Tav: So. Who broke it? I’m not mad. I just want to know.
Karlach: I did. I broke it…
Tav: No. No, you didn’t. Astarion?
Astarion: Don’t look at me. Look at Gale.
Gale: What?! I didn’t break it.
Astarion: Huh. That’s weird. How did you even know it was broken?
Gale: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken!
Astarion: Suspicious.
Gale: No, it’s not!
La'zel: If it matters, probably not… Shadowheart was the last one to use it.
Shadowheart: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!
La'zel: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Shadowheart: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, La'zel!
Karlach: Alright let’s not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it, Tav.
Tav: No. Who broke it?
Gale: [whispering] Tav, Wyll’s been awfully quiet…
Wyll: Really?!
Gale: Yeah, really!
…
Tav: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now, they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
Prof. Sharp: So... who broke it? I'm not mad. I just want to know.
MC: I did. I broke-
Sharp: No, no you didn't. Mr. Gaunt?
Ominis: Don't look at me. Look at Garreth.
Garreth: What? I didn't break it.
Ominis: Huh. That's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
Garreth: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
Ominis, squinting: Suspicious.
Garreth: No, it's not!
Sebastian: If it matters, probably not, but Poppy was the last one to use it.
Poppy: Liar! I don't even brew that crap!
Sebastian: Oh, really? Then what were you doing by the inventory earlier?
Poppy: I use the weighing scales to measure out beast feed; everyone knows that, Sebastian!
MC: Ok, ok! Let’s not fight! I broke it, let me pay for it, Professor!
Sharp: No! Who broke it?
Garreth, leaning in: ...Professor... Natty's been awfully quiet.
Natty: REALLY?
Garreth: Yeah! Really.
Natty: For Merlin's sake!
*group starts arguing*
Sharp, to the faculty: I broke it. My leg bumped into the shelf, and it fell. I predict ten minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
*looks back at the group that continues to argue*
Sharp: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
Alastor: So. Who broke it? I’m not mad. I just want to know.
Charlie: I did, I broke it-
Alastor: No, no you didn’t. Angel?
Angel: Don’t look at me! Look at Husk!
Husk: What? I didn’t break it.
Angel: Huh. That’s weird. How’d you even know it was broken?
Husk: Because it’s sitting right in front of us, and it’s broken!
Angel: Suspicious.
Husk: No, it’s not!
Pentious: If it matters, probably not, but Niffty was the last one to use it.
Niffty: Liar, I don’t even drink that crap!
Pentious: Oh, really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Niffty: I was using the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticules, everyone knows that, Pentious!
Charlie: Let’s not fight, I broke it, let me pay for it Alastor.
Alastor: No! Who broke it!
Husk: Alastor? Vaggie’s been awfully quiet.
Vaggie: Really?!?
Everyone starts fighting
Alastor, doing a cutaway: I broke it. It burned my hand so I punched it. I predict 10 minutes from they’ll be at each other throats with war paint on their faces and pig heads on a stick.
Alastor: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
By golly, I was reading the secret admirer stuff, and all I could think of was the "Who broke it" meme, with Yuu being the one to write the love letter in the first place. I know that's not the case (I saw the poll!) but thinking it like that made me giggle.
LMAOOO THATS SO FUNNY
Imagine Yuu being fully aware that everyone is crushing on them and making this entire scheme because they're chaotic evil?
Yuu: So. Who wrote it? I’m not mad. I just want to know.
Azul, trying to make it his chance: I did. I wrote-
Yuu: No, no you didn't. Sebek?
Sebek, trying not to freak out: Don't look at me. Look at Silver.
Silver: What? I didn't write it.
Sebek: Huh. That's weird. How'd you even know it was written?
Silver: Because it's sitting right in front of us and the whole college knows.
Sebek: [leans in on him] Suspicious.
Leona: If it matters - probably not - but Ace was the last one writing.
Ace, laughing nervously: Liar! I could never write such crap!
Leona: Oh, really? Then what were you doing in the library earlier?
Ace: I go there to hide from Riddle's chores; everyone knows that, Leona!
Azul: Ok, ok! Let’s not fight! I wrote it, let me take full responsibility, Yuu!
Yuu: No! Who wrote it??!
Jade: [trying to stir up drama] Yuu... Jamil's been awfully quiet.
Jamil: REALLY??
Jade: Yeah! Really.
Jamil: Oh, my God! [everyone starts arguing at one another]
Yuu: [explaining the meltdown of the school to Crowley] I wrote it. None of these quacks have yet made a move on me so I created competition. I predict ten minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
*broken communication device lays on the floor*
Eruhaben: So… who broke it?
*silence*
Eruhaben: I'm not mad. I just want to know.
Choi Han: I. Did. It. I. Broke-
Eruhaben: No, no you didn't. Raon?
Raon: Don't look at me, look at Hong!
Hong: What? I didn't break it!
Raon: Huh, that's weird. Then how did you even know it was broken?
Hong: Because it's right in front of us, and it's broken!
Raon: *glares* Suspicious.
Hong: No, it's not!
On: If it matters – probably not – but Lock was the last one to use it.
Lock: What?! I can't even use magic!
On: Oh, really? Don't you regularly train with the Dragon Lord, the greatest master of magic?
Lock: I'm only learning the shield arts from her; everyone knows that, On!
Choi Han: Kids, don't fight over this! I. Broke. It. So-
Eruhaben: No! WHO broke it?!
Hong: *glances at Rosalyn* Eruhaben… Rosalyn's been awfully quiet.
Rosalyn: *gasps* …REALLY, Hong??
Hong: Yeah, really!
Rosalyn: Oh, my God-!
*everyone starts arguing*
Eruhaben: *smirks at Cale and whispers* I broke it.
Cale: …What?
Eruhaben: *shrugs* It zapped my hand, so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats and going full out with their weapons and abilities on the training field.
Cale: *stares at Eruhaben in disbelief* Why?
Eruhaben: *sips tea with satisfaction* It was getting boring around here.
Cale: … *extremely scared for his life*
Jason: Huh, that’s weird. How’d you even know it was broken?
Tim: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken.
Jason: Suspicious.
Tim: No, it’s not.
Duke: If it matters—— probably not. But Steph was the last one to use it.
Stephanie: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap.
Duke: Oh really? Then what were doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Stephanie: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that Duke!
Dick: Okay. Let’s not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it.
Bruce: No.
Bruce: Who broke it?
Tim: Bruce… Damian’s been awfully quiet lately.
Damian: Really?!
Tim: Uh, yeah, really.
[Indistinct arguing]
Bruce: I broke it. It burned my hand so I punched it. I predict 10 minutes from now, they’ll be at each other’s throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
Everyone is standing around the broken teapot
Annabel: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
Everyone:
Morella: ...I did. I broke it.
Annabel: No. No you didn't. Duke?
Duke: Don't look at me. Look at Lenore.
Lenore: What?! I didn't break it.
Duke: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
Lenore: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
Duke: Suspicious.
Lenore: No, it's not!
Montresor: If it matters, probably not, but Ada was the last one to use it.
Ada: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
Montresor: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Ada: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Montresor!
Morella: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Annabel.
Annabel: No! Who broke it!?
Everyone:
Lenore: Annabel...Prospero's been awfully quiet.
Prospero: rEALLY?!
Everyone starts arguing
Annabel, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.
Annabel: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
Annabel:
Annabel: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
@avidcollectorofdust @yiga-hellhole @mister-heart @scribbly-z-raid @appeypie @laniardraws @renthehuman @asklordghirahim A bunch of different Ghirahims from across the multiverse argue over who broke it. Credits to all the people I just tagged, love your Ghirahims btw!! (Also if I forgot to tag someone let me know)