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#which means no to the PhD in English

saucerfulofsins · 1 year

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I’m sad and I”m tired and I’m mad that I was forced to finish my MA thesis by myself without any consideration for my circumstances (beginning late, my supervisor abandoning me--I contacted him yesterday and he was like haha yeah whatever not my business anymore--and generally NOT BEING SOMEONE WHO WAS PRIMED FOR ACADEMIA MY ENTIRE LIFE AND WHO DOES NOT HAVE THE “APPROPRIATE” AKA EXPECTED EDUCATION TO DO AN UNIVERSITY DEGREE and then asking for the help I would have received if my supervisor had not left--because I picked him as my supervisor for a reason--and receiving no help. None. And then getting graded super harshly for not “fixing” the issues. That I could have fixed. If I’d had any sort of decent supervision.

Basically I feel like I was set up to fail, and that’s an addition to how I feel about my life in general because every single step in my life feels like this, where I’ve to do it by myself, without the help everyone else I know gets, and then not doing as well because I’m not getting that help, with all consequences that result from this. Such as, you know, finding it more difficult to find a job, the impossibility of doing a PhD, and also the association of you know, this being the ONLY thing I’m good at and watching other people do better than me AND have relationships AND have friendships (irl), all of which I don’t.

Which leads me to the only conclusion I cAN come to: I fucking suck and the universe is against me and honestly it’d probably be calmer, easier, better if I just... didn’t just not pursue a phd, but just. Didn’t pursue life.

#i am VERY tired #and VERY sad #and I feel VERY alone and abandoned #and I just #don't know where to look for meaning #bec #for a long time #i thought studying english was my goal in life #and don't get me wrong i really enjoyed it aside from this entire abysmal past year that fucking SUCKED and for which i'd like to sue the un #uni*#but right now there's just #i don't have anything to look forward to #that's the thing #i don't find anything else enjoyment in my life #except uni #and now a phd is out of the question definitely #(and i kNOW people have said no it's not that bad but I also know my luck and the answer is I have none)#(that's not me being pessimistic that is me being realistic and based on 31 yrs of living)#anyway here ya go #i have nothing to look forward to #i am terrified of going job hunting because i don't think the way most people do #and i know that's this haha cute quirky date me kinda line but #it's been a major issue in my life in finding a connection with others #and #i havent found that in uni even #i've gotten close but never there and #then how the FUKC am i gonna get there in a job now #when i've never looked for a job before and ifk how to deal with that #and i idk i just #how to approach THAT even i just

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gobbogoo · 1 year

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How Good Can The TF2 Mercenaries Read?

Heavy: PHD-level reading comprehension! ...in Russian. Knows how to read only basic English, mainly what's relevant to his job. Enjoys writing simple messages to the enemy on the bomb cart. (Dear Red, yer dead!)

Scout: Barely literate. Knows basics necessary for children's comics, but gets caught up on stuff like "ch = sh" in words like "machine," or the extra "b" on the end of "bomb." Mostly relies in guess-work.

Medic: Can read and write both English and German, although his knowledge of the prior stems primarily from medical vocabulary. Has to concentrate when reading more dense English texts.

Spy: Can fluently read English, French, Spanish, Morse Code, and several other languages. The most literate of the team by a long shot.

Engineer: Excellent reading comprehension and vocabulary, as well as an understanding of technical writing. Poetry and metaphor fly right over his head, though. If you're trying to say something, just say it! Sticks strictly to nonfiction.

Sniper: Average reading/writing comprehension. Values books both for information/entertainment and toilet paper/kindling.

Soldier: Has a child's writing/reading comprehension (nothing above a single syllable) UNLESS the text is related to military lingo or legal jargon, both of which he will understand but wildly misinterpret. He often gets bored after the first sentence, so he just guesses what the rest of the text is about and then fully believes that guess with 110% of his soul.

Demoman: Slightly better reading comprehension then Sniper, due to a childhood spent studying chemistry, ballistics, Scottish history, and the Bombinomicon that one time. Nowadays, he isn't often sober enough to make out the words, though. Has memorized the blurry shapes of all the chemicals he uses.

Pyro: A weird case. Pyro-Vision Goggles tells us that Pyro perceives written language as variations of "mmmph," however they seem to derive some meaning from this as they're seen reading a newspaper in the comics. Presumably whatever they "read" is different from what's actually written, though, so it's still inaccurate to say they know how to read English.

BONUS:

Pauling: Has fully mastered speed-reading, and spends a great deal of her time writing/reading documents. She's also a huge fantasy nerd, but hasn't had time to read any in years.

Saxton Hale: Has surprisingly sound reading comprehension, but has Bidwell read everything for him whenever possible. Also authors the official Saxton Hale comics through dictation, but never writes any of it personally to avoid liability.

The Administrator: [Classified]

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ai-fandom-researchstudy · 2 months

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Looking for research participants for a study on fandom attitudes towards generative AI!

Hello Tumblr! My name is Irissa Cisternino, and I'm a PhD candidate recruiting research participants for my doctoral dissertation study on fandom & generative AI!

I'm interested in understanding fans' perspectives on and experiences with generative AI (text and image generation software). That means perceptions both positive and negative! However you feel about genAI, I'm interested in hearing from you.

[EDIT 2/13/24: fixed one small error; if you filled out the survey in the last hour and responded "yes" to being contacted for an interview but there was no option to put your email in, please email the research team directly if you'd like to schedule an interview! This has been corrected now.]

Feel free to reach out via dm or email (email address is on the flyer!) with any questions! The study is anonymous and voluntary, and you'll be asked about your fandom background, attitudes towards generative AI, and demographic information. The survey should take about 15-20 minutes, and you can skip over any questions you want. You can also elect to participate in a follow up interview, if you want to. The full details are on the consent form, which you'll be able to read before taking the survey!

Feel free to share this with anyone in your networks (fandom or personal) that you think would be interested in participating! Reblog, spread to other platforms, discord servers, etc. This is also posted to Twitter/X here, and I'm working on sharing it elsewhere. Thanks for your help!

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cheeseanonioncrisps · 2 months

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So, fun detail I just noticed about Megamind:

Famously, throughout the film Megamind mispronounces certain words, most notably: "hello" ("olo"), "Metro City" ("Metrocity") and "school" ("shool").

Like many fans, I'd attributed this and other oddities— like not knowing what a window is— to his unconventional upbringing and general social isolation. His speech sounds a lot like the way people pronounce words that they've only seen written down, so maybe he just hasn't had enough practice talking to other people out loud.

Lovely theory, very angsty, makes sense that this would be what the film-makers intended.

Except…

You know who doesn't seem to have this problem with pronunciation? And who in fact attempts to correct Megamind's pronunciation of various words more than any other character?

Fucking Minion.

Minion was there for literally every step of Megamind's childhood. They were raised on Earth together and went through seemingly the exact same experiences. Yet somehow Minion came out the other end knowing how to answer the phone and what a window is and why people use codes, while Megamind didn't.

And I am just so fascinated as to why.

Top three theories:

1. Megamind isn't actually mispronouncing words due to lack of practice, but rather for some other reason.

Maybe there's something up with his ability to hear certain sounds, or his alien anatomy makes it harder to pronounce them. Maybe he's neurodivergent (I mean, he definitely is, but maybe that fact is affecting his speech).

2. Megamind is mispronouncing things due to lack of practice, but there's something about Minion that makes him need less practice to pick up new languages.

Possibly as part of their protective role, his species has advanced language acquisition programmed in so they can act as translators. Else, while Minion and Megamind landed on Earth together, it's not 100% clear whether they were actually at the same age/developmental stage when that happened. If Minion was an adult (or older child) when he became fluent in English, he might have consciously focused more on accurate pronunciation than Megamind did.

3. Megamind is mispronouncing things due to lack of practice, but Minion is getting more practice than him.

This is… honestly the theory with the most evidence behind it. Like, we know that Minion isn't in jail at the start of the film, so he's clearly mot spending the same amount of time in solitary confinement that Megamind is.

He also appears to be in charge of providing Megamind with the resources needed to carry out his plans, which would presumably require him to communicate with scrap merchants, crocodile breeders and Romanian outlet store owners (among others) on the regular.

And like… if he's not getting thrown in jail whenever Megamind does, and Megamind is spending a fair amount of time on the inside, then Minion has to be doing something to pass the time. He's clearly a bit of an extrovert, and seems to take more pleasure in interacting with people than Megamind does.

It seems unlikely that he'd spend all his time sitting in the Evil Lair waiting for Megamind contact him or escape. So what does he do?

I find it both sweet and hilarious to imagine that Minion actually does have his own social circle outside of Megamind.

Minion goes to DnD on the second Tuesday of every month.

Minion gets advice on making costumes for Megamind from his weekly sewing circle.

Minion has been going to university online for the past eight years and is currently working towards his PhD in Marine Biology.

Minion is a semi-regular at Metrocity Night Clubs.

Minion does volunteer work sometimes with kids at the Metrocity hospital.

Megamind has barely any idea about any of this. Like, he knows Minion goes places at various times.

He knows that when he's rampaging through the streets Minion will sometimes stop to wave hello to various people that Megamind has never met. He's seen the half-orc paladin costume that Minion made for DnD.

But he's never really asked about it, and Minion has never seen the need to tell him. So long as Minion's happy, Megamind's happy, and so long as Megamind's happy, Minion is happy.

Meanwhile Roxanna, post-movie, has to grapple with the fact that sometimes she'll go to visit her boyfriend only for him to ask if they can go out for dinner instead because Minion's book club is meeting in the Evil Lair, and he's been gently encouraged not to come back after what he said to Helen about her (wrong) opinions on To Kill A Mockingbird.

#megamind #minion #roxanne ritchi #megamind headcanons #megamind meta

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savoytrufflephd · 4 months

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The questions of Laurent’s being and behavior…

I have been informed, via @thickenmyblood’s asks (since mine were apparently not set to accept anonymous asks – which I have now changed) that my opinion about HIUH Laurent’s character is incorrect. I have been informed that he’s abusive.

My PhD isn’t in English (though it is in the humanities), but my wife was an English major and she has often told me that interpretations aren’t right or wrong, but they are stronger or weaker in the sense that they are supported by the text.

So, let’s go…

First things first. Let me be clear about the following:

The question of whether or not Laurent is abusive in this piece of fanfiction has no bearing whatsoever on whether any person you know in real life is abusive.

Similarly, any arguments that Laurent can change or that Laurent deserves a second chance have no bearing whatsoever on whether any person you know in real life can change or deserves a second chance.

Neither HIUH nor any fic should be taken as a life advice manual. Just because there are therapists in this fic does not mean that @thickenmyblood is a mental health professional or your therapist.

I am also not a therapist, nor am I trying to give you life advice when I speak of my enjoyment of HIUH.

But if I were to give you life advice, it would be this: If a piece of fanfiction makes you so angry that you feel the need to send abusive anonymous comments to the author and/or ask that author to pass on your comment “correcting” the opinion of a reader writing about that story, you should probably stop reading that fic. It is clearly not good for you. Metaphorically speaking, you are in an abusive relationship with that fic and you should end it. Write the story off and move on.

Okay, that said, the question of whether Laurent is abusive in HIUH is probably more of a series of questions:

Has HIUH Laurent engaged in abusive behaviors?

If so, do those abusive behaviors necessarily indicate that he is and will always be an abuser?

If not, what evidence do we have that HIUH Laurent can and will stop engaging in abusive behaviors?

If HIUH Laurent stops engaging in abusive behaviors, what reasons, if any, does HIUH Damen have to return to the relationship despite past abuse?

BONUS:

A. Is an HIUH Laurent who harms Damen through abusive behavior mischaracterized relative to the canon source material?

B. Is an HIUH Damen who chooses to be with Laurent despite past abuse mischaracterized relative to the canon source material?

1. Has Laurent engaged in abusive behaviors?

Yes. Although we are limited by a potentially unreliable narrator (Damen), who does not believe Laurent is abusive, we are clearly and intentionally both told and shown in the text that Laurent has engaged in abusive behavior. We are told when Neo explains as much to a skeptical Damen:

“Then you must know I’m only trying to get a feeling on how educated you are on the subject of abuse between romantic partners.” “But why ? I just told you Laurent and I never—” “Do you know what emotional abuse looks like, Damen?” “Yes.” “Give me a definition.” It’s hot in the room, all of the sudden. “It’s… making someone. Feel bad.” “It’s consistent and repeated humiliation,” Neo says. “Gaslighting. Manipulation. Verbal abuse can sometimes overlap with this. Have you ever experienced this while in your relationship with Laurent?” “We weren’t abusive.” “Did you insult each other?” “No,” Damen says. It was so long ago, it was a lifetime back. He can’t remember. “It’s—not like that. Humiliation? We never—” “You’ve said that sometimes Laurent made you feel as though the things you were feeling were inadequate.” You’re being a fucking idiot, Laurent had said about the pink sweatshirt. “What if he was right?” “It’s never right to invalidate your partner’s feelings.” “We weren’t abusive.” “Damen,” Neo says, the soft caress before a blow. “What if we think about it from—” “There’s nothing to think about. I’m telling you, it wasn’t like that. How the fuck did you get to that conclusion? Because I complained about us arguing?” Neo ruffles his notes. “Contempt. Shame. Hurt. That’s what abusers thrive on. There’s quite a lot of those things in here.” “Laurent’s not an abuser,” Damen snaps. “Maybe not, but he grew up with one, didn’t he? These are learned traits.” Damen folds forward as though to vomit. That’s—He’s made a mistake. They argued, they yelled, they said things they didn’t mean, but they never hit each other or threw cutlery at each other’s heads. They went to bed angry, and Damen slept on the couch, and there would be rolling eyes and huffs and annoyance in the following days, but that’s not—Laurent is not— You’re sweet, Damen had said, hand to Laurent’s cheek. A sweetheart. He remembers meaning it, remembers Laurent not liking it. He also remembers Laurent’s sweetness, scarcer in the end and cloying in the beginning. Breakfast in bed, letting Damen pick what show to watch, giving up half his trail mix bag because he knew Damen liked the dried fruit pieces most. You’ll do great, you always do great. A protein shake prepped and ready to go, peace and quiet the nights before important court days. But also bigger things, biggest things. There was—and sharing a bed, and curling up under Damen to read, and letting Damen carry Nicaise up the stairs, and holding his hand under the table as firm functions, and kissing just to kiss, just because, just— He’s explained Laurent wrong.

And we are shown in the moments when Damen and Laurent talk and Damen expects a belittling response from Laurent:

“There are,” Laurent starts, stops. Starts again, “I didn’t.” He has both elbows on the table, which he used to despise. Tables are for cutlery and food, not limbs. Something about the way he rubs at the skin under his eyes makes Damen’s stomach cower as if expecting a blow. “Agnes recommended it months before you—came back. It wasn’t my idea.”

“I met him?” For once, Laurent doesn’t mock him for his question. “It was at that school play I couldn’t go to. The one Nicaise got that huge part in.”

“I want to know when the twenty-four hours are up,” Damen says, loudly, too loudly, “so we can go to the police station and report him missing. For fuck’s sake, Laurent, will you stop ? He could be seriously hurt, and you’re sitting here, berating me about the way I phrased a question. Do you even give a shit about him? Do you even—” He cuts himself off when he sees Laurent’s expression. Like he did last time with Nicaise, Damen braces himself for what’s to come, goes over the list of things Laurent can hurl at him, tries to minimize the inevitable damage. The comment will be about Nikandros, about his soft childhood in Ios, about the time he tried to discipline Nicaise by himself and ended up covered in vomit. Nothing happens. There’s only Laurent, turning his face to the side so Damen can’t stare at it any longer. In the silence of the car, Laurent’s breathing shakes.

“Is his name really Dog?” Laurent says, sitting down next to Damen. Between them, the two cups of coffee and the small pile of croissants both steam. “I didn’t believe Nicaise when he told me.” “I,” Damen starts, lie ready on his tongue, and stops. It’s very meta. “I’m not good with names.” Laurent picks up his coffee instead of agreeing with Damen. Instead of mocking. The space between their bodies is comfortable enough—they’re not touching, not even their knees or thighs. They’re not looking at each other either, not with the entire park stretching green and busy in front of them.

2. If so, do those abusive behaviors necessarily indicate that he is and will always be an abuser?

I take this to be one of the major points of contention on the part of the angry readers. As you can probably guess, I don’t think the text suggests that Laurent in inherently abusive. Besides the stuff coming in my answer to question 3, we have several reasons to believe that Laurent’s abusive behavior is the product of particular circumstances rather than a generalized personality dysfunction.

We know, and Neo just reminded us above, that abusive behaviors are learned behaviors. We know Laurent was abused in multiple ways before he was able to leave his uncle’s house. We know that he is still very young and that it has not been that long since his uncle’s trial. We know he has not been comfortable talking to Damen about his abuse, which gives us reason to believe he still experiences a great deal of shame. That shame is hinted at here:

“He respects you,” Laurent says before Damen has made up his mind about the yelling. “He looks at you and sees a standard to meet. Normalcy. It’s hard to disappoint people you respect. Especially people like you.” “Like me.” “You do things your way. Everyone else does them wrong.” “That’s,” Damen starts. The absolute inaccuracy of the phrase leaves him hanging. “What the fuck?” Laurent ignores him. “He doesn’t respect me, and he also knows I have no room to judge. It’s different. We’re—it’s just different.”

We also know that Laurent is specifically and intentionally not abusive toward Nicaise. We have seen that he has been absorbing a ton of anger, vilification, derision, denigration from Nicaise almost entirely without complaint and without lashing out at Nicaise in return. In fact, after the breaking of the paperweight, when Laurent feels that he might not be able to avoid reacting in a way he will regret, he calls Damen to safely remove Nicaise from the situation. Having taken the lock off Nicaise’s door for reasons many parents would no doubt consider justified, he realizes it was a mistake:

Damen doesn’t look down at the twisted little bolts on the floor. “Actually, you should watch this part in case you ever want to dismantle it again.” “I won’t.” Damen rubs his sleeve over a weird spot on the knob. “You’re betting a lot on Nicaise’s hypothetical good behavior.” “It was dumb, taking the lock away as punishment. I…” Laurent’s thumb glides over the edge of the glass. It traces a full circle before stopping and going white, digging in. His jaw twitches like he’s munching on something. “Privacy shouldn’t be a reward.” “Wasn’t this about safety? He locked himself in, wouldn’t come out or reply when you called…” Laurent’s reply is slow to come. After a while, Damen stops expecting it to come at all. He goes back to testing the lock—twice, waiting for that click sound—opens the door, closes it, and rattles the knob a bit. Just to be sure. “My uncle made it about safety too,” Laurent says. “Locks on doors were for adults. Not children.” The lonely ice cube in his glass floats around aimlessly, not quite touching its confines. “The first to go were the bedroom locks. What if there’s a fire and you can’t get out? What if someone breaks in through the window and—well.” Laurent smiles, small and ugly. “That kind of thing. You know.”

He ensures that Nicaise sees a therapist, meets with that therapist regularly, and follows professional advice about putting Nicaise on medication.

Laurent also maintains a strong friendship with Ancel, whose judgment the text has taught us to trust, through Damen’s evolving relationship with him. Laurent is capable of non-abusive, non-superficial relationships.

3. If not, what evidence do we have that HIUH Laurent can and will stop engaging in abusive behaviors?

From the moment we see Laurent interact with Damen in the present of this story, he is trying to treat Damen better. Not because he thinks he can get back together with Damen, but because he realizes he needs to make a relationship with Damen possible for Nicaise. We have already seen above that most of the time when Damen expects Laurent’s ridicule in this story, he does not actually receive it. In very stressful conversations, when Laurent does lash out, he now tends to pull back or even to acknowledge and apologize:

Coffee. Damen takes two long sips, trying to rinse the bad taste out of his mouth. They’ve had arguments in public before, probably louder than this one. For some reason, the thought isn’t as comforting as Damen would have once found it. They broke up to be better than they were together, didn’t they? They should be better. Except this doesn’t feel better. Or different. Laurent says, “That was out of line.” Now, cooled off, Damen feels clammy. Wobbly. He knows Laurent is right, and yet the thought of sitting through a reprimand makes him want to melt away. “It was.” “I—apologize.” Damen looks up from his coffee to Laurent’s profile. He’s facing the wrong way, Damen thinks stupidly, because the window is to their left. “You apologize.” Half a question. “Go ahead,” Laurent says. “Rub it in.” Damen doesn’t want to. Nausea is curling around him, closing in. “I was out of line too, so.”

And we know now that Laurent has thought through some of his past behaviors toward Damen:

“I was angry at you,” Laurent says, “all the time. Sometimes it was justified, but when it wasn’t I just—I found ways to justify it. That wasn’t fair. Of me.” Damen’s palm is numb around the glass. “Why were you angry?” “Nicaise.” “Justified,” Damen says. “And the rest of it?” Laurent is facing him again. “Paschal says I have a tendency to expect the worst from everyone. Especially you. You’d make comments, and I’d think you were being cruel instead of…” “Instead of what? Ignorant?” Laurent doesn’t reply. “That makes no sense,” Damen says. “We never argued about me being fucking sadistic. We argued about you acting like some things were obvious and I was simply too much of an idiot to get them.” “I never thought you were an idiot.” “You said it often enough.” “I’m—sorry,” Laurent says. “It doesn’t change anything, but—even if you had been the biggest idiot in the world, you didn’t deserve…” A blinking spree follows. “I’m sorry.”

We know that Laurent is still in therapy, and we know that he has been talking about his relationship with Damen there because Paschal has suggested couples counseling for them. And Laurent has invited Damen to do that couples counseling, showing that he wants them to build a better foundation for their relationship going forward.

4. If HIUH Laurent stops engaging in abusive behaviors, what reasons, if any, does HIUH Damen have to return to the relationship despite past abuse?

Damen is deeply in love with Laurent. At the beginning of the story, he is in denial about this fact, but the uncontrollable flow of his thoughts still shows us how much he feels the loss of their relationship. Once he and Laurent are speaking again, seeing improvements in their communication, and experiencing moments of comfort and fun in their interactions – and once Laurent has broken up with Maxime – Damen admits to himself that he wants to be back together. Neo, as usual, prompts the self-recognition:

“I’m asking you to think about what life might look like in two years,” Neo says, “for you and Laurent. Time does not only pass for you, Damen.” A smile, crinkling the corners of Neo’s eyes. “That’d be ideal, wouldn’t it?” Two years. Damen sits with the question for a while, looking at it, prodding it. In two years, Nicaise will have gone away to college. Maybe Laurent will move, relocate, start over somewhere closer to Vask. He’ll post about his new life on Instagram, or details of it will make it to Damen as second-hand gossip. They could still be friends, over text or the phone or fucking letters, Damen thinks, yet there’s something bitter in the back of his throat, filling up his mouth like vomit. Maybe Laurent will date again. Probably. Most likely. And Damen— When he looks up from the armrest, Neo is looking straight back. Damen can’t say it. Earlier today, as he typed his last email of the day at the office, he kept drafting a plan for today’s session. He’d explain his argument with Laurent, then the party at Ancel’s, then the way he keeps looking at Laurent in all the wrong lights, in all the wrong ways, and still finds himself wanting to kiss him. Neo would make a disapproving face, maybe, but it would be easy to brush off; anyone that doesn’t know Laurent would find it hard to understand how easy it is to want to kiss him. Except that isn’t all Damen wants. What Damen wants isn’t a settling of the score, a cleaning of the slate. He doesn’t want to do it once for old times’ sake, or twice out of gluttony. He doesn’t want to make any long-distance phone calls, write any letters, see any pictures on Instagram of Laurent and someone that isn’t him. He doesn’t want things to stay like this, in this careful antiseptic stage. He doesn’t want them to be friends. “It’s not what I want,” Damen says, at last. Neo leans back into his chair. He rolls his wrist once. “You think it’s what I should want, right? Letting go and all.” “I wouldn’t say that,” Neo says. “Should and shouldn’t are very loaded words. It also doesn’t matter what I think you should or shouldn’t do, in general. What is it that you want, since we’ve already established what it is that you don’t?” Don’t make me say it out loud. “I want,” Damen starts, and stops. The words look so stupid, jumbled inside his head. I want him back, like Laurent is a toy someone took away and won’t return. Like Damen is a child, begging. Don’t make me say it. Seconds trickle by, piling into a minute. Then two. “Do you want to be in a relationship with Laurent again?” “I thought I already was,” Damen says. “A friendship is a kind of relationship. You said that.” Neo closes his eyes, keeps them like that for a while. “I did, yes. Let me rephrase that—do you want to be in a romantic relationship with Laurent? Again?” There is no loophole this time, no two-meaning word Damen can latch onto. The truth sits heavy in him, not on his chest but somewhere deeper, inside a little crevice between some (probably important) organs. Saying no would be lying, saying yes would be diminishing. “I want things to be good,” Damen says. “That’s all.”

And in chapter 19, Damen is brutally honest with himself about how, even after everything, he still wants Laurent:

“You meet new people,” Neo says. “You go on dates, make new friends, find new interests. Despite what you might think right now, Laurent isn’t your only option. Dare I say, Laurent might not even be your best option.” The room is dark, darker than it was when the phone call started, but Damen’s eyes hurt like he’s been staring at a ball of light for too long. Everything hurts in a strange, modest way. A throb here, faint. An ache there, heatless. “I don’t want other options,” Damen says. “Well.” “How fucked up is that?” “Pretty fucked up,” Neo says. It makes Damen stop blinking. “Luckily, you’re already doing therapy. It’s only bound to get less complicated from here on. Or more, depending on how you look at it.” “I don’t even wanna look at it, to be honest.” “Then don’t. Take time off, let things cool down, think about what’s been said… No one is asking you to choose right this second.” It’s not that anyone is asking. It’s that it feels like he’s already made his choice.

“You didn’t tell me,” Damen says before he can think not to. “Tell you what?” “How bad it was.” Laurent’s thumb traces the t in team. It’s a bit crooked, even from Damen’s perspective. “It was pretty bad,” he says, slowly, “before you came back. Things were better once he started seeing you again.” “You call that better?” “Yes,” Laurent says. I would have come back, Damen thinks, if you’d told me. Except it’s not true; he would have come back for much less. He’s here now, sitting across from Laurent in this mediocre coffee shop, talking things out, making an effort, thinking of reaching out to finally, finally, hold Laurent’s hand. It’s strange, looking at Laurent and knowing he’s the only other person on earth that feels the same way he does. Where else would Damen go? Who else would he talk to? No one will ever get it, not the way Laurent does. And Laurent knows it. He must, or else he would not be sitting here either. There is only this, Damen thinks. At least for him, there will only ever be this.

So there is that. Damen is hopelessly devoted to Laurent. But that doesn’t make getting back together with him a good decision. Love would not be a good reason to return to an abusive relationship.

Another NOT good reason would be Damen believing the fact that he made mistakes cancels out Laurent’s harmful behavior. The text makes that explicitly clear through Neo:

Neo’s pen hops; a period appears at the end of a sentence. “Apologies can be hard to navigate. It’s sort of like… You’ve wronged me, and you know that you’ve wronged me, and now you’re apologizing for it while expecting me to forgive you. It’s quite a lot to put on a person.” “There are degrees to wrong,” Damen says. His chair feels smaller, like it’s locking him in instead of holding him up. The armrests keep getting in the way of his elbows. “And it’s not like I didn’t have stuff I had to apologize for too. I don’t get why you’re trying to make this seem like a bad thing.” “I’m not.” “Then why—” “Do you think you deserved an apology from Laurent?” Damen leans back and back and back, until his shoulder blades find something solid. Did he deserve…? He’d wanted one, once. In Nikandros’s guest room, with only beige and white and terracotta everything around him, he’d had staring matches with his own phone. He’d thought Laurent might call, at the very beginning. Apologizing. Begging. But Laurent never did. “Yeah,” Damen says. Neo’s head begins to tilt. “You don’t sound too sure about that.” “I am sure.” “All right,” Neo says. “Why do you deserve an apology?” “I told you already. He treated me like I was an idiot.” “How?” “How—what?” “How exactly did he treat you like you were an idiot? What were his actions towards you?” “I,” Damen starts, but something in Neo’s face makes him pause. “He’d say things when we argued.” “Such as?” “That I was an asshole.” Neo nods. “And how did you feel when you heard him say that? Did you feel like it was fair?” “I felt like he was an asshole,” Damen says. “Sometimes.” “Whereas now you feel like he was right?” He was right about Nicaise. And maybe about Ancel, too. “I don’t know what you want me to say.” “I don’t want you to say anything,” Neo says. “I’m just trying to get you to think about things from a different perspective. Laurent apologized, which is an important—not to say crucial—step in rebuilding any kind of relationship. But it seems to me that you’re holding onto this newly found belief that because you acted a certain way, because you made mistakes, you somehow deserved the way he treated you throughout the last stages of your relationship.” “That’s not what I think,” Damen says. “All right. Then you think you deserved the apology because the way he treated you was wrong.” “Yes. But…” “But…?” Damen’s face feels hot, the heat lodged right over his molars. “Doesn’t it kind of cancel out? Like, we both fucked up.” “Those are two different issues,” Neo says. “So no, they don’t cancel out. What he did to you and what you did to him are obviously connected, but someone doing something wrong or bad is not an excuse to do the wrong or bad thing back to them.” Neo gives his pen a tap. “Or it does, I suppose. It depends on your belief system. But you don’t strike me as an ‘eye for an eye’ fan.” I don’t want any eyes, Damen thinks.

I interpret the failed second try (or second strike) of Damen and Laurent’s relationship to have been somewhat based on the “cancel out” reasoning from above. The “cancel out” and move past approach did not work because they failed to address the many insecurities, communication failures, and problematic patterns that plagued the first time around. A discussion with Neo (again) makes this clear. Damen hasn’t yet learned to listen to what Laurent is saying without letting his insecurities and anger get in the way:

But Damen isn’t in Laurent’s position. You’ll never get it, Laurent had said about Nicaise. Maybe it’s true. “I get why he did it. I’ve been thinking, and it’s not—I get it. Nicaise being embarrassed, wanting Laurent in the room because he was the least angry of—” “I don’t think that’s why,” Neo says. “Or at least, that’s not what you’ve just told me Laurent said about the whole thing.” “What?” “Laurent talked extensively about roles. Did you notice that?” “No.” “He presents himself as the scapegoat for Nicaise’s anger, while you’re the one Nicaise admires and wants to impress.” Tap, tap, tap. Damen imagines Neo’s fingers flying across the keyboard. “It seems to me Nicaise wasn’t concerned about the different intensity levels of your—as in, yours and Laurent’s—anger. He knew you were both angry.” “Laurent was better at handling it.” “Was he?” “I couldn’t stop thinking about the guy,” Damen says. Guys, his brain supplies, helpful as ever. “I still can’t. Even now, I know it’s not—that’s not important. I was yelling at Nicaise. I wasn’t listening.” “And that’s why Nicaise didn’t want you to go with him to the clinic?” Damen closes his eyes. He needs to repaint his ceiling, do something about the lack of texture there. “Laurent said something about abandonment,” Neo tries. A nudge. “You’ve mentioned Nicaise doesn’t do well with change, that he’s got a tendency to latch onto routines and people. Do you think it might be possible that he was trying to preserve the relationship he has with you?” “By keeping me out of a medical examination room.” “Yes.” “That’s what Laurent said.” “Well,” Neo says. “It sounds plausible.”

Damen wanted magically for them to be over their past:

“Right,” Damen says. “You don’t do should and shouldn’t. I forgot.” “Are you upset?” Are you angry with me? “I don’t know,” Damen says. “We were supposed to be past this, and now it’s out there and I can’t—we can’t—” “How were you supposed to be past this, if this had never been discussed before today?” “You said it’s impossible to discuss everything.”

So, I don’t think it’s a strong interpretation of the text to say that @thickenmyblood is trying to present Damen in an unfairly negative light in order to excuse Laurent’s much worse behavior and thereby make it okay for them to get back together. Cancelling out isn’t what the HEA of the story is set up to be about.

That said – and given the fact that Damen is still in love with Laurent – what GOOD reasons might Damen have to try the relationship again?

For one, he is beginning to understand better what the fights with Laurent about Nicaise were about. Moreover, they have now explicitly acknowledged that they are co-parenting Nicaise and Laurent has expressed a clear commitment to them parenting Nicaise as a team.

For another, Damen has a much improved understanding of the role of therapy and the complexities of mental health. He has a long ways to go on this front, but I don’t think we’ll see him dismissing or belittling Laurent’s mental health needs. Moreover, Damen has ways of addressing his own mental health needs and talking things through with a person who doesn’t share his triggers and emotional investments around Laurent.

For a third, he has made a commitment to working through their issues in therapy and has concluded that he trusts Laurent to try just as hard as he will to repair and strengthen their relationship.

Crucially, Damen has also learned to stand up for himself when he feels Laurent is implying that he is incapable of understanding things. This means he can point it out and Laurent can recognize when he is retreating into a defensive, harmful pattern. This also allows Damen to indicate that something isn’t obvious to him and to ask Laurent to explain it kindly and clearly. I think that is the only way they can reconcile their very different life histories and relationships to social normativity.

ONCE AGAIN, believing this about HIUH Damen relative to HIUH Laurent does not mean that I believe this is something all (or even very many) real life people who were previously in unhealthy relationships should aim for or could achieve.

Which brings us to our bonus questions:

A. Is an HIUH Laurent who harms Damen through abusive behavior mischaracterized relative to the canon source material?

No, in fact, this is not a mischaracterization. Laurent abused Damen in canon. He took him as a slave. He sought Damen’s public humiliation. He had Damen whipped to an extent that would have killed most other people. He placed Damen in a situation that (for almost any other person) would have resulted in a violent public rape. He also forced Damen to engage in public and non-consensual oral sex. Later, when he understood Damen more emotionally and was feeling insecure or threatened, he lied about his feelings and motivations out of shame and self-hatred and with the aim of hurting Damen enough to drive him away.

B. Is an HIUH Damen who chooses to be with Laurent despite past abuse mischaracterized relative to the canon source material?

Damen fell in love with Laurent after all that abuse because he came to understand its source and because he saw other sides of Laurent that were caring and honorable and expressed a commitment to achieving justice, even if not by fully honest means. He came to understand Laurent as a survivor, even before he became aware of what exactly Laurent had survived. He stuck with Laurent through all of Laurent’s attempts to push him away and fought for what should have been an impossible relationship. And throughout this process, he learned about his own naivete and to question key elements of his upbringing, like the quest for war glory and the belief that “perfect treatment” justified slavery.

Captive Prince is a seductive and enthralling trilogy. And we willingly suspend any disbelief about whether Laurent’s trauma can truly be overcome simply by Damen’s noble nature and magical healing cock.

Why not do the same for HIUH? (Or, you know, just stop reading it.)

Although I do think Maca may owe us some healing cock. Just sayin’.

#captive prince #captive prince fanfic #hiuh #damen x laurent #thickenmyblood #hand in unlovable hand #neither my wife nor child reads this fic and i suck at fandom these days but i need to talk about this masterwork #clearly when you are just about to finish your academic book you experience a sudden need to analyze the fuck out of other things

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fangirleaconmigo · 1 year

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for 'I can't believe it's canon', what about Jaskier/Dandelion's youthful looks? I know it's common fanon to make him at least part elf or fae or some other type of creature to explain the longevity, but i think in canon he's just like that? Babyfaced?

Hello dear! Ok, so,

Dandelion's looks and longevity/(and potential elven lineage) in the books, now with English and original Polish versions.

Alright, in order to answer this ask, I conferred with the wonderful and helpful @cherrypoison1889, who is Polish and has the books and is willing to indulge my obsessive absurdity.

(In my post about Geralt and Religion, I put out a request for any Polish fan of the books who wouldn't mind me bothering them with silly and ridiculous questions occasionally to get in touch. Cherry was kind enough to dm me.)

Basically, my meta has powered up. XD I now have a partner in crime. I am going to include our conversations about the words used in the original Polish and in the English translation to describe Dandelion.

We are just having very silly fun here, this isn't academic or anything pls my god, if you want academic or authoritative consult a doctor (phd in languages and whatnot). This is just fun, that's all.

Ok, so we know Dandelion looks young for his age.

In The Blood of Elves, which takes place AFTER the first two short story collections, Djikstra says that Dandelion looks like he is in his late twenties, even though he is in his late thirties. Here is what he says.

"...I know you're almost forty, look almost thirty, think you're just over twenty, and act as though you're barely ten."

So he looks a good ten years younger than he is and This is in Blood of Elves, which for TWN fans is around S2.

We also know he is a 'pretty boy'.

Dandelion is called pretty, by the narrative and other characters.

When Angoulême is being interrogated in The Tower of Swallows, and she is asked who Geralt is traveling with, she describes Dandelion like this....

"...a comely fellow called Dandelion, who's a troubadour, and carries a lute."

So she uses the term comely, which in English is typically usually used to describe women. I think that's the first time I've heard that word used to describe an adult man. Here's how Oxford dictionary defines it:

Comely: pleasant to look at; attractive (typically used of a woman).

So to me, this implies a pretty boy and yes the baby face.

I asked Cherry about what the Polish word is, and here is their answer:

Angouleme calls Jaskier "Przystojniak" in Polish, which is colloquial of Handsome Fellow (see also the word Przystojny, which means Handsome). This word is generally used only to describe men, but has been, in the past, also applied to women

So, there is some subtle gender-y stuff going on in that translation, but either way, he is considered good looking.

Then I asked Cherry about whether Dandelion is really often mistaken for an elf. There is a passage in the English translation that suggests that he is, but the wording in English is a bit ambiguous and slightly awkward.

In the process, Cherry and I found that there is a word in that section that changes pretty significantly in translation, suggesting again that he is very pretty.

Dandelion and longevity or elven lineage:

As far as his longevity, there is never at indication that he is part elf except that sometimes he is mistaken for an elf. The English translation implies that this is because of his style, but the original Polish implies it is his pretty face as well.

In Baptism of Fire, Geralt and Dandelion are in a forest, caught in a thunderstorm. They happen near a group of men who are waiting to meet elves and the men call to them:

"Over here, Master Elves!"

Geralt is not surprised by this mistake, as visibility is low, and they are both wrapped in grey elven mantels. Also, apparently, this is a regular occurrence for Dandelion. The book says:

"As far as the foppish Dandelion was concerned, he was regularly mistaken for an elf or a half-elf, particularly since he had begun wearing his hair shoulder-length and taken up the habit of occasionally curling it with tongs."

Ok, so, the English translation uses the phrase 'as far as...Dandelion was concerned', which could mean two different things. It could mean "regarding Dandelion," or "according to Dandelion." So I asked Cherry what it says in Polish.

fangirleaconmigo

So that phrase in english could basically say that dandelion WAS regularly mistaken for an elf

OR OR OR

it could mean that he CLAIMS he is regularly mistaken for an elf

cherrypoison1889

So, in Polish it is that Dandelion is often mistaken for an elf or half-elf.

fangirleaconmigo

ok, so it isn't that he claims it, but that he IS mistaken for an elf.

ok perfect. thank you.

cherrypoison1889

As in, it's other's opinion that he looks like an elf

Then, Cherry asked me about the word foppish, and we realized that the original word in Polish has quite different connotations!

Foppish, in English, generally refers to a man who is "concerned with one's clothes and appearance in an affected and excessive way." (Oxford dictionary)

So, an English speaker sees this word as a commentary on Dandelion's vanity and clothing. But actually the Polish word is different. Here is what Cherry said:

cherrypoison1889

In Polish it's "Gładysz", which means someone with a smooth, unblemished visage (see also the word Gładki, which means smooth)

fangirleaconmigo

the word they translated to foppish?

cherrypoison1889

Yep, that's the word. So, 1 count for Dandy being called a pretty pretty boy <3

fangirleaconmigo

haha that's awesome thank you

cherrypoison1889

So in english, you could say he's described slightly more pejoratively?

fangirleaconmigo

foppish it's less about his attractiveness and more about his own vanity or obsession with appearance.

just stylish and vain basically

you could see that negatively, as interest in appearance is often looked down upon in men, (eta: unfairly of course, in macho cultures, not by me obviously) but not everyone does see it as negative. but yes, it has more potential for negative implications

cherrypoison1889

Just looked it up in a dictionary, apparently Gładysz also means someone who is nice, i.e. kind

So in Polish it's just he's a sweet pretty boy uwu

fangirleaconmigo

ah interesting! so the original word has better implications all around

that's so cute

cherrypoison1889

Baby boy baby

So, there is no conclusive evidence for Dandelion being part elven, other than just the fact that he is mistaken for one. He is a pretty pretty boy who looks young for his age.

But since he looks like an elf, there's a bit of fertile ground to headcanon it. It's not canon but it's a reasonable use or extrapolation of canon! Would he even know if he were like a quarter elf? Who knows? We don't even know where Lettenhove is. Go crazy!

So, TWN accidentally not aging him turned out to be not too 'off canon'. And it is no surprise that he is often head-canoned as part elf.

Actually I think Hexer actually makes him part elf as well. Hell, I make him part elf in most of my fics.

So there's no canon evidence? But it's not an outrageous thing to headcanon or anything.

THANK YOU CHERRY FOR DOING THIS WITH ME. IT'S SO FUN BEING A NERD WITH YOU ABOUT TRANSLATIONS.

#asks #the witcher

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prototypelq · 3 months

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Today, is the first day in 23 months when I finally heard some good news from within russia, about politics no less.

As you probably haven't heard, because this theme is being agressively ignored by all possible media, 15-17 march is the date of next presidential election in russia. If you have laughed after reading this statement, then congratulations, you pretty much know everything about it, hence why no media coverage. But there should be.

Ekaterina Shulman, who has a PhD in political sciences, who has been one of the most enlightening sources on all matters russian-politics and autocrasy-related, has been handedly calling the oncoming election an 'electoral event', meaning the current system will not allow any real election to take place (and it never really did), but will instead make an illusion of the 'winner' being fair.

(btw 'election' advertisements and notices have been going under the banner of the letter V, which you can consider fair since 'election' is 'выборы' in russian, so using the same letter makes sense, but we all know who this big letter references, don't we, same way as all the militarist zealots are uniting under letter Z)

Yesterday, she held a stream with Boris Nadezhdin, who is currently running for presidential candidate by trying to gather citizen votes.

The reason you should care about this, is that Nadezhdin is the only candidate, who is openly critical of Putin,

he has been the public voice of opposition for the russian autocracy for more than 20 years,

the stream he held with Ekaterina could be considered an extremely risky move, enough to send him to jail for this move alone, since she has been declared a foreign agent for a long time (current brand of quality for russians),

he has opened up multiple vote booths across the world, so that political refugees (which is exactly what all the russians abroad are) could safely vote, as the government has already considered denying them their constitutional right to do so,

and he has presented the plan for his presidential reign, starting with: releasing all the political prisoners and immediately starting peace talks with Ukraine.

If you think that those are just empty words, well, they might be, though I can only pity the person who would dedicate more than 20 years of their life on empty promises, especially ones that can easily get you imprisoned for life or killed. I am not joking.

The reason there is 'unanimous agreement' of russians and the media of russians regarding the Invasion of Ukraine and other political topics, is that the political filed in this forsaken country has been carefully curated and all unsactioned-by-Kremlin opposition immediately eliminated for longer than I have been alive.

I live with the weight of just living my life in this country being a daily contributor to committing war crimes in Ukraine, and inside Russia. The reason I'm writing this in english on tumblr, which, hey, lgbt is considered extremist propaganda and will get you in jail, and tumblr even markets itself as the most lgbt-friendly social site, is that there is no way to talk about this in russia. And each time, I browse the politics or russia tags here I see the same zealous aggression which russians are called terrorists for, directed back at all russians. I took it for a long time, because there was no way to dispute this claim, I felt and continue to feel shame for this forsaken country or being related to it, and because every day this country exists ukrainian and russian people are forced into the meatgrinder.

No more. or well, no more feeling shame over it, the guilt will remain long after even the end of the Invasion.

Boris Nadezhdin's (btw his surname almost literally translates to Hopeful) electoral booths have been having full rows of people wishing to sign a petition to make him electable for presidential run. People in Siberia stood in line in -40 C (granted, normal siberian weather, but still, you wouldn't want to be out and about for too long in that kind of cold, even when accustomed to it) to sign a petition for him. At the moment of writing he has reached around 70k, out of 100k needed to be legally allowed to petition for presidential run (sidenote: that number is astronomically high for a number of reasons, so him getting that close is a big win too)

youtube

(this video covers the current news of Nadezhdin's campaign pretty well, it also has hand-done english subs)

So yes. You're not allowed to call all russians terrorists any longer, untill they are proven Zealots. There are literally thousands of russian people voting against Putin's reign, they are donating money to this campaign to help it grow too.

In a country, which has never really been a free space to be able to discuss politics, much less actively participate in them or have an informed opinion on them, and which has spent decades curating political apathy in it's people, these events are WILD.

Granted, the possibility of Nadezhdin being allowed to actually run for president is astronomically small, the country is still an autocrasy. Still, participation this high is anything-politics related is phenominal, and I wish to celebrate that, whatever may come in the future.

Here are some additional russian sources available to english-speakers to learn more:

The Russian State of Mind, a brilliant lecture by Ekaterina Shulman, PhD in political science, updated with data from october 2023

Maxim Katz channel, he covers politics and subtitles his videos by hand in english, I've linked another video of his above

Meduza newsletter has an english department

Tamara Eidelman covers history, mythology and related topics, her lectures are fascinating to listen to and have english voiceover

Yuri Dud does interviews with english subs

Any content creator with the (obligatory) foreign agent (иностранный агент) warning is good to listen to. This means the author said something not to the current governmen'ts liking, or not Enough liking of russian system, so good for them for having an actual opinion.

#first voting in my life and this is the stakes im working with yaaaay #i get why people are calling russians terrorists but i am so tired of it #now i have literal prove it's not true and you should take a closer look at the facts #the problem with politics is that they are just too complicated for any ordinary person to make sense of #but when the question is 'do you support killing people' there is only one answer #russian invasion of ukraine #russia #ukraine #russia is a terrorist state #i hope one day that tag changes to putin is a terrorist state #putin #he is a definitive war criminal and must be judged in world court #Youtube

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abalone-butch · 10 days

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hiiii butchfemme tumblr!!

just a dapper butch looking for a relationship <3

about me

i’m max(well or imillian - still haven’t quite decided)! i’m 19, use he/him pronouns and am black and autistic! though i enjoy some sports like basketball and roller derby, i have unfortunately been grounded due to a recent knee injury. this also means that while i am politically active, i have been unable to attend protests for the free palestine movement, which is dear to my heart as someone from a colonised country (nigeria). i am bi- almost tri- lingual (english and igbo and french) and enjoy practising my igbo with my family.

personality

i am often described as someone who is laidback and gentle. i am rather shy and slow to open up, but once i get to know you, i love fiercely and with all my heart. i get easily excited about nature and animals more specifically, and though i struggle with my mental health, i am forever soft with my loved ones. i am also a stone butch :o)

other facts

while i was born in nigeria, i currently live in australia (if you do too, feel free to dm me and i might let you know the city!). at university i study animal behaviour, aiming to do an honours then phd in the behavioural ecology of frogs, which are also my favourite group of animals (previously it was monkeys).

about you

i prefer to date monogamous high femmes who understand having a complex gender identity. i do not mind if you are inside or outside australia, nor do i mind if you are in my state or not, im just looking for a relationship, and i know that in the future, due to my career aims, i will be travelling a lot, which means that we might meet sooner rather than later <3.

i’m excited to see what comes of this! and feel free to dm if you fit the profile/even if you don’t - i like making friends too! thanks for reading :)

#femme bait #butchfemme #butch4femme #stone butch #butch lesbian #who uses tumblr as a dating platform?? me! i do.#femme4butch #femme lesbian #high femme #butch bait #femme4masc

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coochiequeens · 1 year

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Technology just revealed a new name to women’s history.

For nearly 1,300 years, no one knew it was there. The name of a highly educated English woman, secretly scratched on to the pages of a rare medieval manuscript in the eighth century, but impossible to read – until now.

Academics have discovered the Old English female name Eadburg was repeatedly scored into the surface of the religious text, using a method that kept it hidden from the naked eye for more than 12 centuries.

The covert writing of the woman’s name was finally revealed when researchers at the Bodleian Library in Oxford used cutting-edge technology to capture the 3D surface of the ancient manuscript, a Latin copy of the Acts of the Apostles that was made in England between AD700 and AD750.

It is the first time this technology, capable of revealing “almost invisible” markings so shallow they measure about a fifth of the width of a human hair, has been used to record annotations on the surface of a manuscript.

“There are only a limited number of surviving early medieval manuscripts which contain clear internal evidence of a woman having created, owned or used them,” said Jessica Hodgkinson, a PhD student at the University of Leicester who made the discovery while researching her thesis on women and early medieval manuscripts.

“Most of these manuscripts are from the continent – it is much rarer to find evidence of this in surviving manuscripts which were made and used in the geographical area we now call England.”

Writing Eadburg’s name on the book quietly asserted her power and high status at a time when only a few elite, highly educated women were able to write and read both Old English and Latin. “It’s a hugely significant and very powerful text – the word of God, conveyed through the apostles. And I think that might be at least part of the reason why somebody chose to write Eadburg’s name into it, so that she was close to that.”

It is not clear why the name was written so stealthily, with a drypoint stylus, rather than ink. “Maybe it was to do with the resources that person had access to. Or maybe it was to do with wanting to leave a mark that put that woman’s name in this book, without making it really obvious,” Hodgkinson said. “There could have been some reverence for the text, which meant the person who wrote her name was trying not to detract from the scripture or compete with the word of God.”

Significantly, she found Eadburg’s name passionately etched into the margins of the manuscript in five places, while abbreviated forms of the name appear a further 10 times.

This suggests it is likely to have been Eadburg herself who made the marks. “I could understand why somebody might write someone else’s name once. But I don’t know why you would write somebody else’s name so many times like that,” Hodgkinson said.

An Old English transcription, and tiny, rough drawings of figures – in one case, of a person with outstretched arms, reaching for another person who is holding up a hand to stop them – were also discovered etched on to the small book, which is barely bigger than an A5 pamphlet.

Hodgkinson hopes further study will reveal the meanings of these figures and the ancient transcription, which has so far proved impossible to translate.

She also hopes to eventually discover who Eadburg was. Certain features of the manuscript suggest the book was produced in Kent, where a woman called Eadburg was abbess of a female religious community at Minster-in-Thanet in the mid-eighth century. However, there are at least eight other known contenders for the role.

But whether or not these mysteries are ever solved, for Hodgkinson there is something very empowering and meaningful about the discovery of Eadburg’s name. “Still, to this day, there’s this human urge to leave a mark of your presence on something that is meaningful to you or is a record of where you’ve been,” she said. “We don’t know all that much about Eadburg, but now, because of this amazing technology, we’ve seen her name, we know she was there. She’s here, in this book – and it speaks across the centuries.”

#England #Eadburg #Women in history #medieval history #old english #Acts of the Apostles #Latin #Bodleian Library in Oxford

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axebois · 7 months

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"lone wolf"

Felix's personal skill Lone Wolf is so good because it starts out better than any E rank battalion so it's SO SO tempting to use it, but if you go that route and avoid putting battalions on him he never develops the skill needed to use better battalions (authority, which he has a penalty to growth to on top of that, so this hampering is especially hampering for felix) and taken to logical extremes this means his overall growth is stunted when at the end he can't equip any of the insanely OP A-rank battalions like all his friends can wow you little idiot you sure did cripple yourself in battle with your stubbornness didn't you???

this is why a good Byleth ignores Felix's little foot stompies when they send him a battalion to equip like suck it up even you, felix hugo fraldarius, most OP non-lord unit in the game mr lone wolf himself, are better with support

I love me a personal skill that is absolute shit in terms of game mechanics and seems to essentially only exist to further characterize felix, it's an element of his characterization that could only be done in video games and I appreciate those types of "using the media cleverly to communicate" things so much. felix is better off if you completely ignore his "personal skill" (insistence that he is better fighting alone) and force him to learn to appreciate his friends and comrades (ie: command troops to more efficiently war crime)

going to go back to school and major in english and then get a phd and write my thesis on this. brb

#I did no research and cited no sources sorry if any of this is flat out wrong its all from memory #thinkin about felix today lads #felix hugo fraldarius #felix #fe3h #im sure this topic has been traversed to death but whats the harm in saying it more than once right

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earhartsplane · 4 months

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Since we're all talking about plagiarism now, I'd like to share this video which came out last year about a paper accepted at the CVPR 2022:

youtube

For the people not in the know, the Computer Vision and Pattern Recognition conference is the biggest conference in computer science. Last year, in 2022, the paper featured in the video got accepted. A few days later, this video was posted. The first author, a PhD student, apologized and the paper was retracted and removed from the proceedings. Hilariously, the first reaction of the co-authors, including a professor at the Seoul National University, was to say that they had nothing to do with it.

My point here is that scientific papers are not rigorously checked for plagiarism, and a background in academia tells you absolutely nothing about whether or not someone will be diligent in avoiding plagiarism. The biggest difference is that there are consequences if you're caught.

I also don't want people to be too harsh on the first author of this paper, or to think the situation is equivalent to the whole Somerton debacle. For starters, you don't get paid for publishing papers, you (or more commonly your university) pay the publishers. But the phrase publish or perish exists for a reason, and everyone in the field wants to get published in the CVPR, because it's supposed to show that you're great at research. Additionally, the number of papers and the prestige of the venues they're published in criteria on which you will be evaluated as a researcher and a university employee.

The way I see it, there are basically two kinds of plagiarism that are shown in the video. The first one concerns sentences that are lifted completely unchanged from other papers. This is bad, and it is plagiarism, but I can see how this would happen. Most instances of this appear in the introduction and on background information, so if you're insecure about your mastery of English and it's not about your contribution anyway, I can understand how you would take the shortcut of copy-pasting and tell yourself that it's just so that the rest of the paper makes sense, and why waste time on phrasing things differently if others have done it already, and it's not like there are a million way to write these equations anyways.

Let me be clear. I don't approve, or condone. It's still erasing the work of the people who took the time and pain to phrase these things. It's still plagiarism. But I understand how you could get to that point.

The second kind of plagiarism is a way bigger deal in my opinion. At 0:37 , we can see that one of the contributions of the paper is also lifted from another paper. Egregiously, the passage includes "To the best of our knowledge, this is the first [...]" , which is a hell of a thing to copy-paste. So this is not only lazily passing other people's words as your own, it's also pretending that you're making a contribution you damn well know other people have already done. I also wasn't able to find a version of the plagiarized article that had been published in a peer-reviewed venue, which might mean that the authors submitted it, got rejected, and published it on arXiv (an website on which authors can put their papers so that they're accessible to the public, but doesn't "count" as a publication because it's not peer-reviewed. You can also put papers that are under review or have been published on there as long as you're careful with the copyrights and double-blind process). And then parts of it were published in the CVPR under someone else's name.

I think there's also a third kind of plagiarism going on here, one that is incredibly common in academia, but that is not shown in the video. That's the FIVE other authors, including a professor, who were apparently happy to add their name to the paper but obviously didn't do anything meaningful since they didn't notice how much plagiarism was going on.

#Youtube #plagiarism #hbomberguy #james somerton #CVPR #computer science #Academia

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jamesbarnesbestgirl · 1 year

Text

Una Noble Reina - Chapter 1

Summary:

K'uk'ulkan’s mother knew her son was special from the moment he was born. It wasn’t until she realized that he was aging at a far slower pace that she felt a deep sadness for her son. She turned to Chaac, who had blessed her shaman with the vision that saved her people, for solace that her son would know happiness and love. Chaac bestowed upon her the knowledge that when the time was right her son would meet his match in a woman with K'áak'o' tu yicho'ob (fire in her eyes).

Nearly 500 years later K'uk'ulkan is faced with the startling reality of his own mortality in the aftermath of the defeat at the hands of Shuri. With relations with Wakanda improved but still strenuous, K’uk’ulkan turns his focus to strengthening Talokan by any means necessary. While recovering from the battle he is reminded of his promised match and sets on a path to find her.

CHAPTER 1 - Nos despedimos con un saludo

Notes:

The inspiration of this story is very loosely based around the Venezuelan legend of María Lionza (also referred to as Yara) the goddess of nature, love, peace and harmony.

I have not written a fanfic in quite some time so please be gentle.

The only specific physical description that I plan on writing into this fic is going to be that the reader has central heterochromia in both eyes. This is a genetic condition in which an individual has two eye colors, with a primary base color and a secondary color in a ring around the pupil. The base color is up for your personal interpretation, but the inner ring is described as a ring of fire in the reader's eyes. The reader is also aprox. 27 years old.

Present Day - Orlando, FL

The world was going to shit. At least, that’s what you thought as you walked away from your advisor's office back towards your own. Ever since the second alien invasion of earth (that you were aware of at least) had whipped out half the planet only for everyone to be brought back five years later, your life had been slowly imploding.

First your entire family had been snapped away, leaving you to fend for yourself and grow as a person on your own. Now, a year after they had returned, your PhD advisor dumps the fact that the University is redistributing all research funds for her lab towards vibranium research. Thus, leaving her without a way to fund research and you without a clear path forward to obtaining your PhD.

“That purple demon should have just done us the mercy of snapping everyone out of existence. At least that way our lives wouldn’t be falling apart.” You said begrudgingly as you sat down at your desk. Hiding your head in your arms in the process.

“You too, huh?” your friend and fellow former PhD candidate Itzel said. “It could be worse. They are at least granting us a masters for the work we’ve already completed.” She said placing her hand on your shoulder in a comforting gesture.

“Yayyy…” you say unenthusiastically waving your finger in the air without lifting your head. You take a few deep breaths to gather your feelings before sitting up in your chair. “I guess I will just start tutoring full time while I’m job hunting.” You said, attempting to smile.

“You know, my mother is the principal at the local elementary school in my hometown. A few days ago when I spoke with her she mentioned that they are looking for an English teacher.” Iztel stated, while fully turning to face you. “I’m sure if I ask she would be happy to get us both jobs at the school. Plus, aren't you always saying you want to improve your spanish? What better way to do that than to move to Mexico?” She added enthusiastically.

“Supongo que eso podría funcionar. Un cambio de escenario debería hacerme bien.” you responded after careful consideration with a smile.

“Perfecto!” Itzel exclaimed, clapping her hands together. “I will speak to my mother tonight and then you can come over on the weekend and we can figure out the details.”

Feeling a renewed sense of hope you nodded in agreement. You finally turned towards your computer ready to get back to work for the day.

Present Day - Talokan - Underwater Cavern

K'uk'ulkan was agitated. He was still attempting to wrap his head around his loss to Shuri. He had clearly underestimated her hunger for vengeance. Luckily for him and his people she had shown mercy at the eleventh hour. The loss was making him face a reality he was not expecting. That maybe, despite his best efforts, Talokan was not ready to fully protect herself from the surface world. Remaining hidden was becoming more difficult year after year. The tentative alliance that stemmed from the conflict with Wakanda would only act as a temporary solution to his dilemma. He needed a stronger way to ensure his people's safety. But how?

“You’re doing it again.” stated Namora, as she entered his hut.

“Doing what?” he asked, still lost in his thoughts.

“Sulking.” she voiced. “You are the one that assured me that this alliance is what is best. If that has changed…” She continued.

“It hasn't.” K'uk'ulkan cut her off, finally turning his attention to Namora.

“Then what has you so troubled?” Namora asked, her concern for her cousin seeping through her voice. “I ask as your cousin, not as your general.” She proceeds to sit next to him and look at the mural he was previously mindlessly staring at.

K'uk'ulkan turned to her and sighed. “I stand by that the alliance with Wakanda is what’s best for Talokan, but I will not lie and say my ego was not bruised by the defeat.” He admitted. “I underestimated the princess, underestimated her drive.” he turned back towards the mural.

“The surface world will turn on Wakanda, and when they do Talokan will be their only ally. I just need to make sure we are ready. That if, when the dust settles and Wakanda turns on us, there will be no question as to who the final victor will be.” He turns back to Namora, his jaw set in determination.

Namora sits there with him, letting his statements sink in. They sit in silence as Namora scans the murals her king had painted throughout the hut. Moments of his history, of the history of Talokan, captured in the beautiful traditional paintings. One mural caught her eye. Slightly obstructed from view, below the mural depicting his birth, was a figure. The small mural was of a woman, one wearing an intricate crown, her eyes full of fire.

“What about Le Reina?” She asked, breaking her cousin's contemplation once again. His focus shifts the mural Namora is gazing at.

“She doesn’t exist. I’ve spent years searching for her.” he scoffs slightly, turning away from the mural.

“I’ve never known you to be one to give up.” Namora says with a raised brow, a small smirk pulling at her lips.

“I haven’t given up.” he scoffs in offense. “Le Reina, my match, I have always assumed would be a mutant, like me. I would know if there was another mutant within the waters of Talokan.” he stated firmly.

Namora sat in contemplation for a moment. “It sounds like there is one place you have yet to look.” She turned her gaze to the hut door.

“The surface world?” he questioned. “You think the queen of Talokan is from the surface world?”

“Well, have you checked?” Namora countered back.

They let the silence once again take over. It is true that he had never considered a surface dweller. K'uk'ulkan had expected his match to be born in Talokan from the day his mother had told him of his intended. He had spent the better half of a century after he had first come of age searching for her. After almost 300 years of no sign of her, he had all but given up.

“The surface world is a large place.” he stated.

“Then we better start looking.” Namora said. She stood up and turned to exit his hut.

16th Century - Yaracuy, Venezuela

In the rainforest of Venezuela, in a small village along the Yaracuy river the chief of the village waited impatiently outside his home. He paced back and forth along the river embankment. He could hear the labor pains of his wife from within his home. After a particularly loud groan from within the home he began to pray to their mountain god for the safe delivery of his child.

A few minutes went by and the chief finally heard the cry of his newborn child. After a few moments one of the village women, who had assisted during the birth ushered him inside to meet his new child.

“My love, come meet our beautiful daughter.” His wife gestured towards him with an exhausted smile on her face.

The chief knelt beside his wife and pushed back her sweat soaked hair in a loving gesture. “May I hold her?” he asked as he kissed his wife’s forehead and silently thanked the gods for a safe delivery.

His wife carefully transferred their newborn daughter into his arms. “She needs a name.” she said while smiling at her child.

“Yara. Our beautiful Yara.” He said with a smile as he gently held his beloved daughter.

As the family began to bond with their new member the child slowly opened her eyes. Both parents paused their loving gestures and looked from their child to each other. The girl's eyes were unlike anything the chief had encountered. She had eyes as green as the rainforest with rings of fire surrounding her pupils.

Present Day - Orlando, FL

After your initial talk with Itzel you had finished up work for the day. That weekend you had spent nearly 5 hours on facetime with your friend and her mother. As Itzel had predicted her mother was enthusiastic about the idea of you joining her school as their English teacher.

Now, 3 months later, consolation masters done, you were packing up the last of your things for the move. You had sold all of your furniture, as it would have been far too expensive to move.

“How long of a drive is it again?” you ask Itzel as she loaded her last bag into the back of your car.

“44 hours if we were to drive straight through without stopping.” she said as she walked around to the front passenger side.

“If we aim for about 8 hours a day we should get there by the end of the week.” you state as you enter the driver side of the car. Itzel was from the small coastal town of Sisal, just north of Mérida in the Yucatan province of Mexico. As you plugged in her family’s home address into your phone's GPS system you ensured that you could see out of the rear view mirror with the trunk pact full of your stuff.

“We better get going then if we want to reach the panhandle by dark.” she says as she adjusts her seat.

You pull away from your apartment and start the drive north. It was strange leaving the place you had called home for the last 6 years, but in saying goodbye you were saying hello to a new chapter of your life.

Translations

Supongo que eso podría funcionar. Un cambio de escenario debería hacerme bien. - I guess that could work. A change of scenery should do me good.

#namor x reader #namor #namor fanfic #namor fanfiction #namor of talokan

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ai-fandom-researchstudy · 29 days

Text

Research Study: Fandom & Generative AI still looking for participants!

I'm still recruiting research participants for my PhD dissertation study!!! If you've already participated, thanks so much! If you haven't participated yet, please consider responding to a quick survey, and sharing with your friends!

If you're over 18, can speak/understand English, and are interested in participating you can learn more information and take the survey here. I've also made a FAQ post about the study that I've pinned to the top of the blog, and you can see more info on the shareable flyer below. You can also view posts on Twitter/X, Bluesky, and Reddit about the study and share info there! Spreading the word is greatly appreciated :)

The study is anonymous and voluntary, and you'll be asked about your fandom background, attitudes towards generative AI, and demographic information. The survey should take about 15-20 minutes, and you can skip over any questions you want. You can also elect to participate in a follow up interview, if you want to. The full details are on the consent form, which you'll be able to read before taking the survey! Feel free to reach out with any questions.

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hindahoney · 1 year

Note

Hey - this is kind of an odd question, but I was wondering if you had any recommendations for books or articles to read to learn more about Judaism for someone who’s kind of Jewish (but not really)?

My mum is Jewish, but stopped practicing when she was a teenager, and I was brought up atheist - my dad’s family are Protestant. I basically don’t know anything about Judaism, which feels particularly weird because I know loads about Christianity, just through osmosis. And I’ve never met a whole branch of my family who are apparently very orthodox and live really near us in London. Anyway, I’d like to learn more, and don’t really know how to start? Or if I should start?

Thank you for your question. First of all, if your mother is Jewish, you are Jewish. You're not "kind of Jewish," you're not "Jew-ish." You're fully Jewish, and every movement of Judaism recognizes you as such.

Second, there are endless amazing resources for people in situations like yours. I wish I could say that it was more rare to have descendants of people who assimilated wanting to reconnect, but sadly it's not. I've known some people have found resources for converts to be helpful in reconnecting, so those are mixed in with my list as well.

MyJewishLearning is a great resource for really anything Jewish. I've found their articles to be pretty diverse in terms of approach, and they give perspectives of different movements on each topic.

Jewish101 Playlist - This is great not just for beginners, but for people familiar with Judaism already. They are talks given by one of my favorite Rabbis, Rabbi Mark Golub, about everything from how Jews view G-d, our relationship & struggles with Him, how sex is treated in Judaism, to Jewish holiday traditions & the meaning behind them.

Jewish Learning Institute - This entire channel is beneficial for learning about really any topic. They have a more frum perspective, but I think that learning the core observant values is really important when deciding which ones speak to you. It's also important for Jews to understand their more observant siblings, as many people don't and that ignorance leads to observant Jews being marginalized by their own family. By having that baseline understanding of the reasons behind why Jews do what they do, so that you can decide for yourself it that matters or can fit in your life. The video I've attached is about the survival of the Jewish people, a brilliant and moving speech given by Rabbi Y.Y Jacobson. I think this speech is sure to give every Jew a sense of pride and connection to their fellow Jew, which is vital when forming a Jewish identity. We're a tribe for a reason.

TY Channel Henry Abramson - Not a Rabbi but many people mistake him for one because he's highly educated (PhD). He gives very educational lectures on all sorts of Jewish topics, usually Jewish history. Peppers in some humor too, so he's entertaining to watch.

Unpacked - Gives crash-course type videos (entertaining, some animation, higher budget, etc) on issues that Jews face today, conversations Jews are having in the community, and Jewish history.

My Jewish Mommy life - Jewish vlogger who makes videos on the basics of Judaism, shabbat, holidays, etc. A good resource for anyone just entering the fold. Comes from a more reform background but does a decent job of explaining different perspectives.

Books

The Torah (Hebrew-English, also has Spanish, French, Portuguese. There are tons of versions online)

The Jewish Book of Why - This book is essentially a compilation of a million different questions commonly asked about Jews/Judaism and the answers given range in the interpretation of various movements.

Choosing A Jewish Life - Kind of a how-to guide in terms of choosing a Rabbi, synagogue, overview of basic Jewish concepts & movements, choosing a Hebrew name for yourself (You can give yourself one if you don't have one!!), and how to discuss with your family your decision to be Jewish, or more observant.

Jewish Literacy - ABSOLUTELY MY FAVORITE JEWISH RESOURCE. Can be read like a novel or an encyclopedia (like for referencing certain topics). I read through this completely and it is an amazing compilation of every topic from important Biblical stories and their Jewish interpretation, Jewish history from its creation to modern times, IP conflict, major Jewish historical figures, modern Jewish thought on certain topics. Genuinely, if you want to know something about Jewish tradition and practice, it's probably in this book.

To Be a Jew - Halachot (Jewish laws) around observance in daily life, their oigins, and why we do them. Guide for major and minor holidays, major life events, and an explanation of rationale for modern Jewish life.

Living a Jewish Life - Another why-to and how-to guide for Judaism in your daily life.

Helpful Apps:

Shabbat Times (Self-explanatory, you put in your city and it tells you what time Shabbat starts)

Jewish Chronicle/Jooish News - News around the world for what's happening to and by Jews

TorahAnytime - Like Youtube but for Jewish learning

Daily Jewish Prayers - Invaluable resource that explains when which prayers are said, provides it in transliteration, English, and Hebrew

CalJ - Jewish calendar. Great for knowing what the Hebrew date is and when/what times Jewish holidays start.

JVL (Jewish Virtual Library) - a bunch of Jewish books

Jewish accounts to follow:

Here's a very short and incomplete list of Jewish accounts I recommend following, because they post about Judaism a lot and give a good idea of what every-day Jews think about a wide range of things. They are really invaluable resources when it comes to learning from real Jews and I trust their judgment:

@shretl

@tikkunolamorgtfo (has been around forever, literally amazing)

@adoratato

@jewish-kermit

@spacelazarwolf

@magnetothemagnificent

@laineystein

@gonnauseanomdeplume

@hiddurmitzvah

@girlactionfigure

@rimonoroni

@anonymousdandelion

@starlightomatic

@unbidden-yidden

#jumblr #jewblr #judaism #jewish convert #jewish conversion #jewish culture #jew by choice #frumblr #jewish history #jewish resources #jewish stuff #jew stuff

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frevandrest · 25 days

Note

There had been a number of questionable takes recently regarding the Frev in the past few days that came in succession . Do you reckon if works in the past decades or so that were published in France and were made available to English readers would it may have at least mitigated such thing to ever happen or is the black legend so ingrained that even with the idea of an era where works by Belissa et Al were in circulation in English to people outside France, the result would be the same?

Before I reply, I need to make a disclaimer that I am not the best person to answer this question. I arrive from a very different educational tradition (neither Anglo nor French), and I actually discovered embarrassingly late about the whole black legend and the fact that, among some, the French Revolution was considered a horrible event (that failed). I was taught it was an event that changed the world forever (and helped shape the world today, mostly in a positive sense) and that it has to be studied to understand our world. So I am not the best person to judge the effect of the black legend vs new historiography. If others have more informed takes, please tell us; I am super interested. Now, the bad (as in, incorrect) takes we get here. They happen periodically, and they tend to be very similar, often by people claiming (and I have no reason to doubt them) that they are taking history courses on frev, typically in the USA. So these takes tell me about the state of teaching frev in the USA (Anglo?) sphere. Which is not necessarily the same as "what experts publish in academic articles", because - not sure if people are aware of it, so I need to emphasize - you do not have to be an expert on a topic to teach it at the university level. You typically need a PhD in the discipline, but not necessarily on the topic of the course you teach. I can imagine that they won't give a frev course to someone with a PhD in, say, antiquity, but "early modern period" is good enough, even if you are not an expert on France or the revolution.

Sorry for this preamble; I swear it is related to your question. What I mean is that these specific takes we saw here seem to me (though I could be wrong) not necessarily a product of current English-language academia on frev, but what students are taught. So yes, it is a good question on what kind of books students are given on the mandatory readings list, and if those teaching are even aware of the most current English-language books on the topic (let alone French). I swear most of this stuff is so dated and proven to be incorrect over and over again. We had someone a few months ago saying they read Carlyle for their frev class. ?? This is really strange to me, especially in the North American academia, where even books that are considered new-ish elsewhere, are seen as old, so why teach something published in early 19c? Unless you want to demonstrate changed attitudes about frev and discuss historiography, propaganda, etc. which doesn't seem to be the case. Those assigning such readings are teaching what they feel is true. So I can only guess that they never bothered to read newer stuff. Look. I am all for authors not liking the French Revolution or specific things in it (I am critical of many frev stuff myself), but you have to use current sources that go through earlier misconceptions. We can't still be stuck at "dictator Robespierre who ruled France", a thing that was disproven so long ago and no credible historian believes in (even if they hate Robespierre).

Now, this is about teaching history at the university level and not about experts in academia, because I do think most incorrect takes we get here on tumblr are from students. Experts sticking to the black legend and "horrible horror of the revolution that failed anyway and didn't achieve anything" are a different group. Though I am not an expert on the current historiography to judge it in detail. So, if someone reading this knows more and can explain, please share!

#ask #anonymous #frev #french revolution

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