#why do you treat your dad like this

[uncanny-tranny]

If you mess with somebody's mobility/life-preserving aid and all you got was yelled at by the disabled person in question, just know you got off easy. Fucking with somebody's aid can easily become a matter of life-or-death, so you have to understand why somebody would "lash out" about that.

#disability #ableism #ableism tw #reminder that fucking with somebody's aid can easily be classified under physical assault (which is what it is) #still fuming about the time my dad talked about how other people would fuck with his CPAP machine since it *has* to be plugged in an outlet #like. do you understand that not having a CPAP machine can easily either severely negatively affect somebody or kill them.. #like why would the thought even cross your mind to risk somebody's life or wellbeing like that #but like. it just kind of reminds me that people can be really thoughtless about what they do and cause and effect #like at this point it's self-defense in my eyes and if you're yelled at i don't have sympathy #i will understand if you thought you were being nice but that's where my understanding ends #this is why i like when people have huge patches/stickers on their aids that are like 'DO NOT TOUCH ME' or 'I WILL BITE IF YOU TOUCH ME' #just as examples. but like. yes you shouldn't need to put that there in the first place but it is iconic #it is in-your-face and direct and it reminds everybody around you that it is up to *them* to treat *you* as an equal to abled people #it is bleak though and i hate that people have the need to put them there in the first place #if i ever needed to use more visible or 'obtrusive' aids then i'd absolutely do the same thing though

[hecksupremechips]

Ever think about Date’s view on family and how that relates to his character? When Mizuki asks him to define family, he just awkwardly offers that its like being blood related to someone. It leaves a bitter taste in his mouth and Mizukis, but like, he literally had no idea what a real family looks like. He’s an orphan, a man who grew up with no family and no name, but he doesn’t know that yet. He has no memory of his past, no way of knowing if there’s someone out there waiting for him to come home, if he even had a place to call home. His only frame of reference for a family is Mizuki and her parents. Deep down he knows it’s not right, not loving, but it fits the mold of a nuclear family, man and woman, blood related, so that must be what family is. When he’s asked to take in Mizuki, he’s absolutely clueless because he literally has zero frame of reference for how a child is supposed to be cared for. He puts distance between them because this isn’t his place, he doesn’t have the right to love this child as his own because he isn’t the real dad. There’s no place for someone like him in a family. And it’s baffling to him to hear that Mizuki not only loves him, she needs him because he is her family. Date believes he’s a nobody, just a sad, lonely man with no name who absolutely does not deserve this kind of love. But he has it anyway because he chooses it, he makes something that neither he nor Mizuki have ever had before. HES HOME

#aitsf #ai the somnium files #kaname date #mizuki date #just crying about the date family for the millionth time nothing new #also i just had this realization that like date literally had absolutely ZERO clue what he was doing #cuz its not like he remembers his own childhood so he cant use that as a frame of reference for how to treat his own child #and yet despite this he does a much better job than renju and shoko ever did just because he like. actually loves mizuki lol #honestly kinda fucking insane that date was asked to take care of her instead of hitomi #like renju has a choice between his long term friend who hes really close with and who he knows has lots of experience in childcare #versus his silly friend who lives in the smallest apartment with tons of debt and has literally never seen a baby before #then again thats probably why he didnt choose hitomi cuz he probably wanted to keep mizuki separate from the family he actually cares about #also for meme purposes its just like date is like wow renju youre literally the worst dad ever #and renju is like well okay hotshot if you think its so easy then how about you raise my daughter asshole #and date is like okie and does a significantly better job at it #i love kaname date so fucking much you guys will never understand what we have 😩

[relicsongmel]

The Hawthorne twins suffered more than Jesus

#mel's musings #dahlia hawthorne #iris hawthorne #local woman going feral over sister iris ace attorney for the 261478th time. more at 11 #aa #thinking about. how at one point they were the daughters of the fey clan's MAIN FAMILY #meaning one of them was in line to become master at some point #(i waffle on which one it was bc there's no clear answer in canon but if anyone else has thoughts do feel free to share) #imagine being in that position. and then discovering you have no spiritual powers #and everyone (including your own mother) starts treating you like shit for it. and you're too young to really understand why #and then your mom gets shown up by her younger sister which only makes things WORSE for all of you #and then said younger sister makes a mistake and disappears with no explanation #and your dad takes you away from everything you've ever known. and your mom is so broken and angry that she doesn't even fight it #nor make any effort to reunite with either of you again. and at this point. in a world that hates you and has cast you aside time and again #all you have is each other. no fucking wonder they went off the rails after that #they are both so desperate for love and agency over their own lives that they'll do ANYTHING to get there #and the collateral damage is an afterthought. GODDDD they make me so unwell i love them so so much

[melrosing]

anyway in an absolutely wild turn of events I think I’m free of my hideous job and like. substantially richer for it??? lmao 2023 you really owed me

#ok so this a lot of personal shit but I’m just gonna incredulously vent into the tags #like I don’t even know how to describe what 2023 in this job has been like lol #since April they’ve been insulting and scrutinising and scapegoating me over absolutely everything #they were really angling for just firing me outright for never measuring up to their constantly shifting and increasingly bizarre goalposts #and it got so personal man they kept insisting that it wasn’t but my god #then my dad gets sick and it suddenly becomes awkward for them to keep insulting and overworking me #so they switch to just ignoring me entirely so they don’t have to reckon w what me and my family are going through #like they never ask how he is or how things are going just every Friday they say hey do you reckon you can take more work on again? #and THEN I get a gut infection and suddenly im being guilt tripped for taking sick leave and pestered for evidence #it was giving like ‘we had to give you time off for your dad but now you’re taking the piss’ #to the point I DID reach out to a third party at the company and was like ‘I’m sorry but why the fuck are they treating me like this’ #and she was like ‘confidentially this is disgusting and I advise you to report it’ #WHEN SUDDENLY I get back from sick leave and it’s like ‘the business is falling short so we have to make some redundancies….’ #and now they’ve had to pay me a SUBSTANTIAL sum to fuck off!!! I think I win??? #like I was so close to quitting but thank god I didn’t because now I’m getting a sweet deal to fuck off with no notice lmao #i leave end of the month #at first I was shocked like y’all really doing this now??? but suddenly I’m like. this is the best possible thing that could’ve happened #I spoke to that third party again and she was like ‘I am so happy for you’ like omfg it was a curveball but we’ll take it!!! #I’m fucking outta here and in due course I WILL be writing on glassdoor how fucked they are

[lesbiansanemi]

I am so fucking sick of living with my roommate and his fuck ass boyfriend. Also watching my roommate burn every single one of his (already rather minimal, I might add) bridges for this guy is also kind of painful but also his relationship with me is one of said bridges so I'm almost past the point of even feeling bad for him lmao

#i have had to piss for probably the better part of an hour now #because they decided to take a shower together and have been in there for well OVER an hour now #and this is a nightly occurence atp sometimes MULTIPLE times a day #we have one bathroom.... can yall not be considerate enough to not be in there for up to TWO HOURS AT A TIME??? #also it's such a waste of fucking water.... #idk we've hit a point where i literally hear the bf doing anything and i get pissed off #but also tell me why i'm sitting in my room (which shares a wall with the bathroom) and i can hear this man hacking and spitting shit up #and this is also something that happens multiple times a day #like.... dude.... why are you spitting up toothpaste so fucking loudly oh my fucking god #but yeah no i'm like my roommate's only friend atp and he's about to not have me lmao like we're about to reach #'i'm cutting you off when i move out' levels of me being pissed off with this whole situation type shit #and apparently the bf convinced him to come out to his family which his mom was chill which is good #his dad's side of the family though....? not great. and my roommate KNEW that would be the case cuz we'd talked about it before #also love that my roommate has constantly talked about moving out of the city we live in because he hates and also there's no good career #opportunities for him here (which is true) #and now. MAGICALLY. he's like 'idk i think it'd be best for me to stay here' #like oh my GOD???? are you hearing yourself???? are you fucking stupid???? you fucking hate it here??? #but sure throw your life away and ruin all your meaningful relationships for a guy you met six months ago jfc #and the thing is i *know* my roommate we've been close CLOSE friends for nearly a decade now #i know he is not like this.... like yeah he's being insane by allowing this but also i know these aren't the kinds of decisions he would ma #and also i know he wouldn't treat me like this all on his own #it's the deranged fucking control freak of a guy he decided to date and my roommate has too many of his own issues to put his foot down #about certain things and tell the guy no so he's just allowing him to completely take over his life #and fuck everything up until the bf is the only thing he has left once it's all said and done #and yeah. it's painful to watch. but also wtf am i supposed to do because obviously my opinion is not respected nor wanted regarding this #that has been made PAINFULLY clear #ugh this is so fucking horrendous #what is it with ppl who start to date someone and then go clinically fucking insane and destroy their lives all for this one person #who. realistically. they barely know in comparison to all the other ppl in their life #like explain it to me jfc

[homeless202]

Eunyung and stealing

HJ | Parallels | Details

Eunyung had never stolen anything before the first time he was accused of it, after running away the first time. He didn't steal those headphones, yet still got beaten up for it.

His dad didn't even let him explain himself before starting to hit him. Only afterwards did EY get the chance to say he didn't do it so his dad could hear, who ofc didn't care enough to believe him. Instead of trusting him or at least listening to him, he asked EY to apologize for sth he didn’t do and just get the whole thing over with.

^^ Here, EY was caught off guard by his dad's "gentleness" (<- not hitting him) when he leaned down and whispered to him (hence the small blush above). To me, it seems like he had a sliver of hope that his dad would be nice to him for once. But the gentleness vanished quickly as his dad then proceeded shaming and guilt-tripping him into apologizing (hence the blush below).

That tactic didn't work bc EY knows how unfair the thing he's being asked to do is. He knows he's innocent bc he really didn't steal anything. When he refused and insisted he really didn't do it, his dad pulled the "I'm so disappointed in you. You never change"-card.

Now, that tactic worked. In the end he just gave in and apologized as told in order to avoid more conflict and finally get out of that uncomfortable situation -> Something like resignation

(^^ This also ties into why EY was so upset with HJ's words during Thanksgiving's arc -> he hates the idea that he can't change and will stay like this forever. That's also a reason why he apologized despite being innocent -> EY wanted to prove his dad wrong: He can change. He can be something other than a disappointment not worth anyone's time.)

The guy who actually did it got away with it and EY got made fun of for being stupid enough to take the blame. He sought out the guy to take revenge bc he knew there'd be no other type of justice for someone like him.

His dad’s actions that day (wrongly accusing and forcing EY to take the blame) is what pushed him to try stealing -> If he was going to suffer the consequences anyway, he should at least benefit from it somehow by actually stealing sth and profit from whatever he stole. That way the accusation would at least be valid.

That day, EY learned to seek justice by himself because no one else would; and he learned to steal. He started stealing in his first year of middle school, one month after running away from home for the first time. All because of his dad. EY never had a father, he had the opposite of a role model -> he knew what he did not want to be.

#<EY's dad taught him to steal. EY never had anyone in his corner standing up for him. Ey did NOT want to be like his dad.> #this is again the 'growing into the role everyone around you gives you' #if you run away and are homeless people will expect you to engage in criminal behavior and steal things you need #<- you've already been assigned that role/label. #if people will assume and treat you like you're a criminal no matter what you do (and therefore suffer the consequences of said assumption) #you have nothing to lose. if you actually start stealing. nothing will change and no one would be surprised #your reputation will stay the same. however. this time you'll at least have the headphones you took when no one was looking to enjoy. #'everyone already thinks i'm a delinquent. might as well. why not? especially if i'm going to get sth out of it' #<- i'm trying to explain his thought process i hope it makes some sense #(guess what my major and minor are. i bet u won't get it right) #also if you look at how ey's dad treats and talks to him. you can see exactly where his issues with some of hj's words stem from: #'don't say i can't change. don't look at me like i'm trash or not worth your time.' #'don't dismiss what i'm saying/doing. stop flaunting your strength at me/hurting me for no reason.' #<- to name a few #no home #no home manhwa #meta #stealing arc #multipart #집이 없어 #webtoon #eunyung baek #ey hj parallels

[the-gayest-tree-you-ever-did-see]

people are 16 and posting about their pregnancies and babies on tiktok and bragging it is truly over forever

#2006 mom and 2008 dad IM SORRY???????? #even past the teen pregnancy 16 and 18 are so fucking far when youre that young #also im not saying this like ugh we should shun teen parents and treat them like trash NO #but can we talk about this spike. why are there so many now i thought it was dropping. #and why is it suddenly bragging rights you are so young!!!!! having a child is such a big fucking deal why are you doing it at 16 #out of CHOICE??????? #the tree speaks #and people are jealous and saying not everyone goes to school or college and if they have money and space its fine #girl. they are CHILDREN. #more than that it almost feels like. its for clout right. like im not speculating thats genuinely what it is #so more than even the parents who were profiting off of their kids and influencer culture's impact on any kid right now #its kids who are affected by that having children specifically to raise them in that environment #and i get you know finding community online especially in that situation when #closer family and friends might push you away #but this is not what that is. and its fucking scary.

[colorful-horses]

finished season 2 of miraculous ladybug!

I dont mean to sound nitpicky about a children's show meant for children. Buuut it feels a little weird to me that the neglect/abuse Adrien experiences from his father is never played for laughs, but Chloes extremely horrible mom being awful to her is literally the whole punchline of their relationship?

Like I realize part of it is "Well Chloe is mean too, so they can bond over how awful they are Together", but that just makes me feel kinda icky because it means Chloe can never improve as a person UNLESS she's fine with her mother not loving her lol

#not to overanalyze a show meant for 10 year olds #im more just pointing out the difference in how their abusive parents are portrayed and how......strange it is #adriens dad is constantly being shown to be horrible. and they never ever make a joke out of it #but i guess since Chloe is the designated 'Mean Girl' its funny to watch her mom constantly forgetting her name #constantly yelling at her and treating her like shes garbage #chloe gets really good small moments of humanity here and there #but then they had that scene where she finally gets her mother to show interest in her and #its literally just because chloe is like 'i can be an bitch too mom!!!'. which just makes me very sad #chloe redemption arc please. i wanna see her yell at her horrible mom lol #miraculous ladybug #i finished season 2 today. there was so many good hawkmoth moments this season #but i do find it very funny that he akumatized like ..... 5 different six year olds this season #i am making such an extended list of notes about this show as I watch it #im gonna make the next 7 hr long video essay. but itll be about miraculous ladybug lol #my favorite character is still chat noir btw #thanks for reading this far #i will now kiss you on the lips. mwah #tell me who YOUR favorite miraculous ladybug character is and why. i am not super into the fandom side. ive just been watching the show #i wanna know what characters are popular and which ones are hated hehehe #not pony

[lovestryke]

i think if you grew up in my household you would have put a gun to my mom and dad's heads already

#help i came home and they got so ballistic that i didnt say hi to them #after my 9 months of driving myself home and entering the house from work not once have they urged a greeting out of me #why the hell do they care now??? #like mom got so mad and i was like um ok * goes back to watching danny gonzalez * then i get shouted at to come to parents room #and im like siiiighhh let me put on my jacket i know this will be a while #and im just getting yelled at and standing there like. is the song and dance over yet. can i get back to my computer #and my dad is like your MOM and I DONT TREAT YOU GUYS LIKE THAT #and im just in my head like.....you give us greetings rather than treating us like human beings.....ok....i would prefer the respect rather #than the greetings.... #and my dads like whenever I come home I always greet everyone #and its like. yeah ? i can think of a few times where you havent but it doesnt matter when its you right #oh you can come home and greet everyone yeah but can you treat us with respect? are you capable of not having everyone groan when they hear #your car horn that indicates you're home? do you have the ability to not make everyone hide and vacate to their rooms when they hear your #key unlocking the door? no? then i dont care about the fact you can say hi to everyone #and mom is like lecturing me and my sister about not cleaning as well and its like hi what about your husband #hi maybe you should question why we cant clean our rooms #maybe its the fact you never taught us how to organize or how often to clean? did you know you've never taught us how to properly clean? #did you know i cant clean without a timer? are you aware that your eldest daughter that gives you attitude and promised to be mean when #she's taking care of you in your last years of life doesnt clean whatsoever? the 26 year old that acts just like your husband? the one whos #only chore is to wash dishes and doesnt even do that? she complains shes too tired because of work but even on her off days she doesnt do i #? do you remember that she only does the dishes when she's going out with a boy? do you remember the 3 months where i took it upon myself t #do everyones chores because i had the time? the way you dont acknowledge i helped out a lot during that time and helped keep peace through #the house by doing that? you dont because you love to focus on the negatives and as a result you make your own life miserable #and everyone else's?especially mine because im the one who actually feels guilt? but dont do it bc im tired of doing someone else's work?

[iqmmir]

Seeing takes on sw makes me so mad i just wanted to see fa

#have you considered. he had to raise himself #his father basically told him that 'you must see everyone as pieces' when he was like FIVE. #his mother also stopped trying to treat him like a child #bro was S EVEN. HIS FATHER WAS KILLED. OFC HE WAS MAD #OF FUCKING COURSE HE WAS #and then a bunch of ADULTS BASICALLY RAISED HIM TO BE A SECOND VERSION OF HIS DAD. #yes he is screwed in the head but HAVE YOY CONSIDERED WHY. #he had to raise himself #he had to deal with an uncle who hated him for no reason other than he is his father's son #the same uncle who killed his father #I CAN GO ON AND ON ABOUT HIM ACTUALLY #mainly i hate the takes that demonize him for being aroace and #those that r like 'you should not have betrayed yona' #sorry if youre raised to do smth and there's no one to get yoy out of the situation #and and. if he backed out do yoy think the nobles wouldve not tried to do something to him???? #you think he WANTED to do that to yona???? #you thinm he enjoys seeing his only two friends ever hate him and look at him with so much distrust ??????? #.mimiming ❜

[pussymasterdooku]

[continues to utilize a tag-only approach to personal posts because that’s the way my brain is wired i guess]

#today on allie liveblogs her parents divorce #alhpd #so my dad has his horrifying little friendship with his 25 year old employee who he treats Very Differently from his other employees #which i can’t even get into but it has been a huge point of contention in my parents’ already long-contentious marriage #for about six months now #she lived with them and it was NOT right #but now they’re all in florida. and my parents are going to her family’s thanksgiving. my mother does NOT want to be doing this #and my dad just called to wish us a happy thanksgiving #and i was like. have fun at the [redacted]s lol. and he was like Haha Your Mom Is Mad. I Can’t Win! I Just Won’t Say A Word All Night! Ha! #and it’s like. dude. you are the one who cornered her into going to her personal thanksgiving from hell #if you listened to her for ONE SECOND EVER you might uh. understand why the move would have been to NOT GO TO THIS THANKSGIVING #and then you WOULD NOT HAVE THIS PROBLEM #you’d think now that she’s actually used the d word he’d make more of an effort but it is 1-forward 5-back with him #We Are All Trying So Hard For You Stephen. 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪 #a ten is blogging

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

oh my god i'm so in love with all the fic ideas you talked about, but especially the last two with the castles kidnapping matt in like a friendly and well-meaning way. it's so funny to me and also the dynamic here would be absolutely excellent. never realised i needed a pro-crime hyper-competent maria castle in my life but apparently i do???

the dynamic in those, but especially the christmas one, is fucking hilarious. i love it so much. i'd write it tomorrow if i had the time

like the castles are treating this like one of those times where you pick up a puppy out of a cardboard box in a kmart parking lot and like, it's a little scrawny and underfed and feral and yeah, it probably would have been smarter to pick one out of the shelter where at least you know they've been checked out and have their shots and everything, but you know, the kids wanted one so bad and it's christmas, and it's cold and the poor thing's probably going to freeze to death in the cardboard box, so you bring it home, and suddenly it's in these new and unfamiliar surroundings and it keeps trying to skitter out the front door every time it opens, so maybe you have to keep it in a back room or tied up for a while and you hand feed it treats until it stops trying to run away and like, you know eventually the puppy's going to warm up to you as long as you treat it right and when that happens you'll have a happy new member of the family that you can probably shove felt reindeer antlers on for the family christmas card

meanwhile matt's treating this like a fucking kidnapping

#it's so funny to me #like matt is somehow in the minority in thinking kidnapping an adult man is a big deal #normally he'd be able to hurl is body out a third story window and fuck off #but devastantly frank is one of the few people on the planet that can go toe to toe with him on a good day #and he keeps dragging matt off the windowsills and acting like matt's being ridiculous for trying to escape his own kidnapping #also he could try to just fuckin. kick flip frank #but it's so much harder to do that to maria and the kids #and it's SO AWKWARD to get into a physical confrontation with the dad of the kids whose lives you saved and who idolize you now #like merry christmas kids i need to punch your dad #maybe the real kidnapping was the societal conventions we found along the way #also matt's not super at one hundred percent on account of he took on the CIA in a t-shirt and sweatpants and like he WON but it's not GOOD #matt spends this entire time like 'please stop trying to teach me about the magic of christmas time' #'i need you to start treating this hostage situation seriously this is a federal crime you are committing a FEDERAL CRIME' #and maria's engaging in mild gaslighting like 'that's a bit dramatic dear here have a sugar cookie' #matt: 'i don't want a sugar cookie i want you to UNLOCK THE HANDCUFFS' #see the thing is that i'm absolutely convinced teh castles are absolutely fucking insane all of them #like we know frank is not above zip tying a child to the bed and kidnapping her for her own safety #maybe they're just all like that #the moral of the story is that this nice young man helped them and is living a horrible fucking existence so there's no reason why #they can't forcefully adopt him and make him take his medication and recover in their nice guest bedroom instead of a fucking boiler room #like this is 60% physical force and 40% a guilt trip keeping him captive

[bowlofr1ce]

Stuff has been on my mind lately. And I can’t stop thinking about it.

I am giggling and kicking my legs that something I’ve been waiting over a year and a half for will be releasing soon. Every time I ask my friends “should I go for it?” And they always responded with “wait” and it’s just been like this every single time. And it’s finally happening.

But then in the back of my mind I hear “are you sure you really want to do this?” “it’s a lot of money. and your current employment is in jeopardy.” And then I tell that voice “I have been waiting for months! I have been waiting! For SO LONG! And I am SICK! AND TIRED! OF WAITING!” But then that voice retaliates “THINK about the money though! THINK about what mom and dad would think.” And that immediately halts me in my track. This is something I’ve been waiting a long, long time for. It’s a large scale investment that I’m willing to make with my own hard earned money. And yet. I fear that they’ll think I just sunk a lot of money on another toy. It’s not a toy, it’s basically a console. It’s the equivalent of buying a Switch 2 or a PlayStation 6 or something that will be in the future! But I’m scared. It’s fricking half a grand. I have the ability to spend that sort of money. I have the security to spend that sort of money. But I’m scared to make the leap. I’m scared of, well, spending money. And my parents, who usually make really good financial decisions, they might judge me because I indulged in something that I’m interested in. And it’s not what I’m interested in that’s the problem. It’s the cost that’s the problem. If I were to ask dad if I should go for the older, soon-to-be-irrelevant, cheaper option or the newer, more future proof, yet more expensive option, dad would probably say to go for the newer one.

Thing is I don’t know if they know this is something I want to do. I’m scared of how they’ll react if I suddenly said “hey! I wanna spend $500!” Like it’s something I just came up on the spot. Like no! This is something I’ve been thinking about and researching for years, and I decided that this is something I will be doing since over last year, and now this year, I am deciding to take that leap! But I’m still scared. I’m scared of the loss of money, and my current employment situation not looking good at the moment now that college kicked in. I’m scared of my parents who i feel should be okay if I explain myself about this but he problem is that they don’t give me a chance to speak. And especially mom if she has her mind on something it’s hard to take her mind off of that. (I.e. if she thinks you did something wrong, that means that you did something wrong, even if you didn’t do anything. And you can’t explain yourself either. I told this to mom that we should be able to explain herself but she basically dismissed that saying “explaining yourself won’t fix things. If you explain yourself with ‘oh, I needed money’ after robbing a bank, that doesn’t make what you did okay” LIKE??? THIS AND THAT ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SITUATIONS!!)

I suppose the only thing that will stop me from making this leap when it’s possible isn’t the money, but the fear of judgement and disapproval from my parents from doing so. And unfortunately, I’ve come to realize that this dictated most of the decisions I made in life.

#for context what I’m talking about is the upcoming quest 3 #and to clear any possible misunderstandings I am not abused! my family loves me very much (a rarity it seems nowadays) and I love them back #and I couldn’t ask for anything more! #however this doesn’t mean I don’t have anything bad to say about them. especially mom #I never feel listened to when it comes to bigger situations with her. which is why I usually come to my dad for these sort of things. #she literally told me ‘I am a parent and you are a child. we are not the same. therefore I do not treat you the same. #my job as a parent is to raise you right. not make you happy. and your job as my child is to respect and obey me.’ LIKE?????? #OKAY GUESS IM NOT HUMAN THEN??! #I just- It’s hard to justify not being an abused child when putting it like this in the view of the child. but I swear I’m not! #she’s not always like that. very rarely she ever does this. all I wish is to have a voice. maybe then I won’t be so scared of talking to her #yeah. #vent #rambling

[lux-astrorum]

also more thoughts later but oh to have a wedding independent of any references to gender

#my cousins ceremony had a part where her dad gave 'the key to her heart' to her husband and vice versa with his mom #like i cant imagine if i did that???!? what is my mom chopped liver????? #but also i just hate hate HATE the concept of 'giving away your child' in particular your daughter at a wedding #people don't BELONG to anyone #not their parents #not their new spouse #this is literally a tradition rooted in treating women as property like why are we still doing this. #and its not like your relationship with your parents becomes lesser once you have a spouse??? Or even inherently different??? #why are wedding ceremonies so dumb especially complementarian Christian ones #guys now i have to get married just so i can show everyone how its done!!!! i HAVE to get an A in wedding now. #// #personal

[zemnarihah]

much to think about.

#i had lunch w my sister today and she was talking abt our dad and abt how him being like emotionally abusive made her a huge people pleaser #and she was like yeah i think you didnt get that as much #you were always the one who stuck to your guns or just didnt talk to him #and at first i was like what bc i literally dont think anything i ever did could be rlly described as actually sticking to ones guns i alwa #felt like i was so avoidant of any conflict w him bc yk i was like. terrified of him. but i was thinking abt it and compared to her i think #like yeah actually shes right? bc i would avoid conflict w him but i did that by like fully cutting off our relationship as much as #possible and she did it by trying to please him all the time. which probably neither were that healthy obviously they were jsut like. our #instincts for how to protect ourselves yk. but the thing is for the past few months i thought i had been learning how to not be so scared #of making ppl mad and to be more assertive and stuff. but i think actually i probably have always had that strength maybe it was just. #kinda beaten down for a while since standing up for myself always made things worse. so the other option to not allow him to treat me like #that was to cut myself off from him. But i still did that yk? idk. #like i was thinking more abt it and #i was the one who left the church at 18. after i moved out but i did. and i didnt hide it after that. my sister has apparently been mentall #out for years now and nobody in our family knows but me. bc she is so scared to disappoint him. and like idk. i always was like why couldnt #i get out earlier bc i know so many ppl who just said fuck you im not going anymore at like 14 or smth and i was like why couldnt i do that #but i guess looking at it from my sisters pov our situation was just really fucking hard. and i guess im realizing i was honestly a lot #stronger and braver than i thought i was that whole time. idk. #lol its like bittersweet. bc it makes it so much more real that it was actually super fucked up. the way we grew up. like i think sometimes #the easiest thing is for me to go haha yeah my dad was kind of a dick and whooaaahhh so crazy i grew up mormon hahah! but its like no that #was fucked up. but look at how i made it through that yk. its kind of making me. idk. develop some more respect for myself i guess #idk idk #ignore me i am just journal posting . lol #exmo tag