With credit towards @jhaernyl who shared some fantastic doctor/surgeon humor with me that ended up leading to.....
The ZoLaw AU No One Asked For...
Where Law is a surgeon on some small Northern Island.
Recently Transfered Nurse Sabo: Excuse me, sir, there is a man here? Roronoa Zoro. He's apparently suffered a small injury.
Law: *sighs* Let me guess, that loudmouthed robot made him come in.
Nurse Sabo: No, he-
Law: Robo-ya's wife then. At least one of them is sensible.
Sabo: He came alone, sir, said he was training and suddenly felt something was off balance. I couldn't -
Law: *Going completely still*
Law: *Turning and grabbing the poor new trainee by the shoulders* QUICK! Answer me this: did he finish his training?
Sabo: Err, no, he said he was worried and he came right in so-
Law: BEPO GRAB THE CRASH CART! WE HAVE A CODE GREEN!!!
Law rooming down the whole hospital.
Law: WE CANT LET HIM GET AWAY HE IS SERIOUSLY INJURED *Pointing dramatically as Shachi and Penguin nod to one another, both grab jing gurneys and blocking off the ER exit*
Zoro: *Raising an eyebrow, though also still suspiciously holding onto his arm* Honestly, Torao it was no big deal, I feel fine now.
Law: *sighs* Zoro-ya... *looking down at the floor.*
*....And there is just a trail of blood on the floor leading to Zoro who is holding into his arm which he has (roughly) bandaged on.*
Zoro: What?
Law: .... Zoro-ya, give me your arm. Now.
Zoro: Torao, I told you, its fine, I just needed some ba-
Law: Give. Me. Your. Arm.
Zoro: Tch *hands over his stupid traitor arm*
Trainee Nurse Rebecca: *passes out cold*
Law: Zoro-ya, what has Law said about cutting off your own limbs!?
Zoro: But you always fix it and it was easier than-
Law: That's not the point Zoro-ya! You can't just cut off limbs whenever it's easy!
Sabo: So are they always like this?
Older HCA Ikkaku, who is used to these idiots: *holds out popcorn bucket to share*
No words. Her show is on.
Sabo: But none of the TVs are-Ooooh
HCA Ikkaku: I said shhh!
Ikkaku: Roronoa just mentioned Doctor Trafalgar just being sour over Zoro's ankle stitches. That ALWAYS leads to drama.
2nd HCA aka Perona: *appearing from nowhere to grab a handful of popcorn* Doctor Trafalgar hates those scars. Everyone in the hospital - depth, probably the whole town - knows as much. Law doesn't exactly make it a secret.
Like catching someone up on a your favorite long running television show.
Only its live and one of the people is holding a detached bloody arm.
Ikkaku: *ignoring the wide eyes stare from young nurse* Ooh, Looks like Roronoa is going to let him attach it.
Perona: *giggling* Doctor Trafalgar is gonna give him such a hard time! Horohoro, I'll bet he wouldn't even call for the anesthesiologist!
Law: AND DON'T BOTHER GETTING CESEAR! WE'RE DOING THIS NOW!
Ikkaku: Yo, new guy, stop just standing around and get your pal there off the floor.
Perona: And hurry up, we doesn't want to miss when Roronoa finally smiles. Doctor Trafalgar goes bright red! It's SOOO cute! 💕
She's right, too, as anyone whose worked there long enough will attest. It's the best part of the whole show.
The trainee and new transfer are not sure about all this, but the employees who have worked there awhile seem to be.... enjoying it?
Law: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, IDIOT!? WHAT IF I WASN'T HERE TODAY!? AND DON'T JUST ACT LIKE IT WAS A MINOR PAIN!!!
Zoro: Hey! Last time, when Robin made me come (damn noisy witch) and I showed the lady what was wrong, she passed out and you got all-
Law: Because you can't just show our poor check in team a gaping chest wound, Zoro-ya!
Law: *eyebrow twitching* Still! You're supposed to mention when you've CUT OFF YOUR OWN ARM!
It doesn't seem fair for Torao is getting so upset with him, especially since this time Zoro came in without even being made to. Oh, and he knew it wouldn't be a problem! Torao is the best surgeon in the world, Zoro knew he'd be able to fix him.
Sure enough.....
Zoro: Oye, Torao! Look at that! It's good as new! *Bright, sharp smile* See, ai knew there was a reason we kept you around!
Law: *immediately frozen*
HCA Ikkaku: *nudges nurse* Wait for it...
Law: *frozen*
HCA Perona: *holding onto the trainee Nurse too tightly, eyes wide* Here it comes....
Law: *whole face turns bright pink, pulling his surgery mask up as if hiding* Whatever you idiot! Now, stop getting yourself hurt! I'm not sewing on any other limbs for another month at least, I swear!
Zoro: You are the best, Torao *smile getting even brighter*
Perona: 💕 Ahh, aren't they so cute? 💕
Rebecca: Are they?
Sabo: Or are they just scary?
Zoro: *still with that sharp smile as he twists his arm, practicing all his sword moves. Absolutely glowing with pride* Not even a scar, doc. You really are the best.
Law: Of course I didn't leave a scar! I'm not some useless sack of flesh like that Hogsback asshole. I would never leave you with an unwanted mark.
Zoro: *still studying his arm, smile becoming softer, warmer* You know... I wouldn't mind a little mark. So long as it was from you.
And Law's mask gets pulled up so high he's practically got his eyes covered.
(It's both.)
(They're both adorable and scary.)
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been seeing lots of Chuck-As-Demiurge/"Flawed God" spn meta and it made me realize that my understanding of Chuck is???? not common????
so my hc/understanding was the Chuck Shurley was/is a human prophet who was possessed by God. First in the usual prophetic sense, then later as a "word of God" type prophet, like MAJOR biblical-level power, in order to pass God's direct thoughts/opinions on to Sam and Dean- and then lastly, God took Chuck as a full-time vessel.
so re: this, I kind of wondered if in the finale, the guy Sam and Dean left scrabbling on the ground was... just human Chuck. is it less meaningful? eh, kinda. does it make the finale make more sense? ...yup.
But most importantly. Picture this. You're a writer, creating OCs that you whump/angst/generally torture the CRAP out of, somehow this becomes an incredibly popular book series, you're touring, you're making BANK. Then later, you MEET YOUR OCS, they are REAL, and apparently so is magic, and the "prophet of God" thing that you thought was a writing/inspo device you'd made up is real, and God is talking to you. so uh, what the fuck. then everything goes black
and when you fade back in, its YEARS later, you're beat up and lying in the dirt, and yoUR OCS ARE STANDING OVER YOU, YELLING AT YOU FOR MAKING THEIR LIVES MISERABLE
THE GUYS *YOU THOUGHT WERE YOUR WHUMP OCS*
TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE MORTAL AND WILL INEVITABLY AGE AND DIE LIKE EVERY OTHER HUMAN
AND THEN DRIVE AWAY IN THE CAR THAT *YOU HAD THOUGHT YOU MADE UP*
all before you can get out so much as a coherent "what the fuck is going on"
like I'm sorry. conceptually that's hilarious
the whump OC you made when you were 25: "YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A NORMAL BORING LIFE AND AGE AND GET OLD AND DIE! FUCK YOU GOODBYE FOREVER"
you:
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