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mostlymovieswithmax · 3 years

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Movies I watched in September

I skipped a month again. But not to worry. This is a wrap-up of all the movies I watched in the month of September (2021). I think I maintained a steady ratio throughout but perhaps there’s not as much on the list this time because I wanted to get on with other things, be that work-wise or just trying to get out to the beach as much as possible and make the most of the last dregs of summertime. I went swimming in the sea a lot! But I also got to catch the new James Wan movie, Malignant (twice!) as well as the new James Bond, No Time To Die. Not to mention a couple of classics! My hope again with this list is to introduce people to new movies that they may otherwise not have seen or perhaps have never have heard of. These short reviews are my own subjective opinions on each individual movie. I’m thinking maybe a more informal approach to movie criticism can help include others who are just passing through. So here is every film I watched from the 1st to the 30th of September.

Fanny and Alexander (1982) - 8/10

Coming from Ingmar Bergman, I was surprised to see just how warm this was. I’m a big fan of the Swedish director and while this isn’t my favourite from him (perhaps due to it needing a second watch, or the fact I watched it in three chunks because it’s about three hours long and I overestimated how much time I had in the day) it’s still an interesting departure from what I’ve come to expect from him. Fanny and Alexander is a dreamy Christmassy movie that presents an overarching theme of love, spending a large portion of its runtime just hanging out with this big family on Christmas and showing how close they are. I would love to watch this again at some point in December and see how my opinion shifts but for now, while it could meandre in places, I can’t deny how unique a movie it is.

Another Round (2021) - 10/10

I had seen Thomas Vinterberg’s latest film before this point but this was the first time I got to see it in a cinema. Luckily for me my local independent cinema was showing it one night and while they had a few technical hiccups with setting everything up, the movie itself was still fantastic. Following a handful of school teachers who experiment with whether they can maintain a certain level of blood alcohol throughout the day, Another Round demonstrates a sense of unease and sadness throughout an otherwise comedic tone. These emotions are balanced perfectly, boosting an already intriguing concept that examines our relationship with alcohol from every angle.

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021) - 4/10

Straight after Another Round, I made my way to the chain cinema to meet up with friends to see the new Marvel movie. At this point, having had my second dose of the Covid vaccine that morning, I was starting to feel the effects and I was not doing well. But I watched the movie anyway, all the while wanting to be in bed. Shang-Chi was massively underwhelming and I’d go as far as to say it was even incompetent. Truth be told, I like the Marvel Cinematic Universe but from the get-go I already wasn’t hyped for this movie and I was expecting it to be about mediocre but what I got was something a lot worse. I won’t rehash what I’ve already said on this film so if you want to hear me rant about it a bit then I would recommend checking out episode 47 of my podcast, The Sunday Movie Marathon.

Your Name. (2016) - 6/10

Ultimately this was a fun little romance movie but I can’t say I understand why people adore it, nor do I understand why it needed to be animated. For what it’s worth, I found it cute and entertaining but nothing much jumped out to me.

Phil Wang: Philly Philly Wang Wang (2021) - 7/10

I’m always stumped on what to say about stand-up shows. It was good! I enjoyed Phil Wang talking about different things in a funny way and it got some laughs out of me. Admittedly I’m writing this a couple of weeks after watching it but it’s certainly a decent way to spend an hour if you’re looking for something light and fun.

The Lego Batman Movie (2017) - 6/10

I remember seeing this in the cinema with two of my friends and the theatre wasn’t exactly packed but those that were there were either children or parents. But I like The Lego Batman Movie! Clearly this was made by fans of the character as it’s packed with a lot of details and references from old comic runs but as someone who has never read the comics or seen those older movies, it still managed to be entertaining and while I won’t say it’s quite as good as The Lego Movie, the animation is still top notch and the voice actors are certainly giving it their all, especially Will Arnett as the titular character. It’s just a bit of fun!

Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) - 10/10

A friend of mine told me to go to the screening of Terminator 2 at my local because they themselves weren’t able to attend. The first Terminator movie is a real gem and one of the most 80’s-type movies I’ve ever seen. I was excited to watch T2, remembering next to nothing about what I watched of it when I was a child. So it was just me in this screening, with one person in a row in front of me, and one other person behind me. If I had it my way, I would have been the only person there because this is honestly one of the best movies I’ve ever seen and it was very hard not to yell out every time something incredible happened, especially when it’s so action-packed and basically goes all out at every opportunity to deliver some of the most jaw-dropping effects or choreography. Truly there is never a dull moment and I was grinning like a lunatic the entire time. This film rocks!

Mirror (1975) - 7/10

Andrei Tarkovsky is one of my favourite directors and the new Criterion release of his film, Mirror, had been on my shelf for a while. My friend and fellow podcast co-host, Chris, was also interested in watching this movie so we decided we’d give it a watch and review it on the podcast. But this is such a weirdly structured film that the entire way through, neither of us knew what on earth was happening. What we got from the experience is reflected in the episode we made and I would love to watch this again at some point, hopefully with more context and a better understanding of what I’m in for. But in the meantime, you can hear the discussion on episode 46 of the podcast.

The Night House (2021) - 6/10

The Night House is David Bruckner’s follow-up to his previous movie, The Ritual and while I’ll say I prefer The Ritual, this is still a decent watch, just don’t go in expecting horror. More of my thoughts can be found in episode 46 of the podcast.

The Ritual (2017) - 7/10

After watching The Night House, I decided to go back to the director’s previous film, The Ritual and I got a lot more out of it this time around. Themes of guilt and grief permeate the movie and the result is this weird and unnerving film about a group of guys who go hiking in Sweden after the death of one of their friends and encounter dark forces beyond their comprehension. It can be drawn out at times and probably could have been boosted with a better script but there are so many interesting and strange ideas presented that culminate in a haunting third act that it’s worth watching just to see what on earth they’re being hunted by.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) - 10/10

Straight after recording an episode about our favourite movies on the podcast, I returned to one of my all-time favourites. Holy Grail is such a fantastically funny movie with so many memorable lines and moments that it’s become a staple in the comedy genre. Setting it in Arthurian England is a surefire way to make sure it stands the test of time, making use of the budget in a way that heightens the comedy, for example: not being able to get horses and so resorting to having a man banging two coconut halves together as they skip through the grassy terrain. It’s the writing that really takes centre stage here; the guys from Monty Python were/are geniuses. A couple more points were made on my podcast so please do listen to that to hear more: Episode 46 of The Sunday Movie Marathon

Malignant (2021) - 7/10

The new James Wan movie was bonkers! I saw this one twice in quick succession without hesitation. To find out why I love it so much, listen to episode 47 of the podcast.

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) - 8/10

We got a marathon of the first three Nightmare on Elm Street movies on the podcast so we watched them in quick succession within a day. This first movie is a true masterpiece of its time. For more insight, listen to episode 47 of the podcast.

A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy’s Revenge (1985) - 2/10

Quite an embarrassing departure from the genius and fun of the original. Elm Street 2 is not only technically unfulfilling but a wholly unentertaining movie to boot. More thoughts in episode 47 of the podcast.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987) - 3/10

While only a few hairs better than its predecessor, Elm Street 3 is still a mere shadow of the original. All in all, these second and third instalments in the franchise have put me off watching any of the others. More thoughts in episode 47 of the podcast.

Her (2013) - 10/10

Her is at once a beautiful love story between a man and an AI, and a scarily accurate look at how technology is expanding and moving forward. It uses warm colours and smooth camera work to create something that feels homely and safe, juxtaposing the often cold and dark feeling of science-fiction films to tell an intrinsically human story. What would it be like to go through this and what are the hurdles that need to be overcome? Her is a masterpiece of filmmaking and it left me emotionally exhausted in all the right ways.

Alien (1979) - 10/10

First time I’ve seen Alien in the cinema (as I was too busy not being born yet to see it on an initial release) and it was amazing! This is cosmic horror at its best. With all the eerie sound design, slow and deliberate camera movement, and outstanding effects, there’s no wonder as to why this is considered one of the greats and seeing it on the big screen was enthralling.

Aliens (1986) - 8/10

I had never seen Aliens before so the opportunity to see it for the first time in a cinema was one I could not pass up, especially since I was able to see it straight after the first. This is more of an action movie than the first one and as that, it was really something to see. While I don’t think it quite measures up to the original, James Cameron does bring a style to it that makes it something completely different while still feeling in line with its predecessor. A problem I’ve found as time goes on is that I don’t find myself thinking much about Aliens whatsoever and that’s probably down to its characters who generally I found quite weak. I’m already not big on standard action flicks and this is a clear cut above those but it does still fall victim to the trappings. That being said, I would in no way call this bad or even mediocre because it was a lot fun and being able to see it in the cinema is an experience I’m very grateful for.

Gunpowder Milkshake (2021) - 6/10

Gunpowder Milkshake is trying very hard to be John Wick and although it never really manages it, there is still fun to be had with its action (because really that’s all this movie has to offer). There’s a very creative scene in which Karen Gillan has to fight some goons in a hospital with a gun taped to one hand and a scalpel taped to the other, with the caveat being that her arms don’t work. Despite that and a good enough performance from Gillan, the rest is very goofy, with a villain about as intriguing as an advert for life insurance and a story that to say the least, leaves much to be desired.

I Lost My Body (2019) - 10/10

Another one for the podcast, I Lost My Body is a glorious cerebral animated piece that hits every nerve in my body. Listen to episode 48 for more.

Alice In Wonderland (1951) - 10/10

Perhaps the best early Disney movie in my humble opinion. Alice In Wonderland is complete insanity, doing things simply for the sake of it in a beguiling dreamlike take on Lewis Carroll’s classic book. Listen to episode 48 of The Sunday Movie Marathon for more.

WALL-E (2008) - 9/10

WALL-E is one of Pixar’s best. It is a cautionary tale of where the world is headed wrapped in a sweet story about going to the ends of the solar system in order to help those you love. I do however have one big problem with this movie and you can find out more in episode 48 of the podcast.

Killing Them Softly (2012) - 6/10

A lot about America’s economy at the time, Killing Them Softly goes about showing the lengths people will go to for money and yes it is generally solid with a fantastic speech by Brad Pitt to cap it off, but it cannot avoid meandering scenes of listless dialogue that neither engage me nor make me care about the characters it presents.

The Dirties (2013) - 6/10

Funny! The Dirties is a mockumentary about two guys making a movie about bullies in their school. While often it was generally chugging along and making me laugh, it tended to err on the side of plain as regards its presentation. A lot of scenes happen for the sake of it and in a movie that’s around an hour and twenty, it’s amazing I still managed to dip out in the latter half. More thoughts in episode 49 of the podcast.

Telstar: The Joe Meek Story (2009) - 3/10

Ah, I really hated this. I don’t even want to talk about it anymore. Just listen to episode 49 of the podcast to hear what I had to say.

Blade Runner 2049 (2017) - 10/10

This is my favourite movie! I got to talk about it on my podcast! Listen to episode 49 of The Sunday Movie Marathon to hear what I have to say!

No Time To Die (2021) - 8/10

Best Bond movie? Perhaps. I’ve not seen every Bond movie but of the ones I have seen (which does include all of Daniel Craig’s run), this is as good as it gets. Despite a near three hour runtime, No Time To Die felt as though it wasted very little. I’ve always complained that I could never follow the plot to these movies because often I simply didn’t care about it; for me it’s more about the action and seeing Daniel Craig be James Bond. No Time To Die does not escape some of the general tropes that often don’t leave me thinking I’ve watched something masterful but what I will say in its favour is that it’s fucking fun! Don’t expect to love it if you already dislike these movies because generally it stays in the same vein as the others before it, but for Bond fans it’s something totally enjoyable. Captivating cinematography, biting fight choreography and action set-pieces, a core struggle for James who actually goes through relatable hardships his time round, coping with being part of a family and trying to keep them safe.

I was happy to see a bit more attention paid to female characters this go round; in a franchise that often glamorizes Bond’s sexual promiscuity and ability to woo any woman he likes, it was much more refreshing to see that he often did need help from a lot of badass, well written female characters.

No Time To Die has been waiting to be released for a long time now and now it’s actually out, I’m pleased it’s not hot garbage. In fact, quite the opposite is true. The final swan song for Craig’s fifteen-year tenure as one of cinema’s most recognisable heroes outdoes all that came before it. Bravo.

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adultswim2021 · 3 years

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Space Ghost Coast to Coast #86: “Idlewild South” | December 14, 2003 - 11:30 PM | S08E05

In “Idlewild South” Space Ghost is peer-pressured into drinking tall boys with Moltar and Zorak. He gets rip-roaring toasted and makes a fucking FOOL of himself in front of television’s Jeff Probst, the then-host (still? host?) of Survivor. Jeff is bemused by the proceedings and is eventually browbeaten into saying he loves Space Ghost. This one’s pretty Flipmode-esque, in that everything goes off the rails pretty spectacularly, leading to a real good ending. Boy, that show could really end well.

This one gets a few points deducted for using a particular barfing sound effect for when Space Ghost hurls. When I was a kid I enjoyed a computer game entitled “Monty Python’s Complete Waste of Time”. As a bonus the game included a soundboard of naughty body noises, and to this day I hear those same sound effects pop up in shows here and there. It takes me out of whatever I’m watching. Sorry Space Ghost. It’s kinda not your fault. But you should have made George Lowe actually barf for that part. Tell him he’s been named in a class-action suit and he has to give back all his cameo money.

There’s some funny animation bits; some of which includes brand new animation and some of which that only uses preexisting movements, and is a stretch. Space Ghost on drums is particularly flagrant, but it’s really funny. But him doing the robot is so beautiful. It would make Hayao Miyazaki weep.

I like this one a lot, but I struggle to find things to say about it. Last go-round I was very brief. So I tried to beef-up my prose by seeking out other sources I could riff on. The spectacularly shitty Space Ghost Coast to Coast wiki offered the following fun facts:

This episode stands alone as most fans favorite episodes.

Huh. Okay. I’ll take your word on that.

This is creator Mike Lazzo's favorite episode.

Believable! I guess.

This episode includes host of Survivor Jeff Probst. Before the show even got very big!

MAIL BAG

Mona Simpson died right? Why did they do that?

Yeah! They did an ultimate rudeness and had her pass away in like, a season 18 episode or something. Really rotten stuff.

you don't think scott evil himself is a worthy adversary for space ghost? "how about no" lol

He probably just talked about G.I. Joes the whole time. He can’t stop thinking about those little guys and how you could twist them around. Awful little man. That’s all there is to say. What else is there to say?

Please change the name of the mail bag to NASTY QUACKS. the nastier, the better if you ask me.

Um, let’s see if I do that (rolling eyes very performatively)...

#space ghost coast to coast #adult swim #adultswim2021

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latveriansnailmail · 3 years

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Favorite Movies as of 2021

Subject to updating because surely I’ve missed a few. This is not supposed to be a list of meritorious films but rather just a list of movies I genuinely enjoy. It runs from Shakespeare to Bill & Ted with heavy doses of 80s fantasy, superhero schlock, and pretty much anything with Kurt Russell in it. Enjoy.

1- Harvey No contest, my favorite of all time.

2- Big Trouble in Little China It’s always a great joy to introduce a new viewer to this film.

3- Flash Gordon (1980) In which they totally lean into the camp and low budget.

4- The Thing I watch this annually upon the first major snowfall.

5- Titus (Taymor) One winter break Titus would be on one of the movie channels each day when I woke up, so I watched it daily for a month and it didn’t get old.

6- Death to Smoochy “Are you alright?” “I’m a little fucked up in general so it’s hard to gauge.”

7- Blade Runner (The Final Cut) So there’s this dude Deckard and he hunts robots but it turns out HE’S a robot, oh so very clever, little film

8- Tombstone I recently learned that Kurt Russell directed this film in all but name.

9- The Dark Crystal Immersive fantasy, though I’m sure it appears plain, drab, and simple now after the Netflix prequel.

10- Somewhere in Time I’m a romantic, I guess. Thus all the John Carpenter movies.

11- Grosse Pointe Blank So good, I used to think I liked John Cusack.

12- The Producers (musical) You heard me. Wilder and Mostel were great but the musical version had decades to mill over and expand the premise.

13- To Be or Not To Be (Brooks) Surprisingly suspenseful.

14- The 13th Warrior Saw it again recently and it holds up. Horror, only it happens to viking warriors who would rather chop the horror down than run.

15- The Mighty Thor I mean, Black Panther is objectively the best of the lot but subjectively this is my personal favorite superhero flick. I must have seen it a half a dozen times at least.

16- Lost Boys A billion Chinese can’t be wrong.

17- Die Hard A Christmas tradition. As a postman, it’s cathartic for me to watch Christmas get blown up a little before all the hugging and sentiment.

18- The Blues Brothers Deadpan hilarity cut with performances by legends of blues and soul.

19- The Sting The best heist film. It keeps you guessing until the very end and no twist feels arbitrary or leaves a hole.

20- Interview with the Vampire Fun fact, I looked like Pitt’s Louis when I was a young man in the goth scene.

21- Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure “Be excellent to each other!” “Party on, dudes!” *air guitar*

22- The Seventh Seal See? This list has its high points.

23- Revolutionary Girl Utena Note: Read the entire manga, watch the entire anime series, and read Adolescence of Utena BEFORE watching this or you’ll be left confused. Dazzled but confused.

24- The Nightmare Before Christmas So good I got the tarot deck.

25- The Last Unicorn It’s still a damn shame they never made that live action remake. Christopher Lee was set to reprise King Haggard.

26- Chasing Amy Honestly changed my life.

27- Excalibur It’s weird though how they’re always in armor. Wedding? Armor. Dinner? Armor. Deathbed? Armor.

28- Ginger Snaps A cut above any other werewolf movie I’ve seen.

29- Top Secret! My sense of humor distilled.

30- Clash of the Titans (Harryhousen) Yeah it’s dry but then there’s the monsters.

31- Monty Python’s the Meaning of Life People are not wearing enough hats.

32- Shadow of the Vampire Nosferatu nearly made this list but it’s hard to pinpoint a definitive cut. Try instead this film about the making of Nosferatu with an actual vampire as the vampire.

33- Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust Look, we as a culture had the unfortunate experience of Twilight. This is the same premise but actually good.

34- The Last Supper This film challenged and changed me as a young man more so than any other work of art.

35- The Princess Bride The perfect film, but I’ve seen it so much it’s down at 35 now.

36- Blazing Saddles What can I as a white guy say? Just watch the movie.

37- Streets of Fire Always suspicious to me how Final Fight premiered within a year of this movie.

38- Gremlins More Christmas havok. Yum?

39- The Beastmaster Forgotten and underappreciated.

40- Ladyhawke A thing of beauty.

41- Willow C’mon. It’s Willow. I have nothing to justify here.

42- Speed Racer I know you heard it’s bad but hear me out: it is the strongest narrative I’ve ever seen on film and it’s exactly the way you played with your toy cars when you were little.

43- Angelheart You’re supposed to know that de Niro is Lucifer. The rest is mystery and the final reveal set up a trope that’s been done into the ground nowadays.

44- The Hunger More atmosphere than plot, but hey, vampire Bowie!

45- Zoolander My partner’s favorite.

46- Faust (Murnau) You will be shocked to see what was possible to achieve in film in 1926.

47- A Muppet Christmas Carol but a cut that includes the fiance’s song This finishes out my traditional Christmas films.

48- Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein Y’know, I’ve got two Branagh films on here and neither are what you would expect given his catalog. The other one’s Thor for crying out loud.

49- Highlander I noticed in recent editions of Vampire: the Masquerade that it’s still possible in that game to hide a katana in a trenchcoat. This movie is why.

50- The Name of the Rose One of only a few instances where I prefer the film to the book. That book loooooong.

51- Robocop (1987) Of all the damn science fiction, why must we be in Robocop?

52- The Prophecy Now we’re getting into films I demoted since the last time I updated this list. This film’s a slow burn unless you get turned up for angels and Christopher Walken like I do.

53- The Warriors Would be higher if the opening wasn’t so slow.

54- Legend Tim Curry kills it as Darkness.

55- Black Panther Objectively the best superhero movie and the Academy backs me on that one.

56- Wonder Woman I do wish they’d trot out Vandal Savage as a Wonder Woman villain.

57- Captain America: The Winter Soldier Just rewatched this one earlier! It is heavily marked by the height of the War on Terror.

58- Blade The ancestor of all modern superhero movies and a solid vampire flick to boot.

59- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Nostalgic for me? Maybe, but I hold that this is the first comic film worth a damn because they stuck with the comics when they wrote it.

60- Captain America: the First Avenger This movie is a real test of character. If someone doesn’t like Cap it’s because they think goodness is unrealistic.

61- Four Rooms Really just rooms 3 and 4.

62- Reservoir Dogs Hey, two Tim Roth films in a row!

63- Event Horizon Do you see?

64- What Dreams May Come Kind of an emotional ringer, especially after William’s death.

65- Monty Python and the Holy Grail Have I watched it into the ground? Yes. Is it still hilarious? Yes, and it gets funnier the more you study Arthurian myth.

66- Pulp Fiction I’m kinda over this now.

67- The Crow People who liked the comic passionately disagree with me but I still like this one.

68- Akira Still.

69- Ghost in the Shell Still, though the farther you get from 13 the less titties you need in your art.

70- Beetlejuice Why not? Let's just tack this on there.

Honorable Mentions:

Fight Club A suburb film but one I grew out of, as should everyone. If you meet a man who’s passionate about Fight Club, run!

American Psycho Ditto. I grew out of this but it’s still excellent.

What’s Eating Gilbert Grape A horrible caricature of my brother’s life. I don’t get along with my brother any more.

Rocky Horror Picture Show Not actually a good film if you watch it straight with no commentary. Still, it’s a cornerstone of queer culture.

Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2 Of all the superhero films, this is the one that resonated with me the most. I was in a weird place at the time. It still resonates with me now because I’m a foster dad.

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chelsfic · 4 years

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Accident Forgiveness - Part 2 - Bucky Barnes x Reader

Part One | Masterlist

A/N: Part two!! This is so very fun to write. I hope you enjoy! Thanks to @sabinemorans for listening to me talk about it! Reader gets a nickname in this one, because I can’t deal with Y/N.

Summary: Your wrist is finally healed after your run-in with a certain brooding freight train. You score a great deal on an adorable little motorbike and fix it up with your dad. All you want is a nice Sunday ride...what could go wrong?

Warnings: Fluff, Crack, automobile accidents...

---

The bike calls to you. It’s leaning up against a garage with a hand-written “For Sale” sign on it. It looks old, rusted, and well-used. Considering the low price scrawled on the sign you’re betting it needs some work.

You need it.

You pull out your phone and open your frequent contacts.

“Hey dad? How would you feel about coming down to the city with your pick-up this weekend?”

Your dad’s gruff voice rumbles over the line, “Sounds awful. When and where?”

---

You spend the weekend at your dad’s place in White Plains, fixing up the bike in the garage. Under the layers of rust and grime, it turns out to be a 2001 Honda Super Cub. Beyond a tune up and an oil change, the only thing really wrong with it is the body. Nothing a fresh coat of paint can’t fix.

“This is a nice little bike, kiddo,” your dad congratulates you, wiping grease and sweat from his brow with an old rag. “You gonna keep it here or ride it around the city?”

You’re perched on a tall stool at your dad’s workbench, your short legs dangling as you consider, “It’d be fun to have it with me in the city on the weekends. I just gotta convince my landlord to let me keep it in his storage shed...I don’t want to leave it on the street…”

You hop off the stool to run your hand over the motorcycle’s refinished body. You’ve painted it in a sleek two-tone pattern: red and cream. Hawkguy is going to be so jealous.

“I don’t think it’ll be a problem.”

---

“Nah,” Clint waves you off as he unlocks the door to his apartment. You’ve been lurking out in the hallway waiting for him to get home.

“What do you mean, ‘nah’?” you whine, following him inside without asking. Pizza Dog jumps up to greet you, nearly knocking you down in his enthusiasm. You smile and give him a quick hug before starting again. “You still owe me, Barton!”

Clint’s head has disappeared into the refrigerator and he emerges with a Chinese food box and his mouth already stuffed with lo mein.

“Wahhh doo eein?!” he chews his food, swallowing and trying again, “Whadya mean? I threw you an apology party, didn’t I? You know how long it’ll take me to clean out that shed to fit a motorcycle inside?”

“C’mon, Clint! If I leave it on the street it’ll get stolen. Or it’ll end up collateral damage in one of your little superhero battles,” you wheedle. You walk into the kitchenette and grab his arm, looking up at him with your biggest puppy dog eyes, “C’monnnn!”

Clint sighs dramatically and finally gives in.

“On one condition...”

---

The bike struggles to reach 30 miles per hour under your combined weight and Clint’s massive form looks ridiculous clinging to you on the back of the little motor bike. But you have to admit--this is pretty damn fun.

“Weee!” Clint yells from behind you as you putter through the streets of Brooklyn with a giant smile on your face.

---

People are passing you and giving you dirty looks as you make your way over the Brooklyn Bridge. Well, futz them. You’re enjoying your Sunday afternoon ride. You feel like a real rebel without a cause in your worn leather jacket and the bulbous, cherry red helmet you bought to match your bike. Nobody needs to know the saddle bag strapped to the back is full of library books and a take-out container from your favorite bakery.

The sun is just getting low and it’s orange-red glow reflects on the surface of the East River as you chug along. The sounds of car engines and the occasional curse from an annoyed motorist are suddenly interrupted by a long, deafening screech. You glance over your shoulder and your eyes widen in alarm as a black SUV barrels through traffic, heedlessly colliding with other vehicles as it clears a path over the bridge.

“HOLY SH--”

The SUV screams past and you barely have time to process what you’re seeing before you’re suddenly, brutally thrown from your bike. You tuck your limbs into your body and slam into the cement with enough force to knock the wind out of you. You roll several feet before skidding to a stop. The leather jacket mostly saves you from road rash but your hands are a bloody mess and it feels like your whole middle is one big bruise. What the fuck was that? It felt almost like someone pushed you off but that’s--

You look up just in time to see your bike zooming--well, doing it’s best to zoom--away with a dark figure riding it.

Oh, hell no!

---

The red-wigged impostor is in handcuffs and leaning against the side of the SUV with a surly expression. Bucky glares at the woman, clearly connected with the Red Room and attempting to frame Natasha for the string of murders she committed over the last week.

“Don’t feel like talking, huh?” he shrugs, removing a knife from his belt and flipping it expertly in his hand. “Don’t worry, mladshaya sestra...I’ll help you find the words.”

The woman refuses to meet his eyes, fixing her gaze in the middle distance instead. Only the faintest sneer curling her lips indicates that she’s heard him at all.

Sam lands gracefully a few feet away and is already talking into his ear piece to call in backup.

“Lotta damage, here,” he states, glancing around at the crashed cars and the wrecked motorcycle. “You’re almost as bad as Banner, Buck. Think you can manage one mission without smashing something?”

“Hey, I captured the target, didn’t I?” Bucky rolls his eyes and slips the knife back into his belt holster.

Clint finally arrives, huffing and puffing after trying to keep up with the super soldier. He’s bent almost double, catching his breath, when his eyes light on the familiar red and cream motor bike lying mangled on the ground.

“Hey...isn’t that--?”

All three superhero’s heads snap up as you come limping up to the scene. You’re carrying your helmet at your side and your hair is an impressive tangle whipping around your head in the breeze. When you lay eyes on the wrecked Super Cub you let out a shriek.

“MY BIKE!!”

Bucky freezes in place, his eyes wide and every muscle tensed in anxiety.

“You gotta be shittin’ me,” he mumbles under his breath.

Clint eyes him accusingly. He is never going to hear the end of this…

You stand there looking down at your ruined bike and thinking about all the adventures you’d planned to have with her. You were going to take her to Coney Island...Rockaway beach...maybe even take a road trip to the Berkshires… Your poor sweet Cubby didn’t ask for this!

“You!” you snarl, marching up to Bucky with your hands on your hips. “Why is it always you!? Do you have it out for me or something?”

Clint snorts and mutters, “He’s got somethin’ for you…”

“SHUT UP!” you and Bucky both yell simultaneously.

You turn back to Bucky and arch your brow in expectation, “Well?”

The super-spy ex-assassin Avenger stumbles over his words, “I--uh, well...I didn’t mean...I didn’t know it was--”

“Didn’t know it was ME?” you finish for him with renewed fury. “Bucky! You can’t just go around shoving people off their motorcycles!”

“‘S hardly a motorcycle…,” he mumbles angrily. “More of a scooter if anything.”

“You! You...ugh!” you fall on him in a flurry of practically useless punches aimed at his chest. Bucky stands there looking bemused as you rain down fury with your tiny fists on his solid, immovable muscles.

“Hey!” Clint shouts in an excellent approximation of a frustrated dad voice. “Enough! Don’t do a hit on Bucky! That’s not nice.”

He puts his arms around you from behind and drags you away from the super soldier who looks--infuriatingly--unscathed.

“But he stole my bike and wrecked it!” you whine, finally going limp and dropping from Clint’s hold.

Clint rolls his eyes to the sky like a martyr.

“And do two wrongs make a right, young lady?”

“Pshh,” you scoff, shaking your head and leaning over your bike to check the saddle bag. You flip it open to find that the box containing your cherry pie has been pulverized and…

“MY LIBRARY BOOKS!!!”

---

The next morning you’re awoken by the cacophony of sounds coming from the alleyway behind the building. It sounds like Monty Python building the frickin’ Trojan Rabbit. You growl and roll out of bed, falling to the floor and catching yourself on your bandaged hands, cursing at the stinging pain.

“Stupid…’vengers...think they can do whatever they want...just cuz they save the world sometimes…” you’re muttering under your breath as you stagger to your feet and pull the cord on your blinds to look out your bedroom window.

The door to the supply shed is open and two guys are bent over your wrecked bike. You throw the window open in an instant and climb out onto the fire escape.

“Hey!” you bellow. “Uh--stop! That’s my bike! I know the Avengers, buds! And I can have them down here so fast--”

The two men crane their necks to look up at you. One of them is wearing a welding mask but the other one is definitely--

“Bucky?”

He looks up at you with a sheepish smile and gives a little wave with his metal hand.

“Hey, Kit Kat…” he greets and you frown in confusion until you look down and realize you’re wearing a baggy nightshirt you’d got at Hershey Park. It’s emblazoned with the Kit Kat logo. Even from two stories up you can see the gleam of humor in his eyes. You can also see...a lot more. He’s wearing a black tank top that shows off his impossibly toned shoulders and back. Your brain short circuits momentarily as you rake your eyes down his form.

The man beside him flips up the mask and you see he’s an older guy with a sharp goatee.

“Are we taking a social break or are we getting to work, Barnes? You know I gave up brunch to do this for you. Brunch,” the man voice drips with sarcasm.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, alright, Tony,” Bucky shakes his head and turns back to the bike.

Wait, Tony as in--?

“Hey!” you call down and Bucky lifts his head up to lock eyes with you. How can those blue eyes still have so much power from so far away?? “You still owe me for the library books!”

Bucky laughs and turns back to the bike.

“I mean it! I have a clean library record, Bucky! I’m gonna have fines!”

“Don’t push it, doll!” he calls as Tony ignites the blow torch.

---

A week later you scoot up to the curb on a side street near the Bedford Branch of the Brooklyn Public Library. Cubby has been restored to her former glory thanks to Bucky and Tony’s loving care and you give her an affectionate pat as you dismount and walk down the street toward the squat, brick library building. There may be grander libraries in New York but this is your neighborhood branch and it feels like home. You mutter and shake your head at the prospect of having to pay replacement fines for the books that Bucky ruined.

The librarian behind the desk is about your age with dyed bright red hair and a sleeve of tattoos that look like children’s book illustrations. Cool.

“Hey--um,” you roll your eyes in irritation at yourself. “I have to pay some replacement fees? I kind of...got cherry pie all over some books.”

The librarian laughs good-naturedly and pulls up your account on her computer. She asks you for the titles and frowns at her screen.

“Looks like...yeah--they’ve already been paid for,” she tells you with a shrug. “Guess you have a mysterious benefactor.”

You smile faintly and shake your head. Mysterious, my ass. You thank her and you’re about to leave when she stops you.

“Do you want to pick up your hold?”

You don’t remember putting anything on hold...but you’ve had occasional bouts of late-night enthusiasm that resulted in excessive library catalog searches, maybe you forgot...

“Uh...sure,” you say and watch as she disappears into an office behind the circulation desk.

She returns a few minutes later with a slim paperback volume in her hands. She scans the barcode and slips the receipt into the book.

“Enjoy!” she says with a smile and you thank her once again.

You glance down at the cover as you’re walking out and you let out a bark of laughter even as irritation spikes behind your eyes.

“Motorcycle Safety: Basics for Beginners”

Bucky Frickin’ Barnes...

Tags: @watsonwise

A/N: “Don’t do a hit on Bucky”-- yes that was a McElroy reference.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes fanfic #hawkeye #hawkguy #winter soldier #winter soldier x reader #marvel fanfic #chelsfic

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casper-writes-stuff · 4 years

Text

I Think I’m In Love

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21921265

Summary: Virgil falls for Roman, and the realization hits him pretty hard. But... It's not a scary realization, like he thought it would be.

In which I'm five days late for Virgil's birthday, but here's his birthday fic that got way out of hand. I went into this expecting like no plot and Virgil simply thinking about how gay he is for Roman and then Roman refused to be ignored and it just kind of went from there. I've dedicated this to Max ( @max-is-tired) cause honestly? They've helped me get out of my writing funk lately and also they've been super excited for me to finish it since I sprung the idea for the fic on them in the first place lmao.

It wasn’t exactly a soft realization, when Virgil had it. It wasn’t like Patton telling him he loved him so much, and that he wouldn’t know what to do without his friendship. It wasn’t like Logan handing him a book on something Virgil was really interested in, wanting to discuss it with him and Virgil figuring out that was Logan telling him that he loved him like a brother. Nothing with Remus was soft, but realizing Virgil cared about him, too, wasn’t nearly as jarring as this.

Honestly, realizing how much he loved each of his friends never hit Virgil quite as hard as it did when he realized he was in love with one Roman Grimm. It was like a bag of bricks dropped from a few feet straight onto his chest.

Virgil had come up with a particularly creative insult and it had left Roman keeled over, wheezing so hard all that was escaping his mouth was high pitched noises, not a breath of air between them. He’d crossed his arms in triumph, feeling like he’d won that days bickering.

It took him all of ten seconds before he realized his expression wasn’t the smirk he’d been going for, but an overly sappy, love-filled smile at Roman’s laughter. And that’s when the bricks dropped and all air rushed out of his lungs, his eyes widening as he watched Roman gather himself.

He… didn’t run. Didn’t even consider it before Roman had recovered, made a comment that prompted Virgil into a response that sent him cackling again. While the conversation continues, Virgil thinks.

He thinks about his last venture into the dating world, and how it ended in such a massive disaster that he did his best to jade himself to feeling like that again, because what’s the point of butterflies when they’re only going to rip through your heart on their way out?

But… being around Roman doesn’t give him butterflies. Strangely enough, Virgil feels like he’s the one with wings, when he’s with the flamboyant actor. Being with Roman makes Virgil feel like he could do anything he wanted to, so long as he had him by his side. Doesn’t matter that they’d be bickering and insulting each other the entire journey. If anything, that’d make Virgil feel more confident that he can actually pull it off, whatever it was he decided to do that day.

And honestly, now that he’s thinking about it, Virgil gets kind of reckless when he and Roman are in the same vicinity. Dee has even pointed out to him before a venture into an abandoned amusement park to go ghost hunting that Roman had an easier time convincing Virgil to do something stupid and kind of dangerous than Patton did trying to get him to sleep.

Virgil had, naturally, told him to shove that stick in his ass down his own throat. He may be spending a little too much time with Roman’s brother, if he was being honest with himself. Dee had only scoffed, rolling his eyes before letting Virgil leave the house to meet up with an eccentric blond.

That venture into the old, rusty amusement park was one of the best nights of Virgil’s life, if he didn’t count being almost crushed to death under an unsteady beam in one of the haunted houses. He and Roman had so much fun getting scared shitless by every creak and groan of the old rides. The funhouse mirrors had sent Virgil into laughing fits when every single one somehow only showed Roman as his normal self while he himself got the different appearances.

Thinking back on it, there was definitely a ghost fucking with them that entire adventure, but Virgil was having too much fun exchanging witty insults with Roman to really care. He’d had fun, and really wasn’t that something? Cause Virgil… Virgil didn’t have fun. He mildly enjoyed things while anxiety tickled the back of his mind, making him overthink every single action that was a result of him not thinking enough. The anxiety faded, the longer he knew the people he hung out with regularly, but it never really went away long enough for him to forget it was there until something that needed it happened.

Virgil was about to start thinking about how Roman managed to get him out from under the old rotting wood of a support beam before the haunted house got worse when Roman himself interrupted his thinking.

“Virgil. Vee. V-Man. Very Unimportant. Walking Existential Crisis. Vladimir--”

“Roman if you finish equating to me to the president of Russia, your face will no longer be as pretty as you think it is,” Virgil interrupted, his eyes finally focusing back on Roman’s expression. Which was filled with a confused concern.

Oh shit, did he space out?

“Well sorry, you stopped responding to me for a minute there, and your face went from all “Roman is a dumbass” smirk to some kind of mushy, gooey grin.”

Virgil scrunched up his nose in disgust at the comparison.

“Ew. Don’t ever call me mushy or gooey again, and I’ll let you live.”

Roman snorted, rolling his eyes at Virgil’s false disgust of all things soft.

Which, rude. Virgil had a reputation, he couldn’t just let himself be called mushy. What would his pretend fans think!

“I’d like to see you try and kill me, Very Short. You can’t even reach my shoulders without my assistance, you think you can aim for my heart from all the way down there?”

Virgil’s eyes narrowed while Roman’s grin widened, turning into a challenge.

There was exactly two beats of silence before Roman bolted for the door, Virgil chasing after him.

Virgil stops thinking about his feelings after that, stops thinking beyond strategy to capture Roman and somehow give him the biggest noogie of his life for daring to bring up Virgil’s height.

And it just kind of… continues. Virgil feels comfortable around Roman in a way he hadn’t before, despite Virgil never thinking he was ever uncomfortable around him prior to his revelation. Maybe it’s because he’s aware of the feelings now, and he recognizes his actions for what they are; pure, genuine affection and romantic attraction.

Over the next few weeks, Virgil can’t help but test the waters a little bit. He starts flirting back when Roman sends him some stupid pick up line he thinks is funny. Several times they’ve gone for hours, trying out-flirt each other and many times Virgil has won because Roman can’t let go of the overly ridiculous lines that focus on sex and Virgil is actually flirting so Roman eventually gets too flustered to continue.

Along with the flirting he gets… a lot more touchy. It’s not exactly subtle, nor is it obvious the touching is another result of his discovery, considering it’s really just Virgil letting himself rise to a lot of the bait Roman lays out for a playful fight. Patton definitely notices though, and the conversation that leads to is awkward at best, mortifying at worse.

And no, he doesn’t really feel like recounting that event in his memories.

It’s two days before his birthday when his brother and Roman’s brother trap him in Dee’s room with them to confront him.

“You know, you could’ve just asked to talk to me in private instead of hooking your arms around mine to drag me in here,” Virgil comments after flopping on his back on the carpeted floor beneath him. Dee and Remus had both taken advantage of their heights, and Virgil hadn’t really been able to keep his feet under him so when they let him go he’d fallen on his ass and who was he to pass up the opportunity to lay down?

“Yes, but that wasn’t nearly as much fun as dragging you in here like we were going to torture you for information!”

Virgil huffs a breath of air, trying to get his bangs out of his eyes enough so he could give Remus a curious look.

“Okay, and why are you torturing me for information?”

Dee cuts in, then. “Because you’re so open with us, Virgil.”

Virgil narrows his eyes in a glare at his older brother.

“You’re point, Monty the Python?”

Dee rolls his eyes at the nickname, crossing his arms.

“Our point, V-Section, is that you’re acting weird around my brother and he may not have noticed but we have,” Remus butts in with an irritated huff.

Virgil blinks, staring at his brother’s best friend for a solid thirty seconds before he speaks up.

“Was that… Did you just call me a C-Section but with the first letter of my name?” he asks, utterly bewildered. Usually Remus was a lot gorier or NSFW with his nicknames for others, and he didn’t usually relate their name back to it like Roman did.

“Did you really just totally ignore everything Remus said after that?” Dee asked, exasperated with the thing Virgil chose to focus on rather than the important part.

Virgil shrugged, shifting his feet so his knees were in the air and bringing his hands to rest on his stomach.

“I mean, yeah? It’s not like I’m really trying to keep my actions a secret, guys. Honestly, I’m surprised you didn’t say anything sooner? It’s been, what, two months since I actually started flirting with him?”

Dee blinks in surprise at Virgil’s admission.

“...That’s it? You’re not going to fight us on this?” he asks, skeptical of how easy Virgil was taking this. He was quite literally taking it lying down.

“Yeah? Why would I fight you on this?” Virgil asked, raising his torso up on his elbows to better stare at them in confusion.

Genuine confusion.

Jesus Christ.

“Probably because when you dated Chris and he criticized literally everything you did and liked you broke down after he dumped you and told everyone you wouldn’t let yourself interact with romance again?” Remus said, confused by Virgil’s confusion.

“Ah. That. Well, it’s whatever. In the past, literally years ago at this point. Why should I let it bother me now?”

“Who are you and what have you done with my brother?” Was Dee’s immediate response, panic that was almost genuine ringing clear through his words.

Sighing, Virgil flopped back onto the ground, ignoring the slight burning on his elbows from sliding them against the carpet. He stared at the ceiling for a moment, arms spread wide and knees knocking together as he thought (he’d been doing so much thinking lately).

“I know, not exactly something you’d expect me to say, as someone with generalized and social anxiety disorders. But… I don’t like Roman, the way I liked Chris. With Chris, things were fast but they felt kind of forced after a while. I mean yeah, it was fun making fun of people with him, but he didn’t exactly stop at other people, or even me. He criticized himself, and I felt a kinship in that, I guess. I felt like he’d relate to me on my worse nights. I dated him more because I thought he’d understand the feelings because he went through them too.”

Remus and Dee looked at each other as Virgil trailed off, obviously lost in thought. They let the silence go for a minute before Remus got impatient.

“Okay, then how is my brother different than Crucifixion?” he asked, impulsively grabbing one of Dee’s hands to play with his fingers see how long he could squeeze them together before he pulled his hand away.

Virgil still didn’t look at them, instead choosing to smile softly at the ceiling and wow, if that wasn’t a strange look to see on his brother.

“With Roman it’s like… it’s like coming home after a long day of bullshit. It’s a huge relief, I get to unwind from my stress by focusing on something else that I enjoy exponentially more than talking to other people. Instead of overly stressing about how someone reacted to this action, or what to say next to avoid pissing people off, I get to focus on just being in the moment and enjoying myself. It just… feels like home, loving him.”

“Well, slap my ass and call my Lucifer, cause hell must have just frozen over,” Remus says, making Virgil freeze as what he just said sinks in.

“Well. Guess that answers that question, then,” Dee comments, finally pulling his hand away when Remus scrunches his hand in a way that shoots pain through the back of it, making Remus grin at him.

Virgil makes a noise, but Dee can’t really identify what it is, now that Virgil has covered his face with his hands. Granted, that really does nothing to obscure the way his neck and ears have turned red, and if Dee guessed, his face was probably just as bad.

“Remus, I think we should let Virgil stew in his words by himself now.”

Remus perks at that. “Oh! Can we go to the creek? I think I saw a dead squirrel there yesterday and I wanna see how much it’s decomposed.”

Dee sighed, but nodded, turning away from his brother as his best friend bounded out of the room in excitement.

Virgil let out a groan as he listened to Dee and Remus leave, noting the lack of the door clicking shut. Guess it was left open then, probably to urge Virgil out of Dee’s room faster.

Well… he may as well accept that he just admitted Out Loud to his brother and friend that he was in love with Roman. Not like it was information he didn’t already know, he just… hadn’t really anticipated telling them it was something beyond a stupid crush.

With a heavy sigh, Virgil uncovered his face and made quick work of getting himself off the floor so he could actually go chill out in his room like he’d been planning to do before he was ambushed outside of the bathroom.

Honestly, Virgil really shouldn’t have expected Dee and Remus leaving him alone after his admission would mean they would just leave him alone about the topic altogether. Especially now that it was his birthday, and Roman was coming over in five minutes and Remus was giving him a wide unsettling grin.

Usually, that wouldn’t mean anything. Except it was paired with Dee’s self-satisfied smirk as he swung his keys around his finger to entertain himself while he waited.

Virgil glared at the two of them from his spot on the kitchen counter (he’s gay and has anxiety, you couldn’t pay him to sit properly on a chair. Or in a chair regardless).

“What are you two up to? I swear to God, if it’s a surprise party, I will skin you both,” Virgil hisses.

Remus goes to respond, fully prepared to get into a competition with Virgil on who can come up with more creative threats, but Roman bursts in at that exact second, and Virgil slinks off the counter to go meet him at the door, shooting Dee another harsh glare over his shoulder.

“I’m here, Charlotte’s Web!”

Virgil couldn’t help the small smile that formed at the classic nickname, shaking his head as he stopped in the doorway leading in and out of the kitchen.

“Hey, Caesar Salad,” Virgil greeted, shoving his hands in his hoodie pocket and forcing his smile into a more lopsided smirk as Roman looked up at him.

Roman paused for a second, staring at Virgil like he’d just seen something he hadn’t before, making Virgil quirk a brow in question. Instead of an explanation, Roman just cleared his throat and finished maneuvering a large brown paper bag through the gap between his leg and the doorframe.

“Whatcha got there?” he asked, stepping forward to help Roman out by grabbing the thing he wasn’t struggling with--his jacket.

Roman glared at Virgil, who only smirked in response before huffing as he managed to get the bag through without ripping it.

“You’re birthday present if you must know, Gerard Gay.”

Roman was rewarded with a snort as Virgil turned back into the kitchen, gesturing for Roman to follow with a wave of his hand.

Entering the kitchen, Roman let out a long groan.

“Remus, what are you and Rumplesnakeskin doing here?”

“I live here, Roman,” Dee responded before Remus could, rolling his eyes.

“Yes, but you’re never here when I’m here, and if you are, you always make a quick getaway. You’re up to something, Jafaar, and I don’t like it.”

Virgil couldn’t help but agree with Roman, going back to glaring at the two as he hopped back up on the counter to get comfortable.

“Plus, you both have been giving me your evil plotting smiles all morning.”

Roman shuttered. “Oh yeah, something’s definitely up. Spit it out Dr. Gloom and William Snakespere. What foul deeds are you planning today?”

Remus snorts at that, pulling a recorder out of his pocket. One of those old handheld ones you see in movies when the main character needs proof of something that was said. Something he must have gotten from Logan.

Something he probably had two days ago.

Virgil froze, eyes zeroing in on the recorder. The next thing he knew, he was launching himself off the counter in Remus’ direction, reaching for the device in hopes of either grabbing it or making Remus drop it so it’d break on the ground.

Neither of those things happened, considering Remus seemed to anticipate Virgil’s reaction as he gave a gleeful squeal, leaping onto the table and holding the recorder high above his head, out of Virgil’s reach.

Virgil had no qualms getting on the table, but before he could, Dee stopped him.

“Virgil, that table can only handle so much weight, do you really want to incur both of our moms’ wrath by breaking the table when we’re only visiting?”

Roman watched as Virgil was clearly panicking at the fact that Remus had a recorder in his hand, gaze switching between Remus and Dee and Virgil as he tried to figure out what was going on.

“I don’t know what’s going on here, other than the fact you guys have recorded something Virgil clearly doesn’t want me to hear, but I’d honestly really rather you didn’t force him into sharing something he’s not ready to share yet,” Roman said, crossing his arms after dropping the bag on the floor.

Remus let out a loud whine at that. “C’mon, Roman! I thought you’d be curious to know what we’ve found out.”

Roman shrugged at that, looking to Virgil, who was currently staring at him with wide eyes. He met the look with a small smile.

“Yeah, of course I’m curious. You guys know I hate being left out of the loop, but Virgil doesn’t want me to know right now. That doesn’t necessarily mean he’ll never want me to know. And even if it does, I’ll respect that. My curiosity is not an excuse to betray his trust like that.”

“I love you.”

Roman blinked in shock at the words that suddenly left Virgil’s mouth, and if the surprise on Virgil’s face was anything to go by, Virgil hadn’t expected to say them either.

Silence filled the kitchen for a few minutes before Remus let out a resigned sigh.

“Well that just took all the fun out of this. Dee let’s go to the park so I can scare some kids.”

Dee shook his head at his best friend as he hopped off the table.

“We’re not scaring children again, Rem. The last time we nearly got kicked out of the park for good, and I know that one is your favorite for corpse hunting.”

Dee’s words trailed off until the door closed behind the two friends as Roman and Virgil continued to stare at each other.

“...I love you too.”

Virgil’s face immediately lit on fire, and he let out an embarrassed sound, but didn’t move from his spot leaning against the table, knee halfway on top of it from when Dee had stopped him.

Roman couldn’t help but laugh, shaking his head.

“Was that what Remus wanted me to hear?” he asked, shifting to sit on a counter (a habit he gained from Virgil, though he was more prone to sitting in actual chairs, he sat on whatever surface was closest to him).

Virgil finally shifted his leg off the table, clearing his throat as he collapsed onto the floor, legs spread out before him while he leaned back on his hands.

“...Yeah. Yeah it was. Though the recording probably had a lot more embarrassing stuff on it, I doubt they only recorded the last bit of that conversation.”

Roman nodded, tapping his fingers against the hard surface of the counter.

“To be completely honest, I had my suspicions when you started flirting back? But I didn’t really want to say anything in case you stopped, or I was wrong.”

Virgil groaned, letting his head fall back so he could stare at the ceiling.

“Yeah, that started like a week after I figured it out. Remember when you called me mushy and gooey and I threatened your weak life form?”

Roman snorted. “Yeah, I remember. And excuse you, you’re the one with a weak life form Virgil.”

Virgil squinted at Roman then. “Roman. You’re allergic to cats. And chili peppers.”

“You’re lactose intolerant!” Roman protested, earning a smirk.

“Yeah? Do you see me avoiding dairy, Roman? I have chugged an entire gallon of milk, Princey. You really think something as stupid as milk inolerance is going to stop me?”

The bickering continued, them not really acknowledging their feelings beyond the initial declarations of love.

Which was fine with Virgil. They didn’t need to label anything just yet, and it’s not like Virgil was really into physical affection beyond cuddling anyway, so nothing really would change between them, label or not.

And if they held hands more often, or teased each other with pet names they didn’t dare do before, then that was really nobody’s business, was it?

#jo writes #sanders sides #ts virgil #ts roman #ts deceit #ts remus #prinxiety #remus typical creativity #friendly bullying #and by that i mean virgil and roman make fun of each other a whole lot #empty death threats #short jokes #there's definitely a ghost in this #and the ghost is definitely joan #but like it's so brief

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ruthoakenshield · 3 years

Text

The Lady in the Black Leather (Ch 25)

Previous chapter catch up: [Chapter 24]

Scarlett and you dig through the clothes she brought for you. The nurse shows her how you can bathe in the bathroom area by sitting on the shower bench, and she helps you to the bench so you can get freshened up. She wraps your injured thigh with cellophane wrap tight enough to keep water out of the bullet wound, but not so tight it is uncomfortable or cuts off circulation.

You end up having a sponge bath since you can’t really stand to shower, and Scarlett washes your hair and helps you rinse it out. You hand her the hair oil and she applies it to your hair and combs it out while you sit on the shower bench.

“I never realized how much a bullet through the leg hurts. It’s SO uncomfortable to sit on anything with this damn hole in my leg!” you complain.

She just chuckles. “Well at least it’s in a place that didn’t have any major organs! Rich said Ben had the gun pointed at your chest!” she said.

You nod.

“I hope this doesn’t affect how I’m going to walk.” You reply. “I don’t get how he was able to shoot my thigh, though without hitting Rich!” you say, puzzled.

“Just chalk it up to a lucky shot, Sweetheart. Rich is incredibly lucky it didn’t hit him! Especially since your ex had the gun pointed at your chest. It would have really caused problems for Rich and the movie producers, since he is going to be so busy for the next few months with the movie promos and red carpets!” She reminds you. “Just thank your lucky stars it was ‘just a minor flesh wound!” and that you’re ‘not dead yet!” she teases, knowing how you both like Monty Python.

You giggle. Then say, “I know, Scarlett, but I hate just sitting around here! You know me! I’ve spent the last three months just sitting around doing nothing! And Rich and I were finally getting closer physically and emotionally! I finally felt comfortable letting him cuddle me and kiss me, and touch me more! Now we can’t cuz of the stupid monitors!!!!” you grumble.

Scarlett chuckles, “Hon, another week isn’t gonna kill ya nor your relationship!” she smirks. “So have ya gotten laid by him yet?” she asks with an evil grin.

You smack her. “None of your business!” you say and stick out your tongue.

Scarlett giggles… “Well?”

“I’m not at liberty to discuss my relationship with anyone but my Dr. and my Boyfriend.” You reply with a knowing smirk. “My boyfriend is a very private person and doesn’t like it when people get nosey about his love life.” You say with a satisfied grin.

“What?!?!” Scarlett teases. “We ALWAYS talk about our love lives and compare and swap notes!” she pouts. “Can you at least tell me if he’s a good kisser?” she asks.

You grin & nod.

She smirks. “So, what’s this ‘ice hockey’ I keep hearing Martin and Amanda talking about?” She asks.

You spend the next few minutes explaining it to her and how you and Rich came up with it. You laugh and tell her he wanted to call it, ‘pass the ice’ but you thought ‘ice hockey’ sounded better.

Scarlett laughed. “OOOOoooohhh now I’m gonna have to try that with Aiden! You should’ve seen how horny he was after we got home from the club the night we did the Pretty Woman and Abba dances! Oh my gosh!!! He fucked me all night long! I could hardly walk straight the next day!!!” she exclaimed. “He’s got the stamina of a stallion!” she giggles. “And his kisses are to die for!” she squeals with glee.

“Soooo, a much better lover than Sam was???” you tease.

“Uhhh, Duhhhh!” she replies smacking your head teasingly.

You just smile and smirk, thinking to yourself, “If you only knew what Richard’s kisses are like and how he not only has the stamina of a stallion, but is hung like one too!”

You are snapped back into reality when Scarlett pokes you, “Are you even listening to me?” she asks.

“Hmmm?” you say, “Sorry, was lost in thought dreaming about my handsome man’s kisses.” You reply, grinning.

Scarlett rolls her eyes. “I said, we need to get you back up and dressed. Shall I go get the nurse and see if she can find you a clean pair of shorts?” Scarlett asks.

You nod. “And see if they have a size smaller than what she gave me, those were WAY too big and baggy for me!” you tell her.

Scarlett nods and hands you a bath towel to wrap up in.

She goes to get the nurse, who comes back in with a pair of hospital shorts for you. She helps you into them and you stand on your good leg and hike them up the rest of the way. Happy they fit you better. You sit back down on the bench once Scarlett dries it off with the towel and the nurse helps you get a top on that Scarlett chose for you. The nurse helps you back to your bed, and you sit on the edge as the nurse hooks up your ports to the IV machines again. Then unwraps the cellophane from your leg and re-bandages your wounds. Then she helps you sit back down on the bed and leaves you to do what you like.

You scoot back onto the bed and decide to just braid your hair in two braids and let them hang down over your shoulders.

You had just texted Graham when you hear a knock at the door. You pull out your ylang ylang perfume bottle and put a dab on by your ears and on your wrists and one on your collar bone junction. You rub it into your skin and then nod at Scarlett to let the person in. You set your bag down on the floor by the bed out of the way.

You grin when you see your Honey come walking in with a bouquet of brightly colored red carnations, yellow daisies as well as purple monte casino and green button poms in a vase with colored ribbons around it and a “get well soon” mini balloon on a sick poking out the top of the bouquet, and a stuffed black dog parked in his arm.

Giggling, you say, “You already got me flowers!” and he chuckles as he sets them down on your table and gives you a kiss, and groans at how good you smell. He hands you the black stuffed dog and you grin seeing it has an “I love you” shirt on it.

“These are from the director of my movie. When he heard what had happened, we decided to film as much as we could on Friday and Saturday, so I can have tomorrow and Monday off. He felt bad not being able to give me more time off and so he sent the flowers with me to give to you.” Rich explained.

“And the stuffed dog?” you ask.

He grins. “I saw it in the gift shop on my way in and couldn’t resist. It reminded me of the pic you sent me with me and Phantom giving you the same look.” He grinned.

You chuckled as he sat down next to you on the bed. You scooted over more so he could have enough room to sit and be comfortable. He snuggled next to you and Scarlett giggled and rolled her eyes. “Someone missed you today!” she teased you.

Richard just grinned and peppered you with kisses. “You smell divine, my Love.” He whispered in your ear as he nibbled it. Ignoring the beeping heart monitor as your pulse increased.

“Romeo, you better reign it in or the nurses will be in here scolding you if you don’t.” Scarlett warned. Rich just smirked and stuck his tongue out at her.

She just chuckled, “Oh, that’s real mature, there big guy!” she giggled. Rich just looks at her and raises an eyebrow and gives her just a hint of a smirk.

“I know that look! You did it enough on Robin Hood! And No, they won’t let you get away with it.” She replies giggling.

Richard gives her a grin and goes back to peppering your face with kisses, making you giggle. He doesn’t stop till he hears Graham and Aiden coming up the hallway talking. Then he finally calms himself down and cuddles you in his arms and you enjoy leaning against his chest and having his arms around you.

“I missed you today too.” You whisper as you give him a peck on his cheek. He grins and looks down at you just as Graham and Aiden come in with Phantom.

Graham looks up and sees him sitting on the bed with you and says, “Hey! Where’s supper?”

Rich chuckles. “It’ll be here soon. I ordered it on my way here and told them to deliver it here.”

All of a sudden there’s a knock at the door and Phantom “wuffs” and goes to the door sniffing.

“I bet that’s supper. Phantom, come here.” Aiden says as he makes the hand motion for ‘come’.

Scarlett goes and opens the door and a young man gives her the food and a hand full of fortune cookies. She thanks him and hands him some cash for a tip.

She brings the food in and sets it all out on the table. Everyone’s mouths are watering seeing all the Chinese food Rich ordered. The scent of sweet and sour chicken, beef and broccoli, and other such goodness fills the room.

Aiden goes to the Cafeteria and grabs paper plates and plastic silverware and napkins and stuff for everyone to drink.

He comes in and they have the food all open and ready to go. (The nurses provided them with plastic serving utensils from the break room.) He hands out the plates and napkins and plastic silverware so they can dish up what they want.

You giggle and happily scoop up the beef and broccoli and Richard cringes when you dig for the big pieces of broccoli. “You like broccoli?” he asks.

You nod, and pop a big piece in your mouth with the chopsticks, then grin. He shakes his head and says, “Well, more for you then.”

You and Scarlett grin and dig into the beef and Broccoli, making everyone else chuckle. “Why did you buy it if no one else likes it?” you ask him after realizing no one else wanted any.

He chuckled. “Aiden said you and Scarlett liked it, so I got it for you two.”

Scarlett looks at Aiden and then at Rich and then at you. “Awwwww, I love our men!” she says and gives Aiden a big kiss. Making everyone laugh.

“I’ll let Harley give you your kiss.” She tells Rich. Making him laugh.

You giggle and go to kiss him, and he grins. “You can kiss me later, Love, when you don’t taste like broccoli!” he teases. You give him a mocking glare and punch his shoulder. Making Graham laugh.

He tosses you a fortune cookie and then tosses Richard his. Graham grabs one and so does Aiden and Scarlett. Leaving two extras on the table.

They all laugh when they open and read them.

Aiden’s says, “The fortune you seek is in another cookie.” He grabs another cookie and opens it, it’s fortune says, “Ignore previous cookie.” Which makes everyone crack up laughing and Aiden pouts. “I didn’t get a fortune!”

Scarlett just pats his shoulder. “You got me, sweetie, that’s all the good fortune you need!”

He grins and nods.

Graham cracks his open and it says, “Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.” He laughs and nods, “Well they got that one right!” and everyone laughs.

Scarlett cracks hers open and says, “Hey! I got TWO fortunes!!!!” one says ‘Remember three months from this date. Good things are in store for you.’ And the other says, ‘Good clothes open many doors. Go shopping!’

Of course, everyone looks at you and Scarlett and they all crack up laughing. Knowing that your shopping excursion with her lead to all them meeting you two!

Richard’s says, “You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.” He grins and looks at you and kisses the top of your head. “See, even fortune cookies get it right occasionally!” you giggle & roll your eyes.

And Graham tosses you a second cookie. “You get the extra one since Scarlett got two fortunes in hers.”

You open yours and laugh cuz your first cookie has two fortunes in it. They say, “Someone truly loves you out there.” And “You or a close friend will be married within the year.” Which makes you blush a bright red. Of course, everyone wants to see what fortunes you got. They all laugh and tease you and Richard, but you point out it could be Aiden & Scarlett too!

Richard just grins a huge grin and hugs you. “Open up the other one, Sweetheart.” He says to you.

You look up and say, “I don’t know if I want to now.” he chuckles and hands it to you.

You crack it open and read the fortune. It says, “Don’t be afraid to take the next big step.” You groan, face palm and hand it to Richard, who cracks up laughing and hands it to Scarlett, who reads it, laughs and passes it to Aiden, who giggles and then passes it to Graham. Graham cracks up too and pats your shoulder. “I seem to detect a theme here, Sweetheart!”

You just groan. And bury your face in Rich’s chest. Making him chuckle. “You never know….” He teases, making you groan even more.

He pats your side and kisses your head again.

We’re just teasin’ ya lass.” Grahan tells you.

You nod and peek out from Rich’s side. Then you remember something your Mom once told you, which you remind him of when you say teasingly, “You do know that the Father of the bride gets to pay for the entire wedding, right… and now ya got THREE girls!” you remind him with a smug grin.

“Oh good Lord, I’m gonna be working till I die!” he replies teasingly and rolls his eyes, flopping back into the chair pretending to die.

Aiden laughs, “You asked for it Pops, teasin’ her like that!” he says with a huge grin. Graham chuckles and sits up.

“Are we all done eating?” he asks. Everyone nods. “I’m full.” You hear from everyone.

Graham gets up and picks up the untouched leftovers. “What do ya say if we go see if the nurses want some of this?” he asks Richard.

Rich nods and he grabs some of the leftovers and Aiden grabs the rest. They head out to the nurse’s station with the paper plates and napkins and ask them if they’d like the leftovers. The nurses are almost speechless that the three movie stars would share their food with them. They nod and thank them, putting it in the fridge for their breaks.

While the guys are off giving leftovers to the nurses, you and Scarlett are cracking up at the fortunes you got. “You better keep those, and I’ll keep mine. We’ll get a good laugh out of them if they actually come true! Here, write the date on the back of them so we know when we got them!” she tells you and hands you a pen from the counter.

You write the dates on the back of them and she hands you your messenger bag. You put them in your wallet, and she puts her fortunes in her wallet.

You both are giggling about them still when the guys come back in.

“Are you two still giggling about the fortunes?” Graham asks.

Scarlett nods. Giggling again.

Graham chuckles. “How about we play that new game ye brought?” he says to Aiden.

Aiden grabs it off the counter and he starts to hand out the cards for the game.

You five spend the evening laughing yourselves silly and playing the game. You stopped after a while though so that someone could take Phantom out to go do his business when he started whining and dancing around by the door. Aiden decided to take him outside with Scarlett for a break.

Rich took the opportunity to ask the two of you how the meeting went with the lawyer. You told him it went fine and that she got what she needed and said you could do the meeting tomorrow with the judge via Skype (He’s old school). She said she would be at the actual hearing in case the judge needed to discuss anything with her.

Graham nodded.

Rich could tell there was more Graham wanted to say, but didn’t. Rich figured that Graham didn’t want to say it in front of you for some reason. He looked at the time and saw it was close to 10pm. He tells you, “Honey, do you know if the hospital has specific times for visiting?”

You shake your head, no.

He stands, “I’d better go check to see if they have specific times. I don’t want to upset anyone if we are here too long.” He tells you. “I’ll be right back.” He says and heads for the door.

“You want some more water, Sweetheart?” Graham asks when you go to drink your water and find your cup empty. You shake it and feel a few ice cubes in it. You pop open the lid and grab one out, then nod and hand it to Graham.

“Could you see if they can put more ice in it too?” you ask.

He grins and nods. “Be right back, Sweetheart.” He tells you and heads out.

Stay tuned, more chapters to follow!!!

If you wish to be added / deleted from the tag list let me know :

Tagging: @fizzyxcustard @thorinthehottytotty @dumbassunderthemountain@deepestfirefun @thetherianthropydaily @daisy-picking-lady @spookybunny-blog @dabisburntnut @emrfangirl @midnight-reader-morning-sleeper @hilary456 @criminaly-supernatural @asraime @saviorsongwrites @mary-ann84 @thecavillchronicles @dancingwendigo @henrythickcavill @chamomilebottom @iloveyouyen @wolvesandhoundshowltogether @madbaddic7ed

#richard armitage #reader x richard armitage #Graham McTavish #Scarlett #Aiden Turner #Phantom #chinese food #fortune cookies #visiting #fluff #teasing #Apples to Apples game #the lady in the black leather #hospitalized #bullet to leg

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thefloatingstone · 4 years

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Last time I made a playlist of recommended youtube channels to enjoy while in lockdown or self quarantine, I focused on individual videos while also recommending other videos from the same channel.

I thought I’d make another list only this time I’m going to be recommending playlists or series on youtuber instead of just individual videos.

This is gonna go exactly like last time, so check out any of these that might seem interesting to you, and hopefully I can give you something to look into if you want something to watch but don’t feel like watching a Netflix or Crunchyroll show.

Last time I tried to put this under a read more break but it didn’t work and I ended up posting this long-ass post on everyone’s dash. Well I decided to do so again here. hit J to skip to the bottom of the post if you don’t feel like reading this whole thing. If you’re on tumblr mobile; why?

In no particular order;

Cinemassacre movie reviews and topics

All of you already know James Rolfe as the AVGN. I started watching him before Youtube was even a thing, before he was even signed on with Screwattack. Back when his videos could only be seen on his own website (or for some reason included on the free DVD you got with the local video game magazines). However, I eventually outgrew the outrage style humour of the AVGN episodes... but then James started doing Monster Madness where he would talk about his love for horror movies, and this where I learned about his vast knowledge about movie history and even films I had never even heard mention of before! I think it’s safe to say, he got me to be interested in movie history just as much as movie production and film as a viewing experience.

I recommend this playlist which is a hodgepodge of James talking about old horror movie franchises, talking about his first experience with Power Rangers as someone who didn’t grow up with it, or how Bob Ross is a childhood hero of his. It’s an excellent play list that’s really laid back but you learn a lot of stuff from it. James is very informed for the most part and it leads you to wanting to check out a lot of these things too, just because he’s so passionate about it.

If I ever get over my weird hang up about speaking out loud, these are the kinds of videos I’d like to make.

Vinesauce Vinny: The Neverhood

Vinny is by no means a new Let’s Player, having been on Youtube for over 10 years now, but I only started watching him a few months ago. I started with this playlist when I saw he was doing The Neverhood, a game I had heard about but never seen played before. The Neverhood is a bizarre game, as a point and click PC game from the 90s where the entirety of the video game was made with stop motion and clay. Something that sounds so insane you would say it’s impossible if not for the fact that it exists. The claymation itself is extremely well done, and the game has a really weird and absurd sense of humour. Just the strangest things happen in this thing. Now couple that with Vinny’s very dry and straightforward delivery and you have probably one of the funniest Let’s Plays I’ve watched in a long time.

This is also “short” for a Let’s Play series. With only 4 parts to it, the longest video only being a bit under and hour and 30 minutes. It’ll still take up a good chunk of your time, but it’s not as daunting as some of the other Let’s Plays I’ll mention on this list.

Team Four Star: Pokemon Shield Nuzlocke

Exactly what it says on the tin. The guys from Team Four Star play Pokemon Shield with Nuzlocke rules. They’ve done several Nuzlocke runs in the past, but I find the Pokemon Shield is the best one they’ve done. Especially since a lot of the needless fluff and grinding has been edited out. So unlike some of their previous series you don’t see a lot of Kieran and Grant running in a circle for an hour trying to catch a specific pokemon or trying to get to a certain level.

It’s also hilarious as they have a lot of “house rules” for the Nuzlocke often involving the exercise bike they.... have..... for some reason.

It’s very good and the gym battles become SUPER hype with the Nuzlocke rules and the music.

Baywatching

Having been going to a few years now, watch Allison try her very best to go through and do a video series where she talks about summarises every episode of Baywatch.

.... Ever. Single. Episode.

She’s not even close to done yet (and now she’s introduced Baywatch Nights AS WELL) but her trying to explain the batshit insanity of this show, it’s over the top characters, it’s insane plots and behind the scenes weirdness with all the enthusiasm and love for this slice of 90s is amazing. Please enjoy a good thick chunk of inside jokes, silly character voices, and a whole lot of ?????

Brutal Moose: Shenmue

Probably one of the most chill channels on all of Youtube, Brutal Moose aka Ian, prefers playing games you wouldn’t think would make for good Let’s Plays. And maybe they don’t, objectively. A collection of playlists covering Truck Simulator, Nancy Drew, Hidden Object games etc etc, spliced in with old commercials from drive in theaters from the 50s,60s and 70s. Ian’s Let’s Play channel is great for just putting on and letting play for company while you’re drawing or grinding in a video game or playing Stardew or something.

I recommend his Shenmue playthrough as Ian completely fell in love with the game and went on to play both the sequel and the newly released third game. Ian genuinely adores the weird voice acting and all the menial tasks and mini-games you can do. I watched this a lot in 2018 when I was going through a rough time, and it really helped me in a strange way to just put Ian on and listen to him talk to the chat and drive a forklift around for like 4 hours straight before going to Tomato Mart or wasting all his money on the gacha machines.

A Measured Response to “In Defense of Dark Souls 2″

At some point, big name youtuber Hbomberguy made a video called “In Defense of Dark Souls II”. I’m not subscribed to Hbomberguy but I enjoyed his video on why Sherlock (the BBC show) is trash. (come to think of it I should have added that to the first list). And it seems the video on Sherlock was really good and well argued.... and it seems his “In Defense of Dark Souls 2″ video... was not.

Using subjective language, bad representation of facts, or simply outright getting certain information wrong, Hbomberguy′s video on Dark Souls II is, at best, a man trying to argue that he likes Dark Souls II because it is “Objectively good”, rather than simply accept he likes it... because he likes it.

MauLer is kind of an asshole, but I have learned more about dissecting someone’s argument and deconstructing what they have said watching his response series than I have in any english or debate class I have ever had.

The response is over 10 hours long, but this is because MauLer takes time with each and every statement he takes umbrage with, discussing what is being said, discusses why it is false or dubious, and then compares with actual facts and research.

If you ever want to know how to to distinguish subjective opinion from objective fact in someone else’s argument regarding... ANYTHING really, I highly recommend this series.

I may not like MauLer as a person, but DAMN if he doesn’t know how to deconstruct an argument in a logic, emotionless way.

John Wolfe: Maize

Maize is a stupid game. a Stupid stupid game.

It involves sentient corn, and underground secret genetics lab, a Russian bootleg teddy bear that hates everyone, sentient corn, and a crumpet.

This game IMMEDIATELY went on my wishlist after watching this playthrough. Please watch John try and figure what the actual fuck is going on in this Monty Python-eque weird black comedy. It’s stupid, it’s weird, it’s bizarre and it’s honestly one of the funniest games I’ve seen streamed.

Hollywood: a Celebration of the Silent Era

This is not a youtube playlist. I mean it IS, but what this actually is, is a TV series released in the UK in 1980 covering the Silent Film era. As it was made in 1980, it includes interviews with many of the silent film stars who were often still alive during this documentary’s production. Each episode covers a specific theme of the silent movie era. One episode is about comedies, one is about WWI, one is about Westerns etc etc.

It’s a fascinating series, because it focuses on the silent era which, in modern day, I think many people unfairly think of as “those first few years of movies before movies really became a thing.” And that’s such a shame and really not true. The artistry, camera tricks, and raw nature of this early era of film making is so important and produced films which can still be watched today easily, possibly even easier than a few modern movies as often the very fact that the films are silent means they are universal, regardless of what language you speak.

I think an episode or two might have been turned to private or copyright claimed in this playlist, but I know if you do a search on youtube you can find the episode uploaded by someone else.

Diamanda Hagan: Bonekickers

Bonekickers is the show Mathew Graham made before he went on to work on the new Dr. Who. It is about archaeologists and it is God-fucking-Awful.

It is.... look. Ok. I like Archaeology a lot. But this isn’t a show that’s bad “if you like history” or “if you know things about archaeology”. This show is bad because it doesn’t make a single fucking lick of sense, all the characters are awful and terrible, and even if you understand what’s going on in the story you’re still going to be screaming “WHY????” at the screen as each new baffling stupid piece of the puzzle slots into place.

Diamanda Hagan has 0 time for this garbage and she’s going to walk you through each episode to show you how truly horrible this piece of garbage is.

Cry Plays: Ori and the Blind Forest

With Ori and the Will of the Wisps releasing recently, now is a great time to go and watch Cry playthrough the first Ori game. an absolutely gorgeous piece of work with a beautiful soundtrack and really likeable character designs and a sweet story, Ori is a great game to put on, sit back, and just let it wash over you. Cry’s playthrough is also great because although its a Metroidvania game, Cry fast forwards the parts where he backtracks for a long period of time, so you don’t get stuck watching him run back and forth as he tries to figure out where to go next or anything like that.

Cry also recently started playing the sequel as well!

If you enjoyed this list at all, please consider tipping me for a coffee

☕️ Ko-fi ☕️

#self isolation #Quarantine #Youtube #Links #Recommendations #Recommended #ask to tag #long post #No editing we die like men

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mindwideopen · 3 years

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Disclaimer: anyone embarrassed of my cleavage, please bypass this post. Thank you. (Again, repeat this disclaimer out loud, and say it like Steve Martin being his insane yet loving character “ruprecht” in “dirty rotten scoundrels”)

Faux Monty python auditions:

Disclaimer 2: NOT based in reality, because the actual members of Monty python are gentlemen, and are kind. No character assassination intended. My intention for writing this is harmless satire because of my admiration for their group. And, the fact that as women, they are prettier than I am.

(Lights up on a very large board room with a very long table. All of the members of Monty python are sitting in a row, facing Kari.)

Kari: hey! Nice to meet you all! (Shakes their hands) you guys are fantastic! I’m so happy to get the opportunity to audition for you, and be considered for your group.

Monty python: nice to make your acquaintance. (Whispers amongst themselves at the long board table they’re sitting at, evaluating Kari) who is she?! A bird. What kind of bird? I don’t know... let’s analyze... pull up her headshot. A “headshot” is a picture for you people who don’t know what a head shot is. We don’t mean an actual gun shot to the head.

(To Kari) Ok. Let’s...

Kari: let’s what?

Monty python: look at your portfolio of character work.

Kari: I write, mostly, but these are silly pictures of me for fun.

Monty python: we love fun. Quite.

Kari: we have that in common then!

Monty python: quite.

Monty python: no. Ok. You are not a bird. This is not you, is it? No, it can’t be. You are a cat woman. Unusual.

Kari: oh, that’s a filter on Snapchat.

Monty python characters: Snapchat? What’s that?

Kari: it’s an app that makes you into different creatures.

Monty python: what’s an app? Our show is based primarily in the 1970s we think, we have to look it up to be reminded, and haven’t the foggiest idea what you’re talking about. Well, regardless, let’s all pull up a better picture of you, since you are not really a cat. We’re quite sure, yes, quite, that you are a human being, although not sure, so no. Next slide, please! (We’re British, so we’re polite about our requests...)

Monty python: ok, no. In this one, you are a shocked and lacey, bear creature. Are you a biological man?

Kari: no.

Monty python: one of the criteria of joining our group is that you are a man.

Kari: well, I’m not. See the next slide.

Monty python: please discuss something amongst yourself while we confer about you, in front of you.

Kari: ok. (Kari starts talking about ray rayner, and chelveston the duck to herself...)

Monty python: well, we’re not sure why she’s here if she’s not a man. We play all the women in our sketches. Um, also, we hate to bring this up and look naive, but is she writing us? We don’t know. Some of us aren’t even alive, so it’s hard to determine what’s happening in this case, as we’re all speaking the same words at the same time. If she is writing us this is highly irregular, which is a state that we’re used to being in. The words keep coming. Yes, but she never differentiates the difference between one of us, and all... so we sound like a men’s spoken word chorus. Do those exist? They do now, we are it. Who is this insane woman? God only knows...

God: no, I don’t.

Kari: well, I’m done with my conversation with myself, are you guys done as well?

Monty python characters: yes. Quite. ok, well, next slide pleeeeease.

Monty python: oh my.... yes. Not a man. Ahem. Yes. Clearly. Right. Kari, would you please excuse us again, as we need to confab about you yet again.

Kari: ok. (Kari discusses her love of Kurt Russell and Goldie yawn amongst herself. Both national treasures, both not in the movie, “national treasury, or whatever it’s called...)

Monty python: all in favor of her being in our group, say we! Wait! Before we vote, oh. My... (they Hub hub hub hub peas and carrots. Please say the hub hubs and the peas and carrots like all of the characters in the movie “waiting for guffman”.)

Monty python: Kari, We need a moment to discuss you.

Kari: do you want to discuss me, with me?

Terry Gilliam: yes! Absolutely eventually at some point not now no yes. But we need some privacy at this time.

Kari: ok. I need to take a shit. I’ll be back.

(Monty python all sit and analyze this photo. 4 hours later)

Monty python: yes. Quite. ok! Next slide, please.

John Cleese: um, I’m not done. You all proceed. I’ll hang back a bit, because she looks like she could get rough. I will protect us... because she’s evil... I hope.

The rest of Monty python: very well, next slide, please.

Monty python sans the John Cleese cause he went off to shoot his cameo in the “great muppet caper” 40 years ago...: jooooohhhhnnnnn..... she is evil....

John Cleese: on it! (Mumbling to himself but half to us, the reader, which is me only, cause I write for my own amusement) But not, because she’s married and I think I am but I’m not sure, cause she’s writing this, and unaware of my marital status...) I will call, the only ghostbuster she isn’t pissed at right now because he’s dead... and doesn’t ignore her insane writing because he’s unaware or aware that she writes... oh Egon....

Egon Spangler (as portrayed back in the 80s, by Harold Ramis, or, as Kari lovingly refers to him, Hamis.): yes, this is a classic class F case of a “she be piiiiiiiissed” poltergeist, fairly common around these parts as of late, shouldn’t be an issue. I accept rubies (not to be confused with a ruby gem stone) and zorks currency as payment. Payment due up front.

John Cleese: (yelling) well I don’t have a ruby or a zork on me?!? What do you think I am?! The queen or something?!

Queen the band: definitely not.

John Cleese: (yelling and flailing his arms around like Kermit the frog because he idolizes him, and just worked with him, in the great muppet caper, so he’s heavily influenced by his dynamic personality) see?!?! Now how are we supposed to exercise her?!? She’s the devil! She writes insane things not unlike us, but we’re fine because we’re men that dress like women, and that is socially acceptable, but a woman who acts like a man, is not! And she sometimes acts like a black man, and that is doubly not acceptable, not in a way that cancels itself out, but in a way that emphasizes my point profoundly. She MUST be exercised!

Richard Pryor: have you tried walking her around the block after meals?

John Cleese: (still yelling per the ush) what the hell are you talking about??!? Walk her around the block after meals?! I couldn’t get a harness around her if I tried! She’s writing me flailing around like Kermit the frog! The woman must be stopped!!!!!!

Richard Pryor: just a suggestion. You need to relax, Jack, ok? Cause you’re more than a little uptight.

George Carlin: British.

Richard Pryor: ok. Got it.

Carlin: and isn’t it, exorcised?

Richard Pryor: not as funny.

Carlin: ok. got it.

Eric idle, who stands idle to the fact that his last name is also “idol” when said, and also leaves too many questions like others who suffer with the same affliction have... which idol are we discussing? The sun god, Rah? The sacred cow? American?

Eric idle character: oh god.... scene...

God: I love Kari, I do, because she believes I love everyone, so yes, scene is fine.

John Cleese character: yes! Quite.

Egon Spangler: 70 zorks, please. No personal checks.

Svengoolie (not his son, just him): yes. No.... personal.... checks.....

(Kari walks into an empty conference room)

Kari: um, hey guys? Anyone here? Oh well, I feel better now that I’ve pooped!

(Monty python jump out from underneath the long board table)

Monty python: Boo!

Kari: oh! You startled me! Good thing I just pooped!

Monty python: yes, quite. So, here’s the thing; we’ve reviewed your portfolio and you’re brilliant with the exception of a few things.

Kari: what’s that?

Monty python: well, the first thing is that you’re a woman.

Kari: yes, I am. I saw proof of that in the bathroom.

Monty python: ah, yes. The second thing is that according to Wikipedia, a website we have never heard of at the point in which we were in the first picture, let alone the fact that the internet as we know it was not conceived yet either, and all we had were encyclopedia brittanicas, our show ran from 1969–1983, 1989, 1998–1999, 2002, 2013–2014. All years past. You were born, when?

Kari: 1974.

Monty python: ok, now see? We were in full swing at that point in time. You were a bit too, not available for us, and also too much of a woman for us all, and that’s great! Because you’re way more intelligent than we imagined, we can tell by your pictures, and truth be told, we’re more than a little afraid of you, because you write for us, even though some of us have ceased to exist on this celestial plane. And although we enjoyed our time chatting, we are going to have to take a pass.

Kari: that’s ok! It was nice watching you chat about me a bit while I talked to myself. I’m going to get a soy pumpkin spice latte now from Starbucks. Care to join me?

Monty python: no, thank you. As Starbucks isn’t invented, and neither were pumpkin spice lattes.

Kari: ok! Maybe in 2020 after the Covid shit subsides a bit.

Monty python: yes. Quite.

Scene, scene... (whisper this one) scene.

The aforementioned scene was not real, nor was it endorsed by the real Terry Gilliam, Michael Palin, Eric Idle and John Cleese. But, I think terry jones and graham Chapman (who is a chap, and a man, making him a double man, which is very manly indeed, loves me, Kari Keillor, for who I am. Not egoic, but loves herself enough to write still, even its for her own pleasure, and to herself. ❤️)

#monty python #funny #mind wide open #kari keillor #self reflection #i get by with a little help from my friends

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tessatechaitea · 4 years

Text

Cerebus #16 (1980)

Cerebus is going up the stairs while Lord Julius is going down them. In the same direction.

Cerebus is often touted as the greatest independent comic book of all time (for various reasons) but I'd like to point out that Elfquest told an incredible story with beautiful art in just 20 issues as opposed to 300. Plus it had an elf orgy. Also, I know it continued on after the first 20 issue story arc but we can ignore the rest of the story because there was never another elf orgy and also the rest of the series concentrated too much on Skywise's fear of dying which was totally valid but was often used as a foil to make Cutter seem braver and more loyal to his wolf roots but really just showed he was stubborn and dumb and totally didn't fuck as many elf maidens as Skywise did. Cerebus does have some sex in his comic book but since the first sex he has is when he rapes Astoria, I don't think anybody was really clamoring for any more of that. I mean, sure, some people were! I didn't mean to erase the sickos and perverts out there. Sorry, jerks! I'm sure the "A Note from the Publisher" bit by Deni seemed like a good idea when starting out on a harrowing self-publishing journey like that of Cerebus. But it quickly became a space where Deni just says, "Self-publishing is fraught with hardships and also this is a really good issue! I won't spoil it! Goodbye!" I won't be sad to see the divorce happen! That's an okay thing to say because it already happened, right? It's not like my wishing for the end of their marriage in 2020 somehow brought about the end of their marriage in the early 80s. Is it? I never took a college course on cause and effect so who the fuck knows? Unless that Critical Literary Theory class was about that?! Oh my God! I think I understand it now! Dave's finale to the "Swords of Cerebus" essay that has been broken up over the last three issues describes how he was consciously drawing the Eye of the Pyramid cult leader's gigantic penis while drawing the snake. Sorry to report, though, that he's being sarcastic. Apparently Dave is above using phallic imagery to make a point about patriarchal themes. Only fucking hacks do shit like that! Take that, whoever wrote fucking Beowulf!

Even if Sim can't see the humor in everybody assuming he made a giant snake dick joke on purpose, he can still be extraordinarily funny with the least of materials.

This issue takes Cerebus to his first fancy dress party (that's a costume party for all of you people who aren't British (which is also me but only because I was born a citizen of the United States of America who didn't have a choice but knew it was a huge mistake as I was learning about Monty Python's Flying Circus and Dave Allen at Large in elementary school and The Young Ones in junior high and Red Dwarf in college)). Cerebus changes out of his vest and puts on his costume: a furry black jumper (that's sweater for all of you people who aren't British (which is also me but only because I was forced to watch mostly American popular entertainment until the advent of YouTube and now I mostly just watch Taskmaster over and over (by the way, is Taskmaster as good for people who don't know all of the "contestants" or do I enjoy it more because I recognize and like almost all of the people on the show?)). Lord Julius is dressed as an, um, a, uh, Estarcion matador? I have no context in which to guess what he is.

Certain people like Cerebus because he says what's on his mind. I purposefully used the passive voice here so you can't prove one of those people is me.

Lord Julius has a follow-up joke that leaves the reader thinking, "I guess all Pavrovians are fat?" That's Dave Sim continuing his work on Estarcion continuity! Remember how Pavrovians are the, um, you knows of Estarcion! You know the nationality I'm thinking of! The ones that are all the things people usually find insulting! Come on, you know who I'm talking about. The dumb fat arrogant stupid naive gullible ones! Yes, that's it! Americans! Try to remember Dave is Canadian. You have to think of Americans through Canadian eyes (which are the equivalent of smart, cynical Americans)! E'lass and Turg have gotten tickets to The Festival of Petunias so they can steal the Wyndmel Diamond. They're the duo composed of a giant muscular man and a little bitty shrimpy guy who last encountered (and were beaten by) Cerebus in Issue #6. E'lass is dressed like some kind of small dirt dwelling creature so I hope Cerebus gets offended by his costume and stabs him in the throat. There isn't enough random slaughter in this book about barbarians.

I haven't wanted to fuck a fish this badly since The Littler Mermaid.

I suppose I could have said "since Splash" in that last caption to seem more normal and less perverted but then you'd know I was lying. The assassins make a move on Lord Julius but Cerebus comes up with a plan to stop them that involves inducing the Palnu elite to throw herring-and-onion dip at them. Is that a parodied scene from Duck Soup or Conan the Barbarian? In the confusion, the lead assassin slips out through a secret door and E'lass, having just stolen the diamond and becoming increasingly paranoid that somebody saw him, slips through it as well. Cerebus and Lord Julius follow, having noticed the assassin but not E'lass. Most of the pursuit's tension comes from E'lass believing Cerebus remembers him and is now going to use the excuse of this new crime to murder him. It's more tense than I've even described because I really need Cerebus to murder somebody in this Swords & Sorcery book already. Reading this book waiting for a murder is like firing up a porn video on your laptop with your dick in your hands and realizing after five minutes that the video is almost over and was just a teaser for a pay porn site. Cerebus threatens to quit his job just before battling the assassin so he can negotiate a term of 8 bags of gold and a horse in exchange for killing the assassin as a pension before he goes. Julius agrees and Cerebus takes out the assassin with a rock to the head. I mean, I guess it's a murder so yay? But I was really hoping for some stabbing. Meanwhile E'lass lives through the cliché of the criminal whose paranoia gets the better of him and he tosses the diamond into a huge pit so he doesn't get caught only to discover that they never knew he took it anyway. Everything is wrapped up quickly and thoroughly with Cerebus given money and motivation to move on from Palnu. Dave complained about his heavy use of cliché in this Palnu trilogy and I have to say I agree with Dave. But I only agree with Dave on this point! Don't take that out of context and start raving on Twitter that Grunion Guy agrees with Dave's Issue #186 rant about girlfriends being illogical which is also secretly a rant about a guy who needs to get laid so badly he puts up with partners he probably wouldn't even be friends with and then finally just decides orgasms are evil and religion is super awesome but only if you smash all three People of The Book religions into one bland mash paste of ancient dogma. In the epilogue, Lord Julius receives a letter from his niece Jaka in which she expresses delight in possibly seeing Cerebus again. I guess Dave learned from Howard the Duck that comic book nerds really love for their anthropomorphic heroes to be fucking statuesque women. Perhaps every guy develops a fetish of being with a woman whose breasts are at head level due to being hugged constantly by their female relatives when they're ten years old. Deni's brother Michael's first installment of the "Aardvarkian Age" essays appears in this issue. It gives more details to the various nations of Estarcion and their inhabitants' culture, ruling styles, and brutality of their armies. I thought I'd be more interested in this than I actually wound up being. Maybe I thought it would be funnier? Instead, it's just a bunch of facts about made-up kingdoms to make them sound more believable by making them more like European countries in the Middle Ages. If this entire bit were just lifted from a history of Europe with the names of actual countries replaced by Estarcion countries, I wouldn't even notice. Mostly because I know nothing about European history. As I've always said, "Those who know about European history are doomed to repeat it, boring every single other person at the cocktail party." Dave apologizes for the quarter price increase of the comic book in the Aardvark Comments pages. Why, I hadn't even noticed! Probably because this is the Biweekly reprint issue and I purchased it as a collection off of eBay. Some people write in and discuss how Cerebus is a very fine and funny comic book. I nodded along in agreement as I read the letters. I only touched my private area twice while reading and neither time was for pleasure. The most surprising thing about "The Single Page" is that it clearly states who the comic was authored by: Kent Featherly. I don't know why so many of these single page comics aren't more clearly labeled. Isn't part of the reason for having them exposure for the artists drawing and writing them?! Not putting an effort to let a large audience know who you are and how they can read more of your work just sounds like something I would do. By the way, you should play this game I wrote, Starship Troopers: The Game. You can find it on the hard drive of my laptop. Cerebus #16 Rating: B. Look, it was funny and well drawn and all that. But even Dave said it relied too heavily on cliché plot devices. I've got to lower the grade when even the author points out some of the story's flaws! And I'd probably have come to the same conclusion without having been influenced by Dave Sim because I'm like the best Internet comic book critic who isn't a critic and isn't actually reviewing comic books. Also I almost forgot this evidence: I'm a Grandmaster Comic Book Reviewer! Nobody else can make that claim and if they do, they're plagiarizing me and I'd like you to point them out to me so I can send them a threatening email in which I pretend to be my own lawyer who is really good at suing dumb-dumbs.

#Cerebus #Dave Sim

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eeveevie · 4 years

Text

dirty wastelander phrasebook

Madelyn and Deacon find themselves in quite the predicament after being captured by Gunners and must rely on an old Railroad secret Deacon bullshit—the Dirty Wasteland Phrasebook.

For them, it was just a regular ol’ Tuesday.

x - x

This was so not prompted, and is completely self-indulgent and full of all the things I have always wanted to write for myself lately and that makes me the happiest. I hope you enjoy, even if you don’t go here. Also, if you aren’t familiar with Monty Python, please watch this sketch or a lot of the references made here will not make any sense.

Deacon x Agent Charmer (Madelyn Hardy)

1713 words (under a cut) | Ao3

The last thing Madelyn expected to happen to her that Tuesday—was it a Tuesday? One could hardly tell anymore post apocalypse—was to be abducted. Stowed away in some dingy storage room with her hands behind her back, blindfolded by what was likely the most dust infested piece of cloth possible. At least Deacon was there with her—though she wasn’t so sure of that being a positive, considering their circumstances.

All she remembered was stalking Boston Commons, heading south towards the hospital—in hindsight a terrible idea. The entire street had been flooded with Gunners, crazed and ready to protect their territory from anybody who crossed into it. Deacon had been yelling, taunting them with his battle-cries as he ran towards them, Madelyn scrambling to reload her laser rifle as fast as she could. All for what? So they could scale the old medical center and install one of Tinker Tom’s sensors on the dilapidated roof? That would all be a tad difficult now—one gas grenade and rifle stock to the temple and it was lights out.

From what she could tell when she readjusted to the waking world, Deacon was tied to the opposite chair against her back, their chest, arms and wrists occupying the same binds. When she shifted, she felt him resist, tugging her a little too sharply so her spine hit the uncomfortable plastic backing of the seat she occupied.

“Ow,” she hissed. Matter of fact, everything in her body ached. One look at her Pip-Boy would likely tell her she was in desperate need of a stimpak and probably some RadAway too. That is, if she knew where her Pip-Boy was.

Deacon shifted, one of his fingers sneaking through the gap in the chairs to poke at her back. “Oh good, you’re alive.”

“I think I’d rather be dead,” Madelyn groaned, still wincing as she raised her head to get a better look at their surroundings. It was the standard ‘bad guy’ holding room—tools on a workbench, junk and trash, and the most awful lingering scent of flesh and blood.

“With a hit to the cranium like that, I’m surprised you aren’t,” he muttered. She felt his head tilt against hers with a gentle bump, a difficult task for him with their height difference, even when sitting and restrained. “You alright though Charmer?”

She sighed, pushing back in her own little gesture. “A massive headache but…yeah,” she smiled and despite it all, almost wanted to laugh. “Thanks Dee. Some shit we’ve found ourselves in, huh?”

He decided it was the perfect opportunity to chuckle. “I’ve been tied up under worse situations,” he stated. “Come to think of it, under much better ones too.”

The nearby door slammed open, two Gunners making their way in. A woman dressed in an old military jumpsuit, and a shirtless man with a bandolier strapped across his chest, the two clearly sent for guard duty.

“Oh will the two of you shut up?!” The one with the bandana shouted, clearly tweaking on some kind of drug—jet, psycho—Madelyn could see it in the wild way he was waving his plasma pistol around. But she also noted the glint of green on his wrist and narrowed her eyes—her Pip-Boy. Now she was alert and her blood got pumping.

Deacon couldn’t resist taunting the man, even though they were woefully unmatched. “Why don’t you make me?”

The male Gunner grumbled while the woman laughed. “Where’d that damn gag go?”

Madelyn stifled her own laughter, wondering if they had actually had to silence Deacon at some point—and if he had found a way to remove it even with his hands behind his back. “You’ll have to find a different way to gag me, big guy.”

“Fuck you!”

Deacon hummed. “Something like that.”

At that, she couldn’t resist and choked back a laugh, pursing her lips so the Gunners wouldn’t take out their frustration on her. Even though she couldn’t see him, she could tell Deacon was beaming. He curled a few of his fingers around hers as the Gunner guards began to pace.

“Come on man,” the rugged military woman urged the other man to back off. “The boss man wants these two alive for ransom. Something about this one,” she gestured to Madelyn. “Being valuable or sumthin’”

“What am I, canned cram?” Deacon mumbled under his breath. As the Gunners fussed over something frivolous, he squeezed his grip around her hand. “This is the part where we escape,” he spoke in a soft whisper, head craned towards her.

Madelyn turned but all she could see was the glimmer of his sunglasses out of the corner of her eyes. “Please enlighten me on how we are going to that.”

Deacon snickered as if she had just cracked a good joke—he seemed to find comfort in her dreary, cynical tone. “It’s time for us to use a Railroad classic. The Dirty Wastelander Phrasebook.”

Even though she knew that it is was more or less one of Deacon’s bullshit creations, she also knew it was sometimes best to humor him. She had learnt his ways, knowing that one day one of his lessons would come in handy—that Tuesday would be that day.

“Operation Cramalot?” she inquired, feeling him excitedly grip her hand. “Or do we want to skip the musical numbers this time?”

He was chuckling, shaking the both of them with his laughter. “Charmer, you know—”

Whatever he was about to say was cut off by the male guard stomping over again with a snarl, smacking Deacon across the face with an echoing slap. After quickly rebounding, his only reaction was to stay amused, accentuating his words. “Do you have a cigarette? My hovercraft is full of eels.”

“What?” the Gunner growled. “The fuck you talkin’ about cigarettes for?”

While the woman in the corner howled, entertained by it all, Deacon took the time to nudge one of his fingers against the small of her back, signaling her. Madelyn focused her attention on the female Gunner, watching her every movement while she felt her partner nimbly pull at the cords at their wrists.

“Do you want to come back to my place?” Deacon asked, voice high-pitched and full of sarcasm. The restraints came looser still. “Bouncy-bouncy?”

The Gunner shook her head, holding her stomach as she continued to laugh. “I think the boss hit this one too hard—he’s lost it!”

Madelyn decided it was her turn. “If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?” she eyed the female guard, batting her eyelashes, knowing she was laying it on much thicker than she ever would—but at this point she was well aware the other woman was under some kind of influence and wouldn’t notice. Plus, she had a codename to live up to.

Deacon, meanwhile, had loosened their ties enough to the point that they could make their move, but they would need to time it right. He tapped her once more, this time finding the teeniest sliver of skin where her shirt had ridden up—that was definitely on purpose, the flirt. “You have beautiful thighs.”

Finally, the other Gunner moved towards them with her arms crossed, obviously suspicious of the two. Madelyn stayed focused, steadying her breath and responding to Deacon’s signal. “Drop your panties, Dee, I cannot wait till lunchtime.”

With that, the two jumped up, scream-laughing as they tackled their perspective guards to the ground, not stopping until the sound of energy blasts signified their gruesome ends. All in another day for a wastelander just trying to survive, Madelyn supposed. Though, she wasn’t just another wastelander, but dwelling too much on those thoughts never did her any good. Instead, she wiped the blood and sweat from her brow, sighing as she pushed herself up from the ground.

She turned around just in time to find Deacon already standing with a satisfied smile. “I believe this belongs to you?”

Madelyn was all too pleased as she snatched the Pip-Boy—her Pip-Boy from him, quickly securing it back into place on her left wrist. She dusted off the grime and dust from the screen, sighing when the mechanism recognized its true owner, swiftly alerting her to her many injuries and her location. At least they weren’t too far away from Goodneighbor where they could rest up and get proper medical attention.

“Please fondle my bum—am I using that one right?” she asked.

Deacon chuckled, nodding as he readjusted his sunglasses and pompadour wig. “You do the Railroad—me proud Charmer. I could—”

She eyed him, tilting her head slightly at his pause. “You could…what?”

Come to think of it, he been cut off earlier too. But Deacon wasn’t that easy of a nut to crack and his smile hardly faltered. He gave a little inconspicuous shrug and she suddenly felt a surge of adrenaline and all sense of sensibility fly out the broken storage room windows. She could only hope she was reading the moment and perhaps his signals correctly.

Without much of a second thought, Madelyn reached out to grab him by the shirt collar, yanking him down and closing the distance between them. He was still smirking when their mouths met, lips threatening to stretch into a grin before they finally responded to her kiss instead. She slid one of her hands and hooked it around his shoulder, bracing herself against him as his arms wrapped around her waist, the two clumsily bumping into the nearest wall.

Only then did she pull away with a small gasp of air, staring up at him in surprise—she had acted on impulse, but that didn’t mean she hadn’t wanted to do that, been thinking about doing that for months. They were still staring at each other with somewhat agape expressions, tangled in each other’s arms when he breathed out, the goofiest smile on his lips.

“My nipples explode with delight!” Deacon exclaimed—not quite using the handbook phrase correctly.

Madelyn snickered, tears of laughter prickling at the corners of her eyes at the hilarity of it all before pressing up on her toes so that she might kiss him again. “I figured you might say that.”

leave a 💙

#fallout 4 #deacon #deacon x f!solesurvivor #madelyn hardy #agent charmer #otp: my hovercraft is full of eels #THAR BE KISSING HERE ATTN THAR BE KISSING HERE #BUT ALSO LOTS OF SILLY SELF INDULGENCE #i've now established this is a parallel universe to the one where she romances danse but anyways #fanfic #monty python jokes #i am so proud of this ;___;

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afriendtokilltime · 5 years

Text

Okay, fine. Let’s talk about parasocial relationships.

The term “parasocial” has been making the rounds as a very very smart sounding thing to say. It not only establishes that you know an unusual and complex word, but also that you are too smart to fall for marketing tactics, and that you are much too cool to show enthusiasm for anything!

So, what’s a parasocial relationship? It’s a one-sided relationship with a celebrity or fictional character--the entire relationship takes place in your head. You’re reading this on tumblr, which means you have lots of parasocial relationships. You’re very parasocially popular! Maybe you even have one with me. (Probably not, I stopped posting for a long time, so we probably don’t parasocially know one another at all.)

I first encountered this term being used as an inherently bad thing, something to avoid, as though the term referred to the negative version of itself. What I saw was not people explaining why it can be harmful, but speaking as if we all know it is (the way you’d use “alcoholism”).

I see people carefully watching themselves to make sure they aren’t engaging in a “parasocial relationship,” or referring to a behavior they don’t like as “borderline parasocial relationship behavior.” But, there is no such thing as “relationship behavior” other than closing the psychological distance between yourself and another person. “Parasocial relationship behavior” is doing this, but it’s one-sided. You get closer, and they do not. That’s it. That’s the only thing. Does that mean building a shrine to Kristen Stewart? Does it mean crying with joy at Hbomberguy’s Mermaids/Donkey Kong stream? Does it mean writing a 100k fanfiction about Hermione Granger, Vampire Slayer? Does it mean buying a David Bowie CD? Does it mean begging the show writers to finally make that queerbaity relationship canon? Does it mean killing the president? You decide!

Becoming psychologically closer to people and characters is not inherently unhealthy, whether they know who you are or not. How you treat them and respond to that closeness, and how they choose to cultivate closeness, can of course be unhealthy...but so can reciprocal relationships.

What’s weird to me is that we generally seem to be aware that there are bad and good (healthy and unhealthy) relationships. I have a good relationship with @randomshoes because we support each other, are interested in each others’ success, spend quality time together, and communicate well. If I was to stalk her or kill a president for her, or if she was to abuse my trust and take all my money while falsely assuring me she loved me, our relationship would be somewhat less healthy.

So, what’s so bad about parasocial relationships?

They don’t actually care about you and they are taking your money.

If a marketing team/a celebrity uses these relationships to prey on vulnerable people, that might be an abusive relationship...in the other direction. If I manipulate a friend I know out of her money, I’m the bad guy, right? But if I’m famous, and she’s 16, and I knowingly manipulate her out of her money, then she’s the bad guy, because teenage girls are dumb and they should feel bad for ever liking anything, forming identities, feeling attraction, or basically being uncool and childish in any way.

It is definitely a good idea to remember that transactions are a part of how art is usually consumed, and not to express your affection or deep identification with an art/artist by spending lots of money on tee shirts that depict them. However, even this type of interaction can be encouraged in a healthy, positive way. Patreon seems to really make people mad, but it’s not the worst system for artists who Live in A Society and don’t happen to have any lembas laying around. “I’ll pretend to love you so you can make me a millionaire” seems kinda gross but “I appreciate that your support helps me continue making the art you love” kinda sorta does not.

Some people go too far and commit heinous crimes because they expect their parasocial affections to be reciprocated.

Those crimes would be heinous even in an already reciprocal relationship. (I already mentioned this, but if I committed terrorism for my very real girlfriend who knows exactly who I am, that would probably make me no better or worse than Hinkley.)

You’re an isolated loser and need real friends.

Okay. Anybody pouring all their energy into one relationship is probably not doing life correctly, regardless of how parasocial that relationship is. But this is a point on which I simply do not agree. People engage in these behaviors regardless of how wide their friend circle is. If not with celebrities, then with fictional characters, or even historical or political figures (think more “little father” than “senator” though what you do with that Bernie Sanders picture in your room is between you and God). Oh speaking of God, relationships with religious figures might arguably have some similarities and speak to the same human tendency, but there is of course the difference that Justin Bieber doesn’t know who TF you are, but God does.

Uh, sorry, you didn’t address my point. Forming parasocial relationships stops you developing real relationships.

I actually think it encourages reciprocal socialization. I didn’t have many friends growing up. When I met two other kids who were obsessed with Harry Potter, we bonded over that, making up our own characters (next generation type of BS...still better than the book 7 epilogue), and this formed the basis of a friendship that lasted basically my entire pubescence. These parasocial relationships are generally part of a broader interest, and interests and hobbies help you meet people, break the ice, and uhm...form real relationships.

It’s not just interests, though. I was hardcore into dinosaurs as a kid. Literally every child likes dinosaurs, but that didn’t help me form any new friendships. The other reason I think parasocial relationships lead to better real relationships is...practice. You are engaging in social behaviors, whether or not you’re any good at them, whether or not you succeed. This is what’s required to learn any new skill, but it’s generally discouraged.

You don’t just learn about how to socialize, you also learn about yourself. You develop a sense of identity and learn what you like and dislike by associating yourself with favorite characters.

Children and teens often imitate their behaviors, and though that can be a bit annoying (why yes I do have the Spanish Inquisition sketch memorized but thanks for repeating it to make sure I got it), it also helps them figure out what kind of people they want to be (maybe you want to be funny, so you over time learn that what made Monty Python so funny was surprise, surprise and fear, and you develop comedic timing). Knowing what kind of person you want to be is important.

Right, but it’s selfish. You keep calling it “one sided” which it literally is. There’s no checks on your behavior.

Right. I think that’s good, though? I think it’s good for people to sometimes do selfish things. I think it’s good to cultivate parasocial relationships because they are a way to self-soothe, and get your own needs met, without burdening others. We are social creatures, and we absolutely need relationships, but nobody owes you a relationship. Nobody owes you affection or love. Having a way to cultivate that for yourself is actually incredibly valuable.

It’s worth commenting here that I think my strongest parasocial relationships are probably with characters I’ve made up myself. They are “a part of me” in that they are always there in my life, but unlike some writers, I do not base characters on myself or see them as reflecting specific parts of me. I relate to them in the same way I relate to Harry Potter, except that I was the one who made them up initially, and books I write about them can be published and I can make money off them. (On some theoretical plane of existence.) It’s pretty clear that I am the one doing all the work on both sides of this particular parasocial relationship, but it doesn’t feel super different to me than the fact I very intensely relate to certain characters not made up by me. I don’t conceive myself dating one of them, like I don’t have a Dorothy L. Sayers thing going on, but I don’t really think it would be wrong if I did.

What do you mean not being a burden on others? What about toxic fans putting pressure on creators?

Yeah...that’ll be in the “unhealthy relationship” category. But, okay, I guess where I am ending up here is I do think it’s good to recognize parasocial relationships exist and talk about them, because it reminds you that even if a relationship is not reciprocal, you do have responsibilities. If the other person is real, that means they are only human, and even if you have no choice but to stan, you should give them some breathing space. The Shinji Ikari ContraPoints in my head can be my super close friend, but if I expect the real Natalie Wynn to give me any more energy than she already does to her entire audience by making the awesome videos I enjoy so much, I’d be really rude, demanding, and honestly not worthy of her friendship if it was “real.”

Parasocial relationships are relationships which means, just like with reciprocal ones, you have to not be a dick. You have to respect the other person and recognize they are a human being separate from you. Even with characters, Harry Potter can’t be hurt by anything weird and demanding you do, but Rowling could, and so could other HP fans, so respect is still important. If it’s not already clear, I strongly disagree with people who suggest fanfiction is disrespectful, so.

If you understand that your relationship is abstracted, and that you do not deserve any kind of reward for all the energy and love that you pour into it...then enjoy your parasocial relationship, because it is absolutely normative, human, and can bring great joy and meaning into your life. In fact, almost all of what I just said applies to reciprocal relationships, too.

#parasocial relationships #fandom #fanfiction #relationships #I have some more thoughts probably but here are these ones

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findmyrupertfriend · 4 years

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Tom Teodorczuk, Saturday 22 August 2015

"I’ve been a big blagger all my life,” declares the actor Rupert Friend. “I’m still doing it. Look at me here – I’m pretending I’m some baldy assassin dude and it’s all a blag ... it’s like Del Boy going on in some corner or other.”

Friend confesses this by way of explaining his fascination with con artistry that will soon manifest itself in Barton & Charlie & Checco & Bill, a film about confidence tricksters which he wrote and will star in and direct. The “baldy assassin” to whom Friend refers is the title role he plays in Hitman: Agent 47, a new Hollywood studio thriller derived from the Hitman video games, in which he plays the protagonist alongside Star Trek’s Zachary Quinto.

It’s the second time a blockbuster has been based on Hitman (there was an underwhelming 2007 version) and you sense that Friend’s turn as calculating CIA black-ops agent Peter Quinn in hit television drama Homeland was instrumental in landing him the role after the film’s original star, Paul Walker, died in a car crash in 2013. It’s the latest phase in an intriguing career that has seen Friend become a period-drama mainstay (Chéri, Pride and Prejudice, Young Victoria) and a credible stage thesp (he played a closeted gay actor opposite Tamsin Greig and Gemma Arterton in The Little Dog Laughed in the West End, and received rave reviews in Dennis Potter’s Brimstone and Treacle at the Arcola Theatre in Dalston, east London.)

Many actors playing cold-blooded killing machines would have stressed they sought to be fun company on set. Not Friend. “I was quite solitary for Hitman,” he says. “I was quite apart. He struck me as a very sad individual. There was a mournful quality there.”

During his early career, much of the attention paid to him was due to his relationship with Keira Knightley, whom he dated for five years. But when I meet him at a New York hotel, he’s very much his own man: intelligent, playful and determined to do things his way. Our exchange is more akin to a meandering, diverting tutorial than a celebrity trying to promote a film. Questions are thrown back at me, stray words challenged.

With Hitman: Agent 47 and Homeland, Friend has cornered the market in no-nonsense killers. “It’s curious that these two things have happened at the same time,” he notes. “It’s an odd zeitgeist cornering of assassins. I have no idea why. But in this business, it’s like buses. Things tend to come along in twos or threes. There’s a bunch of Dorian Gray movies and then there will be a bunch of gladiator movies.”

In the production notes for Hitman: Agent 47, producer Charles Gordon compares Friend to Bruce Willis when he made Die Hard. He laughs when I bring up the comparison, insisting he’s not about to become an action hero. “I like to shake it up. Becoming that guy who does one thing is not very interesting. I’m lucky and proud to have been involved in period films and action films. I feel like there’s a little farcical side that has not been tapped yet.”

Indeed Friend says he’s a huge fan of Monty Python and that Barton & Charlie & Checco & Bill, which will also co-star Emily Blunt, will be a US-set comedy. He also reveals that there has been talk of a feature based on Steve, a 2010 short he directed, starring Colin Firth as an eccentric loner. “Colin called me to say he and his producing partners really want to do a feature of it,” Friend says. “ I would be very happy to ... if the BFI wants to get their finger out of their arse and provide a decent tax break. The fact that British people complain there’s no film industry, and yet they don’t offer any incentives to filmmakers, is bananas.”

Friend is equally bored by the idea of watching his own films. When I ask what he thinks of Hitman: Agent 47, he replies: “I haven’t seen it. I don’t watch my films. I have no interest in it all. I’m interested in research, preparation and doing the best job I can.” Even with Homeland, Friend says, “I saw the first season – that I wasn’t in – but nothing since then.”

Since the departure of Brody (Damian Lewis) at the end of Series 3, Quinn has been the show’s male lead. How many more Homeland series will he do? “It’s not up to me. It’s this curious thing where my fate is in another’s hands.” Is he ahead in terms of knowing what happens on the show? “Very rarely. The creative process is remote. It’s done out of LA and it’s handed down. We sort of do what we’re told. It’s done by committee, but the committee is in LA and we’re all in Berlin so there’s a disconnect there.”

Both Homeland and Hitman: Agent 47 were filmed in Berlin, a city Friend seems ambivalent about. “It’s a diverse place filled with artists, debate and argument but it struggles with its history and the reinvention of itself.” When I ask whether he has acquainted himself with the city’s famed nightspots, specifically techno institution Berghain, he says not. “I’m not a big night-clubbing guy, but Zach [Quinto] has been. Zach had a season ticket!”

At one stage, Friend brings up Benedict Cumberbatch’s recent plea to fans not to film him in Hamlet at the Barbican, by way of bemoaning audiences’ inability to enjoy the moment. Would Friend like to play Hamlet? “No. I don’t want to do the theatre,” he says, surprisingly given his stage work. “It’s not something that interests me. I have a very short attention span. I’d do it once … for one night only.”

At the Hitman: Agent 47 New York premiere, two days earlier, he looked at ease posing with his American fiancée, former Paralympic athlete turned model Aimee Mullins. Is he now more used to the public eye than during his relationship with Knightley? “It’s one of the most nerve-racking things to walk along a strip of red carpet which looks so fun and glamorous while 40 or 50 flashbulbs go off,” Friend contends. “It is surreal, invasive, horrible, violating and necessary, so to hold somebody’s hand while you’re doing it makes it a lot better.”

Born without fibula bones, Mullins had both knees amputated when she was a baby. She received international acclaim in 2012 for a TED Talk she gave on redefining disability. Is she an inspirational person? “That is an overused word,” he says. “There’s an argument for a moratorium on the word, there’s a kind of cult of ‘inspiration porn’ which TED has been guilty of,” – though he adds that he likes their talks.

Friend tells me the pair met in New York, where he now lives. As for when they are getting married? “I’m happy for it to be as much a surprise for us as it is for everyone else” – a response which might be a deflection but seems fitting for a man who places a premium on unpredictability.

#words with friend #rupert friend #interview #indepent.co.uk #august 2015

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filmadaydiary · 5 years

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10/13/19

Monty Python’s Life of Brian – Terry Jones, 1979

So this is the one that my boyfriend likes the best. I thought it was good, I definitely enjoyed it. There were some things in it that I didn’t enjoy as much as others, but I do have to admit that the writing in this one is a lot tighter and everyone seems to be doing better than they were in Holy Grail. This also had a much more cohesive narrative, which did make it easier to watch. And of course, this features the iconic “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” song, which is a winner.

I do appreciate the way they went about this film. It’s clearly a satire of religion, but Jesus never really enters into the picture. The story’s about Brian, a guy who lives a very similar life to Jesus, only he’s not the son of God, and he doesn’t understand why people are following him. I do think that the idea is very clever, and I appreciate the sensitivity they managed to have while still being very funny. Satire is difficult to do, but the Pythons definitely have it down to a science.

#filmblr #filmcommunity #filmmaking #film review #film

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singaporeluststoriescollection · 5 years

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How I managed to bang my GF's family and friends (Part 3)

Evelynn came out from the toilet, wiping her hands on her shirt. Without taking a second glance at us, she went into the kitchen, rummaging through the food we bought.

Heading into the kitchen to help Evelynn with the food, I took a look at Eyvon. And there she was, sitting on the sofa as if nothing had happened, playing with her phone.

At that very moment, I was hoping that nothing too drastic would happen later…

Stephen Chow’s Kung Fu Hustle was playing on the television, and Evelynn was having a great time. Apparently, she grew up not knowing the glory of Stephen Chow due to her growing up in an English-speaking family. As such, they made it a point to show me the Monty Python movies whenever possible.

And I must say, we sure picked the perfect day to watch Kung Fu Hustle.

Evelynn was sitting on the floor that day, making herself comfortable on a pile of pillows and bolsters.

Eyvon and I took the sofa, and she covered herself with a blanket- much to my disappointment. However, with the aircon blasting at 16 degrees Celsius, I soon felt the brunt of the cold. Removing the pillow, I was hugging, I attempted to go to Evelynn’s room to retrieve a blanket.

“Cold?” Eyvon asked, right before I stood up.

“Yeah, let me just go and…”

“It’s alright, we can share!” Eyvon suggested with a faint smile. “My blanket is really big!”

Eyvon lifted her blanket, signalling me to crawl inside. It was at that moment that I saw the most incredible thing in my life yet. Beneath the fluffy cotton blanket was a pair of tender looking breasts- with nothing covering them! Eyvon has skilfully removed her tube top, sliding them down beneath her breasts.

Before I even realized, I was already inside the blanket.

And thank goodness we were watching a noisy movie like Kung Fu Hustle. I swear they would both hear my heartbeat otherwise. We share the blanket for what seemed like an eternity (but really, it was probably just a couple of minutes), before I felt Eyvon’s hands stroking my forearm.

Leaning closer to my ears, Eyvon whispered in an almost seductive way.

“…Touch me…”

What happened afterwards was a blur. I was suddenly holding onto Eyvon’s right breast, gently fondling it with my palm. Occasionally, I would slide my fingers across her hard nipple, making her gasp softly for air. Her breast was soft, unlike anything I’ve touched before.

This went on for a good portion of the movie, before I suddenly felt Eyvon’s fingers moving down my thighs. Her sleek fingers wrapped around my crotch, lightly massaging my important region. I must be having the best boner in my entire life, as my penis was rock hard- so hard that it was beginning to hurt due to my shorts…

Eyvon twirled her fingers on my bulge, scratching it lightly with her nails. Her gentle caressing is making my crotch pulsate uncontrollably- and I loved it. Hoping to please her even further, I started pinching her nipple slightly with my thumb and index finger. The moment I applied a little force on her nipple, Eyvon let out a relatively loud moan.

“Ahh…”

And I got to say I was scared shitless- What if Evelynn had heard that? Darting my eyes back to the front, I saw Evelynn- still enjoying the movie. My heart was beating so fast I was sure I was about to suffer a heart attack.

Alright, no more pinching for now.

I turned to look at Eyvon, wondering if she was afraid too. However, she’s got this dazed, erotic look on her face. Her face was flushed, and she looks like she’s thoroughly enjoying the it. Back then, I wondered about how far I could take this before she would finally decide that it would be too dangerous to continue.

With that in mind, I started groping her breast with my entire hand, massaging it with my palm. Eyvon was caught off guard by my actions and her body twitched accordingly. Every time I would apply some force or move my hand around, her body would tremble a little, as if someone just sent an electric current through her body.

With my other hand, I pulled my shorts down a little, allowing my little member to poke its head out. At that point, my penis was already leaking precum, like any healthy young men would. As if by reflex, Eyvon shifted her hands to my now exposed penis, rubbing the head of my penis like she’s applying some sort of ointment. My precum lubricated her fingers, so it didn’t hurt that bad when she used her nails to pry open the shorts covering my shaft.

At this point, half my penis was exposed. To me, it was a pretty daring act, considering my girlfriend was right in front of me. And here I was, letting her sister play around with my penis.

Ironically, I was naive enough to think that nothing else I do in my life will ever top this…

With her index and middle fingers, Eyvon started rubbing my shaft gently. The fact that I couldn’t embrace her on the spot was killing me inside. While this whole teasing game was exciting, both my heart and penis are at their absolute limit. If only there was something, I could do to make Evelynn leave the house…

As I was in deep thought, my hand has stopped moving. Protesting my lack of effort, Eyvon started twisting her body slightly, pretending to stretch her back and arms. Her erect nipple brushed against my palm, urging me to continue touching her.

“Well, two can play at this game”, I thought to myself.

By the end of this session, I’ll ensure that she’ll be lusting for me as much as I’ll be lusting for her.

After giving her breast another light squeeze, I started sliding my palm down to her belly, lightly massaging her body through her clothes. Within moments, I’ve arrived at the forbidden garden- the ultimate trophy of aroused men like me. Her loose-fitting shorts were perfect in this situation. I could gain access to her important regions without much trouble.

Without any warning, I slipped my hand into her shorts, my fingers rubbing her inner thighs. Eyvon threw me a disapproving glance, but did nothing to stop my advances. As I fondled her thighs, I deliberately brushed against her panties every now and then. Every time this happened, Eyvon’s breathing becomes irregular, and her hand playing with my penis would stop moving.

I wasn’t sure how long we did this, as I was extremely engrossed in the moment. Eventually, the inevitable happened. I could feel something rushing into my penis, waiting to make their way out.

This is bad.

As much as I am enjoying this, releasing my load in this situation will be disastrous. What’s more, after all that teasing- this load is no doubt a big one. Finally thinking straight for the first time in a while, I retracted my hand and held onto Eyvon’s fingers.

She looked me in the eyes, puzzled as to why I stopped the teasing.

With my softest voice, I said “No more, cumming soon”

Eyvon’s puzzled look soon turned into a smirk, and she bit on her lips…

It was a look of pure mischief, like the kind of look on a cat’s face when it sees a potential plaything.

Oh shit.

Without any warning, Eyvon grabbed onto my manhood like a child snatching a toy- insanely fast, yet kinda expected.

I almost let out a yelp, but managed to hold it in at the very last moment. My eyes darted to the front, once again making sure that Evelynn was looking at the screen.

Meanwhile, Eyvon started jerking my penis relentlessly as if her life depended on it. I grabbed onto her forearm, determined to stop her from making a horrible mistake.

However, while I managed to stop her jerking motion, her wrists started moving in place of her arm instead.

She is out for blood(cum), and she’s not stopping until she gets some.

All of a sudden, my hips tightened- a tell-tale sign of what’s to come. I leaned backwards, prepared for the inevitable explosion of fluids.

Then, it happened.

Eyvon removed her hand from my penis, and I was so close to ejaculation.

I stared at her in disbelief- how could she do something like this to a guy? Does this actually enjoy this? Now I think I could understand why her ex left her…

Retracting her hand slowly, Eyvon brought it close to her face, running her fingers along the tip of her tongue. She was cleaning my precum off her fingers, and enjoying every moment of it.

Not gonna lie, that was sexy as hell. Now I am both angry and horny.

“Hey, you know…” Eyvon said, clearly directing the sentence at her sister…

For a short moment, I was pretty sure I stopped breathing. Here I am, sharing a blanket with my girlfriend’s sister with my penis exposed, while the two ladies chatted with each other as if nothing was happening. Just what the hell was Eyvon thinking?

“…I’m going to take a nap,” Eyvon said, deliberately letting a yawn escape. “Wake me up when it’s over!”

With that, Eyvon pulled the blanket over her head and went under.

She’s going to sleep just like that? I asked myself, both angry and amazed by this unexpected turn of events. At that moment, all I could think about was how to unload the stuff in my penis ASAP. Perhaps I should go to the toilet and release my load? Maybe I should wait for the movie to end and ask Evelynn to…

While I was deep in my thought, I suddenly felt something brush against my thigh. Snapped back into reality, I cautiously lifted the blanket to see what was going on. The moment I lifted the blanket, I could see Eyvon’s naughty look right before my eyes- directly beside my penis. With her slender fingers, Eyvon held my penis against my skin. Without a second word or warning, Eyvon stuck out her tongue and slid it across the base of my penis.

I let out more air than usual from my mouth, clearly enjoying what she did. As if she was a devious Gremlin, Eyvon stared me right in the eye and continued licking the base, with her fingers lightly massaging the tip of my penis.

As I was almost at my limit, I was trying my best to not ejaculate this quickly. After all, who knows when an opportunity like this would come by again? Looking at my face, Eyvon probably knew that I was holding it in. She started sliding her tongue upwards, with only the tip of her tongue touching my penis. Her tongue eventually reached the top of my penis, and my penis was twitching from the pleasure.

Before I could even wonder what, she’ll do next, Eyvon wrapped her soft lips around the head of my penis. Twirling it slowly, my penis was engulfed in nothing but ecstasy. While her mouth was doing that, she started jerking my penis off with her left hand, forming a thin ring using her index finger and thumb.

As much as I would love to enjoy this a little longer, I have reached my limit. Not wanting to give her another chance to spoil my orgasm, I did not warn her that I’ll be ejaculating soon.

Then, with one final light thrust of my waist, I unloaded in Eyvon’s mouth. Her initially shocked expression soon turned into a look of acceptance, as she slowed down her movements and did her best to contain my load in her mouth.

It has been a long time since I’ve had such a long orgasm. My cum kept flowing out, and Eyvon was taking it all in her mouth. She was looking at me in the eyes with a slight frown, as if complaining about the amount I was letting out. Soon, my penis settled down and Eyvon pulled away from my penis…

(Original thread: http://tiny.cc/td3x6y) (To be continued…)

#slsc1

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chrysaliseuro2019 · 5 years

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The Boat was Rocking

It was time to leave the Peloponnese and head to the island of Folegandros. Prior to that we wanted to look at the archeological museum in Nafplio and we also had to return the car to Piraeus the port of Athens from where all the ferries leave. Liz had timed it to all fit together. Car due back in Piraeus at 1.30 with a half hour leeway and ferry leaves for Folegandros at 3.45pm. Two hour drive to Piraeus so we wanted to be on the road by 11.15. We headed for breakfast at 8.30 and had a very pleasant one in the main square with just a few people around at that time. Headed for the museum post that and we were the only visitors in there. It is a really attractive building dating from 1713 in the Venetian style. It was very imposing. The first thing we saw which had been the real drawcard was a midden which was 32000 years old (you don't get a chance to see something that old very often) used by hunter gathererer cave dwellers in the region. Looking up the word midden it appears to be some sort of dump for all sorts of domestic waste which might be human excrement, animal bones, shells, molluscs, charcoal could be anything. Presumably the archaeologists gave it the once over and found all sorts of goodies or possibly baddies in there. In truth it looked like some flattened clay so imagination required. Though not too much. I didn't want to contemplate some ancient cave dweller squatting over the midden (though now I am). The rest of the exhibits were very interesting with a lot of artefacts which had been placed in the tombs of eminent people. Also examples of tools and weapons which showed the transition from hunters to other forms of "economy" and survival. Exhibits ranged mostly in age from 6000 BC to around 400 AD but some much older and covered everything from ornate urns and jugs (which were fantastically reconstructed), figurines, jewellery, tools and a suit of armour from 1500 BC which did not look very manoeuvrable. You felt that anyone inside it would be a sitting duck though it would have taken some penetration. Had a touch of the Monty Pythons. We stayed for around an hour and I think someone else rolled up to visit in that time which was just as we all as the 6/7 staff needed something to do given the museum was only on two not huge floors. We headed back and scurried around packing. Liz keeping a very watchful eye on the time and my intricate packing and ablution procedures. The time was called out at 5 minute intervals. It seemed to work as we head off in the car at 11.19 (precisely). Four minutes late, not bad, in fact in my book that's early. The journey was uneventful with a mix of freeway and standard roads. You can do 130km/hr on some stretches of the freeway so that was handy to keep on schedule. You have to stop for tolls every 20/30kms or so which is usually around 2 euros which slow things down a little. The biggest deal at the end was finding a petrol station. I had bypassed the last one so was not popular. We had to roll up at thrifty/hertz and ask for directions - very handy as station was around the corner. Interestingly when we picked the car up it had been left on half full as they said they had not had time to fill it up. We dubiously wondered if this was another lurk as it's pretty hard to return a car on half full. You are bound to go over. We pondered the various ways that dosh could be made on this but perhaps it was genuine. When you believe there's a conspiracy it's usually incompetence. Never ever happened before though in other countries. We handed the car back around 1.45 as close to half full as we could manage so all good and I must say the staff were very friendly and helpful. Now for the ferry. Piraeus is a pretty large passenger ferry port. There seemed to be around 10 or more quays and perhaps more that we couldn't see and they are spread out around a sort of horseshoe bay with a distance of a kilometre or two (hard to tell) covering them. We set off wheeling our bags with back packs on and it was pretty warm but we weren't 100% sure which quay we had to go to though had an idea. Anyway after about 20 mins of wheeling with a few stops including to buy some savoury pastries we entered a gate and were directed to the kiosk of the shipping line we were using. Now around 2.15. Ferry due to leave at 3.45. Of course we had walked past the kiosk on our way so were now doubling back through the heat but had found where we needed to be so didn't care. Not good news, ferry was running late. They weren't sure why but later said it was the weather and certainly the wind was very strong which wasn't filling us with joyous anticipation for the trip. It would be arriving at around 5.00pm. Leaving, some time after that, typically a half hour turn around so we were told. Nothing to do but head for some covered shelters to get out of the sun, eat our pastries and settle down for a long wait. 5.00pm became 6.10 and the ferry finally rolled up around then. Around that time proceedings descended into farce as another ferry from the same shipping line came in first at a slightly different dock nearby. All those waiting for the Folegandros ferry including us scooted over to that ferry, watched cars and people unload only to be told that we needed to go back to the original spot and wait - it wasn't ours. There was scurrying as everyone tried to get good positions to be on early. This presumably was because some did not have reserved seats and wanted to find the pick of the unreserved seats. We had reserved a couple of seats though our last experience on a ferry to Sardinia had been that reserved seats were not reserved seats and people commandeered them. So we were playing it sort of safe and trying to make sure we were not at the rear end of the line. As our ferry approached people moved from side to side 30 or 40 metres trying to anticipate and partly as directed by staff as to where the ramp would actually be. Imagine a couple of hundred people moving back and forth with suitcases, kids and various holiday paraphernalia all in still warm sun. It was quite something and we for our part were trying to stay reasonably at the front too. To add to the confusion a large petrol tanker was right in the midst of us presumably ready to refuel the ferry and had to reverse causing more chaos. We chatted to an amusing guy from New York and his wife who was good naturedly bemoaning the fact that as we stood in the queue he was supposed to be at a beach birthday party on one of the earlier island stops for this ferry. He and his wife had flown from America to specifically make this event. The best laid plans. Still he said the party would still be going when he got there. Finally around 6.30 the ferry started to unload people followed by cars while some onboarders rushed up the ramp against the flow of offboarders trying to stake their spots. This sent the officials into minor apoplexy and these people were stopped at the top of the ramp while disembarkation finished. We all then put our heads down and rushed up. Elbows weren't quite out but there were no beg pardons. Luckily I was with someone who can handle herself in the clinches and Liz beat me up the ramp hands down. One good reason to be up the ramp relatively early was that the formal storage racks for bags soon ran out though in truth people then just stored their bags alongside them and it didn't seem to be a problem. Also the ferry had several stops at different islands and theoretically each island had a separate storage section. We ignored that as clearly did plenty of others and chucked ours where there was a space. All worked well. Finally we had to negotiate the narrow doorway where tickets were checked with a couple of hundred people trying to be first through but from there the bedlam ceased. Our reserved seats were very comfortable. In a separate section with a hundred or so others though the seating was not full. An attendant checked tickets so no one could take your spot. I immediately shot to the bar and they actually did vodka and tonic which Liz was v pleased about after 4 frustrating hours of sitting on our hands preceded by a 2 hour + drive. I enjoyed a couple of cleansing ales too of course and we settled back to await departure. Of course the boat took another hour and a quarter to depart so finally left around 7.45pm - 4 hours late. Thems the travel breaks sometimes. A bit aggravating apart from the boredom of hanging around. It meant we lost the latter part of the evening and a decent dinner in town in Folegandros. Also we were paying essentially for a bed for a night and Folegandros prices not that cheap. If you knew that you would be arriving so late you would stay at the $50 a night job at the port, assuming it existed, though we reconciled ourselves that with a 1.45 am ferry arrival finding a hotel would have been impossible. Anyway, very efficiently, staff at the apartments where we were staying pick you up from the port and much to our relief after a 6 hour journey due to the rocky weather one was there to transfer us to our digs. The boat trip because of the strong wind did cause a bit of seasickness. There was a lot of side to side rocking. I managed to stay OK though felt a tad uncomfortable from time to time but Liz felt a bit queasy though through a mix of sleep and willpower managed to hold things off and we arrived without any technicolor events. You get these days from time to time. Not much you can do but go into some waiting zone, google, write blogs, go for walks, chat. We had left our hotel in Napflio at 11.20 am and arrived at our new one just after 2.00am. 15 hours. The ferry mob were apologetic and free cokes came round and we were told we could all claim a free ferry ride in the future. Do they do Tasmania? We crawled into bed.

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