literally the only character that develops as the movie goes on. I mean her development is basically “HOT ADULTERER IS EVIL WOMAN BITCH” but, yknow, at least she’s not like poor dumb Mark who has sex with her countless times and still manages to be stunned when she proposistions him for sex. 

Arguably she’s also the only character that shows any kind of agency; all the other characters seem to have their patterns. Mark asks her “why are you doing this to me” as if he’s a totally passive, blameless bystander, each scene with Claudette is exactly the same as the last, etc. The only character that really advances the plot is Lisa.

Lisa: agent of chaos and change. I unironically adore the PISS out of her dialogue. Check it the fuck out:  

You know, I really loved Johnny at first. Everything’s changed. I need more from life than what Johnny can give me. Suddenly my eyes are wide open and I can see everything so clearly. I want it all.

If he can’t give me what I want, somebody else will.

You have to take as much as you can. You have to live, live, live. 

I don’t see what the big deal is. Doesn’t everybody look out for number one? Don’t I deserve the best?

There is no baby. I told him that to make it interesting. We’re probably going to have a baby eventually anyway.

I am not responsible for Johnny. I’m through with that. I’m changing. I have the right, don’t I? People are changing all the time. I have to think about my future. What’s it to you?

Hot take: Lisa and Lola are the same character except one is a fish from Shark Tale and the other is Lisa from The Room. 

[sevi007]

THE VALENTINE BROTHERS SEVI. I DIDNT THINK THAT JAN WAS SO /gestures/ THAT IN THE REAL SERIES BUT HE IS AND IM DYING. The freaking, Konami code. I'm so happy. And WALTER, BEING A BADASS YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS Poor Seras tho..... Her bed ;u; give the girl her bed back.... (This has turned into a spam live blogging I'm so sorry;;)

Okay so I’m on episode 5 since ive been binging so hard and I am a concern its all gone to hell Sevi. London is fucked and i am worried about walter hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. vanwinke was really great tho. Also why does the scythe wielding person have to be a Nazi they’re so hot /sobs/             

HOLY CRAP THE MASSIVELY UNIMPRESSED LOOK ON INTEGRA’S FACE AS ANDERSON AND HIS CREW GO NUTS HAS ME SOBBING. Integra for biggest bamf alive holy he’ll. They’re a going nuts and shes just ‘having fun there I’m guessing?’ With the most bored and unimpressed expression. What a legend

Okay so has Maxwell always been this insane. Like. He’s literally starting a new crusade to murder all the people ever like. Im. The only one around him with any sanity is the little bowl cut kid that give him the papers. Alucard on that ship has me mentally singing back in black. He’s coming back to start a party. Also Integra giving zero fucks has me living. The cigar scene is so hilarious. They fear her power, too strong. And JFC ANDERSON, SAVAGELY BURNED YOUR OWN PEOPLE HOLY CRAP.     

Holy only did the scythe person invest all their skill points in illusion magic or something omg. And my girl Seras being the biggest BADASS!!!            

I now rescind what I said aboud the scythe person. No longer hot and I’m no longer sad that theyre a naiz. Rest in hell you sack of garbage. Stupid ass hand magic. You did my girl, and pip dirty. Also also, me @ this series in general: go to hell you did not need to do that to my soul. Why did you make me love these mercs and then do this to me. Why. Pip…. Why are you so loveable… I am also even more concerned about walter (I’m on ep 7 btw)      

Yep scythe person opinion is infinity rescinded. Gonna stab them personally.   

I am not okay. PIP YOU ASSHOLE WHAT THE HELL WHY. YOU JUST HAD TO GO FOR THE KISS TO MAKE THINGS EVEN MORE PAINFUL   

Oh wow Seras has a berserker rage mode holy shit and FUCKING DAMMIT PIP YOU GOOD MAN I HATE AND LOVE YOU YOU DEUS EX LAST SECOND AAAAAGGGGRRRRAASSSGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS SERIES IS KILLING ME                

 Maxwell is really just murdering everyone eh? While the major stand like a conductor on his blimp. I cannot wait until our home group turns them into mulch.                            

WHAT THE FUCK WHAT DID THEY DO TO WALTER WHAT DID THEY DO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA        

Holy shit one million respect points to Anderson for calling Maxwell out on his shit. What the hell I love Anderson so much he’s such a good. ALSO THE BOY IS BACK IN TOWN THE BOY IS BACK IN TOWN /guitar solo/ It’s all gone insanse and im having the best and worst time hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhb       

Oh man shits getting real Alucard is about to to absolutely beast mode I can feel it. He’s saying the bird of Hermes stuff             

OH BABY HE HAS PEOPLE BACK FROM THE DEAD WHAT HOT DAMN IT’S ALL GONE INSANSE ALUCARD HAS EATEN SO MANY PEOPLE OMG. WHAT THE SHIT HES SO HOT NOW. You know I should have seen this twist coming, his real identity and all but like. They’re so different wtf. This has gone off the rails in the best of ways                 

Wow Maxwell’s death… Almost hurt????? Damn dude. Also Anderson is just. Really good. I love him so much now.    

Damn this fight between alucard and Anderson is so good holy shit and they’re having such fun it looks like??? This is so fun I’m loving it. Anderson has gone a bit nuts tho. And I have a bad feeling          

I MUST REITERATE, WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO WALTER. WHAT THE FUCK. NO.    

They should rename Anderson to the human slap chop at this rate. He’s so determined it’s incredible. AND HIS BACKUP STAYED AWWWWWWWWWW Aannnd I think they’re naruto running I am sobbing over this. Also i wanna punch the major in the face. Make him eat my fist.         

What the actual fuck is happening I don’t. I’m so confused and upset Sevi. Why did this have to happen. (Okay one episode to go I think)    

Everything has gone incredibly wrong and I don’t like it. Alucard and Seras are on fire and Anderson has just done whatever the fuck he did???? AND NOW ALUCARD HAS JUST GONE BEAST MODE??? I CAN’T. THIS SERIES NEEDS TO CALM DOWN.    

NO ALUCARD IS SOBBING NOW WHY BOO. DAMMIT ANDERSON WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DO THIS. ALUCARD IS A DEPRESSED ASSHOLE ANDERSON STOP TAUNTING HIM. THIS SERIES NEEDS TO STOP HURTING ME                             

WHAT THE FUCK WHY ANDERSON STOP THIS YOU’RE HURTING ME       

I am in pain     

WALTER WHAT THE FUCK       

FUCKING NAZIS BRAINWASHED WALTER OR WHATEVER I’M SO MAD

JFC WALTER WHAT KIND OF ATTITUDE ARE YOU COPPING NOW YOU BITCH   

WALTER WHAT THE SHIT ARE YOU DOING, WHY HAVE YOU TURNED INTO AN EDGY MURDRY EMO          

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW    

 Man Integra and Seras are a pair of badasses. I’m so set for them to kill the major. Also the high coat guy intrigues me. I wanna know what his deal is. Is he a werewolf. I feel like he is. Also what’s up with that long ass pistol. That can’t be practical. YEP HE IS A WOLF THINGY I WAS RIGHT. Alucard is just summoning a tsunami of blood now. Alrighty then. And now I am worried since the major is happy about that.

Oh damn the captain guy is a big ass wolf. And also, I am very concern about Alucard. PIP YOU BACK FROM THE DEAD AGAIN JACKASS I LOVE YOU GO BEST TAG TEAM EVER!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

THE CAPTAIN IS HELPING HIS FOES WHAT. THIS WOLF MAN IS SO STRANGE I LIKE HIM

PIP MANIFESTED????? THE FUCK???? IM???? AND THE WOLF GUY WAS HAPPY TO DIE????? IM???????? SHIT?????? THIS HURTS?????

Wow cheating asshole major with his glass box. I want him to die. AND HE’S GONNA DO WHAT?????? OH FUCK THE CAT GUY I AM A FRIGHTEN

I am so worried and don’t like this.

Wow now I feel kinda bad for Walter. I mean, I’m still mad at him but. I want to major to die. Can I stab him. Please

OH BOY I DON’T LIKE THIS

Oh no he’s stuck in different realities now isn’t he fuck

Oh no    

HAH AT LEAST THE DOCTOR DIED. GET FUCKED. Fuck did they desecrate a woman’s bones I am so lost now. I am too tired for this. DAMMIT WALTER STOP MAKING ME FEEL THINGS YOU ASS. I need to lay down this hurts too much. Everyone’s dead and I am in pain. And kinda nauseous from it. OH SHIT THAT ONE VATICAN PERSON WHO WAS SHOT DIDN’T DIE. SJDJDJSJSISUD INTEGRA LYING TO PENWOODS GRANDSON IM DYING. Fuck I am in pain. And-FUCKER IS HE BACK. STOP TOYING WITH ME SERIES. STOP THIS. I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD                                                                                                                                                             

Okay, so, for people wondering: That were 41 asks right there. Quick apology to mobile users, but I had to collect all these, this, this is awesome. Ti, you mad person, did you freaking watch all of the series in one sitting?! XD I love you dude. I just had the time of my life reading through this.

To point a few things out in answer to this:

1) Integra is the most badass in this entire series, you got that absolutely right

2) Walter was NOT brainwashed, a fact he was very adamant about. He decided on his very own that he wanted to betray Hellsing so that he would get a fair chance in fighting Alucard (something he had wanted to do for fifty years) since he’s a vampire hunter and Alucard is THE vampire, and Walter just… misses the battlefield? After staying a simple Butler for all this time. Millenium merely gave him vampire powers so he could revert to younger years so that he may have a chance fighting Alucard.

3) Yes you may stab the Major, go for it

4) The captain wanted to die, so he helped Seras and Pip out by giving them silver (kills werewolves) and laughing in his death. It seems as if he was immortal otherwise and had little chance to disobey Millenium, so he took the only way out he had.

5) The woman’s bones you see there in the end is Mina Harker, a character from Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Apart from Seras, she’s the only known woman Alucard ever turned into a vampire - also important to note that he loved her, to whatever degree he is able to. Because she drank his blood (which stayed active inside of her even after her friends somehow managed to turn her human again), it’s the only DNA of Dracula / Alucard that Millenium could get their hands on. They used that Alucard-DNA to make copies and clones of Alucard (all the vampire / ghoul soldiers you saw) and to enhance their other fighters (Rip van Winkle, the scythe guy, even Walter himself).

Ti I absolutely love you, this was such a rollercoaster from start to finish. XD Increasing amount of Caps Lock means you reached the end of the series. *nod*

#long post #i'm so not sorry for this what #this is awesome #ask #ti #hellsing #hellsing ultimate