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#while Joel was getting his face bashed in
punkshort · 3 months
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somewhere to run | 2. book club
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Pairing: sheriff!Joel x f!reader
Chapter Summary: An incident at the diner causes you to get shaken up, and Joel is there to help.
Chapter Warnings: language, slow burn, mutual pining, PTSD type symptoms, flirting, jealousy, attempted robbery, reader gets mildly injured
WC: 6K
Series Masterlist
"So you see why it's so important you keep on top of your oil changes, yeah?" Mr. Connor finished saying as you set down his plate of waffles and sausage. You nodded enthusiastically while you filled up his coffee.
"I was never really any good at car stuff," you admitted, but he shook his head.
"If you take care of it, that car'll last you five more years and save you boatloads of money," he told you, wagging his finger. "You come by my shop any time and I'll take a look at that beater you're drivin', won't rip you off, either."
You laughed as you heard the bells above the door ring and Maria greet the next customer.
"I'll hold you to it," you said with a wink before turning to put the coffee back on the burner.
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw the familiar outline of a man settle into Joel's usual seat at the counter, and you felt the butterflies stir up in your stomach. You glanced up to make sure there wasn't any food getting cold in the window before pulling out your notepad and walking over. As you approached, you mentally braced yourself for the onslaught of his cologne, but as you got closer, you couldn't smell it. In fact, all you could smell was soap and maybe a faint hint of oil from his gun.
When you paused in front of him, the realization dawning on you, he glanced up from the menu with a smirk. A slow smile spread across your face when you looked him in the eye.
"Better?" was all he said, and you couldn't stop the giggle from escaping your lips.
"You didn't have to do that for me," you said, suddenly feeling bashful and looking down at your blank notepad.
"I know, but I wanted to," he said, leaning back and closing the menu. He didn't even know why he looked at it anymore, he knew it by heart already. "Thought maybe it'd make you stick around long enough for me to get to know you better."
You definitely felt your cheeks flare at that comment, and it must have been visible because Joel just grinned, clearly very pleased with himself.
"Where are you from?" he asked, determined to try to make some more progress with you today.
"Pennsylvania," you said, finally looking back up at him with a smile as you tapped your pen on the pad.
"Northerner," he said with feigned disgust. "And what brought you all the way to Texas?"
"The incredible job opportunity, isn't it obvious?" you said, and he laughed. A real laugh, one you hadn't heard before, and it did something to you. Uh oh.
"You're funny," Joel said, almost as if he were saying it to himself. You grinned and decided to steer the conversation in a different direction: away from you.
"What about you? Have you lived here your whole life?"
"Born and raised," Joel said with a nod. "Our pop used to be the town sheriff, before he passed 'bout ten years back or so."
"So, you followed in your father's footsteps?" you asked, raising an eyebrow at him.
"Suppose I did," he told you, leaning forward. "But can I tell you a secret?"
You hummed and leaned forward as well, trying to bite back your smirk.
"Kinda wishin' now I was the one who bought this place instead of my brother," he said quietly and so close to your ear that it sent a shiver down your spine.
Still leaning in, you dropped your voice to match his and said "then who would stop those teenagers from drawing phallic images on street signs?"
He laughed again, the same deep, throaty laugh as before, and you felt your stomach clench at the sound.
"You heard that, huh?" he asked, smiling and leaning back. You shrugged.
"Lee isn't as quiet as he thinks," you told him. You wanted to say you had to learn early on to eavesdrop, that listening and anticipating danger became second nature to you, but you caught yourself.
"Howdy, brother," you heard Tommy's voice boom from somewhere behind you. You took the opportunity to sneak away and check on your other customers while they talked, but you made sure to set Joel up with coffee before heading towards the other end of the counter, his eyes trailing after you and staring a moment too long on your bare legs.
"You givin' her the business?" Tommy asked, nodding in your direction, and Joel nearly choked on his coffee. Tommy raised his eyebrows.
"She's, uh... she's a nice girl," Joel finally managed to get out after wiping his mouth with a napkin.
"He's got the hots for her," Betty whispered to Tommy as she ambled by. Joel cleared his throat loudly and gave her a stern look, but she just laughed and kept walking.
"Oh, Joel, I'm beggin' you, don't screw this up for me. She's a real good waitress, I don't wanna lose her - "
"Would you keep it down?" Joel whispered, his eyes darting around to make sure you weren't within earshot. "I ain't gonna screw anythin' up for anyone, don't worry. She's just... nice."
"'Nice'," Tommy repeated, clearly not buying it. He was about to say more, but Joel straightened up in his seat and averted his gaze, trying to wordlessly warn him you were heading over.
"Sorry to interrupt. Are you ready, Joel?" you asked him, your pen and paper in hand. He looked up at you and it was hard to fight the goofy look on his face now that you didn't regard him with such disdain.
"Yeah, sure. Let's put this guy to work, huh?" Joel said, pointing to Tommy, and you giggled. Behind you, Tommy rolled his eyes. Nice.
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Joel told himself he was only allowed to think about you on his walk back to the station after lunch. You had told Betty you weren't interested in dating anybody at the moment, but he could wait. He wondered if he could change your mind, if he could make you come around to the idea of being with him, or at least give him a chance. You definitely seemed much warmer towards him today. He must have been wrong yesterday, you really must be sensitive to smells if all it took was for him to stop using that obnoxious cologne Sarah got him that he felt too guilty to throw away.
"Hey boss, how was lunch?" asked Bobby, the town's deputy and Joel's right hand man.
"Good. Anythin' goin' on here?" Joel asked, shrugging off his blazer and hanging it on the coat rack outside his office.
"Not much. I was 'bout to let Ollie outta the drunk tank. His wife was callin', askin' after him," Bobby said before rising to his feet with a groan. Although the man was ten years younger than Joel, his joints seemed to be ten years older.
Joel glanced at the time on his watch with a nod.
"Yeah, go ahead. Third time this month, though. Next time it happens, I'm keepin' him longer."
"Alrighty," Bobby said over his shoulder as he pulled the keys from his pocket and headed back towards lockup.
Joel sighed and began flipping through the papers littering his desk before giving up and leaning back in his chair to stare out the front window, watching people as they walked past. Before he could stop himself, his mind had already wandered back to thoughts of you, and it took him five whole minutes and Ollie's hungover ramblings to snap him out of it.
Maybe Sarah would want to get pizza for dinner.
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It was nearly seven at night as you made your way back home from work, your feet aching and your head throbbing. At the very least, it was a cool, summer night. The breeze was enjoyable and the sun was still peeking out just enough to keep your skin pleasantly warm. All you could think about was getting home and running a bath to soak your sore muscles. It had been a long time since you held a job, let alone a job that kept you as active as this one.
Patrick didn't like the idea of you working. When he first suggested you quit your job and stay at home, you thought it was sweet. You took it to mean he wanted to provide for you so you could relax and be a homemaker, maybe even a mom one day. But after a few months, you quickly realized he just didn't want you around other people, or more specifically, other men. Without even knowing it, you trapped yourself at home without a lifeline, and it was exactly what he wanted.
Even though you were sore now, you felt good. You were taking care of yourself. Providing for yourself. And you never felt more proud.
You were juggling your keys, trying to find the right one that opened the door to the sidewalk, when you heard a familiar voice exit the pizza place.
"Well, look who it is," you heard Joel say, and you let the keys dangle at your side as you turned around with a smile.
"Evening, Joel," you replied, your eyes quickly drifting down his body. It was the first time you had seen him in casual clothes. Every other time you ran into him, he was in his work uniform, which usually consisted of some type of suit. But tonight, he was wearing dark blue jeans and a beige button up shirt with short sleeves. As he strolled over to you, balancing a pizza box in his hand, your eyes were immediately drawn to the way the muscles in his arms strained against the fabric of the shirt, making your mouth go dry.
"Tommy finally let you leave, huh?" he joked, and you had to remind yourself to laugh, your mind still too fixated on the way he looked in that shirt.
"Dad?" you heard a girl's voice call behind him, and you both turned your attention towards the voice. You remembered your brief interaction at the pharmacy and realized that she must be Sarah. Her eyes flickered from you to Joel, then back to you, clearly waiting for Joel to introduce you, but he seemed frozen in place. So, you stretched out your arm and introduced yourself with a smile, which she reciprocated.
"You look familiar," she said, tilting her head to the side the same way her dad did.
"I think I saw you at the pharmacy a couple days ago," you reminded her, and she snapped her fingers.
"That's what it is," she said, giving you another smile. "Are you working for Uncle Tommy?" she asked, looking at Joel again, who was still standing there, unmoving, watching the two of you interact. She frowned slightly at him, picking up on his strange reaction as well, before giving you her attention again.
"Yeah, at the diner. He hired me earlier this week, brand new," you told her, rocking back and forth on the balls of your feet. Joel's silence was deafening at this point and starting to make you uncomfortable, so you held up your keys and pointed to the door.
"I won't keep you guys. It was great to meet you, Sarah," you said with a wave, but before you could turn towards the door, she stopped you.
"Why don't you join us?" she asked, shooting Joel a mischievous look as if she finally realized the reason for his behavior.
"Oh, no, that's so nice of you, but I'm just gonna jump in the bath and go to bed, it's been a long day," you replied. Joel's body stiffened next to you when you announced your plans.
Finally, he managed to clear his throat and speak.
"We'd love to have you join us, we were just gonna grab a picnic table out back," he said, and you swore his cheeks looked a little pinker than usual.
You were struggling to find another polite way to turn down their offer when he added "c'mon, why don't you lemme serve you for a change?"
Sarah smiled as she watched the two of you. She couldn't wait to tease her dad about it in the car later.
"Alright," you said slowly, lowering your keys once again. Joel's face broke out in a huge grin before leading you and Sarah down the short alley to the small courtyard behind the building, where there were a few picnic tables and string lights draped overhead.
"Are you sure I'm not intruding?" you asked again, and they both vehemently shook their heads.
"No way," Sarah said, licking the sauce off her fingers after she picked up her piece from the box. "It's nice to have another girl around for a change."
"Sarah," Joel said warningly under his breath.
"I just mean it's nice to hear about something else other than work and football," she said to him with a grin, and he rolled his eyes, choosing to sit on your side of the table instead of hers.
"So, you live above the pizza place? That seems pretty cool. Pizza whenever you want," she said, covering her mouth as she spoke. You swallowed your food before responding.
"Yeah, it is pretty convenient. And they actually have good pizza," you said. "I think I'm finally getting used to the smell."
Joel's knee accidentally knock against yours under the table and you had to fight the urge to jump away, the contact startling you.
Sarah asked the same questions everyone in this small town inevitably asked you when you first met: where are you from and why are you here? The first question was easy, the second one always gave you pause. It wasn't until Sarah asked that Joel suddenly realized you never really answered him when he asked the same question earlier that day, so he stopped chewing to pay attention.
"Just looking for a change," you said with a shrug, taking another bite of pizza. Sarah considered your answer for a moment before following up.
"Have you ever been here before?"
"Nope."
"So you just got in your car and ... drove?"
"Kind of," you said with a nervous laugh. Joel frowned slightly.
"That's so cool," Sarah said, a smile stretching across her face. "Dad, doesn't that sound so cool?"
"Yeah," he said with a nod, finally joining the conversation. "Do you got family down south or anythin'?"
"Uh, no," you said, shaking your head. "Just always heard it was nice down here so I thought I would see for myself."
"You think you're here for good, then?" he asked, his voice a little more hopeful than he wanted to come across.
"That's the plan," you said to him with a smile.
"Do you have a boyfriend?" Sarah asked out of the blue, and your eyes darted back to her in surprise.
"No," you replied slowly, heat creeping up your neck and guilt dancing in the back of your head while Joel hid his grin behind his pizza. "Do you?" you deflected, raising your eyebrows at her with a smirk, and she giggled, shaking her head.
"You better not," Joel said, and the two of you laughed.
Over the rest of the hour, you listened to Joel and Sarah crack jokes and argue over what movie they would end up watching later that night and you felt the smile slowly begin to slip from your face as you came to the sobering realization that the type of dynamic they had, one that was so obviously built on love and trust, was something you never truly experienced before. It wasn't just something you saw in the movies or read in books. People in the real world actually got to experience it, and you couldn't help but feel a little jealous. Why not you? What did you ever do to receive the type of life you got?
After parting ways and thanking them over and over for dinner, you finally headed upstairs and collapsed on your small sofa. You untucked your work shirt and unzipped your skirt, but that was as far as you got, exhaustion winning the fight.
You closed your eyes and wished you had the energy to get up and run a bath, but you just couldn't bring yourself to do it yet. Instead, you let your mind wander, imagining a life where you could call out to someone who cared for you in the other room and ask them to run the water. Maybe they would surprise you and light a few candles and mix in some soothing bubble bath. You knew that would never happen. You could never let yourself be honest enough with anybody to allow them into your life, but it didn't stop you from wishing for it, anyway. And right before you drifted off to sleep, you imagined that certain somebody had dark brown eyes and soft curls on the top of his head that you were itching to run your fingers through.
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As hard as you tried to keep to yourself, the town was very small, and eventually you found it was nearly impossible to keep from making connections with people. Whether it was through work at the diner or striking up a conversation with someone at the store, you were quickly becoming interwoven in the lives of the people who graciously accepted you as one of their own.
You were particularly becoming fast friends with the girl who worked the register at the pizzeria below your apartment. Her name was Hailey and she was a couple years younger than you, but you had a lot in common, one of which was a shared taste in the same movies and books, so you were excited when she invited you to join a book club she and a couple other women in town started. As much as you enjoyed talking about books, you found you also very much enjoyed listening to all the town gossip that inevitably came out after everyone had their first glass of wine.
"So, Nikki, did I hear Sam asked you out on a date?" an older woman named Martha asked. Nikki blushed when the group turned to her, some women poking her in the side and others murmuring excitedly under their breath.
"Yeah, but it's not a big deal," Nikki said, flicking her long, dark hair over her shoulder. She looked to be a little older than you were but it was hard to guess her age.
"Not back in town for two weeks and she's already got a date," Hailey said, rolling her eyes next to you playfully. "Some girls got all the luck."
"Oh, stop it," she chided with a smirk, then paused as if she were rethinking her next statement before blurting out "kind of wish someone else woulda asked me out instead."
That got the whole group's attention, even your own, and you barely had any idea who most of these people were. But you supposed any amount of gossip paired with alcohol is good gossip.
"Oh, please, you don't gotta say it, we all know who you've been chasin' after all these years," another woman chimed in with a giggle. Fortunately, you weren't the only person in the dark.
"Who?" Hailey asked, leaning forward eagerly.
"Joel, obviously," the other woman replied, and while the rest of the group groaned, everyone tossing in their two cents and offering up their favorite things about him, you remained frozen in your chair, blood running cold.
"Lord, he came into school last week to pick up Sarah, and the way his ass looked in those jeans..."
"Did I ever tell you about the time I nearly slipped on the ice and he caught me? Had to go to confession the next day..."
"... and I swear, I've considered committing a crime just so he would throw those handcuffs on me..."
"I don't know how that man has been single for so long..."
Part of you wanted to laugh at some of the things the women were saying about Joel, but the other part of you felt hot and angry. You wanted to scream shut up, don't think about him like that, don't even look at him. And through your alcoholic haze, you realized you were jealous. Jealous of all of these women, young and old, barking out comments about the town sheriff you had no business feeling jealous over.
The next day when he came into the diner for lunch, your head was still swirling with all of the comments the women in town made the day before. Distracted, you dropped your pen and pad on the ground as you made your way over to greet him, cursing under your breath.
Joel grinned when you finally approached, looking every bit as frazzled as you felt.
"Tough day?"
"Huh? Oh," you said nervously, tucking your hair behind your ear and shaking your head. "N-no, not really. Well, maybe - shit," you said when you knocked over a box of straws with your fidgeting.
Joel laughed and leaned back in his chair.
"What's got you all worked up?" he asked, and you felt your cheeks flush with embarrassment.
"Nothing," you said, shaking your head again, trying to focus. "What can I get for you?"
"Nuh uh, darlin', not so fast," he said with a tsk, and you sighed. "What's goin' on? You can tell me, y'know. I am a man of the law."
He meant it to be playful, but with your history, it had the opposite effect. You winced and swallowed the lump in your throat, and trying not to make matters worse, you caved.
"I went to a book club last night," you mumbled, and he raised his eyebrows.
"Book club, huh? Sounds like fun," he said, watching you carefully. "Maybe had a little too much fun?"
You finally dragged your gaze up to meet his and saw he was grinning at you, and you managed to force out a small laugh.
"Yeah, you could say that," you said, hoping that would be enough, but he wouldn't let it go.
"Can you get me a coffee? Then when I get back from the restroom, I wanna hear all 'bout your little book club," he said with a wink, then stood from his chair and turned around, heading towards the bathrooms while your gaze landed on his ass. It didn't look too bad in dress pants, either.
You tried to steady your breathing while you flipped over a clean mug and filled it with coffee, your mind racing and wondering what lies you could come up with to prevent telling him the reason you were so distracted.
Lost in thought with your head down, you didn't even notice when another customer took a seat at the counter until the man cleared his throat. You glanced up and apologized before bending down to grab another mug and set it down in front of the stranger.
You were pouring his coffee and telling him about the specials, your eyes glued to the counter, when he slid the barrel of a pistol across the table and into your line of sight. You froze, your hands gripping the coffee pot fiercely as you broke out into a cold sweat. You flicked your eyes back up to him. He didn't appear to be much older than you. He had his unkept hair hidden underneath his black hoodie, and you noticed his eyes looked bloodshot, his skin clammy. You knew that look. You've seen that same look one too many times.
"What do you want?" you whispered, your voice shaking.
"Open the register, gimme all the cash in this bag," he said quietly, tossing a tote bag across the counter at you. You nodded, grabbing the bag while your fingers fumbled with the buttons, desperately trying to remember how to open the drawer without a sale. You could sense he was growing frustrated with how long it was taking, and you felt the tears welling up in your eyes.
"I'm sorry," you sobbed quietly. "I-I'm new, I can't remember-"
"Hurry the fuck up," he growled, and you blinked rapidly, trying to clear your vision, the tears falling down your cheeks.
"Drop the fuckin' gun, Marcus," you heard Joel's voice call out, and a wave of relief coursed through your body. But Marcus got startled, and instead of doing as he was told, reached across the counter and grabbed you by the throat, pulling you against his chest to partially shield his body, the gun pressed against your temple as your fingers clawed at his arms.
You couldn't move. You couldn't breathe. Tears just streamed down your face as you locked eyes with Joel. They no longer carried that playful glint, his lips no longer turned up into a grin. His brow was furrowed deep and his gun drawn, cradled expertly in his large palms as his eyes shifted back to Marcus.
"I'm not lookin' to hurt anyone, sheriff. Just lemme walk outta here," Marcus rumbled behind you, his sour breath invading your nostrils and making your stomach roll.
"Now, you know I can't do that," Joel said, taking a small step forward. "But put down the gun, let her go, and we'll talk."
The grip around your throat tightened and you let out a small, pained squeak. Joel's jaw clenched when he heard the noise, his patience running thin. You hadn't noticed at the time, but the entire diner had gone quiet, some patrons slinking down in their seats, others craning their necks to get a better look.
"Goddamnit, Marcus, don't test me today," Joel growled, his eyes ablaze. "I don't wanna call your mama and tell her I had to spray her only son's brains all over the floor, but I fuckin' will." The tone in Joel's voice sent a shiver down your spine as you stilled, waiting for the stand off to be over.
Finally, after what felt like hours, the grip on your throat loosened and you no longer felt the cold metal pressed against your head. Joel locked eyes with you again as you coughed and shakily fell down to the floor behind the counter, curling yourself into a ball while you heard Joel reading Marcus his rights, the jingle of his handcuffs rang like bells in your ears.
Once Marcus was restrained, you heard Tommy bolt out of the kitchen and rush over to you. He knelt down on the ground, asking if you were okay, if you needed a doctor, concern lacing his voice but when he reached out to touch you, you flung yourself backwards violently, knocking the back of your head against the counter.
"Shit," you muttered, rubbing your head as fresh tears fell down your cheeks.
"Hey, easy now," Tommy said soothingly, glancing over the counter as Joel spoke on the phone with Bobby, ordering him to bring a car to take Marcus back to the station and book him.
"I'm fine," you whimpered, still rubbing your head as you shakily forced yourself to your feet. You watched as Joel marched Marcus to the front of the diner, his knuckles white from how hard he was gripping his shoulder as he directed him through the door. A few patrons clapped weakly as the two disappeared outside, and the diner filled with excited chatter once again.
"You alright, sugar?" Betty asked, suddenly appearing beside you, face etched with worry. You flinched and brought a shaky hand to your sore neck.
"Yeah, I just need to use the restroom," you said, and before anyone could say anything further, you tore off your apron and made a beeline for the women's room.
You locked the door behind you and slid down to the grimy floor, burying your face in your hands as you sobbed, the adrenaline wreaking havoc on your nerves.
It was too much. It was all too much. The look in Marcus's eye was one you saw too many times. A junkie in desperate need for a fix. A drunk who would say or do anything for another drink. The fingers around your neck were no longer there, but you still felt them squeezing every last bit of oxygen from your lungs, every tear from your eye until you could hardly breathe.
The door handle jiggled and you jumped, wiping furiously at your face before shouting out a shaky occupied!
"Hey, it's me," you heard Joel's voice say from the other side of the door. No longer did he have that hardened edge to his tone. The warmth and softness in his drawl had returned.
"I just need a minute," you said quietly after a long silence, and you heard him shift his weight.
"I know, but I - can you let me in?" he asked, and you could hear the concern in his voice. You slid your eyes shut as fresh tears drenched your face once again. You ached for comfort. You wanted it so badly you would do just about anything for it. But every other time, you've been let down. Over and over and over again.
"I just need a minute," you repeated, just a whisper, not even sure he could hear.
"Then I'll be right here til you're ready, alright?" his voice came back, even softer this time. You nodded, even though he couldn't see you. You heard him sit down against the door with a tired sigh, and you let your head tilt so it rested against the door. There was a small bit of comfort to be had when you knew only an inch separated you from him.
"You were real brave," he said after a few minutes of silence. You scoffed and wiped your nose.
"Is that why I'm crying on the floor of a bathroom?"
"Please don't cry," he said, his voice strained. But you didn't say anything in return.
"He wasn't gonna do nothin'. He's got troubles, is all. Bad habits get the best of him, but he's harmless," he said, trying to make you feel better.
"I don't know, these bruises on my neck say differently," you replied, and you heard his breath hitch. Then you heard his shoes scuff on the tile floor.
"Lemme see," he said, his voice firmer now. He was standing, his voice above you, waiting to be let in. You hesitated, the tone of his voice putting you on edge, but you knew you couldn't hide in there forever. With a trembling hand, you reached up and unlocked the door, then scurried backwards so you were pressed up against the opposite wall as he swung the door open and stepped inside. His gaze fell on you and his eyes went soft at seeing your wrecked state before clicking the door shut behind him.
He rushed forward and you flinched. A bad habit of your own. He paused and slowed his movements, crouching down in front of you instead. He lifted a hand to pinch your chin but you turned your face away.
"Will you show me?" he asked gently. You gazed up at him with red rimmed eyes, your knees pulled tight against your chest. Finally, you lifted your chin. Again, he reached a hand out, but you stopped him.
"Please don't touch," you whispered. He looked at you and nodded slowly, dropping his hand again, examining your bruises with only his eyes.
"Maybe you should see a doctor," he said after a few minutes, but you shook your head.
"I'll be fine, it's just sore," you said, and his gaze flicked up from your throat to your eyes. His lips parted the longer he stared at you, and you felt the tremor return to your hands. You couldn't look away, his gaze too magnetic.
"Don't like seein' you cry," he murmured, still gazing deep into your eyes, trying so desperately to read you.
"I cry all the time," you said without even thinking. He blinked and frowned. He was about to say something else when a gentle knock on the door interrupted him.
"You okay in there?" Maria called out. You sighed and stretched out your legs, standing up and waving off Joel's helping hand.
"We don't gotta do it today, but I'll need you to come by and give your statement sometime soon," he said, glancing down at you with a sympathetic look.
"Okay," you replied, your voice cracking a bit. You looked at one another, both of you wanting to say more but neither of you could. So you reached out to open the door, forcing a smile for Maria.
"Sorry," you told her meekly, and she laughed.
"You're sorry? You just had a gun pointed at your head and you're sorry?"
You laughed weakly, then stopped short in pain, your fingers brushing against your throat.
"I just wanted to bring you your purse so you could sneak out the back," she said, lifting your purse up and handing it over to you.
"But my shift-"
"Oh my god, take the day off," Maria said, shaking her head and grinning. "Think you earned it."
"Okay," you agreed, then turned to walk through the kitchen where you could leave out the back so no customers would gawk at you.
"Lemme walk you home," Joel's voice said, startling you. You had just assumed he went back out front.
"Don't you have to, you know... work?" you asked, floundering for the right word.
"He ain't goin' anywhere," Joel said, shoving his hands deep in his pockets as he walked by your side down the sidewalk.
The two of you walked quietly for a few minutes.
"I've never seen you like that before," you said, breaking the silence. He turned his head towards you, raising his eyebrows.
"Like what?"
"Like, all... cop-like," you said, chuckling at your terrible choice in words.
Joel grinned and glanced down at his feet.
"Yeah, well, job's not all inappropriate graffiti and speed traps."
You hummed in agreement as you kept walking.
"Do you have to unholster your service weapon often?"
"'Service weapon'?" he repeated, surprised at the term you chose. Although it wasn't wrong, it typically was not something most people said. You just looked at him, not acknowledging it, so he let it go.
"Uh, no, not really," he said, biting the inside of his cheek.
"Oh," was all you said, taking a deep breath and continued to stare straight ahead. He watched you from the corner of his eye for a moment.
"When I came outta the bathroom and saw - " he stopped short, then rubbed his lower lip with the pad of his thumb as he collected his thoughts. "You were scared. And I... reacted."
You glanced his way again, but he kept his eyes focused straight ahead. What was he trying to say?
"Thank you," you said softly, but he was quick to shake his head.
"Not lookin' for you to thank me," he said, finally allowing his gaze to drift back to you, giving you a small smile.
When you finally reached your apartment, you took out your keys and turned to him, ready to thank him again, even though he told you not to, but he spoke first.
"Here, why don't you take this," he said, holding out a small white card between his index and middle finger. You gingerly took it and flipped it over, reading the text on the other side.
"It's my card. Call me when you wanna stop by the station," he reminded you, and you nodded.
"My cell's on there, too. If you ever, y'know," he said, half a smirk playing on his lips as he nervously shifted his weight. "You ever wanna talk 'bout anythin', really. 'Bout what happened today, or... book club," he said, and you laughed. He grinned, relieved to finally see you smile again.
"Okay," you said with a nod, and turned to put the key in the lock.
He watched as you made your way all the way up the steps, and didn't leave until he saw the second door at the top of the stairs close firmly behind you.
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Taglist: @harriedandharassed@merz-8@sarap-77 @nandan11 @anoverwhelmingdin @fandomscollide @survivingandenduring
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randofantfic · 9 months
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Keeping Warm
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Summary: You and Joel are headed to Jackson by foot, in the middle of Winter with nothing but sleeping bags. Just two friends during desperate times, which calls for desperate measures.
Contains: Sleeping bag smut. Unprotected sex ( p & v). Unspecified age gap. Inexperienced with a touch of innocent reader x Joel. Comforting, soft and safe Joel. Lil bit of size kink. Hot and sweaty, multiple orgasms. Not proof read at all. Just kind of spewed it out.
The bonfire is going strong but it’s not enough to keep you two warm. You’ve been sharing a sleeping back for the past two months for warmth. Tonight was particularly frigid, the kind of cold that makes the hairs inside your nostrils stiff and your eyelashes stick together.
The both of you are facing each other in a side lying embrace, completely covered in the sleeping bag with the exception of a little opening at the head, allowing scant light from the fire.
“Fuck I'm so cold, I can’t feet my toes. Spent the majority of my life fighting cordyceps, raiders and everything in between, but this cold is going to be the death of me”. You nestle into every possible crevice of his body to hide from the cold, but it just isn’t doing it.
He pats your back and you wince from how cold his hand feels. “I’m going to suggest somethin’, and it may be a bit extreme f’you, but trust me, it may save us tonight. Transferring heat works best skin on skin...”. He pauses.
“Sooo... you are saying we should sleep naked?.
“Y-yeah", he shivers. "I read about it in books and stuff. But if you don’t wanna, that’s okay sweetheart. Don’ mean nothin’ weird about it, it’s just for warmth. Can't risk making a bigger fire, 's all we got left I think."
The silence was killing him. He was about to regret saying anything at all when you finally spoke, almost too quiet for him to hear. “Okay”.
Without getting out of the sleeping bag, the two of you shimmied out of your clothing without the cold air getting in, discarding them at your feet
With the little sliver of light from the top, you could only see the faint features of your faces from the bonfire. Joel was hoping you wouldn’t be able to see the savage blush that ravaged his chest, neck and face.
“Listen, I-I am gon’ apologize now if y-you feel anythin’, you know. I don’t wanna make you feel uncomfortable, ‘jus I ain’t been around another woman in years, let alone naked. It’s got a mind of its own”.
You couldn’t help, you burst out laughing, feeling him huff in your face. “What’s so funny?”.
“Oh nothing it’s just, seeing you all bashful and embarrassed is cute. It’s privilege to see Joel Miller outside of his baseline grumpiness”.
“Shut up”.
“Oh you know i’m kidding. Gosh”
“Keep on razzin’ and you’ll be sleepin’ outside. Now go on ‘n get sleepin'."
You chuckle to yourself as you turn over on your side, back facing him and you accidentally bump into his groin with your ass. He hisses and moves back, trying to avoid any stimulation. “Ope,  shit I’m sorry Joel”.
He’s rock hard now and he can’t move his hips back any further because of the lack of room. Silence settles for a while. You still feel cold, but not as much. It’s just enough that you can’t quite go to sleep and it makes you restless.
“Jesus will you quite movin’”, he bites.
“I’m sorry, I’m still cold!" You whine in frustration. "Listen, I know you already warned me, but will you hold me? I am not going to be offended if I feel you, I understand. I just can’t take this shit, I haven’t had a good nights sleep, I am about ready to light myself of fire for fucksakes”.
“Joel?”, your voice breaks through the silence.
He yanks your body against his at your waist and you feel him everywhere, and you feel everything. He moves his rock-hard erection from your ass to the crevice where your cheek meets your leg so it’s not as...intrusive. He can’t shift much more because there is no room. You bite your lip and grin. Gonna hold your tongue and try to ignore it. Fuck he’s big. Time passes but you are so distracted by his heavy breathing in your ear and his still-throbbing erection that you can’t sleep, the dull cold still has its death grip on you.
“Mmm?”.
“Hear me out. Desperate times call for desperate measures a-and you know I was thinking, maybe yo-we, maybe w-we can y-you know. I think with the increase in heart rate and the relief -”, he reaches for your shoulder and pulls you so you are facing his direction, his head hovering almost directly over yours.
“Hold on now, you’re tellin’ me you wan...that we should have sex to keep warm? Jus’ wanna make sure I’m hearin’ you loud and clear sweetheart”.
You palm your face in embarrassment and let out a long sigh.
“Y-yes. Yes! Okay? I mean, not much else we can do to keep warm at this point, and no offence but I don’t think I can sleep if I have your raging hard on against my hip all night. No strings attached, just... survival sex?”.
He runs his hand through his hair, then palms his face.
“You ever even been with anyone before?”
“Yeah, twice. Slept with someone in trade for some food in the QZ”.
"Don't think this is a good idea".
"Yes, Mr. Miller, loud and clear. So how are we gonna start this? You obviously have more experience than me. Woo me with your charismatic charm", you bat your eyelashes at him. He rolls his eyes. "You're a little shit." You can see a grin form in the cascade of light that crosses his face. You didn't expect his next move. He gently places his hand on top of your hip, stroking your hip bone with his thumb. He follows with dipping his face into the crook of your neck, nuzzling the back of your ear and ghosting your neck with soft kisses.
“Y'not experienced, it's risky. No".
"Joel, please. I promise I can take it. Just pull out. I don't even care. I won't go stage 5 clinger on you. Please".
"Alright", he grumbles.
"Gonna lay down some ground rules. For survival ONLY. This won't happen again. This is a means to keep us warm, but I still want you to be comfortable. Need ya to tell me if it hurts, and if it does, I'll stop. We clear?".
Whatever it was you were feeling, you never felt before, not with the man you had been with, or even with yourself. The moment his lips touched yours, his warm tongue entering inside, waves of heat ripped through you, leaving you immediately panting and squirming.
“You good?”, he breaks the kiss and is staring over your face. You can feel his hot breath on your lips as he speaks.
“Y-yea. It’s just, no one has ever done this before. It feels so.... intimate, not that I don’t like it! Feels.... fucking great”.
“Jesus Christ, the fuck did he do then?”.
“Well, h-he spit down there and put it in. It was alright I guess”.
“ Alright, so you don’t know anything then. Listen, when it’s done right, that is the reaction you are supposed to get. Have t’ get ‘em warmed up. What you had done to you was...that’s not how it’s supposed to go, ever.”
“Okay Mr. Miller, show me how it’s done.” He chuckles above you. “Always challengin’ me darlin’.” He rolls over so he is on top of you. He nudges your legs open with his until his cock settles at your lower belly, forearms on either side of your head. He kisses you deeply, firm and wet.
He’s kissing down your neck now, gently nibbling and licking his way to your collar bone. “Mm, you know I like a good challenge. Think you could last longer than two minutes old boy- mph fuck”. You buck into the underside of his cock and paw at his broad shoulders as he latches onto your nipple and circles it with the tip of his tongue, releasing it with a pop.  
“Two minutes? Baby I’ll have you screaming for me to stop, don’t push me”.
He gives attention to your other breast while he brings his middle and ring finger to your core, drawing lazy circles around your clit. You are on fire from the inside out. The heat in your core threatening to burst at the seams. You grasp at his damp curls, pushing his mouth to take more of your breast. Your hips buck borderline violently against his thick fingers until you are panting his name from your first high.
You can feel a puddle of precum pooling at the base of your lower tummy. You gather it with your hand and start to massage his cock with it. He lets out a low groan from your wet grip as you focus more on his thick bulbus head. He removes your hand and brings his cock to your entrance hands free while he brings you into an embrace. His body is flush with yours now. He slowly pushes inside. Your hands claw at his shoulders while you gasp and whimper until he bottoms out in your cervix, where you squeal. Your voice is shaky. “F-fuck Joel. You’re a big boy”.
He growls, dragging his nose along the side of your chin. “Can you take it?”.
“Mhmm”, is all you can let out. He pulls out all the way to come back just as deep. He takes you slow and steady until the milky slick inside you is covering his pelvis and dripping down your ass. The both of you are so hot and sweaty, your bodies gliding along each other like a layer of oil. His sweat drips from his face and hair onto yours as he muffles your screams with his hard wet kisses.
He loves to experiment with you. He thrusts slow, pumping only half his length until you whimper for more, then he fucks you deep and hard until you scream into his mouth or neck. He doesn’t stop. He goes from rolling his hips in circles to dragging them up to hit that sensitive spot to see you come undone all over again, again and again. He talks you through it every time. Every build up he murmurs in your ear, “ I know you can take it. Let me give you more”, and when you cum he strokes your hair while you cry and kisses your forehead with praises, “ She takes me so good, moan for me, that’s it”.
You’ve hit your limit. You have nothing left to give him as you lay limp in his arms and moan weakly for him. Feeling you blissed out sends him to his climax as he gives you one final thrust before pulling out with a wet pop to spurt his cum on your lower belly. He collapses on you, then pulls you into a side-lying embrace. He’s running his hand along your cheek, stroking it with his thumb. You are both a hot, heaving, sweaty mess.
“You okay darlin”?
“Yea, shit Joel. T-that was.. wow. I’m sorry, I didn’t know you had that in you. Not bad for an old boy”, you huff out a laugh.
“Hey, this old boy made you cum so much you went limp.”
You are both laughing now. “That you did, that you did”.
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josephquinnswhore · 11 months
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Hi
Can I request a fic where Ellie and Joel are traveling to Wyoming but before leaving they go to a store to pick up supplies
And Ellie asks why they are there and he’s like “I have to stock up for my family “ ( cause he left for supplies “ and she’s in shock he has a family but when they get there, they notice that the house has been raided and there are dead raiders in the house
So Joel starts to freak out and can’t find his wife and kid but then ellie finds them in a hidden shed
And when Joel rushes to them, he’s worried about the blood on her but then she’s like “ it’s not mine”
Sorry for it being so long , and it’s totally fine if you do not want to write it :}
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A Mothers Strength
Pairing: Joel Miller x female reader.
Summary: you and your baby aren’t where Joel left you, instead there is a trail of blood and two bodies he doesn’t recognise.
Word Count: 3.1k
Content Warning: typical tlou violence, reader bashes someone’s brains in, (out) Joel has a mild panic attack.
Note: I’m gonna make this so angsty lol. Thanks for the request I love you anon 🫶🏼🥰 this is one of my new faves!!!!
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If there’s one thing Joel taught you; it’s not to panic, to think rationally and do what you have to do to protect yourself; to make sure you were the one that survived, no matter what that entailed. Joel was gone, he had gone to do one last trip to the Boston QZ, he had gone to trade some pills and alcohol for a car battery, he had found a truck a while back but the battery was busted, he claimed Tess knew someone who had one, he hated leaving you, and your 6 month old daughter. But he knew if you had a car, it would ensure safety compared to travelling on foot. That was 5 days ago, it wasn’t unlikely that something had happened, trading in itself was a danger that set you on edge, let alone travelling by himself back and forth with one measly gun and a whole city worth of infected, however many were out there, you would imagine it’s a lot. You had to learn to fight while you were pregnant, you couldn’t be in the Boston QZ and be pregnant, they wouldn’t allow it. Joel helped you escape and you’d been travelling since, looking for a safe haven and trying to find Joel’s brother Tommy. You’d learned you were capable throughout your pregnancy at taking out infected. Very capable.
Unlike Joel however, you had never had to face up against something even worse, other people. Joel had told you stories of when the infection first began, the things he did, the things he and Tommy did to survive, it was essential, survival of the fittest and you had never reprimanded or judged him for it once. Now you were finding yourself in a situation where you would have to find yourself in Joel’s shoes, you would have to find the strength to take lives of people if necessary, to protect you and your daughter. Joel had boarded up the windows and doors before he left, which apparently only made the raiders more suspicious, their murmurs outside becoming louder and more aggressive as they tear down the planks of wood, two voices of men can be heard. You load your gun quietly and hold it to your chest, your uneven breathing causing you to shudder through your nose as you purse your lips. You take one last look at your sleeping daughter in her small hand-woven basket, blue blankets keeping her warm as they wrap around her. “I love you, so much.” Worried you’d never get another chance to tell her again. You slide the basket under the bed out of sight.
“Hey, did you hear that, there’s movement in there. We’ve got company.” One man laughed as their voices became clearer you realised the protection Joel had set had been torn down; it was up to you now, to protect your family. “What if it’s an infected man?” The other man voices reluctantly as they turn the knob and swing the door open. You tiptoe behind the door, hoping that your daughter would stay quite long enough for you to eradicate the intruders. You held your breath as the door opened and you shot the first man in the head, his body dropped to the floor with a thud, the blood seeping through the cracks of the old wooden floors. The gunshot had rung through the room, you could hear the muffled sound of your daughter crying, her wailing drew the attention of the second man who had just growled, “fucking bitch!” As he charged towards you, he had tackled you to the ground, overpowering you easily as he knocked the gun from your hands, he’s heaving from the struggle, his gun pointed at your head once he’s got you still enough. “Gunna fucking kill you then that annoying fuckin kid.” Adrenaline kicked in at the thought of something happening to your daughter, you struggle underneath him and grunt, bringing your knee up to his crotch which he groans at, “you fucking whore, gonna make you pay for that!” He’s holding the crotch of his jeans when you find a baseball bat hidden in the corner that you’d stashed days ago for an emergency in case you’d run out of bullets, you hurry back wards and grab the bat, standing to your feet and before the man can react, you bring the bat down onto his head, he falls to the ground holding the back of his head to try and protect himself from the blows.
You’re seeing red, yelling over the top of your screaming daughter, rage overcoming you as you repeatedly bring the bat down over and over again. You only stop when your arms begin to ache with a weakness that makes you drop the bat, his brain and blood is coating the floor in a slick that you almost slip on as you step over him. You bend down and reach for your daughter, taking her out of the basket, shushing her, “shh, I know baby, it’s okay. Mama’s got you.” Rocking her back and forth until she calms down. You set her back in the basket once she’s settled, you begin to rip up the floorboards in which have your supplies hidden beneath them. “Well, we can’t stay here now can we?” You tell yourself. You pack your bag full of the supplies, food and batteries weigh the bag down heavily on your shoulders, let alone trying to carry your baby in her wooden basket that’s heavy enough without a baby in it. With one hand, you somehow manage to pick up your gun, turn the safety off and stick it in the back of your jeans. You have to walk over the two dead bodies that have begun decomposing, you couldn’t stay here, not with the smell and mess to clean.
“Alright little one. Let’s find somewhere safe to stay till your dad comes back, huh?” As you take your first step out of the house that was meant to protect you; you wonder if you’ll be able to find somewhere safe, if Joel will be able to find you. You just had to hope he would.
“My pack is heavy Joel, can’t we rest?” Ellie grunts in discomfort as she shuffles the heavy backpack in an attempt to try to get it to sit more comfortably, it doesn’t.
“We ain’t stoppin’ till I say. Ain’t got long left to go so stop complaining.” Joel’s fast on his feet, even though the sun is baring down on him without mercy, he’s sweating in his long jeans and blue flannel shirt that’s well outworn and a size too small, his stomach less toned than it used to be, it was a ‘dad bod’ as you had called it, the sleeves are rolled to his elbows. The skin of his face, the back of his neck and arms are well golden now, after hours of travelling in the sun, the damage had been done and his skin was already tanned, he would have to invest in a hat, like you’d always scolded him about, was was sure you would again, after seeing how burnt he was.
“Ain’t got long now, just a few minutes up the road.” Joel clarifies, they walk along the empty tar road, the green grass is long overgrown, well over a foot taller than Joel, his eyes scan the area for raiders as he knows from past experience that they like to lurk in the tall grass and try to ambush you. It happened one time in this area and he hoped you’d never have to protect yourself like how he has, or does. “What are we doing here?” Ellie asks as Joel’s body had subconsciously led him to the small dirt pathway that led to an old house, the paint was faded green and peeling from the wood that seemed to be rotting. “My family are here. Had to trade something before we left for Wyoming.” For the first time ever, Ellie was speechless, Joel had a family? “What’s their names?” It didn’t take Joel long to notice two sets of footsteps, large, around the same size as his own in a boot print, he knew it wouldn’t be infected, it had to be raiders. “Quiet, get behind me.” Joel growls as he reaches for his gun from the back of his jeans, pushing Ellie behind him with the other arm, he walks forward and sees the wooden planks he’d hammered to keep the building closed, were now on the ground, some snapped in half, the front door was open and the silence was eerily quiet, Joel didn’t like the ache that formed in his stomach, the guilt, the fear.
“Fuck.” He breaths, pushing forward with his gun in front of him, the first floorboard he steps over, because he knows it creaks, “stay here. You hear me? Do not come in here.” Ellie nods, seeing the colour falling from Joel’s face and his orbs are blackened, his exterior is hardened and he’s never seen Joel look so fierce, she almost cant recognise the man in front of her, compared to who he was only a few seconds ago. Joel pushed forward, the dining room was clear, everything seemed to be in place which was odd, as he walks through the hallway he checks the first bedroom which is clear, again seemed untouched which he thought was weird, if it was raiders, why didn’t they raid the house? The boards along the windows had all been torn down, the windows open wide and giving the outside world a look into the house. His heart hammered in his chest as he approaches the bedroom door, where he left you, told you it would be okay, that you would be safe. He almost can’t find the will to turn the knob, scared of what lies inside the room.
When he turns the knob, he’s not expected to be hit with a stench so foul he’s taking a few steps back, he almost pulls his shirt over his nose just to try to mask it, he pulls out a bandana and secures it around the back of his neck, giving him some relief from the smell, but not much, it was a stench he knew too well; decomposition. His body is shaking as he bursts through the door, expecting to find his wife and infant daughter, he finds two bodies he can’t recognise, one with a single bullet wound to the head, the other.. was probably the cause of the smell. His brains were splattered along the floor and upside of the wall, blood was stained and now black as it leaks through the already damaged floorboards, your baseball bat sits a few feet away with a huge chip out of the wood, a giant crack through the middle and brain matter and blood splattered up to the handle. He almost lets a breath of relief escape him, seeing the floorboards pulled up and supplies all gone he can almost conclude that you survived and escaped with the supplies, but where were you? Where was your daughter?
“God damn it where are you darlin’?” He says to himself. When Ellie calls out to him. “Joel! Joel? I think you should see this.” Joel steps over the bodies and closes the door, leaving the bat behind. He meets Ellie at the front door and follows her concerned eyes to a shed about half a mile away from the house, a light shimmering from inside the shed caught their attention. “Get out your gun.” Joel instructs coldly. Ellie doesn’t ask about his family, although she can piece the puzzle together, there was something in there that Joel won’t talk about. Could it have been? She doesn’t want to ask.
“Keep up kid.” Joel quickens his pace to a jog and Ellie stays beside the man, she suddenly forgets how heavy her pack is, and Joel ignores the way the battery digs into his back as he runs; but he’s frantic now, wondering what’s happened to you. He can’t, he refuses to lose you and your baby after all he’s been through since this shitstorm started. The gravel crunches underneath their boots as they run towards the shed, the light shutting off when they get within 50 yards. Someone is definitely occupying this shed.
“Stay behind me, got it?” Ellie only nods, she starts to panic at the thought of approaching this shed, she knew nothing good could come of it, seeing the look on Joel’s face scared her. What the fuck was in that house?
You hear it before you see it, the crunching and shuffling of someone coming in your direction, you had to cut your baby feeding off your breast short, lying her down and rocking her basket for a few seconds so she’d settle and quiet down. You pick up your gun that’s set on the work bench beside you and try to peek through the small hole in the wood, to add to your terrible day- two blurred figures ran towards the shed, arms outstretched which you figured must be guns. Fuck. You look back towards your fussing baby with tears in your eyes, maybe your luck has run out. You weren’t going down without a fight. Your adrenaline was still at a high from the fight before, your body still aching but prepared to gauge out eyeballs if that’s what it took to protect your daughter. Where in the world was Joel? The shed door creaks open, it’s a decent sized shed, although you knew there were only so many places you could hide. You heard a voice, a female, she sounded young, but you can’t underestimate anyone these days, anyone and everyone is a threat. You shimmy your daughters basket under the work bench, where you’d pulled a blanket over it to give her a better chance of not being seen.
You creep behind the work benches, hearing their footsteps you can calculate where they are, you’re going in blind, you don’t know how many people they could have hiding around the area, and that’s what worries you. You see a spanned on the ground and throw it, it lands about 8 metres in front of you and it catches their attention. “Did you hear that?” The girl says, her footsteps are fast and then stop. You hear hushed whispering of a man, but you can’t hear what they’re saying. It’s quiet now, they’ve gone opposite ways around you to try and box you in, one is heading straight for the direction of your daughter, by the heavier footsteps you’re assuming it’s the man’s
Fuck it.
You rush back to your daughter, knocking over some things in the process that gain the attention of the two people, you’re sitting in front of your daughter, the cloth barely holding up, you sit with your gun in front of you, your body aching and you weren’t sure if you’d make it this time. You see the girl first, she’s holding a gun towards you and she’s scared, she doesn’t shoot. It’s obvious she’s never held a gun before and you don’t want to shoot a child. “There’s someone over here, she has a gun.” She says in a panicked state, the man comes running over from behind you, seeing you covered in blood and arms shaking, his eyes are scanning and he can’t see your daughter. “Put the gun down,” he warns the young girl, he approaches you, puts his hand over your gun and lowers it. “It’s me darlin, it’s just me. Where is she? You’re covered in blood.” The panic in his eyes and voice is evident, his body tense as he kneels down to you. You don’t say anything, you just pull down the cloth that’s behind you, exposing your fussing daughter in her basket, in the same blue blanket Joel had wrapped her in a few days ago.
“S not mine, the blood.” You’re trembling as you feel the adrenaline leave your body, you were exhausted, eyeing the young girl that was standing there awkwardly. Joel picks up your daughter, rocking her with tears in his eyes, “hi baby girl. It’s your dad, I’m so sorry I left you behind, promise I won’t ever leave you again.” Joel turns to you, “cmon darlin’, we gotta get you up.” Joel helps you up, you stand on wobbling feet like a newborn foel. He sends you a concerned look and you turn away, “I’m fine.” You lie, he notices but doesn’t protest, he’d get to the bottom of it later.
“This is Ellie, she’s comin with us. Ellie this is my wife and daughter.” The girl awkwardly waves and you mutter, “hey, sorry bout the gun kid.” She shrugs, “no big deal. You seem like you’ve had a worse day than mine.” You just shrug in respond, not wanting to talk about it.
Joel makes quick work of putting the new battery in the truck and it starts, having half a tank of fuel your luck is beginning to change. You pack the supplies into the car and Joel begins to drive, it doesn’t take Ellie long to fall asleep in the backseat. Joel’s hand rests on your leg, trying to offer some comfort. “We don’t have to talk about it, jus know I’m here for you.” You look away as you start crying, tears just fall one after another. “Said he was gonna hurt our baby, I just lost it Joel, I blacked out I just- I had to protect her. I don’t even feel guilty, that’s the worst part. I took a life so brutally and I don’t even feel bad about it.” You look to Joel and his eyes are soft, the wrinkles on his head are prominent as he frowns softly. “You did what you had to do darlin’. You kept our family safe. He was a bad man, he got what was comin’ to him. You don’t ever feel bad for protecting your family. You won’t ever have to do it again. I ain’t ever leavin’ you two again, I promise you.” Joel’s own eyes start to blur as tears fell from them, from fear and relief. “Joel?” Your voice is quiet as he looks to you, “are you okay?” He sighs, trying to even his breathing. “I saw the windows and the door open and I just thought the worst, then I smelt the blood and I was terrified that I was goin to find you and-“ he chokes up, unable to finish the sentence, he thought he would find you and your daughter dead. “We’re okay Joel. I fought, just like you taught me to.”
“An now I’m never gonna leave again, can’t risk losing you two, not after everything.” “I know Joel, I believe you.” There’s a moments silence between you when you notice how burnt he is. “You’re sunburnt.” You deadpan, unamused. Joel looks bashful as he rubs the back of his sunburnt neck, “I know. Promise I’ll get a hat soon.”
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ohraicodoll · 1 year
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Territorial
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Joel Miller x f!Reader The Last of Us 6.6k Words/ 3rd POV Feral Reader Masterlist Summary: She never paid attention to the newcomers when they joined Jackson until one of them begins to get close to Joel. Warning: Angst. Hurt/Comfort. Violence. Sexual Content. 18+ Minors DNI
She didn’t care when Jackson got new people. She wasn’t one of the regulars that crowded around the entrance, watching patrol bring them through, so similar to how they joined. No, she didn’t care because the rest of Jackson didn’t matter, just the two people she currently lived with. If it didn’t have to do with Joel and Ellie, she didn’t care. So it was at least a month before she met Harper, when she was added to their patrol duty. 
The other women in town, the ones that frequently fawned over Joel Miller, were different from his companion and she knew that. Her insecurity frequently reminded her that she didn’t belong in Jackson with these women that still took the time to dress up and do their hair. But she had seen Joel downright ignore their flirting enough times, had heard him reassure her that wasn’t the type he was interested in. Someone to watch his back. With teeth, he had said. Harper had teeth. She was a good shot, wasn’t afraid to get her hands dirty, and never complained about the work. She got along well with Maria, with everyone really, able to get them to talk about their interests and lives easily and seemed like an open book. Harper helped with the horses and in the food hall and knew how to cook and how to clean a rifle properly. And to her dismay, as she watched the patrol party enter the gates where she definitely wasn’t waiting for the man she lived with, Harper could make Joel smile. Not a smirk or a condescending tilt of the lips, but an actual smile. She watched them dismount from the horses and the woman laughed at something Joel said, his lips curving into a grin, and her heart dropped in her stomach. Because she wasn’t sure the man had ever smiled like that around her. Easy and charming, relaxed. Suddenly she was the old version of herself, anxious and unsure, insecure in her own skin and embarrassed. All her faults and problems blared in her head alongside the echo of the threat hanging over her head. Assimilate or get kicked out of Jackson. She was on her last strike after three rough months of living there while this woman had shown up and fit in better than she ever could after only a month. Her nails dug into her thigh sharply, the small hints of pain trying to keep her grounded. She’d almost convinced herself to turn around and walk home, leave before Joel could see her standing there with all her defects, but then his eyes met hers. And if she didn’t feel awful enough, his smile dimmed a bit, became unsure and almost bashful. Like he didn’t want her to see it. She wondered if Harper had noticed his eyes were more hazel than brown when he was in a good mood. They both walked over to her and she stood there, stiff and stabbing into her own skin, wanting to bolt. Harper turned to her, light hair catching the sun and blue eyes glistening. Perfect and still pretty even after the world went to shit while she was very aware she hadn’t brushed her hair in three days. “Oh hi, I don’t think we’ve officially met,” she smiled sweetly, adjusting the rifle on her back and the bandana around her neck. Joel cleared his throat, nodding towards her and ignoring the furrowed brow that was permanently on her face around strangers, “Harper, this is Red. Red, Harper.” “I’ve heard so much about you. Red’s such an interesting name,” she smiled with a light chuckle though it wasn’t as wide as the one that had been aimed at Joel, her eyes roaming over her. Taking her measure. She only frowned and ignored her eye contact, staring at Joel’s shoulder instead. “It’s not my name,” the words were quiet but raspy, a growl. Harper’s smile tightened in the corner of her eye. The silence weighed between them, stifling, and Joel cleared his throat, “Harper happens to be from Austin. We frequented some of the same spots surprisingly.” The words were almost an explanation or an apology, or an excuse. She didn’t reply, eyes still solely focused on his shoulder and avoiding looking at either of them. Small talk was hard on most occasions but this seemed impossible. She wasn’t sure how she should reply to that. Congrats? Good job finding another person you could easily talk to besides me? She chewed the inside of her lip, feeling uncomfortable and desperately wanting to run, words stuck until she nodded and spit out, “I’ll see you at the house later.” His brow had furrowed when she swiveled on her heel and started walking down the street, rigid and feeling the small welts of blood seeping into her jeans from her nails. ___________________ It wasn’t long before she started seeing Harper everywhere and she grit her teeth every time. 
When she walked into the bar, the location on her list of places to search for Ellie, she found Joel and Tommy chatting with the woman at the bar top. She was talking rapidly, a smile on her face and hands waving as she told some story. A hand talker. Tommy was behind the bar, leaning on it and seeming enraptured by the conversation while Joel was standing with his elbow resting on the counter, body fully turned to face Harper. All three chuckled at something and she watched as her hand landed on Joel’s arm, staying there a few seconds too long before sliding off. Too lingering to be innocent. She wanted to snap her teeth at her, go up to them and put her hand on his back or in his belt loops, a move he’d done so often to her. Push him against the countertop and take his mouth with hers or even straight grab Harper’s perfect hair and slam her face against the table. A million images flashed through her head only to come to a halt at remembering her predicament. Joel’s urges to try to join the community or risk getting kicked out. She knew she was a fine thread away from getting booted. One wrong step out the door and probably bashing in perfect new girl Harper’s face would do the trick faster than she could blink. So instead she pivoted, snarl in her throat, and walked out the bar. Harper became a regular on Joel’s shift. She only worked with the newcomer a couple times. She was good and that irritated her. The woman was a survivor and knew how to handle herself and watch out for others. All the things she usually found lacking in the townspeople and hated, Harper had that and more. She didn’t know what to do with that knowledge and the growing list of the woman’s skills. They’d been scouting out a small location, a couple of cabins a few hours away from Jackson. She’d rode to the far side of them and gotten off, checking the houses for anyone hiding out or seeing if there was anything good to scavenge. When she heard the sound of glass shattering and heavy thumps a few houses down, voices crying out, her heart almost pounded out of her chest. That’s where Joel had been checking. She’d ran fast, bow out, feet carrying her quicker than she’d ever run before on the muddy Spring ground. Previous moments flashed in her mind. Too many close calls. Joel’s blood on her hands from a stab wound. Joel hurt. But the action was already over as she barreled into the room. A Clicker lay bleeding out on the floor, a large hatchet stuck in the fungi petals of its face, mouth in a grotesque scream. Joel was panting on the floor with his back against the corner, pistol in hand unfired, while Harper stood over the infected triumphant. With a grin, she ripped the hatchet from its head and walked over to Joel, offering him a hand. She felt useless. Harper had his back. Teeth. _____________________________ Tommy had finally found her a job she was actually fairly decent at, after being taken off both kitchen and farming duty, but noticing she seemed calmest with animals. People didn’t want to work with her and in her mind that was fine, but in Maria’s it made her a problem. But she liked the dog kennels. They weren’t unlike her. She could understand their wants and needs, their habits and what they deemed their territory. Training them wasn’t easy but it was rewarding and it came with the added benefit that she was around the animals more often than people. She didn’t have to be talkative or put on a mask. They knew hand signs, could read her feelings and what she wanted. It felt comfortable to be with them. Often in the morning she would go and feed the dogs, go over their exercises, walk them in the outside yard they had set aside behind the kennels. Ellie had fallen in love with them as well and sometimes would tag along, was even there when one of the dogs gave birth. She’d been grossed out initially but once the blood and the goo and all the disgusting parts of birth was over and done with she held the small puppies in her hands and helped them find spots to feed. Joel had come a few times, watched them with arms resting on the pen door as they sat in the hay and held the tiny jelly bean puppies. Ellie had grinned, taking over naming duty, and had even held one up forcing Joel to name one. He’d frowned, shrugging at the little brown squirming blob, scratching at his beard, “I don’t know, Brownie?” “Really?” Ellie scoffed, rolling her eyes, “So original. Naming it after its color.” “You named me after my shirt,” she chuckled, raising an eyebrow at the teenager. Those first few days when she hadn’t known how to interact but knew she had to make sure the girl was safe. Unwilling to give any piece of herself, especially her name. So Ellie had formed a piece from the rubble and taken it for herself. Ellie huffed with a sniff, nose turning up, and ignored the dig, “Whatever, Red suited you.” She held the squirming puppies in her lap, watching them seek warmth while holding a small container of sugared ice for the mama to lick and enjoy after pushing out ten little bodies, “Good thing I wasn’t wearing a different colored shirt.” Joel’s eyes were on her and she looked up at him, finding him watching her with the slightest tilt of his lips. She knew he was worried about her, had already been fighting tooth and nail with his brother and his pregnant wife over her position. He was working harder to help her than Ellie who had adjusted quickly. This was the one job inside of Jackson’s walls she was relaxed in and she could feel him taking in the way she seemed at ease. The smile grew, warming. “Did Maggie have the pups?” a familiar voice rang out. The smile vanished and she stiffened.
The kennels had been converted from one of the old stables, the dogs held in old horse stalls on either side of the room. She couldn’t see the woman from her position on the floor, the walls of the stall blocking the view, but she knew it was Harper that had walked in. She came up to Joel’s side, almost touching shoulders, and looked down at her and Ellie with the pups and Maggie. “Oh, hi Red,” Harper’s smile became a bit tighter, head tilting, “I didn’t realize you were the one taking care of her.” She didn’t answer, averting her gaze to Maggie and adjusting the bowl for her to lick. Ellie answered instead, enthusiastically holding the puppy up in her hand, “She takes care of the dogs now! Joel named this one.” The man frowned almost bashfully, shrugging, “It’s Brownie.” Harper laughed and her dimples showed, head quirking as she looked at him, “That’s adorable.” She couldn’t get up and leave with the puppies all around her and both Joel and Harper leaning on the pen door. She was trapped, listening to them chat and laugh and Ellie showing off all the dogs while she sat there and tried to be invisible. She wanted to scream, rage, do something other than be meek and small. It was like every time the woman showed up, the version of her from two decades before took over her skin. The girl who had been shy and timid and didn’t know how to fight back. She wanted to scream at her to do something, say something, snarl at Harper that if she touched Joel one more fucking time she’d break her wrist and shove it down her throat. Instead, she sat there, listening to Ellie talk to her easily and Joel’s soft musings, the three of them getting along better than she ever did. Try. Try. Joel’s pleas haunted her constantly. She was trying. God, was she fucking trying so hard. But this wasn’t an instance like with Grant who had touched her and paid the price or his fucking brother who had sneered in her face and called her a bitch. She could argue those were justified. She could have done worse to them and didn’t. But the problem was Harper hadn’t done anything wrong to her. She hadn’t been mean, she hadn’t touched her, hadn’t done anything but make her feel small in comparison to her presence. There was no reason to fight her, to twist her pretty locks in her fingers and smash her face in until the strands turned red and she was nothing but a cavernous hole. She hated settlement life. She hated the fucking politics of it all, the dance to be respectable. Before, there was no time to worry about feelings or what her and Joel were, how he felt towards her, what her role was in their complicated mess of a relationship. It had moved beyond just sex, but she wasn’t sure what exactly. They’d gone through hell together. Maybe it was that she happened to be there, a place holder to fulfill all he needed while taking care of Ellie, but now he had options. There were other women that could fill that place. Could be a better guardian to Ellie, could take care of Joel, could watch both of their backs. One that didn’t cause problems or that he had to jump to defend or cause Ellie to yell at gawking strangers on her behalf. She tried not to focus on it. Swallowed it down deep in the pit of her stomach and refocused back on the things that mattered, which were caring for Joel and Ellie. 
She tried not to think about it when later that evening when they’d gone to bed he pulled her into his body, hands roaming over her soft belly before gripping her tightly and pushing his hard length against her backside. She tried not to think when his fingers slipped inside of her, pumping in and out as his other hand squeezed her tit and pinched her nipped. Tried not to think if he was pushing into her from behind because he was imagining someone else’s face. The confusion turned to a twisted sort of pain and hurt and rage that needed an outlet. Defiance against her situation. She couldn’t do anything outside the walls of their house and her frustration was tearing her up. She was a fox with its foot caught in a trap, snapping and snarling at whatever she could but unable to do anything. She pulled away, feeling him slip out of her, and shoved him onto his back. Joel let out a small grunt at the hard push, but she didn’t care as she climbed on top of him, watching the small bit of confusion in his eyes. He knew something was off, but didn’t stop her. Let her take what she needed. She had to feel some ounce of control. So she rode him hard, nothing gentle to the way she rose and fell on him, sweat coating her skin and panting. There was no rhythm to it, only primal need and hurt carrying her movements. He sat up, brows furrowed and not keen on the distance of laying back, the angle changing enough she groaned. His hand caressed her neck softly in contrast to her harsh movements and the small tattooed stars on her collarbone he was always infatuated with. Almost as if he was trying to bring that version of her back to herself. But she didn’t want that. She didn’t want to give him an ounce of control over her, show him he could affect her at all. Because that meant someone else had the power to hurt her. Twisting her fingers in his curls tightly, she crushed her lips to his to avoid his searching eyes, swallowing every sound he made from the pleasure of their jutting hips. Her nails scraped along his scalp and into his shoulder hard enough she knew there would be red lines in the morning. He was letting himself be distracted, giving in, snapping his hips into hers equally rough with arms a tight band around her middle and holding her to his chest. They were wrapped around each other. For once there wasn’t the coaxing sound of his urgings as he drew her moans from her usually quiet throat, his praise at how good she was for him and how she felt. He was silent in the face of her aggression and she wasn’t sure how to feel, trying desperately to chase that control and release of her emotions. Her lips left his swollen and bruised and she pressed open mouth kisses onto the hard muscle of his shoulder as the pace became a mess. It wasn’t about her orgasm at that moment. She wanted to make him come, drag it from him like a trophy. Show him exactly what she could do to him. And when he did find his release, the hot spend of his arousal filling her, she bit down hard into the skin of his neck making him groan harder and dig his fingers into her skin. He tasted like sweat and salt and the earthy air from working outside. She didn’t come, didn’t mention it or even want it, only held him tightly as he came down from the high and slid his hand over her naked back. His grip was a little harder and she kept her face tucked into his neck when he tried to meet her eyes. They went to bed without any discussion, him holding her to his chest while her eyes stared into the darkness longer, listening to his breaths. The sound of knocking in the early morning woke them up. She heard Joel curse and throw on pants and a flannel, not bothering to button it up before lumbering down the stairs. Sleep beckoned to pull her back under, breasts pressed into the cool sheets and covers slid down from Joel leaving. It was usually Tommy, up early and taking care of things or letting him know of any problems. But she paused at the distinctly female voice she heard. A few minutes later Joel came back into the room and began to dress fully. She bit her lip, watching him from where her face was shoved into the pillow, brows furrowed. Boots, jacket, holster, gun. Everything signs he was leaving the walls. He looked at her after snapping in his gun and paused when he noticed she was awake and staring, two large unblinking eyes watching him from behind her arms. Joel hesitated in the darkness, contemplating, almost guilty. It was supposed to be his day off. Yet here he was, racing off. “Harper said one of the guys is sick and they’re short one so I’m gonna go help out with morning patrol,” he explained and nodded to himself, thumbs in his belt. A reasonable excuse. She wondered if he hadn’t noticed she was awake would he have left without telling her? But still, she said nothing and tucked her face back into the pillow, exhausted and a little sad and drowning in her own deteriorating self-esteem and doubt. A few moments later, she ignored the trail of his fingers on her naked back, soft and apologetic, before he left the room. Most of the time it was Tommy asking him to fill in. He didn’t say yes often and would tell him to shove it before going back to their bed. But Harper had asked this time and she felt her hackles raise at the fact she’d come to their house. To ask him specifically. And he’s been quick to say yes. 
These feelings weren’t something she knew how to process or handle. Who the fuck handled being jealous of all things in the apocalypse? It was ridiculous, but settling in Jackson had allowed those things to creep in. She became aware of all she lacked and all she couldn’t handle and how other people didn’t have the same issues as her. She let her instincts guide her. The kennels became her home. She knew when Joel was home and avoided him, knowing that if she didn’t see him with Harper then it wouldn’t hurt as much versus death by a thousand cuts. She knew better than to try and sleep in the downstairs room, he’d only find her and yell at her to go upstairs, so she went to bed early or late. Asleep before he would show up or waiting until he was sleeping himself. Ellie followed her around when she wasn’t going to classes or helping out where she could. The girl never asked directly what was wrong, but she knew something was up. There was worry in her eyes and she would ask for help with inane tasks, trying to lure her home like luring a frightened dog home with a treat. She didn’t want to worry or hurt her, but the feelings were choking her and she didn’t know how to cope. Some nights, she missed her sister and having someone to walk her through it all. Annie had been so much smarter than her despite her young age. She understood the world better, was sassy like Ellie, and could read people so well. Unlike her who was gullible back then and immensely naive, unsure and anxious constantly. Book smart, but not much else. But Annie was gone along with that version of her. 
Sometimes she’d feel Joel inching closer to her in the bed, hands ghosting over her shoulder or brushing through her hair when he thought she was asleep. His lips brushing her skin. Never pushing, far too patient. 
When he left for morning patrol, she pretended to stay asleep. Harper would be in his group and when that happened, she liked to wait outside the house for him. The kennels welcomed her and she spent time with each dog, shoving her face into their necks and running her hands over their fluffy coats. She checked on the puppies and weighed them all, walking Maggie so she could get a break from the squirming things. She even spent time with the older dogs, taken off duty, making sure they got attention and massaged their joints and hugged them in her lap. Her brain made backup plans. If Joel asked her to leave the house, she could set up a cot in the kennels and stay there. There was even a small converted garage she could live in if she needed to. If they asked her to leave, she could go north and stay within distance enough she could visit Ellie often enough. Maybe set up a radio code similar to what Joel had told her about their friends Bill and Frank so she could set meet up spots. The latter was more likely. People only put up with her because of Joel and if he chose Harper then there wasn’t any reason to keep her in Jackson to them. Ellie would have guardians, she wasn’t necessary.
Hours passed while she cared for the dogs. She skipped breakfast and lunch, choosing instead to spend time training them or napping with the senior dogs in their pens.
It was mid-day when the doors opened and she heard footsteps enter. They weren’t familiar and her body stiffened instantly, shutting the pen door behind her as she exited Maggie’s enclosure. Sometimes it was one of the patrols, coming to switch out the dogs, but they didn’t always take them out unless someone was spotted and none had been taken that day. Her heart thudded even louder when she saw who it was, Harper’s smile a little too tight as she made eye contact. In all the times since the newcomer had joined Jackson, she’d never been alone with the woman. Now she didn’t like the lack of a buffer, the way her focus took in every inch of her. But in the same way, the cracks in her mask were showing. What had seemed gentle in the lines of her face were now condescending, mocking, ingenuine. Her lips were stretched thin in almost a sneer and those blue eyes were hard. Oh. She could see the game then, the cunning analyzing way this woman looked at her. She was right. Harper was a survivor, was so very smart, and was also willing to do whatever to get her way. You don’t survive this long by being sweet and kind and caring. You had to be ugly sometimes, but Harper had gotten good at hiding that ugliness from the right people. There was no reason to hide it from her though. 
The woman stepped further in and walked towards her languidly, trailing her hands along the stable doors. Her exit was cut off, having to move around the woman to leave, and she began to see the situation for what it was. A standoff. A fight. Her teeth were grinding, nails sinking into her palm if only to inflict some kind of violence to keep herself in check. 
Harper smiled, faux kindness painted on her lips, “They told me about you, warned me to be careful around you, and all the problems you’ve been having. They told me how you’re on your last leg here.” She paused and the smile widened, “You should just go and save everyone the trouble. Ellie’s doing great here and from what Joel has told me, he’s enjoying having his brother back and this new settlement life. If you really care about them, you’d realize you’re holding them back.”
Her blood was boiling, rage roaring through her head at Harper’s gall to mention her people, and she growled, “And you’re so worried about them, right? Concerned citizen?”
“Joel has been through a lot,” Harper spat out and she wanted to snap her teeth as if she didn’t fucking know, “He shouldn’t have to worry about some woman messing things up and getting them kicked out.” Some woman, as if that was all she was. The words were spit out of her mouth like they were covered in grime and blood. She didn’t even bother to hide what she meant. The words were all there, the implication that the man had opened up to her, told her about his life and what they’d been through, and his feelings regarding this new chapter. Things he hadn’t told her yet, too busy trying to douse fires and help her get settled. 
Cleaning up her messes.
With a clenched jaw, holding in the hurt and the anger to keep from showing the damage, she bent down and grabbed her bag to try and leave. There was no winning in this sense because she was right and she’d never been good with words. Better to get out of there, go somewhere else before the damage took hold and would start to fester, “Your concern is noted.” Moving to go around her and leave, Harper stepped in her path, shoulders straight and spine rigid with her chest puffed out, “It’s not just for them. This is a civilized place.” And you’re not that went unsaid, “Why don’t you do everyone a favor and go? They’ll be fine and happy. No one has to worry if you’re gonna freak out and kill someone and you can finally roam the forests and be back home.”
She was so close she could smell the trees and wind on her, the slight hint of sweat from the horse. Too close. Close enough she could wrap her teeth into her flesh and bite and rip. Too tempting.
“Or you can get the fuck out of my face?” she hissed with her teeth bared. It was all rising, the urge to hurt her. She’d hurt so many people for less and it would feel so good to break her knuckles open on her mouth, to hear the cartilage in her nose crack. But her smile turned smug and she only pressed in, almost chest to chest, and using her few inches of height to look down at her, “Or what? What can you do? They’ll kick you out and do you really think Joel would be on your side if you hurt me?” That made her hesitate. Because she wasn’t sure. With the other women, the men and their obvious disdain for her, yes he would defend her. But this new person who was like a merging of all he liked? Tough but good with people and pretty and able to hold her own, someone he trusted at his back. Would he defend her? Harper sensed that hesitation and, before she could blink, took advantage and shoved her back. She stumbled, losing ground, so aware she was trapped. The fox with its leg in a noose, all over again. Fighting would give her exactly what she wanted. Not fighting back made her weak, someone to trample on. Someone too weak to live. 
“Come on. Settlement life make you lose your bite or are the rumors hot air?” Harper hissed and shoved her again. Her instincts were screaming to fight, to shove her back, grab her knife, or use her fists. Beat her teeth in and make her swallow each one to the point she could only eat soup until she choked on it. But that hanging threat was there like a guillotine, Tommy’s voice saying Maria was considering kicking her out.
Joel asking her to try.
So she did nothing. She clenched her fists and bit her tongue until blood coated it. And when Harper threw a punch, snapping her head to the side, she still did nothing. 
Shame and anger and resentment bloomed in her chest and the small taste of blood grew until she could feel a steady trickle down her throat as her nose took the brunt of the damage. She’d killed so many people for simply touching something of hers, looking at her, had done awful things to protect herself and her two people, and yet she would take this if it meant keeping them safe and happy. But it felt so much like losing to just let it happen.
“Can’t do anything, can you?” Harper chuckled, “They don’t need you, ya know that? You’re baggage. Joel and Ellie’s lives would be so much easier without you dragging them down-” “The fuck you just say to her?” The moment the deep voice snarled through the kennel, she saw Harper freeze. It came from the open doorway and she watched as the sneer on her face morphed into surprise and then tried to turn soft, apologetic. Fake. They both turned and watched as Joel entered the kennel, lips twisted into a hard frown and brow shading his eyes. He was looking at the woman differently now. Like an outsider or a threat. She could see the subtle fear and discomfort swim to the surface under that gaze. The game was up. Mask invisible. “Joel-” “Not another word. You shut your fucking mouth,” he snarled and Harper shrunk in response. She watched it all with a disconnect, feeling the blood slide down her lips and into her mouth. There was no relief at his appearance. Shame was still a heavy blanket on her shoulders at him finding her cowed.
With a gulp, Harper’s gaze swung between the two and she slid away, scurrying around him and towards the exit. But not before he called out, “If you say a goddamn word to her ever again, I’ll let her finish what you started and swear before the whole town that you deserved every bit of what she does to you. I’ll make sure she doesn’t get punished for a single fucking thing.” The threat was there but not from him. No, even catching them with her own blood smeared across her face, he knew she could do the damage herself unrestrained and untethered. That this moment was a special circumstance because what she could do was far worse than what he would. Harper ran and didn’t look back. Silence took over between them, tension thick enough the dogs whined and pawed at their pen doors. She stood stiff and unmoving, eyes not meeting his but looking off into the darkness. He was the first to break the silence. “Why didn’t you fight back?” Joel asked, a growl still in his voice but not towards her. She smiled humorlessly, hands on her hips and staring down at the door floor. Her blood was speckled on the ground, “Because I’m trying.”
Joel scoffed and stepped more into the room, grabbing her chin until she looked up at him. From his back pocket, he pulled out a rag and gently began to wipe the blood from her face, “Trying to do what? Be a punching bag?” Blood was in her throat when she swallowed, heart beating a little louder at his touch, but she continued to avoid his gaze, “Integrate.” He paused at the word, his thumb rubbing the edge of her jaw compulsively. Then his grip tightened and he turned her forcefully to meet his gaze. Joel’s eyes were hard and lips pressed thin with anger but also regret and frustration, “I don’t give a shit if we’re integrating or whatever. Someone gives you shit, lays a hand on you, fuck even makes you feel like you don’t belong with us then you knock their fucking teeth in.” She swallowed as he all but snarled the words at her, his fingers so tight on her skin, but he continued, “Settling down here doesn’t mean I want you to become a doormat and I’ll argue with Maria until I’m fucking blue over that. They start shit? Then you sure as fuck finish it.” Her teeth clenched and she felt the sharp coppery tang of the blood still in her mouth, “They’ll kick me out-” “No, they won’t,” he hissed angrily, “I fucking mean it, Red. I don’t want you softening for our sake if it means people try to make you feel like shit. Your place is here with us. No one is going to get between us, I can assure you that.” “She wasn’t wrong,” she replied softly as if saying it out loud was exposing an open nerve, exposing her insecurity to him, “I’m baggage. She could take care of herself and you and Ellie. She can cook and watch your back and gets along with people. I can’t do that-” “Stop,” he ground out, “I’m not that easy. Jesus, I’m not going to chase after the first woman that can hold a gun and make me a fucking pie.” Despite his hard words, he still gently wiped her face clean, taking such care in checking her over and making sure she was okay. It was almost too much, “Give yourself some credit, Starshine-” “You spent a lot of time with her,” the words were like ripping open her skin, bitter and stupid and raw as they spilled out of the wound, “She’s…from Austin and…you laughed and smiled with her. You just seemed happier around her.” Joel paused and pulled back a little to fully take in her expression and what was at play. She could see the moment he saw her, really saw her no matter how hard she was trying to hide her feelings. The insecurity. The jealousy. Everything she had struggled with. He chewed his lip and nodded, brow furrowing a bit harder, “I’m sorry I didn’t realize what she wanted or how she was making you feel. But you’re fucking stupid if you think I wouldn’t turn her ass down in a second.” The words weren’t gentle or soft, but they were said as a fact. The simplest fact that Joel would never choose Harper. That he wasn’t actively pursuing that. And it worked. She felt the tightness in her shoulders ease a bit as he pulled her forward into his embrace, pressing a kiss against her forehead. Her fingers dug into his back, gripping the worn denim fabric of his shirt tightly and she couldn’t help but sigh into his embrace. Home. It felt like home and comfort and everything she had felt she was missing. Breathing him in, she mumbled against his chest, “She’s probably going to complain next time you have patrol with her.” “She’s not going to be on patrol with me,” he murmured into her ear, pulling back to sweep her messy hair behind her ears, “I’m gonna make sure she works exactly where she belongs. On shit duty.” “You don’t have to. You don’t have to come to my rescue,” she argued albeit weakly. “Oh I’m not,” Joel chuckled, lips turning up into a smirk, “This is all for me. No one insults what’s mine.” She looked at him, brow furrowed at the words, mind trying to process them. But she didn’t get very far before his lips were on hers, kissing her hard and tugging her back flush against his body so she could feel exactly how much he wanted her. Her nails dug into his skin, teeth tugging on his bottom lip, while his hands kneaded the soft curves of her ass, pressing the hard front of his jeans into her stomach. He groaned into her mouth and pulled away enough to speak against her lips, grip on her still tight, “Let’s get back home so I can fuck you so hard you’ll stop doubting yourself.” She chuckled, wanting to argue that that was a hard promise to keep, but he was already dragging her out of the kennels and into the darkening streets as the sun began to lower. True to his word, Harper found herself with a brand new post going forward. Tommy didn’t mention the reason why to her, didn’t pull her aside and question her over what happened. Ellie didn’t even mention her bruised nose. Whatever Joel had told them was enough. The woman went out of her way to avoid going anywhere near any of them going forward, even straight turning in the opposite direction when she saw them and eventually coming off patrol duty all together. She tried not to feel satisfied at that. Tried not to feel more at ease or proud of herself when Maria told her she was doing a damn good job with the kennels and asked if she wanted to take on more duties, almost cementing that she wasn’t going to be asked to leave. Joel and Ellie did that for her, celebrating every small win and reminding her exactly where she belonged. With them.  _________________________________________ Taglist:  @alouise20 @faceache111​​ @hawsx3​​ @taxidriversainz @iluvbunnyhops @mrfitzdarcyslover​ @emlovesya  @agent007knight​ @spaacerabbit​ @namgification @wonwoosthetic​  @wxnderingthoughts @sagggy @escaping-reality8
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destructive-path · 5 months
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Fan. - E.W.
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a/n: Hi! This is the first one shot i have ever written so i would appreciate some feedback in the comments please! (but pls be nice) This is ur average ao3 coded fic with no proofread and bad grammar to ease you in to what i plan on posting if all goes well!
summary - jackson au where basically the entire pt.2 never happened, Ellie is older, Joel is alive. Instead of falling for Dina, Ellie has a fascination with a girl (you) that swims at the local creek near jackson.
( I imagine farm ellie looks here bc im a mullet enthusiast )
warnings: NSFW 18+ ONLY mdni, smut, kissing, mentions of sex, fingering (r receiving), service top! ellie, sub! reader, oral (r receiving), pet names,
word count : 8.5K (I KNOW SHE’S A BIT HEFTY BUT ITS WORTH IT IMO)
Jackson summers were painfully hot. Maybe it was the effects of the extensive bombing that took place when everything went to shit. Or maybe it was just living in the apocalypse that made everything unbearable. Everything was out to kill you, including the heat. Great.
You could cut the air with a knife. In this time of scarce recourses there wasn’t a lot of remedies people could access to alleviate the sheer heat that surrounded them. There was an occasional establishment in city limits that was graced with a limited amount of air conditioning. (In summers jackson preserved the generators for more important things) Although it never really stayed cool for long anyways because every citizen that wasn’t on patrol or working an assigned shift could be found in one of these buildings.
Fans were like gold during these times. If you were lucky to have one it was most likely scored on patrol, which was rare. So whatever chance you got, you found yourself at a creek just outside of jacksons walls to cool down. It was a flowing stream that kept cool year round, surrounded with trees and engulfed in shade from the sun.
Lots of people your age could be found there during these excruciating summer days. Mostly young adults, those old enough to be assigned on patrol with the exception of the occasional teenager. It was a safe space for younger people to get away from the effects that summer had on authority figures of jackson. To be fair the heat made everyone a little irritable, but you could only take so much.
You had almost made it to your sacred spot before a familiar voice stopped you in your tracks.
“Hey there little minnow” A soft but somewhat gruff voice states behind you.
You must have been so consumed with getting to your destination that you had failed to hear the footsteps of your fairly recently acquainted swimming partner close behind you.
It wasn’t an intentional initial meet cute, one day while you were enjoying your solitude she emerged from the trees. Her eyes were wondering in search of something but when they landed on you in the water, the curious stare faded and she asked if she could join you. You Accepted.
She wasn’t always there when you were but you had begun to notice that she has been attending the spot more frequently the past few weeks. You never said many words to each other, both using this time as more of a solitary escape than a social vacation. You couldn’t deny though, she had a presence that felt intimidating…yet comforting? So you never dismissed her. Maybe just admired observed her unique demeanor from a distance. Only ever exchanging words on occasion.
You slowly spun around to face her, taken aback by the new nickname that left her lips.
“Minnow?” You state teasingly, your raised brow coaxing a chuckle out of the girl.
“Ive seen you out here almost everyday.”
She looks down in a sort of bashful way. Clutching the strings of her bag on her shoulders in a fidgety manner.
“Like this creek is your home or something…honestly now that im thinking about it I dont know if Ive ever seen you anywhere in jackson but here.” She scratches the back of her neck and repositions upright. The bottom of her shirt lifts at the tug of her elbow upwards to gain better access to her neck. This action exposes her slightly tanned stomach and a v line practically begging you to stare at it.
You inhale. As you think about the times you have laid eyes on her you realize its always been the way she looks now. A slightly grown out mullet pushed back with a thin black headband, some sort of sports bra underneath a slightly cropped muscle tee, with short swimming trunks that stop a little less than halfway on her thighs. She always had slightly sun kissed cheeks and freckles that decorate her entire face in various places. Exhale. Maybe you do come here too much.
“I could say the same for you too, you know. This was my spot first.” You rebuttal in a playful tone, crossing your arms.
The young woman throws her hands up in defense and steps a little closer to you. You can see a layer of sweat rolling off her now.
“Fair, fair…you dont mind do you? Every other corner of this stream but this one is overrun by like- loud jackson youths. I just need somewhere I can cool down and relax. Away from the noise you know? If im honest the only reason I found this place is because I saw you sneaking away from the usual crowded section.”
Her eyes meet yours in search of something. Acceptance? Maybe just a sign that you dont think shes a creep? You cant help but blush at the thought of her eyes following you, curious of your endeavors.
She notices this.
“Its fine.” You state calmly. Genuinely. Which makes her smile as she watches you turn on your heels to continue to the stream.
“Just as long as you dont call me a minnow anymore…” You pause. In search of her name. You remember she told you the first time she swam with you.
“…Ellie. Right?” You keep walking ahead listening to her steps slightly behind you.
“Right. And got it, no more fish related nicknames. I like swimming here with you. Id hate to fuck it up.” You can hear the smirk in her tone. You try to shake it off but you cant. She enjoys your time together…Noted.
You make it to the edge of the stream and stop at a patch of grass where you normally put your things. This time Ellie settles next to you instead of her usual spot a few patches over.
“Can I ask why you come here so much? I feel like you have to be half fish.” You laugh at this, taking a liking to her humorous side as opposed to the usual quietness you are used to.
“Pretty much the same reason you do. That, and I dont have a fan in my room, so this is the only way I can stay cool in summer. ” You reply as you began to remove the clothes that served as a sort of practical cover up from the journey from your house to the stream.
Ellie hums in response and watches as you peel of the top that was clinging you your body on the walk here. Revealing the only bikini u had the luck of finding in this current state of the world. You were now only in your swim suit peering down at your own reflection in the water. Ellie stands up behind you, motivated by your new state and removes her black headband and muscle tee then tosses them ontop of her own belongings as she makes her way to stand next to you by the stream.
She is close. Closer than shes ever been before, which isnt even really THAT close. But for some reason its enough for you to notice. You can smell her now. The need to sneak a look at her state from this distance overcomes you. You can see some scars on her face you didnt notice before. A small pit in your stomach begins to form and u turn to look back at your own reflection in the water. Her gaze averts away from the stream and towards your direction. You shift your eyes to look at her reflection in the water until you muster enough strength to meet her gaze next to you. Ellies mullet has now fallen around her face and is stuck to her temples and forehead due to the heat. The green in her eyes impossible to ignore, almost as if they were daring you to swim in them and not the water next to you. The pit in your stomach grows a little larger but you cant think of anything to say. Luckily (as if she read your mind) she speaks up.
“Jump in on three?” She asks. You Nod.
“One” says ellie
“Twooo” You drag
“THREE!” You both shout and finally break eye-contact to jump into the cold water.
This day was different than the others, you both knew it.
After swimming for what felt like no time at all, (but both of you determined had been several hours due to the sun’s dramatic new position) you decided to leave the coldness of the water and return back to jackson city limits.
The walk back was silent. A juxtaposition to the time you two had spent together in the water. Maybe you were silently soaking in all the information you had learned about Ellie or maybe it was because your time together was almost over. This swim session was filled with questions about each other, statements about jackson and various basic getting to know each other things. Ellies questions were unique. She asked you things no one had before. It was as if she was desperate to know you, like she had already had an arsenal of questions ready for the moment you two had finally decided to get to know each other. Your questions came naturally, but still revealed a side to her that you could never predict yourself.
She was an artist. She was a killer, of man and monster alike. Mostly everyone was these days. Although, her stories and the journey it took to get Jackson was something you would never forget. Ellie loved jokes and comics and space. Nerd. She asked you lots (lots) of questions about your own theories of how the universe worked. You could tell your perspective was as interesting to her as the subject itself. You told her about your own interests which also seemed to dazzle her in a way even you couldn’t explain. Getting to know each other reminded you of reading a really good book, or traveling to somewhere new. Theres was so much to learn. So much to still unravel, details to notice. You didn’t want to stop getting to know Ellie. And she didn’t want to stop talking to you.
So the silent walk back was interrupted by Ellies voice.
“Um-you mentioned you dont have a fan in your room?” She asks, already knowing the answer but mostly seeing if you would fall into the trap she had been asking herself the entire walk back to jackson if she should set. You shake your head and respond.
“I do not unfortunately. Never got lucky enough on patrol to find one. I look every time though, and nothing. My guess is all of the ones within our patrol areas got taken by jackson citizens. If I wanted to find one these days I would probably have to journey for miles.” You state plainly. Curious why she asked, so you ask.
“Why?”
She looks up from her shifting feet.
“Well, I uh- have one. In my room…A fan. If you were still feeling hot.”
She steps closer.
“We could go there and continue to cool down...” Shes looking directly at you again. Her green eyes are begging for you to accept her seemingly gracious (but really somewhat selfish) offer. You cant help but swallow, hard.
You accept and she leads you to her place.
As you enter Ellies home everything she had told you at the creek before makes more sense. Its almost as if her personality had been stripped from her and placed on the walls and shelves around you. You had never seen a room with so much stuff. A part of you was curious on how she had collected so many items over the years. These days you had forgotten that was an option, you had become too consumed by other things to remember to have a personality of your own to decorate your home with.
You liked it in her room. Well liked was an understatement. You silently paced around the space taking note of everything you saw. Posters, figurines, lots of books and comics. You began to notice her art that was sprawled all over the room in various corners. She was talented. You noticed a guitar and a record player with lots of vinyls next to it. She had mentioned a guardian of hers had a large influence on her love for music. You made a mental note to make sure she showed you her appreciation for music sometime. As you continued to take in everything in silence, Ellie couldn’t take her eyes off you. She watched the way you hesitantly touched the occasional item. Her stomach did flips each time you stared a little longer than normal at a sketch or painting you had discovered around the space. Each little hmm or ah that exited your mouth left her with a mountain of curiosity. She wanted to know every thought behind every item you saw. She was overwhelmed by your presence in her space. You were here. Admiring her things, in her room, alone with her.
“So, what do you think?” Ellies asks.
“Of your room?”
“No of the fan.” She gestures to a grey fan slowly moving side to side placed near the corner of her bed.
“Oh. Its nice.”
“Im joking. Just nice?”
“Jerk. Your room is cool.”
“Yeah?”
“Mmhmm. I like your art.”
Ellie gestures to the art you have been observing for the last few minutes.
“Oh you mean this art?” She asks in a playfully sarcastic tone. You catch her smirking this time, not wanting to give her the full satisfaction so you decide to continue with the playful dialogue she has struck.
“Mmmhm, Id like to meet the artist someday. Do you think you could introduce me?” You ask. Now mirroring Ellie’s smirk.
“Woooooow.” She scoffs in response only making your smirk turn into a much wider grin.
“Ohhh!” You continue your game. Ellie continues to laugh whilst matching the increasing smile now on both of your faces.
“Is this? This cant be your art? I mean its actually good. I didn’t realize I was in the presence of a young van gogh.” You tease. Hoping you didn’t offend her with the comparison to the only artist you could remember. Now you are both laughing.
“Oh come on.” She rolls her eyes.
“Im no Van gogh.” She states boldly. Your laughter dies down slightly as you both continue to stare at a painting she had been working on. She turned her gaze back to you.
“You know Van goh was like, criminally underrated in his prime? He was deemed untalented by those who viewed his work when he was alive.” You smiled at the knowledge she decided to share with you.
“Ah so you do have something in common.” you turn to face her fighting a smile, wanting to see her reaction.
“Ohhh okay… whos the jerk now?” She asks as her head tilts slightly to the side, lips back in smirk position.
You dont respond immediately. Soaking in the effortlessness of you and Ellies rebuttal. You search for words to change the subject, but, in this moment you cant help but notice her current state. Shes in diffferent clothes now. The change must have happened as you were distracted admiring ellies room. She was dressed in dark blue boxers and a white longsleeve sleep shirt with the top two silver buttons left unclasped. The longsleeve was slightly oversized and stopped just above her waist with the sleeves pushed to her elbows. Her boxers were slightly shorter than the swimming trunks you were used to. The pit in your stomach had reappeared again. Noticing her now dry hair didnt help much either. It was very much disheveled sticking out every which way. Ellies fringe framed her face in a way that made your cheeks turn red. It was only then, when the heat on your face was significantly more prominent did you realize how long you had been staring.
Your gaze returns to Ellies eyes and the playful demeanor she once had was gone. Instead it was replaced with something much more. Her eyebrows were knit and her bottom lip was now under them punishment of her teeth. She looked at you as if you were a painting. Not one in a museum, more like one of her own. A piece of art she could only imagine in her head. A blank canvas she needed to decorate. Afraid one wrong stroke could ruin you. She looked at your arms, legs, stomach, chest. Ellie studied you with such intensity you thought you would dissolve under her stare. Your breathing increased. You swallow hard.
“Ellie.” You say, hoping to ease her piercing stare. Its no use. Shes lost in the observation of you.
She stands from her sitting position and slowly walks towards your direction, still saying nothing. Ellie still hadnt made direct eye contact for a while, so you took this moment to look at her face. You wanted to notice every facial expression she made whilst discovering your body. You watched her mouth part to support the fact that she was now breathing as hard as you were. With every step ellie inched closer you spotted something new. A freckle or scar, the slight pink of her lips, the twinge of brown in her astonishingly green irises.
She was inches away from you now, still refusing to acknowledge your eyes. Your instincts made u step away from her like two negative sides of a magnet. The more she moved into you the more you moved away. There wasnt much room for you to avert her. You continued this dance until you were met with the hardness of her desk behind you. The solid surface made contact with the lower half of your behind, leaving you no choice but to seize your movements away from ellies unwavering advances.
She stops and places her hands on either side of you. Your trapped now. Ellie is gripping her desk like she would fall over if she didn’t. Shes so close yet not touching you at all. Your breaths are now synched. You look at ellies neck and see her swallow hard. When you look at her face she still hasn’t gained the bravery to look you in the eye. Instead she has her eyes fixed on your slightly parted lips. She looks at them as if they were a cold glass of water just out of reach. A perfectly good dessert thrown in the trash. She looked at your lips as if she needed them to stay alive. Like it was painful.
How did you get here? One moment you two had been playful and lighthearted and now the room was filled with tension as thick as the hot air outside. The pit in your stomach returned with a great force.
Noticing this, you decided to be brave. You allowed your tongue to swipe itself through the part of your lips, wetting them for whatever was to come next. Ellie let out a shakey sigh of relief. Followed by a soft hum. Her head lowered in order to get a closer look at your newly damp lips, her eyebrows knit even more at the sight of them from this new angle.
Slowly but steadily her hand began to rise from its grip on the desk behind you. Her palm inched closer and closer to your face. Only until her hand had risen past your shoulders did you notice its presence, distracted by the concentration in her eyes. She froze for a moment molding her hand into a lazy cuping formation mere centimeters from your cheek.
She was shaking. Ellies breathing had picked up slightly. You took this opportunity to look away from her hand and back to her eyes, still not on yours. The painful yearning look was still painted on her face. As if she ran a marathon in order to connect with you but couldnt go the last mile, like she needed your permission to cross the finish line. So you moved your head forward and slowly wiggled into the crescent her long and slender fingers had formed so close to your face. As if you were begging her to become your own personal champion. You wanted to be her prize. Ellies breathing stopped.
For a moment there was pure silence. Every sound around you from the fan by the corner of her bed to the hum of jackson civilization became muffled. Everything in you ached for her finish what you two had started, whatever it was.
You leaned into the warmth her fingers provided biting back a whine for something more. Only then, when Ellie noticed you dripping with desperation did the first words in several minutes get uttered.
“Can I kiss you?” Ellie whispers in a low tone. You were sure you wouldnt have been able to hear it if she hadnt been so close. The heat emitting from her hand on your flushed cheek had become scalding. Unable to utter a word because you were afraid your voice might crack, you nod.
Ellie mirrors your prior actions and licks her own lips to alleviate the dryness her heavy breathing had caused. Green eyes still trained on your parted lips.
You feel the soft grasp she has on your cheek shift slightly. Her thumb strokes your cheek unbearably slow, inching closer and closer until it finds its place at the corner of your mouth. She pauses for a second, inhales-then swipes the digit slowly across your lower lip. This causes you to inhale deeply. Ellie had barely touched you at all, her intimate gesture crumbled what ever composure you thought you had left. You were going mad and extremely needy. Heart racing faster than ever. Then once she was done with the first touch your bottom lip, she swipes her finger even slower back across your top one. You swear the roughness of her finger tip is stained in your memory forever.
This causes you to become weak.
You sink into the desk behind you slightly leaning on it due to the fact that your knees no longer seemed to function. Ellie becomes the support of your head as your neck becomes limp after she had taken whatever strength you had at the delicate touch of your lips. Fuck. fuckfuckfuck.
You start to think its impossible for Ellie to look you in the eye. She had become entranced by your lips. You have yet to look away from her eyes which were still focused on the one place you wanted her most. It was evil that she has yet to meet your stare.
“Ellie..” You whispered once more. Yearning for something, anything. Then, as if she could hear your thoughts before they left your mouth for the second time today (at this point you were convinced) she began to grant you your wish.
Ellie pressed her head against yours for a moment and exhaled. “What are you doing to me?” She asks, in that painful tone you saw oozing out of her demeanor earlier. You cant find the words because you honestly dont know what you have done to make her want you this way. All you can think, see, hear is Ellie, ellieellieellieellieellie. So instead you plead for her. “Please look at me Ellie.”
She becomes more malleable each time you utter her name.
Ellies eyes rose to meet yours. Finally. Then your lips meet. It was as if your stare had pulled her in. When eye contact had been made she couldn’t stay away anymore. You thought that was maybe why it took her so long to return her gaze to yours. If she did, she couldn’t stop herself from doing whatever she wanted with you. But you didn’t care. You needed Ellie.
You both sigh into the kiss, eye contact unbroken for a moment. Sure most people would consider open eyes during this moment strange, it didn’t bother you though. It had felt like eons since she had graced you with direct eye contact. You needed it so desperately you refused to look away. So did she. So you kissed like this for a moment.
Her eyebrows had scrunched together again at the sight of your own eyes trained on hers, matching desperation. This made you sink even further into her grasp. Finally finding the courage to reach out and grab onto her, you placed your hands on either side of her waist pulling her into you. This new closeness made both of your eyes snap shut. You swam in the feeling of her lips on yours. She was as comforting as the stream that had brought you together.
Ellie was remarkably soft. Images of her once rugged state appeared in your head furthering the intensity you were feeling. How could someone who appeared so tough, be so malleable? So gentle? The curiosity made you whine for more. More and so much more. Her lips belonged on yours. Each slip and slide of your swollen pink lips on each other further ignited what you both thought was long gone. You couldn’t stay silent, moans and whimpers escaping from you left and right. This only made Ellie hold you tighter. Kiss you harder.
She ran her hands to the underside of your exposed thighs until her hands were where she wanted them. Her grip tightened on your skin as she lifted you onto her desk. Painting materials shifted behind you due to your presence. This action caused you to squeal slightly, which drove Ellie mad. She grabbed your waist and brought your clothed core against her own. This new position made Ellie moan into your mouth.
It was a sound that made your whole body become hot. The once soft kiss had turned into a dance for dominance. Your hands traveled from her waist to the back of her mullet due to the new position. You tugged on Ellies hair as if it would bring you closer in her already impossibly tight embrace. This action coaxed another moan out of her mouth against your lips and she broke contact for the first time in what felt like hours. Ellie left her forehead connected with yours and suddenly she was back to her harsh breathing state.
“Shit.” She curses and breaks her gaze on your swollen lips to meet eyes that are already trained on her. “Your driving me crazy” She pecks your lips. “Those pretty fucking noises you make are driving me crazy baby.” Ellie states in that dangerously intoxicating tone. You both breathe harshly. You can still feel her hands on the small of your back underneath your shirt.
A devilish grin forms on your lips which turns into a breathy laugh coming from both parties. She interrupts your laughter with another peck on your lips. and another. and another. You are both still laughing. You cant tell if its because everything was moving so fast or because how good you feel in this moment. Thats a conversation for later.
“You taste-“ Ellie starts in a whisper.
“Like the lake?” You cut her off.
She laughs at your answer and deepens the kiss once more. “Mhhmm” She hums into your mouth. Then pulls away.
“Wait how did you know?”
“Because you taste like the lake.” You moan back pulling her in to kiss you again. She pulls away.
“Shit, is it bad?” She inquires in a concerning voice.
“Do I taste bad?” You ask.
“No, you taste like fresh water and the feeling of outside? Its like oddly addicting.” Shes scratching your back now and it’s making your head spin.
“Good. You dont taste bad either. You taste really good actually.” You say shakily. Your brain has become foggy due to Ellies-well everything. Her smell, her voice, her hands on your body.
“Yeah?” She asks and leans back to observe the effect she has on you. Ellie loves how out of it you are. She needs more.
You nod slowly and hum whilst wrapping your hands around her neck again to pull her head closer to yours. Before she can enclose the space between you, she whispers something against your lips.
“Can I lay you down on my bed pretty baby?” Shes begging you now. Ellie is drunk on your touch and reassurance. You mistake her desperation for confidence at the new nickname for you that leaves her lips. You cant do any thing but whine and wrap yourself around her. Legs surround her waist and arms settled on her broad shoulders. You crane your head against her neck and whisper your response in her ear.
“Please Ellie.” You drag out slowly. She shivers at the feeling of your breath against her neck. Ellie runs her hands over your legs making sure you are securely wrapped around her. Then she grasps your butt to lift you off her cluttered desk. The grip she has on you there sends a shock to your core. You cant help but moan and sink further into the crook of her neck. She chuckles at your sensitivity to her touch. Which only sends you further into bliss. Theres something so tantalizing about the fact that you were falling apart so easily and you had barely been touched. You both could feel it. Ellie holds you close until she reaches her bed and gently places you on her dark green covers.
Almost as soon as you hit the mattress she was on you again. Ellie had one hand on the side of your stomach just above your waist. She had slipped that hand under the shirt you had on and was touching your skin directly. Her other hand was propped in a way that help her upper body stay upright, but her lower half was slotted in between you. You continued making out like this.
The friction of your bodies was becoming more and more intense. The hand that was touching you began exploring your body. From caressing your stomach to your back and down to your butt to pull you closer into her lower half. “So soft.” Ellie barely whispers just loud enough for you to hear.
Your hands had found their way underneath ellies shirt and clawed at her back desperately. You tried to mirror her caresses of you on her back, but her touch and kiss was so overwhelming all you could do was grasp at nothing but skin. Leaving scratches she would sport proudly at a later time.
“Your body feels so good against mine.” She says against your ear making your hips buck up to hers. The slotted position makes your core connect with her thigh. And your thigh to her core. Ellie hissies and grips your hips in that position so you cant move as she rolls her own hips into yours. This action elicits a moan from you both. Foreheads connect as Ellie swears against your mouth. “Fuuuuck.” She continues the movement of her hips in an achingly slow manner. You both cant believe how good it feels and you tell her that you need-
“More. I need more.”
“Yeah?” She moans. This is when Ellie realizes you both are fully clothed. She moves her hands from your hips to your back and sits you both up. You pull back from your closeness to look at her for a moment, wondering what her actions would lead to next.
You take her current state in. Ellie is completely disheveled. She looks so fucked out in-front of you. You blush at the thought that its because of you. The mess of her mullet, the sweat on her temples, her flushed cheeks and glossed puffy lips. All your doing. If she looks this good now you were definitely a goner for whatever she had in store.
Ellie maneuvers herself so she can sit in between your legs. She takes in your spread out position on display for her, then looks at you.
“Im getting hot in these clothes.” She says as her hands move back to their place under your shirt. You exhale at the feeling of her fingers tracing your sides.
“M-Me too.” You whisper.
The heat building in you as she moves her hands up your sides as your top bunches at her wrists the higher they venture up your body. When her hands find their place just below the pits of your arms you lift them above your head and let her remove the damp fabric from your body. Ellie hooks her fingers into your shorts and states-
“Lift your hips baby.” You should’ve known to do this. But you were far too distracted by the way she looked undressing you. That same sort of nervousness from earlier (when she refused to look you in the eye) filled her demeanor. So when she snapped you back to earth with her voice you had to ask her to repeat herself. Instead of vocalizing her needs she took matters into her own hands. Ellie leaned over you and grasped your hips to lift upward. This caused you to fall on your back and gasp as she shimmied your shorts down your legs. When she pulled them off you completely, her hands dragged back up your legs to spread you open and move them back in their position on either side of her. She pulled you closer so that she could move her hands up and down your thighs and take you in for a moment.
Her eyes on you in this position made you grow wet. You have nothing but your swimsuit on now. Which was in a different type of way than what she saw you in earlier. This was 10x more intimate, you feel exposed. Dirty.
You are nearly naked with your legs open due to Ellie putting them there. Now it was your turn to look a mess. Fucked and blushing without even being touched in your leaking center.
Her bottom lip is pushed out into a pout and her head cocked to the side. Ellie sighed deeply like she pitied you. Like you were a toy left at her dispense to play with for as long as she wanted.
The darkness that slowly seeped into her eyes made you embarrassed at your exposed state. You didn’t want her to think you had abandoned all of your composure and willpower. You wanted to surprise her. You brought your hand behind your neck and lifted it slightly so you could untie the swim suit top you had on. As the strings fell apart on either side of your head Ellies breath hitched. Then you lifted your back and pulled the bow placed there loose. You never broke eye contact with her. There was no support on your chest now. This left the swimsuit to act as a mere barrier between your breasts being fully exposed to Ellie. Instead of removing the piece yourself you asked-
“Will you touch me Ellie?”
The way her name exited your lips drove Ellie insane. She let out a shakey breath and brought her hands to your ribcage. Each time her fingers met your skin its like the first. Your stomach flips and the temperature rises in your head fogging your brain. Ellies touch had you reeling. Slowly she raises her hands up your sides until she is grasping your fully exposed chest in her palms. Shes shaking.
“God.” She breaths out.
You cant help but whine at the contact. Instinctively your chest rises with her grasp causing your back to lift off the bed making Ellie bite her lip as her chest rises and falls. She kneads the soft skin and you squirm under her touch. Her hands are impossibly hot against your skin. The sounds coming from you only encouraging her more.
“Fuck baby.” She whispers to herself again. “Look at you.”
She spreads her hands to reveal your perky nipples. Painfully hard from her touch. Shes salivating now. Her mouth remains parted as she inhales harshly, tongue constantly swiping and swirling around her lips to keep from drooling. Ellie runs her thumbs over your sensitive buds, taking you back to moments earlier when she did the same to your lips. The roughness of them still not lost on you, you sigh from her touch.
She playes with you like this until you cant take anymore. With every knead and tug on your breasts, your pussy became more wet. The puddle forming underneath you was not ignored by Ellie. She simply wanted to take her time with you. But you were growing impatient, you needed relief.
“Mmmno more.” You grabbed her wrists to stop her movements. She tried to continue but your grasp was so strong she had no luck. So instead she leaned down to your chest and blew cool air on your right nipple causing you to bite back a moan.
“You all done baby? Cant take anymore?” She continued to blow on your chest. Your whole body shivered. She moved to the left nipple.
“I havent even kissed you here yet…” Her tone had you spinning. She sounded sad. Deprived. Shit.
“Mmmfine. Y-You can keep going. But not for too long, I need you Ellie.” You managed to get out. She gave you a look of affection and relief. Like you gave Ellie her life back. She nodded and reassured you.
“I promise I wont tease you for too much longer, I just want to savor you. You are just sooo pretty baby.”
Your head fell back against the mattress at her words. You have never heard something so intoxicating to your ear drums. Ellie sounding desperate to have you sent you even further into bliss. Then she brought you a new wave of pleasure when her soft lips came in contact with your raw nipples, sensitive and red from her teasing. She sucked the pain of her previous actions away. Ellies tongue swirled around your areolas and flicked across your aching buds. You could no longer stay silent. Your hands flew to Ellies Mullet and scratched at her scalp at her undying progressions on your body. You were a mess of “Ohs and Ahs” urging her to continue as she switched to your neglected breast causing you to go through the motions once more. This went on for what felt like forever, then Ellie finally detached.
“Wait-“ You whined at the loss.
“Shh shh. Im going to take care of you now.” She says against your lips before kissing you again.
You dissolve into her kiss. Its wetter now, the saliva from making a mess of your tits had coated her lips. Everthing had become sloppy. Ellie kissed you as she fumbled out of her boxers and white sleep shirt. Leaving her more exposed than you were, seeing as all you had left to reveal to her was your soaked cunt hidden by your bikini bottoms.
But first you admired her. She was beautiful. Lean and strong. Her frame was small but she somehow had muscle everywhere you looked. The longer you stared the hazier your mind became.
“You’re beautiful.” It comes out of your mouth like a waterfall, so fast you couldn’t stop yourself. You inhale a sharp breath and blush from embarrassment.
“Thank you pretty.” She says in a slight chuckle. When she had enough of the attention on her she began to slot herself against you once more. Bringing together your two hot, now exposed bodies.
“Oh my god.” She breathed.
The feeling on skin to skin contact was a drug. She lay barely ontop of you as you collided. Her exposed cunt was moving and grinding on your thigh messily with no rhythm. Ellie was using your body. Hands exploring each other like it was your job. You were drunk on the feeling of her body on yours. You were jealous at the relief she was getting from you, but it had also sparked something deep inside you. You kissed like this until Ellie had moved her lips to your neck. She sucked there for a moment, making sure to leave a mark. Her hips had lifted as she moved lower down your body. She kissed your collarbones, the valley between your breasts, stomach, belly button. Until she kissed you at the center of your swimming bottoms. Then she moved lower and finally kissed you right on your clothed core ontop of your puffy clit.
“Oh shit” You breathed. You were incredibly sensitive.
She looked up at you from her new spot settled between your legs. Ellie gave u a pleading look. Laced with lust and desperation. She needed to taste you. Now. You gave her a nod of approval and moved to remove your swim bottoms before she stopped you.
“Keep them on.”
There it was again, that tone that drove u crazy. How could you deny her? You wanted to tell her that it wasn’t fair because she was more undressed than you were. But when she sounded like that, and looked like that, between your legs no less…all you could do was nod and watch. Ellie hooked her finger into the side of your suit and tugged them upward creating friction between you and the fabric on your clit. The sensation made u grasp at the comforter underneath you. You tried to hard not to rock your hips, at least not yet. You were sure if you moved any more than what ellie was already doing you would snap. Ellie brought her free hand to her mouth and spat. The sound caused you to twitch. Which she noticed.
“How does this feel baby? Do my fingers feel good? They making u wet baby? Hmm?” It wasn’t a condescending tone. She wanted to make sure you felt good. Really.
Ellie had began to circle her slick digits around your sensitive mound. She would occasionally drag her fingers up and down the sides of your exposed lips. Sending you into a frenzy.
“Y-Yeah…” Your overwhelmed shy tone wasn’t enough to convince her that she should continue.
“Yeah? You sure?” her expression is almost teasing now. Eyebrow raised and grin apparent. You were under her spell.
“Yes! Yes…Feels too good Ellie.” You almost shout. Your voice is tinged with pain and pleasure. The good kind of pain. The you needed release and you needed it now, pain. Finally satisfied with your response Ellie massages you harder, tugs at your swimsuit harsher. The sight of your arched back and agape mouth only made the need to taste the continuous slick pouring out of you unbearable. Ellie needed to take action. Now.
You yelp as Ellie unexpectedly tears your swimsuit down your legs and wets her fingers in your slick. Then she is face to face with your dripping cunt.
“Im gonna kiss you down here now okay? I cant wait anymore…you look too delicious, soo beautiful.” The words ooze out of her perfect mouth.
You sit up to watch as Ellie places a delicate kiss on your clit. You’re shaking now. She repeats this up and down your pussy a few times never breaking eye contact. Each kiss sends you deeper and deeper into the pit of pure euphoria.
“Ohhh fuckk Ellie—.”
You think it cant get any better until Ellie flattens her tongue and begins to lap at the pool of slick pouring out of you. She sinks her tongue into your folds sucking, kissing and licking every surface of your overstimulated core. You are nearly screaming now. You hadn’t even come yet. It was approaching fast, you were trying so desperately to release, you were just so damn hot. Too hot. You pat the soft top of ellies hair and she stops her antics to meet your gaze.
“You dont like it?”
You shake your head harshly and tell her that you’ve never felt so good.
“Whats wrong then baby?” She gives you a look of genuine concern.
“M-Hot Ellie, I feel like im going to pass out.”
Ellie gives u those pitty eyes again and your weak. “Oh babyyy.” You hear her pout. She lays u flat on your back once more and pushes your body to the corner of the bed. At first you question her methods but then remember the savior device that persuaded you to come here in the first place.
Ellie leans over u to halt the rotation function of her fan and dials the speed up to 3. Now cool air is flooding your senses and bringing you back to earth. Ellie finds her position back in between your legs and continues her earlier routine. Instantly your brought back to your breaking point. Something about the heat between your legs and the cool air at your front was driving you insane.
“Better?” Ellie questions as she continues to suck hard on your clit. Already knowing the answer based on the way your body is reacting. You cant even answer you are so consumed in the pleasure of the movement of her fingers and the breeze of the fan. The cool air has made you dumb. Ellie had made you weak. Still, she needed to hear you say it. So she teases her middle finger at your entrance to get an answer out of you.
“I need you to tell me if you feel better pretty girl, or Im going to have to stop.”
That was the last thing you wanted. Your hands left the sheets and found their way to her hair, eyes meeting hers. You hum and whine shaking your head in protest.
“Better Ellie, So much better. Please dont stop.” You almost cry. Its all too much.
“Good girl.” Ellie Coos, then inserts her finger inside of you. With every centimeter entering u deeper and deeper your back arches higher and your mouth falls more open. When shes fully in you, she begins thrusting her long digit in and out curving the tip of her finger prodding where it feels the best.
“Shit your tight.” Ellie spits.
You become limp at her actions and your hands grip her auburn hair tight. You cant help but moan loudly at her actions. The feeling of her inside of you was heaven. Ellie couldn’t take seeing you like this, she had to give you more. So she brought her mouth down to your shaking legs and placed wet kisses on your thighs and all around your pussy until her mouth sucked where you wanted her most. You were a wreck. Exactly how she wanted you. She continued moving her longest digit in and out of you in that curling motion loving the way you clenched around her finger. When she thought you could handle it she detached her lips from your pussy and slipped in another finger.
“I need you to take this finger too baby, it’s going to feel so good okay?” Shes talking you through it like it’s your first time. Obviously you have touched yourself before. Sex wasn’t foreign to you, just rare. But something about this moment made it feel like you were discovering the act all over again, with Ellie as your guide.
This full sensation brought you back to a sitting up position so you could make eye contact as she exited and entered you over and over. It was a filthy sight. Her hair was completely stuck to her head and her mouth formed and ‘o’ shape. Ellies string of curses and moans were borderline pornographic.
“Yeah Hmm? Shit listen to how well your- fuck-fucking taking my fingers in baby.”
She was turned on just by the sight of her effect on you. Ellie was getting off on it. The sounds coming from your cunt drove her mad. She wouldn’t let up, she moved back down to taste you again. You began to move your hips chasing that same need you saw from the girl below you. You could feel the fuse about to blow inside of you as you humped Ellies fingers and face.
“Els Im gonna-“ your voice had reached an impossibly high pitch.
“Please please come for me baby let me taste you.”
Remembering how good the cool air made you feel earlier, she pushed you closer to the edge of the bed until you were almost hanging off. Your body was so close to the fan you could feel the fast blowing air everywhere now. On your nipples, stomach, and even through the hair on top of your pussy. You focus on the feeling of the cool from the fan for a moment to long that u see water. You saw the beloved stream you swam in just today. Your own heaven. You see Ellie. You had reached your climax and you didn’t even know it until you were coming all over Ellies hands and face.
“Shit-Ellie!” The speed of her fingers had doubled. You saw flashes of the creek and you swimming in it. Ellie had made you come so hard you were seeing things.
“Mmhmm baby you’re doing so good. So pretty like this.” She kept you like this until the pitch in your voice had become so high it was silent. Until you were a writhing panting mess chanting Ellies name over and over. Only when your hands loosened their tight grip on her hair did she slow the movement of her fingers inside of you.
Ellie helped you ride your high for a moment before retracting her fingers from you and kissing your swollen cunt one more time.
“You taste amazing.”
She smoothes her hands over your body making you shiver under her touch. She couldn’t help but stare at your fucked out state.
“You are so beautiful.”
You don’t even have words to respond to her compliments. Your sex drunk more than ever and completely non verbal. Instead u hum in acceptance. Which she laughs at.
After moments of admiring you she grabs her discarded boxers and begins to clean you up with them, too lazy to move up from the bed. This was fine to you because while u were nonverbal, you also couldn’t move.
The fan was still on full blast and Ellie craved to share the cool air with you. You had gone completely limp. Exhausted from Ellie having her way with you. So Ellie laid next you and pulled your body against hers. Skin to skin contact making you hum. Your face had gone to that perfect place in her neck. You took in her smell before she turned her head to look at you. Her eyes were lidded and sleepy, but also in awe of your state and her affect on you. She smirked slightly and placed a slow breathy kiss on your lips. When you broke apart your eyes were too heavy to open them again for the night. Ellie took one last look at you before sleep over came her.
“Thank youu, fan.” She whispered before pulling you closer and falling into deep sleep.
Thank god for fans. Thank god for the creek. Thank god for Ellie. (and her fingers) You thought and snuggled into her before dozing off completely.
Maybe this summer won’t be too unbearable.
🌿
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ilovepedro · 7 months
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Yellow | joel miller x f!reader
Summary: You and Joel take a well-deserved vacation to the secluded countryside of Texas. Unbeknownst to you, Joel has a special surprise up his sleeve.
Word count: ~3.7k (oopsies)
Rating: 18+ Minors DNI
Warnings: no outbreak AU (Sarah is alive and well, but she isn’t in this), established relationship, smut like lots of it, oral (f receiving), fingering, unprotected PIV (wrap it up y’all), overstimulation, soft!joel (idc if he’s OOC, i love that big ol’ softie), so much fluff, hella petnames (baby, darlin, babydoll, honey), reader is female, but has no physical description. NO USE OF Y/N
A/N: this is my first time writing any sort of fanfiction with a developed brain lol. i’ve had this idea for a while since Joel’s been rotting my brain for the past year-ish. i'm also a big fan of Pablo Neruda and i was reading some of his poems while listening to my love song playlist so i was feeling sappy lol. this is based on one of my favorite love songs, Yellow by Coldplay. feel free to listen while you read! shoutout to @gracieheartsspedro for your kind words and for giving me the confidence boost to post 🩷 and thank you to all of y’all for being so sweet to me and welcoming me here with open arms <3
star banner by @benkeibear 🌟
Look at the stars
Look how they shine for you
And everything you do
Yeah, they were all yellow
“Dance with me, honey.” The strumming guitar intro to Yellow by Coldplay flutters through the speaker and invades the cool evening breeze as the sun sets. The moon and stars begin to peek through the cotton candy skies. Joel holds his hand out to you as the two of you unwind in the field behind the remote Texas lake house you two are staying at for the week. A long overdue vacation for the both of you, you’ve spent your last full day basking in the refreshing water of the lake, seeking relief from the brutal Texas summer sun.
You gladly take his hand, flashing him a saccharine smile as you intertwine your fingers with his. “Joel Miller, ever the charmer,” you say as he wraps an arm around your waist. He hides his face in the crook of your neck, bashful like a schoolboy. Your stomach flutters as he still manages to give you butterflies after 3 years of being with him. He quietly rasps the lyrics in your ear.
I came along
I wrote a song for you
He lifts his head up to meet your gaze, matching the saccharine look that adorns your face. His heart is so full, so overwhelmed with how much he loves you. You’ve turned him into a sap, but he wouldn’t change a thing. “You’re so damn beautiful, baby. ‘M almost the luckiest man in the world.” You quirk your brow, a curious smirk lacing your features. “Almost?” 
And all the things you do
And it was called Yellow
He twirls you with a smile, eliciting a giggle from you. His chest blooms with warmth - a mixture of bliss and nerves. He twirls you one more time, your head thrown back as you let out a hearty laugh. Suddenly, he’s down on one knee holding the most beautiful ring before he loses his confidence to ask you the most important question of your lives. You turn back to him, a gasp escaping your lungs as tears well in your eyes.
So then I took my turn
Oh what a thing to have done
And it was all yellow
“Almost, darlin’, ‘cause you’ll make me the luckiest man in the world after this. You know me better than anyone, darlin’, so ya know ‘m no good at this type of stuff, but I hope you know that I’ll do anything for you, baby. I didn’t expect to find my other half that day we met. Was just tryna get my coffee and go ‘cause I didn’t wanna be late. But, god, you looked so damn cute in that pretty blue sweater. Most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. So beautiful you distracted me and I spilled my coffee all over ya. ‘M glad I did though, ‘r else I wouldn’t’ve taken ya out to dinner to make it up to you. Ended up bein’ late anyway, but I’d be late everyday if it meant seein’ your pretty lil’ smile. You make me wanna be a better man ‘n I hope ‘m everything you could ever want ‘cause ‘s what you are to me. You're the best partner, best woman, best momma. You’re the best momma to Sarah, honey. Can’t thank ya enough for lovin’ her as your own. You make her, us, me, so goddamn happy, baby. I’d be a damn fool if I didn’t put a ring on your pretty little finger, honey. Shit, ‘m one for not doing this sooner. Thank you for lovin’ me and bein’ so patient with my stubborn ass. I know I ain’t easy to deal with. My knees are killin’ me though, baby, so I got a real important question for you: will you marry me, darlin’?”
Your skin, oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
And you know, you know I love you so
You know I love you so
You’re smiling so hard your face hurts. Tears cascading down your face, which you don’t realize until you taste the salty water on your lips. “Yes, Joel,” you unintentionally whisper, Joel having knocked the air from your lungs. His smile grows wider. He gently slips the ring on your left ring finger. You lean down to kiss him, but he meets you halfway as he goes to stand. He cups your cheeks in his large, warm hands with your hands encompassing his. Pressing a deep kiss to one another’s lips, a kiss full of warmth, life, love - a promise of forever.
“Joel, baby,” you say as you pull away, hands still resting atop his while he delicately holds you. Your voice is wobbly as you’re still silently crying. You’re rendered speechless for the first time in your life. Your heart has never felt this full. You’ve never felt so alive, so complete. “I love you so much. I can’t even put it into words. You’re everything to me and more. I’d be honored to be your wife.” He smiles, tears gleam in his eyes. Joel Miller, the serious, gruff man, is in tears - because of you; a side only reserved for you.
I swam across
I jumped across for you
Oh, what a thing to do
‘Cause you were all yellow
“I meant every word, baby. Every word in that song ‘s true too. ‘S why it’s our song. The stars shine for you, but I think you’re prettier ‘an all the stars in the sky.” He pulls you in for another kiss, just as saccharine as the previous one. You’re both smiling into it. You hum as you pull away. “Baby, what’re you talking about you’re ‘no good at this type of stuff,’ Joel Miller, you’re a poet,” you laugh as you playfully question him. He throws his head back, a belly laugh escaping him. He smiles even bigger as he spots a twinkle in your eye. “Only for you, darlin’.” He moves his hands to your waist again, holding one of your hands in his as he leads you into a dance again. The big, cheesy smiles never leave your faces. Placing your free hand on his shoulder, the two of you sway to the music.
I drew a line, I drew a line for you
Oh, what a thing to do
And it was all yellow
“Forever,” you whisper as you press your nose against his while he sways you both side to side. “Forever,” he repeats. Another kiss is pressed to your lips, a hungrier one, a combination of love and lust. He releases your hand to cup the back of your head while he pulls you in by waist, bringing you closer. You throw your arms around his sturdy middle - the kiss deepens. He licks into your mouth, eliciting a soft moan from you. “Take me to bed, Joel,” you huskily whisper. “Anything for my wife.” You beam at his words. “Not your wife, honey.” “Yet, darlin’. Yet.”
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The moon peeks through the window, casting a cool glow on the entire room. The crisp late night breeze ripples the curtains hanging on the window the two of you mindlessly left open as you devoured one another earlier in the evening.
You stir, groggy as you’re awoken by the familiar dull ache in between your legs. Feeling a heavy, but comforting weight on your torso, you turn gently so as to not wake him. Now facing him,Joel’s arm still holds you flushed against his chest.
It’s the middle of the night, the bedside clock flashes 3:30 in small fluorescent blue lights. Both of you spent, as the events of the day having wiped you two out. He slowly, but deliciously wrecked your cunt twice, once with his mouth and once with his cock, before you both drifted off to sleep. He’s still sleeping. He is so beautiful. I’m so lucky. 
His plush lips slightly parted as he softly snores. His full lashes lightly kiss his cheeks. Brows pulled into his infamous furrow. You carefully brush the curve of his strong nose, which you rode into the midnight hour, with your left hand. The moonlight catches a glimpse of the ring he gave you just hours ago. A delicate gold band adorning a diamond, 2 smaller stones surrounding it.
Your skin, oh yeah, your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
And you know, for you, I’d bleed myself dry
For you, I’d bleed myself dry
Tears well in your eyes as you recall his proposal from the evening. Your heart overflows with content as you admire the man in front of you. You get to fall asleep and wake up like this for the rest of your lives. He is my forever. You softly caress his face, careful not to wake him. Alas, your attempt fails.
Joel begins to stir while you continue to caress his patchy beard as you internally dwell on the thought of being his for eternity. Stretching his taut tan muscles, groaning as he does so. “Ya watchin’ me sleep, babydoll? How long ya been awake?” A sleepy smile creeps onto his face.
 “I’m just admiring my gorgeous fiancé’s face. And not very long, only about 5 minutes,” you sigh. His sleepy smile morphs into a toothy grin. “Oh really? I’m sure he can’t be nearly as gorgeous as mine. She’s the most beautiful woman in the world. Your fiancé is a lucky man, honey.” He leans in to press a sleepy kiss to your lips, the two of you smiling into it. It’s soft and sweet, lingering like honey sticking to your lips.
It’s true
Look how they shine for you
He moves his hand from your torso to the back of your head, grasping your hair, deepening the kiss. He pulls you closer, completely flushed against his bare chest. The dull ache in between your legs blooms with desire, transforming into a throbbing need. You moan as his hardening length presses against your exposed cunt. Neither of you bothered to dress before falling asleep. 
The kiss grows sloppy as he licks into your mouth, teeth clashing together. You break apart gasping for air. “Joel,” you breathlessly moan as he kisses down your neck and shuffles the two of you so you’re pinned under him. He sucks onto that sensitive spot on your neck near your ear. The spot which he knows drives you crazy. 
“Joel,” you moan louder this time. It comes out more desperate than you intended. “Be a good girl and use your words, baby.” He’s so fucking smug, he drives you insane. “Need you, baby. N-need you so bad, Joel,” you gasp as he makes his way down to your breasts. 
He hums, sucking a nipple into your mouth as he gropes your other breast, rolling your nipple in between his calloused fingers. “F-fuck, baby. Feels, ah, s-so good,” you say as you arch your back, granting him even more access to your breasts. He moans at your praise, the vibration of it sending shockwaves down your spine to your weeping cunt. Kissing his way down your tummy and finally making his way to where you need him most. Your exposed cunt aches for him to do something - anything. 
He hooks both your legs over his shoulders as he kneels off the edge of the bed. He presses soft kisses and nips to your thighs, actively avoiding your throbbing clit. His scruffy beard scratches your thighs, causing more arousal to pool at your sex. Every teasing kiss causes your clit to twitch. He sees it, you know he can, but he continues to act oblivious. You writhe under his touch, growing frustrated as your body yearns for some sort of relief.
“Joel, please, n-no more teas - hmph - teasing” you whine, clearly exasperated. He chuckles at your neediness. “So needy, babydoll. Already fucked your cunt twice last night ‘n you still want more?” “Yes, Joel,” you beg, desperate tears begin to pool in your eyes. “Always want more. Always want you,” you cry out. You quickly see something soften in his eyes, but it disappears just as fast. “Always want you too, darlin’. Don’t worry. I’ll take care of ya. Always do, don’t I?” 
Before you could answer, he licks a stripe up your folds, his nose nudging at your clit. Gasping at the relief of finally feeling something, you involuntarily buck your hips up into his face. He places one of his large hands and pushes you back down, the pressure on your stomach causing a new pool of desire to drip from your pussy. You can’t control the moans leaving your lips as he flicks his tongue against your twitching clit. “Joel, f-fuck oh my god, Joel,” you cry out, tugging on his hair. 
Your hair tugging elicits a moan from him, the rumble of it causing you to shiver. He eats you out like a starved man, as if he wasn’t doing this just barely 4 hours ago. “Joel, n-need more. P-please, baby.” Obliging your request, he inserts one finger deep inside your pussy, drawing out a high pitched moan from you. He could always reach places you never could, his fingers much larger and thicker than yours. 
“Sweetest fuckin’ pussy in the world, baby. My favorite meal,” he says as he inserts another finger into you. Another mewl escapes your lips. He returns his tongue to your clit, relentlessly flicking it. He feels your walls begin to flutter around his fingers as he curls his fingers, hitting your g-spot.
“Right there, Joel! Oh, f-fuck yes, baby.” It sounds obscene as he slurps up your slick while pumping his thick fingers deep into your squelching pussy. You feel light as a feather as your orgasm approaches. “‘s it, baby. Cum for me. Can feel ya squeezing my fingers. Come on, babydoll. Make a mess on my fingers.” He sucks your clit into his mouth causing your orgasm to crash into you. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as you seize up under his hold, endless moans streaming from your lips.
Lapping at your pussy, he drinks up all of your cum, letting no drop go to waste. He pulls away, giving you a brief moment of relief. The pale moonlight shines onto him, as if he were some sort of deity from above. He is - he is your saving grace.
He pulls himself up and slots his hips between yours. He teases your wet folds by rubbing his hard, pulsating cock up and down against them, slathering himself in the fresh new wave of slick that runs down your weeping cunt. Pre-cum dribbles from his angry, red tip, smearing over your folds. Without warning, he shoves his cock deep into your pussy in one thrust, buried to the hilt.
“Oh fuck Joel! S-so fucking big, so, shit, so deep.” “You can take it, baby. Ya always do.” His pace is brutal, his thick cock brutally kissing your cervix with each thrust. He hikes your legs up, placing your ankles on his shoulders, practically bending you in half. You scream at the new position. You’re so loud, you’re thankful there are no neighbors around here. He’s always so deliciously deep, you’ll never get used to it.
He picks up the pace, your thighs begin to burn and your cunt still aches from being stuffed repeatedly. The line between pain and pleasure blurs, but you feel so damn good. Tears begin to fall from your eyes as you clamp down on him. The pornographic sounds of moans, pants, and your squelching cunt fill the room. You’re already so close as you had no time to come down from your first orgasm.
“Fuck, darlin’. Ya hear that? Hear how fuckin’ wet ya are for me? Feel so fuckin’ good. Can’t believe I get to have this tight little pussy for the rest of my life. ‘S mine. All mine. Can’t wait til, ah, til you’re my pretty little wife.” He groans, as you clench around him. His words spurring you on. “‘S yours, Joel. ‘M yours, all yours, baby,” you manage to slur out. He’s close, you can tell as his thrusts get sloppier. “Come on, baby, gimme another. Need to feel you soak my cock.” 
He licks the pad of his thumb and swirls it on your clit. You tumble over the cliff and plummet into your second orgasm. His cock, his fingers, his words, him. It’s all too much. You feel him everywhere. Your vision flashes hot white. The burning coil in your belly snaps as you come undone. A guttural moan escapes from deep within your chest. “Oh fuck, Joel! I’m gonna, ah, ‘m cumming,” you squeal from under him with your eyes rolling back again. You’re cumming again, hard, soaking his cock just like he asked. “Atta girl, baby. Good girl,” he rasps as he fucks you through the waves of your second orgasm. You’re squeezing him so tight you nearly push him out. 
His pace is still relentless, not giving you time to come down from your second high. Suddenly, you’re being flipped around as Joel rolls you over him. He lays on his back with you now on top. The new angle has him even deeper than before, if that’s even possible. His cock immediately hits your g-spot again. A choked cry falls from your lips while you try to brace yourself on his broad, sturdy chest.
“‘M close, baby. Fuck, ya feel so fuckin’ good. Cum for me one more time, baby.” His breath is ragged now. You’re a babbling mess as he continues to fuck up into you. “I got you, baby. Just gimme one more. Come on, be a good girl and gimme one last one, babydoll.” He’s fucking up into you hard and fast, his thrusts growing sloppier than ever as he nears his orgasm. 
“Baby, I-I can’t,” you hiccup. “Yes, ya can, darlin’. You’re so close, can feel ya clenching ‘round me again. Let go, baby. I got you.” He sits up and pulls you closer, you’re completely flushed against his strong chest now. He wipes your stray tears, his tenderness sends you crashing into your third and final orgasm - one more orgasm than last night. He’s so rough, but so gentle with you at the same time.
A drawn out high-pitched moan escapes you once again, eyes squeezed shut while mewling his name as you clench around him. “Fuck, Joel!” Your soul disappears from your body, floating around somewhere along with your brain. Joel, Joel, Joel being the only thought in your head as his name repeatedly streams from your lips - like a prayer.
He grunts and fucks up into you with three more thrusts before he comes undone. A loud, guttural moan escapes from his lips. He’s babbling as he’s shooting his load into you. “Fuck! ‘S it, honey! Take it, baby, take it! Good girl, shit, fuck, Jesus Christ!” You feel his cum coat your walls as he fills you up. There’s so much cum, it’s dripping from your swollen, wrecked cunt. Joel buries his face in the crook of your neck as you both pant, grappling with reality as you both come down from your highs.
He places tender kisses on your shoulder. Both of you are sticky with salty sweat, the periwinkle moonlight beaming into the room now. You feel a soft kiss brush against your cheek, causing your eyes to flutter open. 
“Hi,” he huskily whispers with a gentle smile. “Hi,” you say with a bashful grin, biting your bottom lip while you return back down to Earth. Staring at each other with the same hazy, fucked out gaze, he crashes his lips to yours, lazily kissing you. You taste yourself on his tongue as he languidly slips it into your mouth.
He sighs as you part to lift yourself off him, both of you hissing at the loss of one another. Worry laces his features as you settle on the bed beside him, laying down on his chest. His rapid heartbeat slowly returning to a steady thrum, grounding you back in the present. “You feel okay, baby? Didn’t hurt you, did I?” How on Earth you got so lucky, you’ll never know. 
Your gaze softens once more, reaching out to caress his cheek. “I feel absolutely amazing, Joel. You could never hurt me, baby.” He gingerly kisses your palm. Steady breathing and comfortable silence fill the air - postcoital bliss settling amongst you two.
He toys with the ring on your finger as his strong arm rests on your torso, engrossing you in his embrace. “You’re gonna be my wife,” he says as he smiles at you, disbelief and contentment lacing his voice. Love filling his eyes to the brim, just like his heart. Tears well in your eyes once more as you fully drink him in. You’re so full of love and happiness, there is nowhere else for your emotions to go except flowing down your cheeks. Something that happens often as you feel things deeply within your heart. It’s one of the things he loves most about you. “Jus’ means you got lots ‘a love to give in that big ol’ heart ‘a yours, baby,” he once told you.
“I am. There’s nothing more I want in this world than to be your wife.” And that’s the real honest truth. Joel Miller loves hard - particularly you. His tenderness is only reserved for you and Sarah - his girls. You never expected to fall just as hard for him. You only ever heard of this type of love in romance novels; only dreamt of it. Somehow, he managed to tumble his way into your heart that day, literally, when he spilled his coffee on you that fateful morning. Before him, you never fathomed the thought of experiencing a love like this.
He has served you the world and more on a silver platter. His love is the warm sunshine that envelopes you on a beautiful spring day. It is the forest fire that roars higher when you fan the flames, engulfing you in his heart. Joel Miller is the color yellow, his love burning brighter than the stars in the sky. As you love him hard, he loves you harder. To be loved by him for eternity is the greatest gift anyone could ever receive. As long as you live, his love will never die, for you carry it in your heart, everywhere you go.
Look at the stars
Look how they shine for you
And all the things that you do
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some moot tags: @nostalxgic @undrthelights @darkroastjoel @pedrospartner @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @modernperplexity @mrsquill @breakfastatjoels @tinygarbage @sin-djarin @jenispunk 🩵
this was so fun to write! got a little sappy at the end, i told y’all i was in my feelings when i wrote this 🤣 i truly do love writing, i just get very in my head about everything. may or may not already be working on a meet-cute prequel for these two 🫣 hope y’all enjoyed this and thank y’all for reading! <3
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The Bakesale
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pairing: pre-outbreak!joel miller x f!reader (Elementary-verse)
rating: E (18+ ONLY, oral (f rec), unprotected piv, slight dirty talk, these two being in looooooooove)
wc: 2.1k
a/n: this is based on an anon request i got ages ago but can no longer find :( so i hope this finds you, anon!! 🫶🏼 also, for context, this drabble takes place between chapter six and seven :)
series masterlist | joel masterlist
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“Sorry ‘bout this,” Joel apologized as he carried grocery bags filled with baking supplies into your kitchen. “Our oven’s been actin’ finicky, and I’m not sure what the hell I’m doin’—“
“You’re fine, Joel,” you said, placing a hand on his arm as he stood beside you at your kitchen island.
Things were still new between the two of you, both of you still frantic to impress the other, or at the very least not inconvenience them, but it truly was no inconvenience for Joel to come over and use your oven and advice, especially when it was for his daughter’s soccer team’s bake-sale.
“Still,” he said. “Thanks, baby.”
You felt a girlish smirk growing in your face at his casual use of the endearment, your ears not yet accustomed to hearing such a pretty thing.
“You’re welcome,” you replied, still smiling that bashful smile as you started to unpack the grocery bags. “So what are we making?”
“Sarah got assigned brownies,” he said. “Got my mom’s recipe.”
You continued unpacking the supplies while he pulled a piece of scrap paper with a scribbled list and instructions on it.
“You can read that?” you teased, laughing at your own question.
“Yes,” he replied, dry and unimpressed. “You got a problem with my handwriting?”
“If you were my student, I would,” you said, smirking at the smile that was growing on his face. “But seeing as you’re not, I guess it’s fine.”
“I can read it, that’s all that matters,” he replied, his tone thick with attitude. You laughed and nodded in agreement, reaching your hand out to rub his back in soothing circles.
“Alright, let’s get started?” you asked, turning your head to look up at him as you stood beside him, finding him already staring. “On second thought, I don’t remember you giving me a proper greeting when you walked in.”
“You’re right,” he nodded, his voice low as his eyes flickered to your lips. “Not too late?”
You smiled as you pulled him down to your lips, letting your hands rest on the side of his neck and jaw, relishing in the scratch of his beard against your fingertips. Joel’s arms were wrapped tight around your waist, hugging you close as he kissed you like a man returning to his wife after being lost at sea.
You could feel his love deep into your bones, right down into the marrow, and could feel the tenderness of his heart softening your own with each passing second here in his arms. You hoped this never faded, that the picture in your mind of the two of you sitting on some porch swing, old and grey, watching your children’s children playing in the yard would actually become reality.
“Mm,” he hummed, pecking your lips once more for good measure before pulling away. “I gotta stop before I get carried away.”
“I might like you getting carried away,” you said, giving him a mischievous smile. Joel chuckled and wiped his hand over his face before shaking his head.
“No, we gotta stay focused,” he managed through a sigh. “I only got until four until Sarah’s supposed to be picked up from Jessie’s.”
“Well, maybe if we start now, we’ll have some time left over for—“
“Alright, so I think we’re supposed to preheat the oven.”
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The brownies were made and cooling on the counter with an hour to spare, giving you and Joel the perfect chance for some fun while you waited for four o’clock to roll around. Both sets of clothes were shed in a trail leading to your bedroom, giggles echoing off the walls as Joel practically threw your naked form onto the mattress with a grin.
“Made it to the bed this time,” he said, crawling onto the bed to join you.
“I would’ve let you fuck me on the kitchen floor,” you said, lightly scratching his scalp at the nape of his neck.
“Is that right?” He grinned, nudging your cheek with his lips as he kissed his way down to your pulse.
“Mmhm,” you hummed. Your smile faded as his lips trailed down to your sensitive peaks, your fingers in his hair clenching to hold him there. Joel returned your eagerness with a groan before pressing his hips into yours to let you feel his need for you. “Shit, baby.”
“You want it?” he asked, lifting his head up to meet your eyes. You nodded at him eagerly, the sight of his hair tousled from your hands, his eyes blackened with desire, his cheeks pink from excitement. “Can I taste you first, baby? All this bakin’ has me starvin’ for somethin’ sweet.”
“Fuck,” you sighed, letting your head fall back against the pillows as he kissed his way down your stomach, the sight too much for you to take. “Yes…please.”
“Please, what, baby?” he drawled, gripping the back of your thighs to press them up towards the mattress.
“Please taste me,” you moaned, meeting his dark eyes again. Joel smiled and nodded at you before bringing a finger up to your swollen bud, circling it a few times just to watch your eyebrows lace together before lowering it down to your entrance to gather your slick for a taste.
“Goddamn, you’re sweet,” he groaned, sucking his finger clean before lowering his mouth to your clit, kissing it softly.
Your head fell back against the pillow as his kisses turned into sucks that turned into beautiful swirls of his tongue, all of it building you up slowly and gently, like he had all the time in the world.
“Fuck, you’re so good,” you moaned, tightening your grasp on his hair when he found the perfect rhythm. “Fuck, don’t stop. Please—just like that.”
“I got ya,” he mumbled against you in between licks.
“Joel—“
“Come on,” he urged.
“Fingers,” you demanded. Joel lifted two thick fingers to your clit, swirling over it to gather some slick on them before sliding them down to your cunt and pressing in slowly. When he started to curl upwards while he continued working you with his mouth, you felt electricity shoot down your limbs before a white-hot, blinding pleasure washed over you. “S-shit!”
“There you go,” he cooed, sitting back to watch as his fingers drew your orgasm out until you couldn’t take it anymore and reached for his wrist.
“Come here,” you begged, pulling at his arm. Joel crawled back up to hover over your still-shaking form, his hand resting over the side of your face, warming you up like only he could. “I’d say you could do that for a living, but I’m not sure I want to share.”
“That good, huh?” he asked, clearly proud of his work.
“You know what’s even better?” You quirked a brow at him as you reached between your bodies to wrap your hand around his girth, gliding it over your sensitive bud and down to your entrance. Joel looked pained as he pressed into your heat slowly, holding your eye contact the entire time.
“Fuck,” he sighed when he bottomed out inside you. “So goddamn good.”
Your eyes rolled back as he drew himself out only to push back inside punishingly slow, allowing you to feel every single inch of him. Joel seemed just as wrecked by the pleasure as you, his head falling forward to rest against your shoulder as he picked up his pace just the slightest.
“God, baby,” he groaned as your nails scratched down his back to rest on his hips, pulling him even closer. “Ain’t gonna last.”
“I wanna feel it,” you whispered into his ear, earning another strangled moan and a lovebite on your shoulder. “Let me feel you cum inside me, baby.”
“Jesus.” He sat back on his heels and positioned your legs to rest over his shoulders before he leaned forward again to pound into you deeper than he was before. You wanted to sob at the accuracy of each of his thrusts against that spot inside, but couldn’t manage a sound with the way he had you folded in half beneath him. Your hands clawed at the sheets for purchase as his thrusts grew brutal, each one bringing you nearer and nearer to your end. “Come on, baby. Gimme one more and I’ll let you feel it.”
“Fuck—“ You could feel yourself slipping into euphoria again, your mind going hazy as every good nerve inside you lit up. “Joel, fuck.”
“That’s it,” he praised, smiling down at you, though you missed it with the way your eyes were screwed shut. “You ready for me, baby?”
“Please,” you begged.
“Fuck,” Joel’s hips slowed to a stop, burying his entire length inside of you as he reached his high with a wrecked moan. Collapsing onto your chest, you felt your heartbeats race together as you both came down from the heights of your bliss in comfortable silence.
“Mm,” you hummed, turning your head to the nightstand to look at the clock. “And with twenty minutes to spare.”
Joel chuckled and lifted his cheek off your sternum, kissing it sweetly before sitting upright. You smiled widely at the state of him in all his wrecked glory as he wiped his brow and caught his breath.
“You and Sarah wanna come over for dinner tonight?” you asked, drawing his eyes to yours.
“I gotta ask first, but I think that sounds nice,” he said, grinning as his eyes seemed to admire your own disheveled appearance. “God, you look good like this.”
“Because I’m naked?” you asked with a teasing tone.
“That’s a part of it, I’m sure,” he chuckled. “But I just like seein’ you like this. You look like one of those Renaissance paintin’s or somethin’.”
“A painting?” you laughed. “Am I a sexy painting at least?”
“The sexiest,” he replied. “Now’s your turn to say somethin’ sweet to me.”
“Oh, is that how this works?” Joel nodded like a child. You smirked at him as your eyes trailed down his sweaty neck, the neck you daydreamed about kissing every single day since you met him, to his broad, lightly freckled, golden chest with just the tiniest bit of hair on it. His stomach had you licking your lips, the muscle behind the softness of his tummy making an appearance after his show of athleticism. When you reached the patch of hair above his length that was still buried inside of you, you shook your head and tutted at him.
“Joel, you are the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen,” you said, lifting your eyes back up to meet his. “You’re going to think I’m joking, but after you…I really think I’m ruined for all men.”
Joel laughed, tipping his head back before meeting your eyes again, his hand smoothing your and down your thigh.
“Well, I plan on keepin’ you all to myself, so I don’t think you gotta worry ‘bout any other men.”
“Is that right?” you asked, smirking as you accepted his body on top of yours again, your arms wrapping around his shoulders to hug him tight. “Glad we got that settled.”
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The day of the bake sale arrived, and since Sarah had invited you to her game that went on simultaneously, you found yourself standing beside Joel and playing salesman at his plastic table set-up.
“Your mom’s recipe is popular,” you noted as you grabbed another empty pan from the table, setting it on the cooler filled with soda and water (and a beer or two hidden at the bottom) that Tommy brought.
“You haven’t gotten a piece?” he asked, sounding almost appalled. Reached for the last remaining tray full of brownies, he picked one up and handed it to you. “Here.”
“No,” you chuckled. “I don’t have any cash on me.”
He tilted his head and gave you a flat, unimpressed look. “You did all the damn bakin’, you deserve a piece.”
You finally accepted the brownie from his fingers and unwrapped it before ripping the corner off and taking a bite. Joel’s thumb lifted to the corner of your bottom lip, wiping a bit of chocolate off and sucking his finger clean with a wink.
“How was it?” he asked, smirking cheekily at you as you tried to play off your fluster. With a smirk of your own, you tore off another piece and lifted it to his mouth.
“I can confidently say…it’s the best I ever had.”
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cherubispunk · 5 months
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CHERUB (PART II) - Dealer!Joel Miller x AFAB!Reader
summary: you will forever be his fallen angel. his cherub. 
a note from Lucy: IT IS TIME! Now, I KNOWWWW i said that there woud be dp with tommy in part two...but that can wait until part three because this is just as disgusting as the last one hehehehe! Enjoy sinners, i'm off to bed. This is also unedited to just ignore any typos. I promise I’ll get round to reading it through later today. X
playlist | alternate banner by THE cherub @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin
wc: 4088 Warnings: 18+ MDNI! DARK CONTENT! Unedited for now, no outbreak, no use of y/n but joel calls the reader ‘Cherub’, porn with little plot, bombastic age gap (reader is in her early 20's and Joel is in his late 50s), Smut, car sex, very dubcon in theory but both parties want it, smut, P in V sex (unprotected — pleaseee don’t do tis irl), oral - m reeiving, handjobs, Creampie, choking, orgasm denial, slapping, dom!Joel:/sub!reader dynamic, gagging , mentions of gagging with panties, panty sniffing, nipple play, biting, Smoking, use of pet names (baby, cherub, angel, good girl...etc), Joel being foul mouthed, cursing, dirty talk. Again, some of the most animalistic, disgustingly wretched and vile porn I have written thus far...with so little plot that this earned me my place in hell, a circle lower than the last. Big Dick Joel Miller comes as his own warning.
series m.list | m.list
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Lace. Pretty. Delicate and intricate. 
Torn and tossed to grimy carpet. His trailer, his bed. Laying in his large warm arms for no more than a brief moment of afterglow. Then observed by his hawk eye while you were strewn naked about his sheets in a divine headrush of oxytocin, endorphins. And numb to all but the ghostly ache of pleasure within your belly.  
Truth can be ugly. It can beat and maim even the strongest of heart and half of soul. It can dampen spirits, bash, batter and bruise a hope so bright to such a degree it is nothing but a mere flickering flame, awaiting its snuffing out from a final exhale of a familiar broken heart. It can go pummeling, plundering and pillaging a love you held so tightly to your chest, that once was so dear to one’s self, the mere idea of letting it slip through your fingers would bring on an agonising loneliness even death's pain could not compete or match with. 
One night later was your time to face truth, the world fell dark again. The rain had subsided back to choking heat, summer’s final scorch before biting winter rolled in, icy and frostbitten on its heels. You were catatonic in bed from that day forward. Contemplated the end of it all. Then got up for work again when the sun peeked over aluminium trailer rooftops. All of this…just come back to your own bed again. 
You belong to the ground now. Your purple knees might as well be caked in dirt. Each of your hairs stood on end in protest to your shivers, vexatious and unforgiving. And choked sobs suffocated you, face red, raw, puffy and salty. Everything seemed to hurt. The sound of humanity seemed so far away from you now. Even the crackling of TV static in the next room over. Nothing felt quite real. It was just…dull. Exhaustion ached in your bones, sinking in deeper - bone marrow level deeper - after twenty-four hours of little to no rest. You bit down on your bottom lip and scrunched your eyes closed as your fingers and toes curled in and you writhed in emotional pain inside yourself. Physically you were still. A weight had pressed itself into your chest, digging at you and carving a hole through your sternum. Your teeth were now gritted as you let out strained whimpers muffled by the pillow. Desperate for some form of relief, you were clasping at your upper arms, clawing your flesh until red lines rose
No one knew. No one could know. they did not have to carry the idea that someone, who roamed the halls of your mind peacefully, passively, vacantly, now rampaged through those same corridors with an iron fist and a burning torch, setting you alight, leaving breadcrumb trails for ravens to pick at and fragments such as that of sharp, cutting mirror glass for you to piece together with no map or original picture but your own memory. You tumbled, spiralling into a world of ‘was it this?’ or ‘was it that?’. And the line between each question soon grew thinner, smearing together like streaks of sunlight smudging in tears. 
It was a slow roll of a shift. No one but the regulars on a quiet Monday morning. The bikers who stop for coffee. The business man here for the Bessy's Diner ‘premium’ breakfast before his day starts. Greasy and warm but with the crispy potatoes. Eggs sunny side up on two slices of golden brown white bloomer bread. The smell stuck in your hair. 
You watched through the window as the world turned dark under bruising night sky. His name on your tongue at the back of your teeth. His handprint on your thigh under your yellow polyester skirt. It was the branding of him on you in the most achingly beautiful way you could imagine. You might not be bent in half any more but in your mind you are replaying each thrust that edged you over the side of harrowing oblivion. You were in his bed. Right there. You could almost feel him.
The ding of the pass bell made you blink once, twice, thrice, with a sharp inhale through your nose while you tuned in a daze to collect a cheeseburger and curly fries. You weren't much to look at by your standards – grease stains on your uniform, scuffed shoes and bruised knees; But the man you delivered the meal too had you for his appetiser. Eyeing you like a juicy cut of rump steak, plump and tender to sink one's teeth into. Your nostrils flared and you couldn't help but wonder what Joel would think of his roaming eyes as you gave the trucker a curt but saccharine ‘Enjoy!’ through gritted teeth. 
Then it was back to staring out the window while more coffee brewed and the sky sunk deep blue, a rim of purple at the horizon. Like it had been beaten and left by the sun. Clouds murking the sky above like dried blots of ink. A heavy downpour to come and you hadn't bought your coat or umbrella. Headlights beamed through the window in the blue, sailing over your eyes and the wall behind you, making you strain and squint at the familiar number plate. 
That very truck had been parked in the middle of your trailer and his. Taunted you now whenever you saw it. Reminded you that he had not come calling since a few nights ago. How long was it now? A week of no contact that made you claw at your skin and the marrow of your very bones ache with the pain as they hollowed out. Waiting for him to fill that place in you again with a sense of being needed. The place only he knew how to reach. It was pathetic and you knew it. But, oh, how you'd fall to your knees in the dirt each time to just see him. To have him call you Cherub. It felt like a dream no one would get to see or feel but you and him. A secret whisper of delight that had a pending knot of tension tighten and twist in your gut. Then a flutter when his truck door opened to reveal him in his usual wife beater tank and dirty denim combo. This time a leather jacket straining over his broad shoulders. Your mouth watered at the sight of his bulge. How, when he stood with the devils own smirk at the sight of you through the window, arm slung over the top of the drivers door, the tank rode up to give a tease of happy trail on his softer tummy. He was a man who could ruin you with a look; Have you pleading to be his anything. 
He licked his lips at the promise of his meal. You. All you could do was stand with feet planted firmly to the floor in your frilly hemmed socks and patent mary janes. His picture of innocence dressed in a ditsy diner uniform. His eyes were dark and lit only by the inside glow. They snared you in ways you often found hard to elucidate to yourself. But you'd be a liar if you refused to admit the excitement your gaze held his with. The beaming toothy grin you shone at him as he walked through the entrance. A chilly gust of wind hot on his chunky book clad heels. 
“Be right with ya!” You called to him as you took the coffee from its hotplate, unable to keep yourself from smiling. He was here. You would once again be his. Whole. 
A girl could dream. Oh she can dream up to the clouds and pass the very sun. But, lord above, how calamity hits like a stone to a dove’s wing. Causing the fall to earth and the fire to consume. This time, Icarus waited for the night. Who knew Selene would give the same backhand as Apollo.
“No need.” He cleared his throat, ambling over in his swagger to slump over the counter against the bar stool. “Lookin’ awful happy, Cherub.” There it was. It had your eyes glazing over in a haze. The first man who gave you a reason. An ability to serve and care and be wanted. “Just happy ‘cause I'm seein’ you.” You sighed. His arms crossed over themselves on the counter and there was Lucifers smile to lull you closer.
“That so?”
You nodded eagerly. “Yeah.” It was ineffable to explain, really. The temptation. But it was so damn perfect you couldn't get enough of it.
“What time you get off then, Cherub?”
“Ten.” You replied instantly. A heat warmed your core. A fizzle of something, a cramping of a dull pleasure spasm in your belly. From there he leaned over, breath tickling your ear as his scuff scratched the shell of it. Made your pulse thrum under your skin. He could feel your supple warmth, noticed how your pretty round chest hitched at the feel of his words in your ear. He ogled you like a hunter would his prey. His next feast.
“Y’think you can help me get off?” 
If you had it your way you’d trace each scar, pale of almost rare silver, raised upon his skin. Gnarled. But so unmistakably beautiful it takes your breath away for a moment. Born again, the first breath you take. Learning how to inhale, familiarise yourself with how his chest rises, to then fall with tumble of the exhale. But this was on his terms. It would do. Ideally you'd do it your way. However, he wanted what he wanted. He took. You had so much more to give him if you were just gifted the miracle of opportunity. Jeopardising this love now would be a foolish idea. 
“Yes, Joel.” You whispered, though it caught in your throat a little. Joel pulled back to eye you. Chuckling at the sight of your open wide doe eyes. A pretty helpless fawn for him to scrape off the road after being crushed by a truck. Or a bird whose wings needed patching. Little did you know he wasn't mending your wings. Merely plucking feathers from them until you could no longer glide through skies. Only be dragged by him across the ground on a leash. Rubbing flesh raw to the point of bleeding.
“Then i’ll be waitin’ here for ya, Cherub.” 
He had his eyes on you the whole time. In his stare you saw each scene of what could be play out. What position he'd fix you in before the descent of his hips into yours. The slap of heavy balls against your ass. The ripple of your skin while a hand clapped down on one cheek, then the other. Rendering you useless for the rest of the night. Unable to walk without legs trembling. Poor pretty Bambi. Poor precious Cherub. 
You could feel the heat of his eyes lick up the back of your neck. Flushing bright colour into the apples of your cheeks. Each time you passed him, a silent glance from you. A primal, phallic stare from him. Cogs in his mind turning to see what scenario would take his fancy. The look from other customers didn't fall short on his attention. He noticed the way that trucker had eyed you upon giving him the bill. Jealousy curled in his gut because how dare another man so much as think about touching what is rightfully his. What you were so eager to please with. The plush of your breasts, the encompassing warmth of your slick wet cunt. Joel would remember that when you stumble home, his come dribbling down your leg in a thick, gluttonous rivulet. You, so ready to flay yourself open at his word and present all to him. Your broken ribs and beating heart. The blood that bled in vain for him. 
At the end of your shift he waited while you got you things from out back, taking out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. Thick fingers plucking one ready to light. 
“Can't smoke in here, Joel.” You pointed out as his lighter hissed under the roll of his thumb.
“Then hurry up ‘n let me get you outta here, Cherub.” He mumbled, eyes trained on the cigarette between his lips. You admired how the yellow hue of the lighter washed him a glow in brief flashes. The scruff on his jaw lighter. Greyer. Handsomer. 
“Okay.” 
He led you out with a hand to your back. Hoisted your bike into the bed of his truck and you had to hold your breath at the swell of his muscles under his leather jacket. Its dark shine scuffed and worn down. 
He drove you back downtown with the cigarette lit in his mouth to puff on, a hand on your clenching thigh, inching closer up to dangerous territory. He felt how you squirmed inside yourself. As if your bones were begging to be rattled by him. Until the highway bled off into smaller roads towards the trailer park where he opened the window to flick his smoke out and then shut it. You weren’t expecting him to pull over in a lay-by. The trees skeletal as leaves had started to fall here. 
The engine sputtered before shutting off with the twist of the key. You found yourself staring at your skirt, picking a loose thread from the hem of it before his finger hooked under your chin. Just like the first time. Still smelling of tobacco and something mustier. Something human. It was hard to see in the dark, but his shadow said it all. It was carved out by the backdrop of trees outside the window. It made a rattling burst of desire dart down your spine and fill the hollow slowburn in your womb. 
“Look at me.” So you did. And his finger grasped your chin, almost embedding his touch into your with trembling tingle were he to ever let go. Like a solder’s phantom limb.
“What are we doing here, Joel?” You asked, eyes innocent. Begging to be corrupted and crying. 
“Gettin’ me off, Cherub.”
His lips crushed yours like seeds of pomegranate. Chapped and split. The metallic taste of his blood on your tongue. Your lungs breathed him, absorbed him. What noise he gave you, nonsensical as it was, it was a relief there was something. Something you could do. Part your thighs.
While one hand stayed fastened to your chin in its vice grip, his other palmed himself through his jeans. Hips rolling into the heel of his hand and a groan departed from his chest heavily. One you happily consumed with a needy inhale. Desperate to feel something of him inside you. 
“Gonna make me feel good, ain’t you, Cherub? My pretty little thing.” 
It was hard to nod in his grip. But you managed with the aiding of a whimpering “Mhm!”
“‘M gonna let you feel it.”
The bulge in his jeans was straining at denim and suffocating him. You felt blindly for his erection, fumbling with the belt, button and zipper. Joel smirked into your mouth while his tongue trialled sloppily over your bottom lip, enclosing it between the prison of his gnashers. Biting down hard. The friction of his beard was coarse against the dichotomy of your soft, supple skin. 
“Yeah.” He sighed, leaning back in the passenger seat, detaching his lips from you. “Jus’ like that.” You swallowed. Aching to feel him. To have him as a part of you again. But for now you'd settle with the steady dragging stroke of his thick heavy cock in your hand. 
You watched him with curiosity, the way his eyes fluttered closed. It was more the way a child would observe a butterfly trapped in a jar. Even though he was anything but delicate. 
“Fuckin’ angel aint ya, Cherub?” He swallowed, hips twitching and bucking up into your hand while your thumb rolled over the sensitive head of his dick, smearing a bead of precum over the delicate flushed skin. You salivated like a rabid dog at the sight. The smell of his sex thick on your nose. 
You felt the curl of this large hand at the crown of your skull before he pushed you down. Pulling you with him to hell’s heat once more. 
“Suck it.” 
And you did willingly; Took him into the warm cavern of your mouth, swirling your tongue over the flushed red tip to have the heady taste of him thick on your tastebuds. His hips stuttered, meaning you had to hollow out your mouth and relax your throat to take him as far as he wanted. The ache in your oesophagus burned, bruising deliciously. Tears stung the backs of your eyes, heavy and wet and dripping over the threshold of your eyes, streaking clumpy mascara down your face like an abstract painting for him to smirk at later. His fingers twisted in your hair like brambles through hedgerows. His hands were being laid on you. More like beckoning you closer to being laid to rest in the dirt. Ready for that little death his anatomy promised. The lust between you heated the car, fogging windows slightly. 
As you went a little further, and little faster, nails digging into his jeans to ground yourself, you realised you’d never rather be anywhere than with him. Saliva running from your mouth down his shaft, collecting in a shine around the base and rolling over his tightening balls. He chuckled when you gagged, spluttering and heaving on him. Begging for more, you dared to ghost a single finger over your dripping slit. Cunt twitching at the attention. An action that was far from lost on him. 
“Did I tell ya you could touch yerself?” He hissed, ripping you from his cock as the heat of an orgasm started to bubble in his lower belly. You spluttered a no, holding your hands up in surrender to him. “Little minx.” He sneered.
You yelped at the grip on your thighs as he kicked your legs out from under you, tugging your underwear from your heat in one swift yank. He held the cotton up to his nose, taking a deep inhale. “Fuckin’ filthy. Just imagine what your uncle would think ‘bout this?  Ruining your fucking panties for me.” Shame flooded your gut, but the clench of your tight, drooling hole told you otherwise about disliking the thought. A heat warming your cheeks once more. “Oh, you like that dont you, Cherub?”
“Yeah.” You owned up to the fact. There was no point in lying. He’d fuck the truth out of you one way or another. 
With your hands still raised, you watched in fucked out awe of his tonge that darted out to taste your slick on your underwear. His eyes closed as he savoured the tang on his tongue. There was no need to commit it to memory. If he wanted it again all he need do was ask. Your legs would part open, panties in his hand again. 
“Taste like fuckin’ honey, Cherub. All sweet and sticky.” His voice verberated in your chest and his and had your eyes blurring in a split of a second. Crawling back once again to the memory in his trailer. “What do you think? Should I shove these in your mouth instead of my cock? Huh, Cherub?” You swallowed at the thought. “Nah…” He cast the thought aside, tossing them in the backseat. “I might just go easy on ya tonight.” 
That was a short lived promise, for he was sliding back his seat as far as it would go, dragging you into his lap, thick head prodding the weeping entrance of your cunt. Waiting deliciously for the stretch of him. Whole again. Make me whole again. You begged to the ears of your own mind. Please!
“Sit down.” He demanded. And you obeyed; Notching him between the slick lips of your pussy. He hands found grounding purchase on your hips, grinding you along the underside of his thick length. Smearing your juices over himself. Each time the tip so much as grazed your clit it had you whimpering his name. Had your brain scrambling to form a coherent sentence. It was sinful Disgusting. But the way it felt was enough to cast a shadow on those doubts. Turn out the light, and set them to temporary sleep in your head. 
The roll of your hips worked in tandem with the taboo buck of his thrusts. His neck strained and veins bulged under tight tension knotted, gnarled skin.
“This pussy’s made for this, ain't it, Cherub? Made for makin’ me feel good.”
“Yeah.” You mumbled while two thick fingers slipped into your mouth. The rough pads of them pressing into your tongue. You pressed your lips around them, taking his digits down to the last knuckle. His taste was rich in your mouth. One you'd never even dream of forgetting. 
Your humping got faster, more erratic and less careful. Big. Mistake. 
“Don’t go getting sloppy on me now, Cherub.”
You whined. It was all you were good for. All you could do. There was only so much finesse you could master with the steering wheel at your back, digging into your arching, aching spine. You waxed and waned over him in more careful movements now. Made sure to press down with each roll back over his shaft. All while he had an open mouthed trained gaze on the way his fingers slipped in and out of your mouth. Slow. Setting the pace for you to mimic. Lips puffy, saliva slick. 
From there, it was your dress. Greedy and heavy hands popping the buttons of it open and stripping you down to nothing but flesh. It crumpled around your waist. His lips pursed while suckling your nipples into his mouth until they were pert and erect on his tongue. Teeth sinking into tender flesh, jaw unhinged as he took a bite of their swell and mimicked it on the other side.
It was so bad. So, so, so bad. If there truly was a god you’d be signed over to hell. But you didn't care, how could you when you felt the burn in your belly of your orgasm. The stars sputtering over the backs of your closed lids in a hypnotic kaleidoscope image. Either way, you were damned. Icarus to Apollo’s heat. His heat was burning. Scalding. Making a sheen of thick, damp sweat accumulate over your skin. Chest heaving into his mouth while your back arched and held tight like the string of a bow ready to release.
“Fuck– please, Joel. Wanna– fuck– come. Wanna come!” You whined around his fingers. To which he replied by ripping them from your mouth and striking a heavy hand over your cheek. The sting was thrilling. It made the apples of your cheeks tingle, begging him to do it again. Abuse you in any way he saw fit because the pleasure burning, building in your core had your cunt clenching. Ready to let go at his given word. He bared his teats at you while he smeared his tongue and spit over your tits.
“No. You come when I say and only when I say.” 
And with those as his damning words, he lifted your hips off his, using a hand to line himself up with precision, spearing into you in one fowl swoop. You bit back a scream on your bottom lip from the intrusion. But before you could let the pain sink in it melted into brain fogging pleasure. You had to clench your walls around his thick length, his cock hot and pulsing within your cunt that spasmed with the promise to unwind. Had you a babbling crying mess in his lap while he jackhammered up into you. Balls slapping your spread cheeks. 
His palm closed around your pulse, the other in your hair as you held yourself just above him on trembling legs so he could have the room to thirst upwards, swollen cockhead nipping your cervix vigorously like the last time. Whatever broken thing inside you that made you yearn for this could rattle around within of you. It was nothing unless it got you here to the sheer pleasure you felt when in his unforgiving arms. You’d go easily like this. Tear stained cheeks as you babbled his name nonsensically. All for him to keep up the relentless pace of his hips. The coarse hairs at the base of his cock adding a friction to your twitching clit that wasn't needed. You were already on edge. God, how you lived for the little death.
“Please, sir!” If anything else you did didn't set him off, that did. The words sweetened by the whine that curled from the back of your throat and dripped into his ears like fine wine. High pitched needy for him to finish you off. Deliver the killing blow. 
The hand tangled in your hair jerked your head back, leaving your jaw to hang open and your eyes to roll back in your skull. Your toes curled in their frilly socks and shoes, the tingle turning to numbness and then to an overstimulated pain that you couldn't stave off any longer. 
“Gonna come ain ya, Cherub? After I’ve been so fuckin’ nice to ya. Let ya touch me. Feel me inside of ya.” He pressed a hand over your womb, feeling the bulge of himself each time he fucked up to meet that perfect spot inside you. “Feel me fuckin’ wrecking this cunt for anyone else?” And you nodded stupidly, finding it hard to breathe with his other hand still at your neck. He could feel the quickening of your pulse under your flesh. “Words, Cherub.” He growled with heat into your pulse. “Or have I fucked you dumb, pretty girl?”
“Yes! Yes, Joel, I'm yours! Yours yours yours!”
“The fucking come. Show me.” 
And finally, the closing scene to this act of sin. The little death you had been waiting for swelled within you, sending you falling from the stars in your eyes and back down to earth – crashing into the wall of his chest. A string of curses from his sneering lips and he released inside of you, balls tightening and dick twitching sheathed within you. His thick, hot come dribbled gluttonously from your quivering cunt. And you were twitching uncontrollably against him. 
Your chests heaved out of sync with each other. Him out, you in. You accommodated the invading rise of his chest with the crushing and concaving of your own. His cock softened inside of you and in the mess he had made of you cunt. You were well and truly wrecked for anyone but him. Your body, no matter how much you may come to hate this fact in future, belongs to his pleasure. 
You will forever be his fallen angel. His Cherub.
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peachesofteal · 1 year
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Cupcakes
Maybe this will be a thing. Or maybe not. Either way, I've got the Pedro brain rot.
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Joel Miller/female reader One shot - 1.1k words - AO3 Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI, mentions of blood, violence, gore. Joel is bad at feelings. Descriptions of explicit sex. Joel doesn't understand you.
He doesn’t understand you. You smile. With your mouth, your pink lips curling above a deep scar on your chin. 
“It’s my trophy.” You told him one night. “I got it from a crazy fucker who had a barn fulla clickers.” He’s not sure why any person would be penning up a bunch of those things, but you did say he was crazy. “Killed him though. Was one of my first ones.” He watches your face go dark with the memory, and he tries to imagine what you were like before all this. Soft, sweet. Probably someone’s wife. Maybe you stayed at home. Made dinner, made breakfast. Maybe you were the type that made cupcakes, real ones from scratch, with sweet spun sugar icing. Maybe you took care of someone. 
He doesn’t understand the way you think. You’re always telling him to take it slow, take it easy, take his time. He can’t. He doesn’t know how. He has to move fast, quick, easy on his feet. He cannot slow down. You have no problem making pace, but it doesn’t keep you from voicing your opinion. 
“You’re gonna give yourself a heart attack. Don’t the doctors usually start old men on baby aspirin at your age?” He’s not that old, for christ’s sake. He’s not even forty-five yet, he thinks. When you laugh at your own jab, it feels like he’s been punched in the stomach. 
He doesn’t understand the way you fight. You creep around like a god damn cat, brandishing a knife in your hand, another two slipped in your boots. You liked surprise, and you hated guns. The first time he had watched you put a blade in someone’s clavicle, he thought he was going to be sick. He didn’t like you having to get so close, no matter how many times you tried to assure him you were fine. And he hates how his head spins when he watches you put that same knife in the side of a clicker’s head, twisting it for good measure, before you’re shoving off of them and bashing their skull in. 
“Can’t aim worth a shit.” You complained the day he took you out for practice. You couldn’t hit a single bottle, and he couldn’t fight the grimace that graced his face. When you saw it, your cheeks turned a different color, and guilt burned inside him. 
He doesn’t understand why you’re so fucking stubborn. Why you don’t listen when he tells you to do something, when you blatantly ignore him when he tells you not to follow the crying little kid that’s begging for help. 
“It’s not like it was life or death.” He turned on you so fast he watched your eyes go wide, his arms pulling your shoulders towards his chest. “It is life or death!” He had yelled. You had run into that building without a care after that kid, and he could hardly keep up. Turns out, the kid’s mom was already infected, and he didn’t understand. He was only five. You covered his eyes while Joel put her down. You had carried him all the way back to camp, even after Joel had offered to take him, arms wrapped tight around his back as he cried. So stubborn. But you let Joel hold you that night, for the first time. In the dark, your hand running up and down his spine, your whispered words repeating over and over. “I’m fine. I’m fine, Joel.”
He doesn’t understand your feelings. The way they shift from one day to the next. He doesn’t like how it feels when he catches you crying, drop of tears webbed in your pillowy lashes. 
“What is it?” the words are gruff, and he wishes he was softer for a split second. You sniffle and shake your head. “It’s my dad’s birthday. Or would’ve been.” He gets it, he does. But he doesn’t know how to show you, so he just sits down on the step, his shoulder against yours. You wrap your hand around his knee after you’ve dried your tears, and he holds his breath while you turn your tear-stained face up towards him. “Thanks, Joel.” His name on your lips makes his blood sing. 
He doesn’t understand the way you talk to people either. The way you make everyone feel like they’re some ray of sunshine in your life. Like they matter to you. You give everyone your smile, and your eyes, and your touch. You rub Rita on her back when she throws up every second week of the month, like clockwork. You braid the Marshall girl’s hair when her mom isn’t around to do it. You try to arm wrestle John when you both get a free moment, and he can hear your laugh clear across the yard when he lets you win. 
“He gets a kick out of it.” You tell him one night. “Makes him feel good. Shitty world we live in, you know?” 
He knows. 
He wants to make you feel good.
He hasn’t had a woman under him in years. He’s all rough sandpaper, and he can’t imagine that scraping against your porcelain skin. But, that doesn’t stop him from thinking about it. He dreams about bending you back on one of those shitty mattresses, your skin rippling in goosebumps under the tips of his fingers. He imagines the way your mouth tastes, how your hand would feel wrapped around his cock. He thinks about how you’d sound, with his mouth on your cunt, his tongue licking up inside you, pulling an orgasm through your gritted teeth. He’d hold your hip in one hand and fuck his fingers into you with the other, feeling the way the walls of your cunt clenched down around him. He thinks about how he’d push your hips down onto his cock, your back arched in his arms, your mouth pressing into his shoulder as you moan. “Joel.” you’d whine, tongue darting out to lick your lips, hand gripping his forearm. “Fuck, Joel. Please.” He’d bite the skin of your neck, bringing it between his teeth, pulling the blood to the surface to brand you. You’d be his. 
These things he wants, they’re just a fantasy. A gentle dream, like the memory of the world before. He knows that, he does. But it doesn’t stop him from wanting. From watching you when you’re on guard, hips swaying with every step you take. Doesn’t stop him from taking himself in his hand when he thinks about the curve of your waist, the prominent dips in your hips, the soft crease where your thigh bends when you sit, legs folded against each other. He wants to pin you beneath him until you’re shaking, wants to hold you to his chest while you sleep. He wants the sweet, soft spun sugar that melts in his mouth, the feeling of you in his arms. He wants the cupcakes, the real ones. 
He wants it all. But it’s only a fantasy. 
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elliesmainhoe · 1 year
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RECKLESS
Ellie Williams x fem!reader
Summary: While working, Joel comes in and tells you that your girlfriend, Ellie, was injured on patrol.
Contents: Slight misogyny, injury, swearing, angst, fluff, unconsciousness, playful banter.
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Everyone in Jackson had a role, a purpose. Naturally Ellie was assigned to patrol and scavenge. Ellies strength was admirable, she was smart in combat, strong and immune, it was obvious why Maria put her on patrol. But you hated it.
You were never a natural fighter, more soft in nature. You were assigned as a glorified babysitter, taking care of toddlers during the day while their parents went off on errands and jobs. So you knew very little on combat.
Ellie loved that about you, your kind sweet and carefree nature, you seemed so fragile she had this urge to protect you ever since she first saw you chasing down a run away five year old, smiling and laughing as mud and snow splattered on your clothes.
You loved the kids, they loved you back. The small day care building always filled with childish babbles and bubbly giggles. You loved your job but you hated Ellie's. The idea of your girlfriend running from clickers. Shooting and climbing in abandoned building, death lurking round every corner.
You knew she was immune, her immunity calmed your nerves a ton. But immunity didn't protect her from people. Due to your kind demeanor people often assumed you were gullible and timid so they tried to take advantage of that. You couldn't count the amount of times you'd clutched your hidden pocket knife when someone approached you.
People in fucked up situations become morally grey and inhumane. Willing to do anything to achieve they're end goal. And it was horrifying, you trusted Ellie with your life, but you didn't trust others.
"Miss Y/NNN" a small squeaky voice pulled you from your chance. A small brunette girl looked up at you, doe eyes filled with tears, puffy cheeks and a snotty nose.
"Oh, What's wrong Nora? Why you crying huh?" You say bending your knees and crouching to her eye level.
"Miles won't share his toys cars with me-me. He says- He says I'm a girl so I can't play with cars" her words were rushed, small sobs and sharp intakes of breath between words. "Oh I'm sorry sweet pea, I'll go talk to him, why don't you go colour for a minute and I'll get you a car, yeah?" She sniffed, wiping her snotty nose with the sleeve of her cardigan and waddling towards the colouring table. Sighing softly you turn towards the group of boys pushing small cars on wooden tracks around on the floor.
"Hey guys, you've made Nora quite upset, can you tell me why you did that" you spoke softly, sitting down next to the group of 4 year old boys.
"because she's a girl. And these are our toys..." He mutters moving the toy car and bashing it into his friends.
Thinking on how to approach this you start talking. "In Jackson, everyone shares, the other day I was food shopping and your mother shared some of her vegetables with me. You see if you want to be a big boy you have to learn to share sweetheart. Nora might be a girl but she can still like cars."
He looks at you "So if I go give Nora a car, I'm a big boy?" He questioned, looking comically puzzled. "Yeah that would be really nice of you honey." You say an encouraging smile painting your face as he begins to wonder towards the brunette girl, two toy cars in his hands.
"Y/N." A deep voice sounded from behind you. Quickly getting up and turn around "Joel." You said to the man whose frame took up the majority of the doorway. "What's up?, usually you don't come visit me during work." You added, a smile graced your face at the welcome visit from the man.
"Uh, Ellie came back from patrol and she's not looking too good. She was shot with an arrow in her shoulder, it wasn't bad by itself but it sent her falling forwards and she hit her head, she's out cold." He explained to you, the worry written on his features soon matching yours. You felt your heart drop, a sense of dread overcame you.
"Oh shi-" you cut yourself off looking at the distracted 2-6 year olds, "shoot." You finish "where is she?" "She's in my spare room, I patched her up she'll have a headache when she wakes up and have to rehabilitate her shoulder for a few weeks, thankfully." He answered.
" my shift ends in five, Gia should be here for her shift soon, you mind staying here till she shows up?" He sends a nod your way and you immediately grab your jacket and bag leaving the middle aged man with the group of fifteen toddlers. If you weren't so worried about your girlfriend, you would've laughed at the situation. Joel miller with a crowd of children, completely hopeless. Poor man.
Your feet hurried as the sight of Joel's house came into view. Hurrying up the porch steps, swinging the door open, quickly throwing your shoes off, dumping your backpack on the ground and rushing upstairs.
Opening the spare rooms door, your breath caught in your throat as the sight of your unconscious girlfriend laying on the double bed, bandages rapped around her shoulder, a patch on her head, covering what you can imagine Is a large bruise. You moved forwards, perching on the mattress looking down at Ellie.
Her face looked calm and serene, her beautiful brown hair falling Infront of her face, her soft lips had a small split in it. You kissed her cheek, tucking her hair behind her ears. You looked around the room, your eyes focusing on the rocking chair pushed into the bay window. Getting up and pushing the chair closer to her sleeping form.
You say on the chairs floral cushion, reaching forward and grabbing her hands. Absentmindedly your fingers began to trace the veins and scars on her hands.
"hey.. HEY." Your body jolted up abruptly, being startled awake by a husky voice. "Ellie..." Tears welled in your eyes as you stood up and cradles Ellie's face.
"you are such an idiot, so so reckless and stupid..." You mutter gazing into her eyes, you saw her lips quirk up in amusement. "Don't smile, you're in a huge amount of trouble, missy" you say sternly, raising an eyebrow at her when she rolls her eyes playfully in retaliation.
"sorry, miss Y/n" she mumbled pouting out her bottom lip, mimicking the kids you work with.
"Oh shut up" you reply, you lean down, gently pulling yourself closer, and tenderly push your lips against hers. A sigh leaves both of your mouths, relief evident in both the softness of the kiss and in the happiness of Ellie being okay.
She's okay, she's alive. Of course she's alive, your girl is so strong, she'd never leave you.
Ellie breaks the kiss murmuring a soft "c'mere" and patting the empty spot next to her on the bed. You scooch yourself over to her, resting your head on her uninjured shoulder and nuzzling into the crook of her neck. Her hand reaches out and cradles the back of your head, dragging her hands through it, softly combing and detangling.
"I'm alright beautiful, I'm all okay. I've been through too much shit to let an arrow fuck me over. And I could never leave my pretty girl alone, you're stuck with me sweetheart, you're never getting rid of me, for as long as I can help it.
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I like this one more than my last one. I hope you enjoyed this mini-fic. If all goes to plan then I should be uploading some head canons later too.
NOT PROOFREAD
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megxplryxb · 1 year
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Bite Me...
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*Note* Hey everyone, sorry for the lack of posts lately, i've been really sick and feeling crap but started to write this on Halloween night and only finished it now. Also, Green with Envy pt. 2 is almost finished so bare with me. Anyway, enjoy your weekend beautiful people <3
Warnings: Smut at the end because we all love smutty Steve.
Pairings: Steve Harrington fem!reader
Disclaimer: I do not take any credit for gifs used.
The sound of children’s laughter and excitement echoed loudly through your usually quiet neighbourhood as Halloween night was finally upon the town of Hawkins, Indiana. You smiled, looking out your bedroom window to see an army of kids hyped up on sugar, running all over the leaf filled streets with their flashlights, knocking on doors, dressed up as monsters and superheroes trying to get as much loot as they could before darkness completely covered the skies and their parents ordered them to call it a night.
Halloween had been your personal favourite holiday ever since you were a little girl, running around trick or treating with your friends, collecting as much candy as you could in your costume of choice for that year, secretly watching horror movies with your older brothers’ to end the evening while your parents were out at some gathering. Now that you were older however, trick or treating had been traded for drinking and partying but the dressing up tradition had always remained firmly intact for you and your friends.
Music blared from the radio on your bedside locker as you added the finishing touches to the vampire outfit you were wearing to Steve Harrington’s Halloween bash at his parents house. Two fake puncture wounds on the side of your neck, eye make up dark and glittery as your mouth featured a pair of plastic fangs. Your usual straight hair now full of long loose curls, black tights matching the colour of your short skirt. Cleavage much fuller than normal as the purple corset top hugged your chest tightly making your boobs spill over the edge ever so slightly. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t intended on looking a tiny bit slutty tonight, thankful your parents had already long gone to their own Halloween activities to notice what you were wearing.
The beep outside signalled to you that Jonathan had arrived and was waiting patiently outside. The second and continuous beep, signalled to you that he had already picked up Eddie Munson who was not being so patient and wanted you out of the house immediately. You rolled your eyes at your friend’s immaturity, bending down to the mirror on your dressing table, applying the dark shade of lipstick before grabbing your purse and heading out the front door.
“Come on sweetheart, we should be drunk al—SWEET JESUS” Eddie cried, hanging out the car window, stunned as you walked towards your friends, finally getting in to the back seat beside the long haired boy.
“You look amazing!” Nancy squealed excitedly. “You guys do too, you’re really pulling off the blonde wig Nance!” You complimented as Nancy smiled sweetly. She had her and Jonathan’s costumes picked out since the middle of summer, deciding to go as Sandy and Danny from Grease as it was her favourite movie. Jonathan easily agreeing to it once she was happy.
“I know I’m not supposed to say things like this to one of my best friend’s but fuck you look smokin’ hot.” Eddie drooled, eyes glued to your cleavage. He was dressed as some up and coming musician called Slash and swore that this guy was going to be the next up and coming rockstar.
“Eddie can you not be a perv for five minutes?” Nancy pleaded.
“Eyes up here at all times Munson.” You ordered, pointing to your face as he shook his head to focus. “Yes, ma’am.” He joked as you shouldered him playfully.
“Wonder what Harrington is going as this year.” Jonathan quizzed as everyone else shrugged. You knew Steve was dressing as Joel Goodsen from Risky Business, he had showed you the costume two days ago while you lay naked in his bed after another round of mind blowing sex. But that was a secret you had both been keeping from your friends for the last couple of months, because tonight while pretending to be a bloodsucking creature of the night, you also had to pretend that you weren’t in a relationship with one, Steve Harrington.
You weren’t exactly sure when your feelings for Steve had changed from platonic to romantic, maybe those feelings had always been there deep down but you knew something had definitely shifted between you after getting trapped in that Russian elevator back at the Starcourt mall. The way he intertwined his fingers with yours as you sat on the cold floor trying to come up with a plan to get out of there, the way you rested yourself on his shoulder while his hand sat on your thigh, the fact that you had almost kissed while the others were sleeping until Dustin let one rip and pulled you back to reality again, both of you bursting in to quiet fits of laughter. You could see how much Steve had matured by the way he protected you from the Russian guards when they held you captive while Robin, Dustin and Erica had escaped to get help. It was he who took the beatings when they looked for information that neither of you could give, drugging you both in the hopes that someone would let something slip. The only thing Steve let slip in his drugged up state though, was his regret of not getting to kiss you back in the elevator, a regret you silently agreed with.
Neither of you brought it up again after the drugs had worn off and the mind flayer had been defeated. You decided to take Max under your wing after losing her brother and Steve was busy job hunting with Robin after the mall had all but burned to the ground. When you did find yourselves together however, either alone or with the others, you were certain there was a spark between you that neither had noticed before. Things stayed that way for several months, you and Steve being drawn to each other, finding reasons to touch or be near the other, it was something unspoken between you but you both knew it was there. Then, like clockwork, strange things started to occur in Hawkins once more with Chrissy Cunningham mysteriously dying, followed by Fred Benson days later. It didn’t take the group long to figure out another battle was on the horizon.
The battle with Vecna felt darker and more personal than it ever had before. The creature playing on people’s fears and weaknesses, taking pleasure in causing so much terror and pain and for the first time, you weren’t sure it was a fight that you and the others could win. You were fearful for the younger teens safety, hating that they were once again in danger but you all promised to see it through to the end one way or the other.
The night before the final fight, you found yourself at Steve’s house, both realising that if you were going to die, you wanted to spend your last night in the presence of the other. It had become a common theme, finding comfort in each other’s company every time your little town was on the brink of total destruction. Sharing a bottle of whiskey from his parents drinks cabinet, sitting on his living room floor, backs against the couch, listening to music as you talked about all the things you hadn’t gotten to do in life up to that moment. You weren’t sure how it happened or who had initiated it but suddenly your lips were on Steve’s, hands lost in hair, clothes torn off and desperate words being whispered in to each other’s ears. Something that had started out fast and frenzied became slow and passionate, as realisation set in that it might have been your first and last night together. Feelings that had been hidden away for the better part of a year, now out in the open, bodies aching to feel anything other than fear and the next morning you woke in Steve’s bed, laying across his chest as he held you close.
It had been the best night of your life.
Now months later, Vecna was dead and you and Steve were finally a proper couple, although no one else knew that yet. The two of you had been enjoying your time together in secret, getting to know one another better before telling everyone else about your relationship. You knew they’d all be ecstatic, especially Dustin and Max but neither of you were ready to answer any questions yet. So instead, you snuck around like naughty teenagers, trying to steal moments with each other whenever possible and you had to admit, it was pretty fun.
You knew Steve would both love and hate your Halloween costume. He had begged you to tell him what you were going as, pleading with you not to look too revealing as he’d spend all night trying to hide an awkward hard on, knowing he couldn’t touch you without blowing your cover. He should never have told you that because you had made it your job to find the most scandalous clothing possible, wanting to make him suffer.
Jonathan pulled up, parking on the side of the street as you all emptied out of the car. “m’lady” Eddie bowed, offering his hand to help you out, you gladly accepting. “Who said chivalry was dead?” You teased as he winked at you, walking towards the door. Nancy’s soft knock was met by a sneer from Eddie. “Nance, just walk in. No one’s gonna hear your knock with the music that loud.” Jonathan muttered.
“No, Jonathan it’s rude to just walk in to someone’s house!” She argued.
“It’s Steve, I don’t think he’ll be offended.” You laughed. “You’re all wasting valuable drinking time!”. Eddie groaned, finally shuffling by everyone to open the door. The house was already packed with people as you made your way in to find your boyfriend and Robin. Your best friend had also been roped in to help Steve for the better part of two days, cleaning, decorating and shopping for drinks and food for the party, both of you taking over the duties when Steve went to work at the video store. Eventually, you found them both in the kitchen, talking to a bunch of people over a couple of drinks and you couldn’t help but bite your lip seeing Steve in his sunglasses, something about it just made you weak, thoughts immediately turning dirty in your mind.
“You’re here!” Robin gasped, noticing you first as Steve’s attention was pulled from his current conversation to look at you, jaw almost hitting the floor when he saw you. You tried your best to keep your focus on Robin but you couldn’t help notice the lust in his eyes as you mentally undressed each other.
“I know, sorry we’re a bit late, we had to stop at the store for cigarettes for Eddie and then Jonathan forgot his jacket and—”
“I wanna say I’m hearing you but I’m way too distracted by your boobs.” Robin teased as you let out a laugh. “Robin!” You cried, blushing slightly at your friend who was dressed as Carrie, and weirdly pulling it off.
“I’m sorry! It’s just I’ve never seen them so on show before, I don’t know why you don’t show them more often, you have very nice boobies and I’m going to stop talking before Vickie gets here and I get in to trouble.”
“Buckley, stop perving on your best friend.” Steve joked as Robin shoved him playfully. “I’m just complimenting her boobies dingus, girls are allowed to do that sort of thing.” Robin defended.
“Well maybe you should go compliment your girlfriend’s boobies instead because she just walked in the front door.” Steve said encouraging Robin towards the hallway. “Oh, look how cute she looks! I’ll be back in a second.” Robin squealed, running to greet her girlfriend, leaving you and Steve alone as he handed you a red cup full of beer.
“So can I compliment your boobies too or is that weird?” He whispered in a teasing voice. “I’d be highly offended if you didn’t, Harrington.” You flirted back, taking a sip of your drink as he took in the view before him, removing his glasses, placing the temple in his mouth to inspect you further. “Jesus Christ, you’re too fucking hot in that outfit.” He groaned, practically drooling all over the place.
“You’re looking pretty hot yourself, Stevie.” You grinned as he stopped himself from moving closer.
“How am I gonna last the night with you looking like that huh?” He whispered desperately in your ear before the others joined you back in the kitchen.
“What are you guys talking about?” Eddie asked suspiciously as you and Steve both looked at each other…”Boobies.” You said in unison as Eddie laughed excitedly.
“My kind of conversation.”
An hour or so had past and you were back in the kitchen after having danced with Nancy, Robin and Vickie, sitting on the counter top with another drink in hand.
“I think Steve’s seeing someone.” Robin stated, stuffing her face with nachos as you tried not to spit your beer all over the floor.
“What makes you say that?” You asked nervously, looking over at Steve who was sat on the couch in deep conversation with Jonathan and Eddie.
“Well, besides the huge hickey he had on his neck in work last week, he’s not flirting with the customers which is totally unlike him and he hasn’t been on a date in like months. Haven’t you noticed?” Robin asked.
“I guess I haven’t.” You shrugged, avoiding eye contact with her.
“Has he said anything to you?” She questioned as you shifted uncomfortably.
“No, why would he? You’re his best friend, you see him more than I do and I’m sure if he was seeing someone, he’d tell you first.” You assured, feeling slightly guilty for lying to her.
“I don’t know, I mean, I’d really love to meet her if she does exist because he’s been really happy lately, happier than I’ve ever seen him.” Robin revealed smiling at you as you smiled back, heart fluttering at her words about Steve. You weren’t quite sure if she was trying to hint at something but you were thankful when Vickie interrupted the conversation, dragging her girlfriend back to the dance floor again.
A couple of hours past and the party was still in full swing, drinks were flowing, music playing, people dancing and making out. You had just beaten Eddie in beer pong, the two of you deciding to take a couple of shots afterwards for good measure but now you were starting to feel a little light headed, deciding to sneak outside to Steve's back yard for some air.
"Boo." Your boyfriend whispered huskily, wrapping his strong arms around you, nuzzling in to your neck.
"Steve, someone could walk out here at any second!" You giggled, turning to face him.
"What kind of boyfriend would I be if I left you out here all alone huh? Lot's of creepy people out tonight just looking to take advantage of an innocent girl." He teased, as you let his hands roam your body, your arms sliding around his neck. "Is that so?"
"Mmhmm." He nodded, grinning at you.
"Oh Stevie, I think you're underestimating your girlfriend." You flirted, walking slowly to the side of Steve's house, curling your finger, signalling for him to follow you.
"And why is that princess?" He asked licking his lips, catching up to you as you grinned cheekily at him, lifting your skirt ever so slightly to slowly pull your black lace thong down around your ankles before removing them completely, throwing them at your boyfriend.
"Because I'm not very innocent at all."
"Holy shit...." He swallowed, putting a hand through his hair, unable to get any words out of his mouth.
"Steve Harrington lost for words...that's gotta be a first." You smirked, biting your lip as he stared lustfully at you.
Steve had never seen you like this before, usually it was he who would take control, initiate the flirting or the foreplay but here you stood, so bold, so brazen, full of confidence, absolutely radiating sex and fuck, it was turning him on.
"Do you have any idea what you're doing to me right now?" He groaned, closing the space between you, backing you in to the wall. Steve took your hand, placing it on his already hardened cock, priding yourself on your ability to arouse him that quick. "You see what you do to me huh? The way your fuckin' dressed, fuck i've been staring at you all night, just want to ruin you." He whispered.
"I want that too." You moaned, feeling his hand slide between your legs, sliding a finger achingly slow through your folds, letting out a pathetic whine. "So fuckin' wet, always ready for me. Think I could fuck you out here without anyone seeing, baby?" He questioned in your ear, making you shiver excitedly at the thoughts of him fucking you in his backyard. Deep down you knew it was a bad idea but it was hard to care when Steve was whispering dirty things in your ear, promising to make you come over and over again.
"Steve.." You whimpered as his lips met yours, tongue darting in to your mouth. "Wanna know a secret? I've got a thing for vampires and you're the hottest one I've ever seen." He confessed, a darkness in his eyes as the lust began to take over.
"Want me to bite you Stevie?" You teased, nipping lightly at him, leaving wet kisses down his collarbone.
"Oh shit, want you to bite me baby, fucking do it." He pleaded as you sunk your teeth in to his neck. Steve hissing in pleasure as you began to suck on the skin, leaving an instant bruise.
“Oh, oh fuck you’re so hot right now.” He cried, grabbing your hair, holding you in place as you continued to suck and lick his neck.
“Taste good, baby?” He asked as you nodded, proud of the love bite you had left on him.
“Wanna suck on something else now….” You admitted, playing with his belt buckle as he shook his head in disbelief.
“Christ, you’re really trying to kill me.” He stated, throwing his head back as you began to unzip his pants.
“Harrington, where the fuck are you?” Eddie yelled from the house as you quickly pulled apart, knowing it was only a matter of time before your friend checked the yard.
“Shit.” Steve muttered, trying to fix himself before returning to the party, hiding his hickey with the collar of his shirt. “Typical Munson.” He sighed as you fixed your hair and outfit, trying to grab your panties back from your boyfriend.
“Not so fast sweetheart, I’m not finished with you yet, not by a long shot.” He grinned, dangling your lace thong in front of you.
“Steve!” You blushed, trying to grab your underwear again as he stuffed them in to his pants pocket. “I’m gonna keep these for now because what I have planned for you later, doesn’t involve panties.” He smirked as you huffed, folding your arms. Steve slyly smacking your ass as you both walked back in to the house, instantly being greeted by Eddie, wearing a shit eating grin on his face, realising exactly what you two had been up to.
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arielstruggles · 2 months
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TEARS AND FEARS
The Dawn of Regret ch4.
summary: Joel is an addictive man, it is impossible to move away from him. Even though he is an asshole at times
pairing: Joel Miller x Reader
w.c: 4.1k
Warning: smut (mdni), sex (piv), vulgar language, nipple play, overstimulation, lots of petnames, slight angst, a little trauma, fluff.
a/n: Hello, if there is any mistakes i am sorry beforehand. It has been a while since i last updated the story because i am kind of having a hard time. If anyone reads it, enjoy! And i would love to see your opinions, i am always open to criticism.
chapter1 chapter2 chapter3
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After spending some time with him, seeing his affectionate side it feels unfair to go back to your own place… trying to adapt your daily life because he feels like an addiction. Your body craves him, your soul feels empty. It has not been that long since you started having “something” with Joel, yet you feel like he is a part of your life for such a long time. You are aware that you should be prepared to every stupid thing from him. he might act like a total piece of shit the next time you see him or he might treat you like a sweetheart.
You feel like you have been bewitched. It is stupid to be under his spell so easily yet here you are, thinking about him once again. Even though you were with him a couple of hours ago. To be honest, it gives you hope. To be able to feel something other than fear, disgust or anger in this fucked up world. You feel hopeful after all those years. When the darkness fills the sky, you sit in your living room trying to get yourself busy. Walking around your living room, counting your fingers… Finally, you feel tired enough to fall asleep.
When you wake up in the morning you find yourself getting ready to see him. You feel giddy when you walk towards his place, fiddle your fingers. You knock three times knock, knock, knock… when he does not open the door you feel defeated, starting to head to your place. “Where you goin?” you feel your cheeks heating up when you hear his voice and go back to him, finding yourself once again under his gaze. “Hi, good morning.” You grin widely. “Came to make you fall in love with me.” you giggle, you are being way too clingy you know it. This is not how you usually are, he makes you like this. Like as if you should be taken care of him. His lips twist upwards to your stupid boldness. “You reckon’ it’s eight in the morning sweetheart?” though his tone is snarky, you only hear “Sweetheart”. “Are you going to invite me in?” “No” you roll your eyes but a part of you feels resented, your face drops instantly. “Come on sweetie, if you keep pouting how are you gonna make me fall for ya?” he chuckles and motions you to get in. When you brushed passed him, his scent fills your nostrils, you feel electrified because of your arm grazing his. It’s welcoming. You make your way to his living room and sit on his couch. This is not your first time in his place however for the first time you feel bashful. You were quite lively a minute ago, now you want to blend in his couch and disappear. “You are awfully quiet today.” He plops down on your side. “I Just don’t feel like talking.” He does not question, does not force you to talk. When your feelings start to overwhelm you and tears roll down on your cheeks, he does not make any implications, pulls you in his arms and kisses the top of your head. “Are you in love with me yet?” “Yes, I think I am going to propose to you.” you laugh. He is on his good side today.
You spend hours in his place with absolutely doing nothing. It does not bother you at all. The silence of not talking, in fact it feels peaceful. You are not as cheerful as usual, he knows. But he does not want to force you to talk unless you don’t want to. “Joel?” you call his name; he tilts his head to right and raises his brows to show you that he’s listening. “Did you know that if you eat enough apple seeds it can kill you.” he looks at you for a minute dead in the eyes then he chuckles and with a sudden motion he pulls you in his arms. “You are a freak.” He laughs. At that moment you feel like your heart is going to explode. He is so warm, so welcoming. As much as unpredictable he is not a bad man, at least for the ones whom he cares. You gather your courage up and wrap your arms around his torso and nestle your head on his neck. His chest heaves with each breath he takes. He strokes your hair and kisses the top of your head. The moment feels so domestic. You in each other’s arms, it does not feel strange though. It feels like home, “This is what it’s meant to be.” You think.
You kiss his chin without thinking much and peer up at him with pleading eyes to show him what you want. He does not do anything to stop you but he does not encourage you either. With a stupid courage you continue kissing his neck, nibbling on it. Your lips tasting his skin. Even if it turns him on he manages to hide it very well because his breath is steady. Your pussy throbs with expectation but he is annoyingly calm. You slide your hand towards his crotch and stroke his cock through his jeans. He snorts, likes it very much and this time he can’t hide how turned on he is. Yet he refuses to help you out. You sit there on the couch, he embraces you, you stroke his cock and nibble on his neck. You decide to leave him on edge even though you are soaking wet yourself. When you stop touching him he looks at you with a questioning expression. You softly sigh and get off from the couch and ask him innocently, as if you just not got him rock hard “Do you want some water? I am kind of thirsty.” “Could use some water.” he replies and you sway your ass intentionally while heading to the kitchen. He laughs, you are not being sneaky at all but he still wants to grabs your ass while imagining himself pounding into you.
You take your time in the kitchen to calm yourself down a little so you can tease him when you return to the couch without you getting too worked up. When the images of you two fill your head and make your mouth drool your cunt sizzles with anticipation. You want him so badly. But again if the manages to keep his cool, you can do that too. While you are so deep into your thoughts two strong hands wrap your waist thumbs stroking it. “OH MY GOD JOEL!” you exclaim because he scares you. “Got you scared sugar?” he murmurs into your ears while resting his chin on your shoulder, it makes you want to moan. His warm breath tickles your neck. “A little, yeah.” You shortly reply. Though you want to stay strong and pull yourself together, he is pretty distracting. The smell of his minty shampoo coming from his freshly washed hair mixed with coffee is distracting. When his half erected cock barely brushes your pussy, you feel the urge to moan, or even grind on him. “What took you so long, sweetheart?” you blink unable to find a coherent excuse. “Was thinking.” “About what?” “You know, just uh… stuff.” “hmm, stuff…” his tone is not mocking yet he implies that he knows what took you so long. While one of his hands continues to grab your waist his other hand makes its way to your waistband, his thick and long fingers going left to right on it, thumb softly grazing your flesh, his lips on your neck kissing it so gently as if it is a delicate flower. You tilt your ass back to increase the pressure between your ass cheeks with the hope that it may be rub your wet cunt. “Sugar, are you okay?” he whispers, you nod. “Why are you tryna grind on me then?” you want to whine or deny it but it is useless, “Oh shut up, as if you didn’t come here to tease me.” He snorts. “If you ask like a good girl, I may help you.” “Joel, I’m so wet. I need you.” this was all it takes for you to surrender. “There we go sweetheart, was that so hard?” he coos, cocky bastard. He slowly moves himself back and forth against you, you are both clothed but you can swear that he can feel how warm your pussy is. He starts licking your neck, his hot saliva burns your skin. You whimper. Before you know it he slides his sweatpants and boxers, not completely taken off but enough to free his thick cock. You slide your jeans as well and when you are about to slide your panties of he grabs your hand “Not so fast baby girl.” He coos in your ear; warm breath tickles you once again. His request surprises you but you comply. He spits on his free hand and warms his cock just a little so it can move easily, the other hand makes its way to your left tit from your waist. He starts rubbing the tip of his cock to your whole through your panties. The friction feels amazing. With each movement your panties get soaked and he moves it easily. “Such a good girl for me. begging for my love and affection. Aren’t you?” you bite your lip and rest your head into the crook of his neck because his words make you dizzy. He slightly presses the tip of his cock inside your hole through your panties, just so little that you whine when he pulls away you whine. He bites your earlobe and you wince in pain but since he is such a gentleman, he sucks it better.
Your breath starts picking up, so does his. You both get excited but teasing feels so good that you are more than willing to wait. “Yes, Joel please keep going.” You moan. His cock sliding back and forth on your panties feels ecstatic. “Gotta lay you down and ruin your pretty hole sugar.” He whispers and when you nod, he lays you down on the kitchen floor. You catch a glimpse of your panties and though you know it is wet, the sight embarrasses you. He gets on top of you and starts kissing you hungrily. Your togue entwined with each other. You kiss sloppily. He takes off your sweater and unclasps your bra while you are both panting, your lungs hungry to oxygen. He starts with kissing your throat, licking a stripe and leaving your throat wet. He kisses between your breasts and you wait for him the makes his way on your tits. You’re unable to talk, just whing and moaning. When he kisses your nipples you cry out loud, for a second you forget that you are in the middle of a fucking apocalypse because it feels like heaven. He licks them back and forth for a while but then he bites your left nipple and his hand is circling the right one. He licks and sucks your left tit when all you are doing is moan in ecstasy. When he stops toying with your tits, he kisses them gently one more time and continues to his kisses with your ribcage, going down and down till your bikini line, you think he’ll just remove your panties but he does not. He kisses your pussy through the fabric, laps your juices on it. He pulls your panties aside and exposes your bare flesh to himself and starts kissing it directly. The noises are so filthy that even if you are not a religious person, you feel like a sinner. His tongue moves up and down between your folds. “Oh god Joel please please…” you moan without even knowing what you want. He rubs your clit while licking you like the tastiest food, once you start throbbing, he stops and watches your pussy releasing its juice and clenching around nothing. “So pretty, such a pretty pussy baby girl. And it is all mine.” You nod pathetically, he watches the juice drip. After you make a mess, he cleans you with his mouth, the tip of his nose grazing your clit.
Even if you just released, you don’t feel satisfied enough because you’d rather hearing his balls clapping your ass while his cock stretching you. He sees your disappointment and leans to kiss your forehead, “We are not done yet sweetheart, don’t pout now.” He chuckles.
He slaps his cock on your clothed clit back-to-back. When you moan, he rasps “Yeah? You like that?” he continues slapping your clit before he sticks his cock inside your panties and his cock nestles between your folds. He starts moving his cock again. when his cock rubs itself on your soaked underwear he growls. Wet sounds coming from your skins gives you goosebumps. He continues teasing your hole, he loves it. he loves you whing and squirming, craving for his dick inside you yet he keeps edging you. “Joel fuck me please.” You whine on the verge of tears. “You gonna cry for me baby girl?” you never saw him being this rough. Yes he was never gentle but this… this is new and you like it. When you don’t answer he grabs your chin and makes you look at him. “Answer me sugar, are you gonna cry for me?” “yes, yes…” you say and nod. “Okay then, when I see those tears I may fuck you like you deserve it, but until then...” he slaps his cock on your clit again “…this is all you can get.” When you start whining, he continues with his teasing, then you cry… you cry because you want to get fucked. You feel so guilty for craving a man who is older than you for a split second but when you feel his hands sliding your underwear, fucking finally, and he pounds in your hole splits you open the feeling washes itself away. your tummy bulges with his cock and he smirks to the view. He takes your hand and drags it to your tummy bulge and presses it. “Look at you sweetheart, took it like an angel. I’m so proud of you.” his tone is condescending but his gaze is so soft. He slowly starts moving once you adjust to his size you whimper “Faster damn it!” he laughs and complies your wish. His cock is buried inside your pussy, your walls squeezing him. You can feel his cock twitching in your hole, it sends you over the edge that you start throbbing uncontrollably “Joel I’m close… I’m close.” You whine and he starts rubbing circles on your clit to make you come “Me too sweetheart, but ladies first.” He mutters, “Such a gentleman” you roll your eyes but when he fastens his pace you come in an instant. He groans and asks through his groans “Where… do you want… sugar?” “On my tits” he releases his seeds on your tits.
He leans on you and presses his forehead on yours, you both sweaty and panting. His hand cups your cheek “You did so good.” Your tummy fills with butterflies, you feel warm and fuzzy. His praises make you feel like an important woman. His approval gets you dizzy. “Catch your breath, I’m going to get the tub ready.” He leaves the kitchen while you rest on the floor, watching the ceiling. You feel a weight on your chest. It suffocates you. Yes you have feelings for him but at the end of the day he probably uses you for his needs. You feel tears creeping up on your eyes but shake your head suddenly. It does not matter, even this is something you think. After what feels like eternity all by yourself, he returns to the kitchen you realize his hair is wet and he wears different clothes. You thought you’d be taking a bath together so it saddens you. He crouches down then picks you up in his arms, taking you to the bathroom, gently placing you into the warm, clean water. “Thought you’d join me.” “I cleaned up myself.” He pours some shampoo on his hand when you’re inside the tub and he’s crouching beside it, rubs the shampoo on his hand and slowly lathers it on your hair. He is gentle, unlike half an hour ago. Massaging your scalp thoroughly then rinsing it. he repeats it one more time and then grabs a bar soap, starts washing your body. His calloused fingers rubbing every inch of your skin. You’re both silent. Your chest rising when you breathe in, falling when you breathe out. He is careful, takes his job seriously. “Are you in love with me yet?” you ask, laughing at the end so it could seem like you are joking however you are serious. He knows you mean the question but he focuses on your laugh and plays dumb “Yeah, I already plan our wedding.” Rolls his eyes. He does not want to break your heart because it is mostly his fault that you are growing fond of him, but falling in love is not that easy for him. though he deeply cares about you, he can’t name the feelings. “Rinse yourself and imma get you clothes.” He leaves the bathroom and you do as you told. You see two towels he folded up and left for you, can’t stop from grinning ear to ear. You are convinced that he is about to fall for you, he is convinced that he won’t.
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The silence lingers around once again when you both are positioned on the couch lazily. With every touch, with every kiss you feel as if his existence consumes yours. This is no longer you; this is someone who loses their sense of self. It might be because you have already nobody else to love and so much love piled up in your heart, on your body that you want to relieve your aching soul with him. It gives you a reason to go on, he gives you a reason… Maybe you are mourning for your loneliness while leaving your logic out of the equation. Nothing is certain, nothing is infinite.
You are so caught up in your thoughts that you don’t hear when he calls your name. “Sweetheart?” he nudges you to get your attention “Hmm?” “You okay?” “Yeah, yeah sorry.” “Are you sure? You seem a little pensive.” “I’m fine.” You brush it off. In reality you have never been so scared. The uncertainty engraved on your soul suffocates you. Just a couple of hours ago you were happily letting him to soothe your tired body, your anxious mind now you are a prisoner of your thoughts. “Even if he loves me, is this gonna work?” you think. “I don’t mind his age but what if he loves me back and I lose him.” Pointless fears eat you alive and when your stomach growls you realize how hungry you are. This time, you want to cook something for him. “Joel?” “hm,” “I’m hungry” “okay.” “Can I cook something?” “Help yourself sugar.” You head to the kitchen once again, having flashbacks of a couple of hours earlier. You find some canned food that does not look promising at all, going through his pantry you end up with pasta with canned tomato sauce… with the cordyceps breaking out you were unable to eat pasta or bread even for such a long time, you remember the times when you help her to garnish the pasta with basil, you’re laughing without knowing what future holds for you. For after god knows how many years you decide to eat pasta again.
When you finish cooking you grab two plates and fill them with pasta and make your way to Joel, he is sitting and watching a documentary. You join him and hand him his plate. “thank you, sweetheart.” He mutters his eyes focused on the old tv. You start eating and try to watch the documentary but it is so damn boring. You finish your food and look at the screen, Joel seems pretty interested in you on the other hand are try so hard not to yawn. To be fair you try to seem interested on the documentary but it is not only boring but also old as fuck. The people on it probably dead you think. A low huff leaves your lips and Joel throws a glance at you. “Bored?” “No, it is really interesting.” “Are you sure sugar?” “Positive.” You don’t know why but you keep lying to yourself and him. You are desperate to show him that you deserve his love, that you are a match indeed. It’s stupid really yet at the time you cling to a glimmer of hope that Joel may love you. Your eyelids droop and you pinch yourself to stay awake. His eyes twinkle with amusement. You seem so cute that he wants to kiss you all over. “There is nothing wrong with getting bored by the way.” He says his tone dripping with sarcasm. “Oh come on! You literally chose the most boring damn thing.” He chuckles “It’s not my problem that you are not sophisticated enough to grasp the concept.” “Joel, it is about building a house!!!” you protest and grab the remote with a swift movement, he tries to take it back and when you lay back, he towers over you. He starts tickling you and you giggle uncontrollably, your fingers loosen and remote slides between your fingers, hits the floor. You lock in each other’s eyes. It feels as if time stopped. You lick your lips but then he pulls himself back. His gaze hardens all of a sudden. Then he finds some stupid excuse to leave you in the living room. You don’t know what the hell has happened. What have you done to shift his mood.
The rest of the day goes uneasy. He gives you cold shoulders. For a while you are able to ignore the attitude but after some point it feels insufferable. You don’t know that his guilt resurfaced again the moment he saw your innocent face, unaware of his filthy persona. He thinks you are a naïve little girl, but in reality, you are a grown ass woman. His conscience never leaves him alone. Thanks to you the agony lessens but then it resurfaces again. He remembers his daughter and what would he do if Sarah was in this situation. He’d be furious. So he gets furious, not to you but to himself however you take it personal. He knows you are pouting on the couch but stubborn enough to not to return. You wait, wait and wait. The waiting makes you uneasy and you decide to face it. You make up scenarios in your head to prepare yourself from any fucked-up response from him, those only gets you angrier. When you barge into his room he sits at the edge of his bed. “Do you have any idea how stupid this looks?” “What?” “Joel don’t play dumb with me!” he looks at you piercingly. “Should I remind you again that we are nothing.” your throat burns, you know once you start talking, you are going to cry. “YEAH? KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT BUT YOU ARE JUST A COWARD.” You yell, not knowing where that voice comes from. “I didn’t promise you anything. You can’t blame me for being such a naïve little girl.” “THEN WHY ARE YOU KEEP GIVING ME THOSE NAMES? WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME YOUR SWEETHEART IF WE ARE NOTHING.” That becomes your last straw. You start screaming him meaningless words and punch his chest. As opposite to his usual attitude he does not say anything back. Because you are right. When your anger subsides, your fear shows itself. You start repeating the same thing repeatedly “I am scared of losing you Joel.” Tears flood down on your cheeks, your chest heaves with each sob. He never saw you like this, you are a mess. He pulls you in his chest and embraces you tightly. Cooing In your ears “It’s okay sweetheart. I got you. I’m not going to leave you.” he chants it like a prayer in your ears over and over again so that you can calm down. He pats your head, brushing your hair with his fingers. With your sobs dying down he kisses your temple softly. He does something he has never done before; he apologizes with a shaky voice his eyes are teary. “I am sorry sweetheart, for everything.”
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mxlktxa · 10 months
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ꜰᴏʀʙɪᴅᴅᴇɴ ᴛᴀꜱᴋꜱ
ᴘʀᴇ-ʙʀᴇᴀᴋᴏᴜᴛ
ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ; ᴘʀᴇ-ʙʀᴇᴀᴋᴏᴜᴛ!ᴊᴏᴇʟ x ꜰᴇᴍ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ
ᴄᴡ; ꜱʟɪɢʜᴛ 18+ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ
⋆♱✮♱⋆⋆♱✮♱⋆⋆♱✮♱⋆
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“Joel, sweetheart,” I whispered into his ear with a soft, comforting tone, lightly caressing him so he’d wake up, “we have to get up before Sarah wakes up. Don’t want her thinking I’m her step-mother, now do we?”
A low huff rumbled from the man beside me, arms stretching to pull me in to cuddle, tightening his grip as kisses were placed on my head in such a lazy manner. I found this interaction funny, attempting to escape his hold.
“Let her see us like this, I don’t care. She already calls you mom behind your back, it’s fine,” Joel nearly rolled on top of me while he spoke, his raspy voice almost muffled now.
“Well, get up in case she walks in and thinks you’re trying to kill me,” I said. With a slight chuckle, Joel rolled off of me, using his elbow for support to hover above me.
It was the morning after he had asked me over for the night since Sarah had felt a bit down. I came over to cheer her up and talk things out then Joel and I stayed up later to catch up on the crazy few weeks we both had. Now here we are, laying next to each other— surprisingly, still clothed and not hung over.
“That girl loves you like crazy, y’know,” his eyes wandered down to my neck and back up, “she asks me everyday about you. Wants to call and hang out everyday. All the time.”
“Oh, yeah?” Joel nodded at my response, grinning brightly, “then give her my number. If I don’t answer, I’m busy with work.”
“Or napping,” he added that comment, suddenly removing his elbow from below him and plopping down beside me.
“Yes, Joel. Or napping.”
I removed the covers from myself, sitting on the edge so I could stretch freely without accidentally bashing Joel. I stared at the open doorway, seeing a bit of a shadow by the frame, waving to get Joel’s attention. He sat up, noticing the same thing I had taken in observation, creeping up on his feet.
“You know, Joel,” I started, “Sarah might want some breakfast. What should we whip up?” we both crept towards the door, ready to scare and attack the little girl who was eavesdropping.
“Probably just some pancakes or french toast. We could make a strawberry millshake for her too.”
“A millshake?” I questioned, “at this time?” we reached the frame, ready to pounce on Sarah.
“Yeah, of course,” he chuckled, “it’ll be—,” we jumped out at her, the hall filled with screams and laughter, “fun!”
Sarah shrieked at the sudden greeting, pushing herself up the wall and holding her hands in front of her face. Joel and I went crazy with laughter, pulling her in for a hug.
“You guys are so not funny,” she snickered, “I could’ve died, you know!”
“Thankfully, you’re still with us, gorgeous,” she glanced at me with the largest smile and her eyes were overflowing with hysteria, “why were you listening in on us, hm?”
“I was bored! I’ve been up since seven and it’s now eight.”
“Wake us up next time. You don’t have to wait on us.”
“I was scared you two were… doing your ‘forbidden tasks’,” Sarah rolled her eyes as well as crossed her arms. I look to Joel with suspicious, yet annoyed eyes. He gave the same look, a nervous grin on his lips.
“Well we weren’t and how do you know about these ‘forbidden tasks’? You’re never home when it happens?” Joel let out a disturbed chuckle, scratching his neck as he side-eyed me.
“Uncle Tommy.”
The hallway fell silent. Joel and I stared down at Sarah who seemed as if she was looking at an astonishing entity, giving her an offer no one could ever think to refuse. She was ready to bolt, to pack all her things and move away.
We’ve told Tommy that we were messing around but told him to keep his mouth shut about it. Mainly due to the fact that we didn’t want Sarah to assume anything crazy. Granted it was awhile ago when I thought she disliked me but I would have appreciated him not slipping up.
“Let’s go get you breakfast, sweetheart,” I offered the little lady a big smile, turning to Joel to push him to the staircase.
“Do I still get the milkshake?”
“Yes, you still get the milkshake,” said Joel. An excited— barley audible, ‘sweet’ was all Sarah could respond with.
That morning, Joel and I spent about half an hour whipping up some breakfast for the three of us. Sarah was dying to help but it was always Joel and I seating her, wanting her relax since we decided that she was just going to be late for school and didn’t need to do much. We cooked up french toast with some eggs and made a little fruit salad for both her and I. Joel just had some coffee in place of the side us girls had.
Breakfast consisted of delighted, entertaining conversations, a bit of storytelling, Sarah and I ‘bullying’ Joel, and more. It was a nice little get together, Sarah officially calling me mom from this point forward, and Joel sitting back to watch us bond.
After we had all eaten, Sarah slipped off to get ready for school, Joel and I cleaning up the mini disaster we created in the kitchen. I gathered and did dirty the dishes, Joel wiped everything down and swept the floor.
Rough hands were gripping at my hips, a broad chest coming in contact with my back. I laughed at the subtle begging he gave, finishing up the last dish, putting it in the drying rack and turning to me Joel’s benevolent face. I could tell he wanted to both gush about how happy he is with Sarah and I but he also was silently begging to take me back to his bed.
“Joel,” I placed a hand on his chest and the other to his waist, “not now. Tell me what’s on your mind instead,” the urge to hop up onto the counter and just fuck around was undeniably tantalizing but we had to keep in mind that Sarah was home.
“I’m so happy you two are getting along,” his face hid in the crook of my neck, “I’m telling you, if you just move in right now, everything would be perfect for her. She’d grow up so happy.”
“Yes, Joel, I know,” I held back a soft groan as he bit and sucked on my neck, hand snaking around me and letting his lips meet mine. We both let our hands run around each other’s bodies, getting a little more heated by the minute, “Sarah’s home.”
“I’ll call Tommy to take her to school,” Joel huffed into my neck, picking me up to place me on the countertop and move on towards my collarbones.
“That’s just rude,” I joked, trying to stop the situation but only liking how much stronger Joel seemed when I fought back, “we can take her, it’s not a problem.”
“I just wanna go upstairs for a little.”
“Mm, then a little turns into an hour. An hour turns into two. So on and so forth, big boy,” I smirked into the kiss he gave me to shut me up, tugging at his shirt and whimpering a bit.
“Dad!” Sarah hollered, her voice trailing from the top of the staircase to the bottom. We both seperated ourselves, awkwardly clearing our throats and looking to Sarah who’s mouth was slightly open, shocked to have seen a milisecond of our little fun.
“Ready?” I questioned, wiping my bottom lip and hopping off the counter. Sarah only shook her head, coming to give Joel a hug and kiss on the cheek before taking my hand so we could leave, “we’re leaving him?”
“Uhm, yeah? We can have some girl time for a bit. You’ll be back soon,” she laughed, waving to Joel once again before we actually left the front door.
Girl time would be a little nice.
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DO IT! Do a part two to that tragic Joel oneshot! He needs a happy ending and I want to see Joel being a dad to his baby!!!! He'd be such a good dad and he deserves it!!!
A/n: Oh My god yes…Joel does deserve to be happy.
|| Part one here ||
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Joel didn’t remember much, other than nearly getting his head bashed in. He couldn’t even understand why they wanted to keep him alive, what purpose did they have in letting him live.Frowning he reached up then touched the bandage that was wrapped around his head.
Squeezing his eyes shut he did his best to think of you, thinking of you always relaxes him. Your smile, the little giggle you did when Ellie told you one of her jokes or how your eyes would light up when he sang.
“I promise I’ll get back to you Y/n….I swear it.”
-
“LET GO OF ME! TOMMY” You cried out, tears flowing down your cheeks as the man pulled you away from a body. “That bastard was with them! I know he was!! Just let me finish him!”
“He’s dead Y/n! You gotta stop! You gotta stop and head back the camp. What would Joel think? He wouldn’t want you risking your life? Your baby’s life.”
Sobbing you broke down in his arms the knife in your hands dropping into the snow. God you missed him, you missed him so much. “I just want him to come home….I…I just expect him to come waltzing through that door with some stupid joke but he’s not..I cant do this Tommy. I can’t.”
Tommy did his best to calm you down, your sobs were now muffled in his shirt. Your belly was growing, Ellie was doing her best to help and he tried god did he try to help you but he wasn’t his brother, he could never replace Joel. “Ahh it’s alright Y/n.”Trying to sooth you, he let his fingers rub your back. “Come on…let’s get you home. It’s getting cold.”
Nodding weakly you stood up, your hand resting on your belly as you tore your gaze away from the body. While you couldn’t admit it, you couldn’t help but feel some satisfaction.
-
Ellie’s breath came out on rapid pants, having cleared out the small compound she walked slowly down the halls making sure she didn’t miss anyone.
Wetting her lips she slowly opened one of the doors though she nearly fell to her knees.
“Joel…..You’re alive.”
-
Joel didn’t remember much, the fever hit him hard.Not to mention losing an eye, the man knew that he was even lucky to be alive.
He didn’t remember Ellie finding him nor being taken back to Jackson. He didn’t remember the group surrounding him nor Tommy pulling him into a deep embrace.
The only thing he remembered was your cry off his name, he just wished he could have seen your face.
-
It took another week of recovery, where Joel was finally able to walk around. He was stifle confided to his room of course at least his headaches were gone and now he was finally able to see people.
“Joel.”
It took all your energy not to rush towards the man, but you had to be careful. Hand on your growing belly you slowly walked forward then hugged him tightly. “I can’t….” Sobbing you nuzzled into his chest as the man ran your fingers down his back. “You’re alive…please tell me this isn’t some dream”
Kissing the side of your head, Joel rested his head onto top of yours. It felt so good having you on his arms. “I swear it ain’t and…you….you’re pregnant?”
How did he not notice this before, hand shaking he placed his hand on your belly. He swore he could feel tears pricking his eyes once he felt his child kick.
“I was going to tell you but.”
Shaking his head Joel the pulled you on for a gentle hug as your body sagged into his arms. Kissing your head he then smiled, it felt so good to hold you again. “You don’t gotta explain nothin Y/N. I’m just happy knowing I’m gonna be a daddy.”
Two years, it’s been two years since Joel came back to you, to Jackson.
He’d still suffer from some headaches and he had a small limp that didn’t stop him from being a wonderful father to your daughter Sarah, to Ellie.
Slipping out of the bed you shared with Joel you made your way to the porch to where you heard the soft strums of a guitar.
Leaning against the door way you watched as Joel play for Sarah. His little girl watching him in awe, she always loved watching him.
Feeling a lot of eyes on him Joel glanced up at you returning your smile as he continued to sing. It was another perfect day and nothing was going to ruin it.
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internet-sadass · 4 months
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My Bloody Betrayal (Harry Warden x female reader)
Blurb: Your boyfriend, Joel, takes your joke about having a date in the mines a little too seriously. You turn up for your date and encounter who you believe to be Joel, dressed up in full mining kit. The date goes to plan, and you end up getting down and dirty in a mine shaft, but do you really know who it is gripping your throat and touching your body?
(this is a terrible description but tldr: you accidentally bang Harry Warden)
Warnings: smut, p in v sex, dubious consent (reader is tricked into having sex with someone), accidental cheating, outdoor sex
A/N: I'm down so bad for Harry Warden, he's so AUGHH therefore I had to bash out a fic about this lovely masked man <333 If this is terrible and confusing, I am sorry, it is a very odd plot and I doubt I pulled it off well. 
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Pulling your jacket closer around your shoulders, you walked into the rickety (and definitely not up to current safety standards) lift and pressed the button. It cranked into action and began the 2,000-foot descent into the mines.
‘I wish Joel wouldn’t take my jokes so literally’. You thought, pulling at your hair, trying to fix it now the damp night air had started to make it frizz up. ‘ I bet he thinks this is a real smooth way to get some loving out of me’. 
Joel, after deciding that your joke about a ‘spooky’ date in the mines was a legitimately good idea, had added his own twist. With a dumb smile painted across his face, he’d told you that the first one to get spooked when they were exploring the shaft where Harry Warden and the other four miners had been trapped all those years ago had to give the other whatever they wanted. In Joel’s case, that meant getting to do more than just kiss you and fondle your breasts through your blouse. You had no objections to him going further than kissing and touching. Joel wasn’t the only one desiring more than just tame petting. However, you wanted your dear boyfriend to work for it. If that meant playing along with his ‘if you get scared, then I get to see you naked’ scheme, then so be it. 
Entering the shaft, you peered into the darkness. Joel had said to meet him down there, and then he’d show you around the vast warren of tunnels he called his workplace. 
“Joel?” 
A light flickered to life, illuminating the narrow tunnel you were in. You blinked a few times, letting your eyes adjust. In the center of the tunnel, illuminated by the single bare lightbulb above, was a figure kitted out in the mining gear and gas mask you’d seen Joel wear on the few occasions you’d picked him up from work. The figure tilted its head at you.
Cogs whirred in your head, and it didn’t take you long to piece together an explanation for whom this figure was. After all, there was only one logical answer.
“Oh ha ha, very funny, Joel. You thought I’d see you and think, ‘shit, that’s Harry Warden’ and start screaming the moment I set foot down here?” Walking up to the masked figure, you ran a hand up his arm, then pressed your hand to his chest, feeling the solid body hidden under the layers of rough fabric. “You’re going to have to try a lot harder than that to spook me.” 
A deep chuckle came from within the mask, vibrating along the tube. The figure, which you had decided was definitely Joel, ran a hand down your back and over your backside, squeezing it.
“Mm, good to see you too. But don’t get my dress dirty, Jesus!” You scolded him, looking over your shoulder and down at your body to see if any dust or dirt from the mining suit had stained your pretty red dress. 
The masked man backed away slightly, taking his gloved hand off our body and instead offering it to you to hold. You couldn't help but grin, feeling a little giddy and lovesick at your boyfriend being romantic and sweet while geared up in an objectively creepy-looking outfit. As ridiculous as this whole date idea was, it was just a bit of fun that both of you needed in your dull adult lives. The pair of you set off into the mines, Joel leading the way, the light on his helmet illuminating the narrow walkway, his hand firmly clasping your own.
***
The whole ‘not speaking’ schtick Joel was doing bothered you less and less as time passed. Sure, it was a bit disconcerting or even annoying to say something to him and get a muffled ‘mm’ or a deep chuckle, but you admired his dedication to making this date ‘spooky’ by playing a role. Once the two of you had finally reached the fabled shaft where the miners had died, Joel stopped and pointed at the closed-off shaft. 
“This the one?” 
A nod was your answer.
You looked at the shaft, which had since been repaired and was in use. It wasn’t all that creepy unless you thought too hard about the lore behind it. 
“Oh wow, Joel, I’m so scared of this shaft that looks identical to all the others we have passed.” You teased, grinning at your boyfriend. There was a ‘hmph’ from within the mask, and he shook his head, pointing again.
“You want to go in there?”
Another nod.
“Alright.” You said with a shrug, taking the lead this time and entering the shaft. Joel followed, his hand still holding yours. Once inside, you stopped, facing him, looking up at the two dark goggles that hid his eyes.
 “I think your plan failed. Guess you’ll be doing what I want since I didn't even flinch, let alone scream the whole time.” You guided his hands to your waist, no longer concerned about your dress getting dirty, and pressed yourself close to him.“You know what I want?” 
A tilt of his head told you to explain.
“I want you to fuck me, Joel.” You whispered harshly, annunciating the ‘fuck’ by pressing your thigh against his crotch. A groan rattled along the tube, the hands on your waist squeezing your sides before pushing you against the wall. His gloved hands roamed over your body, squeezing your thighs, the plush of your lower stomach, your tits, exploring the curves and contours as if he was mapping out unchartered territory. The hem of your dress was pushed up, exposing the meat of your thighs and your soft cunt to him. The coarse fabric of the gloves had you twitching as he ran his hands up your thighs, caressing the insides of them, letting his thumb brush over your clit, giving you the slightest hint of pleasure. You felt yourself clench in anticipation.
As sensual as it was to have scratchy gloves wandering all over your body and to have your boyfriend pretend to be some silent, dominant beast of a man, you wanted to see his face, to kiss his lips and his neck. You made a move to remove the gas mask, curling your fingers under the base of it. 
Joel jerked his head away from you and let out a firm ‘no’.
“You want to keep it on?” You asked, confused as to why he wanted to keep his face covered and, on a more practical note, how he was going to fuck you properly while wearing a clunky gas mask. 
He nodded, bringing his hand up to cup your check. You leaned into his touch, placing your hand over his. The hand on your cheek ran down your jaw and throat, giving it an experimental and light squeeze before resuming its incessant caressing of your body.
Those hungry gloved hands guided you to turn to face the wall. Joel fumbled with the zip on the back of your dress before finally getting a grip on the zipper and freeing you from the red fabric. The dress slid off your body, falling to the ground around your ankles.
“I really thought you were going to rip my dress off, but you’ve got a lot more self-control than I thought you had.” You mused, still facing the wall. You glanced over at Joel, who stood motionless for a second before he lunged at you, wriggling his fingers under your bra and yanking at it until the clasp gave way.
“H-hey, don’t break that, it’s my-”
As soon as your ruined bra started to fall off the front of you, your panties got the same treatment, being torn off your body and discarded. Heavy breaths rattled through the tube, and his chest heaved as he panted, exhilarated at tearing the remainder of the clothes from your body. You quickly forgot all about your favourite bra being destroyed when Joel pressed his body against yours, the firm rod of his erection solid against your ass and lower back. A growl reverberated down the tube. 
“I didn't know you wanted to play it rough. You wanna be rough with me, baby?” Your voice was husky and dripping with lust. The cool air of the mine against your slick lips made apparent how wet and needy your cunt was. A fresh trickle of arousal coated your lips. You felt Joel crouch behind you, his hands spreading you open so he could get a better look at what his presence and touch had done to you. He rubbed his thumb dangerously close to your opening, tugging at your flesh to peak at your pink insides. A low rumble of approval came from his crouched form.
Tugging his gloves off, Joel sunk two fingers into you without warning. You gasped and tried to turn your body away from his touch. This annoyed him, as his free hand clamped down on your hip, holding you in place and preventing you from squirming away. His two fingers probed you, curling up to tickle your G-spot, scissoring to stretch out your hole. The shaft was filled with your moans and the sound of your glistening cunt being played with by your curious boyfriend, the noise bouncing off the walls and echoing through the rest of the empty mine. 
The sensation of fingers up inside of you was joined by two more fingers rubbing circles on your clit, as Joel removed the hand holding your hip and repositioned it over the front of your crotch. You’d stopped resisting him now, so there was little point in trying to hold you in place, not when that hand could draw more pathetic whimpers out of you. Both his hands worked at different paces; the thrusts of his fingers inside you were slow and drawn out so he could caress every velvety inch of your walls, whereas he rubbed your clit at a feverishly fast pace. You were quickly coming undone, gripping at the grimy walls as you felt the pressure building in your belly.
“J-Joel, please don’t fucking stop. Please - ah god, fuck - you're so good at this.” Your words came out in an incoherent mess as you bucked back against him, almost knocking him over. 
Joel got up, removing his fingers from you for a moment, only to pull you against him, his head on your shoulder as he plunged two fingers back into you, using his thumb to stimulate your achingly sensitive clit. Now you were so close to him, you could hear how heavy his breathing was, even through the mask and the respirator tube. Arching against him, you keened as he kept pumping you, kept playing with your clit. The tension broke, and you felt yourself clench around his fingers, trapping them inside you as you practically wailed in satisfaction. You leaned your body weight against him as your legs trembled, all your strength leaving you as you came down from your orgasm. You flopped in his arms like a rag doll, held up only by the arm he’d wrapped under your breasts.
You were only given mere moments to regain your composure before Joel took your hands and placed them against the wall, forcing you to resume the position you had been in before. His breathing was ragged as he hurriedly undid just enough buttons on his boiler suit so he could slip his cock out. The crown was angry and red, leaking pre-cum as Joel gave it a pump and lined it up with your entrance. He slammed into you, shoving his full length in until his hips pressed firmly against your ass. A hand joined yours against the wall as he leveraged himself before starting to rut into you, drawing his cock out until only the tip remained submerged inside you before ramming it back in. His pace was relentless as he drilled into you, the drag and friction of his solid cock against your gummy walls making you moan and whine his name. You’d never expect that Joel would fuck like this, like some animal turned half-mad, driven only by the need to dump its seed into whichever mate would take it. Although the gas mask distorted his breathing and groans, you could just about make out the fact he was cursing to himself with every thrust. A hand grasped your throat again, squeezing it in time with the clench of your cunt, as if he was trying to show you how your tightening walls felt around his length. At this point, your head had turned to mush and you couldn't do much more than moan and stutter his name out over and over. 
Joel’s end was so close that he could feel his balls spasming as they got ready to unload. He slowed himself, trying to eke out more pleasure from the vice-grip of your cunt, drawing himself out all the way and then forcing himself back into you until his tip prodded at the innermost point of your core. His fingers gripped uselessly into the crumbling wall, and he pushed himself in as far as he could, holding himself in your heat until he felt his cock throb one last time. Viscous arcs of seed spurted out his slit, and he grunted in relief as he filled your womb and your hole with a load he’d been holding back for far too long.
The pounding of footsteps brought you to your senses as you struggled, trying to push yourself up off the wall and grab your clothes before whoever was out there could come in and see the state of you. The solid body of the man who’d just fucked his load into you stopped you from moving, his hand still caging your throat.
“Joel!” You hissed, trying to twist around to face him. The hand on your throat kept you immobile. “We need to go or hide. If someone sees us down here, the whole town is gonna think I’m-”
Joel had heard voices coming from the shaft up ahead. He’d been wandering about the mine for the last hour, desperately trying to find his girlfriend, cursing himself for being so stupid as to instruct her to get down and meet him there. His car had broken down, so he’d entered the mine twenty minutes after the arranged rendezvous time. He knew she had to be down here somewhere since he’d seen her car parked on the lane outside the mining site. 
He called out her name, hoping to hear an answer. All he heard was a hushed whisper that suddenly stopped. That single sound was enough to guide him to the shaft he’d intended to bring his girlfriend to earlier to spook her by playing a prank on her. He’d intended to get a scream out of her by pulling on a gas mask and pretending to be Harry Warden. In retrospect, he felt that this whole idea of a date in the mines was incredibly stupid.
Joel was about to call his girlfriend’s name again when he shone his torch into the shaft, only to be met with the sight of his girlfriend, naked and bent over, with a man dressed head to toe in protective mining gear grasping her throat, his hips pressed against the plump flesh of her ass. Horrified, Joel froze, staring at his girlfriend as the man let go of her throat and stepped back, sliding his half-soft cock, which was glistening with cum, out of her.
You looked from Joel, who stood at the entrance to the shaft, and the man behind you. If Joel wasn’t the one in the gas mask, the one who had led you into this shaft and fucked you against the wall, then there was only one other person it really could be.
Harry Warden.
You’d just fucked Harry Warden.
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deantfwinchester · 9 months
Text
Fresh Start 2/?
Pairing: Pre-Outbreak!Joel x Neighbor!Reader
Summary: When you move to Austin after finishing grad school, all on your own, you find a small house for rent next door to a handsome contractor and his teenage daughter. He gives you a hand moving in, but it turns out he could use more help than he knows.
Word Count: 4k
A/N: Lol more Looking After Joel content (like anyone’s surprised)
Pre-outbreak or no outbreak (take ur pick). It's f!reader, 2nd person, w/ no use of Y/N.
Welcome once again to the Joel Miller fluff crusade.
Part 1
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You saw Joel and Sarah a few more times in passing over the next few days, each time smiling warmly and waving across the way, but always on the way out. Most days you saw a younger man on the way out with the two of them, who bore some resemblance to Joel, and you figured that must be his brother Tommy. Sarah had mentioned her Uncle Tommy while recounting her day over loose pieces of bookcase as the three of you built a few nights prior. 
Since that night, you’d been trying to find the time to gather what you needed to make dinner for your neighbors, in an effort to adequately thank them for all their help getting your new home put together. After spending the weekend unpacking the last of your things, you resolved to hit the grocery store for the ingredients you’d need on Monday after work, and try to get dinner ready for delivery next door around the time Joel got home.  Monday morning, you noticed it was just Joel and Sarah hopping in the truck as you got ready to leave for the day from your own driveway. Joel looked over at you, squinting in the bright morning sun, and smiled wide, waving. 
“Just the two of you this morning?” you called, waving back at him.
“Yep. My brother’s outta town. Took a long weekend,” he said, walking over to you. You began walking as well, meeting him halfway. “I’ll have to introduce you two sometime soon.”
“Definitely, I’d like to meet him,” you said, smiling back at him. 
He nods back and continues, lifting one arm up to rub at the back of his neck sheepishly. “Oh, I uh, got an idea of how my week’s gonna look. Would you wanna come over for dinner on Wednesday? I think Sarah would really like it, and you could meet Tommy too, since he’s around all the time. Damn near lives here himself.” 
You tried hard to keep your eyes on Joel’s while he spoke, but you couldn’t help but be distracted by the way his shirt lifted barely two inches above the waist of his jeans, exposing a bit of his stomach. Your neck burned a little thinking of him, silently scolding yourself, pleading to Get A Grip. “Wednesday? Um, yeah, I don’t think I’m busy at all. I’d love to,” you replied almost too quickly. Joel didn’t seem to notice, however, mostly seeming relieved, and he smiled in response. God he had a gorgeous smile. Starting to seem like the Texas heat wouldn’t be the only thing making you melt. 
“Great! We’ll be looking forward to it,” he said, satisfied with your answer.
“I will be too! Thank you, Joel,” you replied, hoping he saw only your earnest appreciation and not your cheeks warming under his gaze. 
“Anytime. Well, I gotta get her to school,” he said, pausing and turning a bit to walk back toward the truck. Once again slightly bashful, he added one last thing.
“I hope you have a, uh, wonderful day, darlin’.” No doubt he could see the red in your face now, almost stuttering at his genuine tone. 
“I-I hope you do too, Joel. I’ll see y’all later,” you replied, smiling back and turning to your own car. He watched as you got into the car, and didn’t return to his own until he heard your engine start. Taking a moment to gather yourself in the driver’s seat, you realized this crush on Joel was only going to grow each time you talked to him. You tried to tell yourself this was a bad idea. Joel’s your neighbor, and you wanted to keep it friendly and welcoming, and you had no idea how Sarah would react if something ever did happen between the two of you. No, you’d make sure to get a hold of it before bringing dinner over for the two of them tonight, which you’d conveniently left out of the conversation with Joel. You’re wanting it to be a surprise thank-you, and thinking it might be nice to not have to worry about what to do about dinner after working in the heat all day. For your neighbor. Your friend. Just that. 
_____________________________________________________________
You arrived back home around five, shopping done and ready to start cooking. You set to preparing the different parts of the meal you were making. The lasagna you took a bit of time and assembly, and you were definitely making quite the mess. Around the time the bolognese finished, you looked out the window and noticed Joel’s truck still wasn’t outside the house next door. Not too concerning, you knew he worked late quite a bit. If nothing else, you could bring dinner to Sarah, and he’d have less to worry about when he did get home.
You’d been cooking for over an hour when you noticed the sun beginning to set outside. You got the hefty casserole dish into the oven, and cleaned up the mess you’d created in your kitchen, tying up the very full garbage bag to take outside. As you headed toward the cans in your driveway, a taxi pulled up in front of the house next door. Now this was strange, you had yet to see a single cab in your very residential neighborhood. You noticed as well that Joel’s truck still wasn’t in their driveway. This made more sense as you watched Sarah emerge from the back of the car on the street side and quickly walk around to the lawn, opening the door for the other passenger. You certainly were not expecting Joel to emerge from the car, grip tight on the top of the door, with Sarah leaning in to help him out. As he got out and shut the door, draping an arm over Sarah, with a pained expression on his face. While he leant heavily on the cab’s door, Sarah reached in and pulled out a pair of crutches, helping him to get a grip on the first one. After settling on the first crutch, Joel pushed the door to the cab shut behind him, and began to hobble forward. Before Joel can grab the other crutch from Sarah, you see him begin to lose his balance, enough to instinctively go down on his newly wrapped ankle, and you rush forward to help. 
“Woah! Hang on a second!” you call as you approach them. Joel is huffing with effort when he notices you, and lifts his arm, allowing you to slip right underneath and support his side. Joel straightens up, leaning heavily on you, and lets out a breathy “Thank you.”
“‘course.  Looked like you needed a hand,” you smile up at him. He smiles back down at you, and despite your grin, he could see your eyes wide, and brows knitting together in concern. Joel felt a growing warmth in his chest at the sight, reminding him of the wave he felt during your conversation this morning. 
You motion for Sarah on Joel’s other side to hand you the remaining crutch, and help him get a comfortable hold, as you slip out from beneath his shoulder. You keep hold of him as he adjusts, letting your hand linger lightly on his back.
“Good? Okay, let’s get you inside, then I want the story,” you said, rubbing his back a bit before letting go. Joel trudged forward, shifting his focus toward keeping his balance rather than missing the feeling of your hand, warm against his back. You kept close to his side, making sure he was stable, as Sarah led the way inside. 
The two of you got Joel seated on the couch, and Sarah ran to her room to change out of her school clothes. You take Joel’s crutches and place them on the wall by the couch, and sit down on the ottoman in front of him, motioning for him to place his injured leg up next to you. 
“Comfy?” you asked, and Joel nodded. 
“As I’m gonna get for right now, I think.”
“Okay, story time. What the hell happened today?” 
That look was back on your face, Joel realized, the one you gave him outside from beneath his shoulder, that warmed him from the inside. He just wanted to look at you for a while, feeling like he could melt under the care in your eyes. 
“I, uh, fell. On site today,” he responds, a bit flustered after catching his too-long pause. 
You wait a beat for him to elaborate, and when he doesn’t, you speak. 
“Wow. You’re a riveting storyteller, Joel. Way to paint a picture for me. Feel like I was there,” you say with more sarcasm than he can bear at the moment. Joel groans and rolls his eyes at your tone, and you grin at him, placing your hand on his injured leg, rubbing lightly, attempting to coax more of an explanation from him. “Okay, so injury acquired at work, that much we know. I assume also, based on the wrapped ankle and accompanying crutches, you saw a doctor somewhere? What did they say?”
Joel sighed, conceding to your press for information. “Yep, at work. Fall involved some scaffolding and I, uh, got unlucky, I guess. One of the guys drove me to get it checked out, and Sarah met us there. ‘S just a sprain, not a big deal,” he shrugged. Before you could respond, you heard Sarah yell from the hall. 
“He’s lying!” she said. Joel sighs at this, shaking his head, opening his mouth to protest as she walks back in the room. “Nope. Don’t even try it. We came from the ER, where he waited two hours, got an x-ray, and the doctor told him he’s very lucky it’s not a fracture.” She placed her hands on her hips and looked at you, exasperated. 
“It’s fine,” Joel says, “just gotta wait a couple days, then I can get back to work.”
“A week. The doctor said a week before you can go back to work. Then he said you need to spend another week supervising, no heavy lifting.” Sarah’s spiel made Joel sigh once again, this time in defeat. Your eyes were wide, impressed by her ability to both keep track and wear him down. 
“Good memory.” you say incredulously, smiling at her. 
“He remembers too, he’s just lying. That’s why I took the bus to the hospital instead of home like he told me. To hear the instructions myself,” she says to you, though pointed elsewhere. “ And Uncle Tommy’s still out of town, so…”
“So you took a cab home from the ER??” you say, turning your head back to face Joel, who looks at you confused. It’s Sarah’s turn to sigh now, and she turns toward the kitchen. 
“I’m getting something to drink,” she breathes, and turns to Joel, “keep that elevated!”
You turn back to Joel now. You’re touched by Sarah’s concern, and give him a look letting him know as much, and wait for him to continue.
“Easier than the bus like this,” he shrugged.
“Well, what about the guy who drove you there? Where’d he go?” you ask. 
“He had to get back to work, couldn’t wait around. ‘Specially with me gone for the rest of the day,” he says, like it made perfect sense. You look at him, face once again marked with worry but without the accompanying smile, he notices. You reach around Joel’s side and grab the throw pillow sitting next to him on the couch, then tap his leg lightly, signaling to lift it from the ottoman. You slide the pillow into the space he occupied, then move his leg back down to settle on top, laying your hand above his ankle once again. 
“I get it,” you tell him, “but I don’t want it to happen again. Gimme your phone.” You take his phone and add your number to his contacts, and hand it back to him after sending yourself a text. “So next time-“
“Next time? You plottin’ my next fumble?” Joel asks, grinning at you. You shake your head at him. 
“Let me finish! Next time you need a ride, or anything else you think I could help with, call me,” you say, gesturing to the phone now back in his hand. “I put my number in there and sent myself a text so I have yours now too.”
“Well, thank you, darlin’, but you don’t have to-“ Joel starts, but you cut him off. 
“Nope. Promise me you’ll use it. If you need to, if you want to, for anything either of you need. I know your brother’s usually here, but just, put me above the cab company on the list, at least. Promise?” you plead with Joel. The worried face is back, and he’ll do just about anything to make it go away. 
“I promise. Thank you,” he says, nodding, looking at you with a sincerity that reaches your bones. You look anywhere but at him, feeling your neck heat up into your ears like this morning. You pat his leg a couple of times, then stand, clearing your throat a bit. 
“Well. Safe to say you guys haven’t eaten yet, yeah?” you ask, loud enough that Sarah can hear in the kitchen. 
“Definitely not. And im stARVING,” says Sarah, walking back in and passing a glass of water and bottle of Advil to Joel, before placing an ice pack on his ankle. 
“Okay good, give me a couple minutes, and I’ll be right back.” Sarah’s eyes grow wide with curiosity, and you turn to head out the door just as Joel begins to protest. 
“What did you-“
“Just trust me,” you called to him, walking out, then peeked back in the door and pointed at Joel, “don’t go anywhere.” You said, raising your eyebrows at him. 
Sarah started laughing as he deadpanned back at you, eyes narrowed “Hilarious.”
“Too soon?” you ask him through laughter. He rolls his eyes and smiles at you, shaking his head. “Alright, I’ll be right back.”
______________________________________________________________
With all the excitement of the last hour, you’d run out the clock on dinner, with only a few minutes remaining on your timer when you walked back into your kitchen. You pulled the lasagna out of the oven, covered it in foil, then stacked some potholders and returned to Joel and Sarah’s. 
When you walk through the door, they turn to you, eyes wide. You can practically see their mouths watering like cartoon characters. Mission accomplished. 
“Okay, so I’d actually planned to bring dinner over here for y’all tonight. As a thank you for your help last week. Couldn’t have picked a better day, huh?” you say to the two of them. Joel just stares at you, speechless. He definitely hadn’t seen that coming, but he wasn’t really surprised. Just, didn’t know what to say. Sarah speaks for both of them. 
“You didn’t have to do that, we were happy to help. We had fun that night!” she says, excitedly, “but I am hungry, so come on.” Sarah leads you into the kitchen, then ushers you out, grabbing plates from the cabinet, insisting on handling it herself. You walk back into the living room, where Joel’s gathered his words, though they’re certainly nothing new. 
“This is real sweet, but you really didn’t have to do that, darlin’. Seriously,” Joel says to you, gravely. 
“I wanted to, Joel. Seriously.” you say, mirroring his intensity. 
“I’m sure you did. I don’t doubt that,” he says, smiling knowingly at you through the words. 
“Well, if you guys are good, I’m gonna get going. I’m sure you’re tired, so eat, enjoy, then get some rest,” you say to him, moving to leave. He’s exhausted, that’s for sure, but he’s also sure he doesn’t want you to leave. He’s got no idea how to make you stay, when Sarah walks back in from the kitchen, holding three plates filled with huge slices of the lasagna. 
“Nope, you’re staying. You made it, it’s huge, eat with us,” she pushes one plate into your hands and another into her father’s. 
“Oh, that’s sweet Sarah, but you guys have been through a lot today, I don’t want to intr-“
“Stay. Please. We’d really like you to.” This time it was Joel, insisting as well that you stay for dinner with them. With both of them staring up at you expectantly, you have no choice but to relent, taking your plate and sitting on the couch next to Joel.
______________________________________________________________
The three of you sat and ate together, first listening to Sarah tell stories of her day, then banding together to bully Joel into more details about what happened on site today. Sarah had a very strong feeling that, while unfortunate, the fall probably looked hilarious. The three of you giggled about the events of the day long after the empty plates were abandoned on the end tables. Sarah was curled up in a chair across from you two, when she got up, stretching, and announced she was heading to bed. She reached for the empty plates, but you stopped her before she could get to them. You told her not to worry about them, saying you would handle it, and she let you. After saying goodnight, she left for her room, leaving you and Joel alone. 
“You’ve gotta be pretty tired yourself, huh?” you ask Joel, reaching out and patting his arm, before getting up to grab the empty plates. 
“I’m alright. I’m glad you’re still here,” he says, that same sincerity in his eyes as he looks up at you, and you falter under his gaze, eager to busy yourself. Stacking the plates in one hand, you reach down and touch the ice pack on Joel’s ankle, finding it squishy and melted. 
“This, uh, this isn’t doing you any favors anymore. Hang on,” you grab the limp pack and carry it and the plates into the kitchen. After cleaning the dishes and covering the lasagna, you place it in the fridge, then open the freezer beneath it to replace the melted ice pack. Luckily, you find a second just like it, which you grab and return to the living room. 
You place the new ice pack on Joel’s elevated ankle, fiddling with it until you’re satisfied it’ll sit comfortably still. You’re at least partially trying to occupy yourself beneath his gaze, still unsure how to react to this feeling. He’s smirking at you when you meet his eyes, amused by your fussing over his injury. 
“You really don’t have to do that, sweetheart. I’ll be alright, I can handle it,” he says while you attempt to fluff the pillow beneath his leg before sitting down next to it on the large ottoman. You place your hand on his leg once again, this time not hesitating to rub comforting and light along his shin.
“I know you can. But so can I. You’ve had a long enough day, just let me help,” you tell more than ask him. 
“You already helped out plenty, bringing dinner over. She would’ve probably eaten something microwaved for dinner. Or worse, had to cook something for us herself. She does that enough already,” he glances down at his hands in his lap then, and you notice the guilt creeping into his voice. You lean forward then, and put one hand on his forearm, and he looks up, meeting your eyes.
“Hey,” you say gently, “she’s okay. More than okay, she’s wonderful. She was so sweet today, remembering every detail from the doctor, getting you in here and settled. It was adorable actually, watching you listen while she bossed you around a bit.”
“Sweet as can be, but ‘s not her job. I’m s’posed to be taking care of her, not asking her to take the bus home, or having her lug me out of a cab from the ER on a school night,” he says, running a hand over his face. You give his arm a reassuring squeeze before responding. 
“This whole situation was a one-time thing, and you know that. Getting hurt on the job the one day your brother’s not with you? Bad luck. All it can be. Don’t beat yourself up about this, and definitely not when you’re this exhausted,” you say to him, hoping to provide what little comfort you can. He nods a little, head turning back to his lap, looking at your hand still resting on his forearm.  “And don’t forget, find yourself in a run of luck like this again, you can call me instead.” You move your hand down, resting on top of his, and patting once again. As you move to lift it, he grabs your fingers, just wanting to keep your hand in his for a bit. You don’t move a muscle. 
“You really mean that, don’t ya?” he lifts his head again and smiles at you, still holding your fingers tight. 
You smile back, nodding at him, “anything you need, I told you,” squeezing his hand in return. He’s holding your hand in both of his now, and you rub little circles against the back of one with your free thumb. You wonder, for a moment, if you’re doing something you shouldn’t. He’s hurt, tired, and clearly carrying too much to think straight. Would a more awake, or less upset Joel be so open to this physical affection? Before you can spiral any further, Joel speaks again. 
“Well, in that case, I was wondering if I could ask a favor of you this week,” he says. 
“Anything. Shoot.”
“It’s a lot, and I hate to ask, if you can’t do it, I’ll understand,” he begins rambling. 
“Joel. Just tell me what you need,” you cut him off, squeezing his hand in yours. 
“Well, since I can’t drive for the time being, I was wondering if you could pick Sarah up from school for the rest of the week? Tommy’s on his way back already, he’ll get her there in the mornings, but without me there, he can’t leave the site in the middle of the day to get her home. She can take the bus if she needs to, it’s not a big deal, I just-“
“Joel. I’ll be happy to pick her up this week. My schedule is flexible, so it won’t be a problem. I’ll be there, and I’ll make sure she doesn’t wait on me either,” you assure him. 
“That’s- I can’t thank you enough, darlin’, really. I-“ Joel cuts himself off with a yawn, and you rise before he can even finish. 
“Alright, that’s my cue. And yours,” you keep his hand in yours, giving it one final squeeze before he lets his fall, reluctantly. “Time to put yourself and this day to bed. Do you need help getting up?”
He smiles at his lap once more. “No, I’ll be okay. I think I got the hang of those things anyway,” gesturing to the crutches against the wall behind him. “I’m gonna sit here a while longer. Thank you again for your help tonight. I’d walk you out, but..”
“Don’t you dare get up Joel, not until you’re heading straight to bed. Promise?” you smile back, making him swear once again. 
“I promise. Night, darlin’” he says, smiling slightly, eyelids at half mast. You doubted he was making it off the couch tonight, but you didn’t want to push. 
“Night, Joel. Get some sleep, I’ll see you tomorrow,” you lock the door from the inside on your way out, fairly confident Joel wouldn’t be getting up or remembering to do it himself. You walked out into the warm night air, head spinning with the countless moments you shared with Joel tonight. You didn’t realize how late it was until you walked back in your own home, feeling exhaustion take hold. You’ve got plenty to do tomorrow now, too, so sleep was of the essence. You head to bed yourself, silently thanking the universe you’d already cleaned up the kitchen.
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