Teasing friend @l3ominor with this post and they let me interrogate them about pre-game stuff so here y'all can enjoy "Which @recalled11 Boys Pay Their Taxes?"
Sky & Sun = They're flying back and forth between Skyloft and the new settlement, helping people move and so on. Gaepora is still in charge, so they have the fun times of getting to ask him for taxed goods and stuff to ensure everyone's got what they need so they're closer to the "tax collecting" than "tax paying" side of things.
Colors = His father is a knight, for all he's of half a mind to spend more time making things than doing Knight things himself, so at this point he doesn't have much to do with taxes. His father likely owns property he collects tax from.
Time & Malon = Time vanished and avoided getting any fancy gifts (or expectations) from his Zelda, so upon his return to Hyrule he became a farm boy and married the farmer's daughter. Talon is still around, so he gets to avoid the question quite happily. One day, Malon will probably be the one managing it with his help, but both hope it's not anytime soon.
Wind = He wasn't paying taxes at home (he was a minor) and he hasn't paid any since, because Tetra has never met a harbour tax she didn't want to find a way around.
Twilight = He up and vanished after everything went down and hasn't settled anywhere else. At home in Ordon Village, Rusl and Uli maintain his house and his residence there, and likely cover the head tax that makes for in hopes he'll come back one day.
Captain = He was a conscript that's since been elevated to part of the royal mechanics, via gifts of lands and some minor titles making him a full knight. He's not sure he's pleased by this -- he wasn't exactly hoping for it -- but there is no way to refuse a royal gift, after all.
Legend & Ravio = As a son to the royal family who's been caught up in one thing after another since he was ten years old, he knows nothing about how handling the kingdom's taxes go (as much as his sister might wish for the help) and has no intention of learning. Whenever Ravio visits, he insists he's a royal cousin, so that never affects him, either, and his Zelda is mostly just happy any time he's there and she knows he's okay.
Fairy = He's not hylian, so whatever taxes faeries deal with is what he's doing, which is probably not comprehensible to anyone else. He has no objection to helping people, but he's not actually liable.
Wild & Flower = Neither of them has enough of their shit together people expect much of them, and Wild tends to give gifts randomly and effusively enough that most people can write off whatever might be officially owed as already paid (possibly several years into the future, because he considers dragon parts as helpful to drop off as rice.)
“When I first heard it, from a dog trainer who knew her behavioral science, it was a stunning moment. I remember where I was standing, what block of Brooklyn’s streets. It was like holding a piece of polished obsidian in the hand, feeling its weight and irreducibility. And its fathomless blackness. Punishment is reinforcing to the punisher. Of course. It fit the science, and it also fit the hidden memories stored in a deeply buried, rusty lockbox inside me. The people who walked down the street arbitrarily compressing their dogs’ tracheas, to which the poor beasts could only submit in uncomprehending misery; the parents who slapped their crying toddlers for the crime of being tired or hungry: These were not aberrantly malevolent villains. They were not doing what they did because they thought it was right, or even because it worked very well. They were simply caught in the same feedback loop in which all behavior is made. Their spasms of delivering small torments relieved their frustration and gave the impression of momentum toward a solution. Most potently, it immediately stopped the behavior. No matter that the effect probably won’t last: the reinforcer—the silence or the cessation of the annoyance—was exquisitely timed. Now. Boy does that feel good.”
— Melissa Holbrook Pierson, The Secret History of Kindness (2015)
this was a shocker to see, but it kinda makes sense? it's been a few years since i was into mbti so im a little rusty, but the cognitive functions of FiNeSiTe make sense for him. anyway i want to believe he's an infp so i can truly say "hes just like me"
when i was thinking about browsing pdb again, i was like "who wants to bet karkat is an xxFJ" and i was right. bow to my limitless wisdom
i'm pretty sure the cognitive functions for INTP is TiNeFiSe*? in which case i agree, SO much Ti in this dude, oh my god i sound like one of the PDB users abort abort abort- *edit: it is TiNeSiFe
for my own well being i will stop browsing personality database
my favorite orange nonhuman child soldier adjacent weapon owning girls with impractical clothes and long fleshy hairlike constructs coming from their heads
"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."
"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.
"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.
"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"
"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.
"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."
"This is where I live."
"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"
"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"
"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."
"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."
"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."
"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"
"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"
"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"
"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"
"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"
"Please, call me Bruce."
"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."
Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.
"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."