#why did they hurt me at first

[taikk0]

the unspoken broflovski family curse

#added the doodle late oops #taikko art #dont ask me what happened to my old sketchy painted ish style when i first started making sp art #did you know?? that i enjoy?? not? hurting??????????? #its south park let me take it easy ugh finally i can draw in a style thats easy rottmnt artstyle kicked my ass #'why is kyles son wearing a different outfit?' i headcanon that kyles daughter is actually wearing hand me downs from him!! #i desperately need confirmed names omfg #I LOVE CHARACTERS WITH BARELY ANY CHARACTER TO THEM!! IT MEANS I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT!! #me when i get to slap personalities and headcanons on characters that were on screen for less than a minute <3 #i need to read peoples headcanons on them please im so uncreative and i need to eat i am NOT self sustaining #south park #south park art #south park fanart #sp fanart #sp art #sp fandom #south park fandom #south park post covid #sp post covid #post covid #kyle #kyle broflovski #sp kyle #south park kyle #pc kyle #post covid kyle

[kittyandco]

does anyone else get so upset when you think about all the things that happened to your f/o... all the things they went through? all the things they haven't healed from? the pain that they may still be enduring? how you can do your best to help them but you can't protect them from everything. so you just love them the ways they needed before, how they deserved. and you see them happy because they finally accept, at least in some ways, that they do deserve it. they deserve love like all beings do

#i get so upset when i think about it for too long; i'm there for them now but there was nothing i could do; wanna go back and protect them #i'm like this with everyone i care about (real and fictional) and sometimes it's hard #it's about hans this time. i just can't believe all the things that happened to him #no wonder he's terrible! no one cared about him! why should he care! all he knows is pain and neglect! except from me! #i know why he sees everyone else as worthless because that's exactly how everyone he knew saw him first; he was supposed to be loved #they all used him up til he was nothing and that's all he knows #i can't even read certain parts of a frozen heart again because i just cried so much the first time... he didn't deserve that #no one does #and then the comics detailing it all even FURTHER #he was like any other innocent kid and seeing that progression hurt so much. i could get into the details but ugh #hux's age of resistance comic did the same thing. i can't even look at the first 2 pages; it's too much. i just want to hold him #anyway... i'm fine :') i've made a post like this before but i'm feeling it so hard right now #self ship

[lunarharp]

What led to this (orufrey comic, cw an uncomfortable/creepy scene)

#witch hat tag #orufrey #er.... i'm too tired to have anything to say..i worked several days on this. #wait.. didn't i say just recently here that i probably wouldn't ever depict 'what if alaira is qifrey's sort-of ex'. What's going on #i don't even remember deciding to draw this..it's all a blur..i'm not sure why i WOULD decide to draw delicate scenes in my head #that i wouldn't really want to share with anyone/discuss so why did i draw it... #some part of me really really wants to draw things that are more and more true to myself... #maybe because of my alienation with most romance/shipping/dynamics the rest of the world depicts. #orufrey really is perfectly suited to me - what i read in the text and what is in my head. well anyway #i am TIRED of drawing poses and angles and..maybe now i will actually take a break from drawing bc of the tediousness of Angles #btw it really is a 'stretch of time' . . . assuming witches graduate age 18-20 #well orufrey are canonically 30-ish. they've only had agott around for presumably about TWO years (?) bc she took the test age 10 #and it feels like oru moving in/unknown atelier acquisition/building (?) .. i guess that could be a year or so before agott at most #(she was the first disciple) so... ????????? What about the other 7 or so years ?!?!?!!?!?! Unemployed Brimhat Hatred era #that time is very nebulous. after qifrey went to the tower i feel like it's been implied he and oru drifted apart a little. #certainly they didn't live together at first... no way. that doesn't feel like how it is based on things oru has said about becoming Eye #idk. I'm tired now. i don't usually think of alaira as necessarily qifrey's ex and this being how things went in that 'sliver of time'. #i usually prefer the idea that they have their first kiss with each other in their 30s cause That's Just The Orufrey Lifestyle #just felt like making a more relatable alternative view of my own Cai Orufrey Canon one time. btw im a big monoshipper and it hurt a bit #let's leave it there. this is surely the most i've worked on a 'single' art - though now i realise just how much longer the fic took :')

[keferon]

I jUST LEARNED

Megatron and Orion Pax meeting for the first time:

And then. When Future Megs talking to Past Orion in mtmte#36

#I #help #I didn’t understand this moment when I was reading mtmte I DIDNT HAVE THE CONTEXT #The fact that….that Megatron did so much terrible things #and hurted and murdered so many people #and tried to kill Optimus for millions of years #but when he’s talking to this past Orion #the first thing Orion pulling is #ah Megatron with an R #his first initial reaction is to joke about that one time he mispronounced Megatron’s name #because this Pax #This past version of him doesn’t remember Megatron as a tyrant. He remembers him as a guy whose name isnt Megaton oops sorry this is awkward #he’s Megatron with R my bad #it’s such a innocent little detail #Everyone around Megatron constantly reminding him about all his crimes and seeing him though ‘he is scary’ and ‘he is evil’ lenses #But this👆 #This is a reminder #Megatron wasn’t always a terrible person #He was ‘Megatron with an R’ once #I don’t know why this detail hit me so hard. I must be running out of symbols ahahah #maccadam #mtmte #tapa if you’re happen to read this #this moment is from issue 22 in a general map I gave you:)

[puppyeared]

i wrote this as a joke because I wanted to strangle a guy watching tiktoks without headphones on the bus, but im genuinely disturbed that we've gotten to a point where convenience comes first. and it depresses me even more that its used to justify and monetize greed

#like we have so many ways of doing things that could help us in the long run but because we're told it requires more work we just cant #its too resource intensive. or maybe its too much to maintain. we have to overlook benefits so money can go into more important things #we teach each other to do things a certain way so it works for everyone but who was it convenient for first? what abt who it might hurt? #i have to wonder if the rules our current system uses is worth listening to or following if it doesnt have our best interests in mind. u an #me and the ppl around us.. would we be better off if i ate my meals knowing the person who grew it wanted to feed others the way they could #feed themselves? and that isnt to say we're going to be happy doing it but i guess satisfied that its helping someone instead of quietly #accepting that itll eventually go in the dumpster behind a grocery store because it stopped looking appetizing or it wasnt on sale anymore #what about building homes so we can shelter each other? what if we were satisfied with what we did because we knew it would be paid back #with kindness? isnt that what we evolved to do?? heal each others bones and tell stories and help each other?? #why dont houses come with solar panels or generators unless we find a way to make people pay to use the sun? why is our pooled money used #to fund genocides instead of education and hospitals? whose interests and convenience came first when we started this?? #i wont pretend to know the answer because i dont. but we all know we're miserable and im sorry to say that i cant see myself fighting #for a world that wont fight for me too. why do we work if we cant live from it?? why did they stop us from plucking more teeth from our #bosses until they could build more walls around themselves and then go back to underpaying us?? #im so tired. i cant even imagine making it to age 70 #yapping #vent

[welcometogrouchland]

[ID: An animatic of Stephanie Brown as Robin set to Tears over Beers by modern baseball. The images are paired with the lyrics. Stephanie as spoiler staring longingly at Bruce, Tim and Cass on a rooftop is paired with "he needed more than me". A compilation of sketches of Steph as robin go with "im friendly and thoughtful and quite awfully pretty". Finally a redraw of Steph's firing as Robin is paired with "but he needed more than me". End ID]

been trying to finish a comic for. Weeks now (just been hitting a lot blocks) and quickly threw this together as a break from it! Do you guys ever think about Stephanie Brown…

#dc comics #stephanie brown #robin #batfamily #read the first issue of her run in the main robin book recently after mostly knowing it via her appearance as robin in the batgirl title #and via snippets of other issues #oughhh bill willingham when i fucking catch you #SHE WAS SO EAGER. THEY LEAVE IT UP TO THR AUDIENCE AS TO WHY BUT SHE WAS SO EAGER #ROBIN WAS JUST HER CONSOLATION PRIZE AND EVEN THEN IT WAS TAINTED BY BRUCES MISTRUST #WHICH ULTIMATELY LED TO HER DEATH #AUGH. THROWING UP EVERYWHERE #^ willingham gets not credit for that as far as im concerned they did not give a rats ass about steph in her robin arc #christ…it makes me wanna read early era timsteph or bg!era steph to just #heal for a minute. I mean those eras are complex in and of themselves w their own pros and cons (i mean i like both tho) #But they dont hurt as much as her robin era knowing whats to come… #sidenote i often see ppl praise the way stephs temper is portrayed in her robin era and while its nice to see her anger factor in #considering its like. A less consistent character trait in the modern era? Its there tho in bits and drabs #im just very cynical of it in her robin era knowing that they’re (partially) using it to set up why shes a doomed robin. Complex feelings #mine

[moiraineswife]

Lan and Moiraine: "Door"

1x06 / 2x01 / 2x01

#wheel of time spoilers #wheel of time #moiraine damodred #moiraine sedai #lan mandragoran #molan #the SADNESS #the ANGST #the P A I N #why yes of course i did decide to do my first character study of the decline of moiraine and lan's bond via that AGE OLD TROPE #the door #really tho. she's very particular abt her door. even bayle closes it for her after she just screwed him over #and got him hunted/followed by fades/possibly dead. man knows what he's about. #lan deliberately leaving it wide open feels very...well deliberate #are they being passive aggressive children about this whole thing in many ways? #yes. yes they are. is that HURTING ME TO ME VERY CORE!? #yes. yes it is. #the difference tho between them both going to a meeting together - Mo glancing at the door #and knowing; instinctively; that Lan will close it for her. which he does. before they BOTH take this meeting #vs her having to give him that order “door” in a deliberately cold and dismissive way #and him closing said door but now on the wrong side of it #vs him finally just having enough and telling her to go fuck herself (politely) #and just leaving it wide open while she stares out after him - oddly exposed #well that did done just GOT TO ME OKAY!? #anyway. i hope u understand this gifset. and i hope it causes u the pain it caused me #thank u and have a good night #molan gifset #wot s2 #wot spoilers #wot show spoilers

[opikiquu]

.Aventurine. Aventurine. Boy wh y

#★ arin rambles #★ my art #my best friend finished aventurines boss in 1 try #(i was stuck so i never knew what happened after) #wish she never did #im filled with so much sorrow #THE NOTE. THE NOTE THE NOTE THE NOTE #HE. CARES HE CARES SO M #IM DOOMED #IM TOO LITTLE FOR ALL THIS SADNESS #SO MUCH . TEARS . TOO MANY SAD. WHY. WHYYY MEEEE #The note……… Im never ever gonna drop this ever #Aventurine’s story will haunt me forever #(affectionately) #so good….. but like in a painful way. Like ive been crying for 3 days now #today was the worst offense. MY HEAD HURTS STILL #SAVE ME FROM THIS NIGHTMARE CALLED escape penacony obby! #ill stop rambling now . I need . Rest. Or a ratiorine overdose whichever i find first #i hope my best friends dont see these tags they’ll think im pathetic #And i am. But nobody has to know that #THE NOTE— Okay fine ill stop ILL STOP #hsr penacony spoilers #hsr penacony #penacony #dr ratio x aventurine #dr ratio #aventurine x dr ratio #aventio #ratiorine #hsr aventurine

[lobotomyladylives]

I think bpd is a bullshit stigmatizing label thrown at women to pathologize what is very obviously a response to prolonged childhood trauma and would be better labeled as C-PTSD. that being said my god I am bpd as fuck

#my sister just snapped at me bc i said i dont want to do a ton of physical labor for the job she signed me up for which apparently does i #in fact involve a lot of it. and her being mad for even that moment sent me spiraling so badly & i had the reaction i often do where #i start hating both her & myself terribly & want to isolate forever #i think she hates her new job & is taking it out on me but it doesnt matter bc i cant handle being yelled at #and the fact thst it took me till adulthood to realize thats bc i associate it with my father is crazy. yeah its just the cptsd like #everything else. and whats nutso is how i continue to think my trauma Wasnt Bad Enough for ptsd . #just bc he didnt beat the shit out of or molest me i feel like i dont even have a right to be this fucked up #not that it was only him. being bullied at school really did not help. i guess now that i think about it the problem is that until #i was a teenager i literally did not feel emotionally secure anywhere. home or school. always the ticking of a bomb in the bg #the inevitable moment my dad blew up over nothing or i overheard my peers talking about what a freak i was #i dont know why it still hurts to think about. im so far removed from it my life now couldnt be more different #well thats the stupid fucking thing about childhood isnt it. those are your very first experiences with the world & other ppl #i do know my view of romantic relationships was irrevocably poisoned by my parents & that is never going to be undone. so cool

[shannonallaround]

After pondering on it for several days, I have officially decided I did not like the direction of KFP4 and have banished it from my brain. It is no longer canon. KFP4? What's that? Don't know what you're talking about.

#spoilers ahead #it wasn't all bad #I really truly loved the scenes with Li and Mr Ping they were wonderfully hilarious #and the music was great #BUT #I just did not like the direction they took Po's story at all. #and I'm kinda furious they subtly undermined Shifu's character #by making him “fine”/“not fine” with Oogway picking Po as his successor instead of him. #it was only a thing for 2 seconds for the sake of humor but it completely undermines his inner peace character development #first off why can there only be one successor #and second off why can't Po take primarily the fighting side and Shifu take the spiritual side #It FITS HIM #don't know if most people would notice that shifu's character was undermined but because he's one of my favorites I sure did and it HURT #also um the furious five WHY didn't we have them be the main characters with Po instead of the fox chick no one cares about #literally their interactions with Po that's WHY WE'RE HERE DREAMWORKS #also it's become really obvious to me that the fox girl was literally written just so they could cast a specific voice actress in a big rol #nothing against that actress I love her in other stuff but that was a bad move Dreamworks #and another thing #the movie's message about change not always being bad is perfectly fine and good in theory #but such character change is only satisfying from a storytelling perspective if the audience actually WANTS the character to change!!! #I don't WANT Po to stop being the dragon warrior! I don't WANT him to pick a successor! That wasn't satisfying!! like whyyyyyyyyy #Plus he's like way too young?? to be worrying about this??? Oogway didn't worry about it until he was literally 900 years old #Shifu is what in his 60s? 80s? and he hasn't picked one #why would they make shifu worry about po doing that any time soon literally at all #so there dreamworks #I banish this movie #I banish it for one thousand years #kfp4 #kung fu panda 4 #po kung fu panda

[miss-demonya]

For doodle requests Maple and/or any of your ocs please

I drew Marple twice,, pfft?,,

Maprle,, I would kill for mapel,, She is so <3 I am marring her. Marrying. Marrige....

#ask.box~! #eris.art~! #kimi ga shine #your turn to die #yttd #maple yttd #the first one was not good to me. so i made another! and forgot to draw a character in the process... #why did this take a week?? i was drawing range— my hand hurt </:

[vividxp]

I've tried a couple of times to get my thoughts organized regarding white viewers commentary on how AMC's IWTV handles race, but I'll just simply say there's definitely a cynicism that is common in a lot of those analysis that is...bemusing.

#iwtv #amc iwtv #iwtv discourse #it's hard to describe #but it's half 'amc did the raceswap to get wokeness points so they have to beat audiences on the head with it every other minute' #and half 'oh they're just addressing race in the wrong way and it hurts the credibility of loustat as a couple' #i remember when maven in one of her reactions was like the show is making lestat a white savior #and literally all the black people (including me) in comments were like 'huh??' #I was also reading another recap that was generally really good and interesting esp about nola #but they thought Claudia calling Lestat massa #was the show handling race clumsily #which is just fascinating to me because wow folks really don't know why Claudia was doing that? #like that felt perfectly in character and spot on to me #first off she legitimately feels that way and we see her say that in the show #but at the same time it's also a point of attack that she can make without reprisal from lestat #lestat basically like disengages when she does it and it's funny to me ngl

[hypaalicious]

It’s going swell.

#it’s nasty work locking me in ‘easy mode’ with the score penalty #but ‘easy mode’ is whooping my ass like ascension 7 did in is3 #this humbling… is difficult for me to shoulder LMAO #I cannot remember the last time I struggled in IS like this #maybe in Fungimist when my roster was ass and I had no clue what I was doing #but Dawg if I don’t start with a Medic then IS4 refuses to give me one later #I literally have yet to do a run where I’ve been given a Medic ticket #did Sami cannibalize all the Medics? is that what this is? #Gummy & Quercus have been putting in an absurd amount of work 😭 #Wtf is with that first final boss tho #why is my Collapse rating off the goddamn charts all the time I’m already HURTING #Sami got TOO MANY HANDS rn LMAOOO #but we ball #arknights #明日方舟 #is4

[foundfamilynonsense]

Owl House plot points Disney STOLE from us bc of the cancellation.

- what exactly is the owl beast and why did the collector put them in that scroll

- who did the bat queen belong to when she was a palisman (was it really King’s dad? Did they have staffs back then??)

- The bat queen still owes Eda a favor

- Did the archivists kill king’s dad… do we know this??? Is it ever really said??? If so then the one that killed him would still be around right? So that leads me to another question

- where the fuck are the other archivists? The collector at least implies they’re the last one right? But if they killed King’s dad…

- I know we basically know this one but: is Eda Caleb’s descendant? Was flapjack Caleb’s palisman or was he Evelin’s palisman?

- Steve and Mattholomule being brothers

- I know we didn’t need it but I think seeing how Caleb’s murder ended up happening would have added a lot to Belos’s character if we had had the time.

- in the last episode of season two Eda has a small flashback that suggests by the end of school she is in a friend group with Raine, Lilith, Darius, Alador, and Perry Porter and I’m sorry but I think we deserved flashbacks of that group.

- a Darius centered episode around him and Alador plus maybe the former Golden Guard and how much Darius knew about the grimwalker situation.

- as stated by Luz: beach day.

Feel free to add on these are just the ones that came to me off the top of my head.

#the first five in particular annoy me a lot #like the bat queen GIVES EDA THE WHISTLE #SHE OWES EDA A FAVOR #NEVER RESOLVED #FAVOR NEVER CLAIMED #THANKS DISNEY #also who the fuck is the owl beast what’s their story #why did the collector hurt them? #or was it an archivist who hurt them? #what’s that about? #the owl house

[craacked-splatters]

"I know"

"Do u want to see what I added today?"

"Sure buddy"

(insane rambling below!)

Scrapbooks! Scrapbooks! Hell yeah!!

Hello to the 5 ppl seeing this👋 Ima be real Im running on 7 hours of sleep after 5day grind brain mushy rn and I scribbled everything maniacally by memory at 3am after having one of those revelation moments so I have no idea what I'm missing lmao. This is actually the first time drawing them like this 2. Really proud of it

and B4 u ask anything hear me out.

So like tmnt2012 mutant apocalypse am I right?

Yeah it's flawed and pacings off and stuff BUT! The implications it left behind are haunting and it has been stuck in my brain for years. One of the things that stuck with me was the fact that Raph and Don had stuff like April's tessen, Mikey's stuffed bear head, The Creeps containment jar, and Casey's skull(horrifying btw) with them and that it's like :((

I fully believe it was Donnie who collected and carried them everywhere in their car. Not only for Raph(to help with this memory)but also for himself.

Why? Well maybe I'm reading 2 much into it and it's also partly a HC of mine but also bc canonically Donnie has a bit of a hoarding habit collecting trinkets and pictures and stuff. He likes to keep things around that hold a lot of significant value to him.

We see this in The Creeping Doom during the intro

AND I swear he's got a literal wall of family photos in his lab somewhere I can't for the life of me find it but I know he did! He even took some to the farmhouse with him when they escaped during the invasion.

They're memories yk? Reminders..

Ok im having difficulty expressing this shit rn words r failing so like give me ur brain 4 a sec.

Imagine ur donbot.

You're stuck in a cold metal limbo for the rest of ur last remaining family members life. Everything and everyone you knew and cared about is dead and gone. Over thousands of species and ecosystems that made ur world unique wiped out. No more animals no more wild things no more blue clear skys. Death can't come for you. Not in a way that matters anymore.

And no matter where u go you are haunted by shadows of what once was. There are so many echoes and ghosts and cultures and stories and lives that were buried & left to rot by the gaping maws of fear & the desperate need to survive. No one cares for the past and the only other person around you can't remember it. Time will claim its domain again and there will be nothing left except empty metal husks to show sentience even existed in the first place.

Like holy shit he was just a kid bro and he never got the chance to even reach full adulthood!!! I can't possibly imagine the grief and guilt he must've carried with him all those years. He lost EVERYTHING

His family. His home. His world.

Did Donnie even get the chance to mourn??? Do u think his new body allowed it? Do u think he even ALLOWED himself to mourn? He had a hurt amnesiac brother who still needed to eat, who could still starve and bleed and die if they weren't careful enough.

So between his habits and the ✨Angst✨ and human pollution, him hoarding random ass things Wall-E style and making these shitty little scrapbooks or keepsakes didn't seem so far fetched to me. I also highly doubt there was enough time or resources to build shrines or graves in the middle of apocalypse. But yk honoring/preserving the memories of the things and ppl we love is natural for us so like SORRY if its a bit cringe of me wanting him to have SOMETHING to comfort him during the really bad days.

Even if its more bitter than sweet

Bonus doodads cuz I was indecisive:

The 1st was purple tinted cuz of donbot vision get it hehehe

#you bet ur bucks im writing a piece for this. ive got it halfway done in my docs already #also i lied i am cringe #i hoard stuff too it helps me remember #and also bcuz im lil goblin apparently #a lil projecting dont hurt nobody *car crash noises* #first attempt at a comic btw #look at me go! babysteps! #tmnt 2012 #mutant apocalypse #2012 old man raph #donie (donbot) #<-😭 #teenage mutant ninja turtles #splatter scribbles #phone art #(improvement bb!!!) #i copy pasted the newspaper clips im sorry😔 #but evething else was me :3 #and there are reasons why i drew what i did too :33 #2012 tmnt #bghuhh tim e fo sleep now gn

[spotsupstuff]

i sense how on the contrary, when moon is in Zeph’s local group the members will all go ‘omg youre actually letting us do this’ or be surprised of her leniency with almost anything(or if she gets upset she wont be yelling her ass off and will try to remain calm), because of how Zeph would usually be so strict with em and they didnt expect better

see- first you gotta understand that the chancla doesn't really Hurt the iterators. while they definitely can feel through their puppets, those things are made to be sturdy (throw a normal or singularity bomb into Pebs' chamber,he's fine, i know he just doesn't have health but worldbuilding is worldbuilding so i guess a fully functional iterator is fine with blackhole into the head). it maybe stings for a sec but it's not worse than gettin pinched (also where did you get that she yells at em, she's only exclaimed so far i think. if you check how she handled Innocence, that's how she generally goes about it- no yellin for the sake of puttin 'em in place, she's just venting out her frustrations into the air)

the Point of the chancla is to get the target's unwavering attention so she can talk some sense into them WITHOUT using the senior privilege which is far more invading since it cuts straight through their systems and forces the juniors to stop everything to pay attention. these things are giant supercomputers! they are going to have a different perspective on what counts as "too much"/"too bad" than us humans! it isn't used to limit what they are doing unless the thing they are gon do is explicitly threatening to their safety, the limiting is what the Senior Privilege does!

in that lil comic with Pebs, Suns, Nish, Inn and her, she doesn't actually even hit Nish in the last panel, the chancla is only supposed to suddenly appear from behind next to his face n he gets startled + drama queen points. i've admitted in the tags of it that i gave up on the last page so i don't blame anyone for not gettin that since i haven't put enough effort into communicating it

with what she's doin back in her own group, she Needs to be this strict if she wants her plan of keeping everyone reliably long-term safe to work

and her groupmates would undeniably miss her. they love her! they don't want some lenient stranger without constant spice to her instead of their ramshackle beloved Azzie!!!!

#Spot says stuff #rw #oc tag #remember!!!!! important point to her character that also bothered me at some point with how similar it makes her to Moon was that shes Kind #Zeph is kind almost as much as Moon but their situations- concerning all their past present and future- are strikingly different and so #their lives require them to have different approach to things. what Zeph is specifically doin different from Moon is that shes Firmer #strictness isnt wrong!!! if you arent strict on either yourself or the people around you then it is easy to breach boundaries n do- #-Terrible things. its. honestly why i got real sad when a peep asked me to tag that one post as abuse. its not that believe me Zeph would- #-Never abuse another iterator. shes specifically trying to get around that while still keepin them sensible. but ofc ill tag it as such 4 u #look where Moon's leniency got her! dead and hurt and everyone who loved her suffering! there are times when you Need to be firm and cut- #-a bad situation at its bud before it can spiral into something absolutely damning #i didnt include it cuz it isnt Funney™ but after each chancla she talks to the target about why what they did was wrong #Suns you cant send that. it can hurt him very badly. Innocence you need to respect other people. Pebbles this will Hurt me if u keep doing- #-what you are doing right now. it could *kill* me. why are you doing this in the first place? do you need to talk? need me to listen? #being strict and being cruel or dictatorial are different things