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#while Marlowe's is doing what he thinks is the right thing rather than FEELING it
koenki · 5 months
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Hand Holding HCs pt 2 - Reverie Audios
2/2 woohoo~
Casey: Honey is more likely to start it intentionally. He's clammy and nervous at times and despite the teasing they do want him to have comfort with them as well. During dates Casey may accidentally start it but Honey doesn't let go, tugging him along gently to say they are okay with the gesture. It relaxes him, having that certainty given to him, as if permission to just live in the moment rather than worrying about whats to come or what people may think. Cyril: I've already done a thing on hand holding with them, but here's some new thoughts on their life at work. Cyril isn't big on open displays of affection, his private life is his and he doesn't feel his coworkers need to know about what goes on outside of it. That's not to say the Rival doesn't test the limits. When walking down the halls together, discussing their projects, or maybe plans after work, they walk close, and hold pinkies. It's small and hard to notice if not looking for it, and easy for one of them to pull away if they need to separate, but it's also a little gesture showing they want the other close. Roman: This one was hard I guess it mostly depends on the point in time/mood? Early Roman in higher spirits, def the type to initiate it. He'd be cheeky about it, maybe walking through the gardens with Pip as he talked about one of his grand time traveling adventures, maybe one completely blown out of proportion or made up just to see them laugh. As we get to more serious and scared, Pip is the one to take his in comfort, maybe bring it to hold in both of their hands as they hold it to their chest to feel their heartbeat, something soothing and sweet in hopes of easing his tired and troubled mind. After the last audio it's equal. They have each other and that's what matters most. If stood near each other, they seek the other's hand, as a way to know that no matter what- they know the other is with them; Something solid to hold onto in a mess of a world that's trying to bring them down. Jacob: In some of the many forgotten memories of Dearest, there is a Jacob that took them on an outing or a date. He was sweet and charismatic, much like the day they first met over the coffee incident. He was their knight in shiny armor that day. Jacob is the one to initiate it, having memories of the original Jacob doing these things with his partner, testing the waters and chasing the feelings he didn't quite know how to place. When he was gentle it made asking questions and digging for answers a little bit easier, Dearest not feeling so guarded and scared, maybe a few things slipped out that shouldn't, so he tried this a few different times without much luck digging deeper, their hand in his be it walking through a mall or across the table at a restaurant. It intrigued him how such a simple touch could stir such a difference in how they reacted. After he gets his core back, he's still the one to initiate it, but Dearest doesn't react so kindly to it anymore. They flinch at his touch, and it amuses him. It's the same gesture as all those other times, it was still him, but as he clasped around their hand tighter, not enough to hurt them, but to keep them with him, he could feel all the muscles in their hand tense, hear their breathing turn sharp. I'm iffy on Marlowe atm so might do a thing for him later when I know him better. Bonus: Nathaniel: Subject 328 made it back? Well that's fantastic- but they aren't going to be holding anyone's hand right now, they're a bit... tied up at the moment. That's okay though, Nathniel can hold their hand if they really want him to while he coaxes out whatever they can remember from their journey!
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kittttycakes · 7 months
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Because I am a hopeless addict for your writing and the wonderful world and relationship you have created between Morpheus and Grace and Hob, can I beg any scraps of thoughts or head canons for these three?
Don’t need specific answers to the following questions required, but these are some things I’m just (selfishly) craving to know more about them…
- Who likes to be the the biggest/littlest spoon?
- What sort of music/food/books do they prefer?
- What sections of Lucienne’s library would Grace and Hob visit first or spend the most time browsing?
- Hob and Grace’s parts of the Dreaming?
- Favourite places to travel in the waking world?
- What sort of relationships do Hob and Grace have with their coworkers?
- Do any of their coworkers or friends get a sense that there’s something a little different about Morpheus (other than his propensity to wear a wooden coat in the middle of summer)?
And of course, this wouldn’t be an ask from the cave of shame without some kind of brain filth…
- Is there room for an extra one or two people on that marble throne? Is that something one of them has ever considered before (imagining some naughty and very distracting daydreams coming from Grace or Hob for Morpheus to ‘overhear’)
- Could or would Grace ever pinch any of Morpheus’ clothing to wear (picturing her recreating that photo she took for the ex, but in one of Morpheus’ coats…)
- What is something that will immediately get each of them going?
- Have any of the Dreaming’s main residents been an accidental witness to something they’d rather not picture their boss and his partners doing?
Feel free to share your thoughts or none at all, I just needed to get these down and hopefully out of my head for a while!
You can always ask for headcanons!! I love talking about these three, just fully will not shut up about them. I’m putting this under the cut because otherwise this is going to be obnoxious on the dash:
Grace is often the littlest spoon, with Morpheus in the middle (both spooning and being spooned), and Hob on the outer edge as the biggest of spoons. All three are switches at heart, though, and this is no different, so Grace is sometimes the biggest spoon with Hob or Dream in the middle. Hob or Morpheus is, however, always closest to the door, in the waking world, putting Grace either closest to the interior of the room or safely between them.
I’ve talked a little bit before about romance novel enjoyer Grace, and that is a good chunk of what she reads in her free time for fun. Think historical romance, a bit of romantasy, and some light monster romance that she definitely hides from Hob. She’s a big fan of fiction, broadly, and she always digs a fairytale retelling or fairytale adjacent fantasy novel. Definitely likes Angela Carter.
I’m pondering what I think Hob would like reading in particular. My gut is saying classic mysteries (Agatha Christie, anyone?) and maybe some P.G. Wodehouse for fun. I wonder if Morpheus has much of a concept of reading for pleasure? That said, I like to think he might enjoy The Picture of Dorian Gray, for obvious reasons, and I would love to see how he’d feel about E.M. Forster’s Maurice.
Grace’s Spotify would be an absolute horror show. She’s a mood listener, so you’ve got 80s pop side by side with folksy alternative rubbing elbows with top 40s hits right next to classic oldies. She’s a menace to society and must be stopped. Probably quite likes Hozier.
Both Hob and Grace love the library (and Lucienne!) and spend a good portion of their time in the Dreaming there. Grace is all over the place: she’s checking out lost works that are referenced in other works that we do have, but that have no surviving copies; she’s reading (with permission) some of Hob’s love letters from the 18th century; she’s finding the never written but dreamt about sequel to her favorite novel growing up. Hob is finding that book he read once a hundred years ago that he could never remember the name of and reading work that Marlowe never had the chance to write and, very occasionally, reading a dream from the book of someone he knew and loved but lost.
Grace and Hob’s most favorite part of the Dreaming is debuting next chapter, but besides that, Grace really, truly, genuinely loves the Nightmare Sea. She likes to visit Leviathan and she likes to walk along the beach and wade out into the water a bit. She also really loves Fiddler’s Green and spends a lot of time visiting with him. Hob also is a big fan of Fiddler’s Green, and he likes the gardens. There’s also an armory that he’s surprisingly fond of.
Hob wants to take Grace everywhere that he possibly can, now that they have all the time in the world, everywhere that he’s been and quite a few places that he hasn’t besides. Hob likes to travel to certain parts of America, and Grace’s favorite is actually probably Scotland.
Both of them get on quite well with their co-workers! Hob has quite a few friends in his own department and others, as does Grace, minus her professional nemesis. They’ve been to a few co-workers weddings and other events, along with the occasional after work drink and, of course, the staff holiday parties. We haven’t had much of a chance to see them in the WIP, but Grace has a solid handful of friends, a few of whom are old school friends, a few more from her doctoral program, and then another handful from her job at the university. They’ll go out for a bit of a girls’ night occasionally or just have lunch, and overall, Grace really likes where she’s at.
The friendly and well meaning rumor mill surrounding who, exactly, Morpheus is to the two of them is absolutely thriving. Their friends and the staff at the New Inn are mostly just…bemused. Here’s this man who carries himself like a model, who dresses in unseasonable black, who pops up at the oddest hours, who isn’t exactly rude but who exudes that sort of distant politeness that makes you think he’s either very snobby or very shy, who both Hob and Grace just cannot seem to get enough of. He’s been introduced when needed as Hob’s friend and a sort of vague colleague if pressed, but there’s just something about the way he looks at the two of them…Their mutual friends who have met him have independently decided that he must be some sort of generationally wealthy artist who has some kind of psychosexual muse/artist relationship with them both because it’s easier than trying to explain why they all feel that there’s just something that isn’t quite right about him. He’s human enough, it’s just sort of at the edges…
I got your other ask too but I am always down to talk about the throne again because that absolutely is not the only time the throne has been used as a prop. It’s just something about the power, the location…Hob wants to kneel in front of it, Grace wants to sit on it, and honestly I think that says a lot about both of them, in a way! Morpheus just wants to cover them both in gold and ruby jewelry and systematically take them both to pieces on it. Hob and Grace are both incredibly distracting daydreamers and neither of them will apologize for it. I also think Grace would quite like to have Morpheus on his knees in front of it, too, but that’s something they can work up to.
Grace sees her partner’s wardrobe and immediately goes, “No, our wardrobe.” She steals Hob’s clothes frequently. T-shirts, sweaters, cardigans, any and all are fair game. She likes feeling close to him when he’s not around, she likes the ghost of his cologne on the collars, and most importantly, she likes driving Hob just a little bit insane. The same is naturally extended to Morpheus once they get to that level and she can convince him to stop just…disappearing…his clothes in the waking world. It’s the t-shirts, mostly, but she’s absolutely taken the coat again, once she saw the reaction she got from him the first time.
Hob and Morpheus both have a thing for Grace with her glasses on. She has them for reading and for screens, and she only occasionally remembers them, but when she does…both of them get a little hot under the collar for a look over the rim of her glasses at them. Hob also very much has a thing for stockings with the seam up the back. Grace really, really likes it when Hob rolls the sleeves of his button downs up his forearms, and he knows this, and shamelessly uses it to his advantage. She also goes a bit feral when Morpheus finally lets his guard down and starts wearing lower necked shirts. It’s the neck and the collarbones and the hollow of his throat, it’s intimate and vulnerable and she’s into it. All of them have a hand thing: anything to do with using the hands conspicuously, the movement of them, it’s just a bit of a turn on.
Matthew has absolutely flown in on them kissing, but that was enough for him, he’d rather not picture his boss that way, thank you very much! The residents of the Dreaming take closed doors very seriously, especially to the throne room…or Morpheus’s private rooms…or any of the towers…and also maybe avoid the gardens…
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bigyikes97 · 1 year
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THIS SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN CUT FROM THE ANIME ARGHHH
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I'm re-watching AOT and I'm SO bummed this wasn't in the anime!! I love this guy because 1) He lives in step with his outspoken convictions, BUT! Also! 2) Immediately considers Annie's rebuttal to his earlier speech about good people vs. "trash" people. This shows he is also 3) a very secure person who is 4) committed to the truth rather than being "right". Insecurity about core beliefs often makes people feel threatened by the introduction of a new, potentially challenging perspective, and triggers defensive reactions: getting mad, name-calling, leaving the conversation, gossiping. Marlowe could have gotten mad and lashed back by trying to invalidate Annie through name calling--"oh, that's just what a slacker would say!" "that's just the kind of idea I'm trying to fix!" "it's people like you that are the problem, you've got no right to speak!", but instead he quietly thinks about what she said and incorporates it into his frame of action. It's not about him being right, it's about him making sure he's doing the right thing--and he's willing to be proven wrong to get there. And ~that~ is why he is my favorite character in the whole show, and why... **SPOILERS**
He should've been the foil to Eren that he was seemingly set up to be!! Argh!!!! Multiple people compare them! They're both equally passionate, but while Eren often acts in the flash of a moment's passion, Marlowe thinks his actions through (i.e., not shooting the guards in the anime scene) and holds himself accountable to a standard higher than himself. This would have dramatically changed the flavor of the story's finale and, I think, made for a very different outcome!! They're basically mirror characters!!! What an unsung hero this guy is, the lost potential is killing meeeeee!! I'm planning rebuttal fan fiction as we speak >:(
(Maybe some studio will pull a "Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood" some years in the future and give him a spotlight...)
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fenrisisms · 8 months
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okay okay okay i’m gonna say 💕 and 👌🏻 but specifically for riva/cullen with leah & marlowe!!
mwah mwah sending u many air kisses thank u for the ask.... i am mostly gonna be focusing on riva because we both know how cullen is but <3 he gets mentions
💕 thoughts on parenting/being a parent?
i feel like cullen's gotta have some kind of complex about it right. like the templars have to give you a complex about it considering the whole marriage and kids thing is frowned upon. i feel like there's gotta be some Complex there bc when does this man Not have a complex
as for riva i truly don't know that he put a lot of thought into parenting/being a parent before like. the immediate reality that he would become one lmfao. like he's definitely heard enough stories to kind of inform An Attitude around parenting (if you're going to bring life into this world you should be prepared to love and nurture it no matter the cost) but i think he's also seen enough to know that the idea of what is best for your child is muddier waters than it would seem on the surface and that what it means to love someone and what it means to nurture someone varies from person to person and that makes parenting much much messier. i mean he travelled with alistair and morrigan aka mommy issues: the people like.
👌 do they think they are/would be a good parent?
i mean it's cullen he could hang stars in the sky for his child and he'd still find a way to do mental gymnastics to make himself a bad parent in his own eyes we all know he is forever and ever stressing about being a good dad
on the other hand riva's great hubris is he believes with 100% conviction he can BECOME good at anything and he is historically good with kids so i think he would believe with full sincerity that he could be a good parent, but as soon as it became an impending reality and not just a hypothetical question then he'd kind of have a mini crisis because he's forced to confront the fact that he doesn't actually know what it is to be a parent because he doesn't have a singular healthy parental figure to his name. like his biological parents abandoned him and all of his adoptive parental figures have kind of fallen from grace and he's spent over ten years trying to unlearn some of the nastier habits that he adopted in order to survive so i think he'd have to be like huh! i cannot pass that on to my kids so wtf do i do. and then he remembers like 80% of his friends have shit parents so he's like oh okay so i just make a list of what NOT to do and work backward from there. crisis over. and ofc he goes through all of that without saying a thing to ANYBODY because he'd rather swallow his left hand whole than have a vulnerable conversation about his emotions
i also decided while writing this that i think he actually marks isolde guerrin on the potential good role models list for the whole connor thing because i have realized some parallels and i think he is for personal reasons extremely sympathetic to her in that regard which is an interesting little character tidbit i will be devouring whole for 3-4 business days so thank u for uncovering that with this ask <3
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sheabutterskyes · 2 years
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The Mask of White Waters
LXII | Warden of the Amber Divide
– – –
Isla had wandered into the village as unthreateningly as possible – nervously waiting for the moment someone would recognize her as an outsider and strike her down before she could explain herself.
But that moment didn’t come – even when she gently reached out to a passerby on a quiet road.
The man with dark braided hair stopped, offering her his full attention with an unhurried nod of the head.
“There’s been an accident,” she pointed the direction she had come from, “I-I don’t know – I’m not sure what to-,”
“Someone’s hurt?”
She swallowed.
“Someone’s dead.”
He looked her up and down, his eyes lingering where she knew there was blood stains. But he nodded again calmly.
“Are you hurt?”
Isla shook her head, and he breathed a relieved ‘good’ before waving her along.
“Follow me,”
She followed him further into the village, turning down an alley and stopping in front of a tall three-story building.
“Wait here, I’ll be just a moment.”
The man gave a few heavy knocks on the door, before opening it and racing up a steep stairway.
Isla wiped at her eyes, her breath shaky.
She wished to be anywhere else. Alone and away from the gaze of those that could harm her or judge her.
When the door opened again, two others were following after the man with braids.
“Someone’s dead?” a tall blonde man asked her, looking at her directly.
She nodded.
“You know this person?”
She hesitated but nodded again.
“Village and region?”
She opened her mouth in silence, not knowing what to say.
He turned, speaking lowly to the young man who had followed him, his voice blending into the background as Isla’s focus became stuck on the stairs.
“Where did you leave them?”
She flinched as the man with braided hair tapped her shoulder.
She pointed towards where she had come from, “By the stream.”
“You’re not going to ask what happened?” asked the younger man.
The blonde smiled at her as she turned to look at him.
“That’s not for you to worry about right now, is it? Please do what I asked and return here when you can.”
He shooed the others away with a few more quietly spoken words, leaving the two of them alone.
He gestured to the stairs through the open door, and she quietly took a seat on one of the steps.
“I can’t say that I’ve handled a situation exactly like this before,” he began. “But right now I’m most concerned about you.”
“I’m not hurt,” she assured.
He sighed.
“I’m…,” she took a few measured breathes, searching for the word to describe how she was feeling. But even she wasn’t entirely sure.
“You’re exhausted and shocked by the looks of it. Tell me what I can do for you.”
She didn’t know how to answer that either.
“Well. At least come upstairs while we wait. If you think of anything, let me know.”
Isla leaned aside as he slowly began to ascend the stairs, turning to watch him reach the top before getting to her feet and following after him.
He waited for her at the top, gesturing to the room that opened up to the left when she hesitated.
“Make yourself comfortable.”
With that, he walked off, moving to a tall table littered with various sizes of pots, some filled with soil, and some empty. There were satchels labeled with what Isla assumed to be seeds, some which had fallen beneath the table near his feet, along with clumps of soil and crumpled papers.
The room was small and cluttered, but the high ceiling kept it from feeling cramped. Elongated windows lined the wall, letting in natural light and illuminating the lineup of potted plants on narrow tables beneath them. Isla thought she could identify some herbs among them – they were amazingly vibrant and healthy.
In the corner was… what seemed to be a makeshift kitchen area, but the majority of the space was filled with plants and books and lounges that were stacked with items. There were several doors leading to other rooms, and she idly wondered if the rooms were just as filled. The air smelled faintly of spices and fresh soil, and as she moved slowly towards a chair that was filled with less things than the others, she could see faded ink stains on the fabric.
Isla glanced at the man before carefully setting the books and jars down on the floor beside the chair.
He was filling the pots with careful attention, and it wasn’t until she sat down that she realized he was using magic. The tips of his fingers glowed as he leveled the soil, and when he sprinkled seeds into his palms, a sigil flashed in his hand.
Isla watched him work for a while before sliding deeper into the chair and gazing out the window at the cloud-streaked sky.
It all seemed too easy. How nobody had recognized her as an outsider was beyond her.
“May I ask for your name?” he asked evenly.
“Isla,” she answered steadily, still looking at the sky.
He didn’t answer immediately, walking about slowly and clinking around in the corner of the room.
It wasn’t until she turned around at the sound of his approach, that he replied.
“I’m Angel.”
She wished she had the willpower to offer him a sincere smile as he offered her a drink.
“It’s an herbal drink touched with magic. Hope you’re not allergic.”
“You’re kind,” she said, taking the heavy stone cup from him with both hands.
Angel smiled, “Lematt leaf.”
She stared down at the liquid. It was dark and opaque. The steam smelt a bit like almond and citrus.
“Lematt?”
“Drink it slowly.”
Angel returned to his work, and Isla sipped the drink, very aware of how she was soon feeling drowsy. Setting the drink down, she clenched and unclenched her hands.
Lematt?
The next moment of awareness was hazy.
She had fallen asleep.
Her mouth felt dry, and her body heavy. Even her eyes felt too heavy to open as Angel’s voice crossed the room.
“I haven’t asked her about it.”
The voice that answered his was upset, “There were claw marks on her body, Angel. She knows what happened. She was there.”
“Yes, exactly. She was there.” Angel sighed, “Whatever her reasons are for being on our land, she has gone through something traumatizing, and now she’s alone and defenseless.”
Isla fought hard to open her eyes and find her voice.
There was no hiding now, as it seemed they knew she was an outsider.
“It was a masked warrior.”
Angel came into focus, standing near the stairs. The younger Envisioner who had been there earlier was standing beside him.
They turned to look at her when she spoke.
She swallowed, “It’s my fault.”
Angel shook his head, slowly walking towards her.
“No, you can’t think like that.”
Isla sat up, rubbing at her eyes.
“I came here looking for someone. I asked a masked warrior to help me, and it – it has gone wrong.”
It felt even worse admitting it aloud.
“We can ensure that safeguards are put in place,” He said evenly, glancing over at the other Envisioner.
He nodded quickly and raced down the stairs.
Angel turned back to her when the door had slammed shut.
“Would you like a change of clothes?”
She ran a finger over the silver letters on her sweater, nodding hesitantly.
It wouldn’t be right to keep her clothes.
“Every article of clothing given to a warden is marked by the region they belong to,” he said, “When I saw you, it was obvious you weren’t the individual those clothes belong to.”
So it was obvious to others that she was an outsider… and yet here she was being taken care of?
Angel moved to the corner of the room, removing his jacket, and tending to the small fireplace.
“This sweater is marked A.D,” she said slowly. “That isn’t this region.”
“That’s right,” he answered. “You are in the Jade Valley. A.D stands for Amber Divide; a neighboring region.”
Elise had once been the warden of the Amber Divide?
There were several loud knocks from the bottom of the stairs before someone shouted up to them.
“The warden of the Jade Valley is here to see you.”
Isla perked up. Marlowe was here?
Angel crossed the room halfway before stopping and looking at her.
She nodded encouragingly.
“He’s welcome to come up,” he answered.
The footfalls that followed made her lean forward with anticipation.
It was only Marlowe who appeared at the top of the stairs, his lovely green eyes finding Angel, and then flickering to her.
“They said you’d be here,” he said with a weak smile. “I simply didn’t imagine you’d be with Angel.”
Angel exhaled, “I know this is your region, but -,”
Marlowe raised a hand, “She has all permissions and passes here. I am well aware of the situation.”
“Ah,” Angel shook his head, seeming relieved. “That’s all very well.”
“It’s all very well that she found you,” Marlowe replied. “I came here to speak to you, but do you mind if I have a word with Isla first?”
Angel quietly acquiesced, going into another room and gently closing the door behind him.
Marlowe walked to one of the windows, looking over the plants on the table before leaning back on it and meeting Isla’s gaze.
“I wanted to thank you.”
Isla could think of no reason she deserved any thanks from him. But his voice was sincere.
“I was made aware that you came into the village on your own and spoke to someone in order to take care of Elise.”
She bit her quivering lip.
“We have specific customs here that may not have been able to be carried out had you not said something when you did. So, thank you.”
She wiped at the tears flooding out from the corners of her eyes, barely withholding an audible cry when she saw the warden’s eyes become glossy.
“Nobody has lost. There is still hope.”
She nodded.
Marlowe’s gaze moved across the room.
“Angel has as much authority here as I do, regardless of whether he acts like it or not. Keep that in mind if you need something. You can trust him.”
Isla would have nodded had she not been so confused.
The warden looked back to her, making a soft sound of recognition.
“I shouldn’t be surprised he hasn’t told you,” Marlowe began.
“Angel is the warden of the Amber Divide.”
– – – – – –
TG --> @aralistar​
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k-s-morgan · 4 years
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The Evolution of Will Graham’s Darkness
This meta is mostly written for new viewers who find themselves confused by Will as a character. I’ll incorporate some bits of analysis I’ve written before into it. Let’s start with a thesis of a sort: Will is a dark character who had this darkness from the very start, even before his encounter with Hannibal: he was terrified and disgusted with it, but after meeting Hannibal, slowly, he began to embrace himself, getting bolder and bolder in his violence.
**Before the show**  
Will initially tried to get into the FBI but he didn’t pass the tests. It’s revealed in E1 of S1 when he’s ambushed by Beverly.
Beverly: Never been an F.B.I. Agent?
Will: Strict screening procedures.
Beverly: Detects instability. You’re unstable?
At the same time, Will became a police officer, working in the Homicide department. These decisions show that he's been stubbornly and rather hopelessly drawn to darkness, seeking ways to interact with it while remaining on the side of law. However, he had to leave the police, too, because he was incapable of pulling the trigger even when his life depended on it. He preferred to allow himself to get stabbed rather than to fight back and kill someone, which points to him having very serious issues with his violence. He knew that once the door in him opens, it might not close again, that if he kills or harms another person, he might be unable to stop (this is proven when he shoots Hobbs and then immediately tries to kill Stammets).
And still, Will chooses to stay close to darkness, only in safer ways. He becomes a teacher in the FBI Academy, letting himself delve into the ugliest cases from a theoretical perspective. This constant pull and struggle leave Will lonely and hostile to everyone. He avoids eye contact with people; Jack’s first impression of him was that he’s rude and arrogant (when they clashed about the name of the museum). Will is rude and haughty with his students, too – but more about it later. Alana refuses to stay alone in the room with him, thinking his instability is too fascinating and she might want to dissect it. Will has no friends; he lives in isolation with his dogs, someone who would never judge him. There are a lot of rumors about him going around, and most people don’t like him (based on Price’s and Zeller’s initial reactions as well as their later conversations on this topic). Will is lonely and pretty miserable.
S1
The first real words we hear from Will are:
Will: Everyone has thought about killing someone.
It is very demonstrative of his personality. We also get evidence right here that Will is drawn to darkness primarily, not to the idea of saving lives (although the latter helps him feel better about his urges). He delves into the minds of killers even when he isn’t involved in the investigation. He had no other reason to explore the Marlows’ murder like he did at the start of the episode, when he was simply teaching students. It’s proof that he willingly craves contact with violent and disturbed minds — it’s not like he actually tries to solve this case for real, he just imagined himself there.
Will’s first conversation with Hannibal speaks volumes about who he is — because Hannibal senses it seconds after meeting him.
Hannibal: Do you have trouble with taste?
Will: My thoughts are often not tasty.
Hannibal: Nor mine. No effective barriers.
Will: I make forts.
This exchange has Will confess that his thoughts are often dark and that he dislikes it. To hold this darkness at bay, he literally builds forts around it, not letting it spread to other parts of his mind.
Hannibal: Your values and decency are present yet shocked at your associations, appalled at your dreams. No forts in the bone arena of your skull for things you love.
Hannibal almost directly calls Will out on his struggle with his inner darkness. He’s saying that he sees it, that he knows it’s there, in Will, in his mind, and Will is very disturbed by this — because Hannibal is right. The script even explicitly backs it up:
Hannibal has just described Will Graham to a letter.
Will is immediately wary and hostile, and he ends the conversation with snappy,
Will: Please don’t psychoanalyze me. You won’t like me when I’m psychoanalyzed.
What does it mean? It’s simple: Will assumes that Hannibal is a typical psychiatrist who wants to dissect him, so he says that once it happens, Hannibal won’t like what he finds (darkness and ugliness Will carries inside).
His hostility to Hannibal lasts up until the moment when Hannibal acknowledges him as a predator and shows approval of it. This is how it happens: Hannibal tries to subtly tell him that it’s all right to be who he is, hinting that they are the same.
Hannibal: You and I are just alike. Problem free. Nothing about us to feel horrible about.
He’s obviously talking about their darkness, but Will doesn’t react, so Hannibal continues. He tells him that Jack views him as a fragile tea cup, and Will genuinely laughs, amused by this (which is also very telling). Then Hannibal says:
Hannibal: [I see you as the] mongoose I want under the house when the snakes slither by.
Will grows quiet after this, and then his interactions with Hannibal become much more relaxed. Will takes him to search the property and even bothers to explain how they reached their conclusions and what they are about to do. Him grumbling, “What are you smiling at?” shows a much higher level of familiarity they now share. Something in Hannibal’s words made Will open up a bit, and everything indicates that it’s the acknowledgement of his predatory nature that played its part in it.
Will kills Hobbs by shooting him 10 times. This is his first kill, one he’s been trying to avoid for so long, ever since his police work. It’s not surprising that Hobbs haunts him later because his death became a breaking point for Will. A door did open in him, and he was unable to close it again.
In E2, Will is distraught. But first, we get a glimpse into how rude and insensitive he generally is. Look at how he treats his students. He tersely thanks them for clapping and then snaps for them to stop. He devises a little malicious test for them.
Will: It’s [Hobbs’] resignation letter. Anybody see the clue?
A few hands go into the air. Will ignores them.
Will: There isn’t one.
He looks so long-suffering with them, as if they are idiots. The fact that he asks a question, waits for people to think and raise their hands, and only then he tells them there is actually no answer is petty at best. He also admits to Jack that he doesn’t consider lessons socialization because he doesn’t have to actually talk to students, he talks at them. Not good for a teacher or even for a person who works with other people like this.
But Will has more serious problems. He keeps imagining Hobbs, and after his messy kill, Jack becomes worried about him. He makes Will go visit Hannibal for one-time evaluation. Will is naturally not fond of the idea, but he and Hannibal have a pretty personal talk. Hannibal ends it with an even more explicit hint at Will’s own darkness:
Hannibal: And Will… the mirrors in your mind can reflect the best of yourself, not the worst of someone else.
Hannibal is talking about Will’s personal brand of violence again. He’s trying to tell him that it’s fine to be a murderer in every way he can, that Will’s darkness might be the best part of him. He also gives him a fake official approval to work in the field, showing that Will can trust him. But their obligatory session ends and Will leaves — only to return after he tries to kill Stammets and misses (their talk about it was cut from the episode but is echoed in the conversation below).
Hannibal: [You are here to] prove that sprig of zest you feel is from saving Abigail, not killing her dad.
Will: I didn't feel a sprig of zest when I shot Eldon Stammets.
Hannibal: You didn't kill Eldon Stammets.
Will: I thought about it. I'm still not entirely sure that wasn't my intention when pulling the trigger.
This is a huge evidence of Will struggling with his violence. It proves that he had it before becoming actively involved with Hannibal — all Hannibal did was recognize it and coax it to come to the surface. Will has always been like this, and after finally killing a person, he found himself unable to stop because he liked the feeling too much.
Hannibal: It wasn't the act of killing Hobbs that got you down, was it? Did you really feel so bad because killing him felt so good?*
Will: I liked killing Hobbs.
Hannibal is pleased to receive the confirmation of what he sensed in Will. Seeing that Will is terrified about his own confession, he comforts him.
Hannibal: Killing must feel good to God, too. He does it all the time, and are we not created in his image?
Let’s be honest, every sane person would have run for the hills after hearing this. Hannibal literally justifies the fact that Will liked murder by drawing a parallel with God. That’s such a narcissistic, serial killer thing to do, and yet Will welcomes it with open arms. He’s happy to find someone who doesn’t think he’s a monster — he’s relieved to be able to finally discuss his darkest impulses freely. This is the reason why Will started coming back to see Hannibal on a constant basis, to Jack’s surprise.
The next huge proof of Will’s ever-present darkness is found in E5 (actually, every episode has some bits, but I’ll cover only the major ones). The Angel Maker, a killer-of-the-week, has a unique gift of being able to see if a person is good or evil. First, Hannibal tries to tell Will that he doesn’t have to self-destruct because of his darkness like he’s been doing.
Hannibal: Angel Maker will be destroyed by what’s happening inside his head. You don’t have to be.
When Angel Maker dies, Will suddenly sees himself through his eyes. And he sees a demon. He sees himself as evil. It proves that Will’s darkness is inherent since he hasn’t done anything really bad at this point. It also proves that he’s perfectly aware of who he is and the darkness he has. He has the following conversation with the imagined Angel Maker.
Angel Maker: I see what you are.
Will: What do you see?
Angel Maker: Inside. I can bring it out of you.
Will: Not all the way out.
So, Will acknowledges that his darkness is rooted so deeply inside him, it can’t even be extracted fully. It’s an inseparable part of him.
Will is shown admiring the Ripper’s murders, calling them elegant and referring to them as art. Meanwhile, he’s trying to half-heartedly flirt with Alana, but they don’t have a meaningful connection because Will can’t be happy with a person who doesn’t know him. He wants to be normal but he just isn’t. If you’re interested in my opinion about their relationship, it’s here.
Will’s next morally gray action happens when he agrees to cover murder for Hannibal and Abigail in E9. He agrees quickly and then he’s shown being fiercely devoted to it. He doesn’t seem to care that Abigail killed someone much — in fact, he basically threatens Freddie, another person who sees him for who he is, to make her write a book favorable toward Abigail.
In E13, Hannibal says what he wants from Will directly.
Hannibal: If you followed the urges you kept down for so long, cultivated them as the inspirations they are, you’d become someone other than yourself.
Will remembers this phrase (he later throws it back into Hannibal’s face), but for now, he’s too angry and bitter to listen.
S2
Will is healthy again and he struggles with realization that Hannibal betrayed him. He starts a dark game of his own: he pretends he’s vulnerable, moving Alana to tears in the process, and asks Hannibal for help. He’s still drawn to him, but he also wants to take him down — for himself and for Abigail.
In E1, Hannibal tells Will the purpose of all their past meetings, how they were aimed at helping Will Become.
Hannibal: Our conversations, Will, were only ever about you opening your eyes to the truth of who you are.
Alana tries to hypnotize Will to help him remember what happened.
Alana: Imagine yourself in a safe and relaxing place... safe and secure here, safe to relax completely...
What does Will imagine? He sees Hannibal’s room and them sitting at the murder table together. He’s freaked out by it, but it proves how twisted his perception is: regardless of the betrayal, a part of him understands that Hannibal is the only person who’s ready to accept him, and he feels safe with him. @bloodsmile wrote a great meta about it here.
Will coldly manipulates Beverly, refusing to help her save lives unless she helps him as well. In E5, he engages in yet another manipulation. He gets Matthew Brown to try to kill Hannibal. This is the first premeditated murder attempt Will is responsible for. That is why we see him growing horns, that is why he sees a sink full of blood — his darkness starts progressing in noticeable ways. By E7, Will has figured out that Hannibal really did everything to open his eyes to the truth of who he is and that he wants to be his friend, but as he still wants revenge, he decides to honey-trap him with Jack.
In E8, Will is dealing with his complex feelings for Hannibal and explores his darkness further. He admits that Hannibal made him feel less alone and that he doesn’t hate him, no matter what; that he has no idea what he feels for him. Then Will tries to kill Ingram in cold blood as revenge for Peter. He asks him to pick up the hammer, indicating that he plans for the murder to look like self-defense. Hannibal tries to talk him out of it, but Will still pulls the trigger. It’s by a miraculous accident that Hannibal manages to stop him. This is the second conscious murder attempt by Will.
In E9, Will has a dream about Hannibal, love, and darkness.
Dream Hannibal: Must I denounce myself as a monster while you still refuse to see the one growing inside you?
Meaning: Will is fully aware of both the presence of this monster inside him and his attempts to ignore it since this is his dream.
Dream Hannibal: No one can be fully aware of another human being unless we love them. By that love we see potential in our beloved. Through that love we allow our beloved to see their potential. Expressing that love, our beloved's potential comes true.
So, a part of Will realizes that Hannibal loves him, and that he really wants him to Become, to realize all his potential.
Will is shown as feeling bitter at Hannibal for not letting him kill Ingram.
Will: I regret what I did in the stables.
Hannibal (thinking Will means murder attempt): Then you were lucky I was there.
Will: Being lucky isn't the same as making a mistake. Mistake was allowing you to stop me.
Hannibal: So it’s not pulling the trigger that you regret. It’s not pulling it effectively.
Will: That would be more accurate.
Hannibal: I want you to close your eyes, Will, and imagine a version of events you wouldn't have regretted.
Will obeys, and he sees himself murdering Ingram. It proves that every word he says to Hannibal is true — he really does regret not killing him. But there is an even creepier dialogue ahead.
Hannibal: What did you see?
Will: A missed opportunity… to feel like I felt when I killed Garret Jacob Hobbs. To feel like I felt when I thought I killed you … a quiet sense of power.
This is disturbing. It proves once again that Will isn’t just a righteous killer, he enjoys the act of murder itself, and like many serial killers, he craves the feeling of power that comes with it.
He and Hannibal talk about the intimacy of murder, how Will was hiding behind a gun when he tried to kill Hannibal back in E5. Will takes note of it. Hannibal, remembering Will’s complaint about a missed opportunity, sends Randall to him as a gift. When Randall breaks into Will’s house, Will is shown thinking and then deliberately throwing the gun away. He doesn’t want to hide this time — he attacks Randall with his bare hands. This isn’t about self-defense or justice, this is about Will trying to experience a more intimate kind of murder. He beats Randall up until he’s incapacitated and then he snaps his neck, even though there was no reason to do it. He could easily call Jack and have Randall arrested at this point (since he was barely conscious and not fighting back). This could help him in his plan to catch Hannibal. But Will isn’t particularly concerned about it, he’s more interested in realizing his darkness.
He takes the body to Hannibal. This moment got deleted, but Will actually had to stick a note to it:
A piece of paper is pinned to his chest. On it is written: "Return to Sender."
Which excellently shows Will’s dark humor. He laughs with Hannibal a little as they talk about murder right above the corpse. Then Hannibal is treating his hands, and he says:
Hannibal: Stay with me.
Will: Where else would I go?
Nowhere — because Will understands that Hannibal is the only person who can understand his darkness and accept him for who he is.
Will: I've never felt more alive than when I was killing him.
This is, once again, huge. Will is a murderer who can get dangerously high on the act. The moment when he felt most alive is the moment when he took a life from another person — and he was vicious about it. Will is very, very dark in these scenes — and it’s going to get worse.
Will mutilates the body and places it in the museum. He keeps Randall’s suit in his house as a trophy, and he keeps his butchered parts of meat in his fridge. In the following discussion, Will confirms that he enjoyed doing all that. When Hannibal suggests that Randall’s killer felt disdain for him in front of Jack, Will disagrees.
Will: He isn't mocking him. This isn't disdain. He's commemorating him.
Hannibal: This killer has no fear for the consequences of what he's done.
Will: No guilt.
Then Will retreats into his mind to talk to Randall’s corpse.
Will: Hello again.
Randall: Come closer … Can you see you?
Will: Clearer and clearer.
This proves Will’s honesty in all his discussions with Hannibal. He really is exploring his violence, not just pretending to do it, coming to the realization of what kind of monster he is.
Will: You forced me to kill you.
Randall: I didn't force you to enjoy it.
This takes place in Will’s head, so every word is genuine.
Will: I gave you what you want. This is who you are. What you feel finally matches the reality of what I see.
Randall: This is my becoming. And yours.
Will shakes his head, this is not his becoming.
Will: This is my design.
So, what do we have here? Will calls murder, mutilation, and storage of Randall’s meat his design. It’s not his Becoming, not yet, Will isn’t ready to fully embrace himself, but this is a start. He understands his design now.
In the same E10, Will attacks Freddie when she discovered his trophies. We know he didn’t kill her, but would he have done it if she hadn’t called Jack? We can only guess. Will sure took his chance to be creepy and physically violent with her. At the end of the episode, he brought Randall’s meat to Hannibal and they cooked as well as ate it together. This was not about getting Hannibal to trust him. Hannibal already did, especially after thinking Will killed Freddie, so there was simply no need for it. Bryan Fuller confirmed Jack had no idea this happened, so Will was acting on his own, out of his genuine curiosity. This is where he willingly became a cannibal.
In E11, Will dreams of burning fake Freddie and hears himself screaming. It’s easy to interpret this dream: he feels guilty for betraying Hannibal. Alana comes by and Will is being deliberately creepy again. He gives her a gun for protection, but later, it almost becomes her undoing. Will is equally creepy during the funeral. He enjoys being dark, and he feels free to act like this because technically, he has an excuse.
In E12, Will is freshly angry at Hannibal. He fantasizes about murdering Hannibal in the most violent way possible. Then he makes three deals. The first one is with Mason: they agree to kill Hannibal together. The second one is with Hannibal: they tentatively agree to target Mason together. The third one is with Jack: they agree that when Hannibal tries to kill Mason, Will is going to arrest him. Will goes with his and Mason’s plan at first. Hannibal is kidnapped and presented in front of Will just like in his fantasy. But instead of acting on it, Will chooses Hannibal and frees him, getting all Mason’s people killed in the process. Later, he watches Hannibal mutilate Mason, approach him to kill him, and snap his neck. He does nothing: he ignores his deal with Jack completely and covers for Hannibal. Yet another proof that Will is siding with Hannibal more and more, and that his initial honey-trapping plan is almost a formality at this point. At the end of the episode, Will offers Hannibal to kill Jack.
In E13, Hannibal and Will are getting ready to kill Jack while Will and Jack are getting ready to arrest Hannibal. Will doesn’t seem to know on whose side he is until the end. At the same time, he lies to Jack about where the attack is supposed to take place. He helps Hannibal burn all evidence, even though he could have easily preserved some of it to use it later. He burns the evidence related to himself as well. Will doesn’t take Hannibal’s chance to run away before dinner, but he does hesitate and wonder about it. When the final moment comes, he calls Hannibal to warn him — he chooses him above everyone. Justice for Abigail, justice for himself, the desire to save other people — none of it matters to Will now. He made his choice, he chose his side, but he did it too late. When he goes to Hannibal’s house, Alana tells him that Jack is still inside, and Will takes out his gun. He doesn’t even try to point it at Hannibal. When Hannibal accuses him of lying, Will implies that he’s wrong.
Hannibal: I gave you a rare gift… But you didn't want it.
Will isn't so definitive.
Will: Didn't I?
Because yes, Will wanted it. He was ready to accept it. But he did so too late.
S3
Will’s thoughts are only about Hannibal and Abigail. He breaks into Hannibal’s empty house and sits there in silence. When Alana comes to find him and tries to talk to him, he coldly sends her away. He’s repairing a boat to go after Hannibal. When Jack comes to him to ask about his motivations, Will is very open — he doesn’t care about hiding any more.
Jack: Do you remember when you decided to call Hannibal?
Will: I wasn't decided when I called him. I just called him. I deliberated while the phone rang. I decided when I heard his voice.
Jack: You told him we knew.
Will: I told him to leave. Because I wanted him to run.
Jack: Why?
Will: Because he was my friend. And because I wanted to run away with him.
In Italy, Will is full of regret over his actions. He blames himself for what happened, admonishes himself for lying to Hannibal. E2 shows his state of mind perfectly – Hannibal is his everything and he admits he wants to be with him. He doesn’t care about justice at all.
Will: I do feel closer to Hannibal here. God only knows where I would be without him … He left [me] his broken heart. He misses [me]. [I] still want to go to him? Yes.
He admires the corpse twisted into a heart, touching it and then lying at the place where it was located. He intimidates Pazzi who tries to talk sense into him and indicates that he’s not here to catch Hannibal.
Will: You couldn't catch him when he was just a kid, what makes you think you're going to catch him now?
Pazzi: You.
A small, polite scoff from Will, unable to take his eyes off the small stairwell to the catacombs.
Will: What makes you think I want to catch him?
Later:
Will: You shouldn't be down here alone.
Pazzi: I’m not alone. I'm with you.
Will: You don’t know whose side I’m on.
Pazzi stares at Will, cautious.
Pazzi: What are you going to do when you find him? Your Il Mostro?
Will: I'm curious about that myself.
Pazzi: You're already dead, aren't you?
Other people realize how dark Will is, too.
Then we move toward Will’s trip to Lithuania in E3. His reverent attitude to Hannibal begins to change once he meets Chiyoh, but he admits the following:
Will: I’ve never known myself as well as I know myself when I’m with him.
Will learns that Chiyoh has been staying here for all these years because she doesn’t want to kill another person. He notes that they can’t be sure whether her prisoner really killed Mischa because Hannibal is the only person who knows the truth. Despite all this, Will sets Chiyoh up to kill or be killed, releasing her prisoner secretly. Chiyoh rightfully accuses him of it:
Chiyoh: You said Hannibal was curious if I would kill. You were curious, too.
He was, if he is honest with himself.
What Will did was cruel and violent. Hannibal just left Chiyoh be, he openly and boldly risked her life, not caring about her safety or about whether her tortured prisoner deserves this. Will stays behind to make the body into art in Hannibal’s style, in accordance with his own design from when he killed Randall. This Will is dark and confident, and very in touch with his dark side. He dreams of killing Chiyoh and keeps asking her whether she saw what a monster she was, unable to accept the idea that only he has real darkness while Chiyoh doesn’t and that murder didn’t make her feel good. He repeats to Jack that a part of him will always want to be with Hannibal. Sadly, he then sees Bedelia as his replacement, grows even bitterer, and tries to attack Hannibal with the knife.
In E7, Will bites into Cordell’s cheek and tears a piece of meat out of it. Then he looks at Hannibal to see his reaction, waiting for his pride. He shows zero reaction to the news that Jack is alive — he doesn’t care about it. He rebukes Alana and shows that he still sees himself and Hannibal as a team, referring to them as “we”.
Will: You helped Mason Verger find us.
Alana: I helped Mason find Hannibal. We followed Bâtard-Montrachet when we should have just followed you.
Will: Almost as ugly as what Mason wants to do to us is the fact that he can do it with the tacit agreement of people sworn to uphold the law.
Alana: I was trying to get to Hannibal before you. I knew you couldn't stop yourself. So I had to try.
Will: By facilitating torture and death.
Alana: I can abide the thought of Hannibal tortured, not necessarily to death. I'd say he has it coming, wouldn't you? Or maybe you wouldn't.
Alana can no longer deny Will’s twisted morals. Will tries to push Alana to a darker side, manipulating her into releasing Hannibal, by telling her almost exactly what he and Hannibal were discussing in S2.
Will: Then you have to evolve, Alana. You have to spill blood. By your own hand or someone else's.
After the escape, Hannibal says the words that define Will perfectly:
Hannibal: You delight in wickedness and then berate yourself for the delight.
This is exactly what Will does — he acts on his darkness again and again, but then he gets scared and makes two steps back. He’s not ready to fully let go of the idea of a normal life yet.
Will sends Hannibal away. When Jack arrives, Will doesn’t even bother to pretend he tried to arrest him — he just says that Hannibal is gone. Jack clearly has zero trust in him at this point since he sends people to break into Will’s house without asking his permission. Will has completely discredited himself, proving himself as someone dark and twisted.
But Hannibal gives himself up and 3 years pass. After the epic Europe failure and his new insecurities, Will tries to retreat again. He decides to try being normal one more time, despite his previous failures at suppressing his darkness and his feelings for Hannibal. So he marries Molly, and it goes as well as expected. Their relationship is shown as weak from the start. The first time we see them, they are apart: Molly and Walter have gone fishing, which is what Will loves and dreamed of sharing with Abigail, yet he stays behind. He didn't let go of the past. He subtly manipulates Jack into talking Molly into urging him to come join the investigation — he deliberately leaves them alone under a weak excuse, knowing very well what Jack is about to do. Will is bored with his normal life and he misses Hannibal, even if he isn’t ready to fully admit it yet.
His treatment of Molly deserves a separate mention: this is the woman he lies to through his teeth, the woman whose “I love you” he doesn’t bother to return and who he doesn’t want to interact with the second she raises the topic he finds personally uncomfortable, someone he leaves her at the first opportunity. He never told her the truth about himself. The way Molly tries to joke about him having a criminal mind proves that she knows nothing of Will's dark struggles, and the way Will immediately shuts down demonstrates their incompatibility and his unwillingness to be honest and open with her.
On the very first day, Will demands to see Hannibal, lying about having to restore his mindset. We know it’s a lie because we’ve just seen him reconstruct Francis’ murder perfectly. He just wanted to see him because he missed him, and both Hannibal and later Bedelia call him out on it.
E9:
Hannibal: You just came here to look at me. Came to get the old scent again. Why don't you just smell yourself?
E10:
Bedelia: Have you been to see him?
Will: Yes.
Bedelia: Haven't learned anything, have you? Or did you just miss him that much?
This is what Hannibal says about Will’s marriage — and another reference to his darkness:
Hannibal: How did you choose yours? Readymade wife and child to serve your needs. A stepson or daughter – (off his look) – a stepson absolves you of any biological blame. You know better than to breed. Can’t pass on those terrible traits you fear the most.
This is very accurate and Will doesn’t bother to deny it. He’s more concerned about stalking Bedelia and asking her about her relationship with Hannibal than anything else. He makes zero efforts to preserve his family, which shows how irrelevant they are to him. This makes him a very cold and cruel person. Also, the way he acts with Bedelia is very different from how he acts with others. With her, he can be himself. He’s dark, relatively confident, and dangerous — which is likely why he keeps coming back to her. With others, he still puts on a rather meek mask.
There is quite a solid idea that a part of Will knew Hannibal might target Molly and Walter and send Francis after them (it’s up to interpretation, though). Hannibal gives Will very clear hints.
Will: Tell me who [the killer] is.
Hannibal: I don’t know who he is. When you close your eyes, Will... is that your family you see?
[Will scoffs at this.]
Will: Do you know who they are?
Hannibal: Yes. 
Will: And you're willing to let them die.
Hannibal: They're not my family, Will. And I'm not letting them die. You are.
These are huge hints, and since Will is supposed to be an excellent profiler — more than that, a profiler who understands Hannibal intimately, it’s strange that he didn’t even suspect anything. Maybe a part of him subconsciously wanted proof that Hannibal is in love with him — since he goes to Bedelia with his question right after the attack. Maybe he wanted reassurance that the passion is still there. Maybe he even wanted an excuse to abandon Molly and Walter (and he does it very easily an episode later).
Ultimately, Will seems genuinely infuriated by the attack, but it’s possible that “the enemy inside him” secretly hoped for such outcome. He spends about a minute being truly angry at Hannibal — then he becomes concerned that he’s competing with Francis for Hannibal’s attention, which underlines the irrelevance of his family to him once more. When talking to Walter, Will doesn’t try to hug him or actually comfort him. They are like strangers, and Will shows resentment about having to explain some facts about himself to Walter later.
Will: He read about me in a Freddie Lounds article. I had to justify myself to an eleven year old.
Not “to my son”, but an indifferent and impersonal “11 year old”. Another reminder that Will is a cold person.
This attack made Will realize Hannibal is in love with him, and it finally started the process of his Becoming. Will is shown as full of resentment toward Jack and Alana. He callously sets up Chilton, an innocent person, for torture and death in E12. He explicitly says that he did it deliberately and doesn’t regret it.
Will: Damn if I'll feel … The divine punishment of the sinner mirrors the sin being punished. Chilton languished unrecognized until Hannibal the Cannibal. He wanted the world to know his face.
Bedelia: Now he doesn't have one.
At first, Will makes a half-hearted attempt at denial.
Will: I put my hand on his shoulder for authenticity.
Bedelia: To establish he really told you those insults about the Dragon? Or had you wanted to put Dr. Chilton at risk? Just a little?
Will: I wonder.
Bedelia: Do you really have to wonder?
Will: No.
Bedelia: You were curious what would happen, that's apparent. Is this what you expected?
Will sounds very ironic.
Will: I can't say I'm surprised.
Bedelia: Then you may as well have struck the match. That's participation. Hannibal Lecter does indeed have agency in the world. He has you.
Considering the timing, Chilton looks like Will’s courtship gift to Hannibal. This is the second time Will harms an innocent person, which makes him far darker than a righteous killer should be. And why? Just because. His darkness is really evolving.
When Will visits Chilton with Jack, he openly lies to him (Jack) and tells him Hannibal is responsible for what happened.
In E13, Will stages another deadly game. He plots with Francis to break Hannibal free — the immediacy of his plan makes it look like Will has already been thinking about it before. He lies to Jack and Alana. He hides the fact that Francis is alive from them, and when they discover it by themselves, he offers a plan: to use Hannibal as a bait and stage his escape. Jack begins to plan everything. If Will had actually followed this plan, it would have gotten Hannibal and Francis killed. But Will doesn’t care about justice — he wants Hannibal free and he doesn’t give a damn about the consequences. He shares his true intentions with Bedelia and threatens her.
Will: I don't intend Hannibal to be caught a second time.
Bedelia studies Will. Sensing where he might be going. Hoping she is wrong. A flicker of alarm plays in her eyes.
Bedelia: Can't live with him. Can't live without him. Is that what this is?
Will: I guess… this is my Becoming . I'd pack my bags if I were you, Bedelia. Meat's back on the menu … Ready or not… here he comes.
This is a crucial moment because while in S2, Will called Randall’s murder his design, now he’s finally Becoming. It’s the climax of everything. He leaks info about Hannibal’s transfer to Francis (who, if you recall, has attacked Will’s wife and her son). He gets many officers murdered by proxy; he sets up Jack and destroys him professionally again; he endangers Alana and her family as well as Molly and Walter. Without showing even an ounce of regret toward the dead officers, Will climbs out of the car. We don’t get to see it, but this is what he does according to the script:
Will takes the gun off the dead cop.
Still with no care, he watches how Hannibal throws another body out of the car and offers Will to take a seat. Will looks long-suffering and fond, even though he has just gotten about 5 people killed. He goes with Hannibal.
In the cliff house, he admits he’s not sure if he can “save” himself by killing Hannibal.
Will: I don't know if I can save myself. And maybe that's just fine. 
He intends to try, though, but when Francis attacks, Will naturally chooses Hannibal because he can’t see him killed. He reaches for his gun and the fight begins. Seeing Francis strangling Hannibal, Will pulls out the knife from his body and rushes to protect him. He and Hannibal kill Francis together, and Will plunges the knife into him with obvious relish. Then he admires the way the blood looks on his hand.
Will: It really does look black in the moonlight.
This is proof of how Will remembers everything Hannibal has ever said to him. He reaches out to embrace Hannibal, finally allowing himself this weakness, finally accepting that this is who he is and that there is no way back.
Hannibal: See? This is all I ever wanted for you, Will. For both of us.
Will: It’s beautiful.
These words have a tremendous worth. Hannibal’s dream for them, the one he has been hoping for since early S1, has just become realized, and Will found it beautiful. The script confirms it additionally:
A moment as Will considers the brutal pack hunting he shared with Hannibal Lecter. He genuinely feels it is beautiful.
Upon this realization, Will gives the fate the last chance to stop himself and Hannibal, knowing that if they live, they’ll unleash their mutual darkness on the world. He pushes them off the cliff that has been confirmed to have no rocks by Hannibal, giving them a chance to survive. And they do — and they stay together and hunt. Will threatened Bedelia with being eaten and he kept his promise. The deleted epilogue to the series shows him and Hannibal in perfect harmony with each other.
Note that this is far from the only moments and details of Will’s long Becoming. There are many more, but if I addressed them, this meta would be even longer. However, here’s a quick analysis of Will’s softer sides — because they also aren’t as simple as it might seem at first. Will seems to sympathize only with people he can relate to personally, who remind him of himself in some way, and most often, they are murderers. He’s bitter about not being able to save killer-children in E4 because like them, he struggles with understanding what family means; he feels close to Georgia because he also thinks he’s losing his mind and no one can understand him; he’s gentle with Peter because he sees him as his fragile mirror; he’s soft with Reba because like Bryan said, they are both people in love with serial killers. With everyone else, Will is indifferent or cold. These traits were less visible in S1, but after he started to Become, they began to come to the surface. His softer sides still have a degree of selfishness to them.
So, Will has always had darkness in him. He has always been a rather cold person despite his genuine struggles, confusion, and the desire to be normal. Hannibal changed his life, helping him embrace himself and find unconditional love and acceptance. Will’s journey was very long, it had many setbacks, but in the end, he made it. They both did, and now they are free to enjoy their new life together.
Tagging some old fans who might be interested! @typicalher @hannibalized @bloodsmile @victorineb @he-s-dead-jim
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TXT Universe Theory: The Dream Chapter
Hello and welcome back to another one of my theories! This theory will be quite long and will take into account everything in the first chapter of TXT’s story. I won’t be doing Minisode 1 or either of the Chaos Chapters yet cause it will give us all a headache if I do, so yes, there will be things missing. Believe me, I know, I’m just pretending like I don’t know anything for the sake of my mind XD Let’s dive into the theory!
The Protagonists
Name: Choi Yeonjun
Keywords: Promise, guilty, sleepless, apricity 
Association: Paranoid Park
Metamorphosis: Horns
Songs: Crown, Magic Island
Yeonjun is, perhaps, more relevant than his character wishes he was. Paranoid Park, the book (and perhaps also movie) he’s associated with, talks about a 16-year-old boy who accidentally kills a policeman and tries to cope with it while simultaneously hiding what he did. Yeonjun’s guilt can be seen almost everywhere. His Dream-Self grows horns during Nap of a Star, which are generally associated with evil and destruction, and in Crown he expresses his fear of being evil.
In the teasers for Magic Island he says “I think there’s someone else aside from us #itsmyfault”. And in the teasers for The Dream Chapter: Eternity he adds the hashtags #imscared #itwasjustajoke when revealing his association. He did something that makes him feel guilty. He possibly didn’t kill anyone (I mean, if anyone did, it’s most likely Beomgyu, but that’s not here nor there), but it hasn’t been revealed yet what he did do.
I associate Magic Island with him because it talks about promises and about the Odd Eye Cat, which I will talk about more in detail later, but suffice to say the Odd Eye Cat might have something against Yeonjun. There is a small chance that Yeonjun feels guilty about having forgotten their promise with the Star, since his word is promise. Everyone forgot, but maybe he’s more emotionally aware of it.
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Name: Choi Soobin
Keywords: Tomorrow, invisible, understanding, apricity
Association: Le Doulos
Metamorphosis: Elongated ears
Songs: Eternally
Soobin is on the opposite side of the coin with Yeonjun. He too is aware about the promise with the Star, but in a very different way. He is perhaps what we would define as a traditional protagonist, as he can hear the voice of the Star well before anyone else can, even if he can’t remember the promise. The first time we see him perceiving the voice is in Magic Island, that is when he starts to feel separated from the group. He’s still unaware of it, but he knows something that the others don’t and that puts a wall between them. In the Magic Island teaser he uses the hashtag “#IThinkImTheOnlyOneWhosDifferent”, and in the Eternity concept photos he says “Why am I the only one having a hard time?” and “Everything is your fault”. He is also tagged as invisible, which alludes to the fact that he feels distanced from the others, and is also the only one to get no interactions on his posts. The fact that he’s blaming someone might be that he’s aware of the voice or that he knows someone in the group messed up.
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Name: Choi Beomgyu
Keywords: Hope, unfair, relief, serenity
Association: The Catcher in the Rye
Metamorphosis: Spines on the back
Songs: ???
Beomgyu is an interesting if confusing character. Based on how he acts in the MVs, he seems to be rather headstrong and confident, much like the main character, Holden, of Catcher in the Rye, a story strongly related to growing up and leaving the innocence of childhood behind. Holden considers adults (and his life) to be quite unfair, doesn’t trust them, and wants to become a protector of the innocence of other children. However, much like Beomgyu, he’s rather headstrong and careless, moving forward without much consideration, which often gets him in trouble. These aspects can be seen reflected on the Magic Island Teaser, where he writes “What’s the problem? Let’s just do it. #rewind #hope #CantTrustAnyone, as well as the Port teasers from Eternity where he says things like “Who saw me that day?”, “We were all together then, right?” and “I don’t think this is the world I used to know” (which is tagged with “unfair”), and uses the hashtags #NothingToHide, #IsItMyFault?”. We do see him start the fire in both the Magic Island Teaser and MV, which might hint to the fact that he feels it’s unfair to blame him when they were all there, and he doesn’t actually believe himself to be at fault. He was just taking care of them.
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Name: Kang Taehyun
Keywords: Clue, suspicious, breathe, serenity
Association: Philip Marlowe
Metamorphosis: Star eye
Songs: ???
Taehyun’s character is observant and prefers to stay on the sidelines to catch every detail before casting his judgement. In the Magic Island Teaser he says “There’s got to be a way out” with the hashtag #LetsThinkAboutIt, plus, in the Port Teasers from Eternity, he keeps a reasonable suspicion on his team members about who’s truly at fault and uses the hashtags #EverybodyLies and #IWantToKnowTheTruth. This ties in well with his associated character, Philip Marlowe, the private detective. Both characters keep a distance and analyze everything carefully, never resorting to violence. It is worth noting that he keeps Yeonjun’s teddy bear at the end of Run Away, which in the teasers is labelled as “clue”. Taehyun is always observing.
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Name: Huening Kai
Keywords: Secret, lonely, longing, apricity
Association: Stand by me
Metamorphosis: Wings
Songs: Nap of a star
Huening Kai is perhaps one of the most complicated and mysterious characters in the story, since his role isn’t as established as the others. He’s constantly out of the loop about the situation that is happening, which is demonstrated by phrases like “What the hell is happening?” (Magic Island Teaser) and “What happened?” (‘Port’ Teasers) as well as the hashtags #OnTheSidelines and #IKnowNothing, as well as two of his keywords being secret and lonely. His associated media is also interesting, as Stand by me talks about a man remembering the trip he did with three of his friends when they were 12 to find the body of a missing boy. At the end of the movie, the main character Gordie, recalls his friends and comments on how much he’ll always miss them and how he’s never had friendships like that again. This raises the question if perhaps one of the boys would be the dead kid the others are trying to find. Kai being kept out of the loop could point to him being it, as he’s always trying to reach for them but can’t quite do it, however it could also be argued that either Yeonjun or Soobin could fill that space as well.
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The Setting: The Real World vs The Dream World
Back on the very early BTS theories, a lot of us didn’t think time travel or time loops were the answer, but it turned out we were wrong. At first, when working on this theory, I wasn’t sure where I should draw the distinction between reality and fantasy. In the end, I’ve decided that everything is real but in different ways, and I’ve decided to make the distinction between the Real World and the Dream World; after all, this is called the Dream Chapter.
The Real World is, you guessed it, pretty much just our normal world. Nothing magical or physics-law-breaking to be seen here. The Dream World is, well, a world made of dreams. But remember I said everything is real (I know the names I gave the two realities contradict this, hit me up if you have better suggestions). Whatever happens in the Dream World is just as real as whatever happens in the Real World, it’s just in a different plane of existence. It might also be of interest to note that sometimes these worlds blend. 
So, if everything is real in the Dream World, what is real in the Real World? This is a complicated question because even our characters struggle telling reality apart from the dreams, especially because the dreams aren’t just dreams. The fires that occur in Run Away and Can’t You See Me are very much symbolic, but them jumping into the Dream World through the subway in Magic Island is real. The visions they have in Eternally aren’t happening in the Real World either. It’s just a matter of what is supported through other clues and pieces of evidence, which I’ll try to provide.
The Story
So, you know, what is like… happening? Everything is extremely confusing and it took me a while to understand that pretty much all videos are happening like, at the same time? As in, it’s the same event but from different perspectives and slightly different intervals of time. So let’s try to lay down a cohesive timeline.
It all starts with the events narrated in Nap of a Star. When they were children, the five of them (or well, maybe I should say six) met through the Dream world and became such good friends that they promised to meet there again. However, as it happens, they grew up and forgot about it, meeting once again many years later through the school and the company without remembering each other. 
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While growing up, they have gone through many different things that have hurt and changed them, which manifested in their dream bodies as the “imperfections” that they all have. I believe these imperfections are tied to each of their characters: horns tend to represent evil, which ties in with Yeonjun feeling guilty and blaming himself for everything. Kai’s wings look angel-like, which fits his sweet personality who helps the “demon” (Yeonjun) and is always believing the best about his friends. Beomgyu is very defensive, which translates into his porcupine-like spines. Soobin is a good listener (plus he’s literally the first one to hear the Star’s voice) and Taehyun is good at observing the others. So these are all manifestations of how life has shaped them to be who they are now.
They become very good friends once again and get along well, nice! However, we know things are not perfect, and they have to confront a series of personal conflicts. Especially Yeonjun, who’s so overcome by the negativity in his life that he starts a fire that can’t be put out in Run Away. This fire is metaphorical, and represents all the pain and stress he’s been dealing with. So what do they do? They try to find an escape from all their troubles.
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There’s two ways this could’ve happened: the first one is that they stumble with the Dream World by accident on the Run Away MV when they go in through the pool. This seems fitting because of their reactions. After that they research it and Soobin discovers that there’s a secret magical entrance at a train station, as we can see in the Sanctuary Photo Teasers from the Magic comeback in the official BigHit website. The other option is that this accidental discovery didn’t happen and they simply researched. This would turn their visit in Run Away into a “summary” of sorts of their first impression of the place.
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[Translation:
Soobin: I saw how to find the hidden magic platform?
Soobin: When you close and open your eyes there, your dream becomes reality
Taehyun: Woah, cool
Taehyun: (not sure about this one) for real?
Soobin: Should we go together?]
Either way, they get there. Of course, as shown by the door being set on fire at the end of Run Away when Yeonjun looks at it, his worries aren’t entirely gone, but at least they’re under control now, or so it seems. This part of the video also ties in with the end of Nap of a Star. All of the children come together to help the “monster” and they reunite at the Dream World once again, awakening the Star.
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After this, though, weird things begin to happen. Someone or something is trying to reach out to them, and causes them to have really strange dreams. This entity, presumably the Star as marked by the pieces of dialogue, even follows them to their practice room, and keeps begging them to remember them. Yes, I think the Practice Room Ghost and the Star are the same character (and I also think they represent MOA, in a way). 
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[Translation: Remember my name.]
Here’s where the visions in Eternally come into play. The individual vision each of them has is, physically speaking, nothing more than that: a vision or dream. So they start having these visions, and some of them, especially Soobin who keeps hearing the Star’s voice, start doubting their reality. Plus, weird things start happening in their practice room, so no doubt they end up hearing about the Practice Room Ghost.
They have a conversation about it on the subway, and Soobin goes to mention he had a weird dream but then he backtracks. Obviously, he’s talking about the vision we see in Eternally, because he even says he always wakes up crying from it. In a split second, they decide to stop at the Magic Island using the method that Soobin found previously, and they go have fun there.
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[Translation:
Yeonjun: Did you hear about the practice room’s mirror ghost?
Beomgyu: *sland for shivering* A ghost? Wow
Taehyun: I heard about it. There’s no ghosts, you’re just tired and saw wrong.
Soobin: I’ve had weird dreams lately *cries* Maybe it was because I’m tired...
Kai: Did you have a scary dream again?
Soobin: (deleted message) In the dream we...
Yeonjun: Ah, I shouldn’t have said anything.
Beomgyu: What’s scary about this? If there’s a real ghost let’s go and check at night *laughs*
Kai: Hyungs, stop talking about scary things please *cries*
Taehyun: Beomgyu hyung is joking about this too??
Yeonjun: Should we just go to Ttukseom?]
Naturally, things go wrong, what else were we expecting? Their antics end up setting the magic forest on fire, until they end up destroying the whole Dream World, and it leads us to the start of Eternally. One thing I believe to be very interesting is how, when they’re trapped in the storm, Soobin keeps touching his ears, Kai touches his chest like in Nap of a Star, and Beomgyu touches his shoulder. Yeonjun and Taehyun aren’t properly shown but they probably also touch the affected places.
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I would argue that Can’t You See Me? is also just a reinterpretation of the conflict they’re going through, both within themselves but also as a group, because they did just destroy their secret place. This is pretty much where the current timeline ends. I’m a bit uncertain if they’re trapped in the Dream World or outside of it without being able to go back, because Taehyun does mention wanting to go back in the Port teasers, but he doesn’t specify where. I want to bet that they’re trapped in the Dream World but I do need to analyze the Chaos Chapter better to decide that.
The Practice Room Star
Yes, this is a play on words, as I fully believe that the Practice Room Ghost and the Star are both the same entity. When they were kids, they made a promise with the Star, but they’ve forgotten it with time, and now that they have reunited and found their way into the Dream World again, the Star wants them back. The Star is probably a very powerful being, since they are able to interfere with the Real World to reach to them, enough to make them confused about their own reality. Their bond seems to be stronger with Soobin, who’s even able to hear them reach out on occasion. It’s uncertain what exactly it is that they want.
The Visions (Eternally MV)
The night of the last day & Song of a Star (Soobin’s visions)
Eternally starts at the end of Magic Island, with the Dream World completely in ruins. Eternally happens before Magic Island, so this dream Soobin has at the beginning is nothing but a prophecy. In the dream, he is holding a book, which we also see Beomgyu with. I think this book is the one they got the information about the Dream World during the Magic era, since the cover is very similar to the symbols we can see in Run Away. 
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I believe Song of a Star is the Star reaching out to him. He’s the first one to be able to hear the Star, as shown in Magic Island, and he also references the Star’s song in teachers. The kid he sees is probably the version of himself that first entered the Dream World as a kid (or maybe Kai lol), which might be why he wants to cry everytime he has that dream: it’s the nostalgia for a time he left behind.
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Room No. 17 (Beomgyu’s vision)
While I’m not sure what the number 17 means yet, and my research on numerology yielded no results, this vision is particularly interesting to me. Through it we get to see Beomgyu’s more ‘brash’ nature as he defends the book that Soobin was seen holding previously. If that book is their key to the Dream World, then it makes a lot of sense that he’s trying to protect it. I’m not sure who the other person trying to stop him is, but it does kinda look like things didn’t go well for them after Beomgyu transformed. 
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Girl of Eternity (Huening Kai’s vision)
Perhaps the strangest of names for visions, this clearly represents how the rest of the members keep moving far away from Kai and become unreachable to him. He mentions several times how he’s clueless about what’s going on and wants to understand, but the rest of them continue to keep him in the dark, so he feels a distance growing between them, which might increase in the future.
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Moratorium of Rest (Taehyun’s vision)
Taehyun’s vision is perhaps the most shocking of all, as it shows us Yeonjun sitting on a chair and covered in spines and purple “paint”. Yeonjun is sitting in the middle of a field of all sorts of violets, and Taehyun tries calling him before realizing the condition Yeonjun is in.
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Promise (Yeonjun’s vision)
Yeonjun shares the misfortune with Taehyun of seeing his lifeless corpse, except his vision is much less artistic about it. After finding his body, he sees a fire from the corner of his eye, and right next to it, you guessed it, the odd-eyed cat. His vision in particular finishes with the phrase “I thought it was salvation, then.” And here is where things turn south.
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Yeonjun’s promise and the Odd-Eye Cat
I have a very strong reason to believe that Yeonjun is in danger of dying an awful death, and it’s only partially because of the visions. Since Nap of a Star, Yeonjun has been followed by the vigilant eyes of the Odd-Eye Cat almost religiously, and it usually never brings good situations with it. It’s bad enough that the neck cut in Nap of a Star is replicated in Taehyun’s vision, that Soobin sees Yeonjun all bloody in Eternally, and that both Yeonjun and Taehyun see the former dead, but there might be some external clues that hint towards Yeonjun’s upcoming demise.
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In the official BigHit website for TxT’s discography, where we found out that Soobin researched and figured out the way to go into the Dream World, we can find a picture of Yeonjun reading a book. In English, this book is called The Alchemaster’s Apprentice. This book narrates the story of a black cat who sells its soul to a sort of wizard in exchange for food, since he’s starving to death. The wizard agrees to fatten the cat for a month, after which it will kill it and use its fat for magical purposes.
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The cat in this book doesn’t have heterochromia, however I found out some pagan groups in Eastern Europe believe that a different colored eye was a witch’s eye, meaning that the eye has literally been swapped out with a witch’s. I fully believe that Yeonjun made a deal he shouldn’t have, and the Odd-Eye Cat has been sent by whoever made the deal with him to check on him. It might just be that Yeonjun’s time is going to run out very soon, and the visions are trying to warn everyone of that.
Conclusion
Magic exists and TxT might have bitten more than they can chew because they wanted to run away from the problems of real life (relatable). Now, the Star that they made a promise with is trying to reach them, and maybe warn them about something that’s coming. The fact is that they’re not safe, especially Yeonjun, and things might turn south very quickly very soon.
I’ll try to come back soon with the Minisode 1 + Chaos Chapter Theory update, but for now, if you liked this, please interact with the post and check out my other theories here!
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imnotcameraready · 3 years
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more than beliefs (5: mother knows best)
A/N: still trying at this ! i still don't own any tables so honestly, writing has been kinda hard :') but i'm still up to a polished chapter 7 and know VERY well what is happening in chapter 8, so we're looking pretty good. i wrote all of chivalry chapter by chapter so.....hoping this goes well :'D
WARNINGS: manipulation, plotting a murder, paranoia description, blunt force trauma, assault, amnesia, blood, graphic description of violence — this chapter’s the first doozy! if i missed anything, please let me know!
Words: 4378
AO3 link!
enjoy!! <3
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“Now, this might be a controversial opinion, but the second Little Mermaid movie is a top-tier Disney sequel,” the Director said, idly mixing a teaspoon around in his hot chocolate.
Roman scoffed. He was sitting on the Director’s couch, wrapped in a blanket while they watched 2005’s Just Like Heaven starring Mark Ruffalo and Reese Witherspoon. The Director had suggested they watch something from Disney, but while Roman loved the whole library of Disney movies lining his shelf, he couldn’t choose which one he wanted. To his surprise, the Director didn’t have a favorite, either. He’d said he was fond of the cookie-cutter damsel in distress narrative of older Disney stories, which Roman tried (and failed) to take offense to, but did agree that many modern movies like Big Hero 6 had interestingly complex and developed stories.
“I just prefer the expansion on oceanic lore. And I’m a sucker for a good parental storyline, when the former protag takes on the motherly role.” The Director took a sip of his coffee.
“And here I thought you weren’t one of my creative advisors,” Roman said with a smirk, crossing his arms upon his pillowy throne.
The Director scoffed, and as he rolled his eyes Roman could have sworn that he was blushing. Maybe he was embarrassed. “Just because I’m not David doesn’t mean I can’t have opinions on works of art,” he sounded dejected—Roman guessed that was fair. The Dragon and Damsel and Child, most obviously, had strong opinions on art yet no artistic inclinations.
It was still up in the air if the Thief did. It didn’t seem like he had many opinions on things that weren’t consequential to Roman’s direct safety, but he was very quiet. Roman didn’t rule out the possibility of the Thief just not wanting to share that information with him, which was….well. Unfortunate.
Roman wished he got to know his advisors better. Ever since they were separated from him, Roman feels like he’s been at the grinding stone with them all. The Thief had spent the whole wedding either swearing or screaming suggestions angrily, and when he wasn’t, he was comforting an incredibly distraught Bard. The Damsel and Playwright tried to help the most but... He had barely even seen the Artist outside of their creative sessions. He had barely seen the Dragon or Child, period.
The Director was an interesting one. Roman had everyone’s phone numbers, because, well, he wasn’t about to use carrier pigeons. Though that might be super cool to try one day. But the Director was just about the only advisor to casually reach out to him. He would send Roman memes. How did he even get memes? Roman and Remus had created an Imagination-version of the internet, so it was likely from their co-sponsored Imagination Tumblr or something. The Director putting in the effort and time to think of Roman during such small instances was what made Roman feel more comfortable here, though. That’s what made him trust the Director with these sorts of situations. Almost made them closer...
Was that selfish? To favor one part of oneself over others? Surely not. It was similar to recognizing flaws, or pimples and blemishes. Not to say any of the others were blemishes. Drats, even Roman’s internal monologue was demeaning to himself.
“Do you want any more coffee? I’m going to go refill,” the Director’s voice jolted Roman out of his stupor, and he looked up with wide eyes.
“No, I’m okay,” and after a small beat, he added, “Thank you again for housing me. I can’t imagine what Phillip would want to say after yesterday’s debacle.”
The Director scoffed. Roman snuggled into his blanket more, listening to the Director pour himself another mug and reply. “Anytime, Roman,” he chuckled, then put on one of the most outlandishly fake accents Roman’s ever heard. “I live to serve~”
“Sto-op,” Roman groaned, throwing his head back and shooting the Director a glare—well, glaring at the kitchen door. There were walls around all of the rooms here, unlike the Mind Palace.
The Director laughed even more when he returned, sitting on the couch with his legs crossed on the cushion. He held his mug in his hands for a few seconds before talking, tone much more sober.
“I do have to say. I’m surprised I was the one you came to.” The Director’s voice is a little more quiet. “I thought for sure you would have sought comfort with Cadence or Gavin before me.”
Roman blinks. “I guess….I didn’t want to be judged again.” He looked back down at his lap, at the blankets piled up there and his own coziness. “Every time I come back after an argument, or after making a fool of myself, it seems everyone has an opinion on how poorly I handled a situation. None of them really acknowledge….It must have been….”
He’d been a little confused about it, too. The trust issue.
“Janus has strung my emotions along enough for it to be fair that I don’t trust him,” Roman said, voice soft as he tried to put how he’d been feeling into words. “Right?”
That was as close an explanation as he could get to. Because it all boiled down to the trust issue, in his understanding of the situation. As much as Patton wanted him to let go of the situation, Patton was focusing on the mustache quip rather than the whole trust thing. Janus knew Roman had wanted to go to the callback. But Roman also wanted to be a good person, if that’s what Thomas wanted. Thomas wanted to be a good person so Roman also wanted to be a good person.
But when being a good person directly went against Thomas’ dreams, Janus stepped in. And sure, he argued that they weren’t supposed to be self-sacrificial, but wasn’t that a hero’s job? When did a hero ever get to keep anything before sacrificing everything? Isn’t that what made sense?
Janus didn’t even do a good job at explaining it, not until all the damage had already been done. This was different from just giving Roman the perfect set up for a theater display, this was Janus pretending that he wanted what Roman wanted. This was Janus pretending to be his friend but wanting Thomas to...be a bad person?
He didn’t understand. Maybe Patton was right. Maybe Roman just didn’t understand. And that’s what made his disgruntlement so confusing, because in his heart, Roman knew Janus was trying to help, he knew that, he understood. But then why did it hurt so much?
“Oh, honey, he’s gone way past that. Don’t gaslight yourself into thinking he’s been helpful,” Macbeth’s icy voice cut through the thoughts wrangling Roman’s mind.
The Director was so self-assured. It was comforting. He was sitting on the couch, arms crossed as he explained.
“And Patton, Logan, turning around just to say you should let it go and listen to him after he’s lied nine times out of ten?” the Director threw his head back and let out a sharp “Hah! No, your anger is rational. And defensible.”
“Why won’t any of the others agree with that?”
The Director starred at Roman for a minute. Just a little too long. His eyes seemed to press Roman into a corner, under a box. Scrutinized.
They both knew that “others” wasn’t a reference to the other Sides. The Director kept his distance from Roman’s other advisors, he knew that, but Roman didn’t know how far. The Director wasn’t the kind to just watch them, was he?
“They all have their opinions. About Disney and otherwise.” He took another drink of his coffee then shook his head, standing up, motioning for Roman to follow, “May I show you….something. Without you thinking I’m crazy?”
Now, that’s always a fairly worrying question to hear. “No, no, I trust you,” Roman said with a slight grin.
The Director must have been able to see how it waned, because he chuckled, smiled back. “I think we’re all a little zany. But that’s the charm. Phillip is undoubtedly the scariest, as much as Draco tries. The Prince, Damsel, whichever you want, has a noticeable villain complex.”
Wait, what?
The Director raised his hands in mock defeat. Showing his hands, like he were trying to assure Roman that he wasn’t being suspicious. But the hairs on Roman’s neck rose. He led Roman to the door just besides Roman’s room. When he first started visiting the Director, he explained that this was his study. Roman had never gone in. Because, you know, when you respect someone you also respect their privacy.
“I’ve only ever spoken to Marlowe, but, you know. I’m the Director of players I can never meet. I had to take notes,” he added the final part quietly.
He glanced over the combination button pad on the door. Roman hadn’t noticed that. What room would require a combination lock? And who would be….Was it to keep him out? Or someone else? Maybe the Playwright, the Director mentioned he’d been over before. Keep anyone out, it seemed.
“I….notes?” he was flabbergasted. What the fuck was happening?
“Yeah.” The Director opened the door slowly and motioned for Roman to follow.
Inside were papers. One wall was a large tackboard, photos and sticky notes and papers pinned up, connected with lines of colored yarn. Roman felt his mouth fall open as he inspected it. There were notes on all of his advisors, all seven of the others, even some of people Roman didn’t know. There was someone with four eyes. Someone with antlers. Who were they? How did this all fit together?
Why in Athena’s name did the Director have corkboard notes on the other advisors? That was a lot more than a little weird.
“I...You’re wonderful, Roman. So productive and pristine and princely, as you deserve to be. But there are some areas where you can stand to improve.” Roman was probably only processing some of the Director’s words as he rolled up his sleeves and pulled out a metal stick, one that looked oddly like a wand.
He held it in one hand, and suddenly it extended, until it was a pointer. The Director held both ends of it and watched Roman for a reaction, a response, something.
“I would have to agree,” Roman stumbled over his words a little, eyes still glued to the notes—there were some by the Child that read ‘Naive/Trusting/Problem?’—before he slowly turned back to the Director with a weak grin once again. “I mean, I might be pristinely princely, but those P alliterations don’t include perfect. No one’s perfect.”
“It may be an unattainable dream, but we’re well familiar with those. We can only strive for improvement! And when improving you and yourself, that means making changes to them,” the Director gestured up at the wall of photos, of the parts of Roman’s self, and smacked the Child’s photo with his pointer. “I actually only thought I would be reading these notes, so forgive me for any, er. Sharp language.”
Roman knew that self-improvement meant adopting new mindsets, but he had no idea that putting parts of himself into characters involved changing them as well, though it did make sense. Self-insert characters had to change if you were changing the self that was being inserted. Right?
If he wanted to improve….it made sense. He had to change himself, including the facets of himself.
“That’s fair,” Roman murmured, “Okay. These….You could take these notes to the other advisors. Surely they’d accept it?”
“At this point, I don’t know who would kill me faster,” the Director scoffed, then gestured at the Damsel’s notes, a cluster of sticky notes and drawings and photos of the Damsel at a well enough distance that it was closer to stalker-ish. “Phillip wouldn’t want competition. Marlowe agrees that he can be quite standoffish when threatened, and a newcomer claiming to be one of Roman’s advisors? Someone who doesn’t have his respect in a royal manner?”
The Director pointed to the Thief now, a even more grave expression adorning his face. “And Eric. Tell me you think he would accept a newcomer of any kind. Just tell me. Especially near Gavin. And the Child himself probably wouldn’t like me.”
Well, that sounded off. Roman leaned on the wall besides the door, back against his hands as he continued to inspect the wall. There were notes on the other advisors’ behaviors, their antics.
For some reason, Roman could almost imagine Janus or Logan doing this. It was something close to weird and something else close to endearing. Was that weird?
“Why not? Gavin’s pretty trusting.” Roman didn’t look away from the wall as he replied.
“In fairness, he might like me, but I don’t know if I could ever come around to liking him. He’s the root source of all our issues, especially our present issue with Janus, Patton, Logan. Even past issues with Remus, if I’m remembering them properly. What Gavin represents allows us to be easily swayed.”
That got Roman to look away, look down at the Director. He was glaring up at the Child’s photo with something fierce, which startled Roman enough. I mean, that was a whole child there. What would inspire this much hatred?
“Really now?” Roman wanted to know.
“He gets us to let our guard down. It’s at Gavin’s behest we take chances, but it’s that same honesty that leads us to broken promises, taking in lies like they’re candy. I don’t know what I would do with him,” the Director sounded disappointed.
That was a fair analysis. All of the advisors—the Playwright, the Thief, the Child, Bard, Artist, Dragon, Damsel, Director—they all represented different parts of Roman, similar to how the Sides represented parts of Thomas. In theory, they worked together. In practice, that was far from the truth, but Roman knew for his sake that they were trying their best.
They all oversaw different parts of Roman’s psyche, too. The Playwright, for example, was most similar to Logan in that he represented Roman’s research and organization, on a creative and egotistical level. The Playwright—Marlowe—could be trusted with knowing how many liters of blood were in the human body as well as every one of the Sides’ favorite karaoke songs, even the exact time and date they met Nico.
The Child was Roman’s belief, his ability to dream. It was fair to assume that that made him the most naïve part. Perhaps it was even a fair conclusion that the debacles with Janus were caused by what the Child represented.
Roman hadn’t thought of it like that. The last time he’d talked to the Child, Gavin, about the situation, he had seem incredibly disappointed.
He’d never stopped to ask what the Child was disappointed in, though. Was he disappointed in Roman? Or in himself? Did the Child know he was the one who had pushed Roman to trust Janus? Did….There was no way that this was….the Child’s fault. Was it?
“Huh.” Roman’s voice echoed emptily to himself. A pit opened in his stomach, something difficult to grasp. The root cause of his burdens couldn’t be his ability to dream. His dreams themselves, his hopes, his beliefs. He….he was the daydreamer, the creator. That couldn’t be a flaw, could it?
The Director watched him, but Roman hardly noticed. It was only for a few seconds, too, of stoic silence before the Director interrupted his thoughts with a huff, looked across the board. “This is quite a bit of insight at once. Maybe we should finish the movie.”
“Director?”
Roman and the Director both turned to the open doorway, the later slapping a hand over his own mouth immediately. With a flick of his wrist, the door closed quietly, clicking just loud enough for the both of them to hear. They also heard the Playwright in the living room, footsteps echoing faintly on the stone floor.
“Director?” the Playwright called out again.
“Fuck,” the Director whispered. This must have been an unplanned visit.
“What? We can just go out and say hello,” Roman said back, though his demeanor and body language spoke of worry, almost fear.
The Playwright was well known to be a pacifist. And the Playwright knew about the Director, knew about Roman knowing the Director. He was a little surprised to find that the Playwright didn’t know the Director’s name was Macbeth, but Roman knew the Director to be a man of secrets.
“He doesn’t know I….He doesn’t know you’re here. He barely knows we talk,” the Director looked around the room and pressed a hand to one of the walls, “Fuck. How are we going to get him out?”
The rock beneath the Director’s hand morphs into a doorway and he opens it. The Playwright was standing in the living room, close to the front door to the home. He looked up at them both, eyes widening when he met Roman’s. Before Roman could say anything, even think of something to say, the Playwright spoke with ease.
“Roman’s here? Thank goodness. Virgil’s come looking for him,” he gave Roman a small smile, strained but caring all the same.
“Ah.” Roman stiffened. Virgil came looking for him? In the Imagination? Why? How? He didn’t have his own passage into this space yet, how’d he get here?
He didn’t want to talk to Virgil. As supportive as he’d been, especially when it came to taking care of Thomas, there were still some areas where Roman wanted to be alone, wanted to process his thoughts alone. Virgil was...vindictive. Which was a strong word to use, but an apt one. Virgil’s distaste in Janus made it hard for Roman to form his own thoughts, which was why he often tried away from Virgil as much as Patton.
He wasn’t ready for that kind of confrontation, and the Director must have been able to tell, because he physically looked like he didn’t want Roman to go.
“I actually didn’t expect to find you here, though I’m not entirely surprised,” the Playwright must not have been privy to these feelings, glancing between the Director and Roman, shock still gracing his features.
“Really now,” the Director said, tilting his head, “Why not?”
“I just didn’t know Roman had met you, but of course, even I’m not as omniscient as Creativity himself,” the Playwright stepped closer, reaching toward Roman. “You have to come up, though. Virgil said everyone’s worried.”
Roman starred at the Playwright’s hand, unsure of what to do with the gesture. He knew everyone would be worried, on a baseline. Closed doors didn’t do well around the Mind Palace, especially his, especially after his splitting incident, but that didn’t mean he had to cater to everyone else’s worry. He was allowed privacy.
Before he formulated a response, though, the Director placed a hand in front of Roman. His smile toward the Playwright turned sour, lips pursed in a mix of thought and anger.
“He doesn’t have to go see Virgil if he doesn’t want to.” Roman felt some of the tension in his shoulder alleviate at the Director’s statement, as basic as it was.
The Playwright, on the other hand, didn’t seem to understand. He looked between Roman and the Director again, surprised even further by how familiar they seemed. There had been a fair amount of transparency in Roman’s relationships with all of the other advisors that there must be some dissonance to see him be so familiar with someone he hadn’t even expected Roman to know. Something about that surprise, the bait and switch, the lie, felt fulfilling.
“It wouldn’t be difficult to alleviate Virgil’s worried and tell him to leave again,” the Playwright explained slowly. “I’m sure, if Roman told him he wanted privacy, he would understand.”
“I’m sure, if Virgil could understand that, then he wouldn’t have tread where he shouldn’t. You can’t make him do anything.” The Director’s voice grew darker, hand unwavering.
“Make him?” the Playwright sounded so confused.
Roman was also confused where the Director’s notion came from, but it was validating to hear reminders that Roman’s decisions were his to make. But nothing in the Playwright’s tone was forceful.
For a moment, it seemed as though the Playwright would drop his confusion.
Until he took a step forward, toward the Director and Roman, with one hand outstretched. Roman didn’t know what he’d been planning, but he knew the Playwright wasn’t a sporadic man. He hated adding physicality to situations where debate and discussion could suffice. So, in hindsight, it was likely the Playwright was reaching out to make peace.
The moment passed in mere seconds.
He was taller than the Director by a noticeable few inches, so the Director bent his knees. He pushed Roman behind him with his outstretched arm, acting faster than either Roman or the Playwright could react to. The Director stuck his leg out and grabbed the Playwright by the fabric of his shirt, behind his neck. The Playwright, surprised by the sudden movements, tripped on his leg and let out a sharp gasp of surprise.
Besides them was the living room coffee table. As the Playwright fell, the Director redirected his head toward the table, shoving him away from Roman.
It felt very spur of the moment, and it happened in a true moment. The Playwright let out a scream, sharp and fearful, before his forehead collided with the edge of the metal table. He fell beneath it unconscious. Blood pooled at the Director’s feet as he stood back up.
Roman’s hands shot to his face immediately, as soon as the Playwright started falling, and he could only stare in horror at the scene. The Director, too, seemed shocked at his own reaction. He starred at his blood-stained socks for a little while, breathing heavy enough for Roman to hear. It must be the adrenaline.
“I,” the Director’s voice caught in his throat.
Roman watched. Just watched. The Director swallowed, turning around to face Roman with a mirroring horrified expression, eyes wide with surprise. “You have to make him forget.”
“What?” Roman’s voice was strained, almost a whisper, and he cleared his throat to repeat. “Excuse me?”
What kind of request….?
“If Marlowe remembers this, we’re fucked. He knows you’re here. He’s going to think I attacked him. I-I did attack him,” The Director took a slow breath, turning to look at the body on the ground before shaking his head—unable to look. “David is going to kill me.
“Make him forget. He can stay here. For a bit. We can figure this out,” he put his hands up towards Roman. “We-The other Sides’re gonna follow Virgil. We both know that. And, uh. Only Marlowe knew I was here. So we’ve got time to figure out how to, uh. Play this off.”
Roman starred at him with wide eyes. The past two days had been such a long mess, he didn’t know what to do. Physically, he could remove the Playwright memories. He’d be a blank slate of a character, only backstory. What would that do? The Playwright’s backstory was that he was the Playwright. He didn’t have some elaborate parent-death or chosen-one-esque story that he could fall back on. Poor bastard wasn’t even the one who had Roman’s memories prior.
But the Director was right, in a way. If they wanted more time to think about everything—the other Sides were looking for him? How did Virgil get in here? Why would he be looking for Roman, it wasn’t uncommon for him to stomp away from a verbal duel, why now?—then they couldn’t have the Playwright ratting them out.
When he manipulated the Imagination directly, his powers were red. Remus’ were green. It was distinctive. So when Roman sank down, put a hand on the back of the Playwright’s head, his hand turned red.
It blended in with the blood.
Roman felt vile. He had to do this, or else the others would find him. A quiet, dull part of his mind told him that didn’t matter but….he didn’t want to be found. He didn’t.
He pulled gently, as though tugging the thoughts out, and something glistened red and gold as he did. Then, Roman let it go, and it disappeared. It reminded him a little of Dumbledore pulling his own memories out in Harry Potter. Roman didn’t feel much the chosen one, either, though.
“There,” he said quietly.
The Director let out a soft breath. It didn’t sound like either of them knew what to do, to be fair. Maybe the Director hadn’t even expected this.
“I’ll….here.” The Director looked up and pointed at the wall behind the couch.
The couch scooted forward a little, enough for there to be a walkway behind it, and the room simultaneously pulled away from the couch. Then, a door formed on the wall. It clicked once, then swung open. Another room.
Roman stood still, staring at his hands—was that magic or blood?—while the Director leaned down to pick the Playwright up. The man hadn’t moved since being bludgeoned by the table.
“Under the sink in the bathroom is a first aid kit,” the Director said, voice stoic, taking the reins on the situation, “I’ll make him a bedroom and bandage his head. Then he can stay for a day or two. We must figure out what to do, about the other Sides and about Marlowe.”
That was fair. He’d only stay a little.
Dimly, Roman remembered that this was the Imagination, he mastered this world, so he could technically get rid of the Playwright’s wound. He could get rid of his memory and the wound and send him right back to his home, right back to the Artist, good as normal and none the wiser.
But….something in the back of his head stopped him. And the Director pulled him into the other room faster than Roman could overcome whatever clouded thoughts were plaguing him.
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Leverage Season 2, Episode 7, The Two Live Crew Job, Audio Commentary Transcript
Dean: Hi, I’m Dean Devlin, Executive Producer and Director of this episode of Leverage.
Amy: Hi, I’m Amy Berg, Supervising Producer and Writer of this episode.
John: John Rogers, Executive Producer and Co-Writer of this episode. Hold on. [Opens bee.] There we go.
[Laughter]
Dean: The beer has been opened.
John: The Guiness has been opened. Amy Berg where did this episode come from?
Amy: Well, I mean, when you have a show about a team of con men sort of- one of the first episodes that you think of is- 
John: Yeah, it was like one of the first ones we broke- we talked about last season-
Amy: What happens when they go up against another team of con men? And obviously that's not something you really wanna, sort of, pull the trigger on during season one, so we sort of sat on it for a bit.
Dean: But we talked about it a lot in season one.
Amy: We did talk about it.
John: Yeah. But really you have to have your- part of the fun is having your characters and opposition- of people that make a difference, having the opposition of you need to know the characters really well.
Amy: You need to learn who our people are before we can bring in a new set of people.
John: Yeah, so it was a lot of fun putting together the different combinations and different variations on this- the evil team of evil Leverage.
Amy: Loves it.
John: Why the Gustav Klimt?
Amy: The Gustav Klimpt, now you're testing me and it's been a while, I believe this painting was called Higeia and it was technically destroyed by the Nazis in 1945. And it was sort of a choice to pick a painting that wasn't actually in existence, so we weren’t stepping on anybody's toes, saying that this was a stolen painting.
John: The likeless- the equivalent of likeness rights on paintings is an enormous pain in the ass so as a matter of fact, there's a statue of Lincoln in the park that's in the sequence later that we shot and then we had to get the rights to using that statute, even in the background.
Dean: Yeah.
John: Now that's very tricky stuff. Dean tell us about the fun of shooting this.
Dean: Well we wanted to try and keep perpetual motion and show two different attempts. Our team, which tries to do a low tech break in through basically just cutting through a wall through this cheapo office behind the high tech office, and then the daring team that actually chases the bullet head on.
John: Yeah. And there is our villain, Griffin.
Amy: Griffin Dunne.
John: Exactly.
Dean: I've wanted to work with Griffin my whole life. I remember seeing him in An American Werewolf Through London and just falling madly in love with this guy; I just thought he was amazing. And then when we went to do this episode, it was actually Tim Hutton who said, ‘What do you think about my pal Griffin Dunne playing this part?’ And it was just like a gift from heaven.
John: Oh yeah, we are all over that. And this is a lot of fun and we built a fake wall- And that is Tim's assistant, correct?
Amy: That’s that’s Elle, yeah.
John: That's Elle, Tim’s assistant, in her big screen debut with us tormenting her.
Amy: Indeed. And they're playing detectives Marlow and Archer who, as you know, is an homage to both Raymond Chandler and Ross Macdonald.
John: That's right.
Dean: And there's fun outtakes from that which will be in the gag reel.
Amy: Excellent. This should have a lot of gag reel footage.
John: It's also- to tell you what's weird is, Archer actually- 
Amy: Was the name of Tim Spades partner in [mumbles]?
John: That's right. That's what the original reference was. That’s also Ross Mcdonald.
Amy: But Ross Mcdonald was inspired by that character in order.
John: Really?
Amy: Yeah.
John: I didn't know that. There you go.
Dean: Fans of the show In Treatment should know that this actress, Noa Tishby, is actually the Executive Producer of In Treatment on HBO.
John: That's right Noa is an Israli actress, she was in Israel, she saw the original show, she dug in, got the rights herself, brought it to America, and wound up executive producing the American version.
Amy: By the way, that's Wil Wheaton.
[Laughter]
Amy: Which is so awesome. And who cast Will Wheaton in this episode, John Rogers?
John: Well I technically cast him, but I believe you had the idea of hiring Wil Wheaton because I'm the one who actually signed the papers.
Amy: Thank you, I appreciate the credit on that.
John: Yes.
Dean: And I was so happy because Wil Wheaton and I actually used to play on the same hockey team together.
Amy: That's right.
Dean: And this was back when he was on Star Trek. And I was dumb enough to allow him to play goalie at the time and-
[Laughter]
Dean: And [Unintelligible]’s son took a slapshot that cracked his helmet open and gave him 17 stitches across the forehead.
Amy: You helped break Wil Wheaton's face.
Dean: And the producers of Star Trek called me screaming at me and forbidding me to ever allowing him to play on the team again.
Amy: Nice. Dogs Playing Poker, by the way, totally public domain. That’s why we chose that one.
John: There you go, there's a lot of variations of that, too, that’s right. And this is actually our little slam is not a part of the subtle on a lot of the CBS crime shows; just the sort of horrible-
Amy: Yeah, the over the top-
John: When we created Leverage, one of the reasons we did it was because so many shows were chasing serial killers. I think it was Chris Downey who said, ‘You know what? Serial killers are covered. Let’s chase rich white dudes in suits.’
Amy: I think they're done.
John: There's only ever been 10 and they've been caught 100 times. And that was Apollo Robbins. This is a great- this is one of Dean's signature roundy-rounds. And I was saying the other day-
Dean: An amazing steadicam shot.
John: I was saying the other day, we've actually learned in the writers room how to assign dialogue to make this easier.
Amy: Yeah.
[Laughter]
John: So rather than rewriting on the fly-
Amy: -we write towards the circle track.
John: Cause you can actually see. It goes- it's like triple play: it goes to Beth to Aldis to Chris to Tim and then back around again.
Amy: I love Parker; there’s always- always something secret going on, whether its secret nazis or- 
John: Yeah well, we kind of establish it in The Day of the Hunter Job, Parker’s realm of knowledge outside of stealing is not good.
[Laughter]
John: Like, anything that doesn't involve stealing, she will believe it if the other team members tell her. Oh this is great. I remember we shot this day. Dean, tell us about this bit.
Dean: Well this was one where we actually went full circle because we came in, we rehearsed it one way and it felt really good, but then we started to feel like, ‘Gosh we're not doing enough.’ And so then we reblocked the entire scene so we could all do more and have more happen, and then we all paused and went, ‘You know, the first one was much better.’
[Laughter]
Dean: And that's what we went with.
John: Yup. What I think was part of what was driving that was because I was on set that day, ‘Do not touch the motion sensitive bomb.’
Amy: Thank you.
John: Was the fact that this was gonna be Gina's last episode, full day with the cast- And also, she really dug in on the fact that the character was going to die and it genuinely upset the cast. Like the cast was a little freaked out here; they got way- cause this is a very claustrophobic set, very claustrophobic scene. The way we usually shoot is we shoot longer takes. So we do the whole thing, like we’ve shot entire acts in one take at some point.
Dean: That's true.
Amy: Yeah. By the way, this bit with the pudding, I've known John for two years and this is the only time I've ever turned him on.
[Laughter]
Amy: I wrote this bit, and he read the act and he came in and he burst into my office and was like ’hahaha’.
John: Remember you didn’t use it you; had talked about it and-
Amy: That’s true. That’s true. I brought it up in dialogue, but I didn't actually employ it. They didn’t- Parker didn't actually use it.
John: I actually kicked in the door- the only time I’ve yelled at you- 
Amy: Yeah, he yelled at me.
John: I kicked in the door and said, ‘How do you come up with instant pudding in a motion sensitive bomb and not actually use it?’ And so we had- and Parker, we had Parker do it. There's a lot of great acting in here, there's a lot of Gina digging in on, sort of, Sophie's past catching up with her. Hardison-
Amy: But this is a scene where it’s really easy to overwrite it, because your instinct is sort of to write to the emotion of this scene like Sophie could die. But the point is to underwrite and let your actors find the emotion between the lines.
John: That beat right there with Chris and Gina.
Amy: Yes.
John: There's a very nice recurring thing we try to do, which is, whenever it becomes something about killing someone, they go to Eliot because Eliot- because Eliot used to do that. And there's a nice moment there. I was actually there- oh look at that look. I love that look. Where-
Amy: Emotion between the lines.
John: Where basically Eliot signs off on the fact that she's probably gonna die and Gina and Eliot worked that out and it's just a lovely moment. Ahhh this is great, now how did we do this?
Amy: Gina just knocks this out of the park.
Dean: So Gina was very pregnant at the time, so we had to do a double for the wide shots, for the running, and Gina for the closeups.
John: Yeah, and then this is a miniature.
Dean: That's right. Well, the building is the actual building we shot at, but the explosion is a miniature that we shot at our parking lot that we digitally composited on top of it. Now at the time, people didn't know what we were gonna do with Gina's character because Gina was pregnant. So when we did this scene and we aired this episode a lot of people were really upset at this point because they actually thought we had killed her off of the show. 
Amy and John: Yeah.
Dean: And early Twitters were very upset.
Amy: Were not favorable.
John: Were very angry.
[Laughter]
Dean: How could you kill her off the show? But then-
Amy: This was originally intended to be the midseason finale, which in that case, the fans would definitely think for sure she was gonna be gone for a while or forever. 
John: Yep.
Amy: But we ended up adding two episodes to the end of the midseason run, so we did get to see her again.
Dean: I don't know what it is exactly, but for me, Parker’s performance- or Beth’s performance as Parker in this section here is reminiscent of some of the great comedians. 
Amy: Yeah.
Dean: Because it's so subtle what she's doing. And a lot of this came out of Beth herself who said -
Amy: I rewrote this scene based on Beth's notes that you were so kind to give me, and it sort of- it made the scene like 10 times better. I don't even remember what it was originally, but-
John: She's trying to remember what her lines are to say as Parker and her eyes roll up like ‘what am I supposed to say’ and then she gets freaked out at seeing Gina dead and loses it.
John: And then she totally spirals out.
Amy: There's a lot going on in, like, 20 seconds; it's pretty funny.
John: And then Hardison having to go up and bail her out. And again, there's a lot of- there's a lot of stuff going on in the structure this year with Gina leaving, and just for that tempering and having us to accelerate that storyline- There's a lot of Hardison/Parker relationship stuff between the lines on all the shows, we just never made it an A plot, but you can actually see the relationship evolve over the course of the season, when you watch the entire season particularly, the second half. And of course Chris is wearing a bandana under his hat because that's when he had slammed his head onto the set.
Dean: In the previous episode.
John: Exactly.
Amy: Yeah, he’s got a giant scar on his forehead right now.
John: Beautiful cemetery up on a big hill in Portland, nice enough to let us shoot there. Beautiful, gorgeous location. And that's a nice bit of acting, too.
Dean: Yeah, just the little moment of him seeing her and then getting that shock of losing someone that he cares about.
John: Yeah, and just processing.
Amy: So far you've pointed out that your favorite moments are the ones where there's no dialogue, so I'm glad I could contribute to that.
[Laughter]
John: Well you wrote- no no, that’s right, I usually go back and write the stage directions, but you do a lot of the-
Amy: This- and so it begins, when John makes fun of me throughout the commentary.
John: I don't make fun of you, just when you take too much credit.
[Laughter]
Dean: This is the controversy.
Amy: I was taking no credit!
Dean: In this scene, the gravestone says Cathrine Klive, her actor name, and at the end Sophie Deveraux and a lot of people thought that was actually a mistake, but why don't you address that?
John: Well we were really- it comes up in the end. We really wanted- and this is sort of a meta structural thing - she wants to kill Sophie Deaveraux. She realizes Sophie Deveraux as an identity, as a life, is a dead end, and so she changes the tombstone so that she can eventually give up that identity. And it's interesting because what Sophie is- realized is that she's going down a dead end, and in theory she’s the current criminal and Nate is the honest man. Nate is also going down a dead end, but he's way too obsessive and blind to realize it.
Amy: Yeah.
John: And so by the end of the season, you’ll see Sophie is a lot more emotionally evolved than Nate is.
Amy: It's true. This is sort of the beginning of Nate’s spiral where-
John: Yeah, maybe the end of Sophie’s thing.
Amy: His priority shifts and, like, winning becomes more important than servicing the clients.
John: We just sort of tease in 206. Great scene between Griffin and- really that was kind of fun. Once we knew we had Griffin Dunne, a lot of these scenes became, ‘Alright, it's really just gonna be head to head.’
Amy: Yeah, yeah.
John: Yeah. It's just- we’re just gonna have the two of them- And the fact that they're friends was really helpful.
Amy: And this the promise of the premise when you do a crew vs crew episode. What you are promising to the audience is you're gonna have one-on-one faceoffs between the characters and their counterparts.
John: And this is part of the evolution of writing an episode, is when we were breaking this, we had a really hard time getting that up as fast as possible, and that's what you wound up- doing the inner cut break in at the opening. Because even though they weren't facing off at each other, we gave the audience the promise of the premise.
Amy: Yes.
John: And the beautiful Hyundai Genesis. A fine automobile.
Amy: A fine, fine vehicle.
Dean: Beautiful peel out.
John: It was nice. In a cemetery!
[Laughter]
John: There was a moment where I was talking to one of the actors, I looked down and realized I was standing on a civil war veteran’s grave. That was a little disturbing.
Amy: That’s classy Rogers.
Dean: I absolutely love the little makeup and hair choices of Gina in this scene, it's so 40’s noir.
John: Yes.
Amy: Yeah, yeah the hair.
John: The whole episode she's playing 40’s noir. And it was a really interesting look, and not one we can do a lot because of the characters she's played, but this was interesting; she's not playing a character ever in this episode except in the opening.
Dean: Right.
John: I kind of liked her in the cop outfit.
Amy: It's one of my favorite running gags in the entire series of the show. Parker just not entirely buying that Gina’s actually alive.
John: Yeah.
[Laughter]
Amy: ‘I'm not dead!’
John: Some part of her brain understands it, but the emotional center is so screwed up.
Amy: ‘I saw her in a coffin, ergo, she must be, in fact, dead.’
John: This is also great, is digging in on the fact that the whole ex-boyfriend/crew/guy who runs the crew she used to be with. And for a while, for like a minute and a half in the room, remember that character was Sophie's boyfriend for the whole first half of the season and this was gonna be the payoff, but we just never knew if we were gonna get the availability for that actor and we just couldn't risk it. And it also seemed a little dishonest she would hide that, so.
Dean: I love the Hardison line, ‘You saw other teams before us?’
[Laughter]
Amy: ‘No, just another Nate.’
John: ‘Just another Nate.’ That's- yes, this is a big family beat of looks back and forth. 
Amy: Lots of looks.
John: Now how did you- I remember you were very, Dean, very big into designing the other team’s headquarters.
Dean: Yeah, well I really wanted to feel like a mirror of our headquarters. But in a believable way in that they don't have permanent space so they’re in a small space. But I was trying to mirror even screen direction-wise that one team is looking left-right the other team is looking right-left so that we can really feel like these are absolute mirror images of each other.
John: Yeah even the looks left-right and right-left match.
Dean: That’s right.
John: Yeah, no it's interesting. And there's Apollo Robbins, who we haven't mentioned yet.
Amy: Apollo Robbins! Yes, he's our technical consultant on the show. He is a master thief. But not anymore, he's a good guy now. I feel like I should point that out.
John: Yes we should. You can't hire him to do crimes.
Amy: When I say consultant, I mean he's not actually a thief anymore.
John: This is also great; this is also the Mona Lisa scam. Why don’t you explain the Mona Lisa scam since you’re a research freak?
Amy: Oh great, now I’m-
John: 1911.
Amy: Yes, 1911 there was a con man, I don't remember his name, but someone says it I think in this scene, where he created six forgeries of the Mona Lisa, stole the original, and then sold the six fakes on the black market to individual buyers as though they were the original and got six times the profit.
John: Some con and heist shows will just do that plot and act like they came up with it. [Coughs] Asshole! [Cough]. 
[Laughter]
John: Rather than mention the fact that this is something that really happened, that you should honor. 
Amy: This is something that really happened, that I actually read about.
John: Also used the Doctor Who's: The City Of Death written by Douglas Adams.
Amy: Oh yeah, oh yeah.
John: There you go. This is something else we did a lot of, which was the process of elimination bit with the screens. Remember we did it in Hunter too? And it's just kind of fun because it’s kind of something from my physics background which is all about probability. And the fact that a series of educated guesses- it's kind of like our version of detective work.
Amy: Yeah.
John: You know, it's like crime detection, it's a lot of fun. And yeah, and now we're really seeing Nate start to spin out of control.
Amy: But this is what I would call dueling competence porn.
John: Yes it is.
Amy: This, and the third act where the teams are doing their jobs and doing them well.
John: Competence porn, by the way, is a term- I forget how it came about, but it's basically-
Amy: It's just a room bit.
John: It’s a room bit. It’s like, you know what? I just like watching people who are good at their jobs doing it, especially if they're entertaining. A lot of it was from 208 was watching Beth Riesgraf- in 208 there was an entire act that's a break in-
Amy: Oh yeah.
John: That’s Beth breaking into a vault. And when you're writing it, you're like, ‘Gosh, that feels thin,’ and then you're watching it and you're like, ‘I'm watching Parker break into a vault for 15 minutes and this is amazing!’
Amy: I could watch it for 40 minutes.
Dean: This is one of my favorite bullet time shots that we’ve done.
John: Yes, now this is- now remember this is all done not digitally- well we do it really. We freeze everyone in the background and the cameraman walks through it and we digitally speed it up. What is this space? This is the- 
Dean: This is an actual museum in Portland that we turned into our space.
John: Yup.
Amy: Wasn't there a naked sculpture that you guys put a leaf on?
John: Yes, up in the upper level.
Amy: That's my favorite story.
John: Yeah. And then- yes, this is 4-way; this is not as insane as the one in the season opener.
Amy: But it’s still insane.
John: But this is a 4-way through about 100 extras.
Amy: I don't think Dean understands that we’re making television.
[Laughter]
Dean: Well, you know, honestly you don't even attempt a shot like this without a steadicam operator like Gary Camp.
Amy: Gary Camp is amazing.
Dean: He's a serious feature film guy. I mean, that was all one shot.
John: Yeah. That's stunning. And then you bring it back to Parker- and this is also fun, is the fact that we make fun in the show. And this was- even when we did tap out and some people were like, ‘Oh, you're making fun of Lincoln, Nebraska,’ when we had Sophie make fun of the food. We’re not making fun of the locations, we’re making fun of the fact that Sophie’s a little princess.
Amy: Yeah.
John: She's not someone who does well with things that- and the van, the van, actually, over the course of the second season becomes a character.
Dean: I love that she's says about how it smells a little whiffy.
[Laughter]
Amy: Which is a callback in The Future Job as well.
John: Yes, this is hard work, it smells like hard work. Yeah, Hardison's affection for the van.
Amy: Respect the van!
John: Respect the van, yeah.
Dean: Now this is actually the first scene where we’ll see the teams start to go head to head.
John: Yeah. Split up, call out your jobs.
Amy: This is the promise of the premise act, as we call it. And it's the Van Gogh that they're after, the Cafe Terrace At Night, I believe it’s called.
Dean: And this is a very important moment because it really established who Nate and Sophie were to the rest of the team. Nate being the one that makes the plans, but Sophie being the one who keeps them safe. And that had never been exposited before, and by doing that, it really set it up.
John: Boom! And then the parallel structure over to Hardison's opposite number, Chaos, played by Wil Wheaton, just four vans down. 
Amy: Nice.
John: That was really inspired. They’re the most twin of the bunch. Oh, and this is amazing. This is amazing because that's all real time. That wallet never came off. This was this whole section we just gave to Apollo.
Amy: Yeah. He's like, what can you do? And he just basically-
John: And he took Beth aside and they came up with a bunch of- it’s like, you know what? We're just gonna run camera, you just do a bunch of you do you, man.
Amy: By the way, there was no one else we had in mind for Apollo. Even when I was like- when I came up with the concept, and then I also did the outline, I also called the character Apollo, hoping at some point we would actually cast him.
John: But was the Wil Wheaton character originally a girl?
Amy: In fact, she was.
John: Yes, that’s right.
[Laughter]
Amy: Yeah, it was- I believe it was a hot Latina- 
John: Yes.
Amy: -that he was going up against, and then at some point, you know, in the casting process I turned to you and I was like, ‘You know, we've been talking about Wil Wheaton for something. Is this not the prefect role or not?’
John: And Noa Tishby rocking the dress. Noa was actually in the Israeli army. So that was kinda cool as we were looking at a lot of different actresses and Dean had seen her tape.
Dean: Yeah.
John: And it was like, you know, I wanna try a different ethnicity. I wanna try a different look, and brought her in. And what's great is she looks like she can take a punch, you know, that's a tough chick. And she really did great in the fight scenes and was a really- we got really lucky in this episode.
Amy: Oh yeah.
John: You know, we usually have to cast one big role; we cast five. 
Dean: Right.
John: And they were all great.
Dean: Now this fight scene was-
John: Ok I'm gonna take credit for this one because nobody else is-
Amy: I wasn't gonna take credit for it.
John: No shadow on this, I had to explain this 9 times.
[Laughter]
Amy: Oh yeah, that’s right.
Dean: And this sequence was actually getting directed by Marc Roskin and you, John.
John: Yes, at two o’clock in the morning. But I will give Mark Franco big props for throwing the old 1970’s film look.
Amy: The film reel stuff.
Dean: I love it.
John: That is so great. The Shaw brothers look is that and this is the whole-
Dean: That's how they see- in their minds that's how they see fights, like the karate movies they grew up watching. 
John: Yes. And this is based on two things. 1) a great story about samurais- I love that look that Chris did. Great story about two samurai who faced each other, knew each other’s skills so well they fought the entire fight in their head and walked away. And Warren Ellis’ character the Midnighter from The Authority comic book who has sort of the same thing. He does fights backwards in his head. Ah look at that, oh he's a great physical actor, too, it was really- it was nice, cause we cast Apollo, he's never done acting before, he'd never done TV before. And it's the one gamble on the whole show and he was fantastic.
Dean: And he totally pulled it off.
Amy: But he's just so damn charming, it’s like you, sort of, just believed from the beginning that he could do it.
John: Yeah, he's very dangerous. 
[Laughter]
John: It's really- if he ever turned evil, we'd be in a lot of trouble.
Amy: Oh my gosh.
Dean: This next sequence, outside, while I had done the storyboards for it, Marc Roskin shot the hell out of it. And what we wanted to do was an homage to the great Western movies, you know, the Spaghetti Western.
John: Well this was the challenge, and we talked about this when we were writing it. It’s like, nobody does hacking in an interesting way. There's no way to do hacking in an interesting way.
Amy: Visually it’s- filming it is not effective.
John: So abandon trying to do it with the computers and just do the metaphor, which is two guys pitting each other’s intellects against each other, and make it text.
Amy: And it's much more interesting, look at each other than looking at screens.
John: Oh and that timing is great, look at this, it’s just fantastic.
Amy: This is so nerdgasmic.
[Laughter]
Dean: He even had that Spaghetti Western whistle.
Amy: Yeah. I remember the first cut it was only in there subtly and you were like, ‘Hey turn that up, man.’
Dean: Listen, I’m-
John: And look at the little holster move, too. 
Dean: I'm all for subtly, I just want a lot more of it.
[Laughter]
John: Oh no, Wil knocked it out of the park in this. Did you know that he had been doing a bunch of shows and people have come up and asked him to sign his autograph as this character?
Amy: As Chaos.
Dean: That's great.
John: Somebody came up with the anarchists cookbook and asked him to sign it as Chaos.
Dean: And I love that Sophie can’t use a computer.
[Laughter]
John: Utterly useless.
Dean: She just closes it.
John: Well Hardison’s taught Eliot- and the look to the swords. We had so much fun coming up with different props in the scenes. And this was at 2 o’clock in the morning fight fight fight, you win. Fight fight fight, you win. And just- cause they had to learn the routines and we were banging it out in three sizes at a time, it was great. Then we shot the bird. 
Amy: So many looks.
John: And this- you could run the entire Parker/Apollo scene without dialogue and you'd know exactly what's going on.
Amy and Dean: Yeah.
John: Actually-
Dean: She's a little bit the Harpo. You know what I mean.
Amy: She's the Harpo.
John: She's the Harpo, he's Groucho in that scene, it's very subtle.
Amy: Is that Chase? Was that Chase walking towards the camera? It looked a little like Chase.
John: No, no. And this is, again, one of the rules, one of the hard rules of doing these shows. These shows are very hard, is that it can't be a random obstacle. Whatever is your obstacle heading into the third or fourth act must either be a product of the villains plan which you've already set in motion, or something that the team has screwed up or succeeded too well. And not screwed up too often cause that means they suck. So-
Amy: You make it sound like we did something good on purpose. That’s awesome.
John: Yeah, every now and then. And this is just- I want-
Dean: We almost didn’t do this.
John: We almost didn't do, but this is the punchline to the bit, that they're so locked into each other-
Dean: I'm so glad we did it.
John: Yeah. I actually was ready to bail on it, you were like, ‘Yeah, you know what? Let's make time.’ And the little look, and he gives them a bunch-
Dean: A bunch of crazy idiots.
John: Yeah, exactly. Now this is great, Nate’s totally lost in the need to win at this point.
Amy: Oh yeah.
Dean: I love Parker saying that, ‘The people in this line of work are unstable; we can use that.’
John: Yes.
Dean: Completely not realizing that she's in that line of work.
John: Tapping the pad look at that and look at the look Chris- that's another thing. 
Amy: ‘I'm totally helping.’ That's it.
John: Gina gives a little smile which I missed the first time I saw this show.
Amy: There's a lot of little subtleties.
John: And again, second season, you start pairing up things differently. Chris and Gina found a nice rhythm for Sophie and Eliot this year that wasn't there first year, just in the pairings. And we wound up working; it was nice. And this is- yeah, she killed a guy with a mop.
Dean: I love Hardison's jealousy about Chaos, the whole ‘ugh.’
Amy: ‘Chaos.’
[Laughter]
John: Cause, you know, and it's a great thing of acting on Aldis’ part, you know he's beat him. You know that Chaos has beaten him a couple times. He's really- he’s not a pleasant loser, Hardison. And the nice little fist tap for the Kobayashi Maru.
Amy: Nice little knuckle bump, Parker. 
John: Yup. Well that was another one of the little subtle things, that Parker has plainly sat down and watched like all nine Star Trek movies with Hardison because it was just something he did on a Saturday, you know?
[Laughter]
Amy: Well she wants to see, you know, what normal people do.
John: Yeah, Hardison's probably a bad example of that.
Amy: I don't think that's right- the right choice.
John: There's not- you know-
Amy: I gotta say, I love Tim in this scene.
John: Yeah. He’s really mad.
Dean: This one, out of all the cutting back and forth, this was the trickiest because it had to match rhythm, intensity-
Amy: And dialogue.
Dean: -and dialogue.
John: That's right. 
Dean: This was really tricky.
John: Line by line. And that was the tricky bit, too. We had to give both of them the entire script for each one so they could know what they were doing to each other. I think- did Griffin come down the first day and watch Tim?
Dean: I actually think this was Griffin’s either first or second day on the show.
John: That's right. Tim came down to watch- yeah, so he would know what he had done physically. There's a parallel structure even with the team. This was a lot of fun. But this is one of those things that looks really elegant, but scripting, it's a little chimpy. It’s like, once you know what you're going to do, this wrote pretty easy.
Amy: Ok, yes, but I'm gonna go on record in saying that this is the best third act we've ever done in the history of Leverage. I just love it so much.
John: Well, you know what? Again, this is something you sorta learn. We- you know what? You learn how to write the show while you write the show. This is when we really where we realize you only need to do one thing an act. We so tried to buff all the people and, ‘Oh look, at the incredible plot twist’ like, you know what? They're fun characters, they're good characters, let them do one thing.
Dean: Yeah, it's fun to watch them do their thing.
John: One thing every act.
Dean: And I love how they all started to get pumped up for it. On both sides, they are gearing up for game day.
John: This is a great act break.
Amy: Nothing about that act I dont like. And I had very little to do with it.
John: This is easily- this is one of my favorite shows of the season. Of both seasons.
Amy: Mine too.
Dean: And beautifully photographed by our great cinematographer, Dave Connell.
John: That's right, because we were shooting parallel; we were shooting inside the museum and outside. You were outside running back and forth.
Dean: Very intense.
John: And this is a lot of fun. All the security guys were great. Portland once again gave us a great, great acting pool. 
Amy: Go Portland!
John: And then this was a lot of fun, was setting up the snarky dialogue and Aldis and Wil basically sat and sweated in their vans-
Amy: Yeah.
John: -for 6 hours. Cause Aldis is always going, ‘Nobody knows what it's like to work in the van’. That van is hot. So he was very glad to have a playmate.
Amy: Aldis had like one full day of shooting in the van and nowhere else.
John: Yeah, exactly.
Dean: I love the character Tim came up with here, that was great.
John: And Emily is actually the girl I went to prom with. That's where the name comes from.
Dean: Nice.
John: Yep.
Dean: Poor Emily.
John: Yeah I’m- hey!
[Laughter]
Amy: I said nothing. If you noticed, I stayed quiet and said nothing. I'm learning.
John: And Tim plays drunk, distracting guy an awful lot this season. This- and by the way, the security guard that talks him down is great, he's got a really great comedic beat. This, by the way, is a stunning sequence.
Dean and John: 10 millimeter lens.
Amy: 10 millimeter lens? 
John: Down in the basement.
Dean: And look at this steadicam move - down the stairs!
Amy: Running down the stairs.
John: This is a guy walking!
Dean: And then whipping around, that is-
Amy: This is inhuman.
John: It really is.
Dean: For steadicam artists, they will understand how difficult that shot is.
John: By the way, I like the fact that we just locked Beth into the air conditioning system.
[Laughter]
John: ‘Are we gonna build one? No, there's one downstairs! Should we put Beth Riesgraf in moving machinery? If she's up for it.’
Amy: Not sure why we had to put the lock it, but that's ok.
John: It's a good look. And oh yes, it-
Dean: I think this is my favorite of all the air duct scenes, this is my favorite air duct scene.
Amy: This is actually-
John: Well like Two Horse- all of Two Horse where she was bitching while having to do it.
Amy: Oh yeah.
John: This is also- we built the most complicated duct system on earth for this.
Dean: Talk about the bird, because you were there for this.
John: Oh yeah, I- we thought the bird would be CG, much like, we thought we’d be on a CG roof the series premiere, instead we wound up in Chicago 40 stories up. Dean went and found a bird- 
[Laughter]
John: -a North American Kestrel. He said it would be easier to shoot a real bird that was trained, and so if you go on my blog you see pictures of the bird, but that's the last thing we did that night, so at 2 am we had this bird in a box, which was really beautiful.
Dean: Yeah.
John: And- 
Amy: No birds were harmed in the making of this episode.
John: No birds were harmed. It was a really beautiful bird. But yeah, the trainer was hiding right off screen to summon the bird to get it to fly across.
Dean: This was actually one of the most difficult fight scenes we've ever shot, mainly because of the small space they were in.
John: How did you get the camera up there?
Dean: We literally locked it onto the ceiling and just let it run for the whole day. And then hoped we had good material.
John: Oh cool. That everybody would hit their marks.
Amy: She's so intense, I love it.
John: And the- him switching back over to Hebrew, this was a lot of fun. Oh and ‘now I’ve got the lasers.’
Amy: ‘No, now I’ve got the lasers!’
Dean: His arrogance was just awesome.
John: The two of them were fantastic.
Amy: He’s almost too good at it.
John: Big thanks to Derek, yet again, for building a great interface that lets the audience know exactly what’s going on.
Amy: Derek’s our graphics guy, he's amazing.
John: Does all our computer stuff. And our security guards, you know, somewhat oblivious, but good guys.
Dean: That's just the oldest gag in the world that I love.
Amy: It flickers only when they're not looking at it.
John: You know what it is, it’s the Abbott and Costello, it’s the candle on Dracula’s coffin.
[Laughter]
Dean: And I love that.
John: I love that reveal.
Dean: And he comes in dressed as, and named as, Nate Ford. I mean, that is just fabulous.
Amy: He's with the insurance company, what?
John: It is a great little, ‘Fuck you,’ from that character. 
Dean: And Tim’s look at him for doing it, it’s just awesome.
John: But this was the fun of the fourth- and this was really hard when we were plotting. It's like ok, in the fourth act they have to be good, but they have to look like they’re losing. And they have to look like they're losing so bad you come into the fifth act not knowing if they won, and then we have to somehow pull it out.
Amy: Yeah. This, by the way, the scene with the two of them talking with the bird cage, was one of the first images that popped into my head when we were breaking this episode. I just love this.
John: But this duct tape- cause here's the thing, we have to shoot this direction and you have to shoot them crawling off these directions. This thing was huge, a human sized hamster trail. Took up an entire ball room for that one shot. Great fight scene, and we had talked about this, and this is a lot steamier and sexier than originally pitched.
Amy: It's literally steamy.
John: Dean was all over- like ‘I'm going to fight. I'm gonna shoot the steamiest fight scene that we've ever had.’
Dean: I thought it would be interesting to do a fight scene as a love scene.
John: Yeah.
Dean: And so the fight is actually foreplay.
John: Yeah.
[Laughter]
John: And a dance. It’s really like a dance sequence. We used to always say fights are like dances because of the movement and everything, but you know, you took that very literally and everything, which was great.
Dean: Now, by the way, we've done lasers in several episodes before. 
Amy: Yeah.
Dean: These are the best lasers we ever did by far.
Amy: It's pretty cool.
John: Yeah, and having them move, that was the key. It's yet another example of something that you think will be really hard, actually turns out to be a little easier and way cooler.
Dean: And way cooler.
John: Yeah.
Dean: And again, kudos to the effects artists. If you look carefully, you can see the lasers reflecting in her pupils.
John: Reflecting in her eyes. I know, that’s sick. 
Amy: That's really hot.
John: That was really great. This is a big ‘they are screwed’ act out.
Amy: Oh my god, look at that!
Dean: That is so cool.
Amy: Why did I not notice that before?
John: And wet people fighting.
[Laughter]
John: You know what? We give you everything on Leverage.
Dean: Little sex, little violence. 
John: And it’s good.
Dean: And now we were able to take the hat off cause we were able to use the real scar on his forehead finally in the episode!
John: Also kinda cool, Kevin, our stunt coordinator, had them fighting in Israeli military style. That they were both- they had both sort of picked up- we always had Eliot kind of fight in that style, but the fact that that would be her training-
Dean: And I love that these two are standing next to Honest Abe.
[Laughter]
John: And that's a great entrance. She's really got-
Amy: ‘Oohhh.’
John: She's got 3 great entrances this year. 
Amy: Yeah, she does.
John: One I'm not gonna talk about. 
Amy: Cause you haven't seen it yet.
John: You haven’t seen it yet. But the Annie Croy entrance in the season opener was one of my favorite Gina bits, and then that.
Dean: Fabulous. Gina absolutely brought her A game this season.
John: And yup, this is our double just whipping through this.
Amy: That was me.
John: That was you? I forgot about that.
[Laughter]
Amy: It's a secret skill. I don’t like to talk about it.
John: And that's the thing, that was footage of the gymnast whipping through those maneuvers with Beth popping up. The special effects people had to put the lasers through those moves to coordinate with- you know, ordinarily, you build these shots incredibly carefully. It was like, ‘No, here's the footage. Make it work.’
Dean: I love this old school crank.
John: ‘Can't hack a classic.’
[Laughter]
Amy: More competence porn.
John: More competence porn. Hardison- the staff will tell you the first year we had Christmas together, I got them all wind up radios and flashlights. 
Amy: Yes.
John: I'm a big believer in emergency preparedness for the apocalypse.
Amy: He cares! He cares about us. 
John: You mock.
Amy: Wants us to live through the world ending.
John: Well, you know. I play a lot of Left 4 Dead. I want to make sure my crew’s ready.
Amy: Alright, cool.
Dean: I love that - Parker not quite good at acting yet.
John: No. This is key, Parker can't do a long con. She can maintain it for maybe 4-5 minutes before her inability to mimic humans breaks down. And there we go.
Amy: By the way, this episode totally screwed my- the way I do story telling now, because I'm thinking as the criminal all the time.
John: Yeah.
[Laughter]
Amy: Like, it's terrible. ‘How would I break into an auction house? Well to control the motion sensors-’
Dean: I love this beat right here.
John: Yeah.
Dean: Like, ‘Ahh, screw the fight.’
[Laughter]
John: Well he knows he's won by this point, so it's just really- 
Dean: And she's so turned on by the fact that he did, cause no one else has ever beaten her.
John: Yeah, that was a lot of fun, was the idea that people- it's, again, you respect someone who’s competent. And the hand- yeah the little look after the handcuff-
Amy: Wow.
John: He actually looks a little scared there.
Amy: I know, I know.
John: He's like, ‘I got you! Oh wait, what did I get?’
Amy: ‘Is it over?’
John: This is nice.
Dean: In the original longer version, they originally kissed and then fell out of frame.
John: I missed that! I missed the fact that they banged out a quickie during the middle of the con.
Amy: Uh, no.
John: Alright, fine. By the way, Christian loves the badge on the chain. Anytime he can have the badge on a chain, he’s the happiest man alive. And Hardison-
Dean: A little bit of improv-ing by Aldis Hodge here.
Amy: Indeed.
John: Aldis- and again, this pops up in the next episode, Hardison always goes a little too far. He's never able to quite control the- he’s never able to get out without pushing it too far.
Amy: Are you saying that's going to catch up to him at some point?
John: That will catch up to him. The very next episode matter of fact. And yeah, this was a lot of fun driving police cars around Portland at six o’clock in the morning.
Amy: I'm sure no one was alarmed.
Dean: Now young filmmakers, that little move there is to get on the other side of the line.
Amy: Oh yes.
John: What was that?
Dean: So we- after we established them coming out of the building the camera slowly tracks over to the other shoulder on both sides, so now we're on the opposite side of the line and all of their looks have now reversed from the previous scene.
John: You and your looks.
[Laughter]
Dean: But this allowed us to now do our car gag, because we couldn’t really blow up a car in this location.
John: At two o’clock in the morning.
Dean: So we had to whip-pan off of a look to a parked car, then later we blew up a model car and replaced it.
Amy: We did two miniature explosions.
John: I love this reveal. I love this look. It’s like, ahhh, it's like Christmas.
Dean: Bingo.
John: Yeah.
Amy: Always knew you were evil, Wil Wheaton.
Dean: And now the evil speech of evil.
Amy: The evil speech of evil!
John: The evil speech of evil! A crucial part of the- well, this isn't really an evil speech of evil. The evil speech of evil is usually when they are-
Amy: Yeah, it’s the evil griping of evil.
John: The evil speech of evil is just: define your behavior. He's straight up monologuing here.
Dean: This is a little bit more of the, ‘I would’ve gotten away if it weren’t for you meddling kids.’
John: Yes, exactly.
Amy: Are you saying this is a Scooby Doo?
John: In the original version of this, he pulls off the Wil Wheaton mask only to reveal he's still Wil Wheaton.
[Laughter]
John: But he wears a Wil Wheaton mask. You know what? We should've called Wil for this.
Amy: Oh my god, why didn’t we do that? Now we gotta record it again.
John: I know. Maybe- You know what? We’ll do one on iTunes with him.
Amy: We'll do a special one.
John: And we may be playing Dungeons and Dragons while we actually do the commentary. This is great now. This is tough. And talk about- we had a couple different endings for this episode in this particular scene.
Amy: Yes.
John: Go ahead.
Amy: I don't remember them, I just remember there were multiple endings. [Laughs]
John: We actually, for a couple different versions of the outline, had him lose. Had Nate and the guys lose.
Amy: Oh, that’s right.
John: And then our team conned them about the painting. And the moral was basically our team kinda sitting around, pissed off they lost, but they were still a family while the other team broke up. And it just didn't feel-
Dean: Wasn't satisfying.
John: It was one of those good writer beats- and that's why Dean’s actually a very valuable producing partner, because he's all heart. 
[Laughter]
John: Seriously man, he’s- and he’s, ‘I don't feel it.’
Amy: And we have none.
John: And we have none, because we’re writers and our blackened little hearts are shriveled away.
Amy: And our dark souls.
John: It's very easy when you're writing a con and heist show to get a little too clever for your own good.
Amy: It’s true.
John: And Dean’s a very good barometer on, ‘You know, do I really-? Am I gonna be happy with this?’ And you know, he’s right.
Dean: I like a little fromage.
Amy: Well what were the reasons-?
John: No, not fromage, but just, you know-
Amy: I think one of the reasons we were gonna have them losing was that this was gonna be episode three or four, and then we had the wild thought that we would bring the evil team back for episode seven.
John: Yes.
Amy: And sort of do, you know, ‘We lost the first one, but we won the second one.’
Dean: There's the recall of your Emily story.
John: Yes, that's right, the little go to the dance with. No it's- oh and that's great.
Dean: Again, that was Apollo who came up with that idea. 
John: Yeah, that they're picking-
Dean: A lockpicking race.
John: And also Beth tossing the lockpick into the air and catching it? After a week with Apollo, she’d really gotten disgustingly good. I think they're actually picking there.
Amy: Well Apollo has gone on record as saying Beth can actually be a professional pickpocket if she wanted to.
John: She's got soft hands.
Dean: And this is, again, one of those scenes where Christian shows you how good he is at comedy. How subtle he is when he realizes she may be the person who actually shot him.
Amy: Look at that look!
[Laughter]
John: Yeah. 
Amy: His eyes widen just like a millimeter, but-
John: Yeah. And that was an improv, I think. ‘Y’all nasty’. He's supposed to just look at it. 
Amy: That’s awesome.
John: And Griffin doing the Nate Ford, ‘I'm an honest man’ speech here, incredibly uncomfortably!
Dean: Well, we always want the villain to suffer and this is how he suffers.
John: He’s just sweating it out.
Amy: He's getting more satisfaction out of watching Griffin Dunne lose than he is from getting the painting back to the clients.
John: Which is something wrong.
Amy: Yes, that's not right.
John: Sophie's actually the moral center of this scene.
Amy: This is the episode where they, in a way, sort of switch roles. She becomes the honest thief, and he becomes-
John: They were a lovely couple. God, these actors were nice.
Dean: Just amazing local actors.
John: No, this was a lot of fun. And then, again, giving him just enough rope to hang himself with. And making sure that he's pissed off enough to come back in season three.
Dean: The other part of this scene I like is, it really shows how far Sophie has come, that she’s actually not just doing this, she’s actually, really- she’s drank the kool aid by now. She really believes in what they're doing. 
John: To a little bit more than Nate at this point.
Amy: Yeah.
John: Yeah. Which, you know, and that- we really took the, ‘You killed Sophie Deaveraux.’ And the funeral was a late addition; that wasn't in the first outline.
Dean: Yeah.
Amy: No, it wasn't. That was something that we added later. 
John: Yeah it was. 
Amy: But that was an element of knowing we were gonna lose Gina and trying to set up an awesome departure.
John: Yup. And that bomb thing wound up being really- Because originally- it was originally a sort of investigatory clue path and then when we lose Gina it's like, alright let's scare the audience a little here.
Dean: How did you come up with this bit of how they tracked-?
John: I think that was some geek bullshit I had in the notebook, I’m fairly sure. Whenever it’s some tiny minutiae of how phones work, it’s you know-
Amy: Good old GPS.
John: Yeah well, you know what? I think at the time there were some protests about the fact that you couldn't turn off the GPS tracking in your phone, and it was- they were talking about a lot in England you being able to do that, so that just kinda stuck.
Amy: Well I imagine all this would-
Dean: There's Chase!
Amy: See, yeah, there's Chase. I knew I saw him at some point.
John:  Is this-? Yeah, here we go. All these great local actors.
Dean: And I love the security guard; this woman is fabulous.
Amy: So much personality, only a few lines.
John: And again, this is one of those things where you are trying to come up with a really clever way to screw him and then you suddenly realize, no, it’s just a box full of paintings; there's nothing really subtle about this. You’re just going to jail forever.
Dean: But in a way, this is what makes it work. ‘This is the real one.’
John: We had a couple of different notes, too.
Amy: He lost by winning. Cause what he wanted was the paintings, and we gave him the paintings, but that’s what did him over in the end.
John: Another rule: the villain must be brought down by their own sin. 
Dean: Now this, for me, is my favorite scene for a number of reasons. 
John: It’s a good scene.
Dean: First of all, just the lighting. We got this at the perfect time of day.
John: Yeah, how'd we get the lighting Dean?
[Laughter]
Dean: We accidentally went over that day and somehow went into-
Amy: Oh accidentally?
John: Oh did the director somehow go over in the morning, so we just happened to be shooting at the magic hour?
Dean: It was odd how that worked out.
Amy: Oh interesting.
Dean: That we just happened to be in magic hour to shoot the romantic scene.
Amy: That is so funny.
John: What I love is the fact that you’d never work again as a director for boning your producer that bad, except you’re the producer?
[Laughter]
John: No, this scene is stunning.
Dean: They both knocked it out of the park on this day. And for me, it's weird to say it because I directed the episode, but this is the best almost-kiss I’d ever seen before. And it's really the way they did it.
John: Yeah. This was another one where it was like, set up the cameras, let the actors work.
Dean: This was also a callback to what happened in the episode at the school, because-
Amy: Fairy Godparents.
John: Yeah.
Dean: Cause in the Fairy Godparents that she had never really been honest. 
John: Exactly.
Dean: And here she realizes she doesn't know who she is anymore because she's been so many other people for so long.
Amy: She got dumped because she wasn't being truthful with her boyfriend, and she actually recited all the names of her aliases, and this is sort of the callback to her having to bury them in order to move on.
John: Yeah, she's more attached to fake people than real people and it’s caught up with her. And this is the moment where Sophie Deaveraux becomes a better human being than Nate Ford.
Dean: And that red coat was totally Gina.
John: That was Gina. That's right, she came in with that she and Nadine went hunting for that. This is a great almost kiss.
Dean: Ow! Ow!
John: This was an Italian over. This is- what's that terminology?
Dean: It’s a French over. Rather than being in the front of them, you're over their backs and then this walk away.
Amy: The Italian over is you're drinking wine while you’re doing it.
John: And this walkaway was fantastic with that light right there!
Amy: Through the trees! It's so pretty.
John: You knew what scene was good when we were shooting it because I was watching it on the monitor and I turned around and all the local PA’s were standing behind us watching the scene and two of the girls were crying.
Dean: Yeah. It was awesome.
John: You just really nailed it. And that was going to be the summer season ender, 207, and wound up being still a great send off for that character. And really one of the best episodes of the two years I gotta say.
Amy: Yup, it's one of my favorites for sure.
Dean: For me it's almost like the two part season finale of one, season one, done in one episode.
Amy: Yeah, exactly.
Dean: So thank you for watching.
John: Thank you for watching.
Amy: Thanks everybody!
65 notes · View notes
allaboutthebooz · 4 years
Text
Die From A Broken Heart Pt. 1
Summary: When Steve left, he didn’t know just how much it affected everyone. He didn’t know how much it hurt her. Now, Bucky’s left to pick up the pieces.
Warnings: Painful angst. It’ll rip your heart out.
A/N: It’s finally here. This will be two parts. I truly mean it this time. Buuuuut if it turns into more, it’ll have to wait until after I finish ‘I See The Light’ because that deserves my attention more than anything. I did some editing to this part, so it is slightly different to what was shared in the sneak peak, but I hope you all love it just as much. Enjoy, babes!
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One month. That’s how long it’s been since Tony and Nat died. One month since Thanos was defeated again. One month since the biggest fight of their lives. One month since they went back in time and their lives changed forever. One month since Steve left. Left the team, left Bucky after just getting him back again, and left you. Without so much as a goodbye. Just let everyone believe he was returning the stones to their right place in time. He did return them, but he never came back. He never came home. At least, not the same time you call home. Nothing could explain the hurt you felt when Bucky got your attention, while Sam and Bruce fought about the Quantum Realm platform, and you turned to see what he was staring at. Steve, well and older version of Steve, sitting on the bench by the lake.
“Hiya, sweetheart.” He older voice rasps when you come into his view. Your eyes shining with unshed tears.
“How-What happened? Did something happen? Did you get stuck?” You ask, hands trembling.
“Everything went fine.”
“Then how are you-? Why are you-?” You cut yourself off.
From there he explains what happened. How he saw Peggy in the underground bunker at Camp Lehigh when he and Tony went back to 1970. How all he could do was stand there looking at her through the glass. How utterly empty he felt before seeing her. How he had given up hope of ever having a life with her, but Tony helped him realize that he had a second chance and he took it. He put the stones back and went even further back to the forties, where he and Peggy finally got their dance, got married, had children and grew old together.
“So, you just left me? What about our future? We were gonna get married.”
“I know and I’m so sorry, sweetheart, but I had to do this. I can never explain it in a way to help you understand why I had to do it, and I will never forgive myself for hurting you like this.”
Everything else he said after that just sounded like he was a million yards away because your heart was pounding so loud in your ears. You let the tears fall as you stood and walked away from him. Bucky calling your name as you got in your truck and drove away.
Now, here you sat. At the compound, in the kitchen. Sitting at the island, alone with nothing but a bottle of red wine and a half empty glass in front of you as you cried. You asked F.R.I.D.A.Y to play some music, to fit the mood, softly through the speakers in the kitchen.  As the tears fall from your eyes, you start to think maybe it wasn’t such a good idea. The way Maddie Marlow sings about the exact heartbreak you have been feeling for the last month, does you in. You sink your head down into your folded arms on top of the island top and sob. Your shoulders quaking with every wale. Your stomach muscles sore from contracting it’s been doing.
You’re so lost within your own heartbreak, that you don’t realize someone has joined you. You jump at the feel of two hands settling on top of your shoulders, knocking your glass over. You turn to see who interrupted crying session, to find two winter blue eyes staring at you with so much sorrow that you start to cry all over again. Your pulled into the person in front of you, two arms-one warm and one cool- holding you tight. A scratchy jaw rubbing against your forehead as you press your mouth against the cloth covered chest, concealing your howls as much as you can.
Bucky’s voice rumbles through his body, letting you feel the vibrations as he tries to comfort you the best that he can. Too many times, has he been woken up to your crying. Too many times, he’s tried to convince himself that you were okay. That you just needed time. But here you were, a month later and it seems, feels as though there is no end in sight to your pain easing. He knew that Steve leaving would be hard on you, but he had hoped that you would be okay. He understands though. How Steve could just up and leave his best girl-well maybe not best- he’ll never know. How he could give up what you both had? Bucky could strangle him, if he wasn’t already so damn old.
He promised Steve he would take care of you and until now, he hasn’t done that. The only thing he’s done is make sure you don’t get yourself killed on missions. You’ve grown reckless, careless. Like your life doesn’t matter anymore. As if, Steve was the only fucker who cared about you.
He visits the old version of his best friend often. At least once a week. And every time, Steve asks how you are. Bucky knows he should lie, but he doesn’t. He tells him the truth. How you almost wish you were dead. How no matter where you are in the compound, he can still hear you crying over the man who chose a woman from the past of her. How you sold the house the two of you bought not long after the snap. How you barely slept anymore. How he had to make sure you at something every day. How utterly destroyed you are. He hopes that tell Steve all of this, makes him feel an ounce of the pain you feel, but he’s not sure if it does or not. Steve never says much after that, just ‘She’ll get better. I know she will.’ And Bucky always responds Is don’t know, pal. You don’t see her the way I do.’
Now, he stands here holding you as you cry against him. Your harsh sobs have calmed down and turned into soft intakes of air, like you’re trying to catch your breath. He pulls you away from him, cupping your warm face in his hands and wipes the tears from your face. Your cheeks pink, you eyes puffy.
“I’m sorry, Buck. I didn’t mean to wake you.” You apologize in a small voice.
“Wasn’t asleep, doll.” He runs a hand over your hair. “Just thought you’d rather not be alone.”
You shake your head with a small sarcastic laugh. Steve Carlson’s voice fills the speakers, another heartbreak song. “I just don’t understand. How could he leave me, so easy? Am I just that easy to forget about? Was our life together, not as great as I thought it was?”
“I don’t know. I can’t answer any of that. What I can say, is that one day it won’t hurt so bad. One day, you’ll be happy again.”
“It doesn’t feel like it.”
“And it won’t for a long time, but one day you’ll wake up and it’ll hurt a little less.”
You nod, unconvinced. “Thanks, Bucky.”
“Anytime, Y/N. What do you say we watch some cheesy movie?”
You sniff and give him a half smile. “Breakfast at Tiffany’s?”
He huffs. “Yeah. Sure.”
You give him a real smile this time. The first one he thinks he’s actually seen, since everything happened. Hopefully, he’ll get to see it more often, because it’s brighter than the stars in the night sky.
**
Time goes on. Some days are better than others. Other days, they could be sitting around the compound or out at the bar after a long mission and everything would be okay, then suddenly Y/N would just go blank. Lost in her mind. Lost to the memories. Sam and Wanda rarely noticed when it happened, but Bucky had gotten so used to watching her that he always saw that far-away look on her face. He’d bring her back to reality, with a touch of his hand. She’d blink a few times before giving him a sad smile. It felt like a never-ending circle, until…until it didn’t.
One day, he noticed that she was different. She smiled brighter. She laughed more freely. She never got that far-away look in her eye. It’s like she was back to being the Y/N that he knew before Steve left. He didn’t worry about her when they were on missions. She was more careful. He felt like she was caring more about herself and those around her.
And then the worst happened. Steve happened. Again.
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barnesandco · 4 years
Text
Nikah: March
Story Masterlist
Nikah: noun, Arabic, meaning the contract of marriage.
Bucky marries Peter’s former tutor because her student visa’s about to expire and the government isn’t granting her a green card. Can she find a way to permanent residence by marriage, and if so, will it be at the cost of their hearts?
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Warnings: None.
A/N: Written under the Arranged/Accidental Marriage trope for @mermaidxatxheart​ ‘s writing challenge. Thank you all for reading and commenting! (Picture below is mine, btw)
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Bucky’s birthday arrives amidst blooming flowers and a pollen-scented breeze, the day marked by preparations for a party Sam is throwing for him at one of the hotels downtown. Avengers and close friends only, yet he’s spared no expense, insisting on a proper welcome back. The captain is unrelenting in matters of social activity, especially since he has been spending minimal time with his teammates since his marriage. Marriage. He shakes his head at himself in the floor length mirror as he straightens his cuff-links and moonlight catches on the gold band on his finger. It no longer feels like a burden.
Rather, it’s a seed that’s been planted on him, and it’s taken root inside him, growing, growing, growing into a steady feeling of friendship with the person he wears it for. An understanding, a companionship. He refuses to confess to anything more, even within the confines of his own mind. His heart, on the other hand, has no compunctions about making its opinion known, setting off like a hare being hunted whenever she approaches. Most dangerous assassin in the world, defeated by her smile.
She offers him one now when she enters, picture perfect elegance very nearly succeeding in concealing her nerves. Bucky’s nerves, meanwhile, are on fire at the sight of her, sensory overload short-circuiting his brain. He finally turns to look at her directly and the fox-hunt pace of his heart stumbles, stutters to a stop.
“You- you’re- jeepers,” Is all he can manage, the rosewater blush deepening on his cheeks. It has the opposite of the desired effect, and she steps back, mascaraed eyes widening, horrified.
“It’s too much, isn’t it. Oh God, I knew I should’ve-”  She begins to reach for a tissue box on the dresser and Bucky stops her. Lowers her hand slowly and keeps a hold of it, as if she will float away otherwise.
“Jesus, doll, stop. You’re perfect,” He tells her, and she slips her hand away but smiles a little as she sits on the foot of the bed - their bed - to put on her shoes.
“Thank you. You look nice, too,” She says, lifting the hem of her black gown as she pulls on pearl white heels. The matching clutch - pearl encrusted - is on the bedside table, and he hands it to her as they leave the room and then the apartment. 
“Hang on, your tie is loose,” She says the moment they enter the elevator. He can’t even press the button for the ground floor while she holds him in place. The split-second it takes for her to wrap her hands around the green silk and pull it tighter stretches into hours, the graze of her knuckles gentle in his cotton-covered chest. He has enough time to carve the shape of her cupid’s bow into his mind, the descent of her jaw to her chin into his lungs. After half an eternity, she puts distance between them again and presses the button while he tries to smooth his hair back only to feel the short strands tickle between his fingers, and he remembers cutting it last week.
The lobby is bustling, people coming and going like bees in a hive, and they nod their hellos and offer the doorman a Good evening before getting in the car Sam sent. The seats are cold and comfortable, and the chauffeur tips his hat once in the rear-view mirror before putting the Rolls Royce into gear.
“ ‘Possess ye, therefore, ye who borne about In chariots and sedans, know no fatigue’ ” She murmurs, letting her fingers trace the stitching in the butter-soft leather. 
“Marlowe?” Bucky asks, turning away from the New York evening, that special, streetlights-reflecting-on-wet-asphalt evening, to look at his wife. 
“William Cowper. The Task.”
“I think I’ve read that one,” He lies, fully prepared to come clean, and she looks at him curiously. 
“Wow, really? Even I haven’t read all six books,” She says, dubiously verging on impressed, and Bucky drops the facade.
“I’m pullin’ your leg. I’ve read some of Cowper’s work. Don’t remember much, but bits and pieces of school are still there,” He explains, all cheeky smile. “What’s it about? And why in God’s good name is it six books long?” This - the conversation, letting her talk about her work, her passion for literature - this he can do. Playful questions intermingling with genuine intellectual interest is manageable. Her beauty, her grace, the cloud of perfume that bleeds into his veins and makes his lungs strive for air, is not. So he concentrates on what he knows. Or doesn’t know, apparently.
“Honestly, what isn’t The Task about?” She laughs, eyeshadow glimmering like stardust in the smile wrinkles in the corners of her intelligent eyes. “Cowper had a bit of a breakdown during his barrister training in London, and retired to the countryside. In 1781, he met his friend Lady Austen, who later gave him a task to write about, to cheer him up. He started, and then just followed that train of thought wherever it took him.”
“Which book is that line from?” Bucky asks as the car stops in the inevitable Friday night traffic jam. At least they accounted for it, leaving early on purpose to avoid tardiness.
“I don’t actually remember. I think it’s from an extract in which Cowper criticizes the superficial pleasures and unnecessary luxuries of city life,” She answers, opening her clutch. Her phone and a tube of lipstick peek out but she reaches deeper for a pair of earrings.
Closing her eyes, she fastens the first one on the side Bucky can’t see, the other crescent-moon shaped accessory in her silk draped lap. The flower made from pearls matches her bracelet, the two pieces of jewellery clinking together as she puts on the other one.
“City life, huh?” Bucky muses, trying desperately to calm his heart. The earrings dangle, contrasting wonderfully against her simple black gown, and he swallows. She looks like royalty.
“Yeah, many poets of the time wrote a lot about the beauty of nature. They had a lot more of it at their disposal, I guess,” She shrugs.
“Do you have any favorites?” “Nature poems? I don’t know. There are so many good ones. Wordsworth’s To the Cuckoo, Herrick’s Daffodils, Yeats’ Wild Swans at Coole, Tennyso-” She cuts herself off with a huff of a laugh at herself.
“What is it?” 
“Nothing, no- I just-” She laughs again, trying to wave her hand like she’s shooing a fly. “I just have conflicting feelings about these poems by classical authors who write about nature. Poems that express a keen appreciation of beauty yet are fillled with sadness because so many beautiful things are short-lived and because human life itself is so short,” She says, twirling the ring around her finger, deep in thought. Bucky doesn’t know how he found her. This simple, wise soul, in the midst of all the chaos of the world. The chaos of resettlement. 
The chaos of the kitchen, an hour before dinner as the Avengers prepare dinner together, is unholy. Sam’s panicking about dessert while Wanda stirs the marinara sauce for spaghetti in her signature demure fashion, while Peter’s pile of handmade spaghetti grows taller and the pasta dough shrinks. His phone lights up on the table, and Bucky - kneading more dough nearby - is the only one who notices. He calls for Peter and pushes it over to him, not knowing what the point of having a phone is if it’s always going to be on silent, but Peter holds it out to him after just a moment of conversation.
Bucky reads the caller ID on the top and sees who it is, closing the kitchen door behind him, flour on his black t-shirt, as she speaks.
“Hi, Bucky. I hope I’m not disturbing.” 
“No, not at all. Have you decided?” He asks, pacing the hallway, staying out of sight of the others. Not that it matters, they’re still fairly busy. She had seemed unsure when they met, and he had given her time to decide it she wanted to do this. 
“Yeah, but I just- this is a huge favor,” She says.
“Not to me, doll. I’m just helping a friend of a friend,” He says, and it isn’t entirely true. That isn’t why he’s doing this. Something in him wanted to help, wanted to repay the debt of kindness that he owes the world. This is how he wants to do it, although he doesn’t think it’s fair that he gets to choose his penance.
“I thought you said Peter talks your ears off.” Bucky cringes, grateful she can’t see his face, even though he can hear the joking lilt of her tone.
“He’s a good kid. And I want to do this. Do you?” 
“Yeah.” A lengthy pause, heavy and tangible, even across the phone line. 
“When do you want to get married?” She asks finallly, voice shaking. His hand is, too. 
“We have a week-long mission right after Christmas. Boxing day arms deal in Sao Paulo,” He replies, cursing the Brazilian gangs who could find no other time do get up to no good. Evil doesn’t go on vacation, and neither do the Avengers.
“So… New Year’s Eve?” She asks, doing the math. He realizes that’s true. A week from Boxing Day.
“Yes. Shit, you don’t have a ring-” He begins to say, freaking out about the logistics. He didn’t even propose properly.
“It’s okay, we’ll figure it out.” “Alright, I’ll see you then.”
“Bye Bucky.”
“G’night.” He bids her farewell, then looks at the phone, asking himself what the hell he’s just gotten himself into. A knot builds and twists in his body, and he tries to loosen it. Breathes, and makes his way back.
“I’m engaged,” And the kitchen freezes in time as they all drop everything - not literally, Sam’s holding a knife - to look at him. The smile on Peter’s face is brighter than the Christmas tree in the adjacent common room, and the somersaults in Bucky’s stomach only settle at the sight of his relief.  
It seems that his teammates gave him a later time on purpose, because they’re all ready, dressed to the nines and wine-tipsy, waiting for him when they enter. It’s a small ballroom, downtown Manhattan, quaint and graceful. A chorus of Happy Birthday erupts in the room, and he smiles and thanks them. The hugs pile on, and he begins to introduce his wife to his friends. Home away from home for the man who has never had one since the 1940s - until he met her, that is. She’s home now, though he wouldn’t tell her that.
Instead, he relishes in the grin she offers him between introductions, till Sam drags him off to stand him on a chair and sing a birthday song. The party commences in much a similar fashion, too much noise in the room for a couple of dozen people. He stays away from Thor’s alcohol, knowing she doesn’t drink, not wanting to make her uncomfortable. 
He’s just thinking about how she might be dealing with the hectic atmosphere when her hand slips into his while he’s talking to Harley Keener about letting him look at his arm. He’s shocked, looks at her to see her smiling and concentrating only on the conversation, but he can tell she’s tired. It’s been hours, and he knows he can’t leave early - it’s his party - but he just wants to slip those heels off her feet and sit and talk, still in partywear, for hours on end. Let her quote Byron and Cowper and Austen to him, poems and essays and books, until he falls asleep on their sofa. Instead, her voice says something he isn’t expecting at all.
“Is it possible to put some sort of temp regulation in it?” She asks curiously, head tilted to the side like a sparrow. Harley thinks it over for only a second.
“Of course, why?”
“It hurts in the cold. He rubs and rolls his shoulder a lot in the winter,” She answers, and the thoughtful observation astounds him. It’s accurate, but it hadn’t even occurred to him, the movements that she’s citing entirely subconscious. They talk to Harley for a while longer, and then dance to several of Bucky’s favorite songs. Billie Holliday is crooning in the background as the second-to-last guest exits, leaving only his wife and his captain and his deputy director. When the door shuts behind them, they break apart, and Sam and Maria approach, ready to call it a night.
The car ride home passes in complete silence, a comfortable weight resting like a blanket between them, so much so that she falls fully asleep on the way, her head resting against the cold window when they arrive. He doesn’t have the heart to wake her, so he goes around to her door, opening it slowly and lifting her into his arms, not caring what it might look like to onlookers. It’s late, and there are few of them, at least in the lobby, and as the elevator doors shut, her head curls against his shoulder, hair tickling his Adam’s apple.
Bucky looks down at her, her resting, easy expression, the chandni earrings still on, and thinks: what a way to turn 103.
Taglist:  @suz-123​ @mermaidxatxheart​ @buckyreaderrecs​ @shield-agent78​ @corneliabarnes​ @readerandcinephileingeneral​ @stevieboyharrington​ @notsomellowmushroom​ @veganfangirl5​ @mood-pancakes​ @lbuck121​ @starnight-charmer​
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bcketts · 4 years
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TASK 09. GOODBYE ALLIE!
thank you.
it's bittersweet waking up the next morning. she doesn't bring much with her, most of her stuff is still at georgetown, but she remembers thinking of when she first arrived at gallagher; how scared she was, how much she wanted to leave. she looks back at the fortress and pretty much thinks the same things, and by the time the hour-long car ride to washington d.c. is done, gallagher already feels a bit like a dream. the only thing that makes it seem real at all is jack's old watch, heavy on her wrist and clunky. it's already got a few scratches from where she keeps banging it on things, throwing her hands up in the air or about, whacking it on doors and windows. but it's a sturdy thing.
dazed and confused.
they're all allowed to pick up their things, which have been packed haphazardly into boxes for them by residential life, but allie gets two boxes. there's not much she can do with them but decide to ship them home, so she takes an uber to the post office with two boxes of things, not caring enough to go through what's inside, but mostly scared that she might start bawling. it's a weird thing, getting her phone back, and she doesn't expect it to be so dang heavy! she also thought she'd have missed a lot more text messages, but she supposes that she traveled with all her best friends, so how could they have texted her? she gets chipotle in town with a few of her friends before heading to the airport, and it feels nice to sit with the other members of the club and do something normal, just for a little while.
bring it on home.
getting home is the hard part, because she hasn't seen her parents in months and she's worried they hate her, but the second she sees them near the baggage claim, tears spring to her eyes and she's running at them full-force into a big bear hug. they smell the same. she loves her mom's perfume and her family's detergent and the way her dad laughs with his belly. but it's obvious that there's something missing, they can all tell, and the presence of their daughter just hammers home the absence of their son. the group hug feels awkward with just three people, like she's not sure where to put her hands without jeremy around, and her parents keep finding themselves saying "you two" or referring to allie as a plural when she's really just one, a half of a whole.
that’s the way.
"i'm sorry about that phone call, while i was at school," allie says.
"that's alright, you were under a lot of stress."
"no, dad, i meant it. i don't believe the same things any more." and she expects to get yelled at, to get chewed out, but he just looks at her and nods and there's a moment of prolonged silence between them.
"sometimes, i'm not so sure myself. but what else is there?" and that makes allie very quiet, and she thinks she understands why her dad clings so hard to the things he believes in, and it's the exact same reasons why she can't keep clinging to them any longer.
over the hills and far away.
what allie doesn't do: visit her brother's grave and mope around her sad house. what she does do: says forget about it and takes off to the hamptons.
she gets one perfect week. that's what she keeps calling it – her perfect week. where she goes to visit levi in his home in the hamptons, flinging herself into his arms and covering him with tiny kisses just because she can. it's a whirlwind of a week where she gets very sunburnt, laughs all the time, and forgets for a while what it's like to be arkansas allie. she misses gallagher allie sometimes, and she wonders if she'll ever figure out how to be the perfect balance between the two, but right now, she's happy to spend many hours feeling someone else entirely: and that someone is rich! or at least as rich as levi madden is! and that someone has a lot of sex and spends a lot of time laughing and even though she's getting a college degree from an ivy league that could make her a whole lot of money someday, allie thinks that maybe being a trophy wife wouldn't be so bad. she loves the way he smiles, or the way he smiles at her, and she tries not to count the amount of times he does it like each one might be the last and she's got to save every single one of them.
she cries her eyes out when they say goodbye at the airport because she knows it's for real this time, and the thanks him for all the ways he made her feel sane, made her feel like herself again when personhood seemed like an impossible label to reclaim. but she also knows that despite all their pretending, that he's from a different world than she is. "don't let yourself be alone," she says, "just because you won't have a normal person life doesn't mean you shouldn't have people." because most of all, she's terrified that one day levi will be forty-something and he'll look like jack, packing his bags up with no one to go home to. "okay? and please write. you promised. or, i guess you could text me, if you want to be all twenty-first century about it." and she kisses him one last time but she's so caught up in her head about it being the last time that she can't really enjoy it, not properly.
what is and never should be.
allie goes home sunkissed and smiling, because it's sad but it's the final goodbye in the weirdest chapter of her life thus far. and then, summer resumes like normal. she's going to church on sundays with her parents, working the food drive and the bake sale, and facetiming imogen, marlowe, or luce, or...whoever will pick up the phone at any chance she can get.
on the fourth week, she develops a urinary tract infection. this is because she hates to go to the bathroom and she's always holding it, because she knows to get to the toilet, she's going to have to walk by jeremy's room and remember that he's not inside, and wonder what it looks like. so, she makes herself sick, from holding it all in. but it's sort of a wakeup call, a way too obvious metaphor – almost like it was created by a really uncreative writer. she's got to face things eventually.
since i’ve been loving you.
allie can't even open the door to jeremy's room at first, mainly because her parents have plopped his big box of stuff right in front of the door. everything else is exactly how he left it. there's gum wrappers in the trash can, socks strewn across the floor. she checks under the bed and that's how she knows her parents haven't been there – there's still that box of dirty magazines, which atty used to make fun of jeremy for having. "you do know there's the internet, right?" but jeremy was into it for the aesthetic, there was something so much more authentic to jerking off to something on print rather than pixelated. and atty would say it was pretentious. conversations like this used to make allie want to die, and they still do, because she kicks the box back and whispers, "euch." and his weed is still in the sock drawer, which is a remarkably boring place to have put it. he never used to smoke or do anything until he went to college, but allie blames atty's influence. a while ago, allie would've been a good sister and thrown it out, in case her parents ever did catch him for all the weird stuff hidden in different drawers, but instead, she puts one of his led zeppelin records on and lights up, but she has to facetime milena to figure out how to use the grinder, so perhaps it's not as poetic as it sounds.
and then she goes through the box of stuff from his dorm. there's a lot of pictures of imogen, of course, and that makes her heart hurt, because she can literally see where he used to keep them on his walls, the holes of old push pins. his violin, his skateboard, all the things he used to do to keep himself occupied. allie never knew someone so busy and so lazy at the same time. she sighs, lays down on his bed and looks up at the ceiling, knowing every crack and line by heart. it aches, everywhere, but she has to get up to skip stairway to heaven, since that's just too dang ironic.
ramble on.
allie visits his grave on the last day of summer, but it's nothing like his room. she goes with her parents and allie's a sympathetic crier, so when her mom cries, she cries too, but she can't help but think that this isn't where jeremy is. with all the dead people. he's in his room, with all the things that made him himself, or he's at georgetown, laughing with her and her friends in an amnesty international meeting. he's still around, in a way. he's just not here.
bring it on back.
it's the first time that she's ever traveled from pointsett to washington, d.c. alone, but by now it's late august and she's feeling alright, almost excited for the fresh start – to see steph, hudson, and matt again, to start dreaming again how they'll save the world. because it's always more exciting to conspire with friends than alone. but of course, thoughts of gallagher academy linger in the back of her mind, and as she moves to get her bag, she whacks the clunky watch on her wrist on the overhead compartment. she shakes her wrist out, but she smiles as she wheels her suitcase down the aisles and head to hail an uber, grateful for the small reminder that she's not alone, and that it wasn't a dream.
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stevie-marlowe · 3 years
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STEVIE MARLOWE is a TWENTY-TWO year old GAY AGENDER, TEY/TEM, here in Firebrand City. People say tey looks a lot like KIERSEY CLEMONS. Tey are INQUISITIVE but can be STUBBORN. Tey is a HALF-MERMAID TRAITOR in Firebrand and tey works as a COURIER AT SWEET DREAMS.
content warning: rape
I: The Love Story
The mermaid had seen him before, kayaking through the mangrove swamps or on the shore with other humans, speaking gently but enthusiastically. She listened on occasion—he spoke of habitat encroachment and pollution and how nature was not a toy. Once she watched him administer medical care to a manatee that had been struck by a boat propeller. The creature still perished, but he tried so hard and wept over the creature’s body when it was done. He was as good as a human could be, which was more good than her tribe would give them credit for.
Her tribe was one of the last holdouts—sticking to the safety and hiddenness of the wilderness rather than risking the novelty of the surface world. Humans were danger, more so than any barracuda or hurricane they might face on their own. But still, she slowly fell in love, watching him from afar. Later she would realize she too felt the call of the surface world and had centered all her desires in one man to make it seem reasonable, or at least containable. But, back then, the only word she knew for the feeling was love.
One night, she lay with him and to her surprise, found herself with child, despite considering herself too old for such a thing. This was horrifying, at first—the shame that would come to her for bearing an abomination—but then she thought of her lover and how happy he’d be at such news. Besides, she belonged to an extremely isolated tribe, one that shunned undersea society just as much as they themselves were shunned.
She’d loved all of her children so far and this one, a freak though it was, would be no different. The mermaid desperately tried to return to him, but he fled at the sight of her, at least until she showed him the child they had made—a perfect, unholy mix of water and land.
II: The Discovery
Growing up, Stevie’s father was overprotective of tem, never letting tem swim in the ocean, despite the fact that it was the only thing tey wanted to do. The waves called to tem and the water seemed like home. He quit his job as a park ranger, and they moved to Miami where he became an aquarist. He said it was because there were better schools in the city but every once in a while, late at night, when he had had too much to drink, he cried about how much he feared losing tem and Stevie knew it was about the sea.
As a teenager, tey was constantly sneaking out and getting into trouble. Tir father supported tem most of the time as tir grades were good and tey was a star on the school’s track team (he had said no when tey had asked to be a swimmer). Despite being popular, Stevie felt never felt quite like tey belonged. During the waking hours, tey assumed it was just part of being closeted about tir sexuality, but when the sky was dark and the moon was full tey knew it was because tey belonged in the sea.
When tey helped tir school win the state track championship the team celebrated with a bonfire party on the beach. Tey brought two cases of beer and, soon enough, most of the party-goers were drunk and tey could finally—finally!—slip away. Tey waded out into the ocean and it felt right. A massive wave pushed tem underwater and, though tey struggled to hold tir breath, tey found tey somehow didn’t have to.
More miraculously, tey wasn’t alone. A school of beautiful women wish fish tails surrounded tem, offering tem friendship and, best of all, understanding. Stevie took their hands and was led off into an underwater paradise where tey learned about who tey was and how dearly tir other family had missed tem. It didn’t matter that tey was a freak—and now tey knew what kind of a freak tey was—so long as tey had the chance to explore. Tey didn’t surface for two months.
III: The Truth
When tey returned to the surface tey found that the war had come to Florida and any hope tey had of a normal life was crushed. Tir father was relieved and delighted to see tem, so much so that he couldn’t bring himself to be angry at tir disappearance. Instead he begged tem to run away a second time, to go deep into the interior, be it the forest, the desert, or the mountains. Anywhere away from here; tey could pass as a human so long as they stayed away from the sea. Stevie argued that he should come to the ocean, that there were beautiful limestone caves with air pockets large enough to live in, that tir mother still loved him. At that last declaration, he broke.
The pain and fear he had so diligently hidden from his child rushed out of him and he told Stevie that whatever story tir mother had told tem wasn’t true, that she had attacked him and while Stevie was the best thing in his life, that night was the worst. How angry he was that one night had taken the everglades, his favorite place in the world, and turned it into the stuff of nightmares. That he never dated women anymore because he could still see piece of tir mother—his attacker—in everything they did. That, while humanity had done more than its fair share of damage to the world and that he wished for a peaceful coexistence, he still felt a sharp crack of joy every time he saw a dead finfolk on TV.
Stevie held tir father than night, being his little girl one last time. As much as tey loved him, tey couldn’t deny what tey was, but tey didn’t tell him that. Best to have one last night before he went to Arizona and tey returned to the sea.
IV: The Tragedy
When tey returned to tir ocean family, tey found that most of tir tribe had scattered and tir mother was dead. A shiver of sirens had attacked them, resenting their pacifistic nature, their neutrality in the war for control. and, worst of all, the harboring of a hybrid. Tir mother stood strong, singing praises of tir father and that they should give humanity the care and love he had shown the natural world. She was killed for that, as was most of their tribe. Stevie mourned tir new friends but, after hearing the story of tir birth, couldn’t bring temself to grieve for tir mother.
Only one of tir family tribe was still there, tir youngest sister, the weakest one, the one tey had grown closest to. She had hidden when the sirens came, and has waited—not for Stevie in particular, but for something. Tey had the solution—tey and tir sister would move into tir father’s apartment and be human or mermaids, depending on who was in power. Tey had gone fifteen years believing tey was human, certainly tir sister could manage it just for a little while. Aside, tir father’s apartment had enough nooks and crannies for them to hide in if someone came a-knocking.
They lived like the teenagers they were, messy and indulgent despite the war. The two were happy, despite their grief, and Stevie was delighted to show tir sister the wonders of city life just as she had shown tem the majesty of the ocean. The good times didn’t last, however, and when a gang of drunk humans broke in an ransacked their apartment for the second time, they fled to the ocean—they might not be so lucky the next time and tensions were rising. 
V: The Wandering
Life in the sea without a tribe or family to rely on was difficult. They kept to the shallows, hiding away from known mermaid hunting grounds and close enough to the shore that Stevie could run aground and pick up supplies when things got desperate. Tey saw how badly tir sister was doing, but tey could never manage to persuade tem to either pick out a new life on shore or to travel deeper, where the best food was. The first refusal is because she feared for her life. The second was because she was ashamed of Stevie.
Tir sister begged to go to Firebrand. She said it would be safe and that even slavery would be more comfortable than the life they were living. Stevie doubted that, but tir sister was the only family tey had left. The only person tey had left. Eventually, inevitably, Stevie gave in. Tir plan was for tem to pose as tir sister’s human friend. After all, tey was good at passing. Tey’d done it for years and, as long as tey stayed dry, tey didn’t think tey’d be discovered. It was a foolish hope, but one tir sister unscrupulously encouraged.
When they reached the gates, Stevie appreciated how brave her sister had been, coming to Miami with tem after the deaths of almost everyone she knew. Tey’d never love her more than in that moment… especially as, immediately after they arrived, tir sister abandoned tem. Tey said tey understood and some days tey really did. Stevie’s hybrid status was found out immediately and, even with the collar on, people could tell.
Still, tir sister was right—slavery was better that slowly starving to death. Tey was kept comfortable as injured or hungry workers weren’t nearly as effective. Still, it was a lonely existence. Other slaves had to hope of a kind Superior taking them in, but no one would want an abomination like Stevie. Still, tey holds onto the tenuous dream that someone—most often tir sister—would swoop in and save tem.
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mymymarvel · 5 years
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Fate or not, here we are now… (pt. 2)
Mason Weaver x fem!Reader
PT1, PT3
Prompt / Idea : “ Ok, so Mason and the reader were in high school together and happened to have dated then. They go to skull island where the reader’s feelings return and Mason feels the same, however thinks the reader has moved on. You can make it smut or not, totally up to you "   By the lovely: @newcaptainofsquad9
Summary: the survivers try to reach the pick up destination as you run into a strange bearded man
Warnings: all the disastrous shit that happens in the movie so probably mentions of injuries and blood and stuff but for now nothing really (and some spelling errors im sure)
Words: 1620
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You looked up at Mason and James. Everything around them was chaos, they were covered in blood and sweat but they seemed fine apart from that.
“(Y/N) can you sit up? Do you feel any pain?” Mason looked at you concern all over her face, she took your head in her hands turning it lightly to check on you, your heart began to beat faster.
You slowly moved your body upwards and held your head “yeah I think I am alright so far. I just hit my head pretty bad but ill be fine”. Mason didn’t seem to be so happy about your answer, but you tried to stand up anyways. You wavered when you finally stood fully and as soon as you seemed tip to the side Mason had her arm around your waist to steady you.
Now that you finally had time to process what happened you realized something: “oh shit where is olly? Have you seen him?!” you frankly moved around, your head starting to spin at the movement. “Stop it, he’s over there” Mason said with slight annoyance in her voice “and keep still, you are going to hurt yourself more” she said more softly now looking you in your eyes as her grip around you tightened.
Olly sat on a fallen tree not to far away, he had a bad cut on his arm that was covers with a self-made band aid from his shirt. You made your way over to him with Mason still right behind you, “That looks bad, does it hurt?” you asked as you looked at him worried. Can’t have one of your best friends die right here on this hell of an Island... you thought.
“Hey, its ok ill be fine” he smiled at you even though you could tell he was in pain.
Mason observed the interaction between the two of you but before she could say anything James appeared between the trees.
“We have to leave for the pickup location NOW. The rest of the team is nowhere in sight and this is our best chance for survival.
After some arguing with the young soldier everyone agreed to the plan.
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Wherever you went Mason was walking almost in front of you and gripped your arm in protection whenever she heard a loud noise. You would be lying is you said you weren’t flattered by her overly protective behavior. Looked like she did very much still care about you…
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You heard movement from the water body to your left and suddenly saw a huuuge water bison emerge from the pond. You gasped and Mason held her arm on front of you as if to block you from the danger. But the bison didn’t look very threatening and she soon relaxed and picked up her camera to take a picture.
You glanced at her and she had a small smile on her face as she looked at the creature. She was an adventurer just like you. You blushed as you realized how mesmerized you were by her.
But then Olly started to babble excitedly about the grass and vegetation on the beats back and you soon got caught up in his rant as you were just as happy to discover this strange animal. Mason glanced over at the same time as you stared at the bison in wonder taking a light step forward, complete wonder written across your face.
She lifted her camera and snapped a quick picture for herself. Before she could talk to you, you turned around and started to discuss with Olly again, missing the way her smile dropped lightly.
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You were in the back of the group, falling behind as you were talking with Olly about all the crazy stuff you saw. Mason was still not leaving you out of her sight, walking just far enough in front of you to keep you out of danger.
Yet you still bumped into her as everyone came to a sudden stop, looking at some strange ruins building up in front of the crew.
“What is this” whispered Mason to you as you shifted yourself to stand beside her. “No clue” you answered in wonder, looking at the weird sings and writings on the stone walls. The brunette lifted her camera to her eyes, looking for a motive.
With a sudden gasp from her she dropped the device shoving you behind her again, keeping a possessive arm on your waist as people emerged from the walls and trees around you. The group formed a circle as the strangers pointed sharp spears at your faces.
The air filled with tension and danger. You stepped away trying to get a better look as Mason spoke up again, this time more forceful “Stay behind me (Y/N), please”. You noticed the unease in her voice, so you grabbed her hand as you moved back into position.
She squeezed it lightly. A strange bearded man appeared and started to explain he was a stranded soldier named something bla bla Marlow.
“Did you crash here?” Mason asked. The man nodded and began explaining again, leading the party towards what he called “the camp”.
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There was a huuuge wooden wall with big bloody spears pointing from it, behind that there were at least a hundred simple huts with more people that looked like the ones from the ruins. Marlow was still talking and giving info about the island.
You took everything in with wonder written all over your face, you desperately wanted to explore this place, feeling saver with all the people around. What new and exiting things there were around here, you thought to yourself as you fell back again. Too caught up in your wonder. You dragged at Ollys healthy arm wanting to go take samples from every plant and small animal you saw.
 But Mason noticed your jittery behavior knowing how much you forgot your safety when you were looking for something new. “I think it would be the smartest idea to stick with the group first before you wander off. Besides I’d feel much better if I had you close to me and not having to worry about you getting hurt,” you gave her a dumbfounded look, taken aback by her bold honesty. “And I mean... we haven’t seen each other in so long, maybe we finally have some time to catch up.” She tried to joke.
You gave her a smile, bumping her shoulder with yours. “I get the feeling you don’t really like me being alone or with anyone but you,” you joked back. “Would that be so bad?” she smirked a little, confident and jokey just like you remembered her being. “No” you whispered, all those old feelings bubbling to the surface yet again. Mason looked you in the eyes, a familiar feeling reflecting in those brown orbs that made you feel like home.
The moment however was ruined when Marlow yelled at the group to follow him into an old big shipwreck.
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After you left the ship and now knowing about King Kong and the islands history you couldn’t shake the feeling of invasion. It felt wrong to be there and exploiting this fascinating landscape.
The group was allowed to stay the night and was given a few huts to settle in. You were quick to pair up with Mason. All this new information was throwing you off and making your head dizzy again. Having something, or rather someone familiar might help you calm down a little.
You set your things down in the hut. It was small and there were some furs and rugs splayed on the ground, resembling a bed, in the broadest way possible. Suddenly you weren’t so sure about sharing with Mason anymore. Having to sleep so close to her after such a long time apart was setting your heart on fire.
She didn’t give you much time to object as she gently guided you out of the hut again, a hand on your lower back. “Now we can go explore,” she winked at you.
The two of you strolled around the town (?), hands grazing occasionally while walking. The brunette took pictures of the people and surroundings, laughing with the villagers and smiling behind the lense.
You couldn’t keep your eyes off her, she looked so happy and content documenting everything.
You were pulled aside by and old woman cooking some sort of soup, she gestured for you to look at her creation. You smiled a little confused, “for me?” you asked as you were given a wooden spoon from her to taste the food. You gently took it, smelling and then tasting the steamy liquid.
You nodded in content and gave the woman a sweet smile and a thumbs up. “good” you tried to communicate, rubbing your belly with a small laugh to show her you liked it.
Masons ears perked at your laugh, turning around to yet again sneak a picture of you and the scene.
She felt much better with just the two of you wandering around together. She felt weary about that Olly guy you always were so close to. Maybe he was your boyfriend she thought. But you haven’t kissed him or anything she contemplated. But then again what if you had someone back home, what if you had moved on…
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Nighttime came faster than expected and you were positioned on the rugs, you two on your backs staring straight ahead. It had been some exhausting 24 hours and your eyes were dropping slowly, as you heard Mason move to her side.
You turned your head to look at her. She had a troubled look in her eyes;
“Can I ask you something?”
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Woooow ok this took longer than expected but here it is. Feedback is appreciated as always, and next chapter will have a little more conversation and interactions between you and Mason (maybe some flashbacks to high school?) but I had to set the scene first. I hope you guys like it :3  
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& Juliet Fanfic - “Don’t Give Up On Your Faith”
Words: 4,224
AO3 Link (first in the fandom?)
NOTE: still getting used to the characters.... so yeah.
Even after the play had been written, the piece was published, and the world fell in love with Romeo and Juliet’s story, Anne Hathaway found that she could still enter the Story.
At least, that’s what she was calling it; the realm that seemed to be some sort of suspended reality, something similar to, but definitely not completely tethered, to their usual world. The Real Life, as William coined it.
In Story, the tale of Juliet and Romeo continued, far beyond what the two writers originally intended. It was confusing even to William, who found that he, too, could reprise his usual roles, as time passed in Story.
“Might be good for a sequel of sorts,” William quipped one morning, sitting next to April as they watched Juliet, May and Nurse from afar.
“Eh, I think they deserve some peace, don’t they?” Anne asks, slipping her hand into his. “Everyone does. It’s been quite the last few months for them, a small break won’t kill anyone-” she makes a face at the bad phrasing, which makes William laugh. 
“Fine, fine, no Romeo & Juliet 2, I suppose,” he quips with a smile. “I rather like it here.”
“It is quite nice, isn’t it?” Anne asks with a grin, looking over at him. “A few rules, though: we don’t stay in here for more than a day maximum, and we definitely don’t bring the girls in here.” She looks down at their hands. “We don’t know the full extent of this place, so-”
“April!”
The name is second nature to Anne now: April, the woman of Story, best friend to Juliet. When she’s in the Real World - or alone with William - she’s Anne; but here, with Juliet and company, she’s April. It’s all as compartmentalized as she could make it.
“Oh, ready to go?” April asks, jumping off the ledge to move to meet them. “What’s the plan today, everyone?”
April did always love the adventures and antics they got into in this world; she had a freedom here that, in the Real World, she wasn’t allowed. It was refreshing on multiple levels.
“Probably just going to hang out in the square,” Juliet says with a shrug. “Then I’m meeting up with Romeo for a nice dinner.”
“Oh?” April asks with a smile. “That sounds lovely… how’s that all going, anyways?”
William, who was following originally, is suddenly stopped by a few of Romeo’s friends. With a smile and a wave, he moves away, towards the other side of the square, still in eyeline of each other should they need it. Now that they weren’t fighting, they never wanted to leave each other’s sides - as much as possible, anyways.
“We’re alright,” Juliet continues. “We’re getting through some things. Not really sure what we are currently, but that’s okay for now, you know? We’re definitely friends. I just hope we can get closer.”
April smiles. “That’s a good way to go about it.”
“It’s a fresh start,” Juliet replies. “I like where it’s going.”
“And how about you, May?” April asks, smiling a bit coyly at them. “What about you?”
“Oh, uh… me and Frankie are doing well, thank you,” they reply, a soft smile on their face. “It’s been wonderful, really.”
Juliet laughs at that, pulling May closer. “You can’t stop talking about him, May! It’s adorable.”
May chuckles at that, shrugging a bit shyly. “It’s nice, you know? To have that connection with someone. It’s nice.”
April nods understandingly, smile growing wider as she looks over at… 
“Angelique?” 
“Oh, uh,” Angelique replies, chuckling. “We’ll see how it goes. Lance has been quite the charmer since we decided to… er, you know.” She chuckles. “I’m meeting with him tonight, actually, while Juliet and Romeo go on their little date of sorts.
“Oh, it must be a date night,” May quips. “I’ll be with Frankie. We’ve got a faire to go see.”
April tilts her head. “Oh, where is it? I might take-”
April stops, though, and stares, straightening up a bit.
It’s a chill down her spine, a stoppage of breath, a terrifying reaction to something unseen. 
The group stops to look at her. “April? You alright?” Juliet asks, frowning.
April doesn’t react for a moment before, suddenly, she looks down, a bit confused.
She’s not sure what just happened, but she’s sure of what she needs to do.
“I… need to go,” she says, looking around; sure enough, William is rushing to her side. “Emergency.”
“Can we help-” Juliet starts, but Anne’s already rushing off, having taken William by the hand.
“I’ll be back in a bit!” Anne replies. “Don’t wait up!”
William follows quickly. “You felt it too, right?”
“Yeah,” Anne nods. “Something’s off.”
The duo end up in an alleyway, where they close there eyes, take a deep breath, focus…
… and William opens his eyes to find himself in the Real World. He’s thankful that little trick hasn’t failed them.
The first thing he does is check on the girls; they’re safe, still not back from their trip. With that anxiety lessened, he continues the search for whatever has gone wrong. 
Will looks around anxiously; something’s off, he knows it, but he can’t seem to find anything at the moment-
-which, with a terrifying realization, he knows is part of the problem.
“Anne?” he asks, rushing through the home. “Anne, where are you-”
He stops, however, when he enters the next room, eyes wide.
“Christopher Marlowe?”
Sure enough, the man was standing there, Anne being forced to stand in front of him, a knife to her back. 
“Hello, William,” Chrisopher says. “It’s nice to see you again.”
William shakes the shock away.
“Where are the girls?” Anne asks; it’s the biggest concern to her right now, not even her own safety. 
William expected nothing less; it’s what he would worry about as well.
“Safe, not here, still on that trip,” Will explains. When Anne visibly relaxes, William turns his attention back to the current situation. “I thought you died, right about the time you were outed as not the writer of all my plays.”
“Greatly exaggerated,” Christopher explains. “But don’t worry, I’ll soon reveal myself to the masses… as the new William Shakespeare.”
William blinks.
Anne blinks.
They both reply:
“What?”
Christopher sighs.
“Both of you are rather cute with the whole do-the-same-thing-at-the-same-time thing,” Christopher grumbles, “but now’s really not the time for it.”
He pulls Anne closer.
“I’m done with being in your shadow, William,” Christopher says, taking out something. “And I think this finally my chance to take what’s mine: your works, your legacy… your lady here.”
“Since when are you even remotely interested in Anne?” William asks, giving him a confused look. William was getting more and more confused by the moment.
Christopher takes a moment before he shrugs and nods.
“Okay, fair play, I’m not really after her, but… the Story, that’s what you’ve been calling it, haven’t you?”
Anne tries to look back. “How do you know about that-”
“That’s a conversation for another time,” Christopher says. He starts to move and Anne’s scared he’ll move towards her husband.
“William, back away,” Anne says, voice as steady as it could be given the moment. She tenses when she feels something against her back - something that’s getting hotter by the second. “Get help. Don’t worry about me.”
“And leave you here with him? Not a chance,” William growls out, glaring daggers at his opponent.
Christopher smiles. “One more chance, Will. Give me the play, or I’ll take her from you.” 
“Christopher Marlowe, get the hell away from her-” William starts, but then Marlowe presses the thing further into Anne’s back, and the woman gasps, eyes wide.
There’s some sort of… darkness, of shadow, that floats through the air, coming from Anne’s back and into the woman’s heart. Marlowe backs up, away from Anne, but the woman is still floating in the air, darkness surrounding her.
“Anne!” Will tries to yell, but he’s suddenly knocked down by an unknown, invisible force.
When he sits back up, he looks with wide eyes.
Standing before him is his wife, but her eyes… they’re as black as night. They look straight through him.
Christopher looks pleased.
“Now then,” he says happily, gently carding a hand through Anne’s hair. “I think another rewrite is in order, wouldn’t you agree, love?”
He offers her a dagger… which she takes.
“Anne, please-” William starts, but then the ground shakes and a sigil appears on the ground. His eyes go wide.
“We’re not killing you, William, don’t worry,” he says. “Just everything you’ve held dear will be destroyed over the next 24 hours. Isn’t that right, Anne?”
Anne says nothing as she’s suddenly engulfed in the shadow… and they’re gone. They’re both gone.
William can only stare.
Back within the Story, Juliet was a bit panicked.
“I know April does this sometimes,” Juliet said with a frown, “but never for this long. Does anyone know where she’s gone off to?”
“Not that I know of,” Nurse replies. “She’s usually here by now-”
“There you two are.”
The duo turns to find April there. Juliet almost smiles in relief, but…
“Are you alright, April?” Juliet asks, moving over to the woman with urgency. 
April looks over and, for a moment, Juliet feels a coldness. It’s gone as soon as it came, though, and April gives her a smile.
“Of course, Juliet, why wouldn’t I be?” she asks, the normal tone and warm smile back in play.
Juliet shrugs. “You were gone for half a day without telling anyone where you were.”
April shrugs. “Sorry. Shall we get going?”
Juliet narrows her eyes as April walks past.
A few hours later, it’s clear to Juliet that something’s wrong.
It’s April, she’s sure of it, but it’s also… just… not. 
When the two of them were alone for a moment, Juliet takes the opportunity to talk to her privately.
“You’ve been acting strange all day, April,” Juliet says gently, taking the girl’s hand. “Are you sure there’s nothing the matter?”
April, for the record, isn’t really hearing Juliet right now; all she can focus on is the voice in her head, repeating the same thing over and over:
Kill her.
Kill her.
Kill her.
Kill-
As it continues, April can’t help but remember a time, not so long ago, where she and Juliet fought back against demands like this. April had helped Juliet make her own choices, her own decisions… the same things that aren’t being allowed for April - for Anne - right now.
It helps give her strength and, for a moment, April can see the light in the darkness.
“Shut up!”
Juliet starts in surprise, stopping. “I’m sorry-?”
“No, not…” April sighs; she’s surprised that came out of her mouth. She winces, a hand to her head.
“Are you alright-” Juliet tries, a hand reaching out to try to help steady her friend, but April pulls away rather harshly.
“I’m fine, don’t touch me,” April growls out. “I need a moment.”
April moves past without much fanfare. 
Juliet frowns, watching her friend as she moves into a dark, shadowy back alley.
In said alley, April walks fairly unsteadily, eventually toppling towards the wall. With a deep, shaking breath, she steadies herself.
“This… th-this isn’t right,” April says quietly, to herself. “All of this, it’s not-!”
“But it is, April~”
She can hear him, she can feel him… but she can’t see him.
“What did you do to me?” Anne demands, anger rising the longer this continues. She looks up. “Show yourself, Marlowe!”
“Where’s the fun in that?” he asks, though clearly not anywhere near Anne. She looks around wildly, angrily… but nothing. “No, no, you still have a job to do, Annie.”
A dagger suddenly appears in April’s hands.
“No,” Anne says. “I refuse. I absolutely refuse-”
“You can and you will,” Marlowe cuts in. “You won’t have a choice. This isn’t your narrative anymore, Hathaway. This is mine. It will all be mine.”
“I have a choice,” Anne growls out; to herself or to Marlowe, she’s not sure, but she clings onto the reminder like a lifeline. “I have a fucking choice-”
“Oh, sweetheart,” Marlowe starts, just as the darkness rises once again. Anne feels like she’s drowning in it, fading off into obscurity because of it, completely unable to overcome it.
“You will never have a choice again.”
Anne shakes, dagger laying in her hands… and then slowly but surely, she grabs it and holds onto it tightly.
The darkness is eternal, swirled around her, and she relaxes into it.
“I will,” she replies, her voice devoid of emotion. “I will.”
She’s resigned to it, suddenly; she knows there’s no other way. She knows what she must do - what she has no choice but to do.
The darkness has taken hold again.
“Good,” Marlowe replies. “Now, it must be done before midnight,” he says. “Which is in about… four hours.”
The darkness swirls around Anne more and she closes her eyes, taking a deep breath. Succumbing to it. 
“I will, before midnight,” she promises.
The darkness fades.
Anne puts the dagger on her belt, hiding it from view, before she moves back towards the others.
Juliet looks back as soon as April is seen.
“Are you sure you’re alright?” Juliet tries again, but April gives her a smile.
“Never better, I assure you,” April replies with a grin. “Come on, Juliet, we have much to do before tonight.”
Juliet raises an eyebrow but follows. “What’s tonight?”
April just grins. 
“You’ll see.”
Back in the Real World, William has been trying over and over to get back into the Story… but for some reason, he just can’t. No matter how hard he focuses, how hard he writes… there’s nothing. He’s blocked, it seems, from his own creation.
“Come on, Anne,” he says, a frustrated sigh following. “You need to let me in-”
“She’s not coming, William.”
William glares at the man in front of him: Marlowe, once again, holding a book. He recognizes it immediately, but he doesn’t care.
“Give her back to me,” William demands. “Now.”
“So sorry, can’t do it,” Marlowe replies. “You can read along, though, if you’d like.”
When William gives him a questioning look, Marlowe throws the book at him. William catches it, opens it up… and his eyes go wide and he drops the book immediately.
“Witchcraft!” he exclaims. “That must be witchcraft.”
“It’s something far worse, I assure you,” Marlowe replies. “It won’t hurt you, though. And you can follow along with what’s happening in that realm of hers… and watch when she completely destroys it.”
William glares… but takes the book anyways. When he looks up, Marlowe is gone.
All he thinks he can do is just… read along, as the words appear on the page. 
He joins in just as the clock is about to strike 11:30 at night.
“What’s happening in half an hour again?” Juliet asks; at this point, she and April are alone, walking the streets of Paris, arms linked. “It’s dangerous to be out here alone like this, you know… we should have waited for Romeo, he said he was only going to be another minute or so.”
“I assure you, Juliet,” April replies, “he won’t be needed.”
Juliet stops then.
“Alright, come off it, then, what’s going on?”
April looks back, questioning. “What do you mean?”
“April wouldn’t just blow him off like that,” Juliet replies. “Something’s wrong here. Can’t you feel it?” Juliet shivers a bit. “It’s like a coldness… it’s you, but it’s the air around you, too. Something’s off, and I think it starts with you.”
April tilts her head in thought before she shrugs. The dagger appears in her hands.
Juliet instantly backs up a few steps.
“April?” Juliet tries, but then the girl strikes, trying to slash at the woman. “April!”
Back in the Real World, William squeezes his eyes shut, trying to focus; why can’t he get in?
Juliet backs up again, eyes wide. “What’s gotten into you? Snap out of this!”
April moves forward once more, once again being dodged. “April!”
“Will you just be a good girl for us and die already?” Anne growls out, going for the stab once again.
“Us?” Juliet asks, suddenly moving forward. Somehow, against all odds, she’s managed to grab the arm with the knife without injuring anyone. “Who’s us?”
They struggle. William tries harder, as hard as he can.
Come on, William, he thinks to himself, your wife’s in danger and you can’t even save her? Do something!
Juliet looks around for a moment before she pushes April away, the knife clamoring to the ground. April stumbles, a hand on the wall as she glares.
“Whatever this is… this isn’t you, April, I can tell that much,” Juliet tries.
April sneers. “Be a good little Capulet and stay still, alright?”
Juliet stands firm. “Absolutely not.”
“Then I’ll make you.”
“We’ll see about that.”
They struggle, once again, and April tries to grab the knife, but Juliet successfully kicks it back towards the opening of the alley.
They’re in a standoff once again.
“So, what, whatever this is… you’re just going to let it control you, April?”
“I’m doing what I must,” April replies. “You wouldn’t understand, you foolish girl.”
“You clearly didn’t do your history, because I do understand,” Juliet replies. “I’m the one that would understand more than anyone, April. You know that.”
April winces at the comment, and Juliet takes it as encouragement.
“I thought we learned from before that we all need to be able to make our choices, our own decisions.” Juliet moves towards April now. “Whatever is stealing that from you… you need to take it back. Please, April, we’re counting on you.”
Juliet notices it immediately, but something starts to happen: April is shaking, eyes wide for a moment in fear, lips trying to form sentences that aren’t coming out. April shakes her head, squeezes her eyes shut, tries to talk… but she just can’t.
April collects herself too quickly and suddenly pushes Juliet down. With her towering over Juliet, April smirks… but is stopped by Juliet herself.
“Wait!” 
April stops, raising an eyebrow. “You’ve got two minutes before you die, girl,” she says, a hand extended to telepathically take the dagger back. “Make these last words quick.”
Juliet watches the girl carefully - Romeo should know that something’s up, he should be headed this way soon. April clearly wants something to happen before the stroke of midnight, so… she needs to stall. Just for that long.
Okay, Juliet thinks. She can do this. “Remember when things with Romeo were a bit messy?” Juliet asks. “Remember when I wasn’t able to have a choice in my own life? Remember when you helped me take back my agency, my story?” 
April narrows her eyes, but Juliet continues.
“April, what happened to me then, it’s happening to you now. I don’t understand all of it, but I know you don’t want to do this. You’d never want to hurt me, or anyone. Something is making you. But April… you’re not the type of girl to take this and just go along with it. This isn’t you, this isn’t your story, you have a choice here and I know - I know - that you can beat it.”
April is starting to shake, eyes suddenly less sure and harsh and dark. Juliet takes it as encouragement.
“Whatever’s going on, I promise you, it’s something you can break,” Juliet tried. “It’s something you’re stronger than - something you’ve been stronger than.”
April’s dagger rises into the air, but April’s face clearly shows that she’s unsure of the situation.
“April. Please. Remember yourself, your mission, your entire story. You can beat this. I know you can.”
April looks conflicted - more than she’s ever been, as far as Juliet’s concerned - and when the dagger slowly starts to lower back to April’s side, Juliet has a hopeful look on her face.
April seems to look at her then - really look at her - and there’s a spark of recognition.
“Juliet?”
“That’s me, exactly,” Juliet replies with a nod. “There you go, April, come on, just a bit more. Keep rising above it, you’re almost there-”
But then, suddenly, the darkness surges.
The dagger disappears suddenly and April collapses to her knees, holding her head in her hands, scraming as the whirlwind of darkness continues to surround her and Juliet. Juliet grabs onto her, holding the girl tightly, but eventually the darkness is just too much, even for the Capulet.
The last thing Juliet hears is Romeo calling her name as she collapses to the ground, April having disappeared in the dark.
William feels something break in the back of his mind - a barrier of sorts - before his eyes open to the sight of his wife, on the floor, struggling for breath.
“Anne!” he yells, quickly moving over to her. “Hey, hey, you’re okay, you’re out, it’s alright-”
“For her, yes. For you… hm.”
Anne suddenly straightens up, eyes wide for a moment as tears start to form. She suddenly has the knife in her hands again. 
William glares at the man behind her. “I thought you said you weren’t going to kill me.”
“Change of plans,” Christopher replies with a shrug. “Go on then, Anne. You know what you have to do.”
Anne looks down at the dagger, then over at her husband, who is standing way too close for comfort, and Anne just…
…. Stops.
She’s conflicted - she still is - but she can’t do this. She remembers what Juliet said - remembers how right the girl was, how the choice is hers and hers alone, and she’ll be damned before she lets someone else take that choice.
She’s Anne fucking Hathaway, thank you, and she will not be denied her choice.
“You had…” Anne says, standing up. She stumbles, but William is there to help. “You had a better chance of me killing Juliet before I killed him.”
William smirks at that, pulling her in for a moment before she moves away, looking back at the guy that had cursed her in the first place.
The clock strikes midnight then, much to Christopher’s alarment. 
“How did you do it?” He demands as, suddenly the room gets impossibly darker. “The magick, it was ancient, no one’s defeated it before.”
Anne smirks, the dagger falling from her hands. 
The dagger turns into smoke and, with the rest of the darkness in the room, swirls around Christopher instead. Anne feels it leaving her as well - the darkness, the compulsion - and she falls to her knees as Christopher yells in pain.
When she looks back up, he’s gone.
“Finally.”
She feels someone close pull her in, checking her over. She smiles softly at him.
“You need to rest,” he says quietly. “Whatever that was, it wasn’t good.”
Anne shakes her head, though, leaning into him for a moment before standing. “We need to go into Story. Juliet… we need to get to her.”
William knows better than to argue at the moment.
Sure enough, when they arrive in Story, Juliet is still down for the count.
Romeo quickly ushers them over. “Please! I don’t know what’s happened, I just found her like this and… and some shadows-”
“I know,” Anne replies, instantly at the girl’s side. She holds Juliet closely now, worried eyes scanning her over. “Go get Nurse, please.”
Romeo nods, rushing off. William kneels next to his wife and Juliet, staying close but staying quiet.
“Come on, Juliet, breathe,” Anne says, trying to wake the girl up. She frowns. “Can you see that, William?”
“See what?” he asks, looking down.
“The Darkness… it’s there.” Anne says. Then, with an understanding nod, she gently puts a hand on the girl’s shoulder and focuses.
Suddenly, without warning, Juliet gasps awake.
“I’m honestly surprised that worked,” Anne mumbles, suddenly out of energy.
Juliet scrambles to sit up, looking around.
“April?” she asks, a bit suspicious, but the soft, warm smile from the woman in question allows Juliet to relax. “Is that actually you this time?”
April nods. “It’s… a long story. I think. I don’t quite remember, but… you saved me, Juliet. Thank you-”
That’s all she can say, however, as Juliet quickly pulls the girl into a tight embrace.
“Don’t you EVER do that to me again,” Juliet mumbles against April’s shoulder.
April smiles. “I’m not planning on it, love. Promise.”
Juliet pulls back with a watery smile.
In the days that follow, Juliet is put on bedrest while April is sent away for rest as well. When she arrives back in Story, Juliet is happy to see her.
“Can you explain what happened, though?” Juliet asks. “That guy you’re always with, William… he’s something special, isn’t he?”
“Yeah, he’s something, alright,” April quips with a smirk. 
“No, I mean… he’s special. Like you.”
April looks over at Juliet for a moment; she knew Juliet would figure it out eventually, but… eh, where’s the fun in just telling her?
“Not sure what you mean,” April replies with a grin. “I’m just your best friend, that’s all I need to be.”
Juliet narrows her eyes, but a soft smile rises on her face. “Alright then, April, keep your secrets.” She nudges the girl with a grin.
“It’s your choice, after all.”
16 notes · View notes
alittlestarling · 4 years
Text
Tinker, Tailor, Herald, Spy
aka me deciding to leap feet-first into what was a casual comment that has now spawned into a full-fledged AU. @rhetoricalrogue wrote a lovely piece (which is here) and I fell directly into a response because why not write another AU, amirite?
-----
Rosalind Marlowe still didn’t understand how or why she had survived any of this. There was some cruel, cosmic joke in the works and she was the punchline. A blood mage, rebel leader, suddenly charged with saving the world and marked by a strange magic that she didn’t even understand. There were new expectations and obligations suddenly steering her into uncharted territory as a leader of sorts, all of which she barely understood.
Give her a handful of mages and a desire for freedom and she could make something happen; hand her over to the Chantry and other officials who followed the rule of law (as best one could as a heretical agency) and she felt suddenly out of her depth.
“Herald?” Cassandra broke through Roz’s inner monologue, bringing her back to the present. The map of Thedas lay before her, stretched out in a vast expanse of sepia tones and black ink. She could point out where she’d come from, but there were so many places she hadn’t gone; the world was so much larger than the small corner of the Free Marches she had known.
“Sorry,” she mumbled, “just got lost for a moment.”
“Perhaps we should take a break for lunch.” Kindness still felt like a blunt tool when used with Cassandra’s tone; polite, firm and to the point. Roz sighed, a hand flying to her stomach as it gave a distinct gurgle in the space of their makeshift war room.
“It couldn’t hurt.” It would give her a break from trying to memorize all the places she’d never been and coming up with ideas on how to bring the opposite sides of this war together to solve the greater problem before them. The breach would swallow everything around them, regardless of what their ideals were or what they believed in. 
Despite it all, it was far more complicated than it seemed and Roz found herself regularly fighting headaches against all the noise that surrounded them. Drastic measures felt almost necessary, but even then, Roz knew there was more to all of this than strong-arming her way through the mess and chaos. 
Her footsteps echoed against the flagstones of the Chantry, pausing only to pull a cloak around her shoulders. The cold mountain air hit her face as soon as she opened the doors, her breath puffing out in a small cloud before her. She’d never seen so much snow in her life - from the tower, she’d seen it, but being so close, listening to the crunch of ice beneath her boots and feeling small snowflakes hitting her face was beyond anything she could have imagined. Freedom, even if she was tethered here by the mark, was well worth holding onto. 
She couldn’t be the only one of her fellow mages to enjoy this feeling. She couldn’t be the only one allowed this moment.
Someday, she thought, we’ll be free from all of this, someday.
Even with the mark, there was a certain amount of anonymity that came with being, well, herself. Stories had begun to spread about her role in all of this, but few expected the Inquisitor to be a plush, short mage with no real-world experience about her. Roz had spent so much time blending in that the idea of somehow standing out made her skin crawl and her insides twist uncomfortably. To be seen in the circle would either mean good things were happening or they would be coming for blood.
Her cloak covered her completely but, out of habit, Roz pulled at the edges of her sleeves, keeping every part of herself as covered as possible. The scars were fresh enough - blood magic never healed properly, nor did it go quickly - that she held tight to the paranoia of anyone finding out what she was or what she’d done.
Herald or not, they wouldn’t suffer a maleficar.
Haven was crowded as more people came from all across the region to gather where everything was happening. There were too many new faces for Roz to recognize them all, but they all seemed to recognize her as she and Cassandra strode out of the Chantry. It didn’t help that her honor guard, as it were, had once been the Right Hand of the Divine not so long ago. Cassandra exuded power without trying and, even as Roz tried to emulate her stance and quick stride, there was no denying that she was always a step or three behind at any given moment. 
There was no way to truly prepare for something like this. No matter who had fallen back through the breach, how could anyone prepare to help lead and act as the symbol of a movement like this? Nothing at the Circle had trained her for anything remotely like this and the uncertainty still overwhelmed her in these early days. She knew they had a long way to go towards getting anything done, especially since Orlais wanted nothing to do with them and both sides of the Mage-Templar conflict were refusing to even speak with them.
Lost in thought, Roz nearly ran directly into Cassandra as they moved down the steps, Varric’s voice bringing both women to a halt. “Seeker, you never told me we had a newbie with us.” Shifting, Roz peered over to the small spot Varric had claimed beside the fire, drawing a small breath of surprise at the sight of her companion from the other night.
Dark blue eyes gazed right back at her and she was nearly taken aback by the intensity that was set upon her. It had been darker in the tavern the other night and, while she knew he’d been handsome then, there was something to seeing him all windswept in the afternoon light.
Oh.
“I resent that comment, Varric,” Leaning languidly against the wall, there wasn’t any real malice in his voice as the man shot a bemused little smirk across the fire to Roz, pausing only to brush a section of dark hair away from his face. “I’m far from new to this sort of operation.”
Varric gave a barking laugh that Roz was slowly growing accustomed to. “Ah, so you run with heretical religious organizations all the time? Good, looks like you’re in the right place.” He shot Roz and Cassandra a bold wink. “It always takes so long to bring everyone else up to speed.”
“Let us not get ahead of ourselves.” Cassandra gave a huffing reply, inserting herself quite forcibly in the middle of what Roz assumed would be a much longer, bantering conversation otherwise. “Rosalind hasn’t even met him yet.”
“Allow me to introduce myself.” He pushed off the wall, striding away from the fire. Giving a sweeping bow, his hand grasped hers, bringing the back of her hand to his lips with a chaste, swift kiss that surprised Roz. “Ser Rolfe Trevelyan, Order of the Sacred Flame, at your service.”
“I’ve never heard of the Order of the Sacred Flame before,” Roz admitted, trying hard to focus herself away from the charming smile on Rolfe’s face or the warmth that lingered from a very polite kiss. 
“Well, my services include-” Rolfe began, apparently ready to dive into an entire monologue. Cassandra, however, stepped in before he could begin rattling everything he found important off for them.
“He’s a spy, Herald.” Matter-of-fact and to the point, Cassandra nodded as Roz glanced to her side and then back to Rolfe. For his part, there was nop denial or coming up with a story to say otherwise.
“That’s only one part of what I do, my lady.”
Roz snorted. “Mistress Marlowe will do if you’re trying to give me a title. I’m not a lady, Ser Trevelyan.” That much had always been abundantly clear, especially among the nobility that had begun to flock. They were all rather fussy about their titles, in any case. “Rosalind would do fine, too, or Roz.”
“Roz.” There was a pleasant shiver that ran down her spine as he said her name, working hard to fight the flush rising in her cheeks. Honestly, there was no need to dissolve into a blushing maiden simply because a handsome man had smiled at her. Thank the Maker for Varric, who was quick to interrupt any blossoming moment between them.
“You sure you need another spy, Rosebud?”
“Be nice, Varric, or I won’t bring you anywhere warm.” Roz teased, lips curling upward into a playful smile. 
“I knew you had it in you to blackmail,” Varric let out a hearty laugh, shaking his head slightly. “Welcome to the shitshow, we’re glad to have you, Trevelyan.”
“That’s the spirit. Besides,” Roz gave a little smile, trying to quell the fluttering in her chest when she glanced over to Rolfe again, “I could always use more professional spies among my ranks.” 
“I live to serve,” Rolfe gave another elaborate bow; Cassandra was quick to roll her eyes and Roz simply gave a little laugh.
“No need to be formal,” Roz paused, her stomach giving an audible grumble that had a real blush racing up her neck and into her cheeks. “Perhaps we’ll see you later?” It would be better to escape now, avoiding any other embarrassing noises escaping from her. Nods were exchanged as Roz and Cassandra moved away from the fire.
“He’s kind of a pretty boy, don’t you think?” They hadn’t moved far enough from the fire, but Cassandra was already voicing what Roz had been thinking. “We’ll see what he is like in the field, I suppose.”
“I heard that Seeker,” Rolfe called out, giving a flash of a charming smile that Roz caught when she glanced over her shoulder. There was a little dimple that creased the side of his mouth that she couldn’t help but find endearing. “I am a pretty boy, thank you for noticing.” Cassandra’s distinct sigh was hard to miss, but Roz laughed instead. 
“Careful, Ser Trevelyan, or you’ll end up on the end of a very sharp sword. I should know, I’ve been there.” Lifting a hand, she turned away again, unable to keep the little smile from her lips. Only when they’d moved ahead a bit did Roz swiftly drop her own voice. “He’s very pretty, I agree.” 
Easier to simply voice it aloud than let it eat her alive, she thought. It was all harmless in the end, especially when she already knew that men like that wouldn’t give her the time of day under any other circumstances. There was no harm in smiling and going along with the jokes and smiles, even if she quietly wished it wasn’t just a daydream.
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