#who knows if this makes any sense

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours? #also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that! #unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

[inkskinned]

at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME #there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing #and the writing is what i need to be doing #writeblr #this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to #edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol #i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!! #my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means #i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her) #hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong #i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet. #i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse #i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!! #i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO #i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness #and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it #im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us #i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer #and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art. #i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work #even if it means being miserable #but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.

[horrorlesbians]

the obsession with aesthetic-izing everything is a disease that companies have sold us via influencers. it's all about turning your private space into a perfect backdrop for videos and photos, everything has to be a soundstage to market a product. making you view your own private space like a voyeur, already imagining the comments people might leave if your home isn't what they deem ideal. your fridge does not need to be aesthetically pleasing, you don't need to empty out spices from plastic packaging into a glass jar of the exact same size of the original packaging. not everything has to be pinterest goals. there is so little time, just live life.

#🦌 #does this make any sense? who knows #there is a difference between making a place look nice and making a place look marketable. which is what is happening most of the time

[bookwyrminspiration]

being an older sibling is like. you've never known a life without me. mom yelled at me and it taught her she never wanted to yell at you. I painted my room purple and grey and then you did too. we live in the same house but I haven't spoken to you in months. I don't know your favorite color. I saw it was going to rain so I picked you up from school on my way home so your books wouldn't get wet. i was so worried when you woke up sick when you were three. you don't remember being sick. mom and dad made their worst mistakes with me and I'm glad they didn't make them with you. I'm doing everything for the first time so you won't be in the dark. I don't know any of your friend's names anymore. I used to know them all. if something happens to mom and dad you won't have to worry because everything will fall to me. you don't like to be home alone but even if you don't see me just knowing I'm there makes you feel better. at least that's what mom told me. you still give me jars to open for you because you can't quite get them. I only see you during dinner. i'd never even think about missing one of your concerts. I stand at the counter when I eat and now you do, too. when offered a selection of books you picked the same one I did when i was your age. I'm terrified you compare yourself to me. I love you. I don't know if you like me. I want you to. mom says dinner's ready

#quil's unholy underworld #siblings #sibling relationship #older sibling #eldest sibling #listen. #does any of this make sense #this has all been just circulating in my heard forever and I had to put the words somewhere #so now the words are on tumblr #do you get what I'm saying #i don't know who my sister is but like. we're right next to each other. she's just down the hall #something something it's already a poem just look at it it's on the ceiling #but instead it's we're a poem just feel it we're standing right here

[99thpercentile]

places where the audio distorts

image ids under the cut

tmagp 4:

tmagp 5:

tmagp 7:

tmagp 8:

the audio distorts when people lie.

I imagine this knowledge will come in handy later.

[id: ALICE: This is not something you go poking around in. Not if you want to keep your job… or your neck. SAM: (a little amused) Okay, okay! I get it. Consider me scared straight. "Consider me scared straight" is highlighted. end id]

[id: LENA: Now, while I understand your concerns, you need to understand that Colin has held the IT Manager position for some time without incident, and although he is somewhat… frustrated with his current assignment, he can request help from the central IT team at any time. I am certain that should he find his responsibilities unmanageable, he will request assistance. Or resign, of course. Either way, the problem will resolve itself. "Or resign, of course" is highlighted. end id]

[id: CELIA: Is there any way to look up specific files? ALICE: Like what? CELIA: Oh, I don’t know. Every case about… being buried alive, or meat, or… whatever. ALICE: Well, there’s a search bar, but it doesn’t actually do anything. You’d have to dig through them all manually. (suspicious) – Why do you ask? CELIA: Just figuring it all out. Ah well, I guess I’ll need to find Bigfoot on my own time. "Just figuring it all out" is highlighted. end id]

[id: GERTRUDE: I see. Well, I’m sorry, but I don’t think Gerry can help you – GERRY: (casually) Yeah, I barely remember any of it. "I don’t think Gerry can help you" is highlighted. end id]

[id: GERRY: Oh yeah, but I was pretty young. I remember filling in a bunch of forms and questionnaires, then some old men asking me questions about what books I liked to read, who did I look up to, that kind of thing. And then I left. SAM: (disappointed) That’s all? GERRY: Yeah, afraid so. Other than just sitting around with a bunch of other kids in a room that smelled like old books. "Yeah, afraid so" is highlighted. end id]

[id: CELIA: I’m trying to look into… Weird physics stuff: time travel, other dimensions, teleportation, all that good stuff. Freddy doesn’t really do searches, so you could keep an eye out and let me know if any come up in your cases? SAM: Uh, sounds a bit sci-fi compared to our usuals. What’s this for? (amused breath) You’re not doing research for that podcast you were on, are you? CELIA: (surprised) You know about that? SAM: I might have given you a quick Google. CELIA: Then… yeah. I’m doing a favor for Georgie. "yeah. I’m doing a favor for Georgie" is highlighted. end id]

#tmagp #The Magnus Protocol #tmagp theories #tmagp spoilers #original #most of these are relatively easy to clock as lies regardless #which makes sense. they need to be for us to notice the pattern and apply it later #but it does tell us for sure that Colin can't quit #or maybe he can but he won't be able to work anywhere else like Teddy? #in any case he (and possibly the rest?) can't quit in a meaningful way #if you find any I missed please let me know!! #why is this happening? who knows! Beholding thing maybe?

[theacebard]

Can I have my kids back

#qsmp #qsmp fanart #qsmp eggs #qsmpfanart #current brainrot like i-- #i was going to work on fitmc fanart and then the eggs are GONE FROM THEIR BEDS #WHERE ARE THE CHILDREN #i also didnt know if i shouldve included richas' prosthetic in the shadow so he remains one legged OTL #this is gonna make no sense to any of my friends who dont follow qsmp but the brainrot must out #q!leonarda #q!pomme #q!dapper #q!ramon #q!richarlyson #q!chayanne #q!tallulah

[dogmasquerade]

god okay disco elysium fans try and understand the consequences of actions challenge. jean is a dick but also he's like that... for a reason. kim has literally only just met harry he has no frame of reference for the past and NEITHER DOES THE PLAYER. Jean's been with harry since he was sober. he's seen the downfall. harry's gone clean before and all that happens is he fell in again. none of yall have had to be friends with an addict and it shows. it's constant. its painful. eventually compassion fatigue. you just can't care like you used to because every single time you offered a hand it got bit. sunk cost fallacy forces you to stay but its like poison. toxic, eating away at you, an albatross. you can't leave him but you can't live with him. you know hes hurting so so bad but the hurt spills from his overflowing heart into anger and its directed at you.

anyway td;lr jean's got good reason for giving up on harry, martinase was just his final straw. its not just "ough you shouted at me while being mentally ill once and now im mad :(" its "i have watched you systematically destroy yourself from the inside out. you are burning alive and every time i try to help you i get burnt. you have embraced the flames at this point and i don't know how else to help anymore. you arent who i used to know."

EXCEPT HE DOESN'T EVEN DO THAT BECAUSE HE CAME BACK. he came back literally as soon as the waterlock got fixed. he still fucking cares.

#this doesn't actually make any sense but im fed up of seeing jean slander #hes got issues OBVIOUSLY hes got issues they all do!! #dont hate on him just because hes the only guy there who actually truly knows exactly who Harrier Du Bois is. #nobody else knows him like jean. not even harry himself. #anyway #disco elysium #jean vicquemare #the dog barks

[claraoswalds]

So what's wrong with Clara, then? There's nothing wrong with her. Why haven't you made her immortal? Well, look how you turned out.

#dwedit #doctor who #userveronika #usertennant #userteri #scifiedit #ashildr #twelfth doctor #clara oswald #twelveclara #* #honestly idk if this will make sense to anyone but me but #the doctor saved ashildr and the doctor saved clara but ashildr is clara and ashildr is the doctor too.......... and so is clara #or more intelligibly: ashildr's arc at its base is the same arc that twelve and clara have together. except she plays both roles #ashildr starts as clara and ends as the doctor. like you can SEE the moment it switches from ashildr-as-clara to ashildr-as-doctor #but clara ALSO starts as clara and ends as the doctor. (''we could you know... stop off on the way'' ''gallifrey. the long way round''). #and the doctor gets to watch the exact same storyline play out in front of him without ever realizing it and incapable of ever stopping it #.....does any of that make sense. i'm writing these tags at 3am so idk fjdkslsls #but really this gifset is just 'ashildr: the twelveclara redux'

[sneez]

conrad veidt would make a great tragedian i think

#pathologic #conrad veidt #artwork #scopophobia #id in alt text #if any of you actually benefit from IDs id be very grateful to know if you prefer them in the alt text or in the post body! #anyway :D HIM #this is caligari-era connie obviously. i was saying this the other day but later connie would be a great saburov i think #i cant decide if i prefer the idea of him playing every tragedian or him being a very obviously incongruous tragedian who has just painted #his face to look like a mask and is hoping nobody will notice #also please ignore that the lighting doesnt make sense on the second one i used reference images lit from two different angles and didnt #notice until i had rendered it out because i always flip my canvas so often and im too lazy to fix it #anyway (part 2) i am still on my conrad veidt autism explosion and i am having a great time. i am having so much fun. i love he #i hope you are all well too my friends! term just finished for me so i am back hoam :D yaaay

[purpleshadow-star]

It's kind of funny (heartbreaking) that there were multiple Ravens who wanted a number, to the point where some tried to manipulate Jean into helping them one way or another, but none of them would have been next in line. No matter what they did, there was always someone ahead of them on the list. Someone who wasn't even on the team. That someone wasn't Neil. Neil was a surprise to everyone, including Riko. That someone was Andrew.

Kevin might have had to beg Riko to go visit Andrew, and Riko might have laughed at Kevin and dismissed Andrew when Andrew turned him down, but make no mistake, if Andrew had accepted and had become a Raven, he would have taken that #4 spot within his first year.

If we're being real, Andrew had more of a chance at becoming part of the perfect Court than any of those Ravens ever had. Even Jean thinks of Andrew as one of them.

The other Ravens never stood a chance.

#i honestly dont think any of the ravens stood a chance #if they werent inked within their first year (or begore it) then they prob never would have been even if riko lived and the nest continued #riko (and kevin) seemed to choose people to recruit already knowing they'd be perfect court #like riko tried to get neil to join the ravens already knowing hed make him perfect court (in order to keep a claim on him) #and i fully believe kevin scouted andrew with full intentions of making him perfect court #so none of those other ravens who were torturing jean ever stood a chance #it was all for naught #idk if this makes any sense #it's like 12:30am where i am and im just rambling lol i should be asleep #anyway #aftg #all for the game #the sunshine court #the sunshine court spoilers #tsc spoilers #tsc #andrew minyard #neil josten #jean moreau #riko moriyama #kevin day #perfect court

[dreamyzworldlove]

headcanon that for a while nico doesn’t have a mortal job he just does underworldy tasks as the ambassador of pluto but when talking to mortals they eventually ask what he does for a living and nico says that he “works for his family” (coupled with the fact that it’s Known he’s italian) people think he’s in the mob

#why was this so long #does it make any sense? who knows #nico di angelo headcanon #nico fandom #nico di angelo #pjo hoo toa #percy jackson #riordanverse #rick riordan #pjo headcanon #pjato #hoo #ghost king #ambassador of pluto #hades

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 278

You know what I’ve gotten obsessed with and inspired by? Dredge. 

You know what is also fun? Merfolk. What’s even better? Lovecraftian corrupted merfolk. Especially if say, one goes with the Lazarus Waters being a form of ectoplasm. So, in this? Lazarus waters are like lakes, while Amity Park, thanks to the Portal, and the barriers? It is an entire sea. 

There are islands, small areas that were once the tips of buildings that have gathered more landmass around them. There are mangroves, trees not like anything on earth or anywhere else stretching up in canopies dark enough to block out the sun, yet lit by the green waters. 

It goes deep. Mariana Trench deep, despite it being impossible. The GIW have explored for caves or tunnels, they’ve tried to find some sort of explanation, but there isn’t one. 

Now all that ecto? That has an effect on people. They mutate, they change, they adapt. Anywhere else would have been a slow death- something the GIW might have even been counting on. But Amity Park? It was founded by witches, it was the hotspot for the supernatural, even before the Fentonwork Portal. They’ve been dealing with this sort of energy in microdoses from the moment they first began to live in the city in any generation. 

But they begin to adapt. Shift into something… other. Some stay contaminated, clinging to human forms as they form homes on the tiny islands, fishing and farming what they can. Others become Liminal, almost seeming to meld with fish, some similar to ones of the Living and others something just to the left. Similar yes, but not quite… right. And then there are those that have truly melded with the energy of the dead, forms torn asunder by it, ripped apart and made anew by it. 

The first sign back when the barrier was activated, when they could no longer leave and were trapped were the fish in the lake. And now they are the same, with gazes of something Else, with gnashing teeth and a hunger gnawing at where hearts once were. 

But they aren’t monsters. They’re still themselves. Just a little… Other now. 

#DCxDP #DPxDC #Prompts #Eldritch Ghosts #Liminal Amity Park #Merfolk AU #They see nothing wrong with each other because they’ve gotten used to it #Also yes they can ‘swim’ in the air too #Seriously check out the Dredge Wiki if u aren’t up for playin- at least look at the Aberrations #Even the more human-looking Parkers (usually elderly but not always) still look Off #While others have become deep sea nightmares #I see the fact there’s an entire Lazarus ecosystem in the middle of nowhere Illinois interesting Absolutely No One #People Definitely Doesn’t Have A Fishing Boat Out There Trying To Fish Up The Pit Creatures #Honestly GIW might do that too & have some fucked up fish- they keep failing at catching a parker who knows better #Clockwork and others visit too sometimes & it’s like seeing a Fucking Incomprehensible Leviathan #If the Infinite Realms is the Open Ocean then Amity is a Sea where whales go to set up their nursery #Idk if any of this makes sense I’ve been sick the last few days lol #Dredge Au

[animentality]

I know everyone wants stories with happy endings, and they all hate when the main characters die, and insist well what's the point of the story then, it didn't matter at all! they died!

but.

I don't know. do the stories of those who die at the end not matter at all?

because if that's the case, I have news about the stories told by everyone who has ever lived in this world.

we all die at the end. we are all doomed by the narrative.

but our stories still matter.

#writing #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #listen it can be done well it can be done poorly #but i dont get this hatred of characters dying at the end and everyone not getting their happy ending #its not about realism #its about what the author is trying to say #some characters die because they need to die #because it fulfills their character arc it enhances it #it makes a difference #and there is catharsis in understanding that sometimes people die for a good cause for a glorious purpose #we all die #isnt there relief in seeing a story where our special friends die but it mattered in the end and death was something meaningful #if it was embraced with dignity #am i making any sense #i just know my own death wont matter #i like following stories where the mc dies but #it meant something the way mine will not #and the vast majority of people do not die for a good cause or with purpose #and those who do are heroes in our reality #but why are they so reviled in fiction #let your characters deaths mean something

[clown-eating-pig]

I was telling my little sister about Gertrude Robinson the other day and she said something that kind of made my brain explode. I was explaining all of the terrible things that Gertrude did in the name of saving the world and how, on the opposite side, Jon avoided doing a lot of terrible things but ended up dooming the world anyways. She responded with the classic, “the road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

And idk it just really struck me. Bc, between Jon and Gertrude, which of them had better intentions? Which one of them ended up in hell?? Crazy crazy crazy to me bc I’m pretty sure it could apply equally to both of them.

#tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #gertrude robinson #tma spoilers #sorry if this doesn’t make any sense #but I genuinely had to just like #pause #when she said that bc I was like…..damn #bc Gertrude was the one doing all the terrible stuff with the good goal of the world not ending #so you COULD say that she’s the one that ended up in hell #but Jon literally damned the world to eternal torment sooooo #idk #I suppose the argument could be made that it applies to both of them equally #the motto of the archivist so to speak #but who knows

[twinsarekeepers]

leahbeth and walkerpercy the only percabeth ever and I am so thankful for that because, and i’m sorry to those of you who saw this cursed vision, it genuinely would’ve been the worst thing to ever exist if we’d gotten a white annabeth paired with a black or brown percy

#if i had to watch a yt girl berate a brown or black boy for not knowing something on the big screen …. #someone was going to have to d!e idk #at least in the books i could imagine them as whatever i wanted but in the show it would’ve made me hatttteee percabeth #annabeth just is more likable and her story makes more sense as a black girl 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️ #(coming from someone who loved annabeth before leah’s casting) #anyway leahbeth and walkerpercy 🔛🔝!! #percabeth #annabeth chase #percy jackson #black annabeth chase #(the only way she can ever exist btw like it doesn’t work if she’s not black) #idc about percy btw #he can be any race but i personally can only imagine him as walker now #pjotv #pjo #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo tv show #pjo disney+ #leah sava jeffries #walker scobell

[pocketramblr]

you know im thinking. im thinking maybe Yoichi wasn't even that into captain hero as an adult, but AfO kept bringing LITERALLY every conversation back to that because he decided to Be The Demon Lord and so Yoichi like, can't get an argument in unless he uses the same material so he's like 'oh my god i haven't even thought about that comic in ten years but even i know the bad guy didn't win. you should not be basing you whole identity, business model, and world destruction plan on your five-second impression of a comic book bad guy who didn't even win! also you shouldn't kill people!'

#AfO has a very flat picture of Yoichi in his head #His Possession. Weak and small. and taught him language reading and socialization with Captain Hero #he's THORS POPTARTS-ing his own brother in his memories #what sort of art styles did yoichi like? how did he interact with gender? did he like his eyes or did he wish they were different? was he a #morning person or a night person? were there clothing textures he loved or couldn't stand? did he like to collect feathers or leaves? did h #ever pick up any sense of religious knowledge from his assorted readings? cultural identity? did he learn how to cook in theory but never #had the materials to practice? or did he cook once they were older as AfO sort of internalized that as yoichi's subservient role? #or did he make absolute monstrosities when he attempted to bake anything? #We dont know because all we see of Yoichi is: #his brother's memories of him. could be flanderization for all we know #and an imprint of Yoichi in ofa #who by necessity has to be focused on his brother #we'll never get to see the whole picture of the dead holders. they're dead. and we can't change that. can't know their vibrant lives #so yeah lets see. a five+one fic about yoichi's changing relationship with media property captain hero over time in his life and death #compared to afo's static impression of yoichi's relationship / afo's own unchanging relationship with it #hmmmm