#which was not Stede’s intention of course but it is What Happened - from Ed’s perspective anyway | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

starbuck · 2 years

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I’ve seen some OFMD Takes that equate Stede and Ed’s softness and boil it down to an anti-toxic masculinity thing and an uncomplicated moral good, but I feel like doing that misses a lot of nuance by ignoring the role that class plays in their stories.

Stede does face negative repercussions for being ‘soft,’ for failing to measure up to the ideal of masculinity enforced by civilization, but only social consequences. And that’s not to say those consequences don’t matter; it’s terrible that his father was emotionally abusive, that he was bullied by his peers, that he felt alienated from his family. However, nobody was going to repossess his house because he wasn’t performing masculinity up to their standards. He was never going to have to worry about where his next meal would come from because of it.

Further, Stede has the privilege to walk away whenever he feels like it. He can “upend his entire comfortable life to become a pirate” and then “un-abandon [it] on a whim” and STILL face no economic consequences for any of it.

Ed, meanwhile, cannot just walk away from being Blackbeard because his legend is his only source of income. He can’t simply choose to stop being a pirate and be soft instead because, for him, the consequence of failing to perform the ideal of masculinity is death. In a fair and equal world, Ed would be able to wear all the silk robes and throw all the talent shows he wanted to, but that is not the world he lives in.

Piracy was supposed to be his escape from poverty, but all it’s managed to do is allow him to stave it off, and become a prison unto itself in the process. Ed is trapped, not by toxic masculinity, but by economic desperation. No matter how hard he tries, he’s still not one of “those kind of people” and he never will be. That’s the symbolism of him throwing the red silk away at the end of ep 10: the acceptance that “you wear fine things well” was only ever a dream for him and that dream is now dead.

#our flag means death #ofmd #which is why i DO think there’s an argument to be made that Stede ‘ruined’ Ed - just not in the way he thinks #but by giving him a taste of what a truly comfortable life is like and then ripping that away from him #leaving Ed not just dissatisfied with his life as Blackbeard but fucking MISERABLE in it #which was not Stede’s intention of course but it is What Happened - from Ed’s perspective anyway #and that element cannot be separated from his heartbreak over Stede’s leaving him - they’re one in the same #which is not me saying that Ed only loved Stede because of his money - that would be ridiculous #but at the same time - pretty much everything that originally fascinated Ed about Stede is related to Stede’s privilege #INCLUDING his softness!#which isn’t to say that softness is bad - only that moralizing it misses the point #misses it in the exact same way that Ed does in declaring himself a monster for the things desperation drove him to do #it’s just not that simple #in a show where the very first episode reminds you that no one except Stede is a pirate because they want to be - it’s not that simple #and - with that in mind - i would not be at all surprised if Ed’s first reaction to hearing that Stede gave up his fortune to return to #piracy isn’t ‘gosh how romantic’ but ‘ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE???? DO YOU THINK THAT *I* WOULD STILL BE A PIRATE IF I HAD ANY OTHER CHOICE??’#and that is a valid reaction

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bookshelfdreams · 22 days

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There were two great posts about Izzy yesterday, and I would like to expand on and add my 2 ct to the things said in them a little. One, by @celluloidbroomcloset (with additions by several others), about how Izzy immediately falls back into old patterns of manipulative behaviour after his supposed redemption in 02x07, only this time with Stede as the focus of said behaviours instead of Ed. The other, by @batsarebetterthanpeople, about how Izzy's behaviour in 02x06 and onward is more akin to the development a homophobe coming around to a queer loved one, than an arc of queer self-discovery.

Izzy's story isn't about himself. I think this is the first, fundamental mistake people make when engaging with it. He's not a protagonist; he doesn't exist in the story for his own sake. So when ofmd asks "How to reform a toxic person? What does it look like and is it even possible?", the starting point isn't one of empathy with Izzy.

It's one of empathy with Ed. ofmd is asking these questions not because it wants to understand Izzy better. What it wants to explore is the possibility of Ed having the relationship with Izzy Ed wants. Whether Izzy can be brought around to understanding Ed's wants and needs, whether he can understand the hurt he caused him.

This is a fundamentally different approach to how these stories are usually told. Usually, we start out with the unspoken assumption that the toxic person is well-intentioned, good at heart, and whatever pain they caused our protagonist is more akin to a misunderstanding than deliberate harm. Yes, they may have have caused hurt, but if you just see things from their perspective, you'll understand that they only had your best interest in mind, and that will enable you to forgive them.

Obviously this can't not veer off into victim blaming. "The abuser had a good reason for what they did, and therefore, it's your own fault. Or at the very least not theirs."

ofmd fundamentally rejects this. It is very careful to never let the bullies and abusers have a valid point. Abusers are abusive because they get something out of it. To truly reform an abuser, they would have to be willing to build a life for themselves that is a lot less comfortable. Where they have to consider other's feelings, communicate and compromise, meet other people on equal footing, instead of putting themselves in a position of authority. It means letting go of patterns of behaviour that they have so far been quite successful with*.

And Izzy - tries. He is interesting because part of him clearly wants to leave the toxicity behind. He gets to see what positive relationships, human connection, being part of a community look like; he's offered an outstretched hand, and, after biting it a few times, tentatively starts to take it.

But he can't quite get there. The temptation to fall back into what he knows is too strong. celluloidbroomcloset's post linked above talks mainly about 02x07, so I'm not gonna repeat all that, but I'm going to add two little scenes from 02x06 that further cement this. In the beginning of the episode, Izzy finds Ed as he's standing on deck, watching the sea, and the conversation that plays out is a clear mirror to, almost repeat of the Frankfurter clouds scene from 01x04. Ed tries to share an observation with Izzy in an attempt to reach out to him ("Something's wrong. Feels like a storm's coming but I can't see it."), which Izzy, of course, immediately dismisses ("Or maybe you're just a mopey twat and there is no fucking storm").

The second scene is, when Izzy is the only one discouraging Ed from following Stede to his cabin after he kills Ned Lowe. Discouraging support, discouraging connection and emotional honesty; Izzy will continue to try to isolate Stede.

Now, I do not think this, or the things happening in 02x07, are put in there deliberately to show that Izzy has ulterior motives. Rather, they are an illustration of how deep these maladaptive patterns of behaviour go. Izzy isn't able to fully admit to himself the extend of the harm he caused and this is what prevents him from truly changing his behaviour - even when he has just experienced the benefits of a loving, supportive community!

All of this is the explanation to the answer the show gives to our starting question: Is it possible for Ed to have the relationship with Izzy that Ed wants? And the answer is: No. Just because growth is possible, doesn't mean it is enough. Doesn't mean anyone's entitled to forgiveness. Sometimes, the only compassionate thing to do, is to take yourself permanently out of the other person's life.

But Izzy did learn, and he did grow. It's just that the purpose of said growth wasn't to heal him; it was to enable him to understand the hurt he caused to Ed. That doesn't have to mean people like Izzy can never be reformed, it just means that this isn't a story about the reformation of a toxic person. It's the story of leaving this toxicity behind.

And this is why Izzy's heartfelt apology followed by his immediate death is a positive ending. It represents the conviction that no relationship is so broken it can't be mended, but also the assurance that no relationship is so important it can't be ended.

Ed gets to hear the things he needs to hear most - I am sorry, I was wrong, you didn't deserve this - and then Izzy disappears from his life, and with him, all the toxicity he represents.

They can part on good terms, but part they must. So Ed can go into the rest of his life, unburdened.

*read Lundy Bancroft's "Why does he do that", seriously. The whole thing is on archive.org.

#overall izzy is treated with so much more grace and kindness than the other toxic assholes on this show #because sometimes youre fond of them. right. you DO want to make it work its just not always possible #honestly i think some people just have a very hard time wrapping their head around the fact that izzy is just a narrative device #anyway!#our flag means death #izzy hands #edward teach #thoughts

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rachelillustrates · 2 years

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So I'm rewatching "The Best Revenge is Dressing Well" (surprise! Said no one) and one thing I've noticed that first struck me kinda weird, but I wanna talk through, is the slight level of competition/personal jealousy between our co-captains before the party goes to shit and they come together at the end.

(Image from The Verge.)

We go into the episode from Ed's perspective, mostly - this is the first time we get any solid, personally emotional backstory on him, focused specifically around racism and class difference (done SO WELL, as has already been mentioned) so we know he's already hyperfocused on "winning" this situation, getting the approval of who he was taught by his mother to be his "betters," even though he knows - logically, as an adult, as we saw in what he said to the captain they took down - that that's not necessarily true, it just still feels like it is, to him. So, he's very invested in impressing them, already.

Stede - who doesn't even want to be there - should, theoretically, not care so much about that approval himself - but as we see, he starts acting a little jealous when Ed takes attention away from him, which makes the partygoers a) ignore him or b) antagonize him outright whenever he tries to get a word in. From there, he scoffs - at first - at Ed's continued attempts to impress them (the piano playing, the minor shenanigans) and then removes himself from the situation entirely - looking for Frenchie and Olu, and then taking refuge in the quiet on deck.

I think its important to note that in the opening of the episode, as he and his crew are supposed to be learning from Ed's crew in the raid, he's not exactly on the most confident of footing - he identifies several bad habits, as he points out, one of which we see Ed correct (the swap-looting) as well as needing Ed's help with interrogation tactics (as much as Ed's behavior there interested him in.... other ways). So to him, being among the gentry again, I think he expects to be at least on equal or equalish footing with them, and to hopefully impress Ed in the process since these are "his people."

But the point is - they're not. They abandon him for Ed the moment Ed proves more interesting, insulting him, even - which Ed plays into, out of his own desire to be approved of - which is probably very triggering for Stede, because of his history of being bullied. AND because of wanting to be accepted, himself, and once again failing to reach that. And what's more comfortable than feeling powerless in the face of all that, as always? A little jealousy, especially since - with their approval on (what seems, at first to be) his own terms - Ed doesn't "need" Stede's guidance here after all. That, of course, enmeshed with genuine concern that these people will drop Ed, like they dropped him, which we do see him express - only to be ignored, again. So not only is he not popular with them, but his expertise of what happens with these types of people after they tire of you is discarded, as well. Leaving Stede in a very powerless situation, once again.

I think its also interesting to note, that considering that Stede's trying to win in Ed's world (piracy) and Ed's trying to win in Stede's (aristocracy) - especially with the excuse of the "plan" to take Stede's place - the idea of competition is already subconsciously there, in a sense. On top of the fact that in friendships of the same (perceived) gender, competition can often be encouraged by society at large, too - which pops up a LOT in the kind of "buddy comedy" stories that more mainstream folks seem to have assumed this story was, at first.

So I think the writers were trying to address all that and nip it in the bud.

Because, of course, that all goes to hell - Ed makes a mistake with the spoons, and they turn on him too, which sends him right back to Stede. At first, with intentions to take care of the situation himself, violently. But here Stede steps up for real - facing the situation for what it is, jealousy and fears of inadequacy be damned - and showing up for the person he was supposed to be there for in the first place. That, as always, is where his true power is found - being true to himself, AND to the people in his care. Even telling Ed to stand down, and let him handle it. Ed may not be capable of meeting them where they're at, when it turns verbally-cruel (except to turn deserved physical violence on them), but Stede can. And does, with the use of Frenchie and Abshir's knowledge - hysterically, taking them all down - getting them to take themselves down - in a manner that ends in violence after all (which they, again, technically visit upon themselves - just like the demise of both Badmintons).

And that - having to step up and be there for Ed and let go of the idea of giving any fucks about what these folk expect of him, approve of, etc. - gets them back on track (and is kind of great foreshadowing for what happens in the last episode, and what will come next, I hope I hope). There is no note of individual jealousy or competition, really, at all between them from then on - even the banter during the swordfighting lessons is charged with just flirting and affection, no any real sense of trying to win one over the other, and the jealousy over Calico Jack's appearance later is about that relationship, not about Ed being better than Stede or vice versa. Any trace of that is done with - they've moved past it.

Leaving wide, open space for Stede to catch Ed at his softest, most vulnerable so far, looking at the red silk again after the party's rejection. And to offer him praise - calling him sophisticated after all, and meaning it, because what he's seen of Ed so far - already - is truer than any of the bullshit pandering and passive aggression the upper crust displayed to either of them.

Sophisticated means: "having, revealing, or proceeding from a great deal of worldly experience and knowledge of fashion and culture."

So what Ed's shown him, both in his own experience as a pirate and his own willingness to learn about new things and deal with people who - Stede knows - are less than both of them after all, THAT fits the word much better than any idea of high society.

🍊💕

#meta #inspiration #ofmd #stede bonnet #blackbonnet #stedward #otp #true love #trope subversion #storytelling

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eliza1911o1 · 2 years

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When I really think about it in s2 Stede might have to die (not actually, but close to it; almost die) for Ed to finally forgive him

As much as I think Ed would get to a point where he would be happy to accept Stede back and try to forget about the past, good intentions don’t necessarily help you move on. It’s always going to be in the back of his mind that Stede left once, he can do it again, ultimately creating a sort of subconscious distrust. If Stede does something wrong again, it’s another mistake, not just a passing error; Ed clearly is never going to forget what Stede has done and will always find it hard to fully understand why he did it. It isn’t really about getting even, but Stede does have something to prove

The crew is another part of this as well. They are more than likely going to be incredibly angry at Blackbeard for a) marooning most of them b) throwing Lucius overboard in an attempt to kill him and c) holding Frenchie and Jim hostage while going off on some cruel course for vengeance (and d) listening to Izzy)). Like murderous levels of angry. But I think they might even be just as angry at Stede when they find out that not only did he indirectly cause this, but he broke Ed’s heart for a reason that is debatably decent. Part of the reason Ed’s betrayal hurts so much is because he was part of their family as well, not just Stede. If Ed hadn’t thrown Lucius overboard I think he would probably be on Ed’s side too considering ep 9 and how he was beginning to help Ed move on from Stede even though we would consider him a closer friend to Stede than Ed

Which is why I think Stede would have to do something so drastic that it writes over the past, instilling a newfound trust between the two. As piracy is pretty dramatic and Blackbeard is even more drastic, I’m pretty sure the only way Stede would be able to prove to Ed that there is both no chance of the past repeating and that he deeply regrets his actions is if Stede gives up everything and suffers, just like Ed did. Being willing to give up his own life for Ed’s sake is obviously the most straightforward example of this and probably the fastest too; this could also come in the form of Ed finding out Stede is “dead” or saving him from a poor situation or maybe even having Ed stab him personally. All I’m saying is that from my perspective unless something big happens between them (specifically, something very distressing towards Stede), there will be too much bad blood between them no matter how hard they’ll try

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