#who needs to cut veggies anyway am i right

[isbergillustration]

Ran out of nice paper, painting this on my wooden cutting board

#who needs to cut veggies anyway am i right #wip #acrylic painting #artists on tumblr #illustration #landscape #soft pastel #horror pending #my art #i have a crit 2morrow morning can untell i am slightly panic making thing #first crit of the year

[writersmilex]

Cooking Lesson

Toki Wartooth X Fem Reader

Summary: Toki is not the best at cooking and after one more mishap during making snacks, (Y/n) decides to teach him how to cook a meal.

_______________________________________

(Y/n) turns up her nose at the smell of burning plastic once she enters the very large kitchen in Mordhaus to get a snack and a drink.

"stop burning the plastic Toki! " she scolds as the burning smell whiffs through her nostrils. "ai!" Toki yelps in surprise as he is snapped out of his daydreaming. Rushing over to look in the oven, which's once again ruined by molten plastic at the bottom of the heat source.

"nei, nei! Nots agains! Fucks!" he yells in frustration and tries to take out the mess from the oven to get rid of with charming pink oven mitts.

"I thought you were in charge of the snacks around here?" (Y/n) wanders over to the double-door fridge to get a cold soda and then approaches the kitchen part where Toki is located. If a fire breaks out, she would be here to help, (Y/n) eyes the fire extinguisher that is hanging in the corner. Not to mention that there are sprinkles installed in the kitchen after a few too many incidents. 

"Toki ams in charges of snacks! But the others don'ts wants to eat the greens!" he explains sadly, throwing away the still smoking and charted piece of plastic with the black-as-coal corpse of some food inside.

"at leasts you dos…" he sighs and looks away almost out of shame. (Y/n) is not a picky eater at all and would eat all the exotic fruit salads that Toki is good at making. It’s cooking foods that he wasn’t very good at, or he loses his patience with cooking foods most likely. (Y/n) opens her can of soda, takes one chug of it and thinks hard. Despite having her own room in Mordhaus, (Y/n) still lives in her own place in a dingy apartment in the nearest town. Completely self-sustainable and independent for years since moving out. The band is fascinated with the fact that (Y/n) is an adult who owns a license and can cook her own food. "you know what Toki? I can help you make snacks. In fact, I can even teach you how to cook." she suggests and helps the rhythm guitarist with cleaning the leftover mess up a bit. Upon the suggestion of assistance, Toki looks at (Y/n) with wonder "You can cooks?" He asks in astonishment, causing (Y/n) to chuckle. She never fails to surprise the band member every time with her domestic skills. "Sure I can!” (Y/n) smiles at him. “And I will teach you the basics if you wanna make good snacks." Toki nods excitedly in response to (Y/n). It is a great opportunity to spend more time with his friend, and she gets to teach him her ways of cooking food! That’s a double win for him. 

"Great! How about we start right away. We're in the kitchen right now anyway. " (Y/n) grins and takes the moment to drink the rest of her soda and throw the can away to get started together with the rhythm guitarist.

~~~~

"First things first, we gather the tools we need to cook. You know pot pans and a spatula of sorts." (Y/n) explains to Toki, opening a low cupboard and taking out the pans that she would need for a dish that she plans to teach Toki. A very simple meal that shows the basics, should be right to teach for the first cooking lesson.

"Okay." Toki inspects (Y/n)’s movements before following and opening a drawer to get some cooking tools.

"We are going to make something basic, just some pork and cooked veggies and potatoes, that should be nice for the very first lesson." (Y/n) says, picking up the ingredients from the fridge that she needs for the tutorial that she is about to perform for the rhythm guitarist.

"If you can get a cutting board for me?" (Y/n) requests politely, Toki goes to look for a cutting plank to cut the green beans. He finds one and brings it over back to her, the smile on his face never fading as he places the cutting board before her dutifully.

"Okay, Here. I'm gonna let you cut the vegetables."(Y/n) instructs while handing Toki a kitchen knife to cut and then places the green beans on the cutting board. "Can you cut these, carefully?" She asks him and he nods in response. Toki stands before the cutting board and gets to work, gingerly cutting the green beans into niche little pieces, just as she had asked. (Y/n) watches for a moment and then retrieves a pot to fill it with water and let it boil for the green beans and potatoes.

(Y/n) lets the water boil while taking a moment to stare at the back of the guitarist’s head and takes notice of something. She digs into her pocket and takes a hair-band from her pocket, she stands behind him and gently gathers his hair in one hand.

"Hm? Whats are you doings." Toki questions while momentarily stopping the knife, trying to turn back to see what (Y/n) is doing with his locks.

"Pay attention Toki! You’re holding a knife.” (Y/n) scolds in a  rather playful tone. We don't want hair in the food do we?" She says, taking the hair-tie and putting all of Toki's hair in a loose ponytail that falls down his back neatly.

"There." She smirks at her accomplishment. It took a lot of trial and error for her to figure out why there was always hair in her food, long hair should remain tied while working with food. Toki is now sporting a low ponytail and It looks rather cute.

(Y/n) turns back to her own work of her own work, gathering the pork burgers and some oil to put in the pan. The stoves in Mordhaus are pretty brutal and they heat things up a whole lot faster than (Y/n)’s own stove at home. 

"Ouchies!" Toki suddenly yelps in pain, the knife clatters on the metal counter as he drops it instinctively. Flinching back from the counter and clutching his right wrist tightly.

(Y/n) jumps at the sound of her friend yelling, seemingly in pain. She already concludes that Toki must have accidentally cut himself while cutting the vegetables. She feels partly responsible for this incident now. 

"Toki, I told you to be careful!" She scolds quietly and gingerly grabs his hands to make him let go of his own wrist to take a look at what he did. It’s not the worst thing in the world that (Y/n) has seen. Then again, a musician’s hands and fingers are sacred. There is only a single cut, that slices over the back of his index and middle finger. Toki hisses as it’s bleeding quite hard.

"Hold it." (Y/n) turns back away and gets the first-aid kit that should be lying around here somewhere. Luckily she was able to find one under the sink. Turning back to a panicked-looking Toki, she waves him over. "Come here." She orders him and Toki doesn’t think twice. She grabs his wounded hand, Opening the water tap and holds his hand under the cold water to clean the cut, letting the water wash it out.

The guitarist hisses in discomfort as the water makes the cuts slightly sting. Once the blood is a bit cleaned up, (Y/n) gets two band-aids and wraps each injured finger up, dressing the little wounds up neatly. 

"There, see? You're still alive." (Y/n) jokes, noticing how sad Toki looked at his now bandaged fingers.

"Shall I cut the vegetables?" (Y/n) asks and Toki nods in response, inspecting the bright blue band-aids on his fingers and stepping aside to let (Y/n) do the cutting and he simply watches. (Y/n) resumes Toki’s work, slicing the green beans into pieces, then she picks up the board and slides the vegetables into the pot with boiling water to the knife.

"I didn'ts knows cookings had so manys steps." Toki looks in awe at what (Y/n) is teaching him, peering into the pot to see the green beans be enveloped by the bubbling hot water. "This is actually a pretty basic thing to know." (Y/n) replies casually, stirring the vegetables with a spoon before returning to the cutting board to get the pre-peeled potatoes to boil as well. Toki manoeuvres around (Y/n) to keep watch, getting out of her way when she turns around. 

"My parents taught me how to cook, they’re supposed to teach you everything. Didn’t yours?” (Y/n) is a little too focused on her cooking to really filter herself. And once she realises what she says, she kind of pales. Turning to look at Toki, he is staring back with a completely empty look. It’s really scary how Toki can suddenly lose all life in his eyes like that. “Oh my god! I’m so sorry. Fuck…” She quickly apologizes for being so insensitive. Toki blinks a couple of times and the life to his pale blue eyes returns, (Y/n) looks back to her cooking out of embarrassment. 

(Y/n) is slightly aware of his childhood, which explains his behaviour today. But she has a hard time relating to him, her own childhood was great. Loving parents and loving siblings, still in contact today. 

"Here." (Y/n) breaks the uncomfortable silence and gently takes Toki's hand, placing the spatula into his hand. "make sure that everything is cooked evenly." (Y/n) instructs as steps aside for him to take charge. motioning for Toki to try and flip over the piece of meat. "see?"

Toki successfully flips the patty over, hearing the meat sizzle from the searing heat. The guitarist smiles brightly a his accomplishment. “Looks! I dids it!” He points at the pan. “Very good! You’re getting the hang of this." (Y/n) praises with glee, patting him on the back of his shoulder. The guitar feels a sense of pride upon receiving praise from his friend. There is nothing like quality time together. "This is funs." Toki replies with a smile, cooking the patty by himself now.. 

"I know right. Eating a meal feels a lot more rewarding when you made it yourself. It's a handy skill to possess." (Y/n) explains, lifting the lid of one of the pots to check in on the boiling vegetables, it’s going good so far.

(Y/n) smiles, blinking at the steam that hits their face. "Alright, it's almost ready." She drops the lid on the pot. "I'll get some plates and then dinner is ready." She then moves away to gather the items she said she’d get. After the plates are prepared for a dinner for two. After baking the potatoes and the green beans were cooked, and The meals were complete. 

~~~~

Once the dinner for two is done and served. Toki and (Y/n) sit down at the nearby table to try the dish that they just made together. In all honesty, for Toki the meal is amazing, probably the best meal he can remember having. he eats the pork patty with glee and (Y/n) looks upon her guitarist friend with amusement as he finishes his meal. he seems to really love it.

Of course, (Y/n) is enjoying the meal herself as well. As she had mentioned before, a meal is way more rewarding when eating. Some people think cooking is a waste of time because eating it takes about 15 minutes. Whoever thinks like that doesn’t take pride in their own creations, which is very sad.

the the green beans are perfectly boiled and the potatoes are well baked and have a crunch to them, in (Y/n)’s opinion, that’s a good thing.

"Wowee! This is so greats (Y/n)!" Toki cheers with a mouthful of food. "Be proud of yourself Toki. We made this together." (Y/n) replies with a smile, taking both hers and Toki's plates and utensils to clean them up.

"cans we do this agains sometimes? Then yous can helps me makes snacks for the others." Toki asks rather sheepishly, standing up and following (Y/n) to help her with the dishes.

"Of course, we can do this again! I'll help you become just as good at cooking as me. Maybe even better!" (Y/n) winks at the guitarist playfully, smiling cheekily at him. Toki turns cherry pink in the face at (Y/n)’s gesture, and then returns the smile.

"it's a deal then."

___________________________________________

I like this one a lot. And I hope you do too! It’s really cute and it doesn’t have a lot of plot to be honest. It’s a simple story. 

Thanks for reading.

- Smilex

#x reader #reader insert #imagines #fluff #metalocalypse x reader #metalocalypse #metalocalypse imagines #dethklok imagines #toki wartooth x reader #toki wartooth

[nightmyst14-blog]

Snippet for a fic I'm writing

Thanks to the discussion I had with @sammywolfgirl , and the ideas I got from @queen-rainy-love and @eclipsewarrior101 .... I'm writing a fic for Shine Muscat.

"Its gonna be called, "A secret date"

Here's a snippet!! Its a human Au, human names used.

Also for @sammywolfgirl , a special cowgirl makes an appearance.

Hope you enjoy!!

Shine Muscat Cookie- Marylin

Potato Cookie- Jedidiah

Potato Cookie's siblings- Ruphert, Yuki, Lil' Ruby, and Blanche

Rye Cookie- Rachel

---------------------------------

Her phone began to ring, looking up from her pillow. She groaned, praying it wasn't another photo shoot. With all of the events and meetups she had to do all week, she just wanted some alone time in bed.

She glanced at the screen, soon sitting up in excitement. It was Jedidiah, that kind potato farmer from the Healthy Hamlet. She had met him during the Giant Veggie festival and had become great friends. She always made sure to visit his farm whenever she stayed at her family’s farmhouse during the summer. 

She quickly made herself look presentable before answering the video call.

The farmer was sitting at his family table, looking to be cutting up potatoes and putting them in a bowl. The sound of his little siblings playing could be heard in the background along with the TV.. 

“ Howdy, Marylin!!” Jedidiah said, one of his iconic smiles on his face. Marylin felt a bit giddy. It made her heart flutter whenever he said her name. “My apologies if I am calling ya at a bad time.”

“ Hi, Jed. No, I’m not busy. “Marylin replied, brushing some of her hair back from her face. “I just got off work earlier. Ugh…I'm tired..”

“ Long day?” He asked.

“Yeah, I had 3 modeling sessions back to back right after I had practice for a scene in an upcoming movie.” She said, soon laying back down on her side. “ I truly do love my job, but I need a break sometimes.”

“ Can’t imagine being in your shoes, Marylin. I guess that makes sense why you like spending time here in the Hamlet, then. Be away from all of those city folk.”

Marlyin laughed a bit, looking at her phone. It was true. It was a blessing she was able to get her great aunt’s farmhouse under her name. Pretty sure her parents would rather forget about it, but she didn’t. Not focusing on being an actress and being able to wind down was amazing. Well, it was the only reason either. 

“I guess that’s true. Plus, its nice and quiet there.” Marylin said. “ How are your little siblings?”

Jedidiah chuckled a bit himself, leaning back in his seat. “ Rowdy as ever. Hey guys, come say to Marylin!!” He shouted into the living room.

Marylin laughed as she heard the pitter-patter of feet come closer, seeing 4 children try to fit into the camera. All tried to talk at once.

“ HI, Ms. Marylin!!!” Rupert said with a toothy grin.

“Are you sleeping? “ Asked little Blanche.

“When are you coming back to the farm?” Asked Yuki, sitting in Jedidiah’s lap.

“Yeah, big brother is showing us how to drive the tractor. Its fun riding around in it!” Said Lil' Ruby, patting the table.

“Hehe, hello you all. Are you all behaving for your big brother?” Marylin asked, getting a collective ‘yes” for the little ones.

“ When are you visiting??” Asked Yuki again, getting excited.

“ Maybe in the summer. I have to finish some work up here in the city.”

“ Maybe Big bro can help you!!!’ Said Lil’ Ruby. “ 

“Yeah!! He has to visit the city anyways!” Said Ruphert. “ Maybe he could help your with your acting job. Jedidiah is always helping people!!”

Jedidiah chuckled and shook his head, setting the Yuki down. “Now, I know who’s been snoopin’ on my phone calls.” He said, tickling the boy to make him giggle. “You all run along now.”

The 4 kids soon left as they came, leaving Marylin and Jedidiah alone to talk.

“Is that true?” Marylin asked.

“Hehe,yeah.. I got to drive up there to pick up some part for the tractor” He explain, rubbing the back of his neck.. Apparently some squirrel dropped some of their acorns in and messed up the engine. I tired looking for it here, but apparently they don't have what I need in stock at the moment. I already made the order, so now I just got to drive up to where you are to get it.”

“Sounds like an adventure.” Marylin replied.

“It’s definitely gonna be, gonna take me about 3 days roundtrip.. I don’t visit the city much. I prefer it here at home. “

She nodded, understanding what he meant. 

“W-well..” She spoke up. “ Do you want to meet up while you're up here? I can set you up a room in one of the hotels near me.”

Jedidiah looked a bit surprised. “ R-really?” He asked. “ Aw shucks, you don’t have to do all that ,Marylin..”

“No no , I insist.” The actress said, sitting up again in bed. “Jed, you and your family have always been so nice to me since I began to visit the Hamlet again. Helping me with chores, fixing that loud boiler once,  allowing me to come over for dinner sometimes… At least let me do this for you..”

She saw that the farmer looked a bit nervous, rubbing the back of his neck. Maybe she was being a bit forward? I mean, they were only friends. At least she thinks so?

“ Are.. Are you really sure about Marylin?” Jedidiah asked her, looking back at the screen. “ You mean it?”

Marylin nodded, giving him a smile. “ I’m sure of it. Consider it payment for all of the times you help me out.”

Jedidiah soon chuckled. “Well, it would be rude to deny a lady’s offer huh?” He joked, making Marylin laugh again.

“Hehe, I think so. What time are you coming in? “

“Should take me most of the day to get there. “

“Sounds good.” Marylin soon heard a knock in Jedidiah’s background, seeing him turn to look.

“ Cousin Rachel is here!!!” Said Ruby, running past Jedidiah to hug a person offscreen.

“Rachel?” Asked Marylin. 

“ My cousin on my Ma’s side. She's going to be babysitting my little sibling while I'm gone. " Jedidiah said, soon headlocked by a blonde haired woman with freckles.

“ Ay!! You talkin’ about me??” The woman said with a grin, ruffling the farmer’s hat and hair.

“Rach, I’m on call with someone!!” Jedidiah protested, wenching himself out of her grip..

“Oh! You talkin’ to your girlfriend??” Rachel said, looking at the screen. "Hi, the name's Rachel. So, my cousin proposed yet?? He talks about ya a lot, you know-"

" RACHEL!!!

#cookie run #cookie run ovenbreak #cookie run headcanons #shine muscat cookie #potato cookie #rye cookie

[seafoamtheo]

your university tutors are underprepared

I am a PhD student in the UK, who has now taught university seminars for 2 years. I also just started training to teach primary age (4-12) students at an after-school club (so not even their main place of education) and I've received better training in under a week than I did in those two years of HE teaching.

I'm partly sharing this to vent frustration, and partly to explain why the MAB currently going on in the UCU is so important to PhD student teachers.

examples/explanation under the cut

two examples-

university (and this session was run by the disability service): if a student comes to you and says they have adhd, tell them they're just stressed! it's the transition from high school to uni and they just want to be medicated by the americans primary training: here are seven specific skills for supporting students through working out a problem, and how to practise using them, as well as up to date training on supporting SEN students

university training: you don't get paid enough to deal with safeguarding concerns, so we simply won't train you to even be aware of them!! If anything comes up just pass it along to your course lead primary training: here's a comprehensive training module for signs of many different types of abuse and concerns you might have. it sucks that it exists, but it's important to be aware. here's what to do if someone discloses to you

----

I recognise on that second one, young children are far more at risk of a wider range of types of abuse. However, the fact that we got absolutely no training for teaching at a university level is wild to me. It's not like you turn 18 and suddenly nobody will try to hurt you. We as tutors want to be safe for you. We want to be able to advocate for you, in the correct ways. But we simply aren't given the tools.

In terms of actually being able to live and teach, too, there are issues within HE institutions.

The primary teaching I do is paid, ultimately, better than the university teaching. I got around £50 per seminar, which included marking and prep. So, for every hour I taught, I was expected to do no more than 90 minutes combined prep and marking. I can tell you right now, marking 180+ assessments total took me much longer than that. I taught three classes a week for ten weeks (30 hours). I can guarantee you, my marking/prep took up more than 45. I also want to add: I was not paid for the training I did. I undertook around 20 hours of training (only 7.5 of which was compulsory! We are not trained well!) because I wanted to teach and I wanted to teach well, and I was not offered the means to live while I did it.

The primary training I am expected to do is paid. The teaching I do is paid. It's paid 'less' in theory, but overall it actually pays me more, because it pays consistently. I don't have to do anything I'm not paid to do - which as someone who has been woring in HE since 2021, is absolutely wild to me.

This kind of brings me to the MAB currently going on with UCU members. We want to work. We want to see our student succeed, and we want to give them an education that not only have they paid for, but that they deserve. We are not given the tools to do so. We are not given the means to live while doing so. The only reason I currently am not starving is because I have a partner who is willing to feed me meals other than pasta, rice, veggies (in various combinations) and a mother who is willing to help me out in obtaining the pasta, rice, and veggies.

The only way we can show the institutions they need us is by disrupting their existence. Without marking and assessments, they fumble. They compromise their ability to award degrees with integrity. They need us to allow them that. But if they want us, they have to pay us fairly, offer us stability, offer us the right tools. (I realise the training isn't even part of the dispute I'm just personally mad about it.)

Anyway if you made it to the end of my big rant, thank you for reading. I'm not about to reveal my identity, because I'm still very much a PhD student within a HE institution. But, thank you for reading.

#UCU mab #ucu #higher education #dark academia #academia without the aesthetic #phd student

[meggannn]

2022

I didn't read a lot of books, or write a lot of fic, or even watch a lot of TV, but I did play a lot of video games!

my real life is a bit of a controlled mess right now, this year I had a medical procedure and a minor breakdown and moved suddenly because covid malfeasance in the city terrified me and I think I need to be with family right now after we've had several family deaths over the years. one day I'd like to move back there but only when I can afford to live alone, which is definitely not in the cards any time soon with how the rental market is looking.

I am proud that I started posting and finished Tides, Receding this year. because I started writing it... three years ago? oh god I just looked it up and it was Feb 2020 that I made the post that ended up spawning the fic. and I told myself 2022 was the year I'd get it done, it's been sitting in my lap too long, and I did it. (party horn noise)

anyway my 2022 game list is under the cut, check it out for recs or whatever. this does not include the games i replayed, which included HZD, DAI, and FE3H, but lbr I'm always replaying those games in my heart

Puzzle games:

The Last Campfire (4/5): Play as a little... thing...? lost from its companions trying to find its way home. Some of the puzzles were a little too simple but this was a short and sweet game.

TOEM (5/5): Play as a tourist taking photos around various places and cities. perfect little photography game with cute side objectives and diverse landscapes.

Inscryption: I ended up abandoning this one during Part 2 because it just didn't hook me and I was hanging on by a thread with the creepiness as it was, but Part 1 was a lot of fun and I'd recommend it for anyone who's a fan of card games, escape rooms, horror, or Yugioh.

Unpacking (4.5/5): Unpack the protagonist's life across various moves. I loved this, my only criticism is that it was too short; I'd love more levels.

Into the Breach (4.5/5): Play as groups of time travelers trying to stop aliens from taking over several war-torn archipelagos in a turn-based combat system. the actual game (till the end credits) is great, the combat system is clear and intuitive. the story is pretty short, but progress carries over at the end cause time-travel. I could've gotten more mileage out of this one, but ultimately burned out cause I wanted to do more than just play the same levels all over again with different units.

FRAMED collection (3.5/5): I guess? for a cool concept—adjust comic panels and strips to help the characters progress through levels—it was a bit forgettable. still, nice for a few hours and probably cool for big comic fans.

Please Touch the Artwork (3/5): An abstract game that combines puzzles with modern art. Oof. I had to give some stars for effort cause I felt like the concept was cool, but I just couldn't get into this one. someone who enjoys both might like it?

Elli (3.5/5): Play as a guardian in a 3D platformer, search for gems and coins, try not to get swallowed by the time rifts. I remember really enjoying this this fall, but now that I'm writing this wrap-up, I barely remember playing it. I liked the puzzles a lot but I think it went on a little long.

Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion (4.5/5): You're a turnip. You rip up taxes in a sentient veggie world. need I say more.

Later Alligator (3.5/5): Play as an Alligator in Alligator New York City and do puzzles and solve crimes. it's adorable, it is, but I wish it was a little more forgiving; if you fuck up a puzzle, you lose so much time in an already limited day cycle.

Rain on Your Parade (4/5): Play as a cloud. Rain on people's parades, wedding days, office parties, whatever. Snow, thunder, acidic goo, you name it. go goblin mode. probably ideal for kids.

Moncage (3.5/5): solve environmental puzzles within a six-sided cube matching elements up across different sides of the cube to affect the scene. very similar to Goragoa, for the three other people who've played that game. short, beautiful, zen game, but man was it hard sometimes or I’m just an idiot. thank goodness for the hint system

Narrative games:

Heaven's Vault (3.5/5): You play as a young woman charged with tracking down a missing archaeologist across the galaxy with a robot companion. Really cool mechanic in this one where you decipher an ancient language as the main gameplay. RPG style choices set across make me want to rate it higher than I have, but some clunkiness (like not being able to revisit sites once you've left) knock it down. Someone once called this made by people who "want to bring archaeology to games but don't known how to make a game" which I agree with.

Tacoma (5/5): You explore an abandoned corporate space station trying to figure out what happened. Honestly, no notes. Interesting narrative, easy mechanics, great writing, doesn't overstep or overstay its bounds.

When the Past Was Around (3.5/5): got stuck on a couple dumb things that the game wouldn't let me interact with, and some other things were really not that intuitive, but other than that I thought this was short and serviceable, good for an afternoon with a sad story.

Wytchwood (4/5): Play as a witch who's charged with collecting twelve souls to deliver to a talking goat in a fairy-tale world. not really a narrative game but it's not puzzle or an RPG, so here it goes. anyway I had a lot of fun with this game. some of the backtracking was annoying and I wish the resource management was a little easier to, well, manage, but overall I enjoyed it.

Forgotten Fields (3/5): Play as a young author traveling home as his family decides whether to sell their home. Honestly a bit let down by this, there were some clunky mechanics I couldn't get over but it had interesting topics about moving on and finding artistic inspiration.

Adios (4/5): A pig farmer decides to quit his job disposing bodies for the mafia. Great voice work in this one, I enjoyed it; even though you know how it's going to end, they still managed to make it suspenseful.

RPGs/Open-world:

Horizon Forbidden West (3.5/5): I think I've already expressed my thoughts on this one this year but overall: great open-world game, mechanically and visually impressive; just OK story, unless you were a big fan of the first game, in which case the story was a big letdown.

Sable (4.5/5): Play as a young girl on her rite of passage as she travels a harsh world called Midden. hard for me to rate any open-world game as perfect because eventually some parts of it somewhere feel like padding, but despite some technical hiccups, Sable is the peak for me. non-combat, vibes-only, beautiful graphics, incredible soundtrack, easy recommend.

Control (3.5/5): Play as Jesse Faden, who arrives at the Federal Bureau of Control looking for her brother after his disappearance several years ago. this never wow'd me the way it was clearly trying to but I did enjoy it, whenever I could get over my fear of anything that moved. gameplay itself was great and i loved the oldest house as a setting. probably fans of the supernatural/horror genre could appreciate it better.

Citizen Sleeper (4/5): play as a cyborg who arrives on a space station and tries to make their way in the corporate underworld. a bit like Disco Elysium meets Murderbot Diaries. there's no combat, so I'd recommend this to fans of the RPG genre.

Paradise Killer (4.5/5): Play as Lady Love Dies in an island out of time, full of gods and demons and human sacrifices tired of being human sacrifices. Someone has been murdered in Paradise and you have to find out who did it. I had SO much fun with this one and the soundtrack is admittedly a huge reason why. (I'm serious listen to Ego 24-7 and tell me it doesn't get you pumped.)

Persona 5 Royal (4.5/5): the Phantom Thieves steal the hearts of corrupt people throughout Tokyo with their inner Pokemon-like demons and man this concept is cool, the soundtrack is killer, the only thing that fucking sucks is the unapologetic sexism that is unavoidable and irritating AF. (am I a little bitter I paid full price for this only a week before it went on sale for half off, yes. but I got a lot of mileage out of this that week during which when I was preparing for a medical procedure, so.)

God of War (4.5/5): Kratos and Boy travel to the highest peak in the realms to spread his wife's ashes. honestly? it's best enjoyed as a guy who enjoys puzzling going on a long walk with his son. as an action game it's meh.

Marvel's Spider-Man Remastered (5/5): I am PETER PARKER and I can throw MANHOLE COVERS at people while insulting their OUTFITS it is hard to top that

still playing:

Phoenotopia Awakening: A young woman named Gale sets on a journey to rescue the adults in her village after they are all mysteriously kidnapped. I haven't finished this one yet cause I hit a wall but ugh I just want to recommend it somewhere. there is so much love in the little details in this game, so many characters and puzzles and enemy types and history, you can tell so much heart went into this that I'm disappointed it won't get a sequel. my biggest criticism for it is that it is HARD, unnecessarily so at times, and there are no difficulty settings which sucks. but it might be good for Zelda fans or people who are good at 2D platforming, which I am not.

Eastward: Sam and John live in an underground town where travel to the surface is forbidden, until a mysterious event triggers Sam's magical powers and the mayor banishes them... eastward. I want to like this more than I am, the post-apocalyptic concept is very in-line with what I like, but jesus this writing feels like it never saw an editor. it just drags. I don't know how many times I can button-mash past Sam saying "Come on, John!" the game is beautiful, the designers and animators really earned their paychecks, but IDK the jury's still out.

#video games

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

342 of 2022

Name: Joeri. Age: 32. Gender: M Height: 180 cm. Starting Weight: I don't even remember, 85 kg? Current Goal weight: 60 kg. Ultimate Goal weight: 50 kg. Lowest weight: 55 kg. Highest weight: 85 kg. Favorite Diet food: Veggies in any form. Favorite Binge Food: Pasta, I think. Favorite exercise: Riding bikes. Does anyone know? I don't know for sure. I think some people might suspect. What makes you slip up? Stress. When did it start? At the age of 14, I think. What do you see when you look in the mirror? Something ugly. Is it for attention? Not at all. I hate attention. Are you the fat or the thin one in your group of friends? Technically the thin one, but I feel fat anyway. Are you depressed: I think I'm coming back to it. HAVE YOU EVER: [] Tried to commit suicide [] Cut yourself [] Ever been to a psychologist [] Lost weight [] Gained weight [] Drank [] Smoked [] Taken drugs [] My weight affects my mood [] I weigh myself daily. [] Fasted [] Skipped a meal [] Chew and spit [] B/P SEXUALITY: [] Bi [] Lesbian [] Gay [] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex [] I've had a crush on a teacher [] I am a cuddler [] I've kissed in the rain [] I've hugged a stranger [] I have kissed a stranger I'VE DONE: [] Weed [] Cigarettes [] Alcohol [] Diet pills [] Pain killers [] Sleeping pills [] Anti-depressants/Mood supporters [] Ecstasy [] LSD [] Mushrooms [] Speed [] Cocaine [] Other Oxys and nuerontin Currently: [] anorexic [] ednos [] bulimic [] living off laxative/diet pills [] hungry [] thirsty [] drinking something [] Under 40kg [] fasting/starving myself People: [] have asked if I'm anorexic/bulimic [] have called me fat [] have said I'm skinny [] have said I'm ugly [] have said I'm pretty [] spread rumors about me [] forced me to eat [] say I eat too much [] wish I'd eat more I wish: [] I was THIN [] I had a better body [] I didn't have to eat [] I could control myself [] I was under 100 lbs [] I could avoid food [] I could hide what I am [] I wasn't fat [] I was pretty I love: [] feeling hungry [] seeing a difference when fasting [] shaking [] feeling airy [] losing weight [] being anorexic/bulimic [] coffee [] green tea [] diet pills [] being able to turn down food [] feeling good about myself Appearance: [] I am shorter than 5'4 [] I think I'm ugly [] I have scars [] I wish my hair was a different color [] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color [] I have a tattoo [] I am self-conscious about my appearance [] I have/had braces [] I wear glasses/contacts [] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free [] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger [] I have more than 2 piercings [] I have piercings in places besides my ears [] I have freckles Family: [] I have a sibling at least 18 years older then me. [] I've sworn at my parents [] I've run away from home [] I've been kicked out of the house [] My biological parents are together [] I have a sibling less than one year old [] I want to have kids someday [] I've had children [] I've lost a child/baby [] I can't have children Relationships: [] I'm single [] I'm in a relationship [] I'm engaged [] I'm married [] I've gone on a blind date [] I've been the dumpee more than the dumper [] I miss someone right now [] I have a fear of abandonment [] I've cheated in a relationship [] I've gotten divorced [] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back [] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't [] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did [] I've kept something from a past relationship Bad Times: [] I've consumed alcohol [] I regularly drink [] I can't swallow pills [] I can swallow numerous pills at a time without water [] I have been diagnosed with depression [] I shut others out when I'm upset [] I take anti-depressants [] I'm anorexic or bulimic or have ednos [] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it [] I've hurt myself on purpose [] I've woken up crying [] I've fallen asleep crying [] I've lost weight [] I've gained weight [] My weight holds me back [] Weight consumes me [] I'm at my thinnest [] I'm at my biggest [] I've lost weight and kept it off [] I've lost weight but gained it back [] My weight affects my mood [] I weigh myself daily [] I am jealous of everyone smaller than me [] I hate compliments [] I want to tell people to "stop lying" when they compliment me [] I feel bigger than people who are my size [] I feel happy when I'm hungry [] I get depressed after I eat [] I've skipped a meal [] I've thrown food away [] I've spit food out [] I've fasted [] I've taken diet pills [] I've used laxatives [] I've purged [] I exercise [] I exercise so I can eat [] I work out secretly [] I work out daily [] I've fainted from exhaustion Habits: [] I keep my eating habits a secret [] I look at thinspo [] I count calories [] I've had negative intake days [] I avoid food [] I hate food [] I love food [] I want to be this way [] I don't want to be like this [] I wish I could have more control [] losing weight is my top priority [] I am in treatment [] I'm doing this for me

#survey #ed survey #categorised survey #about me survey #bolding survey

[seedling-lotus]

...

there is still some part of me that is convinced that I cannot cook. that any food I make won't be worth the effort because I won't enjoy it. Which is vividly false, because the only things I know how to make are things that I enjoy. They are the only things I ever bothered to learn how to make.

Sure, I can't make a good steak, and I'm not so great at cooking vegetables in any sort of appetizing way, but I'm learning with the veggies and I don't really like steak anyway. I'll never be a professional chef, but I don't have to be. The only person I am responsible for feeding is me, and I know how to make at least a few things that I know other people enjoy too.

and logically I know this, but I still get caught up in that sixteen year old me who didn't trust myself enough to learn how to cook anything more than pasta. That me is still there telling me that because the timing is off it's a failure.

but it's not a failure. I made two completely different meals today, practically at the same time. The timing worked out perfectly for both. Sure, they were both simple, but they're food, and they taste really good (or at least I think they do). scrambled eggs and cheesy toast aren't complicated, and rice is really easy when you've got a rice cooker. cutting and heating up some sausages literally only takes a knife and a pan and some heat.

I keep telling myself that I can't cook because what I make is simple, but it's still cooking. It's still making food. it doesn't need to be some elaborate hours long meal prep. Sometimes cooking is just mixing some spices into your rice and letting it all cook together, and heating up some sausage to stir in once it's all done.

I get so caught up in the thinking about how to do things that I forget that the doing gets easier with practice. If i were still sixteen, none of it would have been done at the same time. But i'm not. I'm 28 now, and I have cooked before, and I know how to prepare to get everything to fall into place. the twenty minutes to cook rice is plenty long enough to scramble some eggs, make toast, and heat sausages in a pan if you get everything ready before you start the rice cooking. Start rice cooker, start toaster, start eggs. By the time the toast is done, the eggs are done, and since I'm the only one eating it and I couldn't think of a reason not to since the pan was freshly used, i put the sausages in the same pan i cooked the eggs in, which meant the pan was still hot and it took next to no time at all to get the sausages to start cooking up. By the time the rice was done, the sausages were too, and I got to eat my eggs and toast while I cooked the sausages.

But I still sat there for a good ten minutes before I got started overthinking every step. Which is what I usually do, which is why I usually don't bother cooking. Nevermind just not having the right ingredients. Or any ingredients. If I'm not cooking, why bother wasting money on food that's just going to spoil?

But anyway, the point, if you've gotten this far in my rambling, is that cooking isn't hard. Sure, making a meal can be complicated, but most of it comes down to timing more than it comes down to actual difficulty. Cook what you like. You'll learn the timing. And don't let anyone convince you that you need to know how to cook foods you're never going to eat anyway. What's the point of learning how to cook something you don't want to eat?

#ignore me #rambling #food and cooking #my brain likes to trick me into thinking i'm incompetant #because making something simple obviously means I lack skill #*sarcasm* #I don't know where I got the idea that cooking needed to be complicated to count #but here we are

[hooniee]

 — ꒰‧⁺ making lunch for them*ೃ༄ 

↷enhypen x reader ⋯ ♡ᵎ

↷ genre: reaction | fluff⋯ ♡ᵎ

↷warnings: mentions of food hence the title! please proceed with caution ⋯ ♡ᵎ

⇢˚⋆ ✎ this was super fun to write and i might write so more reactions/headcannons like this! please enjoy <3ˎˊ-

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .*

-ˏˋ~ heeseung lee ~ˊˎ-

“okay here’s a lunchbox for you! all of your favorites, make sure to eat all the veggies so that you can be healthy. i packed two water bottles so that you don’t get dehydrated. i also packed a bunch of snacks for the boys so make sure they eat too! oh and-”

heeseung laughs at you rambling, making you halt and feel shy under his gaze

“too much? sorry, you know how i am”

heeseung shakes his head, “not at all babe, thank you”

you dating the oldest in the group automatically made you like a mother figure to the 6 boys you adored

you had packed heeseung lunch ever since you found out he never had time to cook anything besides ramen packets :((

it wasn’t healthy for him and both of you knew that

he loved your lunches and it had just become a routine

the boys started to pout and get sad that you didn’t pack them anything 

or as heeseung says, “they’re hungry little monsters too”

from then, you started putting loads of snacks in his lunch bag so that the boys could have something to munch on, occasionally making seven lunch boxes as a meal packed with nutritious foods.

heeseung complained about how heavy it was to carry all of them

but in reality, he wanted to be the only one who had the special heart shaped sandwiches. 

-ˏˋ~ jay park ~ˊˎ-

(tasting the potato) “a little too salty” 

(picking up the heart shaped onigiri) “why is it cut in a weird shape?

(staring at the ratio of chicken and rice) “could have added more chicken to balance out the amount of rice-” 

“jay if you don’t like it, just say it,” you pout, moving to take the lunch box away from him.

*glaring at you* “who said i didn’t like it?”

jay is definitely  the type of person to love cooking

from enhypen&hi, you can see him taking the lead in making dinner with the members

he critiques your cooking, like a mini gordan ramsy, but in a more loving way

honestly your food is amazing but he doesn’t want to be seen as soft so he pretends to play it off as

“it could be better but it’s still edible”

on the inside, he was screaming at himself

“this is so good! my cute s/o made it for me and look at this cute heart shape! oh veggies too! i should eat these so that i can be healthy”

he’s grateful that you take your time out of your day to cook for him

and who are we kidding?

jay swallows your food

even if it tastes like expired makeup

-ˏˋ~ jake sim ~ˊˎ-

“what is this baby?” jake asks, pulling a yellow bento box out of his practice bag.

he had never seen this box. it was labeled with “with love, enjoy babe!”

jake had woken up late or more so, you wanted to give him some more rest, and you decided to pack his bag and make him a lunch box while you were up.

“that’s your lunch jake,” you laugh at his adorable confused face, putting the ingredients back in the cabinet.

“lunch ?that you made for me?” jake’s eyes widen as you nod your head.

you didn’t know how he would react from the way his face stayed in shock, did he not want it? was the note too much?

that was before he rushed over to hug you and plant a kiss on your forehead. 

jake was a simp for you

you were the light of his life, his one and only, his whole world, etc.

you could have grabbed something from the top shelf and jake would cheer like you just won a grammy

he was grateful for anything you did for him, cuddling him when he was tired, packing his bag when he need those extra 5 minutes of sleep

to say the least, he never would have imagined that you would make lunch for him

you had usually packed snacks in his bag since you were also a busy person but it was the first time you had made a whole meal for him

your cooking was the best, next to his mom’s of course

jake almost didn’t want to eat it from how pretty it was made

“why is jake hyung looking at rice like that?” 

“because his OH SO precious (y/n) made it for him”

“ahhh makes sense”

-ˏˋ~ sunghoon park ~ˊˎ-

“sunghoon! wait up, wait up,” you yell out, running after him. 

maybe it was because sunghoon was blessed with those super long legs but man, does this man walk fast.

sunghoon turns around, baggy white tshirt and black sweats, a black duffel bag hanging off of his shoulder

he corks his eyebrow at your figure that’s panting after chasing after him.

he checks his pockets and unzips his bag, “did i forget anything?”

“here,” you place a bento box with a pink cloth tied in a knot in his hands.

he squints, turning it in different ways, “what is this?

“it’s a lunch box! i made it for you,” you smile.

no thank you came from his mouth but you could tell as his cheeks started to glow pink like the cloth

sunghoon is confused when you make him lunch?

don’t get him wrong, he’s thankful but why?

i see sunghoon as a person to ask why questions for anything his s/o does for him

not is it to just annoy you, but he can feel the love behind the words when you explain WHY you did that thing for him

he loves affirmation over physical touch

sunghoon seems to be someone more introverted and quiet in the relationship

listening to his s/o, nodding to them when their ranting about something

he feels really grateful to you and eats his lunch with a big smile

he attempts to make you lunch too

if jungwon hadn’t called the fire department, you guys probably would be burnt to a crisp </3

-ˏˋ~ sunoo kim ~ˊˎ-

“oh my gosh (y/n)! what is this?” sunoo squeals as you place the newly prepared food in the bento box.

“it’s your lunch, bub,” you smile, seeing his face light up when you mention his lunch.

“for me? for real?” he questions

you nod your head and he starts doing a cute wiggling dance.

“my (y/n) is the best!”

sunoo loves to eat!

he loves all types of foods from all different palettes

sunoo didn’t mean to wake up so early

after a long night of practice, the last thing he wanted to do was go wake up early

but he couldn’t help it

the smell of cooking had instantly made him rise from bed

he took a little peep out to see you rushing around the kitchen

there was an egg, frying in the pan

you were packing rice that was freshly steaming, into a blue bento box

in your (f/c) apron, hair out of your face

he smiles at the sight, pretending to be asleep when you awoke him

-ˏˋ~ jungwon yang ~ˊˎ-

“wonie? are you here?” you softly call out, peeping your head into the practice room

“i’m right here,” jungwon comes from behind you making you jump, almost dropping the lunch box

“hi won,” you smile

“hi (y/n), what’s up?” he smiles, softly giving you a forehead kiss

“i wanted to drop this off, “ you hold up the box

he tilts his head in confusion, “bento box? for me? i didn’t order anything though?”

“idiot, i made it for you”

“oh”

“OH”

jungwon is the leader

even though he doesn’t have to, he always makes sure that his members have eaten or are staying hydrated

he always is worried about his members than himself

and it takes a toll on him as the hyungs said

it made you sad when you heard a report from heeseung that jungwon had been skipping lunch as much as he preached about the topic

enough was enough for you

you got up extra early and got to work

you had prepared a lunch bento filled with protein, veggies, carbs and a small chocolate bar. making sure to pack a water bottle, you packed it in a tiny backpack

you felt proud of your final creation

and from then on, you had decided to start making jungwon lunch everyday

from that day on, jungwon hasn’t skipped lunch

-ˏˋ~ nishimura riki ~ˊˎ-

riki enters the practice room again, cutting his break short while his hyungs take a nap, continue to eat, etc.

as he’s about to start to warm up, a purple bento box catches his eye. it was placed on the speaker.

he didn’t remember that being there before? maybe it was one of his hyungs. he should probably give it to them.

to his surprise when taking a quick glance at it, it said his name

“for your lunch riki! (y/n)”

he quickly pulled out his phone and snapped a picture, sending it to you with the caption “is this for me?”

your phone buzzes and you see the notification from riki. you laugh, opening his message

you respond “yes babe! enjoy <3”

just like jungwon, ni-ki had been skipping meals :(((

and you weren’t happy to hear that

ni-ki was still growing and needed nutritious meals to be able to stay healthy

his only excuse was that he needed to practice to be better in dance

ni-ki was already amazing :((( 

why did he need to sacrifice his precious lunch time to practice?

you became anxious about the way he wasn’t taking care of himself

he already doesn’t get enough sleep

now not enough nutritious food?

that was not going to pass by you

you wanted to drop the lunchbox in secret, he didn’t need to see your flustered face anyway

you signaled to sunoo in the lobby as he guides you to the practice room

ni-ki was too busy playing on his phone to notice you

you dropped it off but you didn’t expect him to find it so fast

he was glad that it was just a drop off, so you couldn’t see the fire growing on his cheeks

#enhypen #enhypenwriters #enhypennetwork #enhypen x reader #enhypenxreader #enhypen fluff #enhypen reaction #enhyepn fic #enhypen drabble #enhypen timestamp #enhypen imagines #lee heeseung #jay park #jake sim #park sunghoon #kim sunoo #yang jungwon #nishimura riki #niki #ni-ki #heeseung #jay #jake #sunghoon #sunoo #jungwon

[weaselle]

cooking for people who have no idea what they are doing (or are just, like, real depressed)

Okay, I’m a professional cook, but also, I get depressed. This is the cooking I do when I’m depressed, because I need the simplest path to a whole meal.

This is not for vegetarians, because, while I wholeheartedly support people choosing vegetarianism, and also enjoy cooking for vegetarians, for me, the simplest path to a meal includes meat. Perhaps when I am less depressed I will work on options.

A lot of recipes focus on achieving food that is in some way special, using special techniques, or using a precise list of carefully measured high-end ingredients... and that’s not this, this is all the parts of cooking that are not those things.

First, shopping

Meats Starches Veggies Sauces Breakfast/Snack

For a whole week you’re going to want

3 kinds of meat, with five portions each. So, for example, five chicken breasts, 10 sausage links, and 2-3 pounds of ground beef. Other possibilities include pork chops, salmon, some kind of steak, whatever. 

You’re going to want up to 3 starches. Honestly I usually stick to just rice, but you can go with rice, potatoes, and pasta. If you want to use quinoa or polenta or something, thats on you.

And, you’re going to want about 3 types of vegetables, again, about 5 portions each -- and try to stay green. So personally, I usually get 5 medium zucchini, 2 medium heads of broccoli, and then either yellow squash or mushrooms. A bag of salad greens is also a good option, and I have an easy way to make a good salad, which I will do as a separate post.

Next pick something easy that works as either breakfast or a snack. For me this is a loaf of bread, a jar of peanut butter, and a bunch of bananas. Sometimes it’s nice to have an additional option here, like cereal or yogurt. 

Last, you’ll want 2-5 sauces in bottles. I would definitely recommend a low sodium soy sauce be one of them, and maybe a BBQ sauce for the other. I usually also include worcestershire and sriracha but go with whatever you want, teriyaki sauce, A1, whatever you know you’ll eat. Hell, you can use Italian style salad dressing as a cookable sauce if you really want.

Oh, and If you don’t already have some at the house, you’ll need pan lube: butter and/or some kind of cooking oil. 

Okay! we’re done shopping! Affordability isn’t the main focus here, but is undeniably important -- I live in a very expensive area, this shopping trip is going to feed me well for a week and costs me about $100 bucks. When I was living in Alabama, it probably would have cost me more like $70. You won’t need to get stuff like the sauce and rice and peanut butter every week, so you’re definitely looking at a monthly grocery bill of something like $300 depending on where you live, and that’s not too bad. 

Prep

hell no, I’m depressed, the only prep I’m doing is putting two packages of meat in the freezer and the rest of this stuff in the fridge. You CAN box or bag each portion of meat separately so you can really alternate what you eat -- me, I’m gonna eat chicken for two or three days, then beef for two or three days, etc.

and listen, don’t fuck around with microwave settings or running water on things to defrost them. If you package the meat all up separately, just move a portion from the freezer to the fridge each time you cook dinner. Or, if you do like me, move the whole package when you go to cook your last portion of the previous stuff, and just deal with the fact that it will probably still be a tiny bit frozen when you go to cook next.

Tip: When you cook dinner, you’re going to make enough for lunch. That just leaves you one small meal - I often smear peanut butter on a peice of bread and wrap it around a banana like a taco - fast, easy, practically no dishes, relatively healthy

____________________________________________________________

Cooking (this is going to take about 25 minutes)

You’re going to need

ONE frying pan, medium size w/ lid ONE boil pot, medium size w/ lid knife, a spatula and a cutting board.

If you want to be fancy, you can include a big spoon. Looks like this

No matter what the specific ingredients you’ve chosen, the basic format is going to be:

Start your starch heat pan, put meat in the pan flip meat and add veggies, cover with lid remove meat and add sauce finish starch put everything on a plate while it is still too hot to eat and you are standing in the kitchen anyway, wash the like, 4 dishes you’ve gotten dirty. eat.

Okay, before you even get everything else out, start your starch. For rice this means rinse the rice and put it in the cold water and set it on high heat, for pasta this means put your salted water on the stove on high heat. For potatoes, you can use my perfect mashed potatoes recipe (I’ll do that as a separate post) or, honestly, you can wait until you’re halfway done with the rest of everything and microwave the sucker for like 8 minutes. I would never do that in a restaurant, but trying to feed my lethargic depressed ass? Absolutely.

easy rice: Fill your smallest coffee cup with rice, put it in the pot. Rinse. Fill the same cup twice with water, add to rice. Bring to a boil, give a good stir, turn heat all the way down, put a lid on it for something like 15 more minutes.

Okay, now lube your pan. Butter, olive oil, whatever. You’re probably looking at an amount more than a teaspoon and less than a table spoon of whichever you use. Personally I try to use as little olive oil as possible, so I pour a large coin sized amount (a quarter in the U.S.) into the pan, ear off a piece of the paper towel I’m going to use as my napkin for the evening, fold it up tight, and sort of paint the oil around so a little goes a longer way.

Pan lubed? Great, turn your burner on. highest heat will work but is not ideal, medium heat will work better but is still not ideal. Halfway between the two is perfect for chicken, a little hotter for beef, a little lower for fish.

Now remove two portions of your chosen protein (that way you’ll have tomorrow’s lunch too). By the time you get the packaging open and stuff, your pan is probably hot. If it’s not, let it get hot. You don’t want the oil to start smoking (warning, butter will burn faster than oil) but if you shake a single drop of water off your finger into the pan, you want it to sizzle.

If your pan is hot, put your meat in. The more you do this, the more you’ll perfect the timing, but you’re going to cook it for ~about~ 7 minutes before you flip it, maybe a couple minutes longer if it’s chicken or pork, maybe a couple minutes less if it’s beef.

Now that your meat is in, prepare your veggie. Rinse it off, cut off any part of it you don’t want to eat, and then cut what’s left into pieces the size of a large bite. Don’t worry, it’s going to get a little smaller when you cook it. Take your time, you’ll probably finish in less time than the meat needs.

Time to flip your meat? Great. Do that, and then dump your chopped up veggie in the pan. It does not matter at all if the pieces are not touching the bottom of the pan -probably most of them will not be, a bunch will be on top of the meat, that’s fine.

Put a lid on it. Now add your pasta to the water, or put your potato in the microwave, or check your rice. If following my perfect mashed potato recipe, mash now.

Rice tip, checking: eat a grain, you want zero crunch. If it’s not done and there’s no liquid, add a splash of water and stir. It it’s done or close to done, but it is still very wet, give it a big stir and leave on the stove with the lid off for a couple minutes.

Your meat still has like, at least 4 minutes, so rinse off your cutting board and chef knife, get out a plate, table knife and fork.

 Meat done? Great. Take the meat out of the pan, leaving the veggies in. Add sauce to the pan. I like to also use a little wine, because it’s usually already in the house, if you have some and want to, pour a large swallow of wine in the pan with the sauce. I’ll often mix a couple sauces, like worcestershire and soy (makes something similar to teriyaki) or hot sauce and BBQ

Stir the sauce around with the veggies. This, called deglazing, is an important step for two reasons, 1: it will get up a lot of the flavorful stuff that has stuck to the pan and make your sauce better, and 2: it will make washing the pan much easier. Okay, put the lid back on for one to two minutes, maybe stir a couple times. Basically you want the sauce to stain the veggies.

Your starch should be done, turn off the burner, put a portion on your plate, and stick the rest in a ziplock or tupperware or something. Go ahead and throw the second portion of meat right in there with it. 

Turn off the stove and scoop the veggies onto the plate, and pour the sauce from the pan over everything.

Now, while it’s too hot to eat, and you’re standing in the kitchen anyway, wash the pot, pan, and spatula. It should be very easy because of the way you used the sauce and because nothing has had a chance to harden. This usually takes me about 2 full minutes.

__________________________________________________________

OKAY! it’s been 20-25 minutes, you’ve got dinner and tomorrow’s lunch (just add another cut up veggie, pour a different sauce on, and put it in the microwave for two or three minutes) AND there’s no danger of dishes piling up on you :) You can even add “washing last night’s plate and fork for use tonight” to where you rinse the cutting board to really keep it full circle.

It’s not gormet. It IS accessibly healthy, affordable, and easy.

If you are extra depressed, forget the starch and use more veggies; this cuts what little work there is by up to half

Using this format, you can have three good meals per day and only spend 30 total minutes a day in the kitchen — including clean up! (dishes piling up tends to exacerbate my depression and makes cooking your next meal harder)

And it’s easy to give yourself a wide variety, from soy glazed chicken, zucchini and rice one night; to steak, mushrooms and pasta the next; followed by BBQ pork chops, brocoli and potatoes... I suck at math but there’s probably a hundred options

Just to recap, because I know I was very detailed and this might seem overwhelming, once you read through the above to answer any questions you might have, simply

-Start your starch -lube & heat pan, put meat in the pan, about 7 minutes -flip meat, add veggies, lid, about 7 minutes -wash knife and cutting board -remove meat and add sauce to veggies, re-lid, 1-2 minutes -finish starch, refrigerate extra meat and starch  -put everything left on a plate -wash pot and pan -eat.

#cooking #food #depression meals

[ballorawan740]

SCP Scenarios: SCP x Reader - McDonald's Sprite (REQUESTED)

Main Masterlist | SCP Scenarios Masterlist | My Works Masterlist | Rules | Request | Socials | My Original Post

Requested by: @katnotmore123

Bro y'all be simping for Sprite and I'm here simping for 7Up...

I mean I like them both but I just prefer 7up over Sprite... It's like comparing Pepsi and Coke ngl but with a more subtle difference

SCP 073 (Cain)

You came back to the foundation one day with a cup of iced drink and Cain had asked what you were drinking and you showed him

He was mildly confused but soon understood the beverage since he had seen them somewhere on the web (no, not the hub, an advert from McDonald's)

You asked if he wanted to try some and he did, so you gave him a sip

You were slightly annoyed and surprised since you drove over an hour and hadn't had anything to drink and the last thing you wanted was someone taking your drink

But since it was 073, you made it an exception since you hadn't expected him to have any food or beverages outside of site 17

You figured that he had enjoyed it as he reminisced his past about being able to eat plant-based food but no longer could

You felt bad and agreed to get more when you next go back

The researchers had wondered if the drink had ever rotted in his mouth but realise moments later that it's mainly made out of artificial ingredients aside from the natural flavourings

SCP 076-2 (Abel)

I have high doubts that you would be able to persuade Abel to drink such a plain beverage, so you had devised a plan to get him to try

You made a bet with Abel in which the loser has to finish off the drink, not that you'd complain (you unhealthy mf), but you really wanted him to give it a try

Abel accepted and had very much lost the bet

He had taken a sip and you noticed that he's enjoying the drink and teased him

He spat it out and flat out denied it (like the tsundere he is) but continued drinking it anyways

Some of the researchers monitoring Abel's cell found it rather amusing that he enjoyed such a "plain beverage" and did try to tease him about it

Let's just say it didn't end very well as it resulted in somebody's head being chopped off

You both had agreed that if Abel stops trying to breach his containment and be more cooperative, you or somebody else in your team would buy him more Sprite from McDonald's (and by 'buy', I mean kidnapping the whole chain's Sprite dispenser)

SCP 999 (Tickle Monster)

999 would most definitely take the drink out of your hand since his little tingles tell him that whatever you were drinking was sweet

And he was very much right

You were slightly shocked but wasn't surprised since he does have quite a sweet tooth

Every now and again, SCP 999 would ask if you had any more of those drinks and would even ask what they were

You had explained to him that it's a lemon and line flavoured soft drink created by the Coca-Cola company (the more you know right?)

He was intrigued and sweetly requested if you could buy him more and you obliged

You would use your time off to buy a dozen of Sprites from McDonald's and would sometimes buy other soft drinks like Coke and Fanta for 999

Needless to say, you had an orange blob as your personal pet who would give you unlimited hugs since you spoiled him with so many drinks

SCP 682 (Hard to Destroy Reptile)

This mf of a lizard right here is just as stubborn, if not even more than Abel, and would reject trying that beverage at all for the whole entire week

You had to bribe him and the researchers were laughing their socks off from this interaction you both got going

He did give in but was rather hesitant at first

Once you poured some into his mouth, he seemed slightly disgusted from the taste

He would just sit still for a moment as to contemplate then stuck his tongue out as a sign of disgust

But bring the cheeky person you were, you spilt more into his mouth which led to him farting for the next few hours to which everyone laughed

Dr Bright heard the commotion and came to see what was happening

Let's just say he encouraged you to carry on if you want your head cut off but found it amusing regardless

In short, don't ever give him Sprite unless you want to torture him

SCP 049 (Plague Doctor)

Does this bird doctor even drink?!

You mention multiple times about human food and how delicious they are

Mainly McDonald's Sprite and their food since its rather popular

ESPECIALLY THEIR CHEESE BITES/STICKS!!! HAVE YALL EVEN TRIED THEM!? THEY'RE DELICIOUS AF!!!

OMG they've released the garlic ones but I preferred the normal Mozzarella sticks and cheesy bites though

Anyways, back to Sprite, our side chick

049 would be intrigued about this 'Sprite' since you spoke so passionately about it like your life depended on it and requested you to get him one for a try and so you did

When he drank it he was surprised at the foreign taste

He asked if there were more beverages like it and you answered honestly, carrying on with your love for McDonald's and offered to buy him some for a try

Basically, 049 would give it a try since you spoke so passionately for them

He wouldn't necessarily hate it, but he wouldn't love the drink as much

I'd say he would be intrigued to try something new outside of his role in curing the pestilence

SCP 035 (Possessive Mask)

I am so sorry guys, I'll have to make 035 hella short since I can't think of anything interesting for him

DO YALL THINK THIS BOI CAN EVEN TRY?! JUST LOOK AT HIM!!! HE'S A BLOODY MASK!!!

The closest thing for him to try the drink is if you gave his now possessed body some beforehand so 035 could telepathically understand the taste

Like if you just straight up gave him the drink I don't think he would be able to drink it even if he wanted to

If the now dead body never had Sprite, then you ould just describe the tase to him in form of arts (I like to imagine 035 would be into arts, especially performing arts since he's basically a theatre mask)

SCP 105 (Iris)

Our girl here has a high chance that she might have tried McDonald's Sprite

But she just prefers healthier foods (this healthy mf knows that y'all can't keep healthy, that's why she's here to start your New Year's Resolution which is to stay healthy)

You both would recommend food which is healthy or unhealthy and would try them

Iris is more than capable of controlling her diet, but you, on the other hand, have a hard time doing so (don't lie, we all know y'all like junk food)

So, you both compromised in which you can have junk food as a reward, namely your favourite beverage, Sprite

You just love the citrus flavoured, colourless beverage so much that Iris would have to hide the drink from you (ah yes great promotion from me XD)

What would you do without our girl, Iris, eh? (Die from overeating unhealthy food which causes heart attacks and strokes, of course, fun!)

Anyways, sometimes when you're the one going out, you would be the one to buy a few dozen bottles of Sprite from McDonald's (bro do they even sell bottled drinks? Ik they do in KFC from where I live OwO)

Iris would drop dead from the sight of you bringing in so many Sprites into the foundation

She would most likely drink some with you, not because she likes them, god no

It's because there's no more room to store them and she's just a little bit thirsty

SCP 106 (Old Man)

This old man would be so confused by all this food and drinks from the outside world

His first impression of McDonald's was that of a circus since you've shown him the older advertisement for McDonald's since it fits his age (love you 106!!! Not)

And then you gave him a menu, and god did he not have any glasses (boi he do be needing to go to Specsavers fr)

He read Mozzarella Sticks as mosasaurs pricks, the Spicy Veggie One as spicy vag- and what's worse is that he read Double Quater Pounder as double quantum pounding (he even read Coke wrong!)

You and the foundation staff burst out of laughter at his 20/20 eyesight

So one day, you returned to the foundation with some Sprite in your hands in hopes that 106 would give it a go and so he did

He found the flavour somewhat new and strange but still enjoyed it nevertheless (this boi here do be a man of culture, am I right?)

Anyways, 106 loved it so much to the point that during one of the breaches, he disappeared from the foundation and reappeared with 10 boxes of Sprite

The researchers then realised afterwards that 106 had used his pocket dimension to teleport to the nearest McDonald's and stole the boxes of Sprite without even paying

They were even more surprised to find that the workers there were ordinary humans and weren't even fazed about 106 teleporting to their business (Sames here bro! If anyone stole my food/drinks I'd be pissed too regardless of who it is!!! Food is food!!!)

You basically made him addicted to Sprite

SCP 096 (Shy Guy)

(Imma be honest here, idk if this guy eats since he's facing the wall and covering his face like 99% of the time unless some guy saw his face)

You were sat in 096's cell and was debating on what food to get from McDonald's

096 was curious about what you're talking about since he heard you mumbling bout food from this so-called "McDonald's"

So you explained to him the concept of food and that generally speaking, unhealthy foods are tastier and typically served quicker in at places like McDonald's

Imma be real here, I like Burger King's chilli cheese bites a tiny bit more since the McDonald's at my place is stuck with garlic cheese bites atm

It's not like I hate them, but I just prefer the old ones, but it's nice that McDonald's changes up their food every now and then

Anyways, back onto our side chick

You bought your favourite Sprite along with the double quantum pou- quarter pounder

096 was upon curious and so you let him have a bite of your quarter pounder and your Sprite

Let's just say that 096 found it weird and didn't ask about human food again

Dr Jack bright

Jack Bright is very much aware of McDonald's and other fast-food chains since he does have a fair share of memories of eating them with his family and because the bodies he possesses do be unhealthy af (just like you)

You were talking about food with one of your co-workers and Bright just so happened to be nearby and butted his head into the conversation

Your co-worker also just happened to leave for a meeting so you're both stuck together talking about McDonald's

Sometime later, you bought to the foundation some food, including Jack's favourites as he had mentioned not long ago

You both tried each other's food and he was mesmerised by the Sprite since it's been a while since he had it

So whenever you went back, you would buy a larger bottle of Sprite for Jack since he wouldn't have much free time and needed to drink more anyways

Sometimes, when you're both talking about food, you'd make up puns for them or just laugh at your misinterpretations since you're just as blind as a bat (btw I've read somewhere that bats have good vision, they just use echolocation a lot)

Some of the things you both would say would be "Did you hear that McDonald's gave all their employees large laptops for Christmas? They were Big Macs" and "Hey, Ronald McDonald - been watching any good clown movies? Ronald: I'm loving it"

One time, he smacked your bum and casually said to you "Girl, this quarter-pounder will take you to a whole different level of experience" and then left

Dr Simon Glass

Another doctor who has knowledge of fast foods

He's similar to Bright in a way as he doesn't leave the facility as often as he likes since he's constantly busy

Also, he would make terrible jokes and puns using wordplay

When you told him about your favourite drink, Sprite, Glass immediately said "I went to the store to get eight cans of Sprite. When I got home, I realized I’d only picked seven up"

You just looked dumbfounded at his puns and laughed as he continued

He did manage to take a sip and drank the whole can of Sprite instead

You even bought some wrap with extra mayo and told Simon about your friendly chat with the waitress/cashier and mentioned her former co-workers

And you died on the inside because his only reply was "She should go back sometime to ketchup with her old co-workers or she mayo not want to"

To shut him up, you have decided that buying him Sprite would work and it kinda did

Only for a short while though

Dr Alto Clef

Clef is well aware of the fast-food chain called McDonald's

It was hard to ignore it as a lot of people younger than him had kept talking about it, even you

Even worse if it was you talking about McDonald's since you have an obsession with their Sprite

Poor Clef was confused as he assumed that all lemon/lime flavoured drinks were the same

Oh boy was he wrong

You came back with your lunch from you know where and 2 bottles of Sprite

One was from McDonald's and the other from Lidl along with some of your favourite pastries, like croissants and toffee yum yums

You had him try all the foods and both Sprites and he finally gave in to the fact that McDonald's Sprite tastes more superior than the other

Not only that, he made dirty jokes and puns about the food in McDonald's

Like "Baby, you got more legs than a bucket of McDonald's", "Come over to my house and I’ll give ya a happy meal", "Do you work here? Because I’d like to order some fries with that shake" and "Girl when I am done with you, you won't be looking for no toys in this happy meal"

Dr Benjamin Kondraki

Benjamin Kondraki would be the type of person who would be reluctant to try but would anyways since you asked so kindly and gave them those eyes

And by that, I mean a death glare

NGL he doesn't seem like the type of fella to be eating a ton of unhealthy food

I mean he doesn't necessarily eat salad or anything overly healthy, but he does have a balanced diet for the most part and does treat himself sometimes, but not too often

You magically crept up behind Kondraki and scared him unintentionally but you still laughed anyway because you're evil

He looked down and realised that the packaging was from McDonald's and you were holding a familiar clear bottle in your other hand

You were kind enough to share your food with him and he thoroughly enjoyed it

Then after that, you forced him to drink some Sprite since he has PTSD from your unhealthy obsession with it

And yes, he did end up drinking it

And no, he didn't like it nor did he hate it

You were upset that you thought he shot you down about Sprite but quickly regained your happiness since he did tell you about the drink being just above average

#scp #scp scenarios #scp x reader #scp headcanons #scp x reader headcanons #scp x reader scenarios #scp 073 #scp 076 #scp 076 2 #scp 076-2 #scp 999 #scp 682 #scp 049 #scp035 #scp 105 #scp 106 #scp Iris #scp abel #scp Cain #scp dr bright #scp Jack bright #scp dr Jack bright #scp dr glass #scp Simon glass #scp dr Simon glass #scp dr Kondraki #scp dr Benjamin Kondraki #scp Benjamin Kondraki #scp dr clef #scp alto clef

[travellingarmy]

║Scaramouche║Mr. Short

Requested from Wattpad.

Warning: Usage of foul language (I mean, we're talking about Scaramouche here).

Male reader as requested.

Fluff.

Word count: 1.1k

---

"Haha, is it in your family blood or did you just not eat your veggies?" The eleventh Harbinger, Tartaglia, laughs mockingly at the height difference between himself and the sixth Harbinger, Scaramouche.

Scaramouche clicked his tongue and turns his head away, crossing his arms in full displeasure. "Hey, hey, Pedrelino, take a look at this guy!" He calls on over, waving his hands as he beckons you closer with one hand while his other rested upon Scaramouche's hat. Yes, one of your a great many alias was Pedrelino. That being said, yes, you were a Harbinger.

Scaramouche's face flared red in anger. "Grr, cut that out you fucking bastard!" he growls, shooing the ginger's hand away which just pushed Tartaglia to mock him even more, all the while laughing.

"What are you going to do? Punch my face? I'd like to see you try," he laughs, clutching his stomach as he tries to take it down a notch.

Scaramouche glares at him, jaws tightening as well as his fist. Without warning, Scaramouche kicks the eleventh right on his reproductive system hard. Tartaglia's eyes widened as he stiffened up before falling onto the floor whilst clutching his part, groaning. "No, but I can do that," Scaramouche spat, glaring eyes hovering the taller male.

He walks away from the groaning male and to you. "Uh, Scara, you know you could've killed him." You chuckled forcefully as small beads of sweat trickle down your forehead.

"That was my plan." He clicks his tongue, taking one more look at the eleventh. "Too bad he didn't." More sweat went down your head, but said nothing and gave him a forced, close-eyed smile.

"Then, should we go now?" you asked, changing the topic. He silently nods and the two of you left the place where Harbingers would group up, leaving the ginger aching on the floor.

It wasn't anything strange for you to hang around Scaramouche. In truth, you two were lovers. Surprising as it sounded, it was a fact that not even the Fatui diplomats could avoid.

How did someone as cruel as Scaramouche, ended up with you, someone who is completely the opposite and more outgoing than he was? That was one if the great mysteries of Teyvat and the only ones who knew the answer to that was you and Scaramouche.

"Master Pedrelino!" A Fatui underling calls your name in a rush, drawing your attention to your side. "Hm? What is it?" you ask. The diplomat looks to short male beside you who was glaring at them. "Sir, I've been sent with a message by the Tsaritsa about your mission," they said, gulping back a lump in their throat under Scaramouche's gaze.

"Oh? Could you hold onto that until tomorrow?" you said all the while smiling. "But, sir, the Tsaritsa.." the diplomat trails. "The Tsaritsa is important, yes, but I'm about done with my fair share of work today," you reminded them kindly that it was literally time to go home and have dinner.

"Ah, my apologies, Master Pedrelino. I have forgotten the time. Please, pardon me of my rudeness," they said, bowing their head's down. You laughed it off, waving your hand in front of you in small motions as a way to say that it was fine. "It's alright, you're just doing your job. Anyway, I'm sure you're dying to go home too, yes?"

"A, ah, yes, I am. Then, have a good night, sir, and you too, Master Scaramouche." The diplomat quickly leaves, your smile not dropping from your face at the retreating figure. "Tch. Look at how loose your subordinates are, (Y/N)," Scaramouche comments, calling you by your name now that you two were done with work, "This is all because of your carefree ruling."

You chuckle. "Well, if I were to scare them, they would apply to be moved to another Harbinger and then we wouldn't get anything done for the Tsaritsa just like a little somebody," you teasingly comment. He clicks his tongue. "They are fine under my ruling," he said, referring to his subordinates, and crossed his arms while looking somewhere else.

You chuckled and place a hand on his hat. "Whatever you say, shorty." "Has Tartaglia rub his filth on you? Do you want me to go back and kick him again?" He glares. "Haha, no need. I'm sure you'll kill him for sure." You dismiss his serious tone. "I was planning on it."

Not wanting to actually make him turn around to kill the brunette, you stayed silent until you two got home. "Anything you want for dinner?" you ask, making your way to the kitchen as soon as you stepped inside. "No," he simply answers, taking of his ridiculously large hat and setting it down on the living room's sofa.

"Okay. Wash up and come back down, I'll have dinner ready by then," you said, soon hearing him go upstairs after a quick 'okay' from him. As promised, dinner was ready and the two of you ate whilst enjoying a nice conversation.

You joined him in your shared bedroom shortly after you showered, getting under the blankets with him. "What are you reading?" you ask, crawling on top of him-- encaging him between your arms and closing your eyes, sighing. "A book," he answers blandly. You chuckled. "I know that it's a book. What is the book about?"

"A person," he answers, yet again in a bland tone, eyes glued boredly onto the pages. "Wow, that totally sums it up," you huffed. "If you want to know, you can read it after," he said. You smiled. "No, I'm good."

A comfortable silence was shared between you two and the only sounds to be heard was the rustling of pages being turned and his loud heartbeat that was right beside your ears.

Slowly, your eyelids fell heavy, the sound of his rhythmic heartbeat lulling you to sleep. Soon, you fell asleep. Scaramouche continued on, not realizing that you had fallen asleep until he finished the book.

"Huh, (Y/N)?" He looks down to see you sleeping. His brows furrow in disbelief and places the book on the bedside table.

He tried to nudge you off of him, but you were simply a much bigger man than he was. He sighs and with nothing to do about his situation, he slid his body underneath you.

Actually, he didn't mind the added warmth, but he rather not be caught dead with you on top of him, although most already know of your relationship. He just awkward, let's be frank.

He takes a glance at your face and every little detail of it-- your long eyelashes that would flutter once in a while whilst you dream, your nose, and lips. The sigh that left his lips soon after sounded irritated, but really, he wasn't. Not one bit.

To prove it, a small smile tug the corner of his lips and whispered, "Good night."

---

#scaramouche x reader #scaramouche #scaramouche oneshot #scaramouche x male reader #xreader #male x male #x male reader #genshin impact oneshots #genshin #genshin oneshot #albedo kreideprinz #albedo #male reader

[babymetaldoll]

I've been working out a little bit (Spencer Reid/Reader)

Requested: Yes.

Summary: Spencer has been working out with Penelope, and they are doing their best to keep it a secret. Until (Y/N) finds out and tries to help. And though he doesn't want to because he is embarrassed about his poor athletic performance, somehow she manages to help.  

Category: Fluff

Warnings: Curses, frustration. Good old fools in love.

Word count: 3.8K

A/N: Hello, pretty people! I've missed you! I hope you like this little story. It's one of the last requests pending on my list. Tomorrow I can finally visit my grandparents, I'll be taking care of them for at least two weeks, and though I know it's hard work, I am just so happy I can be with them again!! I miss them! Take care, whenever you are! Love you!

Masterlist

                                    𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁

- "No fucking way, Spencer!" (Y/N) widened her eyes and laughed so hard tears filled her eyes. She was sitting at her desk at work, staring at her best friend, who could barely walk due to the two hours he had spent that morning training with Penelope.

- "Please, don't tell anyone."- he whispered and looked around the bullpen. He was too embarrassed already to let anyone else know he had to take the mandatory fit test. He wanted to avoid the jokes, especially Derek's.

- "Your secret is safe with me, as always, chipmunk"- (Y/N) smiled and bit her lips, trying not to laugh anymore- "But why on earth are you working out? You have enough case hours to cover a fit test!"

- "Apparently, I can't skip it this year. Both me and Penelope have to take it."- Spencer whispered and sat down very slowly, pain written all over his face.

His best friend stared at him reading the mix of embarrassment and physical pain he felt with each movement he made. (Y/N) smiled and opened one of her drawers, looking for the last Snicker she had hidden in case of need. Watching Spencer in pain was precisely the case. She stood up and handed him the candy, making his heart skip a beat. Spencer did his best to hide the blush on his cheeks and just looked away.

- "I can help you if you want."- (Y/N) whispered and cut him the most adorable smile she had.

- "Help me what?"

- "Working out."- she replied and bit her granola bar- "I can teach you how to kick ass, and I do look hot wearing sweat shorts."

Spencer nearly chook. He flushed and closed his eyes, trying to cover up his embarrassment. But (Y/N) giggled and turned around. Her job there was done. Now Spencer had to be picturing her in her sweat shorts.

Of course, he was. He couldn't stop, actually.

The two agents were the youngest of the team, and somehow sometimes in-between cases, it showed. Especially when they were on their own, and their conversations ended up in casual flirting.

(Y/N) was head over feet in love with Spencer, though she was never going to face it. God knows Penelope had tried to force her to deal with her feelings. But she was closed as an oyster. No matter how much Garcia insisted or how drunk they were, (Y/N) kept denying her true feelings in public.

Spencer wasn't indifferent. Not at all. As a matter of fact, he was in love with (Y/N). Everything about her bewitched him. Ever since the first time he laid eyes on her, he felt it. She was tailor-made for him. If only he weren't a nervous wreck each time he saw her...

After two years working together, Spencer had managed to overcome part of my shyness and awkwardness around (Y/N). They were best friends, and they would usually hang out in their free time. The little free time they had in the BAU. But even when they could playfully flirt all the time, Spencer was sure she didn't like him that way. He convinced himself she was just joking.

--

(Y/N) headed to the Batcave holding a large frappuccino and knocked on the half-opened door before walking in.

- "Penelope García, I had the feeling you were running caffeine low."

- "Oh my pretty little thing! How do you do it? You read my mind!"- the tech analyst nearly hyperventilated as soon as she held her ice and creamed coffee.

- "Reid and I were out for a little break, and I knew you would like one of these to cheer up your afternoon"- Garcia sipped her frappuccino and nodded. But as soon as she had finished savoring the perfect coffee, she asked.

- "So, you and Reid..."

- "We were out getting coffee, like the best friends we are."

- "But, there's coffee here in the kitchenette. There's no need to go out and get coffee unless you want to find an excuse to be alone with him."- (Y/N) raised an eyebrow and sighed. Garcia did that every single chance she got.

- "You and I know the FBI doesn't share our concept of "good" coffee."- (Y/N) looked at her friend and just smiled- "Besides, I told you, I felt you needed some extra sugar and joy in your life after your early workout session this morning."

- "That little snitch!"- (Y/N) chuckled and shook her head.

- "Don't get mad at Reid. He didn't tell me anything. I kind of figured there was something wrong 'cos he looked in so much pain just breathing."

- "Oh man, he is sored, but I am sure he would be way sorer if you train with him."

- "I offered myself to help him"- Garcia raised an eyebrow at (Y/N) 's words, and the young agent wide opened her eyes, blushing- "Stop staring at me like I'm a perv! I meant helping him train for the test. I could help you too."

- "Thank you, but no, thank you. I trained with you, and there's no way we are going to do all that boxing again."

- "Come on! You said you had fun!"

- "I did! I really did... but I could barely move the next day! And I had a date! I couldn't even dance, less doing... other... nevermind"- Penelope stopped herself in her tracks and shook her head.

- "Shit, PG!"- (Y/N) closed her eyes and chuckled- "Spare me the details."

- "Sorry... anyway... you and the little genius should definitely train in a more... horizontal way."

- "Garcia! Stop it!"- (Y/N) laughed and stood up- "I'm gonna go back to work 'cos clearly you have some hormonal issues today, and you are projecting."

- "Stop acting like you haven't thought about it!"- Garcia said and chuckled as her friend walked away.

- "I'm not telling you anything."

- "That means yes!"

- "No! it doesn't!"- (Y/N) was blushing; that's why she refused to turn around and look at Penelope.

- "Oh! It so does!"

--

The end of that day found Spencer even more sore, hungry and weary than he had felt in years. All he wanted to do was go home, eat pizza leftovers from the night before, and go straight to bed.

Until...

- "Hey, chipmunk!"- (Y/N) looked at Spencer, gathering all his things and getting ready to go home.- "Dinner at my place tonight. My treat."

- "I can pick the take out tonight?"- he said immediately and asked himself where did that come from if, a second earlier, all he wanted to do was to go to bed. Probably from the same place that kept coming back to the image of her in sweat shorts.

- "Even better. I'll cook"- (Y/N) answered and winked, playfully- "You deserve a proper homemade dinner after all the workout you did this morning."

Spencer looked at her and didn't even notice the silly smile on his face. If he had known how in love he was looking, he would have probably slapped himself. (Y/N) sighed and stood up.

- "I'm gonna take that silence as a "Great (Y/N)! Thank you! How considered! I'm so lucky to have you in my life".

Spencer rolled his eyes and shook his head.

- "Thank you, (Y/N). But I'll give you more praise if your food turns out to be eatable"- the young agent gasped, pretending to be insulted by his words, and hit Reid's arm with her knuckles.

- "Auch! (Y/N)!"

- "I'm being nice, and you are insulting me! I'm having second thoughts about driving you over!"

- "I can take the subway! You are such a slow driver I can actually be there faster."

Spencer stuck out his tongue at her and ran to the elevator, 'cos his friend widened her eyes and ran after him, probably to hit him again.

Morgan and Prentiss stared at the scene in silence, sharing a few looks, both of them thinking the exact same thing: "When are these two goofs ever going to hook up?"

- "They are annoying"- Rossi stood next to Emily's desk and crossed his arms on his chest.

- "They are in love"- she corrected, but David shook his head and sighed.

- "I know, and they are adorable, but it's so annoying staring at the same scene over and over again, waiting for something, anything, to happen between them."

- "Are you turning into a bitter old man who completely forgot about the charm of being young and in love?"- Prentiss raised an eyebrow and turned to Rossi. The Italian stared right into her eyes and shook his head.

- "I'm just saying someone should try to tell them something."

- "I've tried to talk to him about her a million times. But Reid is one private kid."- Derek said from his desk as the three of them stared at Spencer and (Y/N) getting into the elevator, still arguing and playfully playing.

- "And he is so insecure. He doesn't think she likes him."

- "Likes him? She is clearly in love with him!"- Prentiss said, annoyed- "I swear, if nothing happens between them this weekend, I'm going to intervene."

- "Now who is forgetting about the charm of being young and in love?"- Rossi joked and sighed- "Come on guys, dinner's on me."

--

(Y/N)' s dinner was a success. Spencer ate two portions of honey mustard-glazed chicken bake. She even managed to make him eat vegetables. And Spencer didn't even argue. Not only because it was delicious, and his body really needed some homemade dinner. But also 'cos (Y/N) got him wrapped around her fingers, even without knowing it. And if she asked him to eat veggies, Spencer (no matter how much he would argue) would eat his damn veggies. And he could actually enjoy them.

- "Ok, chipmunk, you ate all your food. You earned your dessert"- (Y/N) smiled and picked the dirty dishes from the table.

- "Let me do that. You already fed me. The least I can do is do the dishes."

Spencer followed her moves and took the dishes to the sink. (Y/N) didn't argue with that. It wasn't the first time Spencer cleaned the kitchen with her, after all. They had been good friends, close friends, for a long time, and they were used to being around each other.

But this time, it felt somehow different. Like there was something in the air warning them things were about to change for good.

- "Ok, doc. Do you wanna eat your dessert watching tv for a while?"- (Y/N) handed Spencer an ice cream bowl with chocolate chips on top and some whipped cream.

- "A smiley ice cream bowl?"- Spencer chuckled as he stared at it. He loved it.

- "Yes, you are never too old to eat food with a smile on it. And that's a life lesson, Spencer Walter Reid."- she said and walked to the couch, holding the remote control.

- "You are filled with wisdom, (Y/N)"- Reid teased her and sat by her side.

- "I know. It would help if you let me train you. You would pass your fit test in a blink."- she said and continued surfing channels.

- "Thanks, but no thanks. I wanna do it on my own."- Spencer glued his eyes on the screen and ate his dessert. (Y/N) just nodded and continued surfing channels.

- "Why?"- she asked him after a few minutes. They had been watching an old movie in silence, just eating their ice cream.

- "Why what?"- he whispered and looked at her just for a second. He didn't trust himself around (Y/N), especially under those circumstances: alone in her house. She had changed into leggings and an old extra-large sweatshirt. Her hair was in a messy bun. And Spencer didn't feel able to look at her into the eyes, 'cos he was going to cave in. He was going to grab her face with both hands and kiss her right there. No questions asked.

Which is why he avoided looking at her.

- "Why don't you want me to help you train?"

- "Just because"- he answered and glued his eyes to the screen. But (Y/N) knew better. She moved closer to him on the couch and held his hands. Spencer shivered right away at the sensation of her skin. It was so warm and soft. All he craved was some more of that. He wanted to feel her. Touch her. Taste her.

His head was going way too fast, and just because she held his hand.

- "Spencer, look at me"- she whispered and practically begged her friend to pay her attention- "I just wanna help. It's just a stupid fit test. It ain't hard."

- "For you."- he mumbled and looked down at his hand as her fingers played against his skin.

- "I didn't want you or anyone to help me 'cos I'm a fucking SSA who should be perfectly able to perform a simple fit test on his own. But no. I can't! And do you know what that means?"

- "That finally I know there's one thing you are not good at?"- she answered and smiled at him. Spencer raised his eyes and met hers. He knew his cheeks were all shades of pink, but for once, he just didn't care. He just wanted to look at her and see if she meant it. Or if she was just teasing him.

- "Right"- he snorted and shook his head.

- "I mean it, Spencer. You don't have to be good at everything."

- "It's a fit test. It's basic to be an agent. I need to be able to catch an unsub."- (Y/N) frowned and tried to understand where all that self-doubt and insecurity was coming from. To her eyes, Spencer had nothing to be ashamed of. To her, he was perfect in every single way.

- "You already catch unsubs, chipmunk. Everyday. You don't have to kick down doors to make a profile. And you don't have to run six miles to get the bad guy. Everything that you do every day at work is what an SSA is supposed to do. And you excel at it."

(Y/N) sighed and smiled at her best friend, trying to push aside the urge she felt to kiss him. His golden-brown eyes looked so big, like honey pools, she could stare for a lifetime. Spencer didn't know what to say. He really wasn't good with praises. He wasn't used to them. Not in that way.

- "Besides"- (Y/N) added after a few seconds of silence when she realized she might have said too much and started panicking.

- "It feels good to finally know there is one thing I am better than you at."

- "What are you talking about?"- Spencer answered right away, in the sassiest tone of voice.- "Just because I suck working out doesn't mean you are better. Even at my lowest, I'm still better than whatever you can do in a gym."

Reid was obviously joking. He knew (Y/N) could kick ass. Not only had she saved his life many times on the field, but also, he had seen her working out. And she could definitely kick his ass if she wanted to.

That didn't mean he wasn't going to tease her just because.

- "You take that back, Reid!"- she threatened him and

- "No"- he sentenced and crossed his arms on his chest

- "Last chance. Take it back, or you will pay for it."

- "Make me."

And that was it.

In a second, (Y/N) was on him tickling him, and trying to practice a chokehold on him. But Spencer was faster, and somehow, stronger than her. Maybe it was because he was struggling with himself. A part of him wanted her closer, and a part of him didn't want her too close, 'cos he knew his pants were going to start feeling too tight if she did.

Whatever the reason was, after two minutes of wrestling, Spencer had (Y/N) pinned down against the couch. And the way she panted against the fabric of the cushion wasn't helping him with his pants.

- "Spencer, it hurts"- she cried and tried to move from his grip, but he didn't let her go.

- "If you want me to release you, you have to say I am the best agent in this house."

- "Never!"- (Y/N) quickly answered and continued struggling.

- "Just say it, I've got you held, and I'm not going to let you free until you say it."- something in his tone of voice, it was teasing but also... sexy? (Y/N) knew Spencer wasn't trying to act that way, but it was working for her in a way she hadn't imagined. He would be so soft. And now, there he was, acting like a dominant man, holding her tight, not letting her move, literally pinned against the couch.

If only it were all happening in a different context.

- "Let me go, Spencer Reid!"- (Y/N) battled against his arms, but it was useless

- "Just say it"- he leaned in and whispered in her ear, and (Y/N) sword she could almost feel his smile as he spoke.

- "You are the best agent!! There, happy?"- she mumbled, making her best to sound annoyed and not turned on. Spencer released her, and she quickly sat down properly, rubbing her left wrist.

- "Did I hurt you?"- Spencer whispered and noticed how flustered she was. That was a first.

- "No. But I gotta tell you, you are stronger than I thought."- she said and stuck out her tongue to him, trying to be playful and innocent, though you could feel it in the air. That moment was anything but innocent.

- "Yeah, I've been working out a little bit."- Spencer answered and chuckled at his own words.

- "Well, you are going to have to learn how to control your new strength, 'cos this is going to leave a bruise"- (Y/N) whined and showed him her sore wrist. Spencer winced, ashamed he had been so hard on her without meaning any harm. He moved closer to her and held her wrist carefully. (Y/N) just looked at him as he kissed her wrist a few times.

That man couldn't be real. He was such a tease.

Did he know all the things he was, in fact, doing to her with that simple touch?

He surely had to know. Otherwise, there was no explanation, she thought.

- "Thanks"- (Y/N) whispered and fixed her eyes on his lips, still landing small kisses on her wrist.

That was when she stopped breathing. Spencer was literally breathtaking. He smiled at her, and she just couldn't help it anymore. (Y/N) leaned in and kissed him. It was a soft, short peck. But she had dared to do the unthinkable.

She kissed her best friend.

Spencer widened his eyes, shocked, and looked at her, not saying a word. They just stayed still for a good thirty seconds until Spencer finally made his move, cupping her jaw carefully with both hands and pulling her face against his.

The way she moaned into the kiss made him feel more in control than he had ever been before.

It was a soft kiss but intense. Spencer's lips rubbed carefully against her mouth, and his tongue moved carefully, making its way until he could taste her. (Y/N) moved closer to him until she was basically sitting on his lap, and his arms wrapped around her body, locking her against him.

They were in heaven.

Until it was over. Their phones buzzed at the same time, breaking the spell, ending the charm. (Y/N) jumped from Spencer's arms and grabbed her phone.

- "We've got a case"- she whispered and turned to him. He was agitated, his cheeks were red, his pants felt tight, and he was starving for more of those kisses.

- "Ok."- he replied but didn't move.

- "I'm gonna change, then we can go."- (Y/N) added, but he didn't say a word. To be fair, Spencer wasn't processing what was going on. He was still trying to elaborate a coherent thought. And most of all, he was fighting the boner in his pants that didn't let him stand up.

You could blame all the sugar in his body after the massive bowl of ice cream, or all the praising (Y/N) had given him, but Spencer found a new level of courage in that kiss. He decided it was time to stop overthinking it. It was time to act on his feelings.

- "(Y/N)"- Reid knocked on her bedroom door and heard her from the walking closet.

- "I'm almost ready. Did you talk with Garcia?"

- "No, but I don't wanna leave things like this. I wanted to talk about what just happened."

(Y/N) sighed and took a look at herself in the mirror. She could still feel her cheeks burning after that kiss, after feeling her best friend hard underneath her body, holding her against him. But she wasn't sure she wanted to hear what Reid was about to say. Most of all, because she was sure it was going to be something along the lines: "That kiss was a mistake, you are my friend. I don't wanna ruin this."

- "That kiss was..."- he mumbled and walked to her as soon as she showed up in the room, but words were hard to find when she looked at him that way.

- "Spencer, I..."- she tried to speak, but he just continued.

- "Would you like to..."

- "Pretend it didn't happen?"

- "Go out on a date with me?"- the two of them said at the same time and widened their eyes in shock.

- "What?"- (Y/N) questioned and stared at her best friend in shock- "You want to go out with me?"

- "You want to pretend it never happened?"- he asked her, scared he might have rushed to the wrong conclusions.

- "No, no, no, I don't... I can't pretend it didn't happen"- (Y/N) quickly answered and held Spencer's hand, afraid she might have ruined everything.

- "I was just scared you were going to reject me or..."- (Y/N) bt her lips and dared to look at him- "I wanna go out on a date with you"- she whispered and watched his whole face change as a big silly grin drawn on his lips.

- "Really?"- he murmured, still not sure it was actually happening. He asked her out. She said yes. He was sure that was never going to happen in real life.

- "Really"- she assured him and leaned in slowly to kiss him one more time. But her phone rang again, and so did his. This time it was a message from Hotch. Wheels up as soon as they reached the FBI.

- "But after we catch the bad guy."- (Y/N) added, and Spencer chuckled.

- "Sounds like a plan."

Spencer Reid’s taglist: 

@calm-and-doctor @all-tings-diego

Requested by @shilohpug​ 

#spencer reid #matthew gray gubler #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds fanfiction #babymetaldoll writes #babymetaldoll edits

[vemuabhi]

Wait... somebody hold my pasta! Requets are opennnn! Bello, how are you?? I hope you are doing well!

I was wondering if I could ask for a Killer x Reader fic! I thought like, the reader is the new cook and Killer keeps hovering around like she's poisoning the food idk hahaha In reality, he just wants to be around, but doesn't know how to tell her.

Any special touches are so welcome! And please, take your time writing. I know you are swamped with requests and I'm not going anywhere haha Sorry for the gigantic ask!!

Thank you! Wishing you all the inspiration and love! 💙

Hello author san! Im happy to see you here in my box! This is my very first time writing for our favourite Pastaboy!! Im so excited to write for him. I hope its good and I hope you like it @holykillercake swan~~

MR. MASK

Pairing: Killer X Reader

Warning: none. Its Killer fluff!!

Word count: 2.3K

Likes/votes, comments, shares/reblogs are appreciated!

Summary : being the new cook of the Kidd pirates, comes with a very suspicious and also a curious mask dude.

"Yes. I know that and I added extra sugar for Kidd", you replied to the mask dude who was telling you, the official cook for the crew, how to make coffee for the captain.

"Just making sure", he said and started to make pasta.

"I could make it for you", you said.

"Its alright. I can do it myself. You can now go and serve the coffee to the gang", he replied without even looking at you.

'This jerk... why the hell is he like this?', you cursed under your breath and went to the rowdy gang. Mornings were the only time of the day, the assholes didn't drink.

"Heat! Wire! Wake up!!", you knocked the door and went inside. The roomies had a drowsy look on their faces. But ofcourse these two and Killer mostly stayed up guarding the ship.

Then you went to Kidds cabin and knocked once before entering.

"Captain, wake up", you said and carefully placed the hottest mug on the side of the night stand. He just grunted and turned. You knew, once Kidd woke up his drink would turn warm. So his was extra hot than others.

Once when a traitor was about to kill Kidd in his sleep, the first mate used the boiling hot coffee which was on the captains stand just in time. So... its not only a drink but also a weapon.

You quickly handed the rest of the crew, their mugs and went to the kitchen to brew the stew for the breakfast. Yes ofcourse it was wished by Kidd himself the day before.

You saw the first mate eating his pasta peacefully with his mask on. Before you were the cook, he cooked for the crew and this became his habbit to eat before the crew. He never removed his mask. Not once he revealed his face.

It would be a lie, if you said you weren't interested how he looked like and why he wore his mask always. But slowly you got used to him and his behaviour around you.

He always told you what to add and always asked what you were making. His special interest to the ingredients was weird. He looked at the ingredients and cut them for you everytime. As if you'd poison the food, if he wasn't around.

You were getting pissed by his actions day by day. You went to the stove and continued to stir the stew.

The breakfast was hectic with the rowdy crew and their massive appetite. You did feel someone staring at you once in a while. There would be 2 people if you felt like someone is staring at you. One being heat and other, the blond. Heat sat beside you, so you knew it wasnt him. And you made sure Heat could over come his shyness and ask you for food instead of staring.

You turned to look at Killer and yes, his mask was facing you. You shook your head and continued to eat the food.

And after a bit of training with Heat and Wire, you went to the kitchen to make lunch.

You got irritated when you saw the vegetables already cut. It was the work of Killer and you couldn't do anything but to sigh. You quickly started to mix the already cut veggies with the spices.

Making the Lunch was a bit peaceful. Because during this time, Killer and Kidd used to talk about some upcoming events and handled some paperwork. Sometimes they would build machines or new types of weapons.

The dinner was again a bit difficult. You could cut the vegetables this time but, he'd come to the kitchen and ask you what you were making. Sometimes he used to read books during this time. Sometimes it felt weird if... he wasn't in the kitchen.

Just like everyday after dinner, you now sat in the kitchen alone and looked at the new recipes, thinking what to make tomorrow. And like a routine, Heat came towards the Kitchen and stared at you for a few seconds before calling you.

"Hey.. Y/N", you immediately looked at him and knew what he was about to say. So you got up and went towards the fridge.

"Can I have any leftover dessert you made today", he asked as you closed the door with the dessert in your hands.

Walking towards him you placed the food before him and sat opposite to him.

He smiled happily and took a bite of the dessert and started to eat it with delight.

Yes you loved to see people enjoy the food you make. So you always made sure to save a portion for him.

You decided to ask Heat the question you had for months.

"Heat, can I ask you something"

He swallowed the dessert in his mouth and nodded.

"So... its actually about Killer", you said. Heat curiously leaned over to listen to you.

So, actually.. i feel like he is really suspicious of whatever I do and its really bothering me", you said before closing the cook book and sitting straight.

"How can he be so suspicious even after I am here for more than 4 months. I mean, if he has any problem with me, he needs to tell me right. What should I do? ", you ended with an ask and looked at him curious eyes.

He took another bite of the dessert and started to think carefully.

Finally he answered by saying, "I am pretty sure Killer is not doubting you. Maybe its better if you ask him"

"Why do you think its not the case?"

"Well, if it was... you wouldn't be alive. Its as simple as that."

'Damn that makes perfect sense. Why didn't I think like that', you mentally facepalmed yourself.

"Y/N, I believe there is something else. Why not just ask him", he suggested taking another bite.

"Yeah... thanks", you smiled at him and leaned back into your chair as you continued, "ill do that"

But ofcourse. It wasn't that easy to ask Killer. So a few days passed and one evening, the crew reached an island.

After docking, Kidd wanted to get drunk and fight other drunkards in the bar. Thinking it was a good chance to slip out of the place. The island was beautiful and the stars started to twinkle in the sky.

You walked aimlessly in the streets, which were a bit dark but still were beautiful. You didn't have to be scared. You are strong. One of the Kidd pirates. The one who always trains with the super soldiers heat and wire.

Then a park caught your attention. Walking in it you saw a slide.

'Ha... memories', you thought as you walked towards it.

The next thing you knew was you climbing up on the slide. You were ready to slide down it then you noticed the mask staring at you. You didn't know what to do. Your mind was blocked with the embarrassment. Still you slid down. Oh my... the 2 seconds slide was definitely awkward.

Both of you were so silent and just kept staring at eachother, with a blank expression.

You swore you could see his shoulders shaking. Was he... trying to hold back his laughter?

"What is so funny?", you asked with your cheeks flushed pink.

Damn he turned to another side to avoid looking at you, while he still tried to hold his laugh.

"I.. I just felt like... playing because its been a while", you tried to explain yourself while folding your arms. Then he slowly turned to look at you.

"I... didn't ask you anything", he said folding his arms.

"Tsk... why did you come here anyway?", you asked but you didn't receive any answer. You started to walk towards the swing now. He quietly followed you a few steps behind. Well you got caught so, there is no reason to hide or sacrifice the urge to play.

You sat on the swing and looked at him slowly coming towards you.

"Killer! Push the swing up high", you asked.. more like ordered.

He stood behind you in a blink of an eye and pushed the swing forward. It had been so long since you played like this.

The cool breeze felt so good. You chuckled as soon as he pushed you a bit higher. Oh how it felt like music to his ears.

After a while you asked him to stop it. You tripped as you felt a bit dizzy after swinging for so long. Ofcourse Killer was there to make sure you didn't fall down. You tapped his shoulder and made him to sit on the swing.

"Now It's your turn", you declared.

"Woah, you don't have to", he said but you didn't care and pushed the swing forward. If Killer didn't have his mask on, you could've looked at how he blushed at your actions.

Then you suddenly thought about what Heat told you. You decided it was the correct time to ask him as it was neither awkward nor anyone interrupted you two.

"So, Killer I wanted to ask you something for a while now", you saw that Killer definitely flinched when you said it.

"Wh..what is it?", he replied trying to keep him as calm as ever.

"Do you not trust me?"

"Huh?"

"I mean, you are always in the kitchen, asking me what I was doing, what I was adding, what ingredients I was using. It feels like you don't trust me", you pushed him again but he stopped to swing, by placing his legs on the ground.

"Oh no! I do trust you. I never thought you'd misunderstand my actions", he said facing you. You gave him a confused expression for which, he turned away and sighed.

"I was... trying to help you", he mumbled.

Your cheeks turned red at his answer. Then everything made sense. The way he always tried to make you know what the crew liked. How he cut veggies and other items for you. How he made his own pasta to lessen your work.

'God damn it! Now that I think, Ofcourse he was helping me', you started to curse yourself inside.

"So... you didn't knew it", his faced down looking at the ground beneath him.

"Im sorry. Killer please forgive me", you crouched before him and looked up at his mask. 'Aww how sad he seemed now.

"I'm sorry I didn't notice that you were helping me", you said taking his hand in yours.

"Its alright. It might've been my fault. I am this weird looking mask dude. No wonder you got scared"

"No no Killer. Its not because of your mask. Its not your fault. It was my fault. You are calm and collected. You always analyse things before hand. You solve fights between the crew members. You always did help me. You were always around me and made sure I didn't feel uncomfortable. You are an amazing cook and a great partner", you ended saying it.

Well with the last part you got carried away and got real close to his mask. As if you were kissing his mask.

Oh damn. You pulled back but... you were damn fricking sure, you saw shiney light blue eyes.

"Thanks Y/N", he said getting up and as you both still held hands, he pulled you up.

He placed his other hand on your waist to make sure you had balence before letting you go. He waved to you and started to walk towards the exit.

For some reason, you felt like, you'd really miss something if you just let him go now. As if... you'd not see him like always. Your legs worked their way and now you were running behind Killer.

"Killer stop!", you said and he tuned back to look at you. You couldn't stop your legs and almost tackled him down. But he was way too strong for you to tackle him down. So now, his arms were supporting you. Again!

You almost died with embarrassment but... you had to tell him.

"I didn't hate it", you said but he didn't reply. More like he didn't even know what to reply. Or... he didnt even understand what you meant.

"I didn't hate when you helped me. Infact I... liked it. Thanks for helping me then and also from now on too. So please do stay with me", you ended the sentence with looking down at the ground. It was quiet for a while.

'The fuck... why did it sound like a-'

"Is this a confession?", he asked

Your cheeks turned red at his question.

"Ah- I... But...", you struggled to come with an answer then you noticed his shoulders shaking again.

"Idiot! Dont laugh!", you shoved him back and started to walk away.

"Hey wait. No one dared to shove me and walk away", he said and followed you. You smirked at that and continued to walk with your head up.

He then continued, "Well.... except for Kidd, when he is on his period"

This shit made you to crack up and you laughed.

"Damn Kidd would kill you", you said as you placed your hand in his and you two continued to talk. You felt so warm in your heart when you held Killers hand.

Maybe something was about to start between you two.

Meanwhile in the bar of the island.

"*Achoo* I hope I didn't catch a cold", Kidd said as he snatched a drink from another person and started to make a ruckus in the bar.

XOXOXOXO

I hope you enjoyed reading this story. I hope I made justice to my very first Killer fic. I enjoyed writing so much for Killer. He is a comfort charecter of mine after Sanji. I tried so much to get a good plot for Killer.

Like/vote, comment, share/reblog to support me.

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[kuronanox]

Bad Dream - Kira Izuru

Kira looks down at the paperwork in defeat as he groans and tried to reorganize them. The wind from the window was gusting everywhere causing them to fall on the floor.

Shuffling noises were in the background as he cursed under his breath.

A small feminine hand had reached over his as Kira eyes looked up to meet (Your Name).

"Need some help Kira Fukutaicho." She asks him as he looks down at the papers again.

"Did you need something?"

"I came to turn in some papers! I've been feeling under the weather."

He props the papers on the desk to even them out and turns to her. "If you don't feel good, get some more rest (Your Name)."

She shakes her head and hands him her work. "I can't let you run the Squad all alone."

Kira slightly smiles at her as he gave his attention back to his work.

She took in his features and noticed how much he didn't smile anymore, during the academy days he was so innocent and cheerful. Growing up they were close but now it seems as she didn't know him anymore.

"Did you want to come over for dinner tonight?" She asks him as he looked up from the papers.

"Who's going?" He asked with curiosity, Kira didn't wanna intrude on her personal life especially when one of the reasons why he was feeling down was because of her relationship with Hisagi.

"Just me and Shuhei! But don't worry he won't mind! I think he kinda misses you." She winks as he wanted to frown.

"Don't you think it's weird?" He says a bit rudely not noticing his tone of language as her eyes widen from disbelief. Noticing her face sadden a bit he cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it in that way. I'm actually behind on the Captains papers so I probably won't have time." He added.

"Well you don't have to do it alone! Shuhei is in the same position so maybe you guys could do it together and we can all drink a bit! I'll even invite Matsumoto Fukutaicho if it lightens the mood!"

Kira didn't want to be in the same room as (Your Name) and Shuhei. He tried to think anyway possible to escape tonight but she seemed on insisting he come out.

"I guess, what time tonight?"

"Around 8! I'll cook dinner!" She says with a smile on her face as she ran out happily.

Knowing it made her happy that he was coming out was okay with Kira even though he wasn't in the mood to socialize.

"Kira?" Shuhei asks with a smile as he got back from work while leaning his zanpakuto on the wall.

"Yes! He's seems down a lot recently so I thought inviting him to dinner would be a good way to have fun, oh Matsumoto is coming too!" (Your Name) said as she pulled out some veggies and protein out from the fridge.

Shuhei wrapped his arms around her body as he kissed her temple as she smiled while cutting the broccoli.

"That was nice of you, I've been worried about him." He tells her letting go and washing his hands to help prep with dinner.

"And I've been worry about you." (Your Name) states to Shuhei as he raises a brow and started to wash the rice.

There was a knock on the door before he could say anything.

"Hey we're here! Open up!" Rangiku cheerful voice rang around from outside as Kira was standing behind her with a tired expression.

"Hey! We just got started on dinner! Come on in!" (Your Name) welcomes them into her and Shuhei shared home.

It was Kira first time here, he took in the view. There was nothing really special that stood out to him except a few decor and a guitar in the living room. There was a few picture frame of the couple as they smiled to each other.

There was jealousy in the blonde lieutenant as he looked away from them and set a bottle of sake down he brought.

"Kira! Finally see you've been out of your own quarantine!" Shuhei greets him and pats him on the back.

"Slightly busy that's all." He tells the older man and smiles.

Rangiku sat down and cracked a sake open while they waited for dinner. She was in a cheerful mood today. "Oi we haven't been able to drink together in a while!" She tells Kira as he chuckles and gets himself a small cup.

"Likewise."

As him and Rangiku took small talk he could see in his peripheral version Shuhei and (Your Name) happily cooking together. There was small kisses stolen from each other as they were in sync.

"Dinner is served!" Shuhei yells placing down the rice, salmon and veggies along with miso soup to wash it down.

"Wow a chef in the house." Rangiku says as they all dug in.

"You guys started without us!" (Your Name) pouts noticing that two bottles of sake were already empty from Kira and the busty women sitting next to him.

"Ooo sorry that means y'all have to catch up!" She says as they poured themselves a cup.

Kira slightly smiles at (Your Name) cuteness as he took a bite of the fresh cooked fish. A part of him was thankful that it wasn't them three alone. He already didn't wanna talk much but the alcohol was kicking in and he was also thankful rangiku was there.

He didn't notice how hungry he was till a pair of chopsticks had put down a new piece of salmon in his bowl nonchalantly. It was (Your Name) as she was conversing with Rangiku about their new beauty routine with Shuhei listening and putting his input.

It felt like he was in the academy again, when he forgot to eat or wasn't eating enough (Your Name) was always feeding him and taking care of his health. The lieutenant knew she brought him out tonight so he could enjoy himself more.

"Thank you." He says as her flushed face smiles at him and went back to her conversation.

He blushed but it wasn't noticeable because of all the alcohol he already consumed.

"Kira you are particularly quiet for being drunk already!" Rangiku chimes in as he was lost for words.

"I- I am not drunk!"

"Sure you are! You finished 3 bottles alone already!" Shuhei laughs as he just groaned.

It was later in the night when it started to get rowdy, they all had a few to many as they were shouting to each other.

They were playing card games and gotten into it. They decided ride the bus because apparently kisuke had showed Rangiku a while back when she was in the human world. He told her it was a drinking game a lot of college students were doing so she wanted to hop on the trend.

"Kira you're on the bus so you have to keep drinking till you get these cards right!" She said as he took sips of the beer they had brought out for back up.

As he was drinking (Your Name) and Shuhei were cleaning a bit since it was getting messy.

Him and Rangiku were having to much fun that Shuhei retired for the because he had an early morning but he insisted on them staying and enjoying themselves.

By the time Kira won the card game he was sauced and couldn't walk in a straight line. He knew drinking with Rangiku was going to be a disaster.

"Did you want me to take him back?" He heard Rangiku ask (Your Name) as he was slumped on the table.

"It's okay, he can stay for the night. We work together anyways so I'll wake him up tomorrow." (Your Name) tells the older lady as she left for the night.

"Okay big boy, help me will ya." She tells Kira as she laid out a futon for him to sleep in comfortably.

He wrapped an arm around her waist as he walked towards the bed made on the floor. Tripping on his foot they fell over as she gasped.

"Kira you are crushing me!" She silently whispers so Shuhei wouldn't wake up from their shenanigans.

"Just let me hug you (Your Name)." He says breathlessly with his eyes closed. Kira wanted to enjoy this moment because he knew she could never be his.

"Kira?"

He looks down to her lips as she looked up to him innocently. A part of him didn't want to be the bad guy but what was so wrong with being bad once in a while.

He knew it was the alcohol bringing out everything he was holding in, he was going to regret his actions the next morning. Cupping her face he kissed her parted lips. It didn't help that she wrapped her legs around his waist as he groaned. Letting his tongue slip into her mouth.

She flipped him over so she sat on top, just when things were beginning to get spicy he opened his eyes and.

"KIRA IZURU! You wake up this instant now!" He heard a voice called out as he jumped out of bed and looked to his side to see a concern (Your Name) next to him. She sighed in relief and pushed his hair out of the way from his face.

"Are you dating Hisagi San?!" He asks quickly out of breath as she tilted her head and slightly smacks his forehead.

"Ow!"

"Hello! What were you dreaming about? I'm dating you stupid." She says as he calmed down a bit and laughs rubbing the back of his neck.

"It was just a dream, thank goodness."

(Your Name) looked confused as she jumped on top of Kira and laid her head on his chest.

"Whatever it was Izuru I'm always going to be yours." She says as he laid back down and rubbed her back. He was cheesing to himself to know (Your Name) wasn't going anywhere.

"I know, it was just a dream." He says as she kissed his lower lip and grinned.

"I love you, you know that."

"Of course, I love you too, always."

(Authors note: just a cute fluff I made! Have y'all seen Kira now! He's making me simp! noooo I already have my bleach bias and he's breaking it!)

#bleach #tite kubo #bleach x reader #bleach imagines #bleach oneshot #bleach oneshots #kira izuru #izuru kira #bleach kira

[mypoisonedvine]

pls give us more dad!bodecker i love him sm

(gets smutty below the cut but it's mostly fluff!)

“Daddy!” Beatrice squealed as she tumbled across the room to latch onto Lee’s legs the second he’d burst through the door, Penny following just behind in a crawl.  Lee laughed as he knelt down and scooped them both up in his arms, gasping in surprise as Beatrice kissed him on the cheek.

“Oh, I get a kiss?” he grinned.  She kissed him again and he squeezed her tight.  “You’re gonna spoil me, Bea.”

“Do I get to give Daddy a kiss, too?” you asked your daughter, but she wrapped her arms around his neck and shook her head.  “No, you want him all to yourself?”

“She’s already gettin’ bossy like her mama,” Lee winked.

You rolled your eyes before leaning in and giving your husband a kiss anyway, regardless of Beatrice giving you the stink eye as he set her down.

“How’s Lee Jr. doing?” he asked, putting his hand on your belly where it was just starting to protrude.

“How are you so sure it’s a boy?” you pressed.

“I think if I wish for it hard enough, it’ll have to come true,” he decided, handing Penny to you when she reached in your direction.

“And if it’s a girl?”

“Then I’ll love her just the same... and get you pregnant again as soon as possible,” he smirked.

“Am I supposed to be eternally pregnant until you get a son?”

“No, no, I might still want more after that, too.”

You giggled but truly, you loved your children so much and you didn’t at all mind the idea of a big family.  And Lee was a great father-- so much better than his own, doting and patient and generous, never angry.  If anything he had forced you to be the disciplinarian because he couldn’t bring himself to yell at his favorite girls (which included you, of course).

Beatrice was a force of nature at only five years old, unlike Penny who was only two-and-a-half adorably shy.  They were joined at the hip, though, and excited about the prospect of a new little sibling to play with.  Even though you mocked him for it, you wanted a boy, too, even if just to watch Lee dote on him.  You were going to have to bargain with him about not making him a Junior, though.  

Dinner was almost peaceful as the four of you crowded around the table; Lee helped Beatrice cut her food while you fed Penny in her high chair with those cute rubber-coated baby spoons.

"You gonna eat them vegetables, Bea?" Lee asked her as he watched her push them around with her fork. She shook her head, making Lee frown. "But they're so yummy, see?" he smiled as he shoved a huge bite of his own into his mouth. "Mmm," he hummed, overacting as he chewed.

Beatrice didn't seem convinced, giving her dad a crooked stare.

"I bet if you eat all your veggies, Daddy will let you have a piece of candy," you suggested.

Suddenly, Beatrice was shovelling the green beans into her mouth like it was a race. "All done!" she announced around a mouth full of food.

Lee insisted on putting them to bed while you rested after dinner, even though he'd already helped you cook and cleaned up everything for you. You were reading a book when he came back in, smiling and resting his head against the doorframe.

"Did they go down pretty easy?" you asked, not looking up from the paper until he failed to answer, just standing there and staring at you. "What are you looking at?"

"Just my beautiful wife," he smiled, finally stepping in and shutting the door behind you, joining you on the bed as you set down your book. "Can't a man look at his wife?"

"Yes, but it'd be nice if he answered her questions while he did it," you smirked.

"It took a few bedtime stories but I got 'em to settle down," he explained as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into him.

"So the girls are asleep, then?" you asked slowly, tracing over the exposed sliver of his chest where his shirt was unbuttoned. He looked down at you with a raised eyebrow.

"Sure, what's it to ya?"

"I just thought maybe you'd wanna do more than just look at your wife..."

A low growl rattled his throat and made you clench your thighs together as he slowly untied your robe, letting it fall open and exposing your naked body to him. "Think you can keep quiet, pretty girl?"

You nodded and bit your lip as those thick fingers tickled over your hips and finally found themselves between your legs, slowly teasing you there until your head fell back on his shoulder.

"Feel good, sweetpea?" he asked lowly.

"Yes," you gasped, "please, Lee, don't make me wait too long, I need you inside me..."

He chuckled, rolling you onto your side while he started to open his belt and slacks. You moaned and arched your back, waiting for him to push into you. Instead the head of his cock began to tease you as well, rubbing your clit and sliding over your opening.

"Daddy, please," you whimpered.

"I bet you want it rough, little girl," he groaned right against your ear, making you shiver. "I bet you wish I'd fuck you hard and rough, choke you, slap you, spank you..."

You nodded feverishly, "god, yes, please!"

"But you know I can't when you're pregnant," he reminded you.

"Not so much that you can't but that you won't," you sighed.

"You're sick of all this tender lovemaking, huh? You want something dirty and quick," he posited, laughing as you nodded again and tried to push your hips down onto his cock. "Needy slut."

You whimpered at the name and felt even more wetness warming your entrance.

"Oh, look at that," he purred, "so wet and ready for me."

He pushed in rougher than usual, just enough to make you groan as you bit down on your lip. Holding your hips down, he fucked you slow but deep. "Fuck, just like that, daddy, thank you," you moaned.

"What a noisy little fucktoy you are," he laughed. "Keep moanin' for my cock, whore."

His thrusts got faster, rougher, deeper as his vock started to flex within you. "Gonna fill you up, pretty baby, gonna fuckin' fill you up-- ah fuck!"

You didn't really have a choice as every movement was sliding against your swollen g-spot, and at this angle his balls slapped your clit when he was all the way inside.

Your eyes were closed so you didn't see his fingers pressing into your mouth, you only felt them as you obediently opened your lips and sucked him in. He moaned as you swirled your tongue around them, and took them in your throat effortlessly.

"You're so well-trained, you don't even gag anymore," he chuckled. "Every guy in town is already jealous of me, can you imagine if they knew how well you take me in your throat? If they knew how much you beg me to breed your pussy? If they knew what a cock-hungry, desperate slut you are for me? Their heads would fuckin' explode."

You keened and arched your back further, pushing the tip of him so deep that your whole body quivered. He leaned closer to suck a mark on your neck, his teeth digging into your skin just enough to make your eyes roll back in your head from the mix of pain and pleasure.

"Hmm, you like that idea, don't you? You want them to know... you like the attention, you like when they watch you walk past and their wives get jealous," he growled. "Fuckin' whore, you know it drives me crazy-- is that what you like about it? Makin' me lose my mind worrying that my wife could get any man she wants?"

"I just want you," you promised, "only you, daddy, there's nobody else, I swear!"

"Just shut up and listen," he hissed, clamping his hand down over your mouth. "You can't lie to me when I'm inside you, pretty girl, now just be honest: you like making your poor daddy jealous, don't you?"

Nervously, you nodded against the hand on your face.

"Of course you do," he smiled, "'cause you like how I fuck you when I wanna make sure you're mine."

You nodded again, muffled moans getting louder as your orgasm started building faster than even you expected.

"You've got this pretty mark on your neck to show for it," he purred as he licked where the bruise was forming, "so you and everybody else knows how good your daddy fucked you."

"I'm close," you mumbled.

"What was that?" he asked, removing his hand from your mouth.

"I'm close!"

"Oh, I knew that," he laughed, "I can feel your pussy grippin' me so tight, tryna make me come in ya. Is that what you want, princess?"

"Yes!" you moaned, almost screaming it, "yes, come in me, daddy, I love you so much, please!"

His come coated your walls as they flexed and pulsed for him, warmth seeping into you from the inside out.

Both of you caught your breath as he laid back and rolled you until you were laying on his chest. "You're okay, right? I wasn't too rough with ya?"

"No, I'm fine," you chuckled, "you really are a softie, Sheriff."

"Ooh, you only call me that after I love you up real good," he beamed, kissing your forehead.

"That's not true, I call you that when we're out in public," you denied.

"Yeah, but before we go out in public I always love you up real good," he smirked. You slapped his chest playfully but it was generally pretty true. "I'd better get up and take my shower, get ready for bed an' all."

"No," you protested, clutching his torso, "don't go yet... just stay here until I fall asleep, please?"

"Okay, sweet girl," he sighed, relaxing under your touch, "close your eyes."

You always fell asleep so easily when you were in his arms.

#lee bodecker headcanon #lee bodecker x y/n #lee bodecker smut #lee bodecker x reader #twi!lee #lee bodecker fluff

[kyloswarstars]

ROOMMATES • Part 2

Divergent • College AU • Eric x Reader

ROOMMATES masterlist 💫 Divergent masterlist

You escaped your current living situation by moving in with your friend Christina – and five other college students. Little did you know that one of them was the guy who was your ultimate pain in the neck since your first semester. Now, you had to find a way to not strangle him in his sleep out of pure frustration. Also, you had to find a way to get rid of those weird butterfly feelings for him that slowly grew in your stomach.

Words • 2k

The enemies to lovers story no one needed.

/////

The donut shop had air conditioning. It was pure heaven. A donut shop was heaven to you 365 days a year anyways. The AC, though… yes.

Christina chewed on her third blue glazed donut and refused to answer your questions. First, she refused. Then, she tried to talk her way out of it. In the end, she mentioned the friendship code, which applied in this case to Eric, and therefore she couldn’t say anything.

The confusion was real. You didn’t understand anything when most of the time you always understood everything. Following things you knew:

A) Eric always entangled you in debates. Sometimes it was a civil exchange, most of the times he got your blood boiling until you were close to lose your temper. This happened in class and other college surroundings, where you talked about a study related topic.

B) Until last week you always thought it was because of his ego and pure strive to demonstrate his intellect why he went for, at some point, the silliest of statements you had ever heard.

C) You also thought he did it just to piss you off.

D) Then last week happened. Then this afternoon happened and left you entirely confused.

E) Christina must know another reason why Eric constantly sought for an academic dispute. His statement from a couple hours ago, that there was ‚no reason‘, was highly suspicious. But Chris also didn’t tell you the reason.

F) That only led you to one, logical guess on what that unsaid reason could be.

„Is this about him having a long planned strategy to become the number one student of our year?“ Him seeing you as a serious competition to that title was the only reason you could think of. It wasn’t too odd of an assumption since after all those debates, silly statements or not, he was one of the smartest guys you had met so far.

Chris swallowed a bit of her new donut. Donut number four. „He isn’t in our year.“

You had sipped on your milkshake and instantly looked up. „What do you mean?“ Having to ask that question again frustrated you.

„That he’s way past us. He just finished his third year of medical school.“

„Excuse me?“ You got up from your seat and started wandering around the empty donut shop. „I’m surprised my body hasn’t taken the form of a question mark yet,“ you slowly talked yourself into a frenzy. „Christina, you’re telling me that Eric, who keeps pissing me off in two of my classes, for the last two years, isn’t even in my year? That he’s studying to become a doctor?“ Please behold me from chopping off a finger or something and him helping me.

She looked a little guilty for not giving you more information. Also a little amused.

„I am studying to become a damn mathematician. Why on earth would a medical student attend those classes?“

Christina had the audacity to laugh out loud. „I’m sorry, Y/N.“ Karma came around instantly and made her choke on a piece of donut for a few seconds. You hurried over to harshly pat her back until she coughed it out. „All I know is,“ she was still gasping for air, „he sometimes takes random classes for fun. Or for one of his big assignments.“

That was all. You wouldn’t get any further information. She crossed her arms and ignored all of your remaining questions. At least she left the donut shop with a stomachache and you knowing that Eric wasn’t even a math student.

/////

Once a week all roommates had at least one dinner together. ‚To strengthen the community‘ Uriah mumbled to you while you helped him turn the groceries, he and Chris had bought today, into a prober dish. Rice with a lot of veggies was the meal for tonight.

You were the last one to sit down and were surprised, and a little nervous, to find Eric sitting in the spot across from yours. He must’ve come home while you were still concentrating on not letting the veggies burn to death.

Christina hardly ate anything after her five donuts. Being a reasonable adult, you only had one donut at the shop.

„Who chose to put mushrooms in there?“ Eric didn’t look too glad when his fork discovered a tiny mushroom.

„Me,“ you stated, not afraid to have another silly debate. This time probably about how mushrooms shouldn’t be harvested because it takes away a food supply for deers.

„Next time just roast it short. Don’t turn it into these rubber–“

„Shut up, Eric.“ Four intervened. „Be glad someone made dinner.“

Exactly. You smiled at Four for his backup and continued eating. Even though you highly concentrated on the bowl in front of you, your eyes occasionally moved to Eric, to see if he had found another thing he disliked about the meal. And every single time his eyes met with yours.

This dinner wasn’t like all the previous ones you had here since moving in. It was unusually quiet. Everyone headed pretty fast into their rooms after finishing up and collectively cleaning the dishes.

Eric lingered around and was actually the last one to help you with putting back the plates and cutlery to where they belonged. You leaned to the countertop and tried not to stare too obviously when he stretched to place some glasses on the top shelf. He wore a t-shirt where he must’ve cut off the sleeves and the way his arm muscles moved, with every glass he put on that shelf, should be forbidden.

What? Oh man. That you caught yourself thinking that way, even though Eric didn’t notice it because he was still occupied with the dishes, made you feel uncomfortable in your own skin. You hid your hands in your pockets to act casual. That’s when you noticed one of the many papers that were spread in nearly every clothing pocket and backpack of yours.

One of the many habits – coping mechanisms, actually – you had, was to write down unsolved problems in mathematics and brood over them whenever your brain was close to panic itself into a breakdown. To sit down and concentrate on a problem and search for a possibility to solve it, was what got you to study the most hated subject in the first place.

You pulled the paper out and checked what it referred to. The Riemann zeta function.

You tried to recall if any of the many debates with Eric ever had been about mathematics. They had never been about math at all you realised. The classes he had gone to were the social orientated ones. Those, where you discussed scenarios and ways on how to solve problems with a mathematical solution. Or at least help out along the way. And the debates were mostly about the logical or philosophic aspects. The reason why it had always been so easy for Eric to pull you into those discussions was because you didn’t study mathematics just for the sake of it. You didn’t want to become only a professor to teach others about it. You wanted to help people with all the abilities math provided. For example the study you worked on right now: a mathematical model to predict the success of immunotherapy for patients with cancer.

This is perfect.

There was no way Eric could enter a serious debate about the zeta function and not show that he studied something completely different. With a grin on your lips you cleared your throat to get his attention. Eric crossed his arms as he turned to you.

The game is on.

„Since you know everything better than me, and us living under the same roof now, I was wondering if you would take a look at some equations. I’m kinda stuck.“

Something in his face changed but he still said: „Sure.“

That’s a mistake, my friend. You handed him the paper, which he had to unfold his arms for again to take it. Those arms were bigger than the pile of books next to your mattress. Why did you never notice his muscles before? And why did you never notice that sharp jawline?

The concentration on his face didn’t give away that he had absolutely no clue what was on that paper. Time did. A minute or two went by without him looking up or saying a word. „That seems like a serious problem. I’m passing.“

„What are you studying again?“ Your voice as innocent as you could manage it to be.

„Why would you ask?“ He played it off. The crooked smile on his lips let you know he had a feeling for where this conversation would go, though.

„Because someone studying mathematics, like I do, would recognise the famous zeta function whose solution would earn you a reward of one million dollars.“

„I never said I study mathematics, Y/N.“ Eric grinned like you were the fool here. Like you had overseen something big. Like your little trap hadn’t worked.

„But you attend four full semesters of classes that aren’t necessary? Are you having such a big problem with me that you just can’t stay away?“ His stupid grin made it worse. That rage came rushing in because those ludicrous disputes sometimes had you thinking you were a complete idiot. „I mean no normal person would take those two extra classes for four solid semesters on top of damn medical classes. What’s wrong with you?“

„I like the extra knowledge.“ He simply stated, snapped a bottle of water from the countertop and slowly made his way down the hallway to his room. „And debating with you.“

/////

For your own wellbeing, and not to flip every time you thought about Eric being the biggest prick on this earth, you decided he was just a little sadist. Who had probably his only fun by infuriating you. You were glad to know about that hobby of his now and could focus on the more important things in life until next semester.

He just didn’t make it easy at all. Living under the same roof had diverted the debates from class to the dining table. Plus it had added a lot of other intentional disturbance on his part.

For a while you tried to just ignore it because he was a sadist, as you declared. On the other hand he exactly got what he had aimed at. Your anger.

„Eric,“ you shouted at the wall, knowing very well that he could hear you because you heard perfectly fine what kind of little movie he was watching. It paused for a few seconds and you breathed out in relief. Then it started again. So you raised your voice another time. „Use damn headphones!“

The only thing that happened was Uriah peeking his head in your room, with some incredibly high raised eyebrows. „Are you okay?“

„I am not.“ You buried your face in your hands. „Eric is watching porn and I can’t concentrate,“ you stated in despair.

„I’ll handle it,“ he smiled and was fast to knock at Eric’s door and enter his room after a ‚come in‘. They discussed for a while and Uriah gave you a thumbs up as he passed your room on his way back to the kitchen. Problem solved? Sounded like it. No noise from the other side of the room anymore.

The newest data had come in for the study this morning and you didn’t get anywhere yet. You just hadn’t been able to because of… picturing Eric watching porn. Ban it from your consciousness. With another deep breath, you started working in the newest data and focus only on your task. And it worked for a couple of minutes. Until Eric decided not to use headphones anymore and his porn noises echoed through the wall again.

I will strangle him in his sleep one night.

/////

A/N • I'm enjoying this way too much so there will soon be another update. probably next weekend. ok bye

Taglist • @longlostinanotherworld

Wanna get tagged too for future updates? Lemme know 🖤

#divergent #insurgent #eric #eric coulter #divergent eric #divergent eric coulter #divergent eric fanfiction #divergent eric imagine #eric x reader #eric coulter x reader #eric coulter fanfiction #eric coulter imagine #divergent eric x reader #divergent fanfiction #divergent imagine #fanfiction #fanfic #imagine #college au #kyloswarstars