#who want to spend time with me

[inkskinned]

they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?

they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.

you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.

you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.

mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.

you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.

#writeblr #warm up #to be clear let me state again: i think you should id however you fucking want if it helps you seek peace #but there is a HUGE difference between being like '.... im undiagnosed but i think i might be X' #and a person who is like ''omg my intrusive thoughts made me buy a birkin!!!'' #babe mine made me throw up bc they disgusted me so much <3 #mine made me hurt myself evenly. even when i wanted to stop. i have had to put my hand on the stove MULTIPLE TIMES #and again i'd rather have 10000 people get help for something they don't need help for #than have 1 kid NOT get help #but there has GOTTTTT to be a middle ground here #bc at this point it isn't ''raising awareness'' #it's . fucking misinformation. and ''what this picture says about you!!!!!'' #& yes! im mostly talkin about ppl who are actually disgusted and offended by signs of mental illness #but use it to defend THEIR actions #like babe you hate when kids start yelling in the walmart? but you YOuRSELF can yell? #you are depressed so it's fine you were cruel to your spouse? #but if your spouse spends too much time in bed she's a lazy fuck? #your partner needs to do everything for you bc of your history in trauma? but when SHE has needs she's being clingy and gross? #HUGE difference here between whom i think most of my followers are btw. like #all it takes is fucking anyyyy empathy or kindness . like. #anyway it's hard to explain im hoping we all know the person im talking about lol

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 1: Dread on Arrival

(Part 2)

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #lan wangji #jiang fengmian #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #Yungmeng Jiang Training Arc AU #MDZS AU #The AU name for this idea is something I am 100% willing to change if someone has a better one. #There will be at least 2-3 more comics so *please*. Ideas and feedback welcome. #The core idea behind this AU is that LWJ goes to study with the Yunmeng Jiang sect instead of JC and WWX going to Cloud Recess #But why? Well I imagine Lan Xichen set it up to give LWJ a challenge (more social than skill based) and LWJ rose to it (begrudgingly) #Sort of a 'You've mastered so many Lan techniques but Other Sects have styles that are worth learning.' set up. #Lan Qiren agrees mostly on the basis that...well it's LWJ. Yunmeng Jiang is unruly but LWJ is beyond that riff-raff. He'll rise above it. #This is the story of a boy who thrives on routine and rules spending time in a place that is his apparent antithesis. #Also it is so warm there. He is used to it being cold and what do you MEAN just take off some of my layers? #I just want to see him struggle and flail in many situations. And get him in Jiang Purple. Is that so wrong of me? #(Soaking wet JC is part of my 'JC was born to swim; forced to hold a sword' agenda. Do not remove him from the water) #((Politeness notes: JFM would *not* call LWJ 'lan wangji' nor would LWJ be vocally impolite to a sect leader.))

[maddymoreau]

Thinking about how Diavolo’s feelings transcend time and how in the Nightbringer UR+ card Demon Lord’s Castle Tour this conversation happens.

When asked, “Do you wish to see your father?”

Diavolo responds:

“I suppose I do . . .” isn’t the typical reaction to how a child would feel about wanting to see their parent. Especially when said parent has essentially been in a coma for a year.

Along with how Diavolo describe his father.

It makes more sense why when you learn in Lesson 56 how Diavolo was treated by him growing up.

Diavolo can tell when others are lying but is unable to understand his father’s intentions.

Diavolo mentions that he lived a very sheltered life growing up. That from a young age his father never allowed him a chance to talk to anyone outside the castle.

His childhood friend was Mephistopheles. A demon literally RAISED to be his friend. Putting a barrier between the two because Mephistopheles would put Diavolo on a pedestal.

The isolating childhood he experienced riddled with his strict father constantly scolding him.

Despite everything MC is so important to him he wants to see his father again so we can meet.

#Demons and Humans can’t get married even in the present so it adds an extra layer him wanting to introduce us. #There’s a lot more you could add onto this (please do I’d love to hear other’s thoughts). #Like how Diavolo’s childhood affected him just look at the way he describes himself: #“The truth is I am a child in a way. A child who spends his time alone and never gets to do anything interesting.” #A lot of Diavolo’s poor behavior while not excused comes from his childhood. #How Diavolo admits to using his position to force others to do what he wants. Along with how he doesn’t like sharing. #Diavolo’s insecurities in his friendships with others. #Mainly Lucifer and Barbatos which makes sense with how they happened. #IE Forcing Barbatos to become his butler and the oath/deal with Lucifer regarding Lilith. #It’s clear Diavolo is very lonely and carrying a heavy burden. #I like that MCs presence is helping him change into a better person. #Also I don’t think Diavolo hates his father their relationship just isn’t good and very complicated. #Diavolo is such a wonderful character if you have any in-depth posts about him please tag me I’d love to read them!!! #I AM FILLED WITH SAPPY THOUGHTS ABOUT DIAVOLO TONIGHT!!!! #Obey Me #Obey Me Spoiler #Obey Me Nightbringer #OMSWD #Obey Me Diavolo #Diavolo #MaddyMajolish #Is it obvious I can’t sleep because I’m riddled with Blorbo thoughts

[napping-sapphic]

PLEASE make a blanket and pillow bed on the floor with me PLEASE get distracted midway through and start a pillow fight PLEASE lay down on it and watch movies on our laptop and cuddle with me PLEASE kiss me goodnight and sleep with me there PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE—

#wlw #wlw mood #sapphic #sapphism #lesbian #PLEASE wake up with back pain with me so we can take turns giving each other massages #i WANT this #lets cuddle on silly little homemade beds that don’t really work #but we made it so we love it anyway #and we’re spending time together so who cares about the rest #ughhhhhh #im gay and i like sleeping

[uncanny-tranny]

Hey, if you have speech impediments, you are so amazing.

If you stutter or have a lisp or misspeak easily or you have a flat affect or a limited verbal vocabulary or if your voice is AAC or if you just have a difference in your vocality, you are so incredibly important and amazing.

Just know that your voice is yours. Nobody will ever be able to truly take it away. Your voice is part of you, and you deserve to make it as true to you as you deem fit. I hope you have the space to grow with your voice and whatever about it makes it unique.

#positivity #disability positivity #partially because so much of voical differences arise from disability #i've developed a really annoying lisp-ish issue #and it's hard to be positive about it because it makes me feel like i'll be treated as lesser because it's a 'childish' affect #but i literally can't help it unless i spend 110% of my focus on it. and i don't have that amount of energy #but it makes me think about others and especially those who have it more intensely than i do #and i just want to uplift everybody because vocal differences are neutral at worst #man my dad always tells a story about this coworker he had who had a stutter like you wouldn't believe... #...and he was fucking BRUTALIZED for it... 'c-c-c-c-CAN YOU GET TO THE POINT?!' is how people would talk to him... #...and obviously that made his stutter twice as fucking worse and i can't imagine the shame and humiliation that followed... #...i hope he learned that those assholes were a fucking waste of time and that he doesn't have to deal with that... #...like i'm sorry but there is no fucking need to be that sadistic toward somebody who is obviously already anxious and worried

[flufflecat]

this is the most beautiful creature on earth and I will kill someone if it asks me to

#horseshoe crabs #I had a fun day at the beach #60% of my time was spent looking for horseshoe crabs #sadly I didn't find any tagged ones so no horseshoe crab pin for me 😔 #God I love these creatures though #shoutout to the girl and her boyfriend who were very interested in hearing my Horseshoe Crab Facts spiel #especially bc the girl let me teach her how to hold the crab so she could take a pic with it #I respect you random beach girl #and your lack of fear when faced with a creature that looks like a facehugger #I'm obsessed with how utterly chill and harmless horseshoe crabs are #they just scoot along like little roombas #and look so creepy but have no ability to hurt anyone #(I don't think they're creepy though. I think they're adorable perfect little angels) #and the way they move is perfect. it looks fake #I wish I could spend the next 7 hours at the beach staring at horseshoe crabs #why oh why must I be here with my family. these losers want to do things like 'go back to the hotel because it's getting dark' #booooo cowards #join me in some nighttime horseshoe crab excursions #cute animals #crabs #(not actually a crab)

[royalarchivist]

I say this in the kindest way possible, but I think this style of prose is more appropriate for a personal account rather than an update account. I have no idea who's being talked about half the time. 🥲

[ Tumblr meme via @mikaikaika ]

#QSMP #Philza #Edited #Phil #Let me know if this needs an additional tag #I don't think this necessitates a discourse or neg tag or whatever because I'm being silly but I'm happy to add one if folks need it #I won't post this one on Twitter I don't think because I genuinely don't want to hurt anyone's feelings #but. I feel very strongly about this. It's not helpful #I say this as a fan and as a professional writer (who also worked in the Marketing and Communications field for far too long) #The prose is nice! It's very whimsical and they're having fun! But I don't think it's appropriate for an updates account #I recently turned off notifications for QsmpEN and I'm considering muting them because half the updates just aren't helpful to me #I want to be able to speed read through the update thread I don't want to spend an additional 30 seconds trying to decipher who's who #I don't like posting complaints so I tried to make it a funny complaint #because I do think feedback is good! And I know I'm not the only one who feels this way #but at the same time: these update writers ARE volunteers #(As a side note -- I personally think anyone running a large social media account should be paid) #(I did that for a few years and it was hell. I can't imagine doing that and NOT getting paid for it) #But anyways #They're all volunteers so I don't actually wanna go all pitchforks and torches on them (which I wouldn't do anyways even if they WERE paid) #I'm just venting my frustrations in what is (hopefully) a funny way #but you're welcome to disagree! That's ok too #Portfolio

[senatortedcruz]

Totally agree with this but what’s even funnier is getting literal nonstop ads for Saudi tourism on Insta like their reputation is not still Gender Apartheid Country

#I’m someone who wants to travel a lot but nothing to me is enticing about the soulless gulf states #if you want to party and spend a lot of money I feel like there’s places where you don’t run the risk of jail time for sex outside wedlock

[chai-berries]

abby coming home after work and you’re fixing dinner — homemade pizza — and she stands in the kitchen, leaning against the counter as she tells you about her day, including a morning gym session that she swears made her buffer

“what?” you laugh and she takes it as a chance to show off for you and jokingly flexes her arms for you, going “oh yeah? how’s this for a gun show?” and you’re giving her your best audience reactions, oohing and awing as she does different poses. you reach up and squeeze her bicep.

“my girl is so strong,” you coo

abby drops her arms and leans into your space “i’ll show you strong” followed by her wrapping her arms around you and picking you up, swinging you around. you squeal out a laugh, begging her to let you down while also never wanting your goofy abby to leave you alone.

#i’m so down bad for her #i spend my post-work time just imagining scenarios #… tbh i do it at work too #love to dissociate with abby <3 #idk why she’s always picking you up — #it kinda reminds me of my brother who’s first thing he’d do if celebrating with his lil siblings was pick them up #i just think she’s strong enough to pick up almost everyone who wants to be picked up soooo #also want pizza so bad #these are always self-indulgent first #abby brainrot era #abby anderson x reader #mads’ headcanons

[opens-up-4-nobody]

:-P

#guess who cant draw hugh lories face. me i cant. #i mean. i could probably do it if i wanted to spend more time on it and wasnt drawing while out of wack but ya kno #these 2 r insane tho. so crazy #house md #hilson #gregory house #james wilson

[almightyshadowchan]

“San Lang, are you trying to distract me?”

“Gege! I wouldn’t dare try to distract His Highness from his important duties~ (Is it working?)

#he’s the cat who sits on your keyboard when you’ve gone too long without paying him attention #tgcf #hualian #heaven official's blessing #tian guan ci fu #hua cheng #xie lian #me: i don’t want to spend too much time drawing a divan so imma just do a simple couch #also me: -hours later- why am i like this

[just-somedude]

.

#I had to go to a high school friend's funeral a couple weeks ago #the guy was like an older brother to me #he was only 23 #I spent an hour alone in a room with his coffin just crying #wishing I had gotten to spend more time with him #Now because of that #I'm making sure to live my life exactly how I want to #I've had people tell me to “do the smart thing” and build a career #travel in short spurts etc #fuck that #I want to be the unemployed friend in all those memes #the guy who you don't hear from until you get a video from a glacial lake in the middle of the wilderness #and then a week later a picture from atop a mountain #I want to do cool shit #I want to have DAD LORE #stories to tell #people to tell them #mid life crisis at 22 is crazy but FUCK IT WE BALL #anyways my rambling is over if you're still reading this I'll give you a smooch

[leolaroot]

ferengi with a service slug. its shell is waist high with a brightly patterned harness and it helps with mobility and allergen detection tasks.

support sehlat in a Vulcan classroom used for emotional self-regulation in small children. you can bury your face in soft fur or get deep pressure therapy from a large paw pressing into the centre of your chest

an old bajoran farmer who was once a resistance fighter and is always accompanied by one of his livestock, who are untrained but eager to offer support when the pain of old injuries takes away control of his right leg

a blind starfleet officer lead by a guide dog through the halls of their starship to the laboratory where they work. the dog wears an official starfleet harness and their own combadge

a young bolian woman with paralyzed hands whose service bird has been trained to retrieve, carry, and manipulate objects, open doors, and get the attention of her support worker when they arent physically near

#the future is disabled btw. science fiction must create space for the disabled. #i spend a serious amount of time thinking about the potential service tasks that could be offered by alien animals. #mutuals if you want to make an oc with a service animal but feel hesitant. I WILL HELP YOU i want all characters to have a service animal #forever and ever amen. #I'm no expert and im not stellar at communication but this is something that makes me excited. #trek ocs especially bc theyre on my brain but i can help with regular people who want refular earth animals aswell.

[mikrotyalm13]

everything about Gavriil feels suffocating.

how his presence alone can be almost overwhelming, how his massive body cages you everytime without a chance to escape. you wouldn't dare to try anyway, knowing that you don't even have a say against a creature of his caliber. he will find you. in your dreams, in your nightmares. in your room.

how he will be intense and vague about everything just for the sake of it; to confuse you further, to see the conflict of emotions in your eyes merge with arousal. eventually your hesitance turns into acceptance, a desperate need to feel his hands all over you. and he will be oh so grateful to fulfill that desire.

how his thick tongue pushes past your lips and into your mouth, reaching almost the back of your throat, relishing in the muffled little sounds you make. your drool mixed with his saliva drips down your chin, and your hazy eyes look up at him when he finally pulls away, giving you a second to breathe.

how his hips are slamming into you relentlessly, your wetness and lack of resistance allowing him to move almost effortlessly. forced to hold onto him for dear life instead of pushing away. all of your morals and principles are being tossed out of the window every single time he comes to you. he has you where he wants you, and will not stop until he feels like you can't take it anymore.

and how in the morning he vanishes away, leaving you guessing: was it just another wet dream? but the cold stickiness between your legs tells you more than you need to know.

#yes bringing this back bc at the time i didn't tag it properly #okay im gonna complain in here now. #need... to... draw... something... but i dont... have the strength.. #drawing on my phone is so exhausting but i have no other option #bc i think my traditional art is not very polishedddd and i dont want to answer asks with ittttt #but maybe i will #bc i think i'm really getting to that burnout #and giving how my bday is getting closer and closer.... #i dread it. but hey. cake. money. i'll get a new piercing #i WILL cry ofc but hey. maybe someone will buy me tea as a gift. who knows. #i just want to spend some time with someone yknow:( #just... talk. about anything. sit beside eachother and stare off into the waters #i hope the snow will melt soon because i want to go out more even if by myself #gonna find a job when summer comes... maybe talking to colleagues and all that will help... everythings gonna be fine.. i hope #i just need friends. god. #microtya's kids #monsterfucker #monster fucker #monster x human #monster boyfriend #monster lover #teratophillia #god x human #monster smut

[extra-somethin-somethin]

If nothing else Koenma is a Kuwabara stan and I'm right there with him o7 (I need to write the kuwameshi fic that goes with this fr)

#maybe one day i'll write that au i have sitting in my head #ever since the comment he made about making kuwa spirit detective instead ive been thinking about it #like...what if yusuke is still recruited same as canon but like #kuwa was already spirit detective? doing assignments for the guys upstairs and all #and they made yusuke help him after his resurrection instead of going solo #and it's hilarious because they still have the ''rivalry'' set in place so it's like #now i gotta be coworkers with this guy i was in a fist fight with last week? #yusuke is like you can't be serious you want me to fight DEMONS with the guy who cant even beat ME? lmaooo okay #kuwa would be more in tune with his powers atp in this au and super offended like hello #why would i use my reiki on a FELLOW HUMAN CHILD you DICK i can hold my own on my assignments just fine #but he's actually really excited to be able to spend time with yusuke doing something besides getting his ass handed to him #they're both genkai's students (she's endlessly annoyed but they grow on her) #i just think it'd be fun cos like #it'd be harder to exclude kazuma from shit if he's literally been involved in this shit before he even met #kurama and hiei #kuwabara isn't really told about yusuke's resurrection so things go mostly the same up til he's brought back #they're both called to koenma's office and it's the spiderman pointing meme 💀 #it's koenma's first time seeing kuwa in person as he usually just sends assignments with botan #yusuke has already seen him cos of the resurrection arc #and koenma is SUCH a fanboy ''kuwabara it's such a pleasure. you know you're my best worker 🥺'' #''um urameshi am i seeing things or is that a fuckin baby'' yusuke will NOT stop laughing #it fucks koenma up so bad he makes sure he's in his adult form when he's around kuwa next #cos he wants to be the respected boss but also guy that you can chill with!! he's so cringe #okay yeah i need to write this it's such a fun concept #kuwameshi #yu yu hakusho #kuwabara kazuma #yusuke urameshi #koenma

[ofmermaidstories]

there’s something so bittersweet and lovely about fanfic, at it’s core. it’s so impermeable, because it’s so individual. fics don’t get finished. fics get lost because they were typed out and sent to friends, in the 70s, and somewhere along the way someone packed it up in a cardboard box and their kids shuffled it to the attic. websites go down. archives get built, but then people lose faith in the story or the canon or the creator and delete them. you read it at like, 3am, and can’t remember the title months later when you look for it again.

the tiktok these comments are from was lamenting about the loss of a favourite fic—it (the tiktok) had 85k+ likes, and over 700 comments, mostly similar to these. people talking about downloading fics to read on a tablet only for them to disappear the next day. using the wayback machine and combing through results, just to find something they loved. i think it’s sweet because it’s so human—how easily we love something, and how easily we lose it. i used to print out my favourite fics, as a kid—i still have a binder of them, buried under yearbooks and the old journals i kept during those topsy turvy preteen years. i could tell you the overarching plot to a Cardcaptor Sakura fantasy AU i read (and loved; it became my personality for months afterwards) but i can’t remember how it ended, or if it even did. i finally broke down and signed up for an account on AO3 specifically to bookmark an old, old fic that i had read somewhere else, years and years and years ago and found again on AO3 only because i accidentally stumbled on the author here on tumblr (i had only found the fic in the first place all those years ago because of a playlist). i used the same shade of lipstick for years purely because a fic i really liked had the main character apply it (it was a limited edition one at the time; i bought my first one from a ebay seller in the UK at double the retail price, lmao) while the love interest watched them, but i can’t remember the name of it, only how it made me feel (and how, for years afterwards, i would wear that shade whenever i felt like the day had something promising to it).

one of the first anon’s i ever got, in the early days of this tumblr, was someone who asked me if it was okay if they downloaded surrender—and of course it was. of course it is. there was a point, during the final stretch when i was trying to write the last chapter, that i almost lost the entirety of what i had written for that fic—and i mean, it was on AO3 by that stage so it would’ve only set me back a chapter or so, but it goes to show how fragile things can be. how sometimes fics only last in tiny ways—because of the unfinished PDF file someone downloads. The patchy memory of someone’s who’s jumbling it and three other fics together. Because someone wore the same shade of lipstick you mentioned, off-hand, for years afterwards.

(this is a love letter to the silent readers; the silent savers. the lurkers. fandom and the internet at large is made of lurkers (eighty-five thousand likes. seven hundred comments). people who saved fics and waybacked them and will reread them, even uncompleted. telling each other we did a good job, that we liked this or we liked that is wonderful, and fun, and a great (and important) way to build a community and has also given me my current friends—but sometimes something you make will matter and live on in a way you will never, ever know. and it’s just how it is. it’s part of the fun and it’s part of the charm. it’s just how we work as people.)

#floating rubbish island: mermaid spam #shall i do a part two for the opposite end of the spectrum? the readers who tell you as they’re rereading? #the ones that come back to point out details that have stuck with them? #sometimes i worry i don’t give enough to those of us in the community who do that #today i got a comment on surrender and it made my whole day—which otherwise would’ve been spent being miserable trying to sweat out my fever #people are so sweet and i feel so empty-handed for them sometimes #because time is so valuable—people don’t *have* to comment #people don’t *have* to note the tiny details #i share these fics because i *want* to—that is a choice i make knowing that maybe people won’t like it or respond to it #no one asks me to spend the time i do on these fics and so no one owes me for it #which makes the time someone *does* spend commenting or tagging or saying hello even more precious