#why does everything in my life have to suck

[utilitycaster]

Ok I'm probably going to regret reinventing 17th century European religious philosophy here but:

Ludinus's issue with the gods as stated to Imogen and Fearne (and I will state right now that we know he was lying or deliberately misleading at points in that conversation so I don't exactly take him at his word, but let's assume he does mean this) is that they did not prevent the Calamity. I have the following questions.

Does he have any loyalty/feelings about the Titans given that they would have killed all the people in the era of the Schism, ie, the gods averted that Calamity? My guess is no, which means that whole avenue of discussing the Titans was something of a dead end.

How should Calamity have been averted? The Prime Deities during the Age of Arcanum largely let people do what they wanted, which is what led to one of those mortals releasing the Betrayer Gods. Should the gods have struck down Vespin Chloras before he actually did anything, Minority Report style? Can the gods even predict based on the actions of a single individual or small group, because my guess is they can't, particularly since within the current stream of gameplay they absolutely cannot [ie, the reason the Changebringer can't tell FCG to stay or run is because Matt Mercer is the Changebringer and he doesn't know how people will roll; you do need to consider the medium here]. But if they could: so you think they should strike down mortals on the basis of thoughtcrimes? Or control them? In that case, why is Aeor a problem? There's a lot you can argue is justified once you permit the gods to override free will and kill people over mere potential for catastrophe.

On that note, Laerryn both was an unwitting architect of the Calamity (shorted on energy and then killed the Tree of Names, which served as a core planar defense system) but also averted the worst of it. Did the lives she saved by preventing the rise of Rau'shan and Ka'Mort outweigh the lives she took by destroying the Tree of Names? How should the gods have reacted?

Should, perhaps, the gods have all sealed themselves away earlier - perhaps post-Schism? If so, then the issue isn't the Divine Gate, now is it? Should the gods intervene or not intervene? Should they remove themselves or no? It feels like the issue isn't that they distanced themselves so that they can do less in the world, particularly if you wish to kill them, but that you really want to fucking kill them and they made that somewhat more difficult.

How do we know the gods (for example) didn't save Laudna? She was hanged and she's still alive; Morri would probably count this as saving her and I don't see the same desire to wipe out all Archfey. [real talk I find most discussion of Laudna specifically to be...incomprehensibly ignorant in its refusal to acknowledge that everything about it is player agency related, whether it's the story that the cast played out for Vox Machina or the decisions Marisha specifically made in creating the character, ie, do you think Matt should have said "well you can't play a Hollow One because that would mean the gods didn't save you" not to mention the fact that again, we are playing this within a game system where the existence Deus Ex Machina would in fact fucking suck ass; but even setting aside those reasons why this argument is stupid, it's still stupid. It's like a layer cake of stupid.] Again: do you want more intervention or less? Killing them guarantees less.

I'm assuming the problem with the Calamity is the vast loss of life, in which case, what's the math on how many people have been killed by the Vanguard or Imperium in the pursuit of unleashing Predathos? How many more will die?

If the release of Predathos doesn't result in the immediate demise of all the gods, and the Divine Gate is down, why isn't this a recipe for Calamity 2? What was the motivation for killing the gods again?

Should we kill mortal diviners who do not do all within their power to stop terrible things that may come to pass? If the issue is that some people have power without working for it, why haven't we killed all the sorcerers?

Should we be listening to a single word from someone who consumes random fey to live longer, and that's just the start of the CVS receipt of atrocities?

Is there a point where one's deeply held beliefs due to one's own personal trauma become invalidated due to one's actions as a result of that trauma? If so, why is the limit for Orym "is okay with killing people who are trying, directly, to kill you (which, frankly, isn't even a trauma response, that's just called not wanting to die, which I highly recommend as a personal philosophy), and gets upset when people defend those knowingly collaborating with his family's murderers" and the limit for Vanguard generals "family abandonment/just. buckets of murder of innocents./child soldier recruitment in multiple different contexts/eating fey as biohacking/destroying an entire city and the surrounding forest for hundreds of years (ongoing)/imperialism in multiple different contexts/I was going to make a gallows humor joke about how while neither exist in-world they've violated the Geneva Convention AND the IRB for testing on human subjects multiple times over but actually those both are in fact written in a lot of the same blood/probably some others that I'm forgetting"

#i feel ultimately a lot of this fandom debate boils down to yes this is obviously fiction #but like within the fiction can you sketch out the implications of your argument or is it just a lot of abstract ideals that can't coexist #I don't actually expect answers to these; obviously the point is if you think there is an easy one there isn't #anyway i'm like if an enlightenment era polymath were a religiously observant agnostic who used the phrase fucking suck ass #cr spoilers #cr tag

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for asking my friend to stop saying 'me too' whenever I'm talking about my problems?

My friend is someone I'm relatively close with and I know has anxiety that she struggles with, so I'm not saying she doesn't understand pain or issues. But every time I muster the courage to mention the trust issues that I have because my mom passed away when I was 10 and I just have this permanent fear of losing everyone, she's just like 'I know right, like I literally don't trust anyone. It's like a problem' And then proceeds to spill her guts to me for like an hour. Which is perfectly fine, I'm glad she trusts me, but she also does this whenever I'm talking about how I don't like to talk about my own emotions. Another trauma response honestly, since the last thing my parents needed when I was a kid was my stupid emotions and none of the other 2nd graders wanted hear about my dying mom so I learned not to talk about it. But she just treats it almost as a joke, an offhand remark about how much her life sucks. Like she talks about how she never sleeps and science homework is the worst thing in the world. I don't want to sound like I feel superior, but I feel like our world views are just different. It's rare that things bother me, since I feel like I just understand that there are more important things, and the way she compares her important things to mine just feels unnecessary. And all this really rubs me the wrong way. I find it very hard to be anyone but myself, and I don't want to ruin our friendship, but I also can't go on just pretending her actions don't bother me and make me clam up even more. So would I be the asshole if I tried to bring up my concerns with her?

(Btw, I only brought up the personal reasons behind my issues to give more context as to why I felt offended she was acting like our situations were one in the same, not to try and get you to pity me or anything. Please don't take that into account. I just know she talks to me about almost everything in her life, and none of it truly seems like it would cause many of the issues she claims to have but never really showcases. She could still have these issues, obviously, but she just really doesn't seem to and never brings it up unless I do first and then cuts me off to mention herself)

#aita #am i the asshole

[yuri-is-online]

Tokyo Debunker Intro Text/Notes

When the world is collapsing around you... Whose hand will you take?

It appears that whoever is asking this question is lighting a mesmer match, and blows it out just before we transition to the character select screen. The voice actor feels to me like the MC's, implying she could be asking this question of and using the match on herself.

Since Ancient times, humans have gathered around fires, fearing the fall of an eternal night. Yet they cannot help but peer into the shadows that hide in old places and pool in empty streets. Foolishly they yearn for it-- For the unknown that lies beyond the edge of darkness.

As this text plays the MC is running through a burning building that seems like it is the school's main hallway.

The following text does not change no matter what dialogue option you pick:

Frostheim

Luca

"I'm sorry... Yet again I have failed to protect the people most important to me... Please don't make that face. This is the only path left."

Jin

"We were just playing out a fixed match. And I was nothing but a figurehead all along... There's no time left. Get out of here. That's my final order to you."

Tohma

"Just look at the state of your hair. You really ought to go get tidied up. You simply cannot help but stick your nose in everywhere, can you?* I'm counting on you to handle the fallout."

*this is said fondly, he's not actually upset

Kaito

"I really was weak and useless all the way to the bitter end, huh? I'm sorry. I'm probably just delaying the inevitable, but... this is all a guy like me can do, you know?"

Vagastrom

Sho

"What're you doing here? Geez... What am I supposed to do, huh? I'm the only guy for the job. Pfft... what's with that face? At least send me off with a smile. Well... it's been a fun ride. Thanks for everything.*"

*Sho refers to the MC as senpai when addressing them

Alan

"Don't come any closer. I don't want to hurt you any more... Time's up. Sorry..."

Leo

"Life sucks and then you die, right? I just want to make the assholes responsible regret it. Gross, don't make that face at me. You think I'm suddenly pathetic enough to be moved by your ugly crying?"

Jabberwock

Towa

"Heh heh... ♪"*

Haru

"Gahaha! Why the long face? Head on back now. Everything's gonna be just fine.* I just couldn't do it in the end. Couldn't protect my home, or you guys, or anything at all..."

*this first part is said very upbeat before transitioning into a very defeated sounding, quieter tone. almost like he is talking to himself while still addressing mc

Ren

"This is exactly why I didn't want to do this! I knew this was how it was gonna end! What am I even doing here? This is all your fault..."

Sinostra

Ritsu

"I see you've guessed my intention. It's of little consequence. I suggest you get as far from here as you can. Father... I was unworthy to be your son. I hope you can forgive me."

Taiga

"Gyahaha! Time to cash in your chips! Guess this while thing was just a busted flush*, huh? Tell me something, would you? What could I have done different to change this outcome?"

*poker term, also slang for "a promising person or thing that turns out to be unsuccessful"

Romeo

"Tch. What do you want? Coming up here now... you're just getting in my way! I've got one last job for you. Tell everyone I looked flawless in my final moments."

Hotarubi

Haku

"Sorry. Guess I couldn't be the guy you wanted me to be. Ha. Ha... Don't look at me like that. Never lost faith in me, did you?*"

*it's brief, but I think I caught him thanking the MC. Also he's got some serious crazy eyes as he falls...

Subaru

"This is all my fault. I don't expect you to forgive me, but this is the least I can do... Please take this as my final act of good faith."

Zenji

"Ha ha... All the greatest literary masters departed this world before their time. I won't be leaving a masterpiece behind... but if I can save you, and our friends, I could ask for nothing more."

Obscuary

*this dorm is missing two students at the time of writing

Rui

"Ha ha... You found me! Geez, are you in love with me or something? Hey now. Don't think about trying to grab my hand. Just be happy enough for the both of us, ok?"

Mortranken

Yuri

"It's all going up in flames... all of my research... the fruit of my blood, sweat, and tears! Ha... HA HA! AH HA HA! AH HA HA HA!! Goodbye Mama..."

Jiro

"There's no coming back from this. I will struggle until it's over though. Dying always looks like it hurts. I hope I can save you at least, but don't get your hopes up. Bye."

at this point, the character will jump off the balcony the were standing on, some will reach out to the MC (Towa really looks like he is) other just kind of let the arm hang (Zenji committing to the noble sacrifice and Leo you fucking bitch-) The screen will then go black...

Please someone tell me... Where did we go wrong?

#tokyo debunker #right lots of thoughts #mostly about alan/tohma/haku/and subaru

[ducktollers]

i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images i hate you ai images I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU

#im so. i am so #this was never an issue my entire life and of COURSE just when id decided to give up on science and go back to art #theres this shit #of course OF COURSE of course of course. why would anything turn out good why would it ever #i have to post artwork and eventually im gonna have to post on instagram and probably tiktok even tho they fucking suck #this is the last place left on the internet that i WANT to be on and ofc now its throwing all of us under the fucking bus #i hope the staff are happy w however much money they get from selling our data. does that make you happy. i hope your happy #x #i dmed glaze on ig to ask for an account and they havent replied yet and ik theyre probably swamped but URGH #i dont think anyones trying to copy my style but on principle Dont fucking use my shit i need to glaze everything ive ever posted #anyways.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

As a stranger on the internet (so feel free to ignore or tell me I'm out of line) you might just be going through a grieving process. It sucks, a lot, and I don't really have any advice other than it will slowly get better, but it might help simply knowing.

Grief is different for everyone, and looks different for everyone too. But either way I hope you feel better soon <3

It's very possible, I just don't want that to be the answer because then I don't know what to do

#it feels more like im using grief as an excuse to not do anything and i find it really upsetting #i just dont kno what to do. i have a lightning talk to give tomorrow and i cant get anywhere bc when i try to get anything done i just start #crying and everything feels like a mess that i have no motivation to clean up #just everything. why did i decide to do this with my life? why couldnt i have chosen a functional career path? #i dont kno what im doing. i dont kno how im going yo get things together for my committee meeting Friday #or how ill get thru it without crying. i dont even kno what i want. i wanna talk to my dad i guess but ive never told anyone in my family #when im having a hard time and i dont kno how to do that without making him worry #ugh. tomorrow's gonna suck. so does today. i just want the semester to be over. but then i cant escape my project. so idk what i want #i want sleep for 1000 years or at least until all my problems are gone #unrelated

[writterings]

sometimes my job is like. i am being hunted for sport. if i mess one thing up, i will die. everyone here hates me and is refusing to even be civil with me and that's affecting my workload.

and then other times i finish all my work for the day at 10 AM and can just dick around and get paid $30 an hour to do it.

#i made a post a while back about my first office job about how easy it was in comparison to retail or fast food or hell even being a tutor #and someone in the replies pointed out how office jobs can also suck and be soul crushing in their own ways #i never responded to that person bc tbh i saw it like two days later and felt awkward about responding #and to that person: you are so right. but also i still prefer this. it's awful. it's horrible. but if i have to pick a poison. #then i'll pick this #but you were sooooo right #anyways. why does everyone act like everything is life or death at my nonprofit that encourages college students to do community service

[scarefox]

This episode they really showed how Uea wants sex to distract himself to make the bad feelings go away for a while and King is the only safe option (not the best way of coping maybe atm but it gets better). Hope they will make him talk about it because I feel many in the audience still don’t understand the link between sex and comfort and coping especially for an abuse victim who always turns to it after triggering events (still think this part is more about the mom, cause whenever the stepdad is part of the trigger he can’t have sex or cuddles ... at least can’t enjoy it as we have seen in this episode). Shortly said, an orgasm gives you dopamine, and it’s all your mind and body focuses on in that moment. Reasons why this could end up in an addiction under the wrong circumstances. Under the right ones it can be therapeutic and have an antidepressant effect.

Uea is a bit torn with King. The caring side of King is an unexpected surprise for him every time. He doesn't really expect kindness from people. But he's glad whenever he receives it from people he trusts. Which King became a part of way too fast for Uea to admit (he’s a player after all). That’s why he rarely shows King his smiles when he’s fond of him. I think the cake scene was one of the rare moments he truly showed him this kind of vulnerability to him (him being truly happy, it’s a delicate feeling easily snatched away under his circumstances). He also took a long time to even understand that King really means it, that this birthday cake is really for him because King really wants to make him happy and he’s allowed to take it. I wonder if the little cake fight and unceremonial bite into the cake is an emotional defense from Uea to not get too deep into vulnerable emotions and turn it into fun / silly & sexy moment instead while still keeping the good vibe.

He’s not ready for an emotional bond with him yet when they clearly stated from the beginning this will just be about sex and they don’t even like each other (we all know that’s a lie). I suspect Uea has trust issues as well since his stepdad always acts nice, caring and misunderstood... so Uea needs a while to learn if people really mean it or if they just want something from him.

I bet that will become a big issue at some point, when they both think the other has no feelings while they secretly do have feelings. I fear Uea will push King away for a while when their feelings get clearer.

#bed friend the series #bed friend #ep4 #king x uea #here have another round of trauma and coping rumbling #the reason why I can understand Uea that well is because I also have a dysfunctional fam just not THAT bad (not physical) #and I got to a few bad people outside of my fam #I have a big urge almost a survival instinct to learn human behavior since childhood #as self-defense and to navigate through this world of neurotypicals as a neurodivergent person #I basically suck up everything about WHY humans do what they do. like criminals. what trauma does to you and how mental illnesses work etc #also all the psychology and science behind sex and sexuality (including k!nk and erotic) is a big topic for me #i don't just read about that stuff I watch recordings and documentaries and interviews as well #basically down to the core of fac.ial expressions and body language and thinking patterns #learned a few things from my therapist as well #not saying I am a certified specialist I just learned a few things through my life #and while this is obviously just a tv show they still did some research

[strangerhands]

mmmmm heyyy👁️. ive basically been gone from tumblr for over two days because ive been feeling like a shitty piece of shit. BUT. i finally saw dune part 2 and ohmygoddddd it was so so good. but yes. i was missing leto so bad the entire time. Father come back pls. i need you.

#it was so good tho #like so cool i was internally freaking out about how cool things looked #the fight scenes🤌 #the environments/settings🤌 #all of the fuckin machinery🤌 #the acting🤌 #the everything🤌 #yum #also i dont find austin butler attractive but funnily enough feyd was the only time ive found him hot😭 yes i have issues. but like. okayyy.. #i watched it alone and i wish doing things alone wasnt seen as such a weird or sad thing like. theres nothing wrong with it #sorta vent-> #but basically ive been feeling like an annoying piece of shit so ive been staying off of here for the most part #because ive been convincing myself no one likes me and everyone in my life would be better off without me😝😝 #just tee bee ehch #and idk i was just feeling like ass and was doing nothing and when i finally would go to use tumblr i was already too tired to do shit #so i just went to sleep #and i was busy today #yesterday* #and ill probably be a bit busy today too but idk maybe hopefully ill catch up a bit #idk ya boys just been hating himself like usual but not as usual bc it was worse but it is what it is #i felt a bit better yesterday though #and also my new antidepressants ive been on havent been doing shit for me so im going back to a previous one i used to be on so yea #hopefully that helps soonish idk #i never vent on here so i feel kinda bad for doing so but i just wanted to puke my thoughts here #also since im already here complaining ive just like. not written at allllllll basically like i got into my head and made myself discouraged #so. that sucks. but also nothing out of the ordinary there #why does Everything i say sound so embarrassingly depressing and pathetic hhhhhhhgggggggggggggghhhghghg #anyways yea i was doing bad im still not doing good but hopefully will be a bit better so ill be back and caught up later today or tomorrow #idk if anyone gave a fuck or noticed but i just like complaining into the void so yea #talkin shit

[vulpinesaint]

mkay not to be like. a little insane or anything. but god i've been going crazy over religion (catholicism) and blood lately. did anyone else drink blood as worship every week since they were seven. was anyone else inundated with images of open wounds as holy. is anyone else consumed by the thought of holding onto a crucifix tightly enough for the edges of it to draw blood. i turned in a poem about drowning in communion wine in an empty church while bleeding from crucifix-inflicted hand wounds and trying to talk to god and my creative writing professor gave me extremely normal critiques i feel like i'm losing my mind

#is ANYONE ELSE here. #also i made my poetry insta and i was gonna backpost but i think i might just sit and stare at it until april sfkghsd #it's me and my few hundred tumblr followers on my poetry acc. and the five thousand pornbots on this one ig #life is so. like. #i CONSTANTLY think that being raised catholic didn't do that much to me but obviously it did SOMETHING #you know what. yeah. cause i didn't end up with guilt over being queer but i did end up having my whole world view torn away from me #cause when god is the fundamental building block to everything... #my parents were extremely reasonable about things all things considered #but losing trust and faith in god is like having the bottom block pulled out of your little tower #and since i was fifteen i feel like i've been trying to either get it out fully without letting it all crumble #or trying to push it back without causing more damage #and the tower's never gonna be the same no matter what. you know. #i suck at self reflection so i never actually think about this stuff but dear god does it consume me #like no i did not end up with catholic guilt really. however being asked to examine yourself as a sinner at 7 will do things to you #HATE myself why am i still awake. so fucking upset i need to be up so early tomorrow skdjfgh #screaming and crying. anyway anyone else up thinking about catholicism and blood??? #valentine notes #catholic tag

[kissporsche]

I may physically be at work but spiritually I am playing every vegaspete scene on repeat in my head

#kp orig #kinnporsche #vegaspete #unless you want to share- ​looking for something?- so we’ll see each other in the next life- oh you got a tattoo?- I give up vegas- #when you suffer you’re so much more interesting- who’s a good boy- I’m not choosing I’m just not eating- hurt you so you remember- #you’re no fun- get up and laugh at me- you think it’s poison- why do you have to compete- they don’t beat us because we suck- nosy- #went out to buy it I guess- you’re in need of love- #everything I love leaves- if you’re sad it means it was important- but you like it- let it out- #do you know how sexy you are- you’re a fool- I’m a human I have feelings- let’s start all over again just you and me- #shoot me I don’t think you can and you know why- #could it be you who kills me what the hell does that mean I love you Pete #I can’t keep betraying my feelings like this- why did you follow me Pete- because I’m hungry #I’m your pet aren’t I- won’t you turn around to see me- #I don’t want to be your burden I just want to follow my heart

[nature-played-a-trick-on-me]

Begrudgingly in therapy like I don't want to be doing this but I'm only doing this because I literally can't do anything else with my life anymore.

#i do feel like the whole 'emdr will make it worse at the start' is true rn but like #not as in crisis inducing (generally. if we stop in time) #but it DOES suck the energy and life out of me #and im also just fucking angry at everything #like why did all that shit have to happen + destroy my life for a good decade + it taking years to find therapy #like ive got a While of therapy to go and then in the meantime im to hope that in the end I'll be no longer disabled by it all #which seems like fairy fantasy land rn

[larrysballetslippers]

.

#it's been a while that I put something in the tags but Im very lost atm for reasons i don't know #i don't know if Im nervous to see my friendgroup from uni again because my ex crush is going to be there and I have to pretend everything is #fine while also not getting frustrated by that toxic friend that I can't stand anymore #or if it's because im feeling so damn empty from getting on a dating app after being rejected by said ex crush #i don't know know why Im on there my friend said it was an good idea but Im already regretting but I can't just delete it or whatever #because I actually have some people I have been talking to but why do I feel so empty then?? #why does it feel like my life has been sucked out of me today? it can't just me the amount of interaction im sure that's not it. #i thought ... i thought this would make me happy to try bew things to get more attention from people get more confident #but why can't I shake this depression like feeling off #because I know this feeling well but I hope it doesn't stay please don't stay #how will I get better like this? am I still healing? i know I am but I was fine just yesterday just yesterday I didn't think of him #so why can't I shake this? #i have no answers I have nothing and I can't talk to anyone about it either because I don't even know what's going on #please just let me understand so I can heal this fix this #please just make me okay again #i can't start the year like this #please

[thehardkandy]

I do think it's the winter getting to me but as soon as vacation ended I am digging myself further into a feeling of. Missing something important

#like i just need to go be creative and getting into the swings of passion #but I've been kinda drowning in SI more than is normal and while that's something i don't have an issue pushing through #it does make it especially difficult to create because i think about diving back into something #and it's just a big black hole where if i do it. so what. why does it matter and what is it for #and unfortunately giving into the black hole (shockingly) does not make the feeling any better #it just makes it bigger snd bigger and bigger #and everything feels so topsy turvy because more so than ever before my life looks like. more than i could have hoped for #working full time saving money eating well living independent #and it fucking sucks!!! i hate this shit!!!!! i dont wanna do this for 50 more years!!!!! #the things that bring me joy feel so secondary and insignificant cause everything i do #to give myself a good life that gives me space to ve creative and live and laugh...... doesnt do that #what do i do!!!! (rhetorical) #cause the answer is push through it. its to take my vitamin d and force myself to create #and soon enough ill be waxing poetic about how beautiful the life i have built for myself is #kinda silly how closely the feelings live together

[thedreadvampy]

honestly I am big time upset about this holiday-Pride clash for some reason and I THINK. it's that I already feel like there's not enough time for me to just like. do fun things with my friends without thinking about work. and like work is the one thing that doesn't give. so any time I do Leisure Activities they get traded out against different leisure activities and I'm only ever missing out on stuff that's GOOD and that I WANT to do. I can't be like 'hmmm hmmmm work or hang out with friends?' it's only ever 'pick which friend to hang out with in the slivers of time you have around work'

like fuck me. goddamn. there's ONE WEEK I'm taking off work and suddenly THAT'S the time everyone's going to be in the same places doing fun stuff? when I'm not there? and the only way I could be there is to not do the other fun thing I'm excited about? FUCK YOU MAN. FUCK YOU. my life should contain more fun shit and less worrying about how to fit fun shit in. I don't need to be at work 39 hours a week and have that take precedence over everything else in my life!!!!! fuck off!!!!! fuck offffffff!!!!! I want to go to a party! I want to be on the beach with the leatherdyke meetup! I want to go on a rollercoaster! I want to have a nap! I want to tend my garden I want to get drunk I want to go to a barbeque I want to climb a hill I want to take mushrooms and lie in the grass I want to draw I want to make t-shirts I want to cook I want to go for coffee I want to drink wine and bitch I want to have difficult but important conversations I want time to travel and see friends I've not seen in years I want to look the fuck after myself and do things that nourish me and make me happy!!!!!! I don't want to choose!!!!!!!! I don't want to work!!!!!! I should get to choose between work and fun sometimes instead of between fun and fun! This sucks! This fucking sucks!!!!!!

#red said #NOBODY'S EVER AVAILABLE #why would everyone only be available when I'm not here why would they DO THAT TO ME PERSONALLY #<<knows that this was entirely my decision #but also that the only reason we MADE that decision was because sam couldn't get the July week we wanted off work #so again it comes down to #WORK FUCKS US #like fuck you man! fuck you! why does work always have to take precedence over the people we care about or the stuff we need? #why does someone have to be So Much More Worried about when work Can't Do Without Them than about what people in their life need? #literally who gives a shit if repairs or emails have to wait a week oh no the world will end will it? #who gives a fuck???? who cares????? it's not that important!!!!! #i refer to my past claims that all offices should have staggered summer closures. give us a fucking summer holiday you cunts. #it sucks SO HARD that the only time in the whole year you get an ACTUAL holiday where stress isn't just building up for you to come back to #is the middle of the winter when everything sucks anyway and nobody wants to do anything #like you know what the world will not end if we shutter for a week in June/July #and pay overtime to people who have to work through it

[daeluin]

you understand everything about me when you learn my first "celebrity crush" was mike shinoda

#like if u think i have it bad for pete wentz u don't wanna meet twelve yo me who though mike shinoda was the *dreamiest* #everything always goes back to linkin park. even fob 😔 #and then they dropped an album so bad it made me hate them forever #and mike shinoda wouldn't keep his mouth shut and taught me the important lesson that some people are first and foremost gringos #and don't deserve my undying respect and support #and that's why today i can confidently call pete a poser and a loser who's trying to sell me bullshit #and on the same breath tell him how his silly nepo band shaped my life and how i would bend him over and hold him down while we cry #bc male celebrities are fake and meaningless and you don't owe them shit and they will disappoint you bc they suck ❤️ #but that doesnt mean ur feelings and what you live through bc of their art isnt real and it does have meaning to you and thats what matters #just remember they're just dudes that happened to make noises that resonate with you #and that linkin park only has two good albums ❤️

[dirt-str1der]

hello i just wanna say i genuinely like ur observation about nishiki's fighting style and then ya manage to bring it back to ur 'drug addict nishiki' headcanon like it caught me off guard but im also not surprised that is so fair and real of u okay thank u

In a world where drugs dont exist, nishikiyama’s strength comes solely from his anger and i guess he goes to the gym too

#Thanks for the ask ! #Yakuza loveblog #its not a headcanon his voice actor said so before he so does drugs and he does it to escape his terrible life ratpark style #i would in fact be more surprised to learn that nishikis rawdogging life i mean hes definitely not religious and i guess he has alcohol but #thats not enough for what he has to endure. we have to give him meth we have to let him do coke #like i have no reason not to believe he goes to the gym because he is literally vain and i bet he works out till he gets a six pack all #one my life sucks two my life sucks on the bench and he drags kiryu there too even though he hates going to the gym because it stanks and #the aircon is always blowing at the worst spots and the overhead lights oohhhh cant stand the bowling alley either he throws the ball as #hard as he can and it doesnt even touch the runway before its smashing into the pins thats why the y5 bowling completion is so easy he #wants to get out of there asap. im off track see everything goes back to kiryu i always neglect nishikiyama. like even kazamas like heres #some drugs now leave me alone and hea like hmm do i snort this or sell it. oh well SNNRRRT. like there is absolutely no reason for his #entire fighting style to be heavy attacks unless hes wired like crazy and its because hes so pissed off all the time plus hes teeming with #like. cocaine. hulking the fuck out. thats why kiryu feels so safe around him because he has every reason to believe that in a pinch nishik #i can grab someones head and pop it like a grape in order to save his life hes seen it happen before it wasnt just because he feels #comfortable and in sync with nishikiyama he literally has seen him punch someone so hard their skull caved in and hes like okay ! #thats why he loves fighting him so much its because if nishiki punches him in the head he’ll just have to wake up the next morning in pain #its so fun trust me on this you need to be punched by your brother right now or youll die