#why did the quality get so fucking BAD

[goodbyealbert]

I literally never post here 💀

have this old 80s or 90s Nintendo ad

#nintendo #what the fuck is wrong with me #I should really post more often #welcome back to me ig #80s #90s #the quality is so bad it could kill a victorian child #damn I kind of want those boxers #why did this get so many likes

[constantvariations]

Always funny when folks say "rwby isn't bad - look at how many seasons it has!" as if The Big Bang Theory didn't almost outlast the sun

#rwde #fuck tbbt all my homies hate tbbt #also did yall forget that good shows get cancelled all the time? especially ones w actual diverse cast and crew? #like. theres a whole ass strike abt it rn #there are shows so good that canceling them should be considered a crime against humanity #and ones getting continued so bad that it's also a crime against humanity #and that doesnt even cover shows that started amazing only to bomb so hard they're swept under the rug #*cough* game of thrones *cough* #i thank those writers every day for fucking up so bad that i never hear abt that damn show anymore #quantity does not equal quality #no idea why but im suddenly reminded of fruits basket and now i need to reread or rewatch it #maybe both

[the-valiant-valkyrie]

if i told you guys i made a 30 minute game review/game design analysis on ieytd2 in comparison to the first one would you believe me and follow up quastion would you still love me if i told you that was over a year ago and i never actually finished it

#ieytd #i got all the audio down but fuck if i know how to capture good visuals with the quest 2 dude. it sucks so bad. #WHY DOES IT ONLY RECORD IN 6:6 WITHOUT A CABLE. ITS A QUEST 2. THE LACK OF CABLES IS THE APPEAL. #been feeling very demotivated recently with the release of the third game on the rise #i'm obviously incredibly excited but it also feels like a countdown to the day half a year's progress becomes obsolete #and even if i *did* get good quality recordings theres no guarantee my fiddly computer or editing software won't ruin it another way #it is what it is i guess. but its still demoralizing. makes me regret taking on difficult projects that i dont fully know how to do #anyways. i was gonna get an ice cream but it started thundering outside so its been a very fucked up and evil day all around

[iindigo-puff]

last concert of the year; how to train your dragon soundtrack ft. Actual Dragons

#music #personal #oh look who’s blogging #basically orchestra #(I HAVEN’T USED THAT TAG SINCE LIKE 2015 WTFFFF) #this was the last concert of the (academic) year and it was a bunch of the music societies getting together and performing for 15 mins each #and we (symphonia orchestra) closed the concert with the absolute banger of all bangers: how to train your dragon #we played it in the first semester and we had a running joke that to introduce it we’d have plush dragons on stage with us #and since it was the last concert we were all like ‘FUCK IT why not’ #so we did our first two pieces and then gave closing remarks whilst I distributed the dragons #and we played the last piece with our dragons out #the bad boy pictured went in the bell of the bass clarinet it was great #technically it was my dragon and I play flute but the clarinetist’s dragon was too big to fit in the clarinet lol #n e wayzzz it was a great show and I was tearing right up towards the end of the piece lol #soz 2 every1 that followed me for fs hope u enjoy my QUALITY posts abt musical dragons too lmao #but what u DON’T know is that this blog was originally me music blogging so jokes on the rest of u teehee #yes this is lame no I do not care #original content

[shamblz]

Boomer broke the skiving machine at work again >:^)

#hes transphobic so its funny that hes bad at his job and has already caused damage that cost hundreds of pounds to fix #even before he outed himself as a bigot i didnt like him cuz i find him to be incessantly annoying #he sealed his fate when i was training him n he muttered under his breath that he did it wrong becuase i was talking to him #when. i was telling him what to do in order to not fuck it up. #he tries to be nice n helpful but to the point of he doesnt listen n runs off before u can finish what u were saying so he does it wrong #and he is also racist #so honestly fuck him i cold shoulder him as much as i can get away with when the whole office isnt much better #which is why i wanna change jobs now #n the company is probs gonna sink soon anyway cuz production director is an idiot #oh supervisor just came back n apparently this is probs gonna be over 1k to fix LMAO! #n we cant do quality testing of we cant use the skiving machine #last time he broke it he tried to say it wasnt him as well when he was the only one whod used it that day #i just really resent this guy n i cant really express it cuz theres like 6/7 ppl in the offices max #n everyone else at least gets on with him a lil bit #so i sit here n stew in schadenfreude every time he fucks up

[etoile-gracieuse]

hm. actually i think that i will not be on social media for the foreseeable future.

#constantly thinking abt the tweet thats like #i shudder to think abt how some of u wouldve reacted to the haitian revolution #murder of civilians is bad!! why is this only discussed when colonized ppl fight back and never #within the context of the actual colonization open air prison and apartheid conditions #the murders of children and journalists and other civilians is inexcusable. so lets think abt how the average age in gaza is 18. #i dont have any solutions to offer but like. wow there's some super dehumanizing shit going on #'70 killed in israel 198 dead in gaza' is literally a headline i saw today. israelis are killed palestinians just magically drop dead ig #thousands of palestinians have been murdered senselessly. that is ALSO evil like how can you not see that the conditions created set this u #said conditions created by european nations who were like yeah best option to deal w jewish refugees? colonization. #i thoroughly condemn hurting civilians. which means i thoroughly condemn israel for their actions since the beginning #AND i condemn hamas' attacks on civilians. bc you can do both! but ppl dont see palestinians as ppl so violence against them is w/e ig #like how can you watch the videos of palestinians being violently thrown out of their homes from like. 2019. and think 'yeah this is fine' #i just dont get it. how do u see a military that killed 220 ppl. shot 8k. injured 36k. when they did an UNARMED PROTEST. as THE victim here #analysis of the causes of things is not justification btw. i think terrorism is bad. but this didnt happen in a fucking vacuum #putting 2mil ppl in an openair prison after forcing them out of their homes. constant news stories abt killing children nurses + journalist #reducing their quality of life. pouring CEMENT IN THEIR DRINKING WATER???? is fucking evil shit

[wild-at-mind]

Don’t have time to elaborate on this at the mo, (ETA apparently I did in the tags) but it’s starting to get really weird how much people want to equate early 90s homophobic edginess made by straight people with queerness as we understand it today.

#i know everything is super interpretable and fluid now but it wasn't back then #that's why straight people felt safe doing this stuff #not even just straight people but it came from mainstream straight culture #i think this is why i often find fandom uncomfortable #like i decided to dip my toe into listening to gwar after seeing them live on tuesday which was a fucking blast #their live shows man everyone should see at least one #but their back catalogue is vast and varied in quality #so i played skumdogs of the universe and it was probably the most enjoyable sound i had heard in the selection i tried from a playlisyt #but it's also speckled with casual homophobia and racism #as was normal when people did shock jock shit in the early 90s #i was telling my bf that i would describe it as not as bad as it could have been for the time i guess #the marshall mathers lp came out years later and is CONSIDERABLY more homophobic while going for a similar tone #and is still regarded as a classic record #anyway now i go on tumblr looking for gwar stuff to reblog and i'm finding people saying actually gwar is queer??? #like.....no it's not!! #this is why i try to not get into bands with characters fuckin hell #becuase they get fandoms and fandoms are just like this and i hate it #gwar get a pass by me because they put far more efffort into the spectacle of the show than building their lore #but there is no way in hell i'm ever learning the lore of the gorilaz or something fuck off #i ranted but honestly i don't want to take away anyone's thing like if you really believe that gwar is the essence of queerness #i'm glad for you but for me it's super patriarchal metal shit that's fun in small-medium doses

[pathetic-gamer]

me, an hour ago: "fuck, the stove is on! what do we do?" [immediately does all the wrong things]

PSA: What NOT to do when you smell gas

In this situation, we got home to a smell of gas throughout the house and discovered our gas stove was on without a flame. it was only a tiny stream, and everything turned out fine, but here's a brief list of everything we did wrong:

NOTE: this is for if you smell significant amounts of gas, not a blanket list for all possible gas situations. (If you aren't aware, the methane**/natural gas used in houses smells vaguely like sulfer, or rotten eggs - this is an additive, since it has no natural smell. It's a very recognizable smell, once you've smelled it once. It's not the same smell as gasoline.)

1. If your stove has an electrical/spark ignition, do NOT turn it off.

Spark ignitions often spark when turning on *and* off. Spark + Gas = Boom. Boom is bad. Avoid boom.

Instead, turn off the gas at the source, i.e. the physical valve at the meter. There may be a smaller valve near the stove. If you don't know where the shutoff is, the fire department will find it.

2. Do NOT turn on (or off) vents or fans.

In fact, don't flip any electrical switches - that includes lights, plugging in or unplugging appliances, etc. These cause sparks. Spark + Gas = Boom.

Also, don't start your car. obviously.

3. Do NOT open windows

counterintuitive, I know. This is mostly because you want to prioritize your exit, but it's also to keep the fumes from spreading outside, where you should be waiting for the ~professionals~ to come handle it.

4. DO take all people and pets outside.

Do this very first!! (one thing we actually did right - go us!)

This is obviously because you don't want to go boom, but you also don't want to suffocate. Gas is poison!

NOTE: the gas from your stove is probably methane (natural gas); carbon monoxide is what you get when methane burns, which is why your kitchen needs to be well-ventilated and the stove shouldn't be left burning for long periods of time, but the natural gas itself is *also* potentially deadly. Carbon monoxide detectors dont detect natural gas, so that's what the odorous additive is for.

Inhaling natural gas causes nausea, headaches, dizziness, and makes you just generally woozy, and eventually causes you to lose consciousness and potentially suffocate, just like carbon monoxide does. We don't want that.

5. DO call the fire department/emergency line

They'll check for other leaks, shut gas off if needed, then test for air quality and eventually clear your house for reentry. It takes like 1-2 hours for the gas to dissipate, generally.

Yay, you survived! Congrats!!

NOTE: if you find the stove has been left on with a flame, or it's on with no flame but you don't smell gas, then you should be safe to just open windows and turn on vents and fans to air it out.

idk, this was actually pretty scary, especially when we realized how much of our immediate response was wrong and could have turned a dangerous situation into a real disaster.

tl;dr: If you smell gas when you shouldn't be smelling gas, just get all the people and animals outside, shut off the gas line, and call the fire department or gas company. don't fuck around with gas. you're not overreacting, you're taking the proper safety measures.

**CORRECTED FROM ORIGINAL VERSION. Original said propane, but it's very much not propane, it's methane. too much Hank Hill on the brain, clearly.

#safety #home safety #kitchen safety #☕️🥧 #stay safe

[he-calls-me-kitten]

Dirty Dozen (ft. +2)

GN! MC x Pervert! OM Characters

(Cause y'all seemed to love the first one omg. Also TW: I made everyone wayy more sleazy and nasty than before so read at your own risk. MInors DNI)

Pervert! Mammon who likes to ask you for something specifically when your hands are full. "MC, lend me a few Grimm could ya?" He asks when you're in the middle of cooking.

"My hands are covered in cake batter, just take some from my back pocket."

"Are you sure it's there? Let me check both pockets." He isn't so much searching for coins as much as he's feeling and practically groping your ass. Seriously you start to wonder how it's taking him 20 minutes to find something that's right there.

Pervert! Solomon who keeps his room colder than usual when you come over for magic lessons.

"Is it too cold for you MC? I apologise, I kept it this way because some of the potions have bad reactions to heat but if you'd like-"

"I'm absolutely fine, Solomon. You worry about me too much." You smile at him reassuringly, not noticing how his eyes are so eagerly trained at your nipples perking up through your thin t-shirt.

Boner Bonus points if you allow him to hug you for some warmth. His fingers will definitely brush against your chest more than once.

Pervert! Beel who seems to make a mess whenever he's trying to help you in the kitchen. "I'm so sorry, MC. I didn't mean to spill it on your hands!"

"It's okay Beel, it's just some cream and syrup. I can just wash it off right away."

"But it's such a waste. Please allow me." He starts to thoroughly lick your fingers and you shake your head and let him knowing his fixations on food.

But he can't help it - you taste so good. He secretly wonders what you might taste like down there, drooling at the thought.

Pervert! Levi who has taken to sitting on pillows Japanese style while gaming and offers you the same. Sure enough you don't even suspect an ulterior motive.

"Did you get inspired by some human world anime again? Careful though - your legs and butt will start to cramp after a while."

"MC you're too gracious! Caring so much for an otaku like me!"

After you leave, he promptly takes the pillow you were sitting on and puts it in his bathtub. He's going to sleep on it ofc. Your scent on it helps him jerk off better.

Pervert! Belphie who now asks you to rub his belly till he falls asleep. "What's so funny?" He asks as you giggle at his request.

"Since when do you need help falling asleep?"

"I care about the quality of my sleep. And I sleep better this way."

Fortunately you believe him and don't suspect that it's because it's the closest he can get you to fondling his dick. He has such a difficult time holding in his moans and hard ons, every time your hands go even a bit lower than usual.

Pervert! Barbatos who got into sewing clothes as a hobby and specifically likes making them for you now. But you never understand why he needs to take same measurements over and over again.

"Oh? This is a different kind of design, MC. So the measurements will vary from before."

"Always making new things aren't you? You never fail to suprise Barbatos." You smile at him admiring.

The tightening of the tape around your chest and crotch are subtle. He can hardly keep it together when you praise him after all. But he has to if he wants to skim his hands over your body like this again.

Pervert! Diavolo who takes you on such long drives that you always doze off in the front seat, waking up apologetic for missing so much of the journey.

"Hahaha, it's okay, MC. We've been on this same road lots of times. I assure you, you didn't miss anything. And I like that you feel safe to sleep in my presence."

"But still, I'm so sorry, it feels disrespectful..." You apologize, not even knowing how hard he is in his pants right now.

Afterall, he can keep squeezing your beautiful thighs, maybe let his hands wander between them and imagine himself fucking you in the back seat as much as he wants, when you're asleep.

Pervert! Simeon who will have noone except you as his muse for art classes. And the themes just keep getting more erotic each time.

"Are you sure you're okay with this, MC? You don't have to do it if you're not comfortable-"

"Nonsense, Simeon. I feel super comfortable if it's you. You're a true artist after all." You say as you lay on his bed wrapped up only in bedsheets, exposing your entire back and legs.

If only you knew, this angel has thoughts dirtier than most demons. How he's practically fucking you with his eyes. How he's definitely going to jerk off into those bedsheets, moaning your name.

Pervert! Satan who loves teaching you things - standing right behind you, guiding your hands to make latte-art, or trying a new style of painting.

"That's it, nice and slow. Look how much you've improved, MC." He beams at the cute kitty in the coffee cup.

"All thanks to you, Satan. I can't wait to learn more from you." You smile at him earnestly.

He almost feels guilty for tricking you this way, but the way your hands feel in his, and your ass feels against his groin is so addicting. One of these days, he wishes could teach you to be on all fours and take his length in your pretty little mouth.

Pervert! Asmo who loves keeping your eyes on him and noone else. From elaborate performances to petty staring contests, he cannot have enough of your gaze.

"Oh you're turning red in the face, Asmo. Did I manage to flutter the heart of the Avatar of Lust?" You lean forward smiling.

"You're my only weakness after all, MC. It's your fault for making me this way." He almost moans.

You laugh and mock apologize at his antics but you don't know he's been grinding like an animal on his seat, and creamed his pants under your innocent gaze. Your undivided attention just turns him on so much.

Pervert! Lucifer who makes his desires too obvious sometimes. He'll regret it in the morning and take you to dinner to apologize but not until he's already done something dirty.

"Lucifer, it's 2 am. You need to throw away that coffee and sleep." You're practically dragging him to bed.

"Fine. I'll go sleep if you'll stay in my room tonight." He says knowing you'll comply. You care too much for your own good. He's not even going to let you sleep on the couch, no you have to stay wrapped up in his arms.

You might wake upto him groaning your name in his sleep and you might mistake it for a nightmare - not knowing how he's balls deep inside you in his dreams.

Pervert! Thirteen who likes how excited you get over her newest inventions and keeps making more things to call you over.

"And this little baby and can throw pie at people's faces without ever missing. Guaranteed headshot." She smiles proud.

"This would be so useful in a cafeteria food fight and then get banned right after its glory. But I so wanna use it!" You whine.

She loves how much you appreciate her inventions. She is secretly working on a 'pleasure' device scented like her to give you - she hopes you'll like it just as much.

Pervert! Mephisto who is actually taken aback by your duality. You're such a mischievous little imp usually but turn so well-mannered in front of Diavolo's esteemed guests.

"So even you can be prim and proper sometimes? If only you could maintain this on the daily." He huffs.

You laugh and mock-bow in front of him. "Of course, anything for you my dearest lord. Would you like to dance with this proper human while you can?"

He blushes at the sudden offer. Why you little- how dare you tempt him like this. You can't complain about him gripping you somewhere improper or too tight. You deserve this for your attitude.

Pervert! Raphael who is still navigating new feelings of lust he's never felt before he met you. Why his heart skips every time you fall asleep on his shoulder or why he felt a sudden warmth at the pit of his stomach feeling you breath so softly into his neck.

"Thank you for helping me tidy the classroom, MC. I didn't even know where the cleaning supplies were."

"That's alright. It's more fun with two people anyway and wait Raphael there's a bucket over the-" The fresh bucket of water already spilled splashing all over both of you.

You immediately fetched a towel to help him dry up but he couldn't stop staring at you instead. With the uniform sticking to your body like and the water glistening on your exposed skin - why was he so enthralled? Why does he feel a strange pulsing between his legs as you hover over him?

#obey me #obey me smut #obey me solomon #obey me satan #obey me asmo #obey me lucifer #obey me beel #obey me mammon #obey me simeon #obey me belphie #obey me barbatos #obey me diavolo #obey me leviathan #obey me thirteen #obey me Raphael #obey me mephisto

[devotedlystrangewizard]

"persona 2 remakes would be pretty cool you know i love persona 2 personally but theyre not very accessible both from an accessibility for disabled people pov and from the pov of someone who doesnt want to emulate, not to mention the gameplay has aged immensely and some elements are really questionable a-" [remembering the presence of both queerness & a fat character and the very distinct absence of (& bigotry towards) these groups in persona 5] "you know what nevermind."

#i do mean remake more along the lines of ff7 remake #if they just overhaul the combat & graphics id be fine #but there is a degree of concern???? that they might???? incorporate????? the stuff in p5 that makes me as a queer fat person??? uncomfy?? #p2(is) wasnt perfect but most of its fatphobia is framed as a bad thing instead of just a haha boys being boys moment #(aka why does ryuji keep telling ann to stop eating or shell get fat shut the fuck up i am so tired) #and i know its just me being paranoid & very hesitant about change but hehrjtmhhrm #i dont expect them to remake p1 & p2 mind you. i just think if they did they would fuck it up #at best wed get a shitty port a la p3p & smt3 that make you wonder why ur not just emulating the original #(because it sounds better) #(what the fuck is that audio quality p3p remaster im genuinely asking) #for a minute i also thought about being concerned about eikichi's gnc vibe but then i remembered what the smtv protagonist looks like #could you imagine them adding like. a beach sequence to p1 & p2. could you imagine #p2is as a game could never exist in a post-p5 world not just because of. um. the out of pocket bullshit #but also because of all the smaller stuff. the smaller stuff atlus fails at to make the friend group seem more. friend groupy #because fatshaming ur friend is totally a fun and nice thing to do!! #i do like p5 dont get me wrong im having a blast and the mechanics are fantastic but the uh. sometimes i almost like the friend dynamic #& then ryuji says some out of pocket bullshit about ann and im reminded that this game was not made with me in mind #granted i havent finished p2is so maybe it just goes completely off the rails at some point past where im at but so far? #the lack of continuous fat jokes being played off for laughs is refreshing

[killinfate]

Dating Mike and Vanessa comes by the house but Mike never told her about reader and never told reader about Vanessa. Jealous reader and mine has to reassure her that there’s nothing between him and Vanessa.

AHHH YES!

JEALOUSY.

i’m gonna end up reusing gifs cuz im struggling sm to find high quality mike gifs

MIKE SCHMIDT X READER

— NATURALLY MIKE DIDN’T WANT YOU ANYWHERE NEAR THE PIZZERIA WHEN HE WENT TO SAVE ABBY. HE HADN’T EVEN TOLD YOU ABOUT ALL THAT WAS HAPPENING UNTIL HE GOT BACK WITH ABBY.

At first you didn’t believe him, but he seemed completely sincere. Who were you to doubt him?

“Vanessa’s out of hospital now, I’ve invited her over for dinner.” Mike says casually one night, crawling into bed beside you. He draped his arm lazily over your waist, ready to get some rest as his eyes close.

You opened your eyes and your brows immediately furrowed.

Who the fuck was Vanessa?

“You haven’t mentioned her before.” You mumble, your voice barely audible. Mike opened his eyes and looked over your shoulder slightly to see your face.

“Hm?” He asked, not having had heard you correctly.

“You haven’t mentioned Vanessa before.” You say clearly. There’s a moment of silence.

“Haven’t I?” His voice was tired.

No, you haven’t Mike.

“She saved Abby back at the pizzeria, she’s been in hospital for a while since it and I thought it’d be nice to invite her over.” Mike says and you grow silent.

“I just thought you’d be okay with it.” He replies simply. Despite your apparent confusion you look up. You were okay with it.

“I’m okay with it.” You reply and Mike smiles, kissing your forehead and holding you closer. However you did stay up a while that night, thinking upon what he’d said.

The next evening you finally meet Vanessa. She’s so beautiful that it’s threatening. Mike greets her warmly and you begin to realise you’re taking note of every gesture and word he says yet you don’t stop yourself. It’s bad; you’re aware.

You, Abby, Mike and Vanessa begin to eat dinner, discussing typical topics about how life was treating them.

At some point, you slowly began to hold Mike’s hand, your thumb tracing over t o back of his hand. Mike looks over to you, giving you a confused glance as his eyes flicker between your hands intertwined and you. You’d never done that before at dinner. This was new.

Vanessa was friendly, she was nice. Yet you were still defensive. You’d tried to follow the same attitude but whenever you laughed or smiled it all seemed…fake, not genuine.

She caught on, and there would usually be an awkward silence to follow any conversation you had with her.

When the evening was over you’d began to get ready for bed. You were in the bathroom, washing your face when you looked up in the mirror and saw Mike walking to the bathroom.

He got in and shut the door, leaning against it so Abby couldn’t listen in. Mike didn’t look particularly happy. “What was that?” He asked his eyes searching yours. You looked to him and laughed a little.

“What was what?” You asked, your voice holding confusion but you knew exactly what he was talking about.

“Why were you being like that at dinner?” Mike questioned. He had no clue what could’ve brought on your behaviour yet.

“Nothing was wrong with me at dinner.” You assured him. He scoffed a little, looking away for a moment.

“Vanessa saved mine and Abby’s life. The least you can do is be friendly.” Mike told you.

“I was being friendly, I was talking and I was—“ he cut you off.

“Don’t bullshit me I saw that, you never grab my hand like that at dinner, ever.” Mike told you, his voice holding a hint of anger at your obliviousness.

You noticed his change in tone and your face dropped a little, your facade falling. Mike’s eyes softened at your face and he sighed.

“Look c’mere. I’m sorry. ” He told you, pulling you into his arms. You wrapped your arms around him and closed your eyes, feeling his hand caressing the back of your head comfortingly.

It took him a moment to put the pieces together. The fake laughing, smiling, holding his hand, how you looked at Vanessa.

Mike kissed the top of your head before moving away slightly so he could see your face. “Were you jealous?” Mike says with a smile, his voice holding a teasing tone.

“I— no I wasn’t. I wasn’t.” You were quick to deny; you completely were.

“Oh okay, okay.” He said, his voice suggesting he didn’t believe you at all.

You run a hand over your face. “I wasn’t that’s..stupid I’m not like that.” You told him quickly but he could see right through you no, his hand moving to caress your cheeks.

“You were, I saw you. You were.” He told you, laughing slightly. You weren’t though and remained doubtful.

He was quick to notice this and pressed his lips to your forehead. “Hey, she’s a friend. That’s it. I promise.” Mike assures you, his thumbs gently stroking your cheeks.

“Yeah?” You said quietly, looking up. “Yeah I promise.” Mike replies, pressing an affectionate kiss to your lips. You relaxed immediately from your tense state and kissed back before Mike pulled away, a smile on his face. “I love you.”

“I’ve never seen you like that before it was weird.” He says with a laugh and you roll your eyes.

“I was hardly jealous alright.” You mumbled, making Mike move so you could leave the bathroom. He stepped aside, a laugh still leaving his lips as you opened the door and walked out.

“Alright, tell yourself that.” You hear him say as you walked down the hallway.

#mike schmidt imagine #five nights at freddy’s movie #fnaf movie #mike schmidt #mike schmidt x reader #80s

[dumplingsjinson]

List of random dialogue prompts 

“I was never a morning person, but then I started waking up to your face and you know… Maybe mornings aren’t that bad, after all.” 

“Why are you mad?” “I’m not mad, I just think you can choose better people to kiss.” 

“I fucking hate you.” “No you don’t. Take that back right now.” 

“You know I’d do anything to have you stay by my side, right? Anything.”  

“Oh, fuck. Do that again.” 

“You look stupid as all hell right now.”

“I want to believe you, but I don’t know if I can.” 

“You’ve given me so many reasons to walk away.” “Then why don’t you walk away? It’s not like I’m keeping you hostage here.” “You still don’t get it, do you? It’s because I love you.” 

“…Damn it all to hell, if I don’t get to have you tonight then I’m never going to be able to have you.” 

“Let me call you mine, just for tonight.”

“I think you and I make an amazingly stupid pair.” “I know! Our two brain cells combined together make for quality entertainment and a unique kind of stupidity.” 

“I’m going to have so much fun with you.”

“Oh God, yes, right there— oh my God, just like that, please don’t stop.” “…Can you stop that? You’re making it sound like we’re in a porno and now I’m highly uncomfortable.” 

“Bet you they don’t make you sound like that, do they?” 

“Fuck, you’re such a wreck, and because of me, too.” 

“Can you stop moaning? I’m trying to help you relax but you’re making it hard for me to concentrate.” “Sorry, your hands just work a little too good.” “I’m going to pay for a masseuse next time if you keep doing this.” 

“You are driving me insane and I’m this close to losing my shit because of you.”

“Is hating me your only personality trait?”

“Never scare me like that again!” 

“Oh, don’t worry. I have every plan to make you submit to me.”

“I’m not even gonna lie, I’m just so fucking obsessed with you.” 

“That could be us.” “That is us.”

“Was it worth it?”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got you— slow down, you’ll get what you want soon enough.”

“I want you to remember every single second of this.” 

“Bet you they can’t make you feel the way I do.” “Bet’s on.” “Wait, what? That was not my intention—”

“Hm, but I think I like having you spread out like this. Such a gorgeous sight.” 

“Come and get your fix.”

“…You’re an addiction I never want to quit.” 

“I had nothing to live for, but then you came into my life. So thank you.” 

“Why’d you— why’d you do that?” “B-Because I promised you I’d do anything to keep you safe.” 

“I swear if we get caught then I’m actually going to kill you.” 

“You think I wanted this to happen?!”

“Just when I was about to give up…”

“I trusted you with my life.” “Well, I’m sorry but you’re clearly very gullible.”

“Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t feel the same as I do, then I’ll leave you alone.” 

“You know, maybe you should bet on something else the next time instead of betting on someone’s fucking feelings.” 

“You’re such a dork.” “Yeah, no wonder you’re so in love with me.”

“Does me doing all these things not account for anything?” “I never asked you to do those things for me, though, did I?”

“You nearly foiled our plan, you idiot!”

“I… I think I’m happy.” “You think? So you’re not one hundred percent certain?”

“Who’s laughing now?” “…Clearly not you. You’re crying, dear God.” 

“I’m tired of being on the sidelines.” 

“You actually came back.”

“Christ on a fucking bike, I could kiss you right now.”

“That was a bold move.”

“We’re going to be late, all because you couldn’t stop scrolling through that damn phone of yours while taking your damn sweet time to shit!” 

“Kinda sucks that I can only have you like this.” 

“I fell in love, so hard, and so fast, but a part of me knew it wasn’t going to last.” 

“Your heart’s always on your sleeve.” “Only around you, because you’re the only one who knows me so well. Too well, in fact.”  

(pt. 2) | (pt. 3)

#long post #dialogue prompts #random dialogue prompts #otp prompts #fluff prompts #angst prompts #smut prompts #prompts #romantic prompts #romance prompts #47 is PERSONAL HAHA (it’s me lmfao I’m the shitter 🫡🫡) #suggestive prompts #writing prompts #i had this list in the drafts for sooooo long lmfao

[narutomaki]

all my creative shit sucks so bad

#i hate it i haye iy i hate it #why did one fucking video make me spiral so much #between that and the create bcus u want to not for a single grain of positive feedback or engagement discoirse #why do i even bother to want to make art or create #i will never satisfy myself i will never satisfy others #just fuckijg why do i bother. #no one likes it. #i could post every day multiple times a day for a decade with my highest quality stuff and people would just fucking #laugh me off the platform #i want to know people like ehat i made because is validating!!! why is that a bad thing!!!!! i dont get LIKES even so like WHY do i even #fucking bother to fucking care #I AM IN A BAD SPACE THIS IS AIMED AT MYSELF.

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

.

#tomorrow i have a psychiatrist appointment #I'm meeting with a telehealth psychiatrist from one of those online psych providers #I've done research and it looks nice and quality #the last couple days I've been taking Adderall that my coworker gave me #i know it's bad for many reasons but I'm not looking for a lecture here #but i realized that it makes a huge difference in my life #at my job i could concentrate better. i wasn't as scatterbrained and forgetful #i didn't feel as overwhelmed and it made my work day a lot happier #I'm hoping to get my own adhd meds but I'm not getting my hopes up #i don't like medical professionals at all. no offense to any medical professionals that may be reading this #I've had way too many bad experiences including with my last psychiatrist #after a long struggle with her i decided i would never go back #fuck her #because of this i don't necessarily trust the psychiatrist I'm going to see tomorrow and I'm not counting on getting meds #on the website it tells you some of the things that'll probably be gone over in the initial visit so you can prep which is lovely #and I'm trying to think on that and write it down. but it's not easy #i don't do well with medical stuff! 'why did you come in? what was the last straw that made you seek help?' #i know these answers. kind of. but this will require being vulnerable with someone. and it's not guaranteed to get me anything #can you imagine spilling your soul to someone and they just say 'yeah sorry i don't think this is a good fit :( #if this appointment doesn't go well i swear I'm never going to any doctor ever again. ever #y'all don't understand how much it takes. how bad things have to get. for me to see a doctor #if this doesn't work out then i don't know what I'm going to do #sharing my coworker's meds isn't sustainable but i can't go back after I've seen how well i can function when my brain works properly #here's hoping and praying i get some help

[theehoneeybee]

"Make Me."

Mike Schmidt x fem!reader

summary: you hate your coworker. he's rude, cocky and doesn't do his job. but, god, is he hot.

warnings: 18+ content, minors dni, afab reader, swearing, pet names, finger sucking, slight choking, oral f!receiving, size kink if you squint, creampie, unprotected sex (wrap it b4 you tap it guys)

authors note: Mike is kind of an asshole in this but it's okay we love him anyway, he's just misunderstood. they're just both having a bad time and taking it out on each other. I want him.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

You wandered though the empty pizzeria, flashlight in hand. The air was heavy on your shoulders, decades of dust made your nose itch. You preferred patrolling Freddy's to sitting in the security office. There was one main reason for that.

Mike.

Your coworker Mike made your blood boil. He possessed this indescribable quality that made him insufferable to be around. It seemed every conversation you engaged in ended in an argument. Mike would barely talk to you or acknowledge you, preferring to keep his headphones secured to his head. He wasn't the best at his job either. Not long ago he had forgotten to properly lock the pizzeria, leading to a group of intruders trashing the place. This job was difficult enough as it was without having someone else there to make it even worse. What made you even angrier was how hot he was. His curly brown hair, strong arms and broad shoulder made you drool. You wouldn't admit it but your mind tended to wander if you looked at him too much.

You were plunged into sudden darkness as the power shut off. Sometimes it would go black for a moment but then the colourful neon lights would flicker back on. You stopped in your tracks, waiting for a minute. After no sign of the power coming back, you clicked on your flashlight and stormed over the the security office.

Maybe Mike was asleep and didn't notice the power going off. It wouldn't be the first time. But no, he was slouched over in the office chair, holding his flashlight up the illuminate the book he was reading with headphones adorning his head. Your night had been shitty enough already and Mike's shenanigans were only making it worse.

You shook your head in annoyance, flipping the switch to the main breaker and re-illuminating the pizzeria. Surprised by the sudden light, Mike looked around the room, giving you a small nod before returning back to his book. You stared at him in disbelief.

You pulled off his headphones, chucking them into his lap. "Are you serious right now? Did you just not fucking notice the power go off?" you questioned angrily. "Or do you just not care?"

"Get off my back. I'm having a bad night." Mike went to put his headphones back on but you grabbed his wrist.

"So am I. You sit two meters away from the breaker. You really couldn't have turned it on?" You let go of his wrist and rubbing your temples in annoyance.

Mike huffed and stood up, discarded the book and headphones on the chair. "The power was off for five seconds. It's not that big of a deal."

"I don't care. It's your job." Mike rolled his eyes and you frowned, leaning against the desk. "Asshole," you whispered under your breath.

Mike turned to face you, clearly upset by your remark. He stood inches away from you and pinned his hands either side of you on the desk. "What did you call me?" You shrugged innocently. "Say it again."

Being this close, you could smell his aftershave. Mikes hazel eyes staring into your own. Your heart pounded in your chest, cheeks burning under his intense gaze. Mike moved one of his hands up to your face, his thumb trailing teasingly across your lips, gently parting them. "Why don't you put those pretty lips to use and say it again."

You squeezed your thighs together. To say that took you by surprise would be an understatement. You stared up at Mike with half-lidded eyes. Teasingly, you closed your lips around his thumb, holding onto his wrist as you gently licked it. You saw his restraint beginning to crack. You took his finger out of your mouth, still holding onto his wrist.

You smiled innocently. "Make me."

In a split second his lips were on yours. They were soft and warm, moving against yours with an intensity you had never experienced before. Your hand moved from his wrist to the back of his neck, fingers weaving into the soft curls as you pulled him closer. Mike gently bit your bottom lip and you moaned into his mouth.

He grabbed your hips, hoisting you up onto the desk with ease and spreading your legs to slot himself in between them. Mike kissed along your jawline, trailing down to your neck as his hands reached under your hoodie.

"Don't think I don't see the way you look at me, sweetheart," Mike whispered into your ear, sending shivers down your spine as you let out a quiet whimper. His hands ventured beneath your bra to massage your tits. You bucked your hips forward, grinding against his cock confined by his jeans. You can feel Mike's lips smirk against your neck. "You want me so bad, don't you baby?"

You nodded pathetically, holding onto his strong shoulders and whining when his lips disconnected from your neck. Mike's hands moved from your chest to unbutton your pants, almost ripping them as he pulled them off, along with your soaked panties, in one clean move.

He knelt down in front of you, two fingers gently coming up to rub your clit. A fire burned in your stomach as his fingers moved slowly, Mike kissing along your inner thighs. Your hand came to rest on his head, holding onto his curls, resisting the urge to shove his face between your legs.

"Look how wet you are for me, sweetheart."

His mouth finally connected with your soaked cunt, tongue darting out to slide between your folds. Your breath shuddered and your hips bucked forward into his mouth. Mike groaned into your pussy, his fingers digging into your thighs, sure to leave finger prints as he ate you out like a starved man.

Your juices dripped down his chin. He sucked on you clit, earning a guttural moan from you. You felt him let out a moan of his own against your cunt. You could feel a knot building up in your stomach, your thighs quivering as he brought you close to orgasm.

Mike pulled away, giving your clit a soft kiss before wiping is face clean with the back of his hand. He stood back up and roughly kissed you and you could taste yourself against his lips.

As your lips collided, your hands reached down to desperately unbuckle his belt, tugging his jeans and boxers down. You stroked his cock, already leaking precum. Mike groaned, thrusting up slightly into your soft hands.

He pulled away from the kiss, watching as you moved the tip of his cock to rub between your sopping folds. Mike's breath was shaky and his hands gripped your hips desperately.

"Want me to put it in, Mikey?" you teased with an innocent smile.

Mike's hand travels up to your throat, squeezing it slightly. "Don't think you're the one in charge here baby girl."

You bit your lip, guiding Mike as he began to slide his cock into you. Your breath hitched at the stretch and Mike's face contorted with pleasure.

He began to fuck you, the monitors on the desk shaking with each thrust. Your head rested against Mike's shoulder, holding onto him for dear life. His cock fit perfectly inside you, hitting the spot that made you see starts. Mike reached his hand between your legs and rubbed your clit.

"Mike!" you cried out. "S'good!"

"You look so pretty fucked dumb by me," Mike puffed out. "You like being stretched out by my big cock, don't ya honey?"

His words made you legs shake, getting closer to climax as his thrusts got rougher, increasing in pace. Mike felt your cunt tighten around him, squeezing him deliciously. He let out little grunts with each thrust, his movements sloppy as he got close to cumming.

The rubbing of your clit sent you over the edge, your back arcing and legs shaking as you came. You cried out Mike's name, head lolling back, overwhelmed with pleasure.

You could see Mike was about to cum and you could feel him throbbing inside you. You leant forward slightly, whispering into his ear, "come inside me, Mikey."

And just like that, he did. He held your hips with bruising force, cumming deep inside you as he whimpered out your name. Mike stayed inside you, panting, sweat dripping from his forehead.

"We should do this more often baby," Mike said with a satisfied smirk.

#fnaf movie #fnaf x reader #fnaf #five nights at freddy's #mike schmidt x reader #mike schmidt #mike schmidt imagine #mike schmidt smut #mike schmidt x you #mike schmidt fnaf #josh hutcherson x reader #josh hutcherson #fnaf 2023

[mysicklove]

𝐁𝐀𝐃 𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆

DAY 3: ORAL FIXATION + FACE FUCKING

With: Rin Itoshi

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: Sub! Rin, reader is fem coded, gagging, lots of drool and saliva, unrealistic potrayal of oral fixations, cringey dialogue in beginning, tears, reader spits in his mouth, cumming in pants, biting

A/N: this is gross. also, i have a oral fixation and i know this is not how it works, but whatever this is fanFICTION let me live lol

Rin Itoshi has a bad mouth. Sure, his vocabulary is not too full of curse words, but by god he insults people way too much. Whats crazy about it, is he actually believes what he says, and often times you have to cover his mouth before he accidentally picks a fight with someone. He is cool and collected 90% of the time, and because of his aloof attitude, it drives people insane when they hear his rude, blunt words.

You are working on it with him, or at least trying to. Whenever he is rude to someone, you quickly scramble to apologize and reassure that he meant nothing harmful. By the end of it, he always gives you the strangest stares, wondering why you care enough to explain himself to the other person. But you were kind, and he…had other good qualities about him.

He discovered something new about himself during this time as well. You were sitting on his lap, talking to some guests at the two of yours apartment, when one of the guys teased Rin’s cold personality just a tad. Before your lovely boyfriend could bark back a probably way too passive aggressive reply, you covered his mouth with your hand, accidentally slipping one of your fingers into his mouth.

He stared at you in silence while the others gently laughed, and moved away from the conversation. He teasingly licked at the digit, and your smile widened to hide back a shiver, pretending nothing is amiss to the others.  You pulled your hand away a couple seconds later, and he unconsciously followed it, blinking at you when you stared at him in confusion.

And ever since that day, Rin found himself feeling…strange. It didn't affect his day to day life, but he realized that having stuff in his mouth, made him feel strangely calm. After a quick google search, he realized he must have an oral fixation that he has not discovered until now.

He took to lollipops for a week, justifying himself to you by blaming it on his sweetooth (that he doesn't have). Once you teased him about ruining his teeth from all the sugar, and he stopped. He bit his nails for two days, and even if it did help him focus on the task at hand, it made him feel unsanitary and gross. He considered trying smoking, but his career depended on his lungs, so he threw that thought away. 

Toothpicks and gum are his savior currently. With either of the two in his mouth, he finds himself less uptight, and it calmed his day to day nerves. It made him feel better all and all, and it didn't hurt him, so he was fine with his fixation.

But, ever since that day where he felt your finger in his mouth, he has been daydreaming about it. Two, or three of your digits would make his mouth completely occupied, and with them, he probably wouldn't be lost in his thoughts. It was just a passing thought in the beginning, thinking that maybe he nonchalantly ask you to put your (clean, he would specify) fingers into his mouth, but recently, the thoughts have gotten more lewd. 

What would it be like to have your fingers forcefully roam his mouth while he blinks back tears from the roughness? What would it be like for you to gag him when you reach too far in his throat? Would you laugh at the noise, or would you coo at him? What would it be like for you to spit in his mouth? After that thought, he decided to never talk to you about it. He had a pride to withhold.

But you quickly noticed your boyfriends new found stress reducer. He didn't necessarily hide it, but when you ask about it, he always deflects the conversation and then gets cranky when you don't let it go. You know Rin’s ridiculous behavior by heart now, so you know he is hiding something.

So, on the one day off he has from practice, you decided to confront him on whatever the hell was going on. With gifts.

“What the fuck is this?”

You cringe, and let out a breath. You definitely shouldn't have bought that. “Uh…A pacifier?”

Rin raises his eyebrows, peering into the plastic bag with a frown on his face. “Why did you bring home a bunch of gum, butterscotch, toothpicks, are these cigarettes? Really? And a pacifier.”

You probably should have just stuck with the gum. Even the toothpicks would be pushing it. “Suprise..?” You meekishly let out, afraid of the outcome.

“This is for me?” Rin questions, setting the bag down with a sigh, and turning to you with a blank stare.

“Well one of us has an oral fixation, and its not me,” You say, watching the way your boyfriend immediately flushes red, and looks away. 

He pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. “And where did you get that idea?”

You lean in closer to him, grabbing the bag with a huff. “From the weeks of you constantly having something in your mouth. After the fourth time of you pulling away from me, mid makeout session to spit out your gum, I figured something was up. And the internet is free you know.”

He peers at you, and doesn't say anything. You were right of course, but he was too embarrassed to admit it. Nor the idea of where this innocent fidgeting thing led to. “So you bought me cigarettes and a pacifier?” He accuses, tone harsher than before. It was unexpected how angry he got over something like this.

“I'm just trying to help you. What do you want me to do, stick my fingers in your mouth or something? Fuck, you dont got to be an asshole about it,” You quip back, growing annoyed at his behavior. He was being a brat for no reason, and although you did give him stupid gifts, he didn't have to be rude about it.

He glares at you, taking a step forward toward you. “Yeah? Maybe you should. Stick your fingers in my mouth, like the disgusting pervert you are.”

You bark a laugh at him. “Of course you make this sexual! Maybe I should, shows how desperate you are for a little attention,” You hiss, grabbing at his shirt and pulling you closer to you. You forcefully open his mouth and shove two of your fingers in. He gags, glaring up at  you from under has lashes from the mere forcefulness. 

You press the pads of your fingers to the roof of his mouth, his head tilting upward from the pressure. “Does this fucking help? Maybe I should just do this for….” You trail off, the bite in you dying down when you feel his tongue graze your finger. You begin to pull away, but he grabs onto your wrist, forcing it inside. “You really…Wow, okay,” You mumble, staring at your boyfriends now half lidded eyes.

He glances up at you, cheeks slightly flushed from embarrassment, but he would never admit that to you. Instead, he just mumbles, “Shut up.” which comes out a little garbled, making the complaint just sound cute.

You lead him to the couch, and motion for him to kneel on the carpet below. He glares at you, nipping gently on the tips of your fingers at the idea. “What? Obviously you are enjoying this way too much. So if you want my fingers in your mouth, then you can sit on the floor. You are too tall, I'll grow tired from reaching up,” You reason, fighting back the urge to roll your eyes as he continues to gnaw on your fingers in complaint.

He thinks about it for a second, and finally decides that you are right, so he takes his spot in between your legs, still holding onto your wrist like he is afraid that you are going to pull your fingers away. You pet his head, and finally relax your hand, your fingers falling limp on his tongue.

It doesnt take him long to start gently suckling on them, his tongue gently roaming around the two digits. You watch with amusement as his eyes grow heavy, and the thoughts seem to leave his brain. He looked so content like this, it was fascinating. The usual frown on his face gone, and drool beginning to bead at the corner of his lips.

“Mwove ‘em,” he demands not after long, and you bite back a laugh, knowing that his personality hasnt done a complete shift. But you abide to the command, and drag your fingers over his teeth, pressing them against the wall of his cheek, admiring how cute he looks when his lips are forcefully dragged to the side.

He takes notice to this and bites you again in warning, and this time you do laugh. “So temperamental, Rin. Thought you wanted me to move them around?”

“Dont make fwun of me.”

You hum, and use your hand to brush away his bangs. Then, you continue your exploration in his mouth, accidentally jabbing your fingers too far back, making him gag. You wince, apologizing immediately, but he doesn't say anything, gripping onto your wrists and pulling them deeper into his mouth. “Fuck Rin…This is....Kinda hot,” You murmur, cupping his cheek with one hand and plunging your other fingers deep into his mouth just to watch him gag again.

At your words his blue eyes flicker downward to his pants, and you follow them to see his hard on pressed against the fabric. You let out a breathless laugh, and put your finger to the top of his mouth again, forcing him to look up at you. His eyes are watery from the gagging, but other than that, he looks completely blissful, staring at you with hearts in his eyes. “Aw, this isn't bout your little oral fixation anymore, is it?" You taunt, narrowing your eyes at him. "You just wanna be face fucked, yeah Rin? Want me to abuse your pretty mouth until your throat is all bruised up and you are drooling all over the place?”

He gags again when your fingers travel back deeper in his mouth, but he doesn't say anything. He looks at you again, flushed in the face, and nods once, looking away immediately after. You play with his bottom lip, and grin at him. “God you're so pretty,” You praise, and he gulps, cock twitching in his pants.

Your fingers seem to travel every inch of his mouth, and his tongue follows them around, licking at them, even when you scold him to relax. Then, you begin to move your fingers in and out, and he gags with each thrust, tears dripping down his face as he forces his eyes shut. You listen to the gross sound of his throat being abused, and stare at him, completely fascinated about how hard he is right now. How something as strange as this could turn him on so much.

Suddenly, you grab his tongue and pull it out of his mouth. He winces at the harshness, and stares at you, slightly afraid of what's to come next. He feels vulnerable in this position, which he rarely feels, so he begins to squirm unconsciously. You lean forward, curling yourself over your legs and just above his face, the shadow of your frame darkening his face. “Hey Rin?” You whisper darkly, running your thumb over his tongue teasingly.

“Hmm?” He tries to hum, fists clutching onto your pants. He feels his tongue begin to dry up, and the force of your hold is uncomfortable, but he can't help but be extremely turned on. It was better than he imagined.

“Can I spit in your mouth?”

His eyes widen slightly, and his dick twitches in his pants. He takes a deep breath through his nose, and then tilts his head back, trying to open his mouth wider, but failing considering your hold on his tongue.

You grin at the action and lean forward just above his mouth, letting a glob of saliva fall from your mouth and into his. You release his tongue, and he immediately swallows, shivering at the feeling and the act of this really happening, all the while you coo at him. A couple seconds go by and he opens his mouth again, and you smile, seeing his tongue bare.

He trembles, repeating the scene in his head. Tears drip down his cheek, and drool coats his bottom lip, but he doesnt take notice to it, because all he can think about is how wet he is now.

“Oh Rin, did you soil your pants?” You laugh, and he grinds his teeth together, rushing to cover himself with his hands.

You grab his arms, forcefully pulling them to the side to see the noticeably dark spot directly above his crotch. Sure enough, Rin came from you spitting in his mouth. You feel blood rush to your groin, and you blink at him. “Oh god Rin, you fucking pervert.”

But before he could deny anything, you shove two fingers back into his mouth, and almost instinctually he begins to melt, already forgetting about the warm sticky feeling in his pants.

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#mello.writes #Barkforme! #Kinktober 2023 #dom! reader #dom reader #gn reader #x reader #reader insert #rin itoshi smut #rin smut #itoshi smut #rin itoshi x reader #rin itoshi x reader smut #sub itoshi #sub rin itoshi #sub! rin itoshi #sub! bllk #sub bllk #bllk x reader #bllk x reader smut #bllk smut