#why am I so upset over this I don't know | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

camellcat · 2 months

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WTFFF I thought thirteen would be my new girl crush love of my life heart eyes wife you-came-after-twelve-you-must-be-better-than-they're-all-saying bbygirl and then I had to sit down and watch as she told a man who (if he were not a murderer, of course) literally every regeneration before her would've LOVED and FULLY SUPPORTED that "the systems aren't the problem. how people use and exploit the system, that's the problem. people like you" </33333 !?!?

#WHERE IS THAT POST THAT SAID NINE WOULD KILL THIRTEEN FOR BEING A CLASS TRAITOR #WHY WOULD YOU SAY “ERODE PEOPLE'S TRUST IN AUTOMATION” ALL WORRIED AND CONCERNED LIKE THAT???#WHEN DID YOU START LIKING AUTOMATION OVER PEOPLE THINKING AND DOING THINGS FOR THEMSELVES???#AND WHY ARE YOU TRAVELING WITH A COPPER??? WE HATE COPPERS??????#did we FORGET into the dalek?? how about how he treated danny?? god there's so much more I can't even remember off the top of my head #(I understand soldiers are different from cops but c'mon don't even PRETEND twelve would've been any nicer if blue or danny were just COPS)#also a bit off topic bUT MAY I JUST TALK ABOUT ARACHNIDS IN THE UK FOR HALF A GODAMNED SECOND—#I know the companions are usually the ones to do the doctor's dirty work here but like #I just can't see the other doctors NOT having the business man lure the spider for being so fuckin annoying about it #like I was genuinely surprised when they had him do that whole song and dance about not doing it and then he actually just. didn't do it #the doctor LOVES fucking with evil rich business men this is PERFECT. plus why not get back at him for being awful to their companions?#absolutely gobsmacked thirteen let him act like that. I am wrong in thinking that the others would've shut his shit down a LOT quicker??#anyways. I love jodie whittaker and it's just so upsetting to have her doctor do something so wildly off #THIRTEEN PLEASE I HAD SUCH FAITH IN YOUUU I WAS IGNORING THE HATERS AND FOR WHAT #I can SEE the other doctors in her still I can FEEL them they're there she's doing an AMAZING job but. oh my god. what did they make her do #I can't even say she feels ooc as a whole because jodie is bloody brilliant. it's just these... moments. that don't make ANY sense to me...#especially coming off of twelve?? I get the radical personality switch but that belief is a core part of the doctor. or at least I THOUGHT #thirteenth doctor #doctor who #I still love all of you who love her and reading ur posts/fics but I. will not be making any myself. I do not think.

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bruhstation · 6 months

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checking out theodore tugboat right now and all I can say is that foduck would really benefit from reading the dsm v

#zin.txt #my beautiful princess with various personality disorders. please talk to me.#I don't think I'm joking like atp he's DEFINITELY an undiagnosed autism and ocd haver. maybe bpd too.... many such cases #which is why he's always like ''I don't know why I feel like this''or ''I'm so sorry I don't know why I did that''#him get upset over his coworkers stopping in the middle of work #going back and forth between valuing himself and feeling incredibly lesser than his peers because he is told to guard the docks #and cannot go out to the ocean #thus making his V title ''not worth anything'' according to him #''Im so important and nobody will get their job done without me''#[5 minutes later]#''I am not a part of the team because I cannot go out to the ocean and my Vigilant title has no meaning''#also the way he views his friends always changes like #one minute he's doting on them and cheering them on #next minute he's angry and agitated and dislikes them #next minute he's alll sorry and worried and anxious. curious indeed #living rent free inside my head and his neighbors are gordon and boomer

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secretsimpleness · 8 months

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I've got problems with whomever designed Thane's fingers. Thane, Shepard / Mass Effect 2 (c) Bioware

Anyone remember that poll I posted in July? I shall share the results:

I did manage to produce two comics during my summer holiday but both were for Dragon Age, haha ha.... So there were delays for our second winner. But here it is! Thanks to those who voted :)

#thane krios #commander shepard #mass effect #mass effect fanart #comic #bioware #thane #shepard #custom shepard #dough scraper #never do I crave a dough scraper as much as when I look at thane's fingers. do people know about dough scrapers? whatever.#why do the fingers have to stick together? just give him one less finger if it's so damn important.#regarding the poll: sucks for everyone not voting for pathfinder as that game probably has the biggest backlog rn.#I don't know why I find that so funny. it just makes me giggle thinking about it.#anyway so I have been sick. I actually thought I would escape my summer sickness this year but alas. it arrived.#and at the worst possible time. every year my town holds this large and free culture festival and I was really looking forward to it -#but then the fever rolled in. I am still so upset. I'm crying over the spilled milk here. betrayal of the year.#it's fine. there will be more chances etc.

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arsenwolves · 1 month

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I am so attracted to this man, lord have mercy

#i'm always upset when people don't like him bc he took over ramsdales spot and then k remember i only became a fan after raya came in so #that's very likely why i feel that way #i love him sm i am his #1 #fan #i adore him with all my heart and soul #he is my husband #the love of my life #my soulmate #i have some weird emotional connection with goalkeepers and i don't know why #david raya #arsenal fc

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marypsue · 9 months

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I'd love to hear your thoughts on S1 of ST being a tragedy! No main character dies, so I never thought of it that way before

I mean, nobody has to die for a story to be a tragedy (at least, in the modern definition. I'm pretty sure '(almost) everybody dies' is a requirement of Greek tragedies and Renaissance revenge tragedies). But also, no main character dies in season one...if you take season one as part of a series. Which it wasn't originally conceived as.

I am not going looking for copies of the original pitch bible, because I am lazy, and also I only saw them floating around this webbed site. But the show changed a lot from the initial pitch (Joyce had a Long Island accent! Lucas' parents were divorcing! Murray was there and named Terry Ives! Most of what ended up in Hopper's character originally belonged to Mr. Clarke! The original pitch bible is fascinating). And part of the original pitch was a proposal for possible sequels.

The Duffers' proposal for a possible sequel was "It's ten years later, and Eleven is dead".

So that's the setup. Everything that came after season one was made up wholecloth after season one was a hit and people wanted more, but also people loved the adorable little psychic murder child (cue the Duffers shockedpikachu.jpg) and Netflix obviously recognised it would be a bad call to make a new season without her in it. So it makes sense to take season one as a unit, as a self-contained story on its own. You can also take it as part of a whole, but it makes sense to read it first as a complete story. Especially given the thematic drift of later seasons and the way they are...I'm just going to say it, each new season is very much added-on to what came before rather than being built on foundation that the earlier season(s) laid. It is very clear there was never a planned five-season story arc from the beginning. (This isn't necessarily always a bad thing, when it comes to sequels, but it does mean it makes sense to 'read' each season as its own thing.)

Okay, now that we've established all of that. Season one has one very clear goal, one very clear stake for the characters: save Will Byers from the Upside Down. (I like this. It makes the stakes both extremely high and extremely personal, it makes it very easy to understand each character's motivation, it also keeps the stakes grounded in reality. I like this a lot.) And by the end of the season, that goal is accomplished. So at first blush, you're right, season one doesn't look like a tragedy.

But when you start to unpack it a little, you start to see just how many important things were lost along the way. It's most glaringly obvious with Mike and El, with Nancy and Barb. The whole Wheeler family is fractured down the middle, with Mike and Nancy on one side and Ted, Karen, and Holly on the other, and Karen, who's been trying so hard the whole time to be part of her children's lives and understand what's going on with them, is aware of the ever-expanding gulf between them but will never be able to cross it, and will never fully know why. Hopper's finally managed to snatch a kid out of the jaws of death, save a woman he obviously cares about from the pain of losing a child, and Joyce has finally had someone believe her, support her, trust her. But it became blindingly obvious to me on my fourth rewatch that Hopper's plan, from the moment he went to leave the middle school gym, was always to trade El for Will. And that decision (and the fact that Joyce obviously understands that he did something to get the lab to let them go after Will, but she obviously doesn't dare press him on what) has broken her trust in him, and left him with what looks like an equally heavy burden of guilt as what he was carrying before. The lab stays open. The government gets away with everything. No one will ever know the true extent of the hurt they've caused.

And in the end, none of it even saved Will. He's back. He's alive. But he's spitting slugs in the sink. He's permanently marked by the Upside Down, and by trying to hide it from his family, he's putting a crack down the centre of them, as well. They're losing Will, just as surely as they had when they thought he was dead, just without him going anywhere.

And there's still a hole in the world.

The fragile bonds of community, the things that people share in common, the way catastrophe can bring people together and bring out the very best in them, are the major thematic threads woven through season one. Human connection is the only thing that can change what seems inevitable, the only thing that can bring back what's seemingly lost forever.

And it's still not enough to protect anyone from the random tragedy of the world.

The love was there. The love mattered. The love bent the entire course of the world around itself.

And it still wasn't quite enough.

If that's not a tragedy, then I don't know what is.

#stranger things #the pitch bible is also part of why I think they're gonna kill el for real at the end of s5 #and that the final epilogue scene of s5 is going to be a callback to the eggos-in-the-woods scene #a) the show's ending so they don't HAVE to let her survive. and we all know the duffers love it when other people are upset #b) they've said themselves they're 'going back to season one'#c) netflix would absolutely cream their pants for an opportunity to update the nostalgia marketing for this show to the now-trendy nineties #d) and also would want to leave the door open for 'well MAYBE she survived you don't know that we're not going to resurrect this franchise!#one of many many many reasons why I'm not bothering to watch any more of this show #I'll stick happily with my s1-s2 duology and steal characters from other seasons thanks #it's so frustrating because it's so CLEAR in season one that the love MATTERS #that these people care about each other and that MATTERS #even though it's not enough.#and by season four it's just like. well what if we just kept introducing new characters so we can kill them. aren't you sad about it #like there are so many ways to write a tragedy well and 'kill everyone kind of indiscriminately' is not one of them #okay rant over. i am climbing off the cafeteria table

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archduke-enver-gortash · 4 months

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posting on here is like my sisyphean boulder i'm constantly rolling tbh

#god i am trying so hard to just have fun and be myself #but when i do that i'm immediately a strange outsider creep #and since i can't really mask my version of masking is just not talking and then obviously you don’t find any joy in fandom spaces either #i will always be a shitty unlikable freak no matter how much i pretend otherwise. it was obvious from the start that getting involved in #fandom spaces was a fucking mistake. it's always a mistake because you're some laughing stock at best and a horrifying freak at worst #i don't blame people for not liking me i've realised what an awful person i am long ago #but it's always so hard witnessing something like fun social groups from the sidelines knowing you'll never be a part of it #this is why my mental state has been deteriorating so severely in the last few months. that Realisation once again nothing fucking changed #i know it's stupid to get so upset over fandom but it's only a pattern for me #i stopped trying to be friends with people when i was a teenager because it hasn't worked a single time #this attempt at integrating myself into the wotr and bg3 fandom by sharing my shit was just one mistake #gortash/zeke is so different from anybody else’s work and i wish i could find joy in something that it isn’t fucking deranged but i can’t #like yes it’s just fandom bullshit! gortash/zeke is a fucking oc x canon ship! why am i getting so upset over it!#i love writing them. i’ve never been this happy writing anything. and it’s entirely indicative of a common pattern in my life #when i earnestly share parts of myself/things i’m passionate about people get creeped out. and honestly? rightfully so #i would leave the discord servers i’m in because it’s fucking crushing me dude. this is so petty but i’m so jealous of what you people have #but in one i am server owner and i don’t want to just dump that responsibility onto someone else and then dip #and in the other two i’m not sure anyone would even notice that i’m gone but i still worry about being rude #though i’m not entirely sure i didn’t get invited to one of those just so people could laugh at me. idk probably just being paranoid but i #it’s been gnawing at me #ok no if i’m being this vulnerable on tunglr.com i can also say that part of me staying is also still having the hope that i could fit in #one day. logically i know it won’t happen but it’s nice to have hope sometimes #watching you all from through the window having fun like a creep #so yeah. i’ve always felt like this but it’s been rapidly getting worse with my failed attempt at the bg3 fandom #idk just been crying non-stop for the last few hours. went through an entire pack of tissues in an hour it’s very disgusting #they’re all lying around me as i’m typing this like a pillowfort of snot lmao #so yeah. idk. if someone could come over and lobotomise me that’d be nice. orin where are you when we need you most #i never had any friends irl so i foolishly gave this a shot. i’m sorry #also doesn’t help that i can see someone dropping me for people that are easier to be around in irl rn #it just hurts because it’s always like that. someone you are around when you have no other option at best. not even that sometimes

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enok1 · 1 month

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Being in that weird middleground of homeschooled and unschooled is very... Strange..!

#Like. I DID go to school! Until I was 9! And then I didn't anymore.#I don't know math but I am literate. Science eludes me and I don't understand basic functions. But I. Am literate!#Going back to learn things as an adult is so frustrating and embarrassing because these topics are only every framed for children #Understandably! I don't have a problem with that itself. However it makes it more obvious how far behind you are on everything #And it's exhausting. The progress is slow. I can't spend a school day's worth of time studying because I have responsibilities.#My mother made it clear that it is my job alone to learn these things. When my brother expressed his rage over it she said the same to him.#'If you're so upset by it why haven't you learned it yourself?' Something along those lines. It hurts a lot #Where do you start. I have over 10 years to catch up on. I know he was confused and overwhelmed as well.#Whether or not it is our responsibility to learn now.. It doesn't change that she should have taught us then.#But I can't talk about it. Or I will get yelled at or guilt tripped... 🙏

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no-one-hears-me · 9 months

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I've spent too much time on the verge of suicide to be here today

#suicide tw #that's genuinely embarrassing #why haven't I done it yet. what am I staying here for #the truth is that I am a hopeful person deep inside and I want a decent future #I don't want to die in misery without ever knowing anything different #but the realistic part of me knows that I will never live a peaceful life #my hope is built on the fact that much of my misery stems from my environment and therefore I think that leaving will make me happy #and there is so much truth to that. I would be happier in different circumstances #but that doesn't change the lifetime of abuse and social isolation that has fundamentally damaged me as a person #I will carry the past with me wherever I go and it's impossible for me to escape #I will never be someone that was equipped to function in society and that is no fault of mine but I alone carry the burden #which really upsets me. why is my life ruined over someone else's choices? it's so easy to destroy someone #and so I know I will never truly change #I've had an ed for over 5 years I've been casually suicidal for like 10 years. also this happened during important formative years #I'm never gonna be mentally healthy. why do I keep holding on to the future #I wanna do something drastic #I wanna cut people out of my life. like past friends that are somewhat current #I'm easy to take advantage of bc I'm so lonely and desperate for a friend #and I wanna stop talking to the people that don't value me bc I know they don't care and it makes me sad all the time #but the problem is that I am desperate for a friend. and I don't wanna lose anyone even if they are shitty #unfortunately I still love them even if they don't care about me #that's so pathetic tbh but I can't help it. I love everyone #Sera

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seventh-district · 4 months

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wow!!! nothing better than watching your AO3 subscribers stat go down every time you post a new chapter of your current fic!!!

#/sarcastic btw. i am. Not happy about this recent development #Seven.txt #writing stuff #ao3 #like. don't get me wrong i do understand why and i can't fault anyone and i'm not like.. Mad. but it does hurt a lil #but alas. tis the nature of creating and posting things. not everything's gonna be received well and that's fine #it does suck to see a fic i put so much time and effort and love and part of myself into flopping so hard #not because i wrote it for anyone's sake other than my own #but i'd be lying if i said i didn't want people to enjoy the things i create. that's like. a normal and common desire #and i think i maybe killed it before it could get going with how i tagged it and the bigass disclaimer at the beginning #i think those turn a lot of ppl off that might otherwise read and maybe even find that they enjoy it??#but i would rather over-warn ppl for the triggering and non-canon aspects than under-warn them and potentially trigger or upset someone #and i can't blame ppl that subscribed for some Other thing when they open their email and see a notif that i posted smthn #and it's a mile of upsetting/negative sounding tags for a fic abt a guy they either don't know or don't wanna see mischaracterized #and so of course they unsub and that's okay. it's okay.#anyways. enough bitching abt my fic not doing well. i don't have much room to complain!#most of my stuff is fairly well received imo. so i can stand to have a flop fic every once in a while. gotta balance things out lmao #the good thing is it's already fully written so the lack of engagement can't stop me!! there's no motivation to kill! it's done already!#anyways. i'll post a chapter a day as planned and then it'll be out of my system in a week and i can post other stuff again finally #next up will be an [N]MbD oneshot. then i'll finally post the Dew Ghost Band OCD fic. then another [N]MbD oneshot ehehe #and thennn ES Ch.5! fucking finally. i can't wait to continue that story #the Dew fic is a oneshot too btw. once AEIWNF is fully posted then the only multi-chapter project i'll have is ES. and that's Enough

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icypiece · 1 year

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Here’s hoping Morocco win tomorrow, so that they can win the whole thing, and that Croatia can get semi-avenged by winning the bronze over France, at least.