#while my STUPID brain says ‘if it exists it’s TRASH’

[brandnewhuman]

It still hurts

☆starring☆

König aka dominik from now on bc me and @bloodlst said so

Tw: people being fucking trash, fatshaming(?) Like idk but like a very mean comment about weight, depictions of anxiety, panic attacks and overall big sad könig.

Summary: könig may be bullied a lot even now as an adult but at least he has you

A/n: this is so self indulgent and I took the liberty to project my own big fat sadness onto him CAUSE I AM TOO VERY SENSITIVE ABOUT MY APPEARANCE. Not as good as I wanted it to be but at least I've tried. Take the German bits with a grain of salt cause I used the Google translator IM SORRY.

Es ist so entmutigend: it's so discouraging

mein Schatz: my darling

König could see the subtle worried glances you would give him but he couldn't find it in himself to care about it, he just wanted to run away as far as possible and let it all out. He hated to feel like this, he hated even more how people always managed to make him feel so weak and stupid all the time even now that he was an adult. He knew they were just joking, he knew that but it didn't help his uneasy mind to find some of the remarks cruel and hurtful. He always felt stupid for getting offended over such things, so he would crack a self-deprecating joke now and then hoping they would just drop it if they saw he was laughing about it too, he always tried to make himself go as unnoticed and small as possible cause maybe if he didn't exists too much too loudly people won't bother him too much.

But they always end up doing it. If it wasn't about his height it was about what or how much he eaten, if it wasn't about him fumbling too much while speaking it was his accent, if it wasn't him getting scolded for being clumsy it was reminding him about how his stupid anxiety and his stupid appearance didn't allowed him to become what he wanted. There was always something to say or joke about him, and he saw them doing it to other people like ghost or soap. But he wasn't them, he wasn't the ever so stoic and cold Simon who didn't care anymore about anything or the easygoing and always ready to talk back John who didn't let anyone walk over him. He was just..him, at best he was könig the surprisingly efficient and dutiful soldier who always completed the mission no matter what, at worst he was just Dominik, feeling like the chubby kid again hiding in the bathroom at lunch time because they won't stop tormenting him.

While he just let everyone at the table using him as the bottom of the joke you were very much pissed with how your teammates were acting. You have clapped back at them multiple times before they started to use it to reinforce the already infinite jokes about könig, which just led you to silently death glaring everything while biting your tongue back from snapping at their stupid remarks. They couldn't possibly know how much it affected könig comments about his appearance, or if they knew they just didn't care cause as soon as the next sentence came out of their mouth you felt your heart sink to your stomach.

"König you gotta tell your grandma back at home to stop with the sweets, the older you get the harder it is to stay in shape mate" their laugh made you feel sick as they playfully slapped könig shoulder.

He could feel himself pulling on a mask of easiness and replying to a funny and careless reply but his mind was already out of the conversation. His mind was already sending waves of debilitating and painful hurt that spread all over his body making him suddenly too aware of every part of him and, most importantly, everything that was wrong with him. His already weak self-esteem was being drowned by the countless intrusive thoughts and harsh judgments of his own brain. From outside all you could see was him stiff as always, his hands now resting on his lap torturing themselves and his absent gaze looking forward.

At some point he excused himself to get some fresh air and he felt your steps behind him but once again couldn't really think about it now that his mind was going so fast yet so slow. It wasn't hard for you to find him anyways, you just had to follow the sound of his panicked deep breaths coming from not too far from the building.

And there he was indeed, pacing around with his hands tugging at his soft hair. He wasn't crying and anyone who didn't know him wouldn't think he's as upset as he really feels, but you do know him and that's why you can't find the right words. "Sweetheart are you okay? Do you…do you want to talk about it?" You cautiously took a few steps towards him, now your own hands fidgeting too, while looking at him closing his eyes, his face contorted in distress while trying to keep back the tears "I just…I'm fine. I just need a moment, can you- i…I need to be alone please" his accent slipped even more as he tried to keep his voice as steady as possible, failing miserably and rubbing his eyes with frustration. He was quite literally shaking now and the way his jaw clenched looked so painful you had to actually look away "I know you want to be alone but i-" you sighed defeated and just closed the distance, stopping in front of him to prevent him from pacing around any longer and softly taking the hands away from his face. "I just want to help.." your tone was as gentle as possible, mentally thanking the universe for allowing you to say it without your voice trembling from unshed tears.

His hands were still close to his face, balled into fists with his knuckles turning white and his face scrunching in an attempt to keep himself from actually breaking down. His bottom lip quivered ever so slightly as he tried to say something that never actually left his mouth before a single tear fell from down his cheek. He shook his head no as trying to get all those thoughts to go away, to make the tears go away and not feel weak like this. "Hey…hey hey hey it's okay, you can let it out. You hear me? You can let it out Dominik.." hearing you say his name with all that love, to say he was allowed to feel like this broke something inside him. He let go of that painful sob he was holding back with such difficulty and you almost sigh with relief seeing that he was ready to let it go.

He just let his hands fall down to his size while yours find their place on his cheeks, getting caught in the flow of tears spilling out of his big, sad glossy eyes. It wasn't the first time you saw him like this, he always bounced out of it pretty quickly but that didn't stop your heart from shattering at the sight of him looking so defeated and broken. You would never be able to understand how he always manages to get over such a state so quickly.

His forehead gently pressed against yours as he cried a river, your hands slowly guiding him into a hug while you whispered sweet nothings. "I-I'm sorry… I know it's really stupid to get…to get so upset, they were just joking but it's…Es ist so entmutigend" he sobbed in the crook of your neck, his voice raspy from crying as he gave up on trying to speak another word in English. His hands were slowly placed on your back, you could feel his long fingers pushing on your shoulder blades to bring you closer to him. You just kept rubbing his back trying to think about what you could possibly say to make him feel better "it's not stupid love, they were being rude. It's normal to be upset, you know that right? You know there's nothing wrong with you, right?" You moved back a little to look him in the eyes. The sentence, maybe even just your voice being so kind after hours of listening to harsh and offensive sounds made his troubled mind melt slowly. Somehow you always managed to get more in his head than any hurtful joke and he would never understand how you could do that, he just felt the need to believe everything you say. You held so much power over him and you never took advantage of it, maybe that's why it wasn't hard to just take everything you say as the truth.

It took him all the strength in the world to not keep avoiding your gaze and when he finally locked his eyes on you his breath hitched, his own gaze softening as he felt his heart speeding up not from pain but because of you. He never felt quite pretty in any sense, his view of himself was one of resignation to not being able to change what he saw. But every time you looked at him he could swear he felt the prettiest he has ever felt in his whole life, which made him wonder if you did it on purpose, if there was an intention full of love behind that adoring gaze. "I wish you could see yourself like i see you…if you could you would never have to worry about those jokes'' you softly whispered as you brushed back a strand of his soft hair, a sad smile grazing your face as he just looked at you "it will pass mein schatz…it hurts only in the moment" his voice was hoarse but still held that special kindness only reserved for you, and in a moment he had that shy smile again on his lips although a little tainted by the redness in his eyes and the traces of tears on his cheeks. His big hands slowly went up to hold your face, engulfing your cheeks with ease "you know it will always pass…I just need to let it out" he sighed and once again his forehead found its home on yours "I could never believe those things if you're looking at me the way you do my love…" you couldn't help but smile at how cheesy but inherently sweet he could be, always reassuring you even when you weren't the one who needed it. You stole a quick kiss before your courage could falter, just to see that pinkish blush coloured his nose, cheeks and ears as his eyes widened from surprise. You breathed out a laugh at how he still managed to get so flustered with these things as if it was always the first time, and it somewhat always felt like it. It always felt like every time you looked at him you both were simultaneously falling in love all over again, even now as you kissed his palm and moved to hug him again. He just couldn't but smirk to himself and pulled you as close as possible, feeling so much better and making you both slightly swing back and forth while already planning a well deserved nap with you once back inside the base.

#könig #könig cod #könig cod mw2 #könig x reader #codmw2 #cod #cod mw2 #call of duty mw2 #call of duty modern warfare 2 #call of duty

[stylexrepp]

Stolitz // The Next Full Moon -

(I did not proof read so if you see any grammatical errors… you didn’t)

*After Stolas had given Blitzø the Asmodean Crystal, Blitzø had shouted at stolas for being a selfish entitled rich prick, this was his way of still trying to hide his feelings and make Stolas hate him before he could say something he would regret in a time like this. While the berating tookplace, Stolas just stood there and took the backlash. He would rather Blitzø be happy and hate Stolas than have him unhappy.*

———

Stolas sat in his bath filled with his tears and lukewarm water. After their arrangement had ended Stolas had done nothing more than cry, work, and sleep, leaving no time for himself. Only staying awake to wrap his head in paperwork and try his best to keep up with Octavia, making sure she is happy.

*CRASH*

Stolas jumped up from the tub and ran to see what happened, ignoring the fact he is fully exposed and his robe was laid perfectly where he left it out for after his bath.

As he dashed into his bedroom he sees Blitzø tripping into his quarters.

“You STupID AsS bIrD BrAIn!! You tHiNk yOU Can JUst diTcH me lIKe tRAsh!!!” Blitzø slurred

Stolas stood in disbelief, “Blitzø what on earth could you possibly be talking about! You are way to tired to be talking about this right now, please come lay down darling.” As he approached Blitzø he could hear his heart rate increase.

“IM NOT DOING SHIT FOR YOU!!” Blitzø screeched

“Blitzø ple—“

“YOU SHUT YOUR MANGEY BEAK FOR THREE FUCKING SECONDS, AND LISTEN HERE. I AM HERE TO GET MY MONTHLY FUCK AND PISS OFF LIKE USUAL. SO DON’T TRY AND PUSH ME OUT LIKE LAST TIME OKAY!!”

“Push you out! Blitzø I gave you the choice and you walked away, you think I’d ever just use you for pleasure?” Stolas’s bottom eyes began to tear up

“Oh PLEASE you never wanted me for anything more than my dick! Let’s just get this dicking over with, come on!!!” Blitzø started shuffling towards him and placed his hands on Stolas’s hips. Stolas flinched away from the touch. “Fuck ‘s that all about huh?”

“Blitzø do you not remember a month ago when I poured my heart out to you! I gave you my all and I was completely and utterly vulnerable with all my feelings for you. Did you just forget all of that, all that I said when I laid my heart out for you on a silver platter!!” Stolas was basically sobbing at this point. He began to walk back into his bathroom hoping Blitzø would not follow him but Stolas was wrong. Blitzø followed along directly behind him staring as his feathered ass. “Stols come on, I know you want this ‘thick red dick’ so stop it with your innocent prude act. Just get your bird cunt over here!!” Stolas refused to listen and closed the door on him.

“STOLAS YOU CAN TRY TO LOCK ME OUT BUT WE BOTH KNOW ILL FIND A WAY IN” Blitzø shouted from outside the door.

“Blitzø if you are just here to continue our outlandish arrangement I-I won’t have it! Just leave if that’s all you are here for my dear.” Stolas begged at the foot of the door. As his tears fell he started to wheeze as he waited to hear Blitzø’s footsteps walk away.

Blitzø didn’t even think twice before yelling back, “There you go again being a spoiled fucking brat thinking you can tell me what the hell to do. Well, guess what bitch? I'm done being your ‘impish plaything’. From now on, I'm going to treat you like the worthless, empty piece of shit prince that you truly are. You don't deserve my time, or my energy, You are nothing but a sex toy for me to use and discard, just like you did to me. So enjoy your lonely ass existence, because I’m done letting you decide what the fuck I do with my dick!”

Stolas didn’t even respond. He sat there in a pool of his own tears soaking up every word blitzø said. Stolas had always blamed himself for everything no matter what happened. But hearing someone that he truly loved tell him he was to blame put everything into perspective for him.

Stolas walked over to his vanity and looked himself in the eye and all he could see was a monster. All of a sudden full of rage Stolas punched the mirror causing it to shatter, tearing up his hand now covered in black blood and glass shards. As Stolas began to drop to his knees Blitzø busted open the door to see what had happen.

“Stols…”

“P-please Blitzø just leave. There is no need for you to stand here and torment me any longer, I’ve had enough right now. If you wish to continue to batter me you can come back tomorrow but I cannot do it tonight.” Stolas was a shell of himself. He showed no emotion what so ever.

Blitzø made no effort to leave, he just stood there trying to find any kind of expression in Stolas face to be able to make a suitable comeback.

“BLITZØ LEAVE, DO I HAVE TO GET ONE OF MY GUARDS TO ESCORT YOU OUT OR CAN YOUR LEGS DO IT THEMSELVES” blitzø was shocked that Stolas had just raised his voice to a yell for the first time. Usually if he was upset he wouldn’t get too heated but Stolas was at his breaking point.

“Stols I-“ Blitzø didn’t have anything to say. As he looked down at Stolas he realized how much harm he really caused. This whole time he thought everything wrong with this relationship, or whatever you wanted to call it, was because Stolas was a prissy royal when all along Blitzø just refused to let him in and kept pushing him away.

Stolas looked up at Blitzø with the most heartbroken look on his face. Neither of them said anything for a minute. With tears sneaking past his eyes he let out a heavy sigh, Blitzø knelt down beside Stolas, reaching out to gently touch his cheek. Once again Stolas flinched away from his touch.

“I'm sorry, Stolas. I not good at this talking shit and the sappy fucking feelings, but I know it’s not an excuse for the way I’ve treated you" he whispered, his voice filled with remorse. He blinked back his tears and kept all his concentration on NOT fucking up again (like that’s gonna happen). Stolas held his gaze on the floor knowing that if he looked at blitzø he would break down for the hundredth time today.

“Stolas please just look at me, I know you don’t give a rats ass about what I have to say but right now is the only time I will probably ever be this vulnerable.” Blitzø said with sniffles as he couldn’t hold it in anymore. Stolas peered up at Blitzø slightly and winced as he accidentally placed his hand back down in the glass shards.

Blitzø took a deep breath, his eyes locked with Stolas'. "I need you to know this," he began, his voice tinged with vulnerability. "I've spent so long blaming you for everything that went wrong between us. But the truth is, I was scared. Scared of letting you in, scared of being vulnerable, scared of letting you get hurt again, scared of me fucking up everything we created." He paused, his voice wavering slightly. "But, Stolas, I can't keep pretending that I don't need you in my life. You're the one person who sees me for who I really am, and I don’t understand how you like me this much I mean got not even M&M like me enough to talk to me on off days for sevens sake!” (unless I’m stalking them) “I've been pushing you away because I was too afraid to admit it." Blitzø's gaze softened, his walls crumbling with each word. "I love you, Stolas. And I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused your bird brain.”

“Yo-you love me blitzø?” Stolas began to cry yet again being the emotional man he is. Everything was twisting and turning in his head. Any words blitzø had said now were going through one ear and out the other.

Blitzø's heart clenched as he watched Stolas cry, the raw emotion in his eyes tearing at Blitzø's own resolve. "Yes, Stolas, I do, but I can’t promise I’ll ever say those shitty words again" Blitzø replied softly, reaching out to gently wipe away Stolas's tears. "I've been too much of a pussy to admit it but don’t expect anymore more of this mushy bullshit." He took a shaky breath, his own emotions threatening to overwhelm him. "But seeing you like this, it's breaking me too. I can't stand to actually see you hurt because of me."

Stolas sniffled, his tears subsiding slightly as he looked up at Blitzø with a mixture of disbelief and hope. "Blitzø, I... I l love you," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "But we can't keep antagonizing each other like this. We have to figure out a way to make this work, or else..." He trailed off, the weight of their uncertain future hanging heavy in the air.

Blitzø nodded, his resolve strengthening as he tightened his grip on Stolas's hand. "I know, pretty bird. And I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make things right between us," he vowed, his voice filled with determination. "We got a long fucking road ahead of us, but I believe we can try this as long and I pull the plug out my ass and man the hell up." With those words, Stolas showed what he could of a smile. His hand had finally healed, not like he didn’t expect that, and went to go grab his robe finally realizing he was butt naked.

“Sorry for my indecency dear, I didn’t expect anyone to smash through my window ever again.” Blitzø took a hold of Stolas’s arm before he could reach his robe. He ripped Stolas back across the room. “Never bothered me pretty bird!” Blitzø smashed his lips onto Stolas’s beak. Blitzo pulled back and sternly looked into Stolas’s bottom eyes, “Also, Don’t you ever fucking try to get rid of me again!!”

#stolitz #stolas x blitz #stolas goetia #stolas #blitz #blitzø #blitzo #helluvabossstolas #helluva boss #helluva blitzo #helluva boss blitz #hb

[avaetin]

This AU of an AU is taking over, and I don't know what to do---

“... P… Piece of (hic) t-trash. Get out… (hic) out my h-h… house…!”

Aeon knew something was off with the message he received from, supposedly, Nico, in the middle of the night, saying that he needed him to come down to an address attached to the message. He knew it was Nico’s address - he had acquired it legally quite some time ago (that’s all he had to say) - and Nico’s number (again, acquired legally) but the nature of the message was questionable. So he did the logical thing - he called. Which, in retrospect, was what caused his brain to fail in the first place, since the call didn’t go through, indicating that Nico’s phone had been switched off. And so, once more, he did what he considered at the time was the next logical thing - speeding down in his pajamas to said location as quickly as possible, likely violating a few laws, just to make sure that Nico was safe. Which, Nico was. Safe. Very safe. And apparently, very drunk.

The younger male was currently clinging onto him, cursing him - well, his younger brother, to be precise - calling him a bunch of names that Aeon never expected to come from such a pretty mouth while beating down on his chest. From his drunken slurs, Aeon could tell what was the cause for him getting drunk: confirmation of Percy’s new relationship with that female actress - Annabelle, was it? - whom he had been linked with for the past two years, even while he and Nico were dating. Aeon could tell that this was a low blow to Nico as old and fresh tears slipped from the corners of his eyes, staining his pale cheeks.

“Shh… Don’t cry,” Aeon murmured softly, placing the younger male in his lap as they curled on the couch. Surprisingly, Nico pressed himself as close to him as was physically possible, desperately clinging onto him despite cursing him - Percy - out loud. “He’s not worth your tears. You deserve so much better, angel.”

“‘Course I… I do!” Nico hiccuped, nuzzling against his neck. Aeon stiffened at the gesture, his mind blanking out for the second time that night, causing him to fail to react in time as Nico suddenly bit down on the space between his neck and shoulder. “Hah! That’s your (hic) punish-(hic) nisment! Cheater! (hic) Wasted m-m-my two years (hic) on y-you!”

This was punishment, all right. But not to Percy. Aeon took a deep breath, counting from one to ten in his head as he willed his body not to respond to Nico’s drunken antics. He focused his thoughts on his brother, on the fact that his stupidity continued to surprise Aeon still. To trade this precious angel for anything else… what a joke.

“S-Should’ve (hic) should’ve w-wasted… mm… waited… wa-wasted on your (hic) brother…!” Aeon blinked in surprise. Did he hear correctly? “Might be (hic) w-worth it… Gorgeous…”

A pair of small, cold hands suddenly cupped Aeon’s cheeks, forcing him to look directly into those beautiful brown eyes that had been haunting his dreams for days, perhaps even weeks. Aeon took a shuddered breath as he belatedly noticed how much closer Nico was to him at that moment, their chests flushed against each other. Despite both of them being fully clothed, for some reason, Aeon felt as if his skin was burning.

“Gorgeous eyes…” Nico whispered, looking directly into his eyes while one of his thumbs gently caressed his cheekbones. “Would be rice… nice… n-nice to fall for gorge-(hic) gorgeous eyes…”

I don’t believe in God or any other god, but if one does exist, screw you, Aeon thought, his arms around Nico tightening subconsciously, pulling the younger male closer until there was but a few centimeters between their lips. It would be so easy - to lean down and claim those perfect, petal shaped lips as he had dreamt for many years. To claim Nico as his and only his. It would be so easy, and yet…

“Go to sleep, love,” Aeon coaxed, rubbing small circles on the small of Nico’s back, repositioning them so that Nico’s head was resting against his shoulder. It would be so easy, but he wanted Nico’s love. Not hatred.

“No!” Nico protested. “Have to go-ooo (hic) to your brother (hic)...! Gonna ask h-him to merryyy… (hic) marry me-eeee. M-Maybe he’ll say y-ye (hic) yes!”

“Of course he would,” Aeon whispered, kissing the top of Nico’s head. “Ask him again when you’re sober, sweetheart. I’m sure he’ll say yes to you.”

@haiseiscute333

#aeon (pjo) #nico di angelo #pjo #percy jackson #i didn't wanna type too long so...

[hockeyboysimagines]

Drinking alone

Warnings: Alcohol, some sexual content, vomit, fluff, angst.

This was supposed to go somewhere in the middle chapters, of All good Boys, but I wrote it first, as in before I wrote anything else and forgot it even existed. I only just found it so I figured why not post it. Let me know if you like it🤍

Hallie sat at the bar staring at the shot glass the bartender had set in front of her, as she had been for the last five minutes.

“Are you planning to actually drink that or-?”

She looked up to find the bartender smiling at her while she polished a glass with a bar rag.

“I’ve never seen anyone stare at a shot for so long. Well except the AA people. They come in now and again, order something and stare at it, and then leave. But this doesn’t feel like that. So it must be about a guy.”

Hallie smile a little “Am I that obvious?”

“Kind of. The only time I see pretty girls so sad is when it’s over a guy.”

“I don’t like him. I hate him.” The bartender stared at her until she sighed “No I don’t.”

“I didn’t think so.”

“I want to hate him. I should hate him….why don’t I hate him?”

“I couldn’t say without knowing him, but if he’s causing you to drink then I’d say it’s the opposite. I’d say you L-“

“No!” Hallie slapped the bar and shook her head “Don’t you dare say the L word.”

The bartender started to laugh “Okay I won’t say it. But based on that reaction alone I’m pretty sure I’m right.”

“Ugh! You sound like everyone else I know.” Hallie finally picked up the glass and downed it, nose scrunching “That was terrible. Give me another one.”

As the minutes turned to hours, Hallie kept drinking, hoping that the alcohol would make his stupid face melt from her brain. It did not work.

If anything she felt more inclined to think about him than ever. While her senses had been numbed, her thoughts now moved freely without boundaries. She fiddled with her phone as she sipped a drink, scrolling through her contacts until she found his name. She hit the call button and heard it ringing until he answered.

“Hello?”

“Hey. Just wanted to let you know that I’m mad at you.”

“What the hell did I do?”

“You know what you did.” She hiccuped loudly and coughed “You’ve disrupted my whole life. I was doing just fine until youuuuu came around.”

“Are you drunk?”

“Am I drunk? Yes obviously. Who are you my dad?”

“Where are you?”

“None of your business.”

“You have no idea where you are do you?” He sighed on the other end of the phone, and shook his head.

“Ha…no I don’t. I’m so tired. I gotta go though. Byeeeeee.”

“Hallie don’t-“

But she’d already hung up and was back to sipping on her drink. After a while she felt warm, and her vision got cloudy but she felt so relaxed sitting there at the bar, no one bothering her or stressing her out. Until she heard it.

“Hallie?”

She turned slowly, eyes closing and opening again before she focused on him. She was trashed.

“What the fuck are you doing? Ever heard of alcohol poisoning?” He looked a little mad, which she’d seen before, but never directed at her.

It wasn’t like her to be this irresponsible. In fact, while he could remember her drinking he had never actually seen her drunk. But tonight she was so drunk he wasn’t even sure she knew who he was.

“What are you doing here?” She asked squinting at him.

“You called me remember?”

She blinked and shook her head “No I didn’t.”

“You did. I think it’s time to go home-“

“No way I’m having fun!” She smiled and closed her eyes spinning on her stool. She downed the rest of the drink that was in front of her.

He caught the eye of the bartender and frowned “Ever heard of ‘your cut off’. What’s the matter with you?”

She shrugged and turned away. He threw up his hands and looked exasperatingly up at the ceiling.

“Have a drink with meeeee.” She said, slapping his arm and pointing at the stool.

“I think you’ve had enough for both of us. Let me take you home.”

“Haha! You wish!” She jabbed a finger in his chest and giggled.

“Good lord-“ he mumbled as she continued giggling.

“Alright fine. Take me home!” She stood suddenly and almost fell forward, but he caught her around the waist. She looked up and waggled her eyebrows at him.

“Take your opportunity to feel me up now.” She slurred loudly. Several people glanced at him and he felt his face get red as he attempted to help her out of the bar. The air was frigid, and he was hoping it would sober her up a little.

“Where are we going?” She asked from his side as they made their way down the street.

“I’m taking you home.”

“Nooooo let’s do something fun!”

“Your already having too much fun. Here’s my car.”

“I don’t wanna go home.” She whined head falling back. As it did it caught too much momentum and she almost fell back with it. She hiccuped again and steadied herself “Let’s go to your place! “

“Okay fine we’ll go to my place, don’t hit your head when you get in.” He steered her towards the passenger side door.

Hallie gripped his arm as he opened the door, squeezing it and looking up at him “Damn. Have you been working out?” Her hand slid down his arm, across his chest and down his abdomen, sending a shiver along with it.

“What are you-“

“You’re so hot.” She slurred, hand still resting on his abs.

He was taken aback for a second. She was either drunk and not thinking, or she was drunk and thinking too much. Whichever one it was, it was amusing to say the least.

“Okay Hallie let’s just get you home.” He chuckled a little, maneuvering her into the front seat of his car. As he made his way around the front he heard music explode from his speakers and a loud “Woo!”

It was going to be a long car ride.

To his surprise though, she turned the music down when he got in and was quiet for a while while he drove. She had her eyes closed, head against the window and he thought she might have fallen asleep, until he parked in front of his apartment, and she coughed and sat up “It’s so hot in here I’m getting nauseous.” She peeled her jacket off, and then her sweatshirt, and turned to him looking him dead in the eye, before she pulled her shirt over her head, leaving her only in a bra in the passenger seat. Her cheeks were flushed, her hair was a mess, and her eyeliner was smudged but he’d be damned if he wasn’t getting totally turned on. He’d thought about her naked in a multitude of ways, in his car included, and for a minute he was ecstatic his real life fantasy was happening, but then he realized he was parked on the street, which wasn’t secluded.

“Hallie what the hell are you doing?” He picked up her shirt and handed it back to her “Put this back on.” He looked everywhere in the car but at her. While the weather was cold, it was Friday and there was enough people around that someone could walk past and see a half naked girl in his front seat. HIS. That would definitely make it to twitter and would involve a lot of explaining to his mom.

“I don’t want to. I’m hot.”

He had never seen her in anything but work clothing and he was really trying not to stare but it was hard “I agree but people will see you.”

“Ugh. Fine.” She pulled the shirt on, backwards and made to get out, half standing before falling back in it again. He helped her out, noting that the apartment was dark through the window, thankful that Noah wasn’t home. Getting her up to the apartment was a nightmare, she kept falling and laughing, and he was exhausted by the time he got her inside. He held her up with one hand and turned a lamp on with the other. He felt her hand on his arm and turned to find her alarmingly close to him. Before he could speak or move, she slid both hands under his jacket, pressing herself up against him.

“Wanna make out?” She whispered against his neck, tongue sliding over the exposed skin that wasn’t covered by a hoodie. It was just enough to turn him red, which didn’t happen often, and make his hair stand on end.

“Tempting, more than you know, but no I don’t wanna make out.” He tried to gently peel her off of him. He knew as he did it there might never be another chance of her making any type of advances towards him, but it just wouldn’t be right.

“Booooooo.” She said sticking out her tongue “Your borinnnngggg. Your always trying to get into my pants every other day, and not tonight? What gives?” She tipped her head up to look at him and pushed out her bottom lip.

“What gives is your drunk off your face and I’m not going to take advantage of you that way.”

“But I really want you to.” She whined gripping the front of his sweatshirt and leaned forward lips connecting with his throat again.

“Hallie-“ he warned trying to gently push her off by the elbows. The absolute last thing he wanted was to turn her down, especially since he’d been trying for so long to even get her to admit she even liked him. This was alcohol talking, not Hallie and it would make him feel worse to know that tomorrow she would regret it.

She made a noise somewhere between a whine and a gag, as she attempted to pull him down lower by the neck of his sweatshirt until he was even with her face. In an instant she seemed to sober up momentarily as she stared at him. This was the closest he’d actually been to her, and now that he could see her face up close, he realized he had he been missing out.

“Matty.” She said softly, eyes burning holes into his. Before he could stop himself he leaned forward and kissed her. It wasn’t like when he kissed her in the bar, or when he tried to kiss her when he was drunk. It was heavy, the kind of kiss that made you weak in the knees. The kind of kiss you have someone when you liked them. It felt right. He threaded a hand through her hair as she pushed her jacket off and tugged at his sweatshirt. His brain was screaming at him to stop, knowing how inebriated she was and that she would wake up tomorrow and probably hate him for it, but he just couldn’t. He’d waited so long, forever it felt like, and now that he was kissing her he never wanted to stop.

She pulled his shirt up, and moved to unbutton his jeans, grabbing one of his hands and placing it on her lower abdomen.

“Touch me.” She breathed out, head falling forward, hair spilling over her shoulder. But before he could she stopped, turned pale, and vomited right over his arm and on to the floor. She looked horrified and covered her mouth.

He took an immediate step back and held her at arms length steering her towards the bathroom both stumbling as he hurried.

“Bathroom bathroom bathroom.” He said frantically, steering her into the bathroom and flipping the light switch on just as she started gagging again.

She fell forward, almost hitting her face on the side of the toilet, had he not caught her and threw up again. He grabbed her hair, wrapping it around his hand as she continued to throw up. She gasped and sat backwards looking over at him.

“Don’t look at me.” She moaned swatting her hand in his direction. If he hadn’t been so focused on keeping her hair off her face while she threw up he might have laughed “I don’t want you to see me this way.”

“Get a grip Hallie. I don’t care about this.”

She sat back and closed her eyes, before opening them and looking at him with a small smile “You know. Sometimes you can be really sweet.”

“Only for you.” He pushed a strand of hair off her face.

“Oh stop. That’s not true.”

“Kinda is though.” He said with a shrug. She frowned.

“Really? You’ve never been this nice to another girl.”

While this wasn’t a conversation he wanted to have while he was in a bathroom with her and she was throwing up he felt the need to be honest. Especially since she wouldn’t let him get this out when she was sober.

“I’m nice to a lot of girls, but not like I am to you.” He pulled a washcloth from the bathroom drawer and wet it, leaning forward to wipe off her mouth and forehead.

“Why?”

“You know why.”

“I do. But you shouldn’t feel that way about me. I’m not good enough.”

He leaned down to look at her “First of all, don’t ever say that about yourself, and second of all it’s me who isn’t good enough for you.”

She shook her head sadly “No it’s me. Trust me.” He head lolled to the side and her eyes closed “You deserve someone who can give you what I cant.”

“Nah. I’m good.”

She pushed herself up and crawled over to him on her hands and knees “I can’t love you. You know that right?” She was peering at him through mascara smudged eyes, and looked almost like she might cry “I want to though, but I just cant.”

“Well I could love you. So I guess that’s good enough.”

She opened her mouth to speak but immediately turned and started throwing up again. He started rubbing a hand across her back, when he heard her crying “I’m so sorry.”

“For what?”

“For being such a bitch all the time. And for being this drunk. And for throwing up everywhere oh my god ew.” She threw up again, and cried some more.

“It’s okay Hallie really.”

She sat backwards wiping her mouth and sighed turning to him “I wish I could have met you earlier.”

“What do you mean?”

“I could have loved you before. In another life. Maybe even in this one.”

“Well since you won’t remember tomorrow. I’ll say this now. I love you in this life. Right now. And I think you love me too, you just won’t admit it.”

She looked dumbfounded for a few seconds before she nodded “I think your right.”

His heart felt like it might explode, even though he wasn’t sure she meant it. It could be the alcohol talking, but it could be her being truthful.

“I think you should try and get some sleep.” He helped her up off the floor, catching her as she stumbled and handed her an extra toothbrush, assisting her in brushing them. He eyes were opening and closing and she was slouching a little.

“Im so tired. Can I sleep here?”

“Of course. I’ll get you into bed and sleep on the couch.”

“Pffffft. Don’t be ridiculous. Just sleep in bed with me. You’ve seen me almost naked now anyways.”

He felt his ears get hot “I don’t think that’s a good idea-“

“Why not!?”

“Do you promise to keep your hands to yourself?” He asked leaning down to pull a shirt out of his drawer.

“Do I have to?” She mumbled, taking the shirt and attempting to pull hers over her head. It got stuck several times before he reached over to help her, sliding the shirt over her head, fingers brushing against her waist. He felt her shiver as he instructed her to raise her arms above her head and he slipped a new shirt over them. She stared at him for a minute, mouth slightly open before she smiled “Your kind of beautiful you know.” She paused and her smile got wider “In like a really annoying way.”

“There’s Hallie.” He laughed pulling the T-shirt down over her head “Feeling better?”

She nodded and closed her eyes “A little.”

He followed her to the bed, helping her shed her leggings and tucked her into bed, before getting changed himself and sliding in next to her. He listened to her breathing for a second, assuming she was asleep, and settled in.

She turned over, facing him and her eyes opened “Hey. I meant everything I said Matty.”

“Even the part where you love me?”

“Especially that part.” She stared at him, unblinking for a long time before she said softly “If I wasn’t drunk, would you kiss me right now?”

“I would. Ask me again tomorrow.”

“I won’t be like this tomorrow, so I’m asking you now.”

He leaned forward and kissed her very lightly, pulling away from her just as she started to move her lips, but she pulled him forward again.

“Hallie-“

“Don’t. I might never do this again. Just let me.”

She pulled herself forward, tugging him over her, mouth moving against his. This was all wrong, not how he planned it, but as she said there might never be another moment like this between them. When they broke apart her eyes slid closed.

“I love you.”

He felt for a second like he wanted to cry. Both because he loved hearing those words from her, but also because he was only hearing them under the effects of alcohol. He wasn’t sure which hurt worse.

He didn’t say it back, partially because she fell asleep but also because the first time he said it, he wanted her to be sober and aware so she knew how he really felt about her. He would keep those words locked away for another time when they meant more. When she actually understood that they weren’t just words. He sighed and leaned back in bed, arm coming up behind his head.

He most likely wouldn’t sleep, as his mind was racing a million miles an hour, thinking about her, the kissing, and her confession about loving him in the bathroom. While he knew he annoyed her, he had always been sure that she loved him at least a little bit. She wouldn’t put up with him if she didn’t. But to know that maybe it was a lot, made him feel good. Great even. But it also made him sad to know that it was her who was preventing it from happening. He’d always thought it was his own fault that Hallie wanted nothing to do with him, but it was actually she who had convinced herself she didn’t want to be with him.

He wouldn’t tell her about any of it. He’d keep it to himself, for a rainy day, a lonely night, a time when he needed to remember something good. He also didn’t want to embarrass her, so it would be a secret that he would keep and she would forget.

He heard her sigh and turn over in her sleep, head resting on the pillow near his shoulder. He closed his eyes and wondered if she was dreaming about him, like he dreamed about her every night.

#hockey fanfiction #lets chat #my asks #lovely anons #nhl fanfiction #hockey tumblr #nhl fic #hockey fic #hockeyblr #hockey imagine #nhl blurb #hockey writing #nhl writing #hockey fandom #hockey tag #nhl imagine #nhl x reader #hockey x reader #matthew tkachuk #nhl fluff #hockey blurb #hockey blurbs

[we-will-swallow-your-soul]

The Truth and What is Going to Happen After

Are they Satanists? Are they witches? How in the hell are we able to do these things? Did they sell their souls to the devil for power? I am about to finally answer some of your burning questions. What am I? Well, I am a Grim Reaper. I am Death. Why am I here? I am here for Judgement Day. Yes, that's right, I said JUDGEMENT DAY.(I bet you didn't see that one coming!) It's only that pesky event that people have been harping about over and over again since the dawn of time. As it turns out, this event IS going to happen after all. I am here to tell you exactly what will happen AFTER the shit storm that takes place on the Earth. When my time is up and I keel over here, it is my job to capture the souls that they do not want upstairs. I am in charge of sorting through the souls, weeding out the good souls from the bad souls. I get to say who stays and who goes. I will not be working alone. I will be working VERY, VERY closely with a "spirit" team that consists of demons, devils, witches, what you people would consider "aliens", and a few other surprise guests. The event will take place right here on Earth. I am positive that some psychics and really sensitive people may catch glimpses of it while they are still alive. I am also sure that some can catch EVPS and/or video from time to time as well. Besides that, the only other way to see it will be when your time is up and you step out of your body. There will be what looks like clear glass shipping containers, holding cells, and pits right there waiting for the bad souls. I have already begun "marking" souls for capture. What do I mean by marking souls? Remember the story of Cain and Abel? Cain was marked so that others would not kill him. I am marking souls so that my spirit team will know which ones are to be captured and tortured. Would you believe that there are people that are stupid enough to come right over and make themselves known to us? They are not very bright. We have already marked quite a few of them. Once our spirit team sees a soul that is "marked" by me, that soul will be captured, tortured, and beaten until I personally tear them apart. Once the soul is torn apart it will be consumed by "creatures" and will cease to exist. Souls that made it to the "heaven" area and do not belong there will suffer the same fate. The "good" souls that are left will have their memory wiped and reincarnate back through. We are here to "clean up" the mess. Haven't you ever wondered why there were so many spirits and entities just hanging around here on Earth?? A majority of them are waiting here for this very event. They knew it was going to happen. I am pretty much excited and can't wait to get started. Most importantly, I get to finally give these spirits what they want. They have been waiting for justice and revenge/vengeance for such a long time. Now they will finally have full permission to pretty much do what they want with the unwanted souls. To me this is like one huge party worldwide over the span of many years, and I get to host it! How freaking cool is that? I think my party needs a cool name to go with it. How about the - We will bash your freaking brains in festival? I think it's a cool temporary name for now.🤣 You get the idea. And what about Alicia you ask? Well, I guess you could say I saved the best part for last. (Now I certainly did not forget about Alicia in all of this!) She will play a HUGE role in the festivities, of course. Why, I guess that you could say that she will be my "assistant manager" in all of this. She was carefully hand selected, chosen if you will, to add just the right amount of hostility, muscle, forcefulness, and her own flair of expertise to the job. They really couldn't have picked a better maniac to assist me during all of this. 👽🛸 Those of you who know her, I am sure would agree with me on that one. 😉 I think that I can safely say that we are all looking forward to "taking out the trash" real soon!

#the judgement day #hell on earth #demon #punishment #devils #hellmouth #purgatory event #aliens #end of times #reincarnation #revelations #grim reaper #death

[nikitalovesmelissa]

Skibidi Toilet rant

Sorry for not being in this site for a while i was busy with other stuff argh gosh what do i begin anyways im going to rant on something thats been bothering for five minutes im going to rant on ever popular Gmod web series called Skibidi Toilet oh gosh where do i begin its about these weird CGI SFM/GMOD head popping out of toilet and it sings it goes like this Skibidi bop bop oh my brain is died inside of me right now after watching that poor excuse that its called "Entertainment" its just doesn't make any sense they dont really cant create and come up something that is dumb and monotonous and my little cousin is watching that crap and never stops saying Skibidi bop bop it's bad enough ive been sitting through abysmal crap like The Loud House, Jujutsu Kaisen, and modern SpongeBob Seasons 5 to 8 which these three shows are painful to sit through and understand the popularity behind them im feel like my brain cells died after stupidity I watched and why this trash even exists whats wrong with people these days they didnt try to be creative anymore theres hardly any good movies, anime cartoons or video games because of this crap that it exists soon there be i dont know Marvel Avengers with Skibidi Toilet it just doesn't work Marvel is a comic book company while this abominable trash heap of entertainment is YouTube web series anyways im going to watch something better like Re Zero which is better because its masterpiece while Skibidi Toilet is a abysmal trash

[thedomtreader]

As a man, I'm trying to understand this disgusting trend of trashing the existence of women.  Saying a woman is ugly after 30, or saying such vile things as "a women is nothing more than a toy, an object".  Okay genius, after insulting her how do you plan to make future boys?  She has the intelligence to reject you, and women aren't weak they can karate chop the living shit out of you for being a low life asshole.  In ancient time women were worshiped, now they're seen as fucking dog toys?! Let's chat.

I don't even follow mythology but fucking...those goddesses have responsibilities!!!! The Greek goddess Athena is a damn warrior, she's known for military! If it were a mans world, that would've never happened because the responsibility would’ve been given to a man!  Ancients worshiped these deities, there were shrines and temples everywhere, offerings were left.  The Oracle was a fucking woman and famous generals like Alexander the Great refused to make a move without seeing HER.  Even the movie Gladiator shows how ancient society worked, while Maximus was off at war, his wife took care of the farm.  Taxes didn't stop for soldiers, so women were extremely smart when it came to business because if they weren't, Mr. Ruler Man would take their land.  Women ran all kinds of businesses such as making/dying linen or bread making, and there are accounts that they were as shrewd then as now.  To close up on this topic, that Minoan mural of WOMEN flipping over a bull.  There aren't any murals of men doing that.

So how is it our ancient ancestors saw the woman as a being to worship, and yet now society chooses to make asshole remarks like "you're nothing more than a dog toy"?  Also what is this obsession with fertility?  Sure ancients were obsessed with it but come the fuck on.  On the first date you're really planning on impregnating a woman, what other fucking reason would you have to be so damn obsessed with a woman's egg count after 30?  Sure I'm obsessed with sex but I like to get to know the woman, when I see a pretty face I don't think "Yeah, I hope she's fertile enough to carry my child".  That was uncomfortable to type, how the fuck does the internet feel fine spreading that shit around?  I'm just putting this out there to all the pinheads going around spreading the science about womens aging, that is also the case for men, not sure how that fact flew all the way over your fucking head.  My sperm count started dropping in my late 20s, yet here's the internet acting like that's a thing that doesn't happen.  IT DOES.  There are men who are infertile, as in they don't produce sperm.  These so called scientists never want to talk about that.  Same with women, there is a condition where they can't produce eggs.  Yet these morons are going around "you're ugly after 30 because your egg count went down".  These are the brain dead dumbasses who jack off to Elvira and have no idea she's 70.

Has society really become so fucking stupid that the mentality is "women can't do anything", I've seen enough memes about how women can't drive or play video games.  Considering I witnessed a man pass cars and run over a child crossing the street because “he was late for a meeting”?  Sure, some women are constantly on bitch karen mode, just like some guys are constantly on dumbass jackass mode - That does not mean every single woman and every single man is this way!!!!!!  How the fuck is a woman ugly after 30?  A lot of women are 45 and still look 20, you're fine with the person until you hear their age then spew off all that scientific junk, that pretty much says you’re the one that’s undateable.  Anyone that says another human is an object is scum.

[purrincess-chat]

The reason why I sent you that ask was because I’m actually very baffled by the fandom’s response. Ladrien has had been continuously trashed on since day one and people always had some sort of BS to add. And I just keep seeing people say that ladrien is bad because the show doesn’t like it either. Like hello, we forgetting canon? Yes, I agree that the show doesn’t utilize the side ships as much as it should, but saying that the show favoritised every other side instead of ladrien is such a BS take. No, the show didn’t favoritize other sides. Marichat and ladrien were equal. It’s just that fandom will pull things out of their asses to justify why they only ship one side while hating the other side, even though they’re the same two people.

Ladrien has always been over-hated. And funnily enough when Ladrien stans got pissed and pushed back, MC stans tried to claim we were the ones who were being mean and MC was the ship that got hated on for no reason, despite the fact that every ladrien shipper I've ever met likes MC, they just hate the attitude some of the shippers have toward Ladrien bc it doesn't make sense.

Hating any side of the square doesn't make sense because, yeah, they are the same two ass people. The problem this fandom has is that people tend to treat them like they aren't. That's where a lot of the discourse comes in. That's where a lot of the bafflingly wrong takes come in. And it's been like that from the beginning.

As a certified Ladrien shipper that's been in this fandom way too long, I can honestly say that I've seen it all at this point when it comes to this debate, and I say I've seen it all bc the arguments have been the same since the beginning. These Ladrien-hating MC shippers share one brain cell, always have, and they just pass it on to the next generation that will pretend they invented the true selves theory and are the biggest brains in the fandom. It's all bullshit, and I shake my head every time I see it bc how many times do we have to teach them this lesson? 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ I just block people now when they bring that nonsense into the tags.

Each side has a purpose in canon that is working toward the same goal of the two of them being together. Each dynamic shows us different sides of the same coins and that no matter which way you flip them, they still complement each other. They are still made for each other no matter what costumes they have on and no matter what roles they're fulfilling. But logic is never the popular choice, so. 🤷‍♀️ Do what I do. Block idiots and prosper. I have literally never regretted a single block. Not one.

Don't get me wrong, they're still annoying to find every now and then, but I see it like catching a bug and releasing it outside. They're free to continue existing, just not in my house. And I don't have to look at them anymore. Fandom got a lot quieter and more pleasant for me when I got liberal with the block button a few years ago. Most of the stupid takes are sent to me by anons for commentary as of late. I don't personally see too much fuckery these days, but I also don't really go into the main tags. Just the ladrien tag every so often bc I'm a psychopath whose queue is set through NEXT September. 😅

Anyway, yeah, I agree it sucks and is stupid, but as a Ladrien elder, I've just kind of come to terms with it at this point. It's me and the 10 other Ladrien lovers in this fandom steering this ship, and by God we're steering it.

#cat replies #asks #ml fandom salt #s5 discourse

[alparlaboratories]

My OCs Masterlist

I got tired of having to look through my mess of a computer to find drawings and other stuff about old OCs and characters I might wanna use in the future, and I’m bored right now so I figured I’d make a list with all of my important OCs, or at least the ones that mean the most to me.

These are not ALL of my OCs, just the main ones for their respective stories/campaigns. But there’s still a lot, lol. Also I’m not counting Niss for this list, even if she’s an OC in my heart. You can learn more about her in my pinned post anyway.

(Note: Art is either made by me, my partner @pastlight or has been commissioned by various artists)

1)

Metchi

You know how parents say they don’t have a favorite child? Well I do and it’s Metchi. ‘What if someone decided they wanted to do good purely out of spite and had pretty much everything stacked against them?’ I asked myself. ‘What if she was also a grungy trans girl who has no fucking clue what she’s doing and is constantly bickering with the deity inside her head?’ was the next question. And from that, Metchi was born. The willpower to burn a hole through Mt. Coronet yet the resources and energy of someone who considers cigarettes the most effective breakfast.

2)

Nico

He’s my PC from our current (in hiatus) Pokemon tabletop campaign. A Lumiosian street artist and Sky Trainer who enjoys throwing himself off of high places and being completely fucking incomprehensible to all who meet him. The only neurons in his brains are dedicated to serving looks, calling the wind to his command and delivering the most unhinged takes on the nature of human happiness he can think of.

3)

Tulip

‘I would like to make a tragic character whose obsession with the truth will inevitably lead her to ruin’ I thought. ‘Oh, fuck’ Tulip replied. Out of all my stories, hers is currently my favorite from a writing perspective, and I owe a lot of that to Tulip herself, always willing to push and push until something pushes back, because it’s what she thinks she owes to the people who were just as unfortunate as her. And I love her for it.

4)

Hope and Hunter

These two come in a package deal. ‘Small town life-long friendship’ is something I’ve been meaning to try my hand at writing for a while, and though their story is at the very beginning, I like them quite a lot already. A lot of my personal history with friendships and growing up into your twenties is imbued into them, though they are cooler and dumber and more than willing to take those things to their natural extremes.

5)

Ska

Protagonist of my yet in-progress, unnamed visual novel I’m working on. She’s a sheltered Fae changeling with a death sentence hanging over her head, and a desperate desire to do as much stupid shit as possible before something ends up killing her. She has a bat and absolutely sucks at using it, and she’s hopelessly in love with both of her best friends. I love her deeply, and I hope I can share her with everyone soon.

6)

Shadi

Absolute trash human being, possibly the worst woman in Sinnoh, lover of drama and shadow magic and also Dark Souls. What if an older sister was allowed to be as evil as her little heart desired? Well, that’s Shadi. Obviously there’s more to her, but I like making fun of her. I think she’s a funny character on her own right, except when she’s doing horrible shit to my other OCs, which is often. In any case, she’s one of my favorites to write for a reason.

7)

Eatos

Eatos is... weird. They don’t have a set story, they kinda bounce around a few of my works being mysterious and off-putting and tricking people with smoke/illusion magic. They exist in the same universe as Ska, and in that world at least they’re a human with the power of a Fae artifact. I’ll get more of a chance to develop them someday.

8) (Really old drawing, I didn’t even have a tablet back then lol)

Shadi... 2!

Yeah I have a few characters named Shadi, I just really like the name. Anyway this particular Shadi may be my first actual OC, back when I was... fuck, I dunno, fourteen? I don’t know how relatable this is, but she’s the OC that made me think ‘I’m gonna write her story and become a famous fantasy author and write a bunch of books and-’ and you know the drill. That didn’t quite end up happening, but I don’t regret it much. I did write a book, but my creative goals right now are very different from back then, and I’m happy with that. One step at a time. Still, I care a lot about Shadi for basically getting me into writing fiction, and someday I hope I can write a story that’ll serve as thanks for her.

9

Cole

PC for another Pokemon tabletop campaign that unfortunately never progressed much. Which is a shame, because I like this guy, even if he’s so hard to relate to sometimes that I have trouble writing him. He’s nn ex League/army man who now lives peacefully in Pacifidlog alongside his Electrode called Maradona. He loves dogs to a comical degree (the only part about him I understand) and spends most of his time drinking beer, wishing he could drive fast vehicles and helping out Darya, his neighbor and aspiring contest star.

10)

Machi

Uh... yeah, we’re getting into the really old ones. I don’t remember much about Machi other than she was a hired killer and lived with a guy who did all her murder planning for her because the pay was good and he hated his job that much. It was from her story that Eatos came forth, so it’s a shame that they ended up being so much more interesting to me than Machi. I still like her, though.

11)

Tala

Listen, we all gotta have an edgy OC with a sword, and Tala was mine. Another PC for an even older Pokemon tabletop, maybe even THE oldest. I went around from loving him when I created him, to despising him a few years after and now kinda liking him again, just because he’s so ridiculous in his drama queen ways. He almost rivals Niss in that regard. But yeah, cool sword, tragic backstory, crabby personality, the works. What do you want from me? I loved that shit when I was a dumb kid.

Anyway... there are more of them, but these are the main ones I remember. Of course there’s also Reiko and Percy and characters like that, but they’re different kinds of OCs, and I already posted about them before.

No point to this post other than to have them on here for future reference.

#ocs #ocs masterlist #pokemon #child of thorns #art

[martyrdom9]

In high school my sister was in and on-again-off-again relationship with some girl idr what was wrong with her but she was fucked and everyone knew the relationship was wrong except my sister

Then 5-3 years ago my other sister was also on-again-off-again with literally trash scum of the earth like maybe widely regarded as the worst person in my city and she knew it was bad but it took her years and years to get out

And I was like oh fuuuuck okay when is that gonna happen to me. And I guess that was my last relationship it wasn’t as bad but it wasn’t good

But looking at the older generation (on my moms side) like idk my aunt and uncle aren’t married so they’ve broken up once or twice in my life and they fight in a weird passive aggressive way even tho I would argue they’re good for each other; they’re just stuck in the ways of communication that come down from my nan and likely her ex husband and the whole like population 100 island + religious upbringing of my nan. Idek where my pop was from everyone pretends he didn’t exist but that whole side of the family has suuuuuuch bad issues with communication and an inferiority complex while simultaneously feeling like nobody understands them which could perhaps be seen as a superiority complex

And my own parents it’s like oh my GOD their fights are so fucked like they’re so tense and snappy and they don’t yell often at each other but they never resolve their issues they just get in huge “our brains and thought processes are inherently too different” fights which just. End when their show comes back on after commercial or my mom starts playing candy crush or someone walks away

Anyways I forget my point I just need to log this. Peckford curse for real. I stg it’s something with the “womb” gender non specific but idk if I wanna say sacral chakra. Like the ability to not be afraid of birth + death + rebirth. The ability to not feel the need to be “reserved” around everybody in order to be loved.

Then (idk about my uncle) but it seems like my Nan’s kids just are with Argumentative Man Lite like not to the extent of a born in the 40s alcoholic stupid bitch of their dad but it’s def. A reminiscent relationship of that. Anyways I need to be rich so I can have a team of like a holistic person + a psychiatrist + a genealogist + an addictions specialist + an energy healer + a psychologist/therapist/counsellor idek I need to figure this the fuck out so I can stop being a fool all the god damn (sorry god) time

AAAAAAAAAAH

[akioshiwarrior]

hi yes i am an ARTIST

#aka im just. not doing good artwise today. #i WANT to draw but when i DO draw it doesn’t look any good #i mean its definitely just because of some stupid self imposed standards #like i expect everything i draw to be PERFECT and logically i KNOW that’s not gonna happen cuz it never happens for anyone #and then i mess up and it feels like the world is crashing down and i question whether or not i can even call myself an artist?? #like yeah!! i know i can!! im making ART that’s literally all being an artist is no matter what the quality of the piece is #but for some reason i hold myself to such a high standard that if a drawing doesn’t look good enough through the entire process #it’s automatically trash #and my monkey brain is just happy making stuff but my dumb human brain keeps criticizing itself and tells monkey brain to stop #and it keeps criticizing itself and my smart human brain is trying to reason with it #and be all ‘all art is good art!! you’re making an effort and that’s what matters!’ #while my STUPID brain says ‘if it exists it’s TRASH’ #anyways #there’s three wolves inside of me fighting #and two of them are rolling around on the ground in depression while the third is just #trying to reason with the other two #congrats if you read all of these tags lol

[dycefic]

Have An Evil Day

No prompt this time, just a sequel to ‘Welcome To Evil-Mart’

Working at Evil-Mart is usually… well, it’s retail. It’s physically exhausting, you have to deal with a lot of idiots without being overtly rude, and your feet hurt. Even though the hours and pay are very good, the benefits are great, and our bosses treat us well compared to most retail employees, it’s still not what I’d call a fun job.

But it’s not what I’d call dull, either. Especially not on days like today.

I was promoted to supervisor after the Food Poisoning Incident, so I have a little more authority and a little less obligation to be pleasant and I got issued a weighted cosh because sometimes Evil-Mart customers get… feisty. I’d never had to use it, though, because those who hadn’t seen what I did to Majority Rules, either in person or on one of the cell-phone videos that circulated afterwards, had at least heard about it.  They didn’t give me any trouble.

I was halfway through my shift, and the worst things that’d happened had been running out of croissants and a machine oil spill in Aisle Seven, when our greeter pressed the alarm button, which sent an alert to my handset. As front-end supervisor, that meant me, so I went over. Sam, who is unusual in the henching community for having actually aged out rather than ‘being retired’ jerked his chin in the direction of a tall, swaggering figure. “He just came in,” he whispered.

I did a full double-take before I took it in. Superdyne. Fucking Superdyne.

We’d all heard about his dramatic heel-turn a couple of months ago. The whole world had heard about it. Superdyne, who’d skated closer and closer to the line for years, had decided to cross it in a blaze of bloodshed. He was a villain now, he said. There’d been a whole speech about how ingratitude had driven him to it blah blah blah.

I work at Evil-Mart. I’m from a hench family. If someone becomes a supervillain because they hate Mondays or want to turn us all into dinosaurs or whatever, I don’t judge. I will sell depth-charges and laser guns to anyone who can prove they’re over eighteen without hesitation. But even we get kind of grossed out by the ‘I am forced to turn evil because I haven’t been given enough love’ thing. People who are actually so fucked up by emotional abuse or neglect or some superhero killing their family, we’re fine with them. But they don’t say that’s why they do it, and most of them need a lot of therapy to even realize it. People who actually say that’s why are entitled dickwads.

And now the dickwad had walked into Evil-Mart like he was entitled. Like he thought he was one of us.

“Lockdown protocols,” I told Sam quietly. “On my authorisation.” That takes a minute or two, though, so I went over to talk to Superdyne. “Sir, I have to ask how you even knew where to find this place.”

He smirked at me. “I have my ways,” he said smugly. He’d either bribed or beaten someone, that was my guess. “So this is where the villains shop? We all thought you went to Wal-Mart.” He laughed, like he thought it was clever.

“Yes, so you all say,” I said dryly. I didn’t feel like pretending he was the first person to make the bad joke. “My next question, sir, is what made you think it was a good idea to come in here.”

He spread his hands. “I’m one of you now!” he said happily. “I’m a bad guy! So now I guess I shop where the bad guys shop!” He looked around, frowning a little. “Although I was expecting more weapons and explosives. A… more villainous atmosphere. I didn’t know Evil-Mart had fresh produce.”

“I don’t advise buying herbs here unless you’re a magical practitioner. Some of them have… unusual effects.” A lot of our produce is normal stuff, but some of it not only isn’t legal, it doesn’t exist anywhere else.

“Oh. Well, that makes sense. But the bright lights and the bakery?”

“We have excellent gluten-free breads. In many ways, Superdyne, this is just another store. We have sales, we mark down the breads in the afternoon, we even have a PA system.” I pulled out my handset, and thumbed the button that tied it to the PA. “Attention, shoppers,” I said in my most soothing Customer Service voice, which made him grin. “Evil-Mart wishes to inform you – “ The countdown on my handset reached zero, and I turned to look at the entrance as a huge blast door thudded down. That was the last part of the sequence – staff outside the area were already in lockdown and security were on their way. I smiled, and continued almost without a pause. “- That we are in lockdown at this time, due to the presence of Superdyne in the store. Please remain calm, and be advised that security are on their way to deal with the problem. If you have a personal grudge that you wish to address with Superdyne at this time, he is standing near Register Six with a stupid expression on his face.”

He was staring at me, stunned. “But… but…” he stammered, and damned if he didn’t look puzzled. “But I’m one of you now!”

“No,” I said flatly. “You were always evil, that’s true, but you’ll never be one of us. And for the record, I’m one of the people with a personal grudge. All those henchmen you’ve killed and maimed had families, asshole… and they all shop here.”

He swung at me, then, but I spent years in hench training. Even someone super-strong can be dodged, and once I slammed my cosh into his groin a few times his punches got a lot more aimless. Around then, Tiger Ty came over the register, claws out and snarling, and I figured I should stand out of the way.

About ten minutes later, I turned on the PA again. “Clean-up to Register Six,” I called, in the same special voice. “Category 7, class three. Shoppers, please be advised that lockdown is now lifted but Register Six will be closed until clean-up is completed.”

Hunter, who’d been working Register Six, came out from underneath it. He looked a little green. Well, he was still in his teens, this was probably his first fatal mobbing. “What’s Category 7?” he asked in a shaky voice. “I haven’t heard that before.”

“Biohazard.”

“Oh. Class three?”

“Send three people. He was a juicy one.” I stepped away from a spreading puddle of blood. “Run and get a couple of caution signs we can put around this mess.” I eyed it measuringly. “And one of those fifteen-gallon plastic tubs with a lid, I’ll damage it out.”

He eyed the mess. “Are you sure that’s big enough?”

“Yeah, the average human is only about seventeen gallons by volume, and I’m not going to put all the blood and mush in there, just the big pieces.”

He gulped. “Ah. Yes, ma’am.”

I called after him when he ran off. “One of the black tubs, not a clear one!” Which honestly should only be common sense, but you can’t count on a flustered teenager to have common sense.

We frown on killing customers at Evil-Mart, up to a point… but when a particularly murderous super-hero walks into our store, well, that’s something else. I’d have to fill out a ton of paperwork, though.

I had to chase off one of Doctor Malign’s minons and two members of the Genetic Reign before the clean-up crew arrived, both of whom urgently wanted samples. In the end I scraped a few pieces of liver and unidentified organ into two of the bags we use for possibly-contaminated money just to make them go away. (They’re good customers, and it was just going to go in the trash anyway.)

By the time the clean-up was done, all the big pieces were boxed up, and I’d finished the paperwork, my shift had been over for twenty minutes, and I’d been asked to come up to the boss’s office.

“Listen, I have no issues with how you handled the situation, I want you to know that.” Mr Trent leaned back in his chair, tapping his fingertips together. “It was quick, it was efficient, and… given your personal history with Superdyne, not to mention mine and that of half of our customer base… richly deserved.”

“Yes, sir,” I said. It came out too meek, and I cleared my throat and straightened up. It’s hard not to be intimidated by Mr Trent, when you’re in the same room with him. It’s not his fault, and he does his best, but even under the strictest control his fear-inducing powers tend to unsettle anyone who gets too close. We all know he’s not doing it on purpose and we try not to show our reactions. “Do you have any orders regarding the remains?”

“Doctor Order wants them.” He rubbed his chin. “Get someone from the pharmacy to prepare samples for him, please, including brain tissue. He’s our primary supplier, and we can’t offend him. As for the rest… as you know, I’m retired, and I don’t usually participate in the Endless War.” One of his hands dropped to his left thigh. His prosthetic leg is some of Doctor Order’s best work, but the injury that led to his retirement had been brutal even by our standards. “But this is different. Superdyne came here. To our place of safety. We need to make sure that doesn’t happen again.”

I nodded. “Do you want the remains dumped somewhere public? Some kind of dramatic display?”

“No. Something more direct.” He rubbed his chin again, then tapped the intercom on his desk. “Iris, please send up Miss Fedorova from Marketing and Mr Levy from the warehouse.”

“Yes, sir,” Iris responded, and he clicked off the intercom again.

“The three of you worked together very well, during the food poisoning incident,” he explained. “And I believe they can assist us in a satisfactory conclusion.” He hesitated, then smiled ruefully. “Perhaps you should wait outside until they get here. I can tell I’m unsettling you.”

“Sir, I know you’re not – “

“Not doing it on purpose.” He sighed. “I do appreciate how hard you all work to make me feel… accepted, I really do. But I’m very annoyed right now, which makes control more difficult for me, so I think we’d both be more relaxed if you waited outside while I do my meditation exercises.”

I waited outside. When the three of us went into his office again, the miasma of low-level fear was definitely a bit lighter, and he smiled. “All right. Now, this conversation is going to be very confidential, and I will remind you all of the agreements you signed when you were employed.” We all chorused agreement, and he nodded. “Good. Now, this is very much a secret, even among Evil-Mart staff, but we do have a few online clients who are… ah… on the other side of the fence.”

Ms Fedorova blinked. “What?”

Knuckles sighed. “We ship to a few heroes,” he explained. “The ones who are… less homo than sapiens, if you get my drift.”

I didn’t, and from her expression Ms Fedorova didn’t either. Mr Trent spread his hands, drawing our eyes to his fingers. Which as a rule nobody looks at, because there’s fourteen of them, with four joints in each finger, and we know he’s self-conscious about it. “The less… purely human ones,” he said quietly. “One of the reasons I created Evil-Mart was to give those who can’t pass for human, like me, a place to be… people. To have dignity. So that the obligate carnivores weren’t reduced to living on pet-food or scavenging for scraps, so that those with complex metabolisms could get the supplements they need so that people who are still people, for all their outward differences, could shop in safety. There are a great many more monsters, demigods, abominations of science and other non-standard persons among our set than among the heroes, and I wanted to meet their needs, as well as selling weapons and Lair-away-from-home sets and so on.”

“And there are a few heroes who order from us for that reason,” Knuckles added. “The ones who can’t get medications to suit their metabolism, or need to eat things that you can’t get easily anywhere else.”

I nodded, because that much I understood. We have some very esoteric ‘dietary supplies’ that start with fresh, healthy, well-treated and disease-free prey animals frozen whole (from mouse up to calf and goat kept in stock, larger sizes by pre-order, halal and kosher certified where possible) and end with human blood (rejected blood bank stock mostly, we have an arrangement), and human flesh and organs (sourced from hospitals, morgues and crematoriums, guaranteed no murder, at least not by us). “Well, I suppose that makes sense. I’m surprised we ship to them, though.”

“Oh, they don’t know we know. It’s all assumed names and secret bank accounts.” Knuckles grinned. “But Mr Trent has all our online customers identified before we ship. And for the ones who don’t have any other options, well… we let it slide.”

“I can see why you don’t want that to get out.” Ms Fedorova tapped her chin. “What does this have to do with disposing of the body? I was planning to set up a really ghoulish display in a public place somewhere, I already have some sketches.” Marketing for Evil-Mart is… well, it includes more than designing our sale flyers.

“No. We’re going to deliver them to a hero… one of the ones who owes us… and make it very clear that just because someone decides to admit he’s a villain, that doesn’t make him one of us and it doesn’t entitle him to union services,” Mr Trent said flatly. “I want to make it crystal clear to all of them that a heel turn does not mean their sins are forgiven, or that we will accept them as anything other than a very brief amusement.”

Late that night – we were all on overtime, but it couldn’t be done in daylight – we wheeled a cart down the run-down hallway of a shoddy apartment building. “This is a terrible address for a hero,” Ms Fedorova muttered. “Are we sure he lives here?”

“I deliver here a couple of times a month.” Knuckles was pushing the cart. “I’m sure.”

“Okay.” Ms Fedorova cleared her throat, coughed once or twice, and suddenly her voice was deeper and her very faint Russian accent was as thick as pea soup. “This is intimidation tactic,” she said, grinning toothily. “Do not act surprised.”

I knocked on the door, but let Knuckles do the talking. “Delivery, Mr West,” he called, using the fake name the guy had been giving.

It worked… the door was unlocked and opened almost immediately. “I scheduled the order for next – “ the mark said, and then we were pushing inside, slamming the door behind us.

“Do not be alarmed, Mr… Dinoid, is it?” Ms Fedorova said, folding her arms. “Evil-Mart is knowing all along your real identity. But you are needing to eat, and we are not turning down regular business, so we make no trouble.”

Knuckles rolled his eyes behind her back at how much she was hamming it up, but I waved a hand. Let her have her fun. So Knuckles started unloading the boxes onto the table while she talked. “First, your Budget Bunny Box. Your favourite, da?” The next box, smaller, plunked down. “Two fresh chickens, halal certified, healthy and having lived good life, gift for good customer.” Knuckles dumped the plastic tub on the floor. “And mortal remains of Superdyne, with note.”

Dinoid was staring at us, but that made him shift into a combat stance, his long claws spread. “The… Superdyne’s dead? And in there?”

“Well. Most of him. The big pieces.” Ms Fedorova shrugged an impressively Russian shrug. I hadn’t even known that was a thing, but when she did it, it was obvious. “You must understand, when a mob tears a man apart, it is hard to find every little piece.”

“I’m pretty sure Doctor Malign and the Genetic Reign took off with doggy bags,” I said, as if I hadn’t handed them over myself. “And Doctor Order probably has some of him too, by now. So looking out for clones would be a good idea, I don’t know if that’s in the note.”

Insofar as that reptilian face could show readable expressions, he looked shocked. “Why on earth would… why? He changed sides? And why did you bring him to me?”

“We know your address, we know you don’t want to turn us in because we’re the only ones who can supply your meals, and our boss wanted us to make this very clear.” I indicated the note. Since Ms Fedorova was hamming up her Sexy Russian Supervillain act, and Knuckles was very obvious Muscle, I figured it was on me to be the Reasonable One. “He might have stopped being a hero, but that didn’t make him one of us. That didn’t make him acceptable to us. Our boss wants it made very clear that your failures shouldn’t expect to be accepted by us… or even spared by us.”

He shifted slowly, the tip of his tail twitching. “I… see. I understand why you would reject Superdyne. He was notorious for killing and maiming people on… your side. But I know other defectors have been accepted. Philomel, for example.”

“Philomel was child of villains. She is young, she is rebellious, she sides with heroes for a while.” Ms Fedorova shrugged. “Is understandable, da? The young do foolish things. She comes home, all is forgiven.”

He nodded slowly. “Tenebrous?”

“That story I don’t know.” Ms Fedorova glanced at me.

I nodded. “Tenebrous was just a kid. He was twelve when Varide recruited him. Nineteen when he broke with the guy. Varide put a kid into combat, left him with massive PTSD, then ditched him when he had a breakdown and went too far. Mx Frantique at least made sure he had a safe place to stay and some therapy.”

“It’s happened a few times.” Knuckles rested his elbows on the cart’s handles, his inhumanly big, strong hands dangling. “But there’s a process. A system. If someone’s sponsored by a villain in good standing, like Frantique sponsoring Tenbrous, they can be accepted. Nobody gets to just choose to join. Especially not a smug, entitled prick like Superdyne.”

Ms Fedorova suddenly leaned forward, scowling. “And why are you called Dinoid? You are not dinosaur. You are clearly monitor lizard. Golden monitor, I think.” She reached out and prodded his arm. “And not healthy, either. Look at colouration! You do not keep environment humid enough. Are having trouble with shedding, da?”

Now we were all staring at her. “You’re a lizard expert now?” Knuckles asked.

She shrugged. “What? Is hobby. Mamma’s little Varanus Acanthurus are pride and joy. Sadly, cannot keep larger monitors in city. Is unkind.”

Dinoid ran a hand over his head slowly. “Not many people realize,” he said slowly. “That’s why I order from you guys. I used to get frozen… food… from a pet supplier, but then I got contacted by someone who told me there was another option.”

“Is good thing. Those pet suppliers, they are rogues. They do not keep animals healthy, can get diseases or mites from those things.” Ms Fedorova sniffed. “I would never buy from them. My babies would get sick.”

He actually chuckled, then, seeming to relax a bit. “You’re not wrong. After… this happened… I got really sick a couple of times before I figured out what to eat, and where to get it. And even the reputable suppliers don’t always have the healthiest stock.” He opened his mouth wide, making a gagging noise. “You have no idea how bad that ‘reptile food’ is. Eating whole animals may be a little disgusting, but it’s nothing to some of that stuff.”

“I believe it,” I said emphatically. “There’s a reason Evil-Mart has such an extensive pet-food line. The horror stories we hear from some of our customers… well, you’d believe it, I bet, but most humans just look confused.”

Knuckles nodded, and spread his hands. “People who can’t pass for regular humans… or even for people, the way most normies see it… are a lot more common on our side of the fence than yours. That’s why we delivered to you. We figured you really needed it.”

“Does he order from the pharmacy?” Ms Fedorova was around behind him now, examining his back. “He is having calcium deficiency, am betting. He needs nutritional supplement.”

“I take a nutritional supplement,” he said defensively.

“The one for normal-sized lizards is not enough for man-sized monitor/human hybrid,” she said firmly. “Check pharmacy section next time. We are having excellent selection of supplements for hybrids, and chart to tell you how much to take for body-mass.”

He looked back and forth between the three of us. “You people are… not what I would have expected from an evil supermarket.”

“We may be… morally challenged,” I said, shrugging, “but we’re not heartless.” I looked around his tiny, shabby apartment. “Unlike some of your lot. I thought you were on a team. Why are you living here?”

He ducked his head. “I couldn’t live at the base,” he said, his tail drooping. “My… I made people uncomfortable. And the stipend isn’t much.”

“Isn’t much? With the merchandising deals they have?” Ms Fedorova sounded shocked, and the accent had dropped back a lot. “I know for a fact that if the accountants ever got hold of their books they’d owe more in back taxes than… well, than Evil-Mart would if our illegal product arm ever got discovered. And we pay our taxes on the legitimate stuff scrupulously.”

Dinoid blinked rapidly, though I couldn’t tell whether he was more surprised by her suddenly dropping her act or the idea that Evil-Mart pays taxes. “You do?”

“Of course. Not under that name, of course, there’s a shell company.” She sniffed. “All villains do. Al Capone, you know. We’re not getting caught that way again.”

Knuckles and I both nodded when he looked at us, and he shook his head. “Huh. Makes sense, I guess.”

“It does.” I looked around again. The place really was crappy. “I know it’s a personal question, Mr… West, but under the circumstances I’d like to know… how much is that stipend?”

He looked down at the floor for a while, then cleared his throat. “Uh. $1100 a month.”

We all stared at him. Ms Fedorova’s mouth fell open. Knuckles looked shocked, and I was horrified. “$1100 a month?!” I asked, my voice coming out louder than I’d intended. “For risking your life on a superhero team?! I have teenaged cashiers working part-time who make more than that!”

He looked almost as startled as we did. “For working a cash register?!”

“Evil-Mart pays pretty good.” Knuckles shrugged. “But that stipend is disgusting.”

“You are being exploited,” Ms Fedorova said, sounding really aghast. “That is terrible. Why, baseline henchman pay is twice that, and there are danger bonuses and…” Her voice dropped suddenly. “You don’t have a union, do you?”

“A union? Of course we don’t have a…” He trailed off. “You mean you do?”

“Of course we do. An extremely well-armed one.” Ms Fedorova folded her arms. “Henchmen And Allied Industries has represented us for generations. The last time a supervillain executed a union henchman for failure, he was boiled in oil… literally. On camera. Oh, of course some of the less reputable villains just pick up small-time trash from the streets, untrained rabble from the gangs and so on, so they can treat them as disposable, but we union members are skilled workers, with rights and protections. I bet you don’t even get overtime.”

“Of course not. Crime happens when it happens, and we have to…” He trailed off. “You guys get overtime?”

“We’re getting double time and a half for this conversation. And an extra day off.”

His eyes widened again. “Really? Wow, that’s… even when I was working a regular job, before this, I didn’t get pay like that.” He looked down at his hands and bared his teeth in what looked like an unhappy expression. “And now I can’t work anything but this kind of job. People don’t like having a scary dinosaur in their restaurant.”

There was a long pause.

“You can cook?” Ms Fedorova asked carefully.

“Yeah. I worked in my parents’ restaurant before… this.” He gestured at himself. “They were killed when we were attacked, and I was… changed.”

We all looked at each other. “After you’ve returned Superdyne’s remains to whoever you consider appropriate,” I said, grabbing a notepad and scribbling down my number, “I’d like you to give me a call. Evil-Mart is always hiring in the bakery and deli, and I mean always. Most bad guys aren’t great cooks. We don’t know why, it just seems to be one of those things.”

“You want me to join the bad guys?”

“I want you to work in a bakery. Villains and henchmen need to eat, and so do their families. Nobody’s going to ask you to rip superheroes in half, just maybe make a sandwich that won’t give anyone food poisoning.”

“That’s a regular concern?”

“Six months ago the three of us ran Evil-Mart’s physical store completely unassisted for most of a day because the only people who weren’t down with food poisoning were the ones who’d had the vegetarian and kosher meals.” I shuddered at the recollection. “Trust me. Someone who can cater staff functions without a major disaster would never have to live in an apartment like this working for us.”

“And we get full benefits, including dental.” Knuckles was shaking his head. “I bet you don’t even get hospital.”

“What hospital would take me? I always figured I’d go to the zoo and talk to the vet if – “

Ms Fedorova actually put her arms around him. “You,” she told him firmly, “are going to resign your terrible exploitative job, and then I will personally sponsor you to the union immediately. I have a spare room. You will like it. Humidity and temperature can be set just how you like, and Mamma Yelena will take you to real doctor expert in health of hybrids.”

“Those exist?” he asked, sounding a bit overwhelmed.

“Yeah, the Genetic Reign has like three of them,” I said sympathetically. “Listen, you can take some time to think it over, but you don’t have to put up with this kind of exploitation just because you don’t look human. Nearly a third of Evil-Mart’s staff can’t pass, and they’re treated just like everyone else.”

Superdyne’s dramatic demise got a lot of news coverage. Apparently it came as a real shock to the ‘good guys’ that there were some monsters even the superest villains wouldn’t embrace.

Dinoid no longer exists. Ismail Jameel works at Evil-Mart, and has expanded our fresh food lines a lot already. He’s a nice guy, and after Ms Fedorova told everyone how disgustingly he’d been exploited by those so-called ‘heroes’, he was welcomed with open arms. Literally, in at least one case – he’s dating someone from the warehouse, I’ve heard, though I don’t know who. He says we should rename the store, because we suck at being evil.

But evil is a really relative term. It can mean the blackest depravity, or a moment of viciousness, or even just ‘people on the other side’. Evil-Mart is called that because everyone, at least everyone on our side, is welcome. Plus, we all think it’s funny that the least-evil megacorporation is called ‘Evil-Mart’. What can we say? Bad guys have a sense of humour too.

Have an evil day!

#welcome to Evil Mart #good is not just good #evil is not just evil #people are complicated #and so is retail #tw graphic #tw gore #tw violence #tw murder #it's a supervillain story #supervillain shit happens #you are now warned

[pettyprocrastination]

Please please please share your thoughts on the love of my life, the young white trash motherfucker named Benjamin Miller

MY BABY MY BOO BENJAMIN WHITE TRASH MILLERRRR. Pls message me more more more about this man i love him so goddamn much!! This is literally just a giant un-organized brain ramble so I apologize about that but if there is anything you want me to expand on I would literally smooch you for it!!

Fuckin’ GAMER. Has always loved playing video games and always will. Would come into Will’s room as a little ten year old and go “MOM SAID YOU HAVE TO LET ME PLAY WITH YOU THIS TIME OR ELSE” 

Would play his game boy in church, this got him in trouble a lot as a kid. 

Had a metric shit ton of energy as a kid.

Did stupid shit all the time cause he got bored a lot and there really isn’t much to do in small towns so he’d call up his friends and then thirty minutes later he’s in a shopping cart tied to the back of his dad’s pick-up truck thats going 80 down a busy intersection while his friends are cheering him on. 

My god did this idiot break bones as a kid. Mother fucker was the “i can make that jump/i can climb that” child. 

Undiagnosed adhd child because his father was like “ah he's fine, all boys have energy at his age.” but then it turns to Benny staring blankly at his math homework until 9 p.m. when papa miller has to sit him down at the dinner table with a stern “you aren’t getting up from this goddamn table until you finish your long division, benjamin.” 

it ‘s 11:30 when they finally let him go to sleep.

Now don’t get me wrong, Benjamin miller? Smart as a whip. 

Not really the ‘goofy dumbass himbo’ we all joke about him being, hes actually incredibly smart and intuitive.

I see him as more of a hands-on learner, something tactile and right in front of him. 

Definitely takes shop class, always building shit. Leaves covered in sawdust and still has that faint imprint of the goggles around his face. But my god does he have a talent for it.

Absolutely positively gets in fights

Quite often. 

Benny is a tornado of poorly repressed emotions, blossoming sexuality, and learned southern masculinity. 

Poor Ben does NOT deal with his emotions well. He was raised in a house with a “what’s wrong honey.” mother and a “boys don't cry” father so he is a whirlwind of confusion and anger all the time and needs an outlet. 

Combining this with always living in his brother's shadow? Oh boy. 

He loves Will, of course. He wants to be just like him, his cool older brother who always does what’s right and is the apple of his parent’s eyes. 

Before ben graduated and joined the army, he was the one who would take him out after their dad yelled at him for getting in trouble. 

Wouldn’t say anything serious, he would just lean against Ben’s doorway and softly ask “you wanna go grab a bite?”

And then watch his little brother wipe his tears on the sleeve of his hoodie before they went to a local burger joint. Eating in a tense silence before finally, Will spoke. 

“Dad’s an asshole. But you can’t be doing this stupid shit all the time, Ben.”

But it’s hard. To be the sibling who comes after the golden child. 

Every year the first day of school was just a blur of “Benjamin Miller? You william’s little brother?” 

And he can’t even talk to Will about these issues, because he’s serving overseas right now. 

He’s struggling to figure out who he is because he can’t exist without being compared to him, and he has no outlet that he can channel all his anger and frustration into. 

So yeah, Benny got in fights a lot, but in his eyes they were always justified. 

He never threw a punch to somebody who he thought didn’t deserve it. 

If somebody was being a bully or a little shit and didn’t stop when he told them too, yes, he was known to tackle them to the ground and punch them until teachers were pulling him off and sending him to the office. Again. 

Which then led to the weekly beratement by his father and looks of tearful disappointment by his mother. 

He tried out for the football team and actually did amazing, but of course the coach made a comment about wanting ‘another Miller on the team to bring home those trophies’ and it left a sour taste in his mouth so he never mentioned try-outs to his parents at dinner that night. 

Is a good guy, but had some shitty friends. So depending on who you are, you may think he’s a piece of shit by association. 

He was hot and athletic so he def ran in some popular circles so not everybody had a high opinion of him, until you got to know him personally and had the “oh you're actually not a total cunt.” moment. 

The type of guy you’d talk to one on one in class and get butterflies but then see some of his friends and go “Ah, that’s why I never talk to you.”

Fell asleep in class a lot, but still passed with flying colors. 

Please think about senior!Benny snoozing in class in the chair behind you with his hood pulled up over his face and his arms crossed and you nudge him awake just as the teacher turns around so he doesn’t get in trouble and he gives you that sleepy lil smile before then going back to sleep. 

Dated a LOT. Highschool is one of those micro communities where you date nobody or somebody new each week. Usually the girl’s approach him first. Not because he doesn’t find them attractive, he just doesn’t realize when somebody is into him. 

confident little shit though. When he realized a girl has a crush on him? mega flirt over here, leaning on her locker and everything. 

“You gonna let me take you out tonight?” what a fucking LOSER lmao. 

Bi baby having some concerning thoughts about his friends or maybe a hot tour guide he saw on a college tour and now he’s up every night wondering if he’s gay?? But he also likes girls??? Is he faking?? What the fuck?? Gets in his head to the point the next time he’s getting hot and heavy with a girl in the dark corner seat of the movie theatre all he can think about is “am I gay??” 

Once more-southern masculinity so he bottles that shit downnn.

Definitely would skip class and drive to either Hardy’s or just go fuck off in the woods for an hour or two before returning for his last class. 

Will feed random ass animals and try to bring them home. 

This is a habit he hasn’t grown out of. As a grown man if he sees a stray while driving you bet your ass he’s pulling over. 

Did stupid shit. Drinking, smoking, going to parties and then hauling ASS because somebody called the cops. 

He was by no means the perfect child. 

I will say this and I will not take any critiques on it. Probably lost his virginity in either his dad’s truck or the woods. I think the woods is more realistic and it just makes s e n s e.

i definitely have feelings on him being into the outcast girl who his friends think is “weird” but he thinks you're so cool and you work part time at the local diner where he also happens to always visit on the weekend because they have amazing milkshakes but also he hopes he gets you as his waitress because you sit in the back of class so he never gets to talk to you in school :(

#benny miller #ben miller #benjamin miller x reader #benny miller x reader #ben miller x reader #ask #asks #this makes absolutely no sense im sorry i was just brain dumping

[cheekygreenty]

In My Head - The Darkling x Reader

Supppeer angsty and kinda sad?

The fire engulfed the golden kefta in a water-like rhythm. The cracks and sparks echoed in the open field amongst the silence that settled around all of you. Alina was exhausted, Zoya was grieving, the Ketterdam criminals looked shaken too. But you were unmoving, as still as a painting and not showing a single emotion. They had all witnessed your heartbreak as it fell and crashed the world around you, breaking every part of you. They watched as realization flooded you that you never truly knew Aleksander. They watched as he tore your heart from your chest and threw it into the depths of the Fold to rot.

Painted a picture,

I thought I knew you well

It was humiliating. Alina had tried to warn you but you played her off as selfish and unwilling to use her powers for the good of all Grisha. You told her she was stupid and foolish for loving an otkazat'sya when in reality you were the fool for loving a man that didn't exist.

You told her she was crazy, that Aleksander would never lie to you and that he was good because you knew him. In truth, you were no better than him. You blindly followed everything he said, completely ignoring the alarm bells in your head. You had grown used to them as weeks went by, to the point of the alarm playing a low comforting tune in your mind all day and all night.

There weren't enough apologies in the world to say sorry for the things you'd done and said to Alina and she'd insisted that no apology was necessary because it wasn't your fault, 'It's not your fault you only see the good things about people' she whispered to you before she left to change. But the good things about him weren't there; they never existed. It was all in your head, a mind so desperate for love it concocted a whole new Aleksander, one which you loved so much and would do anything for.

I got a habit of seeing what isn't there

'We were all fooled Y/N, Don't blame it all on yourself' Despite her grieving and sorrow, Zoya's hand rested on your shoulder briefly as a sign of comfort. Without her, you wouldn't have been here right now, alive and breathing.

'I don't blame myself. I hate myself for being so blind'

'Me too'

I thought that you were the one

But it was all in my head

------

You could feel the nothingness of the Fold threading through your hair even inside Alina's tunnel of safety. You stared at her shackled feet, pushing the guilt away and replacing it with a sense of righteousness. There was nothing else that could be done to keep her in check, if she wanted to escape and hide from her destiny forever then she would do so over your dead body.

The Fold needed to be gone and if chaining her to the skiff was going to be the only way she obeyed then so be it. Your mind quickly spiraled back to her hasty words back in the tent. She was panicked and desperate, clinging to your arm like a wailing child begging to be heard. Her lies were bizarre and abundant, no doubt the works from her long journey to the Stag but they were unbelievable. So extreme even a Fjerdan would laugh at their ridiculousness.

The skiff suddenly stopped, Novokribirsk visible in the distance with lines of First-Army troops standing in neat lines.

'Why have we stopped?' A dignitary asked and you wondered the same thing. You searched the skiff for anyone with an explanation, but everyone looked equally as confused but Alina looked mortified. What is going on?

'One more demonstration. You’ve seen what the Sun Summoner can do' You whipped your head around to him slightly moving away but his arm pulled you back to his side with an edge. You heard the loud jangle of Alina's chains as she tried to move. 'Now bear witness to what I can do… with her power.'

He pushed you to Ivan, who took no time in holding you back by the arms, caging you in his grasp. You resisted on the simple basis that you didn't know why you were being restrained just like Alina but the answer came all too soon. There was no time to shout or gasp as Aleksander raised his own hands and the black shadows of the Fold expanded into Novokribirsk, killing everything in its path.

You stood motionless as the horrible sounds of volcra swarming and humans screaming flooded the air. Alina's words came back to you again but you didn't listen. No, you didn't want to. Zoya seemingly came down from the mainsail and looked at the black void in a hypnosis-like stare but nobody dared say anything. There was a silence on the skiff while hundreds and thousands of lives ceased to exist in a matter of seconds.

The comforting tune in your head had suddenly turned into a blinding screech, rendering you frozen and flabbergasted. He did this, Aleksander did this. How could he do this? You tried to fight the heartrenderer off, squirming desperately in his arms to cover your ears from the slaughtering sounds. Your knees had given out by now and Alina was on the floor of the skiff, struggling to get up due to the heavy and awkward chains. I put them there.

'Today, we redraw all the maps. With the power of the Sun Summoner at my command, I control the Fold.' A sob erupted from your throat right at the minute you realized Alina was right. You didn't listen, this is all my fault. Ivan pulled you back up, roughly smacking a hand over your mouth to stop your pathetic cried of betrayal. You fought a little harder, trashing around in hopes of escaping his hold or at least getting someone's attention but nobody seemed to care. They all feared for their lives.

'All countries will answer to us. For who would oppose us now?' He briefly shot a look in your direction but spared you no emotion. It was then that you saw the real Aleksander, blood-thirsty for power and revenge. The Black Heretic.

Everything you are made you

Everything you aren't

The next five minutes were a complete blur. You somehow found yourself fighting for your life and those around you. Your head was empty of its usual whirling thoughts as survival mode kicked in. Kill or be killed. You stopped counting how many hits you got or how many bruises were forming on your body. It was primal and in your Grisha nature to protect those around you, and in that haste of battle you made your allegiance to Alina obvious.

There was no time to think about Aleksander. You weren't quite sure you wanted to think about him. He was on this skiff with you, on the opposing side that just murdered a town full of people yet the part of your brain, your imagination, craved to be by his side. To please him by obeying, to get his touch in return. You were addicted to the man who had ruined your innocence.

'You betrayed me' His voice was right behind you as was his hand, creeping up the side of your throat and forcefully pushing you against the barrier of the skiff, ready to throw you over to the unlit Fold.

'I betrayed you?!' Your shout was loud and hearty, overflowing with sadness and shame at being relieved for being next to him again. You clawed at his tightening hand, feeling your airways restrict and your vision become fainter and fainter. You would die at the hands of the man you loved.

'Look what you made me do Y/N, do you think I want to kill you?' Your head bopped but your stupid heart grasped at the sadness in his words, he still loves me. 'I don't want to. I really don't'

'Then don't' you chocked out, your hold on his wrists becoming limp. You felt the ever-so familiar touch of his lips grace your temple and then he retreated.

The world went dark but your body hit the deck of the skiff, not the soft sands of the Fold and your lungs abruptly filled with forced Squaller air.

Yes, I did it to myself, yeah

Thought you were somebody else

'What are you going to do now?' You still sat by the fire while everyone stood. Zoya had left your side and was talking with Alina but you filtered out the noise. Your head was too full of your own self-hatred to stand any more voices so Jesper's question to you went unnoticed. 'Y/N?'

You looked at him and shrugged. You didn't want to move, your body still ached too much from being dragged away from the brink of death to make your way somewhere safe.

You would never admit it around anyone, but as Alina spoke of the Darkling being dead, a wave of grief washed over you. It was cold and unpleasant; unwelcome. But you knew love didn't disappear overnight. You didn't know who saved you on the skiff, whether it was he who had let you go, or was it Zoya who battled to have you freed from his grasp.

As much as you had created the Aleksander you viewed, the foundations were all him, you had only added on or omitted the parts you did and didn't like. You prayed it was him who spared you, you prayed there was something real about your Aleksander, that that was a foundation.

The tears that fell down your face in a stream were assumed to be for the betrayal and the horridness of what the Darkling had done to you and others, when if fact they were for him. You cried because you would never see him again, you cried because the people who had helped you get out of the Fold were the same people who had killed him.

-------

When Mal caught your deathly stare in his direction, he had to do a double-take. You had the same look in your eyes as the General did when he fought him in the Fold, that exact replica of coldness and rage; revenge. But surely he was wrong. You were happy to know the Heretic was dead. He betrayed you the most out of everyone here and almost killed you. Why would you be vengeful?

He waved it off with a shake, it's all in my head.

------

Masterlist

Taglist (Tell me if you want to be added!)

@aleksanderwh0r3 @theonelittleone @searching-for-gallifrey @lostysworld @0-artemis @exo-1204 @staradorned @bookfrog242 @simp-for-ben-barners @keepdaydreamingbb @acciorudolphx @pansysgirlfriend @justmesadgirl @rosiethefairy @partiesandblurrypolaroids @ashwarren32 @s1xthirty @toujurespure @misselsbells06

#shadow and bone #the darkling #imagine #the darkling x reader #ben barnes #grisha #alexander #alexander morozova #alina starkov #fanfic #general kirigan x reader #general kirigan #kefta #series #shadow summoner #black general #aleksander morozova x reader #little palace #one shot #keftas

[iisuya-simps]

Hello! May I please request headcanons with the buster bros (+Samatoki? If that’s okay!) with an S/O who is into anime + idol (rhythm) games? Thank you! Hope you’re having a good day/night 💙

A/N: *Rubs hands together* Buckle up yall, this is a long one. I may have had too much fun writing this... :p lol enjoy~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ichiro Yamada

Ichiro first saw you at a manga cafe rocking some merch from your favorite game franchise and had to go over and talk to you

he also found out that you're into anime too

he may try and quiz you to test how into games/anime you are

his eyes light up and his heart pounds but he plays it cool

after a long interrogation conversation, he asked if you would meet him back at the cafe next week

he lent you the latest issue of a light novel that you never got around to reading

now he would have an excuse to see you again

a few months later one of your favorite animes was being played in the theatre once so you both went on a date to see it

if its a sappy rom-com he will 100% deny that he cried and brush it off as an eyelash caught in his eye

but he totally did

to be fair you did too

though he may prefer light novels over anime most times

he will totally sit down at watch the new season of an anime you two enjoy together

prepare for a brain malfunction if you tell him you're into cosplaying

"oh yeah I cosplayed them a year ago"

"y-you wouldn't happen to have any pictures, w-would you?"👀"

*cue nosebleed*

"That's it, I've found my soulmate" he says he's kidding but actually means it

ANYWAY

him being a weeb

Ichiro is also well versed in rhythm games

he will tell you if your waifu/husbando is trash or not

you both have your own little superstitions and rituals you do before gacha pulls

you might use a certain finger to click the screen because that's the lucky one

Ichiro turns the volume up and closes his eyes before clicking

"What no way!! CLICK MY SCREEN! YOU'RE LUCKY TODAY!"

"AHHH thank you y/n! Look at them! They're so cute!"

you both marvel over the cute characters

he is totally impressed by the songs you can do on pro/master

"NO WAY A FULL COMBO?!?!! You're amazing!" 😍

he will totally challenge you to see who can get a better score

but you always win

he did come close a few times

but gets flustered and flubs it up at the end when you're watching over this shoulder

he finds it cute when you're humming along to the songs while DESTROYING the beat map

Bonus+

*you unbox a package left on the doorstep to find a scanty cosplay* "Ichiro, what is this?!?" "What? I thought you would look cute in it" ;p "I'm not dressing up as your favorite idol!" "wh- babe why not?!" :"( "ok maybe..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jiro Yamada

Like Ichiro, Jiro is a big nerd too

you two met in a soccer match of all places

you were taking a break during halftime when you quoted a line from some weird obscure anime

"No way you watch ___ too? I thought I was the only one!"

you haven't seen each other before because you're on different teams from rivalling schools

after the game he gives you his number then the rest is history

you two end up messaging each other all night talking about other animes and games you enjoy

he likes sports animes along with action and adventure

you also found out he plays rhythm games too

after a while, he'll invite you over to the Yamada household and show you his collection of light novels and games

"There's more where this came from, my big bro is a bigger nerd than I am."

you'll sit down on his bed and show each other your cards and play a few songs

"Jiro why is your tap sound louder than the music!?!?"

"I need to hear the beats or I'll fail the stage!!"

He might challenge you to see who can get a higher score

you both play on hard

but you're pretty evenly matched

"Haha! That's a point for me, y/n!"

"No fair! I don't know that song very well..."

If you don't have the best gacha luck Jiro will cry with you during your loss

he's not much better...

"NOOOO I PULLED THE WORST ONE"

and because of that, this boy spends all of his allowance on gacha...

"Jiro, don't tell me you actually bought a gacha pass..."

"I SPENT ALL OF MY GEMS TRYING TO GET THEM SO I HAD TO!"

"JIRO!!!"

"Y/N PLEASE, I NEEDED THEM!!" (╥_╥)

Bonus+

"Here Jiro I got you this." He excitedly opens the package. "No way! A ___ Figure??!" "They're your favorite right?" "YESS" He sets the figure down and bear hugs you. "Thank you y/n, I'll treasure this forever!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Saburo Yamada

Saburo picked up anime from his brothers

they would all watch action animes together as kids

until Saburo started a fight with Jiro and they tried to one punch each other out of existence

"HEY GUYS CUT IT OUT YOU'RE NOT FRIKKIN SAITAMA"

ahem. moving on...

Saburo is a nerd too

but he may be a bit more casual (in his own way)

he spotted you playing a rhythm game in the corner of the hall during lunch break

"Is that _____? I play ______"

"Oh really? Whos your favorite?"

"What? you like them?!? You have no taste..."

"W-what?! Shut up! their cards always have good stats!"

"But look how pretty this one is!"

you two quickly become friends and meet up every lunch and discuss things like your methods to preserve gems

Saburo likes making charts and spreadsheets to predict what event will be next and what characters are featured

"Haha! look y/n I totally called it!"

He likes collecting cards and comparing the stats

cause that's fun too I guess :/

He must assemble the best possible unit

I can see you two having competitions to see who can get the best score

or who can rank higher in an event

Saburo is very good at analyzing the beat map at first glance

he will also point out patterns he sees to try and help you understand the rhythms

he usually plays on hard and pro

while you do pretty well on normal or hard

he likes a good action/fantasy anime

but he likes sci-fi too

maybe even mystery

he was nervous asking you over to his place to watch anime

because you suggested a slice of life rom-com

does this mean he makes a move or you just watch it together and that's it O_o

Bonus+

"Yes! New high score! Y/n, did you see that?" You giggle. Good job Saburo. You lean over to kiss his cheek then see the smoke coming out of his ears. "Y-y/n!" *blush blush* "Hehe, you're so cute when you're nerding out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Samatoki Aohitsugi

Rio invited Samatoki out to a neat cafe because they offered cool exotic blends

When they walked in Samatoki was intrigued spotting your crazy colored hair and tattoos from the corner of his eye

which was weird cause that's not his type

or maybe it was

After ordering the coffee and sitting down Rio noticed that he was distracted

"I see you staring, why don't you go over and talk to her?"

"I wasn't staring! But there's just something about her..."

you were sitting in the corner of the cafe reading manga when he approached you a few minutes later

"uh hey, I like your tattoos"

"Oh thanks! Do you watch___ too?"

*casual panic* "Oh yeah totally, what are you reading?"

You knew he was faking it but continued anyway

"Eh, what's the difference?" 😮 "The difference is--"

He didn't know much about what you were saying but he loved watching you talk about something you were obviously passionate for

through an hour or so of conversation, you realized you both had more in common than you thought

he asked if you would like to do something like this again and gave you his number

You were happy to explain plots of random animes and games to him

Samatoki may not get the appeal but he likes seeing you happy

You go on a few dates and make your relationship official

he's absolutely fascinated by you and your nerdiness

"BABE!!!" "What is it?! Are you ok!?" "I JUST GOT A SSR CARD OF (insert favorite character here)"

Tch, *rolls his eyes. "That's good, right?" "LOOK HOW CUTE THEY ARE!"

he may get a little jealous watching you fawn over you your fav

"Hmmph, why would you want a fictional character when you have a real man right here?"

*author sobs* :")

you let him try a song on normal difficulty

but it is still hard for him

"What the hell! Why are these notes coming at me so fast?!"

He doesn't pick up any manga or light novels

but he likes watching anime with you though

preferably a good action and or adventure one

he may become more interested when the female lead shows up on screen

hey, eyes up here buddy >:(

he won't say it but he secretly likes romcoms

maybe cause Nemu used to watch them growing up

I can see him getting so invested he'll yell at the characters

"Are you stupid?? She's trying to confess to you! Moron..." he huffs

(he does this with cooking shows too)

Bonus+

"Samatoki come on! The next episode of ___ is airing! You rush into the bedroom. "Hey, have you seen my pho-" "Shut up, I'm trying- to win." You laugh hysterically at him stealing your phone to get a full combo. "You got this babe, I believe in you!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for reading!

#I may or may not do most of these things myself #hypnosis mic #hypmic #headcanon #hypnosis mic headcanons #buster bros #ichiro yamada #ichiro yamada x reader #jiro yamada #jiro yamada x reader #saburo yamada #saburo yamada x reader #mad trigger crew #samatoki aohitsugi #samatoki x reader

[onebizarrekai]

undeniable proof that shuichi and kokichi were gay in v3

prepare yourself for the most big brain thing that has ever bigged your brain

chapter 1

shuichi saihara spends this chapter following kaede around because they were just trapped in a godforsaken killing game and everything seems to suck. when faced with a situation such as this, the natural inclination is to either find someone to latch onto or to distrust and stick to oneself. shuichi does the former because he is a twiggy little man who would probably die in a fight before anyone even attacked him.

what is kokichi doing in this chapter? sticking to himself? stalking someone? that is the real question. nobody knows what he is doing because he is not the protagonist and not the obligatory party companion. however, since v3 follows a theme of fiction, it is totally logical to believe that some system must be in place, but kokichi is not bound by such a system because kokichi represents anarchy.

he does not stick with another for all to see, nor does he remain alone. alas, he searches for a secret companion and has not found one yet. who shall he find? shall he find any? the truth is, he gravitates towards shuichi. it’s supposed to be in secret, but there is a way in the game to see what really happened.

if you speak to tsumugi right before everyone is asked to gather at the cafeteria a second time, she mentions sonic the hedgehog. kokichi runs by, saying “got to go fast”. this means that kokichi has either played sonic the hedgehog or is at least well-versed in sonic memes. if you get this dialogue, and only if you get it, later, kokichi makes another sonic reference, saying “faker? I think you’re the fake hedgehog around here!” while he confuses everyone, the dialogue makes the odd choice of stopping on shuichi, even though the dialogue box only includes “…” and nothing else.

chapter 2

if you have unlocked tsumugi’s sonic dialogue and go to the monomono machine, you now have a 5% chance of getting sonic merchandise. if you give this merchandise to kokichi, you get some interesting dialogue. he says “wow, shuichi! how did you know that I grew up playing sonic and that it’s my absolute favorite video game series of all time?” this immediately maxes out all 5 of his friendship fragments, and you can get all 5 of his hangouts without giving him any more presents. you’re probably wondering why this is important, but you will see.

as kaede is now dead, shuichi finds himself horribly alone. while kaito is there and starts calling him his sidekick, the force of protagonist syndrome has caused shuichi to gain the courage to hang out with anyone, including kokichi of course. I don’t need to talk about kokichi’s hangouts. they literally end with “I stole your heart, so now I’m satisfied!” and it doesn’t get gayer than that.

or does it?

if you investigate the bathroom part of ryoma’s lab during this chapter and click on a very specific spot in order to enter one of the stalls, you can click on the toilet 5 times and shuichi will lie down on the floor. while it’s to investigate the underside of the toilet, and there is nothing to be found, the words “kokichi was here” are written on the ceiling above the stall. if you’ve already hung out with kokichi at least once in this chapter, shuichi will sigh and wonder what kokichi is doing right now.

if you’ve given kokichi the sonic merchandise, and you reach kokichi’s final free time event in this chapter, he will actually question shuichi after he finishes bandaging kokichi’s finger up, briefly commenting on how shuichi managed to get close to him so quickly and asking him “what his trick is”. he says “you must like me a whole lot, shuichi. I hope you don’t bail on me after this.” word for word, literally just hear me out.

“kokichi places his warm hand on mine, and I feel like he’s prying much deeper than he usually does.”

“I didn’t think that was possible…”

chapter 3

little did you know, giving kokichi the sonic merchandise unlocked a bonus hangout. yes, you heard me right. a WHOLE bonus hangout. you can hang out with him again whenever you want in this chapter. kokichi only says “good to see you.” you can select yes or no.

the screen will fade to black.

you have used up a free time.

if you have reached this hidden part of kokichi’s relationship sequence, random dialogue that isn’t in the normal game starts getting sprinkled in, as well as certain easter eggs. when angie starts her whole shtick, since you’ve already hung out with kokichi 5 times, there are a few things he has to say straight up, like how he’s going to teach shuichi about cults so shuichi doesn’t accidentally join the student council.

chapter 4

now that you’ve finally reached chapter 4 and activated the secret kokichi pathway, you get a hidden scene, much like the others that are triggered by having specific items in your inventory. in the middle of the night, kokichi breaks into shuichi’s room and shakes him awake, telling him that someone stole his almond milk.

shuichi tells kokichi to shut up and rolls over.

fun fact, if you get the hangout with miu where she checks whether shuichi is a virgin, she does, in fact, say “ha, I can’t believe this!” and if you zoom in the window behind her, you can barely make out kokichi’s face. peering in. watching you. if you click on him at any point during this hangout, you will hear a voice clip of kokichi’s laugh and shuichi will internally respond to miu’s dialogue differently. he will think “miu is the last person I need to know about this…”

in this sonic dialogue route, shuichi responds slightly differently to kokichi revealing that he is the mastermind. although his dialogue is mostly the same, he counts approximately 22 extra crying sprites, implied to be caused by additional heartbreak.

chapter 5-6

these chapters play out mostly the same way until the very end, the only exception being when you’re investigating kokichi’s lab. if you click on kokichi’s throne 13 times, one of the bookshelves will slide out of the way to reveal a hidden bathroom. there is an envelope taped to the wall that says “for my beloved detective, who habitually smacks things over and over.” it says “if you’re reading this, I’m probably dead. or am I? wouldn’t you like to know? nishishi.” shuichi comments about the fact that kokichi literally wrote that stupid laugh out, only to start crying again.

make sure that you have kind lie equipped as one of your skills before you start the final trial.

if you’ve done everything exactly according to plan up to this point, the ending is different.

tsumugi decides to show kokichi’s audition tape instead of kaede’s. he says “I’d love to be a part of danganronpa! I can finally be a bad guy without being scared!” but then kokichi looks directly at the camera. he says “naw, just messing with you. guess who?”

the screen cracks.

kokichi has suddenly entered the scene of the trial. tsumugi looks horrified. her wig falls off. everyone is at a loss for words. suddenly the screens and lights around them start to black out until everyone is left in almost complete darkness.

shuichi finally asks kokichi how he’s alive. he’s like, “you DIED” and kokichi is like “or did I? it’s the grand finale, shuichi! I owe you the truth this one time, because you’re my favorite.” everyone listens intently. “you see, by observing your irrational actions, almost like that of a main character… I was able to conclude that we exist in a fictional world that plays by certain rules. but we all been knew, didn’t we? not quite! someone forgot to test for exploits.” himiko just goes like “what the fuck you smokin?” and kokichi just laughs. “my self awareness has given me more power than you can possibly imagine! let’s just say I learned where the hit boxes are broken and installed a few cheat codes in the meantime!”

“no… that’s impossible! this isn’t supposed to be part of the ending at all!” tsumugi doesn’t like that one bit. she just kinda breaks down crying. shuichi isn’t paying attention to her though. he had accepted oblivion only to be greeted with kokichi being alive. as annoying as kokichi is, they are hopelessly in love. maki is a little disturbed.

after passionately reuniting with shuichi, kokichi says the thing. “this world is mine now, tsumugi! you got nothin on this! it’s time to say goodbye to this trash dump and create a new reality!” tsumugi just kinda goes like “noooo!!!”

everything goes black. shuichi has a vision about entering creative mode. kokichi has opped him. they take hands. “let’s create someplace way more fun.” maki and himiko and keebo look at each other because they’re floating in the background and watching this happen even though it’s supposed to be an internal vision. the screen goes white.

shuichi graces us with some internal protagonist dialogue about how he doesn’t really understand what’s happening anymore or what’s waiting for them outside of this world, but he thinks that things might turn out ok.

after unlocking this ending, you unlock a super secret video that you can view from the main menu. it’s a fully animated video of kokichi and dice dancing to world is mine. this is what they spent all their budget on

#april fools #saiouma #oumasai #ndrv3 #shitpost #I spent like 3 hours writing this #drv3 spoilers #random stuff #shuichi saihara #kokichi ouma