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#why cant he ever stop them from leaving
8rujaa · 11 days
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my therapist really saved me….
#tw abuse // tw sa#i can’t sleep bc i keep thinking about this.#like i probably would’ve not been here if it weren’t for her#i started seeing her january of 2023… my life has changed entirely since then and she was definitely the one who got the ball rolling#literally so much has changed since then and it’s all because of her#i was so dissociated during our first few sessions#thanks to her i was able to get diagnosed and medicated for adhd. i was able to realize i was in an abusive situation and plan a way out#i was able to focus on myself and my healing and she’s helped me reframe so much of my negative thinking#i was able to process a lot of emotions and become a better version of myself with each session#she’s truly incredible.#i remember the first comment she made about the relationship had been ‘’so it’s like there’s an imbalance of control in the relationship’’#i had put my partners on such a high pedestal that i had no idea they could be doing anything wrong#and i asked her what she meant and she said ‘from what you’ve been describing it’s sounds like a strict parents and child type of dynamic’#she told me they didn’t need to understand why i wanted to leave and they didn’t need to make that decision. if that’s what was going to be#best for me the only thing i could do is let them know my reasoning and simply leave. i didn’t need their permission.’’#i remember being so confused at that realization bc like… i had been putting their emotions over mine the whole time i had forgotten simply#doing what’s best for me was an option… l#ever since then i’ve been putting myself first and it’s been a steady uphill from rock bottom… i’ve made an incredible amount of progress#when i first started with her getting out of bed and walking to the kitchen was incredibly difficult and took all my strength.#yesterday i conquered a mountain!!!!!!! i hiked all the way to the top!!!!! :D#me a year ago thought it was going to take me years and years to recover. as soon as i left i made leaps of progress#im incredibly proud of myself and grateful for her. and my reiki lady she’s also been a great great help.#the silver lining is i realized who really matters. and the relationships i cared about deepened.#my sweet virgo friend was the one who was always like ‘THATS A GROWN ASS MAN WHO CANT UNDERSTAND BASIC CONSENT???’#LMFAO i would be like ‘but he has trauma and bla bla bla’ she looked me dead in the eyes and said#’jess you said with your last boyfriend that you would never make excuses for a man who was hurting you again. stop defending him.’#she’s really a gem and i treasure her with my life. i hope she knows i love her. she’s family at this point#she’s also literally saved my life before (like deadass called 911 for help)#im glad i had the support system i had. that was a rough situation with so many layers and im glad i got through it#my 22nd year of life was by far the worst of my life and i don’t ever want to put myself in that situation again. im glad i learned.
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riaki · 5 months
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i literally cant stop thinkin’ about highschoolbully!gojo who used to be your ride or die ‘til he started getting attention from those popular jock type guys who are always assholes to everyone. and him being.. well, him means he preens under attention no matter who it’s from, so naturally he started to gravitate towards that group and their little troop of cheerleading fangirls. and then he started distancing from you and without either of you really realizing it, you’ve slipped between the other’s fingers. but the way he acts towards you makes you think he let you fall without moving a muscle to slow you down.
soon enough, a year swings by and by the end of it he’s gone from your life, save as just another face in the gaggle of boys who make crude jokes and laugh at smart kids and pop milk cartoons during lunch just for the hell of it. but you’re minding your own business, ‘cause you’re mature enough to realize that people come and go, no matter how close you might’ve been and you think it’s unfortunate that so many memories could be thrown aside in a blink of an eye, but it makes a lot of sense when you walk past satoru and his friends bullying some random kid. you don’t know him, but you’ve heard enough to realize it’s his girlfriend satoru’s flirting with while his ‘gang’ kick at the kid. and it’s sickening, but you don’t say anything when you walk by.
and when you don’t ever see the kid afterward and catch the dark eyebags under his girlfriend’s eyes, you come to the cruel realization that satoru isn’t the boy who’d bandage the scrape on your knee you got from tripping in the playground or buy you a soda because he’s noticed your sweat when you were walking home and you don’t have any money left on you.
it’s a glass half empty, half full type of situation. on the one hand, you don’t have him anymore. on the other hand, you don’t have him anymore. that is, you lost your best friend, but you’ve also lost someone who has the potential to absolutely ruin your life. and you don’t know whether to be glad or not, so you just mind your own business even if it hurts a little when he ignores you, stops tossing paper at your head in class (unless it’s to embarrass you) and stops walking you to and from school.
but the cherry on top of the shit cake is that he doesn't get it. so when he approaches you in the library one day after satiating the need to tear pages from books and make them into paper airplanes to throw at people, he doesn't seem to understand why you try to ignore him, or put off his attempts to hold a convo. but the worst part is that he's just sleazy and clueless about it. it's like he took an eraser and wiped every single year of your friendship off the chalkboard with one fell swipe, and you wish he'd done that too to the less-than-appropriate messages he and his friends had written towards one of your classmates.
he doesn't understand why you're hesitant to talk, and that's what makes it the worst. he always thinks he's in the right, and he keeps setting you off and it sucks that he knows exactly what sets you off. "i'm an asshole? what're you talking about? really, you're in over your head. you never change." he laughs, and you ignore him, and he gets bored, and he's about to leave when he spots your wallet open next to your book, on the table. there's a polaroid peeking out, and he recognizes the tufts of white hair to be him. but there's a weird feeling in his chest, and he thinks he gets it from you, so he leaves because he thinks you're weird.
and it goes on; you practically become a nobody in satoru's eyes, because of that weird, weird feeling you give him. it's unfamiliar and he's never gotten it before and he doesn't like it. but it's unavoidable when your professor pairs you two for the end-of-term project. and of course, you're ready to do all the work, because that's how it always was between you when you were kids. but sometimes he'd surprise you by helping, and he'd show you that he was actually intelligent just to earn your praise because he liked it. but he ignored you, and you did everything, and it would've been okay if not for his friends egging him on to present your entire project when the day came and leave you with no content for a grade.
that's the first time it hits him: does he really want to do that? but it's not like it'll be the first time; you've always taken the hits for him, because you're naturally smart and you'll pick yourself back up in no time, and you get why he does it, so it'll be okay. so he agrees, and he enjoys the time he gets to spend with you through it, but the nagging weird feeling that blooms in his chest like a pesky weed only grows stronger. that's all his feelings ever seem to do around you.
but before you know it, presentation day swings around. you had coffee this morning (on his card), and you're ready enough to shoot him a small smile that sends his heart a-flutter. so you go up, feeling up to the task and ready until— he starts talking, and talking, and talking, and people don't think that he's taking your words out of your mouth because he's intelligent when he wants to make you praise him and you don't get the chance to get a word in and you notice the guys are laughing and hitting each other's shoulders to themselves in the upper rows and before you know it it's over. people are clapping but moreso they're looking at you and they're whispering— but it's terribly loud and they don't bother to hide it. they call you things that shouldn't bother you but they do anyway, because it's satoru's fault, and you're such a fool for thinking you could have it your way again.
so you leave class early, excusing yourself and ignoring the way your professor gives you a distasteful look and scribbles something next to your name. you're out the door in a second, neglecting your bags and satoru's a little lost because— didn't he just do good? people were clapping, and laughing with him and not at him, but it's attention either way so he doesn't mind. so why do you? why did you look at him like he stabbed you in the back? and his friends are calling his name, and he wishes he could chase after you and do something but he doesn't.
and it's a little sickening what they do next; one of their girls grabbed your bags and tossed it to them, and they've started rifling through it as if they own it, tearing up your shit and dumping everything onto the ground and he's kind of just... glued to the chair by his feelings. his heart feels like it's been patched together and the weird fuzzy feeling he had in his chest that's been cultivating has extinguished to be replaced with something he realizes he's only ever felt when it comes to you— guilt.
he's so lost in his thoughts that he doesn't realize his friend is silently offering him something— nudging his side to get his attention. he takes it without really realizing he moved his hand, and his silent friend with the gauges in his ears and the dark hair gets up and leaves without another word. when satoru looks down, he realizes he's been given your wallet. "the reward for betraying your baby," they call it. like all you're worth is the money in your account.
he's a little curious. that's how he's always been; asking you questions, rummaging through your stuff, laughing sheepishly and shaking it off when you caught him red-handed. so he opens it up, ignoring your sad little cards and the funny look on your license. he's looking for something, subconsciously; but he doesn't find it. there's no white tuft of hair to suggest his presence in your life; just empty black leather. nothing else.
and he doesn't see you after. or the following day. or the following weeks; weeks that turn into months that turn into the end of school and he's graduating but you're not by his side. and neither are his so called 'friends'; the only thing he has to their name is your own ruined friendship. it's a shame; he feels alone. very alone. no fuzzy weird feeling, not even that thing people call guilt. no attention to chase, and connections are ever harder to make. it shouldn'tve mattered that much, right? it was just a presentation. why wouldn't you just come back to him like you always did? were you not still friends...?
but the blood is still on his hands, and he doesn't manage to ever wash it off. guilt has a way of festering; of weighing on the heart 'till there's nothing left to feel or think but unfortunate circumstance and what could've been done differently. it just sucks that he never tried hard enough to keep you from slipping between his grasp. and now, he doesn't even have a polaroid to your friendship's name.
pt.2
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mclqren · 1 month
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PERFECT ★ CL16
PAIRING ✦ charles leclerc x fem!singer!reader
SUMMARY ✦ most of your songs are based off of your relationship with your boyfriend, so it's only fair that he writes a song for you, right? [ SMAU ]
WARNINGS ✦ cursing
REQUESTED ✦ here!
NOTES ✦ for the purpose of this fic, i have stolen some songs from other artists to use as the reader's/charles'. as per request, the fc i've used is sabrina carpenter, but feel free to picture whoever you want! my requests are open so feel free to leave a request :)
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yourusername my new song 'cinnamon girl', and the music video to go with it, is out now!! i'd like to thank everyone who supported me through the making of this song, but especially my boyfriend, who inspired me to write it. je t’aime 💌
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user1 THEIR RELATIONSHIP HAS ME SCREAMINGGG WHEN IS IT MY TURN
user2 SO REAL THEY'RE SUCH CUTIES
charles_leclerc forever proud of you ❤️
yourusername 💘💘
user3 her aesthetic means absolutely everything to me
user4 THE SONG IS EVERYTHING AND MOREEE I LOVE IT!!
user5 y/n l/n one chance PLEASEEE
oliviarodrigo so proud of you baby!! 💜
yourusername thank you sm liv i love you 💌
user6 their friendship is everything to me.
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yourusername cinnamon girl is already at one million streams on spotify?! actually insane - thank you all so much for supporting me and my vision, i love you all to death 💌
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user10 WOAH 1 MILLION ALREADY IS CRAZYYY
user11 beyond proud of you y/n you’ve come so far 💗💗
charles_leclerc couldn’t be prouder of you ❤️
yourusername love you!! 💕💕
user12 the way he supports her>>
user13 the fact charles leclerc inspired this song is actually everything to me
user14 IM IN LOVE W EVERYTHING YOU DO
tatemcrae MY GIRL COME ON ❤️
yourusername TATEEE MY BABY 💕
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yourusername next stop: bahrain!! 💌
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user17 y’all’s relationship is everything to me
charles_leclerc ❤️❤️
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user18 Y/N IN BAHRAIN THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
user19 the way he looks at her omg
user20 i want someone to look at me the way charles looks at y/n oh my days
oliviarodrigo take me w you!! 😭
yourusername next time!! 💕
user21 she’s so sweet i cant
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charles_leclerc touchdown in bahrain! let’s hope for a good race 👊
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user22 HES BACKKKK
user23 LECLERCCC
user24 y/n is glowing omg
yourusername can’t wait to watch 💕
charles_leclerc ❤️
user25 awwww stop it rn
yourusername FORZA FERRARIII
carlossainz55 SIEMPRE ❤️
user26 y/n’s two moods: cutesy gf and raging ferrari fan
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charles_leclerc i promised something new and exciting with my music, and here it is. 'perfect' is out now - a song i produced and played purely on the piano. this song is for my love: you write songs about me all the time, so here's a little present from me to you ❤️
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user30 he's so in love it's actually the cutest thing ever
user31 this song is actually so beautiful what on earth.
yourusername my love 💌
charles_leclerc forever ❤️
user32 kill me now why are they so cute.
user33 THE SONG CHARLESSS ITS SO GOOD
maxverstappen1 photo credits for the last picture?? ☹️
yourusername thanks for capturing such a gorgeous shot maxie, much appreciated 😘
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charles_leclerc to the person who i would dedicate all of my songs to. je t’aime ❤️
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user38 someone put them in a cheesy romantic comedy film right this instance they're too perfect for this world.
user39 RIGHTTT IVE BEEN SAYING THIS
user40 can't tell who's punching more: charles or y/n
user41 she is so stunning i actually can't
user42 the song title 'perfect' is so fitting i mean look at her
yourusername im choosing to ignore the second picture 😘
charles_leclerc but why, it's so cute!!
yourusername you are joking charles.
yourusername love you always and forever 💌
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yourusername thank you sm charlie for the song, it was truly one of the most beautiful things that have ever graced my ears, and i will forever cherish it 💌 this post is an appreciation for you (the last picture will forever be my favorite)
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user43 the way i can hear the last photo 😭
user44 "nothing it was just an inchident"
charles_leclerc the last picture ☹️
yourusername my fav 😊😊
charles_leclerc ❤️❤️
liked by yourusername
user45 FUCKKK IM SO SINGLE RN
user46 NO REALLL IM SO LONELY
maxverstappen1 last pic brings back bad memories 😢
yourusername sorry about that mad max, i'm sure you'll get over it soon. 🫶
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sexbot300 · 9 days
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telling them they have a small dick!
pairing: toji x reader, gojo x reader (separate)
⤷ 18+, MDNI
tw: man-handling, p in v, unprotected sex, power play, cunnilingus, falsetto, huge dick (come on now), mentions of creampie, orgasms, degrading/dirty talk, slight size kink if you squint, text format for gojoe.
a/n: this was so funny to write i cant stop laughing. this was longer than i expected, i will be making a part two with choso, geto, and nanami if asked for. originally it was meant to include them but this is a bit tew long. I actually like this more than anything i’ve ever written before :’) comments r more than welcome thank uuuuu. luv u all xoxo (felt things while writing this, it’s funny that I think it’s my best work)
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Toji ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ Reading your diary
Toji Fushiguro pissed you off. There were no ifs and buts or any way around it. As much as you adored being friends with Megumi and spending time near the stoic guy, coming by his house felt entirely dreadful. Mutual friends frequently visited his abode, leaving and visiting often without a sliver of complaint leaving their diction. ‘Maybe I was truly the problem.’ A thought had snuck up in the crevices of your brain until the mental image of why you didn’t come over as often decided to grace you with his presence. A shiver traveled up north of your spine, straightening yourself out mentally and physically. ‘Nah. That doesn’t sound right. I am NOT the problem.’ 
Toji was everything Megumi was not; cocky, arrogant, and trying to start anything with anyone if they remotely looked in his direction the wrong way. Was he hot? Of course. Would you ever admit it to the bastard? Of course, you wouldn’t. This is why what unfolds before you felt as if some cruel divine punishment, curated by the highest demon in the belly that cradled hell, deciding today would be the day to toy with you.
Closing your phone with a little, ‘Ding!’ Megumi had sent a text earlier entailing that something of your belonging had been left behind. Strangely enough, even he didn’t know what it was, which left a question of perplexity. All he knew was that his dad found it and to alert you about it. 
A sigh that had built up in the depths of your chest left, as you stood behind the mahogany-colored door. Praying that Megumi would just give the item so a beeline can be made as far as legs can sprint. Bringing a hand to the door, tapping with a fist, “Megumi? It’s me.”
With a shuffling heard from inside the house, the sound of the door unlocked and a slow swing revealed no one behind it. Stepping inside carefully and scooping out the area, an eyebrow raised as the familiar setting had no one in eyesight. Closing and locking the door behind, your voice even more confused, “Megumi? Hello? I thought you’d be here.” 
In plain eye view, coming around a corner stood the looming presence of a man that was hard to ignore. Leaning up against the counter behind, a protein shake in hand as his body seems depleted from a workout session. Glistening in sweat, he stood there devastatingly handsome. A simple white tank top clung onto his pectorals, highlighting the ridges of his stone-hard abs while the pump of his presumed workout caused his already massive biceps to look the size of planets. His gray sweats hung low off his slim core. He eyed you up and down as if inspecting every single thing about you.
“Oh yeah. My son's little friend was expecting you here.” He spoke in a casual tone, eyes met yours for a split second before eyeing you down in a carnal way.
Standing in place, mentally making note of killing Megumi for not being the one to give you what was missing from his home. Only leaving you to deal with his father.
He gripped something behind him his fingers grazing what seemed to be a bit lightweight. A light thud of a journal hit the island counter that stood between the pair. Eyes glancing down on what was thrown carelessly, the journal looked all too familiar.
My diary– fuck. All forms of color had drained from the hue of your face, replaced with a crimson flush. Frantically blinking up at the journal, your thoughts blared. ���There’s no way he could’ve read it right?’ Almost sprinting at the piece of media, fingertips yanked it off the island forcibly gluing it to your chest almost to shield it from eyes it doesn’t belong to. 
Eyes darting back and forth frantically searching for relief in such a predicament, in a measly voice, “T-Thank you Mr. Fushiguro, it was very kind of you to give it back. I-I’ll be leaving now.”
He had only watched amused, but it wasn’t stated within his facial expression. If anything his demeanor was calm– his body leaned back at the counter behind him, legs crossed over one another while he wore what seemed to be a completely uninterested face.
“Smart girl. Probably read a lot, huh?” 
Clutching the diary tighter to your chest, almost impossibly close, furrowed eyebrows and a snap of a neck towards his direction. A low, barely audible, “H-huh?” 
“My favorite passage is where the narrator states that, ‘Toji is probably compensating his small dick for huge muscles.’” He chuckled deeply, taking a swing of his protein shake before setting it to the side.
Frozen in place, eyes widened, simply just going quiet. I mean– what could be said? For a moment so intense, all that ran through your mind was complete blankness.
“Kinda find it endearing how the narrator only uses vibrators on her clit because the idea of penetration ‘arouses’ yet ‘scares’ her.”
“Mr. Fushiguro did you r-rea-“ stated in an incredibly shaky voice. Embarrassed, wishing that the ground would do you good bidding and swallow you whole with no hesitation. He still looked calm, ridiculing every aspect of you, his eyes had darkened a bit due to pupil dilation.
Everything felt tense, hot, incredibly warm, a moment of heat transpiring between the two of you as eyes met one another. Except both eyes said a different story. His; was full of something that could only be described that an animal gets knowing that they had successfully captured their prey right where they were needed. Yours; full of complete self-pity, begging to be freed under the gaze of something that will eat you alive and leave no bones.
“Do you think that Toji's character might appreciate the narrator calling him ‘hot but probably hotter with his mouth shut?’” His large arms bulged, and crossed over his chest, enjoying every minute that left you squirming under his condescending gaze. You looked like something had caught your throat and any form of attitude seemed to exist on the lines written in the diary. 
Tilting his head, on cue his hair moved as well, his expression seeming bleak. “Aw, wish I could meet this narrator, express to her how far off she is from the truth. Seems the type to talk a lot but get quiet when confronted.”
With a croak of your throat you managed to speak in a weak voice, “Mr. Fushiguro I am so sor-”
A silky voice met your ears, “Megumi taught me a bit about books. You know what’s funny about narrators sometimes?”
“W-what?” Your voice croaked.
“They’re unreliable.”
“Want to know something else funny?”
Body shifting off the ledge of the counter his bulky body slowly walked, emerald eyes glancing down while you stared up with the most innocent expression. ‘Cute,’ he thought. Staring down, a waft of his natural musky scent hit your nasal passages. He towered right in front of you. His long finger gripped a loose strand of your hair, twirling it mockingly.
He juxtaposed the flustered expression drawn on your face, a grin that stretched from ear to ear, a sly expression painting a look of hunger. “Yeah,” his tongue swiped at his bottom lip, voice dropping a few octaves, “it’s tiny even.”
-
On the checklist of things you hated about Toji, you mentally jotted down that he was a liar. He was a complete liar. 
Knees blown out, nose buried deep into his neatly trimmed pubic hair, lips trying to adhere to a girth that wasn’t friendly to take down, saliva coating your chin and seeping through the cracks of the side of your lips, and mascara smeared down the sides of your cheek. 
Toji was anything but tiny. A huge hand gripped the back of your skull, yanking at the follicles of your hair bouncing your head back and forth on his dick. He had to be 8 inches at least.
Gagging and whimpers filled the air, as you pathetically took down all the length he forced down. Your eyes beaming with tears, while he looked down at yours mockingly. Eyebrows slightly furrowed at the feeling of your tight throat clinging onto his cock like a vice. He smirked staring you down as you struggle to take him in, light pants escaped from his throat as spit slowly exited his mouth, meeting the exposed part of his dick and a part of your face.
“Slow down sweetheart, shit,” a condescending laugh, “I’m not going anywhere.” He hissed in a bit feeling your tongue desperately lap up and down his cock as you took the initiative to get completely lost in the feeling. 
It was all too lewd– he had stopped guiding you by bobbing your head, but kept a firm hold; all you did was suck him as if your life depended on it. His hefty cock felt divine to the tastebuds, weighing heavy down your throat and around your tongue. Frantically allowing your tongue to brush over the large veins running throughout his shaft, your hands jerking off what you could, letting the room fill up with the wet squelches. Moaning onto his cock the vibrations cued a grunt from Toji, sucking his massive tip with a ‘pop!’ He pulled you away, noticing the whine in your face when separated from his dick. He laid it on your face, grin sprawled out. 
“You suck dick good for a girl who only gets off to filthy fantasies about a man who she hates.” 
Panting, studying him while feeling incredibly small under his stare, catching your breath. So perfect, you looked so perfect to him.
“Fuck- I could just cum looking at your face like this,” gripping your hair earning a mewl from your throat, he held onto his dick tapping the tip of your tongue repeatedly, he grinned wider noticing how you desperately leaned into every tap. “Heh, want more huh? Coulda came from your throat, rather fuck it in your little pussy instead. I could tell you were a cock-deprived whore from the start.”
All you could do was blink up at him, gulping at everything he was saying, a new wave of arousal crashing down in your panties. Eyebrows furrowed, keeping steady eye contact with him, he noticed your fucked out expression. 
“Aw? No back-talk? Seem to have a lot to run your mouth about in that little diary, girl. Do you even remember your name? Already trained you well without stretching you out? Or does it make you feel ashamed to be this wet in the house of a man you hate so much? Do you have no shame?”
“I-I’m,” you cleared your hoarse voice swallowing any bit of saliva that didn’t engulf his cock, “not wet.”
He blankly stared down at your face before a loud chuckle eroded from his body, shaking him slightly, “Darling, you’re practically dripping on my kitchen floors. You think I can’t see you clenching your thighs f’me?”
“I-it’s not for y-you, Mr. Fushiguro-“
“Cut the shit, it’s Toji. Stand up.”
Pushing your knees off the position they were in for the longest time, you whined and stumbled while Toji watched amused. Standing on your feet, wobbling, he did the honors of throwing you over his shoulder eliciting a loud gasp as your torso made contact and leaned into his broad shoulders. His fingers lightly grazed your wet folds that leaked through your leggings, causing a slight gasp.
He only chuckled again, walking to his master bedroom. “Not wet, my ass.”
-
You’re not sure what round this was, but being thrown like a rag-doll by a man who easily overpowered every aspect of you was not how you expected this visit to go. He did the honors of prepping you for hours long– edging you and making sure you were on the brink of insanity so taking his cock in would feel much more manageable. At first, you winced taking him in, but the pain subsided once the overwhelming bliss of pleasure overtook all feelings of discomfort.
Toji started by fucking his tip in, rocking back and forth to let you become accustomed slightly. He quickly learned that you were nothing more than a cock-deprived whore.
“T-toji, y-you’re, ah! Breakin’ me!”
“Good.” His face had a wild expression, grinning ear to ear, his long onyx hair clinging to parts of his forehead from sweat while the rest dangled in your face. This man just found his new favorite plaything, he’d be damned to stop this. 
Toji had you mangled in a mating press, feet planted firmly into his mattress, feeling every last bit of dick he could give. Holding your thighs back with large hands, he drilled into your poor cunt, legs hanging off his broad shoulders, the sounds of skin-on-skin vibrating in the room alongside his pants, and your loud moans.
“T-toji, ah! I-I’m sorry, t-too,” a deeper thrust sent a harsh quiver from your lips while his lips dropped low to your ear, “Too! Big! Cant!”
Grunting into your ear, the same smirk plastered on his face. He angled himself even deeper, never stopping the rhythm, slamming his inches into you. All you could do was take it and moan desperately. Head thrown back while eyes rolled back into your skull. 
“Don’t” thrust, “care.” He stated casually in your ear while his voice grew huskier, “Gonna fuck my cum into this lil’ ah, fuck, pussy. Make sure it only learns how to take me in.” He chuckled while he never stopped drilling, he pulled all the way out, leaving only the tip in. Causing you to pant rapidly at the loss of dick, hating how empty yet incredibly full you felt just from his tip alone.
“P-Please, please Toji, please,” fingers dug into his biceps in a fucked out voice, “don’t stop.”
“Aw,” he placed his forehead atop yours, mockingly cooing at the mess you’ve become. “Why should I let you cum?” He whispered now, lips ghosting over your own, “Had a lot to say about me being tiny but your greedy little cunt is both clinging onto me and stretching out. Disgusting girl” 
“I’m so so so so sorry, Toji I promise I’ll be good, I’ll be so good.” Frantically scanning over his face, your body still throbbing from the positions he put you in. Meanwhile, he felt just as warm to the touch, the feeling of sex coated him entirely his composure not faltering.
Wrapping a strong hand around your throat he tightened his grip as he pummeled right into you at once, body jerking forward at the sudden stretch. A loud gasp and moan abruptly left your mouth. Before he could continue pumping into you, his lips still hovering over yours, he had a cocky smile still etched onto his face.
“Sent Megumi off with his little friends, they’re having a sleepover.” His smirk deepened, “Oh don’t worry, you’ll be proving to me how good of a whore you’ll be for me all night.” He scoffed, “Maybe then in your little diary you can write about how good I fuck you.” He pulled out yet again, suddenly feeling his body weight push off your body entirely, making you whine at the loss of sensation in your cunt and body. In an instant, he flipped you over.
Back arched completely, chest pressed down into the sprawled-out duvet, legs spread out ready for him to obliterate all self-dignity you had left, his knee pushed into the bed behind you. Placing his socked foot in the back of your head, he gripped his cockhead dragging it along your puffy folds. Moaning slightly at the feeling of contact as he circled his massive tip around your clit, your eyes fluttered shut again. Drool seeped through the sides of your mouth not caring that this man had stolen all sense of respect you once held for yourself.
“Now,” his voice husky again grunting as his cock slowly teased at your entrance before shoving it in at a tantalizing pace. Staring in awe at your hole as it glistened, hearing your cunt squelch around his thick width, “Hear her for me?” Physically tightening at the words he just said, he let out a slight grunt.
“Mhm,” you let out a mangled noise which caused him to chuckle, feeling his foot press deeper onto the back of your head while your fingers desperately gripped at the sheets below. 
“Maybe,” he pushed himself in, a wild smile on his face while he heard you whimper below, thrashing around still not used to a length this immense. “You should listen to her more often than that dumb little brain of yours princess.” 
Swiftly gripping your wrist, he firmly pinned it back at the small of your back, while rapidly thrusting in and out all at once. “Ah! Ah! T-Toji… So! Hnghhh, G-Good,” moans incredibly muffled as they were pushed into the sheets, cunt gripping onto him every time he moved in and out.
Grunting at the view of your ass clapping back at his pelvic region every time he drilled inside, your walls trying their hardest to take him. He only cackled before whistling, harshly slamming a hand down on your ass letting it recoil with a red mark left behind.
“Should’ve told you I read that stupid diary ages ago…”
═════════════════════
Gojo ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ Failed date
“Ding! New message from ‘toruu.’” The robotic voice announced in your headphones, breaking you from wallowing in your sorrowful haze.
Shuffling in your bed, trying to forget the events that unfolded earlier today, your hand reached out to your nightstand fidgeting around to find your phone. You thought maybe lying down with sad music blaring in your ears would help, but spoiler; it did not. Groaning slightly while your eyes try to adjust to the phone's brightness. A failed date equated to a failed day, lo and behold, your eccentric friend was at your side ready to wipe away any discomfort. 
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Shifting your body upwards, a smile couldn’t help but be formed at his words. At the end of the day, the guy was just that, a guy. There was nothing to stress over. Was there a slight skip in a heartbeat hearing Satoru speak fondly upon you? Yes. But that’s all that there was. Risking a friendship with him wasn’t worth it in the grand scheme. He was appealing in all senses, there was no surprise that girls and boys alike flocked to him like candy. Getting laid wasn’t exactly the objective, but hanging onto things that weren’t feasible was. 
Joking with Satoru came second nature, but having him become defensive over a harmless joke startled you a bit. ‘There’s no way he’s acting like this.’ Nibbling at your bottom lip staring at him laughing in all caps. Is he being defensive? Eyes moving back and forth on the screen questioning what to say next, the conversation continued.
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Snickering to yourself, ‘Oh, so he IS being defensive.’ The thought danced around in your head, rolling eyes at every other thing he texted. “There is no way he is serious,” mumbling to yourself like a madman in the dead of night alone while speaking to nothing but the screen at hand. 
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A light ping indicated that your message was sent, as you glanced at the dots that appeared from his end. Breath slightly hitching at what he stated next.
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Eyes widening, breath caught in throat quickly throwing the phone down face first as your face burnt. Breathing shallow breaths to catch up, time felt a bit still before shaking hands gripped the phone, and slowly brought it into your line of sight. 
My God was Satoru Gojo, huge.
His tip was a light dusty pink, almost made to be kissed, forming a beautiful head that had a bead of translucent precum decorating the slit. The shaft was thick, matching his milky pale tone and fading into an ombre ending right where the tip started. His veins were many, mapped out all around his shaft, up and down, a prominent one stood at the center. It looked heavy, he appeared to be standing up in the picture. A white-happy trail formed alongside the end of his abs and faded around into his neatly groomed bush. You blinked slowly, taking in the image of your best friend’s fat cock. He wasn’t lying. At all. He had to be pushing 8 inches and more. This was the image alone, thumb hovering slightly over the video attachment. Feeling your cunt pulsate slightly and clit growing a bit hard, shuffling some more. 
‘I can't be getting wet over my friend. This is so wrong, he’s probably joking too right? Guys do this all the time with their guy friends. Except, I’m not a guy…’
Biting the bullet and taking the initiative, clicking the video attachment was a wrong, wrong idea. Still, in the same position, his gray sweat pushed down his mid-thigh, the flash was strong in the video. In your ears, everything was heard. Still standing erect, you could hear him lightly chuckle, almost as if he was taunting you in the same room. For some reason, the slick heat flooded more, He brought his large veiny hand, placing it side by side with his cock, holy shit, it was larger than his hand. He spoke your name in a sultry voice one that sent waves crashing down your pussy, a voice that you’ve never heard before. 
“You already know how big my hand is, I mean you’ve held it before. Do with that information what you will.” You could hear the smirk in his voice before plopping on the bed before him, a soft grunt echoed in your ears. So his dick was heavy, it flopped straight on his abs which elicited a laugh on his end. 
“Sorry, I couldn't send you it while lying down. It’s a bit too heavy.” With that, the video ended. Gulping and staring dumbfounded, your fingers anxiously wrote whatever they could, trying to keep any semblance of a friendly demeanor. 
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Sighing while rolling your eyes at his behavior, mentally sighing that he's back acting like the immature soul he’s always been. Guess, it’s time to rely on the good ol’ vibrator to solve this problem. Knowing him he’d probably hang this compliment over your head for eternity and that was that with this conversation, which is why what he stated startled you a bit.
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Staring at the screen once more, feeling a bit anxious about his response. All that could be thought of is if the wrong thing was said to him. He’d be over the moon hearing that his cock is big as fuck, right? Sighing while dropping your shoulders and clicking the side button to shut the phone off, eyes closing once more while the back of your head met the soft headboard. 
“Ding! New message from: ‘toruu.’”
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Eyes widening, the heat still pooling in your lace panties, thanking yourself for another failed date. Within ten minutes the phone was chucked out of hand, racing to get ready for his arrival even though it wasn’t the typical hangout.
Slipping on a lacy, cerulean bra and throwing it on, keeping the same undies on having a feeling that the slick wetness would be favored for you both, fixing your hair, spritzing a gourmand perfume, applying a bubble-gum colored lip gloss, and pulling on a light blue hoodie, tight black spandex shorts, with black house sandals. It wasn’t long before a certain man rang the doorbell.
Rushing to the door while maintaining some form of composure and unlocking it to be met with piercing eyes and a shit-eating grin towering over you. He wore the same sweats in the video and a black hoodie that did very little to hide his massive frame.
“Hi,” he stated in his typical voice, eyes looking over his glasses down at your face, as he put one strong arm over the doorframe. “Hello, ‘Toru…” audibly speaking so only he heard, while a light blush scattered across your face.
“Heard your date got canceled or whatever, what a bummerrrrrrr.” He rolled his eyes exaggerating his disdain due to unexpected plans. “Gonna let me in?” His voice stated in a whisper while studying the curves of your body. 
Slightly nodding, shifting to the side to let the tall figure in, a waft of his cologne hit all senses and shot straight to your core. 
While he walked in, your hand pressed against the doorframe closing it and locking it before a large hand turned you around. Gasping at the sudden feel of his hand around your waist, while the rest of your body was pushed against the door. Staring up at his face, not recognizing the look displayed on his usual happy-go-lucky face, painted a darkened expression of desire. Satoru pressed your chest against the front of his body, pushing you closer by the hand on the back of your waist. Caging you in his embrace, the other hand laid flat behind the door.
Smelling his sweet breath from the various candies he indulged in, the air hit the tip of your nose while his lips were merely inches away from your own. 
“No offense,” his voice silky, smooth, and deeper than usual, “Kinda glad this asshole bailed on you. Wouldn’t know what to do with a woman like you anyways.” His smile deepened while you responded by cupping his soft face in both hands. 
Breath a bit higher than a whisper, lips almost touching his while his grip on your waist felt stronger, “Oh, yeah ‘Toru, and you know what to do?” 
Feeling a vibration from his chest against your frame, as a laugh erupted from him, he stared into your eyes intensely. “Let me kiss your lips and show you. I think you know by now my words match up with my actions.”
Almost on command, both of you smashed your lips into one another savoring the feeling of tasting what you wanted for so long. Mutually moaning slightly upon the impact, Satoru quickly moved his large hands to caress all over your tinier frame. Ass, waist, thighs, hair, neck, his long slender fingers were everywhere, anywhere, every chance he could get to press you impossibly close to him.
Mouth agape, he took it as an opportunity to slip his tongue in, slithering it around your mouth while your tongue circled his own. Hands entangled in his hair, tilting your head, and on cue, he did the same. Tongues squelching and roaming each other's mouths as if you’ve been thirsty and the only cure was one another. His hands finally stop at your ass, giving a light squeeze before carrying you up, wrapping your legs around his torso.
Breaking away faces mimicking a blush on both faces, a string of saliva connecting your lips. Slightly panting as your forehead meets his, he stares deeply into your eyes. “Cute and all,” he says still in a haze, “but those weren’t the lips I was talking about.”
-
Hovering over his torso, while your mouth was stuffed with his huge cock. Hungrily lapping up his dick with your tongue, your hand wrapped around his base in a circular motion going up and down while your mouth struggled slightly to take the entirety of him in. Moans sent vibrations across his huge shaft, he was so big, so so so big. You loved every minute of it, it was evident with the sticky residue of cum that formed on his thighs and pubic hair from the previous rounds you’d gone. Saliva pooled on his dick, to rest on his balls and underneath his thighs. 
It was a mess, “Mhm!” You panted, separating yourself from having his cock buried down your throat but quickly attaching your lips at the head, smearing precum on like a lip product. Lapping the precum up and down the slit, before indulging his length back in. “Sa-Satoru- Ah! S-Stop!” Lips making a ‘pop!’ noise after pulling his dick from your throat, hands still echoing a wet sound as they both rapidly jerked him off.
Gojo laid on his back his face stuffed in your cunt, “Cant, ahhhh, too good,” His voice sounding hoarse. Bringing his head up even further into your slick heat, he licked long strips with his tongue from clit, hole, and ass. Both of his large hands spread your cheeks apart, your discharge soaking the bottom half of his face. He dove in head first, nose pressed directly in your pussy while his mouth harshly sucked at your clit, twirling it around his tongue effortlessly. Years of sucking on candy couldn’t compare to this. Pulling away both hands from your ass, he placed them on the front of your thighs, forcing you to sit on his face with a welp that broke away the string of moans.
Continuing to jerk him off, your eyes crossed while spitting down his length, feeling him twitch slightly under your motion. You mewled, “Mhpmh! Satoruuuuuuu!”
Harshly sucking on it before pulling away, he kissed your clit before dragging his head around in a circular motion licking all around like a madman. He closed his eyes and buried his tongue deep in your walls that tightened and contracted around him. Bobbing his head back and forth, tongue fucking your tiny hole, thumb diligently working in circles on your swollen clit. Slowly feeling your high soon approaching in waves and feeling him twitch even more violently underneath you. 
He moaned deep into your cunt while high-pitched yells escaped your throat, “Oh! Oh! Oooooh! Oh, Satoru! I’m c-cumm- ah!” Soon enough, Satoru’s face was full of liquid when your orgasm arrived. Sticking a tongue out noticing him jerk in your hands, closing your eyes, while cum painting your tongue and face. Swallowing him all while quivering from the impact of cumming all over his face.
For once in your life, this was the most quiet Satoru has ever been. 
Breaking away from your cunt, Satoru took a deep breath, laughing to himself shakily.
“Fuck, I should pay men more often not to date you.”
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st4rrth0ughts · 2 months
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Aventurine being so jealous you have to fuck him stupid. ♣️🎲
tw, cw: creeps looking at your body!! (dw they don't watch you fuck, you just look so pretty, like you are irl <3), dom bot aven to sub bot, breeding, jealous sex, 69 position, mating press (can you tell i like that), riding, reader is aven's bodyguard (I have an obsession with it), calling him a brat, implied consensual somnophillia, overstimulation, womb fucking, clothed sex (reader has pants, aven has shirt), dumbfication, and last of all, marriage talk <33
Its no secret he loves to spoil you. Suits, jewelry, delicacies that he personally gets his hands on, Aventurine has the money for your heart's desire. Earnings from the IPC and from his nightly gambling games allow him to spend it freely on you, as much as you insist it is unnecessary. He doesn't mind it, why spend it on himself when he can spend it on someone and beautiful and adorable as you? But even then, there are those who just cannot take the hint that your his. And sometimes, he needs you to remind him that you'll never, ever leave him.
He's not a easily jealous. Aventurine knows your his. and that he's yours. Anyone with so much as a brain could see that. But this time… he cant hep but wonder. It was just another one of his impulse shopping trips to buy you a new suit to your growing collection. He watches as the curtain of the dressing room just- barely covers you. The shoppers, men and women alike, all stop to watch you take off the outer layer, revealing that pretty lace shirt he knows you love. He's not surprised at the fact that the behind of the shirt reveals your back, showing your toned muscles and those faint scars he traces his fingers over every night. Watching those eyes ogle at you when when he's paying for your clothes, the lustful jealousy in his eyes doesn't go unnoticed by you.
The moment you reach home, he's on you, grunting as he pulls off your suit and shirt, the soft chuckles of pure amusement from you making him glare as he pushes you down, grabbing your belt and throwing it off the bed. Soft pants escaping his throat as he pulls down his pants and underwear, too impatient to take them off completely as he rubs his clit over your cock once its just barely free. Your hand reach out to grab his waist and just start fucking him, but he slaps them away.
"You only touch me when your about to cum , got it?"
Aeons, he's so beautiful when he's being such a bossy brat, it makes your dick harder. That doesn't go unnoticed, as he slams himself onto you, making both of you gasp. His hips move painfully slow, your eyes watching hungrily as his folds swallow your length, how his diamond pupils dilate while he rides you, grunts and moans of 'your mine, only- nfh- i get to ride this- Gnh- pretty cock-!'. Your his. His bodyguard, his handsome lucky charm, his lover behind closed walls. How dare anyone think otherwise, much less lay their eyes on your ethereal body?
The command for you to not lay your hands on him until your about to cum doesn't matter to you. Does the brat think he has control over you? In public, he does, your his bodyguard, of course you follow what he does. But in the bedroom? Behind closed doors, its you who controls him. Grabbing his waist and pulling him off your cock, which makes the gambler whine out as the sudden emptiness, and setting his cunt on your lips, his mouth right beside your cock.
'So greedy…' you think to yourself as our tongue plunges into his folds, lapping at the slick and sucking his clit, while he gags on your length, tip hitting the back of his throat as he whimpers from your ministrations. Pulling away to catch his breath, a sharp shriek escapes his throat when you pinch his clit as punishment, the tip of your tongue prodding that sweet bundle of nerves making his thighs shake as he desperately rub his cunt on your mouth. Although there's the lack of warmth from his mouth on your dick, your not complaining if you get to hear the way Aventurine squeals when he squirts in your waiting mouth.
Pushing your dick into his slick pussy, as he whines and covers his face in embarrassment at the fact that he was supposed to be the one to give you instructions, he was supposed to be the one to give you orders on how to fuck him, not the other way around! But all thoughts fly out of the window the moment your hips snap up, his back arching instantly as he gasps and writhes from how fucking big you are, pretty purple eyes widening as he watches your dick bulges in his belly. You move just a little closer, and he nuzzles against your shoulder blade, soft whines of 'please, fuck me already..!' making the last bit of self control you had snap. He was not going to walk tomorrow.
Pressing his legs to his chest, and plunging your length deep intpo his cunt, ignoring his weak gasps as he scrambles to find purchase, settling to hold your neck for dear life as you fuck him so ahrd into the mattress he's seeing stars, loud wails of 'Nnhh-! Ooh--!! Too deep, too de- Ghk--!!' going ignored as your cock slams into his cervix, his knees pressing flush against his bite and kiss littered chest, the gambler's eyes rolling back as he cums again, hands moving to grasp at your back, eyes rolling back as you fill him, aeons- he can swear to the Amber Lord themselves that he can feel your cum filling him p so nicely. He just couldn't help but beg for more, how cute.
Turning him over onto his stomach, and pressing your body on top of his, his smaller frame being completely trapped down on the bed, his lewd sounds muffled by the pillow as he tried to buck his hips back on your, the new position allowing your cock to push right into his womb, he can just feel your length so, so deep in him, that he had to bite his lips to stop any loud shrieks from escaping him. But you didn't like that. Yanking his hair, forcing his head back and letting those pretty, pornographic cries escape him just made your movements faster. The gambler's pretty pupils blow into hearts, a loud moan escaping him as he creamed all over your cock, head falling back onto the pillow as his eyes closed, cum spilling out of his pussy and a lovely, fucked dumb expression on his face, soft pleas of 'hng…i wan more, love, please? wan you to fill me again…' Well, maybe you could go for a few more rounds before running a bath…
When he comes to, he's in the bath with you, leaning against your muscular body, in warm water with a lovely candlelight ambience. Strange, you never really went so far to make a aftercare bath so… extravagant, as much as you always make it the best for him. Just when he's about to ask you, you beat him to it. As he stares at a beautiful gold ring adorned with a precious aventurine(heh) gem in the middle that you were holding out in front of him shyly, as the gambler glances back teary eyed a he watched you, his normally stoic bodyguard, stammer over your words. You don't even have to finish, he's already holding you close, grinning like a idiot as he agreed to your proposal. You were finally his, and he was finally yours.
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triptuckers · 4 months
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on the bottom of the lake - percy jackson
Request: yes! "I love ur writing!! could you write something w Percy helping anxious reader?? I’ve been super stressed lately and idk this show is keeping me sane lmao" Pairing:  Percy Jackson x reader Summary:  you've been stressed and percy knows the perfect way to help you relax Warnings:  reader being stressed, some swearing, anxiety Word count:  917 A/N: I drew so many pjo characters yesterday I cant wait to share them when I'm done with them :) thanks for your request, enjoy!
you don't know if you've ever felt like this. sure, you'd been stressed before. but now you're losing sleep over it. and not a few hours, just nights without zero sleep at all.
you've got a big project you need to do for school over the summer. if you call, it'll be your last strike and you'd be expelled. like it was your fault you had trouble reading and concentrating.
when you arrived at camp half-blood at the start of summer, you thought some of your worries would go away.
the opposite happened.
you saw everyone around you having a good time. they didn't have to worry about some project. they slept peacefully from night til morning.
even if you can't work on your project, you're constantly thinking about it. your mind never rests.
percy noticed you've been stressed and tries to talk to you about it, but you always shut him down. it's enough to think about it all the time, let alone talk about it.
after a couple of days, percy tries again. he really wants to help you, but he don't know why.
'hey, y/n?' says percy.
'what's up?' you say, looking up at him. you're supposed to help your cabin prepare for tonight's bonfire, but so far you're not helping much.
'about your project-'
'gods, will you leave it alone, percy!' you burst out. 'I think about that fucking project all day don't you start about it as well!'
percy takes a step back and you realise it's because of you.
'I'm sorry! sorry!' you say, getting up and grabbing one of his hands. 'I'm so sorry I didn't mean it.'
you feel tears slowly starting to fall.
'hey, it's okay.' says percy softly. he reaches up and brushes a tear from your cheek. 'want to go to the lake for a while?'
you nod. percy leads you to the lake. you close your eyes and let the breeze calm you down. but still the project is on your mind. if you go to your cabin now, you could get some work done.
percy tugs on your hand and you open your eyes to look at him.
'get in.' he says, nodding his head toward the lake.
'now?'
percy nods.
'percy, I don't want to go swimming right now.'
'do you trust me?'
'of course.'
'then get in.'
you sigh. what did you have to lose? maybe a swim would be nice.
'let me get my bathing suit.' you say.
'nope.' says percy, pulling you by your hand as he jumps in the lake. before you can stop him, you're pulled forward by his momentum. seconds later, the water surrounds you.
you want to yell at him for getting your clothes soaked, but you remember you're under water. once you get your bearings, you open your eyes, letting them get accustomed to the water.
you try to swim to the surface, but percy still holds on to your hand and pulls you further down, all the way to the bottom of the lake.
good for him, he's a poseidon kid. you aren't. you can't breathe underwater. surely percy knows that right?
he lets go of you hands and swims to the bottom of the lake.
you're going to have to go up for air soon.
you can see percy sitting down on the ocean floor, gesturing at you to join him. you squint your eyes. it looks like the water is less murky down there.
you let yourself sink down to percy's level. the water is less murky here because there is no water here.
'I didn't know you could do this.' you say, looking around the air bubble you're in.
'pretty cool, right?' says percy, smiling proudly.
'why are we here?'
'I mostly come here when I need to be alone. if you sit here in silence for a while, the fish will come up to you. and I always thought the waves are soothing to look at from down here.'
you look up and watch the waves for a while. sunlight pours through the water, giving it a soft glow.
you move closer to percy and rest your head on his shoulder.
the two of you sit there for a while. and percy was right. after some time, fish start to swim around your bubble.
percy tells you about the lake and the animals and after a while even two water nymphs come to say hello. percy knows them and introduces you to them.
you sit there for so long you lose track of time. it's getting late, so you decide to swim up to the surface.
normally you would have been soaked, but thanks to percy you're warm and dry.
you stifle a yawn as percy takes your hand in his and starts walking towards the cabins.
'thank you, that was nice.' you say.
'one of the bonuses of dating a poseidon kid.' says percy, lightly squeezing your hand.
he notices you hadn't talked about your project at all when you were in the lake. and you look genuinely tired. he hopes you can get at least one good nights sleep tonight.
'want to stay at my cabin tonight?' he says.
you smile and nod. 'yeah I'd like that.'
the two of you head to percy's cabin to get some sleep. and percy had been right, you got a good night of uninterrupted sleep. you dreamt of nothing but the comfort of the lake, and percy's presence next to you.
A/N:If you want to request something, make sure to read my house rulesHere’s the list of characters I write for. Everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. Please don’t repost my work, as I spend much time and effort on it!! Thank you for reading! Much love, Marit
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austinsastrology8991 · 10 months
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> Ascendant Aspects < How you Appear to be, and how your treated based off your appearances > why you look like a clown without makeup
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Ascendant aspecting Sun - I like your smile. Did you put it on for me, or for yourself? yes your charismatic, yes we noticed why your so confident, yes your literally the greatest person do you really need us to shower you in affection all the fkn time? your extra but too many toppings ruin a good pizza. your the embodiment of the cheesy smile from that cat in alice in wonderland. main character energy for sure you get the attention and you know how to use it Ascendant Aspecting moon - 🌚 < dont they look like that.? idk but you guys look like someone you want to grab the cheeks of and treat like a baby, your like a sugar glider. but we know your emotional so we have to be careful with how we grab your cheeks 👀 please stop crying its just a joke > also; big ass eyes. you are so sweet that everyone just wants to take you home and feed you till you become so obese you cant leave Ascendant Aspecting Mercury - the most devilish and cheeky smile all at once. they look like a kid about to do something bad, or have just been caught doing something bad and are now trying to explain why they had to do that dumbassery. but no matter how much you explain yourself, we will still question you because its funny watching you come up with explanations. you give me the vibe of any character from cartoon network or nickledoen - timmy turner, southpark, phineas and ferb, ed edd and eddy, or fkn bart simpson, you act like a cartoon yes.
Ascendant Aspecting Venus - I dont normally do this but whats ur number? is what your used to hearing presumably. and its not necessarily because your attractive... okay you are, you can stop pouting now. but its because you know how to get attention and you clearly love getting it. but they act so superficial, and oblivious sometimes... like they purposrfully look away just so its easier for you to look at them, 💀 then they look back playfully and it gets you in the feels. remind me of doctor who's bitches (any of them) they all act the same idc what you say
Ascendant Aspecting Mars - so pissed off lol but its hot. they are fierce > if they want something they are going to get it, and even the mere consideration of negotiating what they want will just get them more mad. which makes them more attractive? idk people love their ferocity, and as much as people say they don't like aggressive types, they don't ever get in their way when they pissed off (ik because im hot head) your basically a hornet > and no one gonna fight a hornet without the proper precautions Ascendant aspecting Jupiter - Yall are excellent at impressions and being impressionable, idk how you do it so well. You just act normal but then pull off this funny shit and return back to normal like its nothing. you guys perfected just being, and this energy makes people want to be around you. Your like a firework, the explosion is awesome, but when it goes away your like damn that was awesome wish it stayed; but thats what makes it so good, because we never know when its coming, and when its gone we want it back lol Ascendant Aspecting Saturn - batman without the mask sucks. thats you. batman without the mask.... why so serious???? > "because life shouldnt be taking for granted and fuckery aint apart of my Repertoire" - is some whack ass shit yall would say. you have great dignity, but people get insecure around you because your on top of your shit. oh and you tell people to get on top of their shit all the fkn time lol. > your like a crow, you look like one and act like one. - Side note- one time i had a stand off with a crow: I was chilling at home and i was on top of these tile blocks, then this crow came along. I tried to scare him, by like staunching him just a bit. but he responded by gripping the tree branch he was perched on, by twisting his claw foot; and he did it with so much ferocity it made this bone cracking noise (from the strength of his grip gripping the tree) and suddenly i was intimated.... by a fkn crow. okay moving on
Ascendant Aspecting Uranus - how did you even become like that. no one really understands why you act the way you do, you do some really eccentric things which are eye grabbing but also disturbing the more you think about it. your like a sword fish. theres probably more effective ways to kill fish, but i mean a sword works, we are just wondering how you attached a sword to your face. also try to calm down, you doing so much and acting so bizarre that im actually more worried about you, even though im laughing my ass off. Ascendant Aspecting Neptune - your like a mirror of all that i ever could want in a person, and this mysterious allure you so easily pull off is truly enchanting. its like being around you makes it feel as if reality can so easily be readjusted into what i would like it to be. but this quality of urs is addicting, and no wonder people project onto you. but you cant even blame them, you literally shapeshift into whatever you want, and typically you like to show it off. your like a chameleon. or a axolotl Ascendant Aspecting Pluto - you scare people easily lol. your a spider. but spiders are sexy.... look at the BUNDA. okay but those teeth yeesh, have you ever seen a spider like lick its lips, bro its fkn scary. theres a reason arachnophobia is the most popular phobia and its because spiders are fucked. and yall are fucked. you move like a spider, and i swear to god you smile like one too lol. but people low key wanna be eaten by a spider..... so go ahead choose yo prey you fkn creepy crawler
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st6rrrs · 2 months
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TRATIOR || rafe cameron x fem reader
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summary: the pogues find out yn's secret
warnings: cursing, arguing, soft rafe!!!, fluff?
a/n: idk if i should keep this into to a one shot or make a story!!!!
˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ —— ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ —— ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ —— ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ —— ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ —— ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗
you and rafe were in his bed talking when you realized what time it was, 5:29pm
"Shit rafe i gotta go" you said
you jumped off of the bed and quickly put your clothes on
"where are you going?" he asked getting off the bed also
"i gotta go to the chateau to meet up with the pogues"
he groaned.
you grab your backpack and head to the door but before you could open it rafe got in front of you.
"do you have to leave" rafe whines
"yes rafe, i'll be back in a couple of hours" you say
"fine" he groans again but louder this time, he walks back to the bed laying on it getting his phone out, you roll your eyes and exit the room.
˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ —— ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ —— ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ —— ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ —— ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ —— ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗
you get on your bike and start pedaling towards the cut.
you and rafe have been dating for a couple of months now but you guys haven't told anyone yet. if the pogues find out that you and rafe have been dating they would be PISSED
thats one of the reasons you dont wanna go public, rafe honestly doesn't give a shit if anyone finds out because he will still love you and you would still love him.
you arrive at the chateau and you see the pogues on the front porch, Sarah was sitting next to john b? why was Sarah here?
kie disliked Sarah for as long as you can remember. When kie and Sarah were friends Sarah threw this party without inviting kie and kie got mad and called the cops.
"you know we were all extremely comfortable until you brought her."
you hear kie say as you approach them
"stop talking about me like im not here" Sarah says
"then leave."
"umm whats happening?" you mouth to pope and jj passing kie, Sarah, and john b them to busy arguing to notice you. You walk over to sit in between jj and pope.
"john b is banging Sarah" jj says while laughing
"WHAT" you almost yell
"oh look y/n is here, why dont we ask her opinion is on this" kie says
"please don't" you whine "but if im being honest i dont think its a good idea"
Sarah's scoffs
"oh you can talk" she says looking at you
"what?" you laugh
"like you aren't fucking my brother" she says rolling her eyes and looking away
you immediately go pale.
"is that true y/n?" kie ask you in disbelief
you don't answer her
jj gets up from beside you and just looks at you in disbelief. you look over at pope his hand on his forehead and he's shaking his head disappointed.
"you cant be fucking serious!" jj yells at you "he beat up pope with a golf club and then jumped us with topper and kelce"
jj has had a crush on you ever since you guys were 14 but you didn't feel the same way. Everyone always shipped you guys together but you wouldn't force yourself to date someone you didn't like You only liked jj as a friend but he never really listened to you.
"i-i-im sorry!! but he's different with me" you try to explain to them
"hes just gonna use you like he does every other girl on this island" Sarah says
"no he-" but before you could finish your sentence pope interrupted you
"just leave y/n." he said annoyed not looking at you
"g-guys please!"
"JUST FUCKING LEAVE JEEZ!" jj yells at you, you have never seen him this angry in the whole 7 years you knew him.
tears rolled down your cheeks as you looked at him. He had no remorse for what he said he was very angry and you could understand why but none of them even gave you a chance to explain yourself. You quickly grabbed your bag pack and left without looking back.
"AND DONT BOTHER COMING BACK EITHER! HAVE FUN WITH YOUR KOOKY BOYFRIEND" jj yelled before you could leave
˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ —— ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ —— ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ —— ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ —— ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ —— ˗ˋ ୨୧ ' -
you open the front door to the camerons household, rafe gave you the key when you guys started dating. the house was so quite and cold, you walk up the stairs to rafe room still sobbing.
you open his room door and hes sleep on his bed, it was sometime pass 7 you didn't want to wake him and you were exhausted yourself so you just laid next to him and got under the covers still sobbing quietly. you couldn't believe that jj would ever say that too you, it wasn't like him
you hear rafe groan awake
"y/n is that you" he says in his sleepy voice
"yea"
"are you crying?"
"im fine go back to sleep rafe."
"no.,whats wrong come here" he gestured so you could lay on his chest
you gave in and sobbed in his chest for a while until you fell asleep.
part 2?
this might be bad but i tried 😪 👍🏻
taglist:
@bbsxsaa @xxbutdaddyilovehimxx @drewstarkeyslut @stvrkey. @blondbrat @sevenwivesofrafecameron @tracymbcm
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bkgml · 10 months
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sick day
katsuki woke up to the sound of his alarm.
huffing, he rolls over to turn it off.
“alright. come on baby, we needa get up.” he says, wrapping his arms around you and squeezing tight.
“mmmmmph. noooo.” you whine, sleepily.
he laughs lightly, shoving his face in your hair.
“i know. i know. but we’re gonna be late.” he coos.
you squirm a little in frustration.
“please. i need 5 minutes.” you whine.
he sighs turning you to face him.
“fine. but only 5.” he relents, throwing the sheets off himself.
“nooooo. stay with me.” you pout.
“i’ll see you in 5 minutes.” he replies sternly.
he spends his five minutes getting dressed then returns to his bed.
“it’s been 5 minutes, sweet girl. time to wake up.” he says, pecking your lips.
he watches your brows furrow deeply and you feel like you could cry.
“i need to sleep katsu. i cant.” you say and your voice breaks.
his eyes widen at your croaky voice.
“hey. hey. what’s wrong, are you cryin?” he whispers, brushing your hair out of your face.
“oh.” he says as the realization clicks in.
you peel your eyes open, trying to snuggle into his hand.
“what?” you croak out.
his eyes soften and he kisses your forehead.
“you have a fever.” he says.
“explains why i feel so shitty.”
he drags his thumb over your cheek, caressing your face gently.
“stay in bed. i’ll tell aizawa you can’t be in class.” he says lowly.
you whine and he laughs as he feels your hands weave themselves around his neck.
“you won’t stay with me?” you say with watery eyes.
he leans in to press his forehead against yours.
“you know i can’t. i’ll go downstairs and get you some medicine, kay?” he says in an attempt to soothe you.
“be fast.” you whisper and he chuckles before pulling away.
“so clingy when you’re sick.”
when he returns from getting you medicine you’re fast asleep once again.
he drags his hands down your arms before landing on your waist and caressing your sides.
“wake up.” he says against your cheek.
you whimper, opening your eyes the smallest bit to see him sitting on the edge of the bed.
“hi.” you mumble.
“hi.” he coos, exaggerating his voice to sound sickly sweet.
you grab his hand from off your waist and hold it close.
“got you medicine, open up.” he says while grabbing the medicine with his free hand.
you open and he pulls you up slightly, placing the pill in your mouth.
next he grabs the water he brought you and places it to your lips, watching you sip at it.
“good girl. lay down now, okay? see you soon.” he mumbles kissing your forehead and standing from his spot on the bed.
“bye suki.” you smile before rolling over and hugging one of his his pillows close to your chest.
he finishes getting ready before leaving his room and walking alongside kirishima to class.
“hey man! where’s yn?” kirishima greets him, giving him a high five.
“sick in bed.” katsuki grumbles.
“wow. how are you ever gonna get through the day without her?” kaminari pipes in to tease katsuki.
“shut the fuck up, at least i pull.” katsuki grumbles.
kaminaris jaw drops in shock and offence.
“damn. way harsh.” kirishima says, trying not to let his laugh slip through.
the three of them continue to bicker as they walk into class.
“hey, aizawa!” kaminari cheers to his teacher.
aizawa grumbles in response, too tired to respond.
kaminari and kirishima go to take their seats while katsuki stops at aizawas desk.
“what.” he groans.
katsuki huffs, annoyed.
“yns not coming today.” he replies.
aizawa raised a brow in question.
“why?” he frowns, untrusting.
“she’s sick.” katsuki answers, and starts to walk over to his desk, not caring enough about his response.
aizawa huffs at his rudeness but starts to teach the class anyway.
a couple periods go by without you and katsuki’s trying to keep his cool. he knows you need your rest but he misses you.
the period before lunch is when you call.
he steps outside to take it, despite aizawas protests.
“hey, what’s wrong?” he asks, remembering telling you to only call for emergencies.
“kats- katsuki.” you say through your sobs.
“hey baby. what’s going on?” he says, trying to keep you calm.
“it hurts. it hurts so bad i cant-” you whisper through groans of pain.
“what hurts? what do you need?”
“my stomach. i threw up and i think there’s more. i need you. need you so bad.” you whine, more sobs following.
“i know it hurts, sweetness. can you wait until lunch?” he asks, tone still soothing.
you whine and whimper through sobs and gasps.
“i cant. i cant do it. i need you so bad, please katsu.” you beg, clutching your stomach.
“i’m on my way, baby. just try to breathe through it, okay? cryings only makin it worse.” he says and you agree before ending the call.
he walks back into class and aizawas frowning, arms crossed over his chest.
he grabs his bag and heads out the class without speaking, aizawa yelling behind him.
“i don’t get paid enough for this.” he grumbles, pinching the bridge of his nose.
katsuki speed walks to his dorm, opening his door to see that you’re not in bed.
“yn??” he calls out before hearing the sounds of you throwing up.
heading into his bathroom he finds you curled up in a ball on the cool floor, hand reaching to flush the toilet.
you have tears streaming down your face rapidly, gasping for air and shaking.
“oh baby.” he frowns.
you turn your head towards him shakily, tears starting to stream down your face once more.
he watches your hand reaching towards him through trembles.
sitting next to you on the floor of his bathroom he opens his arms, taking your outstretched hand.
you whimper, crawling towards him onto his lap.
feeling his hands come up under your shirt to draw shapes on your back you release a deep exhale.
“what happened? hm?” he mumbles in your ear, pressing a kiss to your temple.
you nuzzle your face in his neck and shrug before bringing your head back up to look at him.
his eyes soften at your teary ones.
“i hate this.” you frown, pout on your lips.
he hums, lifting his hand to brush across your face and tuck a piece of hair behind your ear.
you kiss his open palm before laying your head on his chest.
“can we go have a nap?” you ask timidly.
he doesnt respond but stands with you still in his arms.
as the two of you lay down together he whispers praise and soothing affirmations to calm you.
his hands caressing your thighs and back, sometimes coming up to massage your shoulders lightly.
“mmmm love you.”you mumble sleepily.
“love you, sweet girl.”
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chososlittlecrybaby · 10 months
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HASHIRAS REACT TO YOU BEING A BRAT !!
Scenario: You and them were training and you couldn’t find an opening to strike them leaving them multiple chances to strike you and you got so fed up and you threw your wooden sword on the floor and started shouting at them letting your anger issues get the best of you.
(Went over board with my baby obanai 💔)
NOT proof read.
𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 ✧
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GYOMEI HIMEJIMA
Gyomei ‘looked’ at you in confusion trying to figure out why you were acting like this. He tried his best to calm you down, saying things like— “Calm down, Im sorry. I didn’t realize how hard I was being on you.” or “This behavior is really unnecessary. Calm down.” Either way you had a snarky remark.
“I don’t fucking care, how about you shut the fuck and let me think for a second.” You said , pacing around. His eyebrows furrowed, his anger slowly rising trying to be patient with you.
Unexpectedly, Gyomei grabbed your upper arm and faced you to him. Your face hitting his chest as he lowered himself to your level. Not being able to look at you in the eyes directly because he’s blind. “Breathe.” Is all he said. You took deep breaths trying to calm down.
Once you finally calm down and lean into his touch you whispered an apology. “Sorry master Gyomei.” All his anger suddenly evaporating as he felt your breathing even out. “Its okay.”
You felt his hands travel down to your waist and grip it. “Although, that type if behavior comes with consequences.” He said, voice deepening. You gulped. Scared of what he had in store for you.
TOMIOKA GIYUU
He just stared at you. He was never good when it came to handling people’s emotions. “It’s never that serious.. Y/N calm down.” You heard him faintly say. His voice low. “Don’t you ever, and I mean ever tell me shits not that serious.” You say, angrily. Walking up to him, dangerously close. “I suggest you back up if you know what good for you.” He said. Locking eyes with yours.
You scoffed, getting closer than you already were if that was even possible. Giyuu felt like you were testing his patience, he felt as if you thought he couldn’t touch you.
He gripped your face, squishing your cheeks together. “Watch who you’re talking to Y/N. You’re acting like a child like every other day I don’t have you laid up in my mansion unable to move.” Giyuu said, his mouth so close to your ear.
“ m’sorry..” You said, closing your eyes out of embarrassment. “gimmie a kiss baby.” He said, pulling away from your ear, giving you the sloppiest kiss ever.
SHINOBU KOUCHO
“Oh my, whats the matter?” She asked, taking a few steps back. “This shit is frustrating! I cant get a hit, im getting fucking mad.” You yelled, kicking the dirt. “Hey its okay really.” She gave you a weak smile. “Its not, I-its not!” You said, tears began to fall. “Y-You’re so mean shinobu! “ You yelled, attempting to slap her arm.
She stopped the slap by grabbing your wrist, applying pressure, making you wince. “Calm down. You should know better than to hit a hashira let alone your trainer.” She said, eyes piercing through you.
“sorry master koucho..”. you said weakly, before she let go of your wrist. “thought so.”
MITSURI KANROJI
She didn’t know what to do, she was confused and panicking. She tried her best to calm you down. “Im sorry! Im sorry!” she said, hugging you.
You calmed down and melted into her touch. her fingers caressing your arms. “you have to try okay my love? You can’t expect to just be able to land a hit on me without training.” she said, her voice soft and smooth. She calmed you down so fast as if this was a everyday occurrence.
MUICHIRO TOKITO
He stared at you blankly. just letting your tantrum run through. He had no idea why you were acting like this and didn’t really want to know.
“Pick your sword back up and stop procrastinating and come on.” He said. Your blood started to boil. He was making you angry. “Im not going to put up with your temper tantrums. So come on” He said once more. He was starting to get mad.
“Im not! Im going to quit for today.” You raised your voice. “No you’re not come on.” His voice starting to rise. You turn back and said something along the lines of, “im not gonna sit here and have you throw me on the floor for fun muichiro. You making me mad.” You started moving your hands when you were talking.
“Does it look like I care? stop acting like a child and grow up!” He yelled, which took you back.
“excuse me?” You said, wanting him to repeat what he said.
welp in the end the two of you bickered until the sun set.
SANEMI SHINAZUGAWA
He got angry before you could even get angry. “You could’ve hit me right there. why are you so slow?!” He yelled in your face. You put your hand on his chest and pushed him away. “Boy back the hell up!” You said.
He was took back by the base in your voice, glaring at you. “Watch who you talking to.” He said, gripping your upper arm. “OW NIGGA!” You yelled, hitting him trying to get the grip to let up.
“quit all that fussin.” He said,pulling you closer. “We are going to try again, and this time you better knock me in my head.” He said , being dead serious “Yes sir.” You rolled your eyes. He snapped his neck towards you and gave you a look immediately shutting you up.
OBANAI IGURO
“Shut the hell up with that whining shit. You know I don’t like that.” He hissed. “b-but master! I can’t do it!”You whined. He always felt sorry for you when you couldn’t get something down and you’d stress about it.
“What did I just tell you?” He said, eyes slanting a little. Earlier today Tengen told him that he was babying you too much and now he can finally see that.
“You’re going to keep trying until you get it right. You’re so damn spoiled, I see what Tengens talking about.” He said from across the field. You got offended wanting to say something back but Obanai knew you better than yourself.
“I dont want to hear you saying anything. Come at me again.” He said. You refused. Not moving a muscle. Why should you have to listen to him? “No.” You said, sweat starting to form. “You’re literally shaking. Im not going to hurt you.” He said once again, but you didnt budge. “Go talk about me to Tengen I can train myself.
“Thats what youre mad about?” Obanai has venom in his voice. In a blink of an eye he was right in front of you. A hand was wrapped around your throat. “Lose the fucking attitude.” He whispered. “I hate when you whine about stupid shit. If I tell you to do something then you do it.” He continued. “Isn’t that right mama?” He looked at you. “Y-yes iguro.” You hate when he had full control over you but you loved it so much.
“Get your shit together and come on ‘for I fuck you outside.”
“yes master iguro.”
RENGOKU KYOJURO
Like Mitsuri, he started panicking. “Okay okay! I realized this is way beyond your level lets start slow!” sweat coming down his face.
“NO! I wanna do it till i get it right. Stop treating me like a baby!” You yelled and picked your wooden sword back up.
“Well you are getting angry so maybe stop!” He said, still keeping his cheerful expression. Your rolled your eyes and got into stance knowing that your attitude was going to get nowhere with him.
TENGEN UZUI
“well that’s really unflashy.” He said, one hand on his hip. “Will you shut up?” You said, voice very low. “What was that? Speak up. I couldn’t quite catch that.” He said, sarcastically. “I said can you shut up?” You said louder, making sure he heard you.
“Hey you know thats kind of rude for someone who keeps falling on their ass.” Tengen said. “Maybe if you stop fighting me like I was a damn demon then maybe i wouldnt be falling on my ass all the time? I dont know just a thought.” You said. “Pick up your sword and stop being a baby.” He said, smile plastered on his face.
You grabbed your sword coming at him with full force, faster than before catching him completely off guard. He grabbed both of your arms and pinned them behind your back. “You need to calm down” He said, voice laced with shock and slight anger.
You rolled your eyes knowing that he won’t be nice with you anymore while training.
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c3berus · 4 months
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it wasn’t real. he never really cared for you. god, did it hurt to hear but it was the truth. your ‘boyfriend’ had been using you for months, you didn’t want to believe it. but one look into his ice dulled eyes and you knew he was serious. he had told you what his purpose was in your life, his ultimate goal. he was assigned to bait you in, catch you on a hook and reel you out. and that he did..
“your eyes..they can be so cruel” you croaked out, words sounding like they cut your tounge on the way out your mouth. you shook your head in silent denial. “so this was your plan the entire time ‘ey? infiltrate from the inside? a classic.”
“Its just business, thought you’d understand” he shrugged carelessly. you scoffed, betrayal settling deep within you.
you nodded, a bitter smile overtaking your face, a pained one. you hated to admit it but, you loved him. you are in love with him, but one of you weren’t going to walk away tonight, you knew it.
your thoughts were finalized with the sound of his gun being set on you. your eyes met his once again surprisingly, he had collected a few tears. “‘M sorry, i really, really am b-“
“i gave you everything i had..” you interrupted him, anger starting to seep through you. in one quick breath, you had your gun planted dead between his eyes. easy kill. “should’ve known it was to good to be tru- no, i shouldve acted on my suspicions sooner” confusion and shock painted johnny’s face. your pained smile became one of ease.
“what?..” he whispered.
“I figured your plan a good few months back, had some necks stepped on, some information spilled and soon i knew exactly who you were, well- work for” you spoke nodding your head to his not-very-well-hidden tags. he fixed his holding on his gun, finger resting on the trigger.
“you knew, and you still did nothing to prevent this? w-why..” ‘soap’ asked.
“because this was inevitable, either way, we’d be here” you laughed, gesturing around you two. Johnny grew tense.
“you’ve been lying to me for months” he barked at you. you wanted to croak out the loudest laugh you could manage. you have been lying? god, he’s pathetic.
“no…you dont get to feel betrayed, wasnt that your plan anyway? your pathetic, really” you muttered to him. seemingly growing sick of his own anger, he tightened his hold of his gun.
“you have to die, i have to kill you” he glared, tears brimming his waterline. you exhaled shakily, thinking about what you wanted to say next.
“do as you wish, but i know the truth about you johnny. the truth that you wont ever go and report to your forcemates” you spoke, putting your gun down and leaving yourself vulnerable.
“you know nothing, shut up”
but you do..
“but i do, i know that you couldve killed me way before all of this. i know that no matter how much you deny it, you are and will forever be in love with me. there some things you just cant deny even to yourself johnny.” he slowly started to shake his head no, trying to block your words out for his heart.
“shut up” he muttered.
“i know that once you finish the job youll go back to them— shut. up. — and youll pretend that your heart isnt heavy, that you — stop talking. —felt nothing, that this was just another day in the workplace” you laughed bitterly ignoring his words. “and i know, that your feelings were real at a point, because if i know anything about you johnny, its that you’re a lot of things, but an emotionless man?..you’re not that.”
“SHUT UP, STOP TALKING, IM GOING TO KILL YOU” he wailed, panicking, taking multiple steps towards you until his gun rested right in between your eyebrows.
“there it is.. you’re realizing that im right arent you, that at least one of us can be truthful? right?” you were gambling with a life you’d already been set to lose. time to take the final dice roll. “say it, say you never loved me..that everything you’ve ever told me was scripted”
silence..
“say it”
“i-“
BANG!
a gun sounded off, but it wasn’t johnny’s at all..blood shot out your mouth, coating johnny’s face. before he could fully comprehend what happened, a voice cut through his ringing ears.
“target kia” ghost spoke into his comms approaching him as your body fell. “lets go, the jobs done, good work keeping him distracted” ghost finished patting his shoulder before walking off.
as ghost rounded the corner, into another room johnny supposed, two tears fell. one not belonging to the same person. blinking away the tears that threatened to break him, soap hurriedly ripped your dog tags off. he quickly pulled them onto him self, before taking one last look at you, heart shattering.
a tear, a tear had treailed down your face. upon further inspection, he looked down at your discarded gun, it had been emptied. he realized two things, that you were never going to kill him at all, and that you were in fact right.
johnny’s heart was heavy. johnny felt everything. and today wasn’t a regular day in the workplace, he had lost the love of his life. and he would never forgive himself for it. finally managing to drag him self out of the room, away from you, he felt as if the whole world had gone silent. from that day on, johnny swore to keep living, not because of you, but for you..
because the truth was..
johnny wasn’t an emotionless man, but man who wanted another so desperately that he swore to himself that they would meet in another lifetime.
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THEEEEEE END, did we like the angst? anyone want and alternative ending? - s.
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You'll Remember You Belong To Me
Loving and leaving Daemon were the two best things you ever did in your life. He disagrees with the latter, however, and is convinced you'll come back.
Mafia!Daemon Targaryen x Estranged!Reader | 1k+ | cw: fem!reader, modern au, toxic!Daemon, mom!reader, exes trope, manipulation, typos, etc.
A/N: HI everyone. it's been so long since I've written anything ): I JUST CANT WRITE HUHUH but inspiration struck me so im running with it!! this is inspired by You'll Be Back from Hamilton so I suggest you give it a listen! Also it's kinda fucked up so read dis with care!!!!
Tagging: @pinksirensong @aralezinspace @sloanexx @delicious-xx @deniixlovezelda @targaryenmoony @risefallrise @slavyanskiyahui @thebullship @sa3losa
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"Papa!" a hushed but excited voice calls.
Daemon grins and gets down on one knee. The little boy with burning white hair runs towards his papa's open arms and jumps into them.
Daemon embraces and kisses his son. He then throws him over his shoulder as he stands, making him giggle. The man asks as he head over to the open door, "where's mummy?"
"Cooking with Vivi."
"Oh," Daemon walks inside and takes his shoes off, "do you and Visenya help mummy cook?"
The boy cheers, way too loudly to his father's taste, "YES!"
Daemon immediately hushes the boy and sets him down. The boy is red in the face and giggling. Daemon gives him a lopsided smile and brushes his bangs out of his face, "remember what I told you, lovie? About keepin' a low profile."
The boy nods, "it's our secret mission," he raises a finger to his lips, "a surprise for mummy!"
Daemon chuckles, "very good, Baelon."
Baelon grins from ear to ear.
"Now, before we surprise mummy, tell me where you put the phone I gave you."
"I hid it underneath my toy box! Mummy never looks there."
Daemon pinches his son's cheeks, "good boy."
Baelon giggles under his breath.
"Remember not to let your mother catch you when I call again, okay?"
He nods.
"Right," Daemon stands, "you can go tell mummy daddy's home now."
With that, Baelon runs off and practically busts a lung screaming, "PAPA'S HERE!"
Daemon follows the child, and hears a high pitched squeal from the kitchen. Soon enough, his beloved Visenya is running towards him, "PAAAPPPAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"
Daemon scoops up the little girl in his arms and covers her face with kisses, "ah, my baby girl."
He twirls the girl around and after a 360, he is met with a deathly glare. Daemon smirks, "hello, baby girl."
"I am not your baby girl," you snap as you march towards him. You mutter under a groan, "and you're not supposed to be here."
Visenya tightens her arms around her father's neck. At a point, her blonde hair looks like it was Daemon's. He blows a raspberry onto her neck, his eyes on you the entire time, "my place is where my family is."
It takes everything in you not to explode, but you don't; you'd never do that in front of your kids.
Daemon knew that well.
That didn't stop you speaking your mind though, "this is from the man that uprooted our life in King's Landing because of a business plan gone wrong."
That makes Daemon tick. He puts down Visenya, much to her displeasure. The girl claws at Daemon's jeans, wanting to be in the arms of her father again but is ultimately ignored. "You knew what you were getting into when you married me."
"That's why I know better than to let the man I once loved conceal, lie, and cheat on me."
Your words really sink into him when you pick up Visenya when she burst into tears. Of course, she wanted nothing to do with you and so desperately clawed out to him, but the image was really sobering.
At least for a moment.
"Give her to me," Daemon says.
You glare at him and mouth threats laced with curse words.
Baelon runs up to him with a toy bus, "papa, can we play?"
Daemon looks down at his son and smiles. He crouches down, "of course, darling," he looks up at you, "we'll play with Vivi."
Visenya immediately wrangles out of your arms and you have no choice but to set her down.
As much as you wanted to grind his guts, you knew your children loved their dad. They so obviously missed him dearly.
Daemon sprawls belly-down on the floor without hesitation. Visenya and Baelon fall into their usual play mode and you take a deep breath before heading back to the kitchen to finish cooking.
By the time you were finished and calling for them and their joke-of-a-father to come to the table for lunch, you find yourself alone by the dining table waiting for seemingly nothing.
You were about to go get your kids, that is until Daemon walked over.
Your face immediately morphs into distaste. It makes Daemon chuckle, "that bad?"
"Where are my babies?"
"Our babies are napping," he says, pulling a chair back. He sits down and tilts his head, "I'm here though."
You make a disgusted face.
Daemon laughs. He missed your face very much.
You cross your arms, "what did you do to them?"
"You're accusing me of doing something to my children?" he chuckles in disbelief as places a hand on his chest.
"They never need to take naps."
Daemon shrugs, "you don't play with them hard enough."
He realizes his mistake when your face contorts.
"I didn't hurt them," he waves his hands, "I just made them chase each other around until they burned out."
"Good then," you point to the door, "leave."
He narrows his eyes in offence, "I promised I'd be here when they woke up."
You throw your head back in laughter, though you found no amusement in his words, "that wouldn't be the first time you lied."
"I've never lied to Baelon or Visenya."
"You think you deserve a consolation for that?" you snap, turning around to lean on the sink. You wash your hands even though you've just washed them, "I told you I would leave. I told you I would leave you if you kept up your bullshit."
Daemon stands and walks towards you.
You don't look back but you knew he was closing in. You didn't need to look; you could feel him. You knew exactly what he would do because you knew him like the back of your hand.
This was why before he could do anything, you turned away and flicked water into his face.
Daemon stills in his spot, taken off-guard.
You decide to finish cleaning up before you eat.
He wipes his face, "and I told you you'll be back."
You scoff as you tidy the counter, "am I the one crawling back?"
"Is that what you want?" Daemon raises a brow as he walks over.
You still in your spot when he drops to his knees.
"I'll crawl and beg," he whispers as if it was something solemn.
You watch him inch closer and before you have the brain to move, you let out a gasp when he grabs your thigh.
It didn't help that his palms were warm and your skin was cool from wearing shorts and damp from washing dishes. It didn't help that you hadn't been touched for so long and that your skin grew goosebumps.
It didn't help that he had it all figured out.
He kissed your thigh once and the next moment, he had you pressed against the counter, nose to nose, forehead to forehead, nearly lips to lips.
Daemon traps you between his arms, hands gripping the counter on both your sides.
You could smell him so clearly now. It did something to your stomach. Your hands wanted to instinctively reach out to him, but you thanked the gods you knew better than that.
"I'll atone for my sins whichever way you want," he murmurs, "just let me see my kids."
You press your hands on his chest, ready to pull him away, "I know better than to believe you."
Daemon waits for you to push him back. When you don't, he doesn't hide his smile. He grins and takes your hands, kissing them.
Your breath is pulled out of your lungs.
He shakes his head, "you don't have to believe me. You just have to watch me."
It wasn't right, but the feeling of his lips on your skin was too familiar to resist. Daemon kisses your hands, up to your wrists, up to your shoulders, then your lips were trapped between his teeth and you were pulling him in.
The only reason you stopped was because Visenya walked in on you, scratching her eye, asking if she could have help getting a plate of food.
You watch as Daemon smiles at her. You watch as your daughter giggles as her papa gives her a plate and kisses her cheek before telling her he's going to go wake her brother up.
You watch as he carries Baleon and sits him down next to him. You watch him dote on them and it nearly makes you forgive and forget all he's done.
Daemon knows better than to think you'd do anything of the sort.
And even though you sit across from him holding a look of spite, he gives smirks back and prepares you a plate.
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dizzybizz · 4 months
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hai here is a sketch dump with too many fandoms :) sorry about the ungodly amount of men here i have been going through it and by it i mean gay
ok wait i ran out of tags??? it wont let me tag them all😭😭😭 im gonna have to be sparing with them uhh i guess i will have to ramble under the cut then cus i like rambling in my tags but i cant with this one 😭
(ok im back from the ramble: it is way too long.... proceed forward if you want to see some guy just absolutely talk nonsense for entirely too long)
no cus i swear i have tried tagging more stuff than this before and never hit the limit but whatever
hello i really use this like a fkn blog huh
i just wanted to provide some thoughts on the harper and rosé one first bc its important to me 😌 cus i was thinking abt harper and how in my head and heart of hearts she would be the kid who thought you get pregnant from kissing and i dont think she ever really grew out of that belief. <- this ended up spawning the idea of harper being a sex-repulsed ace and i will die on this hill actually. fight me or die, you die either way actually nvm
this is just a buncha blorbos i dont know what to tell you really. sketch pages like these always end up so weird for me bc for some reason my brain always wants the characters in them to interact in some way. whether that be talking or just reacting to what the other is doing... its something i cant stop with, its so stupid and silly and i hate it and i love it. where else would i see kabru slowly losing his mind with how loud phoenix wright is in court????
I THOUGHT I HAD GOTTEN OFF THE RAILS WITH THAT BUT THEN THE NEXT PAGE HAPPENED. and all i could do was laugh and ask "what the fuck am i drawing??? HOW DID WE GET HERE? WHY IS THISTLE HERE WITH LEOPIKA HELP" LIKE that page started with the big leopika and then i was like "man i miss thistle lemme draw him real quick" but the curse struck and now hes being homophobic so </3
i rlly like how the nic(k) page turned out ... i just have a lot of nicks i like drawing idk.. the lil guy is an oc,,, one day his ref sheet will be finished and itll be awesome but not for now, sorry baby, no can do. im weirdly happy with how the hands turned out for all of them tho?? so thats a W
yotasuke, murai, nick (youll never know which one im referring to. .. jkjk its hoult i love the pose there ehehhe), nic and the entire last page r my favs. i like em all but those rlly get me yknow- the olly too ofc but ive already posted him, dont mind him being here, hes part of the set. AND OVER ALL IVE BEEN HAVING SO FUN WITH SHADING BLACK AND JUST LEAVING SPOTS BLANK ITS SO ?`????
WHY IS THIS SO LONG PLS DONT READ ALL THIS THIS IS STRAIGHT UP EMBARRASSING AGHSDFGSDHJSGD im all like "yeah i dont like talking about myself or whatever" but as soon as i get to my process or blorbos or smth the floodgates fucking break open, not even burst man.
also dont mind how i havent even acknowledged pingas twink pokemon counterpart. hes just here for shits and giggles i dont know the guy like at all, i watched a handful of eps of horizons and that was it RIP
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imwetforyourmom · 16 days
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hi can u do headcannons (or a fic idm) of like people pleaser!reader and bf!matt who like stands up for her or tells people off on her behalf?
I really hope this makes even the slightest bit of sense
thank you so much, I love ur writing sm🤍🫶🏼
people pleaser!reader x matt headcannons!
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(I have never done hcs ever, so if its bad thats mb, also I didnt know if you wanted nsfw but I js didnt bc I dont rllt know how to nsfw people pleaser x matt but if tou want me to retry it dont hesitate to ask!!)
warnings: angst, swearing
a/n: I dont rlly know how to write people pleasers and such so thats why its short, but I can try again if you’d like, I also love this idea, thank you anon!! <33
~
- the second someone pushes you around and or walks all over you hes quick to shut it down.
“alright listen man, it was one thing when you told her to fuck off, but telling her to shut the fuck up is another. I need you to leave.”
- when matt notices that someone is using you to their advantage or even notices you going out of your way to please them on several occasions hes getting it done and over with, quick.
“okay. enough y/n, come sit with me. you dont need to do everything for that asshole, k?”
^ he made sure to say it extra loud so the guy heard what matt had said about him.
- after matt had told someone off for being rude to you, you sat down next to him with your head hung low and your eyes filled with tears of guilt.
“baby, whats wrong?” he asked, his arm coming over to your back and rubbing your shoulder.
“that wasnt nice of you to yell at him.. look at him, I feel guilty now.” you spoke, your voice slightly shaky as you motioned to the man whom was anxiously biting his lip with his mouth closed shut, after matt had told him to keep it shut.
“it also wasnt nice of him to yell at you and call you names, was it?” he grumbled, just looking at the guy made him angrier, especially knowing you felt bad for him.
- “no, no, if you want me to. I can!” you spoke, a soft smile on your face as you talked to the girl infront of you, in which the girl had a smirk on her face, catching onto your patterns.. doing anything for the sake of pleasing her.
matt, on the other hand, stood behind you and glared at the girl, his jaw clenching with pure irritation. matt cleared his throat, trying to get the girls attention. and once her eyes met his he brought his hand up and flipped her off.
- in ways of showing you he wasnt happy with what you were doing he’d do subtle motions with his hands or look at you a certain way. you’ve learned that his jaw clenched tightly shut and his eyes glaring at you, then a quick look at the person you were currently giving your everything, is a way of him indicating he wanted you stop what you were doing.
- watching you adapt someone elses personality to try and seem more approachable and less weird truly angers him, despite knowing he cant do anything about it. he feels you should know that you’re perfect just the way you are and dont need to be accepted by everyone, they should like you for who you are.
- “oh..” you mumble, your head hung low as somone insults you and your interests. you cant say anything nor do anything, its not in your nature. you just have to sit there and take it, in fear of disappointing them. and since matt wasnt with you, there wasnt any way in stopping the next few minutes of being insulted.
later that day, when you come home your cheeks are tear-stained, you have mascara running down your cheeks and your breathing is uneven.. theres no way in hell you’re hiding this from matt. you take gentle steps as you walk to his room, slowly pushing his door open and taking small sniffles.
with hearing the door creak open matts lips turn into a grin, that is, until he lifts his head up to the sight of you, looking like you just bawled for hours on end. he quickly tosses his phone on his bed and walks over to you, engulfing you in his arms. already knowing what was going on he didnt ask anything, instead just comforted you.
- “ok! im fucking tired of your shit dude! you’ve been bossing, walking all over her, degrading and just overall being a total dickhead to her!” matt yelled, finally getting enough of this kid being rude to his girlfriend. he stood up from his chair and walked over to carlos. he stood tall and high infront of him. y/n moved behind matt and grabbed his hand, holding it and lightly squeezing, at an attempt to calm him down.
“matt, baby, its okay. im fine. dont yell at him.” y/n whispered, your voice quiet as you spoke. you avoided eye contact with carlos. “no, its not okay! hes being a total asshole to you, y/n. you dont deserve to be treated like that.” he turned around to face you. his voice no longer being loud as he spoke with sincerity towards you.
- you being treated rudely didnt always end up with him yelling at someone. when he wasnt fuming with anger, he would grab your hand and hold it, rubbing his thumb gently over your skin, then pull you into him, in a sense of protection and to tell you ‘enough’ without speaking.
- matt would act almost immediately when he even sees the beginning signs of you starting to act and do everything possible for the person you’re talking to. he would lean down in your ear and mumble quietly, “relax, my love.”
- again, he would make sure to be extra loud about shit talking someone when calling you over to him just to make sure that they know what matt thinks of them.
“cmon baby, that poor excuse of a friend doesnt deserve you.”
“hes being an asshole, my love. dont suck up to him.”
tags
@luverboychris @chrissturniolosfavoritesexdoll @meg-sturniolo @junnniiieee07 @genshin-addict @mels22lunchbox @ssilentzom @haunted-headset @dollyspsychoxo @sturnib-tch @b2cute @livvy4realll @graysturns
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laangdonn · 4 months
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not anymore
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summary: the aftermath of glenn and abraham leaves carl and y/n’s relationship in shambles.
pairing: carl grimes x female reader
a/n: first carl grimes post yayy, i love him so much and in my mind he lives on.
*read part 2 here*
*************************
the house was quiet minus the occasional sniffle from carl and i. he was sat with his head in his hands on the leather sofa, his fingers lightly gripping his brown curls. i watched him carefully through blurry vision from behind the kitchen counter, supporting myself with my hands on the cold marble.
it was dark, the moon and a single saucer light in the kitchen shining as light.
it was so fucking quiet but my head had never been louder.
“so what are you saying?” i whispered, carefully watching my words.
he lifted his eyes for a moment until he brought his head back into his palms. he refused eye contact. “i don’t know what i’m saying.”
“you don’t love me anymore?” every word i spoke sent my stomach falling into my feet.
he didn’t answer. i didn’t know if that made it better or worse.
“jesus, carl, answer me-“
“i still love you,” he finally responded, his hand rubbing his face in stress. “of course i still love you.”
“then what’s wrong?” i pressed, a sudden urgency filling my veins. “why are we even having this conversation? why did you come home and suddenly act as if we’ve been fighting for weeks-“
“cause we have been, y/n!” his voice picked up now, throwing his hands in the air and standing up. he still hadn’t looked at me. “we have been fighting for weeks! we cant even look at each other without fighting! ever since glenn-“
“stop.” i cut him off, feeling my chest clench. “this wasn’t them, it wasn’t.”
but it was, and i knew it. the aftermath of glenn and abraham put a strain on the whole group, especially me and carl. we came home that morning, stumbling out of the RV and hadn’t been the same since. every time i looked at carl, all i saw were the tears streaming down his face and the reflection of glenn’s bloody skull in his eyes. i saw the black line drawn on carl’s left arm, and the axe raised in the air.
i looked at carl and i saw death.
i knew he felt the same.
“that day…” he started, taking a breath. “that day i had no other wish but to die. to keep you safe if that’s what it took. i couldn’t protect you from him and i don’t know if i can even try. i put you in danger by loving you.”
i shuddered a breath as the tears began to
clog my throat.
“that’s why i can’t love you, y/n. not anymore.”
“you act like that’s a choice you can make.” i choked out, a feeling of anger pushing forward. anger at the way he thought he could fool anyone who knew him.
“i can try.”
“BULLSHIT!” i snapped, slamming my hand against the cold counter and feeling it sting.
he buried his face in his hands and i could see his shoulders shaking. i felt my heart break then, knowing i wouldn’t be able to change his mind.
a sob broke its way through my throat, wet and rough, and i instantly regretted it because carl looked straight at my eyes and i felt myself sink deeper into the ground.
“don’t do this, carl…” i whispered, looking into his crystal blue eyes, a raging ocean encased in this beautiful human who i’d have to let go. i shook my head at him slowly.
“i’m going to get you killed,”
“then let me be killed knowing you loved me! isn’t that the best we can do?!”
“the best i can do is keep you alive.” he countered strongly. his voice was no longer broken or shaken, but determined.
i realized in that moment nothing could be done to change his mind, it had already been made up. carl was stubborn, too stubborn for his own good and he’d never be swayed by anyone, even me.
no words were spoken between us as we stared at the floor, drowning in the absence of each other. all i wanted in that moment was to touch him, to feel him under my skin and prove to me that he’s still real and he’s still here after everything that had happened. but he was taking that away from me and ripping my heart out along with it.
he inhaled a sharp breath, rubbing his hand on his face once more before he said, “it’d be best if you went to carol’s tonight.”
i swallowed harshly, nodding. at least he was right about one thing.
too tired to argue further, i walked past him and to the front door. he kept his head bowed, not looking at me. i could sense the tension as i barely grazed his shoulder, walking so fast i barely registered the soft material of his flannel on my skin. i paused in front of the door, gripping the handle and hoping he’d call out my name and beg me to stay.
but he didn’t. and i turned around to see his eyes were still trained on the floor, back turned. i felt the cold air envelop me and i slammed the door shut, reverberating and practically shaking the house. i sucked in a breath and pushed forward to the blue house a few doors down.
i knocked wearily, feeling my knees begin to wobble as the effects of what had just transpired hit me. suddenly i was a mess on the porch, breathing erratically as i tried to process what just happened. but, when i saw carols face when she opened the door, concerned at my state of being, i lost it.
she carried me into the house and let me sob my way through the story. she held me while i cried and laid me down once i had fallen asleep in her grasp, eyes crusted shut with tried tears, cheeks red, and lips swollen.
i dreamt that night of glenn.
———
in the morning i woke to the smell of toast and eggs. my stomach growled harshly and i realized i hadn’t eaten since yesterday afternoon.
i gripped the banister on my way downstairs, being created with carol’s sympathetic smile. i sat down on the island counter as she pushed a plate of breakfast in front of me.
“i’m leaving for hilltop today.” i announced suddenly. her back was turned to me but i could sense the blank stare that must’ve washed over her. the sizzle of the pan of eggs on the stove top was the only sound heard for a moment.
then, she continued tussling the eggs in the pan, continuing on as if i hadn’t said anything. “it’s dangerous.”
“maggie needs me.” i answered simply.
“she’d feel much better if you stayed here. safe, with rick.”
i took a small bite of my toast, “she knows i can take care of myself. i should’ve gone with her and sasha right after…” i let my voice drift on, knowing i didn’t have to be specific. “i need to do this for her. for me. i cant stay here, carol, i can’t. not anymore.”
carol turned around at that, pouring her own eggs onto a plate. “well, i’m not going to stop you.” she said, taking a bite, “but i don’t think you should go alone.”
“i don’t need a babysitter,” i mumbled, beginning to lose my appetite. “im going by myself and that’s final.”
———
i opened the front door to the grimes’ home we shared cautiously. i anticipated to see carl in the front room with judith, as he always was, but to my surprise it was rick instead.
he was sat on the couch while judith babbled and played on the floor. his eyes were tired and lost, his face sunken with grief. he turned to look at me walking in and gave me the same, sympathetic smile i had gotten from carol.
i stood awkwardly in front of the door, looking anywhere but his eyes.
“he told you didn’t he.” i mumbled, not even being able to bring myself to say his name.
“no,” his voice was rough as he spoke, “i heard him last night crying in his room, after you’d left. and i knew.”
i felt my heart clench and my nose begin to sting. i nodded slowly, knowing i wouldn’t be able to choke out words i so desperately wanted to say.
“im going to hilltop today. only carol knows. i came to grab my stuff.”
his eyebrows furrowed at me and once i saw the disapproving look i spoke fast.
“i can make it there.” i promised, “we need each other.”
rick knew exactly who i was referring to and suddenly the look of disapproval vanished from his face. he nodded at me slowly, accepting the fact that this battle would be one he lost in trying to keep me here. he turned to judith and i took that as my cue to head upstairs.
“carl is at the armory, but he should be back soon,” i heard rick say, “i suggest you leave before he gets back, for both of your sakes.”
i didn’t answer, only continued up the steps. i didn’t want to see carl because i knew if he begged me to stay i would. it hurts knowing i perhaps don’t have that same control over him.
pushing open his door and revealing his room, our room was harder than i had imagined. i wanted to be out quickly, without hassle. i went through drawers, grabbing my things, stuffing them into the two duffel bags i had underneath our bed.
my heart dropped when i heard the front door open and close. i hadn’t been quick enough.
“where is she?” i heard his voice from downstairs and it motivated me to work quicker.
i managed to close the zipper on the second duffle bag but when i turned to the door i almost fainted. carl stood there with his arms hanging limp at his side, a blank stare on his face as he watched me pack my life away.
we stood facing each other for a long time. i stressed another fight, perhaps a bigger blowout than the last, but i looked into his sad, tired eyes and realized there wouldn’t be any fighting between us.
“how did you know i was here,” i mumbled.
“i went to carol’s looking for you. she told me you were leaving for hilltop.” his face scrunched up in disgust at his own words, as if just the thought of me leaving left a sour taste in his mouth.
“i am.” i said, voice feeble in an attempt to remain confident.
he shook his head slowly as tears began to rise up in his eyes. “don’t, y/n.”
“why not?” i pushed, crossing my arms over my chest. “why wouldn’t i leave? what’s left for me here?”
he didn’t answer.
“you let me go last night.” i stabilized my voice a bit, straightening my back to make myself look stronger as i spoke the words. “you can let me go again.”
“is that what this is?” he questioned, “is this reckless stupidity to punish me for last night?”
i scoffed, rolling his eyes at his narcissism. “no,” i chuckled in disbelief.
“then why? because this is the first time i’ve heard about this from you. not once have you said you’ve wanted to go to hilltop.”
“why wouldn’t i go?” i asked rhetorically, “maggie’s there and i want to help her. i feel so… so useless here! like, nothing is going right in this godforsaken place and last night was the last thing i needed to set me off.”
his face suddenly paled, his eyes softening. words were stuck on the edge of his tongue and i could see in his expression he contemplated letting them spill over. “i wanted to talk about last night.”
i turned around at that, beginning to rustle with my bag to occupy my hands. to do something other than hear him talk. especially about last night.
“i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to hurt you, you have no idea how hard it was for me, letting you go like that.”
i scoffed again, “you don’t even have a clue how i feel, carl, so don’t even try to sympathize with me.”
“i-“
“save it.” i spat, anger beginning to rise up my veins at the idea that he was about to pity me. “nothing you can say, nothing you think you can do to make it okay won’t keep me from-“
a loud bang on the front door shook me from finishing my sentence, both our eyes widening as carl ran out of the room and to the stairs.
“anyone home?” a booming voice spoke. i knew that voice.
carl, eyes still wide, turned to me in shock. i stood frozen, my hand still clutching the strap of my duffel bag filled with things.
“aww, you are a cutie-pie aren’t you! where’s your mommy, huh?”
at that, my blood ran cold.
judith was downstairs, by herself, with him.
without another moment of hesitation, carl was booking it down the stairs. i closely followed; forgetting our fued and any other reason why i would be angry in the first place. judith came first.
when i got to the bottom of the stairs carl was already in a staring match with negan as he held judith in his burly arms. the sight almost made me vomit. if he was capable of all he did that night, what was stopping him from harming a baby?
“well would you look what we have here,” he smiled his wicked smile. “i remember you,” he said, pointing at me.
“give me the baby,” carl demanded, his eye narrow. i wouldn’t have wanted to be on the receiving end of his glare.
negan chuckled, “and why would i do that? she’s so precious, i don’t think i’ll ever let her go.”
i felt my eyes sting when he lifted her up higher, examining her small, angelic face with devil eyes.
“i’m not asking,” carl said confidently, his voice didn’t shake or tremble. surprisingly, he was calmer than me, and it was his sister. he kept his eyes trained on negan, never once allowing him to leave his hard gaze. “give her to me.”
negan looked between the two of us before letting out a large gasp, his eyes widening, “no fucking shit, pardon my french but, aren’t you two a little young…”
my cheeks flushed once i realized what he was implying. i slowly shook my head, staring at carl out of the corner of my eye. his eye narrowed further.
“that’s my sister.” he spat.
“this is rick’s baby girl?” negan bounced judith in his arms again, eliciting a small giggle from her. “wow! now it’s a grimes’ party!”
he eyed me up and down, “sweetheart,” he beckoned me to take the baby, and without question i stepped up, carefully taking her out of his grasp and into the safety of my arms. i let out a sigh of relief, smoothing her golden hair back.
i backed up to carl’s side again, keeping my arms strongly around judith’s small body. she twirled a strand of my brown hair around her stubby finger, giggling again.
ever so slightly, carl stepped in front of me, shielding judith and i from whatever this man could do.
“so, where’s rick?” negan asked as he began trodding around the room, picking up trinkets left in the house by the previous owners.
“not here,” carl answered stiffly. out of the corner of my eye, i saw his hand lightly graze over the top of his jeans. my heart pounded a little faster.
negan sighed disappointedly, “well, im gonna go look for him! in the meantime, a few of my men will be by here to collect half your shit for me to take! kapeesh?”
he walked over to me and patted judith’s back, getting sickenly close. i held my breath, attempting to shield my fear. “i’ll be back for you, sweetheart.”
a chill ran down my spine when judith giggled at the man’s words. it felt like i was holding that breath in all the way until the front door closed and i could breathe again.
suddenly, carl gripped my shoulders and forced me to face him. “take judith upstairs and stay there.”
boots crunching against gravel outside made my stomach drop, the sound getting closer as each second passed. i shook my head violently. “i’m not leaving you down here by yourself.”
“i’ll be fine, go upstairs. now!” he pushed me in the direction of the stairs, judith cooing. i suddenly felt the urge to tell him i loved him, to hold him and make sure he’s safe. i never wanted to leave his side.
i had barely made it up the stairs and out of sight by the time the men had opened the door and i heard carl already start with the spiteful comments. he’s gonna get himself killed.
i placed judith in her crib, cooing to her softly to make sure she was settled. i locked her door from the inside, stuffing the key in my back jean pocket and headed for the stairs. i peeked through the railings, watching carl argue with one of negan’s men while the other ransacked the kitchen.
“you said half!” carl growled, watching the men stuff cabinet after cabinet of food into a large bag.
“we’ll take as much as we want.” one of the men replied, his tone snark and condescending.
my eyes bulged when i saw carl turn around and raise his gun to the man in the kitchen. he cocked it, his finger edging the trigger. “put it back.”
at this, i ran downstairs to carl’s side, just in time for the man behind him to cock his gun, right at my head.
carl’s head turned, his face pale when he saw the cold metal pressed up against my head, and the man’s strong arm around my torso.
“put the gun down, kid.” the man with the gun to me demanded. carl didn’t budge.
“carl…” i whispered carefully, my heart thumping in my ears loud enough to the point where i could barely hear myself talk aloud. “put it down…”
he stood there for a moment, his hand holding the gun beginning to shake as his pupil turned into a devilish slit to the man threatening my life. after what felt like hours, he finally lowered the gun, and i let out a sigh of relief when the metal left my hair.
we watched in distraught as they picked apart every inch of our home. luckily, we were able to keep him from going upstairs, and they left without another word to either of us. as the front door slammed shut i was pulled harshly into carl’s arms, his whole body shaking in rage.
his grip was tight and constricting, as if the anger was flowing into the hug. i could barely get a breath out, and i felt him shakily let out a few of his own into my ear, his chin digging into the crevice between my neck and my shoulder.
i could feel his rage. it coursed through him like the blood in his veins. his brain pumped more thoughts of negan, his saviors, their wrath, and i felt him slip into his emotions.
“i love you,” he whispered, his voice harsh, embrace still solid.
a tear dropped onto the warm skin of my shoulder, and by then i knew, everything he had said to me last night was nothing but a mistake.
i nodded against him, “i know.”
———
the rest of the day he didn’t let go of me, refused to. we laid in bed and i realized he was still thinking of this mornings’ events.
rick had come back an hour after the saviors left and panicked, asking about judith and if we were okay. he saw carl practically in tears from anger on the couch and me coddling his fragile ego.
he told us to stay in the house the rest of the day, and he’d be back to salvage whatever food he could find for dinner after our kitchen became nothing but a hollow, empty shell.
laying on carl’s chest, i drew patterns onto the grey of his shirt. we laid in silence, comfortable yet uncomfortable silence, until he broke it.
“today,” he started, his voice low, “when he had his gun up to your head, i realized something.”
i lifted my head slightly to look at him, his eye trained on the wall in front of us.
“you were about to die without me saying i love you today.” he sucked in a sharp breath, “and- and i realized i couldn’t live with myself if that happened.”
he finally looked down to me, his eye glazed over, staring at my with a heartbreakingly beautiful gaze that told me everything i needed to know.
“carl-“
“if you still want to go to hilltop i wont stop you.” he continued, cutting me off, “but if they come there-“ his voice hitched, his chest tightening under me. “remember that even after what i said, i cant ever stop loving you, y/n.”
the tears that had been building in my eyes finally spilled over. i realized the extent of what we were all going through, what our reality is. that we don’t know if today is promised, more so than before we met the saviors. that humans are far more dangerous than any walker we’d ever come across.
we were all living on borrowed time, and at some point, we’d have to return it.
i buried my head in his warm chest and sobbed. sobbed for glenn, for abraham, for maggie, for judith, for me, for carl, for us together. i sobbed for what we’d never have again as far as it seemed.
safety.
“what are we gonna do,” the words tumbled out of my mouth deliriously, through snot and sobs.
he didn’t answer, but carl’s grip around me tightening, and the way his chest stuttered, answered for him when his throat had nothing to offer.
but then he spoke. low and menacing. he acquired a sort of vendetta he didn’t have the night prior. he wasn’t about to let me go for them. not anymore.
“we’re gonna make them pay.”
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