#why am i so in love with you | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lostboithoughts · 2 years

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Even if you fell out of love, I don’t understand how you couldn’t commit to me like I did to you..

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andthebeanstalk · 11 months

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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thatrandomblogsays · 4 months

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RIP Annabeth, I just know Percy sacrificing himself for you, after knowing you for a week, after telling you that you’ve done more for him this week than his father ever has, is permanently altering the brain chemistry of your avoidant attachment self

#epitome of the quote: there is something really healing about being loved #which is from a book I CANT REMEMBER SO I CANT LOOK IT UP PROPERLY #let me know if you guys know what I’m talking about #i just know Percy’s actions had her on her knees #what is this? unconditional love?#is this why people make friends?#i am lovable?#this is amazing #oh shit my new friend is about to die #I’m so normal about them (I’m lying)#pjo #pjo spoilers #pjo tv show spoilers #pjo series #pjo tv show #percy jackson #annabeth chase #Percy and Annabeth #mine

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lazylittledragon · 24 days

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hey idk which anxious pre-t babe needs to hear this but i didn't get to when i was younger so. testosterone will not make you ugly. it won't make you a horrible person. it won't 'mutilate' or ruin your body. if you want to go on testosterone then literally all that happens is it makes you really fucking hot and REALLY fucking happy.

#ramble #literally very hot. like very hot #there is so much sweat #'oh you're just trying to paint a pretty picture that it's all fine' yeah i am!!! it's fucking great. i love it #trans people aren't sad clueless little babes who don't know what's going on. if you want to go on hormones you Know what it's going to do #and you WANT THAT WHICH IS WHY YOU'RE DOING IT #i hate hate hate seeing detransitioners like 'it destroyed and mutilated me'#*proceeds to list the normal effects of hormones*#it's all fearmongering and it's SICK #personally i think we should start glorifying transition more. because it's BEAUTIFUL

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sketchy-tour · 1 month

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I need him to bury me in affection right now

#more dca doodles as stress relief cause I am!!! a mess rn!!!!#I mean im fine but aaa woo boy #anYWHOMST! idk why my brain is dragging sun and moon out of the depths of my mind and into the front #After not drawing them for ages I suddenly wanna give them attention again #poor fellas gotta share my attention with WH tho lmao #dca fanart #dca fandom #daycare attendant #fnaf dca #fnaf daycare attendant #fnaf security breach #fnaf sun #my art #sketches #self insert x canon #dont tell moon that sun is my favorite im sorry moon i love you too so much i promise

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vikingpoteto · 1 month

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Marcille: You'll feel healing pains because of my spell.

Chilchuck and Senshi, who had concussions, I think???: THIS IS THE WORST PAIN EVER AAARGH

Laios, who just had a fucking limb reattached: oh. it itches a little?

#poteto rambling #dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi spoilers #AM I MISSING SOMETHING #LAIOS WHY ARE YOU SUCH A FREAK #I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

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willowser · 1 month

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i think katsuki just answers his phone by barking out, "bakugou." no hello, probably doesn't even look at the caller id LOL when he hears it's you, though, i think he breathes out the tension he didn't realize was coiled in his shoulders, and says a lil, "hey," 🥺🥺

and i think when he calls you, and you answer with your sweet, "helloooo ??" he is so soft 😌 just mumbles out a quiet, "what'chu doin'?" and listens as you tell him, before saying what he needed to 😌

#okay one bkg thought and then i am going to bed hehe #i need him terribly i fear 😔#pls just the idea of him huddling in a corner so no one can hear him 🥺 as he speaks softly to you 🥺#and even if he calls to tell you something—he always asks what you're doing 🥺#and listens 🥺 and engages 🥺#i also dont think he says goodbye LOL #he just says 'alright' and hangs up LOL #or he says 'alright love you' hang up #why does this make me so insane for him idk idk #✿ thoughts: bakugou #✿ theme: domestic bakugou

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novelconcepts · 2 years

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The defintion of hell is knowing a show is incredibly well-received in its first season, but if people don’t become machines churning out tweets, content, and rewatching 24/7, there’s no likelihood it’ll get a chance to tell its whole story. This shit is madness. Shows in different genres shouldn’t have to pit-battle for dominance. First seasons are MEANT to be baselines establishing worlds and characters, not complete storylines. The idea that this golden age of television has turned into “get it done in one or get out” is revolting.

#the sandman #paper girls #some of the hot takes on Twitter are breaking me #‘why don’t we know the whole story? it’s bad writing if you don’t have a complete story in the first season’ girl WHAT since WHEN #how many excellent shows were weak as fuck in S1?? and here we’re getting shows with incredible first seasons fighting for their lives #like fuckin Christ dude the idea of long form storytelling is allowing your story time and space to spread out #otherwise we would only make movies #i am so sick of this edge of my seat fear that any new show I fall in love with will get axed because the higher powers don��t care about art #this has to be a bubble right? this has to pop at some point and go back to shows valued on what they are #and don’t even get me started on creators having to beg for good reviews to balance out review-bombing from shitheads #if every one star review is clearly bigoted from the comments? why is anyone taking them into account??#why is there no way to manage this shit aside from creators being like ‘please help us”’

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buckleydiazmp4 · 9 months

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no but the thing is. they KISSED. on screen. it was a real scene, not deleted, not removed from a script, it HAPPENED in front of the world's eyes. and AND the actors are normal about it and the whole cast and crew is normal about it and it's not vague and it's IMPORTANT. no matter the rest of it and what came after it, it happened!!

#and i AM gonna say this in the tags to avoid too much controversy but #STOP COMPARING GOOD OMENS TO SUPERNATURAL THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO POINT IN DOING THAT. WHY #why do you need to treat good omens as inferior to a show that was so fucked up. i love certain aspects of spn but #i would never in my life pit those shows against each other because they are nowhere near the same in ANY way #and guess what. i feel more fulfilled with the (CANON might i remind you) arc between crowley and aziraphale than i ever did with destiel #there. i said it and i WILL happily die on that hill alone if i had to #I LOVE WHEN ROMANTIC FEELINGS BETWEEN CHARACTERS ARE ACKNOWLEDGED AMD THEY DID THAT FOR FUCKING REAL #good omens spoilers #gomens #good omens 2 #good omens #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #david tennant #michael sheen

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ministarfruit · 3 months

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day 2: please be gentle ♡

(femslashfeb prompt list)

#minifemslashfeb2024 #ace attorney #trujinxie #trucy wright #jinxie tenma #WEIRD GIRL NOT-WEDNESDAY!!#they're sooo wacky and goofy. please interact more #ok why did I say 'evil prompts' and I'm still drawing fluff #I am so squishy and weak and I love happiness and joy #I'LL DO SOME EVIL ONES LATER THIS MONTH #I loove jinxie I loove trucy this is just self-indulgent for me #I know you trujinxie enjoyers are out there though!! rise up!!#OH BTW THERE'S SOME MORE STUFF IN THE TAG NOW #PLEASE CHECK OUT MINIFEMSLASHFEB2024 #WE GOT SOMEEEE SAPPHICS EVERYBODY

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zivazivc · 4 months

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“Floyd, could you sing to me?”

The big brother looked up from where he was tucking the blanket under Branch’s feet. “Sure thing,” he said with a light smile. “What would you like to hear? A lullaby?”

“I don’t know,” Branch mumbled as he nestled his head into the pillow. “You choose.”

Floyd could still see a crease of worry between his baby brother’s brows. He softly brushed a thumb over it in a silent reassurance that everything was going to be okay before he turned around to reach for their dad’s old guitar.

I think Floyd would often sing to Branch to get him to fall asleep, usually the songs and lullabies their parents sang when the older four were still little.

I know in the movie it seemed like they all left right after their fight, but I like to imagine that they just stormed off to cool off and that they actually left in the following days. And that this was the last song Floyd sang for Branch that night. :')

Both Sides Now (specifically this cover by Voncken) Rows and flows of angel hair And ice cream castles in the air And feather canyons everywhere I've looked at clouds that way But now they only block the sun They snow and rain on everyone So many things I would've done But clouds got in the way I've looked at clouds from both sides now From up and down, and still somehow It's clouds’ illusions, I recall I really don't know clouds at all Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels The dizzy dancin' way you feel When every fairy tale comes real I've looked at love that way But now it's just another show You leave 'em laughin' as you go And if you care, don't let them know Don't give yourself away I've looked at love from both sides now From give and take, and still somehow It's love's illusions, I recall I really don't know love at all Tears and fears and feeling proud To say "I love you" right out loud Dreams and schemes and circus crowds I've looked at life that way But now my friends, they’re acting strange They shake their heads, and say I've changed Well, something's lost, but something's gained In living life each day I've looked at life from both sides now From up and down And give and take And win and lose, and still somehow It's life's illusions, I recall I really don't know life... I really don't know life at all

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lostboithoughts · 2 years

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I really wish you would’ve gave me the chance

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polarsirens · 1 year

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Would you have fallen in love with her?

#dimension 20 #dimension 20 spoilers #d20 neverafter #neverafter #ylfa snorgelsson #prince gerard of greenleigh #elody of greenleigh #fanart #my art #am i done thinking about this entire conversation? no #god. this moment for no reason got me crying #and that line too. ylfa's so so pure #she loved you for more than you could hop? and #and gerard's little chuckle and yes #stomp on my heart why don't you

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mabbbish · 11 months

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wonderful day to remember ninjago has a canon highschool au

#mad as hell i posted this like two days ago and tumblr ate it then logged me out of my acc????#lloyd has dyed blue hair inspired by mr snail dood inspired by that one ninjago scriptwriter that said he would btw. if you even care #anyway there are many scenarios buzzing in my noggin about gaps in the movie i’m filling them all with hcs #like i am so sure nya could go into service or social work or law or security because shes a genius when it comes to laws and rights #but she has anger issues and she hates authority so she can’t get a job anywhere #that’s why she loves being a ninja!!#plus her steel cap boots are for stomping on people!!!#hate zane’s characterisation in the movie it’s creepy asf in this he’s just everyone’s favourite lab partner #anyway more hcs in art cominbb soon #ninjago #the lego ninjago movie #tlnm #lego ninjago #lloyd garmadon #ninjago lloyd #ninjago jay #ninjago nya #kai smith #nya smith #ninjago kai #ninjago cole #ninjago zane

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sneez · 4 months

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family portrait :D young sam and sybil are behaving themselves and vimes is throwing a hissy fit because they tried to make him wear the helmet

[id: a digital painting of three people sitting for a portrait in a domestic interior. young sam is standing with his hands behind his back and beaming proudly. vimes is standing behind him with his hand on his shoulder, wearing a shiny military uniform and a surly expression. sybil is sitting on the right with an arm around young sam, smiling at the viewer. a plumed helmet is sitting on a table on the left. end id.]

#discworld #sam vimes #sybil ramkin #young sam vimes #artwork #discworld is inspiring me so much at the moment ive got it on the brain #vimes wore the helmet for 3 seconds and then took it off and refused to comb his helmet hair which is why he looks like that #also idk where the idea of sybil wearing wigs came from (i havent read all the books yet so i am not sure if it’s canon or headcanon) but i #am so besotted with that idea so assume sybil is bewigged any time i draw her #thats why she has no grey hairs here. i imagine her having very short wispy hair underneath #i literally love her so much ive been thinking about her for days she means the world 2 me #this is the first time ive drawn either her or young sam and im so happy with how they came out thats exactly how i picture them in my head #ive drawn vimes once before but i can usually get him close to my Brain Picture without too much difficulty #i just think Grumpy Bastard (affectionate) and there he is #also happy end of the year my friends! may 2024 bring you all the things you desire i love you

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theforgottengreatpoem · 4 months

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Alecto offered to help our quest if I gave you up to her. What did you say? I killed her sister. Medusa offered to help me save my mom if I turned in the two of you. What did you say? I cut off her head.

#percy jackson show #percy jackson spoilers #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo #annabeth chase #percy jackson #percabeth #percy jackon and the olympians #sure i'll use the misspelled trending tag why not #my edit #my gifset #mine #episode 3 was so fun you guys #medusa's actress fucking ATE this episode I loved her #not to be a lesbian but oh my fucking god #I would have been turned to stone I am weak

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