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#why does he feel like an easy target
ragnarokhound · 5 months
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re: your tags on the jason’s anger post~
hard agree!! i will read reconciliation fics bc like… i do enjoy them getting to be a happy family/group but ultimately, i am firmly in the Jason Todd Was Right camp, &. serious work would need to be done for him to ever actually be part of the family again, bc the actual roots of his issues run DEEP. (and again! he has points!!)
and also same again on like… if i mention the batfamily dynamics in my fics, with the exception of au’s, jason’s relationship with bruce especially is still at least a little strained. he’s a member but also kind of an outsider and maybe he has complicated feelings on that sometimes but ultimately it’s bc his convictions / beliefs run deeper than his need /want of acceptance / belonging.
anyway sorry to dump a rant in your inbox but, i loved your tags & wanted to reply 💞
OUUGHH YES THO!! THANK YOU FOR RANTING, ALWAYS RANT IN MY INBOX STAY IN THIS SPACE WITH ME <333
(I'm about to have a mini-rant of my own, and disclaimer, it's largely informed by my terrible foundation of the UTRH movie + fandom osmosis + the occasional page/panel drop/arguments from other fans skdndndj sO GRAIN OF SALT THE SIZE OF RHODE ISLAND: )
Because yes yes absolutely! It would take serious work on Both sides for Jason to be brought back into the fold. They would both need to want it, and someone would have to be willing to bend on what they are ok with letting slide. Bruce would have to allow Jason his independence and divergence in philosophy; Jason would have to make concessions to Bruce's hard anti-murder stance.
There would have to be compromise, and reparations of some kind. They would have to actually talk and be able to listen. Apologies exchanged (mostly from Bruce because lmao) and a bunch of stuff people with the whole picture could probably tell me better lmao. ALL HARD ASKS
Because yes yes yes!! Jason's convictions and his beliefs ABSOLUTELY run deeper than his desire for acceptance. That's not-so-low-key the biggest obstacle for both him and Bruce in their ever reconciling. It's why Talia was able to manipulate him at all (idk the specifics of that, but details), it's why he hatched a deeply convoluted plan to get back at Bruce and the Joker and fuck over Black Mask in one fell swoop.
He wanted to confront Bruce with the consequences of letting Joker run around even after committing a deeply heinous and personal crime. Show him that taking a more intense and hands on approach and cracking down HARD on the crime families in Gotham would have more immediate results than what Bruce did. And that's not even getting into the Robin stuff yet lol
I don't personally agree per se with Jason's stance on murder and crime fighting lmao - but I also think he has a goddamn point, especially in this universe. In the world of batman, where death can be impermanent and supervillains pull all kinds of heinous, torturous bullshit, Jason has a lot of righteous and justified anger about how Bruce does things, on top of his hurt and betrayal over how both he and his death were treated.
Bruce's stance makes sense to me too, in a 'everyone deserves a second chance' and 'no one is beyond redemption' and 'its a slippery slope' perspective. But at some point you have to wonder about accountability. About what's acceptable. When the Joker is an unrepentant, murderous, sadistic criminal who has demonstrated that he cannot be adequately jailed or rehabilitated, what do you do? Do you ever give up on him? When is enough enough? Is the death penalty ever justifiable?
It's what makes Jason vs Bruce's arguments interesting and tragic to me, because from Jason's perspective, he is seeking retribution for himself as a victim. He is an avenger for victims failed by the system as it stands. And the system fails a lot of people. It needs to change. (And it's something being felt very strongly by a lot of people rn IRL which makes Jason's ideals v sympathetic.)
But from Bruce's perspective, Jason has given up. He has lost hope in the inherent goodness of people. He no longer seeks to find the good in people; he has decided that there exists instead a sharp dichotomy, that there is such thing as a bad person who deserves to die for what they've done, and for being bad. As opposed to seeing deeply injured people who need help, even when you find them repulsive. Rotten work, that.
Bruce sees the end of the path that Jason is on, and it's a bullet that Jason puts in his own brain - because if there are good people and bad people, and bad people deserve to die... won't Jason lump himself in with the bad people eventually? (I am once again standing on my 'Jason Todd wants to die on some level' soapbox)
Anyway, all this to say - there is a sharp divide in Bruce and Jason's methods/beliefs that makes their reconciliation impossible if neither of them is willing to budge. And when they both see budging as a terrible thing to do, a failure to the very people they are dedicating their lives to protecting...well.
It's gonna take a lot of angst and a lot of work.
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bi-writes · 6 days
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thinking about being the new addition to tf141. you are an asset given to laswell by the CIA, a timid little thing but your aim is always on target, and you are quiet, tech savvy, and you do as you're told. (18+, dark)
just how lieutenant riley prefers. he dwarfs you. the first time you meet, your eyes nearly come out of your head from how wide they go. he's so large, and you feel so tiny compared to him, and even though he does nothing but a disinterested once over, it is obvious to the rest of the team that you might just be his favorite.
it's most obvious in the subtle touches. when you're getting ready to jump, ghost comes up from behind and tugs on your parachute, nearly topping you over making sure it's secure. when you're getting ready in the back of the humvee, he reaches over and buckles your thigh holster for you when he notices the strap is coming loose. you nearly choke when you feel his big hand between your thighs, and you stare up at him with wide eyes when his pinkie moves up the seam of your zipper when he tugs his hand away.
and then the way he's on your six is unlike anything else. like glue, chest pressed to your back, his gloved hand squeezing your waist as he moves you every which way he pleases because you're so small to him, so easy, and he growls under his breath when he touches the curve of your hips or the fat of your ass.
maybe you might enjoy it if he wasn't so fucking awkward about it. if he didn't stare at you without blinking. if he didn't adjust his cock in his jeans right in front of you. if he didn't grip you by the back of your head, tugging you any way he wanted as if scolding a kitten using the scruff of their neck.
you think the team would notice by now--that they would step in, tell ghost to back off, but they turn a blind eye. they tolerate this behavior, and you don't know if it's because ghost is so good at his job, they don't want to, or that they are so afraid of him, they refuse to say anything.
or maybe they approve. maybe it keeps ghost at bay. maybe it keeps a lion in his den. a spider in its nest. maybe indulging ghost in his fucked form of flirting and socialization is what keeps the foundations of this team right where it needs to be--and you realize, slowly, that maybe that is why you're here.
because ghost likes them soft, and they need to put a muzzle on their dog.
so when you feel him in the dark, slipping a gloved hand under the blanket that keeps you warm at night, he is pleasantly surprised to find you awake. and even more surprised to feel your hand slipping the soft lace of your panties right into his fucking pocket.
"they teach y'that 'n basic training? how ta give y'r knickers to y'r lieutenant, eh?"
"no," you whisper, and when you meet his eyes in the dark, he looks so hungry. he's untamed, no training, he's used to getting what he wants with no resistance. you turn over in bed, and you don't get to see the way he sucks on his teeth when you let your knees fall, revealing the pretty place between your thighs, soft and puffy and wet, just waiting for a good mutt to eat her up. "but i learned other things."
"tha' right?"
"yeah," you say softly, and you turn over onto your stomach, pushing back onto your knees right in front of him. he bends, leaning over until he's pushing his masked face right into the seam of your cunt, and you grip the sheets tight when he inhales deeply, a rumble following as both of his hands grip either side of your ass and spread you open for him. you're drooling, wetting the nylon fabric, and you gasp when you feel the wet, warm muscle of his tongue suck on your folds through the mask. it's lewd, and you're wetting the material so much it sticks to the strong lines of his face, but he continues, tilting his head to the side as he laps at the pretty slick that dampens your thighs.
"what'd y'learn then, swee'eart?"
not how to fuck your lieutenant. but...you did learn to keep them happy.
"h-how to be a good girl."
and you think you feel him smile.
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blingblong55 · 26 days
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"your girl?" "My girl.."-Simon ghost Riley NSFW
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Photo credits: @ave661
this is a collab with my bestie @aethelwyneleigh27 Part 1 is here ---- F!Reader, 18+, MDNI, smut, soft!sex, breeding, possessive, chubby!reader, unprotected!sex, fwb to lovers, P-IN-V, oral!sex ----
A/N: I think the song linked fits so perfectly with this
He managed to calm your nerves and give you reassurance with just the way he nodded with his warm lips finding your neck again. You felt enough adrenaline to kiss him, like actually kiss him on his lips.
Romantic, soft and sweet yet passionate, Simon couldn't help himself, guiding and backing you up on the kitchen countertop. He took it as an opportunity to hoist you up on it by your waist, squirming a bit as the marble was like ice underneath your thighs, your legs propped open with him comfortably in between.
Of all the things, the grey sweatpants and refusal to even come close to wearing a shirt surely didn't help to calm where your mind is running.
He pressed his forehead on yours, closing his eyes and basking in the feeling of this with you, his breath on your skin felt different now...
"I meant what I said," he whispers as his calloused hands move your hair away from your sweet face. "You're my girl now, Y/N," he says as he leans forward, his lips coming in contact with yours. There is a special kind of softness to the kiss but it's all masked from the passion he has for you. "You're something so dear to me," he says between nibbles and kisses to the soft and weak spot on your neck. You can feel it too, the certainty that tonight is more than just another time where you and him get tangled in the sheets. 
Was it important to let you know all this as undresses you? Yes, because for so long he can voice the emotions he felt every time he worshipped your body. 
Maybe with time, the sneaking into your bed to fuck you raw was more than just that. 
Maybe it was a rough poem of his emotions. 
Your legs wrap around his waist, your head thrown back as he leaves marks of his confused heart on your neck. 
"Fuck...I need you...do you know that?" he looks back up at you and cups your face with his hands. Why does it all feel so different now?
You nod and he smiles. It was a routine he knew best, which is why by now, those precious panties of yours hit the ground, your gown tossed to the side as he kneeled and captured your soft thighs in kisses. Your hands run through his hair, admiring how good he looks in this light and this position. 
"God...Simon," you whisper as his lips get closer to your soaking cunt. A chuckle escapes him. "Already wet for me, lovie?" he mockingly shakes his head and before you know it, his tongue runs through your folds. Your eyes close and your soft hands push him further in, directing him towards the needed target. He smiles as he knows exactly where you want him and a man like him obeys his love. 
"mmm, so sweet, lovie," his voice vibrates on you. His tongue laps at your clit. One of his hands opens your pretty pussy more whilst the other lets his thick fingers inside of you. A moan escapes your lips. It's easy to forget your ex was just here when the man who makes your heart and pussy throb is on his knees eating you out like you're some goddess he must worship. 
The more he continues this, the more he can feel you clench around his fingers and that's when he knows he must fuck you dumb...with his dick of course. No need to have his fingers claim your cunt over and over when his hardened member can do that. 
He gets back up, earning a small whine from you as you are near climax. A playful smile falls upon his wet lips, the ones he licks before speaking. He raises and finger to the air and sighs, "Now, how about I fill you to the brim and make you forget about that mangled-looking mutt," his head to the side as he watches you ponder. You nod and he picks you up, leading you to bed. 
Once he lays you down, he admires your soft and curvy figure. What a sight you are for a man like him. 
He crawls between your thighs after he takes his sweatpants off and spits on his cock. His tip is so swollen and red that you practically know he also needs this as much as you do. 
His hand is on your hip whilst the other slips his fat and hard cock inside your tight and wet cunt. A small gasp from you and a groan from him is what slowly sets the mood for the morning. "Si," you whisper as you try and adjust to his size. "Shh, I know..I know, Y/n," he whispers back and slowly thrusts into you. Your hand holds onto his wrist while the other rubs the swollen clit. 
Your tits bounce and he leans forwards, taking one into his mouth. He licks and sucks on the sensitive skin. His tongue flicks on the nipple and a low chuckle escapes him when he notices the small whimpers that leave your plump lips. 
What an innocent thing you used to be before you ever met him and now, he has you moaning and getting fucked like the pretty little slut you are. "Fuck," Simon groans and goes somewhat harder, hitting that sweet spot of yours. He can tell he was doing this when your grip on his wrist tightens and your nails leave a painful mark, one he doesn't complain about. "You're mine...you're so mine, Y/N. You hear me?" his voice deep and yet so soft. A small nod from you makes him smile. 
With each thrust, his gaze falls on you. Even as he licks and sucks your tits, you look so pretty when biting your lip from this angle. His balls tighten, the image of you too much to take. God, you belong to him now.  
The moans you begin to let out that mix so perfectly with the noises his hip thrusts make against you is the melody that's so dirty the angels would have to cover their ears for. "He doesn't fuck you like I do, huh, lovie?" he says between angered groans. "He doesn't please that needy pussy like me and he'll never please it like I do," he bites his bottom lip as he says this. 
He pulls his chest back, feeling that he can't take more but he must wait until you clench around his dick so he can fill you up. 
By now, both his hands hold your hips, his cock aching for release and as you play with your pretty pussy, he almost wants to see if you've forgotten the idiot you once dated. 
"God, you're so heavenly," he whispers into his groan. Your walls tighten around him and he can almost feel you cliamx by now.  
He holds your body close, burying his head on your neck as he moans and feels you shake and moans his name over and over. Your nails leave love marks on his back from how good he is. "C'mon...just like that...fuck...mark me...let them know your body was used by me," he moans out so desperately it's hot. 
Soon enough, he cums inside of you, coating your delicate walls with his cum. He moans loudly, closing his eyes and slowing his pace. "You keep my cum inside you, that's a command," he kisses your neck with the need to have you this close to him. "Y-yes..." you whisper. 
His fat and heavy dick is still inside you as his unspoken promise to fill you up is becoming true. 
His hands are on your waist and then hips, travelling between them with so much delicacy it looks like he is truly worshipping a goddess. 
"Don't you ever open the door to him. You're mine, not his and you'll stay mine until we die," he says before giving you a rough but needed kiss. His breath is hot as his body captures yours. His hands holding you so close like he is afraid you vanish with just one blink. 
It must be a sin to love this hard and this good. 
"I think I'm falling for you, Y/N," he confesses and kisses you again. Your arms snake around his back. His body and yours are like magnets. "Do you think you're falling for me?" he asks once he separates his lips from yours. "I've already fallen for you, Si," you whisper and like a schoolboy, he blushes and chuckles nervously. 
It was cute to see him this way. It's exciting to know just these words make him all happy and giddy. "Good because I'm tired of being just your friend," he kisses you once more as this kiss turns into a cuddle. 
A soft cuddle that turns into a nap. 
A nap that turns into days of romancing in town streets and parks. 
A/N: thanking the man who let’s me recreate things with him for fics for some of the parts of this because I couldn’t figure out what to write
Tags:
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effetsecndaires · 9 months
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— 𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐲'𝐬 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐞 (𝐡𝐜𝐬)
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INCLUDES | toman members [mentioned: draken, hakkai, mitsuya, pah-chin, peh-yan, takemichi, kazutora, chifuyu, baji.], bonten members [mentioned: takeomi, koko, kakucho, sanzu, ran and rindou haitani]
NOTE | headcanons for toman are set in the final timeline! everyone is in their mid/late 20s, happy & alive :) | request
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— TOMAN.
When Mikey shows up with a pregnant lady at his side, most of the gang is stunned into silence. Curious gazes are exchanged, then everyone start whispering among each other, trying to make sense of the situation.
At first, nobody really connects the dots. They all assume you must be a friend in need or someone Mikey found and decided to help. They imagine that Mikey took you under his wing and promised to keep you safe – which would explain why he brought you here. Typical Mikey.
Imagine the absolute whiplash when Mikey starts the meeting by introducing you as his wife.
For some of them (especially Draken), it's kind of a hard pill to swallow.
A wave of realization hits him hard and he suddenly feels like he never really knew Mikey after all. His best friend, whom he hangs out with pretty much every day and has been looking after his whole life, has been married this entire time? He can't help but wonder how he missed all the signs and feels a mixture of emotions as he tries to process those unexpected layers of Mikey's life that he never knew existed.
But once he starts to grasp the reasons why Mikey did it, he begins to feel better about it.
He knows that Mikey has always been a responsible and thoughtful young man. The fact that he kept his wife hidden from the gang because he knew your presence might've made you a target for rival gangs or enemies seeking to exploit the slightest vulnerability in his life only made Draken more admirative of Mikey.
Over time, everyone in Toman gets accustomed to the situation and they all grow closer to you, much to Mikey's delight.
Hakkai has yet to get used to seeing you around all the time, but he tries his best. He really likes you and tries not to freeze completely when you talk to him. It's not easy for him, but he does manage to get a few words out when you start a conversation. It's cute to see him make the effort and face his shyness just to be able talk to you.
Baji and Chifuyu are like your personal bodyguards. They treat you like a younger sibling, always looking out for you and stealing you from Mikey to hang out or help with shopping for the baby.
As for Mitsuya, he'll put all his energy into making his own unique pieces of clothing for the baby. Before your child is even born, he's is already envisioning the most adorable designs to keep the little one cozy and stylish at all times. He'll design all sort of cute outfits, knit baby blankets, baby booties, and maybe even craft some nursery decor, because why not.
Everyone quickly realizes that you are an essential pillar of support for Mikey and they, too, end up finding comfort in your presence.
In moments of stress and anxiety, you always know how to calm them down. A gentle touch on the shoulder or a quick pep talk is all it takes to ease the burden from their shoulders. It's as if you have this innate sense of knowing when people need support the most, and you're always there to lend a listening ear or a shoulder to lean on.
You've practically become Kazutora's best friend and confident, and he often seeks your advice on important decisions. Your bond with him runs deep, forged through shared experiences and the understanding that you have for each other. He knows that you genuinely care about his well-being and will always have his best interests at heart.
After the baby's arrival, Pah-Chin and Peh-Yan turn into the typical pair of bickering uncles, always competing to hold the baby first (because of course, everyone gets to hold your baby at least once a day).
One day, their playful argument escalates and their voices disturb the baby's peaceful sleep, leading to Mikey landing a friendly kick on them, while Draken settles to giving them a rather harsh slap on the back of the head.
In the midst of the chaos, Takemichi eventually gets the privilege of holding the baby first. You could tell he was practically dying to ask, but simply didn't dare to.
You share a special connection with all of Mikey's friends, like a close-knit found family, and each of them wholeheartedly reciprocates your affection.
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— BONTEN.
When Mikey holds a meeting to introduce his pregnant partner, the news doesn't really come off as a shock to anyone. Everyone in Bonten is used to sleeping around, and, well, they know that accidents can happen.
Mikey decided to be responsible and keep a prostitute and her baby? Okay, good for him. Maybe not the best decision, but that's none of their business.
What genuinely shocks them however, is finding out that you and your baby are actually far from being a mere accident or casual fling gone wrong.
In fact, you've been Mikey's wife for a little over a year now, and the main motivation behind his decision to introduce you to his gang is to ensure your safety at all times. He can't risk an enemy finding out about you before his allies do, especially now that you're pregnant.
They're not exactly thrilled by the idea of playing babysitter for their boss - but they quickly get used to having you around. (It's not like they have much of a choice anyway)
Takeomi handles you like literal porcelain. He doesn't leave your side, always following you around to make sure you don't trip, fall down the stairs or hurt yourself in any way shape or form.
His attentiveness is primarily driven by your position as the boss's wife rather than personal affection or genuine concern for you, though. He's just doing his job, knowing that any harm happening to you while he's in charge of watching you will result in him getting reprimanded by Mikey. You're a very nice woman, but he'd rather be tasked with more important business - hence the constant huffs and sighs when he's around you.
Koko, on the other hand, grows particularly fond of you and buys pretty much everything you need for yourself and the baby. Whether it be clothes, plushies, furniture for the nursery or your weird pregnancy cravings, he'll get you anything you desire. This baby is going to be spoiled rotten whether you like it or not. (Mikey complains about it more than you do)
Similarly, you and Kakucho develop a significant bond over time, the third-in-command becoming almost like an older brother to you. Among the gang, he stands out as the friendliest and least intimidating, Introducing a comforting and accessible presence in your life, something you've been missing for a while. Although you love Mikey dearly, being his wife presents its own set of difficulties and often leaves you feeling isolated.
Sanzu mostly minds his own business. He does his job and keeps an eye on you, but he has too much respect for Mikey to even consider befriending you. He wouldn't want his boss to get the wrong idea.
He mostly leaves the wifesitting job to the others, preferring to stay by Mikey's side and obey his more thrilling orders.
(And let's be honest, you're not complaining)
The Haitani brothers aren't big on befriending, and yet from time to time they'll buy some stuff for your baby, like little shoes or plushies. (That's mostly Rindou's doing, as he tends to be friendlier than his older brother).
When you find yourself alone at home, they're usually the ones assigned to stay by your front door, ensuring your security.
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hells-telegrammy · 3 months
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Alastor, a natural Yandere
He just FITS it.
- No one's surprised to know that he would KILL for you.
- He treats you more like his #1 INVALUABLE property than his actual partner
- You follow HIM everywhere, not the other way around. Your entire schedule is him and him alone.
- Often asks for your opinion on things so you wouldn't feel left out while he does his stuff.
- "What do you think, dear? Does Charlie's idea sound like a nutcase?" He asks you.
- "Indeed, love. It does sound terrible." You respond, and Charlie's form slumps over in dejection.
- You're always a target for getting kidnapped by sinners, because of your worth to Alastor. Alastor doesn't mind as much, he thinks it's cute. They think it's that easy.
- Alastor doesn't need to lift a finger when he's with you because he knows you can handle yourself just fine. That's why he ADORES you.
- "I'm back dearest, and I have something for you." You smile, passing the butchered ribcage of your kidnapper over to him. He smiles deviously, "You know me so well, darling."
- On days where you're away from him though, he knows you'll be fine but still keeps tabs on you. He loves watching you, that's it. He loves watching you go about your daily business, walking, talking, etc. - You are so beautiful.
- You wait obediently outside the meeting room when he's having meetings with the other Overlords. They know you too - you're the more tolerable one out of the pair.
- Every morning, he dresses you up himself. You're not allowed to touch yourself to even comb your hair - he'll do it for you. He wants you to look your best everyday, and he knows what's best. You don't mind though, his taste in clothing is fantastic - everyday you look fantastic because of Alastor.
REQUESTS are OPEN!
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sooniebby · 6 months
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Sneak peak… to the request of a playboy reader and nerd OC… degradation, bottom male reader, reader is mentioned to have a cock—a bit dubcon and feminization
…..
“C’mon~ you’re that scared?”
You stared at the boy across from you on the bed. He was biting at his lip, fiddling with something behind his back. You couldn’t help but smirk. Ah, shy nerds.
They were your favorite. Easy targets for some great sex.
They were always so loud but then get so shy after hearing themselves.
And this guy… Yubin, he looked like the perfect target.
His doe like eyes moved up to yours. His shaggy mullet like hair was honestly cute on him. But it helped he was just naturally a bit cute.
Yubin pursed his lips. You hummed and stood up, noticing once more—that he was shorter than you. He only reached your shoulder. You moved over to his side of the bed, reaching over to grab his shoulder.
“Don’t worry~ I’ll be gentle with you.”
Yubin glanced up at you and his face contorted into something akin of laughter as a dry laugh left his plump lips.
Suddenly, you were on the bed and your hands were tied to the banister. You panicked, pulling at it in fear as you looked up at Yubin who was sitting on top of you.
“5 seconds… that was faster than before. I’m getting good.”
A cruel smirk was on his lips as he leaned back a bit, staring down at you with an odd look of disgust.
“A shame you’re not as buff as I wanted you to be… my past lover, gosh, he was so beautiful.. he had great tits.”
Yubin reached down and grasped your chest, frowning when there wasn’t much to grab. He huffed and pulled away. You just honestly couldn’t believe you were being manhandled by a guy smaller than you.
“What the hell, Yubin?!”
“What? We’re having sex. It’s why you were even talking to me for the best few days, wasn’t it?”
You gulp, feeling a bit guilty. He wasn’t wrong. You never paid him any mind during class until you realized you had fucked a lot of people in the class except him.
Didn’t help your friends didn’t believe you could fuck him.
“Well, not sure if you know this, but I don’t let dicks near my ass.”
“Why? Haven’t found a cock big enough for your butt?” He reached over and grasped your ass, humming in delight. “Wow, glad something about you is big.”
You didn’t know whether to be insulted or appreciative.
“Not like you’re big at all. What, have a kink for men bigger than you?”
Yubin simply smirked. He got up from on top of you and walked over to his backpack. He pulled out a few toys, many being something to spank you with.
Gosh, was he into spanking?
“I’ll be nice.. which one do you want to you?”
He held up a rod, blindfold, and a vibrator.
You did not want to deal with any pain at the moment and the fear of not being able to see what he was doing scared you. So you eagerly pointed at the vibrator.
Yubin hummed and placed the rejected items in his bag. He walked over to you and sat back down on top of you, this time right on top of your cock. You, a bit too far in your ways of being a slut, thrusted upwards a bit.
You expected him to moan or maybe whimper a bit and show off his cute side. But he looked at you as if you were a cockroach.
“Ew.”
You felt your heart shatter.
Ew?!
While you mentally cried over your first ever ‘ew’—Yubin was pulling your shirt up. He still seemed pretty disappointed you weren’t as muscular as he thought you were.
“W…what are you into? Power bottom shit?”
“You really keep thinking you’ll put that small dick of yours in my butt.”
“Well… yeah! Any boy I fuck, even ones who thought they’d just be tops, loved my cock!” You boast, a grin on your lips. “I don’t mind letting you be on top, baby~ I’ll just show you how good my cock feels.”
Yubin stared down at you. “But… I’m bigger.”
You laughed. “You? Bigger than me? I’m literally 6 inches hard.”
You heard the sound of pants being pulled down as you watched Yubin get undressed. He pulled down his boxers and the only thing to come out your mouth was a whimper.
Holy fuck.
He was 8 inches… flaccid!!!
Yubin grinned as he began laughing at your shocked face.
“I love fucking guys bigger than me and putting them into their place.. usually I prefer guys that don’t fight back.. but I think this’ll be fun.”
You could watch as he moved up a bit and tapped your lips with the tip of his cock.
“Now start sucking, baby~ A slut like you should’ve sucked a few times.”
You wanted to punch but him but much to your own shock, you slowly parted your lips. He was surprisingly gentle as he slowly moved his cock inside your mouth. Huh, guess he didn’t want to actually hurt you.
Physically that is. He had no problem degrading you.
You winced as Yubin grabbed your hair and held it tightly, keeping your head steady.
“You might’ve been thinking this night was supposed to have me screaming.. but tonight, slut, it’ll be you screaming my name. You better sound like music to my ears or I’ll silent you like the bitch you are.”
Yubin stared at you for a moment, a cruel smirk on his lips before he sighed. “Pinch me twice whenever you wanna stop.”
You hummed, a bit happy he wasn’t being totally cruel.
“Now… with that out of the way, suck.”
“Let’s see if you’ll become my new housewife, Noona~”
Now for the actual fic.. it might be a bit edited when it comes to this part lol but it’s just a draft on what’s going to happen… hope that makes sense lmao.. Yubin lovers will also know who his past lover was <3
Tag list: @ofclyde @tomoeroi @nakedtoasterr @iwishtobeacrow @the-ultimate-librarian @chill-guy-but-cooler @kiiyoooo @mello-life69 @smellwell @tehyunnie @remdayz @kaedezu
Noona: title for older sister or older close female—can be viewed as romantic. Only males call an older woman Noona—similar to Oppa.
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impishjesters · 6 months
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Jax x Reader w/depression/suicidal tendencies
warning(s): mentions of depression/suicidal behavior/tendencies, nothing graphic though, mentions of morbid/dark humor note: it's only mentioned that he has feelings for you, whether romantic or platonic is left up to the reader. A/N: I think this is the fastest I've ever wanted to write for something utterly new to me, usually it takes a while of being into a series or liking a character to wanna write something. This was...less than twelve hours? This was probably the most self-indulgent thing I've written in a while.
Nobody was safe from Jax’s pranks, including you—regardless of how much he found himself gradually enjoying your company.
It’s actually a right of passage at this point that every new person (as rare as it is) who shows up is subjected to some awful prank to gauge just how much of an easy or difficult target they’ll be.
You handle the pranks with ease. Sure it can be annoying, but there’s little that can seemingly “kill” you here.
Which is a shame really—well, only slightly.
Your therapist would’ve probably found it a good thing, trying to off yourself in a digital world where sleeping and eating were no longer required likely meant the inability to die.
Not in a traditional sense anyway.
You’re the only one ballsy enough to prank Jax back, which isn’t easy but when a prank is successful? Oh, it’s worth it to see his reaction.
There’s an unspoken prank war back and forth, but typically the other’s are the subject of your guys’ pranks. Somehow it feels more rewarding with the joint effort.
It's not often, but sometimes Jax's pranks will go a step too far and trigger something unpleasant. He's not really sure why you just walk off like that, those pranks don't make him feel as satisfied for whatever reason.
Once a special type of friendship grows between the two of you, the pranks lessen—not entirely though—nah he loves the unsuspecting reactions of a prank you didn’t see coming.
The pranks become less hostile and more casual—he’s got a reputation to keep after all, regardless of how he feels about you.
The initial reaction to someone being told there was no way out was to panic, you however, didn’t..well not outright. Your initial reaction is dark humor—even with the whole censorship thing.
Ragatha is the only one initially disturbed/worried over your dark sense of humor, which should be expected from one of them since they’ve been there longer.
Jax is aware of your morbid sense of humor and often plays along with it, especially in the beginning—later in the friendship though? Yeah, there’s no noticeable physical change, but he’s only a tad worried.
When not tormenting the other’s Jax stuck with you, or vice versa.
After the attempted drowning and standing (willingly) in harm’s way of one (or three) of the rides, Jax keeps your bedroom key closer in hand than the others.
And honestly? Ragatha doesn’t even blame him. You aren’t distant from them, but you do tend to favour Jax’s company. Regardless of her feelings about him as a person, it becomes obvious that he feels something less hostile towards you compared to them.
It takes a while before you finally confess to Jax that prior to being trapped in this digital hell, you were medicated for depression/suicidal tendencies. And while the digital world took away things like needing sleep and food, it didn’t get rid of the thoughts or urges.
Now—had this been someone else telling him all this? He’d be very uncaring and probably make a nasty “joke”, but because it’s you? He’s treading into foreign territory here when it comes to emotions.
There’s not really anything he can say that would make you feel better, but he does show a more rare tender side, offering to be there whenever you need him. Just to backpedal like a tsundere and say that he won’t always be free ( a lie, the fuck else does he have to do?), but he’ll try and make time for you during those moments.
He doesn’t do some pinky promise bullshit, I mean he can and would, but he doesn’t expect his offer and attempts to do that much (words of promise aren’t on the same level as a prescription drug after all).
But if being around his rude ass self and doing the occasional nice *gag* gestures of like, hugging or whatever helps you, he’ll do it—just, not with others around obviously. Again, man has a reputation.
From then on Jax is more aware of where you are around him at all times, not in a suffocating way though. Well, not intentionally, he has his moments. But he’s trying, again this is new territory for him.
Jax makes it his unspoken, personal goal to make sure you don’t tread the line of becoming abstracted.
Bonus (fluff)
Jax will make an attempt not to immediately recoil from your touch when others are present.
I’m not talking “Whoops, sorry to bump into you”, I’m talking about grabbing onto his arm or being in his personal bubble because you need something grounding or whatever.
More often than none his immediate reaction is to just use you to lean on, elbow or arm resting on top of your head to give you some contact and pressure. (He does it out of habit even when you don't need it.)
Sure he probably looks like an ass to others, but after a while, they sort of just get used to it since you never bring up being offended by the act.
But in private? Yeah, sure shoot, just don’t expect him to put any effort into returning anything. Maybe the drape of an arm or his legs, but if it’s really bad? He’ll lay or sit there while you cling to him like a koala.
Jax actually finds it kinda funny how tightly you hold on whenever he gets up.
“Wow, you really holdin’ on there.”
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ticktokrobotsnot · 10 months
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This is part 1.
You can read Part 2 here
Pairing: Carmen Berzatto x fem!reader 
Summary: An accountant helps Carmen organize his shit-hole restaurant.
Word Count: 14k
warning: panic attacks, stabbing Richie in the ass, mentions of suicide, tax evasion lol
__
After years of working in restaurants as an in-house accountant, Y/n met a lot of chefs. They were all the same, especially the good ones, and the worst part was that they all thought they were so unique and tortured. They assumed that their problems justified them yelling over a broken sauce or a pierced piece of veal. They made food look pretty and they served it to people. Women have been doing that for years and you don't have people praising them for that. Now some guy with a complex does it and its art, it's magical, it's jaw dropping. No, it was a waste of time and energy. 
It was food, a necessity and they had perverted it to some freak art show with conflicting flavors and overall mayhem. It was like a cult, where they convinced everyone that their ossobuco for breakfast, coq au vin for lunch, escargots de bourgogne for dinner, and crème brûlée for dessert wasn’t making them physically sick, mixing different cuisine in a failed attempt at being different. It was regular food served small, but the pretentiousness made y/n more sick than their food.
Y/n was willing to concede that Carmen wasn’t the worst chef she met. She got a job at the French Laundry a few years back and there really wasn’t a word that could adequately describe him because to her, Carmen was nothing but a shell of a man. 
In their brief encounters, y/n knew Carmen didn’t have a life outside of cooking. She would watch the chefs come in at the ass crack of dawn and Carmen was always there first. Even when he came to pick up his check at the end of the day, he would grab it before running back to the kitchen to check up on some marinated before he left. The stupid hunk of meat deserved more of his attention than the women handing him his paycheck. She had to refrain her self from screaming, “Look at me you stupid fuck, I’m here giving you your paycheck, look me in the fucking eyes. That steak isn’t going to do anything but get shit out in a few hours! I'm real, look at me.”
It was an immature and one-sided hate, Carmen didn’t really deserve it. However, she found it hard to resist seeing him as an easy target, given his passive nature and frustrating obliviousness to the situation. She never actually did anything crazy like mess with his paycheck or fuck with his W-2, it was more like glaring at him when no one was looking or taking a pen that feel out from his bookbag, holding on to it for a few days, and then dropping it near his locker a few days later. It was very harmless and it felt nice to finally have someone to bother, without actually bothering them. 
Every so often he would do something that would make it difficult to hate him fully. He would open the door for her when they were the first to come into work, or he would help her pick up some files that she dropped, or put that very pen back in her cup holder because he assumed that the pen was her pen to begin with. If he had said a single word to her, y/n would probably have had a bit of a crush on him but he never did, infact y/n never heard his voice. Her office was quite a walk from the kitchen so she was left wondering if he belonged to the boisterous brigade of chefs who bellowed at anything in their path, or if he truly possessed the quiet demeanor he exuded. If he were to speak a single syllable, he would transform from a mere embodiment of her job dissatisfaction into a fully-formed individual.
That's why she was confused when she got a phone call weeks after Carmen mysteriously left. The resignation was a shock to y/n, she never once expected him to quit, she thought he would die on top of the stove when his heart finally checked out from all that fat, sugar and acid at 65. She remembered mindlessly sticking his last paycheck in an envelope to ship to Chicago, maybe he got a better job there at Venteux, Brindille, or Les Nomades. They must have sent an amazing poacher for him to leave just about everything in his locker but his backpack and never look back. 
“Hello, is this y/n?” Y/n sat up on her couch wondering who was calling her at 9pm on a Tuesday.
“Yeah…Who is this?’ Y/n wondered if one of her friends gave out her number without asking her again. Even if this guy had a nice voice and sounded handsome she would have to reject him based on principle.
“It's Carmen…Berzatto… from the French Laundry.” Y/n dropped her phone in shock, not knowing what knocked the wind out of her lungs more, the fact that she was getting a call from an ex-employee, the fact that he had her number in the first place, the fact that she was getting this call scandalously late, or that he actually sounded like that. Jesus, he was really holding back on her. 
“Are you still there?” Y/n grabbed her phone from the floor and gave him a simple, “Yes.”
“How have you…been?” He was unsure how to approach this and he would never do this unless he was desperate, which he was. 
“I have been fine, I heard you moved to Chicago, a new exciting job?”
“That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about.” Y/n didn’t probe because this felt like payback for all the times that she said something to him hoping that he would fill the space just for him to walk into that stupid fucking kitchen and leave her standing around like a fool. 
“Umm…It's a long story but I have this restaurant that needs a bit of accounting?” Y/n didn’t say anything and let him suffer in his own silence like she used to. She chose to flop down on her couch again. 
“I'm not sure what the right word is, but the books are a mess and I was wondering if you could have a look.” 
“Paid of course. Obviously I'm going to pay you.” He stumbled out. Finally, y/n thought, he was fumbling which was a nice change of pace from his usual stoicism. 
“What’s the place's name?” 
“The Beef.” Y/n sat up on her elbows.
“I have never heard of it before, how many stars does it have?”
“It doesn't have any.” 
“Okay…okay?…” Y/n was assuming that he started working at some nepo babies new pet restaurant, the pay must be amazing for him to leave like that. A part of her was proud of Carmen for choosing money over his craft. 
Y/n continued, “Give me the owner’s number and we can get the details together.” 
“I'm the owner.” She didn’t think that she could be rendered speechless by a guy who would probably combust if you squirted cheese-wiz within a 10 feet radius of him.
Y/n composed herself, he was calling for her which means that he needed her. She had the leverage and she wouldn’t ruin it by babbling like an idiot. “I can come by next week.”
She heard a distant sigh, “That's…yeah…yeah, that's great, we will cover travel and get you a place to stay.” Y/n wanted to be a bitch and demand first class and a five star hotel but she had a feeling that he would actually think she was being serious. 
“I’ll send over the information, y/n.” The sound of her name coming out his lips felt foreign, she had never heard her name spoken like that. 
“Good night, Carmen.” Just as she was about to hang up the phone she heard a quiet, “She said yes?” He doubted her. Good, y/n thought, he should doubt her, he doesn’t know anything about her and that was entirely his fault. She hung up the phone and searched up The Beef, she found a hundred restaurants with the same name. What the hell was Carmen doing at a restaurant that couldn’t even come up with an original name.
She gave herself a week to prepare even though she didn’t have a job anymore. She quit a few days after Carmen did, she had lost all motivation to go there everyday, without a target she was just flying till she splattered on the ground. 
The underlying reason for her self-imposed week of preparation was a strategic move to play hard to get. Y/n wanted Carmen to realize her value and understand that he needed her and that she was just as good as him, if not better. 
Immature, petty, bitchy, difficult, mean; maybe her mother was right about her after all. 
A week flew by and she was at baggage claim when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned around and saw a short woman in a blue apron and an eye-sore of a bandana. 
“I'm Sydney, I'm new. I’m here to pick you up, Carmen says he’s sorry couldn’t do it but we have to prep for the lunch rush.” The way that Sydney looked when speaking about Carmen showed that she had a deep respect for him and a small evil part of y/n wanted to convince Sydney that Carmen was actually tied to the mob or did ballet in his spare time. Something that would knock him off of a pedestal and make him more like a person and less like a God. 
Y/n picked up her luggage and wordlessly rolled it over to where Sydney had it parked. The ride to the restaurant was filled with questions that she really didn’t know the answer to, What was Carmen like in New York? What was a dish of his that y/n liked the most? 
Sydney should have asked what his salary was, that y/n knew like the back of her hand. Y/n answer those questions by repeating things that other people have said about Carmen. His plum desert was to die for, he was very methodical in the kitchen, and he ran a tight ship, what more could she possibly know? 
Sydney finally pulled over in a rough neighborhood and y/n wondered if Sydney needed to do an errand before they finished their journey but when she saw through the window that another guy was wearing the same color apron as Sydney, she knew that this was the famous “The Beef'' that took Carmen away from her. It wasn’t even called “The Beef'' it was called, “The Original Beef of Chicagoland '' which was somehow even worse. 
Y/n told Sydney that she needed a few moments to herself and when Sydney slipped inside, y/n started sprinting towards the pub next door. She gave the bartender a sob story about how she was looking for a job next door as a waitress and how she wanted to know what the situation was next door, for her safety, before she asked for a job. The bartender bought her story and gave her a quick review of what had happened. The previous owner killed himself, shot his brains out, and now it was under new management, the old guy’s brother. Yikes didn’t even begin to cover what y/n thought but that was the best she could come up with, so...Yikes. 
She ran back to the restaurant, fixed up her hair and walked in like she didn’t just hear a horrific story that was going to make it very difficult to do her job. 
Y/n walked in, and she felt like she was in an alternate dimension, y/n was by no means spoiled and she had eaten in worse places than this, but the thought that Carmen Berzatto, her Carmen Berzatto, was working in a place like this felt like a joke. She wondered how stupid he looked in his chef whites, slicked back hair, and annoying long apron that looked like a skirt.
The restaurant hadn’t opened yet but she was greeted by a woman named Tina who basically rolled her eyes at y/n and then disappeared into the kitchen. Sydney chirped in with a comforting, “Yeah…she’s like that.” Y/n gave her an understanding smile. She wasn’t expecting much because nobody likes an intruder. 
“Carmen said I need to look at some books. Do you know where they are…or where he is so he can tell me where they are?”
“Sdy, can you cover for me.” Y/n’s head snapped up, she recognized that voice from the phone call and was rendered speechless twice. He wasn’t wearing those migraine inducingly ugly chef whites but regular clothes with a blue apron. He had many more tattoos than she thought. His hair wasn’t slick back with gel but it was actually relaxed barring any sweat that might have pushed his hair back. Carmen was buff, which was such a shock to her that she really did feel like this was not real. And lastly, he called this “new” chef Sdy, a nickname. They were close, and y/n couldn’t explain it but that made her eyes twitch. She worked so hard to get to know him the first few months at the French Laundry and got nothing and now “Syd” got a nickname. 
She took a deep breath before, “It's been a while.”
“Thanks for coming, let me show you the books.” She was surprised to hear any form of thanks from him but the lack of small talk was really nothing new. She followed him through the kitchen and heat from all the stoves made her nauseous. There was a lot of yelling and it looked like it was an overall mess both aesthetically wise and teamwork wise. 
They finally got to the office, it had a worn desk littered with what looked like a fuck ton of papers, scratch that bills. Y/n looked up at Carmen who looked…ashamed. She took a deep breath before sitting down on the chair and looked up at Carmen waiting for him to give her a rundown of everything. They were behind on every bill imaginable, they hadn’t been able to pay vendors, and there were quotes for broken machines. Looks like Carmen’s brother left him a real shit show. 
This felt like winning the lottery, not only was she seeing an interesting puzzle for her to solve, she was able to see Carmen look human for once. It was a shame, however, that the only human emotion that he was showing was stress but something was better than nothing. One thing that was untouched was the payroll, he never was behind on paying his workers, y/n felt a slight tug in her chest but she ignored that.
He looked down at her, and asked, “I’m going to leave this with you…umm….” And then he left the kitchen. Y/n starting grabbing floating folders and organizing. Most of the stuff was kinda sorted, but stuff like old payroll documents were in a file called “shit”, so she thought a total revamp was necessary. 
It felt like y/n was an intern again, resigned to tedious work. After a few hours and a quick trip to Staples for office supplies, she had made the cluttered desk look like her old desk in the French Laundry…empty, sterile, cold.
With a deep breath she left the kitchen to find Sydney so she could unlock her car so that y/n could grab her laptop. The heat was bad, but the yelling was mind scrambling. It felt like she was dropped in a war zone trying to find where she parked her car, an innocent civilian amongst the war torn soldiers. She couldn’t be here any longer, she practically ran over to Sydney and asked for her car keys and was mindlessly directed to some lockers. Y/n could tell that she was busy so she didn’t ask which one in particular. 
She started opening random lockers, and after her third one she saw a familiar sight. A brown wool jacket, the same one she had seen Carmen wear in New York, she quickly shut the door. This was too much, he was becoming a bit too human, too real. She finally found the right locker and rushed to get her laptop and the rest of her luggage and shut the office door. 
She spent the first quarter of her day digitizing payroll as a quick warm up, she had a feeling that she would need it.
Y/n moved on to a leather bound book under a gas bill and after a quick glance she knew that this was going to be a fucking disaster. Whoever did the books used different coloured pens, was writing outside the lines, circling stuff randomly,  doodling, and this was just the visual disaster, the closer she looked at the chicken scratch the more she realized how deep in debt this palace was. Thousands of dollars were being drained seemingly randomly and then money was being put back just as chaotically. There was no record of how the money was being spent or where the money was coming from. Even though y/n didn’t know Carmen very well she knew he would never do this, it was that brother of his. The inside of the cover said Micheal Berzzato. 
She spent the rest of the day organizing the accounts payable and receivables. It was like trying to go through a dense forest with a pair of nail clippers but she got through a fraction of it. She already knew that the money wouldn’t add up and that if they got audited, the restaurant would be in deep shit. 
She had her headphones in and nearly fell off her chair if Carmen didn’t brace her when he came in unannounced. Her heart practically shot out of her ass but she pulled herself together. 
“I thought you would have left by now.”
Y/n looked at the time on her laptop and saw that it was 11:30pm, she was a bit impressed with herself. Look at me Carmen, I can also throw myself at my work and I didn’t need people to think I'm God’s gift to man. 
“I lost track of time, is the restaurant still open?” Carmen shook his head. Y/n sat up and ushered him to the chair. She didn’t like it when people hovered over her and she wanted Carmen to look up at her for once. She placed her left hand on the back of his chair and her right on the laptop’s trackpad. 
“Your payroll needed to be updated, no one does this on paper anymore.” Y/n showed him how to move things around, how to change certain information, etc and she was expecting him to half heartedly listen but was pleasantly surprised when he sat there and listened. He asked meaningful questions which almost made her fall over, he wanted to learn and that was very… admirable. Y/n had to snap herself out of it, of course he was listening, she was brought here to fix and teach, and she wasn’t cheap either. 
She then directed him to the organized files and how to maintain file organization in case he was ever audited. He stared with such intensity that she had to turn around and pretend that she was looking for a file. She spent her entire career working in a building where almost no one knew her name, or really looked at her. The chefs were busy with their eye filets and lobster to look at her, management spoke to her through emails but now she was center stage which was making it hard to focus.
She ended her presentation with a short run down of the order that he should pay off certain bills based on priority. She finally looked down at him and was surprised that he was still looking back at her. 
“Wow…all that in a day?” Y/n only presented 50% of the work she did today, omitting the illicit money transactions Micheal had orchestrated, and here Carmen was looking at her like she was God’s gift to him. 
“It’s going to take a while to decipher this,” holding up the leather book, “but it's not impossible.” 
Carmen parted his lips before closing them a few times, “How long can you stay here? Like how many vacation days did you take?” 
Y/n debated telling him that she still had a job back home but there really wasn’t any point in lying to make herself look good for Carmen. Y/n was never one to be unnecessarily cruel, just a bit of a nuisance, so she would give him a bit of satisfaction. It was to make up for what she put him through in New York. She pretended to search for something on her laptop while avoiding Carmen’s eyes beneath her. 
“I don’t work there anymore.” Carmen’s head shot up and he wondered if he had heard that correctly. He wanted to ask why she left but he knew that would be crossing a line. 
“What are your future plans?” Y/n looked up and wondered that as well. 
She knew she had to leave French Laundry, she hated the long hours, overbearing bosses, and most of all she hated the people she worked with. There was a team of accountants who worked near her and even though she did the majority of the work she always had to fight to get a seat at the table. She was smart, talented, and competent but she was always officially relegated to payroll even when she was the one who spent weeks organizing binders filled with projection just for some jackass to get the credit. The issue wasn’t just her coworkers but her bosses that assumed that someone else had done the research and let her present, and infuriatingly no one ever corrected management. Add all of that with the loss of what she considered her only acquaintance, she ran as fast as she could. 
As for future plans, she had enough money to live a relatively nice life even if she didn’t find work for a year. She hated the French Laundry but she couldn’t sell them short, they paid her very well. 
“I don’t know, I will probably have to find a new job.” That piqued Carmen’s interest, he assumed that she had another job lined up because y/n didn’t seem like the type to get up and leave without an exit strategy. 
“If you're interested…” Carmen didn’t want to get his hopes up but he knew that he needed her here, this couldn’t work without someone like her. “You can always work here.”
Carmen’s head was swimming, if she said yes that would make his life a million times easier. He might actually be able to sleep a full eight hours. 
Y/n didn’t really know how to respond, she didn’t hate the idea. “Am I going to be the only one working finance here?” Carmen’s chest fell, of course this was too much for one person. 
“Yeah but if you need more peo-” 
“Just me is fine. I don’t like working with other people.” Clear and blunt, y/n didn’t want to waste his time. 
“Yeah..” Carmen looked one last look at the computer screen with the filled excel sheets that transformed his brother’s horrible business practices to legible spreadsheets and he knew he definitely needed her. 
“What time do you want me to come tomorrow?” 
“Whenever is good for you?” 
Y/n furrowed her eyebrows. “You are paying for my services so act like it.” What she said was rude and slightly uncalled for.
Carmen looked up at her and felt like he was back in New York again, like when he was too scared to talk to her or when he would catch her glaring at him from the corner of his eye. Carmen knew she didn’t like him but if he needed her so what could he do, most of his staff already hated him so what was one more. 
Y/n sighed, she tried to intimidate him to force him to toughen up but it looks like it just made him clam up. “That was really rude for me to say, but I think you need to hear it.” Y/n had a feeling that he was going to remember this so she thought she started to do damage control. 
“All I ever hear about your food is how amazing and jaw dropping and delicious and mind blowing it is. You are very..” Y/n struggled to find a neutral word that would allow her to lift his spirits but not too high, “..competent. Your staff however…”
That got Carmen to pick up his head, “They are goo-” 
“And I bet they are good but you can’t do your job and show off their skills and talents if they all walk around you like that. Can I be frank with you?” Carmen slowly nodded his head. 
“I don’t see your restaurant lasting very long with the crew you have here.” Carmen knew that but hearing it out loud stung. “You have to make a few changes, either swap out a few annoying chefs or make them change.” 
A few hours prior, y/n’s curiosity had gotten the best of her and she looked through Sydney’s resume. It was stacked with good restaurants and she even had a brief stint at catering, y/n didn’t hesitate to admit that Sydney was just as capable as Carmen. 
“Get Sydney more involved, she can do much more than what you have her doing now.” Y/n saw Sdyney’s pay which showed that she was getting paid a regular chef salary, she deserved sous-chef. Carmen nodded his head but he was looking away, in his mind he wondered how she could possibly even know that while sitting in his office all day. 
“They’re used to doing things a certain way.” 
“I'm guessing fear is not your management style.” Y/n pondered how she would fix a situation like this if she was in his shoes. “I would say avoid baptism by fire.” 
Y/n continued, “It's going to be a mess but you just need to lead the kitchen like you did in New York for the first few days and then transfer the responsibility to Sydney who will be watching the entire time so she isn’t thrown into a pile of shit on her first day and quit. That way you can continue to do whatever you were doing in New York.” 
It had never occurred to Carmen that y/n didn’t know what he did, but then again he barely  knew what she did. He would watch her typing away or he would hear fragments of urgent phone calls about audits, and give out checks. But other than that he didn’t know what she did for the rest of her day, so he had to swallow his discontentment with her not noticing him because he was no better than her. 
“I think you need to expect more from people, you don’t have to do everything by yourself.” Y/n concluded. 
It was quiet barring the sound of the lights buzzing. Just as y/n was about to slip out, Carmen swiftly stood up and walked out the office towards the kitchen and started pulling out bowls. 
“I thought you said that this place was closed, what are you making?” 
“What do you want to eat?” Carmen wasn’t looking at her as he grabbed a knife and a cutting board. 
“Umm…You don’t need-”
“Give me something, y/n”
“It's late, Carmen.” 
“You’ve been here all day and you didn’t eat anything…” Y/n gave him a disapproving look.
“Y/n.” He asserted, she couldn’t leave in good faith without eating something. 
She didn’t fail to notice that when he lost control back in the office he came rushing out to re-assert his power by forcing her to eat something he was going to make.
“I don’t know…something easy and wont fuck up my stomach.” Y/n conceded.
Carmen smirked, and y/n was able to appreciate his objective handsomeness. After a few minutes of chopping she was presented with a simple salad. 
“I tried to replicate the salad dressing from what I smelled from the last time I went to your office.” Y/n was shocked, she didn’t know that he noticed stuff like that, she was also amused that he had a great nose, both functionally and aesthetically. 
 Y/n was also surprised when Carmen asked her, “Why did you leave?”
“Why did you?” Y/n countered, she knew the answer but she assumed that he wouldn’t tell her. This felt like a decent way to manufacture some space. One step forward for making a meal and 2 steps back for asking probing questions. 
“My brother used to own this place…and he died…killed himself.” Carmen was full of surprises today. 
Y/n mumbled out, “I hated working there so much I would crawl out of bed hoping that I would fall, crack my head open and never have to step foot in there anymore… I would be gagging a block away from work every single day because I couldn’t stomach another second in my office.” 
Y/n assumed that Carmen couldn’t relate, he was a god back in New York.
“I used to throw up every morning.” Y/n put her fork down and looked up at Carmen who continued. “And I would get these heat flashes while I was there even when the kitchen was like negative three-thousand fucking degrees.” 
They were never good enough. 
It was an embarrassing thing for both of them to admit, they tried to survive in New York and failed because they were weak, but at least they were in good company. 
“My boss was a dick. He used to say crazy shit just to get a rise out of me.” Y/n didn’t know that Carmen had a boss, she just assumed that he ran the kitchen. 
“Who was your boss?” Y/n went down her rolodex of names before landing on, “That guy with the huge forehead?” 
Carmen covered his mouth with his hand but she knew there was a smile underneath. She was able to get a good look at his tattoo, she had only caught glimpses when he would grab an envelope from her or hold the door. At the time she thought it was out of place but seeing the whole picture, Carmen with his wavy hair, gold chain, smirk, and arm littered with tattoos she realized that she was missing out on a lot. 
Y/n finished her salad and helped him clean up before they locked up the restaurant and Carmen stuffed her luggage in the trunk. 
“You’ve seen our books..”
Y/n gave a small hum.
“So you know that we can’t put you in a hotel for weeks.”
“If I'm not staying at a hotel, where am I going?” Y/n was ready to jump out of the car if he said his house. 
“I have a family friend of a friend who is visiting family down in Florida, and she said you can stay there.” 
A weight was lifted off of y/n shoulders, y/n was feeling bold, “You’ve ever been to Florida?”
“I went once to check out a few restaurants when I was younger, you?” Y/n hid it well but she was shaking in nerves because it was the first time in years that she was getting some small talk out of him. 
“I went to Disney with my family and got a heat stroke. How long is your family friend of a friend staying in Florida?”
“More than 2 months later, she left like a few days ago.” That caused some concern for y/n, she was going to stay in a house that had been abandoned for a few days in a new city, it was like the beginning of a B - rated horror film. The possibility of a serial killer waiting to turn her into a lamp shade was probably close to zero but it still freaked her out. Carmen pulled into the driveway carrying all of her bags leaving her with just her purse. 
They approached the front of the house and Carmen opened the door and started placing the suitcases near the entryway, and y/n kept the door open, and Carmen got the hint. She wasn’t going to forge some type of artificial connection by asking him to help her walk through the house for any intruders because that would require her to rely on him. 
To y/n, Carmen was unreliable, he could ignore her for years, only to suddenly offer her rides and engage in small talk. What puzzled her even more was his transition from avoiding eye contact to intensely staring her down. Y/n could tell from the sound that leaked from under the office door that he had an underlying temper, a bad one too. She didn’t want to be swept up in his current and be left high and dry. He seemed like he picked up things quickly and left them just as sporadically. While she recognized his passion for food and cooking, ensuring her job stability, Carmen was…unsteady.
Y/n knew people like him, people who hurt those who were close to them when they felt trapped. What feared y/n the most was what would eventually come out of her mouth if they ever got too close and Carmen said something to make her go away. He would say something vile and y/n would probably say that he is nothing, or that he is a failure, or that it should have been him and not his brother. 
The thought of saying something so profoundly awful and untrue haunted her, making it impossible for her to bear the weight on her conscience. She had crossed that line before and was acutely aware of her limits. Carmen represented that limit—a boundary she couldn't afford to cross—rendering him off-limits in her life.
Carmen left a quiet goodbye and y/n gave him one back before shutting the door grabbing a knife and going through each of the rooms herself. She didn’t need him or anyone. 
Once she went through the house with a fine tooth comb she locked herself in one of the bedrooms, got ready for bed. Her lease in New York expired in a few weeks so she knew she had to fly back to grab her stuff. She couldn’t sleep in this grandma’s house any longer so she grabbed her laptop and started looking for apartments. 
Y/n woke up to the sound of her alarm and she felt nauseous before she remembered that she wasn’t crawling back to the French Laundry, she was trying something new. She got ready and spent the whole morning calling realtors and scheduling showings. She took the train to The Beef and when she came in, it looked like they were about to have some type of meeting outfront. Y/n slipped into the office and was momentarily shocked that Carmen was there. She put her bag behind the chair while Carmen was sitting, subtly telling him to fuck off and that this was her desk now. Carmen got up, “What a good boy? So smart”, y/n chuckled in her head. 
“What is happening out front? Do I need to sit in?” 
“We need to introduce you and we are going to transition to a french brigade, I just spoke to Sydney..”
“How did she take it? You told her you were going to take the lead or did-?”
Carmen was checking his watch obsessively, “She will be fine.” Looks like Carmen was in a hurry and so y/n didn’t even wait for Carmen to open the door before she walked over to the meeting.
She didn’t sit down because there wasn’t a chair for her. She saw the other chefs look at her but no one bothered to ask any questions. Sydney was standing right next to her and y/n saw that she was rehearsing her lines that were written in a small black notebook. 
“Don’t mention the role titles, it's just going to scare them off.” Sydney looked up at her. “And keep it short and don’t fumble your words, you’ll sound like a fourth grader.” Sydney opened her mouth but was cut off by Carmen walking out front. 
Carmen started explaining about how they were getting new aprons, how he wanted to reorganize the kitchen, and how they needed to be clean. He did not yet explain the elephant in the room to the rest of the chefs; who was y/n and what the hell is she doing here? Carmen was interrupted by a tall man walking in very late. 
He took one look at y/n before pointing at her with a coffee cup, “Who are you? Cousin, why are you collecting women?”
“I am y/n, I am the new accountant.” Any form of teasing and snickering died down as a new worry washed over the staff, if Carmen was changing everything he might start changing staff. If y/n could sense it, then so could Carmen and just as she looked up to him for support he quickly excused himself because he had somewhere to be. He just left her to deal with this mess. See? Not stable. 
“Do you have any questions for me?”
“Your not fucking firing anyone.” The tall guy threatened.
“Nobody is getting fired, no one is getting a pay cut and no one is getting replaced. If anything like that happens, that is Carmen’s decision.” Y/n allowed herself to throw Carmen under the bus just once because he left her. 
“I’ll just be keeping the books in order.”
“Richie, sit down.” An older woman instructed. 
“Carmen said something about a French brigade, it's essentially what you guys are doing just with more defined roles, it's not too different. Sydney will elaborate.” Y/n though she did an acceptable job not throwing Sydney head first like Carmen did and Sydney seemed to be a lot more comfortable then she was a few minutes ago. She didn’t title drop and she didn’t fumble. The crew was obviously annoyed but it was over quickly and Sydeny walked over to y/n. 
They walked into the kitchen and Sydeny was feeling overwhelmed because Carmen wasn’t here like he said that he would be. 
“Thanks for the pointers” 
“No problem. Do you need me to help?” Y/n had seen the inner workings of a kitchen before, granted it had been many years prior and in a different restaurant then the French Laundry but she thought that she would be better support then Carmen, who wasn’t even there. 
Y/n spent most of her time calling out orders, tracking what was sent out and doing quality checks, it wasn’t rocket science and she never understood why all those male chefs were screaming all the time, Sydney walked around and did her job as sous-chef. Overall, a very calm transition barring a few hiccups. A few of the chefs tried to steal some onions and y/n had to leave her station and tell them to basically fuck off. Sydney was already tense and doing stupid shit like that would send her over the edge.
The lunch rush was over and y/n was finally reprieved from her duties. She needed some air so she walked outside and into an alley where she saw Carmen.
She was beyond pissed at him, and the sight of him made her boil in rage but she couldn’t leave based on principle. 
“How was Sydney?” Carmen asked.  Y/n felt like murdering him. She took a few deep breaths before continuing to speak. He wouldn't listen to her if she screamed at him.
“You should have been there.” Y/n said with a bit of an edge.
It was quiet for a long time. Y/n put her head back.
“I went to an Al-Anon meeting, my brother was an addict. It’s his birthday today” 
“How often are the meetings? Once a week?” Carmen nodded.
“Did it maybe occur to you to push back the transition one more day so you didn’t leave Sydney alone?” Y/n said calmly and with no malice, she was so exhausted from her lack of sleep, food, and being on her feet all day. 
Carmen didn’t say anything, so y/n continued, “You're a steam roller. You don’t listen to other people and you don't think of other people. You left Sydney to drown, that wasn’t great. Not to mention you didn’t even introduce me.”
Carmen's gaze bore into her with undeniable intensity, yet y/n was too upset with him to be swayed by any semblance of attraction.
“I’ll do better. I’ll listen and be there.”
“We’ll see.” Saying you were going to change was different than actually changing. 
In an attempt to lighten the mood, she graced him with a small smile. "You know, your job isn't that tough," she playfully teased, tilting her head back slightly.
“Really?” Carmen thought she was being serious.
“No kidding, you should hand me your apron and the deed to this restaurant because I just killed it today.” Carmen caught on.
“What did you do today?” 
“Called out orders, made sure things were leaving the kitchen, blah blah blah. Honestly, it's kind of fun. It's like those restaurant management phone games, do you ever play those?” 
“That would hit a little too close to home.” Y/n snickered.
“My head is spinning and I didnt even start the work I'm supposed to do today.” Y/n sat up with a sigh.
“What do you eat?” Y/n didn’t respond. Carmen got up and came back a few minutes later with a plate of food. 
Y/n finished eating before walking inside and finishing up her actual work. The day ended and she was once again the last one left barring Carmen, who offered to drive her back.
As they both sat in the quiet car y/n spoke up, “I have to go back to New York.” Carmen’s grip tightened around the wheel.
“I said I would do better.” 
“I'm not leaving permanently, I need to grab my stuff and tell my landlord that I am leaving.” 
Carmen’s grip loosened, “You found a place here already?”
“I have a few candidates. I might have to leave in the afternoons for a few weeks to check out some places, I'll be back in an hour or two.” 
The rest of the ride was quiet, he dropped her off and y/n crashed into bed. 
__
Y/n had already been working for a few weeks when she came back to a dark restaurant. She walked in and saw Carmen and Fak talking, “ I thought you had a connection.” 
“Yeah, I definitely, definitely did not.” Which was followed by more whispering and then a loud, “Fuck” from Carmen. 
“What’s happening?” Carmen shot a look at Fak that sent him away and Carmen gave her a quick run down, the power was out and they needed 5,500 dollars to repair. 
“There isn’t any money in the budget but maybe if you finance…” Carmen looked around to check if anyone was there before directing her to his office. Y/n turned on her phone flashlight so they could see. 
“I’m going to ask you something, and it's completely hypothetical. Like not even a little bit true and you can tell me what the outcome would be.” Y/n nodded her head.
“Suppose we had a way to get the money but it wasn’t completely…legal…hypothetically. I'm not asking anything illegal because this is hypothetical… but what would happen to the books hypothetically?” 
“You can talk like a regular fucking person, you know, I'm not going to snitch. Do you need me to fix some books?” 
“I shouldn't have said anything.” Carmen started walking towards the door and y/n grabbed his shirt and pushed him towards the chair. He looked up at her and the phone light made her look like a prophecy discovered in a dream, so angel-like. Her words, not so much.
“You brother died so any fuck up that he did will result in us having to pay a fine which is not the end of the world, but if you fuck up… then thats malice and its jail time plus a fine…”
Y/n knew it was harsh so she softened her voice before uttering, “Let me help you, I want to help you.” Carmen was having a hard time focusing, she wanted to help him which means that she cared about him. Maybe her words were like an angel. 
“Is it a one time payment or is it…” Camen wasn’t responding, he was just looking up at her. Before she could ask what his problem was, he interrupted.
“I have to ask Richie.” Carmen peeled himself off the chair and opened the door for y/n. They walked to the front where y/n saw Richie and Fak were glaring at each other. Carmen and y/n took a seat.
“What is she doing here?” Richie said while not hiding his disdain for her. 
“She has to make this legal.” Carmen explained. 
Rcihie signaled for Carmen and Fak to come closer. “WHY DID YOU BRING A FUCKING NARC HERE?” Richie yelled into Carmen’s ears which made him reel back and clutch his ear. Y/n had to look away to hide her laughter. 
Carmen rushed to her defense, “She isn’t-”
“I won't. I'm just going to clean it up and we will never have to talk about it again.”
“We can’t trust her, why would you fucking bring her?” He asked Carmen who repeated what she said to him in the office about malice and jail. 
“I know you don’t trust me but I need this place running so that everyone here has a job next month. I don’t even need to know how you got it.”
Richie looked like he was thinking, before he threatened, “If you squeal i’m going to put your head on a fucking stick.” He looked like he was apprehensive but realized that this was the only way to protect Carmen so he had to risk trusting her. 
Y/n didn’t pay attention to their little squabble afterwards, but then the lights flickered on. They were back in business. Carmen slammed his palms on the counter and exclaimed a relieved, “Fuck” which made y/n short circuit for a second. It was nice to hear him happy for a change.
The rest of the day was spent creating fake receipts and adjusting inventory to account for the new money. It was busy work and after a long time, Carmen came into her office, it was her office for sure, squatters rights. 
“Are we good?”
“The IRS will be none the wiser…” Y/n said she wouldn’t ask but the curiosity was killing her.
“How did you guys get the money?”
“I don’t want to put you in deeper shit and this isn’t your scene.” He looked like he regret dragging her into his mess in the first place.
“Did you know when I was younger I used to shoplift.” Carmen looked at her with a raised eyebrow. 
“You don’t need to lie to-.” 
“I used to walk into stores and steal, I had the money to buy stuff but sometimes I just felt like taking something…so I did.” She wanted to be on an even playing ground as him so he wouldn’t hesitate to come to her in case something like this happened again. She couldn’t do her job if he hid stuff from her.
“You want to know what the most expensive thing I stole?” 
“I still don’t believe you stole anything.” He said with a laugh. 
“I stole someone’s wallet. It had $527 dollars and a bunch of credit cards, Ethan Thompson. Slid it right out of his pocket.” 
“What did you do with the money?” Carmen asked. Y/n debated lying but she thought honesty was how he would learn to trust her.
“I didn’t spend it, I waited outside till he came out and gave the wallet back. Told him that he dropped it. It was the only thing I ever gave back.” Carmen stared at her with a bewildered expression before laughing into his palm. 
“That seems like something you would do.” 
“Why do you say that?” Y/n was offended that he was insinuating that she was a loser.
“You are honest to a fault. Brutally honest.” 
“It's hard work but I try. Would you have returned it?” Carmen nodded his head. 
“Yeah, I bet you would have gone the extra mile and turned it into the police.”
A lull of silence passed and it was clear that Carmen wasn’t going to tell her so she switched topics. 
“I don’t want to be mean, but sometimes that's the only way I can get people to listen to me…I’ve been working on it.” 
Carmen didn’t want to be a smart-ass and say that he noticed a significant difference from her behavior towards him now compared to New York. She didn’t look like she was disgusted by him anymore. A bit of him wondered if he could change as effortlessly as y/n, she made it look so easy. 
“By the way…I'm going to take this office. Like it's mine now.” Carmen wondered if she was joking because she had a smile on her face.
“If you want it, take it. I never want to see another spreadsheet in my life.” If y/n smiled at him like that it would be nearly impossible for him to say no to anything. It was like finally getting her approval after working hard to get it in New York, like when he used to wake up early so he could walk in with her and open the door for her. 
There was a lull of and just as Carmen was going to fill it with a probing question y/n beat him to it. 
"Was it a murder-for-hire?" Y/n inquired, but Carmen remained silent, his expression unreadable.
"Sex work? Tax evasion? Robbery? Drugs?..." y/n continued, listing off possibilities, and in that moment, Carmen's lips tightened imperceptibly. It was a subtle movement, one that might have gone unnoticed by most, but for y/n, it was captivating, drawing her further into his enigmatic presence.
“Drugs.” She said with a slight smile,  
“I'm not admitting to anything. Did you find a place you liked?” Carmen wanted to distract her but he also wanted to keep her here longer and he finally had the confidence and momentum to keep her talking.
“I found one, it’s like 20 minutes from here. One-bedroom but it looks much better than my shit box in New York. And they are going to hold it for a while while i get my shit from back home” 
“What neighborhood?” Carmen’s heart leaped when she said the same neighborhood that he stayed in, but he controlled himself.
“That new building? I walk past it everyday.” Carmen didn’t offer to carpool because he didn’t want to hear a rejection. That would kill any confidence he might have gained in the last few weeks. 
“We're neighbors, that's nice. You have a car, can we carpool?” Carmen wondered if she could read minds. 
“I get here early and leave late-”
“I’ll just come and go when you do. I don’t have anything else to do in Chicago anyways…I booked a flight for tomorrow morning to get my stuff.” She moves fast Carmen thought. It was admirable how she knew what she wanted, planned her moves and executed them in record time. He wondered if she ever panicked and fumbled like he did, if she did he never saw it. 
“What time is your flight?”
“Seven” 
“I can drive you.” Y/n wondered if this was too much, she didn’t want to rely on him. 
“I’ll take a cab, you have to be here for Sydney.” She didn’t leave Carmen any room to argue. 
The next couple of months were much better than Carmen thought was possible. Y/n had engrained herself in their team, and Carmen was able to get his eight hours of sleep every night. They finally had enough money to not feel like the whole restaurant was going to crash and burn.
Sydney had brought up the idea of to-go orders placed through a tablet and after much deliberation and consulting with y/n, he decided to give it ago. 
Y/n had stepped out to sign for delivery and was making some pleasant conversation before she heard some commotion from the kitchen. She bid the delivery man a goodbye before walking in to see what the situation was. 
Y/n had never seen the kitchen in such chaos since her first day. Carmen's voice reverberated, barking out orders, while Sydney unleashed her own tirade upon Marcus for mishandling the cake cutting. Tension hung heavily in the air, thickening the atmosphere. It was clear to y/n that this wouldn’t end well. Jogging over to Sweeps, who thankfully wasn't completely overwhelmed, she learned that Sydney had messed up the to-go order settings, resulting in a barrage of pre-orders due within a few minutes. Y/n hesitated for a moment, positioning herself in a corner, desperately searching for a way to be of use amidst the chaos. With her limited culinary skills, she felt somewhat helpless, unsure of where she could provide the most assistance.
“Um, I’m doing them in five–” Sydney stuttered.
“No, no, stop. Fire everything right fucking now!”
“Step out.” He was interrupted by Sydney’s excuses.
“GET THE FUCK OFF MY EXPO, CHEF, NOW!” That made y/n jump, she heard him yell before but this was a lot worse, the shock made it impossible for her to look anywhere but the back of his head.  
Just as things looked like they couldn't get worse she heard a loud crash and saw two cakes on the floor. Y/n rushed over there to de-escalate and practically had to rip Sydney away from Richie.
“I said corner.” Richie said childishly. Y/n was starting to feel like a babysitter. And just as y/n was about to run over to her office to hide, she hears Sydney snap at Tina. Y/n guides Tina away from Sydney. 
“Somebody get me a fucking sharpie!” Carmen bellowed and y/n ran to the office and pulled out a few and placed them in front of Carmen then walked back to her little corner. She heard that Richie and Sydney were at it again, sensing that round two was going to be worse she had to go check on that mess. Sydney is harping on and on about how much of a loser Richie and y/n was forced to step in when she hears Sydney talk about Richie’s daughters while waving a knife. 
“What the fuck are you guys’ doing? We do not have the time for your asinine bullshit?” Sydney doesn’t even look over and y/n had to tug at Richie to get him to step down, normally y/n would appeal to Sydney’s good graces but she couldn’t go near her when she was waving a knife around. 
“Richie, why don’t we take a step back and-” y/n asked. 
“WHY ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME!” Y/n turned her head and saw Carmen squishing something Marcus gave him before throwing it on the floor. 
“Yo, Cousin, just fuckin chill-” Richie stepped back and even when she saw where the knife was headed she was to slow to do anything. Richie walked into the knife and blood started pouring out. 
Y/n felt her breath pick up, her palms started to itch, and she was seeing double. She fought her nerves and led Richie to the front where Ebra would dress his wounds. Y/n didn’t want to look at Richie’s bare ass but she had to make sure it wasn’t bad enough to warrant a hospital trip, it didn’t and y/n saw that as a complete win. 
Y/n ran back to the kitchen towards Sydney where she was sitting near the lockers. She was about to leave. 
“We need you, you can’t leave. Tell me what I need to do to fix this.” Y/n desperate, she knew the face of someone who had given up and she saw it all over Sydney. 
“He is being a little bitch.” Y/n didn’t know how to fix Carmen’s attitude so she did the next best thing, stall.
“Please, give me a day to fix this. I’ll have him come around and apologize, I'll make him regret even getting out of bed. Just please stay till this blows over. We need you. Please.” Y/n was beyond desperate, she couldn't stand doing Carmen’s job of managing his team but she forced herself to pull through. Sydney backed down and went to the sink to wash her knife before going back to prep. 
Y/n hears Carmen walk over to Sydney and ask, “We good, chef?”, who wasn’t responding. This bastard was so incredibly dense y/n almost wanted Sydney to blow up in his stupid face and maybe stab him in the ass too but she denied herself that pleasure and quickly diverted Carmen over to the expo. 
“Now is not the time. Do this later… Please.” Y/n was grasping at straws here and she wasn’t even given the satisfaction of being able to yell at someone. Carmen went back to his expo but not before bending down and eating something off the floor. He has definitely lost it, y/n muttered. 
She went to find Marcus who was just about to leave. She thanked him for today and apologized on Carmen’s behalf. Y/n didn’t want to be a bitch but Marcus was not high on her priority list right now, him leaving would let her deal with less people and make her job easier. 
She ran out front to check up on Richie again. “Please tell me you're okay.” He gave a small laugh and then a grunt. She saw that he was grasping an empty carton of cigarettes. 
Y/n didn’t know how, but the storm passed and the doors opened for customers. Y/n slipped out and bought a carton of cigarettes and some painkillers from a nearby gas station and handed them over to Richie.
“I know this isn’t even a good enough apology but I’m really sorry about today.”
“You didn’t do anything.” 
“You're not going to get an apology from Sydney for a while so let my apology be a placeholder.” Y/n rounded her eyes and tried to see if there was any residual tension from this morning and to her relief Richie was fine. 
“Tell me if you need something.” She then went back to the kitchen and Sydney was still cutting stuff and Carmen was yelling out orders with less fury. Y/n wasn’t going to have anything positive to say to either of them so she would wait till after the lunch rush. She slipped back to the front and sat on a bar stool with her laptop. She couldn’t face either of the chefs right now. 
Looking at Sydney was difficult, and the longer that y/n waited out front with Richie to make sure he didn’t die of blood loss while manning the front, the more pissed she got at Sydney for not having the decency to come out to check up on Richie or even apologize. 
Looking at Carmen was even more difficult, a part of y/n wanted to be proven wrong about her previous notions about pretentious chefs. But both Sydney and Carmen were the only one’s screaming and that because they felt like they were entitled to it, that they were the only ones who were allowed to be stressed and upset. They were selfish and that was a painful thing for y/n to admit about Carmen because that meant that his promise to change when she first came here was a lie. He couldn’t handle any type of stress without flipping out and she wondered if this was even the right profession for him. 
The lunch crowd died down and she directed Sydney towards her office and shut the door, “You want to tell me what happened today?” Y/n faked the sincerity, Sydney wouldn’t talk if y/n was hostile.
“Carmen was being a dick. Everyone else is dealing with the same shit but now…” Y/n didn’t want to hear anything else for her. 
“How is Richie?” Y/n asked with a bit of an edge. 
“He walked into my kni-” 
“That’s not what I asked.” 
“I don’t know, okay? But it was his fault,” Y/n had to remind herself to take a few deep breaths, she wouldn’t let her anger get the best of her and she would refrain from yelling.
“When you finish with your shift, can you please talk to Richie, at least pretend like you care that you stabbed someone.”
“He called me a bitch and was all over my station, he deserved it, ” 
“You deserved to be called more than a bitch.” Y/n regretted the words as soon as they came out but she wasn’t going to lose face. Sydney looked shocked but y/n kept her face stoic.
“Talk to him.” 
Sydney didn’t respond but y/n knew she wouldn’t talk to Richie. 
Y/n felt her blood bubbling, “You could move to fucking Timbuktu and be a chef there and you still wouldn’t rise above average, do you know why?” Y/n didn’t give her a chance to answer. 
“It's because you are the problem, you are selfish and you don’t think. You can quit here and never look back and you know what is going to happen next? You're going to find another job and then leave that job and then find another job and leave that one too and keep doing that till you die.” It was getting harder for y/n to breathe. It felt like the walls were closing in. 
“I have been gracious enough to give you the space to grow, I told Carmen to make you sous but every second that I take my eyes off either of you, it's like shit hits the fan. Are neither of you capable of doing your jobs?” Y/n was ranting. 
“If today was so bad that you have to make someone else's life miserable and then whine about yourself, you shouldn’t even be allowed to work in soup kitchens.” Y/n took a painful deep breath, her head was spinning and she was suppressing the urge to start dry-heaving. 
“You will forever be nothing unless you change, you are impatient, selfish, whiny, annoying, vindictive, and…and..” Y/n had to end on a good note or else Sydney might actually quit. 
“..capable of doing better. I have seen the way you cook and manage a kitchen when it's not a shit storm. I bet in a few years you're going to make Carmen’s food taste like MREs. You are destined for good things but that will only happen when you grow up.” 
Sydney was quiet before she stomped out of y/n’s office and slammed the door shut. 
Y/n sank down onto the floor, her breaths coming in shallow gasps. It was as if she had been transported back to New York, constantly juggling her and her co-worker’s workload and assuming the role of the villain. She desperately sought control, but the grip of the panic attack tightened its hold, leaving her feeling vulnerable and exposed. Tears welled up in her eyes, blurring her vision as she fought to regain control over her racing thoughts. It was an exhausting battle, one that felt all too familiar. She grasped at the chair trying to stay up right but after a few moments of dizziness, she slipped to the ground. 
She was keenly aware that she couldn't single-handedly orchestrate transformative change in just a few short months but she thought that Carmen would at least learn to step up. She longed for a sense of calm and it burned to know that Carmen was incapable of being that for her now. The knowledge weighed heavily on y/n's heart. The realization that Carmen, the one person she had hoped could offer her some semblance of stability and support because he said he would, was not yet equipped to be that pillar for her. It was a painful acknowledgement, one that underscored the inherent instability that defined their dynamic. Carmen was not stable. 
Y/n took a few deep breaths, wiped her tears, and stood up after pushing her sadness and disappointment with Sydney and, more importantly, Carmen in a deep crevice in her mind. 
The kitchen had lost two chefs but it was still running smoothly because it was a slow day. Y/n discreetly circled the kitchen, she made a conscious effort to conceal the fact that her blood was boiling, striving to maintain composure amidst the chaos.
And just as she was about to retreat to her office, the man of the fucking hour decided to show up. 
“Bad news guys, we have to close for dinner today because we are having a bachelor party in the front.” Y/n looked at a few sips of water, she needed to ground herself and resist throwing the cup of ice water in his face. Carmen glanced up at her and was met with the same eyes from New York, the ones which were glaring at him, disgusted with him, hated him. Y/n walked over to the alley and Carmen followed her even when she didn’t ask. 
Y/n indicated that he sat down with a pointed look with her eyes, y/n stayed standing. 
“I was hired to be your accountant, but today I was playing babysitter for a bunch of grown fucking adults. Why am I walking around your kitchen and apologising to your fucking staff while you do absolutely nothing.” She took a staggered breath.
"They were goddamn pre-orders, for crying out loud! If they were a little late, it's not like a customer would barge into the fucking kitchen to hang you. You guys have already had a C health rating and got into a fight with some customers a while back, so clearly customer satisfaction isn’t the issue.” The corners of her eyes were turning hazy. 
“Why the hell do other people have to clean up your damn mess? How hard would it have been for you to tell Richie to inform the customers that the orders were going to be a bit late?” Carmen didn’t look up, keeping his focus on y/n’s shoes. 
“Not fucking difficult at all, its like…like you wanted an excuse to be a prick.”
“Its your fucking entitlement, you are just like Sydney. You are selfish and you will never amount to anything unless you learn to deal with your problems. I mean this in the most blunt and sincere way possible: go to fucking therapy. If money's a problem, I'll foot the bill. I want you to go there and let them throw every damn thing they have at you, from drawing pictures to giving you a fucking lobotomy." Y/n’s face was getting hot and she could feel her forehead burn up.
“You are running a kitchen in a shitty neighborhood with people who would be happy if you served them insulation in between two pieces of drywall, it has never and will never be that serious.” Y/n gave herself some time to breathe before giving him a little bit more. 
“You’re the head of the kitchen, you're supposed to be everyone’s support. You have to be…s-stable.” It was difficult for y/n to choke out that word, it hurt too much. “Your team shouldn’t have to walk on fucking eggshells when things get tough.”
“You promised me that you would do better, that is the whole reason I chose to stay. Did you know that I was going to tell you that I changed my mind after I accepted your job offer? I didn’t because you promised you would be better…do better.” Y/n knew there was some stuff she missed but she was exhausted and wanted to go back. She uncrossed her arms and knew that it was time to do some damage control again.
They stayed in silence for a long time before y/n let out a deep sigh, “I'm sorry, it's just… today was a lot when it really didn’t need to be.” Y/n sat down right next to Carmen, she gave him a few inches of space, he still wasn’t looking at her. 
Carmen did well with praise y/n recalled, “You are a very talented chef and you are great at organizing a kitchen but that's very different from managing a kitchen with people in it.” A silence passed through them and y/n gave him the benefit of the doubt.
“Marcus was completely wrong and I don’t fault you for that. I know I would have done the same thing. What kind of idiot worries about donuts when everyone is asking you about cakes?”
“They were good.” Y/n almost missed it but she was glad she didn’t. That meant that she hadn’t completely broken him. 
“I bet they taste even better off the floor.” Y/n chuckled and even if Carmen doesn’t join her, he does pick his head up and look at her. The fact that she was still able to smile after ripping him to shreds was very reminiscent of many people in his life. He knew that she was probably right but he also knew that aspects of her criticism would keep him up at night for years to come
“Was I too much? ” Y/n asked.
“I needed to hear it…” Y/n let them stew in silence. 
“You need to find the root of your issues and fix them.” Y/n offered. 
“Are we good?” Carmen asked. Y/n was tempted to say yes so that they could move on but she had a feeling that was too easy for him. She worked hard today to be a force of stability and support for everyone and saying yes to Carmen’s question only comforted him. Y/n wanted to be comforted for once.
“No.” Carmen’s face betrayed his shock. 
“What can I do to fix it?” Carmen was desperate.
Y/n sighed before closing her eyes. Y/n didn’t respond because she didn’t know how either.  
Carmen felt a heat crawling up his chest, a sense of being trapped. He knew he could go back to Sydney, apologize, and promise to change, and they would be good. He knew that if he checked up on Richie, they would be good. He knew that if he swallowed his pride and prepared family dinner today, he would be in good standing with the rest of his team.
But Carmen was starting to realize that he didn’t really know enough about y/n to make this good. Carmen spent a lot of his time overthinking every minute detail of his life but no matter how hard he tried to come up with something to fix this, nothing seemed right. He couldn’t leave because he knew if he did that would be admitting defeat and that would ruin any friendship he earned with y/n but he couldn’t find the right words.
She couldn’t leave Carmen without it killing him. Her words echoed in his head and he tried to find a clue, something that would give him an opening to learn more about her so she wouldn’t leave the restaurant, leave him. 
“Why did you hate me? Back in New York.” It was a risk but it felt like his only option. Y/n parted her lips a few times, it was like she was formulating a response that wouldn’t hurt him. He didn’t need her to comfort him, he needed to comfort her.
“Don’t lie, y/n.”
“I didn’t hate you.” Y/n conceded. 
“Don’t bullshit me. The way you looked at me-”. Y/n didn’t know that she was being that obvious.
“You were…I don’t…” Y/n realized she had placed Carmen in an impossible situation by asking him to fix something without providing guidance, as she herself didn't know how to rectify her past mistakes without any guidance.
“I was really unhappy with my job and I thought that if I had someone, if I had you, we could stick together. We used to come and leave work at the same time, we were polite, you seemed like a nice guy. We could have helped each other out, I wanted so badly to have someone to rely on. It was selfish of me to put that pressure on you, I shouldn’t have done that…” That was the diluted version of the story, y/n was willing to take the blame for everything in New York but Carmen didn’t look satisfied, so she continued. 
“I used to hand you your paycheck and you never made eye contact. I didn’t even know your eyes were blue until I had been working there for two months.” Carmen locked his eyes on y/n’s.
“I would try to talk to you and you never responded, I didn’t even know what you sounded like. You called me a few months ago and I didn’t even know it was you because you never said a word to me. I used to think that you thought you were too good to talk to me.” Carmen fiddles with his finders and y/n had to tear her eyes away from his hand so she could focus.
“I worked hard for a while to get close to you but you clearly weren’t interested. I took the hint and backed off. The looks were…immature and stupid but I couldn’t help it…I hated my job and you were an easy target. It's easy to hate something you know nothing about.”
“Do you hate me now?” Carmen whispered. 
“Not anymore.” Y/n responded softly. 
Carmen's shoulders visibly relaxed as he heard Y/n's response. Relief washed over him, mingled with a renewed sense of hope. 
Carmen replied, his voice filled with sincerity. "I never wanted you to hate me. I just...you would look at me like that and it was one more reason that convinced me that I wasn’t fucking good enough for that job.”
Y/n had the daunting realization that she was one of the reasons why he left the French Laundry, why he left her. She felt extra guilt for yelling at Carmen for fucking up and being selfish when she did the same thing without knowing it. She blinked back some tears, she needed to hear this, even if it hurt. 
“I'm sorry, I was completely-.” 
“I used to be scared of you.” Carmen interrupted. Y/n sat up and raised an eyebrow.
“Why?” she asked in pure bewilderment.
“It felt like you were leagues ahead of me…it's like comparing an ant to…umm…” Carmen was struggling to spit something out, “divinity.” That made y/n widen her eyes and lean forward.
"I never saw you as beneath me, y/n. You were always on a higher plane, like we lived in different fucking planets." Carmen's voice held a touch of reverence, acknowledging the perceived disparity in their positions. 
“You were always so…perfect. I never saw you struggle. Even now, you pick things up fast, people like you, you are great at whatever you do, you never get mad for no reason.”
“People don’t like me and I did get mad for no reason, I just yelled at Sydney before I got to you.”
“We deserved it.”
"It wasn't my place. It's your kitchen, and I shouldn't have gotten involved." Carmen felt sick. She was distancing herself from the kitchen and from him. She was trying to run away and he couldn't let that happen.
“I wouldn’t have anything left if you left.”
“You would have been fine, you would have Sydney.” 
“But you…you…belong here. I can’t do this without you.” Carmen felt like she was slipping from his fingers and he was trying to grasp on to any part of her that he could convince to stay. 
“Give me a reason to stay, Carmen.” Y/n's whispered with a mixture of longing and uncertainty. She wasn't sure what words were left to be spoken, but she knew she had to say his name. Y/n wanted his name to swirl around her tongue, and imprint the feeling of his name leaving her lips. 
Y/n shifted her gaze, positioning herself to face him directly, and her eyes couldn't help but gravitate towards his slightly parted lips. It was clear that he had something to say, and she leaned in, eager to catch every word. In response, Carmen shortened the distance, drawn by the intimate proximity. It felt as if he was about to share a secret with her, a whisper that only they would hear.
With their faces mere inches apart, Carmen's right hand softly landed on the seat beside Y/n's thigh, subtly adjusting their positioning to align their faces. Y/n’s right hand began to rise, caressing his face tenderly. Y/n locked in with his cerulean eyes wondering if she was the only one feeling this. She tested the waters by running her thumb across his lips. They were a bit chapped from biting them all morning. 
Feeling the touch of Y/n's thumb on his lips, Carmen's breath caught in his throat. It was a gentle caress that sent shivers down his spine.
“We shouldn’t do this.” Y/n mumbled as she leaned in closer. 
Without breaking eye contact, Carmen reached up, gently cupping Y/n's face with his hand, his touch conveying tenderness and longing.
WIth a hoarse whisper, Carmen pleaded, “Kiss me, y/n.”
Y/n closed the gap and it was a collision of pent-up passion and aching yearning. Y/n's fingers tangled in Carmen's hair, pulling him even closer. Carmen’s thumb stroked y/n’s jaw and he couldn’t believe how soft her skin was. Their bodies pressed together, feeling the heat and intensity of their shared desire. Time seemed to stand still as they lost themselves in the sensation of each other. Every touch, every gentle nip of their lips, fueled the hunger that had been building between them for so long. It was a kiss filled with the weight of unspoken words. 
Carmen didn’t want to pull away because he wasn’t sure if he would ever get another kiss, he wanted this one to last. He didn’t want to regret 20 years in the future not kissing for a few moments longer. 
Y/n, breathless and in need of a moment to regain composure, pulled away from the kiss. Soft gasps escaped her lips as she tried to steady her racing heart. Carmen, caught in a blissful daze, found himself unable to flutter his eyes open. Carmen remained in a suspended state, savoring the lingering sensation of y/n's touch.
Carmen’s phone buzzed and that wasn’t enough to ground him. He felt like he was floating. If he didn’t move and really focused, he could convince himself that he was still kissing y/n. 
He felt y/n’s hand slid up his apron and trail up his leg. Carmen's breath hitched, his senses heightened, as anticipation swirled in the air. He sat still, nervous to do something like this in public but if y/n wanted him to do something he would do it in a heartbeat. He trusted y/n completely, willing to follow her lead without hesitation.
Finally, Y/n's hand reached its destination, and Carmen's pulse quickened. Y/n pulled something out—his phone. 
Confusion flickered across his features as he watched Y/n's playful expression. Y/n was teasing him, realizing the momentary tension she had caused. Carmen's anxiety gave way to relief, his lips curving into a smile of his own. He completely forgot about the buzzing so she answered the phone for him and brought it closer to his ear. He took the phone from her hands ensuring that their fingers grazed. It was a small, subtle gesture, yet it held the power to ignite sparks of electricity that danced along his skin.
“Yo, cousin. Where the fuck are you?” 
“Why?” Carmen wanted to stay with her for longer but Richie, being a gigantic cockblock, was ruining that for him. 
“You're out past your curfew. Why do you think?” Richie remarked sarcastically. “You still have a job, you can't just sit around in an alley like some kind of fucking sewer rat.” 
“Richie, I swear to fucking good if the kitchen is fine and you dragged me back there for no reason, im gonna stab your other ass cheek.” Carmen waited till Richie started to talk back before hanging up on him, he was being petty. Carmen saw that y/n tucked her lips to prevent a laugh from escaping.
Carmen sat wordlessly, not wanting to leave just yet. Y/n stood up and Carmen followed her. As they stood face to face, Y/n's hands instinctively brushed his hair back into place, fixing any stray strands. With gentle precision, she smoothed out the wrinkles on his shirt sleeves and straightened his apron.
Y/n's finger traced lightly across his lips a few times, and a mischievous smirk fell on her lips. "Your lips are going to be a problem," she teased, a twinkle of amusement in their eyes. Carmen's mind momentarily scattered, unable to fully focus.
"Y/n?" Carmen's voice wavered slightly, his thoughts still clouded by desire. 
Y/n, sensing his internal struggle, mustered a playful yet firm resolve. "Go back to the restaurant, I’m still mad at you." she gently nudged him toward the alley exit with an addictive smirk. 
Carmen blinked, trying to gather his thoughts amidst the haze of longing. 
"But when-" Y/n interrupted, her voice filled with anticipation. 
"I'll see you in just a few minutes."
As he busied himself with checking on Richie and apologizing to Sydney, Carmen didn’t miss how y/n slipped inside and walked into the office.
Carmen was still pissed at Richie, who was counting the money in the drawer as they were about to close early to do family dinner.
“Why even bother calling if the place is empty, you dick?” Carmen said in a huff.
“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you sucking face with your new girlfriend.” Carmen’s jaw went slack.
“Carmy, you're so handsome.” Richie said in a hushed girly tone, mocking y/n’s voice. 
“How-” Carmen started.
“You left and y/n left and you both came back within 5 fucking minutes of each other.”  Carmen parted his lips trying to form a response. 
“You should learn to hide this stuff better. Your lack of girlfriends is catching up to you.”
__
End Notes:
This is purely experimental so I will most likely not write stuff like this in the future, but if people like it, who knows?
We can delude ourselves into thinking that Carmen would be boyfriend material, but he most definitely isn't. I wanted to write something with an unreliable y/n who complains that Carmen has all these anger issues, is domineering, doesn't listen to people, is controlling, is selfish, is extremely unstable, etc. However, she is exactly the same; she just doesn't realize it.
At the end of the day, Carmen meshes well with people who are similar to him, which is why he is close with Sydney and sometimes Richie (their shared love of Michael and The Beef). I wanted to write something where he pursues someone who has similar flaws as him. I guess it's up to you guys to figure out if it's the start of personal growth on both ends or if it's a doomed romance.
Part 2
2K notes · View notes
dcxdpdabbles · 9 months
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Hello ❤️
Can you please write something about Jason x Danny? Maybe something about Jason having a crush on this new guy (maybe Danny works in a library or helping people as a nurse) and just falling cause Danny is sincerely nice and isn't afraid of his Lazarus's rage
Jason first notices the new face volunteering at the soup kitchen when the guy hand-makes flour tortillas for the beans. Just like his mom used to make, alongside Mrs. Huerea before she got into drugs.
It's been years since he last had some, not because Alfred refuses to make it but because the butler never has the time.
It's usually a treat for Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, or his birthday. Sometimes if Jason is lucky, there is another important holiday for the many members of Wayne Manor, and there is time for Alfred to get them done. He can have them more.
But mostly, Alfred had them store-bought.
That's why he wanders to the other man's line, mouth already watering as the volunteer piles smashed beans with cheese and tortillas onto plates. A name tag has a simple "Danny" on top of a white NASA shirt coupled with slightly baggy pants is the whole outfit of the stranger - odd in Gotham's winter time.
He offers Jason a smile, then, with a wink, places two more fresh tortillas on his plate.
Before he can say anything, Danny pushes the plate toward him. "I can tell you're a man who appreciates fine food. Take them. I can always make more. "
He jerks a thumb to the back, where a press awaits use. It looks just like Mrs. Huerea's iron-clad tool that, for a second, he's six again, early happy the women preparing for Christmas.
When his mother was sober, the Huereas had always opened their home to them. The elderly couple had always felt like grandparents to him.
"Thanks," He says around a forming grin. It matches Danny's.
Jason accepts the food with an excited thrill; for once, the memories of his mother are not so bitter and ruined. He moves out of the way for the next person, making a mental note to tell his men to ensure Danny gets home safely after his shift. It would be in his employee's way.
He does this often, assigning some Red Hood boys to make sure no one bothers any of the volunteers. Jason knows he can't get rid of all crime, not like Bruce believes, but he can at least protect those trying to make this place less of a shit hole.
He sits, savoring the flavor with great appreciation. He's got time to relax a little.
One of his Lieutenant is in the back, speaking to the director of the Soup Kitchen. This is one of Jason's protected areas, but to make sure people know it's not to be taken lightly, the Red Hood gang does require protection money.
He doesn't ask a lot but Jason knows that any place that doesn't have protection money is a bigger target. Of course he also here pretending to be hungry just to make sure the place is actually doing what they promised to do and feed people.
When Jason first took over, this particular place had been known to only give out half of the money they donated in food. The rest was going into the old director's pocket. When he caught wind of the senior director often refusing kids just to save money to steal, Jason quickly fed him to the fish.
His Lieutenant, Rogers, would not be able to recognize him. Jason was eating without a mask. What better disguise than his own dead face? Much less the other people in the soup kitchen.
Although he was meant to observe his surroundings for any funny business, Jason glued his eyes on Danny the entire time. It seemed the man had an easy smile for everyone and a calming personality that seemed to put even the most hostile at ease.
Snow. Jason thinks while watching Danny make more tortillas while chatting with a street kid until the young girl feels she could make one. He lets her round the table easily, showing her how to press down on the metal lever with the same soft ease. He's like pure white snow.
He would not last long in Crime Alley. Nothing pure ever does.
Jason fishes his food, unable to look away from what he knows would be a broken man in only a few weeks.
He leaves just as Rogers returns to the front clutching a brown bag. It looks like he didn't need to worry about the upkeeping of this place. He needs to check on the other kitchens in his territory before the day is out.
After three other Kitchens, Jason is satisfied that he's secured two. He must send Rogers to the last one because a few girls seemed uncomfortable with the leering crew. He'll have the creeps removed by this Friday.
He's swinging around as Red Hood on his normal patrol when he catches sight of Danny again. It's close to two in the morning, so he's surprised to see the other man cheerfully strolling about without any signs of exhaust.
He's also not wearing warm clothing despite the snow slowly falling around them. The only difference between what he was wearing earlier is the large black backpack. Jason half wonders if Danny only has nothing else to wear until the man pauses at an alley entry.
He crouches down, unzipping his bag, before pulling out a plastic-wrapped package. Jason watches him cautiously walk into the alley, following on the roofs out of curiosity.
His eyes widen when he spots a young boy hiding behind a trash bin, squishing himself against the wall as Danny carefully approaches him.
Jason hadn't seen the kid when he had passed by earlier, likely due to the boy knowing how to hide himself in the shadows. How had Danny seen him?
"Go away!" The boy yells when Danny gets too close for comfort. Jason's hackles rise, pulling out his gun in case he needs to intervene. He remembers the days when the sound of approaching footsteps to his hiding places in the streets meant.
Danny stops just on the other side of the trash bin. He places the package on top of it and backs away quickly. "I don't mean to bother you. But I thought you could use these. Stay warm, and if you need to escape the snowstorm, go to the address in the right pocket."
The boy doesn't answer, and Danny doesn't seem to wait for one. He leaves with quick strides. Jason watches him from the roof, noticing he returns to a slow stroll once he's back on the main street.
Below, the street kid carefully pulls the plastic bag towards him once he knows Danny is gone. He unwraps the bag only to gasp in delight at the jacket, gloves, hat, scarf, and socks inside. He quickly slips them on, burying himself in the small amounts of warmth they offer him.
Jason watches the boy for a few minutes before jumping down. The kid scrambles away until he realizes it's Rood Hood. Everyone knows that he won't harm street kids.
"Hey," He says, noting that the boy's new clothes seem to be made from expensive material, all in black and neon green. "Do you have somewhere warm to sleep tonight? Snowstorm is coming."
"I can handle it." The boy scoffs despite the shivers that wrack his body.
"I know you can. But it's not safe out here" He kneels at the boy's eye level. He seems about twelve, likely new to the streets since he has yet to find proper shelter. Dirty blond hair and dark, weary brown eyes stare back at him as Jason offers. "Let me get you somewhere safe."
"I won't go back to the stupid system."
"Nah, that shit's broken. I got a safe house for you to crash in."
The boy thinks it over. "Just us?"
Jason isn't a mind reader to know what the kid fears. "No. It's full of other people."
It takes a few more minutes, but eventually, he convinces Max to follow him. They travel across Crime Alley to one of the empty warehouses he had turned into an illegal shelter. Inside are various Red Hood gangsters passing out blankets and setting up cots for people from the streets to sleep.
The heaters are on, but a few still refuse to remove their warm clothing- likely in fear of theft or that it proves an extra layer of comfort- as they settle down.
Max thanks him as the boy rushes to a corner that seems to be taken over by children. He doesn't approach the others to speak to, but he looks more comfortable picking a cot close to them. Jason's eyes widen slightly when he realizes that all seven children are wearing some form of the Black and Neon Green outfits Danny had given Max.
Rogers strolls up next to him, nodding his chin at the children. "Some street kids have been saying a man is offering them free supplies. He doesn't ask for anything in return and leaves them alone with they tell him to. His calling card is the little neon green ghost he places on each item. Want me to take a few of our boys and check him out?"
Jason grunts. "No need. I already know who it is. He seems like a non-threat."
Rogers appears flabbergasted for only a few seconds before pulling himself together. "If you say so, boss."
Jason turns to stare at the man, and Rogers raises his hands. "All I'm saying is that it's a little odd how good the guy is at spotting street kids."
"How good is he?"
"It's like he can see in the dark. He might be a meta."
Jason thinks back to Danny walking around in his light clothes like it's the middle of summer instead of winter and finds some weight in the meta-theory. "I'll pay him a visit soon."
Rogers lets the matter drop, even if he is confused by Jason's involvement. Usually, he has some of the newest members of the youngest ones who reckon a personable target- or new recruits.
But something about Danny called out to Jason. He couldn't say it, but the man's snow-like personality eased the Pit Rage in him. Strangely it felt like Danny was the calm winter promising rest to the wounded parts of Jason's soul.
He didn't want to see Danny's pure heart ruined by this city.
Jason wonders if he could keep it safe and if Danny will even give him the chance to try.
He hopes so. Danny has such a lovely smile.
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astraystayyh · 10 months
Text
seungmin taking off his mask brainrot. allusion to sex but no smut. still mdni.
honestly i struggled with tagging this, because it's not smut but also not fluff either hshshs enemies to fwb??? anyways i hope this reaches its target audience,, enjoy <33 (lowercase intended)
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seungmin is an asshole.
you don't like him. he's always around, nagging you, throwing unnecessary comments your way about every little thing you do or say. if it were solely up to you, you wouldn't talk to him ever again. but he's jeongin's best friend, who also happens to be your best friend, so seeing him is inevitable.
he's there sipping on his iced americano, wispy bangs falling in front of his brown eyes, fixated on you. he's there sitting across of you in the campus garden, hitting your leg repeatedly with his foot. he's there at jeongin's dorm, who also happens to be his roommate, strolling around shirtless with no care in the world.
he's infuriating, everything about him makes you mad. from the way he smiles proudly when he sees that he's getting on your nerves, to the way he leans his face onto yours, faking interest in whatever you are saying.
seungmin is an asshole, and to your surprise, he's here to pick you up.
you know it's him, from the red converse he is wearing, and his familiar black leather jacket. you can also tell from the hands gripping the handles of the motorcycle. they aren't clad with rings, so it can't be jeongin. the friend who was actually supposed to pick you up.
you half debate staying home, cursing jeongin in your brain for forcing you to spend more time with seungmin. but you really wanted to go to that party chan is hosting. you needed the free alcohol, badly.
so you huff, as seungmin takes his sweet time parking, mentally preparing to curse him too. but the words die in your throat as soon as he removes his helmet.
he has caramel colored hair now.
he slides off the motorcycle, running an easy hand through his hair. it looks soft, and you wonder what it smells like. citrus, maybe, or pinewood. he then leans onto his engine, smirking at you slightly. you roll your eyes, taking one step forward towards him.
"i think you're obsessed with me."
"yeah? why is that?" he smiles, tilting his head to the side, his arms now crossed in front of his chest.
"you just had to pick me up right. couldn't stand being away from me that badly?"
"correct." he doesn't deny and you huff, grabbing the second helmet and putting it on.
"let's make this as short as possible."
"my pleasure," he bows slightly and you bite your lip, trying to suppress the tiniest smile from coming out. you really liked his hair, it made his honeyed eyes stand out more.
he gets on first, and you follow suit. you were used to riding with jeongin but this is your first time doing it with seungmin. you hesitate for a couple of seconds, before wrapping your arms loosely around his waist.
"hold tight," he tells you, adding a soft "please" after a few silent beats. you oblige, and then he takes off with no further warning.
the drive is short, and you can't seem to focus on anything but the warmth emanating from seungmin's body. you are hyper aware of your thighs pressing against his, and his broad back snug against your chest. it feels intimate, for some odd reason, and you almost close your eyes to fully savor it. almost.
when you arrive, you're quick to hop off, handing your helmet to seungmin. he takes it from you silently, before removing his own too.
strands of his hair stay upwards and you debate internally for a second, before reaching to smooth them down.
you were right, his hair is incredibly soft to the touch.
"you look pretty," he says. and he sounds sincere- different from how he usually speaks to you.
"thank you," you reply quietly, " i like your new hair."
"really? I'm not sure if it suits me," he admits, running a hand through it self-consciously. it felt weird, to see him anything but confident and boastful.
"it does. what shampoo do you use?"
"i don't know. something citrusy, i think."
"figured."
....
your naked chest is pressed to seungmin's, limbs so tangled you can no longer tell where your body ends and his begins.
you didn't exactly plan on ending up here tonight, you weren't even sure how this happened. you just couldn't take your eyes off seungmin's hair, and then his eyes landed on your lips and suddenly he was leading you to the nearest bedroom.
but you don't mind, not when seungmin looks this way. the light is dim and dark shadows reflect on his face. there is a sheen layer of perspiration on his upperbrow, and you imagine you must look the same. sweaty and slightly dazed, a pink hue adorning your cheeks.
seungmin traces your lips with his thumb, going over your cupid bow ever so slowly. it makes shivers run down your spine, and you huddle closer to him. as close as you physically could anyways, since you were practically glued to him.
"had i known this would happen i would've died my hair sooner," he smirks cheekily and that brings you to his hair again. you run your hand through its soft locks gently. a stark contrast to how hard you were tugging them moments ago.
"mm, it's all because of this caramel color," you smile back, its citrusy scent wafting to your nose. "i really like your shampoo."
"are you turned on by scents?" he jokes and you swat his arm, leaning a bit away from him.
"it just smells nice. sue me."
"it's okay, you smell nice too," he chuckles, burying his nose in the crook of your neck. you appreciate it. it makes you feel less weird about how affected you are by him.
"i... i told jeongin that i wanted to pick you up," he mumbles onto your skin and you feel yourself tense slightly. "why?"
"wanted to see you first," he says quietly, pressing a soft kiss to your collarbone. it makes you dizzy. you don't find him infuriating any more.
"let's talk about this later," you finally reply, pulling him away from you.
"mm. what do you want to do now?" he smiles, grazing your naked arm with the back of his hand.
you straddle his lap, swiping his bangs away from his forehead. that damned hair of his.
"you."
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rosepascal · 6 months
Text
someday || Joel Miller x Reader
summary: You're sick and tired of being strong in this world.
warnings: angst/fluff, hurt comfort, tlou stuff so blood, killing, etc. The reader has some self deprecating thoughts.
a/n: I am once again using Joel as therapy. I could not survive the tlou world. As much as i would want to be a badass I would probably just cry a lot aksdfjl.
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“Hurry up!” Joel snapped as you took cover among the bushes.
You wince as your knees scrape against the ground, blood trickling down your leg. Joel harshly grabs your arm as you hear loud footsteps approaching you.
“Where the fuck did they go!” You hear a man say.
His heavy boots snapping twigs as he walks. Joel would say he’s an idiot. One of the typical egotistical raiders who think their brute strength could solve anything. Joel’s grip gets harsher as they get closer. His other hand fiddles with his gun.
A heavy pit forms in your stomach. That same sickly horrible feeling that you always get when your life is in danger. Which happens often in this world.
You hate it. Hate what the world has become. Hate what you’ve become to survive. Shutting off all emotions so you can live. Killing people who are just trying to survive, just like you.
Joel springs into action, pulling out his rifle and shooting one of your attackers square in the face. Too wrapped up in your own head you don’t notice one of them fire at you.
“Shit!” You hiss as Joel tackles you to the ground.
The bullet whizzing past you. You start to apologize but Joel doesn’t care. He gets up and fires a few shots, letting you scramble to your feet and pull out your gun.
These guys are easy to take care of. They don’t bother trying to hide which makes them easy targets. Your brain shuts off as you put yet another bullet into someone, taking their life. Leaving them dead on the forest floor.
Once they’re all dead you just stand there. Reciting the same bullshit you tell yourself. You had to do this. It’s you or them. This is how things are now.
“Let’s go.” Joel says gruffly.
Not even bother to check on you before walking back towards Jackson. It makes your blood boil. Anger bubbling out of you with every step. You’re sick of it. Sick of living in this world. Sick of being strong and brave. Ellie calls you a badass but fuck what you wouldn’t give to go back to your life before the outbreak.
You’ve never said a word to Joel or Ellie about it. Joel, well he’s Joel. He’s the brooding tough guy. The provider. The keeps to himself kind of guy. As stereotypical as it sounds, he’s kept you alive so you owe him. He taught you how to shoot after finding you all on your own. Trying to make it to the QZ.
You know he’s lost a lot too. Everyone has, so what makes you so special? Why should you get to feel the way you do when it’s not nearly as bad as what some people have been through? The walk is silent as you approach the gates of the town. At least you have a bed now, a house with running water and food.
“Want to tell me what happened out there?” Joel asks as you get closer to the town. You clench your jaw and stay quiet. He’s not happy, he’s pissed. You fucked up. You don’t need him to tell you that.
“Hey, I’m talking to you.” He puts a hand on your shoulder and you rip it off you.
“I fucked up alright? I’m sorry.” You stomp ahead of him, not wanting a fucking Joel lecture right now.
“You’re sorry? You could have gotten killed.” Joel won’t let it go, he never lets it go.
“Just fuck off! Okay I get it. I don’t need you to tell me that. Sorry we can’t all be like you.” You storm through the gates, ignoring the looks from the townspeople.
“The hell does that mean?” He grabs your shoulders and forces you to face him. His face turned into a scowl, like he’s trying to puff himself up to make him bigger, scarier. Well fuck him.
“I can’t do this anymore. I can’t fucking live like this. Killing people without even blinking, pretending it doesn’t get to me. I’m…I’m over it.” You shove his hands off you and storm into town.
“Hey!” Joel tries to come after you but you weave your way through the crowd of people.
Until his voice is drowned out and he can’t see you anymore. You don’t know how long you’ve been away. You just kept walking and walking until you found a seemingly abandoned house. You climb onto the roof and just, sit. Feelings of shame come over you as you think back to your argument.
On one hand it’s embarrassing to admit that you aren’t cut out for this world, maybe Joel agrees. Maybe he thinks he should have left you for dead. You promised him you’d be strong. That you could handle this. You were wrong.
But, a part of you is proud. Proud that you’ve finally gotten it off your chest. Keeping it buried for so long only made it worse.
“Hey.” You hand grabs your knife as you spin around and hold it up.
“Dammit Joel,” You mutter as you lower your hand. He comes and sits next to you. Grunting as he tries to get comfortable. He doesn’t talk. He tries, but he doesn’t know how to.
“I uh, I talked to Maria. Said she could take you off patrol for as long as you need.” You sigh and lean against the house.
“It’s not about patrol Joel. It’s…” You look down at your hands, playing with the knife as you gather your thoughts.
“I’m tired.”
“Well I’m sure its alright if you sleep in tomorrow.”
“No Joel, I mean I’m tired of everything. I’m sick of being strong. I’m not a strong person. I tried for so long, but I just want to be happy again.” Tears silently stream down your cheeks as you reveal your deepest kept secret to Joel.
"Do you ever think about what life would be like if this never happened? I think about it a lot." You admit.
“I know I promised you I’d be strong but…I can’t do it anymore. I know it’s selfish but..” You missed the world before all of this.
You don’t want to fight for every meal or kill people anymore. You want to wake up in a warm bed and have breakfast with your family. You wish your biggest problem was how boring your job was.
“It’s not selfish.” Joel says.
“I think about that too. I miss life before this. I miss a lot about it.” You lean against this shoulder. The two of you thinking of life before this, what life would have been if this never happened.
“You said you weren’t strong, but I disagree.” You look at Joel, waiting for him to continue.
“I think you’re plenty strong. It’s not weak to want your old life back. It’s not weak to feel the way you do about everything. Everyday you prove how strong you are just by being here.” Joel doesn’t sugarcoat anything. He doesn’t believe in sparing feelings so you know that he’s not lying. Maybe he’s not just talking to you either.
“Thank you Joel.” He wraps his arm around you, pulling you closer to him.
His lips gently press against your forehead. Maybe someday you’ll go back to the life you remember. It won’t be the same and that’s okay.
As long as you keep going, one day at a time. 
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gojos-thot-patrol · 6 months
Text
I've been waiting for this one
Now Loading, Kinktober Week Three...
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Synopsis: Satoru wasn't dumb. He saw the way you looked at his best friend. He picked up on the way you were always sure to laugh at his jokes, heard the name "Suguru" catch in your throat when it should have been "Satoru." And he saw the way Suguru coveted you, not even bothering to hide it. But, that was fine. Because Satoru thought of it too. Kinks: Cuckholding, Cum Play, Over stimulation,Double Penetration, and Dumbification
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“There is no way I heard you correctly.” Suguru scoffed at Gojo’s suggestion.
“I think you did.�� Gojo smirked as he looked at his best friend- confused and embarrassed, the tips of his ears turning bright red. He wondered if Geto blushed like that when he came.
“No, I don’t think I did.” Suguru doubled down, “I highly doubt you just asked me if I wanted to fuck your girlfriend.”
“So you did hear me.” Gojo smiled. Satoru wasn’t dumb. He saw the way you looked at Suguru, just like how he saw the way Suguru looked at you. He noticed how you laughed too hard at his jokes, and how Suguru always found convenient excuses to touch you. All of his suspicions were proven correct last night, when the wrong name slipped out of your mouth when he was in between your legs.
But, that was fine. Satoru would be lying if he said he didn’t think about it too.
He thought about it constantly.
“No, dude, I’m not going to do that.” Suguru scoffed, albeit reluctantly. His reluctance honestly surprised Gojo, he thought the man would jump at the opportunity to be in the sheets with you.
“What, why not?” Gojo demanded.
“Because,” Suguru sighed, trying to reregulate his heartbeat, “What if it makes things weird between us? What if you get jealous?” Aww, he was so cute!
“I promise Suguru, if anything, it’ll only make us closer.” Gojo winked.
“I don’t know.” Geto shook his head. He had thought about it, sure. Suguru fantasized about you almost every night since Gojo had started bringing you around. He thought about what you would taste like on his tongue and how you would feel on his cock. He imagined the sounds you would make and the way your face would scrunch. He fantasized about bending you over Gojos counter and showing you that you chose the wrong man more times than he could count. But, fantasizing about something and acting on it were two totally different things. 
“Well then, maybe this will convince you-” Gojo grinned as he pulled his phone from his pocket.
“Satoru-” Suguru warned.
“Chill man, she said I could show you.” Gojo assured his friend as he opened his camera roll, “We filmed it just for you anyway.” He handed the phone to Sugruu, letting him press play on his own. 
Suguru sucked a sharp breath in through his teeth as he watched the video. You looked up at the camera with tears in your eyelashes, sucking on his best friend's cock like your life depended on it. Suguru couldn’t help but imagine how you would feel around his own dick. Would you be able to take him all in? How much teeth would you use? Would you moan like a whore for him the way you did for your boyfriend? Fuck. 
“Okay, I’m sold.” Turns out Suguru wasn’t as attached to his morals as he thought he was, “When do we want to do this?”
“How does Halloween sound?” Satoru grinned
🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘
You sat curled into your boyfriend's side watching Scream and trying to calm your nerves. You knew what was supposed to happen tonight, and honestly you couldn’t think of a better way to spend your Halloween evening. But you were still nervous, unsure how to bridge the gap. 
“Does it ever piss anyone else off how useless the parents are in this movie?” Gojo asked, “Like, “Oh, there's a serial killer going around specifically targeting kids from your school? Of course you can go to that giant party! That won’t be an easy target for the killer, it’s perfect.”” He mocked.
“Oh, I always just assumed they hated their kids.” Suguru shrugged, making you laugh. He smiled, your reaction only egging him on, “I mean, I would. There’s not a single person here that’s not insufferable, minus Syd.”
“Hey, Stu’s not that bad!” You giggled in defense of your favorite slasher.
“Yeah, Stu’s great! Ya know, as long as he’s not literally disemboweling you.” Suguru teased you with a laugh.
“I like Billy.” Gojo shrugged.
“You want to fuck Billy.” Suguru corrected.
“Who doesn’t want to fuck Billy?”
“Syd, apparently.”
“Eh, she comes around eventually.” Gojo said, waving his hand in the air. You laughed as you stood up.
“I’m going to grab a beer,” You announced, “I’ll be right back.” The boys both booed at your words.
“Have you learned nothing?!” Gojo scoffed.
“You’re gonna get stabbed now, look what you’ve done!” Suguru sighed. You rolled your eyes and chuckled.
“See, that logic only works if I’m not the killer.” You winked as you went to the kitchen. You grabbed your beer from the fridge and immediately opened it, drinking half right there. You cringed at the taste. Fucking IPAs. They all looked pretty and fun, and yet they all tasted like fucking boot sweat. You returned to the couch, and almost sat back down next to Satoru.
Until you remembered the point of the night. You put your drink on the coffee table, and sat down not just next to Suguru, but right in his lap. His eyes widened a bit in shock, but it was quickly replaced with a smug confidence as he wrapped his arms around you.
“Welcome back.” He smirked, pressing you into his chest. You looked over to Satoru, feeling his eyes burn into you. His expression would be unreadable, if not for the way he bit his lower lip. You winked back at him, before nuzzling into the crook of Sugurus neck. 
🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘
How did you get here again? You tried to walk back in time. You remembered sitting on Sugurus lap, playing with his hair while he gripped your ass. You remember him trying to sneak a kiss on your neck, trying to hide the affection from your boyfriend. You remembered Satrou saw it anyway.
And somehow that led you here, naked and moaning helplessly as Sugurus tongue continued its assault on your clit, two of his fingers bullying your pussy as your boyfriend watched on with ravenous eyes. You groaned as Suguru curled his fingers into your g-spot again, building up the pressure in your stomach to an almost unbearable amount. You curled your fingers into his hair as you bucked your hips into him, greedy and desperate for your release. 
“Suguru…” You whine, and you hear the unmistakable sound of your boyfriend’s moan from the chair opposite the bed. You almost felt bad, forcing him to watch you be with another man. You almost felt wrong, being touched like this by his best friend, and enjoying it maybe just a little too much-
He curled his fingers into your soft spot again, that coupled with the sharp sucking on your clit, suddenly you weren't worried about ethics. Suddenly you were more focused on the wall of bliss that hit you as your climax overtook you, hitting you like a train and leaving your thighs trembling around Sugurus head as you desperately called out his name. 
He pulled back, wiping your slick off his face with a soft, satisfied smile. “You were right Satoru, she does taste like candy.” He chuckled darkly.
“I know.” Satoru rasped out, more affected by this than he expected to be. Torn between his need to push Suguru away from you and remind you who your boyfriend was- and his desperate desire to see how well you took his most trusted confidant's cock. You almost moaned, again as you took in Sugurus form, shirt long since discarded and hair an absolute mess. It was a vision that should be hanging in a fucking museum, and left you craving more of him.
“Yeah, did you know she was this much of a slut too?” He asked as he leaned over you, burying his face into the crook of your neck and leaving another trail of marks there.
“Had a hunch.” Satoru moaned, biting his lip so hard he tasted blood. Did he say Suguru could mark you? He didn’t think he did. 
“Suguru…” You moaned softly as you felt his teeth dig into the soft flesh of your neck.
“You sound so pretty when you say my name Doll,” He chuckled, lifting off of you and gesturing to his belt. You didn’t need to be told twice. Your hands moved faster than you thought possible as you worked to undo his pants. You felt almost pathetic with how needy you were. You hadn’t wanted cock this bad since…well.
Since the first time you were with Gojo.
“Aww, she's so eager to please,” Suguru cooed, fondly petting the back of your head as you freed him from his jeans, “Are you the one that trained her to be this cock hungry Satoru, or did she come like that?”
“Nope.” Satoru swallowed dryly, “That’s all me.” His cock was unfairly hard, and straining uncomfortably against his own jeans. He grinded his hand down on his tent, trying to relieve some tension. Suguru looked over at him and laughed. 
“Look at your boyfriend darling,” He hummed, taking your jaw and turning your head right as you got to his boxers, “He’s more fucked out than you and he hasn’t even touched himself yet.” 
“Satoru…” You mumbled softly. Gojo felt his chest tighten and his dick twitch. Fuck. 
“Feel good Baby girl?” He asked. You knew a loaded question when you heard one. And luckily, Suguru did too. He finished taking his pants off and pulled you into a heated kiss. Needy lustful, and far too passionate for what was essentially a glorified one night stand. Somewhere in the intoxicating sensation of his tongue dancing with yours, you started to get the idea that he was catching feelings too.
He abruptly pushed you back on the bed, angling your hips to line up with his. He grinned. “Such a pretty pussy, fitting for such a pretty girl,” He praised, “Gonna make you cum harder than your boyfriend ever could.”
“Good fucking luck,” Satoru hissed, almost subconsciously undoing his jeans, “That’s my girl Suguru. No one makes her feel as good as I do.”
“Is that so?” Suguru scoffed, running the thick tip of his cock against your slit and gathering the slick there, “Wanna bet?”
“Bet what?” Satoru’s eyes didn’t leave Suguru’s dick, his shoulders tensing with anticipation and annoyance as he waited for him to enter you. For his best friend to desecrate the temple that previously belonged only to him. 
“Your girl.” Suguru smirked as he pushed into you, watching the way your body seized as you took in a sharp breath. You called out his name, gripping down on him and sending a shiver rolling down his spine. Fuck fuck. He was never going to be able to go back to his hand after this. “If I win, we make this a regular thing.” he managed to force out.
“And if I win?” Satoru asked, finally giving into himself and releasing his dick. 
“Well if you win I won’t steal your girlfriend.” Suguru laughed as he set his pace. Gojo felt rage explode in his chest at the thought that Suguru could steal you from him, and an indescribable excitement that he even wanted to. He moaned softly as he started to work himself in his hand in time to Sugurus thrusts into you. 
“Bet. You heard the man Baby Girl, that means you can’t cum.” Gojo laughed humorlessly.
“N-no fair!” You gasped out as Suguru pushed straight into your g-spot. It was like he instinctively knew your body and how to make it melt for him. Like he was born to fuck you into oblivion. 
“Don’t listen to him Sweetheart.” Suguru groaned as your plush walls pulled him in, “You can cum as many times as you want for me.” He assured you, moving his hand to rub expert circles into your sensitive clit. You whined pathetically as the pleasure started to build in your stomach. Already your body buzzed with need, your previous orgasm making your body overly reactive to him. You clawed at the sheets to try and ground yourself.
“Fuck, Suguru, so good..” You huffed, before biting your lip to try and distract yourself from the bliss that was filling you. Gojo whined from his spot away from the bed, wanting nothing more than to be the one making those pretty sounds come from your mouth.
“Fuck Satoru.” Suguru groaned to try and distract himself- he didn’t want to cum yet either, “This pussy is divine. You get this every night? You’re a lucky man.” He laughed. Gojo felt a sick sense of pride swell in his chest. He knew your pussy felt divine, he was the one who chrisented it. He knew how lucky he was that it was his. He wondered if Suguru knew how lucky he was to get to feel it for even a night.
He wanted nothing more than to push Suguru away from you. To fold you in half and remind you who your fucking boyfriend was. To cover all of those awful marks that weren’t his. He couldn’t bring himself to move though. Because as much as he hated the scene before him, he couldn’t deny it was the hottest fucking thing he had ever seen in his life. Watching his best friend fuck his girlfriend stupid was better than opium. 
“I-I’m so close please-” You gasped as you felt your cunt clench around Suguru, and his groan filled your ears. You felt like you were on fire with desire, your body trembling as you tried to hold back the tsunami of euphoria building up inside you. 
“Hold it.” Gojo growled, frustration growing with his hands inability to replicate how you felt.
“Ignore him Sweetheart,” Suguru cooed in your ear, trailing soft kisses down your jaw, “Cum all over me, show me how much you like my cock.” You tried, you tried so hard to listen to your boyfriend. But he just felt so fucking good. Every buck of his hips hit your sweet spot, every swipe of his finger sent electric waves through you. There was heroine in his touch and euphoria in his words. You couldn’t hold back.
You came hard around him, your cunt clenching him and pulling him in deeper. Ecstasy crashed down on you with a vengeance, rocking your body and leaving you trembling. Your body was already sensitive from your first climax, and this one felt 5 times as strong. Suguru gave Gojo a wicked grin as you creamed on him. He didn’t have to say it for them to both know what he was thinking.
Your girl, huh?
“And that makes two for me.” He laughed as he continued to buck into you. Gojo growled at his friend's cocky attitude. His hand wasn’t getting him anything other than frustration. He had to make a move.
“Does that feel good Baby Girl?” Gojo cooed to you. You nodded, struggling to catch your breath. Suguru just wouldn’t let up, and you were already trembling. “Use your words.”
“So good.” You whined. 
“Tell him what you want, Baby.” Gojo commanded. He knew if he wanted his turn, Suguru needed to nut. 
“I want you to fill me up,” You muttered, making eye contact with Suguru. You had been with Gojo long enough to know that ‘tell me what you want’ ment ‘bed for my load’ and you were more than happy to beg for Suguru. “I want you to cum inside me, please Sugu, you feel ‘s good, wanna make you feel good.” you slurred. And while your words made Gojo see red, he saw the way Suguru’s hips stuttered in their movement, saw the way his forearms flexed as he tightened his grip on you- trying to ground himself.
Suddenly, Gojo was out of his chair and behind Suguru. “She feels good doesn’t she?” He rasped into Sugurus neck, his hand tracing up from the brunette's happy trail and up his chest. 
“So fucking good.” Suguru groaned. He knew he should pull out. He knew he should switch positions, do something- anything- to keep from blowing his load just yet.
But fuck he was so close. 
“She takes cock good too.” Satoru chuckled, taking Sugurus' chin and pulling his head down. His eyes fell to where the two of you were connected. Where you were covering him with your thick slick, watching a white ring form in his pubes. “She wants your cum inside her Sug,” Gojo hummed, “Give her what she wants.” He punctuated his words with a sharp tug of Sugurus' long hair.  
Suguru fell apart. His normally steady rhythm became erratic as he came deep inside of you, shooting thick white ropes into your cervix. You screamed his name embarrassingly loud, his harsh thrusts coupled with the warm feeling inside of your overly sensitive body resulting in your third climax. You fluttered around him and milked Suguru’s cock for all it was worth, leaving you both exhausted after. 
Suguru glared at Gojo. That was a dirty cheater move from a spoiled brat. “That makes three for me.” He groaned as he pulled out. Gojo reached around Suguru, taking two fingers and gathering the cum leaking from your weeping hole. He brought it up to his lips, making a show of sucking his fingers clean of Sugurus seed.
He grinned as he pulled his fingers out with a pop. “That makes it my turn.”  he winked to hide how frantic he was. Seeing Suguru get lost in the pleasure of your cunt was by far the sexiest thing Gojo had ever seen, and more than anything he wanted to cum where Suguru did. Partly to claim you as his own again. But, mostly to fuck his best friends load deeper into you, to use it as lube as he brought you to yet another high.
Fuck, maybe he could share. 
Suguru moved out of the way, but didn’t go sit on the cuck chair. Instead he positioned himself behind you, resting your head in his lap. Gojo took his previous place, and wasted no time in shoving his cock in you up to his base. You yelped in shock as he did. Suguru may have been thicker than Gojo, but Satoru still had length on him. And the sudden attack on your cervix jolted you back to life.
“Suguru!” You yelped, head still spinning in bliss.
“Wrong.” Gojo snapped, with two hard- almost painful- thrusts of his hips, “”Try again Baby Girl.”
“Satoru…” You whimpered out as you realized your mistake. 
“Don’t worry Sweetheart, I’m still here.” Suguru purred from behind you, bending down to kiss your lips. You moaned softly, before pulling away with a yelp as Satoru set a punishing pace.
“He might be here, but I’m the only one that matters.” He growled as he ruthlessly hyper focused your bullied g-spot. You whined as your body reacted to him, an intense stabbing pleasure coursing through you as a fog of lust further clouded your brain.
 The relief that flooded Gojo as he finally entered you was unlike anything he had ever felt before. He had never been so needy before in his life, had never been forced to wait for anything. Finally sliding into your cum filled cunt was the closest Satoru Gojo was ever going to get to heaven. He growled as he chased his high inside of you, watching the way your eyes glazed over as your breath caught in your throat.
“You still with me Baby?” He asked with a soft laugh.
“”S so so good..” You slurred, feeling the buzzing bliss build up inside you and knowing you weren’t far away from orgasm number four. 
“Awe, how cute.” Suguru laughed as his hand found your chest and started to play with your nipples, “Our sluts real pretty when she’s cock drunk Satoru.”
 “Ain’t she?” Satoru grinned, completely missing the use of “Our” as opposed to “Your” but not missing the slick smirk on Sugurus face. He moved to throw your legs over his shoulders folding you and half and fucking you deeper than before. He grinned, now inches away from Suguru.
“What are you smirking at?”
“I’m smirking at how desperate you both are.” Suguru grinned. Satoru growled, realizing he was closer than he thought he was. His hand fell down to your overly sensitive clit fumbling to massage it, only for Suguru to brush his hand away. He started to rub you there instead.
“Here, let me help. Since you’re at such a disadvantage anyway.” Suguru smiled like he was helping to take in groceries and not finger fuck his best friends girl. 
“How generous of you.” Gojo scoffed.
“No problem Pretty Boy.” Gojo could feel his face catch fire at the pet name, and felt his hips stutter. 
“Shut up.” He grumbled at Suguru, looking down to hide how flustered he got and to try and focus on how warm and soft you felt.
“Make me.” Suguru laughed, using his free hand to pull Gojo up by the hair and force him to look at him. Satoru felt his heart skip a beat.
“You think I won’t?” Satoru chuckled to try and regain some confidence, “You think I won’t fuck you as soon as I’m done with he-” He was cut off by Suguru pulling him into a harsh kiss, all tounges and teeth and desperation. Satoru could taste you on Sugurus tongue, and he came harder than he had ever come in his life. Pleasure attacking his body with hard and fast waves as he desperately tried to fuck you through his high.
Suguru pulled back with a giant, wicked smirk. He watched as Gojos head fell next to yours as he tried to catch his breath. “Oh, did you cum already, Pretty Boy?” He tisked, “Guess that’s zero for you and three for me.” 
Gojo glared up at him through his eye lashes. “Oh, I’m not out yet.” He grumbled as he pulled out. He fell between your legs, and licked his lips at what he found. Your pretty pussy clenching around nothing, your natural lube mixing with his and sugurus loads and drizzling out of you. He wished he had his phone on him, a picture this pretty should be his lock screen. He licked it all up, taking the concoction onto his tongue and tasting how well the three of you mixed. 
“Oh, you really are a freak.” Suguru teased.
“You say while in bed with me.” Gojo scoffed before going back to his meal, eating you out like it was the last thing he’d ever do. You tasted immaculate on your own, but the taste of him, the taste of Suguru mixing with your own sweetness was a new type of drug. You whined in oversensitive pleasure as you dug your nails into his snow white hair.
“Here, let me help,” Suguru hummed, reaching a hand down and massaging your clit. “Our girl deserves it.” The added stimulation was so fucking much. Your body was still trembling and hyper aware. You had never cum more than three times in a night, and your body wasn’t ready for the fourth- despite desperately wanting it. You whined a name (maybe Gojos?) As pleasure filled your brain and replaced any coherent thought you could have had. 
Suguru looked down at you and felt his cock get harder at the scene. Your eyes were glazed over with intense lust and need, mouth hanging open as drool began to dribble down your chin. Your hair was fucked and your breathing ragged, and the thin sheen of sweat made you seem to glow. He leaned down and kissed you again, capturing your lips with a desperate need and what he hoped you knew was adoration.
You came harder than you had ever cum in your life. It was almost painful- the electrical fire of pleasure that burned through your body, incinerating whatever common sense you had left and leaving nothing but a needy whore in its wake. You grinded against Gojos face, hips thrusting frantically despite the pain. Suguru pulled away, you screamed as Satoru worked you through your high, your body unsure how to handle all the stimulation.
Gojo pulled away-collecting his and Sugurus cum on his tongue- only to pull up and kiss you. He filled your mouth with the flavors of the three of you, and you kissed him back greedily. Satoru pulled back, licking at the line of drool that connected you two. He sat up.
“You still with us, Pretty Girl?” He asked, and you whined out softly.
“I don’t know Satoru, I think she’s reaching her limit.” Suguru said, lovingly brushing your hair out of your face. The care in his eyes as he looked at you set something on fire inside of Gojo, though he didn’t know what. 
“I think she can take one more.” He said, pulling you from his friends arms and into his own. Suguru almost punched him, having you taken from his arms activating a protective part of his brain he didn’t even know he had. He had to remind himself that you were Gojo’s girl too before he did something violent.
Gojo laid down next to Suguru, giving him a wink as he guided you down onto his hardened cock. Suguru watched the way your back arched as you were filled once again. The ragged moan you let out was music to his ears as Gojo started to thrust into you from under you. Without even realizing it, Geto’s fingers found your free hole, slowly working you open while the pleasure from Gojos cock distracted you from any pain you may have felt.
He couldn’t let Satoru have you alone. Gojo noticed and raised an eyebrow at him, then grinned. “If you thought her cunt was nice, wait until you feel her ass.” He laughed. You didn’t even process Gojos words, definitely not fast enough to take them as the warning that they were. All you knew, was suddenly your ass was on fire and you felt more full than you had ever been in your life.
“Motherfucker!” You shouted out, using the last of your brain function to push back onto him.
“Oh, so she can still speak.” Gojo teased. Suguru growled as he pounded into your tight little ass in time with Gojos thrusts. You shook your head. 
“Too much, ‘s much-” You slurred. 
“You can handle it Princess,” Suguru groaned into your ear. He used one hand to brace himself against your hip, and his other to play with your clit. You whined and it really was all too much. The way Satoru’s long cock perfectly graced your g-spot, how Sugurus expert fingers massaged your nub, how full both of the men made you feel. You felt so far out of your body and so overwhelmed by them all at once.
 All of it combined together into a crescendo, a tidal wave of ecstasy and euphoria crashing into you and sending you astral projecting into the ninth dimension. Your didn’t realize how fucking good it felt to be treated like a toy, to be fucked with reckless abandon and to your absolute limit. Your mind went blank as stars exploded in front of your eyes, and you were forced to endure them as they fucked you through your so-good-it-hurt orgasm. 
Satoru was next to lose it. The view of your tits bouncing as you fucked yourself on them- cumming on not just his cock, but on Sugurus at the same time. He came hard inside of you, filling your already filled pussy to the brim and watching as it all leaked out of you.
Suguru wasn't far behind, your tight warm walls pulling it out of him with efficiency. He didn’t bother to pull out either, not until he had fully unloaded into you. Not until he was forced to. He pulled out as you collapsed onto Satoru. Gojo slipped out as he rolled you onto your side next to him, and smiled as Suguru crumbled onto your opposite side.
“You did so good Sweetheart,” Suguru cooed as he kissed the back of your head, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close.
“You were such a good girl for us.” Satoru confirmed as he kissed your forehead, and draped one of his arms around you. The two men cuddled you close, sandwiching you in between them. 
“So this means I win, right?’ Suguru smirked, “Four to one?”
“What? Where did you get four?! Were three to two.” Gojo corrected. His friend just shrugged.
“All I’m hearing is that I win anyway.” 
“Why do you wanna win so bad anyway?’ Gojo pouted, “What, You like playing with my toys that much?”
“Yep.” Suguru wasn’t in the business of mincing words, “Hey man, this was all your idea to begin with. Why stop at one threesome?” Gojo hated to admit it, but he has a point.
“Because I’m sure my girl isn’t interested in a polycule.” he grumbled. He wasn’t sure about that. He wasn’t even sure he wasn’t interested.
“Did you ask her?” Suguru teased, “What do you think, Baby Girl? Want me in your bed again?”
“I think I’m very tired.” You muttered, feeling your eyes get heavy as the warmth of the boys comforted you. They both looked at each other, a little embarrassed to have glossed over the very obvious fact that you weren’t really able to have this conversation right now.
“Right, sorry Baby Girl.” Gojo muttered.
“Get some sleep, Beautiful.” Suguru sighed as he kissed your head again, “Happy Halloween Baby.”
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・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・ Taglist ・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・
thank you lovlies, for supporting my work! @sk8ttles, @blkkizzat,@littyasatittyyy,@ketchupsush1 @my-names-angel-but-im-not-one, @ryomens-vixen, @yihona-san06 and @risuola
If you wanna get on the tag list, comment: here!
And if you wanna read week One, you can find it: Here!
And Week Two: Here!
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arthursfuckinghat · 1 month
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I know it's quite the topic of debate, but I thought I'd share my thoughts on Strauss getting kicked out of camp anyways.
Just to be clear, Strauss having a place in the gang proves that Dutch doesn't follow his own code unless it benefits him in some way. It's true that Strauss brings in money, but the fact that Dutch said himself that robbing banks is more dignified than usury - loaning money with insane interest to the poor - says an awful lot. He knows exactly what Strauss does to lure in the poor to take up his offers and still allows him to do it.
In a way, Strauss and Dutch are similar in how they lure in the poor and destitute to work for them. That's likely why Dutch has no strong feelings towards Strauss and his work, because they aren't too different from one another.
Common criticisms I see for Arthur kicking out Strauss is how unfair it is since "Strauss is as bad as the rest of the gang". While I would usually agree to an extent, but Strauss is a unique case.
Robbing banks, rich folk in trains, shops and killing lawmen are still big crimes that cannot be downplayed, but compared to deliberately prying on the poor - and offering them loans they will never be able to pay off - is sick work on its own. Especially when Strauss is so nonchalant about it, calling it simply "legal work" with physical abuse involved.
Strauss stayed in the gang because they protected him and he was able to use Arthur as means for guaranteeing payment. It's worth noting how much Arthur despised the work too, he loathed it entirely and his resentment for Strauss built up until he finally took action.
To highlight, majority of Strauss' "clients" were working themselves (and their families) to death even if they were already sick themselves. Families with children, the elderly, the ill, destitute, starving and working themselves ragged to pay off an impossible debt.
And Strauss knows this, that's why he still did it because he knew these poor families had no choice.
Compare that to robbing a train full of rich folk.
Almost laughable, right? The rich can afford to replace their stolen goods, Leviticus Cornwall can afford another train, the city can afford to reimburse the banks. The rich, however, cared very little for the poor. These destitute families had nobody to help them and these loans seemed like answered prayers until they needed to be paid off.
And they were beaten for not being able to pay.
The gang never targeted the poor for just monetary gain, apart from Strauss.
Strauss is a vulture, going for the easy pickings in his work. I believe he deserved to be kicked out and I agree with Arthur that it was long overdue.
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goldsbitch · 4 months
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That one call overseas
part 7 to That one Christmas flight
summary: Now that we don't talk.
warning: pure angst this time, cheesy af, swear words I guess, cliche probably, typos most definitely
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The hole Y/N dug for herself was getting deeper with each day of no contact with Lando. Gone was her ability to contain her emotions within herself. Her friends were getting concerned. Their ever so calm and easy going friend turned into an impulsive, unreliable and even slightly rude menace.
Teresa was the one who kept patience with her in the worst days, as only the best of friends do. When Y/N got kicked out of a bar for the first time in her life for her comments in lousy bad Italian on a random couple in the late hours of their Friday night, Teresa walked her home and screamed Hits Different with her at the top of their lungs to ease the atmosphere. And once they were home, she listened to Y/N rant about how she would never ever call the asshole who does not even bother to text her again. Teresa also stopped her from throwing his hoodie away, knowing that the following morning would hurt just a little more.
When Y/N woke up the following noon, she took a hard look in the mirror. This was getting ridiculous. She swore to herself and all of her roommates that no more alcohol and no more Lando desperation. It's a crush - it'll pass. One day this will be a nice story to tell the kids she'll have with some Antonio, the accountant or Ignacio, the lawyer. Not Lando, the racer - and that was ok.
//
Lando was off to Montreal and things could not be more busy for him. New updates to test, again, as his frustration grew. He only wished to be finally at the top podium, which seemed to always slip in between his hands. His mind, of course, was clouded by the thoughts of Y/N. At first he thought ashamed of himself for not reaching out and appearing like an asshole - but he somewhat expected her to break the silence. He started to second guess every aspect of the time they shared together. Perhaps she did not have as great time as he had, perhaps he acted like an asshole, or perhaps he just was not good enough for those who were not under the F1 charm spell. Not good enough for her. He finally resorted into doing something he tries to avoid as much as possible - looked at the fan pages and comments to boost his ego up. It only led to him feeling more shameful and pathetic than when he started. He kept her necklace and brought it with him. For all it was worth, he had an amazing memory to look back at, no matter how delusional he felt doing that.
The paddock was a great place to be at when searching for a distraction, so he made sure to spend as little time as possible alone and surrounded himself with people. He even walked to the stands often than he usually would, searching fans and giving photos out, smiling a little to extra on all the girls who looked remotely close to Y/N. Who knows, he might pick up someone like that at the end of Montreal ride. Why not. Nobody was stopping him.
He went to the race with all he had, fully prepped and focused. However, red flags, poor strategy choice had him finishing way below the targeted place. To his luck, Oscar was on a roll of luck and finished way better compared to Lando - and of course that everyone compared. Debrief meetings like that drown the soul more than usually.
Influx of all the journalists was overwhelming that day. The interview fatigue hit hard and after few of those, Lando felt that based on the questions he was asked, everyone thought of this race like a massive fail for him. His own answers continually worsened.
"Why do you think this week has ended the way it did?" asked one of the more prominent interviewers.
"Well, you know how it is. Sometimes the week just does not go the way you'd wish, even if last weekend it seemed like we're on a track to something good. One things affects the other and getting out of that rut is challenging."
"Are you talking about the updates, or something different?"
"Yeah, something like that. But as they say, when life gives you lemons, right. Make lemonade...or limoncello for a rainy day, ey?"
"Well, we hope to see the cheerful Lando soon and ideally at a podium too!" Lando knew the interviewer was only doing his job and technically she was not doing anything wrong, but he could not help and for a split second let his face do a look, that was certainly not appropriate for someone who was so used to media and knew he had to be smart around them.
He was in no mood to watch a celebration of Oscar or to get wrapped up in the post race chaos. Once he felt free to leave, he did, putting his phone on don't disturbe mode and went for a walk around the city with his headphones on, to dwelve in some sad tunes and solitude of his own thoughts.
//
Y/N asked Teresa to punch her anytime she looked like she was about to search Lando news. Her roommate refused to do that as it would be a full time job, but did help her set up some tags to block. Saturday was a success, however once Sunday evening and race time rolled in, Y/N knew she was absolutely not ready to try and ignore it. So instead they made a girls evening in about it. The idea was to replace real memories with Lando for race watching and distance him. They were trying... So they sat together with their study books to combine distractions. Y/N was explaining the race rules, avoiding any personal remarks about Lando. To her own disappointment, he was not featured a lot as there was not much really going on for him during the race. But maybe it was for the best. It really felt alienating, seeing his face on the screen, a character in the story of F1, so far removed from the unfiltered smiling face she had burned in her memory. The mood in the apartment was calm, maybe a little mellow. There was a weird calmness in Y/N, as she knew for a fact that he was busy. Knowing that she will definitely not get any text and that he was not ignoring her was soothing for the soul, even if for just few hours. At the end, the girls had way better time than expected, Teresa taking the initiative to comment on all the rest of the drivers and ranking them based on looks and vibes. She became a Leclerc girl all the way in.
"Right, that's my cue to go to the bathroom," Y/N stood up as the post race interviews rolled in. That would be too much at the moment.
"Love the drama vibes you give off. I'll watch it and let you know if there was anything alarming," Teresa assured her.
"Doubt that," was the bitter response she received back.
Once Y/N came back, she returned to her friend sitting with a puzzled look.
"What?!" all the pent up emotions took the stage, all the hard worked stillness gone as if it was a dream.
Teresa sat in silence, looking bluntly at the screen.
"What??!" Y/N repeated impatiently. "Ugh, forget this charade. I'll just watch it." This all felt like she had passed the test, but hadn't learned the lesson at all.
"Yeah, maybe you should. Interesting, his voice is higher that I imagined," Teresa replied as Y/N became to rewind the stream. They sat in silence, as they watched post race Lando in his tiredness, obvious annoyance and visible dark circles under his eyes. A shock went through Y/N at the word limoncello.
"Y/N, it must a coincidence. He's just been to Italy, so the connection was there...means probably nothing," Teresa said quietly as she watched her bewildered friend.
"Limoncello. Name a more Italian drink...What the fuck?? Is he joking right now? What is this?"
"Y/N, he has no idea you're watching, remember?"
"Yeah, I don't care about that. Makes it even worse actually." She replayed his interview once again.
"Ok, that's it - I'm taking this away from you," Teresa ordered after she saw Y/N going for a third round of the interview. "Do you wanna talk about it, talk it through?" So they went on to the kitchen, cooked some pasta while Y/N went on a rant where she let all her thoughts let loose.
//
"Honestly, fuck him. I don't need the mess he brings into my life. I can find great sex on every corner in this city!"
"Yeah, you go girl!"
"You know what, I'm gonna call him!" Y/N turned directions again for 17th time that day.
"Yeah, I kind of thought you would," Teresa sighed tiredly. "And I think you should, the worst thing you might get is a peace of mind...eventually."
"Yeah, I'm gonna do it! Now!"
She dialed his number. The phone rang for the first time. The second and third. With the seventh dial, she hung up. The girls looked at each and Teresa went for a hug.
"He might be busy with some racing stuff?" Teresa said in a tone which suggested that she herself had a hard time believing.
"I'm so stupid," Y/N whispered.
//
Of course he would miss it. Obviously. Because that just what seems to follow him and this girl around. It was deep evening over at her timezone, but still ok for a late night talk. He called back. What was he even planning on saying? He had no idea. When she did not pick up, he called for a second time. She picked up his facetime call and to say his heart skipped a beat would be an understatement. His heart triple jumped. A face appeared in low light. She smiled.
"Hey you," he opened with. The word honey almost slipped his tongue, but he was not sure how it would be received on the other side of the line.
She waved and gestured him to be silent. Lando was bewildered.
"Where are you?" he whispered, trying to unsucesfully figure out from her background. Again, he was met with a shush. Well, this will be real fun, Lando thought, slightly annoyed.
"Wait, you have me in your earbuds...so you need to be silent, not me!" Y/N frowned and nodded. She got up from where she was sitting and started walking.
"Well, since I have some guaranteed no interruption time, let me fill your ears with a story! There once was a beautiful girl, who talked so much and was so obnoxious that the city decided to ban her from speaking. Luckily, she found the most handsome guy in the town to keep her company with his wit, charm and great looks. To reward him for his services she sent him-"
"Ok, you can STOP now," she exclaimed, as she walked down the stairs.
"Where the fuck are you at this hour, young lady. Someone should seriously keep an eye on you!"
"Yeah, well, I sometimes think the same - and then I'm suddenly sitting in some random hotel room hundreds of miles away from where I was supposed to be," she winked at him. "No, I was at the church."
"Oh...you religious? Wait, are the churches still open?"
"Yes, silly. It's Italy, one always is. And no, I'm not religious per say."
"Oh, well then it makes perfect sense that you're hanging out in churches at midnight, yes."
"Yeah, you know. One gets bored."
"Ok, weirdo," Lando laughed.
"No, I like to go there to clear my head. There is some magic in the architecture and in the old walls," she explained. She really did go to get her head clear, to think it out. "Oh, and one day, I'd like to fuck in like a really old building. Not church exactly, but like I dunno. Our university halls are making me super hot sometimes." She had no idea why this was the first thing she'd pick as a topic. God, she felt lame.
"Well, that would be a hard thing to decline, if you're offering."
"Cheeky as ever, are we?"
"Obviously. So, tell me. Whats up? It's nice to see you by the way. I wanted to tell you that before you shushed me down so politely."
"Aw, nice to see you too, man." Lando would prefer to be called differently. "Some school stuff, completely blew my Monday's presentation, so that was fun."
"You should have studied in the weekend, hmm!"
"Yes! I should have," she had a hard time keeping the smiles in, "Anyway, otherwise it's been pretty much a lot of nothing."
"So you called me because you're bored and not because you wanted to talk to me?" He knew he was pushing it. But desperate times... She hesitated and shot him a strange look he could not decipher.
"Did you know we also have leaning tower here in Bologna?" Y/N panned the phone to show him one of the two towers in the city centre. She was walking around with no apparent destination. "Have you been here?"
Lando smiled weakly. There was a strange frustration regarding the distance he felt towards her. Not the physical miles. "Yeah, I've been there once." His Bologna trip was not exactly a great memory. Maybe this call had been a mistake. The last thing he needed now was to feel strange. He showed her the park he had been walking in.
"I'm in Montreal! Have you been?" Y/N also felt some strange vibes coming through this dry conversation
"No, but sounds fun."
"Not really. There has been a lot of pressure at me lately. I'm starting to hate it. Can't say it to anyone, nobody seems to get it." He looked off to Y/N from the start of the phone call. She took few breaths to triple check that she really wanted to break the elephant in the room. It somehow seemed like a "now or never" situation.
"Saw the race today." Lando paused. He suddenly felt the most vulnerable he had ever felt with her. Did she know him from the first moment? Was she lying? He had a hard time gathering out a response. She felt that, so she started blabbering. The cat was out of the bag, so what the hell.
"I broke our rule after we met. Not immediately! But I just...it felt nice meeting you. And I had no idea about racing beforehand. I overheard your name once and I was like "there can't have been two sets of parents naming their child Lando in this century". She looked at his puzzled face. "I'm sorry." Range of emotions floated through Lando, who was particularly sensitive today. It was only a matter of time when she'd find out who he was, he knew the day had to come at some point. But there was a part of him that wanted him to be the one to tell her. To tell his side of the story first, before she could get it elsewhere. He only had to trust her that she wasn't lying from the start. Very few people liked him for him and not "the racer Lando Norris".
But then again, who was he judge? He practically stalked her down - no, not practically, he actually tracked her down. Why did he do that? Because he was wonderstuck too. He liked her. So that meant that she liked him too. Sense of pride took over.
"Don't say sorry. You look too cute doing that," se said feeling braver now and less like a teenager with a crush. "Nah, it's ok. Wanted to spare you of the NDA, but I guess too late now." The more he came to terms with the fact he was not an enigma anymore, the more confident he became. "I mean, I was the one to find you even though you're not exactly famous, so..."
"Yeah!" she said as if she forgot that. "See, bordeline creepy," she laughed, obviously feeling relieved that he hadn't hung up the phone. "But, it's you, so I guess cute?"
"I'd say it's a little problematic on both parts, so we're even, honey."
She laughed. The looks they shared were a little more intimate than their previous looks. A sense of warmth washed over Y/N.
"It's funny. Do you know when I was in Bologna?"
"Ha, I do actually. My friends saw you at a bar."
"Yes...That's not exactly a coincidence. I wanted to "bump" into you accidentally."
She bit her lip down and closed her eyes. Took a deep breath and replied: "Do you know what was also a massive fail?"
He shook his head.
"I was at Imola. I wanted to "bump" into you accidentally."
Silence followed, as the two idiots took the new information in. Butterflies flying all over Bologna and Montreal.
"I think it's time we stopped dancing around and start being clear with each other or we'll start to look really stupid," Lando stated after a moment.
"Agree, Lando."
"Great, Y/N. I want to see you again soon."
"Me too."
They talked for another hour. Chatting lightly around about this and that, heart racing, not pushing more boundaries anymore that night, as the leap felt big enough to hardly swallow for them at the time. Y/N had final exams so the next weekend was a no go for her. But they agreed she'll come over to Spain, as he calendar was clear until the summer. Apart from seeing each other, confidentiality was a big thing for both of them. They barely knew each other, even if it had felt differently every time they talked.
Y/N was unable to relax that night, as the line "I can't wait to kiss you again," which Lando said instead of a goodbye, burned in her mind with the brightest of all flames. Some people were never destined to be friends.
part 8
__________________________________________________
Tagged all those who like to suffer: @prudyhoo @anuksunamon @sagestack @esquerkaren @ushygushybaby @ilove-tswizzle @thehufflepuffavenger1  @superlegend216 @mehrmonga @lovely-blackinnon @mylifeihate1029 @lausdigitaldiary @tswizzleismother @goldenharrysworld @llando4norris @classiclitfreak  @ophcelia @leclerc13 @starmanv @k4r1402 @biitch-with-wifi @drunk-teens-doing-drugs 
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wheelsup30 · 1 month
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Illicit Affairs (Aaron Hotchner x GN!Reader)
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[note: MORE ANGST UPON YE. also can u tell im on a tswift kick?]
cw: angst with a happy(?) ending, gn!reader, reader's gender isn't specified.
word count: 1k
Inspo: Illicit affairs - taylor swift & peace - taylor swift
“I have to go.” 
It was like clockwork. You'd meet, spend a few hours together, then he'd go and the next morning you'd have to look him in the eye at work like this wasn't breaking your heart.
This time, you decided to push things.
“Why? Who's waiting?” You ask, obviously pointing out the fact he wasn't married anymore and hadn't been for quite some time. The divorce had happened months before the first time the two of you did this routine, so why exactly was it he had to leave so soon?
He’s silent for a moment, then deeply exhales. “No one. But I don't have my go-bag if we get called.” 
A spark of irritation fizzles through you, so you push harder. “What, you can't go get it on the way?”. It's clear by his face he doesn't want to have this talk, and another sigh rolls out of his nose. It was typical really, he only ever wanted to have the good stuff with you, no discussions that might require actual use of his brain cells. To him, you were supposed to be easy, just a way to relax after work that he didn't have to stress over.
Of course, he was more than aware of how unfair that was- you were a human being with very real feelings, reciprocated ones, even. But after Haley he just wasn't ready to focus on anything but Jack and work…which was made difficult by the fact you were work. You were there every day, giving him that hurt puppy dog look that broke his heart a little every time he saw it. Those eyes only made him push you further away, though, so you'd resigned to only allowing them when you thought he wasn't looking (He could never take his eyes off you, though you had no idea that was the case.).
“Can we not do this tonight?” Aaron asks, and you’re startled by the weakness in his voice, by the tightness that was building to a crack. Looking up at him, you can see his eyes glisten in the lamp light, an even more startling reaction to your nagging questions.
“Are you-...are you crying?” You ask in a whisper, worry knitting your brow and bringing a frown to your lips. “Aaron, hey-” 
He tries to shy away, but you don’t let him for once. You pull him close and wipe his cheeks, still concerned about how out of nowhere this reaction is from him. “I just want you to stay, what’s going on?” 
It’s silent for a long while, you assume he’s collecting his thoughts and calming down, so you just keep one hand on his shoulder and the other on his arm to ground him. Five minutes pass before he can look you in the eye, and when he does your heart shatters. The tears just won’t stop. As he falls into your arms, you rub his back and try to push through the confusion at how fast things changed emotionally. “What is it, Aaron…? Honey?” You ask softly, moving so he can sit next to you on the bed.
“I wanna stay-” It’s a little difficult to make out with the tears and the fact he has his face pressed against your shoulder, but you hear it. “I wanna stay,” He repeats “But that makes it real.” 
Time slows, and the cogs start to turn in your head. Losing Haley twice over must’ve been the worst heartbreak he’d ever experienced, and she wasn’t in the field. You are. Sure, that means you’ve got each other’s backs, but it also meant your lives were on the line daily. Sure enough, he finishes your train of thought for you.
“I can’t lose you.” 
You don’t even try to say he won’t, because you know he might. Every time you step out of the bullpen and into the field there’s a target on your back, and you’d be a fool if you tried to ignore that. But was that really a reason to break each other's hearts?
“You might.” You say stiffly, running your fingers through the longest parts of his hair. “But if you keep this up, you’ll lose me too.”
It was something you wanted to let hang, so you did. One hand still running through his hair as you watched him process it…he was tired, you both were, the case you were on right now was one of the worst and was only devolving more. What would usually have been an irritating question with snide comments had become the final straw. Unwittingly, you’d broken him. Eventually, he looked up at you from where he was leaning, and your heart broke. He didn’t have to speak for you to know how he felt. 
“I know…I know it’s scary. I’m terrified.” His bottom lip trembles slightly, and you think about how you’d fight people tooth and nail to never have to see him so upset again, about how it gripped at your chest and stung your eyes every time you took in a breath. “But we can be scared together.”
There was no way to fix this, not alone, but therapy wasn’t something to bring up right now. Right now, the man in your arms clearly needed comfort and support, and that’s what you gave him. Hours pass with him half-cradled in your arms like a child, and eventually you wake up next to him, the pink light of a sunrise flushing his cheeks just like his own heartbreak had the night before. It was odd, seeing a man you knew to be so strong completely relying on you for stability, but at the same time it felt right. If Aaron needed a rock, that’s exactly what you’d be, there was no question he’d do the same for you in a heartbeat. This wasn’t going to be easy, you’d have a lot of explaining to do to the team and your families, but you’d do it together.
Afraid, but in love without denial.
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arctrooper69 · 2 months
Text
As Iron Sharpens Iron
"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." Proverbs 27:17
Beta-read by @dragonrider9905
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Chapter 2:
Previous // Next
Warnings: Jealousy, canon violence.
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Why does she have to come along? You thought bitterly as the ship rattled through the atmosphere.
It was one thing for Phee to come along, but her sister was another story altogether. You had no problem with Phee. She’d proven herself to be extremely helpful when things went south; she was fun and easy to get along with.
Tara, on the other hand, though you’d only worked a job with her twice, seemed to be the opposite. She was nice enough and shared her older sister’s enthusiasm for adventure, but that was where the similarities ended. If Phee was fire, Tara was ice. The others seemed to tolerate her, and you had to admit she was good at her job. Omega enjoyed her stories as much as she did Phee's and for some reason that irked you as well.
She used to come to Hunter for everything.
Hunter and me, you thought bitterly. Lately it was all Tara and Phee who occupied her attentions.
Tara seemed to have a way with people. She’d talk someone up, laugh, and bat her eyelashes, then suddenly the datastick - and sometimes their wallet - would find itself tucked away neatly in her pocket or wherever else she could hide it. Phee spoke highly of her. According to Phee, her sister could draw the attention of a target and sweet talk them into giving her information just as easily as she could disappear entirely in a crowded market - stolen information taken without a hitch. You’d seen the former on the last mission. In just a matter of hours, a few drinks and conversation combined with a pretty dress and tasteful jewelry was all it took for the officer to let slip the location of Cid’s coveted artifact. Even Tech had seemed impressed.
“Good work,” Hunter had said to her, as she made her way back to the ship. His deep, husky voice stirred something inside you even though his words were not directed to you. You’d seen how she’d brushed up against Hunter as she passed him by on the way into the ship. Though Hunter had stepped aside and seemed to pay her no mind, you didn’t trust her as far as you could throw her.
And with how thin she is, I could probably throw her pretty far, you thought with a smirk that quickly disappeared as you looked up.
Hunter currently stood behind her in the cockpit, hand gripping the back of her chair. Her hair brushed across his fingers as he peered over her shoulder at the datapad in her lap.
The ship shuttered and dropped in altitude, ripping you from the jealous thoughts.
Tech, grappling with the failing controls, glanced over at them saying something you couldn’t quite hear over the turbulence.
Another jolt sent you stumbling into a chair, pulling you roughly back to the situation at hand. Hunter grunted at something she said and turned back to the others,
“Strap in,” he commanded, “We’re in for a rough landing.”
You could feel his eyes burning through the back of your head as you fumbled the straps, clipping yourself into place. Undoubtedly he could sense your discomfort, though you doubted he knew the true cause.
He strapped himself into the seat beside you, placing a hand on your knee.
“Relax,” he whispered, “It’s nothing we haven’t done before.”
You froze, staring at his hand on your knee, that strange but familiar warmth burned fiercely through your chest.
He snatched his hand away as though he’d been burned and you found your eyes following the motion as he placed it awkwardly in his lap. He shifted almost immediately to the other seat beside him. Towards her.
The sense of warmth you’d felt evaporated as quickly as it came, replaced with an ache that ran through your body like an icy chill and you shivered.
“The storm is interfering with the navigation systems,” Tech called out, “I am going to attempt a manual landing.”
“Oh boy…” Wrecker’s nervous grip tightened on the shoulder straps that buckled and strained to keep him in place, his fingers finding the well-worn grooves in the metal handle. “We’re gonna crash! We’re gonna crash! We’re gonna crash and die!” he shouted mostly to himself.
You were never sure if he was actually truly terrified or if it was just an involuntary reaction to the adrenaline rush that came with the threat of death.
Probably a bit of both. You found yourself grinning at him, feeling the rush through your own chest - a strange mixture of terror and euphoria that kept you on your toes, ready for anything.
A sharp drop threw you backwards into the seat sending a throbbing ache through your skull, thankfully muted by the protective restraints.
“Ow! Kriff!” Wrecker shouted as his head bounced off the wall, his seat too small to adequately protect his large frame. A loud clatter sounded through the ship, adding to the chaotic clamor of the storm outside.
“No!” cried Tara as the datapad flew from her grasp, sliding across the floor. She reached for her seatbelt.
“Leave it!” Hunter snapped, his hand immediately sliding down to his own safety latch.
Tara shook her head, “We need that information!” She glared over at the fallen datapad with an unyielding determination as she unlatched her straps and staggered to her feet.
“Don’t! It’s not worth anything to us if you’re dead!” shouted Phee as she too reached for her seatbelt, prepared to retrieve her sister. Tara stumbled against the wall as the ship shuttered, sending the datapad further away. She growled in frustration.
“Everybody stay where you are!” Echo’s voice carried over the cacophony of mechanical failure and falling debris, projecting an air of gravity perfected only by an ARC trooper’s experienced command. Phee removed her hand reluctantly from the latch, teeth on edge as she watched her sister stumble to her knees, fingers barely brushing the edge of the datapad before it violently slid away once more. Tara dove after it.
“Almost got it!”
“Tara look out!” Omega shrieked as Gonky came screaming down the short passageway. In a flash, Hunter was out of his seat, tackling Tara to the ground, curling protectively over her as Gonky smashed into the bulkhead where she had been leaning only seconds before.
The ship spun again and Hunter braced himself against a console, grabbing hold of Tara’s arm, dragging her upwards. The datapad slid over and she reached down, snagging it quickly.
“Got it!” She shouted triumphantly, apparently unphased by the fact that she was nearly killed.
Hunter grabbed the datapad from her hand and tossed it to you with a practiced ease as he turned and latched Tara back into her seat.
You gripped the device tightly, watching intently as anger sparked in Hunter’s eyes.
“Don’t ever do that again!” He sank back into his seat and you averted your gaze, staring blankly towards the cockpit where Tech was slowly regaining control of the ship.
“We’re coming in too fast, Tech!” Hunter warned.
“Then I suggest you brace yourselves!” Tech snapped back, brow furrowed in concentration as he pulled the controls with all his might.
“Pull up! Pull up!” shouted Wrecker.
“I. Am. Trying!” Tech grit his teeth.
With one last tug on the yoke, the ship collided with the ground in a wet clatter of fallen tree branches and mud, skidding forward before coming to a roaring halt, just barely missing the edge of a sheer cliff.
Wrecker let out a sigh of relief as he got to his feet, lifting Omega to the ground. You followed Echo as he lowered the ramp and jogged out into the muddy terrain to survey the damage.
He whistled, hand resting on his hip while his scomp arm leaned against the side of the ship. He chuckled, shaking his head as he eyed the mere inches of ground between the end of the ship and the edge of the cliff.
“Cutting it close this time, Tech.”
Hunter grinned, clapping him on the shoulder, “He always does.”
Tech followed him down the ramp, adjusting his goggles, “We survived, did we not?”
“Barely,” muttered Wrecker as he surveyed the cliff and backed up several feet causing Omega to laugh.
“See? I told you we’d be fine, Wrecker.”
Phee’s eyebrows shot up as she joined them on the edge. “Woah! I knew you were good, Brown-Eyes, but this is somethin’ else. Nice landing!”
Tech looked up at her, smiling slightly before turning to glare at his brothers. “At least someone here appreciates the amount of precision and skill it takes to achieve a landing like this.”
Tara was the last off the ship. You handed her the datapad and she cleared her throat,
“Alright, guys. We’ve got a bit of a ways to go, so we should get moving.”
Echo nodded in agreement as Wrecker picked up his pack.
You blinked, not making any move to grab your own pack. Who died and made you squad leader?
Her knack for seizing control of the situation irked you and you found yourself almost unconsciously spinning around to face her.
“Actually, it’s Hunter who gives the orders here, not you.” The words were out before you could even think to stop them. Tara looked surprised. Wrecker froze, pack hanging limply from one shoulder, eyes moving between you, Tara and the rest of the squad. Echo raised an eyebrow. The awkward pause lasted only milliseconds, but to you it felt like an eternity before Hunter stepped in with a sigh, raising a disarming hand. Something indiscernible flashed through his eyes as he looked at you briefly before taking control of the situation.
“Tara’s right…”
The rest of his words were lost to you as a blazing humiliation burned through your chest, mixing strangely with that cold feeling you’d had before.
He took her side. Though you knew Tara was right, it still hurt. No matter how hard you tried to reason with yourself, no amount of logic could relieve the feeling of betrayal. AND I just made a huge fool of myself. Great job….
Wrecker elbowed you, shaking you from your thoughts. Your eyes snapped up and Hunter looked at you expectantly.
“Did you hear anything I just said?”
Kriff. “Y-Yeah!” you stuttered.
He didn’t look convinced but he continued on, addressing the whole team. “Alright then. Let’s get moving.”
Slinging your pack over your shoulder, you began to follow but a nudge from Echo stopped you. He shook his head, looking you over with evident concern written on his face.
“Did you not hear Hunter? You’re with Tech and I. We’ve got to get the ship repaired and primed for a quick takeoff.”
“Right,” you could feel your face warm with embarrassment once more, “Yeah. Guess we should get working then.”
“Yeah.”
Your hands reached for tools, fingers removing and replacing wires, working in a numbing mindlessness on repairs you’d done a thousand times over.
Of course Hunter took her side, idiot! You scolded yourself. She was right. You were wrong.
Tara had her mind on the mission. You had your mind somewhere else, overthinking stupid, impossible scenarios. And yet, you found yourself thinking back to the chaos over and over again - seeing Hunter throw himself protectively over Tara, seeing Hunter’s hand on her arm, hearing his words to her in that deep, authoritative tone: “Don’t ever do that again!”
They were the same words he’d spoken to you just two days ago. The same day you’d seen Hunter in the closet with Tara pressed up against him. The worst part was that you weren’t even sure they were aware that you saw.
So now everyone thinks I’m just crazy. How could I have misread everything so badly!? Was I just seeing what I wanted to see when he had me in his arms?
Though you could’ve sworn that the look in his eyes held something special, it was obvious, now more than ever, that you had clearly misjudged.
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