Tumgik
#why cant i just have normal emotions and relationships!!!!! why do i attach to people so bad!!!!! why !!!!
blueslight · 1 year
Text
👎
#I domt think I made it clear enough to my now ex girlfriend that I broke up with her because she is absolutely unbearably clingy#and now.i feel guilty that she didnt get it cuz like until she realizes that all her relationships are gonna fail cuz any normal guy would#lose his fucking mind at her and anyone who WOULDNT would probably use her depedence to abuse her and like. I know that and i feel.bad for#evidently not making it clear enough to her#cause like also even now shes still being clingy with me ....and i find myself unable to set proper boundaries cause I dont wanna be mean#and them im morally unhappy with myself. but like then again i DO set boundaries she just doesnt respect them . and then I lose my#composure and get mean and thats even worse cuz i dont wanna be mean to someome as fragile as her but like. Shes suffocated me so much im#in the mindset of a cornered injured animal . and they bite#and it frustrates me that i cant react organically to her cause i always have to keep quiet and not protest even when she really crosses#my boundarjes cuz i dont wanna upset her#and she even said herself that even now im the omly.person she wants to talk to and i told her several.times to go talk to our other#friends cuz how am i supposed to comfort her about her breakup WHEN I DID THE FUCKING BREAKING UP..#plus I dont want that like i dont want the sole responsiblity for her social interactioms and emotional support just because shes#got unhealthy attachment behavior and refuses to get therapy ..#and like now its like well i domt wanna be mean or hurt her even more but also I dont wanna comfort my ex ABOUT *OUR* FUCKIMG BREAKUP that#is 1. fucked up EVEN THO we are still friends like id.comfort her about other stuff but how does she not realize that this wont. help#and 2. it gives me fuckin war flashbacks to my last relationship which just activates my injured animal instinct even further#and Idk why i cant set boundaries w her cuz i can do it well with other people but she just paralyzes me somehow w this stuff EVEN THO WE#GET ALONG WELL WHEN WERE LIKE NORMALLY PLATONICALLY INTERACRING#idk man i just need a fucking breather like i understand breakups hurt and i was anticipating giving her space until we can properly be#friends again (which we agreed on wanting) but like#Its not gonna get any better for her if shes constantly interacting w me#and on god her attachmenr to me isnt entirely healthy AND I DOMR WANNA SUPPORT HER UNHEALTHY BEHAVIORS but i also dont wanna be constantly#like acting on a meta level thinking whats besr for HER instead of just acting on instinct ...
3 notes · View notes
damnfandomproblems · 6 months
Note
https://www.tumblr.com/damnfandomproblems/730443258208124929/from-responses-to-4292-it-is-for-everyone-that?source=share technically no unless they identify with any label that isnt just cis/het people on the ace spectrum are apart of the lgbt community. that description of the stereotypical straight relation ship of people who dont agree with lgbt community was just to remind people of the kind of people that have actually caused harm to the lgbt community in the past. if people want that lifestyle that's okay ofc do what you want its your life but historically these are the majority and its these people that have tried to demonize being gay or in anyway different speaking of im going to take this chance to say this to that one person who got offended by me calling lgbt people "deviant" "weird" or "queer" (i can no longer see exactly what you said bcuz i blocked you) its because we are. and me saying that isn't me saying its a bad thing. but there are those that believe that. to a cis/het person who doesn't agree with lgbt, ace people are still considered to be "weird", "deviant", and "queer". Anyway no the people you described are not inherently apart of the lgbt community. this argument is about the fact that some people think if you are not in some way in a homosexual relationship that you aren't actually apart of the lgbt community. like saying "bi or pan people aren't gay enough if they have a opposite sex partner, unless of of them is trans" However the ace spectrum deals more with HOW you are attracted to someone. you can experience no sexual attraction at all (some ace people still have sex for their partners or just because they can but feeling disgust towards sex is also common) aromantic people are much the same but with romance instead then there's Demi which are people who tend to only feel sexual or romantic or both attraction if they have a strong emotional attachment to someone. and there are more but those are the most common three gay people can feel this too. nonbinary couples also so why would there be an exception for straight people???? there's a lot more to the lgbt community than just gays and trans being straight or cis doesn't automatically disqualify you from being queer however however we still shouldn't shit on ALLIES or the concept of being straight or cis in general that description i gave was, again, just a reminder of who actually has caused problems for lgbt from the beginning. in America those are the kinds of people who've harmed us as have worked to make us seem less than human. the people who have tried to put themselves on a pedestal of perfection and normalcy and that being anything but is unnatural and a sin. that's why i say the lgbt community is for everyone but that. 1/2
 2/2 and allies are welcome here. it may not be the right community they need like say a pro kink community for those interested in evolving their sex life but the less we try and push these people away the better because in a way as long as they support us too and are working to tear down that "pedestal of perfection" conservatives have built then in a way they are and always been apart of the community. a community of people who have all felt the effects of being considered "not normal", "sinful", "disgusting". and much worse this is also why kink is at pride parades. they are people who have been considered much of what lgbt people have. and have always helped to fight for our rights. personally i cant wait for a day that lgbt includes cis/ het even without other labels or identities. because they are still both a sexuality and a gender identification. and as lgbt becomes more popular and widely accepted we are seeing more and more a sort of discrimination against cis/het people from members of the lgbt community. very largely seen with bi or pan people. and this heterophobia is not healthy and is often instigated by people who want to remain "different" and want something to bully and make themselves seen better, which is becoming easier to do since your more likely to get backlash for being straight and hating on gays for being gay. so in short, being apart of the lgbt community is more about connecting with people who've had similar experiences as you for your identity being """not normal""" while also fighting for ALL identities to be considered normal. and this includes cis/het people with "micro identifications" like the ace spectrum. (and personally i hope for the eventual dissolvement of the lgbt community entirely and we can all just exist) i am notorious for being bad at explanations so i can only hope this clears things up
This is a response to this ask.
10 notes · View notes
djmousewife · 10 months
Text
its so unfair that i dont get to be stable i dont get to have good mental health that i was fucked over so completely by multiple people to create whatever the fuck is going on with me now,,why cant i just be normal and have calm and even emotions and non dependent relationships and leave behind my anxious avoidant attachment style? and the thing that sucks is its not like i dont try???? i do, i try so hard to be better but it always comes crashing down i feel so shit i feel like im drowning which is cliche and stupid but whatever
2 notes · View notes
blazing--stars · 7 months
Text
self isolation due to family volitility -> everyone thinks im the best kid, mature and independent and left alone because "i can handle myself" -> have to become independent anyways because of divorce and family attitude -> even when i asked for help directly and clearly still wouldnt get any ->
situation with dad retraumatized me: volatile living situation brought back fear from childhood, survival instincts and avoidance, doing what i can to protect myself -> now extremely exhausted and cant stand to take care of myself anymore but no other option
-------
being left alone to handle things and not paid attention to -> possible hpd / other personality disorder (unstable attachment) -> go out of my way to try to get attention from other people, always hang out with people, trying to meet new people but coming off wrong (concert), get highly attached to people quickly (variety of intense fast paced short lived internet friendships/almost relationships, codependency made me feel important and cared for), have unstable identity and history of unstable friendships, suggestible, embellishes stories of the self to make things seem more impressive, unstable emotions, trying to cry for help as a child through teen by telling anyone who would listen about what i had gone through, hate being alone, part of why i felt so hurt by austin because he wasnt spending time with me enough which is extremely important to me
--------
at the same time, cant figure out how much of this is real. i know that everything with my dad happened the way it did. i know everything with my mom happened the way it did. i remember bright points of childhood but most of it just feels volatile but i cant remember well. am i wrong and is dads family just seeing an insane and ungrateful person? am i dramatizing my childhood to have something to latch to and unwittingly forgetting what it was actually like? i dont think i am because sisters experience was so much worse but i cant tell
its really hard to trust myself and my thoughts and experiences when it comes to thinking about dads family. is there something i couldve done better? would it have been better to not say anything? logically their treatment of me was callous and unfair but the second i try to talk about it i get frozen out. brain is chasing itself in circles about it
theres a huge part of me where the only thing it wants to do is make everybody happy at my own expense in the hopes that it will make people like me better. i know im right to feel hurt by my family and theyre wrong for cutting me off but it tries to convince me that i should run back to them, walk everything back, and pretend its okay just to get them back because it doesnt matter as long as there are people to be with me
my head feels so fucked because obviously there is a reason for the way i am because im super not normal and i know that i had been trying to tell people about it from a young age but no one did anything and everyone acts like im insane if i bring it up and then act like im the villain so its really hard to tell what is actually real at this point
also cant figure out if im a shitty person or normal because i dont trust my perception of events anymore
-----
i keep having dreams about my family, have had a few in past couple weeks but most recent - mom died first, no one on dads side cared or said anything, acted like it never happened. great grandma and grandparent died, everything became crazy and hysterical and i felt confused and unemotional. dads family all corner me and start yelling at me, criticizing me and mom
-----
its really hard to think through this stuff because every time i try to connect pieces in my head i feel like im hitting a brick wall and physically cant think past it or draw conclusions
Tumblr media Tumblr media
0 notes
Text
Sam's Chats with the Void: Being AROACE
I, am aromantic and asexual. I've called myself so for years now, and I'm proud of it. Romantic relationships seem exhausting, and I'm somewhat glad I don't have to deal with them. I understand they are important for other people, but that doesn't mean I wish they were important to me.
My therapist asked me to explain myself when I said I don't get romance. This is an exercise that helps me a lot when i have mixed feelings or anxiety about something. At first I talked about how I don't experience romantic and sexual attraction. I know what it supposedly feels like to have a crush, ex getting flustered, butterflies in stomach, wanting to be physically/emotionally close etc. I know what all those things feel like, but i don't know what the emotion attached to those feelings feels like.
It's like trying to describe colour to a blind person. You can say what colour something is, but you can't get them to be able to visualise it.
This is why I don't like consuming most adult content, or even teen content. The constant assumption that the reader experiences romantic and sexual attraction disconnects me from the story. The constant pushing characters together into relationships or having crushes makes me feel like an alien on top of already being a ghost. If i'm close to dropping a show already when romance pops up I will drop it. I actually get into stories sometimes and only find its a romance at the end, because unless its blatantly obvious I'm not garenteed to know its romance. In the way you may assume a relationship between characters because its normal for you I assume friendship/found family because that's normal for me. My favourite example of this is Ouran Highschool Host club. I've re watched this show multiple times, minus the last episode so I can keep pretending its a found family story.
This doesn't mean I don't like the idea of characters being in relationships though. Leo is gay and dating a rabbit after all. Again I understand how important romance is to some people, and that means I can want characters to be happy in a romantic relationship. I also do experience aesthetic and platonic attraction and love. I love my family, my friends, my pets, and even fictional characters, just platonically.
This became a problem when I was writing a personal project. I wanted a character to fall in love. He a big ol gay dude deserved to actually fulfill his gay dreams and get a boyfriend. I had the perfect chance to make this happen and wrote in his soon to be crush into the story. Long story short, it took me 5 hours to write half a page of the blandest, driest, and overall worst stuff I've ever written. My first thought was asking someone how romance feels and learning more, but as I said you cant describe colour to a blind person. I tried referencing fictional romance, but since I don't know how even that works it didn't help. I can write romantically (given enough time),but its boring as heck. I'm very close to asking someone to co write this story with me, just to cover the romance aspects so i can still reward that character.
Someone told me once that I couldn't be AROACE because it's what makes us human. Little do they know when I dissociate I feel like a ghost. I was AROACE before I died, but I still think it's funny they ended up semi-confirming my ghost status. (It actually triggered me into dissociating which I didn't expect, but its kinda cool.) To clarify AROACE people are human. Being a human being is what makes someone human, not romance or whatever else.
Anyways I wrote this to procrastinate on finally deciding on whether to include the relationship or not.
Have a good day/night/morning/afternoon/idk/something!
1 note · View note
sceneboyfriend · 3 years
Text
Hello anxiety dump
0 notes
gb-patch · 3 years
Text
Ask Answers: May 15th Part 2
And here’s the next part of the long answer set of the day!
When will OL: N&F take place? Beginnings and Always took place during summer breaks, will now and forever take place during a fall break or will the characters be going to school at the time of the events we play through? 
It takes place over all of the fall season, so school will be happening in OL2. Some events do take place in school, though many times events only start after school is already out for the day, haha.
Hey!! I have kind of a weird question?? I’m sorry if it’s been answered before and I just haven’t seen it but is OL 2 taking place during the same years as OL 1? I’m just curious, thank you for such amazing games!!! 
It’s a similar time frame, but not 100% exactly same.
Do you have any idea when the demo for now and forever will be available? 
Hopefully this fall! But that’s not a guarantee.
Okay the crime show in Step 2: Growing up. Long blonde hair, police station, crime series? Was it The Closer? Because I’m the same age as MC and Cove and my mom was constantly watching that when I was 13. 😂 
Haha, yeah! The Closer and, to a lesser degree, Medium were the kind of shows I was referencing there. My mom also used to watch those back in the day.
Hey um this might be an odd question but if the setting of OL: N&F is  fall/autumn, what country or city will it take because my mind tells me it is either Poland or Canada. Also I can't wait for the game I am hyped 
It’s set in the USA again. We’d like to be able to have cameos and that’s easiest to do if the OL games take place in the same country.
Is it possible for the PC of OL to have non-seriously dated other people in the in between years even if they’ve had a consistent crush on Cove? 
You can causally date Baxter in Step 3 if you get his DLC and then ultimately choose Cove in Step 4. If you mean off-screen people, it doesn’t really come up, but you can certainly headcanon that. The game never says Cove is the only partner you’ve ever had.
Is there going to be a Kickstarter for Now and Forever as well? For like voiced names and stuff again? Didn’t find B&A until after it was released and I’d really love the opportunity to hear my name in the game 🥺 
Yeah, we are gonna have a Kickstarter with getting a voiced name as a reward! Though, it will be more expensive than it was for OL1. I feel bad to raise the price but we realized too late the first time around that it was being super undersold for the amount of work it took, aha.
Do you know how much the remaining DLC for OL will cost? (Step 4, Derek, Baxter) 
Step 4: Free
Wedding DLC: $2.99USD
Derek DLC: $4.99USD
 Baxter DLC: $4.99USD
Has an artist for the new position been picked yet?! I'm super excited for the new game! 
We did fill that spot. Thank you so much for taking the time to apply!
hmmm what would it take to get each of the XOXO jerk squad to feel the need to hug you? 
They’d have to first like you a fair amount, otherwise the most you’d get is maybe a pat on the shoulder. If they were attached, they might hug you if you broke down crying or if you gave them super good news.
Unless it’s Shiloh, of course. If you want a hug you only have to ask!
May i ask how the Derek DLC will work? I believe that there aren’t any memories in step 4 and doesnt derek’s dlc take place during that step? So will the dlc add memories? Thank you! 
Derek’s DLC will add five Moments to Step 2 (a new page will appear on that screen if you get the DLC). Then in Step 4 you’ll have to choose between playing the default epilogue or going through the Derek romance story.
Is the pc version on itch,io different from the steam version? Like an offline one or something? 
Steam has achievements, but that’s about it. Both can be played offline, if you prefer.
I've been wondering this for awhile, what determines if cove winds up with a ponytail in step 3? I've done multiple runs with different MCs with varying hairstyles. Or does it have to do with a particular moment in step 2? 
I’m afraid I can’t say exact choices that determine things. But generally it’s preference based options in the Step before that decide those things.
Any Floret Bond updates? 
No, the artist had to leave the project and it’s been on-hold. I’m not sure if I want to try working just with what we have or replacing it all entirely. The design is a bit too specific for us to easily find someone who could mimic it. Hopefully we’ll work things out later, though.
In step 3 is Cove's plan always to stay in sunset bird? 
Yeah. He is never ready at 18-years-old to make a big life change.
I love your content! If it's alright to ask, you answered in a previous ask about how Jeremy was too particular with what he likes his types to be romanceable with just any MC and it's sort of got me wondering.. What /are/ his types and/or preferences and such? Sorry if it's a lot! 
Jeremy likes stubborn jerks and will not date someone who’s sweet or even generally a decent person, haha.
uh, excuse me if you said this somewhere before, but how will step 4 be actually? Will it he like an actual step and have moments and dlc and all? Or will it be more like a long epilogue of some sort?
Will the step 4, the wedding and extra routes dlcs be paid too? Im just confused, sorry if im asking too much
Step 4 is only an epilogue, so it’s just a long series of scenes one after the other rather than a collection of Moments you can choose from.
The Step 4 epilogue is free, the wedding DLC, Derek DLC, and Baxter DLC cost money.
i’m not sure how much of the wedding dlc you have planned already, or if this would be to spoilery, but what kind of wedding traditions will be included? i keep thinking about how flustered cove would get over a garter toss & was wondering if we’d see a scene like that haha. obviously no worries if it’s not included, i’ll enjoy literally anything cove related 
I don’t know for sure yet, haha. Right now we’re focused on the parts before the big day. We’ll see how many scene alterations we can include for the wedding itself later on.
Hello! Firstly, thank you for creating such an amazing game like OL, and I couldn’t be more excited for OL2! Out of curiosity, are you looking for any writers to come on for OL2 or are you all pretty much set in that department? Just thought I’d shoot my shot haha but I’m still excited regardless ^^! 
We will be hiring writers for OL2 later this year! Thank you for the interest.
Will we be blessed with a spin-off Yandere Cove, like XOXO Blood Droplets? 
Sadly, no. It’s a shame but there’s not enough time to keep making OL1 bonus/spin-off content.
How is Q pronounced?
I’m afraid Q’s full name hasn’t been publicly announced yet so I can’t answer here (Q and T are the first letters of the names for the new LIs in Our Life: Now & Forever).
Question; is the steam version getting a Mac update?  I purchased the dlc there thinking it had Mac support without realizing it and just wondered if I’d need to refund it to purchase on itch.io 😭 
I’m really sorry, you will need to get a refund from Steam. We do hope to have it there for Steam eventually, but have no idea of when it’ll happen. Apple requires special notarization to be an officially accepted app for their devices. We don’t have that. Steam requires having that, Itch will let you release it as an non-notarized third party app. That’s why Itch is the only place that has the Mac version right now.
would you mind posting outfit sheets for Cove in every step? it would make things a lot easier for us artists. it would save a lot of time spent looking for references 
I think we did do the earlier steps when they were finished way back in 2019 (this game took a long time to make, aha), but we can probably repost them sometime!
In our life n&f, will we be able to get into qprs/will there be more options in regards to having deep platonic relationships with the love interests? Because as an aroace individual, it would be great if there could also be emphasis on platonic love so that it's more aspec inclusive. 
It’s a little hard to say at this point. There may not be things like a wedding DLC for OL2 and so the relationship for platonic and romantic feelings might not go as far as it did in the first game. We’ll kind of have to see how much we can do based on timeframe/budget constraints that will only be set near the end of the year. But we will be keeping things like that in mind at least.
hi! i really really like your game and im absolutely in love with it! i cant wait to try your other games like xoxo droplet and future OL NF :))
during the step 3 erands moment i got curious, which fudge flavor is his favorite? it seems like he likes all of them, but which 4 do you think he would like best?
also i noticed that in some playthroughs cove would let me give him a piggy back ride, and in some he wouldn't, how come?
how does your choices affect cove's interests or looks? i replayed the game without changing any choices but i got cove to look different, is it just random?
thank you!
Cove’s favorite flavors are ones with nuts and that are fruity! But he appreciates them all. Whether or not you can give him a piggyback ride depends on if your MC is fit/large enough to hold a muscular 6-foot-tall beach boy, haha.
Cove’s appearance does depend on choices and it’s generally tied to choices that are preference based rather than emotion/action based, such as which key chain you pick in Step 1.
Is it possible for cove to reject MC's proposal at the end of step 3? 
Nope. He’ll always accept.
hi! i was wondering how heavily the side characters will be featured in the our life wedding dlc? obviously it'll be cove & mc focused, but i was thinking it'd be sweet if we could take lizzie dress / suit shopping or dance with cliff at the wedding or something. 
The side characters are there about as often as they are in normal events. So, it’s clearly focused on Cove but he’s not the only person you have any meaningful moments with.
When will responses be sent out to applicants? 
I’m afraid we don’t send responses out to all applications, only ones we’re interested in offering the position to. Not everyone likes rejection emails and the amount of applications is too high to contact them all to say we’re not hiring them. We post updates on the job page when a position has news. Right now we’ve filled every role that was open.
Is there also going to be the option to keep your relationships with the love interests platonic in Our Life: Now and Forever? That's something I really appreciate in Our Life: Beginnings and Always
Yeah! OL will never force you to end up in a romantic relationship with someone.
I was wondering, in the Step 3 Happiness moment, what are the different fishes Cove can compare MC to? I got "you'd be a paradise fish, because being with you is paradise," but my friend got "you'd be an angelfish." Are there more variations? 
He says paradise fish if you’re a couple, angelfish if he’s just crushing, and then a royal dottyback/queenfish/emperor tetra (based on your gender) if he likes the MC platonicly.
Hello! So, in one of the Step 3 DLCs, Cove's arm was gone. I think it was to show him putting his arm behind his back. But if that wasn't the case, did it get yeeted? 
Thanks for letting us know. That was an error we tried to fix a little while back. When did you make the save file you were playing? If it was older that might be why it happened. Or maybe the error wasn’t fully fixed after all.
Asking for your opinion, but do you think Cove would at all be into ABBA? Because all I could imagine during the car trip in step 3 was him and the MC belting to Mamma Mia. 
Haha, yeah, there’d definitely be some ABBA songs he was into.
So throughout the game, Cove can develop different interests depending on the player’s choices; does this mean that he can have different careers in Step 4? Or his is line of work in adulthood never mentioned at all? 
He can have different career paths in Step 4!
Hi!! I'm so so sorry if this has been asked before but I just acquired knowledge about the so famous nsfw dlc for OL and nearly chocked on my bubblegum 💀💀💀 So, my real inquiry is if that specific moment will have any kind of impact at some point of the fourth step OR if it will just be treated as a side-story-ish “what if” scenario.Also, is there any chance there'll be something similar for Step 4? Haha jk,,, unless 😳Questions apart let me thank you profoundly for making the best visual novel I've ever played 😭 Really really looking forward the epilogue and OL2 💕 Have a nice day 
It’s just a bonus side story that’s fully separate from the main game.
It would be nice to have one for Step 4 too, but I sadly don’t see us having time to actually do it. I don’t know, if people are still asking for more OL1 content several months from now it might be doable and worth doing.
I'd just like to ask, when is Baxter's birthday :0 -- I'm really curious esp with their zodiac signs so ;w; 
I don’t know, haha. Maybe I’ll come up with one someday.
Please help!! I bought the Step 3 DLC but I still have no idea how to get to where you can propose to Cove - any tips? 
&
How do I get the option to propose to Cove at the end of the game?
You can click HERE for a discussion on that.
I love that Miranda and Terry are getting together! I'm curious if you have canon sexualities for them? Also just wanted to say how much I love OL and how much joy it brings me everytime I play it <3 
Terry likes ladies and Miranda likes dudes!
ngl Step 4 Terry's design reads like y'all see trans guys as their assigned gender more than you see them as men to me (a trans guy)... like maybe if he isn't heavily dysphoric, I could see it, but everything you've said about him doesn't line up with that. Even then, immediate warning bells go off in my head looking at him. I wouldn't have touched the game if I saw him ahead of time.
I’m sorry you aren’t comfortable with the way the design looks. The situation with Terry is that he’s now open about who he is, but the body he was born with is still physically the same. He only came out recently as an adult and hasn’t gone through any treatments/procedures yet (his chest is flatter because he wears a binder). However, even though his body hasn’t transitioned at the point Step 4 happens, no one treats him as anything other than the guy he is. Having a trans character who’s identity is supported/respected from the start is what we’re going for in this case. But what we’re doing with Terry isn’t the only trans content we’ve ever had/ever will have in the future.
how would baxter react to bae pyoun and vice versa? and can you please detailly explain both love interests personalities from our life 2: now and forever? i was just curious, sorry for dumb question!! 
I imagine it’d be pretty opposite experiences, haha. Bae would initially think Baxter is pushy and thoughtless, but would quickly realize, oh, he’s instead a soft, considerate boy. Very cute. Baxter would first be struck with the impression that Bae is charming and gentlemanly, but then would realize that, no, he’s a sarcastic asshole. And I’m afraid we can’t reveal the personalities for the next game yet.
Sorry if you've already answered this, but I have a question about the patreon exclusive moment you're working on. I was wondering if it's mainly going to be CGs or if it's mostly character sprites + backgrounds with some CGs.
Either way, thank you for doing the Lord's work and not only making Cove, but making this bonus moment as well 😌😌😌
It’s mostly sprites/backgrounds with two CGs!
—– —– —– —–
Thank you again for the interesting questions everyone :D
We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ   Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog
159 notes · View notes
angelicmichael · 3 years
Text
Imminient Annihilation sounds so dope - Chapter Ten
Michael Langdon X Reader
Summary: Reader and Michael continue to work through their issues and finally start to warm up to each other even further. 
Words: 5.9k+ …oops
Warnings: just normal IA warnings (swear words, manipulation, unhealthy relationships, enemies to lovers, slowburn, etc) anddd maybeee a bit of fluff 👁
A/N: hey guys! Sorry I haven’t updated this in a few months but hopefully this is satisfactory hehe. This chapter is kinda a turning point in the fic so I hope u guys like it!! Also I watched Jennifer’s Body as I finished this so.. do what u must w that information 😌 djdjd
Previous Chapter
Rain was never something you were accustomed too. Spending so much time in Los Angeles had made you partially spoiled when it came to the weather - which is why you knew immediately your day was going to be shit when you woke up to rain.
You tried to convince yourself that the emotions you were feeling weren’t complete disdain but rather just a pessimistic version of indifference.. or that’s what you hoped anyway.
You knew realistically that your day wasn’t already doomed before it even started; and that the rain was nothing more than a mere inconvenience.. However; you still felt justified in complaining, considering today was the day you were ripping the band-aide off and moving in to the apartment Michael had oh so graciously chosen to give you.
Your pessimistic mood surrounding the entire situation was inevitable, and that was something you didn’t even bother to resist or fight. It didn’t take long for your thoughts to quickly go south as you quickly packed. Hatred that seemingly came out of nowhere (but that you realistically knew was only temporarily dormant) wasted no time in blinding your judgement - making you feel a nearly nauseating amount of jealousy and anger for people who actually seemed to be fucking happy in their relationships and werent forced into.. whatever shitty living situation you knew you were bound to find yourself in.
An apartment with no strings attached was way too fucking simple, and you knew it was too good to be true. You knew you were basically walking into a trap, and for what reason were you doing that so willingly? Just so that maybe Michael could start to tolerate you? You resented yourself for even agreeing to this but you also understood you really had no other option.
However; personal feelings aside.. you still had a mission to accomplish. You still had to attempt to seduce Michael, and even though you were doing a shit job at that so far - you still had to try. You knew realistically it was only a matter of time before Cordelia would ask about the progress you've made, and you would have to tell her something.
You had to do this.
That's why you were (semi) blindly choosing to move in to a building you knew you absoluetly couldnt afford; and why you were sucking up your pride and choosing to become semi reliant on Michael.
No one from the coven knew, and for the time being you intended to keep it that way. After all, even though Mallory didnt exactly know that Michael gave you a whole ass fucking apartment - your sure she probably suspected that something important happened between you and Michael just from the short conversation you three harbored together. But for the time being, you didnt have to worry about that. You had bigger things that were on your mind.. like the actual apartment door itself that you currently stood in front of.
You held the keys limply in your hand, your bag slumped next to you as you procrastinated something as fucking simple as opening a door. How pathetic.
You continued to stall in the hallway regardless - thankful there was no one passing through to witness how ridiculous you looked. Your gaze fell south down to your keys which were cold in your hand. Dripping slowly with the subtle rainwater that managed to linger on them, along with the rest of your clothes.
Your skin stung from the cold that seemed stubborn to leave, and a nice change of clothes and a hot shower wouldnt be the absolute worst thing in the world..
Fuck.
You bit your lip in order to prevent letting the profanity from rolling off your tongue. Quickly getting a better grip on the keys (which only made you somehow colder) and numbly, hastily unlocking the door.
You pushed it open, letting the door hit the wall and taking a few steps inside before dropping your bag to the floor.. as well as your jaw.
No words could possibly convey how you felt as you noticed how the room was already illuminated with not only natural light from the already huge windows you could see.. but also with a warm, yellow artificial glow.
Was someone already here?
What the fuck?
The hatred and resentment you previously felt toward others earlier rapidly started to return - except this time it was targeted at one very specific person.
It didnt even register in your mind that the light could've been left on by accident or that people besides Michael actually existed that could be present in the room but.. you didnt care. Anger was the only emotion that was solely present in your body as you fully abandoned your bag by the door. Advancing forward; and only feeling more shock and disbelief with every step you took at the thought that he could very possibly be in (what was supposed to be) your space.
"Michael, I swear to God-"
"Y/n?” said a soft, feminine voice.
It was practically automatic how you froze. Just getting close enough to notice that it wasn’t Michael after all that was on your bed in your new studio apartment, but a woman sat on your bed instead.
For about two seconds, you were scared it was Madison but.. that was a stupid assumption within itself. The company you were with was from a far different nature than of which Madison was, even though at first glance the two woman might look or sound similar. There were so many qualities that distinguished Mallory from Madison. Brown, auburn hair.. dark eyeshadow.. and her classic black boots. It didn’t take long for your anger to fade away as you tried to not think about how logically this still didn’t make sense - walking closer to your bed anyway.
"How did you get in here? And since when did you ever break into peoples rooms?" You asked with a laugh.
Mallory echoed your laugh back, seemingly watching you and your behavior. As if she was expecting you to do something or to act a certain way.. like perhaps leave.
"I didnt break into your apartment but.. you should probably sit down." She spoke, before nodding off to her side. Nonverbally suggesting you to sit next to her.
You did as you were told. Noticing briefly before you sat down how nice the apartment actually was.. including the bed.
The walls, and most of everything in the apartment was a solid black. It looked sleek, and even though black paint made most rooms look small - the natural light helped keep things looking open which you appreciated. It was no surprise that the bed matched the dark theme too. The sheets were silky, black satin. You almost laughed at how comfortable the bed was once you sat next to Mallory, the entire situation was so ridiculous it nearly hurt for you to not laugh out loud. The two of you sat in the silence for a moment.. you were each incredibly anxious, that was more than apparent.
You looked up at Mallory, expecting her to speak first and explain herself since after all.. shes the one who broke into your apartment but she still remained quiet.. Stalling, you could only guess.
"So, why are you here? How did you even get in here? Is everything okay?" You asked, your words speedy and rushed.
Panic started to temporarily set in when you realized that something could be serisouly wrong with the coven, even though you knew how completly irrational it was to think that way with no evidence. What if witch hunters found them? What if someone preformed the seven wonders and it went wrong? What if the plan had suddenly changed with Michael?
Mallory seemed to pick on how anxious you suddenly were, putting a hand on your upper arm before making you meet her gaze. Her soft, hazel brown eyes immeadietly making your breathe slow. That was another reason you were so thankful for Mallory - the soothing, calming effect she seemed to have on everyone she met was something you never took for granted.. Espically now.
"Hey, nothing's wrong and nothing happened. I promise. I just wanted to see you and talk to you, and I figured we should catch up after Michael basically made me leave," Mallory explained.
You quickly nodded. Feeling guilt start to creep into your system once you remembered how Michael previously treated her.
"Yeah, youre right. I've been wanting to see you anyway and I'm sorry I didnt just call you last night or something.. and I know I cant control him but I'm still sorry for how Michael treated you. I shouldn't have brought you into that-"
"(Y/n), stop," Mallory said urgently. Shaking her head slightly in disagreement with your words. "Sure, Michael was acting like a dick but.. it's nothing I'm not exactly accustomed too. It was harmless," she ended her words with a smile. One that was meant to comfort you both at the epiphany her words brought.
You sat with her words for a moment. The realization suddenly hitting you like a truck-
"Wait.. what? Do you know Michael?"
Mallory fell completely silent. Looking at you almost in a.. guilty manner. Her gaze fell downwards before she looked up to meet yours once more, licking her lips anxiously before she uttered out a quiet reply.
"I wasnt going to tell you because I knew it would make you upset but.. Michael called me last night-"
"And you answered?" Your voice raised up a few octaves unwillingly. Threatening to break as you tried to process what you were hearing.
As much as you wanted to immeadietly jump to conclusions, you had to remind yourself that this was Mallory you were talking too. Your best friend, Mallory. You knew she would never do anything to intentionally hurt you.
You noticed Mallory was also starting to get tense. Her spine suddenly a bit too straight and her shoulders were rigid. It was nice to know you werent the only person in this situation who was feeling this way, although you would be lying if you were to say that you werent curious for why Mallory felt tense.
"At first, no but he kept calling so I figured it would cause no harm to see what he wanted so, I answered," Mallory said cautiously.
It was obvious she had more to say and as much as you wanted her to keep talking and fully explain herself - you were more than happy that you didnt have to cut her off again. It was too much. This was too much.
You pinched the bridge of your nose before loudly exhaling with a shallow growl. Not really caring that it probably was coming off like you were mad at Mallory when in reality, that wasn’t the case. Mallory wasn’t the problem; you were really just beyond fucking pissed at Michael.
But at this point.. that wasnt new news.
"I told him that we shouldnt be talking, but he insisted," Mallory continued with a shrug.
You tried to sit up straight again; trying to exhale some of the pure fucking anger that was currently coursing through your system. Your vision was spotted black when you opened your eyes - your gaze pointed upwards at the smooth, blank ceiling. Quickly wishing that you were anywhere else, or really anyone else at the moment.
What you wouldnt kill to swap bodies again.. but then again, who knows what the hell Michael was currently doing at the moment.. He couldnt be trusted.
That was more than obvious now.
You should've known that he would contact Mallory, but how he even got her number was beyond you.. Unless-
"How did he even get your number?" You asked. Your tone strikingly calm.
Mallory looked incredibly spooked when your head suddenly snapped over to look at her. As if she was worried you were angry at her still, and as much as you wanted to reassure her otherwise, you really didnt have the energy to do so anymore. Not at the moment anyway.
"You can't be mad when I tell you the answer, okay?" She said softly.
Your features immeadietly softened at her words. The rest of your body relaxed as well; your shoulders dropping and your jaw unclenching.
"Mallory, I could never be mad at you. You could never piss me off, i'm just.. frustrated at Michael. It's not at you, I swear," you said. Trying your best to make your words sound reassuring and genuine.
Mallorys reaction wasnt one that was verbal but immeadite nonetheless. Her arms suddenly shot out and wrapped themselves around you. Her body temporarily pressing into yours as your hands went to her back, before she quickly broke the hug.
"Promise?" Mallory prompted. Brown eyes looking diligently into yours.
"Yeah.. I promise. Just tell me what that idiot did,” you said halfheartedly.
"So.. I've had his number for a while. Not for too long but just since you two switched. But, we never really talked," Her voice stalled as she watched your reaction. Your mouth grew dry as you really tried to let it sink in that they've known eachother since- well for atleast a week. "But I knew immeadietly that it wasnt you.. that day. I'm sorry I lied, but Michael made me promise."
"Why didnt you just tell me?"
Mallory looked at you in a guilty manner. Her lips pursing shut as she looked solemnly at her shoes, avoiding eye contact. You knew exactly why she was being quiet - she didnt want to admit why she had lied but.. the answer was pretty obvious.
Even though Mallory was one of the strongest witches - almost stronger than Cordelia on some days, she still was scared of Michael and that was nothing worth holding a grudge over. After all he was still the antichrist, no matter how (mostly) harmless and idiotic he seemed to you now.
"Okay.. I guess that doesnt really matter," you admitted with a laugh. Figeting with your hands as you heard a shallow laugh omit also from Mallory, which made you smile. The shallow pit that resided in your stomach finally starting to let up. "But.. What did he call you about last night?"
Mallory hesitated again before giving you another subtle smile.
"It was mostly about you.. I know how you feel about him y/n, but its working. I promise you. Hes finally warming up to you. I just wish you could hear how he talks about you,” she spoke. Taking your hands into her soft, warm ones.
"I wish I believed that," You admitted.
"I wouldnt lie to you. Hes finally starting to warm up to you, plus it was obvious yesterday-"
"Yeah; It was obvious how strong he was coming onto you."
Mallory laughed again at your words. Shaking her head slightly in protest.
“Y/n you know that’s not true. The only reason why he was flirting with me was just to get to you.. I thought that was obvious.”
“It was obvious I just.. didn’t know that you knew that. I mean, Michael has Madison.. or he did so you think that would at least satisfy his flirting needs for a bit but.. Michael faking to be interested in you, that would mean he wanted a reaction out of me on purpose? Why would he-“
“You know why. You need to start cutting yourself slack and realize that maybee this rivalry is starting to be one sided.”
You pouted at her words at the realization that they actually held more truth in them than you were willing to admit. If Michael didn’t hate you anymore, if he was truly actually willing to be civil.. then why were you still so upset? Were you the one who was unintentionally causing problems now? Was it now you instead of Michael that was holding the relationship back?
How fucking stupid.
“I can’t trust him, Mallory. How can I when he and Madison literally tried to kill me. I can never forget that they did that to me.”
“I’m not asking you to forget what he did, y/n. I’m just saying that maybe it wouldn’t hurt to start having an open mind around him, and see where it gets you.”
You were struck silent, knowing that Mallory was completely right. If you wanted to have any hope at all of making things right with Michael (even though you really didn’t do anything wrong..) you would have to try a different approach because obviously; what you were doing now wasn’t working. Being snarky, and vaguely threatening him every chance you got was fun of course but- it wasn’t working. Even though Mallory was probably the sweetest person you knew, the fact your own best friend had to (very politely) make a intervention was.. not a good sign. Although, you knew Mallory was doing this for your best interest because if she didn’t say anything, then Cordelia certainly would.
And sadly, Mallory was actually right.
If you wanted things with Michael to advance any further; or to advance at all you needed to step things up but, you could always worry about that after Mallory left.
“So what, are you guys besties now or something?” You sneered.
“Shut up!” Mallory said with a laugh, playfully pushing you over a bit. “He’s barely even my acquaintance. The only reason he’s being nice to me is just to get to you, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I mean that’s the goal-“
“Do you think that’s the only reason?” You interrupted.
Your throat automatically tightened after you spoke, the threat of your words potentially being true coaxing you to silence. Your not sure why the thought of Michael using you made you upset.. it’s not as if you didn’t think he was doing it before but this time it was different. Perhaps it was because you finally thought Michael actually had some type of interest in you.. and to have that suddenly ripped away?
That would leave you beyond broken.. you knew that for certain.
Mallory looked at you solemnly, as if she was already resenting her words before she had to say them outloud.
“Look, I don’t exactly know Michaels intentions and I’m not going to pretend too.. I don’t really think anyone does at this point but I do know that regardless of your feelings, or even his feelings that.. you have to try.”
You let out a loud exhale.
“I mean you said it yourself.. Michaels so unpredictable, there’s no point in guessing how he feels so.. maybe I should just.. ask him?”
Realistically you didn’t know how good of a idea that was- but.. trying to remain realistic was something you gave up on days ago. Pretty much the same day you switched and that definitely wasn’t a coincidence by any means.
As soon as Mallorys mouth opened, you heard three loud knocks. Quick and rapid with no hesitation between them. The apartment nearly shook with the force of whoever happened to be at your door, and you certainly didn’t doubt that your neighbors heard the knocking as well.
Mallory looked at you in utter confusion, but stayed on the bed nonetheless with no sign of getting up. Naturally, you found yourself scooting closer to the end of the bed, knowing it was you who was going to have to get the door.. and that made you scared shitless. Not because you were necessarily scared to open the door but because you had a horribly bad feeling on who was on the other side.. There was only one person that you knew of that was aware of where you lived, and you knew it wasn’t matience or staff.
You knew standing up was the logical thing to do but you still stalled. Hands starting to painfully dig into the soft, expensive sheets that lie underneath you. You mouthed a silent, ‘what the fuck?’ to Mallory but your head snapped back at the door..
Three more knocks which were only louder and more persistent than the last.
“Coming!” You quickly called out.
It was pure anxiety that fueled your next actions. You quickly stood up from the bed, trying to walk hurriedly to the door as fast as you could and trying your damn best not to think.. Hoping Mallory also had a idea of who was at the door and also happened to get the fuck out of view.
You didn’t want a repeat of yesterday happening again today, and you knew you wouldn’t hesitate to slap Michael if he tried to flirt with her again. Even though, you knew you weren’t supposed to act like that anymore.. but why should you have manners if Michael refused them as well?
Opening the door swiftly and without a second thought; you stood breathless as you saw a familiar blonde standing in front of you.
You both stared at each other at first - each not daring to have the balls to say ‘hello’ or anything else for that matter.. You noticed how Michael first eyed you up, fully looking up and down your body (as well as peering behind you, hopefully not making eye contact with Mallory). You made a point to just look into Michaels eyes, refusing to do what he was doing.. whatever the fuck that truly was.
“How did you know I would be here?” You breathed.
“I knew it was just a matter of time before you’d come, but it also never hurt to charm the hotel staff a bit,” Michael responded swiftly without a second beat, almost as if he anticipated your words. His lips upturned slightly at the edges, in a way that nearly made your stomach sick.
“The hotel staff-?!”
“I have connections everywhere y/n, I thought you knew that,” he sneered.
He brushed past you as you continued to stand in shock. Your mouth slightly falling open as Michael took a few steps into your apartment - looking curiously around, almost as if he knew Mallory was here..
“I did.. I think that’s obvious,” you shot back hurriedly. “But thank you for the apartment again, Michael. I still feel weird taking it but it is nice I’ll admit,” you continued. Hoping to make him turn around to look back at you and hopefully not find Mallory.. Which worked. At least for a few seconds at least.
Michael made direct eye contact with you for a moment, almost as if he wanted to speak but was deliberately choosing not too. Instead he turned around, walking in deeper in the apartment.
Your mouth immediately dropped open - your feet carried yourself forward as you started to feel a bit numb with shock- not knowing even in the slightest how you were going to handle the situation if Mallory didn’t fucking move.
Sure enough..
“You always manage to linger.. don’t you?” Michael spoke.
It took only a couple steps for you to fully realize he wasn’t speaking to you. You only saw his backside as you approached them. Quickly meeting Mallorys gaze as you came into view.. Her brown eyes darker than ever as she peered up at you.
This time it is nearly impossible to distinguish whether she looked in agony from Michaels appearance or yours; since you apparently interrupted them. Her gaze quickly returned back to meet Michaels before you could think anything of it.
“I’m not here to see you, Michael.” Mallory announced. Her tone harsher than what you were expecting what apparent friends would use.. Were they even really friends?
Mallory suddenly stood up while Michael was still standing a few feet in front of her. Making eye contact with Michael for a split second before almost ducking around him before she stood in front of you.. leaving Michael speechless behind her. She quickly hugged you, her arms only embracing you for a split second before leaving. It was obvious she was in a hurry to leave now but.. you weren’t sure exactly why.
“I should get going, you and Michael have a lot to talk about,” she subtly smiled before turning to leave.. not letting you reply or have any sort of reaction to her words.
You stood solemnly as you heard Mallory’s footsteps gradually go farther away, before hearing the door open and close. You watched Michaels back as he refused to turn around.
“How was your nice chat with Mallory?”
“Why are you asking? Am I not allowed to see her or something?” You bit back. Your words possibly twice as venomous as his were.
Michael hastily turned around, looking at you with utter disbelief. His blue eyes looking into yours, as if he was suddenly surprised by your tone and how you were acting - as if his behavior didn’t proceeded yours.
“You need to relax,” he snapped. He approached you until he was right in front of you. “I wasn’t asking because I’m trying to control you, I know that’s what your thinking,” His words fell soft until they were nearly inaudible. “I just wanted to ask what she talked to you about.”
“About us?” You prompted.
“Well what else would she be talking to you about,” he snickered. His words spoken as more of a statement than a question. His laughter quickly dwindled off after he saw how rigid your frame suddenly looked. “Kidding. For the most part.. she said she was going to talk to you, and I figured I should actually speak to you this time rather than her.”
“Are you.. actually trying to trust me, Michael Langdon?” You teased. A smile, as well as laughter escaped from your lips at the mere thought.
Even though the thought was amusing on its own, you still didn’t completely trust him. Even now when he had Mallorys trust (for the most part), you still didn’t doubt that he had a ulterior motive.
Michael finally stepped back, hesitantly breaking eye contact before inaudibly beckoning you to follow him.
“I’m trying, just like how I told you I would,” He hauntingly reminded you.
You followed him silently to the long leather couch that sat by the overly expansive windows. Sitting down next to him in a way that felt almost too casual.. but being casual around Michael and not borderline fearing for your life was something you would have to adjust too.
You noticed how he instantly slipped his shoes off; drawing up his feet on the couch.. his arms and as well the rest of him contained. Away from you.
“So if your trying.. now,” you suggested uncertainly. “Then.. tell me why you came here to talk suddenly again? I mean why not just go through Mallory again like you’ve doing previously?”
“(Y/n), please. Take me seriously and just trust me for once,” His words came out quick and stern as he spoke them. “I was being serious yesterday, as well as all the other times when I told you I wanted to start.. putting effort in and trying.”
You stared at Michael utterly dumbfounded.. Feeling a bit hopeless that you actually felt almost.. touched by his words. That’s if he was actually being serious, anyway.
“What does trying mean to you?” You asked carefully. Your mind naturally went back to Madison.. were they even broken up yet? Was that even something that Michael was willing to do for you, and how was that something you could just ask? “What about-“
“Madison’s fine. She’s fine.. with everything,” he replied hesitantly.
You simply ignored the fact that he seemed to pick up what you were talking about almost immeadietly.. focusing on rather the latter part of the sentence.. that she was okay with everything?
“So she knows? That you’re here?”
“Yeah. She knows but that’s besides the point. Madison isn’t a part of the equation anymore, I don’t want to talk about her,” He spoke as if his words were final and not to be argued with, but his tone wasn’t angry. He was just done.. and you were too.
You wish that wasn’t the case though. Cutting Madison off didn’t sit right with you in the slightest, and it would definitely have to be something that would have to be mended later. That was a given.
Madison and Michaels relationship was far too close for them to suddenly split and remain like that forever - it was temporary, but so is everything really. That shouldn’t phase you but - it still managed too.
“Okay. I’m sorry, I didn’t-“ you started.
“It’s fine. I knew you would ask.. She’s the reason why I’m here actually,” His eyes broke contact and averted down to his hands. “I don’t mean that as in I’m not here to see you but, it was something she said that brought me here.” He continued, his voice almost growing soft now at just the mention of his ex girlfriend.. and now, you felt like you actually were starting to understand his point of view. Not fully but, it was clear that Michael was trying to be more open with you, and this time he wasn’t ‘fake’ drunk.
It took nearly everything in you to not immeadietly retort but just like the night where you were at the party; you tried to fully hear him out since this was apparently one of the few times he was being civil.
“So Madison gave you advice and you actually took it?” You said while laughing softly. Trying to lighten the mood since Michael seemed to be brooding.
Michael didn’t laugh back but instead his gaze flickered up to meet yours for a moment. The corners of his mouth upturning in a shallow smile that only lasted for a few seconds.
“I did because it made sense.” He said, his tone still remaining serious. You noticed how careful he was being with his words.. something that was typical for Michael to do but this time it seemed a bit too deliberate. You wanted to ask what exactly Madison even told him to do but.. that felt wrong. “It was also the right thing to do.. Being close to you is something I should’ve done a while ago, probably immeadietly-“
“But what’s in the past; stays in the past. And since your so adamant about being close to me.. we can always try now,” you cut in.
Michael continued to sit a good distance away from you; you thought it was ironic how he could talk about wanting to get close with you but wouldn’t dare to move any closer. That thought made your pride a little bit too happy.
Right before he could open his mouth to say something; his phone rang. The sound suddenly earsplitting and blaring but Michael didn’t bother to flinch. Instead he stood up and answered his phone.. making sure to nearly trek across the apartment before he said anything into the phone.
You stretched and casually examined him as he talked, you had a feeling who it was on the line..
After how tense things were with Mallory - you knew they probably weren’t going to be on friendly terms anytime soon.. especially in front of you. And judging by how.. oddly relaxed he seemed (yet timid when he caught your gaze and realized you were staring), it had to be one person.
You were about to sink back into the couch and try your best to not speculate what they were talking about, but before you could fully turn - you realized Michael was sauntering towards you.. clearly still on the phone.
Oh fuck.
Before you could ask what was wrong, the look he gave you alone ushered you to silence.
He quickly held the phone away from his ear. A quick glance at the screen confirmed that the call was still active.
“You said you forgive Madison.. right?” He spoke lowly. His words barely audible, more so mouthing the words than actually speaking them.
You looked at him with a expression you’re sure looked as if you were furious but you were really just completely confused. You wanted to ask but.. there was no time if she was on the phone, but knowing what you were about to get yourself into would also be nice to know.
His eyes had since lost the sharpness that had nearly cut you earlier, instead swarming with urgency and a bit of panic.. It had to be Madison. The only person that could ever have that effect on Michael was Madison.
You simply nodded in response. Not trusting yourself to speak quietly outloud but you also didn’t exactly trust your response because it wasn’t exactly truthful, but Michael seemed to be level headed.. for now.
Michael immeadietly turned and held the phone back up to his ear, this time staying in closer proximity and within ear shot. Putting on his shoes as he continued to hold the conversation he was having.
“Okay
...
So when are you coming?
...
Great, see you then. . . Bye.”
If you didn’t just hear the words that you thought you had heard.. you knew under normal circumstances your heart would’ve ached when you realized how Michael hesitated before he said goodbye, most likely catching himself before he said ‘I love you’. Instead though, you felt a gruesome wave of nausea suddenly rise through you.. urging you to shakily stand up and speak without thinking.
“She’s coming to see you?”
Michael barely gave you a second glance as he turned around and started to head for the front door of the apartment.
“Yes. You’ll be seeing her too, don’t worry.” He spoke before he quickly let the door shut behind him.
You continued to stand, utterly speechless.
Part of you wanted to run after him and the other part merely wanted to scream in anger that he had already made fucking plans but instead you felt numb. Numb and calm.
You returned to your bag and unpacked, trying your best to not let your emotions consume you like they previously had too many times.. until you finally broke down and called Mallory.
Taglist: @michaellangdonstanaccount @langdonsexual @jimmason @blakescoven @dark-mei-rose @9layerdevilfoodcake @prophecy-is-inevitable @matildaofoz @beautyiswithinchaos @frenchlangdon @king-with-no-crovvn @melodylangdon @littledemondani @langdons-pinkyring @celestialrequiem @sojournmichael @mindlesschicca
Let me know if u would like to be added or removed to the taglist!!
88 notes · View notes
cwispyhologwam · 3 years
Text
Admit it. Rick Sanchez X F!Reader
Word count: 2,382
Rick was... out of it, I guess you could say he was still himself, but not really he just seemed, off. When Morty tried to ask if anything was wrong, Rick would respond in a "normal" Rick way but, it seemed forced. It was barely noticeable but he could tell, even though after Rick basically told him to fuck off he dropped it. It was just after the whole incident with Unity, which didn't make sense to Morty because it seemed like Rick had gotten what he needed and wanted from her, or it, or they, he didn't really know how to refer to the entity, but that's besides the point.
He had spent the whole night in the garage when Morty woke up for school the next morning he found his grandfather passed out at his work bench with a strange device looming over his head. Morty didn't know why but looking at it sent dread coursing through his body, he had a feeling he knew someone who could help him and his grandpa. She was... Rick's friend? (Y/n) (L/n), well honestly he didn't know what their relationship was at the moment, because a few years ago she used to visit daily but again that was years ago, he thinks they might have gotten in a fight or something. But if anyone could help him, it was her.
So he asked his mom to give him a ride to her house, but it took some convincing because what mother wouldn't question why her 14 year old son is going to a 23 year olds house by himself, like what kinda porn set up type bullshit, but after he explained his concerns for his grandpa she agreed. Once he got there he told his mom he would get a ride home and she complied and left. He rang the doorbell of the large house and waited, once the door opened he felt like all the air had been knocked out of his lungs.
She was absolutely gorgeous, her (S/C) skin looked so beautiful in the sun's light and her (long,short,medium) (straight,curly,wavey, kinky) (H/C) hair was beautiful. She was (Tall/short) and (Skinny,medium,thick) it made Morty wonder if her and Rick were ever more than friends at one point. What really got to him was what she was wearing, it was a matching set, a long sleeve sweater and shorts  "Morty? Hello? You alright there kid?" He snapped out of his trance and nodded "Sorry, and sorry again for showing up unannounced but i need your help."
She looked at him for a couple of seconds before sighing "Listen first come in it's weird talking outside like this, and second, if this has anything to do with Sanchez I'm sorry but i can't help you." He frowned, why did she call him Sanchez? And why did her (E/C) eyes look so sad when she said it? He came in and she led him to her living room where they sat on the couch "So what happened?" He asked her, he really thought if he knew why she suddenly stopped talking to Rick he would be able to help "Morty, i guarantee if Rick is going through something right now it hasn't got anything to do with me, we haven't talked in years."
How did she know? "How do you know that's the problem?" he asked, she giggled playfully rolling her eyes at him "Rick and i used to work together, well if you could really even call it that, it was more like working next to each other and having conversations. But we were also intimate with each other and i know the only reason you would be here without him is because there's a problem concerning him."
His eyes widened if Rick worked with her that could only mean that she was a genius too, so if they were partners and lovers in one way or another then how could she not be the problem? But then again they hadn't talked in years. She was right there was no way she could be the cause of his grandpa acting strange. With that he felt pretty much defeated, what now? He didn't know how to contact anyone else or even who to talk to, it took him almost two weeks just to find her and she lived on earth there was no way in fuck he’d be able to get in contact with anyone else without Rick.
"So what do i do now (Y/N)? I just want grandpa Rick to go back to normal, I can tell he’s faking being his old self." He sighed and dropped his head, his shoulders slumped, he resembled a kicked puppy in all honesty, they stood in silence for a while before she sighed, "Have you met Unity? Or has he talked to them recently?" she asked with an almost sour look on her face, Morty nodded "Well there you go, she probably fucked him then left again" Morty had an oo0oh moment and nodded.
"Just like all things he'll get over it, now i think it's about time i take you back home yeah?" He nodded, but now he felt kind of bad she seemed really, bothered by something . "(Y/N) have you ever liked Rick? Or you know when you used to come over a lot were you together?" He asked as they walked out the door and to her car. "Yes, we did date at the time, well what i thought was dating until he bluntly told me it was nowhere near that and i was just quote un quote, "something to do." As they got in the car Mortys mouth dropped open no wonder she just disappeared from their life like that.
"i-im sorry Rick’s a real dick sometimes" she shrugged and focused her eyes on the road, ”Listen Morty your grandpa is a lot of things, a dick especially, and when it comes to emotions, especially his own, he becomes a coward, please Morty i know you've picked up about 300 shitty casualties from him but avoid that like your life depends on it. Okay? Or at least promise to try?” Morty could tell how serious she was without even looking at her.
 The rest of the ride was silent, once she pulled into the driveway of Morty’s house she groaned seeing that the garage was open and Rick was standing in front of it. With his arms crossed, the moment his eyes landed on (Y/n) she felt her stomach drop, her hands were shaking, which Morty noticed. "Fuck me" she said under her breath, Morty got out the car but she stayed still almost frozen. "B-Bout damn time yo-ughh- you got here." Morty groaned "How did you even know I left?" Rick rolled his eyes "your mom o-obviously di-ugh-dipshit." Morty shook his head and waved goodbye to (y/n).
She waved back, she jumped when she realized Rick was now at her window motioning for her to get out she rolled her eyes before reluctantly getting out. He looked her up and down before stopping and staring at her lips, his eyes just sat there for a good minute before she cleared her throat. "Did you have something to say or did you just wanna stand here lookin’ stupid?" He scoffed before taking a swig of his flask "Y-You know yo-ughhh you never wer- seemed like one to hold a g-grudge. Thought yo-you wou-ughh would have got- been over it b-by now."
she stared at him with a blank expression before she back handed him sending him stumbling "wha-what the fuck!?" he exclaimed as he looked at her he was gonna say more till he noticed the tears streaming down her expressionless face "How long have we known each other rick?" he looked at her questionably "hey y-your ughh c--" she cut him off her voice a little louder than before "How fucking long rick?" he stood up right and looked into her watery (e/c) eyes as he held his cheek. "5 years" she nodded "and how many times in those 5 years did you introduce me to the many girls you fucked, the girls you ploughed mindlessly just to get off?”
he looked at her questionably again "none." he said simply "how many of them did you introduce to birdperson, or squanchy, or the people you know from other fuckin universes, Matter of fuckin’ fact, how many of those whores did you see walking around with different dimension ricks at the citadle?" he didn't have to think at all before saying "none" she nodded
"Rick not only, not fuckin’ only did you introduce me to squanchy, birdperson, and other Rick’s and their (y/n), when you decided you were ready to go back into Beths life you introduced me to your family, to your only daughter, to your nephew, your niece, and the dickhead that you cant fuckin’ stand for knockin you daughter up, that that in itself should be enough proof that im not just a hole off the street for you to have fun with" he stood silently still looking into her (e/c) eyes.
"And that the crazy fuckin’ thing rRick! not once did we even have sex, we never went further than sleep naked together! So for you to have looked me directly in my fucking face, and tell me that I was simply something to do didn't hurt, what hurt was the fact that you lied! You lied Rick! Straight through yo motha fuckin’ teeth! The fact that you're a genius doesn't mean shit to me when you don't even have the damn brain capacity to admit when you care about someone! You are a fuckin coward! I know you're scared to be hurt again, fine! But dont fucking pussy out and act like the shit that we had meant nothing!"
Rick was at a lost for words he didn't want to get attached to anyone since Diane and he knew that, he watched as (Y/n) wiped the tears from her eyes ``It hurts like a bitch to love someone so much, and to know that they love you back but won't admit it, it just makes you feel like they’re ashamed of you, like you're ashamed of me, Rick i asked for nothing when we first met." she sighed
“I told you that i just wanted to learn, you took that as if i can get the bitch to trust me enough i can eventually fuck her, yet you never even made a move Rick, your exact words were, i dont want you talking to anyone else, and i accepted that as your fucked up way of asking me out. i never once asked to label us because i already knew what we were, i thought i actually meant something to you.” The two sat in silence for a couple minutes she had hoped he would say something, and when he didn't she shook her head and got ready to get back in her car " I have to go, tell Morty to come see me whenever i guess." she turned ready to get in her car till she fell through a lime green portal. She landed in Rick's room, on his bed to be exact Rick soon came in after opening another portal and walked through.
“When normal people want to talk they usually use their words.” she said as she rolled her eyes and stoop up intending to leave, she wasn't the person she was 5 years ago, he couldn't kiss and caress his way out of this one. She was sick of him talking his way out of things his words couldn't be trusted and his actions were misleading so at this point fuck it, fuck him, fuck his hugs, his kisses, his scent, fuck the way he looked at her with longing eyes and made her weak in the knees. 
Fuck everything, enough was enough, either he wanted to be with her, or he didnt those were his options, she hadnt even realized tears were freely falling down her (S/C) cheeks, she was shaking, she had tried to pursue a relationship with at least 10 other men and it all failed, she was taping her foot fast with her arms crossed as she kept looking at the ground 
She didnt want him to see her like that the man had barely said a fuckin word and here she stood crying her eyes out, damn near hyperventilating “I’m sorry … you’re right, i am a fuckin coward and everything you said is true … fuck this is making me nauseous, all this sappy bullshit, to sum up this shit show of our relationship i love you, i am a cunt for pulling that bullshit, like you didnt mean anything to me because unfortunately you do, i gave into the pathetic chemical reaction that makes me just as human and vulnerable as the rest of our shitty race, hell i might even be a little less Rick because of this shit but if it means you wont disappear again …. It's worth it.”
She slowly approached Rick and buried her face in his chest as she cried, finally the dickhead admitted to well, being a dickhead and a liar, and a coward, and a cunt pussy shit fuck bastard, and his way of apologizing, it was.. Shitty but that's what she expected, he held her tightly kissing the top of her head inhaling her sent messaging her scalp through her (kinky,curly,thick,straight) hair
Once again they'd be sharing the night together she already knew he wasn't letting her leave so after she had stopped crying and did all the things she needed to do before she went to sleep she crawled into bed with him usually shed sleep on his chest but tonight rick insisted on sleeping on her chest probably his way of making sure she stayed there. Of course the two were butterball ass naked it was the only way she could sleep, “i love you” rick said just as she was drifting to sleep she smiled and kissed his forehead “i love you too.”  
99 notes · View notes
Text
um no nuance november: atla edition?
this was all over tiktok and ive seen some people do it here so...here we go...some of these are probably hot takes, you have been warned.
most of the fandom seems to forget that katara is a young girl with deep-seated trauma that she never truly dealt with. cut the racism and misogyny. shes not the “token straight,” shes not annoying, shes not technically the “mom friend,” she deserves a better life (and life partner) than she was given in canon.
katara’s comment to sokka during the southern raiders was harsh don’t get me wrong, but it was justified 
most of my issues with characters fall on their writing...not the characters themselves if that makes any sense
bakoda should have been canon
why didn’t katara, toph and zuko reunite in korra (they’re literally my three faves i was robbed, plus they all just seem sad...)
mako is hot
if we are talking combat, earth is the strongest element...toph can genuinely just drop a rock on someone and its over
republic city is absolutely unnecessary and frankly, stupid. capitalist propaganda :) why would you american-ize this series? im baffled
i just hope that azula got therapy and some love...her actions were outrageous but as far as we know she was conditioned by ozai to just be a pawn
katoph = best duo (friendship and fighting) in the whole show
katara is not a sister to zuko...that role is for toph
(as much as i love firelord zuko) zuko should have waited at least a few years to actually assume the position but even then i truly think he would hate it and institute a democracy
the humor did not land in for me in lok (list of tried and failed for me is meelo, bumi, bolin, varrick, eska...)
i truly did not feel any strong emotional attachment to any lok character (causing me to be pretty indifferent to most of the entirely new editions to the show)
(i think the large cast did not allow for much development for really anyone, save for korra tenzin and maybe lin?, leaving them all to be pretty two dimensional.)
more rambling under the cut (its more shippy you have been warned...)
the fanon portrayal of aang is a glorified version of the canon (you can criticize your faves!)
aang being a “bad” father in canon fits his (poorly written) character 
TAANG IS GENIUS (it makes me like aang more :)
i dont think maiko is healthy...at all (same for bolin and eska and zhu li and varrick) - bottom line: bryke cant write relationships
building on that it felt weird for zuko to change throughout book 3 for him only to revert back to his old life in the finale by staying with mai
sokka and suki are the only valid canon couple
also why is everyone so quick to be “oh suki is bi!!” but so much of this fandom feels the need to say “no, katara is the token straight she can’t be bi...” it seems so silly to say but katara hatred is so normalized in this fandom and it makes me so upset. literally everyone would be fucking dead if it werent for her i love my queen fuck y’all
kanna would not have gone back to pakku
MAILEE BITCHES
why are most zukka shippers women...food for thought
peace by taylor swift is a zutara song...zukkas dont even try to claim that
zutara works...it just seems like antis forget that these two characters (even if it is not explicitly romantic in atla) have such a strong bond. they listen, care, and look out for one another...and bottom line they see each other as equals. (also watch the second half of tsr again...they play off each other and work so well together)
this fandom demonizes zutara shippers for absolutely no reason while completely disregarding actual problematic issues that occur throughout the rest of the fandom
suki in the comics is practically a katara stand in
makorra felt like an attempt to appease the zutara shippers (it failed immensely)
should we love kuvira as much as we do? should we be shipping her with korra...?
in canon it does make sense that sokka could have been suyin’s father, but where did suki go? were they hinting that zuko and suki had izumi, meaning that sokka and suki broke up? but WHY? they were literally perfect with absolutely no complication in canon...tldr: post-atla is so ridiculous
i think this feels salty...and i went on for too long...i needed to get that out...um...
116 notes · View notes
zekidork · 3 years
Note
I wanted to write about that I think vampires have two types of hunger/thirst physical and emotional. What do you think about this?
Ooooh, I’ve been thinking about the vampire’s relationship with blood recently. There’s so much to unpack in general when it comes to a vampire’s thirst, but I think I’ll try to stick to a few points. 
I most definitely agree that there is an emotional component to thirst in a vampire’s desire for blood.  These signs are all over the place (and I’ll get into them in just a sec), but when it comes to a physical thirst, I’m not so sure about that. So let’s start with the physical one first, since I’m more in disagreement with you here. 
I don’t believe there’s a physical aspect to a vampire’s thirst/hunger; then again, I would like to maybe know what you mean by physical hunger/thirst. From what I understand of the term, it seems like you’re referring to a thirst/hunger that would need to satisfy the physical needs of a vampire. If that’s what you’re referring to, then I disagree. One of the main reasons, which was recently brought up by the perceptive Taro in ch.30, is that vampires also eat food just like humans. Blood does not replace food for vampires, they still need to eat normal foods (while I’m sure starvation won’t kill them). This means that blood isn’t a necessity in biological terms, but more of an emotional need. 
Even when blood is referred to as food by vampires, I still don’t believe that it’s in the same sense as it would mean to be hungry for breakfast, for example. It’s rather more like when someone who’s addicted to sugar says “I’m craving some chocolate bars”, which is technically food, but you don’t need chocolate bars to survive. Okay, so while blood is a substance and can be referred to as ‘food’, it isn’t necessarily food like what meat and vegetables would be (which contain important vitamins and other important nutritional factors to help keep the body healthy). Another reason why I don’t think the hunger for blood is a physical one is with how young vampires act towards blood. Vampire children don’t have strong enough fangs in order to bite a person, so they simply suck on an individual’s “life energy”. If it were a physical hunger, than even vampire children would need blood to survive (their cravings wouldn’t start during puberty). 
There’s a lot more evidence showing that a vampire’s hunger for blood is on the emotional side. It’s funny because I’ve been thinking about making a post to analyze what blood means to vampires and just how much it symbolizes in the story (there’s literally so much to unpack), but I’ll try to stick to the point. Anyways, I’ll name a few aspects that appear often in the manga to prove my point. 
“Only the blood of the vampire’s true love can satisfy their thirst”. This aspect was brought up a little later in the manga, but it was technically always there. The feelings of ‘love’ and a vampire’s thirst for blood are clearly intertwined, which only happens if the desire for blood is correlated to emotions. If vampires are only satisfied with the blood of the one they love, than that means that their emotions play a key role into how they desire for blood. For example, Yuuki throughout volumes 11 to 19 was going through a lot of issues when it came to who’s blood she desired, since she said that she’s “still attached to Zero”, which meant that her thirst couldn’t be entirely quenched. This sort of thing could only happen if emotions were related to the desire for blood.
“Think of blood as a drug”. I know this might sound crazy, but in some ways, blood and the desire for blood are heavy metaphors for drug addiction. It’s as though vampires are born drug-addicts as their nature, but they still need to eat and drink water and do all the other human things. One of the main things that shows how blood can be seen as a drug is how certain vampire classes react to it: the purebloods and aristocrats are able to handle their thirst, since they are born with the desire to drink blood, they grew up and were raised to handle it. However, the level E’s weren’t born that way, so they don’t know how to handle this obsessive desire. That’s why they act like maniacs; they lost their sanity because they were consumed by the emotional compulsion to desire blood, to the point where it hurts them physically. 
Funny story, when I was younger, I actually confused level E vampires with monsters because that’s how much they seemed insane to me. Then I later found out that they are quite conscious of their actions and are capable of conversation (as seen with Zero’s bizarre habit of sometimes talking to his prey before killing them). This actually makes the level E’s seem darker, since it’s essentially like they cant help it (that’s why even Kaname was impressed of Zero’s sanity in the initial parts of the manga, because it’s almost impossible to go against the voice in a level E’s head that’s screaming to attack anyone on sight). 
Addiction has nothing to do with physical needs and everything to do with emotional needs. When someone is addicted to something, it’s usually related to their psychological behavior. And while purebloods and aristocrats don’t act like lunatics towards blood, they still crave it. Basically all vampires are inclined to desire blood, but some can’t handle it while others can:
Purebloods, Aristocrats and level C: Blood to them is seen as candy. It’s tasty and they have a “sweet-tooth” for it. *Think of how Hanabusa was metaphorically going shopping for blood types when he was asking the Day class students “what’s your blood type?” during St. Xocolatl’s day. It’s as though he was at a store looking at different candy bars and was choosing which one to eat.*
Level D vampires: As long as they have a master, they too would most likely look at blood like some sort of candy. But maybe it might be seen as something a little more important or addictive, since I’m guessing they’re addicted to their master’s blood.
Level E vampires: Blood is a literal drug to them (like alcohol, cigarettes, caffeine, you name it). They feel like they need it, and they constantly need it since their is no satisfying their thirst. It goes to the point where they kidnap people and commit crimes just so that they can satisfy their thirst (and even there it’s not enough). 
While each vampire class have their levels of intensity of desire towards blood, it still comes back to the point that they all emotionally/psychologically desire blood to the point where their body physically reacts to not having some (like withdrawals). Paleness of the skin is an example of one of the physical symptoms of this.
I really could go on and on, but I’m afraid that’s enough of my disorganized thoughts. So yeah, I personally believe that a vampire’s hunger comes down to the emotional/psychological needs/desires of a vampire, which in turn affect the physical aspect of their lives. But there isn’t an actual physical need for blood, from my understanding. Once again though, I’m really curious as to what you mean by “physical hunger”, I would love to hear your thoughts (if you don’t mind). And if you are going to write a post on the subject, I can’t wait to read it!
Thanks again for your ask!
39 notes · View notes
uncertaininnit · 3 years
Text
who wants to read an essay about my relationship with simping/an appreciation(/simping lol) post about Will+Eret and also seperately tommyinnit that was written at 4:22 am and then added to the queue because i love the queue system also fun fact i pronounced the word ‘queue’ as ‘cc-week’ for like an entire year and idk why anyways
lets just jump into it
lol
so. if somebody was to ask me who my favorite mcyt is, i would think about it for a moment and eventually answer with either Wilbur or Eret. and i think that is purely out of simping instinct or whatever the fuck. 
to start, Wilbur; the prettiest man, period. i do not take constructive criticism. he is literally gorgeous and i get so mad at him for putting himself down all the time because he doesnt deserve the shit, especially not from himself. he is 24 years old and has the lowest self-esteem out of anybody i can think of. i want to yell in his face all the time. i want to tell him simps are the same species as him, and they have REASONS to simp. if you keep seeing appreciation posts about yourself (which im sure he does) that means people APPRECIATE YOU and WANT YOU to feel APPRECIATED. 
anyway, back to simping. let’s start from the top. his goddamn hair. it is, it is, and i just took a deep breath, so pretty. maybe it isnt the hair itself, probably, but the way it is done. wavy dark brown hair all floofy in the front. and he is constantly messing with it, which is THE cutest thing. when he is excited, he moves a lot, and his hair moves with him and gets messed up and ahhhcvkvyr moving on.
his face? lets start with his eyes. they are so pretty. i think my opinion on eyes is probably weird, and allow me to explain why. i never ever notice somebodies eye color when talking to them. i just dont even look. so when i am actively paying attention to somebody’s eyes, they are that much more important to me. but idk, i kinda feel like his eyes are one of the biggest factors of his face? like, he looks really pretty whether he is smiling or not, because his face doesn’t ride on his smile.
sidetrack paragraph about george: i think george is that way. he is adorable, but he is only really adorable when he is smiling. if i look up ‘georgenotfound cute’ it will be entirely him smiling, and never any other facial expression because he genuinely looks like the fucking weirdest thing sometimes when making a serious face. back to will.
i dont pay attention to noses because who even cares dude but i’m sure his nose does a good job of supporting his looks as well so good job nose
his SMILE. he doesn’t need to smile, but dude, when he does, it’s like i always used to say (and still would say) in regards to eijiro kirishima. it’s like... sunbeams, like rays of light are in his mouth and escaping when he smiles.i wonder how he keeps a star in there. because his smile literally lights up my heart. and when he tilts his head(basically all the time luckily)? so goddamn pretty. pretty man. pretty. 
that brings us to his neck, which is- no, kidding, but i do want to talk about his vocal chords! firstly his speaking voice, which i guess as an american it hits different for me because of the accent. but- i dont think i can put it into words. but the way he puts thoughts into words-(lol) idk, his voice is just really sweet. and his SINGING VOICE, here we go.
so he sings, duh. and i- holy fuck. he just sounds good, you know? he is a good singer. i want to put my emotions simply this time. he sings well, and he sounds good. a pretty voice for a pretty man. i cant even try to elaborate.
basically the only other thing of my concern is his fucking yellow sweater? or jumper or whatever the fuck? and his beanie? on his body? damn. i am genuinely attached to that sweater. it just looks good, ok? it does. 
oh yeah, and he’s hella fucking tall. 6′5? are you kidding? you couldn’t have at least been short so we could make fun of you?
oh yeah and his laugh-
it is now 4:53 am and a bitch is tired but i have an entire fucking train of thoughts and they must be somewhere before they slip away
the next part- Eret. i adore Eret. so incredibly much. and let me start this by saying i’m going to consistantly call him a he, because he doesn’t care and so that makes it easier for me. ok? ok.
he is the opposite of Wilbur in this one regard, confidence. and self-esteem. eret loves himself. that attitude spreads. look, not only is he like the #1 bicon in the world as far as i’m concerned, but he also actively fucks gender roles any day. strawberry dress pog? strawberry dress pog.
but seriously, he rocked the strawberry dress. and the suit, though i missed that stream. he rocks his crown, his sunglasses, just anything he puts on. and don’t get me started on the BOOTS
(im started on the boots) so firstly the heel boots, the first ones he got. when i first saw clips, my only thought was something like ‘woah.’ or maybe ‘damn.’ at that point i didn’t know much about him, just that he looked STELLAR in those boots (and the betrayal and shit yknow) and the PLATFORMS DUDE
the platforms are the same but moar tall, which is incredible. oh and now back to strawberry dress- have you seen him twirl? the twirl? hello? have you seen it? you must. 
also i havent even talked about HIM yet. hove you seen that picture of him with a bird on his shoulder? he is facing the bird, i think looking at it, with a wide smile across his face. and it is so pretty. he has the prettiest smile. 
also today i was looking for flour at the store place and a clip of him was playing in my mind- he was doing like an announcer voice, like in every superhero movie trailer- and he was just coming up with something to say, and what he ened up saying was ‘in a world... where.... cookies.... are made of pringles’ and OMFG its making me laugh even now. like of absolutely anything, that was the example he made. just thinking about it is making me smile. 
speaking of, have you heard his voice? his normal voice is really really deep anyways, but he has crazy range- he can effortlessly(i originally wrote effortly and when i noticed i laughed because i am so fucking tired bfv9wuocl) go from like an elmo impression (and a good one) to a just REALLY low voice, lower than his normal low voice. 
AND HIS SINGING VOICE! he doesn’t like actually make music like wilbur but on that one stream where he did kareoke (how the fuck is it spelled) with fundy and his voice is SO LIKE its deep and its just pretty and i never want to hear normal sweater weather ever again, just him singing it.
i think this is where i’m done with eret- it is 5:18 now, and a BITCH IS TIRED but i need to finish this while i’m still feeling this wayy or i’ll never finish it, i know this from experience.
and now it’s tommy time
the og reason i decided to make this an actual post . but i had to explain the simping thing before i got into my thoughts about tommy. 
but let me start this with just saying yes, i love him. he is a big man and i want him to be happy. which is the topic for today’s discussion, AHEM. 
so tommyinnit, right? he is 16, which is why i do NOT simp.i dont care that im also a minor, i wouldn’t do anything to make him feel uncomfortable, ever. in any world. never. because look- i dont know how to put it, but tommy is SIXTEEN. still young and impressionable and all that junk. and he is a fairly fucking famous twitch streamer. he does that almost daily.
what i’m saying is i dont want him to get hurt. him, and tubbo too. they are a part of the world, part of the public, all the time. don’t you think that is stressful? do you guys remember his haircut stream? on the day of his haircut? and chat was making fun of him for it, and wilbur was making fun of him for it. that is how i express affection, with my real friends as well. playful bullying. but at some point while Will was teasing him, he says something along the lines of ‘yeah, the big man hasn’t been having too great a day’ or something like that, and dude, my heart dropped.
a. he had mentioned earlier that he didn’t want to stream the day of his haircut because hair is always weird that first day, but since he hadn’t streamed in a good bit he felt obliged to. i dont really.. idk, i dont really like that. i dont want him to have to put himself in uncomfortable situations because he feels like he needs to for us. i don’t think that is healthy.
and b. chat and wilbur were bullying him. good-naturedly, but still, when he mentioned he had been having a bad day, the chat turned around and instantly started yelling shit like ‘AHHHH SORRY BIG MAN YOUR HAIR IS FINE’ and when Wilbur kept teasing him (you fucking beautiful bully man fuck off) yelling stuff like ‘WILBUR QUIT WE ARE H U R T I N G HIM’ and ‘WILL STFU HES HAVING A BAD DAY’ so im glad we all want him to feel ok
but still, it cannot be healthy. when i first got into MCYT, i though tommy was fucking loud and annoying. and he is! he is. but that is a big part of why i like him so much. and everyone jokes about him being a child, because he is, but i choose to not say stuff like that in chat just because i want him to be happy. those jokes are fun, but i want him to be happy. and he is happier when not being called a child.
im not attacking you, do whatever the fuck you want. i dont know why i feel the need to protect him or whatever, if he read this he would probably think i was hella creepy. i just- listen, i just want him to be happy. i just want him to smile and laugh. i sound SO GODDAMN CREEPY but- as ive said- i just want him to be happy. 
is this literally just what having a comfort streamer is? am i not crazy? does everyone experience this? and can we talk about tommy’s playlist it’s literally so sweet and bubbly compared to his personality and i love that. and the song he always plays at the start of stream and always like buzzes along to? that moment in time is my very favorite.
it is 5:44-
37 notes · View notes
iridescentides · 3 years
Note
hi again dia! happy first day of december ❤️💚 i wanted to ask you what, in your opinion, are the 5 most underrated dcoms? i remember you saying before that you've watched all of them so i'd love to hear your opinions 😊 - 🎅🎁🎄
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH secret santa you are so good! asking me all the best questions 💜
okay so i literally had to make a list of all the dcoms i consider underrated and then narrow down a top 5. theres lots of dcoms that i love, but that i think got the right amount of attention and care (like lemonade mouth and the teen beach movies, for example), so this list just focuses on ones that deserved more hype for their quality level.
5. The Cheetah Girls: One World (2008)
okay so even as i type this i feel like a hypocrite. i have only watched this movie one time. BUT i can acknowledge that its one of the most criminally underrated dcoms ever, tons of people didnt watch it simply because raven wasnt in it. thats why i avoided it as a child, and i didnt get around to watching it until i did my big dcom binge in 2016. and it was so good. theres a really long post floating somewhere around tumblr full of specifics on why its actually the best cheetah girls movie (my favorite is the second one purely out of nostalgia), so to paraphrase some points from that post:
its a solid example of cultural appreciation, rather than appropriation, as the girls go and learn about bollywood and indian culture together
the indian characters arent treated like props or unimportant sides, they get their own agency and storylines that are important
the songs are good!!!
basically this movie was overlooked and slept on even though in terms of role modeling and social value, and just like the first two cheetah girls movies it was important and impactful.
4. Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure (2011)
okay so as someone whos very neutral and occasionally negative-leaning towards the hsm franchise (mostly bc its overhyped and not really representative of all dcoms), i was pleasantly surprised by sharpays fabulous adventure. this is another one that i know lots of people skipped right over and dont hold with as much esteem as the main hsm franchise, and that doesnt sit right with me.
i do not agree with the “uwu sharpay was the real victim in hsm” arguments bc in their efforts to look galaxy brained the people who say that overlook the fact that she was a rich white woman who used her power and status to exercise control over opportunities that should have been fairly and freely available for all; they were not “making a mockery of her theater” in the first movie, they were literally just kids who wanted to try out a new school activity that everyone was supposed to be allowed to participate in; and despite allegedly learning her lesson and singing we’re all in this together with everyone at the end of the first movie, she literally showed no growth in the second movie as she fostered an openly hostile environment and favored troy so heavily that it literally cost him his friends, all as part of yet another jealous plan to take things away from people who already have less than her. she was NOT the victim in the main franchise, and she did not seem to exhibit any growth or introspection either.
and that!!! is why sharpays fabulous adventure was so important. in focusing on sharpay as the main character, they finally had to make her likeable. they did this by showing actual real growth and putting her outside of her sphere of influence and control. we saw true vulnerability from her, instead of the basic ass “mean girl is sad bc shes actually just super insecure” trope (cough cough radio rebel), and this opened us up to finally learn about and care about her character. throughout the movie we see her learn, from her love interests example, how to care for others and be considerate. she faces actual adversity and works through it, asking herself what she truly wants and what shes capable of. and in the end, when she finally has her big moment, we’re happy for her bc she worked hard to get there. she becomes a star through her own merit and determination, rather than through money and connections. this movie is not perfect by any means, but it is severely underrated for the amount of substance it adds to sharpays character.
3. The Swap (2016)
okay i know im gonna get shit for this but thats why its on this list!!! just like sharpays fabulous adventure, its not perfect and definitely misses the mark sometimes, but it deserves more attention and love for all the things it did get right!
the swap follows two kids who accidentally switch bodies because of their emotional attachment to their dead/absent parents’ phones. and while i normally HATE the tv/movie trope of a dead parent being the only thing that builds quick sympathy for a young character, they definitely expanded well enough to where we could root for these kids even without the tragedy aspect. we see them go through their daily struggles and get a feel for their motivations as characters pretty well. as a body switching movie, we expect it to be all goofy and wacky and lighthearted, but it moves beyond that in unexpected ways.
the reason the swap is on this list is for its surprisingly thoughtful commentary on gender roles. its by no means a feminist masterpiece, and its not going to radicalize kids who watch it, but it conveys a subtle, heartfelt message that deserves more appreciation. the characters struggle with the concept of gender in a very accurate way for their age, making off-base comments and feeling trapped by the weight of expectations they cant quite put their finger on. we watch them feel both at odds with and relieved by the gender roles they are expected and allowed to perform in each others bodies, and one of the most interesting parts of the movie to me is their interactions with the other kids around them. as a result of their feeling out of place in each others environments, the kids inadvertently change each others friendships for the better by introducing new communication styles and brave authenticity. 
the value of this movie is the subtle, but genuine way it shows the characters growing through being given the space to act in conflicting ways to their expected norms. ellie realizes that relationships dont have to be complex, confusing, and painful, and that its okay to not live up to appearances and images. jack learns that emotional expression is good, healthy, and especially essential to the grieving process. one of the most powerful scenes in the movie comes at the end where, after ellie confronts jacks dad in his body, jack returns as himself to a very heartfelt apology from his father for being too hard on him; the explicit message (”boys can cry”) is paired with an open expression of love and appreciation for his kids that he didnt feel comfortable displaying until his son set an example through honest communication. this is such an empowering scene and overall an empowering movie for kids who may feel stuck in their expected roles, as it sets a positive example for having the courage to break the restrictive societal mold. for its overall message of the importance of introspection and emotional intelligence, the swap is extremely underrated.
2. Freaky Friday (2018)
this is my favorite dcom, and probably my favorite movie at this point. ive always assigned a lot of personal value to this movie (and i love every freaky friday in general), for the message of selfless familial love and understanding. i know i can get carried away talking about this topic; i got an anon ask MONTHS ago asking me about the freaky friday movies and i wrote a super super long detailed response that i never posted bc i didnt quite finish talking about the 2018 movie. and thats bc on a personal level, i cant adequately convey all the love i have for this movie. so i will try to keep this short.
first lets state the obvious: the reason people dont like this movie is bc its not the lindsay lohan version. and i get that, to an extent, bc i also love the 2003 version and its one of my ultimate comfort movies, and grew up watching it and ive seen it a billion times. i even watched it a couple days ago. but the nostalgia goggles that people have on from the early 2000s severely clouds their judgement of the wonderful 2018 remake.
yes, the 2018 version is dorky, overly simplistic plot wise, a bit stiff at times, and super cheesy like any dcom. the writing isnt 100% all the time. the narrative takes a couple confusing turns. the song biology probably shouldnt have been included. i understand this. but at the heart of it all, this movies value is love. and its edge over all the other freaky friday movies is the songs.
on a personal level, the movie speaks heavily to me. i cried very early into my first viewing of the movie bc i got to see dara renee, a dark-skinned, non-skinny actress, playing the mean popular girl on disney channel. that has never happened before. growing up, i saw the sharpays and all the other super thin white women get to be the “popular” girls on tv, and ultimately they were taken down in the end for being mean, but that doesnt change the fact that they were given power and status in the first place for being conventionally beautiful. so, watching dara renee strut around confidently and sing about being the queen bee at this high school got to me immediately. and in general, the supporting cast members of color really mean a lot to me in this movie. we get to see adam, an asian male love interest for the main character. we have a second interracial relationship in the movie with katherines marriage to mike. ellies best friend karl is hispanic. and we see these characters have depth and plot significance, we see them show love, care, and passion for the things they value. the brown faces in this movie are comforting to me personally. additionally, the loving, blended family dynamic is important to me as someone in a close-knit, affectionate step-family.
but on a more general level, this movie is underrated for its skillful musical storytelling and the way it conveys all kinds of love and appreciation. in true freaky friday fashion, we watch ellie and katherine stumble and misstep in their attempts to act like each other. its goofy and fun. but through it all, the music always captures the characters’ intimate thoughts and feelings. the opening song gives us a meaningful view into ellie and katherines relationship and the fundamental misunderstandings that play a role in straining their connection. ellie sings about how she thinks her mom wants her to be perfect, and her katherine sings about all the wonderful traits she sees in her daughter and how she wants her to be more open and self assured. this is meaningful bc even as theyre mad at each other, the love comes through. the songs continue to bring on the emotional weight of the story, as ellie sings to her little brother about her feelings of hurt and abandonment in her fathers absence. the song “go” and its accompanying hunt scene always make me cry bc of the childlike wonder and sense of adventure that it brings. for the kids, its a coming of age, introspective song. for katherine who gets to participate in ellies body, its a reminder of youth and the rich, full life her daughter has ahead of her. she is overcome with excitement, both from getting to be a teenager again for a day, and from the realization that her daughter has a support network and passions that are all her own. today and ev’ry day, the second to last song, is the culmination of the lessons learned throughout the movie, a mother and daughters tearful commitment to each other to love, protect, and understand one another. the line “if today is every day, i will hold you and protect you, i wont let this thing affect you” gets to me every time. even when things are hard and dont go according to plan, they still agree, in this moment, to be there for each other. and thats what all freaky friday stories are ultimately about.
freaky friday 2018 is a beautiful, inclusive, subversive display of familial love, sacrifice, and selflessness, and it is underrated and overlooked because of its more popular predecessor.
1. Let It Shine (2012)
this is another one of my favorite dcoms and movies in the whole world. unlike the other movies on this list, it is not the viewers themselves that contribute to the underrated-ness of this movie. disney severely under-promoted and under-hyped this movie in comparison to its other big musical franchises, and i will give you five guesses as to why, but youll only need one!
let it shine is the most beautifully, unapologetically black dcom in the whole collection. (i would put jump in! at a notable second in this category, but that one wasnt underrated). this movie was clearly crafted with care and consideration. little black kids got to see an entire dcom cast that represented them. the vernacular used in the script is still tailored mostly to white-favoring audiences, but with some relevant slang thrown in there. in short, the writers got away with the most blackness they were allowed to inject into a disney channel project.
the story centers on rap music and its underground community in atlanta, georgia. it portrays misconceptions surrounding rap, using a church setting as a catalyst for a very real debate surrounding a generational, mutlicultural conflict. this was not a “safe” movie for disney, given its emphasis on religious clashes with contemporary values. it lightly touches on issues of image policing within the black community (cyrus’s father talking about how “our boys” are running around with sagging pants and “our girls” are straying away from god), which is a very real and pressing problem for black kids who feel the pressure (from all sides) of representing their whole race with their actions. its a fun, adorable story about being yourself and staying true to your art, but also a skillful representation of struggles unique to black and brown kids and children from religious backgrounds.
on top of crafting a fun, wholesome, thoughtful narrative and likeable protagonists, let it shine brought us what is in my opinion the BEST dcom soundtrack of all time. every single song is a bop. theyre fast, fun, and lyrically engaging. “me and you” is my favorite disney channel song of all time due to its narrative significance; i will never forget my first time watching the movie and seeing that big reveal unfold onstage, as a conversation and a plot summary all wrapped into a song. the amount of thought and care that went into the music of this movie should have been rewarded with a level of attention on par with that of other musical dcoms.
if disney channel had simply cared about let it shine more, it couldve spanned franchises and sold songs the way that other musical dcoms have drawn in success. i would have loved for a sequel that explored and fleshed out cyrus’s neighborhood a little bit more, and maybe dipped into that underground scene they caught a glimpse of. i wanted a follow up on the changed church community once cyrus’s father started supporting his sons vision. i want so much more for these characters and this world than disney gave them in just one movie.
for its bold, unabashed representation of blackness and religion, subtle, nuanced presentation of race-specific issues, strong, likeable characters, and complex, thoughtful songs, let it shine is the most underrated dcom.
and because i made a full list before i started writing this post, here are some honorable mentions:
going to the mat (2004)
gotta kick it up! (2002)
tru confessions (2002)
dont look under the bed (1999)
invisible sister (2015)
8 notes · View notes
koorinohebi · 3 years
Note
6, 30, & 38 !
@ramenthings
Munday Asks - Open and accepting
6. is there any other muse in this fandom you’d like to RP?
Oh wow, do I ever.
Tumblr media
I actually have other characters in the fandom that I RP like Nohara Rin (who I have to get posts done for.), but there's probably 2 characters whom I want to try RPing again, try to see if I can do them justice. Back then, when I picked them up, there were very little information to be had so I had to go with what we know and see of them from both anime and manga. That time, back in the early 20's, I dont believe canon-divergence was a very common thing because the moment you stray away from the meta, you're automatically persecuted for being out of character even when you technically arent. RPing these days is great because you have more liberty to take your character where you want them to go based on your headcanons and interpretations without them being less of who they are. Because people are more understanding that a difference in interpretation doesnt necessarily make the character OOC (unless it's really apparent that they are. And people can tell.)
So going back, these two characters are-- well, I guess you could say they are actually three:
Pein, Nagato, and Konan.
I had the chance to RP both Pein and Konan back when forum RPing is a thing. Nagato wasn't a thing then so we just knew Pein as this orange haired Akatsuki leader who was out there trying to gather all the Bijuu. Because there was so little to go by, I really feel like I didnt do either of them justice so I hope to be able to play them again some day, albeit after more research. But first and foremost, I want to try and RP Nagato because I do find his character interesting. I like the way he interpreted how the concept of pain makes a person grow, and how he sacrificed everything for that ideal, and ultimately in order to protect those who meant the world to him...which eventually branched out to the citizens of Amegakure.
Lol, apparently I also like characters who carry deep trauma and who gets lost along the way, so there's that aspect.
30. what are your favorite RP tropes to play? (angst, hurt-comfort, etc…)
Tumblr media
Angst is definitely at the top here. In my private roleplays with friends, as well as in my fanfic writing, I do give Kiomi a lot of angst...mostly because my main interpretation for her which follows the anime/manga timeline deals with her having A LOT of regret. Having ran away from herself, deciding to let cowardice fester in her heart, she's stuck in a limbo and can't move forward. So she does a lot of things to try and recompense thinking that it'll bring her peace, but it doesnt. She can't let go of the past, she cant forgive herself, and so she ends up pretending that she's alright with how things turned out. Lies however can only go so far. Which is why, which is why, which is why, I do enjoy my current dynamic for her in terms of her interaction with Kashin Koji. (I'll definitely write a drabble at some point.) Because he helps her make sense of herself. Life lessons part two at the hands of someone a little more unforgiving. She has a hard time lying to him because he calls her bluff and bullies challenges her to quit being such a wuss. I really do hate the fact that this girl often gets bullied into action, but I found her morale is boosted when she's rallied to a cause by a rival or someone who thinks rather little of her. Because she's a pretty sore loser at the core, so she ends up working her butt off to prove them wrong. In this case, she doesnt want Kashin Koji’s approval, she just wants him off her back.
I also like fluff, but it's very hard to RP that with Kiomi because she's so... eh with her emotions when it comes to people. Which is where the slow burn tropes come in. I enjoy building relationships for Kiomi so that everything feels more organic for her. Almost everything with her starts with a lie, and eventually, depending on how things pan out, becomes a truth. It also gives me more drama to work with when she realizes she's grown attach to someone. I do enjoy it when she learns about her own feelings, how that side of her that got buried with her family comes rushing out the surface. Because despite everything, she's a pretty good girl. Just raised in less forgiving circumstances that doesn't afford her the luxury to be kind all the time.
Frenemy tropes. As much as I love giving Kiomi good friends who she share intimate, almost familial bonds with... I really like toxic friendships that starts from being enemies to eventually being comrades with mutual benefits (nothing sexual, she's gonna run). Like for example, how her odd, normally one-sided rivalry with Sasuke turned out to them becoming friends somewhere in Boruto's generation. I say friend, but she has never ever given up on her quest to defeat him (which she hasnt been able to accomplish at all), but at least it's evolved to "I'll beat you up one day!" from, "I'll kill you!". They're at a level of comfort where Kiomi can jab a sarcastic joke at Sasuke and she doesnt end up getting barbecued by him. I'm 100% certain he thinks she's a nuisance, but at least one whom he can sort of leave his back to. (Of course, Sasukes whom I do not know do not need to share this interpretation if we do interact, unless they too agree to it. But one thing is always constant with Kiomi, and that she will always have hate and envy for him because of being Orochimaru's favorite.)
Top of my head these three are my favorite tropes.
38. what’s the best inspiration for your muse?
Tumblr media
Jiraiya and his teachings inspired her so much the real her got dragged out.
Kidding aside, this is a good question. She doesn't really find a lot of things to be too inspiring, but if ever one existed, then it's probably anger and fear. The self loathing she feels for not being good enough inspires her to do better so that she'd be good enough to be someone's first choice. Because ultimately, she just wants to be useful in order to feel like she earned her place within her lord's ranks. And at the start of her adventure, because she owes Orochimaru her life, all she really wanted was to be the perfect shinobi tool that’d serve as his sword and shield no matter the circumstance. Alas, not so.
The fear of having to go through the things she experienced as a child inspires her to grow stronger so that she'll never have to go through it again (but she does). She dislikes loss, that's why if Kiomi can help it, she wont form too many attachments that can hinder her judgement (but she ended up gaining them anyway). She believes that being an emotionless tool is the best course of action (but she still has so many emotions that she cant keep under wraps). This girl has quite a bit of contradiction, which is fun to play out because it leads to her true personality showing, the one at least, that's not always shrouded in lies.
1 note · View note
shoujoaccent · 4 years
Note
can you share your thoughts on kuro and iwanaga pls 🥺
ok first, i love them, so jot that down lmao i’m just going to be rambling w/ the information i have today!! which is ep7 of the anime & vol.10 of the manga!!
the first thing i want to touch on is this recent idea that kuro is with iwanaga by force, or her persistence, or not having romantic feelings for her... and even though i can see why people have that conclusion, i feel like a big factor to that ideal has been from 1) their romance has been subtext because of the genre and the fact that their relationship is established, and 2) the fact that kuro’s character, especially in the anime, is flat and often misconstrued... when he both has valid reasons for his characterization and has proven that he genuinely cares for her, her well-being, and their relationship. 
again!! i must repeat!! they are together in an established romantic relationship. this is not a budding romance, so we’re not going to get a lot of moments of them realizing their feelings/etc. he may have moments where he’s not prioritizing her, but he always makes up for it, and shows that he goes out of his way to make her happy. yes, he teases her relentlessly, and yes, he says he’s going to break up with her..... but literally all of his actions indicates his care.
also, the second thing i want to touch upon is that kuro and kotoko’s relationship is complicated because individually, they are complicated themselves. kuro’s lack of attachment can be explained away with the abuse of his grandmother, his strange relationship with rikka, and the fact that he’s immortal (like, why is he going to get legally married when he’ll never have a death certificate?). kotoko flirts, sure, but she’s distant herself. she’s shown that she has no hesitation of bending ethics to uphold the natural order, and that her job will always become before everything, even her health. before kuro, she’s described to being to herself and rare to any emotional outburst. nonetheless, she’s still a rich, protected daughter that was found dismembered... like she has her own rich backstory that doesn’t go away just bc she talks about being horny 24/7 lol
ok more things under the cut bc of spoilers and i cant be vague anymore:
THIRD THING!! another thing that gets brought about kuro’s feelings and it’s the fact that he has feelings for his cousin and saki still. therefore, his relationship with kotoko is strictly platonic... but that’s... that’s just not the case. i need to break this down into parts bc WHEW I HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS
FIRST, if kuro has feelings for rikka, then there should have been no problem for them to be together. in the recent volume (10), she literally states that he was supposed to be hers... but what eventually ended up happening is the fact that kuro did get closer with kotoko. 
and see, the thing with that is..... if kuro has had nothing but feelings for rikka, then his relationship with saki wouldn’t have happened in the first place either. not to sound pro-inc*st, but they are immortal beings and the last of their family line. there’s literally nothing stopping them besides kuro not wanting to pursue a romantic relationship with rikka... and he didn’t. he got engaged to saki instead.
kuro has also stated that rikka was only in the hospital because she wanted to be mortal again, aka she wanted to die... but why? there’s events that we’re missing and won’t get to see into later down the line. regardless, it’s safe to say that kuro loves rikka to his full capacity as family and as someone who shared his same horrid past, but he doesn’t love her more than that. (he also said she was a monster beforehand anyway so.... idk, maybe that has something to do with that LOL.)
but that also brings us to the next thing: why saki?
it’s been clear that he dates saki because she looked like rikka. they were together to the point of engagement and talks of marriage, but nothing came into fruition bc he’s an immortal that scares off spectres.
but thats the thing too, their relationship would’ve never worked bc 1) he was always hiding the fact on who he was, and 2) again, he is immortal. maybe she was his attempt to be normal, but kuro’s very aware of his situation at all times. i don’t doubt he loved saki, but a lot of his residual feelings from the lady steel arc indicate guilt rather than lingering feelings.
and of course, he feels freaking guilty!!! he lied to her about his condition, and then scared her to the point where she couldn’t even eat certain meats. that’s a heavy burden to be at fault for. (luckily, they do resolve this and apologize to each other!! but that’s the thing too: be the end of lady steel, they aren’t letting go of their feelings. they’ve been aware that their relationship was over for a long time and that they both moved on. there were just some leftover wounds.)
AND AHHH!!!! i think its also to point out the fact that rikka approved saki (aka her clone), but she never approved kotoko. rikka said that she thought she could wait for kuro to get tired of kotoko, but he never did. that’s why kotoko became a bigger threat than she already was. not only was she an indicator that kuro wasn’t looking for rikka in people, but because his feelings for kotoko are genuine. it drives rikka to the point of insanity bc she literally is trying to create something to kill a god.
so to summarize: kuro loves rikka, but only as family. kuro dates saki bc she reminded him of rikka (aka probably the only he did know in his fucked up childhood), but it doesn’t work out bc he’s immortal anyway. kuro dates and ends up having actual feelings for kotoko, which brings us to the present and why rikka feels threatened to the point of violence.
GOT IT!!!
also, since we’re nearing the end, there’s something also interesting about kuro and kotoko’s relationship that i’ve thought about since their christmas chapter. kuro is a broke college student. kotoko is an heiress. they’re constantly going on trips and dates, but for the most part, kuro is going out of his way to treat kotoko. he’s thankful for her parents for taking in rikka, but there’s not a plot about him being indebted to her/etc... and i’ve been thinking about this since the christmas chapter bc he chose to work at his part-time job than spend it with her. at first, it’s easy to be upset about it...... but again, kuro’s a broke college student. of course, he needs to work a lot. he not only has school, bills, and groceries, but he’s trying to accommodate kotoko to a lifestyle where she’s happiest in (like a goOD BOYFRIEND) and it makes me wanna cry ok
in conclusion, i just think it’s dumb to act like these two aren’t together or that they don’t have feelings for each other. it’s there. in fact, it’s probably the only constant/consistent thing in a story with a lot of moving parts. they both lead incredibly complicated lives, but they’re there for each other.
i won’t lie, kuro talks a lot of shit lmao, but i don’t get how that’s different from kotoko being overly sexual/vulgar when she doesn’t mean it either. kuro literally told her that he needs her and her response was telling him to not think he’s hot shit lololol. i get also bc kotoko’s overtly sexual (and lbr, attracts a lot of lolicons), so if she’s not being praised/not being treated like a princess by kuro, then that makes him a worse boyfriend... but he doesn’t treat her poorly. hell, that pinocchio proved that she really takes for granted that he dies a lot of her sometimes to the point with other spectres (aka the things that want to see kuro die LOL) think she (aka their god that they praise 24/7) is harsh.
but that’s what being in a relationship too is. you’re not going to appreciate someone at all hours of the day, but the point is, you have to be constantly taking care of each other, even when you don’t want to. kuro and kotoko are constantly taking care of each other, and thinking of each other’s well-being first and foremost. they might bicker, but that’s a fact that’s always acknowledged by everyone around them, despite initial opinions.
and tbh, i feel like kuro also feels a lot of guilt for rikka. maybe not for returning her feelings, but because his happiness with another person (kotoko) was the catalyst of her running away and causing havoc. i think that adds another layer to his distance with kotoko, but it doesn’t mean he has feelings for her romantically. what i really appreciate about the story is the fact that as simple as things are presented, there’s always a complex reason/backstory for it. there’s never a single moving part for anything. there’s plenty of motives and reasons.
74 notes · View notes
Text
Pregame Cast Time
Here's maybe a difficult request but I know you can do it! Can you do head cannons for the pregame v3 cast with a s/o. If you cant do that it's ok. Please and thank you plus I love your stuff.
I usually don’t do the pregame cast, nor do I really allow entire cast asks so I’ll just ask if you ask for the rest of the cast I didn’t do in another post for later, I’ll do the male cast first?
Honestly I’m surprised y’all are into my weird pregame headcannons, but I’m all in.
-Mod Pregame Shuichi
Tumblr media
Kiibo
(His AI hasn’t fully been made quite yet, Team Danganronpa’s keeping him as the audience surrogate but before they do so, they let their robot travel to school to try to learn human emotions, that goes as well as you would expect...)
Kiibo was an odd student who had come towards your school one day, he never spoke like... other kids do, he spoke much more robotically, calculated, emotionless, it was quite... odd to say the least. (But he seemed lonely, so you befriended him, then he asked if you could pursue being his romantic partner!)
He’s quite fine with harming himself for your sake, he doesn’t see his own safety as high priority, saying he’s merely a spare, which you always try to counter but he’s far too good at countering otherwise, he always calls you arguing against him: “highly illogical”.
His hand feels like cold metal, freezing whenever you touch them, so he’s taken to wearing gloves, but even then you can’t help but to feel a chill.
You can tell, he’s really trying his best with this relationship, but he’s very new to being romantic... but he’s trying! He says he can’t buy you anything, nor does he enjoy to eat (thinking about it, you’ve never seen him eat...), so he often sticks to romantic affection like... pressing his lips against yours, holding your warm hand in his cold one even if his body feels like cold metal, you swear you can see him actually smile.
Kiibo never talks to his backround, nor does he ever let you come to his house, he says you would never enjoy his family, that they wouldn’t appreciate you either.
He was odd, Kiibo. But at let he would let you know with the only thing that seemed to confuse him, words of affirmation to prove he loved you ever so often...
“I love you” means a lot in this relationship!
Shuichi Saihara
(An fascinated Ultimate Fanboy of Danganronpa that seems to hate people otherwise, usually has his head tucked into a book so you REALLY wouldn’t know the kind of shit he’s into. He usually uses Danganronpa as a vent towards the weird emotions, has a thing for drafting his execution then gets all excited at the thought of death.)
Shuichi had been the one who showed you around your new school, you truly wanted to know what was under that gaze of his so you chatted with him, it wasn’t actually... pleasant at first, even though with remarks to please “go away”, but soon he found that he couldn’t make you go...! (Actually he wanted you to stay, so he asked if you could date each other.)
Shuichi was an... odd but at first, he talks casually about how your execution would be if you signed up for Danganronpa, going into a disturbing amount of detail, he... oookay, you tried setting him straight on that but he didn’t actually seem to get it?
Shuichi has warm hands, slightly hot even when you put them in yours, he says it’s because his phone usually overheats... yeah that’s understandable.
Shuichi’s way of showing romance is communication, he’s usually not one for physical affection, it’s embarrassing, he prefers if the two of you could just... sit wherever, talk about whatever with no judgement between the two of you, that’s the perfect date in his terms.
Shuichi’s mother was a odd lady, she accepted you into the family as soon as you walked into the house, begging you to take good care of him, your unsure on why the two of them didn’t talk much... but you held back your questions, it clearly made them both uncomfortable.
Shuichi doesn’t say, “I love you” to just anyone, so when he does...
It honestly feels like your flying on cloud-nine, he really only does it if he gets flirtatious or if he’s... really thankful he has something other than Danganronpa to obsess about.
Ryoma Hoshi
(An popular guy that’s pretty much amazing at anything, sports included! Super optimistic at almost anything, he’s planning to adopt a cat and kick some ass when he grows up! Gets... attaches to people easily, really attached.)
Ryoma visited the tennis club, you were the leader so he hadta’ go to you to get taught, n’... things progressed from there! He thought you were a real sweetheart so he asked you out, he was a pretty popular and really really nice guy, so how could you possibly say no?
Ryoma’s a valiant type of guy, he’s the type of guy that would calmly joke about gladly laying his life down for yours as a joke, but... you aren’t sure if he’s joking time to time, really he gets into that knight act.
Ryoma’s hands are... room-tempature, they feel small in yours but he has such a tight grip, but it’s... affectionate, really gentle just as they seem.
He would show romance any possible way he could, if you want compliments? Stellar! You look amazing today, seriously! Hanging out? Perfect! He’s already at your house with the popcorn! Kissing? Great! Your now making out, who cares where?
His house? Why would you two need to go there, ever? Ryoma dislikes his parents, much more so because their easily to... make angry so they usually depress him out (he swears it’s not like that kind of one, here check his arm!), so you’ve never actually met the folks... it’s probably for the best.
Ryoma’s the type of guy who would say “I love you” over a mic overhead to millions of people if he could, he wants to announce his love to the world! Which is you! Yeah he snuck a pick-up line in there...
He’s... one of the good people in a world like this, you know?
Kaito Momota
(A delinquent who never attends class, an avid smoker at that, and the basic definition of what to stay away from at school, he’s surprisingly a loner, a tired one at that who believes effort just isn’t worth it. Kind of... a tsundere, not like anyone can see that considering he has no other friends, unless you count the people he frequently beats up.)
How did the two of you possibly get together, well you had to ask him out, you didn’t think he was that bad... then your friends dared you on top of that, he just said: “sure” and done was done. You were dating, no regrets, nuh-huh.
Kaito jokes about using you as a human shield, you doubt he actually would, honestly you probably be using him as your weapon of mass destruction...
His hands are big in comparison to yours honestly you feel safe with his hands over yours, his are rather cold, but you hear that means they usually have a big heart...? Guess it’s an myth, has to be.
Kaito’s not one for... PDA, he seems to loathe it actually, calls it dumb too, but whenever your alone he loves doing small acts of affection, his face flushes red whenever you hug him back, then trying to push you away, it’s kind of cute...?
Kaito’s stuck with his grandparents, he’s surprisingly really nicer with them around not even grunting once, you can’t help but feel a bit surprised he’s bringing you to them instead of his real family...
He said: “I love you” once, you never let him live it down, every time you say it he feels a little part of him die on the inside.
Guess you shouldn’t completely judge a book by it’s cover, eh?
Rantaro Amami
(Getting back into school after the killing games, he’s a bit broken from his expierences but he tries to hide it off with an unusually big brother attitude. But signs of the killing game remain with how cold he can become within seconds.)
You weren’t that big of a fan of Danganronpa so you hadn’t completely understood why the rest of your class was fawning over him the minute he came into the class, he was uncomfortable so... you comforted him the two of you talked it out, became good friends, then more than that.
Rantaro’s... knightly, you could totally see him joking about him saying he’ll be your knight in shining armor... but he probably let you usurp that role if you just asked.
He feels... kind of natural when you hold his hand, normal, he treats your hand as royalty making sure he doesn’t grip too harshly.
Rantaro loves little acts to show that he cares for you, patting your head, hugging you, pressing a light kiss against your forehead, small “I love you”, little declarations of his affection.
... Rantaro doesn’t actually have a family besides a little sister, they survive on their own on funding given by Danganronpa, it takes everything you have not to pinch that little sweet girl’s cheeks...
Rantaro tells you he loves you daily, he’s a sweet guy, might be the sweetest guy you know.
You love him too, so you remember to tell him yourself that daily too.
Gonta Gokuhara
(A passionate student body president whose trying his best to make friends and keep the school in order, he had a gruff upcoming as a bad doer himself once so he really really wants to change that view about him!)
Gonta Gokuhara was the Class President of your entire class, he was scary to everybody else but you didn’t think looks mattered all that much, and gained the nerve to talk with him, you fell in love instantly when he asked if you needed assistance with your homework.
He would die for you, you actually think he would jump off a cliff if you asked nicely enough, and that’s horrifying. He truly dedicated himself to showing his passion towards this relationship, but maaybe that’s a bit too much passion?
Gonta almost crushed your hand when he took it into his own, he profusely apologized after it, so you... usually hold your hand over his, so it doesn’t get crushed...
PDA isn’t allowed on campus but otherwise it is A-OK! He truly doesn’t mind it then, but he usually just affirms his love by screaming at the top of his lungs that he loves you.
His father isn’t ever home the time you come around, then his mother passed away a while ago, he really wants you to meet the guy he just explains he’s busy a lot... you try to remind him it’s alright!
Gonta Gokuhara screams his declarations of love if you heard me before, I’m serious about it.
Your eardrums feel like their bleeding, they might start if they take anymore of a beating but it’s for love!
Kokichi Ouma
(He’s the leader of the Occult Club, he’s often bullied due to his small stature seems like a timid meek lad, but he can get creepy sometimes... Pretends to be a big evil villain when he gets afraid of his own shadow.)
An member of the Occult Club... Leader of it too, he asked you out one day while shaking like a leaf, how could you possibly refuse when he looked on the verge of tears?
Kokichi can’t actually... defend you, he looks weaker than a twig, you could easily snap his bones with a little: crack if you put a teensy weensy bit of force into it.
His hands are tiny, pale, kind of sweaty and shaky too, you had to hold them tight for them to stop trembling like crazy...
Kokichi’s a sweet guy, he’s bashful but he’s not completely embrassed to show you his love... he... um, gives you small little poems he made, complete with a small little spell that wards off evil, pretty nifty huh?
He lets you come to his house anytime you want, his parents are completely nice people, he even has eight little siblings walking around that don’t really look like him... he did a small cute routine with them, complete with a little pose. (He says they like pretending to be a gang of super bad super villains, he’s the leader of course.)
Kokichi admits he loves you, always in a stuttered weak voice, but when he finally says it he looks somewhat proud of himself...
You really don’t want to know how they’ll take the next phase of your relationship together...
Korekiyo Shinguuji
(A totally normal teenage boy with a bit of a troubled past, he’s a bit lazier than most people, somewhat chiller than most people too, probably pass being stabbed with an: “eh”. He gets sick easily, and lives with his sister.)
He just asked if you wanted to be his ‘one and only’ one day, in the middle of class without a slight change in expression, he shrugged when you asked why but... why would you refuse? He seems pretty cool, so why not? Screw it as they say.
Korekiyo? He’d probably sell you to Satan for a cornchip hadn’t he liked you, he’s on pretty rad terms with you so... he’d prefer you not die...?
... He’s got bandages wrapped all over his hands with many scars, you can feel the scars every time you intertwine your fingers, you can’t help but to wonder on how he got those...
Korekiyo probably shows love in stupid ways with engaging in stupid conversation topics with you, he likes leaning in against you and affection though, don’t get em’ wrong, he just really wants someone to talk to.
His house is completely empty anytime he brings you over besides from his older sister, she’s a pretty nice lady... they seem to have a lovely sibling bond, like nothing could break it.
Korekiyo... would literally choke than admit he loves you, that’s so cheesy thooo... if he... does admit it, that means he’s... likely sad, really sad to actually admit it.
... You should comfort him.
151 notes · View notes