#why am i still doing this

[lilyrayaya]

Beta Arceus hits harder than a truck.

Also have this as a bonus. :)

Don't ask. My friend told me to do it.

#pokemon #arceus #beta arceus #art #mew #why am i still doing this

[vinno]

Idk what the canon is (honestly what even is canon in hetalia) but what do you think of the possibility that nations from eras are like, different entities altogether. Not in a metaphorical "I'm a changed person" sense, but like actually different characters just with the same appearance.

I mean already there's Ancient Greece and Greece, which are mother and son. So where do you draw the line? Is it regime change? Redrawn borders? Is monarchy Francis the same person as modern day French Republic Francis? Are Russian Empire Ivan and Russian Federation Ivan really the same person?

#hetalia #ramblings #wondering out loud #why am i still doing this #aph greece #aph france #aph russia

[bpdamn]

you know it’s real bad when the pain makes you get cold sweats and you feel like you’re about to vomit :))

#tw emetophobia #tw chronic illness #great now i’m in emotional mental and physical pain :)) #and we got 88°F/32°C so i‘m suffering even more :‘) #my partner even told me to call an ambulance if it gets any worse lol #(i‘m on pain killers but they’re barely doing ANYTHING) #why am i still doing this #feeling extra super mega sewercidal #personal

[lavender-blush]

I have an ever growing embarrassing history of being ghosted by mediocre men 🤠

#why am i still doing this #classical julie move #julie thinks #mirror ball girlies

[djupcake]

Here's a prompt, pt. 14

#elsanna #elsanna fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic prompt #fanfiction prompts #but not really #why am i still doing this

[indigo6f00ff]

need to share an experience i had 30 minutes ago

(edit: thanks to @walks-the-ages for providing and reminding me to put alt text, sorry it slips my mind alot lol)

#my hands are still shaking to be quite honest i could not put a lot of effort into this. #but like. brain. why did you do that #literally i have been like hopelessly obsessed with de nonstop thinking abt it for the past couple of days it is Scaring me #it is terminal its soooo fucking chronic #disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #for anyone who wants to know i bumped into some guys car that was stopped for a school bus. i think my brain errored and thought #my foot was fully pressing down on the brake pedal but it wasnt. #i am like 99.99 percent sure neither of us had any major damage to our cars but we still filed a police report just in case #because insurance do be a bitch. dudes back bumper was scratched lightly and my front license plate has a dent now #also literally my first ever car accident that ive had ever yippee yay

[celestialdev]

.

#i don’t understand why i can’t stop hurting myself #i’m an adult now #why am i still doing this #i thought i had gotten past this #i think of blood too often #personal #vent

[calmbelly]

All I do is feed this girl

#why am I still doing this #I’m certainly not bored

[wiw3]

You've Nearly Forgotten...

You nearly forgot, you've nearly forgotten, it's almost there, it's almost gone. Almost forgotten writing, almost forgotten creating. But it's me, you is me, really. They'll understand, they'll know what I mean. I'm very okay. I think I'm okay. I'm feeling manic, writing in a manic fit from caffeine and nicotine.

Our lord and saviour Jon Daly says that caffeine plus nicotine equals protein. Now, in his honor, let's slam a can of something and devour a Prime Video series together. My lord, it brings out my inner broadway theatre kid. One way or another my breath hitches at some of the performances and mixing. Every so often there comes a show or series that I become effervescently foaming at the mouth with jealousy that I didn't create it.

I don't mention names since I don't like to play favorites. I'm a fan amongst my loyalists. In any case, I feel an emotional flareup every single time I listen to the soundtrack on my way to work. I'm elsewhere at work constantly thinking about it, it's driving me crazy.

In more Doc-cer related news, I've nearly lost all motivation for writing. It was at the very pinnacle of the waning of my creative ability that I discovered a seemingly-infinite source of inspiration. I simply need to swallow my pride and listen. It's not that hard, at the end of the day. It starts with apologizing for accidentally creating more work for a coworker at work when you were working together today. You apologize and thank about five times each, a few in rapid succession.

Naturally I've lost my ability to flow, and this has very bombastic cadence, which is certainly a way to put it, I'm sure everyone including me is thinking. I'm going to go back to procrastinating on starting a new project I've been sitting on and listening to more of this shudderingly-good tune set.

Chillax, my mayo-clinician brothers.

-Doc, as always

#why did he sign it #why did I refer to myself as he #why am i still doing this #kind of depressed ngl #cried a lot two days ago #feeling fixed now #healing #the old me wasn't working #gotta evolve somehow #sorry for this #sorry for everything all the time

[asmolandtinyfox]

i (why am i do this) knew i had to mix one hue (why did I draw mermas? idk) with another at one pointe (WHY "E")

#illustration #sketch #digital art #bright colors #huevember #art challenge #mermaid art #merfolk #why am i still doing this #idk what else to tag #monochrome

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[uncanny-tranny]

The leftism/anticapitalism leaving people's bodies the zeptosecond you imply that disabled people who aren't "productive" still matter in society and need to be treated like intrinsic equals who have a place in this world:

#disability #disability advocacy #described images #image description in alt #ableism #ableism tw #my full-time job is my disability and you're lucky that i am still 'productive' as-is #your boss doesn't care that you think you're superior for being hired by them. they're still going to treat you like profit machines #it astounds me how people will capitulate for oppression because they place their intrinsic value in their ability to be at the top... #...or at least 'at the top' compared to others. it's the same impulse that makes people think their cisgender status makes them superior... #...you are placing your worth into systems which not only oppress others but offer you no true sense of worth... #...ESPECIALLY if you're also being exploited (even if just a bit)... #...you have a job sure but... do you actually get treated like a human being? are you actually paid? are you actually safe?... #...if the answer to any of those questions and more is 'no' then why do you place your value in capitalistic production. genuinely. #and why would you DEMAND disabled people to have the same exploitation you experience. why do you DEMAND productivity if you are proletaria #yes being a leftist and anticapitalist are linked but. some people still internalize capitalism without questioning it #being a leftist is about challenging that rather than assuming you're correct i think #also scientists were very silly when describing time that's like. less than a millisecond i think

[obsob]

the accolade ( the...the cat-olade...)

#mine #original #i cannot even begin to explain the anguish. the torment. this drawing has brought me #and i STILL dont like it. i simply cant work on it any longer i cant i cant. i must be rid of it #eating drywall as we speak #you want to know how many weeks ive worked on this. THREE. ALMOST. #you want to know how long my other cat drawings take me ?? 3 days absolute MAX #anyway. begon foul creature etc #i havent left extremely long tags for a long while hello everyone good lord there are many of you #we are going stratford this weekend very exciting #its going to be a little chilly and i want to take my new coat with me but issue its not chilly right now so i cant wear it onto the train #i do not think. i can. stuff it into my suitcase i dont think that will happen #i am sure i will figure it out #also. no longer vegan . eggs have won me over. egg egg egg. #im having to restrain myself SO hard from buying more wool i want a shawl i want a shawl #i want more cute DRESSES why are nice comfy dresses 10000£ #i look on vinted and its like dresses for popping your pussy in like not. the vibe im going for thank u #anyway. im going to eat crackers now

[omniomnis]

Chris Evans is an old soul

#why am I still doing this #always on his side #is anyone not? #congrats Chris Evans! 🎉

[skrs-cats]

set after leafpool dies, before the bonus scene w jayfeather dealing w that grief gets resolved. guess who was bitter over a certain cardboard character bitch not being included in that

Next

#welcome to my blog where i *gets hit on the head by an anvil and i fall to hell* #do NOT underestimate lionblaze fans. there are five of them and theyre all fucking stupid #warrior cats #lionblaze #leafpool #squirrelflight #hollyleaf #jayfeather #to the anons in my inbox this is why i havent responded am sorry... will get to u guys when im done w this monster #art #im also having a lot of trouble figuring out the alt text for this. if anyone wants to help itd be greatly appreciated T_T #added ID in alt text! ty curlfeatherstar!!!!! (made a few minor adjustments since that is still in fact leaf in the third image- #squilfs walking towards her!)

[ministarfruit]

day 2: please be gentle ♡

(femslashfeb prompt list)

#minifemslashfeb2024 #ace attorney #trujinxie #trucy wright #jinxie tenma #WEIRD GIRL NOT-WEDNESDAY!! #they're sooo wacky and goofy. please interact more #ok why did I say 'evil prompts' and I'm still drawing fluff #I am so squishy and weak and I love happiness and joy #I'LL DO SOME EVIL ONES LATER THIS MONTH #I loove jinxie I loove trucy this is just self-indulgent for me #I know you trujinxie enjoyers are out there though!! rise up!! #OH BTW THERE'S SOME MORE STUFF IN THE TAG NOW #PLEASE CHECK OUT MINIFEMSLASHFEB2024 #WE GOT SOMEEEE SAPPHICS EVERYBODY