#who is he? obviously nobody. and also many in one. and also a gun just trying to love

[dykementality]

who are you?

fernando pessoa, the book of disquiet | richard siken, crush | clarice lispector, água viva | clarice lispector, the passion according to g.h. | clarice lispector, the hour of the star | fernando pessoa, i am the escaped one | fernando pessoa, the book of disquiet | richard siken, crush | clarice lispector, água viva

#who is john silver? well a writer. a secret. a profound disorder. a monster and a person. a wanted soul #who is he? obviously nobody. and also many in one. and also a gun just trying to love #today i offer you content that specifically caters to myself. tomorrow? who knows #john silver #black sails #bs meta #dan #black sails edit

[meownotgood]

fired / hayakawa aki

Aki never thought he'd find himself falling for a subordinate, but stranger things happen when you're a devil hunter. At least being the boss has its perks.

pairing: hayakawa aki x fem!reader

word count: 16.9k

tags: 18+, smut, office sex, smoking, drunk flirting, blowjob, fingering, power imbalance, spit kink, teasing & dirty talk, dom aki but he lowkey a switch, suit kink...?

this work contains explicit content intended for 18+ individuals. please read the tags and do not interact if you are a minor.

Ugh… I really screwed up this time.

You swore your shoes were filled with rocks as each step you took brought you closer and closer to the destination you'd been dreading. Honestly, to say you screwed up didn't even begin to scratch the surface of the current predicament you now found yourself in. Perhaps what happened could have been excusable if it was your second, third, or maybe even fourth screw up, but this had to be the seventh or eighth time you've botched a mission. You know it's bad when you can't even remember the exact number. 

At this point, reporting to your bosses office only to get chewed out was such a regular occurance that someone should consider adding it to your job description. You were dreading each and every step because you knew you were about to get scolded by that asshole like nobody's business. 

Aki Hayakawa. Lieutenant of the Public Safety Devil Extermination's Special Division Four. Although most people saved the mouthful and just called him Lieutenant. He's a talented devil hunter who was known for being particularly ruthless to any devil he came across. In short, your boss and said aforementioned asshole. 

Okay, okay, maybe calling him an asshole was a bit overdramatic. Aki isn't a complete dick, he's just a bit stern with a rather short fuse. He's obviously good-natured at heart and wants the best for all of his subordinates. He always makes an attempt to be reasonable, but if you give him even the smallest amount of back talk, that's when he'll get pissed off. If you don't follow his orders, he'll get pissed off. If you get in the way of his goals, he'll get pissed off. And if someone were to find a way to constantly inconvenience him by messing up every single mission they were assigned… yeah, he'll get real pissed off at that too. 

Initially, Aki was lenient with you. The first time you came back from an unsuccessful mission, he brushed it off as a pretty excusable mistake. The second and third time, okay sure, maybe you were just on an unlucky streak. After four, five, eight whole times? I mean, it wasn't unreasonable for him to assume that you weren't even trying at this point. 

It doesn't make any sense. All the missions he's assigned should be something you could handle as easily as you've done in the past, but recently, something always seems to go wrong. The third time, you were only supposed to be fighting one devil, but a horde of them suddenly showed up out of nowhere and overwhelmed you. The fifth time, you were on reconnaissance for a gun devil piece, but despite searching for it all day, you were unable to come up with anything, not even a remotely promising lead. Why have you been so unsuccessful as of late? Was the explanation really just unluckiness? 

Yet, no matter how many times you return from a mission with nothing, Aki still faithfully sends you out on another one. You don't want to disappoint him or cause trouble, really, you don't. You've always strived to do your job to the best of your ability because Aki is the last person on the planet you'd want to trouble or let down. 

You've never been particularly chummy with your employer, but you always felt a certain connection to him from the beginning. Just like Aki, your entire life had also been turned upside down by devils; seeking revenge for the friends and family members who were horribly ripped away from you was the entire reason you became a devil hunter in the first place. It's not difficult to understand why Aki does what he does, why he's so strict, and why he's so driven. The more time you spent with him, the more you began to understand him in that regard. For the first time in your life, you were glad to follow someone's orders. If it meant helping Aki, you'd gladly hunt devils until your arms and legs fell off. All you ever wanted was to impress him and maybe take a bit of stress off his shoulders. 

In many ways, you looked up to Aki. His dedication was admirable and his skill as a devil hunter was evident. He did everything with precision and careful planning, but he was intelligent and knew how to use his resources in any scenario. He also obviously had impressive physical abilities. Sometimes he would have boxing matches with hunters from other divisions and every time, he would come out on top against the competition. In many ways, he was the type of devil hunter you aspired to be. His praise meant more to you than anyone else. 

You're stirred from your thoughts when you find yourself finally reaching the doors of Aki's office, instinctively raising your knuckle to knock at the door. Shit, you didn't even think about what you were going to say and now it's too late because you've already knocked. Time to make up some excuses as you go and hope he's not in too much of a bad mood today. 

"Come in." 

The second you've pushed open the door, you're hit by the suffocating smell of cigarette smoke constricting your lungs. It only gets worse once you step inside Aki's office, closing the door behind you. All you can do is feebly wave smoke away from your face and try your best to hold in your coughs. 

The man himself is sitting behind a large wooden desk, legs propped up and crossed casually on top of it. His attire is his usual work uniform: suit, slacks, and hair tied up to show off his earrings. He's tilted back far into his chair, smoking a thin cigarette, exhaling the smoke towards the ceiling. If you weren't in such a bad position right now, you'd ask him to at least consider opening a window if he's gonna smoke inside. 

You stop about three feet or so from his desk, straightening yourself up to attention and standing with your arms crossed behind your back. It wasn't clear whether or not he even noticed you because his eyes never left the ceiling, but finally he spoke through a mouthful of smoke, breaking the silence. 

"So, what's your explanation this time?" 

Oh great. He already sounds fucking pissed. 

You were starting to get used to the smoke at this point, so you take in a deep breath, attempting to calm yourself a little before you speak, "Lieutenant, I tried my hardest to exterminate the devil as you requested, but I was overpowered. It was much more crafty than I anticipated. I thought I would be able to handle it but-" 

"Clearly you weren't able to handle it. You almost got yourself killed and I had to dispatch someone to come save your ass again, further wasting my time and theirs. All of that effort just for a devil I could have killed in two seconds flat with my eyes closed." 

Alright, so that's how he's going to be today. You can feel your fists clenching in anger as you attempt to maintain your composure. You feel horrible for disappointing him, sure, but the least he could do is not talk to you in such a mocking tone, or hell, at least look your way. All the while, Aki has been staring into the distance, not even showing you the respect of a passing glance. 

"Well, I'm sorry Mister Hayakawa, but I'm not you. I tried my best, and it's not my fault the devil ended up being way stronger than anticipated." You grit your teeth and stare daggers into him. 

"Everything is 'way stronger than anticipated' for you these days," Aki says between the cigarette in his teeth, making air quotes with his fingers, "I can't assign you anything weaker. If you've given up, Division Four is no place for you, so why don't you just move to the civilian sector?" 

"I haven't given up!" You blurt out, pulse rising and anger suddenly getting the best of you, "I'm trying to be useful to you, I'm trying to help you, I'm-" You trailed off, your burst of energy short lived as it was swiftly replaced by a wave of dread washing over you when Aki finally turns and meets your eyes. His gaze is sharp enough to cut right through you. 

Aki pulls his cigarette from his lips and sighs deeply. His legs fall from the top of his desk and he swivels in his chair until he's facing towards you. 

"I don't know what's going on, but it doesn't matter what you say to me if your actions tell a different story. This is the last time I'm going to say this, but you need to start shaping up, otherwise I'm going to have no choice but to transfer you," His eye contact is unwavering as he puts out his cigarette on the ashtray resting on the desk. "And what do you mean by trying to help me, anyways? I don't need anyone's help, especially not yours." 

Especially not yours? What the hell was that supposed to mean? You can't contain your eyes from rolling into the back of your head. Your pre-established composure is quickly breaking, but quite frankly, Aki is pissing you off and you don't really care. 

"What's wrong with my help? I'm not incompetent so stop treating me like I'm some kind of idiot." 

"I'll stop treating you like you're incompetent when your results start showing a bit of competency." 

"I told you, it's not my fault! I was fine before you started assigning me all this shit! You want results but you keep sending me on missions that lead nowhere. You have to know you're giving me this crap, right? You're such a dick to me for no reason, I mean-"

You cut yourself off with a gasp when Aki's fist suddenly slams hard against the desk. 

"Why don't you shut the fuck up and start showing some respect?" Aki's jaw clenches as he speaks, and he hunches further forward in his chair. "Who told you that you could talk back to me?" 

Ah, you went too far. You can't say you're surprised that you ended up getting into an argument, but it's not exactly the outcome you were hoping for. It's fine, he's right, anyway. Talking back to your boss is totally unacceptable. Even if he's the one who gave you the stupid missions, you're still the one who ultimately failed them. If you were stronger, if you were more like him, you wouldn't be in this situation right now. 

You sigh in defeat. "I'm-" 

"You're fired." 

Your breath catches in your throat, "Excuse me?" You were about to apologize, but you couldn't even finish the first word in your sentence before he interrupted you. 

"You heard me. You can go now." Aki waves his hand at you nonchalantly as if he's shooing you away before his attention is immediately dragged away from you. He leans back in his chair once more, pulling a cigarette from his pocket and sticking it between his teeth. 

You want to say something, but time is frozen in place and you just can't manage to pick your jaw up from off the floor. You know you pissed him off, but did you really piss him off enough to make him fire you? Did you really screw up that badly? Transferring you to another sector was one thing, but firing you was a whole different beast. It's completely unheard of, he's never fired anybody before, ever. And to hell with you being the first. "You can't do that."

"Just did." Aki strikes his lighter until there's a flame, bringing the cigarette to life. His expression is unreadable as he takes in a long drag before his eyes meet yours. "What are you still doing here? Get out." 

"Sir, please, this is ridiculous. I'm sorry for making you upset, okay? But don't you think firing me over a disagreement is a bit much?" 

"I said get out." 

"Will you at least tell me why you're firing me?" You cross your arms tightly over your chest. "Besides, do you even have the power to do such a thing?" 

"First of all," Aki takes another long drag from his cigarette before he continues. His eyebrows are furrowed and the hand that isn't currently holding the cig is clenched tightly on his desk. "Yes, I do. I have the power to do whatever the hell I want with you. Second of all, you're fired not because of your performance, but because you won't stop fucking arguing with me. I'm not going to tolerate your clear lack of respect."

"I wouldn't have to argue with you if you weren't such an asshole." Probably shouldn't have said that one, but it's too late. 

"Get. Out."

"Aki-"

"That's Lieutenant to you, brat."

You take a deep, dramatic breath in to pull yourself together. Alright, it's okay, you can do this. There's no reason to panic, you're not gonna lose your job. Aki said it himself: he's not firing you because of your performance. He's just throwing a fit right now because you pissed him off. All you have to do is find a way to calm him down, reason with him, and maybe suck up to him a little. You can do that much, even if you have to bite your tongue until it bleeds in order to do so. You straighten up your posture. 

"Lieutenant. I'm sorry." 

"Sorry for what?" Aki raises an eyebrow, his fingers drumming against the surface of the desk. "Cause personally I don't think you're all that sorry."

"I'm sorry for being disrespectful. It's inappropriate for me to talk back to my boss. Please, is there something I can do to make you forgive me? I'll do anything to get my job back." 

Aki brings a hand to his chin, rubbing it as if he's in deep thought and resting his head on his elbow. A slight smile begins to grow on his mouth between the cigarette. "Anything, huh?" 

It was a rather stupid question that Aki already knew the answer to. Of course you'd do anything. Of course a brat like you would argue for your job back, and of course someone as dedicated as you would do anything. That's what he liked about you. 

"Uhm, yeah. Anything." 

Of course you'd do anything for him. Finally, he's got you right where he wants you. 

"Yeah, there's one thing you can do for me."

"And what might that be, sir?" Your mind whirled with possibilities, but trying to think of a realistic one had you turning up completely blank. When you said you'd do anything, you weren't really thinking about what that might entail. The main reason you said it was to plead your case. What the hell could he possibly want from you, anyways? Judging by the look on his face, you're almost certain he's going to mock your stupidity for thinking there was some way to appease him before promptly asking you to leave again. 

"All you've done since you've got here is ran that fucking mouth. I'm so tired of it," Aki's eyes remained locked on yours, his smirk growing more prominent. Yeah, you expected him to say something along those lines. 

"So why don't you come over here and get on your knees so I can shut you up a little, hm?" 

Oh. Oh. Now that's one thing you never would have expected him to say. 

"I beg your pardon?" You choke out, absolutely bewildered at what the bastard had just said to you, "What the hell's your problem?"

"My problem is you don't fucking listen to me. But I've got you listening now, haven't I?" Aki sneers, puffing his cigarette. His pissed off look from earlier has been completely replaced with one of total confidence, like he already thinks he's won. He cocks his head at you, letting out a little chuckle in amusement when you don't reply. The look of disbelief plastered all over your face and the light flush growing on your cheeks is priceless. 

"You want your job back, don't you?" Aki crosses his arms behind his head, leaning back far into his chair. "I think you're in need of some discipline. Someone around here has to teach you how to be professional and respect your superiors. If you can prove to me that you're going to be obedient from now on, then you can have your job back. That's all there is to it, really."

Professional? Professional? Really? Forget teaching you how to be professional, he's the one who just said the most unprofessional thing a boss could possibly say. 

Your hands feel clammy as you struggle to form sentences simply unable to come. If someone told you this was a dream or the setup to a shitty porno film, you'd definitely believe them, but no, it wasn't. Your boss really suggested something so detestable and is now staring at you with the most expectant, smug grin that you would do just about anything to slap off his face right about now. 

If you can prove to me that you're going to be obedient from now on, then you can have your job back. That's all there is to it, really.

What a joke. Does he really think you're stupid enough to believe that? If anyone else was in this position right now, you bet Aki would never suggest something like this. 

Your mind begins to wander when you start trying to pinpoint where all of this came from. Why would the one man who you knew to be all business and no pleasure 99% of the time suggest something so indecent? Aki's never been unfriendly with you, but he's never been super friendly either. Well, that was all besides one night. You always thought he viewed you as simply another one of his subordinates, but one night caused you to second guess your opinion. You started to think you weren't just a subordinate to him, and maybe he actually had feelings for you. 

You recall the last time you went out drinking with Aki and the rest of Special Division Four. It was about two weeks ago, right before your recent string of bad luck. To be honest, you only agreed to go because you felt obligated when they invited you. Special Division Four had just been recognized as the most successful division in the prefecture, hence the cause for the occasion. Therefore, everyone was going out for a drinking party, and that meant everyone, even the ones who didn't normally attend. You threw on whatever you could find, spruced up your hair and makeup, and reluctantly dragged yourself out so you wouldn't end up as the one lame person who didn't show. 

Your intention was to show up, have a drink or two and maybe chat with some co-workers, and then excuse yourself before it got too late. All you wanted to do after an exhausting day of work was go home and relax, not go out and party, so the sooner you could get out of there, the better. Unfortunately, your plan crumbled when you were unable to take your eyes off of your boss for the entire night. 

Of course he would be there. I mean, everybody was invited, after all. And what kind of boss would he be if he didn't attend his own division's celebration? It was obvious he would be there, and yet, you couldn't help but be taken aback when you saw him. Drinking parties weren't exactly your scene, and based on Aki's professional demeanor, you expected it wouldn't really be his, either. It was weird to see him in a place like this, and even more surprising, it was super attractive.

If you were being completely honest with yourself, you were always into Aki. He was definitely handsome and definitely your type. However, he was your boss, and your stubborn dick of a boss at that. Any hope of wanting something with him was out of the question. 

In this setting, though? He didn't feel like your boss anymore. In this casual environment, it was much easier to forget that Aki was your boss and you were his subordinate. Here, he was just Aki. 

Speaking of Aki, the very second you walked into the party he spotted you, almost as if he was watching the door and waiting for you to show up the whole time. He waved you over to the tables the division was occupying, and with a couple of tables filled, everything was quite bustling. Once you noticed his waving and started making your way to the tables, he stood up, motioning for you to follow him. He led you away to the bar, which was still in sight of the party but far enough away that there was much less noise. 

"Uhm, did you need me for something Lieutenant?" You asked once Aki stopped in front of the bar counter. 

"No, no, of course not. I just wanted to talk somewhere quieter," Aki said with a nod of his head before calling the bartender over, then turning to you. "And I was going to ask if you wanted something to drink." 

"Oh, yeah, I uh…"

Now that you had a chance to look at him, you were a bit distracted. Aki's hair was tied up in a loose ponytail and instead of his work uniform, he was wearing a much more casual outfit. When he wasn't dressed to the nines in a suit, you could begin to notice how he was quite well built, with broad shoulders and muscular biceps. He was constantly straining himself fighting devils, so it wasn't unreasonable to assume he had a nice physique, but since you never saw him like this, it was a little surprising. He was standing so close too, close enough that you could smell the faint scent of cigarettes and fancy cologne on his clothes. 

"...Okay, one draft beer for you sir. And for you?" 

Oh, the bartender was talking to you. You tore your gaze away from Aki. 

"Ah, I'll just have a beer as well. Thanks." 

"And put both of those on my tab." Aki piped up. The bartender nodded in response and walked away to prepare your drinks. 

"Wait, Lieutenant, you didn't have to-" 

"Hey Hayakawa!" You were interrupted by someone shouting from the division tables. You and Aki both turned around. "We're all about to take shots! Get over here!" 

Aki sighed, turning back to the bar when the bartender approached and placed two glasses on the counter. He took one glass of beer and pushed the other one over to you. "Sorry, we'll talk some more later, okay?" 

"Oh, uh, alright." You replied awkwardly, grabbing your glass of beer and taking a sip. You could hardly believe Aki's sudden friendliness right now. 

"By the way," Aki turned to leave, but before he did, he leaned in to speak quietly into your ear, "There's no need to address me so formally. Please, just call me Aki."

Before you had a chance to form a response, he was already gone, quickly disappearing in a swarm of people and leaving you to stand at the bar. 

Please, just call me Aki. 

That's Lieutenant to you, brat. 

In hindsight, were you even talking to the same person? 

Eventually, some of your co-workers found you at the bar and dragged you back into the action. They invited you to sit at their table which was unfortunately not the table Aki was at, but it was close enough that you could see him. Close enough that you could listen to him talking, weaving through conversations with confidence and a certain cool-headed allure. Close enough that you could admire him laughing, relaxing and enjoying himself. Close enough that you could watch him top off shots, head thrown back and Adam's apple bobbing in his throat after each one. Close enough that when he stretched, lifting his arms all the way into the air, you were able to catch a clear glimpse of his abs underneath his shirt when it rode up. 

God, when did he get so charming? 

You decided this was starting to get a little too unreal for you and it was probably time to take your leave. As much as you didn't want to ditch Aki, especially after he promised the two of you would talk later, you were not about to stick around and face the realization that you had a crush on your boss, of all people. You downed your second beer of the night while pondering how many Aki must have drank at this point. You weren't sure how many he had before you showed up, but since you sat down, you've counted two beers and three shots of vodka, so he ought to be a little tipsy. 

You got up to leave once you were finished, but a voice, Aki's voice, called out your name. When you turned to him, he was staring at you with the most genuine, soft smile, a light blush painted on his cheeks. "Hey, wait, don't go." 

Oh my God. His smile had your heart melting and you knew you were fucking doomed. 

Aki patted an empty spot next to him, "I didn't get to talk to you yet. C'mere." 

You sat your ass right back down and immediately forgot why you even wanted to leave in the first place. You knew if you were sitting back down now, you weren't going to end up leaving tonight any time soon. Honestly though, you didn't really care. How were you supposed to resist him? Plus, you were drinking, so hey, making good calls wasn't exactly your specialty right now. 

From the moment you sat down next to him, Aki's attention was shifted fully on you. He wasn't crazy talkative which was normal, but he did make a point to include you in every conversation. If people talked over you, he asked you to repeat yourself, and if someone asked a question and you said nothing, he'd personally ask for your answer. All the while, he was staring at you to a degree that must have been obvious to anyone paying attention. 

One thing's for sure, Aki was the complete opposite of an annoying drunk. Most people seemed to get insufferable once they were wasted, but not him. He somehow became even more attractive. At work, you don't think you've ever seen him laugh, not even a chuckle. Yet here, he was laughing at anything and everything, especially at the jokes you made. 

You couldn't help but find it adorable the way he became flushed out from having too many drinks, from the end of his nose to the tips of his pierced ears. The way his words began to slur and it was clearly growing harder for him to talk coherently was a sight to behold, too. Normally, every word that Aki spoke came out of his mouth with finesse and intention. So to see him become a stuttering mess? It was amazing, to say the least. 

The biggest shock to you was how crazy touchy Aki became. At first, it was just short touches that could be dismissed as accidents, like his shoulder bumping yours when he swayed too close, or his arm brushing against yours when he reached for his drink at the same time you did. Eventually though, they got more deliberate and direct. First it was his hand resting on your thigh, then it was his arm slinging over your shoulder, and at one point, he even started playing with your hair. The conversation shifted to you wondering how he ties his up every day, and he offered to show you. 

It was odd because Aki never acted like this around you until now. All of this flirting was completely new. At work, he always treated you like the inferior subordinate that you were, so why was he suddenly being so friendly? 

As the night grew later, everything became somewhat of a blur. You stopped remembering what you and Aki were talking about a long time ago. You also stopped keeping track of drinks. You'd ordered a few more beers, but you kept forgetting about them because you were too busy talking to him. Nevertheless, it must not have been too many because you were tipsy but certainly nowhere near drunk. Aki on the other hand… you had no idea how many drinks down he was. 

Slowly but surely, more of your co-workers started to head home, and once enough of them had left, the remainder of the group decided it was getting late so it was time to pay their tabs and do the same. Once the thought of going home crept into your head, you realized how exhausted you were all along. It was definitely time to go home, rest, and get away from your thoughts. You paid for your drinks and were about to excuse yourself when Aki found you amongst the crowd. Once he was standing up, you noticed that he could hardly walk. 

"Thanks for… coming out tonight," Aki was super wobbly on his feet and even placed a hand on your shoulder to steady himself as he spoke, "You should come more often… I'll see you tomorrow. Wait… wait no, our day off is tomorrow, shit." 

"Aki… you don't have to drive, do you?" 

"No, 'course not, it's nearby so… I mean my house is nearby so… I'm walking. Yeah." His words were a slurred, disjointed mess. It almost sounded like his tongue was too fat for his mouth, making it difficult to speak. 

You sighed. Yeah, you definitely should have been paying more attention and stopped him before he got this bad. If it wasn't for him leaning on you right now, you were sure he'd collapse. There was no way you'd be able to sleep at night if you let him go home alone, it just wasn't safe. "Aki, come on, I'll walk you home." 

Aki didn't object as you led him out of the bar. You'd never been to his place before personally, but you knew the address and you were familiar with the area so finding it wouldn't be a challenge. Your house wasn't too far from his either, so after you dropped him off, you could head home yourself and it wouldn't be much of a detour. 

You walked with one arm around Aki, allowing him to lean on you so he wouldn't topple. His body pressed so close against yours was enough to get your heart pounding in your ears, but you had to keep focused. Walking with him was difficult because of how unsteady his steps were, so a trip that should have taken ten minutes took more like twenty. It felt like forever before you finally reached his doorstep. 

"Aki, hey, you awake? Do you have your keys?" 

"Huh?" Aki jerked up, startled by your voice. He was so quiet the whole way through that you supposed he was starting to fall asleep, and it seemed your assumption wasn't far from the mark. 

"Your keys," You repeated. 

Aki didn't move at first, appearing to be a bit dazed. After a few moments, he unsteadily pulled away from you and started checking his pockets with one hand while using the other to lean against the wall for balance. Eventually, he found the right one when he heard his keys jingle inside. He dug them out and placed them in your hands. "It's uh," He hiccuped, "The silver key with uh… yeah, that one." 

You squint your eyes, trying to navigate the key into the lock. You pondered how someone as careful as Aki could forget to turn on the porch light, and as if he was reading your mind, he said out of the blue, "Sorry, porch light broke yesterday." 

The combination of your drunkenness, exhaustion, and embarrassment did not pair well because your coordination was totally thrown off. The inability to see what the hell you were doing certainly didn't make things any easier, either. You were fumbling with the keys for an awkwardly long amount of time when Aki suddenly leaned his tall frame over you, resting his weight on your back and dipping his head over your shoulder. The unexpected feeling of his weight and his body pressed close to yours startled you, but you didn't tell him to move. He was probably only leaning on you so he wouldn't fall over. 

"You smell good," Aki mumbled. He was close enough that you could get a clear scent of the alcohol on him and feel his breath hot against your ear when he spoke. 

"You smell like alcohol." You blame your quick snap back at him on your slight tipsy-ness affecting your ability to think before you speak. Thankfully, Aki didn't seem to notice nor care. He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer. 

"You looked so beautiful tonight." 

"What?" You froze up, heat starting to rush to your cheeks. 

"You always are, you're always beautiful," Aki hummed, his lips grazing against your neck, agonizingly close as he whispered against your skin, "You have no idea what you do to me." 

Yep, he was clearly drunk out of his damn mind. You didn't reply, I mean, how were you supposed to reply to that? Whether consciously or not, your effort to open the door was abandoned as you drowned in Aki's lips against your neck. He peppered you with gentle kisses against your skin, his lips soft, tender, and electrifying. When he pulled away, his hand came to grab your chin, tilting your head upward and to the side. Your brain felt completely scrambled when you met Aki's deep gaze. All at once his eyes were closing, his lips were parting, he was leaning in, and you were doing the same. 

Click. 

The unmistakable sound of the door unlocking shattered the moment and you tore your head away. The sight of Aki's roommate at the doorway shook you out of your daze. 

"Ugh, took you long enough to get home." 

"Oh. Hey Denji." Aki hiccuped, promptly pulling himself off of you, but when he immediately started swaying like he was about to fall, you grabbed him by the waist to hold him up. 

"Dude. You're so drunk." Denji ascertained, finishing his sentence with a yawn. He was rubbing his eyes like he just woke up. On second thought, he definitely did just wake up. 

Aki reached for your hand, fumbling to take his keys before stumbling inside where he was immediately caught by Denji before he had the opportunity to topple over. "Thanks for bringin' him home safe," Denji said, holding up a peace sign. "I'll make sure he goes to bed." 

"It's no problem." 

Aki waved to you before Denji closed the door. "See you tomorrow." 

You didn't have the energy to correct him so you simply nodded, waiting to make sure the door was completely closed before you turned and walked away. 

Holy shit. Before, you were exhausted and ready to pass out, but now, you were fully awake. Your face felt like it was on fire as you rushed home on quick feet. Aki's words echoed in your ears and the feeling of his lips against your neck played in your head on repeat to the point where it was all you could think about. His lips were so soft, so warm, and the two of you were surely about to kiss before you got interrupted. And if you kissed, what would happen after? Would he have said more? Would it have kept escalating until you stopped it? 

There was no way you could think about it right now. You got home, threw yourself onto your bed, and willed yourself to fall asleep so you'd forget about it. You were successful in that first endeavor, but the second was a total failure. You remembered every moment in excruciating detail. 

You dreaded going to work a day later. You had no idea what Aki was going to say to you or what you were going to say to him. However, to your surprise and a bit of relief, Aki was a completely different person compared to who he was that night. Rather, it would be more accurate to say he was back to normal. He was back to being his usual uptight self. He also didn't show any hints of even remembering what happened that night. 

You decided to ask him about it when the two of you got a moment alone. 

"Hey, boss, do you remember the other night when we all went out for drinks?" 

"Yeah, vaguely. Why?" 

"Do you remember me walking you home?" 

"Ah, shit," Aki winced, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. "You had to walk me home? I apologize, Denji told me I was drunk but he didn't tell me I was that drunk. I guess I really don't remember." 

"It's alright." You shrug, deciding not to pry any further.

You felt relieved he didn't remember and relieved his roommate didn't clue him in, but at the same time, you were a bit disappointed. You were sort of hoping he'd tell you more about his feelings. Could he have actually meant what he said or did he just say it because he was wasted? How much did he remember? I mean, he was totally flirting with you prior to when you walked him home, so there must be some of that he remembers. And how much was a deliberate action and how much was a drunk slip up? 

There had to have been a reason why he was acting so friendly towards you the whole night. The eye contact, the touching, the flirting. He didn't act that way around anyone else, so the logical conclusion would be… 

You were suddenly pulled from your daydreaming and straight back to reality when the sound of Aki loudly clearing his throat filled the air. "Are you going to keep standing there like a deer in headlights or what?" 

Ah, that's right. Your current predicament. You had been standing there zoning out for God knows how long so you almost forgot. You met Aki's gaze. He had long since finished his cigarette at this point and was busy stamping it out, staring at you with one eyebrow cocked. 

Aki was practically living in your brain since that fateful night, but as of late, you haven't had much time to fawn over him. It's kind of hard to find any time for fawning when every recent interaction you've had with him has been him assigning you a mission and then going on to scold you for failing said mission. What he just proposed to you had jogged your memory, though. 

Were you really hoping for there to be something more between you and your boss all along? You didn't have a crush on him, did you? Hell, even if you did, why would you ever do something like that? 

You swallow, your throat becoming increasingly dry and constricted with anxiety. "Aki- I mean, Lieutenant. Is this really necessary to get my job back? And… Can you be more clear about what you want me to do? I think I got the wrong idea." 

"Come on, do you need me to spell it out for you? Or are you just trying to waste more of my time?" Aki suddenly sits up straight, snapping his fingers and pointing down in front of him. "If you want your damn job back, come over here and suck my cock. Is that clear enough for you?" 

His voice is so sultry and his words are so dirty that they immediately give you butterflies in your stomach. Yeah, you heard him right the first time. And yeah, he really was so unprofessional. You're not given much room to think when Aki starts tapping his foot against the floor, a subtle warning of how impatient he's becoming.

"I- I couldn't…" You stammer out, desperate to say something, anything. Your face feels hot and you wouldn't doubt it was as red as a tomato right now. 

"Listen, I don't have time for this. If you're not going to be compliant then leave. This is your last chance and you've got five seconds to decide." 

Seriously? Only five seconds? 

"Five."

Oh great. He's already counting down. 

"Four."

You grit your teeth. You really can't lose your job, that much is true, and that much you've decided on. You swore to kill devils for the rest of your life when you became a devil hunter, and you'd be a fool to give up on your dream so easily. 

"Three." 

Aki was attractive and you had a crush on him. It was time to give up the pointless charades and admit the truth. You could only dance around the subject for so long. He was your boss, yes, and he could be a total asshole, yes, but denying how you feel would lead you nowhere. 

"Two." 

Aki was attractive, but he was especially attractive when he let go for a change. Once his professional persona crumbled, he became a completely different person. You wondered what he would be like when those cracks started to show, when he could no longer contain himself, when his emotions were finally brought to a head. You wondered what he was like with his clothes off, if he was big, what he tasted like, how he would feel in your mouth. 

"One." 

You have no idea what you do to me. 

Aki's words echoed inside your brain. He was right, you didn't have much of an idea. But you wanted to find out. You wanted to watch Aki come undone. 

"I'll do it." 

You scoffed, massaging stress from your temple, "I'll do it okay? So stop with the counting, it's so immature." 

"Atta girl," Aki said with a confident smile, snapping his fingers again and pointing to the door, "Lock the door first, then come over here and get on your knees for me." 

Good thing he remembered that little detail, because you totally forgot. You walked over to the door on shaky legs, swiftly locking it before making your way over to Aki. Suddenly you were in front of him, lowering down to your knees, and the realization of what you were about to do was hitting you just as hard as your heart pounding in your ears. Aki chuckled, and you half expected him to tell you this was all a prank and you were dismissed, but nope. 

"I've never seen you this nervous before, it's amusing." 

Yup, this was really happening, but if it was happening, you were going to make the most of it. You could do this. Once you were in control of his pleasure, you were going to have the cocky bastard falling apart and begging for you. 

"Pay attention," Aki's command cut through the tension in the air. You were fully on your knees now and he was staring down at you, his expression poker-faced but his eyes filled with lust and longing. His tone was stern and demanding when he spoke again, "I can tell your mind has been drifting elsewhere. I want you to pay attention to me and only me from now on, understand?" 

"Yeah, yeah," You reply nonchalantly, reaching for his belt. 

You're interrupted when Aki grabs your face, forcefully tilting your head up so you have no choice but to look at him. His grip is iron as he leans down so his face is much closer to yours. 

"That's not how you address your superior. It's, 'Yes, sir', got that?" The volume on his voice is lowered, but the tone is stern all the same. You nod weakly and his grip loosens. He leans back in his chair again, eye contact never breaking. "Show some fucking respect." 

"Yes, sir," You reply seriously this time, biting your lip to keep your composure. If he plans on having an attitude the entire time, this is going to be much more difficult than you thought. Aki's hand finally disappears from your cheeks and you go back to what you were doing before, reaching for his belt. 

You undo his belt quickly, tossing it aside before moving along to his pants. You unzip them, pull them down to his thighs, and almost choke on your own saliva when the first thing you see is the huge tent in his underwear. You bring a hand to it hesitantly, earning a loud sigh from Aki when you begin palming him through his briefs. How the hell was he so hard already? 

Aki will probably reprimand you if you continue teasing him like this, so you decide to stop and move your fingers to the hem of his underwear. You take a deep breath. All you have to do is focus on the task at hand, just as Aki told you. All you have to do is remind yourself that you're about to suck off Aki, not your Lieutenant. Not your cocky, infuriating, notorious asshole of a boss, but the sweet, charming Aki that you had come to know several nights prior. That's who you had a crush on, and that's who you were doing this for. 

You pulled down his underwear and bit your cheek so hard you were sure it was bleeding when you were met face to face with his hard cock. First impression: there was no way all of it was fitting down your throat. You swore you heard the slightest snicker from Aki, probably entertained by your reaction and the clear look of embarrassment on your face. You brought a shaky hand to the base of his cock, slowly dragging it up the length, all the way to the tip which you rubbed with your palm. 

Aki exhaled deeply, but surprisingly, he didn't say anything. Not like you were complaining, it was nice when he kept his smug mouth shut for once. You pumped your hand only a few times more before bringing your lips to his head. It was already dripping with so much precum. You planted a soft kiss on the tip, feeling his cock promptly pulse beneath your lips, before taking the entire head into your mouth. Your eyes screwed shut and when Aki groaned in approval, you will yourself to take more of him in your mouth. 

His cock wasn't even halfway down your throat when Aki's hand came to your hair. He ran his fingers through before gripping at your scalp and pulling back hard, forcing your head to tilt up and look at him. The sudden movement made your eyes flutter open and you were certainly not excited to be greeted with Aki's pissed off face staring down at you. "Don't close your eyes. I want you to look at me while you're sucking me off," He said with a swallow, voice resolute, "Nod if you understand." 

Your plan was to avoid looking at his stupid face at least until you were more comfortable, but of course Aki was going to make you do the one thing you were trying not to do, whether he was aware of it or not. You really wanted to protest but with a mouthful of dick that's a little difficult, so you nod reluctantly, forcing yourself to keep your eyes on him. Aki smiled, and just when you thought he couldn't get any more irritating, he opened his mouth again. 

"Good girl."

Why the hell did you agree to do this again? 

After that comment, you're not sure how you managed to push past your embarrassment and continue, but you did. Your tongue set flat against the bottom of his cock and you took him further into your throat, stopping a little over halfway when you felt like you couldn't take anymore. You started to pull back but a firm press against the back of your head kept you in place. Aki gave you an expression containing the slightest amount of annoyance. "No, take it all the way." 

You whimpered, looking at him with eyes that were trying to say, "I can't," but of course, he didn't get the hint. Instead, he pressed even firmer against the back of your head, forcing you further down, cramming his cock in your mouth past where you thought was possible. Before you knew it, tears were pricking at the corners of your eyes and he was somehow all the way in. 

Aki held you there for a while, admiring the very view he had fantasized about seeing for so long now. You felt like you couldn't breathe and drool began running down your chin. The entire time, you forced your gaze to not leave his, despite how badly you wanted to tear it away. 

"Fuck, you look so perfect with my cock down your throat, you know that? And you're being so good right now, looking at me just like I asked you to. See, it's not that hard to listen to me, now is it?" Aki reached up with his free hand, grasping his tie and loosening it a little to make himself more comfortable. His compliment makes your heart race in your chest but his arrogant demeanor is pissing you off too much for you to fully enjoy that feeling. His firm press on the back of your head finally eases up, letting you pull your head back just far enough to allow yourself to breathe. 

You stall for a minute, attempting to regain your composure, but with your throat aching, keeping calm is a little hard to do. Your senses are becoming so overwhelmed it feels like your mind has gone fuzzy. All you can think about is him, all you can taste is him, all you can smell is him and the distinct scent of his cigarettes that still lingers in the air and on his clothes. The feeling of his cock choking you and filling your throat is all-encompassing. Trying to wait any longer is a waste of time because at this point, you're never going to be composed. Plus, the last thing you want right now is to make Aki impatient. Reluctantly, you pull back slightly and then sink back down again. 

Aki groans, his head tossing back a bit but his eyes remaining fixed on you. The sight of your pretty lips bobbing on his cock, doe eyes and fluttering eyelashes staring up at him is unbelievably captivating and he wouldn't be able to tear his gaze away even if he tried. The erotic, wet sounds of you sucking, gagging, and gasping echoes impossibly loudly throughout the quiet room. "Fuck," Aki swears under his breath, the sound of you choking on his cock just turning him on even more than he already was. 

Once you start to work up a rhythm, your job gets a little bit easier. Your mouth and your chin have already become an utter mess of saliva and spit. Aki made no effort to stifle or hold back any noise he made which was a pleasant surprise. Each time you drew back with a harsh suck, you pulled an incredibly hot gasp or groan from him which encouraged you to keep going. 

Honestly, you were a bit grateful he made you stare at him, because if you weren't, you'd be missing out. You never imagined you'd be seeing your normally so collected boss like this, tie loose, face flushed out, trying desperately to remain together but at the same time, not caring if he fell apart. One of his hands threaded through your hair and the other tightly gripped his chair's arm. His chest rose and fell with each shaky breath he took in. When you sink down once more and Aki's hips roll forward, forcing his cock far into your esophagus, you feel like you're going to fall to pieces, but the loud moan he's unable to restrain goes right to your core, keeping you intact. 

"Oh my God, you're so amazing, you're so damn good at this. Don't look away from me," Aki commanded breathlessly, and although you weren't planning on doing so, your vision is becoming blurred and Aki thrusting hard into your throat is starting to be too much to handle. His facial expression has lost all semblance of its usual seriousness, instead contorted in pure pleasure. His grip on the back of your head has grown weak as he puts his full focus into what you've realized is essentially fucking your mouth. Every thrust is deeper into your throat than the last and has you choking, feeling like your mouth is going to be split open. You're unable to hold back from crying and Aki revels in the sight of tears streaming down your pretty face. 

Your jaw was aching to an unbelievable degree but you didn't dare to pull back when Aki's hips began to stutter as he lost his rhythm. He broke eye contact, his eyes shut as he threw his head back in his chair. You prayed he was getting close because you weren't sure how much more of this you could take, but Aki answered your prayers when he spoke, voice punctuated with his ragged, heavy breathing, "I'm so… Fuck, I'm so close… I want you to swallow all of it." 

You hummed in response, and the vibrations on his cock were just enough to send Aki over the edge. All of the sudden, he gasped and his hand roughly pushed you forward in tandem with his thrust inward. With his cock as deep in your mouth as he could get it, you felt it twitch before his cum was pouring down your throat. Attempting to pull away was fruitless as Aki's press on the back of your head was firm, so all you could do was accept it, will yourself to breathe through your nose, and swallow. He didn't give you a break until he was sure that you got every last drop. 

When you felt Aki's whole body finally slump, you tore yourself away, his cock coming out of your mouth with a pop. You immediately felt a heavenly sense of relief in your jaw and your throat. As you caught your breath, you attempted to wipe the mixture of tears and saliva off your face with the back of your hand. At this point, you didn't have to see yourself to know that your face was an absolute mess.

Although, even if you looked like a mess, you could probably say the same thing about Aki. When you brought your gaze to him, the first thing you noticed was the rise and fall of his chest. He was panting hard and the sound of him practically gasping for air while trying to get ahold of himself filled the room. And once you brought your gaze down, the second thing you noticed was his dick. Even though he just came, he still looked as turned on as he was when you started. 

You did it. Yeah, you could get up right now, walk away, and have your job be secured, but a rather devilish thought crossed your mind right then. You had done everything Aki asked of you perfectly, so you were off the hook. But where was the fun in that? Right in front of you was an opportunity you absolutely must take advantage of. The opportunity you had been waiting for all along. The chance to finally corner him, to finally get Aki right where you wanted him. 

Your hand came to grasp the base of his length and you felt him pulse hard beneath your palm. His entire cock was still wet and coated with your saliva. You brought your tongue to his base and began to drag it up agonizingly slowly, all the way up to the tip. Aki gasped, "Wait, don't-" His voice stuttered into a moan when you suddenly took his cock in your mouth, sucking hard, before pulling away to flick your tongue against his tip. 

"You can keep going, can't you?" You cooed, massaging his sensitive tip already leaking with precum between your thumb and index finger. Aki simply moaned in response, stuttering as if he were going to say something but ultimately failed, and you swore you saw him perform the faintest nod. You smiled, "That's it. I knew you could." 

Bringing his cock to your lips once more, you kissed the tip, then down, down further, until you were trailing wet kisses up and down his hard length. You peered up at Aki through your eyelashes and to your surprise, he was looking right at you, his face and ears coated in a red blush. The second you met his gaze, he sheepishly turned away. How cute. 

Once you felt you'd sufficiently embarrassed him, you placed a final kiss on his tip before taking him into your mouth again, swirling your tongue throughout. You could hear Aki let out a shaky breath and you continued, eyes fluttering shut as you slowly took his cock all the way down your throat. It was much easier this time now that you were used to the feeling. You pulled back just as slowly, and after his cock fell out of your mouth, you brought a single finger to his base, slowly dragging it up, and you felt his cock twitch beneath it. 

When you looked up, you were faced with Aki glaring down at you, voice stern but shaky with desire when he spoke, "Please, don't fucking tease me."

Unfortunately for him, he just screwed himself over by saying that, because the way he said please was so goddamn attractive. You wanted to hear him say it again and again. You were so greedy to see him fall further into desperation for you. 

Besides the one night you went out drinking, Aki never said please before, not to you, not to anyone. That was the one time, the only time you ever saw Aki be polite. Normally he just did what he wanted and took what he wanted. There was no need for him to be polite when he was the Lieutenant since everyone was already expected to obey his orders. But now, with you in control? Being polite is the least he could do. 

You continued to play with him, completely disregarding his request for you not to. You started up a pattern of bringing your head down and swallowing hard, forcing him to the back of your throat before abruptly falling back, kissing his tip and stroking his dick with your hand. Aki certainly wasn't helping his case much because he happened to be very fun to play with. 

He covered his face with his hands, throwing his head back again. His Adam's apple bobbed in his throat as he tried to swallow down moans. You found it adorable how he quickly became restless, hips squirming in his chair. The second you went back down on him, he'd thrust into your mouth, attempting to get some kind of relief, but you'd end up punishing him by pulling away as soon as he did so. The moans he couldn't hold back were so loud, so sweet, and so incredibly needy. When he brought a hand down to grasp your cheek, a smile fell across your face when you noticed how much he was trembling. 

Aki swallowed before speaking, his voice hoarse and dry from all his gasping and moaning, "I told you not to tease me like that." His eyes locked on to yours and the desperation he must have been feeling was plastered all over his face. 

"Yeah? I didn't hear you." You taunted, your tone only ever so slightly condescending. You continued to pump Aki's cock in your hand, taking careful attention to the tip which was so red and leaking with so much precum you were sure it must have been aching. You rubbed it hard with the base of your palm and Aki groaned in response. "Stop it," He commanded in a low voice, but much of the authority was lost when he was barely able to choke out the words. 

"Oh, so you want me to stop?" You took your hand off his cock abruptly, leaving it completely unattended to. 

"No," Aki spat out hastily, his response so fast it was almost comical. He continued to stare at you with a look of complete and utter want in his eyes. "Don't stop," He drew in one long, quivering breath, "Please." 

You brought your hand back, wrapping it loosely around his length, but before you could even do anything, Aki's hips rolled up into your palm and he whimpered from the relief. 

He kept going and you held still, allowing him to recklessly grind against your motionless hand. Now this was the Aki that you were waiting to see, that you truly loved to see. Here he was, your cocky asshole of a boss, reduced to a complete mess under you. Here he was, lips parted as he moaned softly, thrusting his hips into your hand out of desperation for your touch. It was impossible for you to tear your gaze away from him because the sight was intoxicating. If only you could snap a picture with your eyes. 

What would he do if his subordinates saw him like this? What would he do if those who respected his authority so highly saw him now? The prospect was thrilling, but there's no chance you would let anyone else see Aki like this. This version of him was one you wanted all to yourself. Nothing could top the satisfaction that you, and only you had your Lieutenant so desperate. You, and only you had one of the most revered devil hunters in the country reduced to a pathetic mess at the hands of his subordinate. 

With every thrust he took up, an adorable, breathy cry would fall from Aki's lips and it was music to your ears. When he started picking up the pace, thrusting faster, you took your hand away and he audibly whined in disappointment. "Enough, I-I can't-" 

"If you want more, hold still." 

You brought your hand back to his cock, pumping it once. Aki groaned, his hips shifting in his seat, but he was able to keep himself from moving any more than that. You stroked his cock slowly and leisurely, as if you had all the time in the world to do so. You kept a gentle, apathetic rhythm, ignoring how much Aki was clearly fucking struggling. He whimpered and squirmed every touch. You could feel his heartbeat through his dick in your hand. Searching for something to hold onto, he ran his fingers through his own hair, gripping close to the scalp. As a result, his hair was starting to come loose from the topknot, with strands falling free and covering his face.  

"Oh my God," Aki gasped suddenly, "I can't fucking take this, I need more, I-" 

"Tell me what you want." You said in immediate retaliation. 

"I want…" Aki hesitated for a moment, swallowing, "I want you."

Was he blushing? Or was his face just red from breathing so hard?

"Yeah? You want me?" You smirked, drawing your hand away from him. 

Aki nodded hastily. 

"Beg for it." 

Aki stared at you with an expression simply indecipherable. His ragged breaths became the only sound to fill the room and the only thing you had to indicate the passage of time. He inhaled sharply, exhaled shakily. Breathed in, breathed out. Once. Twice. Three times. Four times. It would seem you've reached a deadlock. 

Should you have said that? No, probably not. Did you go too far? Maybe a bit. Was it too degrading? Yeah, you were stupid to expect him to do something so- 

"I want you, I want you so fucking bad," Aki blurted out, suddenly breaking the silence. "I want to kiss you, I want to touch you, I want to be inside you. Is that what you were looking for?" 

You were stupid to expect him to stand a chance against you. It was only a matter of time until he swallowed the last of his pride. 

"I'll do anything," Aki begged. He brought a hand to his face, covering his eyes in an attempt to hide his embarrassment. "I'll do anything you want, I don't care. Just this once, for the love of God, let me fuck you." 

Anything, huh? 

"How about you give me my job back? And give me a raise while you're at it."

Aki wasn't even listening, nor did he think before he shouted, "Okay! Okay, whatever you want, I told you I don't care-"

"And say please. Ask politely if you really want me." 

"Please," Aki sighed, dragging his hand away so he could look at you. His desperate gaze pleaded harder than his words ever could. "Please let me fuck you. I need you. I really need you. Please." 

How were you supposed to resist that? 

"There we go," You said with a smile. 

The heat of the moment must have possessed you because before you were even able to process what was happening, you were pushing yourself up, leaning forward, and so was Aki. With the two of you agonizingly close, so close to connecting but not quite, you managed to sneak in one last comment before Aki fully leaned in. 

"Good boy." 

Aki completely stalled. His lips trembled like he wanted to say something, but in the end he gave up. He leaned down, grabbing you firmly by the neck and yanking you up until he met you in a rough kiss. 

His soft lips against yours sparked a red-hot fire in your chest and you found yourself pressing against him further, wanting more. You pushed him all the way back into his chair, all the way until you could climb on top of him. Even still, he wasn't close enough. You grabbed a fistful of his shirt collar and tugged him in. 

Once he felt you were comfortable on his lap, Aki parted his lips, wasting no time coupling his tongue with yours. His mouth tasted vaguely of mint and cigarettes. He kissed you with all the fervor from his pent-up emotions, with all the anticipation built from days and nights prior. It was passionate and intense with a clear-cut sense of urgency felt between your exchanges of gasps and sighs. All the while, he maintained such a strong grip around your throat that it made you feel as if you were floating among the clouds. 

Aki had been craving this for so, so long and now that he had it, it was better than he ever could have imagined. His whole body felt warm and filled with an utter need for more. You ran your fingers through his hair, starting from the base of his neck near his scalp, sending tingles throughout his spine. His topknot was just barely hanging on at this point. You were delicious, but the faint taste of himself on your tongue was like nothing else Aki had experienced before.  

His free hand trailed under your shirt, calloused palm beginning to explore your body as shamelessly as if he owned it. When his lips finally and reluctantly tore away from yours, Aki leaned in to speak into your ear between uneven breaths, his voice low and tone completely changed as he returned to seriousness. "Get up and bend over the desk." 

Oh, yeah, that's right. He said he wanted to fuck you and you agreed because you couldn't resist him. You agreed? You couldn't deny that you were really turned on, but maybe you should have thought about it more before you went ahead and made a deal with the devil, figuratively, of course. 

You felt a strong pang in between your legs when you slid off Aki's lap and only just now did you notice how wet you were, almost uncomfortably so, in fact. You caught a full glimpse of Aki as he was shrugging off his suit jacket, first meeting his eyes which were clouded in lust, then trailing your gaze down to his dick, which looked so hard it must have been hurting. Honestly, now that you were looking at it again, you had no clue how you managed to take something so big down your throat. Your mind began to wander without your control. You wanted to know what it, what he felt like inside you. You would probably feel him so deep, hitting all of your sweet spots, stretching you out and… 

Goddammit. You had fully admitted to failure once you started thinking those thoughts, but in reality, you had failed the minute you kissed him and the minute you started teasing him. Forget your dignity, forget concern for the implications or repercussions. Right now you needed Aki's dick and you weren't about to consider if you'd end up regretting it later. 

You brought yourself over to his desk on shaky legs, taking a deep breath as a way to prepare yourself before leaning over it. Aki rose as well, discarding his jacket over his chair so he was wearing only his shirt, then following to stand behind you. 

Aki snickered, "There we go. Good girl." 

Was he actually fucking mocking you? He was just begging like a dog, and now the bastard was mocking you? 

Aki reached for the zipper of your skirt, pulling it down, but instead of taking your skirt off, he opted to simply push it up to around your waist. "Do you have any idea how long I've been waiting for this? How long I've wanted this?" He muttered, rolling his sleeves up to his biceps before kicking your legs open to spread them further. "God, I've been dreaming of taking you right here for so long." 

Well, you had a bit of an idea, but Aki having feelings for you always seemed unrealistic until now. He didn't seem like the type of guy who would have feelings for anyone, let alone allow those feelings to get in the way of his work. In any case, one thing you never expected was for Aki's feelings for you to be so passionate. Your boss was always the pinnacle of professionalism. You couldn't imagine him thinking anything dirty about a subordinate, let alone you, who he was usually an asshole towards. But now, you had much more of a clear picture. Everything was just an act. Aki's cold attitude towards you was just a meticulously crafted persona, a persona that you were slowly seeing crack. 

You heard the sound of silk rubbing against fabric and then Aki's stern voice commanded, "Hands behind your back." You were curious, so you did as you were told and Aki grabbed your wrists with one hand, yanking your arms backwards. He wrapped what you could only assume was his silk tie around your wrists, securing the binding tightly with a knot. "Consider this your punishment for teasing me earlier." 

"You liked it." You snapped back, tugging at your restraints to no avail. Aki merely chuckled in response and you inhaled an incredibly sharp breath when his fingers were suddenly pressed against your cunt, rubbing you through the fabric of your underwear. 

"I think you're the one who liked it," Aki mused, his fingers rubbing slow, gentle circles against your clit, feeling your wetness through the fabric, "You're completely soaked, were you getting off on teasing me like that? I've got to say, you didn't strike me as the sadistic type." 

You held back your moans and grumbled through your teeth, "And you're saying you didn't like it?"

"Tch," Aki scoffed, drawing his hand away to hook his fingers around the waistband of your underwear, swiftly pulling them down to your thighs. "I don't like being bossed around by mere subordinates." 

"Right, so that's why you were begging like a pathetic bitch. I think that you-" You cut yourself off abruptly with a whine when Aki suddenly plunged a finger inside you, curling it upwards. 

"Hah, you're so wet, look at how easy that went in," Aki taunted, adding another finger without bothering to ask, two fingers now shoved inside you. Aki's hands were always much bigger than yours, and you were now extremely aware of how long his fingers were. They reached deep, much deeper than your own fingers could ever reach, and were rough with callouses. He moved them with the same precision and finesse he seems to carry through every facet of his life, curling them up in such a way that they pressed firm against your sweet spot every time. There was a tinge of irony to be found in the fact that Aki neglected to tease you despite how bad you had teased him. Instead he was right to the point, giving you exactly what you wanted and exactly what would leave you reeling the most. If he was this good with his fingers alone, how were you supposed to handle the rest of him? 

You bit your lip hard to stifle your noises as waves of pleasure surged through your body. You weren't about to give him the satisfaction of hearing your moans, but clearly he noticed your plight. 

"Why are you so quiet now? You can't keep your mouth shut when you're busy disrespecting me," Aki teased, sounding as confident as ever as he scissored his fingers inside you. "Let me hear you, tell me how good it feels. I know it feels good." 

"Shut up, annoying fucker." You retorted immediately. 

"You're always such a cocktease," Aki hummed in amusement, pulling his fingers out. You couldn't hold back a whimper when your cunt pulsed from the sudden absence. Aki said harshly, "I hope you know that little attitude of yours is going to disappear once I'm fucking you as hard as I want." 

You rolled your eyes, but kept quiet for now. Aki brought his fingers to his mouth and you could hear him sucking the digits clean. Your taste was sweet, and if he wasn't so impatient to be inside you right now, he'd definitely taste you even more. Maybe next time. 

Once he was finished, Aki brought one hand to the small of your back, pressing gently as he leaned over you. The other he used to grab your face, tilting your head up until he was directly above. 

"Let's do something about that dirty mouth of yours, yeah? Open." Aki ordered, tapping your cheek with his finger. You obeyed, opening your mouth hesitantly, until Aki commanded, "Wider." You did as you were told again, trying to open your mouth as wide as you could manage. 

You couldn't exactly see from this angle, but if you could, you would have seen Aki's jaw flex as he gathered saliva. Without warning, he spit into your mouth, directly onto your tongue. Before you had a chance to protest, Aki was pressing your chin up, forcing your mouth closed. "Swallow."

Aki smirked when he heard you gulp. A little spit was far from enough to gross you out, I mean, you just had his dick down your throat and earlier you were practically sucking on his tongue. You stared daggers into him that gave the impression you were beside yourself with anger, but although you'd never admit it, a little part of you enjoyed being commanded by Aki like this. After all, you always wanted to impress your boss as much as possible. Or maybe you were just so horny you didn't care anymore. 

"That's my girl," Aki let go of your face, playfully slapping your cheek as he drew back. "You act so damn cocky, but in the end you're always obedient to me." 

Aki's hands found your waist, his grip rough against your bare skin. Your back arched when he lifted your ass, positioning you properly in front of him so you were level with his height. He pressed his cock in between your thighs, grinding it hard against you. "Tell me, who's in control here?" He asked, voice dripping with spite. 

You didn't reply, instead panting hard as you tried to appear unflustered. The anticipation was killing you. He was so close to filling your aching cunt, close enough that you could feel his heartbeat through his dick as it pulsed and grinded against your clit. 

"Answer me you little brat," Aki leaned down, speaking directly into your ear, "Answer me or I'm not fucking you." 

"I… You… I'm-" You stammered through your gasps, legs feeling like they were about to buckle. You gasped when Aki suddenly slapped your ass hard with his open palm, certainly hard enough to leave a mark. 

"Do you want me to walk away and leave you here? Answer me properly. Who is in control?"

"Dammit," You breathed heavily, forcing yourself to calm down and ignore how much your ass was stinging. "You are, you're in control, Lieutenant." 

That's right. He was in control, he was always in control. Everything had gone exactly as he planned, exactly as he wanted. You were never the one in the driver's seat. If there was ever a point where you thought you were, you must have been horribly fooled. 

"That's what I fucking thought." 

Aki pulled your hips until the head of his cock was prodding at your entrance and he sighed, mumbling so quietly you almost didn't catch it, "I'll try to be gentle, but I don't know if I'll be able to control myself."

You whined when Aki finally pressed inside you with ease, a disgustingly wet sound filling the air. He groaned in your ear when he bottomed out, pulling you in hard by your waist as if he was desperate to get even deeper. 

Assuming you had any doubts still lingering in your brain, they were shaken now. Assuming you had any shame over the inglorious reality that you were currently in your boss's work office, during work hours, bent over his desk with his dick inside you, the pure ecstasy that you felt must have knocked the shame right out of you. Aki's cock stretched you perfectly, deeply, and you could feel him in your stomach as prominently as the butterflies. You thought his fingers reached deep, but this was on a whole different level. His large frame leant over yours and his breath was hot on your cheek. You felt close to him now, closer than ever before, and that thought sent you right to heaven. He felt so good, so perfect, so right. It was everything you had imagined and once he started moving, fuck, it was so much more. 

Aki rolled his hips in and out, slowly and deliberately. Each time he fucked into you, he took note of the moans that left your mouth, trying to adjust and hit the spots that drew the most noise. "God, shit, oh my God, feels so good," Aki stammered in between shaky breaths, his voice light and barely audible over your noises and the sound of skin slapping against skin. 

You stared at the door in front of you. When you first walked in, this was definitely the furthest from what you imagined happening. Your hands, still bound by his tie, clenched as you dug your fingernails into your palm, trying to quiet yourself down and take it. You were starting to get used to the feeling, but his dick was still so fucking big and he knew exactly how to use it. You were whimpering at every thrust, feeling amazing but feeling like you were going to be split open at the same time. If you had any idea he was this good, maybe you would have been bent over for him a long time ago. 

As long as you continued moaning like this, sure, the door was locked, but anyone walking down the hallway might hear you. No, they would definitely hear you. They would hear you and know you were being fucked by the Lieutenant just beyond the door. Somehow though, that thought didn't scare you, it just made you more turned on. 

Aki's hand found itself tangled in your hair, sending tingles all over your scalp when he ran his fingers through. He continued at a slow, steady pace, and it seemed like Aki was focused on fucking you as deeply as he could rather than as hard as he really wanted. When he pressed inside, he rolled his hips into you, pushing his cock in as deep as he could manage. He was reluctant to pull away, but when he did, the feeling of your cunt sucking him back in made him delirious. 

"Shhh, shhh," Aki cooed when your moans started to pick up, although he made no attempt to slow his tempo. "Don't- fuck," He swallowed, cutting himself off when he rammed in again, "Don't get too loud, otherwise people are going to hear. You can take it, you're doing so well." 

Every thrust of Aki's hips, every single one of his moans, every movement and every word he spoke was filled with the weight of just how long he had been waiting for this, how long he had been dreaming of this, how long he had planned this and you never even noticed. 

When you went on a dangerous mission, he thought about you the whole time, racked with fear that you wouldn't return. Once you finally did, covered in wounds and just barely making it out with your life, Aki mysteriously took over assigning your missions from that point on. You can't remember the last time you were given a mission anywhere near as strenuous as that one. 

When he caught a co-worker chatting you up on a joint operation between the whole division, refusing to leave you alone while they invasively put their hands on you, suddenly you weren't assigned any missions with that co-worker anymore. On future joint operations, Aki always seemed to be standing closer to you than usual, always acting as a barrier between you and that person. Apparently, they went on to quit a while ago, with rumors floating around that someone threatened them into doing so. 

And when you started under-performing, set on your current unlucky streak, that's when Aki hatched his plan to take advantage. A ploy to corner you into fulfilling his desires unless you wanted to give up your job was a bit cruel of a plan, sure, but it would work. When he was the one calling your shots, everything would be rather easy. All he had to do was send you on missions he knew would be fruitless or a waste of time and fudge the rest of the details. Once you had sufficiently failed enough, he'd just fire you for your incompetence, and devil hunting was your life, so you'd do anything to get your job back, right? 

Of course you would, because his plan went off without a hitch. Actually, considering he had just planned on having you suck him off and now he was currently seven inches deep inside of you, his plan went way better than he expected. 

"Fuck, fuck you feel so good," Aki moaned when he pressed into you again, feeling your walls squeeze around his cock. Everything he was waiting for finally became realized, and yet, there was still a part of him who wasn't fully satisfied. There was still a part of him who was desperate for more. He asked quietly, mostly to himself, "Why can't I get enough of you?" 

You were wondering the same question. Why couldn't you get enough of him? You wanted more, you needed more. You wanted to plead for him to go faster, harder, deeper, louder, but when you opened your mouth, your thoughts were so scrambled that the only word you could think to say was, "More." 

Thankfully, Aki got the hint, and he picked up the pace. The whole desk shook as his hips began to snap forward faster and rougher, giving you the relief you had been searching for. You felt an overwhelming euphoria in your core each time he thrusted in. "Yes! Don't stop!" You cried out a little louder than you should have, already forgetting that he told you to quiet down.  

"Tell me," Aki choked out between gasps, his voice getting hoarse, "Tell me how good it feels." 

"It feels so good! You feel so fucking good Aki, don't stop!"

Aki gasped when you said his name, the rhythm of his hips stuttering for a moment. He wasn't expecting you to say it then, but the way you did was just so perfect. There were very few people who called him by his name; for the most part, it was either Lieutenant, boss, or Hayakawa if they wanted to be direct. You were the only person he ever gave permission to call him Aki, so hearing his first name fall so effortlessly from your lips was wonderful. Nevertheless, the reminder that he was the one who had you bent over his desk, he was the one who had all the power over you and you knew it… the thought alone would be enough to make him come undone if he wasn't trying to hold back right now to savor the moment. 

"Say my name again, please," Aki begged, his inclusion of asking politely surprising not only you, but himself as well. It just slipped out, honestly, but either way, it seemed to do the trick. 

"Aki, God, Aki!" Your legs were beginning to quiver now, threatening to buckle with every thrust. "You're so big Aki, you feel amazing, you feel so-"

You yelped when Aki abruptly pulled out of you, grabbing your waist and twisting you around until your back was slammed against the desk's hard surface. His mouth was on yours in an instant, your eyes fluttering closed as he sloppily kissed you. His lips felt just as soft as before, but this kiss was much rougher and messier, driven by a fever of desire. One of his hands roughly gripped your waist, holding you so you wouldn't slip, and the other found the buttons on your shirt, expertly unbuttoning them. 

When the two of you pulled apart, you remained connected by a thin line of saliva between your tongues. You opened your eyes, and the sight you were greeted with almost knocked you out. Aki was panting hard trying to catch his breath, face flushed and pupils blown, gaze warm with infatuation but coated with lust. With his sleeves rolled up, you could see his strong biceps covered in scars and rippling veins throughout his arms. His hair was a mess and he reached up into it, pulling out the hair tie that was just barely hanging on before shaking his head until the black strands fell loosely around his face. You had never seen Aki with his hair down until now since he had the habit of always keeping it up, but Lord, he was so pretty. His hair framed his face absolutely perfectly. 

"I wanted to see your face," Aki explained, his calloused palm gently gliding up your body now that your shirt was opened. Wanting to see your face was the truth, but he also needed a minute to compose himself because the way you were saying his name had him on the edge and he wanted to last longer than that. 

"You're so pretty." You said abruptly. 

Oops. You didn't mean to say that one out loud. 

Aki merely chuckled, a faint blush dusted over his cheeks. "And you're beautiful." His hands found your waist to pull you forward, and he hesitated for a moment, leaning in close to whisper, "But I bet you look even more beautiful when I'm inside you." 

Aki pressed back inside you, the feeling of him filling you up again nothing but pure bliss. Your heart was pounding hard but his was pounding even harder. You wrapped your legs tightly around his back when he stuffed you to the hilt once more. 

It didn't take long until Aki had worked back up to his previous pace. He started out with deep rolls of his hips to work back into it before his thrusts devolved, becoming senseless and ragged and filled with need. Although his grip mostly stayed steady on your waist, he frequently ran a hand through his hair, brushing it out of his face when it started to obscure his vision. Strands stuck to his forehead from his sweat. There was something so intense about the way his eyes remained locked on yours, lustful gaze threatening to swallow you whole. 

You weren't really attempting to stifle your noises at this point, and apparently, neither was Aki. He was loud, much louder than you even, moaning and gasping in between each thrust and ragged breath he took in. Funny, he's the one who told you to be quiet, and yet he was the one moaning so loud it could probably be heard three rooms over. 

At first, he was worried about people walking by and hearing, but to tell you the truth, he didn't really give a shit anymore. What were they going to do if they heard him? It was his office, so he could do whatever the hell he wanted. His only grievance was that he didn't want anyone else hearing your noises besides him, but it couldn't be helped in this scenario. He wanted to hear every single noise that left your lips. He didn't want you to hold back anything. 

If there was one description to express how Aki felt right now, it would probably be love-drunk. His mind felt like a complete blur and all he could think about was how amazing you felt, how beautiful your face looked when he was fucking you, how sweet your voice was; all he could think about was you, you, you. He had experience, but nothing like this before, nothing even close. No-one made him feel this way or intoxicated him like this before. Perhaps it was because he had been waiting so, so long for this moment, or perhaps it was just because you were made for him. 

"Close, really close," Aki stammered into your ear, his head dropping to the nape of your neck. His breath was hot and loose strands of his hair tickled your skin. His thrusts were erratic as he began to lose his rhythm. 

"Keep going, just like that," You pleaded, feeling your release coming closer as well. You had been struggling against your restraints this whole time and you finally managed to loosen the knot around your wrists. You snaked an arm out from under you and brought your newly free hand to the back of Aki's head, feeling his soft hair beneath your fingers. Your legs around his back tightened as you pressed him closer to you. 

"How is it?" Aki asked breathlessly. 

"Fuck, it's amazing!"

"Tell me more," Aki groaned, grabbing your open hand and interlacing his fingers with yours when he noticed your arm was free. He gripped your hand tight, his palm sweaty and fingers shaky. "Tell me how amazing it is, tell me how I'm the only one who can fuck you this good."

Did he want you to praise him more or did he just have a fetish for feeding his own ego? 

"It's so good Aki, you're so good," You gripped his hair so hard he thought you might tear it out. "You're the only one Aki, you're the only one, please don't stop-"

You thought you could hold on for a few moments longer, but when Aki started chanting your name under his breath, you knew you were done. He rolled his hips up, hitting that perfect spot in your stomach once more, and that was it. Waves of adrenaline mixed with pure pleasure washed over your entire body as you came around his cock, back arching and legs shaking. You cried out his name, practically screaming it until Aki's free hand covered your mouth, leaving you to whine hopelessly into his palm. 

Aki fucked you through your high, not giving you a moment to breathe. He melted in between the sound of your muffled cries, the feeling of your cunt pulsing around him, and the sight of your beautiful face twisted in pleasure. He stuttered, tumbling over his words, "I'm- fuck, I'm-" 

He groaned, unable to even get the words out before he felt his pleasure burst like a bubble. He shoved deep inside you one last time, giving you all of him as he fell apart. He held himself there as he came, making sure you were pumped with every last drop of him. 

Aki's breath was heavy as he panted, chest heaving, feeling like he was putting in more effort than usual just to squeeze air from his lungs. His body slumped against yours, pinning you to the desk, his grip on your hand loosening. Fuck, he thought you made him cum hard when he was down your throat, but you had just made him cum even harder than he thought was possible. He can't remember the last time he felt this exhausted, not even when he was fighting devils. 

You were really everything he ever dreamed of and more. The feeling of you finishing around him was almost as amazing as the satisfying realization after the fact that he was the one who made you cum, he was the one who got to fuck you. And now that he had come inside you, you belonged to him, that was something he was going to make sure of. 

Aki placed a soft, tingling kiss on your neck, and then on your jawline as he finally pulled himself out of you. "Good job," He praised quietly through unsteady breaths, removing his hand from your mouth to caress your cheek. "You did so good for me. I knew you would." 

"Yeah, so good…" You sputtered, your mind feeling like it was coated in a thick, dizzying fog making it impossible to think straight. Hardly even thinking about what you were saying, you mumbled, "Such a good boy."

Aki let out a half-hearted chuckle, nuzzling his face into your neck, "Why do you insist on calling me that?" 

"Cause you like it." 

"No." 

"Yeah, you do. Admit it and this won't be a one-time thing, I'll let you do me whenever you-" 

"I like it." 

You burst into laughter, your chest pressing against his, "That easy to get you to talk huh?" 

Aki smiled and shrugged, "I guess so. I can't resist you." 

Time felt frozen in place as you laid there, staring at the ceiling through half-lidded eyes as your laughter died down and you caught your breath. Your legs felt numb but still hung around Aki's back at the ankles. As the vertigo began to fade away, you felt the lightheadedness replaced by a slam of dread and embarrassment. 

Here you were, with your shirt unbuttoned, skirt pushed up, and underwear missing, sprawled over your boss's desk. Your hair was a sheer mess, you were drenched in sweat, and you smelled undeniably like sex. How the hell were you supposed to go back to work like this? More importantly, how much time has passed since you first arrived? You had assignments that were supposed to be done by today. 

"Aki, I have to go back to work." 

"No you don't," Aki retorted, lips brushing against your neck. "I'm your boss, remember? I'll sign off on your assignments for today, so just relax." 

When Aki began kissing and nibbling at your skin, you found yourself quickly easing up. His lips were gentle and teasing, but his goal was rather clear: to leave his mark on you. He wanted a reminder of everything. An indication every time he looked at you, every time he saw you at work, that it wasn't just a dream. Or rather, a reminder that his dream had come true. A selfish part of him also wanted everyone to know just who you belonged to, but of course, only he would know he was the cause. They could certainly wonder, though. 

You sighed when Aki sucked harshly against the sensitive skin, but you made no attempt to stop him from littering you with hickeys and love bites as you ran your fingers through his hair. When he was finished, he pulled away to admire his work, your arms hooked around his neck. Several purple bruises painted your neck, scattering down to your collar bones. 

"You're so beautiful."

Your heart skipped a beat and you hesitated for a moment before asking, "Do you really think so?" 

"Of course I do, I always have. You've always been beautiful to me." 

For a few moments, it felt like you and Aki were the only two people in the universe. You were lost in his warm gaze, in his tender expression, in his smile, which was as genuine and soft as what you saw when you first fell for him. Maybe it was his sweet words, maybe it was him finally admitting some of his feelings, or maybe it was just the high you were coming down on, but you found yourself falling for him all over again. 

Aki's fingertips brushed gently over your skin, over the bruises he had marked you with as he spoke, "You should come over to my place tonight." 

"Huh? Why?" You didn't realize until now that your hand had trailed to Aki's ear, where you were playing with his earring between your fingers. 

"Because my roommates aren't going to be there. And I want to spend more time with you. Do you want to?"

"I'd love to." 

Aki grinned and he held your waist to keep you steady as he pulled back further, your arms falling at your sides. He suddenly snickered when his eyes caught on something below you. 

"What?" You asked curiously. 

He met your gaze with an amused look on his face. "My desk is filthy." 

You sat up in a hurry, supporting yourself with your hands, and when you looked, sure enough, he was right. In between your legs, directly on the hardwood surface was a pool of… yeah, you didn't even have to say it. 

"It's fine," Aki reassured with a dry laugh when he saw the panicked look on your face. He gently let go of your waist once he was sure you were upright, then taking a few steps back to his chair. He snatched his suit jacket from where it was draped over the back, tossing it at you. "Use that to clean it up." 

You were hit with utter disbelief, then when you realized he wasn't joking, you stammered, "Are you serious? But that's…" 

"Relax. I'll take it to the dry cleaners later." 

Reluctantly, you scoffed and did as he suggested, trying your best not to be bothered. You cleaned up while Aki found the rest of his clothes and put them on. The least you could do was wipe down everything with an inside section of the jacket so if it did stain, it wouldn't be noticeable. You tossed his jacket aside when you were finished. 

When you finally stood up, you felt the soreness in your core and the shakiness in your legs. Aki rushed over to you before you could take a wobbly step, picking you up with ease and setting you back on the desk. "Hold on, I'll help you." 

Aki helped you get dressed, slipping on your underwear which was totally ruined, then adjusting your skirt as you buttoned up your top. He grabbed his tie from the desk behind you, wrapping it around his collar. 

"Aki-" 

"Lieutenant." Aki corrected as he redid his tie, pulling to tighten it. 

You sighed dramatically, "I'm not calling you that shit." 

"Good, I don't want you to. I was just messing with you."  

Aki calmly dug in his pocket for his lighter and cigarettes, slipping a cig in between his teeth. He struck his lighter with one hand and held your waist with the other. 

"Ha ha." You laughed sarcastically, "Funny joke. Were all the other times jokes as well?" 

Aki shrugged, taking a nice, long drag from his cigarette once it was lit. The rich taste of nicotine filling his lungs was just what he needed to relieve his exhaustion. "I don't know," He said through a mouthful of smoke, turning his head to direct the smoke away from you. "You decide." 

You ignored his comment to ask the question that was burning in your mind the most, "Aki, do I have my job back now?" 

"Yeah, why wouldn't you?" Aki replied, taking another puff of his cigarette. 

"I don't know, I just didn't expect you to give it back to me so easily. I know I did what you asked but…"

Aki smiled. 

"This was never about your job, darling." 

#aki hayakawa x reader #aki hayakawa smut #csm x reader #chainsaw man x reader #chainsaw man smut #aki hayakawa #aki x reader

[myths-tournaments]

Awful Characters Round 3 (3/8)

Propaganda under the cut!

BENNY GECKO

The first thing that happens in new vegas is that benny fucking shoots your character in the face, steals your shit and leaves you in an open grave. Benny is by all accounts a bastard. He kills you, steals from you, he killed his last boss, he is the single most duplicitous man around. His gang are all about honesty- except him. He's a lying, cheating bastard. The guys who helped him catch you? He skipped on paying them and left them to get shot to death. His new boss, mr.house? He stole his robot, broke it open, got someone to reprogram it and decided to use it to TAKE OVER THE WHOLE OF VEGAS. Benny literally kills people, lies to people, steals their shit and takes charge. That's all benny does. He gets fucking CRUCIFIED if you don't help him out just because so many people fucking hate him. And yet. And yet. Benny is the single most compelling character in the whole game to me. He's just a little guy! He's just there! You can get shot in the head and come back and he goes "what in the goddamn" and then if you try and flirt with him he's like "uhhh sure? Okay?" And leaves you a polite note in the morning. He's fancy. He wears a stupid suit. He has a tiny gun with shitty bullets. He's catholic. He talks like an old timey news presenter. Literally nobody else in the entire game does that. He's got an intelligence of 3. He's my funtime boy. My silly little man. He's so funny. The antagonist in this game is a guy dressed like a tablecloth who looks at all times like a confused dog who doesn't understand what a tv is. And like. He's compelling. He robs from you, shoots you, but…. he never seems to actually wish you harm. He kills and robs and lies but like. He apologises for doing it to you. When he sees you again he doesn't attack you, he's just… confused. He tries to defuse the situation. You can convince him to talk to you, alone, with no guards and it's not that hard. If you spare his life, he doesn't go after you, like. Even if you sleep with him he doesn't take advantage of that and kill you, even if you try to. He… he just leaves. He gives you an apology. If he gets kidnapped by Caesar He just… apologizes again. He tells you his whole plan to take over the city, too. He thinks he'll die, and he wants something of him to survive. He's happy that you made it. And if you let him free, he just… leaves. He knows he's beat, he doesn't want to cause any more trouble. He walks out and leaves. The NCR will kill you if you cross them. The legion will crucify you. House? He'll blow you the fuck up. But benny, the guy who lies and cheats and schemes, he's honest. He's polite. He's… harmless. You can kill him with a single shot if you want. And he can't kill you. He doesn't kill you the first time, and he'll never really hurt you again. Benny just wanted to win. When he knows he's beat he just leaves. No lingering, no harm, he's off, off into the desert heat, and never seen again. Isn't that just insane? like have you ever known an antagonist so polite? He just leaves!! He offers you a drink!! His plan is genuinely probably the best one for the people of new vegas!!! He's. Benny is Benny.

Anyway if you want to see some REAL propaganda go to the blog letmebegaytodd and look in the #benny tag. You'll Understand < https://www.tumblr.com/letmebegaytodd/717051175751614464/in-another-life-i-wouldve-really-liked-just> <- look at this shit man

AEMOND TARGARYEN

I've seen twitter (and tumblr) users call every HotD character fans bad people (because obviously everyone who doesn't support the same side as them in the show is evil) but personally Aemond is my favorite little war criminal. He's murdered a child (his nephew(14yo)) because he stabbed his eye out when they were younger (very stable family), all of that kickstarted a full on war. He's also thought about murdering his brother to become king instead. He does have drip though (replacing his missing eye with a sapphire), and he's his mom's favorite child (aka the only one who ever has an idea what's happening). And we're not that far in the show yet but he also gets a hot witch girlfriend. (Also everyone in HotD is a bad person, just pick your favorite war criminal like the rest of us)

#awful characters tournament #tournament poll #awful characters round 3 #fallout new vegas #benny gecko #benny fnv #house of the dragon #hotd #aemond targaryen

[raifuujin]

M27 Spoilers

Okay, so. My thoughts.

First off, the cousins thing. I'll be honest, I fully thought the movie was going to go with a common ancestor route instead of the more direct dad's being brothers. Obviously that didn't turn out, but considering they also brought in Okita and his face, it would have made a lot more sense to just go further back and also leave explanation for the other same-face Gosho boys that are scattered around. But I guess that wouldn't have been dramatic enough, so oh well.

I'd still probably ship KaiShin. The cousins thing really doesn't bother me when they don't even know (because nobody in this series talks about any family until it has maximum audience whammy). I see some people who are lamenting, because it makes things uncomfortable for them, and that's fair. I don't see it quite as bad as like. Leia and Luke from Star Wars, or the more personal Layton and Descole from PL, both pairs being direct siblings instead of first cousins, but plenty of people still probably view it as too close. Also, if anyone is familiar with the hiimdaisy Ace Attorney comic with Apollo and Trucy and Phoenix is supposed to tell them they're related and Does Not time it well. -finger guns- It would make a great parody comic idea for this KaiShin situation. (I might do it myself if no one else does, but would Not be soon.)

Other people bring up that Gosho mentioned much, much earlier that there was a reason Kaito and Shinichi look alike. Which I did remember, but the thing about that is. That I don't trust Gosho in the slightest. Like, did he actually plan out Yuusaku and Toichi's separated twins backstory at that time, or did he have a general idea that he'd be making them familial related somewhere in their tree? Some people truly thought Kaito and Shinichi could be the brothers, with the Kuroba's adopting for some various fandom-created reasons. Or other, far more dramatic direct relation. Could Gosho's comment have just been him making a joke that the 'reason' was him thinking about them having the same inspiration? How serious was he meant to be taken 20 years ago?

Many people saying 'of course they're related, they look exactly alike':

1) Sameface syndrome with characters goes well beyond Kaito and Shinichi. There were so many protoypes of characters, or just matching looks to character types, of course not everyone is gonna hop on the 'well duh, they must be related' train. It's nice to feel vindication for headcanoning them as family, but don't make it sound like people are stupid for being upset. There's very little to tell what's lampshading and teasing vs 'no, really, they're gonna be related to each other'.

2) The common ancestor explanation would have worked perfectly fine, and honestly, the fact that Toichi and Yuusaku are twin brothers separated through divorce who happen to both have stayed in the Tokyo area (mostly) while both being internationally famous and maintaining contact with each other and sending gifts even when one of them is publicly dead. Sounds goddamn stupid. (The brothers idea would probably have been fine and plausible, it was all that Extra that pushed it into 'okay just stop, this sounds like a load of contrived bullshit'. How did no one during the 'reveal' of that go 'um, I know this is how you want this connection to go, but can we make it sound more plausible/real?')

Because, Gosho clearly didn't plan on them being related all along. That's probably what actually bothers be about the contrived connection (since the real impact to KaiShin is relatively small). It's very obvious that he just drew his male protags for quite a few stories looking very similar. (Usually in his image, to an extent, though that's usually just mentioned for Kaito, specifically.) It was also clear that when he had Kid make a surprise appearance in DC, there really wasn't supposed to be a connection. Did he come up with it on his own? Only after people asked about it? Did he go 'you know, I might could connect the two for fun'? I don't know. I don't trust a man who created Sera's concept based on a cool female detective and wrapped her up with Akai and made the whole stupid family thing, and who changed Amuro's planned role as a bad guy on a whim because he was too cool to be bad, to have actually planned out this family connection all along.

And even with all that, there's also the issue of revealing this information in a movie. People have had arguments about movie canonicity for years, and yet this all gets mentioned for cinema shock value. I don't mind the using extra characters, or making things more action packed than the manga would allow, or even stupid things like Kidnichi 200 times. But this? This is asking for chaos. It feels like a big clusterfuck of yes, no, maybe, for how important this is going to be going forward, because we don't even know if Gosho means to make use of this info for the mangas at all, or if it's going to remain background information from a movie that may or may not even be relevant to know. Except as a wink to the audience and a middle finger to shippers, I guess.

(There are pluses to this, which is general thinking about the implications of this family dynamic and how chaotic things could actually get or how things got to be how they are already. I'd like to know what exactly Yuusaku knows about his brother's status and if his 'friend from interpol' could be used to connect to Toichi's whole. Legally died but is still alive and being an a-hole to his son by letting him go into the profession that was trying to kill him.) ((Yes, we're still gonna murder Toi, especially since his amnesia out is clearly off the table. We don't know enough about what Yuusaku knows, but I can't even say he's on thin ice because the chances of him knowing a lot about Kaito's situation is too damn high to let him off the hook.))

...Anyway, that's obviously the main drama, but side note that I'm also mad because movie being canon or not aside (I adopt movies as canon, especially newer ones, but people can also ignore them without loosing manga compliance really), the issue I have is the further blurring of MK and DC connection. At this point, it literally is just Akako being the crux of the 'are they the same universe or aren't they' argument, and it's literally never gonna get answered because Gosho refuses to even let her show up in DC for anything. You truly can argue either way when she's just not shown. And even though it won't happen, it's to a point where they feel so obviously the same universe that I hope Gosho just let's Akako do a cameo at the end of DC just to mess with people. But regardless, making MK only characters directly related to DC characters is. Maddening for that whole argument. (Sure, Toichi has appeared in DC before, however, the movie goes out of the way to add that extra 'fuck you' to the audience by revealing not just Toichi being alive and texting Yuusaku casually, but the reveal is in his fucking. Corbeau outfit. Which. Corbeau is 1000% MK only knowledge, so there's not getting around that no one would know that character unless they've read MK.)

And last note, the one other spoiler I've seen mentioned is the failed Heizuha confession and just. The reasons for failing get dumber and dumber and just add to the mess of spoilers coming from this movie. Oh no, Iori, the former government agent dude working for the rich girl love rival for Heiji's affection, dropped a flashbomb at the exact time Heiji confessed, so Kazuha never heard it. I don't think the spoilers I saw ever clarified if he was doing something and it was coincidence, or if it was intentional, but. God the fails being turned into elaborate jokes is getting. Ridiculous. I don't even care if they get together in canon, I'm not super invested in the ship, but I feel like even if I did want them to get together, there's. Literally zero hope for any build ups at this point. You can't keep leading up to it and pulling it away, people are gonna stop caring. At this point, half the people invested are just going to give an exasperated 'finally' when it happens, instead of actually being excited at this point, it's just tiring.

I hope the rest of the movie is at least entertaining. Fun action packed eye-candy fluff to help numb the stupid 'important' scenes. Spoilers might feel ick, but it's in a vacuum of reading words about scenes on their own. (Which probably won't change the Yuusaku scene at all, but Heiji's confession is. Probably an 'okay, here we go, what happens this time' thing that's better if you're already just there for entertainment.)

Edit: Someone has now basically confirmed with their own watch that the movie is fun, and the bombshell of lore is at the very end.

#dc spoilers #That's one post V: #Maybe I'll wait until all the MK chapters are out to make a post about. The thing going on there #I also am not a fan of that writing for being a lazy made-up-when-people-showed-interest-in-something. Thing

[countryfriedcatboy]

dutch van der linde thoughts and feelings and the human condition,,,

like. i think that dutch being a good guy who is capable of compassion and kindness can like. coexist with his skewed view of the world and his place in it. hes just as capable of saving and cradling those less fortunate than him as much as he is at using them for his own gain.

and like. the facade to me. is more in his psyche than anything else

its a mask of strength and intelligence for his own sake

and his relationship with molly is meant to show you how negligent and mean he can get. it also shows you that hes insecure and lashes out whenever somebody tries to help him

he doesnt like being wrong or being ridiculed in any sense because it reflects back on what i think he feels he is at his core. a nobody. a two bit outlaw. and when thats pointed out he gets defensive

i want to be able to explain that yes. he wants to help people and he wants a better world but that wanting has become twisted over the years and now that hes backed into a corner that thought becomes second place (and micah encourages this) and hes willing to throw people under the bus

he thinks everyones out to get him and that he can only trust himself

i also think that stems from the fact that hes so scared of everyone leaving him or everything going wrong that hes come to the conclusion that nobodies really sticking around for him

and i think this can also exist at the same time as his moment of narcissim cus. thats how mood swings and especially bpd (whether or not he has it) is like. part of him being all over the place is because of this

he can be a kind man while also being a hypocrite of all sorts. the human condition allows this

his words and his actions do not always match up for good and for bad

and i think thats like. the core of it all is that hes meant to show a part of the human condition which allows for so many possibilities and shows how these choices can go beyond what you think or what you feel. dutch was going to get backed into a corner no matter what happened. but he jumped the gun and assumed (in actions rather than words) that he was already doomed and acted accordingly. throwing people under th bus and assuming that he had been duped

he was so caught up in looking for the problem he couldnt see it righth in front of him

because by his perception why would someone manipulating him be kind to him?? why would they encourage him and soothe his fears and inflate his ego?

also him and molyy are such like. a good relationship. writing wise. obviously in game they are terrible for one another but

molly and dutch are similiar to me. in a psychological way. they are easily consumed by the idea of love and being wanted but. molly isnt a conman or a killer like dutch is. and i feel like molly doesnt hide behind the mask as much as dutch does. i think its still there for her. but to a lesser extent. mollys kind and caring nature always struck me as being given much more freely than dutch's. and in such a way it feels more genuine. whereas dutch has the intention but must make it flowery and grand even though hes capable of the smaller goods

ansd the tragedy of the both of them is that all molly wanted to do was help him

she loved him. i dont think dutch loved her the same. dutchs love was quick and dependent completely on how he felt at the moment. dutchs mode was survival and her comfort or him caring for her wasnt top of his priority. i dont think he loved her in the way molly loved him

molly thought she had found true love in him. dutch wanted someone to woo. someone to care about him for the brief amount of time. it was fleeting. and conditional

also dutchs whole deal with the wapiti tribe is the real killer for him morally. the whole point of helping them was to prove a point. and not for the tribes benefit but for himself

sure it was a "distraction" but he gave no plan for it afterwards. he wanted the rush of it. he was hurt and scared and therefore angry. he recognized eagle flies righteous anger and eagerly encouraged him into a death trap and when eagle flies dies. he backtracks. says that it was all according to plan. at that point he's grasping at strings. he's chewing off his own leg to escape the trap and that leg is all he is as a person

he's casting off the ideals and the dreams because he has convinced himself they are obsolete. he has nothing left to lose and to him nobody wants him anymore. and he's violently bitter about it. the way hes so shocked that micah was duping him. the vulnerability of his ignorance in that moment. the realization of his failure in that moment was destroying for him. he did all that for nothing. threw away everything he had known and tied himself into a knot trying to escape the trap he was led into. and then he was forced to reckon with the only leg he has left and the fact that he's bleeding out

but even more fascinating is how adamant he is that he was betrayed. admitting to his failure is too much for him. it would make everything they ever said about him true and he can't handle that. but also the way he runs back to micah for revenge. he cannot let go no matter what. he drags the trap along with him in a spiral of bitterness that quite literally lasts until his dying day

he kills micah for himself. to soothe the failure of killing his son

and then he goes on to create a new gang. with the people he admires. people who are full of righteous anger. it feels as if he's attempting to relive his life through all of this. this time he's not going to fail. this time he won't take any chances

dutch's greatest malady is that he cannot let go. but he also cannot look

he cannot obtain his redemption because he can't face down nor let go of what he's done

he's stuck in limbo fighting for the sake of figthing

he says it himself. all he's ever done is fight and he continues to no matter what. in the littlest of ways like snapping at the hand that wants to help him to killing men by the droves to slay the unseen enemy thats in his mind

it all circles back to the vicious cycle that red dead redemption is meant to be

it's meant to be a cautionary tale. and dutch is the prime example. he doesn't want to look at he what he's done but nonetheless cannot let go

even if he never wanted to continue the cycle he continues it anyways through never facing it

and he would rather throw himself from a cliff rather than seeing it. dutch was tired of fighting. but he never stopped running

#phase weeps #dutch van der linde #terrified to post this #this is not molly or eagle flies slander or anything else #this is purely an analystical work #uhm. please be nice or else i will cry. not really. maybe

[bunglegaydogs]

BSD CH.109 SPOILERS AGAIN

So, I said this in my other post, but I really want this to be just focusing on that one point because I actually lowkey believe that Dazai would pull some shit like this.

So, my theory is obviously that Dazai isn't dead and he wasn't actually shot; there's a fucking mountain of evidence pointing to it just smelling so fishy like, where's all the blood? Where's how gorey getting shot in the head at point blank is? Where's the bullet wound on the wall? TW for gore, but when you get shot in the head, typically your brain/muscle and all that good stuff will explode out of the back of your head as the bullet pierces through and splatters it all on the wall (if you're in front of a wall like this mf was).

He should NOT have been able to talk. He should not have been able to laugh, he should not have been able to MOVE POSITIONS BECAUSE YES, HE MOVED POSITIONS.

THIS is the position he "dies" in.

And THIS is supposedly the position he's in next; when and how did this motherfucker move? And if this is the camera that Fyodor is watching, then has someone somehow tampered with it? Man, I don't know.

ANYWAYS.

My theory on how Dazai can possibly survive this shit is that it wasn't a real bullet; and listen, I KNOW that we literally watched Chuuya shoot him three other times and we see the blood, the bullet going through his body and hitting the wall, and we see that he has been shot. That's fucking clear as day; my theory, however, because Dazai is this type of cunning bastard, is that that one round in the gun wasn't a real bullet.

Listen, I know I might be clutching at straws here, but PLEASE hear me out.

My theory is that that round was a paintball. Which would explain 1. the slight dent in his head and 2. the "blood" on his forehead. And, can I just point out how bright those fucking flashes are? Nobody can see anything when Chuuya pulls the trigger; however, the next two times he does, we can see it perfectly fine. I don't know, seems suspicious lol. Anyways.

I think that Dazai either somehow got a hold of the gun that Chuuya has or maybe gave it to him before he ever even went to Meursault, and Chuuya fired one round into his shoulder; he's showing Fyodor that, yes, this is a real bullet. This is a real gun. Then, he shoots him in the head with the paintball bullet. I thought that when Dazai started deciding to shout "Where the hell are you aiming you god damn clutz?!" That it was a signal or him trying to tell Chuuya, who's still in there, "Shoot me in the head next. Aim good." or something; Dazai is NEVER that profane or like that at all. Maybe it's strong emotions/words that get through to the vampires. I don't know. But yeah, so, Chuuya shoots him in the head. Then, he shoots him in the shoulder and in the side to once again prove that it is in fact a real gun, loaded with real bullets. And so Fyodor now thinks that he has won; where in actuality, Dazai is just really injured, but still alive enough to touch Chuuya whilst Fyodor's back is maybe turned from the cameras. Also, we don't know what happened when Fyodor wasn't looking and he was talking to Sigma. Either way, I feel as if he's going to think he's won and think it's all over, then idk Nikolai somehow appears? Where the fuck is that guy? What's going on with the poison? Hm. Anyways, and so yeah.

Maybe I'm clutching at straws because I just refuse to believe that Asagiri is going to kill off Dazai. I don't know. Bro, I'm still just trying to hold out hope for Sigma as well. Too many people are either presumed dead or are in actual like fatal positions and honestly I feel like fucking this;

Anyways, thanks for reading this. I am emotionally distressed.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #osamu dazai #chuuya nakahara #bsd 109 #ch 109 #bsd ch 109 #chapter 109 #skk #soukoku #manga #i am fucked

[ainsley2079]

Midnight- Park Jay (001)

Jay was looking at the mirror. He was eyeing himself. After he lost his family his mind seems to work in a whole different way. His mind is blaming himself for the death of his family.

It feels like his mind is trying to manipulate him. In his mind the person with the gun was him who was a little child that didn't know if the gun was real or not. He pulled the trigger to see if that gun was real. Because of him doing that his family died due to him. That's what his mind thinks.

Even though he knows that it is not the truth and his mind is thinking wrong things. Sometimes he wants to kill himself due to the guilt inside him. He tried to drown himself in water many times. But nothing worked.

He is cutting his hand making little cuts. The red blood makes him excited like a kid who is excited to have some candy. There is blood drops dropping from his hand to the ground. He is looking at the ground which is slowly being filled with the blood drops from his hand.

He sighed and took the first aid kit. He opened it and bandaged his cuts so that no more blood drops from it.

Jay went to put the first aid kit back at it's place. After some time he turned on the TV to see the news even though he is not interested. He saw the news about him again.

"Yesterday a dead body has been found in the Hands river. The body was pulled out of water when it was discovered. There was a tattoo of a black rose at the neck of the victim. Who is this person that has been killing people at midnight? What does the black rose mean? Did the victim do something to the killer that made the killer kill the victim? " The person on the news channel kept blabbering.

Jay turned off the TV annoyedly. Then he went to his room to open his treaured box which was full of the album pictures taken with his family when they were alive, some videos and clips of his family, some treasured items of his family.

He took out two lockets from the box. Both of the lockets had a half heart shaped on it. Just by looking at it he could remember his mom.

His mom was buying two lockets which had the half heart design on it.

"Mom why are you buying those lockets? " little Jay asked her as he was curious.

"Dear because the heart is divided into two halves when it is broken. It can mean that someone owns half piece of your heart or you own their half piece of heart. Besides whenever you fall in love with someone give one piece of this locket to that person to let that person to know that you love her" Jay's mom said.

Jay remembered his mother's words just by looking at the locket.

" Mom I don't think that I would have someone that I love truly. After you, dad and Jiyeon left from my life my life has been meaningless. It is like a dead flower without sunlight, water. And who would love a psycho like me? Obviously nobody " Jay said to himself as he chuckled sadly.

There was Chaeyun who was almost sleeping in her maths class. The maths class felt so boring for her. The teacher was blabbering some formulas and how to do the maths while she was almost dying. By the end of the class she knew that she was gonna fail in maths. Luckily the teacher didn't notice her sleeping.

"I don't understand Mathematics no matter how hard I try. To be honest why is Maths so hard? It makes me go through five stages of grief at once" Chaeyun muttered to herself.

Chaeyun looked at the clock seeing that there are two hours left until college hours ends. She has to wait patiently for these two hours to end so that she can finally go home. Her favourite place at college is the college gate because even though it is the place where she enters hell it is also the place where she leaves the hell named college.

After two hours finally it was time to go home. Chaeyun was happily walking to her home until she saw some couples at the nearby park. Those couples were holding hands, hugging, kissing at a public place not caring about what other's think. It made her feel disgusted. She looked away quickly.

"Can't they get a room for themselves? The park is a public place for everyone and here they are doing disgusting couple things. Being single while watching this makes me feel more single. I guess I was born just to be a third wheel" Chaeyun said to herself.

Chaeyun was too busy in her thoughts. She was not watching where she is going causing her to bump into a stranger making both of them almost fall on the ground. Luckily he caught her waist on time.

Jay was walking through the streets as he wanted to outside for a walk. The walk was going peacefully until he had to bump into someone causing both of them to almost fall. He almost cursed at her until he saw her face. Jay caught her waist on time so that she doesn't fall on the ground embarrassing herself.

'She seems familiar' Jay thought to himself.

Chaeyun quickly bowed to him and apologized for bumping into him.

"From next time watch where you are going instead of walking like a blind person on the streets" Jay said to her in a cold tone.

She looked back at him as he ignored her and started to go on his way back. Just by the first meeting she had already started to despise him because of his attitude. Chaeyun gave him a stern gaze as she tried to keep a poker face and rolled her eyes towards him.

#enhypen angst #enhypen imagines #enhypen au #enhypen scenarios #enhypen yandere #enhypen × reader #enhypen #jay enhypen #midnights #park jongseong #park jay #jay imagines

[literaticat]

Hello. Just wondering what you think of the current "Roald Dahl re-write" controversy.

Hahaha I have a lot of feelings. Some of them you probably won't like? IDK.

First of all, lemme just say, Roald D was an anti-Semitic asshole, a notoriously difficult and bad man, his books are mean-spirited and rankle me, I really don't give a fig about him or his books or his legacy, and I'd never give them to a child.

(I wouldn't stop a child from reading one if they wanted to, either! I wouldn't BAN them! It's fine with me that they EXIST and are readily available for anyone who wants to read them! I just personally would not spend my money to present a child with a copy of one of his books, I think there are better things to read that I'd rather gift.)

So if you were under a rock and you didn't hear this latest "outrage", evidently the Roald Dahl estate + the UK publisher decided to do an update to a bunch of his books removing some of the particularly egregious language around things like minorities, fat people, etc. Some of the coverage of this makes it sound like they removed vast swathes of text, essentially rewriting the books. Which would obviously be insane if true. But it's not true. The changes are, as the estate put it, "small and carefully considered." There might be hundreds in total, but if they are tweaks to words across dozens of books - that's really not very many?

Anyway lots of authors are decrying it as CENSORSHIP!!!!! In my opinion... that is a little dramatic. First of all - censorship would be if they redacted the language without the permission of the rights holder. That is not the case. The rights holder is very much on board here - presumably because they know that the language is old-fashioned at best and OFFENSIVE at worst, and they just signed a many-million dollar contract with Netflix! And I'm sure they would like people to NOT boycott those Netflix projects and continue to buy the books!

It would also be censorship if somebody rounded up all old copies and destroyed them, preventing people from ever experiencing the text as originally published. But that's not happening. There are literally MILLIONS of copies of these books in print. They are SO available we could all build houses out of them. Nobody is taking anything away here.

Additionally -- this happens ALL THE TIME. All! The! Time!!!! Mind you -- MOST books just go out of print and are forgotten. But books that are lucky enough to stay in print for decades are often updated / tweaked to reflect changing cultural mores, etc.

For examples: In the 1930's, Nancy Drew was 16 years old and carried a gun. In the 1950's, they realized that was not going over well anymore, so they changed all her stories to make her 18 with no gun.

In the 1970's, Margaret of ARE YOU THERE GOD fame wore a "sanitary belt" for her period. I read these books in the early 80's and was like "wtf???" -- well, in the late 80s, they changed it to pads.

Oh, and also, in early editions of CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY, the Oompa-Loompas were Black pygmies from a tribe in Africa! They changed them to orange fantasy creatures later, because guess what, people were weirded out about it.

While it's true that Roald D himself made/approved that change (presumably because somebody back in the day told him, "yo, you are going to get a LOT of money from Hollywood if you make this change" and he realized it was true) -- he's dead. If he were alive, he'd probably have the same convo, and people would say "yo, Netflix is giving you millions of dollars, apologize for the hatred you spewed and change some words or your deal is toast." -- And he'd have done it, just like he did the first time. Since he's dead, his heirs made that decision. Which they are fully allowed to do.

Most of the time, literary executors of author's estates are trying to do the most lucrative things for that estate; they have a fiduciary responsibility to do so. That being said - if you feel strongly that after your death your books must be frozen in amber and never changed a bit, never sold to Hollywood / adapted for stage or TV or film, never sold into foreign countries where words change in translation all the time -- then let your heirs / executors know that explicitly, they DO NOT have permission to agree to any of this. And the books will likely just go out of print, and sink into oblivion.

ETA: Are these changes really being done because of concern for children's "delicate" brains, or "cancel culture gone mad"? ... OR, is it a somewhat cynical cash-grab to ensure that a multi-million dollar Netflix deal doesn't go down the tubes? Probably the latter!

But also, that isn't censorship. Creators and their estates are allowed to grab cash if it is offered, and can change or not change things as they will. They are the rights holders.

--

ETA ETA: I also should have mentioned a similar case from a couple years back: In 2021, the Seuss estate elected to *stop* publishing certain titles that contained racial and ethnic stereotypes. (And also - those particular books were among his least popular and they were not losing anything by making that decision, they make a billion dollars off his other books, and actually that news made his books SKYROCKET in sales, but whatever). It would not surprise me AT ALL if this hand-wringing news actually causes a big spike in Dahl sales.

[bloodymarymorstan]

Ok so I just watched the latest episode of What If where Captain Carter (Peggy if she was Captain America) fights the Hydra Stomper (Steve if he was the Winter Soldier) because I KNEW they were once again gonna do the thing where they give all of Steve and Bucky's interactions to Peggy and Steve and say that this time they are romantic even though they definitely weren't when it was 2 very straight bros (lol) so. Let's get into it (spoilers for s2e5 of What If, obviously):

When Peggy finds out Steve is alive she goes to Nick Fury and he tells her there have been rumors of this for decades; Peggy's angry he and Natasha didn't tell her - this is interesting because in TWS Peggy was part of the organization that was hiding rumors about Bucky from Steve. Peggy is objecting to something she was part of in the actual MCU

Natasha says "the Steve Rogers that you loved died in 1953" - a similar sentiment to what people were saying to Steve about Bucky but more overtly romantic. They throw the word "love" around in the episode quite a few times, like they need to make it extra clear

Bucky (who's old and working for SHIELD) finds out Steve is alive and his reaction is pretty tame, like he's surprised and I guess happy but he doesn't really seem to care that much which is just ridiculous (especially bc in this timeline Steve and Bucky kept working together for several years after the war) - Bucky is also stated to have had a wife and kids and has clearly moved on from Steve in the way Peggy did in the original movies

The Hydra Stomper (Steve) is going to kill Bucky, Bucky stands in front of him to talk him down. He doesn't want to kill Steve which is obviously good and in character. The thing he says to try to get Steve to snap out of it is "let's get a drink" which cracked me up because is that the no homo version of "end of the line" for these writers?? Anyway, Steve does lower his gun but then he raises it again (we don't see if he would have actually killed Bucky because Peggy intervenes at this point)

There's a romantic scene where Peggy and Steve bond over their shared traumas which... shared life experience, anyone? (What If I threw myself off a cliff?) - it does turn out that Steve is secretly still brainwashed at this point and is trying to lure Peggy in so idk how seriously I should take this scene

In terms of dialogue, the final fight scene between Peggy and Steve is very similar to the one with Steve and Bucky in TWS. Eventually, Peggy drops her shield and tells Steve that she doesn't want to fight him, and is going to let him kill her. The line she says that gets him to stop is "I want to be with you. Even if this is the end. I want you." She also says "I can't lose you again." This is basically EXACTLY what "I'm with you til the end of the line means", but a bit less ambiguous (and also less poetic, the original line is obviously much better)

Steve doesn't kill Peggy, he flies off (but he also doesn't save her life like Bucky does for Steve in TWS so. Inferior)

At the end, Peggy is planning to go find Steve, even though nobody thinks she'll be able to save him (again, basically the exact same as TWS)

My concluding thoughts:

It's hard to say what Marvel's exact goal is with the phenomenon of giving so many of Steve and Bucky's interactions to Steve and Peggy in EU content, but it's definitely gotten pretty ridiculous and out of hand. There is an instinct to accuse them of homophobia and wanting to rewrite Steve and Bucky's story to make it straight/less significant, but I also wonder if the bigger factor is that the writers know that Steve and Peggy's canon ending makes no sense considering how underdeveloped their relationship was, and they want to trick viewers into thinking they had a better written romance by giving them more meaningful moments in What If (and also Rogers The Musical but that's for another post). That being said, if the best way to write a better romance you can think of is to use the exact same plotline the supposedly straight protagonist had with his male best friend (but that people have been interpreting as a romance for years and years) then maybe you should be reflecting on why that is. Ultimately though it's just lazy writing (have some originality!) and will never erase the fact that the real movies were gay as hell. I'll definitely be taking this as further proof that TWS was a romance all along.

#stucky #stevebucky #i'm scared to tag other things in case people come for me

[furrylibrarian]

I want to talk a bit about Tears of the Kingdom.

It's hard for me to do that, because all my feelings about it are contradictory and tangled up. I think its storytelling is incoherent and is actively hindered by the game structure, but it also has unquestionably some of the best story beats in the series. I find the open-ended creativity encouraged by its mechanics wild and engaging, but in practice I tend to just fall back on a few simple solutions and get frustrated when they don't easily apply to the thing I'm trying to solve. Most of all, I think it (alongside BotW) represents a much-needed shakeup to a series that was getting entirely too stale, but it is those very games that stagnated the franchise that made me fall in love with it.

Expanding on the second point I just made; I think TotK might be the only game I've played (that isn't a fighting game, anyways) that makes me feel inadequate. I know enough about its mechanics to understand that, conceptually, there's an incredible amount of potential Nonsense you can do with Ultrahand, but I just don't know how I should tap into that potential. I think it's admirable that the game doesn't tutorialize everything and lets you discover functions on your own, but because of that I've missed critical information about mechanics and felt like a complete fool for having to look up the information online (case in point; I had to consult the internet to figure out that I had to hit devices to activate them). I often have this background feeling that I could be doing something more interesting and effective when I'm playing TotK.

But really, most of my issues with TotK come from the lore implications. Gonna put a break here because spoilers. It's kind of just a rant after this point.

I've always been sharply aware that the devs aren't really concerned with adhering to an extended continuity and would rather craft a self-contained experience, but I just can't get over how weird TotK's story and backstory are. I'm still not sure what to make of the revelation that APARRENTLY there was just a SECOND GANONDORF the whole time who nobody knew about, and I'm still not really sure if Calamity Ganon was the classic Ganondorf degraded to a primal form after millennia of reincarnation (as I believed before TotK dropped), or if it was related to this game's new ancient Ganondorf? It's a messy situation that's only a problem when you're thinking about BotW/TotK in the context of the rest of the franchise WHICH IS COMPLETELY REASONABLE

Also the memories are just so strange. They feel like a warped retelling of OoT's first act, especially since a main character shares his name with an OoT character, a name which is not one of the many continually-recycled named the series uses which makes it sound way more significant! Like when I was playing through, I had this weird creeping feeling that this game was trying to replace OoT with this new backstory? Like obviously, no, it isn't, but it hit so many of the same important beats! Ganondorf allies himself with the king of Hyrule (even mirroring a shot from OoT), Zelda realizes he's up to something and tries to stop him, only to fail spectacularly such that Ganondorf gets the exact empowered artifact he was gunning for the whole time. Even Zelda transforming into a dragon to repair the Master Sword and sacrificing her identity in the process reminded me of Link in OoT drawing the Master Sword and losing his childhood, LIKE THEY'RE TELLING THE SAME STORY, WHAT IS GOING ON

I don't have a conclusion, I don't have a thesis, I just have opinions and I needed to vent them

#tears of the kingdom #totk #zelda totk #legend of zelda #vent

[hag-lad]

RANKED: MY TOP TEN FAVORITE NANDAMURI TARAKA RAMA RAO JR LOOKS

Us Jr NTR fans are blessed to have quite the chameleon oosaravelli as our fave, because there are so many glorious looks to keep us entertained over his illustrious 30-film career. It was SO GODDAM HARD to choose just ten, but here they are! Gun to my head! His ten finest looks!

10. Krishna's pink shirt in Brindavanam

I remember when these "fcuk" shirts were all the rage, but nobody ever wore it quite like Krishna! He looks sooooo good in pink! What a little hottie. With the earrings too?!!?! Goddam it. Just. Goddam this man.

9. Kusa's mullet for Doschestha

Styling wise, I feel nothing towards this, except maybe a spark of delight to see Tarak in pink yet again. But look, Kusa does not know how to dress, and I love that for him. This look is all about THE HAIR!!!! We never see Tarak with hair this long, but it's so fucking GOOD!!!!!! The little ponytail!!!!!!!! How could one not fall in love?!

8. Simhadri's fishnet vest for Chinnadamme Cheekulu

Oh go OFF, King!!!!!!!! Look at the sheer, unfiltered ATTITUDE he's serving! Absolutely no one on Earth looks good in light-dark wash jeans (the true blight of the 2000's) but this son of a bitch pulls it off!!!! How does he do it?!

7. Munna's saffron headband in Andhrawala

Okay, so conceptually, this is the same thing as Simhadri (headband, open shirt, slutty vest, jeans) but I prefer these colors! I also prefer Munna's facial hair; it's a little more grown out, and I love Tarak most when he is FURRY. And FAT! I think Munna's got a couple pounds on Simhadri? Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't care. I love them both so much.

6. Jai's Swing Zara ensemble in Jai Lava Kusa

God, Jai is such a fucking peacock, isn't he? A total queen, the last of the old school gays. I have so much respect for his drip. Jai would never, ever, in a million years, let mortal eyes witness him looking anything less than spectacular. His beard is groomed, his hair is moussed, every stitch of clothing on his body is tailored and professionally pressed, and you know what? I think that goes for his underwear too. Or idk, maybe he's freeballin' it. He can do whatever he wants, quite frankly.

5. Tarak's Academy Awards ensemble

Who on earth would dare deny how positively GORGEOUS Tarak looked on this night!? Head to toe, so exquisite, so dashing. The bejeweled tiger! The rich black velvet! The eye makeup! The natural hair! Everything to love.

4. Tony's baby face in Oosaravelli

I want to just grab his widdol cheeks and squish them!!! He looks like an angel! A cherub!!!! This is so obviously the cutest Tarak has ever looked, but he's still so fucking sexy and alluring??!?! HOW DOES HE DO IT???!!?!! I also love that liiiiiitle bit of edge he's giving with the earrings and the neck tattoo... even if it is just his own name, lmfao.

3. Ramakrishna's tank top in Rakhee

Look at this fucking BEAR!!!!!!!! I'm not gonna sugarcoat this, kids. Ramakrishna is fluffy and hot and sweaty and I bet he smells salty and I want to HUFF him so fucking bad. The lil beads of sweat take me out, god I love how raw and sexy and manly he is. Absolute HUNK, I fucking cannot say it any other way. This is a gay pornstar. I beat my meat.

2. Young Yama in Yamadonga

Oh COME ONNNN!!!! THIS is how His Majesty Nandamuri Taraka Rama Rao Jr. was meant to walk the earth: Clad in gold, dripping with jewels, eyeliner on fleek (or, as my mother would say, "on flique") just taking up ALL THE SPACE and commanding ALL THE ATTENTION. He wears regality so very well, so naturally, I become a bootlicking monarchist just looking at him!!! Drag me to hell, Young Yama!!!

1. Komuram Bheem's langoti in RRR.

Hey, you knew Bheema had to be number one!!!! I've never seen a human being look hotter than this, this is just PEAK. The body hair!!!! The nosering!!!!! The muscles!!!!!! He is fucking CUT, Tarak had to work so goddam hard for so long to look like this, I genuinely hope he never does anything like this again, but MY GOD the art is worth it. Shoutout to Rajamouli for not whitewashing him so we could behold the beauty and majesty of his real skin color!!!!! With his natural hair too!!?!?!? SEXIEST MAN WHO EVER LIVED, case closed, no argument, go home, we're done. Bheem is hot. Ram's a lucky man.

#oh goddam it i posted this to main instead of the tollywood sideblog lmfao #oh well #indian cinema fanboy things

[aesopsharpmybeloved]

Less than Holy

I finally went and did it. After more than two years I went and wrote a fanfiction. This is basically a Fix-It - Everyone lives/nobody dies, not even Pike the dog or Erin’s baby. There are also no vampi- I mean angels and Monsignor Pruitt is actually in a hospital on the mainland and not father Paul Hill at all.

Less than Holy - 7.6K

Of all the people you would expect to fall for, the priest was the absolute last one of them.

You were a promising young writer, already having published a few books, the last one being a bestseller in the US. And while your name could be seen in many bookshops around English speaking countries and some foreign ones, your face was a mystery to the public. Which suited you, really. Your favorite genre to write was supernatural horror. Ever since you were a little girl, there was just something thrilling about darkness and what may lurk within. You grew up passionately reading up on Ed and Lorraine Warren's supernatural cases, fell asleep to the classic stories by Mary Shelley and Sheridan Le Fanu, and watched the newest flicks in cinemas with bated breath and a content feeling.

That's how you ended up on Crockett Island. Originally, you were only staying there in order to write your latest book; it was a story about a small, lonely fishing town, just like this one. Strange, horrifying monsters from deep waters would start targeting poor unsuspecting people from the island, and pull them down from their boats and dinghies and into the water below. The only people who could stop it were a couple of teens. You were really trying to appeal to a younger audience too with this book. In order to better capture the atmosphere and characters in your story, you decided to find a place like the one in your book where you could stay while working on it - and there it was.

Crockett Island.

Tiny. Quiet. Only several dozen people lived there and everyone was special in their own way. At first, you were renting a small house. The people who used to live there had moved to the mainland some time prior; as did many others after the faithful spill some years ago. That's how you actually found out about Crockett. An ad in a local newspaper on the mainland later, and this really nice couple was offering you their house on Crockett for a very reasonable rent. 

The first few months were strange. Some citizens of Crockett observed you with distrust and apprehension, others were way more curious and friendly. Annie Flynn was among the latter group. Not two days after your arrival were you sitting in the Flynn family home, sharing dinner with their family of three. Four, said Annie. Her oldest son was currently off island, she said. It would take you some more time to find out that he's currently serving a sentence for manslaughter while DUI. You weren't one to judge. God knows you too participated in some wild parties and made a lot of bad decisions. Not ones quite so serious, true, but that didn't matter to you. You've grown quite close to the Flynn family over time. Also to the Scarboroughs, the Gunnings and the new sheriff and his son. 

Sheriff Hassan, just like you, was a newcomer to the island, and despite having come before you did, he seemed to have it even harder because of his religious beliefs. It took you no time at all to figure out that the folk on Crockett Island were quite religious and many of them attended the Sunday mass in the church of St. Patrick. Having not grown up in a religious household, everything you knew about religions was from what you've studied yourself, and while you didn't necessarily affiliate yourself with any of them, you did believe in some kind of higher power. 

Annie Flynn once invited you to tag along for the Sunday mass and you had agreed. The parish priest, Monsignor John Pruitt, was an older gentleman. His years were visibly catching up to him, and it was rather visible even to the untrained eye. While he was obviously absolutely devoted to his faith and had great knowledge of the holy book, his mind seemed to be wandering elsewhere from time to time. Even so, you enjoyed listening to his sermon, and it was obvious that he was well beloved by his flock. Unfortunately, this is where you finally came face to face with one not so lovely citizen of Crockett Island.

Miss Beverly Keane. Just the look she gave you as she noticed you among the crowd in front of the church. "So, you must be the outsider, then," she began, a thin, tense smile on her lips, but not within her eyes, "Annie Flynn's told me about you, of course. However, pardon me, if I'm mistaken, but you've been here for a few weeks now haven't you? This is the first time I see you here." You didn't like her expression one bit. Smug and self-righteous, as if she caught you in a lie. You suddenly felt like you've done something bad, and she was about to mock you for it and threaten to tell your parents. A stupid thought, really, but she did make you feel this way. "I'm not exactly a catholic. I'm not exactly anything either," you admitted honestly. You had no reason to lie. "But I'm open minded and I did read the Bible. I wanted to hear the sermon and also figured that this church," you motioned with your left hand, "is kind of the centre point for the island, isn't it. Since I'll be staying for a while, I thought I could perhaps meet the folk around here." The look on her face told you she wanted to retort with something, but she only took on the previous tense smile and said the important thing is that you're here now.

And then Erin came. 

Following old Mrs. Greene's (whom you didn't know very well) passing, her daughter Erin, who's been living off the island for years now, came to take care of her mother's funeral and ultimately decided to stay. You actually met her on the ferry as you were coming back from a trip on the mainland. You looked at her and she looked at you and you finally recognised you didn't recognise each other at all. And you started talking.

Since then, you stopped counting your days on the island. Your book was long since finished and published, yet you stayed. The family whose house you've been renting contacted you about possibly buying in from them, for a fair price. And you said yes. Your family offered to have the rest of your possessions delivered to Crockett. And you said yes. Erin asked you to come with her to every Sunday mass. And you said yes. For some reason, this small, sparsely populated town has started to feel like home. Things weren't perfect, but they were fine. Life was slow and quiet. The islanders warmed up to you, little by little, until you were one of their own. Their neighbour. And you found you could no longer imagine waking up and not smelling the crisp salty sea air. And life was fine.

---

"Sunday's tomorrow," said Erin off-handedly, folding some laundry on her dining table. You murmured in agreement, mostly just paying attention to the words you wrote on your laptop, and the mug of tea in your hand. It's become so normal. You and Erin would be at your or her place, talking, playing games, watching films, or just doing your own activities in each other's presence. "Monsignor Pruitt will be back," offered Erin again. You raised your eyes from the screen: "He made it back safe, then?" That made Erin pause. "Actually," she breathed in, "I don't know. Nobody's seen him yet, really. And, I mean, Bev's been putting welcome messages on the church side, and she gave him instructions and what not...Yeah, he'll be back."

You weren't quite so sure. The old man seemed rather confused when you first came. Months later, his health only worsened. You were in doubt that the trip to holy lands was the right call. While still not outright religious, you have grown fond of the monsignor, just as you have grown fond of everyone else, and you were rather worried about him the entire duration of his expedition.

The next day, you sat with Erin in your usual pew at Saint Patrick's. You saw her as she smiled at a boy whom you haven't seen before, sitting in a pew with Annie and Ed Flynn, but before you could ask her about him, the mass had begun. The churchgoers rose and opened their hymnals. You sang with them. Then, there was a strange moment. It seemed to you that some of the people's singing hitched, before returning to normal, while others stopped singing all together. You turned your head in curiosity and found yourself momentarily mute as well. Walking in a golden chasuble behind Warren Flynn and a boy named Ooker wasn't the old Monsignor Pruitt. Instead there was a total stranger. Tall and lean, with thick, wavy jet black hair, thick eyebrows, large dark eyes and, what you thought were, pretty lips. He too sang and his voice, rich and soulful, mesmerised you.

The stranger bowed down before the altar and took his stand behind it, facing his flock. You sat down. He introduced himself as Father Paul Hill and explained that Monsignor John Pruitt has fallen ill on his trip and won't be returning for the time being. He begins his sermon. You had quite enjoyed going to mass before, despite your near-atheism, and you liked the hymns and you liked hearing Monsignor Pruitt talk. But when Paul started talking, it felt like a fire had suddenly settled within your core. No, not a fire, a light. A gentle light emanating a pleasant warmth, definitely not a scorching, destructive fire. Monsignor Pruitt was devoted, and so was Father Paul, but Paul's young energy, and his passion for the word of god made Sunday mass seem like a performance, like an unreachable piece of art. You sat there, drinking in his every word and found yourself wanting to believe them. Wanting to believe him. Once everyone started getting up and lining up for communion, you sat behind, like you always did. Only this time, you weren't alone. The boy you saw earlier still sat in his pew as well. When everyone received their wafer and a sip of wine, they slowly started to stream out of the church. You were still so flabbergasted and amazed by Father Paul's sermon, you were actually one of the last ones to leave. From the church doors you saw Erin wink at you before she walked slowly away with the boy from earlier. 

Before you could make your way home too however, a figure stepped in front of you. "You must be (F/N) (L/N). Monsignor Pruitt mentioned you do not take communion," said Father Paul warmly.  You had to look up at him a bit, as he really was a tall man. There was a friendly smile on his face and his eyes were kind and inviting. So very unlike Bev Keane's upon your first interaction with her. You gazed into the priest's dark orbs and felt like you've known him your entire life, and like he knew you too. You felt instantly at ease, instantly trusting. "You see, I'm not a catholic. Not really. I'm not even baptised. It wouldn't be right." Father Paul smiles some more and nods in understanding. "Well, never too late to become one," you chuckle, "so I can believe you'll be honest with me and tell me what you, as a 'non-catholic' thought of my sermon?" The way he looks at you, keeping eye contact, with an air of confidence, but with no smugness or conceit, it makes you nearly instantly fond of him. You think for a moment, whether you should praise him for his skill, or play it cool and nonchalant. As always, you decided that honesty is key. "I was amazed," you said seriously, reciprocating his eye contact, "to be honest, I think many people genuinely believe in God thanks to their pastor. And you, um," you felt yourself blushing a bit and instinctively cast your eyes down, "I think you're very convincing." His smile faltered for the tiniest of moments and a strange look appeared in his eyes, before he grinned at you once more, and this time it was positively radiant, like a while of sunshine on a rainy day. "Convinced you, then?" he asks, his voice teasing, nearly mischievous. You couldn't keep yourself from smiling too, slightly coyly: "Oh, I don't know. I'll see next Sunday." You bid your farewell to Father Paul and went home. You'd deny it to anyone, but there was a bit of a pep in your step.

---

The Crock Pot Luck. Despite the town's small population, the spring festival was really something else. 

It was Ash Wednesday and Erin made you get your blessing and a sooty cross from Father Paul. You stood before him, closer than before and with your neck craned up more. Standing so close, you admired just how handsome he is, all soft lines and smouldering eyes. The corners of his lips twitched when he saw you. "Remember, (F/N), you are dust, and to dust you shall return" he spoke softly as he dipped his thumb into a bowl in his other hand which contained the ashes. He then brought his right hand up and very gently drew a cross on your forehead: "Bless you, my child."

So now you were sitting with Erin at a bench, listening to the live music, chatting amicably and people-watching. Since Erin was pregnant, she was nursing a lemonade with a paper straw and you treated yourself to a glass of wine you traded for your drink ticket. It was sunny and very mild for the beginning of spring, and you already took your jacket off and were only sitting in a light jumper. Erin was looking to the side of you. You gazed in the same direction and saw Father Paul and Riley Flynn talking on a bench near the edge of the festival. Erin's told you all about Riley after the first mass with Father Paul and actually introduced you to him. He was a nice guy, obviously guilt-ridden with what he's done and a bit unwell. However, it seemed that spending time in Erin's company is doing him good. "You should talk to him," you offered to Erin. She lifted her eyebrows questioningly. "You were, like, childhood sweethearts, weren't you. I mean, I can't tell you what to do, but I'm just saying it's obvious he still fancies you." She snorted and shook her head at you. After a moment she sighed and got up: "Well, since neither of us is drinking, I think I'm gonna treat him to a coffee then." You just winked at her and remained sitting. A short while later, the brown haired girl had a cup of coffee in each hand and was on her way to Riley and Father Paul.

You meanwhile returned to people watching. You took in the kids playing bean bag toss nearby and the good Doctor Gunning talking quietly to a lovely woman you hadn't seen before. Some people were dancing in front of the podium. "Is this seat free?" sounded behind you. You didn't even need to turn around, having recognised the priest's voice immediately. Instead you just smiled into your empty glass: "But of course, father, be my guest." And so he did. You grinned at him and noticed he brought two glasses of wine with him. Upon your questioning look, he offered: "I thought it an appropriate apology, seeing as I have pulled you out of your thoughts." He slid one of the glasses your way. As your own wine had long since disappeared, you gracefully accepted. The next few minutes you spent in friendly, comfortable silence, looking around, enjoying the day. 

Out of the corner of your eye you saw Joe Collie. He was, put mildly, not exactly in favour of the townspeople. Erin's told you about the hunting accident that put poor Leeza Scarborough in a wheelchair most likely for the rest of her life. You personally only talked to Joe a few times. He was nearly always already drunk, or just woke up after a night of drinking. While irresponsible and a slave to his addiction, the man genuinely didn't seem to a have malicious or cruel bone in his body. He went everywhere with his pupper, Pike. Pike was a sweet dog, very large, but amazingly cuddly and friendly, you slipped some treats his way every once in a while. Now it seemed though that somebody else was intent on feeding the mutt. Beverly Keane laid down a hot dog in front of him and walked away rather swiftly. You grew anxious. If there was a person on this island who hated this dog, it was Bev Keane and while not happy about the thought, you had serious doubts that the hot dog was some sort of peace offering. Without a word you rose and half walked, half ran to Pike, snatching the food away before he could as much as lick it. Pike whined unhappily and barked at you, which made Joe Collie turn around to look. "Hey, hey! What the fuck gives?" he growled at you, undecided between defensive and aggressive. You looked at him, the hot dog in your hand just out of Pike's reach with Pike himself whining and looking at you pleadingly. "You should be more careful. Don't let your dog eat something he shouldn't," with that you turned around, tossed the hot dog into a rubbish bin and went back to your seat.

"What was that supposed to mean?" asked Father Paul once you sat down again. You took a sip of your wine and looked around anxiously. "It's just that-" you scratched your neck, "look, I could be very very wrong and I'm not accusing anyone of anything, but," deep breath, "I saw Bev give Pike a hot dog. And she hates Pike, she tried to get Sheriff Hassan to put him down, just for barking at her. And Erin saw her in school yesterday, in the supply cabinet, fiddling with an entire canistre of poison. I just, I'd rather be safe than sorry." You could feel your cheeks heating up in embarrassment and noticed several people staring at you. There were Erin and Riley, their faces questioning and curious, Joe Collie (who has thankfully brought Pike close to him since then) looked confused and apprehensive, and last but not least; Bev Keane, who looked sour and right now probably wishing you ate that hot dog instead. Father Paul cleared his throat to get your attention: "Well, I'm sure it was nothing...But nevertheless, it's very Christian of you to look out for your neighbours like this." You gave him a small smile which he mirrored with his own, before he began speaking again: "Anyway, about Christianity-" you quietly groaned and rolled your eyes, but kept on smiling and listening.

You and Father Paul had talked late into the evening. It had started as a friendly discussion about religion and Christianity, slowly progressed to getting to know each other and stories of your lives before coming to Crockett Island, before finally becoming a pleasant banter about everything and nothing. The band has long since abandoned the stage, people had packed up the tents and most of those few who remained were currently sitting around a bonfire, talking, singing, or just relaxing. Darkness has fallen and enveloped you and Father Paul like a comforting blanket. You could barely see his face, the only light sources being the bonfire some 60 feet away and a lone street light even farther. A nice feeling of fatigue has started to come over you and you barely stifled a yawn. Father Paul noticed and even in the dim light you could see the white of his teeth flash in a grin. "I can't see my watches, but I'm going to guess it's late," he said with an amused tone. You fished out your phone out of the pocket of your jacket, which you put back on when the temperature dropped with the oncoming night, and glanced at the screen. You immediately regretted it, as you had kept the brightness on 100% and felt like your retina was about to burn to ashes. "It's not even that late, to be honest," you said, trying to cover up another yawn fighting its way through you, "just after half past nine. But I didn't get much sleep yesterday, so I'm a bit tired." You put your phone back into your pocket. Father Hill stood up and reached out a hand to you. You looked at him questioningly. "I'll walk you home," he clarified. You've been living on Crocket Island for quite some time, walked the entire place (including the cat filled Uppards) many times and you were pretty sure you could find your way home blindfolded. Not to mention it's perfectly safe for a woman to walk home alone at night here. 

And yet.

And yet you took the Father's offered hand and let him pull you to your feet. He then repositioned your hand to his right arm and started walking. "My, my, father, who knew priests were such gentlemen?" you teased him softly but let him walk you anyway. Truth be told, it felt nice to be in the centre of attention of such a handsome man. 'The handsome man is a priest' spoke a guilty voice in your head, but you managed to quiet it down. You weren't doing anything bad, therefore you had no reason to feel guilty. A friendly priest was simply escorting you home to make sure you're safe from the dangers of... um, stray cats, you supposed. "I'd simply hate for you to fall asleep somewhere on your way because I kept you so long." Or that, that works too, you thought to yourself and chuckled and he followed suit.

When you reached your front door, you let go of his arm to find your keys. You learnt that many people on the island don't lock their homes, even if they're asleep or not present, and while the safety of the island was one of the reasons you stayed, you still didn't feel comfortable just leaving your door unlocked. Finally you found your keys and opened the door. "Would you," you began, turning back around to face Paul, "would you like something, like a cup of tea, or a cocoa?" Father Paul smiled and you could see him better now since you were standing closer to a street lamp. "Are you not tired anymore?" he teased. "Oh, I am, a bit, but you're obviously not," you countered in the same tone, "so you can have a cuppa and go home afterwards and I'll just pass out on the couch." Father Paul laughed earnestly at that and it was one of the most beautiful sounds you've ever heard. One of the prettiest sights too. "You're very kind, and I'll surely take you up on that offer sometime, but tonight I'll leave you to get your beauty sleep," he said with that same kind and honest smile you were sure he probably got patented and turned to leave. Before he did though, he couldn't quite stop himself from one last retort: "I'll see you in mass on Sunday. Let's see about that convincing." Wink. He just winked at you. You couldn't help but giggle and roll your eyes: "Good night, father," you said cheekily as you retreated into your house and shut the door. 

As you set about your evening routine, you couldn't stop thinking about him. True, your mind was on other things too, like Erin and Riley's rediscovered affection, poor Leeza in her wheelchair, and the (in your eyes) very real danger of Bev Keane almost killing Joe Collie's dog. But everytime your mind came back to him. You thought about his eyes, how they looked at every stage of the sunset and how the light in them seemed to shine even after the sun submerged itself below the horizon completely. And you thought about his voice, how it always slightly changed with the matter discussed, from serious and intense, to light and amused. And right before you drifted off to sleep you allowed yourself to think of the priest's pretty, kissable lips. Just for that tiny little moment.

---

You probably just became religious.

All you could do was gawk like a demented owl as Leeza Scarborough took a step after step towards Father Paul to get her communion. Your expression wasn't that different from other people in the church. Many had their mouths open in which would in any other situation be a hilarious way. Some people were tearing up. Some were praying hard. Leeza's parents, Wade and Dolly were ugly sobbing and covering their mouths. Leeza then turned around to face everyone. You've never seen anyone's face containing so many emotions at once. Shock and disbelief soon turned to a look of ecstasy, so wild and raw and unhinged, just looking at her you wanted to scream and laugh and cry in manic happiness. For the first time in your life, you folded your hands together, bent down slightly and started praying. You thanked God, thanked him for letting Leeza walk again, thanked him for showing the young girl his mercy and humbly asked that he keep her healthy. After your quiet 'Amen' you felt another hand enveloping yours. It was Erin. She took you hand in hers and held it tight, looked at you with tears in her eyes and without a word the two of you embraced hard. She then wiped her other hand over her face to clean off the few tears that escaped. The mass ended soon afterwards. The Scarboroughs thanked Father Paul profusely, before excusing themselves in order to visit Dr Gunning about their daughter's miraculous healing. Erin and Riley left together once more and many others walked away in groups, talking loudly and praying among themselves. Just like after the first mass with Father Paul, you were bewildered and stayed behind. 

"If you don't believe in God after this, I'm not sure what else you want," sounded an acerbic voice from somewhere to the side. Turning your head, you saw Bev Keane. You hadn't spoken to her at all after Crock Pot Luck and when she tried to approach you, you hurriedly made yourself look busy or caught in a conversation with someone else. It wasn't strange for you to chat up Sheriff Hassan amicably for quite a while, but this one particular while was so long, even he noticed. After Bev got tired of waiting and left, you awkwardly explained your predicament and he immediately nodded his head in understanding. Right now, though, there was really nobody to save you from this woman, and you couldn't exactly manifest a hammer and nails out of thin air to tell her you were busy, what, reinforcing the church walls?

So you accepted your fate, stood up from the pew and went to face her straight on, feeling like a knight about to fight a dragon. She observed you coldly, like usual, but when you looked into her eyes, you realised something. She knew. She knew you saw her giving Pike the hot dog. And in that moment, you also knew that you were right to step in. "Oh, but I never said I didn't believe in God," you said softly, trying to appear as calm and polite as you could, "I just said I'm not Catholic, that I don't have a religion." That seemed to take the wind out of her sails, but she recovered quickly: "Well then, maybe you'll reconsider. You're not really local, so you wouldn't know, but religion is a big part of this community. You see, you come here every Sunday, accept blessings and get to experience God's miracles right before your eyes and still you won't join us,won't commit yourself? Won't give anything back to the community?" Now was your turn to shut up and stare at her, disbelief fetched on your face. "What are you saying?" you asked quietly. Bev smiled at you, a mean smile: "I'm only saying, that if you really do plan on, well, staying here, on this island, the very least you could do is try to fit in and become a part of this community, not just leech on it."

You could feel tears starting to form in your eyes. You knew she was a cruel woman, that she was trying to purposely hurt you, but a small voice inside your head started asking the little nasty questions anyway. 'Am I really leeching on these people?', 'Should I just go and become a catholic? Will I be driven out if I won't?', 'Am I not welcomed here anymore? Should I stop going here?' You tried to will yourself, you tried to be strong, to gather the courage to tell her off, but a single tear had already rolled over the edge and landed on your cheek, slowly running down all the way to your chin and then falling down onto the wooden floor of Saint Patrick's it fell.

"That's enough," said a different voice, one that made you quickly wipe the tear track off your cheek with the sleeve of your jumper and made Bev Keane freeze like a statue. A gentle hand landed on your right shoulder and a comforting warmth settled on your left side as Father Paul appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, to your rescue. "Beverly, this is the house of God," he said, and while he was as soft-spoken as he always is, there was a stern and cold undertone in his rich voice, "The doors are always open just as the gates are always open, to anyone and everyone who comes with peace and humility. One's religion is one's own choice and I am more than happy to interpret from the Bible to all, be they Catholic or not." Bev just stared at him, her expression that of a child who knew they were caught doing something bad, but weren't feeling guilty about it. "I didn't mean anything by it," she said in the most sickeningly sweet voice and smiled, "I was only imploring our friend to consider her decisions. Father, (F/N) (L/N)." And with that she'd spun on her heel and left. 

Father Paul's arm was still wrapped gently around your shoulders. You stood, your look transfixed to the ground where your tear fell and you felt terribly tiny. Just fifteen minutes ago, you felt over the moon with happiness and gratefulness for little Leeza and now you just wanted to go home, bury yourself under pillows and blankets and never leave the house again. "Come on," said Father Paul, the coldness in his voice gone and replaced with comfort, "let's get you some tea." He led you out the back of the church, still with his arm around you, and you let him. Before you knew it, you were at the rectory and he opened the door. His home was humble, there was a small sofa on the left of the door sat in front of an old telly. On the right was a desk and several chairs. Behind them stood a tall bookshelf filled with books. On the far left side was a kitchen with the basic necessities, a stove with an oven, a sink, and an old-timey refrigerator. To the back of the room were doors leading to Father Paul's bedroom.  You presumed the bathroom was somewhere in the back.

Father Paul sat you down onto the tiny sofa and set about making you a cup of tea. You sat quietly for a while, just staring into space. “Am I really just leeching off these people?” you couldn’t stop yourself from saying out loud. The priest ceased his movement just as he was about to put the kettle on. After a second or two, he finally fired the stove up and put the kettle down. “No,” he said and came slowly into your view. Father Paul, young, fit, and already beloved and respected by his congregation, got to his knee in front of you and grasped your hands, “No, you’re not. You came to an island which most people leave and decided to stay. You care about these people, you try to help them as best as you can and you are actively trying to be one of them. And they see it. They realise it. And even if you never become religious, if you never come to get your holy communion, you’ll always have your place here. On this island, with these people, in this church. So don’t let what Bev says get to you, okay?” New tears were threatening to spill as you listened to Father Paul. You felt a soft finger underneath your chin and you looked up into the pastor’s soft, gentle eyes. And when you did, he gave you the kindest smile yet. And even as you did let the tears fall freely, you smiled right back at him.

—

It became something of a habit. At least twice a week you and Father Paul would meet outside of church, either at your home or the rectory, for a cup of tea and a chat. Ever since the little incident with Bev, you found that you could talk more freely with him. About everything, really. You talked some more about religion and Catholicism and he explained to you how one who wasn't born into a catholic family and baptised even becomes a catholic. Seeing as you had no knowledge about actually entering the church, your brain spun from all the information rather quickly. That some people can spend whole years as catechumens, before they're actually ready to be baptised and that the rite of election usually starts on the first Sunday of lent. The actual initiation to catholic church then takes place on Easter vigil. It was a lot to take in, but Father Paul remained forever patient, and always willing to explain. 

You talked about many other things too. You learned some time ago that he had taken it upon himself to lead a local AA group, so that Riley didn't need to waste the entire day away just to go to and from the mainland. Paul came around one evening looking very happy and proud. He told you about Joe Collie, whom Leeza Scarborough forgave the bizarre 'hunting' accident and who in turn decided to give up drinking. You enthusiastically listened to him talk about homilies he was preparing and the awaited Easter vigil. He even shared some not so public stories, like how he found Warren Flynn secretly snogging Leeza behind the church after one of the masses, or how he heard Erin pray for the health of her baby and had a hard time keeping from chuckling as he overheard her whisper 'Oh, and please let it be a girl, amen' before she ran out of the church. You in turn told him about a new book you were working on, or about your attempts at drawing and painting. You once invited him out for a walk through the small forest behind the church and he happily accepted. And that became a habit too. 

However, with every day, every cup of tea, every walk and every Sunday mass, it became more and more difficult for you to be in Paul's almost saintly presence and stop yourself from thinking positively sinful thoughts. More and more you find yourself looking at his beautiful lips, thinking how velvety soft they must be and how sweet they must taste. When he puts his large gentle hand on the small of your back, you find yourself wishing he'd take your face in his hands, or run his elegant fingers through your hair. When he wraps an arm around your shoulders amicably, all you see in your mind's eye are his long, strong arms enveloping you in their heat and safety until you know nothing else. And when he speaks, you imagine lying with him, your head resting on his chest, listening to his heartbeat and his voice, as he talks to you softly. Not to mention the even more wickedly sinful impure thoughts. All in all, you found yourself desperately, maddly and absolutely in love with your friend, who just so happens to be a catholic priest. 

As Easter vigil approached, it became even harder, as Paul seemed to always find a reason to touch you. Brushing his fingers along yours as he was handing you your tea, or laying his hand on yours after you had made him laugh. When on a walk, he'd put his hand on your back more often than not and once, when he discovered a lovely place that overlooked the entire island, he actually led you there by hand, linking your fingers together. You decided you couldn't live like this anymore. To know you love someone and feel them so close to you, only to have them taken away again as reality kicks in feels like a heartbreak every time. To love someone as a friend and needing to have constant self control over yourself, else you let your instincts take over and risk driving the person away is exhausting. And honestly, you weren't even sure what was worse. When Paul once told you 'I'm so glad you're here with me' with that smile of his and the ever so kind and gentle look in his eyes, you wanted to tell him. You wanted to kiss him, to fly into his arms and never leave them and hating yourself for the very thought. And as much as he was fond of you, you knew that he would never leave his flock, wouldn't turn his back to his god for an earthly temptation, and therefore you would never actually know what it was like to kiss him. 

Some people took notice of your rotten mood whenever you came down from the high you got when in his presence. Annie tried to cheer you up by her cooking, for which you were eternally grateful, but it didn't help. Sheriff Hassan tried to lift your spirits by telling your far fetched and utterly ridiculous stories from his time as a policeman. You did laugh at all of them, but it didn't help. You could spend hours and hours playing with Pike, but it would never be enough. Erin was the only one who actually addressed the issue openly, pleading with you to tell her what is actually wrong. And, for some bizarre reason, you actually did. You told her about your infatuation with Father Paul and how much he means to you not only as a priest and a friend, but also as a man. Erin listened. She didn't judge you and she didn't mock you. She didn't call you a sinner and she didn't even chastise you. After what felt like hours of you spilling all of your frustration with your predicament, she finally spoke: "You should tell him." "What?" you sputtered, bewildered. "You heard me," she said, "you should tell him. If anything, you'll get it out of your system. Maybe it'll get better." You sat down heavily on her couch and put your head in your hands. You sighed and muttered into your palms. "What was that?" said Erin, genuinely not having understood you. You looked up at her, miserably: "What if he hates me?" You honestly felt like crying, but strangely dull at the same time. "He could never hate you. You're probably his most favourite person on this island, if all the little forest dates are anything to go by," Erin said, amused. You however felt there was nothing humorous about your situation and only covered your face again. "He won't hate you. Just tell him. Maybe you'll even be surprised." Those were words you'd desperately wanted to believe, but found it difficult to. "He's a priest, Erin. After Leeza, nearly the entire island attends his mass. I even saw Joe hanging around at the last one… There's no way… To be honest I-" you stopped for a moment, "I think it might be better if I left."

Neither of you said anything for the longest time. You were softly weeping into your hands while Erin stared at the back of your head in disbelief. "You… You would actually leave? You'd actually leave this all behind?" she was saying as if it was physically impossible to imagine such a thing, "you would leave me and the little one? You would just pack up and leave your home, your neighbours, even after they finally accepted you as one of their own? I'm sorry (Y/N), but that's bullshit!" You winced at the shrill of her voice. "That's bullshit and you know it. Come on," her voice went down again as she noticed your shoulders shake. Gently she rubbed circles into your back before taking a hold of your wrists with her free hand and pulling them away from your face. "Do you mean that?" she then asked, her voice quiet and soft now, "would you actually leave me here all on my own, the only sane woman?" Through teary eyes you looked at her and truthfully admitted: "I would never leave you behind." Erin pulled you close, put your head on her shoulder and made small shushing noises as you gradually calmed down. "I'll tell him," you promised then, "after the Easter vigil."

—

The Easter vigil in Saint Patrick's was a beautiful thing to experience. The entire island, including you, walked to the church using candles to light your way while singing hymns. You felt so entirely light as you walked next to the Scarboroughs and the Flynns. You sang too, and you let your heart replace your brain momentarily, just so you could enjoy the celebration. You let the amazing blessed things fall on your shoulders at once. The Flynn family and their reconciliation, the Scarboroughs and their miracle, Erin and her little one, Joe Collie and his ultimate sign to be a better man. All at once you felt the goodness. And it nearly brought a tear to your eye. Good things are still happening and there are good people to experience them. But this all faded as you laid your eyes on Father Paul. He read from the old books up until the crucifiction of Christ, his death and his revival. And while you deeply enjoyed hearing him talk, you suddenly felt like there was a stone blocking your airway. And you felt like it would suffocate you surely, until-

"So how's that for convincing?" asked Father Paul. All people present were slowly leaving the church. Erin looked at you once, gave you a nod, and then left with Riley. "Listen, um," you looked up at him, and your desperation was probably very visible in your eyes, for his entire focus shifted to you, "I need to talk to you. Privately." 

Father Paul just nodded and took your hand once more. He didn't let go until you were in the rectory, sat on his bed for some reason. Only then did he ask what's on your mind. It was so quick you hadn't even been able to build your defenses,or make any sort of back up plan, etc. You just decided to speak. 

"I can't become a catholic," you blurted out, feeling a bit sick to your stomach. "Oh," said Father Paul immediately, "why not?" "Because I'm sinning right now, father…" "Why is that?" said Father Paul, his cool facade melting ever so slowly. "Because I'm wanting, father. Because I'm lusting. I'm lusting after a man of the cloth and I feel like I love him. I'm a sinner,  because I wish to feel his warmth close to me and I wish to be on his mind always. I want him to kiss me senseless and make me his. Forgive me father, for I have sinned and I am sinning as we speak." You caught your breath finally and looked into Father Paul's eyes. They were nearly unreadable to you, but you saw something within them anyway. A hunger. And when you looked a little closer, you saw there was something you could only call love too. 

Father Paul Hill slowly wrapped his arms around you and pressed his soft lips upon yours. And for a little while you felt like you were lost. Lost in the divine sensation of sweet soft lips melting against your own. Your fingers tangled into his hair and he grabbed you as if you were the only thing keeping him alive. You moaned softly as he pulled you into his lap. Being so close to him, your entire brain shut down and you only felt the sensations. The sensation of him kissing up and down your neck, of his arms linking around you so tightly, of teeth nibbling on each inch of exposed skin. You were so lost in pleasure and adoration you almost missed the one sentence you wished to hear, but never thought you actually would. "I love you," sighed Father Paul inbetween kisses. You gasped, but recovered very quickly and pulled him tighter into you. Gently, you grasped at his raven locks and made him look at your face; in your eyes. "I love you too," you replied and pulled him close once more. So forbidden and yet so right, you had no idea what would happen next. One thing you did know though; as long as you and Father Paul laid upon his bed, your lips red and swollen from kissing and your hearts light and filled with love - Life is going to be just fine. 

I hope you liked it. I’ll be a happy little sucker if you tell me whatcha think or check this story out on AO3 thank xx

#midnight mass #fanfiction #father paul hill #father paul #father paul x reader #father paul/reader #i love you hamish linklater #erin greene #riley flynn #fluff #no smut #sfw #everyone lives au #nobody dies #fix-it #no vampires au #midnight mass fanfiction

[totentnz]

V, #14 😈

Dark OC Asks

14. What is your OC's "villain song"?

now there is at least two answers for this, i have many many thoughts on the topics and i hope i can get em all out lmao

IM BETTER

i LOVE a good joker arc, some defining moment in a characters life that just breaks or changes them in some way, this doesn't fully happen for v but she stands on the precipice plenty of times.

namely the vdb debacle and when she gains control of the blackwall via songbird. (there might be more but it's been a minute since i properly played)

now what do these two instances have in common? netrunning/ hacking. this song (and others like it) always get me thinking about v getting lost in the power she holds with her quickhacks.

a cyberdeck wasn't even her first choice, she wanted berserk in combination with gorilla arms but viktor refuses to install them for her. she could go to a different ripper to get them obviously but he's the only doc she trusts and who won't rat her out to the authorities for having cracked soft. (this explanation is a bit underbaked i will admit) she also knows he's lowkey right, she cannot be trusted with that kind of chrome.

now one could argue that being able to kill people via command does more damage than a pissed off ape but maybe she can control herself better than vik gives her credit for. or maybe he's not too familiar with netrunning/ hacking.

there is also the aspect of v knowing exactly what happens when she uses a hack, she wrote the code herself. (i'm not saying she invented them but they are her own versions, either written from scratch or modified some way)

my favourite example for this is the suicide quickhack: v takes control of the target for a few moments, she has to raise the gun, she has to pull the trigger, she has to leave the person's consciousness before they die but not too early or they will flinch away at the last moment. she doesn't die if she stays too long but the repercussions can be dire anyway: she passes out, there is psychological damage etc. if the target is right and she executes it well it can be pretty fun though, sort of like playing russian roulette but without dying.

but to get back on topic: i LOVE the mental image of her just standing in the middle of a bunch of enemies, activating overclock to wreak havoc on them AND herself.

i also enjoy copy-paste - she makes herself an easy target for another runner just to pull this out of her sleeve and fuck them over so much more, she simply IS better.

this mindset is also reflected in her aversion to chrome, she doesn't need it or rather she doesn't want it. she is better than them, she is built different. now that is simply not true, she can tell herself that lie as often as she likes but she needs cyberware to keep up. (i actually have a background story for this, maybe i will even write it one day)

so she slowly begins to betray herself: she replaces her glass eye with kiroshis, she installs extra ram, she gets the reinforced tendons. these changes come slowly and her body is still mostly ganic by the end of the game but in quiet moments she hates herself for caving in and for enjoying it.

ultimately: power corrupts, nobody is immune to that.

EAT THE CHILDREN

any otep song tbh, since it's the band i chose to use for rotten (her band) and v turns into the worst version of herself when she's on stage. it's one of the reasons she decided to end the band in the first place, though everyone involved just thinks she was being asshole (they ain't wrong)

her whole band era was a double edged sword, on one hand she finally had a voice and was adored by some but at the same time she had never been more miserable. their songs are filled with her traumas and that puts her back into a powerless position, add the adrenaline of being on stage and you get a truly volatile concoction.

#sammy says shit #thank u bestie :3c #oc:v #i hope this made sense lmao #also im giving myself a tap on the shoulder for not talking about johnny :] #obviously he plays a part in this but.... this felt better #also also i dont think i got all of the thoughts out but i didnt want to stray too far

[the-berf]

The Beef wasn't exactly in the best location in the city. Sure, there was decent footfall but there was also a turf war and they were on the clash line. In a way it was inevitable that someone would take one look and decide it was the kind of place that could be robbed.

"Hand over your money and nobody gets hurt."

Richie almost laughed until he looked up and saw a gun pointed at him. Palms up to placate, he raised his eyebrows.

"Well fuck me, you're serious. You sure you want to do this?" The safety clicked off and Richie cleared his throat. "Sure. I hope you like disappointment. Let me just-" a hand slowly lowered to the till. "-get you all...uh...fifty three dollars and, heh, sixty-nine cents."

The robber stared at him, incredulous. "That seriously all you got?"

"Post-covid, most people pay card, you know?"

"Don't shit me. Where's your safe?"

Of course Carmy had to stick his stupid nose into things in that very moment. He took in the scene with almost amusement until the gun was levelled at him. Then his face shuttered off, blank and tight.

"Yo. Why you threatening my cousin?" The robber's hand wavered as Carmy approached and stood firmly in front of the counter, shielding Richie with his own body. "Are you seriously trying to rob us?"

"Get me to your safe. Now!"

Leaning in, arms crossed over his chest and cocky, Carmy was almost gleeful to reply, "No."

Richie half expected the gun to go off. Instead, the robber spun it and pistol whipped Carmy who staggered under the blow, trying to catch himself on the counter. Rather than rally, he sank down into a boneless heap as he lost consciousness.

"Shit." Richie peerer over the counter. "Cuz?" No response. "Carmen? Cousin? You good?" In the silence he looked up at the robber. "The fuck you do that for? Did you kill him?!"

The robber turned and ran, leaving Richie to vault over the counter as he rushed to Carmy's side. Thank fuck he was breathing.

"Can I get some hands here!" He yelled, trusting someone, anyone, to come help. Sure enough, Tina appeared a moment later and was sent running for ice. She returned with that and Syd in tow.

"Who's the first aider here?"

To Syd's question Tina pointed at Carmy. Of course it had to be him.

"Some jagoff pistol whipped him. Don't think that's covered in any course." Richie pressed the ice to where Carmy had been struck and he could have cried in relief that it seemed to help bring him round. That relief didn't last long though because the groan turned into a squirm then it was a matter of trying to help flip Carmy so he didn't choke on his own puke. Once he seemed done, eyes blinking against the lights, Richie leaned over him to get a good look.

"Cousin?"

"Fuck." Maybe Carmy was better than expected, if he responded in such a Carmy-like way. Except his eyes were looking around, squinting but his breath hitched. "Wha-? Why? Mikey's gonna kill me."

Heart squeezing, Richie was saved from having to try and reply by Syd butting in.

"Hey Carmy. How you doing?"

Blinking hard, Carmy obviously had trouble focusing. But that was probably the least of their worries when the next question out of his mouth was, "Who the fuck are you?"

"Oookay." Syd leaned back. "Is that weird? Because that's weird to me."

Only expletives crossed Richie's mind. They needed Carmy comfortable and out of the public eye in order to figure out what was going on. Nodding to himself, he came up with a plan on the fly.

"Syd, close up. Carmen, I'm going to take you to the office. Tina, call Nat then help Syd."

"No!" The protest was near panicked from Carmy and he groaned, hand going to his head which was probably pounding. "He can't see me. He'll kill me. Said I was banned."

There were only so many times Richie's heart could be ripped from his chest. He couldn't handle telling Carmy the truth about Mikey. Couldn't bear the idea of seeing him learn the truth again. So he lied. Lied to protect them both.

"It's his day off. He'll never know. Don't you worry."

Scooping Carmy up, he groaned. For all appearances, his cousin sure was compact. Thankfully the route to the office had been cleared and Richie deposited him on the couch. At the telling groan, he put the trashcan next to Carmy for good measure.

"Thanks. How's Tiff?"

Just when Richie thought things couldn't get worse, they did. He needed to stop being such an optimist about how much lower the bar could get. Bending the truth by omission, he cleared his throat.

"Good. She's good. You?"

The hollow laugh from Carmy was answer enough but he deigned to add words. "Banned from the family restaurant no matter what I achieve. Mikey won't pick up the phone anymore. Sugar keeps telling me to call Mom. I live for the moment service finishes so I can go for a smoke. So yeah, great."

Talking was good, right? Richie had a vague recollection of not letting people sleep if they hit their head. Or was it when they took certain drugs? He'd be fucked if he could remember.

Thankfully the office door clicked open and Nat stepped in. Richie wished he hadn't been watching Carmy. Emotions flashed over his face as Nat's appearance triggered memories. Disbelief, horror, grief, misery all followed in quick succession. At least he had the presence of mind to grab the trashcan to hurl into. Not that there was much to come up other than a bit more pepto.

"Oh Carm." Nat perched gingerly on the couch and rubbed his back.

All of a sudden, Richie felt like he was intruding. This was a moment between siblings and he was nothing more than an interloper.

Looking up, Carmy's eyes were large and watery. Whether from throwing up or the onslaught of emotions at remembering Mikey's death was neither here nor there. However, it gave Richie the perfect view of mismatched pupils and he cursed under his breath. They needed to get Carmy to hospital.

#carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto #richie jerimovich #natalie berzatto #carmy & richie #carmy & nat #carmy whump #the bear #the bear fx #the bear hulu #cw concussion #cw robbery

[nevergeneralize]

Moriarty the Patriot meta:

The Man: James Bonde, Agency and Gender Euphoria

[yuukoku no moriarty spoilers for anime/manga scandal in Bohemia arc] [also this got so long wow who would have thought i had so many thoughts about my best boy]

[he/him pronouns for yuumori Bonde/Adler, she/her pronouns for Holmes-canon Adler]

Everything about the James Bonde reveal is so perfect to me. It’s Holmes-canon that Irene feels comfortable cross-dressing so that would be a fun slightly unhinged direction to take even though it could go so wrong and I was so braced for it to be a Bad Take.

I was so ready to have my heart broken but you beat the odds you stunning son of a gun

But then. Irene/Bonde becomes a perfect transmasculine fantasy, Irene is The Woman and Bond(e), who he becomes instantly and nearly seamlessly, is most definitely The Man, always the embodiment of super cis hetero masculinity, reincarnated forever to fit whatever that means for the times. (We like hairy womanizers because it’s the 70s so that’s who Bond is. We like Conflicted Dark Thoughtful Protagonists because it’s the 00s so that’s who Bond is. Etc.) And now. And NOW. Bond is again THE MAN, perfect masculine sex symbol, evolved from The Woman, a character who was actually a gender symbol to Holmes, and then became a more conventionally-understood sex(ualized) symbol only by repeated reinterpretation, meaning, yknow, lazily written misogynistic takes on Adler.

(I am forever yelling about how No One Understands A Scandal in Bohemia so, quick explanation of what I mean by that:) Adler’s whole (Holmes-canon) deal was taking back agency over her love life and sexual decisions from men who by default didn’t believe she deserved that autonomy. And then basically every adaptation of A Scandal in Bohemia has gone and done that to her metatextually by making her a manipulative criminal mastermind and/or some kind of super famous courtesan and/or serial blackmailer, explaining her behavior the maximally sexy way rather than honoring the (imho) more interesting original motivation to just move on from an old relationship but not believing she’d be allowed to do so without drastic measures. And also her non-criminal background is so much more interesting as a foil for Sherlock Holmes in that she’s not trained over a lifetime to be that foil, she is a regular fairly clever person who just happens to be overlooked by his prejudice, a lesson he explicitly tries to take to heart, making her “The Woman,” his personal model of all womanhood, remembering her as a worthy adversary.

And this version gets the same sexist setup, except that Adler made it up. Sherlock gets to learn the same lesson but Adler is involved in something totally different, and the whole Scandal in Bohemia story was a fabrication — Adler doesn’t just finally get agency back, Adler basically gets authorship of the canon story. (The government secrets situation, the actual tension in this version, is obviously out of Adler’s control but also kind of out of everyone’s hands.) And I think it’s important that Adler plays this role of a woman, The Woman, perfectly, to set up what comes later. I am reminded of a Daniel Lavery essay about the transmasculine impulse to defend one’s prior femininity — “a desire to maintain that one didn’t transition out of necessity but desire: being a woman is hard but I was good at it, I think is the underlying anxiety, nobody fired me, I quit.” The perfection of Irene Adler’s presentation as a woman neatly prevents the idea that transition might be an action taken with a kind of resignation (“I failed to be a woman”) rather than agency and positive desire (“I am and wanted to be a man”), relating nicely to agency and personal choice as a major theme from Holmes-canon Adler.

So then Moriarty the Patriot takes James Bond, The Man, a sex symbol but always in control of his sexuality because his masculinity grants him that privilege, and bestows that identity on a character whose sexuality has always been textually and metatextually out of that character’s hands. And he’s perfect at it, immediately, his transition is instantaneous (and with later argument only from Moran the stock Straight Guy Who Doesn’t Quite Get It, and his status as a man is not even defended so much as stated: it’s a basic, obvious fact confirmed by William as the voice of leadership and Louis as the voice of pragmatism). The transition scene obviously brought to mind another moment that looms large in my personal transmasc mythos, the Disney Mulan fantasy of cutting off your hair and that magically Makes a Man Out of You, except Mulan spends the movie kind of being visibly bad at Man Things and earns her power when she returns to her gender like masculinity was the unknown land on the hero’s journey, and Bonde’s hair cut scene equally set my brain on fire but with the payoff of actually being instant magical transition.

Look at him!!!!! That’s the man!!!!!!!!

I don’t know how other people feel about the name situation (certainly at least a little unusual to not choose one’s own) but I personally love the idea that Bonde is granted a shared first name, a brotherhood, and gets to choose his last name and discard the patronymic, breaking with patriarchal tradition but fitting into a new kind of family that has some of its own customs which he gets to be a part of. (This also fits the queer life pattern of learning about queer identity and culture by horizontal/peer association (brotherhood) rather than vertical/family association (fatherhood). Or more simply, hey look Found Family Trope.)

And this interpretation feels so joyous to me. Amidst all the crime drama we get a relatively positive and bright and uncomplicated character who is taking visible joy in his new identity, strutting around town being The Man, late to important mission meetings because he wants to try out a new car, flirting and winking all the time because now he gets to be in charge of that kind of interaction, inventing new drinks that sound pretty terrible, being playfully over-familiar with everyone he meets. I love that some of this borrows from who he was as Adler, and some of it manages to re-cast the sort of icky James Bond tradition of reveling in masculine power into simple fresh gender euphoria — arguably the performance of Bond’s hypermasculine persona was always a certain kind of gender euphoria, but too often at women’s expense, and now it’s not, because this Bonde is explicitly a little protective of women’s boundaries, taking the bar fight opportunity to get someone out of an uncomfortable situation, and being only reservedly flirtatious with Moneypenny (again we use Moran for Slightly Confused Straight Guy contrast here).

And this choice of Bonde’s origin also feels so generous to me, a gift for my little gay heart. “James Bond is yours now, transmascs,” says Moriarty the Patriot, “it’s your time to be The Man.” I just. Love this series so much. It’s always the opposite of queer baiting. It’s a subtle invitation to a queer feast, with a family who would happily and immediately call you brother if that’s what you ask.

#yuukoku no moriarty #meta #ynm spoilers #ynm james bond #moriarty the patriot #yuumori #james bonde #pls don’t cancel me for calling Moran the stock straight guy if u hc him as something else that’s ur business #my point is about his function in these scenes as The Avatar of Traditional Masculinity and Straight Guy Behavior #i love Moran but he gets the morigang yearbook award for least woke every year #yuumori meta

[whenyourshipfinallysetssail]

Just some random

STRANGER THOUGHTS 2

***SPOILERS FOR SEASON 4***

*****My smoldering hot-takes on the season’s hottest DILF. 🥵******

Jeezus, is it a million and one degrees in here, or am I trapped in a Russian Prison with Enzo?

See, that’s funny because you’d think a Russian prison would be cold, but then there’s a hot DILF in there.

Question number one: ok yeah enemies to lovers but has anyone ever tried “helpful prison guard to sexy cell mate?” Is that a trope? Can we make it one?

Now you’re probably asking yourself, does this crazy bitch ship Hopper and Enzo?

And the answer is yes, of course I do, but not in an “I’m gonna be mad if this show doesn’t make this cannon” sort of way. I know nobody is queer-baiting me here. If anyone is queer-baiting me it’s me. I’m very good at it, thank you very much. I can imagine incredibly straight men are in love when they’re on screen together in my eyeline for too long. That said, Ronance, Steddie, Byler, and Jargyle: make it canon or we riot. [How fucking dumb was it when they just threw a random chick at Argyle to show the audience he’s got a big case of the not-gays? Who cares. This show loves smashing straights against each other. Show me some bi 80’s teens or shut the fuck up. Also, watch out, everybody, cause the Mileven Mafia is about to come gunning for me: I don’t give one single fuck about Mike and El’s relationship and I never have. El’s busy, guys. She’s got a whole “facing down an inter-dimensional existential threat/I’ve got two dads but one is abusive and one’s in a gulag” thing going on. Fuckin’ don’t make her date a boy right now.]

Now, back to that gulag. Ah, Enzo. Dimitri “Enzo” Antonov. My imaginary boyfriend that someone else imagined for me, who is never going to date my other imaginary boyfriend from Season 1 [on TV, at least. In head canon it’s already happening and you can’t stop it] for two reasons: A) because obviously Jopper is a thing and the writers aren’t going to suddenly drop that just because we got season 2 of the gay pirates. (But wouldn’t that be WILD? What if they had shot two versions of the ending and they held back Vol. 2 so they could use the gay ending if Our Flag Means Death got renewed? Would the internet survive the aftermath?) And B) my two boyfriends can never date because canonically Season 1 Hopper died in Season 3 when the Duffer Brothers got amnesia and started telling David Harbor to just scream at everyone in every scene. RIP, baby. I still love you.

[Side-Note: I’ve got so many good hashtags for this ship you guys: #jimitri #hopptonov #enzopper #hoppzo. They write themselves. These men fit like puzzle pieces. Sexy, sexy little puzzle pieces. Mmmm. Cold, boys? Why don’t you two papa bears snuggle up for warmth? Yeah . . . Yeah . . . That’s real cozy . . . . . . . ANYWAY]

And of course, C) #jimzo #twopigsinablanket [lol, they’re both cops] is never gonna happen because they’re absolutely setting up my glorious Russian cinnamon roll for a tragic heroic death.

Look, snow-muffin, I love you. You’re the steely-eyed, growly-voiced, salt and peachy mustached, true friend to the death, morally grey Russian with a not-so-secret heart of gold of my fuckin’ dreams. I’d watch a whole spin off that’s just you teaching your son to ice fish in silence. I want you and Mikhail to defect to America and move in with Jim and El and wind up in a super bi thrupple with Chief Hopper and my self insert OC. (Her name is Azelia Moondragon, she has three different color eyes, she can change genitalia at will, she has an IQ of 3.6 billion, and and she’s more powerful than the Mind Flayer, Vecna,El, and eight demogorgons put together . . . Nah, just fuckin’ with you. Her name’s Kate Kauffman and she’s a 38 year old therapist from New Jersey with a secret drinking problem.)

Listen, my ice duke, my proud Siberian wolf, my shot of Svayak with a spoonful of caviar, we both know you could have an AMAZING arc in Season 5. We both know you could wind up snatched by the US government and forced to remain at the lab in Hawkins while the feds scramble to cover up the existence of the Demogorgon you saw, that you could have a moving side mission to bring your son to the US illegally while you help your bestest pal Hop and his annoying girlfriend [no, she’s fine, it’s fine, I like her, they’re good together, not all the hot men want to kiss each other, and that’s ok] parent their sulky teens and save the damn world.

We both know you could fall madly, passionately in love with the mysterious new psychologist that the lab hires to provide you and the other Demogorgon survivors “trauma and readjustment therapy,” but who has secretly been tasked with wiping your memory so you can never go back to Russia and tell the world what you know. We’re both well aware that after she succumbs to your arctic-foxlike charm, Dr. Kate Kauffman could never bare to wipe your memories, that she would instead confess that she is not a psychiatrist, she is in fact a powerful psychic, a subject of the experiment that preceded Hawkins Lab, that in a fit of tears as she laid bare her secrets she would lift up her sleeve to reveal the mark on her wrist, faded, but perfectly legible: “000,” and then as you took her in your arms and told me no harm has been done, all is forgiven, you’re here to protect me now, the two of us would begin to float into the . . .

*Ahem* At any rate . . .

My beautiful near-winter ermine, we both know you have so much potential as a character. But it’s time for both of us to face the harsh, cold facts, so much colder and more harsh than the winters of your beloved homeland.

Dimitri, my darling, here are the reasons we both know you’re definitely not making it out of Season 4 alive:

1) You’ve got a son to get back to. ROOKIE mistake, my love. I’m frankly astonished at you. And you revealed it RIGHT before the big monster battle? I mean, why don’t you just do a big monologue about how you two are going to open up an awesome rabbit farm when you get home? Do you WANT to die? Baby, I volunteer for a suicide hotline. Next time you feel compelled to confess touching details about yourself the night before you face a deadly threat right at the end of a season arc, call me. We can talk it through. You have so many reasons to live!

And of course, that is why you are going to die.

2) Where is Mikhail’s mom?

Now, this one’s interesting. Arguments COULD be made this could go either way.

The facts are these:

You’ve made zero mention of your wife in all this “reflecting upon our lives as we stare into the gaping maw of death” talk. MAYBE your wife divorced you, and that’s why you don’t like to talk about her. Seems unlikely, given Hop got you to punch him by implying she was disloyal. (Although we can’t rule out the possibility that that remark hit just a little too close to home. Perhaps your drive to be seen as a hero of the Motherland in the eyes of your son stems from a need to demonstrate you are the REAL daddy, a bigger, braver, cooler man than the stepfather his mother left you for? Interesting. We can discuss this again in your next session, Dimitri. That is, if we even do any talking next time . . . I mean, what? Huh? Oh! Right, the thingy. Yeah, sorry, I uh, got distracted by the . . . Nevermind.)

ANYWAY, the much more likely answer is, Mikhail’s mommy is deadzo. You are not only a DILF, you are a hot widower, and the show runners are saving this juicy detail for the inevitable “calm before the coming storm,” beat, the moment just before your heroic sacrifice during the final battle or the crazy escape sequence, when Hop says something cheesy like “You’ve got to rest up. Tomorrow you’re gonna need all your strength to hug that wife and kid of yours.”

And you’ll stare just left of camera with your gorgeous, steely gaze, and you’ll say in your low, haunted voice “I will need strength for only one hug. I am all the family my son has left.”

BOOM. You’re dead. The emotional stakes just got higher and all the Duffer Brothers have to do now is fry ‘em up in the bacon grease of tragic irony and serve them to the audience with a side of mashed dream-potatoes as we weep for you. Now your son is an orphan! And Season 5 has a ready-made cute Russian to bring in and fatten with all our collective emotional investment before the final slaughter. [Fun fact: the third ritual sacrifice of a beloved fictional Russian in a series opens an actual real portal to a hell-dimension in our world!!! The last one opened on January 15, 1968, when the finale of The Man From U.N.C.L.E was broadcast! It was only closed by “chance” when the counter spell was “unwittingly” triggered by casting Armie Hammer as Illya Kuryakin in the GUY RITCHIE directed remake. GUY RITCHIE. Did you know he made a King Arthur Movie?! The Lock, Stock, and Every Movie Jason Statham Has Ever Been in guy. Made a remake of a 60’s tv show and a King Arthur movie with WAY TOO MANY GOD DAMN WIZARDS. Anyway, like I said, luckily the portal was closed, but the things which came from its depths still roam our Earth, seeking raw flesh and fun 60’s fashion accessories. Remember, Ritchie has more dark power and arcane knowledge than he’s letting on, and always wear an ascot or a cute colorful beret when you go out or you will perish horribly!]

Then again, there is a hopeful reading of the no-wife-scenario. MAYBE, dead wife means no strings to hold down the season 5 Enzo romantic D plot. MAYBE they’re leaving you open for more hasty and gratuitous hetero coupling! Doctor Kauffman?! Paging Doctor Kauffman to the set of Stranger Things Season 5! They’re prepping for your close up! And after that, you’re making ST history, they’re setting up to shoot the show’s first sex scene with two adults!!!

[remember when we watched two teens awkwardly fuck while Barb was gruesomely murdered in Season 1? That scene has gotten even LESS comfortable somehow as the actors have aged. You look back and see how young they look compared to now and you’re like “yikes! I know the actors were actually twenty, but please! No more babies fucking, thanks!” Glad they stopped doing that shit. If I had to watch El and Mike fuck I’d hurl, for more reasons than one. LEAVE HER ALONE AND LET HER FIGURE OUT HER SHIT GOD DAMN IT I DON’T NEED TO SEE HER PUNCH MIKE’S V CARD I DON’T CARE THIS ISN’T EUPHORIA ITS A GOD DAMN SCI FI 80’s THROWBACK FUN TIME ABOUT PSYCHIC BABIES!]

So, yeah, no wife could mean free meat for the season five Hetero-pairing meat grinder! There’s hope!

. . . Hope? . . . Who am I kidding? I’m sorry, Dimitri, but this is no time, no world for hope! This is Stranger Things! Do you really think we’re gonna make it out of another season with two new cast members still alive like we did in Season 2? No. No, in the end they killed Billy for his hubris in daring to outlast Bob Newby. All good looking things must end, my dear. Let us kill hope now, before she hurts us again.

3) This Show Fucking Loves Killing Precious Russian Moonbeams [alternatively titled “Are The Duffer Brothers Attempting to Summon The Ravening One From Beyond the 9,000th Eye?!?! Stay Tuned For Season 4 to Find Out!”]

I don’t know if, like, everyone in Russia knows everyone in Russia, but, like, probably not? It looks like a pretty big country on the map. But, Enzy, baby, can I call you Enzy? No? Ok, well, Antonov, sweetheart, do you remember Alexi? He was this really cute, funny, enjoyable Russian sidekick they had last season. We had so much fun with him! At first, we thought he was this bad Russian scientist who was going to help screw over our beloved friends, but in the end, he actually teamed up with them! We all really came to love Alexi! He was kind of a fan favorite! People wrote long, rambling things with a lot of weird jokes in them about him on Tumblr. And then . . .

Sound familiar?

Call me a pessimist, but I just don’t think the Duffer Bros can pass up an opportunity to murder a beloved fictional Russian. Besides, it has been long since the gate was opened. The Ravening One cries out for more tender flesh from our own corporeal plane. Its inessence rumbles, its dark mindlessness bends upon our dimension with all the fell, unfeeling intent and obsession of otherworldly instincts. The Duffer Brothers are thinking of doing a 60’s throwback for their next show, and Guy Ritchie is slated to direct the first seance, I mean episode! . . . Plus they’re like so attentive to details, they’d never kill three Russians on accident! Or forget their birthdays.

Dimitri “Enzo” Nikolai Andronic Niklosky Antonov, we could play this little game of denial, dream this little dream of happiness, torture ourselves a little while longer with what can never be. But neither you nor I are fools. Let us say goodbye now. Let us bid farewell to visions of you doing a really cool group side mission for one or two episodes with Steeve and Eddie and Robin and Nancy and Dustin and Max and El. Let us not cling any longer to fantasies of an episode beat where the adults go out on the town and you and Hopper get in a big bar fight with some assholes who are teasing Joyce and Murray, and you do lots of cool punching to some banging 1987 hit like, I don’t know, RICK ASTLEY’S “NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP?!?!?!” [Did I do it? Does it count as Rick Rolling if it’s in text?]

Let us let go once and for all of our wistful longing for all the dopamine-explosion moments as you interact and bond and integrate with the entire Stranger Things ensemble, the giddy spectacle of novel combination after novel recombination of beloved characters, that heady right of passage of exploring increasingly bizarre pairings and group dynamics all new ST characters who survive their first season are treated to, until the dread Season 5 finale ultimately tears them all assunder as the eldritch gods of the Upsidedown inevitably triumph and wipe all away with one mighty, slimy tendril of inter-dimensional horror.

All I can say, Enzipie, Dimipants, Antobutt, is that it’s been one hell of a ride. You may be just a corrupt guard of some remote, snowy prison in the middle of nowhere, betrayed by his crooked accomplice, imprisoned alongside his former captive, escaped with the aide of unlikely allies, and doomed by the conventions of narrative drama to die, but you melted my heart.

At least we get to keep Eddie! . . . Right? Duffers? DUFFERS?!

TOUCH HIM AND YOU DIE, GOD DAMN IT!!!

*begins sobbing and singing unintelligible Russian dirges while pounding the table rhythmically with fist*

#enzopper #jimitri #hoppzo #hopptonov #jimzo #two pigs in a blanket #stranger things speculation #stranger things season 4 #st4 spoilers #stranger things #dimitri enzo antonov #enzo stranger things #ronance #steddie #jargyle #Byler #humour #stranger things meme #hopper x enzo