#which sounds weird cuz technically it’s not supposed to | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

all-eyes-no-dragon · 1 year

Text

How about we try reincarnating/isekaiing someone who isn't a salaryman or otaku NEET

Let's isekai a jock who cant believe this shit is happening, someone who doesn't know about anime or game tropes and doesn't immediately assimilate to the new world

Someone who won't just ignore their past life to the point where viewers even forget they're from another world because it just isn't relevant

Isekai has a lot of potential but they keep using the same rinse and repeat tired dry formula

Isekai people and not have others swoon and randomly fall at their feet for absolutely no reason despite the MCs having personalities as flavourful as the sand in the sandbox at the play park

Isekai more women, old people, little kids, uh college students maybe? I don't think I've ever seen a college student be isekaied before

Where's "I Just Wanted To Get My Degree In Archeology But Now The Prince From Another World Won't Stop Proposing Because He Thinks I'm A Goddess"?

Where's "Grandpa Retired But Fell Down A Hole So Now He's The Ultimate Baker In Another World"?

Where's "My Parents Hired A Fairy To Come To My Birthday Party But It Ended Up Being The Real Deal And Now I'm Stuck In Another World"?

Where's "I Scour This New World, Searching For A Way Home"?

Personally, "I Don't Have Time For An Adventure, I Need To Be Back By Dinner" sounds like a charmer to me.

Down with lookalike bland harem protagonists with no personality, dimensions and the exact same jobs (or in the case of the lack thereof)/hobbies (gaming, or however they want to spin it). Heck, these guys are basically all going to the same worlds as well so they've basically all got the same stories too. A shame.

This is why people hate isekai, which I think is a shame really, cuz I love the concept. Just,, I prefer to cherry pick the genre for gems

Side note: let isekai protags say weird shit that no one understands because

👏 cultural 👏 barrier 👏

C'mon, this is a different world, there's gotta be some basic stuff the protag might say and be met with blanket stares

Like in re zero apples are called appas

Totally small stupid and inconsequential but u look stupid af if u call it anything but an appa

Now, if u were reincarnated and had to grow from a child, I suppose u would have time to assimilate to the culture.

Ugh, but I wish they would let reincarnations stay kids longer. If their old world is gonna become obsolete, I want to see them slowly lose that. Forget people's faces, the names of their coworkers, what street they lived on. Forget the smell of their favourite flower, the taste of their favourite food. Forget what the texture of jeans feel like. Make me feel emotions.

Let's see them weird out their new parents by not being used to the New World's culture. Let's see people shrug off them accidentally talking about stuff because wowiee, kids say the darnest things

Stop having isekai kids gather 10 wives at the tender age of 9 :)

I like the MC of the webcomic "The Beginning After The End" 's stance on the dubious subject of having romantic relationships as a reincarnator (or at least, I like it so far. I'm mid 100s into the comic so idk if they about to switch up)

Basically the MC died as an adult so he sees all the kids "his age" as children and he even said a line about how he would be a criminal if he got romantic with one of the girls who like him 🤣

I guess it's up to self perception? Like, this body is 13 but my brain is 45. Which am I actually, then?

Let reincarnators be confused about this as well, cuz even irl people debate this a whole lot (cuz it's just one of those "well, technically" things. I think the fact that we even have to go "technically" to excuse it is a bit of an ouch tho)

I'm open to other views and counter arguments on any of the things I've just said, tbh. These are just some things I think are missed opportunities. Like, people will keep watching and watching it even if it's the same thing (why do you think there's so many "Peter Parker's Field Trip To Stark Industries" fics? People will continually consume the same thing slightly tweaked if they like the premise enough). I just think changes to how we approach isekai might bring in some new viewership and increased positive opinions on the genre

Also, the comically long titles are a fun thing but I know some people abhor them. They want titles that are creative and don't basically just summarise the show's premise. Because, with a title like that, it shows a lack of creativity and ingenuity. Not to say that it needs to be toned down all the way, just reduced to keywords.

"Undead Unluck"

"Spy x Family"

"Dragon Ball"

"First Night With The Duke"

"Little Shop Of Horrors"

"Villain To Kill"

"Pride & Prejudice"

"Cirque Du Freak"

"Mirror Image"

(Yes, I did just write down the names of random things I like. 3 animes, 3 books, 2 webcomics and a,, movie/play(?) I watched it as a play, anyways. okay, the 3animes is kind of a lie, I'm impatiently waiting for undead unluck to come out as an anime. ive never consumed any content for it but the trailer)

These titles give you a vague idea of important symbols/things in the narrative, no? But you don't know exactly was going to happen.

But I'm only speaking for some people, I find the long titles to be funny and a bit intriguing. Of course, I wouldn't mind some good old fashioned original names being brainstormed. These thoughtlessly long titles allow all these different producers to just pump out what is, at its core, basically the same ideas, just switched up a bit so the homework doesn't look copied

#anime #isekai #rants n rambles #anime rant #ridiculously long titles #story ideas #half joking #suggestions #people are getting sick of it #the same thing #over and over #spice it up #not just teenage NEET gamer boys who couldn't give a fcuk about reality #though I will mention that #re zero #did an excellent job at making subaru not just one of those guys #I like that he has a personality #and I thought that #naofumi #from #shield hero #was really sweet at the start.. kinda wish he stayed like that but the spin off exists so I'll just live vicariously through that #I like #that time i got reincarnated as a slime #mikami satoru (? I think that's how u spell it) was a really charming down to earth funny kind of guy even b4 he died #and its not as if his past life was forsaken #its a simple show #but I think it does the trick #thank you for coming to my rant #sorry for the ramble

25 notes · View notes

strawberrys-starship · 8 months

Text

So I watched Star Trek 2009 again and decided to do some more in depth note taking this time around, and decided to post it here. I'll be honest though most of it is me pushing the mcspirk agenda and complaining about the uniforms

Disclaimer! This constrains spoilers for this movie and also Star Trek into darkness, I will also say here that I am an autistic queer man, and I refer to a lot of Spock's behavior as autistic, if that is something that makes you uncomfortable them maybe you should skip this post.

Also the spacing is weird but I'm not gonna fix it, sorry :/

Anyway! Onto the post itself.

-----------------------------------

So I'm watching this movie again, I feel like I will like it much better now that I have my own twisted perception of this movie 👍🏻

It's unfair the amount of power this soundtrack has over me

This movie is truly beautiful, the uss kelvin is a gorgeous ship

And the sounds?? Ugh, I love it

I love the fake out they did there, I know so many old trekkies in the theater were like "THERE THE ENTERPRISE!!! LOOK AT HER!!! THERES THE BRIDGE!!! Oh wait..."

I love the funky shape the kelvin has

Ok so, what era are these uniforms supposed to be in? It's not the same ones from Archers days, and even though this is *technically* the point where the timeline diverges, these uniforms had to be canonical in the prime timeline too bc obviously hey were wearing them before they discovered the anomaly.

I'm guessing they just wanted to show that it was in the past? I'm pretty sure these uniforms were invented for this movie specifically.

We're only 1 minute and 43 seconds in.

Yea that ship is pretty damn scary

Oh em gee is Chris Hemsworth, wonder what he's doing here

Side note, when I first watched this I thought he was actually Chris Pine, but I kept going like "hmmm something ain't right here" yeah doofus you got the wrong Chris

It's even funnier when u know that I'm actually a big MCU fan and did a whole marathon of all the movies like a year ago, just full on did not recognize Chris Hemsworth

("Wow Lynsey, you're an MCU fan? How cringe!" Yeah whatever I know, I know, it's got a million and ten problems with it, but hey I love a good fix-it)

Fucking side note- this opening battle scene is gruesome as fuck, I remember watching this the first time and just being like "damn, three minutes in and already we have bodies flying through space??"

Ok so is this canonically what future romulans look like?? Bc this is not what romulans look like in any of the other shows, including SNW but that's all in the "past" so...?

I do find it interesting how many different species they have in starfleet here, because again up until the very minute that wormhole appeared, this was the prime timeline (which begs the question, WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO KHAN??) so that means that in TOS they also technically would have had several other species in starfleet at any given time, obviously we don't see that in TOS itself bc of primary budget issues (that's why Spocks makeup wasn't super inhuman and stuff, bc they didn't have the money to put a regular character in super complex makeup every episode) but this little detail opens up a window of possibilities that I find really fun

Like because of this movie, my TOS crew of OC's has an Orion and two Vulcans in their senior staff (I know I know most Vulcans at that time wouldn't be caught dead in starfleet but they're my dollys and I get to decide what they look like!)

I'm back like, an hour later!

Let's get right to it!

He really does like like Chris pine, like I'm not going crazy, am I?

Is it just a Chris thing??

But yeah I can see why all the fics are like "Jim looks EXACTLY like his dad" cuz yeah they kinda do look like brothers if nothing else

Again I wonder what the theater reaction was to that "Kirk!? JIM Kirk?? But I thought he was played by a different blond twink!"

(Listen I'm sorry to say it but Chris Pine was a twink in this movie, it's just the truth! He gets more twunky as the movies go on, though.)

It's so weird to hear Chris Hemsworth speak with an American accent, or at least his attempt at one

Do we ever hear about this captain like, ever again?

I love the romulan language dude

Wait so do the romulans just straight up not have the eyebrow ridges? Like I think I read somewhere that sometimes they don't have them, but it looks like this entire crew doesn't have them

I'm confused

All I can hear when I look at Nero is the wackes bonkes audio that was going around on TikTok like, two years ago

Idk he just gives me that vibe

Spack! :D

Also I'll say right here right now, I do not support this ending for Spock prime!! I will give her a happy ending even if I have to forge it with my own to hands!!

GASP 😱 we're in the past!

I hate the fact that I had a Once phase, because all I can see is Emma so to me it's like a really weird crossover fic where Emma Swan and Thors child is Jim Kirk

What a mix

GASP! 😱 what ever will he do!

He sounds soooo confident that the baby will be ok

Them both being blond and blue eyed gives me the ick

Damn, poor Jim. Now he's got a million and ten allergies.

Ok ok ok I know this is supposed to be super emotional (and to be fair it is pretty emotional) but with all the fics I've read and fan content I've consumed where Jim's dad dying kinda fucked him over and Winona leaving him as soon as she could just makes me apathetic towards them.

So... yeah.

And I know none of that's canon (I don't think? We'll see as the movie goes on and I remember shit) unless I've missed a book or ten somewhere that provides all this extra information (like where frank came from, sam leaving, basically all the troupes we see with most AOS fics)

Damn, I gotta say that's pretty traumatizing

Star Trek!!!

Yep, we just got to the title sequence :)

Baby Jim!!

Ok so canonically Winona is off planet

I do love the fact that Jim listens to dad rock. Why? Because I listen to dad rock!! And it's very important to me that Jim does too!!

Ok so from the fics, that is supposed to be Sam, right?? But is that confirmed anywhere?? Also they never said who was on the phone, I just knew because of the fics

Where did all this extra info come from??

Oh, nope that's some kid named Johnny oops

Let's hope that we don't have cops in the 23rd century, thank you.

The trauma. This kid.

SPACK!

If I'm not mistaken (I probably am) this is one f the first good looks we get at an actual Vulcan city, right? Like in TOS we only got the ritual grounds, in TOSM we got the other ritual grounds, and then the other other ritual grounds, but we never really saw a city of any kind, did we? It's been a minute I might be mistaken.

And then in TNG, we only really saw some of Sareks home and not much else of Vulcan, but then again I haven't watch the majority of Trek so maybe in Voyager or one of the other shows we see more

Anyway, I choose to believe that Vulcan cities look way more colorful then this, you can't convince me otherwise!

When the Vulcan children are in the learning sphere it makes it look like the floor is actually a really big doughnut pan

BABY SPOOOOOOCK 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

SHES LITERALLY THE SMALLEST BABY IN THE WORLDDDDD HOW CAN YOU BULLY HIM YOU BASTARDSSSS

GAHHHHH I LOVE HERRRR

My question is what Vulcan would think this is logical behavior. Like I know that they're xenophobic and like obviously they couldn't care less about logic when it comes to that so it doesn't really matter, but you go up to possibly the golden standard of Vulcan ideology and act like that?? And then say he's the one who's illogical and out of place?? Look In a mirror bud.

BEAR HIM UP! BEAT HIM UP! BEAT HIM UP!

I don't know how I feel about Sarek being British

Sarek I'm not entirely sure that's what they intended when they made you ambassador to earth 💀💀 but I see where Spock get her "Ah yes, it is perfectly logical to have sex with my human captain and the CMO, it builds respect and is a great team exercise."

Sure bitch

It was so random to cast Winona Rider as Spocks mom, I'm not complaining ofc, I love Winona, but just so random

See, I can't just let her be killed off when she's that damn nice. I refuse! Amanda lives!

Idk what kind of gay little outfit this is bust it works for Spock, honestly. Idk I just feel like he can pull it off but if anyone else wore it it'd look ridiculous.

Is that because Spock is my favorite and therefore can do no wrong?

No! Be quiet you!

YEAAAHHHH!!!! GET 'M SPOCK!!! TELL THEM WHATS WHAT!!! BE A BITCH!!! FLIP THEM OFF!!! TELL THEM WHERE THEY CAN SHOVE IT!!!!

I literally love her so much.

The one bar in Iowa 💀

I never know how to feel about this scene.

Jim Kirk you literally bitch. I love him with my entire heart.

Kirk...

Jim Kirk is a gay bitch (he's bi but still)

KIRKKKK 💀💀💀

Ok that was unnecessary. :| fucking 2009.

Kirk: you can whistle really loud, did you know that?

I... cannot tell you how much Jimby Kirk means to me. Just- he is so absolutely important to my wellbeing. I love him so so so much.

I want a tiny star ship salt shaker

It's also very important to me that he rides a motorcycle, because I love motorcycles

Can you tell I'm very heavily attached to AOS Jim Kirk? I don't know how good that is for my health

WEAR A DAMN HELMET YOU DUMBASS!!! YOU CAN STILL CRASH!!!

The Enterprise 🥹

Did they just let him in? No questions?

BONES! BONES! BONES!

LET ME SEE HIMMMM!!!!

BONESSSSSSSSS!!!!! THERE HE ISSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just- they all mean so damn much to me

I also identify with Bones so much because I too am a southern queer

Ok I'm sorry, I love Karl Urban, but again I am a southerner and this accent... 💀 I just can't

It's so damn funny to me

You look a little love struck there Jimby 🤨🏳️‍🌈

Ahaha I hope nothing bad is about to happen

Ok no the romulans do have the eyebrow ridges, they're just not very prominent

Wakus bonkus

:( Spock prime

I'm sure he does, I bet he studies your ass every second he gets 💀💀

Also I paused just as they cut to the scene with Jim and Gaila 😬 that's fun.

Ok- first off, very interesting that Uhura doesn't even blink at Gaila being in her underwear, but then proceeds to undress in front of her

Gay? More likely then you think.

Also, can they stop making Jim a creep? Thanks.

Well. I can confirm I am a gay man.

I love her tone here

Bones is over this shit

BISEXUAL BITCHY KIRK!!!

Jim 💀

SPOCK SPOCK SPOCK!

THERE SHE ISSSS

LIGHT OF MY LIFEEE

Kirk 💀 why must you cheat

I can physically hear Jim's thoughts going "oh no she's HOT" when he saw Spock stand up

First off- I love how Spocks the type of autistic that makes too much eye contact, like this whole time he's just 👁️👁️ LASER focused on Jim's face

Second, that's a lowwwww blow Spock 💀 damn.

Gehhsjchdishsjs I feel sickkk

I hate that I know what's coming.

Honestly, I started writing fics just so I can fix this kind of thing, bc in my mind Vulcan is not destroyed! Fuck you!

(Don't mind me just reading the name plates of all the admirals)

SEE BONES IS INTO SPOCK TOO!!!

THEYRE ALL GAY!!

(Ok I need to stop for now cuz it's late and I have things to do, I made it 35 minutes and 29 seconds through!)

(I'm bAAAaaaack!)

Bones hair flying in the wind 💀 he looks so disgruntled

How tall is Chris Pine? I didn't think he was very tall but he towers over this random commander

Maybe that guys just short tho

Bones, you poor poor fool, you're so in love with Jim. One kicked puppy look and it's all over for you

Gehhhhh I am not here for the Spock x Uhura relationshipppppp

The worst part is, is that I honestly think Spock and Uhura could work, not in these movies obviously with how abhorrently they write Uhura to be a #girlboss (and then they did the same thing with chapel in SNW) but I think that if it was written by someone who like, actually cared about the characters then I feel like it could work

But also that because I headcanon Spock using he/she pronouns and being just all over the queer spectrum, and I also headcanon Uhura as the number one lesbian of the year, so I think the dynamic between those specific headcanons would be very interesting to see

Anywho!

Ok now that I'm looking at this relationship through the lens that they are both lesbians I don't mind it as much

BONES 💀 YOU ARE SO GONE ON THIS MAN

"Just sitting there looking all pathetic" HE IS SO IN LOVE WITH JIM ARE YOU KIDDING ME

I... fucking love Bones so much. I can't even put it into words

THERE SHE ISSSSS THE ENTERPRISEEEEE

It seems my opinion on the new uniforms has not changed. Idk what happened but I just do not like how they redesigned the classic tos uniforms, it feels like they took the sparkle out of them, whatever that means

Spack! :D

Ok like. Why do the uniforms just look like a tee shirt and jeans? They don't look like a uniform!!

I also hate the longer cut on the shirt, the higher waist line from tos along with the sleeker pants just looked better to me

ALSO WHY DO THE DRESSES HAVE SHORT SLEEVES??? HOW THE HELL ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO TELL SOMEONES RANK WHEN THEY DONT HAVE THE STRIPES???

And then the delta just printed all over the shirt but there no texture to it... it's like those cheap bodysuit cosplays you can get online where they just print whatever the character is wearing onto a polyester bodysuit that warps whenever you stretch it too far

And the shirt isn't tailored at all!! It's so baggy!! Like Spock was looking at her station, kinda leaning over, and the collar of his science blues was like sticking out because the shirts fit like shit!

Anyway... I got big feelings about these uniforms

I ALSO hate how they attempted to make it look like the shirts were sewn like they were in tos (y'know with that weird shoulder seam they had? I don't know the name of it) but then they're actually just sewn the normal way?? So there's like, double the seams??

Sulu!!

I literally love the dynamic between Bones and Jim so much. He just knocked him the fuck out without even blinking. I love it

Chekov :(

One of my favorite things that Bones does is follow Jim around with a regenerator because he knows that Jim Will Not sit still long enough for him to like actually do his job normally so he's had to adapt

THAT looked like Jim was gonna kiss him

Haha..ha... I wonder why they're drilling into the surface of Vulcan... it'll probably be fine...

Spock is like "what a reckless and intriguing man. I Must Have Him"

I saw that glance gay boy

Damn this movie is actually kinda intense

I hate that I know what's gonna happen

✨Spock and her autism✨

THAT WAS A GAY ASS LOOK KIRK

That guy reminds me of the Skyrim guards

Godddd that is so damn scaryyyyy

Fuckkkk that is so. Fucking. Terrifying. Instantly vaporized.

My question is why didn't they immediately start evacuating Vulcan the second they could

God. I feel physically sick knowing what's about to happen

God.

Gut wrenching.

Six billion.

God damn.

On a side note, I find that I don't mind the relationship between Uhura and Spock as long as I imagine that they're either in a QPR or are lesbians

I still don't like how they reduced Uhuras character to being Spock's girlfriend tho, especially in into darkness.

Anyway. I'm still reeling over Vulcan being destroyed. That was fucking devastating. I can't even think about it

This is why 90% of my AOS writing either takes place during the academy or is an AU

Who the fuck is Nero's actor?? Why do I recognize him??

One sec now I gotta look it up

I looked him up and I literally don't know him from anything except Star Trek, so I guess he just reminds me of someone else but idk who

Ok but. Romulus was destroyed because the star went supernova, not because the federation or Vulcan went after it, right? Like I'm not misremembering that, am I? Guess we'll see.

Like I know Spock got there too late to save it, but Romulus is still gonna be destroyed?? If anything he just made it far less likely that Romulus will survive now that most of the Vulcan scientists that came up with red matter are dead.

I fucking hate those thingssss

I love that Kirk is already in the captains chair, he's just that much of a bitch

They totally just wrote that in so Spock could nerve pinch someone 💀💀

Damn. Really just dumped him on an ice planet

Run bitch!!

Spock :(

Oh my god. The look in his eyes. How does anyone expect me to be ok after that.

Heart wrenching.

Spock hasn't seen her Jim for decades. Possibly even a century. And the first time she sees him again, he doesn't recognize her.

And I know, I know, timeline shit, but like, could you imagine how devastating that is? To see your lost loved one and them just straight up not even know you? And Vulcans feel emotions so much stronger too.

Yea so see? They didn't personally destroy the planet! It a was natural space disaster! And Nero probably just fucked up any chance of them being saved from it!

Man, now I want to watch TOS again so I can see Spock happy.

Spock to McCoy: I understand that James Kirk is a ""friend"" of yours

It's ok you can call them boyfriends

These southern phrases they have Bones saying are insane 💀 not once during my life as a southerner have I ever heard someone say that, and I hear weird shit come out of other southerners mouths every day. We make shit up, but nothing that damn complicated 💀💀

SPOCK YOU ABSOLUTE CUNT 💀💀💀

SHES LITERALLY GOT A SMIRK ON HIS FACE RIGHT NOW

I missed bitchy Spock 💕

WHAT AN ABSOLUTE BITCHHHHHHH

Sorry McCoy I don't think you can come back from that 💀💀💀💀💀 Damn

Ok no need to be racist McCoy

Or xenophobic, technically

Oh don't worry Spock prime, Jim's tiny little human arms got the door, just keep on walking down the hall

SCOTTYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!

THERES THAT CHAOTIC SON OF A BITCH!!!

YOU DUMBASS 💀💀💀 I DIDNT KNOW HE USED ARCHERS DOG 💀💀💀

AOS Scotty is one of my absolute favorite things in the world

Kirks over this destiny shit, man

And then Spock prime breaks that rule himself 💀💀 I think she just didn't want to deal with her angsty younger self

Fuck Spock prime doesn't even know this version of his mom is dead too

WAHHHHHHAHA 😭😭😭 THAT OLD FRIEND WAS JIMMMMM BECAUSE HE FUCKING CHEATED THE SYSTEM ALL THE TIMEEEEEE

you got this Kirk, don't worry about it

There was way more water in that pipe then that

Spock: un-fucking-believable. He found his way back onto the ship. I Must Have Him.

Ohhh shit here comes one of my absolute least favorites scenes. THE PAINNNNN

Oh my goddd like I know why Jim is doing this but it HURTS and it makes me want to DIE

Oh my god oh my god STOP

STOOOOP

GET EM!!! GET HIS ASS!!! SHOOT HIM INTO SPACE!!!

But not rlly cuz I love him

And that single shot of Kirk changed the entire fandom. For the better? For the worse? Who's to say

Scotty 💀💀💀💀

Yeah fair 💀

Oh my goddd the cut of these shirts bothers me SO MUCH

THEY LOOK AWFULLLLLL

IT LITERALLY TURNS EVERYONE THAT WHERES THEM INTO A SHAPELESS BOX

except if you're a woman, then that thing is tailored to your body like a glove 🙄

Its guns-UH-blazing, McCoy! Get it right

I can't explain in but Spock is standing in a very autistic way

WHAT IS THIS LOOK SHES GIVING KIRK RIGHT NOW

"Vulcans don't show emotion" MY ASS!!! SPOCKS ALREADY SMITTEN!!

They are standing veryyy close

OK WHAT WAS THAT SLAP SOUND EFFECT 💀

And Spocks face after 💀💀 pure regret

Ok no thanks I'd rather not see them make out

😐

Gaygaygaygay

Kirk "oh wow that weird, wonder why it called u ambassador, that so random" 💀💀

YALL CANT JUST STARE INTO EACH OTHERS EYES LIKE THAT WHILE STANDING TWO INCHES APART AND THEN CLAME THAT SPOCK AND JIM ARE 100% CISHET

I WONT BELIEVE IT!!

Spock finding a chair that swivels on its own fascinating is extremely autistic

Dude the Vulcan ship is literally so damn cool

Whys this damn thing got no safety rails?? Isn't this a ship from the future?? I figured you'd be at least a little concerned with safety, holy shit

I really thought Nero went "FUCK!!!" But he was just saying Spock 💀

Jimbyyyy Kirk, what a sad lil boy

And that's how you break several ribs

Ok damn I got chills when the enterprise appeared

"Jim!" "Bones!"

HOMOS!

OH MY GODDDD THEY ARE LITERALLY FLIRTING RIGHT IN FRONT OF MEEEE

The enterprise looks so tiny

damn, got chills again

GAY

Ok one sec I know that this is like an "omg Spock and Spock are talking!" Thing but-

SEE THEY KNOW HOW TO TAILOR SHIT!! THAT PROFESSOR UNIFORM LOOKS GREAT ON SPOCK!! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED WITH THE OTHER UNIFORMS!!

Spock prime knows exactly what's going on. She really said "that's gonna be one of your husbands, couldn't get in the way of that lmao"

AGAIN EVEN THE ADMIRAL UNIFORM LOOKS BETTER THEN THE STANDARD UNIFORM!!

Gay! They are GAY!

GAY AGAIN!! THEY ARE ALL FUCKIG GAY!!!

AHHHH THE ORIGINAL INTRO ;;;0;;;

IM NOT CRYING YOURE CRYING

also that was the end of the movie! I didn't time myself this time around, but I would say all in all it probably took me like three hours to watch this movie, maybe more

Anywho! Maybe I'll watch into darkness again soon so I can cringe (not that I don't like the movie, it's a fun time, but there are some bits that are just... yikes, y'know? Namely Khan)

#star trek #star trek aos #mcspirk #spirk #spones #mckirk #star trek 2009

13 notes · View notes

aita-blorbos · 1 month

Note

AITA for killing a guy?

So where I grew up was like all culty, out in the woods, isolated, don’t like outsiders and such. Everyone there sucks. My whole life I tried to prove myself to them but they just weren’t having it. I was a weird little freak and they didn’t know my mom and my dad left so ig that just made me defective or something. Anyways, my big day finally came where I could prove myself without it being subjective opinion or anything. Just plain and simple black and white. Nothing complicated about it. The new second in command was going to be chosen.

How that works is anyone who wants to try to get the newly opened position can volunteer to go in the fight pit basically. Everyone who volunteers goes in at the same time and it’s a big fight to the death (or until forfeit). The only rules once you’re in there basically are: you can’t leave the pit without forfeiting, you can’t kill someone who has forfeited and must allow them to safely leave the pit, you can’t un-forfeit, and the last one remaining gets to be second in command. Very simple rules, no one ever breaks them cuz there’s so few and stuff. People also tend to forfeit rather than die and most people don’t wanna kill the people they grew up with so there doesn’t tend to be as much deatb as you’d think there would be in a “fight to the death.”

Anyways, the big day. I volunteer ofc cuz then if I win, everyone will have to respect me and see me for my skills and how much I’ve trained and everything. My two former best friends (they don’t know what the internet is so I can use their names, haha (ooc: these are ocs. Using names won’t spoil any media or anything). Python F and Leaf M. I basically grew up with them. Python stole the job I had wanted for my whole life tho so I hated her a bit and then the two of them stopped talking to me and pretended we were never friends) also volunteered for the fight. Yayyy… Also I overheard them plotting before the actual fight. Python didn’t even want to become second in command. She was just helping Leaf become second in command so he could impress his stupid mom (she sucks. And that’s not just my opinion, like she objectively sucks. Not the point tho). I feel like that shouldn’t be allowed, but the rules say nothing about it so whatever. I didn’t say anything and it’s not like anyone would listen to me anyways. I’m still pissed about it tho

Fight happens, blah blah, long story short, I dropped some big rocks that were like loose along the walls of the pit on Leaf and the person he was fighting, which would be fine and dandy except for the fact that right as I did so and couldn’t stop the rocks from falling anymore, the guy Leaf was fighting forfeitted, making it so I *technically* killed someone who forfeitted and therefore not only eliminating me, but also getting me sentenced tl the death tunnels (exactly what it sounds like) cuz I killed someone I wasn’t allowed to and yk, murder is bad and all. Then freaking Python got second in command, stealing the job I wanted for a second time, but not only that! Her role was effective immediately. She just watched as I was taken away to the death tunnels and didn’t say a word. Didn’t use her new role to even *try* to save her childhood best friend. Like yeah, I hate her guts, but I find it hard to believe that I’d just stand by and watch her get sentenced to the tunnels without a single word. And everyone says I’m the heartless one! She didn’t even want the job!! If she saved me and everything got cleared up and I wasn’t found to be guilty of illegal murder, I could have taken the job she didn’t want anyways. I could be second and everything would be fine!

Yeah, I did in fact kill two people and not feel bad about it really, but that was allowed. It was legal murder and they knew what they were signing up for. The only issue is that technically that guy forfeitted. What was I supposed to do?? Reverse gravity????? I can’t just suddenly gain magical powers to reverse stuff. If I could’ve stopped the rocks from hitting the guy, I would’ve, but there was absolutely zero way for me to do so so idk what they expect of me. They just saw a chance to get rid of me and also not have me as the second of command, so they took it.

Anyways, though, I know I’m not the asshole, but I need to prove to someone that I’m in the right so I need more people to agree with me. Thanks in advance for helping prove I’m in the right B)

#aita #am i the asshole #unreality

2 notes · View notes

askswordfrisk · 1 year

Note

So how are you doing on that flowified fan story (just curious) also did you have a merry Christmas

Mod: With so much going on on my end with my AUs and me having a job, I won’t lie I kinda forgot. And it’s been kinda hard to bring myself to continue. Mostly because what I’m doing involves writing official characters from a series that, despite loving suits designs and abilities, I have my…. Certain gripes with. Cuz the story was a bit all over the place. ^^; And projecting them against these kids is kinda tricky. Because due to the story being a bit wonky (not the Flowified AU or the kids in void in general I wanna make that clear) the character’s development in such cases is….. obscure? Durendal for example at the time was hard to put together on how he would face the child, I know he harsh yet fair. But follows a strict code. Really all I know about him aside from his sister is his clan that he grew up in and how they were raise. Anything else like what his likes or dislikes are or what he does when he ISNT constantly fighting is hard for me to get into character. As for Buster thank god I was able to find a manga about his past so I feel like I’m able to make him go well. Blades on the other hand despite being the secondary character of the show was also a little tricky? I know he is a dedicated swordsman and he more of a bookworm to the point where he calls humans “Homosapians” but even then like the other swordsman I barely understand him to project him. Aside from his master he is constantly talking about, I remember only him constantly fighting aswell. And Calibur….. uhhh… Let’s just say she wasn’t exactly the user of the sword at the beginning of the series. IN FACT SHE USED IT AT THE END OF THE SERIES AND ALL I KNOW IS THAT SHE A CLONE OF SOME… MAGIC BOOK CHARACTER CHILD?

youtube

This series is so weird to understand lore wise despite them telling AND showing. And there are supposed to be TEN of these guys. TEN TECHNICALLY MAIN CHARACTERS! First off the transformation sounds are long, they have an ending song which is not usually done in this series. And there are usually only 45 to 50 episodes each at best supposed to be 23 minutes. It feels like information was cut out due to the books swords transformations and ending rambling on.

Now why am I ranting about this. Cuz here is the key detail to all this.

I HAVE TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT THE CHARACTER IF I WANNA PLAY IT RIGHT.

I’m not an artist so I can’t just draw a simple scene and call it a day. My only way to do this is make fan stories that project the feelings perfectly. And it’s difficult to do sometimes when it comes to the characters I’m trying to present to flowified kids. Cuz this isn’t meant to just be a battle of abilities it’s meant to be a battle of IDEALS. A teaching moment. Not just dragon ball or jojo stuff where you beat the character and call it a day. And if I don’t project it right I feel like I’m ruining the characters and intention behind it.

So that’s why it’s been so difficult to continue. I apologize for my ramble. I am not sure if I will continue it anytime soon because I am working on other major stuff on my other blogs and here. And it’s been a lot more easy to understand and put together. Maybe at some point I will continue. But that’s really gonna depend. I DO want this interaction to happen. Because i feel like these heroes could save them and teach them. YES even chara (may be stubborn but at least they can be lectured). But I will need time and lots of motivation to continue. Especially when I’m so busy and trying my best to keep track of a lot of projects and side stuff that goes on. ^^;

We will have to see.

#mod talks #thanks for the merry Christmas though sorry I just woke up X…D

2 notes · View notes

sturthepotofmadness · 2 years

Text

So I saw this post about Super Mario 3D World’s introduced power up of the Cat Bell and how it would affect characters outside of Mario and one of the examples they used in the catified section was Reboot Vilgax so I was like “which of Ben’s transforms would get cat suits and which would get catified”. Also, I added Reboot Kevin aliens and Nemetrix aliens, but since I was running out of room, I decided that Kevin aliens would be at the same place as who they copied from with the exception of Bashmouth cuz he has no copy and only the Panuncian Nemetrix transformation would be in a different section.

Anyways, here list! (And I shall explain) (walls of text after read more)

Cat Suit (give ‘em a suit that’s a cat)

Diamondhead is human enough in my eyes to just get a suit. (Same reasoning for Crystalfist.) Grey Matter is human but small and frog. (Same reasoning for Dark Matter.) Four Arms is human but four eyes and… four arms. (Same reasoning for Quad Smack.) Snare-Oh is human but mummy. Frankenstrike is literally Frankenstein but electric. Upchuck has just enough of a human shape that I think he counts for a suit. Ditto is human but duplication and adorable. Humungousaur you can 910% argue that he should be in catified, but I feel like he’s just human like enough to get him the past to suit. (Same for Humungoraptor.) Chromastone, same reasoning as Diamondhead. Alien X is human but starry (also Serena and Bellicus would be cat masks which is funny). NRG’s suit would just be cat themed and not caged themed. ChamAlien for the same reason as Humungousaur, but I feel like you can’t argue as well for ChamAlien than Humungousaur. Juryrigg can totally get a suit, he’s an Imp. Pesky Dust, while he does has wings, those wings probably don’t care about the cat suit, like, at all. Mole-Stache also wears a suit, change that to just be cat themed. Kicking Hawk is human but bird-ish. Toepick is… wierd, but still human-like enough for me. Bullfrag is… human but frog… and not small. Whampire is weird since he has wing flaps, but Lord Transyl didn’t have wing flaps so… Whampire counts. Reboot Stinkfly is definitely more human-like than his classic counterpart which was the point of Stinkfly’s reboot redesign, which I say pushes this Stinkfly to the suit section. Same reasoning for Reboot Wildvine, Thornblade, and Skunkmoth.

Catified (make them a cat!)

Heatblast is made for literal fire, how is he supposed to wear a suit! (Same reasoning for Hotshot.) Wildmutt isn’t human enough to get a suit, but doesn’t have enough cat traits to be put in the “Is Cat (technically)” section. XLR8 is why Humungousaur can be argued to be in this section, but I feel like XLR8 has less backing to get a suit than Humungousaur due to XLR8’s talons and orb feet. (Same reasoning for Rush.) Classic Stinkfly is a freaking bug. Ripjaws is… weird, but he’s in catified due to being mostly fish. Ghostfreak is… a ghost. Cannonbolt isn’t human enough for me to put him in cat suit. (Same for Wreckingbolt.) Classic Wildvine isn’t human enough either. Spitter is a walking pufferfish, so catified. Buzzshock can be argued to be put in cat suit, but I’m putting him here for a similar reason to Heatblast, he’s energy. Arctiguana is way too lizard-like. Eye Guy is just so unconventional that it’s just weird for him to get a suit, so his only other option is being catified. Way Big… MAKE WAY BIG A CAT THAT’S HILARIOUS also he’s too freaking big (bird? Really autocorrect?) and he has the head fin to reasonably be put into a suit. Swampfire controls fire and plants while also smelling horrible, so I feel like him getting catified is better than giving him a suit. Echo Echo is literally sound in a suit so… sound cat. Jetray has wing flaps and horns that can’t easily be put under a suit, so catified it is. Big Chill can just phase out of the suit if he wanted to, plus his wings exists, so catified to keep him from doing that. Brainstorm is a crab. Spidermonkey is a monkey with six legs. Lodestar has a freaking floating head, how do you put a suit on that?! Water Hazard is, according to the Ben 10 wiki, mollusk-like, so catified. Ampfibian is a jellyfish. Armodrillo, to me, is too non-human like and more robotic, but robotic enough to warrant it being put in the “Can Robots be Catified?” section. Terraspin is a giant turtle. Eatle is a bug. Feedback has the same reasoning as Buzzshock. Shocksquatch has the same reasoning that I would justify putting Rook into “Is Cat (technically)”, but into catified and not that, it’s too furry to be considered for a suit. Bloxx is a Lego gorilla. Gravattack is a freaking planet. Crashopper is a bug. Same with Ball Weevil. Walkatrout is a fish. The Worst is a potato and isn’t human enough. Astrodactyl is too non-human to get a suit, mainly due to the biological jetpack and weird energy construct stuff. Overflow is too robotic to be a suit, but isn’t robotic enough to be considered a robot. (Same with Undertow.) Shock Rock is same as Feedback and Buzzshock. Gax isn’t human enough, and considering Classic timeline stuff, the big old true form definitely pulls it to catified. Slapback, unlike Grey Matter and Bullfrag, doesn’t have enough human-like factors to push it into the suit category compared to the other two frog aliens. NRG without his suit is the same as Buzzshock. With the exception of Panuncian, all of the Nemetrix aliens have no reason not be to catified.

Is Cat (technically) (is already cat or already has traits of cats)

Blitzwolfer, while a werewolf alien, just needs the whiskers and a shorter snout and a curvier tail and now it’s a cat. Rath is a cat, just stick a tail and whiskers on him. Same with Fasttrack. Panuncian is a tiger so no changes there. Bashmouth is basically the same thing as Blitzwolfer.

Can Robots be Catified? (Am confuzzled)

Atomix, Gotrot, Clockwork, Nonomech, Upgrade, Bootleg, and Surge are all here because they’re majorly robotic in nature and, if memory serves me right, no robotic creature from Mario has been given a Cat Bell, so these guys are just… floating there.

Goop (oh boy)

So Goop… he can shapeshift. To be basically anything. It’s why Goop fusions are terrible since they’re literally just Goop but a different main shape. This will most likely apply when catified. It would ‘t help him and, since it’s a power up, he can most likely just ditch it and go back to normal. If given a suit, he can just shapeshift out of it or melt it.

#super mario #super mario 3d world #ben 10 #Ben 10 aliens #tier list #technically #I used a tier list to make the sections so #cat bell shenanigans #super mario cat bell #what if #maybe?#random idea

18 notes · View notes

asexualzoro · 4 years

Text

list of reasons i find Brook ridiculous

for brook’s birthday, ive decided to follow up my other two posts of this genre by dragging yet another idiot swordsman. i have everybrook open on my phone next to me. here we go

- first and foremost his most ridiculous crime is existing. as he’s already so ridiculous as a character, im going to talk only about things hes done

- i want to know, did Brook make a conscious effort to change his laugh to sound like his favorite song? how long did it take? what was the in between period like? what did his crew have to say about this? the rumbar pirates were big on playful teasing, did they let Brook live this down?

- ALTERNATIVELY: was brook’s laugh already like that? is that why bink’s sake is his favorite song? is that why it was York’s favorite-- oh we only made it two bullet points before i made myself sad

- relatedly i cannot make fun of anything Brook did in his backstory it will make me too sad. hes spared for now

- i DO want to say from a writing standpoint its so fucking ridiculous to me that he mentions twice being a convoy captain in the past and it never comes up again. oda?? why even bother to include something that cool if you weren't even going to do anything with it?? you could have said hes just always been a pirate but no. oda?? oda

- there was that bit where a bunch of people thought Brook was satan and addressed him as such (i think Satan-sama in the original, and the translation i read was like... Lord Satan or Lord Demon or something). not only did Brook never correct them, but he also ran with it and later used this case of mistaken identity as a reason to threaten to eat a man’s heart

- also both men and women were showing him their underwear in that bit. bi rights

- those satanists let Brook get kidnapped while saying they would try to summon him back. do you think they're still at it

- Brook is older than... basically every old man in the series. Garp, Whitebeard, Rayleigh... all of them. something about that is so weird to me and i cannot place why

- Brook has seen and can prove the existence of an afterlife in One Piece canon and its then never addressed again

- Brook missed so many huge events while being dead. im looking at a timeline rn and these include the obvious, like, roger’s execution and subsequent effect on in-world culture and society and whatever. but also things like the destruction of ohara (which was in his home sea), the founding of the world power known as the revolutionary army (which was about 20yrs ago), and the births of every other member of his crew. wack

- he seems to know about stuff related to the pirate king post time skip, and i wonder if thats because someone told him or he’s just playing along now. maybe he just thinks Luffy made up the term pirate king cuz it sounds cool and he wants to support his captain’s interests

- if he DID ask though, like, who did he ask? his managers? did he pull aside some fan asking for an autograph at a concert like “hey, you look like a knowledgable young lad, mind helping me out?”

- i would love to be there when someone takes the time to explain roger, the pirate king, raffle, the One Piece.... and Brook asks them “what is the One Piece?”.... and someone has to look him in the eye (...or not) and tell him “i don't know”

- Brook has technically died of fright (his soul left his body), like... at least once? it was luffy’s fault

- Brook was an urban legend on the florian triangle and i doubt he even knows that about himself

- when they're heading to fishmen island Brook gets all scared when they encounter a possible ghost ship and Usopp slaps him

- when captured by big mom he sleeps so godamn soundly and securely that he is harder to wake up than she is and this fact nearly gets a bunch of his crew killed

- Brook is the only character i can think of who has ever broken the fourth wall. he only did it once. maybe seeing the afterlife means he now knows hes in a manga. or maybe being isolated for 50 years just made his head be not screwed on right

- speaking of, there’s a bit in WCI at the wedding where Brook is decapitated. i don't know how it goes in the anime, but in the manga like... no one is shown to have decapitated him. his head just pops off. maybe he was just having fun

- also the bit where he rips the fake face off in wci. when someone calls him gross he cries

- there’s a bit in fishmen island where Brook is trying to ask Nami if he can see her panties (disgusting bastard) and he inadvertently protects her from being dehydrated by some guy they were fighting. except the panel setup reminds me a lot of / mimics ace protecting Luffy from Akainu, and it haunts me

- speaking of bits from fishmen island that haunt me, there's a page where it’s strongly implied Brook fucked a mermaid (maybe two). i will of course include the page here

- yeah. sorry.

- when Brook first meets the strawhats he invites himself inside because “it’s cold out!” but he later admits in punk hazard that he cant feel cold. he was just lying

- no one introduces himself to Brook except Luffy for the entirety of thriller bark

- half related, Franky cradles Brook in his arms / carries Brook around for like a full scene in thriller bark

- there's a link two second bit in film gold where the crew is just relaxing while they're planning for how they're going to get Zoro back and they're all shown eating burgers from pirate mcdonalds or whatever. and Brook is eating a burger and hes so messy that hes got burger on his forehead, and Franky is next to him just looking at him

- Brook also wears fake skin in that movie

- Brook has a running gag where he gets upset when things refuse to eat him and i was going to make a joke about it but im wondering if maybe hes just afraid of being left behind........ made myself sad again

- he cries when a dragon won't eat him tho

- Brook admits to reading monster hentai when talking to Sanji and Kin’emon and if i have to be burdened with knowing that so do you

- when hes trying to figure out the weakness of the zombies on thriller bark he overhears one ate a salted fish and lost its shadow and immediately assumes “oh, must have been the fish!” idiot man

- where does his sword cane go when hes not using it. it just appears. where does he store it

- there's a bit where the strawhats all use a combo attack at thriller bark and the first step is firing an electrically charged Brook in a slingshot through oars/oz. he ends up in a wall and no one ever pulls him out. i don't even think the manga shows how he got down

- enemies post time skip regularly assume Brook is dead when they manage to knock the crew out and it makes me wonder how popular of a rock star Brook actually was

- Brook goes on a mini rant to no one while they're descending to fisherman island where he wonders aloud how he sees without eyes and it makes me lose it

- this isn't Brook technically but Nekomamushi is based on a song Brook’s voice actor wrote about his cat.

- Brook literally doesn't have a brain. like i know we all know that but its so fucking funny. we make jokes about other strawhats only having one braincell or whatever but Brook straight up 100% just has a seashell where his brain is supposed to be

- why does he have rubber glove looking hands when hes haunting the castle at wano i fucking hate them

- relatedly, there’s a bit where Brook mentions he’s been, at kinemon’s interaction, sitting in a well for like... possibly days? is he okay

- honestly i love everything about Brook’s actions as a ghost in wano bc its so fucking funny but my FAVORITE fact is that Brook is in the wikipedia article about starving skeletons

im leaving you with that. appreciate ur local skeleton today

#brook #soul king brook #One Piece #my posts #ridiculous lists #zaria dont look #long post #this is like a condensed version of what its like to follow me pn twitter i think #i could probs add more but i wont

1K notes · View notes

yardsards · 2 years

Text

how the FUCK do some ppl just be walkin around w their phones just fuckin naked no case no screen protector no nothing??? do you have THAT MUCH trust in your own motor control??? or are you just so rich and/or careless with money that the thought of replacing a shattered screen doesnt even faze you???

like i got a new (or. technically used but new to me) phone today and the case hasn't come in the mail yet and i am TERRIFIED. i feel like if i so much as breathe on it wrong it'll shatter into a billion pieces like the breakaway glass of a window of some poor unsuspecting office worker in an action movie that's supposed to look cool but really just leaves me concerned about how the hell you replace windows on a skyscraper like it's gotta be difficult right???

i feel like there's probably not much equipment built for that purpose because you don't reasonably expect a window on the goddamned 20th floor to get broken cuz it's not like little timmy from next door can accidentally lob a baseball through it like with a normal window. do you gotta rebuild the scaffolding that was there during construction? do you do some jerry rigged version of that weird harness thing that window washers use (do window washers even exist in real life in the modern day??? and if so is there a limit on how tall of buildings they clean?) but beefed up to support a fuckhuge pane of glass and at least 2 people to install it?

at that point it's probably easier to just track down the flying neon tights-clad asshole who decided that your window was an acceptable place to slam the evil dr. spiderfucker and demand he fly up there and fix it for you.

actually, do you think there are any superhumans who decided "nah, the whole hero thing just aint for me". and just used their powers to handle tasks that would be difficult for normal humans to do

like some lady with lightning powers just sayin "you expect me to bust my fuckin ass saving this city -for fucking FREE, i might add-" (sidenote, do you think any superheroes have a patreon??? like might be tricky if they got the whole secret identity thing goin on but you could prolly make bank) "and constantly getting injured because NO i'm not impervious or anything my powers are literally JUST lightning -and, y'know, medical bills arent fucking CHEAP and heroism aint got no insurance plan and the american healthcare system is a fuckin JOKE."

"and the whole time making some dickhead villain who calls himself some shit like roboclown form a personal vendetta against me. that he tries to make into a gross heteroerotic rivalry and he gets fixated on me and tries to figure out my secret identity- yeah, i'd have to make up some alter ego like a high stakes version of hannah montana, probably someth cliche like 'electra' (but not electra bc that just reminds me of sigmund freud and his idea of an electra complex. god. what a creep.)- so that he could hold my family hostage."

(edit: looked it up and apparently electra complex was made up by jung, not freud. freud rejected it, not because it's fucking creepy bullshit (which it is) but because he felt like the idea would make boys and girls sound too similar and we can't have that, now can we?)

"and i mean okay i don't technically have family cuz my parents died in some kind of obligatory backstory bullshit probably involving a laboratory accident that led to me getting my powers. and like, fuck marriage and kids. but roboclown or whatever could still hurt my dogs."

"you expect me to be a fucking hero and put up with that shit??? are you out of your fucking MIND? have you gone off your rocker, flew over the handle, or simply fell off the waggon? no. no. FUCK that. i don't care if you think it's my responsibility to be a hero i didnt ASK for this bullshit."

"i just use my lightning to generate electricity for the local power plant. only gotta work a couple hours a day and i make a FORTUNE. i have health insurance with dental and a 401k. no one forming grudges against me except oil tycoons. but like they could just bribe me to stop, it'd be much cheaper for them to bribe me than to hire an assassin ballsy and skilled enough to kill a bitch with electric hands so like. i'm not worried."

...anyway. if you don't have a phone case i don't fucking trust you.

#eliot posts #my adhd really took over #yinz are LUCKY i went back and added paragraph breaks #this was originally one big text wall.#long post

4 notes · View notes

emlos · 3 years

Note

sooooo those voice hcs 🥺👉👈 (pozdrowienia z podkarpacia :* )

aw hell yeah let's get into it!

in general i imagine accents and other vocal quirks to be something of an “aesthetics“ choice kinda like paintjobs. so the more obnoxious and uh hard to understand a bots voice is the more sideeyes theyre gonna get kind of like shattered glass thundercracker the most boring/”normal” accent is an american one, which is the equivalent of a totally generic blank transformers with like a one-tone color scheme and no kibble. technically theres no discrimination based on that, but in some enviroments certain accents/quirks are frowned upon cuz theyre viewed as unprofessional, like politics. or autobot high command, courtesy of prowl (prowl) who canonically isnt that keen on individualism so, starting with my faves:

brainstorm sounds exactly like michael reeves aka the taser guy (just watch any of his videos on yt and you'll see what i mean) the mask makes everything he says sound a bit dampened so he usually speaks either a little too loud or a little too quiet, when he forgets to account for it

im fine with getaway having a new zealander accent cause after listening to it for 2 hours i conclude its a perfect fit for a cartoon villain, also his voice is high pitched and not very menacing cuz its funnier that way. i also see no reason for his vocalizer to be in the same place as his faceplate, considering he has no mouth, so whenever he speaks its like his voice is in full stereo and its pretty disorienting, esp when you dont see him

nightbeat has a thick russian accent mostly cause when i first saw him his head looked like hes wearing an ushanka and russian detectives are cool sue me.whenever hes solving a mysetry or just investigating something in general he talks to himself, but he doesnt change the tone or volume At All, so most bots assume hes either comming someone or talking to mirage, either way they leave him alone which suits him just fine

nauts! oh boy so i headcanon all camiens with Eastern european accents from various countries and nautica would have a weird mix of british and czech, shes read so many books, met so many species that she adopted some of their speech mannerisms for herself (i get the vibe shed talk like belanna torres from star trek, as in the inflections and the general pitch)

and chromia!! its just jeri ryan as seven of nine with a heavy Heavy Ukrainian accent that she plays up on purpose while talking to cybertronians (its an intimidation tactic and it works) but normally her accent is pretty soft

misfire is australian and talks with a solid 300 words per minute. somehow the other scavengers understand him perfectly. he loses track of his sentences often and just trails off while shrugging and completely changing the topic. somehow the other scavengers always know what that is supposed to mean (am i projecting? maybe) basically voice-wise he sounds like an australian Joe Whiteford from harley poe

while were on the topic of scavengers - spinister sounds like kronk but has the speech mannerisms (and basically everything else) of caboose from rvb, theyre so similar it drives me nuts tbh

skids will always have a Scottish accent to me mostly cuz i watched that team trainwreck mtmte #2 comic dub one too many times and cant unhear it also Scottish accents are mad attractive and skids is canonically one of the hottest bots on the ll so. i imagine hes used to changing his voice a Lot since he was a spy so hes very proficient in literally any accent you can imagine

chromedome has a sliiiight polish accent that he got rid of while working with/dating prowl (prowl). also: imagine a sensitive barista with a man bun. thats what cd sounds like. often while talking hell repeat words in a more american accent which kinda frustrates rewind (who has the most painful stereotypically american accent)

speaking of rewind: hes used to people interrupting him so he always talks incredibly quickly. also due to having an active video database in his head with millions of different voices, both organic and cybertronian, keeping a “stable“ accent is very difficult so he usually just goes with the default one.

im so sorry about this but cyclonus is french. basically nobody speaks primal vernacular on modern day cybertron and french is incomprehensible on a good day. he has deep low voice, and talks very slowly. all that combined makes him sound like everything he says is an ominous prophecy spelling doom or something. he also has two modes: either talks so quietly that noone can understand him or booming thunder voice

by that same logic tailgate also had a french accent but he tries to blend in with the other autobots pretty hard and with time he speaks with a canadian-esque mix of american and french. since hes so old (like physically) his vocalizer wasnt built to be easily reconfigured so he has to put in more effort to change how he talks

ultra magnus is basically a suit of armor right? well it has its own magnus-vision so it wouldnt be unreasonable to assume it has a magnus-voice as well! the voice itself is fairly generic action hero-style with a heavy metallic/robotic effect. also has zero emphasis on words and speaks as factual as possible, cause tyrest was enamored with the vision of an “perfectly detached law-enforcer“

conversely minimus sounds like the youtuber northernlion, in that hes canadian, but he talks slowly and clearly enunciates every word. i imagine he keeps his tone carefully neutral because being out of the armor loses him his pokerface

this doesnt make much sense probably unfortunately but i never said i was eloquent or coherent, ty for giving me a chance to ramble about my favorite topic

#oof thats a lotta words #transformers #mtmte #pozdro z zachodniopomorskiego love widziec polskich fanow tf <3 #im not tagging all of the characters #except #getaway #brainstorm #misfire #nightbeat #cause i love em #text #q #sure hope i didnt forget anything

25 notes · View notes

catgrump · 3 years

Note

Could you write "You're being kind of rude" for Kazuichi and Miu? Maybe they have to work on something together? Friendship or romance, anything you want! Ps. I love your work so much 💕

Anon: thank you for the compliment, and thank you for this prompt. This is a Weird Behind the Scenes Theatre AU by Technicality scene that I’ve had in my mind for A LONG TIME and I’m excited to write it!

This is technically my Theatre AU but you don’t have to care about Theatre or my AU to read it!

TW for lewd conversations

🌻🌻🌻

“So yeah like, there’s gotta be a better fucking way to weld right?” Miu lay in her dorm’s bed, holding her phone above her, her other arm sprawled across the pillow her head rested on. She was attempting to brainstorm a way to make welding more efficient

And Kazuichi had a perfect view. Over Facetime, he had a superb framing of her gorgeous face, golden blonde hair, and her superb cleavage that looked like it was about to spill out of her tight, low-cut top

The more Miu hung out with Kazuichi in the scene shop, the more perfect she became.

She’s sexy, loud, lewd, and most importantly, knows how to handle tools. She’s super smart and she understands her craft and she knows it.

“I’m sure you’ll think of something,” Kazuichi replied, having one of his arms mirror her pose, attempting to define his biceps a bit more, “You’re like, a genius, so I’m sure—“

“Damn straight I’m a fucking genius!” She cut him off, laughing, “I’m a complete god damn package; sexy AND smart!”

“You got that right,” Kazuichi uttered, biting his lip

But she wasn’t looking. Dammit.

She rolled over in bed, now on her side, and Kazuichi’s eyes widened seeing the shifting shapes of her chest.

“I’m thinking like,” Miu continued, her elbow on the mattress propping up her head, “either make the fire hotter so it takes less time, or make the tool itself surrounded in eye protective material so you don’t need to set up the creepy operating room curtains.”

“Yeah...” Kazuichi wasn’t really listening

As Miu thinks up stuff, she always looks around the room she’s in, so she couldn’t see where Kazuichi’s eyes were fixated, and how he was licking his lips.

“I think adapting the tool could be a good idea,” she started twirling the ends of her wavy hair in her fingers, “Cuz then you could make welding more fucking accessible.”

“Yeah, more fucking accessible,” Kazuichi sighed, putting emphasis on the wrong part of that sentence

“Alright, dipshit,” she finally brought her focus back to her phone, “you’re just repeating or agreeing with everything I say— which is correct— but are you actually listening to what I’m fucking saying?”

“I hear you loud and clear,” Kazuichi flashed a grin and winked, doing what he could to look enticing

“Dude, get your head out of your ass,” she joked, giggling a bit

“Is there anywhere you’d like my head instead?” His arm left the frame as he suggestively asked that question

“Yeah, fucking listening to me—“ and now Miu sees it. She heard it too. This motherfucker just bit his lip and he definitely made a noise she’d recognize anywhere, “— are you trying to have phone sex with me right now?”

“What would you do if the answer was ‘yes’?”

And she didn’t need to actually say anything to get her feelings across.

She burst into a fit of loud, uncontrollable laughter

“What?? What’s so funny?” Miu had stopped holding the phone in front of her and the front camera was facing the ceiling due to her cackling, so she couldn’t see how red Kazuichi’s face was

She tried to elaborate between catching her breath, “This whole thing is so fucking funny holy shit; my stomach hurts!”

Kazuichi was panicking. Yeah, he’s been rejected before, but never with laughter. His stomach was in knots and his foot was twitching, “I-is that really so funny? I really th-thought—“

“Thought YOU could get with ME? HA!” And her uproarious laughter resumed

“B-but you hooked up with Leon like last week!” Now he was trying to defend himself

“Yeah, and I’d do it again! You’d fuck him, too; don’t lie to me.”

“Wh-what??” Kazuichi has definitely thought about that before but keeps repressing it; how could she possibly know that—

Miu was still laughing, to Kazuichi’s chagrin, “Yeah, there are a couple huge fucking differences between how I got with him and whatever the fuck you were trying to do— still so fucking funny—“

“Y-yeah? Like what?”

“Well for one thing, I approached him—“

“So you wouldn’t have approached me?”

“Probably fucking not! You’re cool and all but you smell like Monster, grease, and internalized homophobia—“

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“It doesn’t need to be fucking explained,” she laughed, having brought the phone back to her face and finally seeing how confused and disappointed and worried Kazuichi looked, “Second: you’re fucking shorter than me, and if I’m gonna fuck a man who’s shorter than me, he’s gonna need to let me dominate him, and you DEFINITELY aren’t ready for that—“

“I’d be into that!” Kazuichi sounded much more whiney than he had hoped, but suddenly processed the other thing she said, “Wait, my height actually matters here?”

“I mean yeah, were you fucking listening?”

“You’re being kind of rude—“

“I’M being rude?” Miu couldn’t believe what she was hearing

“Yeah; you aren’t even giving me a chance here—“

“I don’t need to give you a chance! I’m allowed to not want to fuck you for literally any reason and I don’t have to justify any of it! You’re like a kid brother to me, dude; I absolutely do not ever see us ever having sex.”

Kazuichi flipped his phone over to put the screen against the bed so all Miu saw was a black screen. He didn’t want her to see him pouting and upset... feeling like he was about to cry.

“Kazuichi?” She said after a few moments, “We’re friends, right? And friends are honest with each other, right?”

He could’ve hung up. He could’ve ended the call and avoid speaking to her for however long, potentially forever. But he stayed on the line.

He took a deep breath, “Yeah. You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“You’re not mad at me, right?” Miu began, “cuz if you are, that’s kinda fucked up.”

Kazuichi sighed and picked the phone back up, “No, I’m not mad at you.”

Miu looked genuinely relieved as she sat upright, “oh good; I tend to lose friends pretty easily when I turn them down like that—“

“Gee, I wonder why—“ Kazuichi muttered

Miu didn’t seem to hear, “They all go rambling on about FriendZone Bullshit when THEY put ME in the FuckZone!”

“The FuckZone?”

“Yeah! Just because I like sex doesn’t mean I want to have sex with EVERYONE and so many people assume that about me and get mad when I tell them ‘no’; it sucks!”

“Huh,” Kazuichi processed what she just said, “You know... I think I’ve been doing that since I was like 14 or 15.”

“Well now you’re friends with Gorgeous Girl Genius Miu Iruma and she’s going to set you fucking straight, you shit-for-brains!”

She was boisterously laughing again, and Kazuichi was able to chuckle along.

Prompt from This List

If you like my writing, you can leave me a tip on Ko-Fi if you’re able! 💛 Fics will always be free; this is just an additional way to support me

#danganronpa #danganronpa fanfiction #danganronpa fic #super danganronpa 2 #sdr2 #danganronpa fanfic #danganronpa theatre au #drv3 #danganronpa v3 #danganronpa kazuichi #kazuichi soda #sdr2 kazuichi #kazuichi souda #miu iruma #drv3 miu #danganronpa miu

29 notes · View notes

muthaz-rapapa · 3 years

Text

Let’s talk TroPreCure! (^∀^ 🌺)

i’m so stupidly proud of this dumb pun “tropurikyua~”, hahahahaha

Last post of the year and wow is there are lot to be excited for!

I even had to make a list for the stuff I want to talk about and I’m sure I already forgot one or two things but we’ll get to them as we continue to float~ along the wave to February 28th, mmkay? :)

Now for what has peaked my interest so far. And yes, we have to talk about the following first:

1) HealPre the shortest Precure season??

Unless they plan for double features in February (which I doubt but you never know), HealPre is likely going to reach only 45 episodes long instead of the usual 48~50 before TroPre I’m using this shortening of the title for now so if there’s a better alternative, tell me and I’ll switch out begins its broadcast.

Understandable because the producers probably want to get back to their normal scheduling as soon as possible (toy sales, y’know) and I suspect pushing the start of the new season back by a month is the most they’re willing to compromise.

As for me, I’m quite happy about this since HealPre’s lost its hold on my attention a while ago so the sooner TroPre gets here, the better. Though the downside might be a scrambled climax and a rushed, underwhelming ending for HealPre (I dunno if it’s January’s titles that feel a bit messy or if the hiatus is still throwing me off) but whatever. We’ll refresh ourselves with the new blood Cures so it’s all good.

2) Tropical movie announced for Autumn 2021, no All Stars??

(source)

First saw this mentioned on Youtube somewhere but it’s all over the fandom forums by now. I mean, HealPre’s movie is set for March, the usual time slot for All Stars release. If Toei intended for there to be an All Stars in 2021, there’s no way they would announce the seasonal movie before it so speculations of them skipping it this year are probably true.

To squeeze it somewhere between March and October-ish would force them to readjust their budgets as well and I don’t think even Toei wants to go through that extra hassle after all the trouble the pandemic’s caused for everyone already. It’s just easier to resume All Stars in 2022.

That, and I think Laura being a major character in TroPre despite not having a Cure title (yet) would make for an awkward situation when the three latest teams gather so perhaps that’s also one of the reasons. But I’ll get back to Laura in a bit.

3) Cure Summer is a RAINBOW Cure

So god help me if I see anyone calling her a Pink Cure.

Yes, she’s the lead Cure for this season. NO, she is not a Pink Cure.

Look, even the official website has a rainbow overlay for her profile pic and text font while everyone else’s respective theme colors are a solid hue:

Therefore, RAINBOW.

In promotional material and merchandising, they’re probably going to advertise her primarily with pink bah and at worst, she might occasionally be labeled as a White Cure with multiple subcolors (her outfit is not pink-dominant) but definitely NOT. PINK.

...also, this goes without saying but f***yea, we finally got a lead Cure practically and unabashedly wearing the LGBTQ flag and you cannot tell me otherwise, Toei!

Own up to it! Declare Manatsu/Cure Summer as the Precure queer icon!

I’m not gonna stop yellin’ until you do! 😠

4) Laura = obvious midseason Cure is obvious

First of all, Laura is a babe. I already love her the best and she’s not even Precure yet. <3

Anyways, the set-up is pretty much in the description. Important main character who’s not a mascot, stated to have a self-confident personality and just speaks her mind (oooh, I like~ :D), magical/foreign being from another world looking for Precure to save her home, possesses her own special item(s), has aspirations to become the next Queen (so she’s a princess-candidate or something to that effect, I suppose).

We’ve seen various combinations of these traits in past midseason (and a few starter) Cures so nobody should be surprised when we all guessed that one of the Cures would be a real live mermaid.

The only question is why not just make Laura a Cure from the get-go if she’s introduced to us at the beginning (like Hime or Lala) and having a team of five with no unnecessary extra add-ons later on (like Smile).

Well, there’s a simple answer for that: formula.

Toei is afraid that if they don’t spit out some new animation sequence at the halfway and third quarter points of the show, the kids will lose interest and abandon the series altogether. Which means failed toy sales. Oh nooo... [/sarcasm]

...Yea.

And this way they can also have Laura available in the Cure lineup for the next All Stars in 2022 instead of making her sit the fight out if we were going to have one in 2021. I’m convinced that’s gotta be one of the reasons. *shrug*

But ok, whatever. Her debut is gonna be later, that’s all. She’s a delayed Cure. Midseason Cure, same difference.

Moving along to the more important stuff now like what’s her Cure name gonna be, y/y?

Well, knowing Toei, a translation of the term “mermaid” into another language is the most predictable route even though we already have a Cure Mermaid. Not like that ever stopped them from repeating words before (ex. Cure Happy vs Cure Felice). Though if they do go down that road, I hope they opt for the Spanish/Italian “sirena” and not the French “sirène” because the latter sounds too close to how Cure Selene is pronounced in Japanese. And, putting it nicely, we all know Japanese pronunciation of foreign words is as off kilter as can be.

Hell, even the the Portuguese “sereia” sounds aesthetic as hell so it’d be nice if they can just remember there are other languages that exist out there besides Japanese, English and French when making the final decision at the writing table! *stomps foot* >:/

Alternatively, “nereid” or “naiad” are good choices too but they remind me too much of Greek myths and Laura’s from the Grand Ocean which covers more than just a couple of seas (Greece is surrounded by three, btw) so...

I dunno. But whatever it’s gonna be, she’s definitely got a strong association with water and her powers will probably be based on that.

As for theme color, since there’s noticeably no blue or green Cure in the starter lineup, it’s likely she will take up that spot when she debuts around ep 20.

Pink is also open since Cure Summer, again, is technically not a Pink Cure and Laura’s hair and tail fin are hot and light pink respectively but looking at Laura’s design and concept, does anyone seriously believe that?

Her upper torso consists of aquamarine while the body of her tail is definitely some shade of cyan, implying they’re aiming for somewhere around the middle of green and blue on the lighter spectrum.

And yea, I’m aware that green and blue are considered exchangeable in some perspectives with how close some of their shades are to each other but officially, I think Laura’s gonna be grouped with the Green Cures.

Cuz of the hair. If Laura’s gonna keep it the same or a similar shade after transforming, that is. The Blues have always had cool-colored hair so putting Laura in with them might disrupt that harmony whereas if you put her with the few Greens there are (including Parfait), she’d fit right in.

I mean, we’ll see but that makes the most sense, doesn’t it?

On another note, I just want to say that I love how they added frills to her arms instead of letting her elbows go bare naked. It definitely makes her look more like a genuine mermaid than if she didn’t have them (remember, half fish doesn’t mean half the body :P).

5) Magical Items

Frankly, I’m tired of seeing the transformation device being a compact again even though one of the main motifs is make-up this season. But at least, as far as Precure compacts goes, the Tropical one is my favorite cuz of how cute and delightfully colorful its toy version looks! So I guess I’m okay with it.

The Heart Rouge Rod, though? ...I dunno. I think it would’ve been fine without that...straw (?) jutting out at the top. It looks weird, doesn’t it look weird? :S

As for the collectible clip-ons, I can live without those for the rest of my life. Yeesh.

Laura’s items, the Aqua Pot and the Ocean Prism Mirror.

Again with the portable, travel-size housing. *sigh* 😩

Alright, I can let this year slide cuz Laura (I’m so soft for her, omg) probably won’t be getting legs for 20 weeks so she’s got to move about on land somehow. But unless they’re really thinking about turning this idea of carrying your apartment around in your bag/pocket/purse into a reality (cuz that would be effin’ awesome), please be more creative with your toys.

On the other hand, I’m much more interested in the Ocean Prism Mirror but from what Kusyami (the Precure merchandise reviews I follow on Youtube) said in his latest vid, this is the ED dance item so don’t know if it’ll actually have an relevance to the story or not. But I did hear him mention it having something to do with the Queen as well and since Laura wishes to become Queen, maybe it’ll be important after all? Maybe it’s her transformation device?

That’d be super cool. Let’s continue the trend of the midseason Cure having a different transformation item than the starters. Honestly, we should alternate every other year or two but we’ve gone three seasons with all of them using the same henshin gimmicks up till HealPre and I just want a break from that.

6) Fin sleeves??

These look so impractical for combat so maybe it’s exclusive to group attacks.

And/or a sort of precursor to the super forms?

*GASP* Does that mean they all eventually turn into mermaids? 🤩

7) Yui finally became Precure!! 😭

lol, it’s all crack from this point on so don’t take it too seriously but man, after Yuni’s deceptive braids, I thought I wasn’t gonna see anything that reminded me of Yui for a while and lo behold, Sango.

kehehehehehe xD;

Though Yui might be closer to Minori in terms of personal interests (fairytales and storybooks).

8) Akira, the actual Onee-chan version

I didn’t think this when I first saw her but once I read “Onee-san” in her profile, there’s no saving you now. Sorry, Asuka. 😅

Also, damn, do her sandals make her feet look big! Compare them to the heels she wears as Flamingo. Are they even the same?! lololol

9) ...this sounds awfully familiar...

Translation:

Tokimeku Tokonatsu! [Exciting/Thrilling Everlasting Summer!] Cure Summer! Kirameku Hoseki! [Sparkling Jewel!] Cure Coral! Hirameku Fuurutsu! [Flashing Fruit!] Cure Papaya!

Japanese reiteration:

Mallow/Mao: Pink no tokimeki! Lillie: Blue no kirameki! Lana/Suiren: Yellow no kagayaki!

….........

@Toei

Care to explain yourselves, punks?!

୧(ʘ ∀ ʘ ╬)

#it is 1:30 AM and im hungry and still have to do work on new year's eve so i'll come back to amuse-rage later #tropical rouge! precure #precure 2021 #cure summer #cure coral #cure papaya #cure flamingo #laura la mer

25 notes · View notes

korra-the-red-lion · 3 years

Text

Unnatural Affairs. Chapter 3: Rookie Hazing?

(Lyn)

My breathing fell into my familiar breathing pattern as I jogged through the town. The early morning sun was peeking through the clouds, trying to be seen. My music was blasting through my earbuds as I turned to go through the walking trail this morning.

Today was the first day of actual classes and practices. Me and a few of the others already have been to the pool a bunch this week, but this is when shit got real. After the disappointing loss to Turner University at last year’s AUS, Coach Jacob and team really wanted to get the title this year. It was one thing to lose, it was another thing all together to lose by 1 fucking point. Ugh, even just thinking about it pissed me off. Turner is a good school, don’t get me wrong. But man, we worked our assess off last year.

I passed by an older couple going out for their usual morning walk. I waved to them as I always do, earning a smile in return. I liked the coziness of this small town. Being able to see the same people every morning doing their routine as I did was relaxing and brought a sense of calm to my otherwise chaotic life.

I sprinted the final couple of kilometers home, slowing down as I approached the track around the football field. Loryn, Maddie, and Andrew where already there, chatting as they stretched for their early morning workout.

Loryn smiled when she saw me coming and tossed me my water bottle. I pulled out my music and took a huge swig from it. “Thanks, I really needed that,” I said. I lifted the end of my shirt and wiped the sweat and water off my face.

“No problem-o,” she responded. “How was your run?”

“Same as usual,” I said as I take another drink.

Andrew walked over and gave me a huge hug. “Ready for the season, Lyn?”

I nodded into his shoulder, holding onto his shirt. Andrew was the captain of the Men’s team, and he was like an older brother to me. This was his last year on the team, and I really wanted to win the championship for him and the other 4th years. They put so much into this program, and just one win would be an awesome reward for them.

“Please don’t cry, or I might start too,” he mumbled.

“Not crying,” I pulled away, grinning at him. “I’m just thinking of how lame the team’s gonna be once you finally retire from it. Are they gonna make Will the captain next year, because like, yeesh.”

This earned a laugh from Andrew. “Well, I frigging hope not. Y’all better vote for Oliver, or Thom. If Will gets the captain position next year, you’re all doomed.”

“Fuck me with a rusty screw if Will gets it,” said Maddie bitterly. “The only thing bigger than his ego is his Hummer. I swear, I will never get over his parents airlifting that thing across the fucking country.”

It’s not like we hated Will or anything, he just was a huge pain in the ass. Both his parents are doctors, and he makes a point of letting you know how much money he has. During his first year here, apparently, his parents had his Hummer helicoptered across the country so he could have it here. Not sure why he didn’t drive the damned thing instead, but the rich do very extreme and extravagant things to prove their wealth. Maddie is a 3rd year like Will, so she’s been putting up with his Will-ness longer than Loryn or I.

We did our usual morning workout routine, just to get used to the rhythm again. Medicine ball tosses to each other with an added squat. After that, 2 sets of 20 jackknifes, 2 sets of 25 crunches, and 2 sets of 1 minute plank. We did our wheelbarrow run across the football field, giggling like fools as we did. Andrew and Maddie beat me and Loryn by a fingertip. Loryn jokingly apologized for being too short, a running joke on the team.

After that, we headed to food hall. Loryn liked to make fun of me for calling it that, since it was technically called meal hall, but that’s where I get all my food, not just meals. Hence, food hall. Still, she immediately started teasing me as we got near it.

The hall was abuzz with all the new frosh and returning students talking about their classes. It was nice to see this place so lively after being essentially dead for the week. I could already hear people talking about going to First Class Bash, the big first party of the year. I never really went to those often, parties that is, since the team had a drinking ban in place as soon as the season started. Maybe if some of the guys on the team wanted to go I would, but I was just as happy to stay in with the goofballs and have our own get together.

Oh shit, speaking of. The rookie party was this weekend, actually. It almost slipped my mind. Today was their official first day. It may sound weird, but Coach Jacob liked having them come for their own practice to get used to each other and the facilities first. That way, if they don’t feel like sticking around, there’s none of that awkward shame of seeing your ex-teammates on campus. Not that anyone actually gave a shit.

I sat down next to Matt and Kerry, two members of the team. They were nearly identical twins, but with different body builds since they swam different strokes. Matt was bulkier in his shoulders and trunk cuz he swam butterfly like I did, while Kerry was leaner but a bit bowlegged from swimming breaststroke for so many years. Kerry was letting her hair grow out after shaving it last year, and it was tied up in this stupidly adorable tiny ponytail, while Matt had shaved his hair into practical buzzcut. Kerry leaned over once I was settled and pointed.

“Did you see?”

“Did I see what?” I asked as I shoved the whole fried egg into my mouth.

“Derek is sitting with Poppy.”

I rolled my eyes. Derek Freeman was one of my exes from last year. Lyn from first year got a little crazy when it came to dating, and I ended up going through 6 different people before finally calling it quits. Derek was one of them, but he was by far the worse. He got super possessive and couldn’t understand why I dumped his creepy ass. He always knew my schedule and followed me everywhere. He would wait for me outside the pool and walk back to my res with me, which would have been super sweet if he didn’t ask to come inside every single time. Even after we broke up, he still followed me places. Eventually he got the message once I started dating Willa Hoffman, but man was he annoying.

Then there was Poppy. There was nothing wrong with her, per se. We just were partners on a project last year and she nearly cost me getting an A+ in Intro to Sociology, much to my annoyance. I cared a lot, maybe a little bit too much, about my grades. So, yeah, there’s nothing that really pisses me off more when you get stuck with a shit partner for a project.

“Honestly, Ker, I don’t care,” I said. “Hell, they deserve each other IMO.”

Kerry shrugged as she got back into her seat properly, finally letting Matt get back to eating. We ate in comfortable silence before Matt spoke up.

“Gunner is on probation.”

I dropped my fork in confusion. Even Kerry looked confused. “What do you mean, Matt?” I asked, leaning against the table as I did, locking eyes with him.

He sighed and ran a hand over his head. “Okay, don’t tell anyone because I’m not supposed to know, but Gunner was caught doing drugs this summer. Like, coke. Anyway, Jacob heard about it and helped him through rehab and stuff, but the dean put him on probation until his grades and attitude prove that he actually got clean.”

“Shiiiiiiit,” I pushed my tray away. Leo Gunner was the best sprinter on the team, leading the Men’s team to having great scores in the relay last year. If he wasn’t allowed to swim this season, we might be in serious trouble. There was no one as fast as him. The next best would be Parker, and even then, he wasn’t near Gunner’s level.

“Oh, that’s awful,” said Kerry, putting her hand over her mouth.

Matt nodded. “Yeah, it’s shit for sure. I talked to him this morning and apparently, he’s allowed to practice, but he might not be allowed to sign up for the meets. I think Jacob might bring it up to Andrew and Emma today, but he might not let the rest of the team know just yet.”

The information sat heavy in my stomach. I walked all the way to my class with my mind racing, wondering if there was any way we could fight this decision. All conclusions came to a resounding no. The university was pretty strict about athletes using illegal substances. They only thing that probably saved his ass was that it happened this summer.

I took my usual spot near the front, waiting for the rest of the students to fill in. This was a second-year history course, and I really wanted to be psyched for it, considering history was my favourite subject, but it was hard when I was worrying about things out of my control.

“Mind if I sit?”

I looked over and nearly groaned when I saw it was Will. I nodded, but he was already taking the seat anyway. I hated sitting next to Will, he just sat on Instagram the whole time, or TikTok. Fuck my life right now.

He reached over and tugged on my ear. “Why the long face, Lyn?”

I batted his hand away. He knew I was self-conscious of how big my ears were, and he liked to pick at that at any opportunity. “No long face here, Will.” I forced a grin onto my face before turning my attention back to my desk.

“Whatever you say.”

Ugh, def getting a new seat on Thursday. I can’t deal sitting next to him and dealing with his antics at practice too. There was only so much abuse one gal could take for the day.

XXX

Thank God it was Friday!

I managed my schedule perfectly, so I had no classes on Friday. It made the other days more miserable for sure, but having a three-day weekend every week? Exactly what I needed to stay on top of things this year. Just practice in the afternoon, and I was free to enjoy myself. The rookie party was tomorrow, and they were a good batch. Loryn’s younger sister Robin joined the team this year, which was super exciting for her.

I got to enjoy breakfast without having to rush it, plus no homework was assigned this week. Today was a nice one, and I was looking forward to just being able to chill and enjoy it. As I left, I happened to notice that Ally was leaving the food hall. Grinning, I raced over to where she was.

“Hey, Ally!” I fell into step beside her.

“Lyn!” Ally looked up at me, a smile breaking out. She had her hair in this half up pinned style, it looked really good on her. Also, she was wearing different glasses today. She usually wore some rectangle ones, but these ones were like a half moon shape.

“How’s your first week, frosh?” I asked.

“Well, after the disaster that was the bookstore incident…” she looked down, thinking about something before shaking her head. “It’s been lovely. I think once I get into a nice routine, I won’t feel as anxious.”

I was curious about the whole bookstore thing, but I respected that she clearly wasn’t ready to talk about it openly with me. Fair enough, we only just met last week, and I barely have seen her since.

“Hey, well, I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself so far! Is it cool if I walk with you until your next class? I’m free.”

“Oh,” she smiled shyly at me, “that would be really nice, actually.”

I smiled back. We chatted about her classes all the way to Bennet, where her class was. I leaned against the wall as she finished explaining something about her drama class. That was a class I took in first year, but it sounds like she has Professor Kinkly, whereas I had Professor Statton. Kinkly was more by the book, Statton was know as the campus kook. I had a feeling Ally was gonna like Kinkly more.

“I guess I should head in, huh?”

“I guess you should. But hey,” I said, “we should totally hang this weekend, you know? Whatcha doing tomorrow?”

Ally looked contemplative before shaking her head. “Nothing, I think.”

“Perfect! Let’s grab a bite to eat, and you can finish telling me all about your week.”

“O-okay, sounds great!”

Ally wished me a goodbye and dashed inside, as to not be late for class. I watched her go before snorting under my breath. I liked her, she was smart and funny. It would be nice to have someone as a friend outside the team. Guess it was just my lucky day when she approached that table I forced Loryn to help me set up.

Feeling great, I practically skipped all the way back to my res.

XXX

The smell of chlorine was something that was never going to get old. It calmed me when nothing else could. I know that sounds a little dramatic, but the pool is my second home. Didn’t matter how I felt at home or school or whatever, I could come to a pool and swim those thoughts and troubles away.

We finished with our pre-practice routines, and I jumped into the pool, shivering a little as the cold water enveloped my body. Right away everything felt amazing. Reach, pull, reach, pull. The easy lazy rhythm of the warmup let my thoughts drift away. It was nearing the end of the warmup when I caught Andrew’s eye underwater during my turn, and we ended up racing our last 25 meters. He beat me and we high fived as I hung onto the lane rope.

Coach Jacob laughed as the others finished their warmups. He was a retired swimmer himself and did things to keep himself in shape. He had one of those kind faces that really made you feel welcomed. Sure, he could be a hard ass, but he just really wanted win, like we all did.

He read practice off the board for us, and we did as was instructed. In in a blink of an eye, practice was over, and we were all hauling our asses out of the pool. Practice wasn’t too hard today, but since it’s been a while since any of us had structure like that, we all felt the ache of the week catching up with us finally.

“Okay, gather ‘round!” Coach Jacob called out. We all headed towards the bench and took seats. Loryn sat next to me and we cuddled, trying to not freeze as we listened to what he had to say.

“So, this is the last year for some of us,” he indicated the 4th years with a nod, “and a new beginning for others,” a nod to the 1st years. “However, the goal is the same. We wanna be number one at AUS’s this year. We wanna send people to CIS’s this year. We wanna kick Turner’s stupid butt all over the pool deck. We start morning practice next week, 5:30 sharp, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Gym time is 6:00 on Tuesday and Thursday. We have our usual afternoon practice at 4:30 every day. If you can’t make practice, the reason better be fucking good. Rookies, never be afraid to ask questions. These guys are your family while you’re here, and like family, sometimes we don’t always get along. But try your best to stay pleasant with the others. Lastly, welcome to the Mount Seamus Wolves!” he finished with a huge grin. We clapped and headed into the locker rooms, where a hot shower was calling my name.

“Man, I am looking forward to the weekend!” Loryn said with a huge stretch as we grabbed our shampoo and conditioner.

“Me too,” I said with a grin. “I already made plans.”

“Oh my God, shut up! Who with?”

“That cute frosh from last week.”

Loryn scrunched up her face in thought. “Gabriel or the brunette you showed around?”

I laughed, hitting her playfully with my towel. “Dude, you’re the only one who thinks Gabe is cute, you know?”

“Not true! I know Jackie does too!”

“Damn right I do!” Jackie said, walking by us with a laugh.

We all laughed as we turned the water on. It felt great to take a hot shower after practice. We were gossiping about people on campus when I noticed something strange.

“Emma, are you okay?”

Emma, the captain for the Women’s team, looked over. “Huh, why you ask?”

I blinked. “Because you’re covered in…blood?”

She looked up and shrieked. Sure enough, something red and gooey was coming from the shower head. Actually, it was coming from all the showers! We all screamed and ran out, not even bothering to turn them off.

“What the actual fuck?” Emma was shaking with either anger or fear, wasn’t sure which it was. “Did someone think it would be funny to prank the rookies or something?” She whipped around to glare at all of us.

When no one fessed up, she growled in annoyance. “Okay, maybe one of the guys thought it would funny? Whoever did this, it’s seriously fucked up. Getting sprayed with fake blood is not how I wanted to end my Friday night!”

“Uh, not to be that person, Emma,” I said hesitantly, “but if it was fake blood…wouldn’t it have stopped by now?” I pointed over to the running showers, where a steady stream of red was still coming out.

Emma’s face paled. She looked at her hands, where the blood was and sniffed it. “Oh my God…it smells like copper.”

That’s when Jackie threw up all over the floor and Kerry burst into tears.

XXX

I was in my room, curled up under all the blankets I could possibly be curled under. We texted the boys after, to see if something similar happened to them. When Andrew and Matt both responded no, we got even more freaked out. We ended up calling campus security for them to see if there was something they could do about it. They said they would look into and escorted us back to our residences. I took such a scalding hot shower that I was still pink from it, but I still didn’t feel clean.

The group chat was blowing up with questions. The poor rookies were understandably upset. They thought someone was trying to haze them, but that wasn’t the case at all. Hazing wasn’t something we did anymore. They didn’t do it in my first year, and Emma said that her class was the last one that got hazed.

I didn’t have the energy to be dealing with this, so I muted the chat for the time being. Nura was sitting on her bed, her eyes on her computer screen but I could see her looking at me from time to time. I mean, I would be too. If Nura came back and told me that she just ended up taking a blood shower, I would be fucking concerned too.

I rolled over and tugged at my ear. It was habit of mine when I was anxious about something, and I was definitely anxious about this. If it turned out to be a stupid prank from one of the other teams, that would be one thing. But if it wasn’t…then what did it mean?

I had this crazy thought, pulling my phone up to my face. I wanted to see if it happened any time else. I did a quick Google search, and found out that this wasn’t the first time that something like this happened at this school. It was in 1968, and in 1995, and again in 2007. Okay, that was interesting.

Okay, so unless someone was dumping bodies into a water reservoir that only affected the women’s locker room, something freaky was going on. I’m not that big into that spiritual mumbo jumbo, but I’m not going to deny that this was more than a coincidence. However, it was history, something I specialized in. If I could trace back and see if there were any more connections, maybe I can establish a pattern.

That was a problem for Lyn of tomorrow, however. I was thoroughly exhausted after tonight’s events. I bookmarked the page on my phone, just so I wouldn’t forget. I was going to need my laptop for this.

I just hoped I could find something that can explain what the hell happened.

#unnatural affairs #ua #paranormal #lyn hart #ally holland #mystery #gore mention #unreliable narrator #murder mysteries #ghosts #haunting #original story #original fiction #romance #sports #writing

4 notes · View notes

cartoonfangirl1218 · 3 years

Text

True Colors

Looking at my old messages from FF.net, I found this old descendants story so I decided why not, I'll post it. Heavily inspired by @screaminginternallyalleternity's Jane characterization and JanexCarlosxJay ship. Mainly cuz I had been messaging her. Anywho, hope y'all enjoy.

"So what do you say?" Jordan asked taking a huff of silph.

"It's funny." Jane smiled dreamily, her mind already wandering off as the effects of the silph relaxed her. Though she was sharing her room right kow, she felt at peace and alone, and safe.

"No no" Jordan said waving her hand as if to clear the fumes "I'm serious, we should go to the homecoming dance as ourselves. Our natural forms."

Jane was tempted to roll her eyes at Jordan's ridiculous idea. Go to the dance in their real forms. Ones that were technically "banned" because of how obvious they were magical. Ones that she hid all these years.

She wanted to roll her eyes but Jordan was being oddly insistant about it.

"Why?" Jane asked, evading having to answer or even think about her playing a role in this scheme. She couldn't. She never showed her form to anyone. Her blue freckles were disguised with concealer, her wings and tattos carefully hidden through clothes in which she had never taken them off ever.

"Just for fun. To show those stupid mortals what they are missing? How dare they make us hide what we really are and suppress ourselves." Jordan snorted, clearly gearing up for her usual rant against mortals and the magic ban. "So worried about what we could do to them. How we are technically better than them, hotter than them"

"That's just the silph talking" Jane said softly but already she could feel her panic coming. Barely but it was there. The silph was suppressing it making a odd conflicted emotion.

She felt like she was about to drown, her head trying to reach the surface for a breath of frenetic air and energy but also underwater where it was calm and still.

"No, I thought of doing it before...Non-silph talking. Zoning out during class and stuff."

"Really?" Jane said, trying to keep the conversation heading back to her.

"Yeah. Like one time when I was 13, I had really considered it. Sorta stupid and immature. I wanted to show up Audrey. You know, because of how she is always bragging how she is the prettiest and the fairest. Also I used to have a crush on Ben."

"You had a crush on Ben" Jane murmured.

She never would have guessed, Jordan didn't seem the type. She always figured she would be with a more confident, brash person. And a Fae at that too considering how she always complained of mortals.

"Ben's...Ben. He's so generous and caring. Unselfishness, such a turn on." Jordan sighed wistfully.

"If it's just for the dates, you shouldn't do it." Jane advised.

"But it's not just the guys. It's showing off to the girls too. It's an ego boost. Aren't you tired of being ignored, and considered to be plain when you just KNOW that you could top those mortal girls any day of the week." Jordan protested.

Jane blanched. No! That sounded horrible. It was enough people thought of her as a freak and avoided her now. Not that she wanted to hang out with others and their shallowness. She didn't want people to look at her like she was some sort of object. Her form wasn't even that pretty. "But but it looks weird, it's not pretty." She said.

"Please." Jordan scoffed. But seeing Jane's uncertainty she changed to a softer tone.

"Even if you don't think so. The mortals will. I mean I have bright pink skin for goodness sake" she pulled at her pink streaks "That doesn't look good but the people think it's hot as hell. It's because we are Fae. It's a novelty, we are exotic and exotic is erotic. It reminds them of who we actually are. Magical, mysterious, thus incredibly unattainable and sexy." Jane looked down nervously, taking long calming breaths. "I'm not doing it."

To Jane, this step of showing off was too overwhelming and intimate. Her wings, her tattoos were personal. Whenever she did unfurl her wings alone she felt exposed but free because she was alone. To do that with people staring at her would be unthinkable and clustraphobic. These over-entitled royals would see her as exotic alright. A exotic toy or object to be touched and viewed over. Just more bullying over why Jane wouldn't serve them or help them.

Jordan frowned, "I was hoping but I figured you wouldn't. Oh well better yet to make a solo entrence. With your lithe curves you might have taken even more attention than me. After all people wouldn't expect you to do it." Jane sighed. No they wouldn't and she was perfectly fine with playing up to THAT expectation.

Two weeks later was the homecoming dance and Jane waited nervously outside the courtyard doors for her dates, Jay and Carlos. It was the second dance they were coming all together and she felt as fluttery as she did the first time.

They made her feel normal in a way. They all had issues but they understood each other. She felt safe, and even if people stared at the threesome she didn't care. The people that mattered to her were with her. As she waited patiently for the two to show up, she looked around at the expanse of darkness.

How things had changed. She wouldn't have gone to one of these events last year. Too boring. But now with the incursion of VKs there were quiet a few changes even some repeals of the magic ban even though she had disapproved Mal's actions in ignoring the ban and giving magic and an even worse rep.

From the corner of her eye, she saw one of the ornately shaped hedges rustling and went over to it.

She saw Jordan applying the finishing touches of black lipstick as she stared into a compact mirror.

"Hey,” Jane waved.

"Oh hi,” Jordan said distractedly.

"Are you still doing your big entrance?" Jane asked shyly. Even though Jordan seemed fine showing off her form, it still felt like an intimate act to Jane so she felt that it and to be whispered with the respected amount of privacy.

"Yeah," Jordan clipped her compact shut, and transformed.

Jane tried not to be so obvious in her astonishment but her mouth dropped open anyway. She could see what Jordan meant by the pink skin looking odd but at the same time, it was incredibly alluring.

Her hair had lost its' pink streaks and was out of the usual ponytail in long pure black waves. The hair itself looked like it was constantly moving in slow-motion as if she was underwater. Her eye were still light blue but now circled with azure. Same blue eyeshadow with three distinctive spots over her left eye. Her black lips provided a contrast to the skin.

The rest of her body had changed as well. A more pronounced curvy figure to say the least. The light green sleeveless tube top was cut off at the midriff and Jane secretly wondered how the hell it was holding up Jordan's pronounced bust considering that it looked like it was one jump away from popping out completely.

Magic she supposed.

Meanwhile her matching skirt laid loosely over her now obvious hips, and where her legs were, now was a smokey wave as if she had just emerged from a lamp. Jordan had also highlighted her look with shiny jewels that Agrabah was famous for. A diamond/emerald necklace. An amber jewel coming from her belly ring. Tiny ruby, amethyst and Amber jewels decorating the dress itself in patterns. Plus the golden cuff links genies were known by.

It was an awe-ing sight altogether and she couldn't or wanted to look away from how Jordan moved and glistened.

"So that dress..interesting," Jane said.

Jordan tugged on her pointed ear with it's single gold hoop, "I'm the embodiment of wish fulfillment. You learn to deal with the no clothes thing."

Jane merely nodded than comment, "It's cool that you're doing this. I just wouldn't...it's scary."

"I know, I'm scared too." Jordan said which took Jane aback. She had showed no fear throughout this whole thing.

"You think I don't know what might happen. Being objectified, moreso than usual. More demands for wishes. The usual entitled mortal comments. People that forgot how magical I am will remember, and want favors. Trust me. I'm sticking by Aziz or Ben the entire night. No casual one night stands today." "You don't have to do it." Jane assured her.

"I'm going to." Jordan said firmly "Even though I hate how people see me. I hate hiding who I am even more. Hiding magic is painful, and using silph is okay but still that is a small consolation. There has to be more."

Jane thought of Starlight Valley with her father. How wonderful it was. "Good luck then" Jane murmered as Jordan started toward the door. Then paused to pull up Jordan's tube top up a little more so the bust was safely cradled in them. Even though it still looked a bit unlikely to stay that way.

"Thanks. Have fun tonight." Jordan said and went inside.

Jane resumed her position outside but couldn't ignore the pounding wave of thoughts she felt from inside. As well as the actual noise of whistles and catcalls.

Jane sighed and summoned some courage and wiped off the concealer from her cheeks as Carlos and Jay ambled toward her. The move revealed her light blue freckles that danced across here face.

"Hi Jane" Carlos smiled with a hint of nervous excitement. His bright white teeth made an unconscious smile dance across her lips. "Pretty" Jay, ever the blunt one, poked at her cheek, to which Jane playfully swatted his hand away.

"Have you always had them?" Carlos asked as he took her hand. "Yeah" Jane bit her lip, smiling.

"They're pretty" Carlos complimented "They match your eyes."

Jane nodded her head bs shrilly and grabbed Jay's hand to head inside.

#jordan #jane #fairygodmother #disney descendants #carlos de’vil #jay #son of jafar #true colors #my fanfic #my fanfiction #d1 #poly #jaynlos

8 notes · View notes

tiesandtea · 4 years

Text

THE LONDON SUEDE - interview with Simon Gilbert (1997)

Interview Featuring Drummer Simon Gilbert, Who Is Actually a Nice Guy Unspoiled by Success

By Daiv Whaley, MOO Mag. Archived here.

One of MOO's many mottos: "When you can't interview the main member of the band, grab the drummer. He's always starved for attention." Daiv Whaley talks with The London Suede’s beatmaster Simon Gilbert.

MOO: Alright, so Suede has returned to the airwaves after a two-year absence with Coming Up. What's different about this one? Simon: Well, it's a lot more direct and easier to listen to than, certainly, Dog Man Star; a lot more rhythm-based ... MOO: Which is great for a drummer! Simon: Oh yeah, it's great for me -- we spent about six weeks just doing the drum tracks; we took a lot more time than we normally do. Plus, it's got a lot of keyboards on it cuz we've got a new keyboard player, Neil, who's my cousin. MOO: Um ... was that a riddle? Or an interview question? I don't know who your cousin is -- I'm supposed to be asking the questions! Simon: No, Neil is my cousin.

Hugely entertaining, 20/10. Full interview under the cut.

When British upstarts-with-attitude Suede first burst onto the fertile London music scene in the early 90s, they were note only performing and recording a statement against the tranced and lethargic shoegazer scene (remember My Bloody Valentine, all you mod listeners?), but also fueling frontman Brett Anderson's love-affair with all things glam-rockish; i.e. Bowie, T-Rex, leather posturings, androgyny, ass-shaking audience flirtation, and potent pop rock. Melody Maker, the "Big Ben" of English music culture, even named them "best new band" of 1992. Then, they changed their name to the London Suede due to technicalities, got all arty on Dog Man Star, and performed a submarine dive from public view as Oasis and Brit-pop rose to the surface of the toilet ... er ... the pond of the microcosm which is the British rock scene, though several critics credit Suede as being the forerunners of Brit-pop, anyway. Now it's 1997, and the London Suede have risen again to deliver their third full release, Coming Up. Whether the "coming up" refers to Suede's bank account figures or a vomitous reaction from their fans at their new sound is a subject MOO's Daiv Whaley tries to discover, oh-so-politely, as he chats with drummer Simon Gilbert, all the way from the gray shores of England.

MOO: Alright, so Suede has returned to the airwaves after a two-year absence with Coming Up. What's different about this one?

Simon: Well, it's a lot more direct and easier to listen to than, certainly, Dog Man Star; a lot more rhythm-based ...

MOO: Which is great for a drummer!

Simon: Oh yeah, it's great for me -- we spent about six weeks just doing the drum tracks; we took a lot more time than we normally do. Plus, it's got a lot of keyboards on it cuz we've got a new keyboard player, Neil, who's my cousin.

MOO: Um ... was that a riddle? Or an interview question? I don't know who your cousin is -- I'm supposed to be asking the questions!

Simon: No, Neil is my cousin.

MOO: Oh, sorry.

Simon: So, we have some very good pop songs on it -- there's going to be five singles, and we could have done seven or eight, to be honest. It's just a much more accessible album, and it's opening people's ears who haven't been listening to Suede before, particularly in Europe and Britain. We're selling a lot more records than we ever have before.

MOO: That's riffing.

Simon: Yes, it is riffing.

MOO: So then, is Suede a pop band or a rock band?

Simon: We're a prock band!

MOO: My fave songs on your discs are always the audio-experimenia ones, like "Dandy's Speeding," "Introducing the Band" or "Moving" ...

Simon: That's one of the first tunes we ever recorded! We don't play it live anymore -- the drum bit's too fast for me nowadays.

MOO: Well, those types of songs really seem to distance you from the more plebeian, predictable, 90s-modrock types of bands. Are those kinds of songs written with that type of production in mind?

Simon: Well, "Introducing the Band" certainly was -- it was one of the last tracks we recorded for Dog Man Star, and after we heard it, we just thought, "What was that?" But it was intentional to make it a bit weird.

MOO: Did Brian Eno approach the band about doing an incredibly long version of the tune ...

Simon: That incredibly long, incredibly boring version? No, we approached him for some bizarre reason, I don't know why. I'm not criticizing the bloke -- he does amazing work, but at the end of the day, all we were left with was the reverb; he took everything else out but the echo ... I was expecting a little bit more of the original version -- I bet there's not one person in the fucking country who's played the whole thing all the way through. I know I haven't!

MOO: Yuk yuk. Your former guitarist and co-songwriter Bernard Butler ...

Simon: Bernard Buttocks!

MOO: ... exited Suede after recording Dog Man Star and has been replaced by the very young Richard Oakes. What, is he 19 now?

Simon: No, he's actually 20 now and getting up in the double digits!

MOO: This is the first disc he's done with Suede. Was he up to the task?

Simon: More so than we'd ever expected, to be honest. We did a few demos before the album and after three or four, it was just no problem with him at all. Easy peasey! For someone so young and so inexperienced, I don't know how he did it, but he did.

MOO: Did you just say "easy peasey"? Never mind, what about this new keyboardist? Some cynics say that when a guitar band takes on a keyboardist, the band's death knell has begun, and now your own cousin, Neil Codling, is an official Suedester. "Codling," what a great last name.

Simon: Yeah, Codling, like in "molly codling." Have you heard that expression?

MOO: Yes, I studied English literature, with a minor in advanced cybernetic design.

Simon: Hmmnn. But about those cynics, they're wrong, at least in Suede's case -- Neil has done nothing but improve upon what we can do and the limits we can reach on our albums. Also, live, our sound is so much fuller. And we can still fuckin' rock out as well. Now, if we got a brass section, that might kill a band.

MOO: I've heard that Bowie is a fan? Has the band had any dealings with him as of yet?

Simon: Yes, he is. Um, we played with him last summer, in Spain, in the Pyrenees Mountains. He requested we play and we opened for him and he watched the whole gig from the sidestage, which was a bit nerve-racking. But yes, he's a big fan and he's fifty years old now.

MOO: Rockstar, painter, actor and Suede fan ... What more can you ask?

Simon: Not very much!

MOO: Speaking of playing live, you guys toured America for Dog Man Star -- how would you say a US audience compares to a British crowd?

Simon: Well, it really depends. I couldn't really generalize that much, because in L.A. or someplace like San Francisco, they're probably wilder than a British audience, but then you look at some place in Texas ... they sort of spit on us, they don't really like us there. It's a bit different in America, but there are some parts of it where it feels like you could be in London.

MOO: So, I take it while you're almost worshipped in Britain, America really hasn't caught on yet?

Simon: Hasn't caught on yet ... we're not saying we're giving up on it at all, but we're just playing it by ear. I believe that's the expression for it. We're gonna come over and do 10 dates and see how the album is received, but there's no real point in banging your head against a brick wall. If America on the whole doesn't get it, then fair enough, but I really hope they do, cuz it's a great album, a lot more America-friendly as well.

MOO: I've read Brett describe the band as being "political." I know Suede had been involved in the animal rights movement, and gay rights, and freedom issues. Do you find American music to be more or less politically-motivated on the whole than British stuff?

Simon: Well, I'd say that quote was probably taken out of context ... We're a political band in a human sense, not in a government politics kind of way. Yeah, we'll stand up in the House of Parliament and say, "This is wrong and blah blah blah," and we'll protest like that, but in the songs, there's no political manifesto of any kind -- it's purely human "politics" in our music. As for American bands, I really can't say ... I'm very stuck in the 60s and 70s in terms of music, and I don't really ask myself if this or that band is American or British, but rather, are they good or bad bands?

MOO: There's been a bit of a buzz in the US over the Brit-pop scene -- particularly Oasis and Blur. Where does Suede seem to fit into that whole genre, anyway?

Simon: Blur? They're shitty. Oasis is actually pretty good. Suede doesn't really fit into that scene at all; it was lucky we were away when it sort of kicked-off, and luckily we weren't lumped into that whole thing, cuz now the scene is dead, there's no such thing as Brit-pop anymore in England, and when a scene dies off, all the bands die off with it. So America, don't bother with it. It's really just the media sticking another tag on some scene -- it's useless crap, really.

MOO: Okay, how about the whole androgyny/bisexuality slant of a lot of Suede's songs -- if it's not just image-mongering to get attention ...

Simon: No, it's not.

MOO: So, why is Suede so revelatory about their sexual preferences?

Simon: Because the people we hang around with ... we hang around with each other, we're all friends, and the other people who come from lots of different areas of society, and at the end of the day everyone's aware of sexuality and the different types of sexuality, and consequently Brett writes about the people we hang around with and the way we live. It's just about being open and honest, really.

MOO: Right -- skinstorms together and all that.

Simon: Exactly; singing about things that other people don't sing about -- we don't sing about birds and flowers and the sky and things like that.

MOO: Speaking about singing -- there's lots of stories and rumors about your Brett Anderson. He seems like a real character.

Simon: All the stories are probably true!

MOO: Considering he'll probably never see this interview, what do you have to say about Mr. Anderson?

Simon: About Mr. Anderson? He's become one of my best friends; he's perceived as being aloof and stuff like that, but at the end of the day, he's one of the most genuine people I know. He's a lovely bloke, that's my honest opinion, and make sure he doesn't see that or I'll become really embarrassed.

MOO: Last question. Before '92, critics and clubs seemed to hate you. Then, you end up on the cover of Melody Maker, your disc goes to number one and beats out Depeche Mode, and you're big-time rock stars. What happened?

Simon: Well, that Melody Maker cover did help, let's be honest.

MOO: The power of the press!

Simon: Yeah. But even before that ... I don't know what happened. We played at this place called the Falcon in Camden, which is a famous sort of indie hangout. We played there one weekend to, like, eight people. Then the next weekend we played there again and the place was packed. All these stars came down there, people like Morrissey, and things just started to happen. I really don't know what happened -- I think people really got bored with the scene at the time, there was a lot of techno and shoegazey stuff going on and the indie scene was boring. We kind of laid that stuff to rest when we got going. There were people who I think were bored with not seeing real entertainers up on stage, and we were a band that was entertaining, which might have been why people didn't like us at the time -- they were so used to seeing the shoegazing stuff going on.

MOO: Yeah, let's look at our sneakers for an hour and play guitars!

Simon: Right, how entertaining is that? Might as well just sit at home and listen to their records.

MOO: And the rest is history, as they say.

Simon: Yeah, something like that.

#suede #simon gilbert #coming up #coming up month

12 notes · View notes

exkernal · 4 years

Text

Ode to a 6,000 Ft. Fire Squid

"Yo, how much longer?" Jason pants. "My arms are getting sore."

"Jason, we are literally going to hell," Michael says, struggling to keep the irritation out of his voice. Jason means well. He's just worried about Janet. And he's the only friend who's never doubted Michael (he still can't get over the look of doubt in Eleanor's eyes. That she, of all people, would doubt him).

"But can't we, like, take a magic elevator or something? I thought hell was suppose to be down?"

"That's not how it works."

"Aw, dip."

It's only Michael, Jason, and poor goopy Glenn on this empty stretch of railway. As much as he loves Jason, the kid's not his first pick for Bad Place infultrating companion. That would be Eleanor or Janet. Janet for her steadfast knowledge, Eleanor for her emotional support. Well, Eleanor used to be his emotional support. Now he's not sure any more.

Michael doesn't have a heart, but if he did, it'd be beating like crazy. The last time he was in the Bad Place, he nearly destroyed himself. Willingly, too. He remembers Eleanor, standing in the blue glow, the fear and confusion such a strange look on his one time foe's face.

How could he be so afraid of the place he'd once called home? Maybe because it never felt like home to begin with.

"Oh, dip, you know waht I just realized?" Jason says with all the subtlty of a Molotov cocktail. "We'd get there a lot faster if there was someone who was, like, 6,000 feet tall with tentacles."

Michael sighs. "Jason, buddy, for the last time, I'm not taking off the skin suit."

"Come on, Mike! It would be the dopest thing I've ever seen, and I once saw a gator on a jetski."

He regrets ever telling them about his true form. From the moment the humans became his friends, he vowed to never, ever tell them. That was the Old Michael, the Demon Michael (never mind that he technically was still a demon. That was one of the 1,785,919 things he tried not to think about). New, Honorary Human Michael had nothing to do with that, except that maybe his skin suit was a little warmer to the touch than the average human's.

But Eleanor, fiesty little thing that she was, hadn't given him a choice. When she barged into his room, demanding he take off his skin suit, he wanted to flee the Medium Place with his tentacles tucked between his...other tentacles (okay, that metaphor doesn't work).

Maybe he should've lied about it, like that time he told the humans "demon" was a racist term. Oh, it was so funny watching Chidi sweat over using that word in his presence. But then he might get in trouble for lying again, and they'd be even madder at him.

Now he half-wishes he'd lied. Jason hasn't shut up about it ever since.

"No," Michael says.

Jason huffs. "Okay, Michael, I know you don't wanna talk about it, and normally I'd respect that--"

"You would?" Michael says.

"--but I need a distraction. It's a long ass trip, and I can't stop thinking aobut what they're doing to Janet."

Michael sympathizes. He also dosen't want to think about Janet's current torture, and unlike poor naive Jason, he actually knows what the Bad Place is capable of.

Michael pinches his nose, digging his glasses into his human skin. "Okay, okay, but nothing about my skin suit. Lemme think...oh, I know! Why was Eleanor so upset that I lied? I thought humans lie all the time--for good reasons, I mean. Like when the truth will hurt. So why did Eleanor...look at me like that?"

It's been weighing on him.

"Look, man, I think it's like this. I told a lotta lies in my life. Like, 'No, Donkey Doug, I didn't frame her with those boagie boards. What's a boagie board?' Or, 'I swear, officer, I don't know how 200 prescription pads got on my dash.' But I always kept it real with Pillboi. He was my boy. You always keep it real with your boys and your girlfriend, and Eleanor's kind of like both to you."

Michael was stunned. He thought he'd been helping Eleanor, protecting her from the Bad Place's schemes and his own miserable shortcomings. It was still strange that he had to relinquish control over their afterlife, whether as a the puppetmaster demon or benevolent whatever he was.

Finally, he says, "She's not my girlfriend, but thanks. I think I understand."

"I don't know," Jason says. "The way you look at her is like how I feel whenever Janet bings into the room."

Michael's angry but he's not sure why.

"No," he says flatly. "She's not."

"Whatever you say, dude," Jason says. He doesn't like the skeptical look on the human's face. Though he should be satisfied that Jason isn't scared of his scowl; it means he's not that demonic in his friend's eyes.

Michael decides to drop it.

"It just hurts. That Eleanor didn't trust me," Michael admits.

"But she trusts you now, right?" Jason says.

"I think so. She hugged me."

Before he left that morning, Eleanor met him in the hallway of Mindy's house.

"Hey, demon buddy," she said, wrapping her arms around his back, pressing her tiny body against his. He let his chin rest atop her head, and savored her Eleanor scent, which for some reason smelled more like nachos than shrimp today.

"Are we good?" she asked into his chest. He wanted to squeeze her tighter, but not in a torture-y way. He never wanted to let her go, even though he knew he had to. Why? It wasn't like that with the other humans, as much as he loved them. Something about Eleanor made him want to hold onto her forever.

"We're good," he said.

"I'm gonna miss you," she said. "You saved my ash so many times running this place."

"Yeah, well. You saved mine."

He loved it when she smiled.

"Homie, that's great!" Jason's voice crashes over the memory. "So don't bug out over it, alright?"

"Yeah," Michael says. So why does he still have this itchy, heavy feeling? It's like he's wearing one of Chidi's too small sweater vests--but maybe that's becasuse he always feels this way around Chidi, or specifically, Chidi with Eleanor.

There's a fleeting moment of silence. Then Glenn gloops. Then Jason opens his mouth.

"Sooo, Mikey," he says. "Since I helped you, could you answer some questions for me? Like squid pro quo."

Micheal hides his face in his hands, unable to look Jason in his dopey, earnest face. He doesn't look up until his shoulders stop shaking.

"Fine. One question."

"Are the teeth on the tentacles or somewhere else?" Jason asks. "What kind of juice? Does it taste weird after you brush your teeth? Can you still wear your bowtie? Do all squids wear bowties, or just demons, cuz I never seen Squidward with a bowtie. Did you ever destroy a city like Godzilla? Can I ride on you back? How does a 6,000 foot fire ma jig fit in a people sized suit?"

Demons shouldn't get headaches, but boy does Michael have one now.

"I fit because demons aren't physical beings," Michael says once Jason pauses for a breath that he doesn't technically need. "We're essence. It's like pouring water out of a big glass into a small glass."

"Oh, dip, I get it," Jason says, though Michael isn't sure that's true. "Now what about--"

"No," Michael growls, "only one."

Surprisingly, Jason doesn't argue back.

"Hey, Michael?"

"Yeah?"

"You know we all still like you, right?"

"What?" Michael snaps his head up.

"We'd still like you even if you were something totally lame like a snow hamster. Actually, that sounds cute. Hey, are those even real?"

"Jason," Michael says.

"Right. Point is, no matter what you are, we still love you, man. Even Eleanor. So don't, like, hate yourself, okay?"

Michael's skin suit feels tight. He smiles.

"Oh, Jason," he says. He hears the hitch in his voice--something that would've shamed his former self. "Thank you."

"No problem, homes," Jason says.

For one blissfully short moment, Michael forgets where they're going, and simply enjoys the shared moment with his friend.

And Glenn.

#hellstrop #the good place #michael (tgp)#jason mendoza #eleanor shellstrop #reposting my old fics

15 notes · View notes