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#who’s never had a lover before just speaking out his ass and then randomly blows up one day
1kook · 3 years
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jk the advice columnist au
#PINNING THIS IN CASE I LOSE IT#who’s never had a lover before just speaking out his ass and then randomly blows up one day#starts getting a SHIT TON of letters from all over the country#and his bestie oc who has terrible luck with dating and gets used#and jk who thinks she’s worth so much more the entire galaxy and more but he’s so shy he doesn’t know how to tell her#but her dumb ass starts taking advice from the very advice column he writes even tho u don’t know it’s him#and jk watches u pursue someone else using all the things he wishes he could’ve done for u#and it’s WORKING and he’s scared but he wants you to be happy#as much as he wants to be by your side#and then one day one very terrible day he gets it. a letter from you addressed to his advice column persona asking for advice on how to ask#someone out and his heart breaks bc even tho you’re vague in the letter#he’s you’re best friend he’s been hearing it all for weeks#and he’s tempted to trash it and pretend like he never received it#but he wants you to be happy especially after all you’ve been through and if you’re desperate enough to ask someone else for advice#(​someone who’s not him—your best friend jk—who has seen you at your worst and loved you through it all)#then obviously this person you’re pursing is one hell of a person#so he has to push his love aside to write you an honest and deserving piece of advice#and he feels like he’s writing from the heart— the heart of someone who didn’t act quickly of someone who missed their chance#and he doesn’t want that to happen to you so he gives you the advice he wishes someone gave him#and then a few days later he sees you with your new lover smiling to the moon and back#and he has to smile for your sake and his bc this is what he wanted isn’t it; for you to be happy#💡
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twistedsimblr · 6 years
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Another story!
 Here it is under the cut.... Inspired yet again by @omg-puddingpie They just keep coming these damn ideas XD Once again I know my grammar I’M TRYING!
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"It's okay, it's okay your safe now he's not going to bother you anymore I promise you that ." Adam hushed the whimpers of his battered love. But their moment would be short lived. But long enough that he calmed him enough that his sobbing subsided a bit.
 " Adam! come quick! " Adam looked up from his embrace with Armand to see Amber standing in front of them barely able to catch her breath. "Amber?" Armand turned to look as well. "Oh my god what happened?" 
It was Thompshit wasn't it? Adam gave Amber a nod, being careful not to upset Armand again. Amber put her hand on Armand's shoulder.
“ I took care of it though. He said with a gentle peck to he top of his head head. "
“ Where's your friend Meg...?" That's the thing...She sighed...her eyes were rather wide  like she’d sort of seen a ghost. 
 "IT'S MAL." At least I think it's Mal it's hard to say I've NEVER seen him like.... this before...He's practically swinging Chester around by the horns."
 "WHAT?!" Adam felt sick. " Goddammit M.K... “Now you've taken things too far.” 
 Adam ran on ahead as Amber took  Armand by the hand Amber Adam and Armand ran to toward the back It was lunch hour and it had barely started and already so much shit had gone down,
 Now Adam had to deal with his half brother . M.K and Adam had been friends for some time and even shared a brief bro mance before Vlad opened a can of one hell of a twist . And told M.K that he was his son Which was the reason why M.K pushed Adam away and toward the one he was truly destined to be with.. Malikor his friend was the result of a an alien succubus seduction. His father never talked about until now. 
... When they turned the corner of the building already where they greeted with a fairly large crowd egging both involved on. Pushing through the crowd as they got closer. Adam could see that M.K was fiddling with something flipping it about in his hand. 
 He brought his butterfly knife.... Great... personally I like his switch blade better but whatever... 
“ Pussy you can’t even use your fists?” Chester scoffed spitting to the side 
“I suppose kicking your sorry ass that way would be more fun..”  M.K said with a shrug. 
M.K closed his knife and threw it in Meg's direction which she caught.
“Hold this.”
 Meg couldn't help but stare.. He looked so unfamiliar right now. But she was also fascinated by his power. 
His eyes were red and he was seeing red. He almost looked totally demonic. 
 “Show me what you've got big cat.” Chester taunted. .. Unless you still wanna wait til after school..” I mean you still have all day to think about this..
“ What’s the matter  You pussy? Are you just realizing that fucking hitting a chick is wrong  M.K growled confidently
“She’s fat she can take a hit or two... That girls got a fucking mouth you don’t know man.. Speaking of hits. ”
“Ladies first..” M.K  smirked. 
There was silence... Chester threw the first punch and landed one on the side of the face. M.K regained his composure as if he were judging what just happened. 
“I’ve been slapped harder by girls.”  Go a head throw another one. 
 M.K  threw a punch that landed him square in the face and nose amd got him in a head lock and threw him onto the ground  a few feet infront of Meg   Megs direction. And with a grunt said . 
“I love me a good thick chick, they suck the best dick...”  But that over there is everything a woman should be soft and cuddly.. I know more about her than  you know...right down to her favorite candy. Sour Watermelons. “
M.Ks grip around his neck tightened even more so as he continued. 
  “I wanted that!  I wanted her!”
“I dunno why you would..” Chester coughed. 
“Shut the fuck up... “M.K interrupted.
 You took her from me. I was happy for her you made her happy she talked about you sat with you in our fucking study group I hated that!
“ I barely knew her but I wanted her.. And you treated her like trash and you fucking cheated on her ...”
.. .  Meg’s face flushed beet red as everyone looked over in her direction. She turned her music up louder. There were giggles amongst the crowd. Meg allowed the hair to hang in her face...
“With my fucking ex.”
“I’ve  been following you two for a month. Because I wanted to prove to everyone what a piece of fucking shit you are. Especially to Meg. I remember that fucking hand print around her neck.”
Chester glared at M.K as he pulled him out of the head lock and into a choke hold. His nose was oozing green blood  He grinned. 
“Your ex was way hotter.”  M.K curled his lip back ignoring the cheers amongst the crowd as the fight continued. M.K managed to score a few more hits before M.K got too cocky and Chester managed to get a kick in hitting M.K square in the stomach. Managing to get the upper hand for a brief period of time. Thinking he had won. M.K sat on the ground. feeling rather defeated he begun to shake.
 Now he’d done it...  He took a moment to breathe but it was no use it was coming and there was no stopping it. We all have inner demons right? just...
Not actually demons. 
Chester tried hyping up the crowd even more. As he stood thinking he was victorious.
  Seeming out of no where M.K lept at him Pinning him to the ground Letting out a screech that sounded anything but human. Some people even plugged thier ears. Meg was so content with her music she made a face as if she were curious when this would end. 
It was time Adam knew he had to act. 
“My ex had fucking Chlamydia.”
 M.K took his clawed thumbs and pressed them into the corners of Chester’s eyes. He had the most crazed look on his face as he pressed harder Chester screamed in agony finally a voice put an end to it all. The crowd was going wild. And it all came to an abrupt end.
When a dark cloud seemed to have overwhelmed the area getting everyones attention. 
“ STOP..”  M.K knew that voice.. and immediately he halted his actions.
“M.K you don’t wanna do this...” Adam himself had gone into his dark form not something he wanted to do but if he had to fight his brother which is something he didn't want to do he would. 
“FUCK YOU ADAM! ” Maybe if you weren't so busy fantasizing about having your dick up Armand's ass you’d see what  else is going on!!”
All eyes were on Adam... including Armand who was practically his boyfriend at this point anyway.It was his turn to offer comfort. But Adam didn't want it.
“That was a cheap shot bro and you know it!” 
“ You didn't believe me!”  But there’s your proof!  M.K whipped his arm around to point  in Megs  direction. “It’s okay for you to fuck up Armands  bully but I can’t fucking beat your so called dipshit friend to bloody pulp? 
“Look what he did to her!”
Meg  seeming to observe  the problem removed her head phones obviously drowning it out with music got her no where.
“It’s not that bad..” She uttered 
“NOT THAT BAD?”  He’s conditioned her to tolerate it.
M.K grabbed Chester again preparing himself for the blow that could very well kill him a bite tot the throat. 
Adam spoke calmly despite being stung by his words . I see that... Now... I was wrong   “Don’t do it M.K!”
Things started to get a little physical. Adam tried to pull M.K away. “He’s not worth it!
 “ BACK OFF ME MAN!” “Don’t touch me asshole..” M.Ks eyes flashed dangerously as he pushed Adam off. 
Adam had to act. He wasn't himself and he had to bring back the Mal he knew and loved Mal may be physically stronger but when it came to abilities he was not as strong as his half brother using his abilities he restrained him. Forcing him onto his knees   What are you doing?” Armand asked. Shyly. 
My brother doesn't know how to control his abilities yet he needs help.  So he’s not.. Armand began 
“No...he’s my half brother not my lover... I actually would like to get to know you better.” The sentiment was broken by Ambers voice. 
“Get the hell out of here Chester! “
Amber shouted.  
Chester rose to his feet and fled nearly blindly  and into the crowd. 
Meg pushed her self toward the action. And pressed her cd player furiously until she hit the song that she knew would best fit the situation.
 She had to do something Or both were going to do something they regret...She begun humming first something that bewildered everybody that was still sticking around.
Then she randomly started singing...Not that she thought it would do anything but maybe. JUST MAYBE it would? To everyones surprise
Almost immediately did it have a calming effect on M.K and everyone around her...
“Oh my baby how beautiful you are Oh my darling completely torn apart..” “You´re gone with the sin my baby and beautiful you are..” “So gone with the sin my darling..”
MUSIC
It  took a moment... Meg sat on the ground in front of him and continued to sing until finally the moment Adam had been waiting for...
“Meg?” ...M.Ks voice shook as he  looked up to see Meg first.
“ Welcome back big guy.”  He then looked up to see  Adam Amber and Armand.. standing behind Meg who was kneeling still..
Adam helped M.K to his feet. And wrapped his arms around him tightly.. With out hesitation . I will NEVER  mis judge you again..” Ive been so selfish. and I’m sorry.”
M.K returned the gesture. “You’re the last person I ever want to fight with...I will tell you that.”..
The bell finally rang  it seemed like it took forever and they all made their way inside.. They weren't in their seats for long in different classes when the principals voice crackled over the PA system. Calling Adam ,Chester, M.K, Meg, The guy who beat up Armand to the office. 
Oohs and Ahhs echoed throughout each of their respectable class rooms. 
The teacher babbled trying to restore order as the students begun to talk as they all left their classrooms...
Adam and Armand made their way from thier class which was down stairs and M.K made his way from his... But... He was grabbed and pulled into the girls washroom... 
“Meg?”..... His jaw nearly dropped shed worn make up before but this .. She had to have been in here for the last 20 minutes or so. 
It was obvious  her heart was racing. She was licking her lips + as she spoke “I want to uh...  thank you for what you did...”She cleared her throat. 
“Can it wait? I mean this isn't the time or place.. “ Meg  reached up her hand to hush him he was being too loud. 
  Meg stood a little closer to M.K her hand now teasing the crotch of his  pants... 
“No..” 
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samiii-p · 6 years
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45 : 100 words 100 days
The moment she cuts through the crowd, Alexa squeals (screw the middle age man’s eardrums standing beside her) and dashes, ducks, dodges any and all travelers standing in her way; apologizing only once, to a mother pushing a stroller she hurdles over for Katie.
Katie, her best friend. Katie, her girlfriend.
And gosh, she still can't believe her luck. Years spent pining - months planning - trying and failing to tell one special girl she was everything, and how she is one hundred percent over the moon in love with her had somehow, some way worked out. Now, 3 ½ months later here they are on the eve of Thanksgiving running towards each other like one (or both) are returning from war.
“KaaaatIIIIIEEE!”
Alexa is aware she’s progressively growing louder, practically screaming and the entire airport can probably hear her outside but none of them matter because, finally, they're face to face, within arms reach and Alexa doesn't know what forces her to leap but she does and ends up hoisted in Katie's arms, kissing her for all of Charleston International to see.
The one and only kiss they've shared until now was held in the privacy of her bedroom on the day Katie was set to leave for Berkeley, but spectators be damned. It's been three months of phone calls and skype sessions between classes, clubs and new friends so if people felt the need to watch rather than carry on with their business, well, she hoped they took a photo for memento's sake.  
Only when they break apart, foreheads pressed together with Alexa’s arms pulling them closer as Katie holds her up by the back of her thighs, do they speak:
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
And really, had it been anyone else, Alexa would've had to fight the nuclear urge to keep her lunch down, but this was Katie. Katie deserved every single rom-com movie magic moment to ever exist.
Once she’s on solid ground, Alexa helps Katie collect her bags, thrown aside in the culmination of her Dirty Dancing/Notebook dash, and shoulders the book bag on her right so she can lace her free hand with Katie's.
“I've been thinking about that since my mom bought my ticket home.” Katie shyly confesses, pink cheeks and tiny smile included.
Jeez how in the world did Alexa survive three whole months without her?
“Me too.”
Getting out of the airport and safely into traffic is easy enough, they ride with the windows down allowing the warm Carolina air to blow their hair in the wind as Janelle Monáe sings softly in the background.
Normally silence - even of the content variety - was nonexistent. But if and when a rare occasion arose and butted its ugly head into their day, one (or both) covered it, talking randomly until a topic stuck.
And Alexa was pretty sure on some plane of reality far-far away from their own, maybe - possibly their doppelgangers spent time together in comfortable silence … because no one could talk every single second of every day. Listening to the radio on the ride home was fine, normal, no biggie. Stop panicking! Yet: how does one talk to their newly acquired girlfriend in person?
Lucas makes it look easy (and maybe if she truly grows desperate, she'll ask him how) but talking to people she’s interested in came as a no-brainer; except she's never been into anyone the way she’s into Katie. She's a different, prettier monster all on her own.
“So …” she says, gripping the steering wheel until her knuckles whiten, letting the prompt hang in the air as she checks her side mirror for traffic, puts on her signal and switches lanes.
“... um.”
“Yeah.”
Alexa grits her teeth, exiting the highway.
“Good talk.”
Not even an hour ago they were putting on a show for the airport to see and now, words don't compute. Was it all adrenaline? Three months was the longest time they spent apart, and coming off the back of a love confession, they were bound to recreate the moment (no matter the public) to see if the energy was the same - and now that all the budding anticipation was over, it was over.
At least, Alexa hoped it was just an awkward aftermath and not a "we’re better as friends,  turns out we don't mesh in that well" possible future conversation. God, please don't let it be that.
Parking, Alexa turns the key and shuts the car off but hesitates to unfasten her seatbelts or get out. She doesn't know what to do next but she knows it's not that. Everyone's inside is waiting for Katie's arrival (like they did for her the day before). Once they go inside, any chance of getting Katie alone for the weekend will vanish. Jack already has a list of things he wants to show her since her absence (including a nasty scar he earned from skateboarding). If Jennifer is anything like Lori, she's not going to let Katie out of her sight for a second. Alexa had to practically duck-dodge and take cover to pick Katie up on time - heck, even Katie's dad was pacing around the Mendoza’s living room waiting for his little girl. So whatever this recent buildup is had to disperse before they stepped foot inside.
“What're you doing?” Katie spins around as Alexa starts backing the car down the driveway and away from the prying eyes spying on them from behind the window curtains.
“Dont worry.” She’s sure she’s said at least a thousand times within her lifetime. It being the prolog to many adventures, mistakes and nights grounded. And every single time, Katie comes, without much question, unless she absolutely needed to voice her concern and even then, she went - following Alexa into dark battles just so she could be her guiding light out. “We’ll be right back. I just want ...”
Time with you before the chaos of being home for the holiday unleashes. I want to share a kiss with you away from everyone. I want the familiarity our friendship woven into the newness of our relationship because I love you so much and forty minutes of silence has me over analyzing what it could mean.
“... a chance with you by myself.”
To Alexa’s utter relief, Katie smiles, and tucks her chin in a small nod and a Mt. Everest of butterflies unleashes in Alexa's lower abdomen, flapping their huge ass wings all the way to beach a few miles from their neighborhood.
The car goes into park, seat belt comes off and Alexa turns in her seat, folding her leg under the other, and nervously pulls a stray curl behind her ear and inhales, inhales, inHALES holding it because exhaling will mean talking.
Katie doesn't look like she's fairing better, twisting the tip of ponytail around her index finger until it's a tight blonde knot.
“A-"
“Are you breaking up with me?!”
Whaaaaat??????
“Because, I mean, we seemed to be on the same page at the airport but maybe we weren't. Was I too overeager, should I've waited - I just couldn't help myself and I know that's no excuse but I can do better. I will do better. Pleeeease don't break up with me!”
Instantly, the 5,000 pound rhino has been lifted off her chest and Alexa can breathe. Finally.
“I'm not breaking up with you,” she assures. “I was just … nervous.” which, out loud, sounds odd - they've never been nervous around each other before but then again, they're under new light - no longer just friends but girlfriends. Lovers, if you will. And maybe, naivete let them think they could remain in that headspace but now, Alexa understands. Their relationship is forever changed, still best friends but with an asterisk attached, redefining Alexa and Katie.
“Oh.” Katie bites her lips, the light pressure reddening her bottom lip (simultaneously capturing Alexa’s attention) “I was - I’m nervous too. I mean.”
Locking her fingers together, Katie takes a deep breath and turns in her seat, and Alexa can see the growing list of words traveling from brain to tongue and readies herself.
“And I'm kinda … scared.”
“Right!”
“But a good scared.”
“Totally.”
“Scared like, I went to press my face against your face, who cares who's watching and spend these four days home alone in our tree house talking about things we’ve never talked about before … you being my girlfriend type stuff,” Alexa grins, she really likes the sound of that, “but it also, kinda feels like I've been pushed out a plane without a parachute and I'm falling, and my stomach is in my throat and you're there, within fingertips but I'm afraid to reach because I don't want to throw us off balance, and miss you completely.” Finished, a shaky exhale releases, sagging her shoulders. “Make any sense?”
Alexa smiles, falling back against the driver door because oh man, Katie literally turned her anxiety into words. If this isn't a sign they are soulmates, well then, God is a cold cruel mistress.
Scooting closer to Katie, she shakes her head in wonder - wonder at how she found the girl of her dreams right outside her bedroom window, how she could be this lucky so young and early on in life and she finally understands all those times her mother told her “when you know you know” because Katie Cooper is it. She's her know.
She leans in, resting her forehead to Katie's, smiles so hard the apples of her cheeks hurt and says, “for the record, I’ll always catch you.”
Their third official kiss is the longest yet, just as soft and enticing as the previous two but when Katie tilts her head to the side and tugs at her upper lip, Alexa’s eyes roll to the back of her head and a noise she didn't know possible escapes the burrows of her throat, encouraging her girlfriend to go further.
When they return, Alexa has to give credit to her family for pretending not to notice anything out of the ordinary but of course it's Jack who takes it upon himself to point out over the dinner table;
“Hey Alexa, is that lip gloss on your neck?”
- (1000+)
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