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ill-say-anything-i-hafta · 1 month

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I wrote a Jack & Crutchie story for @loiteringandlurking re: his post about Jack who is an amputee.

One-Handed

In the circulation yard, Crutchie watches the new kid with the knotted-up shirt sleeve, watches how he holds the top of his bag open with his stump and then shoves the papes in one-handed. Crutchie knows that dance; he's got two good arms himself, but one of 'em's always occupied. It ain't as easy as it looks.

Kid says his name is Jack. He's straight from a factory job -- by way of the charity hospital on Hudson Street -- and can't hawk a headline for shit, but he can tie a bootlace real tight, a hard-won skill he's clearly proud of. First, he does up the dangling lace on Crutchie's bad foot. Then he tackles the other side for good measure. Double knots on both scuffed boots. And Crutchie lets him. For once, he don't care who sees him getting help because it makes the guy so happy.

Crutchie lets Jack follow him around, too. Teaches him the ropes. Why not?

::::

August in the crowded dormitory bedroom, hot and airless. Most of the boys have stripped to their undershirts, including Jack, sprawled out on his bottom bunk. Crutchie glances quickly away from the place where his right forearm abruptly ends, the scar still red and angry, and looks down at the sketch slowly developing. A nighttime scene in a desolate place, a wolf howling next to twin pine trees, mountains in the background, a crescent moon riding overhead. Jack scratches his pencil along the wolf's back. His neck flushes with frustration. He still ain't used to drawing with his left hand.

"Looks real good," Crutchie says quietly.

Jack spits out the rubber eraser he's been holding in his teeth. It lands on his pillow and Crutchie waits for him to say something mean. But he only uses the eraser to rub at some of the smudges. "Not every day you gets to see talent like this up close, huh?"

::::

Someone sends word that Jack's old man is doing poorly, so he stops by with a carton of cigarettes he bought. The place is a tenement on Mulberry, prostitutes coming and going. Jack insists that Crutchie wait on the stoop to protect their pile of newly bought evening Worlds. He's back in less than ten minutes, looking slightly out of breath.

"If he lives so close, how come you don't stay with him?"

"Well, I used to," Jack says, though that don't answer the question at all.

"He hit ya?"

"Nah, never." Jack seems to realize he's walking too fast and slows his pace. "Sorry. I think maybe ... I think seein' me makes him feel bad. So I just don't go by there too much."

Crutchie knows exactly what Jack means, and it makes him mad. He stops in the middle of the street to call the headline to an old woman in a kerchief. Jack waits, lighting a cigarette one-handed, while Crutchie juggles his crutch to make change. "You's still a kid," he says. "Your pops should be helpin' you out. If he ain't gonna do that, the least he could do is be proud of how good you is doin'."

"He don't need to be proud. I's just livin my life," Jack says. "Not everybody's gonna understand." He slings his good arm around Crutchie's shoulders. "But I got you."

::::

Ladies like Crutchie. They always have. They want to help him; they buy his papes and sometimes they gives him food and things. But it's girls that like Jack Kelly -- girls their same age.

And Jack seems to like them back, too. He'll pick someone out special to pass the time with, take her to the music halls -- he can sell a hundred twenty papes on a good day and always burns through his money -- draw pictures for her, tell her all about the Wild West. When the boys at Duane Street tease him, Jack tells them to shut up: this is the one.

Somehow, none of them girls ever is. But when it ends, Jack don't seem too heartbroken. Nothing bothers Jack, nothing Crutchie has ever seen.

Maybe he is the wolf in the picture. Maybe he is the moon.

Seems awfully lonesome.

::::

When Jack talks about New Mexico, Crutchie can't help but worry. He's been working to support himself ever since he was eight, but he's only ever done the kind of jobs people think a cripple can do. Who says anybody would hire guys like them them for farm labor?

Jack hooks his right arm over the top rung of the fire escape ladder and reaches his hand down to take the crutch. He says, "We'll just hafta show 'em, pal. We can find a way to do most anything we wants to. Can't we?" And he pulls Crutchie up behind him.

They stand together on top of the world. No mountains, no majestic pines. Just them and the buildings that crowd all around them, the landscape of the city where he was born. Life ain't fair; he's always knowed that. But in this moment, Crutchie thinks what Jack says might be true.

Because he ain't never felt sorry for Jack, not for a minute. Why would he? Maybe there is folks out there who won't feel sorry for him neither, who will see him for all that he is.

FIN.

#jack and crutchie are bros #why did i write this?#amputee jack kelly #disability solidarity #jack kelly #crutchie morris #newsies #livesies #newsies fanfic #jackcrutchie #tw ableist language #bonnie's newsies aus

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goldenamaranthe-blog · 9 months

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Secrets: Single Mom AU

Blake: (after putting Kela to bed) What a week... I'm sorry you had to deal with that. My mother can be a bit much.

Yang: It's no problem. I'm just glad she didn't kill me. (laughs awkwardly and grows silent)

Blake: ...Is something wrong?

Yang: I was just... uh.... I was just wondering when you were going to tell me you and Kela were going to move to Menagerie.

Blake: (shocked) How'd you hear about that?

Yang: I saw a sign in the window saying the building was under new management. When I asked the owner what was going on, he said that he sold the complex...and dropped that you hadn't renewed your lease... I figured that your mom visiting was just to work out the little details.

Blake: .....Yang...I'm sorry. I just didn't know how to bring it up. My job at Vale Publishing doesn't pay enough for me to afford the new rent. When I told Mom, she suggested we move to Menagerie. There were a lot of pros: Kela wouldn't be bullied at school anymore, we'd be around family, we'd have a big house to live in while I saved up, and I could get a job that pays better.

Yang: Blake, you don't have to explain yourself to me. I get it. I just... wish you had told me instead of me finding out on my own...

Blake: (hugs Yang) I'm still up in the air about it...

Yang: (hugs back) Why? Everything would be so much easier in Menagerie for you and Kela.

Blake: But you won't be there. Kela would miss you so much. I don't think I could look her in the eye and tell her we have to leave and you won't be coming with us.

Yang: ...What about you?

Blake: ...That's really a no-brainer. I love you, Yang. I want to make us work, but a whole continent away...

Yang: Would be hard on everyone... I know... and I love you too. Both you and Kela, more than anything in the world. So I want you to do what's best for the both of you. Don't worry about me.

Blake: (holds Yang tighter and cries)

-One Week Later Offboarding a Ship in Menagerie-

Kela: (holding Blake's hand silently as they make their way to the gangplank)

Blake: ....Are you excited to start a new summer in Kuo Kuana with Grandma and Grandpa?

Kela: I guess...

Blake: (kneels down) Baby, I'm sorry. I know this isn't perfect, but things will be better here. I promise.

Kela: I miss Yang... (sniffs back tears) She didn't even see us off...

Blake: (hugs) I miss her too, baby. I miss her too. But she couldn't take off work.

Blake & Kela: (walk down the gangplank to the dock and see Ghira and Kali waving for them)

Kela: (sees blonde hair hiding behind Ghira, gasps, and sprints down the dock) YANG!!!

Yang: (jumps out from behind Ghira) There's my little fighter! (catches Kela in a bear-hug and holds her tight) OH!!! I swear you got bigger just in one week!

Blake: (rushes up and hugs Yang) What are you doing here?!

Yang: You know. It's a crazy thing. My boss just so happened to need a few foremen to come to Menagerie on a new construction contract. Something about wanting to set up a new office on the island to help with the infrastructure. My name just happened to get pulled out of the hat.

Blake: (wipes tears from her eyes) You're ridiculous.

Yang: But you love me.

Blake: I do.

Kela: I love you too!

Yang: (clutches chest) I love you too, baby girl. (hugs and kisses Blake and Kela) I love both of you so much.

Part 1

#bumbleby #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #single mom au #my heart #why did i write this?#ow

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sleepdeprivedsimp101 · 1 year

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Optimus Prime X FM Reader (One Shot)

"How Is He Falling For Her?"

-So, most people that know me, know that I'm obsessed with transformers and Optimus. I wrote this 13 long page one shot of the Optimus from TFP (Transformers Prime). And I was kinda talked into posting it ...SOOOOO... We're here now 😅. This has no specific plot but I just wanted my brain to feel pretty after writing this.

Warnings: Mentions of sexual assault themes, fluff, and a little bit of spicy stuff at the end.

Word count: 3,619

Song Inspiration:

-Isabel LaRosa - I'm yours

-(Sped Up Version)

Optimus to others is seen as a prime, a leader, a bot with a kind spark, and at some points even cold. He doesn’t mean to be mean, he just probably doesn’t know how to have fun. Or perhaps even relax. While Optimus is seen in such a way, (y/n) knows deep down how he truly feels about his team. She has always grown some type of connection with Prime. The more time that they spend with each other, the more Optimus starts to feel things. Feelings that aren’t familiar to him, but at the same time, intoxicating. Even when you do the littlest things, he can’t help but look. When you talk about your passions, when you laugh, say an idea that helps out missions, the way how you encourage others to do their best…

The way how you look into his optics makes him feel like time has stopped, and only for you two.

…

When your (H/C) hair shines in the sun when the sunrise comes up and makes your eyes turn into a hazel color shimmer.

Literally, everything about you makes every fiber in his metal body, melt and crumble away, he is torn by your beauty and the fact that you were human. He was only an Autobot, nothing could ever happen.

Until one night you went to ask Optimus for a favor, which he quickly approved of. It makes Optimus happy because he always wants to spend as much time with you as possible.

However the request was rather odd, you asked him if he could give you a ride with one other person because they asked you out on a date to the movie theaters. You didn’t want to go but you also didn’t know how to say ‘no’. You couldn’t ask any of your others friends because they would only say just go by yourself.

Optimus is still rather confused about the term “Date”.

“(Y/N), I'm afraid your human terms are still rather confusing. Can you please educate me on this term?”

“Well, for humans when two people seem very interested in each other or are just really close friends, and want to spend more time together just one on one, they go out together to do something fun and usually romantic.”

Optimus understood a little bit more.

“Interesting, but this “Cody” friend of yours from school, I think I recall that you didn’t like his company.”

It hit you at that moment that Optimus must have overheard you complain about Cody to the others and the bots, about how he’s really cool to hang with as a friend but sometimes tries to flirt with you and it makes you icky on the inside.

“Yes, but I just need to be able to deal with him for the rest of the week that way we can get along while we finish this last project for my college class.”

“I need you, Optimus, I need like a third wheel in case something goes wrong.”

Optimus now looks at you with the most love-sick optics after he heard that first line come out of your mouth.

He kneels down on the ground to get closer to you. With his face inches away from yours, he smiles.

“Don’t worry Lady (y/n), I will be there to accompany you and your ‘Date’.”

He says as he rolls his eyes at that last comment.

You laugh and feel some weight lift off your shoulders.

“Thank you thank you Thank you!”

As you said that, you get on your tippy toes to place a kiss on his metal cheek. And walk away without looking back at him.

“I promise I’ll make this up to you. See ya later.”

When you left the room, the prime was still in shock, he goes to touch the side where you kissed him, and starts to overheat a little.

“No need (y/n), you already have.”

He says to himself as he smiles in adoration. -Time skip-

It was finally time for your date with Cody but he texted you to let you know he still needed some more time to get ready so that meant you still had more time to yourself. But you were dreading it even more as every second passes by.

Optimus sees your discomfort, so he walks in front of your view.

“(y/n), are you alright? you seem uneasy.”

“Yeah, I’m totally fine, just a little nervous.”

He didn’t buy your strong act, he knew that you didn’t like this.

“Don’t worry, m’lady, I will be with you the entire time, you won’t be alone, plus I promised to protect you.”

Heat suddenly started to rise in your face, he just called you M’lady.

“Thank you Optimus, also where did you learn that word from?”

“What word?”

“M’lady, You’ve never called me that before.”

“Oh, well I did some research last night with Raph on how dates work, and this term was mentioned as a form of respect to the females and to make them seem like a goddess. Do you think it was wrong for me to say such?”

“OH of course not it's totally fine, I actually kinda find it sweet, nobody has ever really said that to me before. Probably because I’m not pretty enough.”

Optimus’s face contorts in a look of disbelief.

He chuckles.

“Oh, but on the contrary, I highly doubt that, I think you are extraordinarily, beautiful.”

He says as he gives you a smirk and looks you up and down.

This made you feel red in the face. You looked away from him to try to compose yourself.

“Ehem, thank you Optimus, I could say the same about you too.”

“Thank you, and since you like the name, maybe I should call you that more often.”

“Sure if ya want.”

“Very well, M’Lady.”

You think to your self god why did he have to make that sound so sexy?

Miko comes to walk in to see you off.

“Hey, guys are you almost ready for that date?”

Confused by her question.

“What do you mean Miko? I am ready.”

“Seriously you're going in that? No offense.”

“It’s just jeans and a sweater.”

“Yeah, I know but aren’t you supposed to wear dresses and stuff to dates?”

Oh, shoot she was right I was too focused on trying to be on Cody’s good side that I forgot to completely sell it.

“Good call Miko let me go get changed real quick.”

You run off to your dorm area in the base.

-Time skip to when you got done getting dressed.-

You only just popped on a nice simple dress that you barely wear because it’s only for special occasions, it was one of your favorites tho, though it was a blue dress with flowers all over it and it had a little bit of fluff to add style and volume. You loved how easy it was to move in it. While looking at yourself in the mirror, you wondered what a certain someone who think or say if they saw you in this.

Finally, as you walk out. You go to call Optimus he was talking to ratchet at the time but when he turned around to look at you, you see his optics slightly get bigger as they scan your figure.

"Hey, what do you think?" You say as you twirl. And oh how he loved to see you do that in slow motion.

He feels like he could stare at you for hours. He smiles at you with a smile you would see rarely. The kind that makes you feel lovesick.

"Extraordinary" He whispers to himself

"What?"

He stumbles on his thoughts and words.

"You look, magnificent M'lady."

Now it was your turn to stumble on your words. You pulled your gaze away from Optimus and started to get light-headed. Does he really think I’m pretty enough to be called magnificent? How am I possibly going to make all this up to him?

As you overthink and contemplate your self Optimus can’t help but keep looking at you, he almost thought there was something missing, not that you needed any changes to your beautiful outfit but still, he wanted to try to help you in a certain sense.

“If you will excuse me for a moment I think I got something.”

“Um sure, I’ll be here.”

Optimus goes to walk to his bathroom to grab your flower crown that you gave to Optimus, as a thank you for saving your life. It did not fit him at all but he kept it safe and close to him because it meant a lot. Once he retrieved it he went back to meet with you and saw that you were on the phone with someone while looking at yourself in the mirror to make sure everything was okay.

“Alright Cody, we’ll… I mean I’ll see ya soon, bye.”

“-Okay bye sugar-” You hang up and look in the mirror again fixing your hair a bit.

“Do you think I should put my hair up?”

Optimus smiles and walks over to you and kneels down behind you so that the both of you were looking in the mirror

“No, because there wouldn’t be any room for this."

You hum in confusion and then saw Optimus gently put the flower crown on your head, it fell over a little bit on one side but you fixed it.

“Haha awwww, you kept it this whole time?”

“Indeed it is very special to me.”

You turn to look at Optimus with the biggest grin on your face. And you can see how his gaze slowly softens at you as every second passes by. Unfortunately, the moment has to be ruined as Miko runs in saying that you guys were going to be late.

Breaking away from each other's gaze Optimus goes to transform into his vehicle mode, he opens his driver's side door for you to get in. When you got in you then guided Optimus in the direction of Cody's house. The closer you were getting to his place the more nervous and uncomfortable you were getting. Optimus broke you out of your thoughts when he spoke to ask you a question.

“(Y/N), from what I collected from the web there are usually two different types of movie theaters, one indoors and one outdoors. Which one are we going to?”

You thought to your self ‘dang he was fast to look that up.'

“We're going to an outdoor one, that's why we’re picking up Cody.”

Optimus hums to your response but it sounded like he was annoyed by that. “What?”

“Sorry what?”

You start to worry again and start to feel bad that you practically threw Optimus under the bus.

“Do you not like this idea you know if you don’t feel comfortable with him sitting in your seat then I can just-”

“No need, even if I feel some discomfort it doesn’t matter, because I made a promise to you, that I will stay with you the entire night. You matter more.”

You let out a breath of relief at his response. But feel conflicted to ask him a question again.

“Wait so if you're fine with him being in your seat then why did you hum like that earlier?”

“It's because I wasn’t fond of the idea of him getting to look at you the entire night while I would much rather do that.”

…..

Oh dear god, this bot is going to be the death of me.

“HAHA, Optimus are you getting jealous, that's so sweet.”

I had to laugh it off, I lowkey can feel my cheeks burning.

“Maybe I am.”

He said with a bit of a cocky tone in his voice.

Optimus’s Pov:

When we finally pull up to Cody’s house, (Y/N) got to go knock on his door. When he came out he had this stupid grin on his face and went to go hug her. I felt some rising anger in me because she looked like she didn’t like the physical contact. I really perform my arms around her.

When they got to my vehicle Cody tried to get in the front seat, but I locked my door before he could get the chance.

“Hey uhh, the door is locked did you leave the keys inside?”

“Uh no here let me check.”

Oh for the love of the primes let her drive.

“OHHH I’m sorry I forgot this truck only allows me to drive it because of fingerprints and voice activation, plus you don’t have a license to drive semi-trucks so I’ll just take us there,”

I can’t believe she just came up with that excuse for me, it's like she knew. I love this woman.

When she got into the driver's seat she placed her hands on the steering wheels and stepped on the peddle to start driving. There were some points where I was in control but at other points, she took care of me. The entire drive though Cody was actually on his phone, for the most part, he made small takes here and there. But when he would try to make a certain comment to (y/n) to try to impress her or get a reaction, she would fake laugh it off and grip tighter on my steering wheel. I could sense her hands her a little unsteady, so since I have heating sensors, I wormed up the steering wheel to let her know I was here and that it was okay. She relaxed a little bit and smiled to herself.

When getting to the drive-in movie theater and they get their ‘popcorn?’ a very odd name for a type of human substance. The movie that Cody picked was the notebook, it was one of those movie nights where humans go to watch classic films on the big screen. (y/n) mention before actually, it was one of her favorite movies that make her cry every time. Once we parked into our parking spot (y/n) pulled out her blanket and put her knees up to her chest, something that she does on a daily when she feels like it or feels anxious.

While we were watching the movie I could sense that Cody was staring at (y/n) for a time longer than he should have. I could sense her sinking into my seat feeling a little uneasy about this.

“Are you enjoying the movie?” She asked.

“Not really it’s lowkey kinda boring.” He replies

“Oh well, I’m sorry.”

That little– He gets to spend at least 2 hours with her and you say something as inconsiderate as that. If it were me I would watch this movie a thousand times if it meant I got to sit next to her.

“You know I have a better idea.” He comments out of a sly evil tone.

(y/n) doesn’t look over but replies with a ‘what’.

“We could go someplace else and… try something new in our friendship.”

When he said that he reaches over to graze her arm with his disgusting hands.

She flinches away and gets ready to say something.

“You mean like mini golf hehe.”

She replies trying to shake off whatever he was applying.

“Not really, I was thinking something more, personal.”

Then when he started to move his hand to her thigh, that's when I snapped.

I made the seat that he was sitting in jolt up enough for him to get his hand off of her and hit his head.

“WHAT THE, WOAH”

I then opened my door and made the seat kick him out. Then when I did that I drove backward out of the parking spot and drove away from the perv.

“OPTIMUS! What was that? You could have blown your cover.”

“My dear, I will explain to you why I reacted in such a manner but wait until I drive to a more responsible area.”

“I-”

“Trust me, please.”

She takes a second. “Okay, I trust you.”

“Thank you.”

The drive there was quiet, I could sense that the shaking she had felt earlier had calmed down.

I pulled into an abandoned gas station that she and I tend to go to a lot because it was close to her house.

She steps out and I take a moment to transform into my bot form.

“Okay, let me hear it.” She says to me in a demanding stance with her arms crossed, I felt bad for making her unpleased but at the same time, I found her anger surprisingly attractive and intriguing. I’ve never really seen her like this, she usually always has a calm demeanor or a smile on her face.

“uh eh, me first, (y/n) does he do this to you often?”

“No that was just the one time, but he always tries something to get me to sleep with him.”

“I never want you to see or speak to that piece of scrap ever again. I swear if he touches you again I’ll-”

“Optimus, I’m okay I swear, I’ve dealt with thugs like him before and survived.” She states in a manner of cockiness but I know deep down that she hates the fact that she has to deal with such.

“No, it’s not fine (y/n), what if he seriously did something and I would never see you again?”

(Y/N) Pov

Oh, I see what this is about.

“You really care about me huh?”

“Yes, indeed I do.”

“Can you pick me up real quick?”

Optimus doesn’t question it so he does what you ask of him.

He holds you but you weren’t close enough.

“Comer.”

You say, and when he brought you closer, he lifted you near his ear because he thinks you want to tell him something.

But you don’t say anything, instead, you place a quick kiss on his cheek plate. He froze for a moment and goes to stare at you.

“What was that for?” He asks with a smile forming across his face.

“It's me saying thank you, thank you for always being there when I needed you, thank you for saving me. Why? Should I have not done that-”

Without a chance to say anything else. Optimus goes to put you back down, panic started to well up within you thinking you made a mistake. But your overthinking was interrupted when he spoke.

“I really shouldn’t be doing this because it takes too much of my Energon but.”

And then just like that Optimus transforms into his holo form but his solid one. Your eyes widen, you’ve seen his holo form before. His slick back hair with some white strands on the side, red leather jacket, combat boots, and joggers. One or two tiny scars on his face. One on his eyebrow the other just right on the tip of his upper lip. And his beautiful blue eyes that were staring right back at you. They were usually so calm but they looked intense this time, hungry…

Optimus walks up to you to close the distance between you two and goes to put one hand on your waist and the other on your cheek to hold your face. He looks at you with pleading eyes, then you nod your head for his consent. And he gently goes to kiss you patiently. But at the same time, it was rough and hungry, like he had been waiting all this time to be this close to you. But you felt the same feeling right back at him.

You break away with heavy breathing trying to form words and all you could get out was his name. His true name…

“Orion-”

“Shut up-*”

He huffs out and goes to close the distance again. He just couldn’t get enough. At this point, you guys were fighting for dominance, his hands Rome around your fragile frame as your Rome around his hair and his well-built chest.

What feels like minutes pass by you both start to calm down and pull away from each other. After catching your breaths, Optimus goes to look at you and lays his forehead on yours.

“Where did you learn that name from?”

“Ratchet told me, I think it's a very fitting name. But where did you learn to kiss like that or even know what kissing was?”

“I’ve been on this planet for a long time, and besides-” He starts to get close to your ear.

“A true prime never reveals his secrets.”

His distinctive voice and sly tone sent shivers down your whole body, when he backed away his face a little, you saw one of the most devilish smiles you’ve ever seen him make. It was hot.

You become even more flushed and go to bury your head into his chest, he chuckles and holds you tighter, and looks up at the stars.

“You’re very beautiful when your face turns red you know that?”

“Shut up.”

You laugh.

“Should we head back to base?”

You ask.

“Hmmm, perhaps we shall stay here a bit longer, I want to keep holding you.”

“But what about your Energon?”

“Hmmm”

“Okay 5 more minutes, okay?”

you reply in defeat.

“Good, that will also leave me time to kiss you more.”

You laugh out loud and try to pull away but Optimus still holds you in his grip smiling to himself trying to get close to your lips again.

You think to yourself after that night, what will become of you and Optimus’s relationship? Friends with benefits? Something more. But at the same time, you just don’t want to care or worry, you’re just finally feeling some form of happiness for the first time in a long time.

#Tfp optimus prime #Optimus prime x reader #Optimus one shots #Optimus prime #transformers #Transformers prime #Transformers x reader #Optimus x y/n #Transformers x y/n #why did I write this?#Robots are hot #Fanfiction #Fanfic #Transformers fanfic #Optimus fanfic

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mortonsaltlad · 27 days

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Ok, is it just me, or does “neurotypical” sound like an insult…

like, imagine you are in an argument with someone and they just up and call you neurotypical. Like, what are you going to do about it?

Honestly at that point the only thing you can do is just go home, cry, and proceed to eat an entire family sized bag of Chex Mix while lying on the couch.

And then the only thing that can bring you some solace is when you find one of those Chex pieces with extra seasoning on it. It is a brief light, a flash of lightning dispelling the cruel darkness of our world. But even that is a fading happiness. A cruel mockery of joy. Yet it is better than the ensuing all consuming void. The numbness of existence, so severe that it is palpable.

Things probably get better if you buy some ice cream though idk.

#neurodivergent #neurotypical #shitpost #mentally unwell #why did I write this?#like it’s not even funny it’s just weird

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rhythmgamer · 1 year

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i just woke up (again). anyone using Android. listen to me. open Settings. search for Private DNS in your Settings (if you don't have a search bar, it should be somewhere in the Connections settings).

Open Private DNS. click on "Private DNS provider hostname". now input this without the quotes: "dns.adguard-dns.com". Save.

There you go. no ads for you on anywhere (except streaming services which have ads inbuilt in them but they have different methods to get rid of ads)

but ❗ warning ❗ in case you're uninstalling and reinstalling Enstars for some reason, turn off the adblocker during the process. you can turn it on again after you get back again into your Enstars account

#shashi rambling #adblocking #why did i write this?#idk I'm still sleepy man

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theinheriteddutchess · 4 months

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A Horror Story

Summary: fanfic lovers deep down inside (aka a writer's worst nightmare)

Warnings: crazy behavior? Scary situations? Nightmare?

Notes: this came to me when I thought of my musings about @asirensrage 's stories. It's another weird way of expressing my appreciation... But maybe also terrifying said person🤔😶‍🌫️

I hereby state that I would never

×××××

“I did it for you.”

You looked upon the serene smile of the person in front of you. You were calm. Weirdly so. You knew you were supposed to react, do anything, but your mind couldn't truly capture it yet.

“What did you do?” You whispered.

“I was helping you,” the other told you proudly. “You always said you were having so many WIPs. And you kept coming up with more of them. You were clearly overwhelmed. And you never finished your other stories.”

“So…you just deleted them?” You could barely get out the words, slowly realizing all your hard work was lost. All the files, back ups, all the notes. Just gone.

You felt nauseous looking at the other, with that weird calm demeanor and that creepy joyful grin on their face.

“Yes! Aren't you glad? Now you can focus on that story you wanted to finish.”

“You mean your favorite story?!” You knew that much.

“Well. Yes. You were going to let me wait forever. Very unfair, by the way. But I'm not mad. Not anymore. I found the solution. You should be happy. You should be thanking me! I helped you,” the other said, a maniacal glint in their eyes. “I will do anything for you.”

The end.

#oc x writer #fanfiction #a Horror Story #a truly terrifying tale #reader x writer #a writers worst nightmare #oc x reader (platonic)#literally mock warnings #might be a whole nother situation after the end #although still scary. just the thought!#won't be held responsible #why did i write this?#this would be so bad #to anyone who's every lost their stuff no matter what cause 🥂

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a-world-trapped-in-a-person · 9 months

Text

Toilet bowl

Here I am

Once again

At the toilet bowl

I want to vomit

But my stomach doesn't

Gastritis determined to

Give me hell

The sun is coming up

I can see the light

From the little window

In the bathroom

But I can't enjoy

A little sunrise

Because my body is rebelling

Against me.

#why did i write this?#idk #gadtritis delulu #i have a cls in an hour or so #but what can i do?#a world trapped in a person #funny poems #short poems #poems #short poem #original poem #poem #gastritis #gastric issues

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kcuf-ad · 1 year

Text

Ai: Oh, oh! Looks Like our little Yusaku has a crush on Skye!

Yusaku: No, I don't.

Kolter: Wow, in denial already, bud? How shocking.

Yusaku: In denial? Why would I be in denial?

Ai: Well for starters, you meatbag, you have seen to be much more happier around her and did that creepy thing with your mouth.

Yusaku:...smiling?

Ai: Yeah, it gives me the creeps bro.

Yusaku: That doesn't mean I have feelings for her, I just felt happier around her, that Is all.

Kolter: Didn't you once blush when she complimented you?

Yusaku: I was emberassed, people blush when they are emberassed.

Kolter: Yeah right. Look, you can stop Being in denial, and just confess already, we won't tell anyone.

Yusaku:... You are typing with Theodore on the phone.

Kolter:...*closes the phone*

Yusaku: Another thing, I don't have feelings for her, not in the slightest, I only think of her as a friend, it is not Like I keep thinking about her at night.

*Later, at night*

Yusaku: ... Ah, Crap.

#why did i write this?#yugioh vrains #ai vrains #cal kolter #yusaku fujiki #angelmakershipping #yugioh vrains incorrect quotes #loosely based on gravity falls #i think stardustmadien and I make up like 60% of thr angelmaker tag

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occasionally-good-authoring · 1 year

Text

Dead Breath

@indigothemuse

tw: blood mention/description, death mention

Simon Lewis is a vampire. Simon Lewis is a Downworlder. Simon Lewis was a mundane. Simon Lewis was off limits. But maybe worst of all, Simon Lewis wasn’t a girl.

What he was, was the kind of person so alive he dragged the humanity out of everyone else. He was the vampire who didn’t run away the from the fight, instead running towards Jace through that Hellmist.

He was the one who Jace dragged bloody through the Portal, forgetting the rules of the Clave for long enough to get the stupid Daylighter out of New York and into the worst possible place for him to be.

Jace wasn’t thinking about more than Simon’s blood soaking into his black shirt. Sense only hitting him when Jia Penhallow carried Simon to an empty bedroom and Jace stared in the mirror of the bathroom closest to Simon.

“They’re going to kill him,” he whispers to his reflection. The roots of his hair are showing, a red tinted brown leading into gold. Hair the color of dried blood. He turns of the sink and tries to scrub the copper red deep dark almost purple blood off his hands.

“They’re going to kill him,” he whispers to the blood that won’t come off his hands. The water runs pink but the blood stays on his hands. His shirt smells like when he found Simon on the boat, coppery and of death.

Dead. Dead like his father should be. Dead like his falcon. Dead like he thought Simon was. Dead like dead and Jace can’t breath if he’s going to keep breathing in death.

“They’re going to kill him.”

He steps out of the bathroom, death still stuck in his lungs, Simon’s blood on his hands, his shirt, his life. Simon will be hungry when he wakes up, Jia always keeps a steak in the fridge. Simon can drink the blood from that, can’t he?

Jace stands outside the door with a flask of long dead blood in his jacket. He hears Izzy talk, then he hears Simon’s voice, awake and alive and bright and dead and alive alive alive. He waits, he breaths in death and he waits. For what, he doesn’t know until he’s not waiting and the words coming out of his mouth aren’t what he wants to say.

But they haven’t ever been so he keeps saying them. When Simon doubles over, he begs Jace to make Izzy leave. Izzy looks to Jace, rolling her eyes with a sigh that he knows means Can you believe him? Like I’m leaving.

“Izzy, go.” She protests, he knew she would. “Listen to me Izzy, or I’ll pick you up and carry you out.”

Izzy leaves with a slam. Simon starts talking, he’s hungry, stumbling over his words and mumbling a sorry in there. Jace throws him the flask, then helps him unscrew it when his hands shake to hard to even hold it.

He has to pour it into Simon’s mouth. The Daylighter smiles sheepishly, Jace screws the cap onto the flask and puts it back in his jacket. He stands up, throwing some stupid remark that flares anger in Simon’s eyes.

“Alec wants to see you, Jace. It’s about Simon,” Izzy says. She’s come back in the room. Simon insists on coming too, and won’t let Jace make him stay. So he throws another insult he doesn’t mean and keeps quiet as Simon and Izzy talk.

“They want to see Simon, I’ll come back for him when they want him, but make sure he’s decent enough whenever I get back.”

Alec leaves, and Jace finds himself saying something he never really wanted to do. Talk to Simon alone. Or maybe the thing he wanted to do too much.

Maybe he just wants to talk to Simon alone while Simon’s still alive. Alive with his bright smiles, burning eyes, bouncing steps, breathing lungs, tanned skin, curled hair.

Simon looks to Jace, and the corner of his mouth quirks up and Simon stands up. Jace’s heart beats hard.

“Fine, lets go.”

Simon follows Jace through the hallways on the Penhallow house, into the library that only Jia uses. Jia isn’t here, they’ll be left alone. Alone with Jace’s death and Simon’s life. He finds a small nook between a bookshelf and the wall and tucks him and Simon into it.

Close enough to feel Simon’s breath on his cheek.

“What is this about? Mad I bled all over you?” There’s a challenge in Simon’s voice, so Jace takes it.

“This does happen to be my favorite jacket, for your information, but that’s now my problem with you currently. I told you to tell everyone that Clary was staying in New York. Willingly. To stay with her mother. Neither of us need them bringing her here.”

“You mean you don’t want her here. Because if she’s here, you look like the asshole you are, won’t they, Wayland,” Simon hisses, his breath cold on Jace’s cheeks. Jace pushes Simon against a bookshelf.

“Shut the hell up, Lewis. I don’t what her here because I want Clary safe. I thought maybe we wanted the same thing, for once. If you want to go pick her up and bring her through the Forsaken, be my guest.”

Simon pushes Jace into the wall, his back cracking. Simon’s not used to his strength, guilt flashing in his eyes. So Jace smirks and stomps on Simon’s foot. Better anger than guilt in Simon’s eyes, anger keeps people alive, guilt gets people dead.

“You absolutely dick. Tell me what this is really for, Wayland, or next time I drink your blood it won’t be to save my life.” A lie, they both know it.

“I told you Lewis, I needed you to tell them Clary wanted to stay in New York.”

“Know what I need? You to shut the hell up and stop lying to me. If that’s what you wanted, you wouldn’t have dragged me back here.”

In truth, Jace doesn’t know why he dragged Simon back here. But he knows the anger in Simon’s eyes makes him feel just a tiny bit as alive as Simon.

He also knows that Simon isn’t angry because of Clary, or Jace, or the reason Simon even got dragged into this mess that’s going to kill him.

“Tell me what you want from this, Lewis. Tell me why you’re so angry that I wanted you to tell them something so goddamn simple. What the he.l dl you want right now, because it sure as hell isn’t what you’re saying it is.”

Simon breaths hard, staring right into Jace’s eyes. Anger burned, something else behind it. Something that made Simon lean closer, close enough for Jace to count even the smallest freckles on Simon’s face.

“I want you to kiss me. Prove to me that this isn’t about Clary, and fucking kiss me.”

There’s still anger in Simon’s eyes, a smile on his lips. Jace doesn’t smell death anymore, the life Simon has filling his lungs.

So Jace kissed him. He kissed him like it was a challenge, and maybe it was. He kissed him like it was the last thing he’d ever do. He kissed him and he kissed him and he kissed him, pushing him against the bookshelf again.

Jace is alive, gasping for breath in between desperate kisses of death. Simon might die tonight, but what’s a few more kisses with a dead guy, and Jace won’t let Simon die more than he is already.

He won’t let Simon die tonight. No, he won’t let Simon die. Even when Simon’s blood is covering his hands, Jace Wayland won’t let Simon Lewis die.

“You actually did it. You madman, you actually kissed me. You kissed me.” Simon laughs, breathless and gasping for the oxygen he doesn’t need.

“Angel, Simon, of course I did,” Jace breathes. His hands are on Simon’s neck, curls falling onto Jace’s fingers. “You told me to.”

Simon pushes Jace off of him, anger flaring back into his eyes. Brown eyes narrow and Jace’s shoulders dig into the wall.

“So that’s why you kissed me. Some sick joke so you can guilt me into lying to all of them. You pretentious asshole.”

Simon starts to walk away, Jace grabs his wrist, even know Simon could pull away in a second if he wanted to. Simon doesn’t, but he rips his wrist out of Jace’s grip.

“I kissed you, Lewis, and I don’t kiss people for stupid reasons. That, Lewis, would be a stupid reason.”

“Then tell me what you kissed me for. Tell me why you kissed me.” Jace pulls Simon back into the nook. Simon doesn’t try to push out of the nook.

“I kissed you because you’re alive, you’re alive so much it hurts.”

Simon leans close, lips grazing Jace’s. Just when Jace thinks Simon is going to kiss him, Simon whispers onto his lips,

“If it hurts, why kiss me?”

“I’m no stranger to pain, Lewis. Now fucking kiss me or leave.”

And Simon kissed him. Hard and soft, back pressed hard against the bookshelf and Jace is no stranger to pain. And he kisses him back, he kisses him back, and he kisses him back, pushing right on back.

Two dead breaths mingling in a nook of the library, life seeping out of them.

Simon Lewis isn’t a girl, but damn is he a good kisser. Simon Lewis is a vampire, a Downworlder, a Daylighter, and so fucking alive. And Jace isn’t going to say no to breathing in Simon’s life.

#i wrote this way too fast #motivation hit and in two hours i had this #shit man #this may be one of my favorite things i’ve ever written #why did i write this?#because read book three and tell me this scene i rewrote wasn’t a tiny (big) bit gay #jace herondale #jimon #simon lewis #the mortal instruments #jace x simon #tmi #izzy lightwood

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bo-bo-bean · 10 months

Text

Curing a Phobia (chapter one)

Curing a Phobia

Chapter One: Dandruff of a Wimp

“Alligator teeth, for sure!” Giggles laughed with an ecstatic look written on her face. Flaky heard herself yelp before she could even think of the thought. Sharp teeth crammed into her jaw? That’s an accident waiting to happen! What if she bit her tongue? It would be no more!

“Really? Cause I would love shark teeth,” Petunia added in her own answer. That was even worse, it felt like…! Losing teeth constantly, biting the cheek. If she drew blood with sharp teeth, would she want to eat others? Would sharks be considered cannibals? Not to mention if she died, they would only see the teeth! She learned it from wondering if shark week was a week to worry about sharks, so she did extensive research and regretted it.

The two were in the middle of a game of Would You Rather. Flaky, hearing both options, couldn’t help but overanalyze every option until the two grew bored and changed to the next round. They tried their best to include Flaky, but perhaps their choices were too much for her. Still, they offered sympathetic smiles to her, as they did every time she discussed the options.

“What about you, Flaky?” Giggles wondered. The porcupine felt her quills slant down. She grew worried and wondered if they would fall off.

“U-um…” she spoke up. Her mind raced like rapid waters and it felt as if her throat was being grabbed by two hands destined to end her life. “I-... it… um… does it have to… be just either…? I… I would like, um… bird teeth.” Giggles sighed with an eye roll.

“Birds don’t have teeth,” Petunia oh so helpfully pointed out.

“I-I know! I know that… let me just… think…”

“Flaky, it’s just two options…!” the chipmunk had tried to patiently tease but it came off a bit abrasive. “Alligator or shark?”

“N-neither…!”

They both groaned.

“Flaky, we’re really trying, really…” Petunia softly spoke. Feeling guilty, Flaky looked down. The skunk, sharing the reaction, huffed and took Flaky’s hand. “I didn’t mean it like that…”

“I-I know…” she nodded softly. Lammy waltz over with a few sandwiches and cups of tea.

“Aww is everything alright?”

“Yeah…” Giggles looked at her friend with a smile she mustered up quickly. “Thanks.”

“It’s just… you’re scared of so much and we don’t even know what the things are most of the time, or even the reasonings.”

“I-I wish I knew too,” Flaky rubbed her arm.

“Well we DO know some things,” Petunia said outloud. “Spiders, snakes, baby chickens.”

“Waterslides, ponds, airplanes,” Giggles continued, counting her fingers. “Is there anything you’re scared of most?”

The quilled friend tugged at one of her spikes, some dandruff falling to the floor beneath her. She gulped her dry mouth. “... Flippy…”

This got the two to nod understandingly.

“Okay that one I see,” she agreed. “But… Flippy’s a pretty nice guy…! Honest…!”

“Yeah! He loves playing games with us…!”

“N-no!” she shouted. “H-he’s a monster…! He’s hurt so many…!”

“Flaky! He’s not a monster…!” the pink one chastised. “We don’t and won’t know what he’s been through, but he’s a friend of ours, like you are to us…!”

“Besides,” the skunk shrugged, picking up her tea. “He’s neat, that’s a good thing to have in a friend.”

“And loves to laugh!”

“He’s scary to me…” Flaky’s eyes downcasted south again. The two could only share glances, wondering what isn’t scary to her.

“Pass him, pass him!” Toothy screamed.

“No, don’t even! Don’t you dare, I swear!” Cuddles reacted with intensity. Flippy grinned as he propped himself on his knees, controller in hands. He accelerated his character in the digital car, hugging the wall of the track. “I’m gonna make it! I’m gonna make it!”

But before his own character could fly over the checkered line, Flippy’s car flew right by, gaining speed from drift points. “NOOOOOOO!!!”

Defeated, Cuddles dramatically flung himself to the carpet. “Curse you! Curse you all to hell!”

“Ha! ‘The veteran isn’t that good at video games’, hm?” Flippy beamed with pride. Toothy bowed to Flippy on his knees.

“Ye are worthy! We are not! Ye are worthy! We are not!” he chanted. This caused Flippy to snort and erupt into laughter. Cuddles merely groaned on the floor.

“My highscore… My life… ruined!”

“Oh come on, it’s just a game.”

“It’s my livelihood!”

“Trust me, it isn’t.”

Flippy helped the dramatic rabbit up and then stood up himself. “Come on, I’ll let you beat me next time. For now, let’s get something to eat. I’m starving.”

“Let me!?” Cuddles feigned shock and offensiveness.

“Ooohoo! He got you!” Toothy grinned like a maniac, holding Flippy’s shoulders. “Now fetch something for the king.”

“Stahahap…!” Flippy snickered. “Let’s all just grab something out. My treat.”

“... you serious?” Cuddles lost his pridelessness for a few seconds to see if he heard that right.

“Yeah, I’ll even let you pick the-”

“Hell yeah!” he bounced back to life. “We’re going to Guppy Grub!”

With shared smiles, Toothy put the game on pause and followed Cuddles and Flippy outside.

“You sure you wanna pay?” he asked.

“Yeah, I don’t mind,” he shrugged. “Besides, I’m caught up with bills and groceries, so unless there’s a robbery, I think I’ll be alright.”

“Ya heard the man!” the bunny concluded.

Walking down the icy sidewalk, Flippy looked up at the sky, getting lost in the snow falling down and grabbing at his fur ever so gently. It was winder and while regular bears hibernate, he didn’t need to. Just on some days, he was lethargic and would pass out anywhere when the weather got cool. He once found himself in the hospital because he passed out at the top of stairs. The doctors remarked how he only got a broken arm from his body basically ragdolling down seven stories.

“Are you feeling tired?” Toothy decided to ask. Flippy broke out from his trance.

“Oh no, not today,” he shook his head. “Yesterday I caught up on sleep when you guys wanted to invite me over.”

“Probably for the best,” the bucktoothed friend looked at the eager rabbit. “Knowing Cuddles, he would draw a mustache on you.”

“I would not!” he defended quickly. “I would put you in the Ancenstor Fellow pose they always do.” Thinking about the though, he sniggered and trotted right next to the bear.

“Yeah, I feel like you would.” Flippy’s eyes went back up to the sky.

He was glad he wasn’t too tired. Winter was his favorite season. Everything was clean and beautiful and the snow falling was so hypnotic. He would watch it for hours while snuggled in his bed out the window. Admiring it while it made piles against the glass along with his thick fur made him tired and thinking about that feeling nearly got him stumbling.

“Woah!” the beaver caught his arm. “You alright?”

“I think it’s too slick for him,” Cuddles grabbed his other arm. But as if on cue, his wasn’t looking where he was going and felt his feet slide out from under him. A slanted sidewalk due to the incompetence of a certain blue moose and the ice made Cuddles fall into the powdery snow. Since he was clutching to Flippy’s arm already, he brought him and Toothy down.

“Pfft you wihihing nut!” Toothy clamped some snow and pushed it into his face. “Was that on purpose!?”

“I sweahahar it wasn’t!”

“Suuuuure sure, yeah I’ll remember that, garuntee!” he looked back at Flippy. “You alright?”

“Yes yes, I am,” he nodded, sitting up. “Just lost my thought for a second.”

“You sure? You aren’t tired?”

“Nah,” he shook his head, taking off some snow in the process. “... winter is beautiful.”

“It is,” the beaver smiled in agreement.

“I think the only person who would hate winter is Flaky. She always feared icicles.”

Cuddles looked at Flippy and Toothy for backup, but he saw Flippy looking a little saddened.

“... now you’ve done it,” the freckles beaver glared. “Flippy?”

“... just… thinking,” he rubbed the back of his neck. “... I wish I could get along with Flaky. She really seems nice.”

“Hey, it’s her loss man, you’re awesome!” Cuddles pointed out as he poked his arm. His jacket was noticeably more plush due to his fur thickening.

“No no, I… I think she’s just… scared of me,” he admitted. “Every time I’m around, she cowers or just hides. I… I think I’m doing something wrong, but I don’t really know what.”

The two best friends were silent now. They didn’t know what to say since… it was true. Flaky avoided Flippy like the plague. It kind of made sense, though. He was in the war, moving to this town right after deployment for unknown reasons. And there were his… episodes. He became a whole different person. Flippy was kind, clumsy, goofy, this other him was… not. He had the most menacing yellow eyes and a predatorial pair of teeth. It scared everyone, yes, but they knew Flippy wasn’t this monster. Well… almost everyone. “... I think I’m a monster to her…”

“That’s not true…!” Cuddles argued. “When I first came here, man, she was TERRIFIED! Just because I skateboard all around! She was scared of getting run over!”

“She didn’t like how big my tail was,” Toothy offered any comfort he could.

“Well it’s fake, anybody would be sca-ow!!” Toothy threw another pile of snow at the rabbit, then looked at Flippy.

“Point is… Flaky isn’t really a people person, but she’ll adjust…! It may take longer with you because she’s never been… to w-a-r,” he spelled out slowly as to not panic the already saddened bear. “But… she will. You’re really an awesome guy.”

This made him smile at him, give a nod and breathe in and out slowly.

“Thanks… I appreciate it…”

“Yeah, of course!”

“Can we go now? I’m freezing my butt off and I’m hungry…!”

They all stood back up, walking to Russell’s restaurant. Flippy was smiling, happy to have had that talk, but Cuddles and Toothy? They themselves were now the ones lost in thought.

#happy tree friends #htf #htf flippy #htf cuddles #htf toothy #htf flaky #htf Petunia #htf giggles #why did i write this?#don't know #but i like it #poor flippy #poor flaky #both are beans #yes this time you have to wait for chapters #no taksie backsies #or however you spell it

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