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#why are u so pretty
samberrybay · 9 months
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*FALLS ON MY KNEES*
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harryarchiv · 2 years
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channelrat · 2 years
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Ok I'm crying now
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officialspec · 3 months
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can i say something. for years i thought the joke of the song short skirt/long jacket by cake was that he wanted a woman who was hung like a horse. like i thought when he says jacket it was a last-second fakeout because he very obviously meant to say cock. and the rest of the things in the song were just her personality and interests. which were secondary to her awesome penis
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brighteuphony · 1 month
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@xoxo-lahh
So in this verse, Tsunade never ends up teaching Sakura- as that role is fulfilled by Chiyo. (But she DOES return to Konoha eventually).
And Chiyo's first rule (for everything lol) is: Nothing is Free.
Chiyo always demanded something in return for healing, and unlike Tsunade, she considered medical jutsu a part of her arsenal. If it could kill, then it was always an option.
So Sakura learned from that mindset, trading her services and using her rare skillet as a powerful negotiating tactic, especially during Tea Country's civil war. Her healing effectively kept her, Enji, and Saeko in relative safety and provided her a card to play when she needed.
And, while Sakura is nowhere near as jaded as Chiyo is, and often enough of a bleeding heart to help people for damn near free, (a place to stay, food for the night, a new holster for her kunai), she is also VERY pragmatic about her skillset. The civil war taught her that sometimes, letting someone die is better. This puts her at odds with Tsunade, who has a very different mindset (and was, historically, bitter enemies with Chiyo).
Another issue that arises with Tsunade, is that the Godaime is a doctor- while Chiyo is more of a healer. Their understanding of the human body comes from a different place.
Tsunade can name every bone and muscle and perform open-heart surgeries. Sakura can heal bone and stitch back together muscles and flesh on a very basic level, but she's never going to be able to open up a human body and revolutionize medical history like she does in canon. (In canon, Sakura creates a Jutsu that allows her to do a four-man surgery alone; she can't do that here.)
However, she can do some stuff that Tsunade claims is impossible—like reconstructing/altering someone's chakra network, unblocking tenketsu, sometimes turning off someone's dojutsu from a distance, and lite-healing remotely (Tsunade is very upset about this one specifically). A lot of it comes from her mastery of Genjutsu.
Genjutsu, as I reworked in my comic, requires a complete understanding of someone's chakra network to control ALL their senses. Sakura's understanding and control are so prodigious that she can almost autonomously control people's bodily functions (a skillset that is GREATLY aided by training with Chiyo's puppet mastery).
She uses Genjutsu as a tool to understand the body and employs it as both support (helping an ally maintain a sense of gravity as they're pulled underground or flung in the air, etc) and offense.
And that's it for the wall of text! Once again, thank you SO much for the amazingly kind words and all the interest in this AU! <3
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thatdeadaquarius · 2 months
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College be kicking my ass but we continue on like Scaramouche (alive and kicking, but still crabby about it all lmfao)
Random idea but what happens when the acolytes got hold of Creator that is able to squeeze into small places (like a cat would but less liquid) and knows how to escape? Think of sagau but instead of all the deaths, its just they got overexited and chased the Creator the moment they see them which scared them shitless seeing a mob just appear out of nowhere.
I mean who wouldn't after seeing your favourite person in your favourite game just appear right in front of you? (I apologize in advance to the poor unfortunate sucker)
Imagine a world-wide search that keeps getting them heart attacks. Venti just flying by with Dvalin ony to see you on top of the floating pillar above Dragonspine LEANING PRECARIOUSLY OH MY ARCHONS GET AWAY FROM THE EDGE---
Zhongli walking around trying to find peace and quiet only to sense your presence which led him towards Azhdaha's domain and nearly shouted in terror seeing you hanging by one of the limestones above the slumbering dragon your grace what and how the in the fucking name of teyvat did you---
Yae Miko screaming in surprise seeing you inside one of the cupboards of your grace's house (you made a small temporary one in each country in case u need more rest) that she and Ei found in one of the remote islands.
Nahida and the entire Forest Rangers having one of the most intense, frustrating and most challenging game of hide and seek in the entire freaking forest.
You hiding underneath the sand like a fricking snake everytime Cyno spots you from a disrance.
-Vine Boom 🧨
I am no longer apologizing for lateness simply bc atp its basically assumed Im terribly sorry 💀 /so gen
  
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Content under -----------------✄
Sun: Reader, (you/they/them)
Orbit: Headcanons-ish, Imposter SAGAU? Imposter SAGAU Reversed Ver? unclear (NOT DARK)
Stars: little here, little there
Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: reader/you thinks everyone is hunting them down, dark sagau fake-baiting lmao, & Trigger Warnings: none known.
Please comment if I missed any. /gen
No but the traumatic experience of you cautiously wandering into Mondstadt after realizing ur in Genshin like, ✨👄✨
and every single street/alleyway you try to go down to even avoid it is just people all looking at you like: 👁️👄👁️ ???
and ur over here equally just like: 😃 tf u lookin at????
u get up near the cathedral and finally see a playable character, Barbara, and she just fully GASPS and POINTS at you like she’s getting paid to be an actor for this
shouting sm nonsense like: “My Creator??? King of All???? IS THAT YOU?????”
and after which a few nuns check the commotion, Rosaria and Barbara’s Visions are glowing, and all join in heckling you
Venti coming (literally) flying around a corner on a breeze, saying he was trying to catch up to you, and ohhh now ur Convinced:
None of these bitches must be happy to see you, you did forcefully control their bodies if by the sounds of it they knew you/they must’ve been aware during the game, aw damn looks like u gotta run for your life now
You just book it out of Mond, Venti/Barbara yelling after you to come back, and meanwhile you’re leaving a shell-shocked Jean/Diluc/Kaeya (with Visions glowing) in ur wake on the way out
Not one being, mortal or otherwise, convinces you to stay in Mond, and you finally get to Dragonspine- the only place u know they wont follow
(well maybe the pyro characters but ur betting if u can make it up the mountain theyre not committed to,, running you down? arresting you?? ur not sure)
u make it all the way up and luckily everythings all solved like u did in the game, the traveler must be well into teyvat by now, and u decide to say “for the already achieved achievement” and fuck around and find out near the nail
U thought as u finally got on it u heard a scream somewhere in the sky, and u spotted Dvalin carrying Venti/Barbatos, and once again book it out of town (damn u cant believe theyre so committed they got the dragon in on it…)
so u haul ass all the way down the mountain, traveling only at night, living like a vampire, holing up during the day when u see Mond citizens/knights/gods/etc. walking around presumably looking for you
but u make it, finally! sweet, sweet Liyue, ur 2nd home (besides Mondstadt)
Only to immediately, like right outside the fucking gates to Liyue Harbor, run into Zhongli.
and he’s standing there like this mf knew u were coming, and the first thing out his mouth is some BS like, “…Darnell, that you??”/ref LMAOO
but instead of laughing abt it u just scream and run for your life haha
oh jesus h christ- he’s sending the adepti after you fuck- how hated are you??
sure u maybe hate Celestia a little, and sympathize with the traveler, but this seems a little extreme?!
you go to the one place u know he/any other adeptus doesnt like to come often, Azdaha’s cave
and after a night (well, day bc ur sleeping during the day now) of Azdaha sleeping peacefully, he wakes up fully coherent and u actaully have a rlly pleasant conversation with him about Liyue food lol
he also kept mentioning some kind of god? but like in reference to you?? are u connected to them, u kinda know a lot of gods atp so ur not sure which he means, a god to rule them all??? Celestia?? yeah u guess u know those fucks-
Cue u looking down from ur perch in the stalagmites above, u found a ledge and Azdaha helped you,
only to see a very concerned and borderline nervous Zhongli down below, Azhdaha just greets him like nothing’s wrong, but as soon as he sees you’re uncomfortable, helps you escape (more like teleport) away
(the old geo archon was probably nervous just be around Azhdaha u assume)
and now ur on the islands of Inazuma
u know exactly what islands are all but abandoned, the ghost one, the electrocuting one, and the scary bird one, all great options 👍
Raiden and Yae Miko manage to find you on every single one, with Yae getting more and more exasperated, and Ei getting more and more concerened with every position they find you in
hanging out on the banks of the electro river that would kill you if it weren’t for the little electro trees fending it off (thank fuck u maxed that shit out while in game)
bc u assumed they’d hate to be around it, plus lots of ronin- nope Ei is almost… scolding you?? oh but she’s got her Musou no Hitotachi out fuCK-
(she was slaying ronins that were getting too close to you)
she also is constantly jumpscaring you on tsurumi island/ghost island bc while the ghosts are gone, the creepy atmosphere isn't, and it makes her all the more terrifying as The Raiden Shogun comes walking out of the fog into the cave you've hidden in, stuff of ur nightmares for weeks as u just bird box style try to be silent and stealth around the island to get to an abandoned boat,
literally her scary ass purple sword glowing silhouette wandering around in the fog as you paddle away 💀
getting to thunder bird island and Yae Miko is literally both running/teleporting as quickly as she can to you, as you jump from floating rock to floating rock to escape her, god its so unnerving to watch someone so lazy running after you
she keeps getting in this weird “praising the heavens pose” sometimes when you jump, oh shit she’s aiming hER ATTACKS AT YOU THATS WHY-
oh good- she missed and deflected some stray debris coming ur way, u gotta get to the bird area and see if you can glide away (u managed to get a glider at some point thank fuck)
the bird is luckily on ur side against all these mfs trying to hunt u down (for controlling their bodies u guess) and flies u back to mainland teyvat
sumeru u thought would have the most mercy on u tbh, maybe fontaine bc Neuvillette only rlly cares if u break “fontaine” laws, maybe he wouldn't care to chase down a mortal like u over this
and nahida bc shes just nice
which is somewhat true, as you are acting like tarzan swinging around on vines and shit to escape the forest rangers
but she does show up in ur dreams, but shes just all foggy or distorted, u guess bc ur not of this world or smth??
and so it just unnerves u more, and u try to make it out to the desert, where at least there's no gods to worry about
mf ur hunkered down in a pyramid and see the shadowy shape of Cyno walking thru a sandstorm at you 💀
U dont kno how u got out of that one tbh, smth abt “king deshret made a plan for this” and left it behind for ppl to use to escape underground, sweet
And while Nahida and other eremites, scholars like Alhaitham/Kaveh/Dehya were looking around the desert sands, u slip by them
And u make it to the oasis at the edge of the desert, and steal an old rowboat to cross to fontaine (if i had a nickel everytime u needed to escape a god via old rowboat, youd have 2 nickels- )
and getting to Fontaine is not much better.
U literally get to the clockwork tower, foggy, ominous, uninhabited except for treasure-seekers occasionally, its perfect
until Neuvillette himself just strolls in abt 3 nights of u making camp there
u nearly shit urself as he just fake-knocked on a wall, meanwhile ur like hanging from the ceiling (four limbs out suspending you type of fictional shit)
luckily, mostly bc u were trying to wait him out (which wasn't possible ur limbs hurt so bad) he was, finally, the first person around u long enough to be genuinely kind and patient and answer questions
(Neuvillette acc couldn't figure out where u were at first, and was very confused how u got ur voice to boom around this chamber of the tower, after a minute of talking u trusted him enough to tell him to look up lol)
just in time too, he was able to hide u from the archons a little longer bc u were nervous
(u were already intimidated enough by Neuvillette being irl himself, talking to you, let alone all the other gods/vision users, as u realized afterwards thinking abt all the ppl trying to “hunt u down”, that if they all counted as ppl actually wanting to see you, that was a rlly overwhelming amount, esp if their first instinct is to run at you??? what are you, a fan-abused/disrespected kpop idol????)
trying to be fancy and schedule posts once i get enough free time to actually wrangle my adhd to actually partake in my favorite hobbies 💀
well as long as I'm not getting slammed with lots of shifts again
hope u guys had a great weekend and have a good week! Happy late Valentine’s Day :)
Safe Travels Vine Boom,
💀♒
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temeyes · 3 months
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the skull-clad marshal
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ryllen · 4 months
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You know I am surprise Sebek that is never jealous to anyone who is close to Yuu. It is a boys school and I can imagine some have crushes on her.
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#jk jk it's a total tragedy for sebek if he ever loves the same person as the one malleus loves#i swear malleus just loves the company#or is he#he did give me a little heart throb at the masquerade but that's all just yet#i can't really imagine anyone else likes her#malleus draconia#because partly i really don't plan of shipping her in the first place#sebek was a total surprise development fhsdshdh#this question arose at the time she was being shoved to jack#i can see that jack is totally someone to be jealous at ha ha; he is a total hunk#but i feel like sebek see him as a solid trustable friend than a snatcher who would disrespect him#i did think of a scenario from how sebek is jealous of malleus drinking coffee with silver that goes like...#yuu talking to silver; sebek be like “WHAT WHY ARE U TALKING TO SILVER MORE”#and yuu be like “bcs silver whispers when he talks”#and stubborn as he is sebek be like “I CAN TALK IN WHISPER TOO”#and he sat there and tried so hard to whisper which pretty much end up as at the very least normal talking voice#and Sebek just “GRRR NGRHRHHRH!!!!!! YOU'LL SEE I'LL WHISPER PROPERLY ONE DAY!!!! AND U'LL HANG OOUT WITH ME MORE”#fjsdsdj#but i don't even know what would yuu talk with silver#i didn't even realize before that silver is actually in 2nd class#they look so same age#yuu be like - . - to everyone anyhow#she just keeps the guy act while brushing off the thought whether the others already know she is a girl or not#sebek zigvolt#twst yuu#twst mc#twisted wonderland#twst#fanart
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a2zillustration · 2 months
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I carried this thing for MONTHS with the EXPRESS PURPOSE of putting Raphael in it (knowing full well Larian wouldn't let me do that, mechanically) and I had one major miscalculation.
| First | | Previous | | Next |
[[ All Croissant Adventures (chronological, desktop) ]]
[[ All Croissant Adventures (app) ]]
#Ok I'm gonna ramble in the tags about all this get ready:#I KNEW Larian wouldn't let me actually pull this off but I PROMISE you that stupid flask sat in my inventory since the moment I grabbed it#WAITING for when I could write this little bit about putting Raphael in it#I even threw it at him in the fight with a 30% hit chance and it succeeded so I considered that Larian giving me permission to say it workd#But as I was reading up on it again when I was sketching this I saw the bit about native planes and I cried LMAO. But it's dnd-#so I rewrote is as it would've happened in a game. U kno.#Also I have been waiting to use that fox line for SO LONG bc of Croissant's dad being a fox-like fey creature#So much backstory that's slotted in PERFECTLY with the BG3 narrative#Anyway absolutely wild that we managed to take out this ancient powerful devil - and on the first try!#Lae'zel with a potion of speed did WORK. Gale came in clutch with hold monster. Astarion gave Raph stage fright. Croissant made him dance#(I'm pretty sure he just doesn't have a dance animation in ascended form lol)#Hope didn't even need to use divine intervention - this party is terrifying#Croissant hated him but in the end I loved Raphael I see why all you people like him#bg3#baldur's gate 3#bg3 spoilers#act III spoilers#house of hope#croissant adventures#tav#raphael#lae'zel#iron flask#comics#ALSO shoutouts to you if you both noticed and knew which worthikids animation I borrowed the expression in panel 5 from
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muppetbyers · 2 years
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this shot. this shot right here encapsulates their s4 dynamic perfectly
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cursedzucchini · 1 year
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DC x DP prompt #5
This is so dumb but Danny is Bruce's uncle.
And not in the Danny is old or whatever, no, my dude is 15 looks like he's 13 and when he was running away from home, he met this really really old lady which looked at him, looked at his wounds and went "aight I'm adopting u"
Danny thought she was a ghost and this was her obsession, so imagine his surprise when it turned out that not only this lady was alive, but also supposedly from very influential family??? Danny wasn't sure Abt that one, bc he himself never heard abt these "Waynes" like that just sounds weird, but hey. It made the lady happy so.
Anyway they part ways, bc the lady only wanted to adopt not care, and Danny decides, hey now that I have a new fam, maybe i should get to know them or something?
Well imagine his surprise when he found out some guy in his fifties is supposedly his nephew and has like bazillion kids.
Idk what happens next yada yada sheniganas happen and than Danny ends up in Gotham. And meets Bruce Wayne. Who obviously sees young child w si gns of abuse, black hair, blue eyes and is immidietly like "aight I'm adopting u" (like grandma like grandson huh)
Only this time, Danny is sure he isn't a ghost, and has a counter argument "u can't adopt me I'm ur uncle" and immidietly flees bc dealing w his problems isn't something he does.
Cue confused batfam or stuff idk, I'm so tired and this is just an excuse for crack
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falling-skyzz · 3 months
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genuinely never seen anything like hilda. its so unique with its limited color palette, character animation, shape language, lines, everything, not to mention the voice acting, characterization, world building etc etc. i could write multiple essays about how awesome this cartoon is and it wouldnt do it justice
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inkskinned · 11 months
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one of the things about being an educator is that you hear what parents want their kids to be able to do a lot. they want their kid to be an astronaut or a ballerina or a politician. they want them to get off that damn phone. be better about socializing. stop spending so much time indoors. learn to control their own temper. to just "fucking listen", which means to be obedient.
one of the things i learned in my pedagogy classes is that it's almost always easier to roleplay how you want someone to act. it's almost always easier to explain why a rule exists, rather than simply setting the rule and demanding adherence.
i want my kids to be kind. i want them to ask me what book they should read next, and i want to read that book with them so we can discuss it. i want my kid to be able to tell me hey that hurt my feelings without worrying i'll punish them. i want my kid to be proud of small things and come running up to me to tell me about them. i want them to say "nah, i get why this rule exists, but i get to hate it" and know that i don't need them to be grateful-for-the-roof-overhead while washing the dishes. i want them to teach me things. i want them to say - this isn't safe. i'm calling my mom and getting out of this. i want them to hear me apologize when i do fuck up; and i want them to want to come home.
the other day a parent was telling me she didn't understand why her kid "just got so angry." this woman had flown off the handle at me.
my dad - traditional catholic that he is - resents my sentiment of "gentle parenting". he says they'll grow up spoiled, horrible, pretentious. granola, he spits.
i am going to be kind to them. i am going to set the example, i think. and whatever they choose become in the meantime - i'm going to love them for it.
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donnatroyyyy · 3 months
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Dick genuinely doesn’t have a favorite sibling, he’s like the parent that says “I love all my children equally” and you believe it, he actually loves them all equally. He’s been trying to convince them that for the last few years, they don’t believe him, so he does what he has to, he says it’s Steph and let’s her deal with it.
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chronicowboy · 3 months
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manifesting a s7 bi buck confirmation where the 118 are on a call and the victim/their friend/Random Civilian is getting annoyed makes a comment aimed at buck & eddie about "straight white men" and they both look offended then eddie says "do I look white???" and buck's like "do I look straight???"
how the others react (if at all) is tbc at this stage
i'm a sucker for inappropriate whisper arguments in the Absolute Worst of Situations so now all i'm seeing is eddie whipping around to buck when he says it with the widest doe eyes any human being has ever achieved and oblivious little buck waving the vic/friend/civilian off like "it's fine, could happen to anyone, you know" and then eddie's like "uh, yeah, it did, you're not straight?" and then it's like for the GA oh no are they going to do a kind of internalised homophobia arc for eddie where he re-examines his entire friendship with buck after finding out he likes men and yes he is going to re-examine his entire friendship with buck after finding out he likes men but it'll be the opposite of internalised homophobia (externalised homoeroticism)
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why-the-heck-not · 5 months
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