#who am i kidding not it didnt

[inkskinned]

you were raised in comparison.

it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.

you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.

you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.

what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.

it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.

you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.

you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?

a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.

you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.

it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.

something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.

#writeblr #warm up #my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky #i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles #yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help #for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT #and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen #than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say #''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help #i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.'' #bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't #actually offer fair support to everyone #we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less. #and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help #bc i DID have it better than other people #and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help. #we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn #instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself

[apathyfairy]

last year i found a wii at goodwill for 25 dollars and it came with everything except a wiimote but it was in such good condition i was like hell yeah ill take it how hard can it be to find a wiimote. the answer is it's nearly impossible to find them at thrift stores now so i've spent like 8 months looking for ones in thrift stores but there wasn't a single one and then online but i just couldn't bring myself to spend 30 dollars on one single wiimote so i waited so. patiently. and then 2 weeks ago i finally found one at goodwill for 9 dollars but it was absolutely disgusting and the battery cover was missing and the compartment was all corroded so i put it back and regretted it the whole week but then this last weekend i went to savers and there was an absolutely perfect wiimote just sitting there with no corrosion and a jacket and the wrist strap and motion plus and the nunchuck was there too and i got it all for 10 dollars so the moral of the story is that sometimes things seem right for you in the moment but you have to recognize that they aren't and leave them behind so the things that are meant for you will in fact find you when the time is right. peace and love <3

#for real though im so happy i cant even lie like i regretted selling my wii soooooo much but anyway im back baby <3 #im disinfecting everything rn bc i have a germ problem but once it it's done.....i am SO back #when i first got it i didnt have the remote right so i couldnt plug it in and make sure that it worked but i did just plug it into an outle #to make sure it ran and it did and wii sports resort popped out of the drive so thats fun bc i didnt have that one #and anyway i might cry when i hear the menu sound ngl ngl. #but the city i live in is like an overgrown retirement home and so the goodwill is full of old people things and this wii had stickers #like explaining which cord was which so i just know it was a wii that they bought for like grandmas house and only played it when they were #over there so anyway cant wait to see what's on there and if the news channel and weather channel are still on the homepage even though #i dont think they work anymore lol #also shoutout to the type a kid who kept their wiimote in such perfect condition that i wanted to cry when i saw it sitting on the shelf #ty <3

[kinos-fortress-2]

more doodles but now of yaoi pyropauling

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #pyropauling #missfire #miss pauling #pyro #god the last pose was so frustrating bc it kept looking bad everytime i tried to fix it and still looks bad #I DIDNT USE REFERENCES and thats why it looks whack agh use references kids #kino art #but imagine it looks alright that pose no who am i kidding it looks bad im gonna cry

[macksartblock]

beware of burnout it's so real i'm afraid

also bc ended up making my writing into a font to avoid killing my hand as much and bc I saw Caden do this, I thought it would be fun to see who y'all think it suits lol

#trust me i am working my way out of it lol #dndads #dungeons and daddies #normal oak swallows garcia #hermie the unworthy #oakworthy #once again i find them really funny being so dysfunctional #and no there is no step prior to the inevitable breakup it just happens #this is just how they are throughout college (they do not talk post graduation the reunion is the 1st time they see each other in years) #lincoln li wilson #taylor swift dndads #hero oak swallows garcia #ik i didnt write out like every character i could have but i was distracted by giving my brother impromptu sewing lessons #i didn't expect that to happen he just kinda showed up like 'I know you'd love to help me with something' like who told you that?? #my artwork #edit: I wrote reignite wrong are you kidding me dugjxghshzs it was 4 am oh well

[system-of-a-feather]

BTW if you think calming corners, sensory rooms, and other forms of dedicated spaces to handling overload, anxiety, or intense emotions in your house is something only for kids - or even worse - only neurodivergent kids, you are largely denying yourself a very helpful resource based on social norms.

Having a space dedicated to being safe and with easy access to things to help lower overstimulation and calm intense internal experiences is something that everyone can benefit from having

Not just kids

Not just neurodivergent kids

Not just neurodivergent adults

Not just mentally ill adults

Everyone - even the hypothetical person with no mental illness or physical disability

There is nothing "immature" about having spaces organized to make your difficult times easier to handle and I think everyone should consider dedicating maybe even just a shelf or corner in their place to having an abundance of self care resources

Self care is not a limited resource and not something that you have to be "bad enough to have"

If you think its a good thing for parents to provide their kids with rooms / spaces dedicated to different ways they can self regulate, then you should agree that if you are also dealing with any levels of difficulty self regulating, that it should be a good idea and good thing to provide yourslef with rooms / spaces dedicated to ways to help you self regulate

Children and adults both have emotions and life experiences that are hard to regulate / handle and both need ways to relax and calm down

Self care, sensory rooms, and coping / calming corners are resources that can help both children and adults with those difficult moments

#alter: fei #alter: riku #as someone who just realized that I don't need an office (ie the socially normal safe space that I used to have) #and instead could just have what all my neurodivergent kids have #and even just young kids have had in their classrooms and theraputic spaces had #and that it worked much better and there was no reason - other than the implications of mental illness and thus social stigma of having one #as to why I didnt just have one #and i am zero percent regretting it this is so much better for my mental health #actuallyautistic #autism #adhd #actuallyneurodivergent #actually neurodivergent #actually did #actuallydid #dissociative identity disorder #ptsd #self care

[askinsufferableprickmod]

thinking about john n davesprite n dave what happens when he finds out its not just a bird dave thing but a dave thing..... the idea hes built up of The Real Dave comes crashing down

like things were def made worse by being stuck together for 3 years with noone else n all of the extra issues davesprite has On top of all the normal dave bs but like, fuuuckkkkkkk

#and like #i havent touched hs2 in ages but just thinking about any post canon thats based on the canon end be it hs2 or not #john interacting with dave #davesprite was the dave he was with for 3 years #the First dave he met... #do you think he thinks about him? #sees davesprites mannerisms in dave #n realizing what a pedestal hed put dave on compared 2 davesprite cus he hadnt seen daves issues up close n personal #years later looking back #after maybe even learning about some of the details of daves fucked up home situation #having the context for some of ds behavior #he was just a kid.... #he was the only beta kid not to make it.... #i just remembered jasprose n was like.. hmm idk if id count her since she shows up so late BUT #SHE DID MAKE IT #ok now im even more upset..... he truly was the only one of them... the one who gave up his identity....... TWICE(counting davepeta as 1 #N THEY DIDNT EVEN MAKE IT SO LIKE) #i am going insane #i am thinking violent thoughts #davesprite #rambles

[realbeefman]

stacy is sooo interesting because she's in love with house but knows that they will never ever be able to have a healthy, stable, sane relationship because they're too similar so. she finds house-lite instead and marries him and. essentially moves on with her life! and is successful in this because she's a moderately well-adjusted person!

wilson, in contrast, never manages to escape the inevitable, in spite of his best efforts to find a house-lite of his very own, because he's an absolute fucking freak and ends up glued to house to the bitter. bitter end

#yeah im too sleepy to revise this. UNFILTERED posting wooahh #some may b shocked but i do actually read thru most of my posts several times to make sure i didnt accidentally write mein kampfe 2 #recently ive come to the realization that i am in fact not an incredibly chill person #and that the constant paranoia and fear in which i live my life is actually PROBABLY a symptom of severe anxiety #like damn. ive always known that im pretty prone to depression but ive preetty much always been aware of that #my mom is a chronic depressive so i know the symptoms i know the signs i have a pretty good arsenal of healthy coping mechanisms #UNFORTUNATELY mommy's mental health problems did not help her not abuse me as a child #so i ended up being a terribly anxious kid who was constantly being screamed at and told i was overreacting (because i was. because i had #a severe anxiety problem that was making me react irrationally.) to everything all the time #which is you know. it is VERY difficult to deal with a mental health problem when you arent aware you have a problem! #its incredible how much. better. my life has gotten since i figured this out and started actively trying to work out what triggers it #and being able to like. realize 'oookay. there is an Issue here and it needs to be overcome' #instead of just beating on myself constantly for not being able to do things without feeling sick or getting breathing problems! #anyways. trauma dumping in tags is over now! #house md #hilson #greg house #james wilson #stacy warner

[ratotoing]

o Sol e a Lua

#lmk #lego monkie kid fanart #lego monkie kid #shadowpeach #six eared macaque #sun wukong #sun wuking x macaque #me when #me when i didnt see the season3 special cause the site that put pt/br subitlites are in hiato #and then i remember #that i am one of the same people #old art #trannas art #i belive they would NEVER be like this but also who cares #they are like #fuck you (i love all your being despise you being a piece of shit) #brasil #brazilian artists #artistas brasileiros #artists on tumblr

[kuzunoha-xiv]

much to think about........

#while looking through old fandom posts i saw people joke that smokey looks like their lovechild and i cant unsee it now #i think they would be absent fathers but in the ''being around my kid would put them in danger because of who i am'' kind of way #and when you consider smokey ended up at the iacon hall of records...far away from the real danger... #like i Know in canon they didnt know him when he showed up on earth but. imagine. #if i knew how to write i'd write a fic about this lol #optiratch #smokescreen #transformers #samael.txt #shitpost #<- kinda #''sam are you implying you found out about Those TF fics'' yep! #i did not expect TF of all things to have so many of them. not judging btw i was just surprised

[turtletoria]

look at my sketchbook boy

#turtlearts #wordgirl #wg #becky botsford #dr two brains #steven boxleitner #my ocs #heehee last page is my brain blorbos!!!!!!!! finally!!!!!!!!!! #the tired one is named elise and the mustached one is named pranav. for now bc im persnickety #ok who am i kidding theyre just rehashed versions of frankenstein and boxleitner. im sorry #i love me some mad scientists and this time i have free reign #also im so happy with becky's hair now #i got really frustrated with how i was drawing her hair because it just didnt make sense to me #so i looked up a reference for curly hair with headbands and now she looks so adorable i dont think i can go back #i quite like how her hair looks now and its fun (and easier) to draw!

[atomicengineerdetective]

I've been watching Hazbin Hotel in prime. Just watched episode 5 and I gotta ask

Why, oh, WHY DON'T I SEE MORE PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT "MORE THAN ANYTHING" WHEN TALKING ABOUT THE HAZBIN HOTEL MUSIC???

Like I get it, the song before it "Hell's Greatest Dad" Is a bop reminiscent of other music from the era its parodying. I loved it.

BUT why are you only putting clips of that song when this MASTERPIECE comes a few minutes after

I honestly don't even know where to begin with this song. The visuals are beautiful, especially when we get moments like this where you can just see the absolute LOVE this man has for her daughter is so sweet and Heartwarming I just-

The voices are fenomenal but what else can you expect from the broadway talents of Erika Henningsen and Jeremy Jordan.

There is also the whole Symbolism with passing the baton to the next generation and stuff. I- I can't even get into the specifics right now Im too emotional.

But above all else THE LYRICS

ESPECIALLY THAT LAST ONE

"I'M GRATEFUL YOU ARE MY DAUGHTER/FATHER MORE THAN ANYTHING"

DO YOU WANT ME TO CRY?? CAUSE I AM. I AM BAWLING MY EYES OUT RIGHT NOW.

It's just so fucking beautiful man. Probably the best song I will hear all year. Obviously my favorite from Hazbin.

#Call me Sir Pentious cause Im crying like a baby over here. #WHY HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING THIS GEM FROM ME. THIS ABSOLUTE DIAMOND #I didnt even mention lyrics like “I've been dying to find out who you are. looks like the apple doesnt fall far.” #“You are a part of who I am” “you are the only thing worth fighting for” that just BREAK ME #but oh well #BTW of course I was gonna watch and become obsessed with Hazbin Hotel. I am a theater kid that loves animation. It was like meant for me #could do with a little less obsenities but thats alright its a staple of the show #On another note I almost went insane when I found out lucifer was Jeremy Jordan. #Like its insane how that man always ends up in my obsessions. Newsies. Tangled the series. The Death Note Musical #(Im team L btw in death note but GOD Jeremy's singing made me reconsider for a milisecond in Where's the justice he is just THAT GOOD) #Erika I knew from the mean girls musical which I also deeply enjoy #its Insane the Talent this show brought in. my theater kid heart is ELATED #Last thing is I gotta say I LOVED Lucifer #Like I thought I was gonna hate him because everyone was talking about charlie's daddy issues #I thought he was gonna be neglectful and manipulative #BUT NO. He is a silly (little) father who just loves his daughter but doesnt know how to show it #And had DREAMS and AMBITION and fate in humanity. And he is just such a fun character to follow I had such a riot with this episode #Hazbin Hotel #charlie morningstar #lucifer morningstar #charlotte morningstar

[taaalia]

i have made so many drawings of yeet and killa and the worst part is that NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THEM ARHEHAA🗣️🗣️💥

but anyways when have i ever cared about that

#killa redisigb we stay winning!! #i just didnt wanna draw that sorta jacket her old design had.. so #i have more for the record #these are the finished ones #dndads #dungeons and daddies #yeet bigly #killa demall #i heart them #shoutout to those two people who saw these before i posted them u know who u are💥 #and shoutout to zillylilguyz whos one of the people i just mentioned and got me completely cooked on the mtf/ftm killa and yeet #i am on such a posting roll today!! thats so crazy dude #second post todya #oh yeah btw this is probably not thwm as twelve year olds if it wasnt obvious #idk i dont know how to draw kids #actuallt i just realised i think i might be drawing yeet with an eyepatch in the wrong eye.. #who careeesss

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

There is an entire category of superhero that became a superhero because they wanted friends and I find it truly hilarious that the Young Avengers, arguably some of the most badass heroes in Marvel, all joined the team because they were lonely

#kate bishop #hawkeye #young avengers #iron lad #billy kaplan #teddy altman #eli bradley #cassie lang #loki #america chavez #you can try to argue this with me but please know i am not interested in changing my mind #'iron lad needed help--' did he tho. or did he need friends. #his suit literally became friend shaped when he left #'kate was popular--' kate is a weird rich kid that does not mean she had friends #eli is maybe the only one who didnt need friends because he already had them #also venom #wolverine #'logan doesnt like people' then why does he continue to hang arount the xmen #batman

[blobbei-art]

Anyone else thought that must’ve just been kind of mean from Descole’s POV

#professor layton #descole #desmond sycamore #emmy #emmy altava #azran legacy #art #my art #fanart #i KNOW she technically didn't say all that in this scene. and shes supposed to have Luke grabbed #but consider this: i didnt want to draw all that for a joke #anyway i keep fucking thinking about this because descole must've been so fucking pissed hearing about emmy's backstory #descole @ bronev: AM I A JOKE TO YOU #imagine this random person telling you your dad was a better dad to her than he ever was to you #he left u when u were 10 and you thought 'i guess he got kidnapped and turned evil and didnt have time for kids' #and then you hear that he took in a new kid #but never fucking came back for you #great job bronev #shoutout to anyone who gets the reference of the pose in the second pic

[demadogs]

i always say i dont want a book to have a screen adaptation out of fear of them doing it dirty and then i think of the most perfect casting ever for the main character and im like FUCK now i wont sleep until i see this happen

#yes im still thinking about walker scobell as simon snow and i will not stop thinking about it for years #look at the last gifset i rbd TELL ME THATS NOT JUST FIFTH YEAR SIMON SNOW #i read carry on when i was SIXTEEN and i am not exaggerating i have been trying to cast simon for the last 8 years #ive had some pretty solid options for baz but for some reason simon has been so hard to find #but this kid oh my god he fits him so perfectly hes such a great actor but also he just looks exactly like how simons described #just give him a little more freckles and moles and that is simon snow #and percy and simon are very similar characters so i COULD NOT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT i lost it when he fought the chimera with a sword #im so attached to carry on ​i would be absolutely DEVASTATED if it was adapted terribly so ive always said i didnt want any adaptation #BUT FUCK WALKER SCOBELL LITERALLY IS SIMON SNOW AND NOW I WANT IT AAAAH #SOMEONE PLZ TALK TO ME ABOUT THIS SOMEONE ELSE HAS GOT TO BE INSANE ABOUT IT TOO #now im gathering pics of every kid actor i want for each character and im putting them next to each other like theyre action figures #might make a post about who id cast for everyone i have so far #DEFINITELY will if someone asks me to #walker scobell #simon snow #carry on #snowbaz #books #books and reading #booklr

[apllsauc]

apll gets attached to another pathetic wet cat emo twink, more at 6 stone belongs to @zeddyzi , go watch ramshackle right the fuck now /nf /silly

#any ramshacklers in chat #I adore all three of the kids so goddamn much #I was just very happy with this stone sketch so I rendered it #no but seriously I am unfortunately not immune to emo boys #I've been getting into stardew with the new update too #guess who's my favorite. #ofc its the fuckin emo loser and the cute little shadow monster #my taste is predictable as fuck GHHJHJHJ #also didnt realise i drew stone smoking on 4/20. hehe nice #ramshackle #ramshackle fanart #ramshackle stone #apllart