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#which to be fair he is
callisteios · 8 months
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Hi, feel free to take my new uquiz to discover what kind of vampire you are!
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ofswordsandpens · 7 months
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its funny because Percy has been spiraling ever since pjo and whenever he has a particularly bad episode you have other characters actively worried about it and you think to yourself surely they're going to intervene, surely someone is going to talk to him about it, and then like no one ever does lol
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cherrytraveller · 1 year
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can’t have SHIT in this family
Twitter || Ko-fi || Instagram
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bowenoke · 8 months
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in scott's pov (ep7) he refers to scar as grian's husband. no one tells him this is not the case. this is because traffic!scott decides who is and is not married like some sort of contractually binding arbiter of love. to me anyways
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p4nishers · 4 months
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god. GOD. the underlying anger in everything terry writes really IS apparent in hogfather bc fuck u mean this is how things should be? no the fuck it shouldn't. poor people shouldn't have to be satisfied with what they get, that's just fucking capitalism. i REALLY like that terry decided to use death as projection for what he thinks bc death doesn't know anything and it has to be explained to him and by it being explained to him it shows how fucking stupid those things are. bc ok here's this world where an equivalent of santa ACTUALLY exists and, because it mirrors our world, it's still unjust. santa actually fucking exists in this world and he could give ANYONE ANYTHING bc he's essentially a god and people gave him that power by making him up, BUT because ppl imagined him in a way that poor people don't get shit (like they usually do) and rich people get EVERYTHING they want, he exists like that. whereas death has seen the absolutely WORST of humanity and he STILL thinks that's bullshit and it's not how it should be, it's just how it goes. bc capitalism is always capitalism where there's money and the world will always be fucked up as long as there are oppressor to hold it up. like i just.
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ryllen · 3 months
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" so don't yell at me if i suck " x
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puppetmaster13u · 4 months
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Who wants a prompt entirely in memes.
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egophiliac · 6 months
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"IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A JOKE" As someone who's been playing TWST since march and stopped going out of my way to be spoilerfree after I got stuck at Overblott!Jamil? That's honestly been one of my favorite things about it - seeing something in fanart or a comment you think is just fans joking, only for it to be canon. "The economy!", "May I also throw a tantrum?", Malleus' gargoyle thing, and... everything about Rook being my top examples.
there's a whole bit in Trey's platinum birthday card where he goes on about how he became increasingly obsessed with mustard for like a week straight until the other students held an intervention. how are you supposed to talk about this. how can you bring up something like Trey's descent into mustard obsession to the point that the other characters are worried for him without it sounding like the most obvious lolrandom "he mentioned it once and now fandom acts like he puts mustard in everything" joke. also, how can I slip this into every Twst post from now on, because I need everyone in the world to know that this is a real canon fact about Trey "I'm just an average normal guy (who sticks my hands into people's mouths and owns 20 toothbrushes and used to eat flowers off the side of the road)" Clover.
for bonus points, 1) the punchline is that he still doesn't even like mustard that much, 2) he's saying all of this to Leona, and 3) Leona is actually kind of invested in Trey's mustard story for some reason, which is the most unbelievable part of all of this to be honest. (then Trey gets distracted by a painting of the Cheshire Cat and Leona takes the opportunity to powerwalk away to freedom before they can start talking about dijon versus spicy brown or whatever and extend this bit even longer)
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 3 months
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Turtle Takedown Teamwork.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#tulu xuanwu#Something about changing the action sequence to something gentle is hilarious to me.#The lesson here is “Be nice to turtles. They are gentle creatures. And many are very endangered.”#don't get me wrong here; I love this scene a lot. LWJ's string technique is one of my favoyrite things.#We do get a fair amount of LWJ fighting but I always loved how the theme of strings comes into play.#There is actually a lot to unpack with LWJ being associate with 'strings'.#The musicianship: Of dedication and rigor in one's practice.#The tension between following along a path or composing your own way forwards (playing what has been written vs composing)#A string is a tightly coiled/taunt entity; The same tension that makes it sing so beautifully can be it's downfall if pushed too hard.#And as a non-musical string - something that binds. Be it to his sect and family or how he binds his fate to WWX -#LWJ cannot exist without his binds. It is not something which ties him down though. It keeps him together.#And he himself *is* a bind. He 'ties wwx down' in ways that are initially negatively viewed ('come to gusu' - feels like: come be trapped)#But later it is shown how (despite being introduced as a free spirit) WWX truly wants to be bound to something and someone.#Marriage is a bind he wants. He wants to be tied and grounded by LWJ.#It's starting to sound like innuendo. Let's call his fondness for being literally tied up smart thematic writing.#Finally. Sex scenes that are important to the plot and characters
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anna-scribbles · 8 months
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13 y/o adrien agreste looked at his dumpster fire life and said “middle school would fix me” and he was right
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radiance1 · 2 months
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Teddy bear Danny except he ain't a pure little baby bean.
He a fighter.
His age don't matter (to him atleast but it does to literally everybody else) he'll beat you up with his little toy bear paws and kick you to the curb with his little feet. He bite you with his (surpisingly) sharp yet small fangs anf he'll shout his victory to the highest heavens in his signature warcry.
He thinks its scary, everyone else just finds it cute.
Pariah Dark? Yea... he's basically a dictator long before it was invented, but he draws the line at fighting a newborn ghostling.
He'll sponsor him instead. You know, as one does after encountering a battle driven newborn (honestly he's old enough for most to be kids to him) that honestly reminds him of himself in his youth.
Then he ends up in the DC from, probably, chasing after someone and just continues his warpath. First person he sees?
Shazam.
That's right, not Batman or Superman or Wonder Woman. Shazam aka Billy Batson. Who, really well and truly, wasn't expecting and isn't equipped to suddenly be taking care of a feral, battle driven, sapient teddy bear out of nowhere.
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Ruhn and Lidia are so funny because you can tell Lidia cares deeply, and is regretful about how things have gone down, and is hurt by it, but she just gets on with things. Pushes it to the side, because there are other things to worry about, and carry's on. Meanwhile Ruhn, staying true to his teenage emo roots through and through is so angsty over it all! He loves her, he hates her, he wants to kill her, he wants to save her, he's thinking things like "How could he hate someone whose life mattered more to him than his own?". Like Lidia is just getting on with her day, doing what needs to be done, running her errands and what not. And Ruhn is in his bedroom, lying face down on his bed listening to My Chemical Romance and moping
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horse-head-farms · 4 months
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hypno’s username has pregananant syndrome in this fandom
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this isn’t hate, i just find this funny! you’d think it was spelt like the actual word “hypnotized” but nope! no e. it’s “hypnotizd”
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xoxoladyaz · 10 months
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You're My Heaven, Angel (Paramedic Steve x Rockstar Eddie) - Part 2
Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 (Coming Soon)
AN: I just wanted to say a quick THANK YOU to everyone who has been so kind and so supportive of Part 1! I hear you and I, too, want to create a whole series based around this idea. It's a lot of pressure following-up something that's so beloved, but I'm going to give it my best!
Robin must secretly hate Steve.
She must be the most incredible actress in the entire world. She must be the most prolific conman that’s in the business of conman-ing people or whatever. She must have made a blood oath with an elder god during a full moon that no matter how many days or weeks or months or years it took, she would one day make Steve Harrington’s life absolutely miserable. There’s no other reasonable explanation for why she insists on taking the scenic route to Eddie’s room - a scenic route which adds on two additional minutes of travel time instead of heading straight down the hallway (which maybe adds forty seconds tops). 
A route which means Steve has to bear two additional minutes of Eddie loudly introducing him to every single doctor, nurse, patient or family member that they come across on the way to his suite. Never mind that Steve’s worked with most of these doctors and nurses for years now, never mind that he actually goes to Sharla’s poker group when he has Thursdays off with the other fifty-something moms on staff (which Robin never ceases to find absolutely hilarious); no, Eddie is all smiles and arm flourishes, loudly – too loudly – proclaiming that they are now in the presence of his angel, his baby, his angel baby, the love of his life, the apple of his eye, his amor, his partner, his husband – 
“Congratulations, Steve! I didn’t know you got married!” Sue laughs as the entire production passes by. 
“Yeah, yeah,” Steve rolls his eyes. Eddie blows her a noisy kiss before clearing his throat. He takes a deep breath, and – 
“I’M GETTING MARRIED IN THE MORNING - ”
“Robin, he’s singing again!”
“I know, dingus, I can hear him.”
“DING DONG, THE BELLS ARE GONNA CHIIIIIMMMEEEEEEEE - ”
Steve turns back, risking a glare at Robin mid-step. “Remind me why we’re going the long way around?”
Robin snorts out a laugh, shit-eating grin firmly in place. “Come on, Stevie, we all need the exercise.”
“ – GET ME TO THE CHURCH ON TIMMMMMEEEE – Stevie? Stevie,” Eddie turns and sighs at Steve and okay, Steve can’t tell if Eddie’s eyes are super dilated because of the probable head trauma or if there’s a weird reflection from the fluorescents, but his eyes are, like, legit sparkling up at him. “Steeeeeevieeeee - ”
“Yep, I’m still here.” Eddie grins, flopping to the side so that their joined hands are resting up against his head. He sighs happily, his feet wiggling under the shock blanket, and it’s not cute Steve stop thinking it’s cute – 
“Steve!” He pulls his eyes away just as the gurney comes to a stop in front of Brenda, one of the intake nurses currently on shift. Brenda’s blonde and cute and ethically non-monogamous, but Steve is more of a one and done sort of guy. That doesn’t mean they don’t flirt like crazy anytime they bump into each other, though. (Hey, he’s gotta stay in shape somehow.)
“Looking good today. Is that a new shirt?” She asks with a smirk, her eyes running over his biceps. (It’s not a new shirt, Robin just ran it through the dryer, so it shrunk. Really, he should have gotten rid of it, but it makes his biceps look amazing.)
“Nah, it’s - ”
He has a line. He has a great line. But as soon as he opens his mouth to speak it, he’s cut off by a very loud hissing sound coming from his left and – 
Yep, it’s Eddie. Eddie, who’s glaring at Brenda like they’re mortal enemies. Seriously, it’s a good thing he doesn’t have laser eyes like that one superhero guy because if he did, Brenda would be at risk of getting too tan.
“MINE!” Eddie snaps at the end of his hiss and then, all while still maintaining eye contact with Brenda, he yanks Steve’s hand to his mouth and licks it. And not, like, a gentle lick that you’d get from a puppy. No, Eddie licks his hand like he’s trying to give Steve a tongue bath.
(His first instinct should be to pull away, but instead all Steve can think about it Eddie giving him an actual full body tongue bath - )
“Dude!” Steve exclaims when he does finally pull his hand away. (He hears Robin snort under her breath, clearly having caught onto the fact that his brain broke at the whole licking thing and shit, now he’s thinking about it again - )
“No, MINE!” Eddie growls, and Steve barely has a chance to wipe his hand on his pants before Eddie is grabbing it back, clutching it between both of his hands like it’s his special or something. (Special, was that the word that the guy used? The little creepy guy in that one movie? He needs to text Dustin and ask.)
“Aww, I’m glad to see you’ve finally met someone!” Brenda teases.
“Uh, yeah,” Steve replies distractedly, trying (and failing) to shake one of Eddie’s hands off of his hand because now that they’re actually at his suite, he’s going to need them. “Brenda, this is - ”
“The concussion patient from Lollapalooza, Sarah clued me in,” Brenda says, snapping her gum. “Eddie, right?”
Eddie pauses from wrestling with Steve to sniff at Brenda and honestly, as someone who spent way too much time at country clubs as a child because of his parents, Eddie has the whole I’m-better-than-you-you-poor-person-wearing-Adidas expression locked down. “That’s Mister Eddie to you, Briony.”
Briony? “Who’s Briony?”
Robin kicks the gurney forward with an eye roll and suddenly they’re moving into the suite. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about it, dingus.”
Eddie finally manages to tear his eyes away from Brenda. He perks his head up at Steve and once Steve’s face is in his line of sight his expression softens, the sparkles coming back in full force. “And it’s such a pretty head, baby.”
Such a pretty head SUCH A PRETTY HEAD – 
“I’ll show you – ow, Robin, seriously?” Steve yelps at Robin’s pinch.
“Stop being horny and help me get him on the bed.”
“I’m - ”
“Don’t listen to her baby, please, please stay horny, and lose the shirt while you’re at it!” Eddie sits up and starts frantically grasping at Steve’s sleeves. “Christ almighty, these arms, arms of heaven, arms of an angel - ” 
“Steve!” Robin barks and shit, he needs to focus. He takes advantage of the fact that Eddie let go of his hand to grab at his shirt and darts down to the other end of the gurney. They lift on a count of three, placing Eddie onto the bed and kicking the wheeled cart out of the way. (Eddie makes a loud WHEEEEEEEEE sound and then immediately goes back to demanding that Steve get naked.) Sarah, who’s followed the procession the entire time, grabs the empty cart and wheels it out of the room just as Brenda steps in.
“Well then, Eddie, let’s get started on intake,” Brenda nods, bringing out her iPad. “Are you ready to answer a few questions?”
“No.”
Robin groans and steps to the side, energetically fluffing and reorganizing Eddie’s pillows so he’s seated up. Somehow Eddie is able to lean around Robin’s wide-armed movements and fix Brenda with yet another piercing glare.
Brenda shoots Steve a look before nodding her head at Eddie.
Right.
“Hey, uh, Eddie, we really need to ask you a few questions - ”
“Hand!” Eddie snaps to look at Steve and sticks his hand towards him. He wiggles his fingers a few times before making a grabby motion. “Hand!”
It’s not cute. It’s totally not cute.
Steve sighs but walks back around from the foot of the bed and places his hand gently in Eddie’s. Eddie links their fingers and squeezes tightly. “Uh, how about now, is now okay to ask a few questions?”
Huffing, Eddie looks at their fingers for a few moments before looking upwards at Steve. Their eyes meet and he grins. “Hi angel,” he lets out a pleased sigh. “I missed you.”
Don’t say it don’t say it DON’T SAY IT - 
“I missed you too, Eds.” 
FUCK.
“Awwwww, my little schmoopers are being all schmoopy-moopy!” Robin sings in her best baby voice. (That’s it, he’s eating the rest of the Chunky Monkey.)
“I’m eating the rest of the Chunky Monkey.”
“Uh, like fuck you are.”
“I'd rather have you eat me,” he hears Eddie whisper and yeah, okay, that’s one he’s just going to choose to ignore for the sake of what little sanity he has left.
“Right, okay,” he hears Brenda try to get things back on track. “About those intake questions - ”
“Oh, don’t worry Nurse Brenda,” the lilting voice of Dr. Suzie Henderson floats into the room. “I can take it from here.”
Steve turns just in time to see Suzie strut into the emergency suite. She shoots Brenda a grateful nod and Brenda, with one last wink to Steve, hands her iPad off to Suzie and heads out of the room. 
“Bye Steve!”
“Bye Brenda.”
“Yeah, bye Brittany!”
Suzie has the best laugh in the world, and she lets it fly on her walk over. “Hey Steve,” Suzie grins at him as she makes her way towards the foot of Eddie’s bed. “How are things going today?”
“Oh, good,” Steve replies quickly before turning to look at Eddie. “Eddie, this is Doctor Suzie Henderson, she’s my sister-in-law.”
Eddie slowly scooches his butt backwards so he’s sitting up more. “No, she’s our sister-in-law,” he huffs before turning and smiling at Suzie. “Hey sis!” 
“And you must be Eddie! I heard you were thinking about marrying into the family.” She lets out a quick giggle at those words but then clears her throat and throws her shoulders back. “Well, if you are serious about joining our Steve in holy – or unholy – matrimony - ”
“Fuck yeah,” he hears Eddie whisper.
“ – then I’m going to need you to answer a few questions.”
“Proceed, milady.” Eddie starts gently caressing Steve’s hand with his fingers. Steve shoots a look at Robin, who makes exaggeratedly sappy faces while glancing between Steve and their intertwined fingers.
(Forget the Chunky Monkey, he’s eating all of the ice cream they have left tonight.)
“Full name?”
“Edward Anthony Munson.”
“Age?”
“Thirty-one.”
“Name of your emergency contact?”
“Oh, that would be Uncle Wayne and Chrissy! Baby, you’re going to love Wayne,” Eddie says, turning to gaze lovingly up at Steve. “And he’s going to love you! Not as much as I love you though, that’s impossible.”
(Steve’s pretty sure that Bambi eyes here is the impossible one.)
“Great, is Wayne and Chrissy’s contact information in your medical file?”
“Uh huh,” Eddie replies dreamily, still gazing at Steve. 
“Okay, speaking of your file,” Suzie taps at her iPad, “any major events in your medical history that we should know about?”
“Hmmm?” 
He can feel it on his face, he can feel his stupid grin on his stupid face, but he chooses to instead focus on helping Eddie pay attention. “She wants to know if there’s major health events in your past that we need to know about, Bambi.”
“Bambi?”
“BAMBI?!” Robin squeaks after Eddie.
Shit shit SHIT -
“I mean - ”
“Bambi,” Eddie hums, blinking rapidly as he slumps back against his pillows. Once he's settled, he tosses his free hand across his forehead and moans happily. “He loves me. He loves me, he loves me, HE LOVES MEEEEEE - ”
Don’t blush DO NOT BLUSH BODY STOP BLUSHING
“Oh my god that was amazing, I have literally never seen you this red, you look like an actual tomato. Oh my god, I have to tell Nance, like, now.”
“Right, yes, okay Bambi,” Suzie interrupts with a snicker, “like Steve said, is there anything we need to know?”
“Well, we’re in love,” Eddie sighs, pressing a quick kiss to the top of Stevie’s hand. “I think I’m still a little high but it’s only weed, I’ve definitely stopped doing cocaine since, like, five months ago. No need to worry about that, angel,” Eddie pats the top of Steve’s hand.
“Yeah, no, I definitely won’t worry about that.” (He’s definitely going to worry about that.)
“Well, thank you for your honesty, Eddie. I’m going to take a closer look at your files once we get them just to get a better picture of your overall health before we run our tests. Now, second set of questions,” Suzie loudly taps and drags a new window on her tablet open. “What is your annual income?”
(Huh. That’s weird. Steve’s doesn't think he's ever heard any of the nurses ask that question before.)
Eddie snorts out a laugh. “God, I make so much money. A fucking stupid amount of money.”
“You have something in way of a retirement plan then?”
“Doc, I could retire for, like, the next five hundred million years.”
Susie hums as she makes a note. “Do you have anything against sharing resources with your romantic partner?”
(Okay, Steve definitely hasn't heard anyone else ask these questions before.)
“Nah!” Eddie scoffs before gently tugging on Steve’s hand to get his attention. “You’ll be the hottest trophy wife, babe. Do you have an apron? I’m going to buy you an apron.”
“And what are your feelings on children?”
“Kids? I love kids. Is he good with kids? I bet he’s good with kids,” Eddie rushes out. “Fuck, you’re going to look so hot pregnant, baby.”
Robin makes a loud barfing noise which Suzie naturally ignores. “What exactly are you looking for in a relationship?”
“Suzie - ”
“Him! My angel,” Eddie slumps to the side so he’s leaning up against Steve’s hip. “I want to wrap him up in a warm towel and keep him forever and make sweet, sweet love to him under the - ”
“OKAY, next question please,” Robin loudly cuts him off.
“So what you’re saying is you’re looking for a committed relationship with Steve,” Suzie ignores Robin's dramatics. “Are you prepared for lifelong monogamy?”
“Absolutely.”
“Suz - ”
“And you’ll work every day to be deserving of Steve?”
“For the rest of my life,” Eddie proclaims and fuck, he actually sounds serious. He actually looks serious too.
Huh.
Suzie quietly observes him for a moment before her face relaxes into a warm smile. “I believe you. Now, dealbreakers. What are your opinions on outdoor weddings? Steve gets scared in churches.”
“What?!” Eddie gasps, snapping back to Steve.
“SUZ – what, no, I’m not afraid of churches - ”
“Uh yeah you are, you said that every time you visit one you get nightmares about being sacrificed on an altar,” Robin chimes in.
“Gee, thanks, Robin.”
“Baby, baby, don’t worry, I’d never let them sacrifice you,” Eddie tries to comfort Steve, but everything that’s happened in the last thirty seconds – hell, the last thirty minutes – is starting to finally sink in and yeah, okay, there’s an obscenely hot and rich and famous rockstar telling Steve that he loves him and sure, he’s partially concussed but the joke isn’t ending, he’s acting like he’s serious and they’ve only exchanged like maybe twenty words total but he’s acting like this is actually happening and what if it actually could – 
“Shoot, we’re going to have to wrap it up here, loverboy,” Robin waylays his runaway thoughts as her beeper goes off. “We’ve got a fainter with a broken nose."
“Okay, okay.” Steve shakes his head and tries to gently extract his hand from Eddie’s grasp but Eddie lurches at the feeling of Steve moving his hands and whines, digging his finger into Steve’s hand.
“Eddie, I’m sorry, but I’ve got to get back to work.”
“But – no, angel, please,” he blubbers before turning his eyes on Steve and –
Oh.
Oh no.
They’re even bigger and shinier when he’s crying.
“I’m sorry, Bambi,” he replies totally deliberately, “but I’ve got to go finish my shift. I’ll come back when I’m done, okay?”
Eddie sniffles, rubbing his eyes with his free hand. “Promise?”
“Promise.”
“Okay,” he whimpers sadly, and – look, this joke isn't really joking anymore so if Eddie's gonna go all the way, he might as well go all the way too.
He leans forward and presses a quick kiss to the top of Eddie’s head. “Be good for Suzie, okay?” As he draws back, he glances back down at Eddie. Eddie is blinking dazedly at Steve, all glassy-eyed and rosy.
“Wow,” Eddie whispers, and while the smile that appears on his face is small, it’s the warmest one Steve has seen yet. “Whatever you say, baby.”
“Right, right.” Steve nods and then pivots, making a hasty retreat out of the room.
“Later, Bambi,” Robin sings behind him, and then she’s quick on Steve’s heels. The hall’s crowded, though, so they aren’t fast enough to escape the start of Suzie and Eddie’s conversation. 
(“So, outdoor wedding? Maybe in spring?”
“Can it be in Hobbiton?”
“Uh, it better be in Hobbiton!”)
“I’m kinda surprised to see you staking your claim already, dingus,” Robin says, thrusting the portable gurney mat into Steve’s arms as they walk. “I was worried I’d have to make you.”
“I shouldn't have done that. I mean, he’s a patient, Robin!”
“Not anymore, he’s not!” Robin gently bumps his hip. “He's not your patient anymore so now we need to start planning your next move. I mean, he’s obviously going to say yes when you ask him out, but it still needs to be smooth.”
“What – I’m Steve Harrington, I’m always smooth.”
Robin is purposely silent.
“Okay, first of all, rude,” he says after giving her plenty of time to politely agree. “Second of all, even if I did decide to make a move, there actually isn’t a guarantee he’d say yes. Even if he wasn't just doing this because he's heavily concussed, I’ve hardly talked to the guy!”
“I know, he has no idea how much of a dork you are, it’s great.”
Steve offers Robin a hand as he climbs into the ambulance. (Not without shooting her a look once they're both seated, of course because again, rude.) 
Robin shrugs Steve's frown off. “Look, dingus, I know you think that you have all these great lines or whatever - ”
“Uh, I don’t think, I do have them - ”
“ – but they’re, like, obviously lines. Whatever you say to him has to be more real. He needs to know that if he says yes, he’s going to be going on a date with a guy that has the ooiest, gooiest, squishiest little itty bitty heart!” She squeezes her hands together like she’s holding Steve’s heart in her hands (which definitely isn’t concerning given the fact that she’s technically a medical professional who knows just how vulnerable that particular organ is.)
“Robs - ”
“ITTY BITTY!” She kisses the tips of her fingers. “And that’s why we gotta plan, doinkus. Edward Anthony Munson needs to be constantly conscious of the fact that he’s dating the best guy on the entire planet because you are, Steve, you are the best guy on Earth and you deserve a Prince Charming even though the Prince Charming archetype is totally outdated and part of a patriarchal initiative to establish systematic gender dynamics - ”
Well, shucks. Maybe Robin doesn’t hate him after all.
“ - doesn't exist, its still what you deserve. But more importantly than that, if Eddie does start dating you, then I have a better shot of getting him to introduce me to Chris Hemsworth.”
“Chris Hemsworth?"
“Uh, yeah.”
"Chris Hemsworth - Chris Hemsworth? Out of every famous person Eddie could hypothetically introduce you to, you'd want to meet Chris Hemsworth?"
"Well, yeah," Robin takes a brief sip of her water before shooting Steve a playful smirk. “I mean, as great as you are, I wouldn't be opposed to upgrading my emotional support himbo.”
Never mind, she’s evil incarnate.
(And she’s going to be out of Chunky Monkey in about five hours.)
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vaguely-concerned · 7 months
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on this reread of gideon the ninth I am picking up on the frankly hilarious background thread that naberius genuinely seems to want to be buddies with colum asht, in his third house mean girl kind of way. and colum seems to count this as a genuinely painful event amidst a life defined by suffering fhdskjsha
(they're seated next to each other at magnus and abigail's party and naberius keeps trying to drag colum back into conversation (by telling him he's wrong of course) while colum mostly suffers in silence and tries to eat his dinner, and before the duel that was supposed to happen between the eight and the seventh naberius invites himself along to the walk there chattering the whole time and it makes colum, and I quote, 'look like he wished he were deaf'. how hard do you have to work at it to be insufferable to a guy who hangs around silas all day long. can colum ever catch a break. can we just see him have a chill time for like two minutes in alecto the ninth. maybe have a drink with a little umbrella in it. I realize I hope for too much but has he not suffered enough? his day job was basically to go to day trips to hell already, of all the people who could end up stuck in there he's deserved it the least let's fish him out before the series ends huh)
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coquelicoq · 1 year
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if you're wondering what the big deal is about the louis-philippe sentence in les misérables, it is, in the original french, 760 words long. the subject of the sentence doesn't appear until 95% of the way through, at word #711; the main verb is word #712. the sentence contains 91 commas and 49 semicolons and is almost entirely a list of laudatory adjectival phrases describing the erstwhile king of france. this is perhaps especially notable because les mis is, shall we say, not known for being particularly gung-ho about the monarchy.
this sentence copied and pasted into Word takes up more than one page single-spaced. in the 1800-page folio classique edition, it is fully two and a half of those 1800 pages. that means that les mis is 0.14% this single sentence. more of les mis is made up of this sentence than earth's atmosphere is made up of carbon dioxide (0.04%). if the page count of les mis stayed the same but every sentence was the length of this one, les mis would consist of only 720 sentences total.
incidentally, guess who named hugo a peer of france 17 years before the publication of les mis?
#he also goes on for another six pages after this but by then he has remembered the existence of the full stop#the endnotes say that hugo 'se devait de faire [ce portrait] aussi favorable que possible à la personnalité de l'homme#qui avait favorisé sa carrière' (had to make this portrait as favorable as possible to the character of the man who had favored his career)#in fairness to hugo it's not like louis-philippe was alive to read this. so he wasn't just sucking up to get something out of it#he says at the end of the chapter that this description is 'entirely disinterested'. which like on the one hand i get#bc like i said louis-philippe was not in power and reading this. but otoh victor 'ancien pair de france' hugo u r not exactly unbiased. lol#les mis#lm 4.1.3#i just looked up the english translation and gasp! hapgood turned it into four separate sentences!!!!#so i think y'all who are reading it via les mis letters (which uses hapgood i think?) are gonna miss out on the full experience :/#my posts#linked to#syntax#idk if i got this across but the worst part is that the subject of the sentence - the beginning of the independent clause -#doesn't occur until the very end. so for the first 95% of the sentence you're just waiting for the bass to drop!!!#like reading it out loud you have to raise your pitch at the end of every dependent clause because you haven't gotten to the subject yet#AND THERE ARE SO MANY CLAUSES!! 49 SEMICOLONS PEOPLE!!! FORTY-NINE!!!!#victor hugo would be TERRIBLE as a hype man. he would take so long that the crowd would tear him to pieces with their fingernails#before louis-philippe could come out on stage. and then they'd be so mad at louis-philippe for inspiring him that they'd tear LP apart too#actually i think i'm using hype man wrong. i'm thinking of the guy that gets the crowd hyped up for the main guy before the main guy#makes an appearance. a hype man is the guy who makes interjections during a song. victor hugo would be bad at both of these#like just imagine the announcer at the beginning of a basketball game. and now...your starting lineup...at power forward...#and then he just says the 760-word louis-philippe sentence.#dead. murdered at the hands of the fans. microphone shoved down his trachea.
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