#who has time for that like rly honestly

[aphsillyos]

his default recall is so cool..........

#not me arts tag #ive never used his default skin so i didnt even know what it looked like until now....ough #i wish u could mix and match sounds or recalls with skins................ #i honestly forget half the time hes supposed to be like. Cool and Suave and a Competent Badass #because my brain is always like. god hes so small and floppy and will die if you breathe on him wrong #also hes always crying and breathing heavily in my ear so im just like. poor guy #he should be at the bed taking a nap not fighting....... who made him fight.... stop that he doesnt belong on the battle field #he might be a badass hitman or smth but my brain is like #this is just a sad theatre kid who took gymnastics #''aphelios how is your assassin training going'' aphelios who has only been reading the acrobatics textbook: my what #is there anyone still reading these tags. hi there #i have a lot of thoughts on him. im very obsessed with his animations #like he has a laugh animation for every weapon....... #all the various weapon animations... #maybe the real reason we wont have a legendary for 10 more years is all the animating they have to do #i mean his base animations are so good id honest be like OK if they reused them #cant rly do much better than already Top Tier animations #unless we get an alune legendary..... #hope alune is super awesome and badass and all the aphelios voicelines are a really shy awkward guy or smth #like you look so cool and awesome fighting and the whole world doesnt know ur listening to a lil guy in your brain the whole game #the contrast would be very funny methinks #if anyones still reading this. yes i know riot made up some reason about budget or whatever for voices #but i choose to believe aphelios is head empty no thoughts and thats why he doesnt talk to alune #(STILL GOOFY OF A REASON... lots of VAs can do both genders of voices.... like. what about kindred and kayn....) #then again wouldnt be surprised if they were overbudget on the animations but still smh my head into oblivion #can relate to a guy who simply doesnt wanna talk #(said after 10000 tags of talking to myself) #i should really put my thoughts onto a separate post or blog or something #anyways have i mentioned i think hes really cute

[toastsnaffler]

in a hilarious turn of events my flatmate didn't even know I use any pronouns....

#i thought when she was talking abt how her parents thought i was gonna come out as trans and kept checking my name/pronouns- #that the joke was that im ALREADY trans but in ways they dont know abt.... but nope she genuinely didnt know 🤭 #to be fair. i dont rly let anyone in on my gender business unless we're close enough to be dating or its an anonymous online space #like im legally cis and thats fine. idc abt ppl using my name + she/her bc thats not my gender identity its just AN identity that i use- #to navigate the world without ppl being fucking nosy bc i pass as + am sociopolitically treated as a woman (if butch lol) #to ppl who are friends ill joke that my gender is dyke (true) and to friends whose gender falls on a similar spectrum- #or who are transmasc ill talk a little more honestly abt it bc theyre usually able to understand better than anyone else #other butch dykes w a weird gender going on are the only motherfuckers who actually Get It but theyre hard to come by tbh #to be frank i dont fucking know whats going on w my gender. and i dont rly care enough to do the introspection to figure it out rn #i have so many other problems in my life and im lucky that most of my beef w gender can be solved by presenting butch + binding #and using any pronouns around other queer ppl. its actually incredibly funny to me when ppl she/her me bc its like tch. this chump hasnt #unlocked my level of gender yet. pronouns and names in general are so far disconnected from the way i exist in the world... #its just smth thats fun for me to play around with + makes me feel weird sometimes but in ways i havent distilled yet yknow #and this has been my approach to gender for like?? 4-5 years now??? and likely will continue to be for a long while.. #anyway. its not actually that surprising my flatmate doesnt know bc shes cis so ive never felt compelled to have a deeper conversation #abt gender with her. but also i could sweeaaar its been mentioned bc almost all our other friends are trans lol #and also ive been introducing myself at queer sports socials w any pronouns and i swear i talked abt that w her..... whatever #and my pronouns are on discord and shes def seen my tumblr before but maybe i didnt have them in my bio at the time... i digress #i kind of prefer cis ppl she/hering me tbh. theyre not able to they them or he him or whatever else me in a way that matters..... #altho i do find it fascinating when she or other ppl elect to use neutral or masculine terms for me. raising an eyebrow and taking notes #like when she got a job and joked abt me being her househusband.. pulling up the fem/masc tally chart and chalking a line up #a la nona the ninth.... ive been trying to figure out whos inhabiting this body my entire fucking life with no luck girl #ANYWAY just smth to think abt. im so tired i think my brain is gonna start seeping out my eyeballs #im gonna watch some more pluto and read and then -> 🛌 #another 6:30 start tomorrow woohoo #.diaries #zzzzz

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

Honestly though, this (what Ashe is pointing out) is exactly why I don't think GW could possibly end well. There's no "talking it over" after all the bloodshed (especially bloodshed started by them, and especially bloodshed started by them that didn't have to happen).

The way the narration leaves it "open" too at the end of GW just comes across as "it failed". It feels like... a kind of pointless story?

And I know some people might think that since Dimitri personally isn't as deeply affected by losing Matthias and so might be willing, that's still no good if his people and closest allies aren't. Rodrigue and Sylvain wouldn't be so forgiving, and I do think Dimitri would follow suit because that's his father (Rodrigue)'s closest friend and one of his own closest friends' father.

Add that to the fact that they have Sreng to deal with still (and I imagine sooner or Sylvain would figure out that Leicester had a hand in provoking Sreng to attack Faerghus) on top of losing Matthias and I imagine all the stress and aggravation wouldn't bode well for Leicester as far as Claude's thinking of things working out goes.

I just really can't see where GW goes afterward that would be "good" or works in Claude's favor at all. Maybe that was the intention and it was meant to be a route with a completely tragic ending, but apparently there are players who think it would end well and whatnot and I just can't see that happening (both from Faerghus' end and from Adrestia's end, the latter of which Claude discussed within GW itself).

If their intention was for a totally tragic ending, like yeah, I can see that... but as always the writing muddies the waters to make it sound good while something bad is happening. It keeps trying to have a positive spin on bad things as if they're just afraid to commit to a fully bad ending.

#DCB Three Hopes Run #also to be specific the reason I just call Rodrigue his father outright is bc he refers to him as a “second father” in Houses #but I'm not gonna literally write “his second father” every time I mention it and honestly “adoptive father” doesn't work for me either #bc him being an adoptive sort of parent doesn't make the fact that he /is/ a parent to him any less valid #like a parent is a parent and I don't feel the need to point that out and the feeling is mutual between them #if Rodrigue is literally calling him ''my boy'' it's a pretty cut and dry parent/child relationship #obviously I'm using Houses context in this case but it's still accurate in Hopes #and I just can't see losing Matthias going over smoothly at all and things getting better with time #I mean Matthias is such a major player in Faerghus and so important that I just can't see them being like #well it was only /one/ important bigwig who died. like no it was one important bigwig saving a whole lot of lives #who is also very intelligent and has a deep say in politics. that's ofc not counting #as Ashe says here in AM in reference to Adrestia that they've killed so much on both sides bc of the war #that he can't imagine just sitting and talking now. just because we as players only saw one named character die #and just because that character wasn't a playable character nor a returning character we already knew and loved #doesn't mean hundreds if not thousands more didn't die in Leicester's invasion #like Ashe says here I just don't see how both sides could sit and talk after all that #esp since Sylvain would prob be involved and uh... Sylvain is... a very emotional and angry person #and extremely vengeful (and they rly leaned into that side of him in Hopes in all routes) #I canNOT imagine talks with him involved not getting heated and aggressive #and he'd /have/ to be there bc he's the Margrave now in GW. if they want to have important talks like that #they need all their major players which like even if Felix say wasn't there #Rodrigue has basically equal authority as Felix bc Rodrigue has the respect of experience and has proven himself #so they could be swapped out for talks and Felix being the ''official'' Duke wouldn't affect talks in the least #if Rodrigue was/had to be present instead. with Sylvain you've either got no other options #or you've got Miklan who I can't imagine would want to even get involved with all of that #both bc of his mixed feelings on Matthias but also bc he's been out of the political atmosphere for so long #so yeah I uh... can't... see talks ever going well unless Claude legitimately makes amends somehow #or Houses Claude gets in there smacks him around and fixes some shit before heading back to his own verse lol

[surreal-duck]

hi!! i just wanted to say that ive liked midoyuzu since i was like 14 and its been a few years since then (obviously) but seeing your midoyuzu art now is so!!! its so fulfilling to my past self who had like NO art to go off of, i guess? anyway! your art is super good and i love it so much <3

im glad omg? extremely late to the party but by god i am bringing snacks in here or die trying o7 was pretty baffled the first time finding out more abt their dynamic and looking them up on here to find maybe like two more recent posts and the rest from no sooner than 2017 or so askjdghsjkgdhjks but really THANK YOU!!!!!!!! happy to be of service to your inner 14yo somewhat ;v;

yknow what though the really funny thing is that i wasnt even that into them initially. just remembered that cute interaction at the end of xmas live and thought "huh these two r kinda sweet actually" and that curiosity is always a slippery slope into genuine investment and by god is tripping into it a favorite pastime of mine

#if i had to say tho honestly these two were both the last ones of their units i managed to get attached to properly #yuzuru has definitely become my fav of fine though but my actual rst fav is kanata LOL #also finding out yuzuru likes to draw in general is everything to me you go you funky master artist #cute critter line took me out back w a metal chair why r they so. auhhg #actually my good friend who got me in here Knows i was actually on track to becoming an ibyz liker but then. anvil fell comically on my hea #before i knew it theyve taken over almost every corner of my brain get them out!!!!! get them out!!!!!!!! #and i was already a ryuseitai fan and enjoyed fine casually but oh. oh god im a yuzurup too now arent i goddammit #SORRY THIS BECAME A RAMBLE UM. THANK YOU VERY MUCH! #asks #anonymous #sometimes i forget that their actual interactions probably amount to no more than 6 or 7 times in canon and the rest is just in my head #that and i just think its rather nice for both of their characters to get along!! romantic or platonic #really sweet to see midori so pumped up and passionate about the things he loves and yuzuru getting thrown off his rhythm of the always #perfect butler who resigns himself into the background most of the time. theyre just having fun!!! silly guys #and yuzuru rly does enjoy art and nonsensical doodles even if people generally find it horrifying midori loves them wholeheartedly its. yea #okay im still rambling. ill shut up now i havent slept properly in a bed in nearly 48 hours i should go do that

[dykeinthedark]

venting in tags about gender n shit (long as hell) (u can comment and talk 2 me as always :3)

#okay so i got a really masc haircut about a month ago and i know it's just a haircut but holy shit has it changed EVERYTHING for me #like.... i've always leaned masc except 1) before i came out 2) when i was actively in love with someone who i knew liked femmes #and they always described me as a fem. because that's what i showed her. because i wanted to be with her. #but lowkey whenever i'm in a not-impressing-anyone raw-dogging-life-no-crush era i always resort to a very masc style #like masc being my default and i'd only lean fem to impress people whether it's for love or peer pressure in a specific setting #like ''dressing up'' has always been a form of drag to me. like something i HAD to do to fit in or impress my parents (scott favor core) #but ever since this haircut i've realized... i could just BE masc innately like i really don't have to be womanly if i don't want to #which i usually don't. again i have only ever dressed fem for other people. but it's not even being masc that attracts me on its own #it's like. being masc in a distinctly lesbian way. as in whenever i look in the mirror i don't wanna be like a Guy i wanna be a dyke. #like lesbian as a gender identity too sort of thing honestly. okay i've been waffling but basically i sort of want to call myself butch #but i don't know if i like... can?? if i'm allowed to??? #everyone always says it's MORE than just wearing boy clothes and not wearing makeup and having short hair (which i already do all those) #i mean i've always id'd as genderqueer because it literally just means gender weird and i experience gender in a queer way #what's probably the most telling is that my friends (all queer) CALL me a butch lesbian #like every time they do i feel really internally validated. it's not just my clothes but my personality too ig is what people tell me #i have a higher pitched voice relatively speaking but apparently the way i talk is quote ''very clockably into women'' #which?? gender euphoria asf. my best friend specifically he (gay trans guy) always uses butch to describe me very intuitively #people have also noticed that i ''transitioned'' in all aspects except hormonally. like ppl have commented and noticed my masculinzation #but at the same time i always feel rly haunted by my ex relationships because one wanted me to be more masc #(she's the one who came out as straight and would treat me like a man) which i didn't like and i didn't like playing up being fem either #bc now it feels like she (butch) won't believe me if i called myself butch too bc she remembers me being femme #idk i feel like there's her voice in my head all the time that sees everything i do through her eyes (i'm lowkey still in love) #i feel like even though this comes so naturally to me i must be putting on a performance #even though i've actually read stone butch blues and done research into the history and i truly love and id with the culture like i rly do #that im still just a sad imitation of a butch lesbian and can never really be a part of it because i used to enjoy dressing up sometimes #like it's so stupid but can i still be butch if i wore a dress to prom and i think i looked good in it?? #even though i was envious of my friends who wore suits?? that i used to try goth makeup?? that i liked long dresses?? #that i enjoyed stacked necklaces and rings on every finger??? #and tbh ALL OF THAT CAME FROM A CONCIOUS EFFORT TO FEMINIZE MYSELF IN JUNIOR YEAR OF HIGHSCHOOL WHEN I WAS 16 #because omfg it was 2 months before junior prom and i was worried that i was too masc and wanted to get comfortable with being fem

[kaynkali]

insane that stardew pc is at 16.4 or whatever and theres still not even an idea of when 16.0 will be on consoles. kind of ridiculous imho

#txt #if it was just bug fixes ok but theres apparently more new content like #concernedape can you pls focus on getting console players the update bc this is rly honestly kind of insane #i personally never understood this in modern era like... why would you want one demographic of player to have to wait #to play your updates bc the longer the wait is the less likely i am to wanna go check it out when it finally hits consoles #not in a malicious way but more in a. im going to forget and no one who plays stardew is gonna be like #OMG 16.0 CONSOLE RELEASE bc its. not. new. its not new anymore by that point #i have NEVER seen anyone post excitedly abt the console updates and now i see why #YES I KNOW HES ONE MAN. EVEN MORE REASON TO WAIT TO LAUNCH THE UPDATE AT THE SAME TIME #BC NOW HE HAS PC PLAYERS AND BUGS AND ALSO CONSOLE PLAYERS ARE STILL WAITING FOR THE 16.0 LIKE ????

[girlwithfish]

like when he asked how im doing he didnt like my response i guess and it turned into an argument which is so weird like its so easy to just ask how u can b there for the other person or say some simple bs like ur doing ur best but it turned into an argument... red flag fr

#all i said was im not doing the best but im getting by etc and then he said some weird stuff abt how he feels hes contributing #and then i say im just in a weird place but im working thru it its just a rough week and then he gets kind of accusatory towards me for some #reason saying he cant just sit there and watch me ruminate or all this stuff thats like a drastic exaggeration it feels? Idk #Like the one time i had a moment last time i saw him was too much for him i guess and thats fine but #i dont like how he exaggerated and also twisted what happened tbh. like acting like i sat there for hours upset or smth is really odd #like if its too much for him thats fine but i dont like the reframing and acting like all i talked abt is how im 'not over my ex' its just a #gross misunderstanding or misinterpretation of what i mactually going thru #which doesnt really affect him That much honestly. imho like #its not like i just sit there and cry or am upset i dont really go to him for emotional support or rely on him he doesnt have to do that #much for me in terms of support IMO. obv ik #being w someone whos been abused blablabla can b a lot but it feels weird when he seemed understanding initially in the beginning and #knew what he was getting into #and just exaggerating abt me is kind of annoyinggggg #nah hes done😭 #were just not a good match and i dont think hes very emotionally mature and #also in general not equipped for a relationship like. shit car barely showed any care for me when its only been a month got too comfortable #w me never rly has taken me out has no food at his place like get it together 😭IDK

[ozlices]

watched the kdrama celebrity over the last few days. was hooked from the first few seconds bc the EDITING in the show, & just the cinematography in general is on a whole nother fuckin level, man.

also, just. a really great show in general. v good at building suspense & throwing loops & very nice themes/takeaways. also just a rly interesting way to convey those themes/takeaways.

i think the only issue we had w it was the romance, but. eh. it wasn't so bad that it took away from the ample amount of good shit in the show.

def recommend it!! especially to anyone who really enjoyed the glory bc it has v similar themes.

#mine #celebrity #celebrity kdrama #i think it's definitely a v interesting & SUPER fucking relevant for modern times exploration of jealousy in the modern age #it definitely felt v cathartic in a lot of ways for someone who has so much trauma surrounding jealousy being aimed towards me #& it resonated too as someone pursuing content creation #idk how the instagram grind is at ALL. ive literally never used instagram properly & rly have zero cares to. #but. all of the shit portrayed still resonates in any field of content creation #& i think its overall message of the dangers of modern jealousy in the digital age & esp the hatred in can create were done rly well. #i wish i could make it universally required viewing honestly. esp bc it's like. the message of not just the average person #but specifically ppl even in ur own circles can turn on u at the drop of a hat for such superficial shit these days. #ive heard a LOT of content creators sharing v similar experiences to ones portrayed in the show. esp the holier than thou attitude. #it def comes across as the creator did research or even has experience w these things themself bc damn. it's accurate. #and once again. THE EDITING IS SO FUCKING GOOD MAN #THAT OPENING SCENE I COULD WATCH FOREVER IT'S SO DAMN GOOD. AND SMOOTH. AND THE OP?!?!?!? BANGER!!! #id recommend it for the editing alone honestly #it's just a nice bonus that it's also just a genuinely rly great show that i think is important to watch #esp if u consume a lot of content creators online or are one urself. #much to think abt and analyze. reflect on. def opened our eyes a lot.

[iwantyoursexmp3]

i went through a magazines archive of (monthly) issues this year -- common hobby of mine -- and the same writer was in at least 5 issues and i'm just like....sorry that is weird to me! not the being published by the same mag multiple times part but to be in nearly half of a magazine's year of issues is so??? do you as an editor not want some variety in the people you publish lol

#idk i just think that many in a small space of time at some point you have to be like hey we should give space for someone else #honestly...as someone with not a lot of pubs its offputting to me because i don't see an intention on the magazine's side #to make sure they're publishing a variety of voices + taking the chance to uplift new writers #i absolutely agree with mags that have a 'cool off' period for writers they publish before they can submit again #to give space for others + some variety #even magazines who don't like....do you not feel weird submitting so soon after?? #like i would have a self imposed cool off period #the two mags that accepted me this year i absolutely love and would submit to again #one has a cooldown period but i won't submit to them again unless i have something i rly feel would suit there #one doesn't and its a mag that publishes one story at a time so its great for a writer to have a moment where all the eyes are on them #so i would rather enjoy my moment when it comes and then sit back for a while so others can have it you know #anyway i looked at their 2022 archive and the same writer was there multiple times too #that's suspicious. that's weird. and bare in mind each issue is like 9 stories #to so frequently give one of those 9 spaces to the same writer for whatever reason is a litmag red flag FOR ME

[sixzeroes]

another rant bc it’s still 5am and i still hate reddit. why did i stay up all night reading reddit posts? idk, they’re kinda interesting ngl. ok thank u i’ll sleep now

#nabitxt #this one is about the ppl saying nct dream is sm’s weakest group / nct’s most lacklustre group 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 an insanely INCORRECT opinion #vocals? yeah nct dream are the weakest in sm no denying that ;; but they have great individuality and musicality which makes them very #valuable vocalists imo. their technique is subpar for sm but they all work and mesh tgt rly well which benefits them imo #rap? my dude they have mark - like sm’s best rapper ever. after mark there’s jeno who’s like nct’s 4th best rapper and we all know ncts top5 #rappers are sm’s top5 rappers LMFAO so bam markno alone outraps every non-nct sm group which automatically drags them out of the ‘weak’ #category. and lets not forget jaemin; he’s a good idol rapper and is def better than most of sm’s lead rappers too. honestly hes probs on #par with most of sm’s main rappers that aren’t from nct 😵‍💫😵‍💫 again ; weak where? rap? in sm? no. so incredibly wrong! #dance? JISUNG. GOD JISUNG. jisung and mark may not be sm’s strongest main dancers but they are certainly some of the strongest in nct. top5 #for me! and lets take into consideration their entire dance line. imo dream minus jaemle are in nct’s top10 best dancers - maybe i’m #biased but then again many ppl also rank jeno haechan very high in terms of dance within nct #and honestly renjun is insanely good ppl just don’t know bc he’s hella underrated and gets like no centre time despite being a lead #jaemle also aren’t the worst dancers in nct either and both are actually very strong dancers ; jaemin especially is good and chenle is #amazing for holding his ground against baby shinki + renjun (he’s so prodigy love chenle) #nct dream arguably has one of the best dance line ups in sm #just bc their main dancers aren’t on par w other sm main dancers doesn’t mean their dance line isn’t on par with other sm dance lines #the dance line is not just one main person LOL #idk how else to explain it but nct dream is very much not sm’s weakest group nor nct’s most lacklustre group (no unit lacks either) #just bc dream is weaker in vocals doesn’t mean they’re weaker in every aspect LOL kpop is not just vocals just bc it’s sm doesn’t mean a #group’s talent is based solely on vocals. rap and dance are a huge part of it too #n e way sorry i’m so dream biased i can’t help myself

[miserye]

the dudes around me w phds are weirdos

#chatterye #untoasted rye #my advisor is such a silly dude who yolos a little too hard #man rly said no no it's fine just trust me #i'll take care of it HELLO?? SIR IT DOESNT WORK LIKE THAT #apparently now it does tho he rly said just submit it it's fine he the dude reviewing your app knows and trusts me it's fine i'll answer the #questions he has it's fine you're all good to go #and my boss was grilling me at work the other day #and he rly said no no we can teach you to drive #no i promise it's fine we'll teach you #yeah no just ask we can teach you we will teach you to drive rye if you want just ask no yeah we'll teach you #i was like YOU WANT ME TO ASK MY COWORKERS TO TEACH ME HOW TO DRIVE??????? #and my other course related profs are in such niche fields they're so weird #i'm surrounded by weirdos this is great. #also my ochem ta is such a weird dude too i know too much about him now and he's only gotten more bizarre as time goes by #he's got some piping hot tea to share all the time i'm incredibly invested #it's not fine. #this college has been an experience and it's honestly not horrible i'm not mad

[arolesbianism]

Y'know there already is such a nonexistent market for oni art in general so the fact that I wanna draw more au art is killing me. Like I draw for fun and don't need notes to be happy with a piece but also I need ppl to view my art and be curious and ask questions because while I may not desperately need approval I do desperately need excuses to gush abt the things I like

#rat rambles #oni posting #Im thinking abt the rabbit au clones again #in particular the two main nails clones I love them sm theyre so silly #we have guy shaking and crying while internally actually being rly relieved and guy smiling and laughing while being plagued by the Horrors #I should probably give them nicknames but idk what would work best #but yeah the older one is the one whos chip got damaged and is stuck pumping them full of stimulants and hasnt slept in 3 months #and the younger one has been spending the past three months spending day and night at gravitas working their ass off #it wasnt until they got hit by a rly intense wave of fatigue that they were finally pushed into actually going home to rest #at which point the older one was like yo whats up I didnt expect that to actually work lol #things are initially very chaotic after that since younger nails just found out a Lot and older nails didnt rly have a plan for this #they were basically just finishing up a project a past nails clone started since they had nothing better to do #at first it was because they were hoping it could maybe disable their own malfunctioning chip but as the days turned into weeks they #swiftly realized that even if it could disable their chip its probably already far too late for that to save them #and even if the months of no sleep didnt basically instantly take them out there would still be a half broken neural chip in their brain #which likely already had caused complications that they just havent noticed because of the everything else going on #so while they still finished up the project it became a much more half hearted ordeal that they honestly werent expecting to work #but evidently it did leading to the awkward experience of explaining to someone that they're a clone #younger nails hadnt necessarily suspected anything to that degree but they had noticed that smth was off #which is part of the reason they spent so much time working in an attempt to ignore it #so the revelation actually helped somw things click into place and while it wasnt good news by any means it was kind of a relief in a way #not in the sense that now they are in active danger of dying at any time but yknow #they both die eventually ofc but yknow at least they get to be povs of sorts #I mean not much they could do to do anything abt their situation even if one of them wasnt basically doomed to slowly die already

[bffjohnny]

social isolation my worstie!!!

#forcing myself to go to a work event later in the month as an excuse to leave the house. #but im so over this.. but at the same time idk how to get out. #like i honestly dont think i have a single irl friend. #partly my fault but at the same time i just dont feel like close enough to anyone. #and i dont want to invite myself to things bc i feel like im intruding. #and then if i ask people to hang out plans tend to fall through most of the time. #or its just a tentative we should catch up do xyz sometime. #dont even get my started about romantic relationships... #the guy i last hooked up with has a gf now. #the one guy friend i had is back with his gf who hates me so he stopped talking to me. #probably doesnt help that we almost hooked up a few months ago when they were on a break. #:))))) #ive come to the conclusion im going to die alone and unhappy so thats fun. #rly should attempt to find a therapist but therapy also scares the shit out of me #bc every time ive been open abt what im thinking or feeling it gets invalidated or im judged for feeling a certain way #lola speaks #ngl i just wanna go apeshit as a coping mechanism which is not a good thing but at least its something

[inchidentally]

.

#don't want this to reach ppl who pit them against each other/discourse etc so keeping in the tags #but esp considering how strong oscar's rookie season has been it's honestly not the end of the world that he struggles right at the end #esp bc it's rarely been his fault it's other cars and inserting debris into him lol #and on tracks that are new and aren't suited to the current car #but extremely important that lando had this 2nd place today bc mentally he has been struggling SO much even with great performances #I absolutely think having an age equal as a teammate will long run have worked wonders for lando but he's someone who needs time to adjust #so like for me this is the result that's best overall #oscar is so proud of lando and so balanced about his own season #and lando won't spend the offseason fretting over what could've been #I'm just rly excited about the twinklaren relationship and what it means for the team sorry just very emotional

[sunscall]

there's a reason why my macdennis posts r all about domestic shit bc i like them in the same way i like loustat. toxic and evil and domestic husbands that ruin each other there's hate there's love and they can't rid the other they r OBSESSED etc etc. my charmac posts on the other hand r all like chaotic besties!!! cat <3 mac 4evrrrr which can be seen as me just liking their friendship but tbh what im rly aiming for is childhood friends to lovers here. i mean im mainly into charmac as friends more than im into macdennis as friends but. have u considered romantic charmac too can u pls consider romantic charmac pls pls pls

#speaking of. wheres my mac successfully babytrapping dennis arc #i mean he kinda tried to do that in dennis' second life but it flopped #skill issue fr #dennis would resort to that when mac gets a bf and it would actually work so truee #charlie and mac r angsty to me tbh eventho i dont talk abt the angsty and toxic part as much #bc i enjoy the chaotic shit more but like. #charlie and mac only had eo for the longest time and suddenly charlie has to like. Share mac #that must have been so :( #but romantic ch4rmac is rly something bc i dont think they would even realise it #like charlie probably made mac realise he wasnt that str8 #and they mightve been each other's first kiss and shit #and then they just. brush it off #but like everyone keeps calling them out on their gayness and it's like. ok lets move pass it #i honestly see the romantic ver of them as a something happens and im head over heels moment #like an oh moment yknow #like waaait this is the guy who has been w me for the longest time huh..... #that being said i rly love both ships sm tho like im usually not a multishipper but i like them sm so... whatever #me talking to the wall #random

[avo-kat]

isnt it funny how when you tell people certain things bother you they dont take you seriously and then when you get an actual diagnosis from a medical professional proving that the things bothering you have a proven medical basis they still wont take you seriously because you shouldnt use your diagnosis as an excuse and try to get better anyway so you can never win actually

#or TIL some people SUCK and they wont stop SUCKING no matter what all u can do is simply stop contact honestly #sorry im in a real mood today #im just annoyed and keep stewing in past shit that has bothered me but i could never properly express or explain #its funny cuz i always thought myself as smbdy who knows myself and my feelings etc rly well #but it took getting to 30 to realize thats wrong #like if smth happens that bothers me #i need at least one business day to process it to be able to understand and talk about it #which doesnt work w ppl who immediately need to talk things thru #and get annoyed if u dig up “old history” #and immediately demand explanations #ugh blehhh ok i guess it all leads back to shitty ex #bleh #even if a partner isnt obviously abusive #constant “low key” disrespect can mess you up MAJORLY over a long time