#why does he indulge me so much this is almost sad

[understandableparadox]

a comprehensive list of everything wrong with hazbin hotel.

quick note before i lose myself in madness, my standards for helluvaboss are non existent because its a free show on youtube. also i kinda like helluvaboss and i will indulge in any bias i damn well please.

oh and spoilers. i guess.

the greater narrative of the entire season is "White lady civilize inner city hoodlum". ex: The blind side. rich girl, affluent family yadda yadda.

the story is set up to be like amphibia, owl house, svtfoe, steven universe, that being starting as something episodic then transforming into story driven narrative. why? because we know the benefits and drawbacks, episodic starts allows us to wander the world, it allows us to understand the dynamics, we are not forced to reckon with anything because there is no deadline. characters are allowed to bloom and shine and the audience can actually get attached.

the source material is Vary Clearly formed from remnants of something out of a middle school edgelord narrative. the usage of transformation, the big spooky grins, the "and then i smile as my eyes glow and-"-isms which in most cases i don't mind because in some instances but in a vary Particular case its astoundingly annoying and that annoyance is like a mold, shit spreads quick.

the color Red. as a lover of homestuck cherubs and karkat and aradia, as someone who fucking loves the color red, it is so painful to say but holy shit tone it the fuck down, i know its hell but their are so many other colors that you can use, its everywhere, the streets, the air, the windows, the screens, the characters, i know the pride ring is represented with red but change up the palates every so often for backgrounds

the rush, this ties into the second point made but i think the story itself is rushed. we know everything way to early. i know way to much and it makes it hard to care about anything because im still trying to digest the last chunk of info. "oh ok, so they clear out hell once a year. oh hell has a heaven embassy? ok. oh that adam the angel, i though he wou- oh its every 6 months now. wait the exterminators die a lot? then why is everyone sca- people in hell already have weapons that can kill angels? w- oh we are in heaven now, ok ma- no one in heaven except for the elites know the exterminations occur? how do-" and its that, just this incessant rush to explain everything to you. notably that's just the god damn spark notes, we need to know everything about the characters now, every single bit of their story, their insecurities, what charlie needs to fix, how she can fix them, the major bad guys, everything. you are never allowed to dwell on a character because we need to rush towards something else. it almost feels like this should have been like... season three, it would have been a fantastic season three if you dropped the introductions honestly.

the concept of redemption. for a story of redemption to work you need to look at three things. What is there crime, Do they want to change, What is preventing them from changeing? there is only one single character that has a notable path of redemption, angel dust, but if you look through their story it feels off. What Exactly is he guilty of? he has sex, does drugs and drinks. his apparent nymphomania is tied to his sad backstory as someone forced into the sex industry so how is that their fault? then if you think about it you start to spiral and notice "hey why are most of these people in hell?" like sure some of them may deserve punishment but then you see the fucking dichotomy and its like "I was a inventor in england and died of the fucking plague, i may have made evil little contraption hoohoohoo" vs "I was a cannibal, a full on cannibal, i fucking killed people and ate them and then someone shot me". ONE OF THESE THINGS ARE A LITTLE MORE FUCKING EXTREME. i'm going to go fucking nuts, the thing they went to heaven with when presenting a case to angels on the idea that redemption and becoming a better person is actually real was angel dust not drinking at a party and not having sex with consenting adults and i want to go fucking insane. WHAT IS THE CRIME, WHO IS THROWING THE BOOK, WHAT DOES THE BOOK INTEL, ARE WE ON GOOD PLACE RULES?! half the cast dont Need redemption they need fucking help, and the other half of the cast do need redemption but they do not seek it making the point moot. sir pentious acts like he has the brain of a hyper intelligent toddler tossing about toys, its almost like he did his one bad thing of spying and then got caught, sank his little diddy about forgiveness and second chances and become a null point through out the rest of the series, sure their was Some weight to him sacrificing himself, he was a decently funny character and he had good moments but him popping up in heaven felt like a fore gone conclusion, he didn't deserve to be in hell so why do i care that he is suddenly in heaven? because its working on the concept the good place already made. no one actually deserves eternal punishment they just need help processing what makes them a dick, but instead of looking at all the parts of the afterlife that make it bad, inefficient and then creating and trying ideas to see if it work instead over a few seasons, we crash dick first into all the major plot points in regards to that and say "tada, we fixed it.".

having a sub-plot about sexual assault and its victims then having multiple sexual assault related gag ruins your point.

don't make a bunch of stereotypically jewish characters into cannibals, that was a big thing, really shouldn't have to say it.

if you are going to make a character black, make them black, you can say alastor was black but sweet seren-fucking-dippity that's not a black man.

pot meet kettle but yeah the cursing could be a little less liberal. maybe just blue hair or the pronouns, not both.

there is a very distinctive art deco/jazz aesthetic which normally i love but i feel as though it is not used to its full extent and in some cases really hurts the character design in and of itself.

this is a vary obvious bit but the story is a million times more interested in gay men then it is of lesbians, which culminates in this insane thing where the writers clearly have more talent or perhaps it would be more abt to say practice writing male gay pining then they are with lesbian pining. which i personally think is hilarious because i did not know you could min max fujoshi-ism that hard.

this next section is more to do with each character on a fundamental level, for the sake of brevity whatever there is left, i'm just doing ones with speaking roles.

13. Charlie:

(see what i mean about that red thing?)

as originally stated charlie fits rather comfortably into every white saviour narrative, though that seems to be part of her joke. though i'm not entirely sure how much of a joke it can be when its rewarded and expected to advance the plot.

her character design says nothing, it has the motif of old puppets or dolls, she wears something vaguely similar to service suits, her demonic form is just some extra horns.not to say every character needs to have their life on a clothes rack but some more snake and goat imagery would be nice

its not the chol design of charlie with snake hair, not an actual problem but its a problem to me, damn you @cholvoq for ruining my ability to look at any of the characters without wishing i was seeing your designs instead.

character wise aside from the white savoir bit, i'm having a bit of trouble understanding what the arc of the character is. she is shown to be naive, someone who doesn't understand how the world works but everytime she says something its something astoundingly clear like "people can actually get better". and its treated like someone demanded faygo in every water fountain. is the joke that the world around her to cynical or is so to naive? please pick one or the other.

now if you know me, you know i fucking hate overpowered characters with a blinding passion, one that would set alit the god damn abyss but in this one special instance, i feel like its warranted, she's the direct descendant of fucking God, she can swing her weight around a little, i mean god damn. she in so many instances looks like shes cowering so often, why would the daughter of lucifer get backed down by some rando pimp? why wasn't she the one to fight adam? sure you can say she is young but how young? her parents were there since pre-abrahamic times, most of the characters showed up in hell in the 1900s, some of them showed up in the 1600s, how old is charlie??? how long does it take for her to learn how to be strong? The story does not suffer if charlie is strong and knows she is strong. it can easily be a case of "i don't believe in violence to a weird degree". fit it into her apparent naivety about the world to believe that violence is never the answer even when dealing with a being that is unilaterally horrible and abusive and monstrous.

she ga- no im kidding, i do think her romance was waysided a bit, it would have been fine to have more scenes of them togather and in love you know?

14. Vaggie

why did you name the lesbian vaggie...? Don't do that maybe?

I like how her design is almost moth like but again i feel as though you could have amped that up.

she feels as though someone tried to combine undyne and pearl from steven universe, same story beats and design elements. it makes it hard to really distinguish her as a character.

i honestly dont have much to say about her. she is fine.

christ kill me, lets just get the big one out of the way

15. Alastor.

God Damn

where to start.

"alastor is mixed race" mixed with fucking what? concrete? there is not a single black feature on that creature, now im not saying you have to make him a png of louie armstrong but it wouldn't hurt to add a curl to the hair maybe? make it a tiny bit more wavy? Something? a crumb i beg of thee?

his symbolism is all over the god damn place, native american monsters (you know the one), voodoo, radio, puppets, stitches, circuses??? and Tentacles i guess. two of those are from closed religions so if you dumped those you would actually get a more concise character focused on the concept of vox populi as a means of societal control and influence as we see in his first song. but again that gets drowned out repeatedly by all the other random toy box bits shoved into him.

tumblr sexy man bait

he serves no purpose in the story. he does spooky stuff, pretends to do things and then goes back to sitting around looking spooky. i understand that his motif is supposed to be aloof mastermind but maybe have him do more mastermindy things? if you remove most of alastors scenes, bar the songs, it doesn't change all to much. husk and nifity can still be at the hotel, they could be looking for outs in their contracts the same as angel dust. hell it even helps with the one scene where he dose some spooky shit, asking charlie for a favor in exchange for his help in the fight with the angels instead of asking him about angel weapons which should have remained a strictly vaggie scene.

his presence in a way delegitimize the story, as I noted in in the section regarding redemption, the three parts are "what is the crime, do they want to change, what is stopping them?" and alastor kinda just spits in the face of that. he is a serial killer cannibal that has no qualms about how evil he is and apparently must continue being evil due to being under the control under someone legitimately called the Root Of All Evil. show him take a slight interest in the idea that maybe shit for him could be better, make him Want Change at the bare fucking minimum or dont have him at the hotel.

his stupid little fucking horns, big shot the troll liker wants characters to have big fucking horns, make them noticeable or dont have them.

he looks more like a dog boy, which could have been an interesting thing with the collar motif but fuck me i guess.

personal pet peeve but i fucking hate characters that have a million plus powers, stick to a set number, be creative.

im getting more petty as i go on so last point: he could have been in less episodes, he didn't need to be in dad beat dad, that should have been just a lucifer and charlie episode. inverse the red and black and i think he would be fucking great color wise, his body type is the same as ten different characters, he isnt radio enough, aside from the voice and and staff if you told me he was the fucking Cat Demon i would have been just as convinced.

16. Angel Dust

what the fuck, gay spider? its hard to actully articulate all the thoughts i have on angel dust, not in the sense that he is a deeply thought provoking character but in the fact that there is not much meat on the bones.

all around i think angel dust is kinda middling. he has a decent enough romance with husk, he has a decent enough story line that revolves around battling addiction and removing yourself from an abuser (which the story tries to brand as "Redemption???")

I dont like that most of his jokes would qualify as sexual harassment, i don't mind him being sexual as a character but continuing on when clearly someone doesn't like the jokes hurts the character.

not a critique but he is pink, which honestly ill fucking take at point, as long as its not more fucking red.

i think his design is an improvement over some of the old vivzie designs but it feels like it could have done with going a few more rounds of design changes.

same thing with alastor, charlie and vaggie, there is not enough of the animal that they are supposed to be. You could have told me angel dust was a fucking bee or something and i would have had to believe you. nothing about angel dust initially says spider, hell he dosent even have enough limps to be a fucking spider.

17. Carmilla carmine

are... are you supposed to be a rabbit...?

Big Yoai Hands

ballet fighting style, could have been cool, wish she fought more like sanji or chun li.

A single mom that works to hard, who loves her kids and never stops-

her song was decent, not great, decent. it feels as though the actress has experience singing but not in the way they tried to make her sing during her two songs. they have a obvious mexican influence, honestly just let her sing in spanish in the english dub. go listen to the spanish dub, "out for love" sounds great in spanish.

i wish i had more thoughts on them, fucking rip.

18. cherri bomb

that's not a punk aesthetic that's 2010s alt

decent character, they showed up once or twice i guess, no real thoughts.

19. egg boiz

absolutely perfect, i have not notes on them, these are perfect creatures.

20. Emily

im so fucking happy to see a singular blue character

does the naive dreamer bit better then charlie

We really shouldnt have seen her until the end of season two or middle of three.

good contrast with the other angels on screen.

Wait she is supposed to be black??? Where???

21. Husk

keith david you absolute delight, Why on gods green earth did they only give you one singing part?

one of the few charecters where its clear husk is a cat, i do like the kinda... marquee design, he is a magic cat, thats neat. i still think you can toss the wings and eyebrows and still have just as good of a charecter.

has a deeply intresting story of someone who died as a nobody, became the fat cat of hell and then was forced back to the bottom by their own vices, not used at fucking all.

huge potential, little pay off.

22. lillith

I know nothing about her except she ditched her kid and husband to vacation in heaven and i think thats kinda funny.

alot of werid things floating around her, again she shouldnt have been shown in the show at all until next season.

23. lucifer morningstar

no notes, funniest charecter, did a song based on friend like me.

few notes: i do like the idea that the immortal symbol of pride is a constant emotional wreckage constantly seeking approval through grand showmanship and manic energy that threatens to take over anything they touch.

would have liked more snake stuff on him, maybe some more goat things like horns.

that is such a stupid fucking staff lmao.

24. Adam.

alex brightman you absolute fucking delight, you should have had more songs.

I wish his design was more focused on the idea of him being a glam rock wash up

I fucking hate his mask

We shouldn't have met him until the end of the season.

25. Niffty

again she is supposed to be a bug or cockroach but nothing about her points to that.

token straight

keeps rocketing back and fourth between sexulization and infantilization

you had kimiko glenn but didnt give her a single fucking song?

26. Sir Pentious

the secret season one redeemed.

the pilot version of him felt more like someone that could do a season one redemption arc, a megalomaniac constantly attempting territory grabs, there is something you can work with, actual character flaws to work through.

essentially a child after the first episode.

actually a snake which i appreciate.

no where near steampunky enough.

27. the villians of the show dont make much sense, each one feels like they should be season long deals on their own instead of a bunch of team rocket esque idiots that show up on occasion, do a bad thing and then leave.

28. Valentino

gOD THERE IS SO MUCH RED

only a moth some of the time.

sucks as a villain, maybe they need more screen time to show why they suck in a more substantial way aside from being told that he sucks.

it is interesting that angel dust is only under his magical control when in the studio, it shows that angel dust has to make a conscious choice to return, which in turn can be made to show how abusers can draw back their victims. I do not think it was done well in this circumstance as it shows him to be cartoonishly evil, constantly flying back and fourth between sweet and utter psycho, there is no actual reason for angel dust to ever actually go back to the studio, he just does so every so often.

29. Vox

legit who cares? the only thing about him that is in any way substantial is all the dope ass fan art we get.

propaganda machine angle that is not explored at all, just hinted at. no actual barring on the story whatsoever.

why didn't he try to do the same shit as alastor by the way? he knows its bad if alastor gets in good with charlie so shouldn't it be a ass kissing race?

same body shape as literally every other male character.

tumblr sexy man version of pyrocynicals fursona.

30. Valvette

the actual poster child of the shows huge problem of "Show me, don't tell me".

apparently the glue that holds the villains together. never shown.

apparently the one that makes the love potions that valentino is famous for. had to learn about that in the fuckin wiki trivias

we know so much about her from things outside of the show.

was there to call carmilla a coward, that's her plot contribution. she shows up every now and again but its never anything substantial and serves to more around take up run time for people We Don't Need To Know Yet.

im not trying to be mean, animation is animation, we need smaller studios to have success in the industry so that other indie studios can have that success, felling a tree makes it easier for others to follow. showing that its possible to number brain rot exacs helps all animators.

but this show has so much bullshit attached to it, it has so much fucking potential that it fries my brain with unyielding frustration.

this took a bit to write, im tired, thanks for reading.

#hazbin hotel

[whatsk-poppinhomies]

Pairing : Lee Felix x F!Reader TW : very angsty ; fluffy in the beginning just to break everyone's hearts a little bit more ; death of a family member ; famous nana cliffhanger ; Word Count : 5.2k Request : @lovesunshinefelix : Write more angst 😵‍💫 GIVE ME THE ANGST 😭🧎‍♀️ A/N : Of course! Anything for you bestie!! This one might be a little bit self indulgent just slightly, but it's definitely gonna be sad. I love making angsty Felix fics!

“One iced americano, please.”

“Okay, and what’s the name for the order?” 

“Lee Felix.” 

“Mmn… It should be done in just a moment.”

“Thank you.”

Such a short interaction, but that’s how it all began. You were simply the barista at the coffee shop next door to the office, but in a matter of seconds, you had become so much more to him. Your sweet smile and the fairy lights that twinkled in your eyes as you looked at him. He was absolutely enamored by you. 

The craziest part was that he didn’t even like coffee that much, he had just been craving the taste of the drink. Is that why it felt all the more serious to him? Like it had been fate that brought him to you in the first place, but now it was you that kept bringing him back. 

“One iced americano, please.” 

“The name for the order?” 

“It’s Lee Felix.” 

“Alrighty, it should be done soon.” 

“I’ll wait here.” 

He wondered if you’d remember him if he came in every day. Would you remember his order or his name? Would you remember the way he’d smile at you whenever you spoke? Would you remember anything about him, or was he just another customer that you probably forgot about once the work day was done? 

He wanted it to be like that, he wanted to be a customer that you looked forward to seeing. He wanted your head to lift with every ring of the bell when the shop door would open. He wanted you to wait for his appearance, to see you smile when he finally came in. He wanted you to recognize him. 

“One iced-“ 

“Americano? Is it for a Lee Felix?” 

“Hm… Maybe I should switch up my order?” 

“It’s almost been two weeks, I can’t imagine having an iced americano every single day for that long.” 

“Well, what would you recommend?” 

“I’m not sure… I don’t really drink coffee.” 

“That’s ironic. You don’t drink anything here?” 

“Does the free water count?” 

“I’ll take a free water then.” 

It was the first time he had actually talked to you, but it was also the first time you had said his name in any way other than letting him know that his order was done, it was the first time that you had said his order without his having to really say anything at all. It was the proof that he needed to know that he was on the right track, he just had to keep going. 

You had laughed that day too, not one of those fake laughs that he had heard you give the other guys that would try to flirt with you… It was a genuine laugh, the sound so beautiful that it was on a constant loop in his head for the rest of the day. He couldn’t get you off of his mind, but he didn’t want to rush things. Even if he felt that things were going perfectly, he wanted you to feel the same way. 

“Two free waters and a croffle, please.” 

“Really changing it up now, are we? Are you bringing a date?” 

“Ah… Not exactly…” 

“Good, because I don’t think a woman would be very impressed with free water for a drink.” 

“But the woman doesn’t drink anything on the menu. I’m really going out on a limb here with the croffle.” 

“You can never go wrong with a croffle, they’re delicious. Why would you invite this woman to the coffee shop if you know she doesn’t like anything on the menu though?”

“Because this is the only place I get to see her, and I’m too shy to ask her for her number, so I just wanted to see if she wanted to have some free water and share a croffle with me.” 

“Oh… Is she here already?” 

“I’m looking at her…” 

He could remember vividly the way you froze, the way it felt when his stomach began its descent, thinking that you would turn him down. It took you so long to say anything, he wondered if he had completely blown it by being so forward. He had never been so nervous in his life, but then that smile appeared on your face and you let out the most beautiful laugh, the sound tinged with a certain shyness that he had never read from you before. Did he make you as shy as you made him?

Sitting across the table from you, he could feel it, you were meant for him and he was meant for you. He was a perfect mix of so many emotions, nervousness, shyness, happiness, he was everything balled up into one, but it made him feel alive. It was like he was standing on stage and performing for all of STAY, except there was no setlist, there was no particular script or order that he had to follow… And it was only your eyes on him… But it was just as amazing, if not more, because you were looking at him and only him, and you were there with just him. He was all yours, and you were all his. 

///

“If you could have your wedding anywhere in the world, where would it be?” He asked as you both laid on the blanket beneath the cherry blossom trees that were in full bloom. It was beautiful, the perfect spot for a date, although most people would say that he didn’t have to try as hard now that it’s been 5 months since the two of you have been together. He didn’t believe them though, because every single time he took you somewhere new, somewhere more beautiful than the last, your eyes would light up and that adorable smile would stretch across your face, and he’d question why he would give that up. 

You hummed in thought, and he wondered what your mind looked like right now. Were images of your dream wedding playing out behind your closed eyes? Was he the one standing across from you in those thoughts, dressed in a suit, tears in his eyes as he watched the woman of his dreams walk down the aisle to meet him at the end? “I think… Hmm… Well, I don’t really mind much, actually. As long as I’m there with the person that I love, that I want to spend the rest of my life with… The place doesn’t matter much at all.” How could you be so amazing? He asked himself that every single day. “What about you? Where would your dream wedding be?” 

He hummed softly, rolling over onto his side and propping himself up on his elbow, staring down at you with the most loving eyes. He knew for a fact that he had never loved someone as much as he loves you, and it was only bound to get stronger. “I’m sure that a lot of people would think that I’d want to get married on the beach somewhere in Australia since that’s where I’m from… But I feel like the beach is rather cliche, it gets done too much.” 

“I like the beach…” You murmured, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear, your fingers lingering against his cheek. “I think it would make for some beautiful pictures, don’t you?” He hadn’t exactly thought about it that way, but now that he heard your input, it was like his entire view had been changed. 

“The beach it’ll be then.” He said quite enthusiastically, his cheeks still flushed from where you had touched him. You just had the ability to send fire coursing through his veins and he loved the feeling of it, the warmth that it brought. 

You giggled softly, rolling your eyes at the sudden switch up. “What’s with the serious questions all of a sudden? Do you plan on getting married some time soon? You have to invite me to the wedding.” You joked, and he stuck his tongue out at you before dipping down and pressing his lips to yours. 

“The only wedding I want is the one where you’re meeting me at the end of the aisle.” He said much softer now, even his breaths were so quiet it was almost like he wasn’t breathing at all. “We have time though… I just wanted a general idea of what you’d want.” 

“Felix…” His name was like a breath from your lips, so gentle, so light that the winds that shook the blossoms off the trees would be able to pick it up and carry it away. 

“It’s okay, you don’t have to think too hard about it just now. I’ll make sure everything is perfect for you when the day comes.” 

“You’re crazy…” You murmured, and maybe he was. Maybe he was out of his damn mind to be planning a wedding with a girl that he had met at a coffee shop only five months ago. But to him it felt right, it felt like the only thing to do. He knew that all he wanted was you anyway, and he didn’t want to hide the way he felt for you. He wanted you to know that you were the only person he ever wanted in his life. 

“Mm… Maybe… You smell like coffee beans…” He teased, nuzzling his nose into the crook of your neck and taking a deep breath. “Is that… French Roast? Maybe… with a hint of vanilla?” 

You squealed, playfully pushing against his shoulders as you tried to squirm free. “Stop it! You’re the one who didn’t want to wait for me to go home and change when I got off!” You defended, but he thought it was so damn adorable. 

“I just like to see you, I didn’t want to wait!” He jokingly whined, dropping on top of you completely, his face still hidden, his lips brushing against your skin as he spoke. “You smell amazing, absolutely delicious, my coffee queen.” 

///

“Would you rather have your body and Bbokaris head, or the other way around?” You asked one night as you sat beside him on the couch. The question was most likely nothing more than a joke, but he wanted you to know that he listened to and thought about everything that you said, so he paused the movie that was playing on the tv and turned his body entirely toward you. 

“Would you still love me regardless of what my answer is?” He quizzed, his eyes searching deeply into yours for the answer, and you nodded your head so firmly that he knew you weren’t lying. You’d love him no matter what, and he would love you just the same. “I think I’d rather have his head, I don’t want to be any shorter… Or… Am I just a regular sized version of Bbokari? Is he me sized or am I him sized?” 

You snorted at the questions, your laughter still his most favorite sound in the entire world. He made a goal to make you laugh at least twice a day, if not more. “It would be the size of your skzoo plushy. It would be so cute though, wouldn’t it?! I could just carry you around with me everywhere I go! I’d never have to miss you!” 

Even though you were still giggling, your words made his heart flutter. Did you miss him when he wasn’t around? Did your heart ache like his whenever there was distance between the two of you? He always tried not to be too clingy. “You never have to miss me now, just text me and I’ll come to you always.” He draped his arm over your shoulder, tugging you closer to his side as he pressed a small kiss to your temple. 

“You have so much work to do, I don’t like bothering you. I would never call you away from practice or recording just to see you… Even if I want to.” You looked up at him, your smile pushing your cheeks up and squinting your eyes. Your eyes… He wanted to get lost in them for hours and hours, he wanted to live in them just for a moment, to see the world the way you do. What made you angry? What made you sad? He’s been with you for seven months now and he’s never seen you anything but happy. Was it because you were with him? Did he make all of your fears, your worries, your anger… Did he make it disappear? 

“I think even if I had Bbokari body I’d be in practice… Can you imagine?” Your head fell back once more as your laughter filled the room, he never wanted to stop hearing it. “Wait… Would my head shrink too, or would my head stay normal sized? I have so many questions!” 

You were laughing even harder now, wheezing even as you breathlessly tried to talk through fits of giggles. “Your normal head… Definitely… It would be so top heavy on the tiny body… Oh my gosh… Just picturing it… The Maniac move… With the…” You couldn’t even finish the sentence, bursting into a new fit of laughter, and now his mind was filled with the same image, and you both were laughing. 

It was nice to have someone to just laugh with, to goof around with. He felt so normal with you, he could have fun, he could be truly happy when you were beside him. That’s why he couldn’t let you go, why he kept thinking to a time somewhere in the future where you and him would both be on the beach in Australia, surrounded by your families and your friends, and he’d slip a ring onto your finger and promise himself to you for the rest of forever. 

///

“When was the last time I told you I loved you?” Felix asked over the phone, trying not to speak too loud. Sharing a hotel room wasn’t exactly hard, but he tried to be as respectful as possible to the guys who were trying to sleep while also trying to talk to you as much as he could. Time zones were always a pain in the ass, but they’re even worse now considering he couldn’t just not talk to you while he was away. 

“About five seconds ago.” You whispered, although there was no need for you to, he had your voice coming through his headphone so none of the other guys would hear you. “It’s so early in the morning for you… Aren’t you tired? I don’t want to keep you up all night.” 

“Mm… It’s worth it to talk to you.” He didn’t care if he was tired, he’d just sleep while getting his hair and makeup done, or he’d sleep in the car on the way to the next venue. “Have you eaten yet?” He quickly tried to change the subject, truthfully, he just wanted to hear you talk. He loved listening to you speak, he could lay in the hotel bed for hours with your sweet whispers filling his ears. 

“Not yet… I’m trying to think of what to eat.” The sound of your kitchen cabinets squeaking was heard and he chuckled softly, making a mental note to try to fix them or at least put some oil on the hinges so they wouldn’t be as loud. “Think I might just have a ramen bowl. It’s not as fun to do the dishes when I don’t have my designated drier.” 

Everything that the two of you did together was fun, it didn’t matter what it was. Whether you were going on dates or if it was something as mundane as doing the dishes or the laundry, if you were doing it together, that’s what made it enjoyable. “Well just let the dishes build up and we’ll have so much fun washing them together once I get back.” He teased, and he could just see the eye roll that came along with your soft snort as you tried to stifle your laughter. 

“I don’t think my sink is big enough for that many dishes.” You said between giggles, but your laughter was short lived as you let out a quiet sigh. “I miss you… So much…” Your voice was quieter now, almost to the point that he couldn’t hear you, and the only reason he could is thanks to the headphones. “Bbokari doesn’t hug me back the way you do… The bed is so empty and cold on your side… And the clothes that you left me are starting to lose your scent.” 

He couldn’t be more thankful that the two other guys in the room were already asleep because he could feel the tears pricking at his eyes as he listened to you. Felix missed you just as much, and he considered himself to be lucky because he wasn’t in a house that would feel so lonely if the roles were reversed. “I know, babe. I’ll be home soon, just wait for me. I miss you too… So much. I wish I could have snuck you here with me, I wish you would have packed yourself in my suitcase. We wouldn’t have to miss each other at all.” 

Now you both were crying, and he got up out of the bed as quietly as he could to make his way to the bathroom just to make sure he didn’t wake anyone up with his sniffling. “I love you, Lix…” Hearing you say it, no matter how many times he heard it, it was always like the first time. His heart would flutter and he’d feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and while this time was no different, there was an extra feeling of sadness that came along with it. 

“I love you too, babe… Don’t cry anymore, please? You’re too beautiful to cry… Smile for me, okay? And just always remember, I’m not gone forever, I’ll always come home to you.” 

///

2 months later and he was finally heading back home to you. The night before the flight he had stayed up just to talk to you on the phone, it sounded like you were crying again, but he assumed that the tears you were shedding were tears of happiness that he’d finally be returning to you. He’d be lying if he tried to say that he hadn’t shed a few tears himself at the thought of finally being able to hold you and kiss you again. 

He slept through the entire plane ride, and he hadn’t told you what time he’d be landing because he wanted to surprise you by showing up at your work. He wouldn’t say that he’s a hopeless romantic, but he couldn’t stop thinking about how romantic it would be to show up at your work with a bouquet of flowers. He could already see the shy little smile that would spread across your face, the flustered look in your eyes when you saw him walk through the door. 

When the plane finally landed, his excitement really kicked in. He didn’t want to wait to take his things back to the dorms, he didn’t even care to change his clothes or check to see how he looked. All he could think about was you. So he had the guys take all of his bags back to the dorms and he asked to be taken straight to the little coffee shop right beside the office… after stopping by a flower shop first though. 

“One iced americano, please.” His voice was cheerful as he practically waltzed through the door, the tiny bell above his head ringing out and announcing his entrance. The bouquet was hidden behind his back and he couldn’t help but smile wide as he looked around at the familiar scenery… They hadn’t changed anything in the months that he had been gone. 

“She’s not here.” One of the employees said, and Felix didn’t know whether to feel disappointed, humiliated, or both. He was sure that you would be there, you always worked on the weekdays, and it’s not like you had said anything about having your schedule changed. Maybe he should have let you know that he was on his way to the shop just so that you could have let him know that you weren’t there. 

“Oh… Well… Did her schedule change?” He asked rather sheepishly, and the girl behind the counter cocked her head to the side, her eyebrow raising. “What? Why are you looking at me like that? You didn’t fire her, did you?!” 

“She didn’t tell you, did she?” The girl leaned across the counter, and there was a look in her eye that made it clear to him that she found some kind of enjoyment in this, but he didn’t know what the hell she was talking about. “She went home. And I’m not talking about down the street. I mean, she hopped on a plane and went home. She was in a rush too.” 

The flowers fell to the floor, and he felt that he was going to be next if he didn’t keep himself steady against the counter. You… You didn’t even live in Korea… And you hadn’t told him that at all. He wouldn’t have even minded, as long as he knew that you’d always be his… But you just left. You left without saying anything to him. You left without warning, without reason. He didn’t even know what to do. 

For a moment, the world froze, time seemed to stop entirely, his mind reeling with what he could do, what he should do. Was he supposed to call you? Would you even answer him? Were you trying to run away from him? Had he done something wrong? He just couldn’t understand what he had done to make you leave without a message, a call… You had given him nothing when he wanted to give you everything. It wasn’t fair. Was he too clingy? Why didn’t you just talk to him? He would have done anything to just keep you, he would have changed completely if it meant having you still. 

“If you want to talk about it, I-“ The girl began, but he didn’t want to talk to anyone if it wasn’t you. She didn’t have the answers, she couldn’t tell him what he needed to know. He stormed out of the shop, taking a deep breath, the cold air catching in his throat and causing it to burn. He didn’t want to cry, but it seemed inevitable as the chill caught on the dampened streaks that coated his cheeks. Was there someone else? What was he to you that you could just give up so easily? How could you walk away without even a glance back, a second thought? He couldn’t let you do this, he just couldn’t. He was going to get an answer, whether you planned on giving it to him or not.

///

“Tell me more about your time in Korea. Tell me about that boy you met.” Your grandmother said hoarsely, her frail hand reaching out to grab yours. “You smile when you talk about him. I like seeing you smile.” 

“Gran… You really need to rest now.” You whispered, holding her hand in both of yours to try to warm it up. She always felt so cold now. “I’ll tell you all about it, I’ll tell you all about him when you wake up. I’ll be here.” Your thumb brushed along her knuckles, her skin wrinkled and thin, but to hold her hand was such a comforting thing, to be there beside her. 

She didn’t argue, she simply settled against her pillow, using her free hand to pull up her blanket a little higher as she kept her other hand between yours. She was weak, she was sick, and when you had gotten the call from your father that she was being moved from the hospital and being put into hospice, there was nothing that would keep you from being by her side. 

It was late, 11 o’clock at night, a little past that even, and everyone had gone to bed in their respective guest rooms. Everyone but you, still jet lagged and running on Korean time. You were wide awake, and you knew that a part of you refused to fall asleep just so that you’d have a little more time with your grandmother, even if it was just sitting beside her while she was sleeping. It might be all the time you have left with her, and a part of you felt guilty for being gone the past year, before she got really sick, before things came to this. You knew that she would have wanted you to live your life though, to find happiness, to find someone that you loved, someone who loved you back just as much. And you had found that, you had found all of those things in Felix, and you felt terrible for leaving the way you did, but you were in such a hurry, you were hoping he’d understand. 

11:56pm, four minutes to midnight and your phone rang on the nightstand table beside your grandmother’s bed. Felixs name was at the top of the screen and you quickly answered it, taking one last look at your grandmother before leaving the room to stand in the hallway, not wanting to risk waking her up while talking to him. “Lix…” You sighed out his name, and there was a sense of relief being kept at bay long enough for you to hear his voice, and you knew that once you did, you’d feel slightly better. 

“You left.” He began, and that relief never set in, instead there was just dread and more guilt stacked on top of the already existing emotion. “An entire year, and I didn’t even hear it from you, I heard it from one of your coworkers that you don’t even live here… And the worst part is that I didn’t even hear about it until you were already gone.” 

“I know that you’re angry, you have every right to be… But can you just listen to me, please?” You begged as quietly as you could, leaning against the wall in the hallway and slowly sinking to the floor. 

“I do have the right to be angry, and I won’t listen. You had almost 365 days for me to sit and listen to you so that maybe I’d understand what you did… But not now. It’s too late for explanations and I don’t want to hear your excuses either.” 

He sounded so angry, you had never heard him get mad before, and while you would have gotten angry right back, you were too busy being devastated. You needed him, you needed him more than anything right now, but he wasn’t even listening to you. On top of being sad, you were confused, you did live in Korea, just because you weren’t originally from there didn’t mean that you weren’t living there. “Why did you call… If you’re just going to yell at me and not listen to what I have to say… Why would you call me?” 

“You basically walked out on me… No… You did worse… You left the damn country. You’ve broken me, I can’t believe you’re the one even crying right now.” You clasped your hand over your mouth to try to muffle the sound of your sobs just so he wouldn’t point them out. “You know what… I don’t have anything else to say to you. I hope you enjoyed your year, you can go tell everyone about how you broke my heart, I’m sure you’ll be real popular for that. Bye.” You didn’t know what the hell he was on about, you didn’t know where the assumptions even came from, but they only managed to hurt worse. 

You were left in silence, your heart in shambles as you sat in the dark hallway, the only light coming from the cracked bathroom door at the end of the hall. You were shrouded in sadness, you had just lost the love of your life, the man that you planned on spending the rest of your life with, and you were about to lose your grandmother. Was there anything else that life would throw at you? 

///

It had been a week since the phone call, and while he had been angry then, the anger had slowly worn off and turned into a sadness spurred by the loneliness that he felt without you there. Hell, he would have been fine just talking to you on the phone, hearing your voice or seeing you through a video call. There was too much shame though, too much regret. He had lost his temper with you, and while the call had initially been to figure out why you had left, he hadn’t even let you talk long enough to tell him. 

He tried to not let it bother him, he tried to focus his mind on anything else, but whenever he’d go to the office, he’d have to go past the little coffee shop and it was a constant reminder of you, of when things had first begun. He felt like a fool, an absolute idiot, and now he didn’t even know how you were doing. He still loved you, and he wanted nothing more than to tell you those three words and hear them back, but now he was too scared to even try to contact you. 

So he watched your social accounts, waiting to see an update of any kind. You hadn’t blocked him, which was either a good sign, or a sign that you hadn’t been online in a while and he didn’t know how to feel about that thought. The last post you had made was from a week before he had left for tour, a picture of the two of you sitting at your table in the coffee shop, sharing a croffle with your free waters, a perfect recreation of your first date. 

His notifications were on for whenever you did post, just so that he could be the first person to like the picture or an update, but it had been so long since you posted that he rarely even checked the notifications to see if it was you. Today had been a rare occurrence where he had already been looking at his phone when you did post, and while it was only an instagram story update, he immediately clicked on it. 

“I’ll miss you Gran… I love you so much.” The text read under a picture of an older woman, her eyes wrinkled in the corners, a sign that she smiled a lot, and her smile was just like yours, he could see it in the picture. She was a happy woman, he could tell that she was loved, and that she had loved just as much. As he looked at the picture longer though, it set in, the realization… You hadn’t left him, not because you wanted to… You had to go home, you had to be there for her, for your family… And he had gotten angry with you for that… He hadn’t even let you explain. 

“Oh… Fuck!” He hissed, quickly closing out of instagram and opening his phone, his thumb hovering over your contact. He wasn’t sure how he’d go about apologizing, he didn’t know how the phone call would go even if you did answer, but he had to try. He had to at least say sorry if nothing else, so he called you, and he waited for it to go to voicemail, but then he heard silence… and then a shaky breath… You were crying. “Y/N… Babe… Are you there?” 

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[chrisevansonly]

𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐅𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: charles leclerc x female reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: life is too heavy to carry, thankfully your boyfriend will carry it with you

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: talks of mental health and suicidal thoughts, mentions of depression, heavy topics so please read at your own discretion

𝐚/𝐧: i’ll be honest this is self indulgent and i know i said i wasn’t writing but idk i feel so low and thought writing about how im feeling might help? ive struggled with mental illness my whole life so i find writing it out in a way i can enjoy helps…i hope it helps others that are in need of it too<3

Life is painful, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, it’s dark and gloomy, heavy and hard to carry, life is painful. Okay well maybe not for everyone but for you it was, and it was draining, exhausting really trying to survive each day instead of living like everyone else. Truth be told you’d struggled with mental illness for as long as you can remember. In high school the suicidal thoughts came into play and you had fallen into a place no one deserved to fall.

You’d hear people tell you to smile, cheer up, get outside and take in the fresh air, but they don’t understand. They don’t get the internal pain one feels when they deal with depression and anxiety, unless you live it: you don’t get it.

So yes, life was painful but there was an ounce of sunshine in your life and it came in the form of Charles, your boyfriend of exactly three years. The man who broke through the storm to bring you blue skies and calm waters, the man who held you tightly as you cried for a break, aching for a moment of peace within yourself. Charles was a gift, you were sure of it: he was too.

“my love…?”

His voice was soft, delicate as it filtered through the dark bedroom, eyes filled with concern as he looked at you huddled under the blankets, almost willing them to swallow you whole

“hmm?”

It might not have been a word but Charles would take it

“can I get you anything? do you need something?”

The room fell silent again except for the sound of covers shifting, your head peaking over the duvet

“y-you please”

Hearing your voice break was enough for Charles to promptly move from his place in the doorway, lifting up the covers on his side of the bed before settling down and pulling you into his side, letting you virtually melt against him

“okay, okay i’m here, it’s okay amour..”

“it-it hurts”

“i know baby, i know it does…but it will only hurt for a little, i promise you.”

You wanted to believe him, you really did, but how many years would you have to suffer before it truly felt like you would never know how to feel okay.

“it’s hard to be here”

Now this caught Charles attention right away, having known your past with depression and even suicidal thoughts, he felt his blood run cold at the thought of you being anywhere than right here with him

“listen to me baby, i know it hurts, i know it’s hard, but i promise you i will help you find your sunshine, i will help you find your happiness”

He paused shifting to rest a hand on your cheek, his thumb swiping at a stray tear on your cheek

“i love you with everything in me, and i will do whatever i can to help you through this, if you need me to carry more of the weight, let me, if you need a shoulder to lean on more than usual, do it. you are my entire world baby, i won’t ever leave you out in the dark to take this on all on your own..”

Letting out a soft sniffle you looked up at him, always appreciating just how much love he held for you in his eyes alone

“why, i-i’m so sad a-all the time”

“because i love you. it doesn’t matter if your angry, happy, sad it’s part of you, i love all of you no matter what, and i am not going anywhere”

Charles leaned forward, pressing his lips to your forehead letting you have a minute to just digest everything he was saying

“pinky promise?” you asked softly, holding your pinky finger out which brought a soft smile to his face

“pinky promise baby, always.”

Nothing else needed to be said as you curled yourself further into his side, his arms only tightening on you, as if to keep you from slipping away from him. Charles knew words only helped so much, but he was willing to do whatever it took to bring you blue skies back. Even if it took days or weeks, even months, Charles was going to be right beside you, every step of the way.

Life might be painful, but you never had to go through it alone again.

#rueswrites #ruesanswers #ruesanons<3 #ruesasks #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc blurb #charles leclerc x wife reader #charles leclerc x y/n #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc drabble #charles leclerc fluff #charles leclerc fanfic #formula 1 masterlist #formula 1 blurb #formula 1 fanfiction #formula 1 fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 fic #f1 fanfic

[lonely-lost-soul]

Day One: Mammon

Day 1: Breeding Kink

The Avatar of Greed was your first demon, just as you were his first human. Much to his other brother's frustration, he was your first pact and the first of his brothers you fell in love with. So he also considered himself your partner, which, in his mind, meant he had certain privileges involving you; mainly, Mammon felt he had a right to all your ‘firsts.’ Have them he did, first kiss, first oral experience, and of course, the first man inside you. Whenever his brothers argue with him, he never ceases to bring up that fact, even if it causes you to hit him on the back of the head. And Mammon was proud of that fact; it was his way to be greedy with you, to indulge in his sin without stowing you away in his dragon hoard. That was why when he found out you and Diavlao had been discussing the first human-demon hybrid in being born Devildom to improve human/devil relations, he almost lost his shit. 

“With the Demon Lord?” Mammon whined out, “How did this even come up!”

“He brought it up, Mammon, not me!” You argued, crossing your arms over your chest, huffing, “What did you even think I said to him? We just started dating!” 

“nuh-uh. This is not happening, treasure.”

“I know you did not just nuh-uh me.” You shot your partner a look, and he puffed out his cheeks. 

“Diavalo hasn’t even told Devildom you guys are official yet!” Mammon argued, sitting next to you on his pool table, plopping his head in your lap like a sad puppy. “And you wanna have a baby with him? HIM?”

“Mammon-”

“Like, what does he have that I don’t? I’m your first, ya’ know. I mean-”

“Mammon.” You carded your fingers through his white hair, and he ceased all talking to look into your eyes. “I’m not having a baby with Dia,” His eyes lit up like shiny gold coins, “I told him no. Especially because we just made ourselves official. If we said yes, we would’ve skipped like a thousand steps in a new relationship, plus-”

“And cause he’s totally lame, right, and not hot at all. Okay, maybe a little hot his tits are like so much bigger than yours.” Mammon rambled, reaching up and squeezing your breast for emphasis, and you shot him a dirty look. He smirked, “Honk,” he squeezed it teasingly, and you sighed at his antics. 

“No idiot. I told him no because I want to have a baby with you first.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Mammon jolted up, hand still on your boob, “You wanna have a baby with me.” You swore if he had a tail, it’d be wagging, “and not the Demon Lord? All mine?”

“You’re making it weird, Mammon…” you couldn’t hide the smile from spreading across your lips, “but yeah, I promised you, didn’t I? That you’d be the first to everything. What do you say,” mused watching as horns fizzled onto his forehead “Want to be the first to make me a mommy?”

“Fuck yeah, treasure.” Mammon flipped you over so your back was pressed against the cool pool table. His wings spread behind him as he pinned you against the table; you hummed pleasantly, laying your hands against his chest, nails tapping on the buttons. 

“Off puppy.” 

“Yes, ma’am!” Mammon barked, unbuttoning his top and tossing it aside, flexing his muscles, keeping an eye out for your reactions. It seemed optimistic as you eyed him hungrily, tongue sticking out of your bottom lip, “You too, treasure. Wanna see my pact mark.” He purred, leaning down to nip tenderly at your ear. He felt your chest move with a soft giggle, 

“Don’t you want to rip it off me?” You teased, and Mammon’s wings fluttered a few beats, tearing your top down the middle and letting your breasts bounce in your bra. It was a gorgeous black with gold accents on cups, just Mammon’s style. 

“God, look at you,” He practically pants, hand palming your breast through your bra, squeezing tenderly, “perfect for me. Perfect for my babies.” He licked his fangs as you shuddered under his touch, your legs squeezed around his toned waist. “Aw? Does that turn you on? Me talking about making you a mommy?” You flushed, looking away from him, and he tutted, pointing a painted nail under your chin, “Come on baby, tell me you want it.” 

“I want it.” You breathed, looking him dead in the eyes, “wanna be a mommy, have your babies.” And Mammon sucked in a breath through his fangs, 

“Fuck yeah, you do. That’s so hot.” Mammon grinned, pressing a kiss to the middle of your breasts right where your pact mark with him sat, and it caused you both to shudder. “Do my brothers know?” 

“No, only you. Don’t you think Levi would let me anywhere near you if I told him you’d be my first-” You groaned as Mammon’s hips ground against yours, clearly enjoying this secret between you, “Or even Asmo. Still, we would have the opposite problem, and he’d fight you for who could get me pregnant first.” You teased with a hitching breath, feeling Mammon’s hand unclip your bra with ease, moving his mouth to take a nipple in your mouth. You moan, hands grabbing onto his horns, and he visibly shuddered under your hands, groaning around your bud. 

“Just imagining these puppies even bigger, as they fill with milk, is making me so fucking hard.” Mammon grinned, sucking marks onto the swell of your breaths, causing you to moan sweetly and squirm. 

“Stop teasing me.” You argue, tugging on his horns and pulling him away from your breasts; he tossed his head back with a deep groan, arms and body visibility quivering.

“Stop the pulling,” He growled voice low and gravely, 

“Why? You gonna cum?” You purred, rolling your hips against his prevalent hard-on, causing him to moan again. 

“Stop being a brat,” He hissed, but you both knew he didn’t have the same bite that Lucifer or Satan did when commanding you. So you just smirked, sliding your hand down Mammon’s low-rise jeans and cupping his heaviness gently. “S-Shit treasure come o-n-” A simple touch, and you have the Avatar of Greed in the palm of your hand, literally. You could practically see the tongue lolling out the side of his mouth as you worked him out of his jeans, “I’m gonna fuck the shit out of you.” He panted, kicking his pants to the side while sliding yours down and ripping your new panties to shreds. 

“Mammon! Those were new!” 

“You look better this way anyway.” Mammon mused, flicking your clit expertly with his fingers, causing you to twitch and suck in a breath through your teeth. “Shit baby, you’re so wet for me; you really wanna have my baby huh?” He slid his long fingers into you, and you moaned, your back arching off the table hotly. 

“Yes. Yes. Yes Mammon. Please fill me up; I want to feel you stretching me to my limit.” 

“Fuck yeah. Fuck baby,” He panted, sliding down his underwear messily, his cock springing free. You always loved his cock, it wasn’t overly large, but fuck was it thick and filled you up just perfectly.  “Lemme put it inside,”

“Do it.” You demanded, skipping the usual foreplay between the two of you; the atmosphere was too hot and heavy to skip to the main event. “Make me scream.” Mammon didn’t need any more encouragement as he slammed his entire length into you and screamed you did as nails dug into Mammon’s broad shoulders. His eyes were flared in greedy hunger, taking in the sigh of you taking his cock so well, relishing how your walls fluttered around him. 

“So tight, we’ll fix that right up,” Mammon groaned, consumed by lust. “Gonna pump you so full you’ll be dripping with me for days, and if none of my seed takes this time,” he slowly pumped his hips in and out of your body as the sound of skin on skin slapping filled the room. “We’ll fuck as many times a day it takes till you’re swollen with my litter,” He purred. Sticking his tongue out and licking a hot stripe up your neck, the room filled with your sounds of pleasure. “I know how much of a slut you are; how many of my babies do you want in you? Cause now that we’re getting started, I ain’t stopping.” He teased, hearing your whines pick up as you moved your hips in rhythm with his own. He could see the outline of his cock as it bulged inside you; he pressed down on his cock inside you, causing you both to moan loudly. “My little golden whore,” Mammon mused, kissing your lips and swallowing your moans with his mouth and tongue. Mammon felt the way your breathing began to hitch, “You close?” He watched you nod rapidly drool pooling out of your mouth, “Damn, I fucked you stupid, huh?” He snickered, and you moaned louder as he began to piston out of you at a much more aggressive rate. You could feel the tip of his cock brush against your cervix, begging for entrance into your fertile womb.

“MAMMON!” 

“That’s it. Say my name as you cum,” He hissed, watching your pact light up in a golden yellow. Your walls clenched around him like a vice grip, legs locking him in place as you tossed your head back in gorgeous ecstasy. Seeing the sight alone had Mammon howling and biting into your neck as he spilled inside you, pump after pump of his seed filling your womb full as you babbled nonsense against his chest as he purred. “Good girl did so well for me,” He whispered, peppering kisses over your forehead. “You’re gonna make such a good Mommy.”

#x reader #fanfiction #x you #romance #x y/n #reader insert #obey me mammon #obey me x mc #obey me x reader #mammon x reader #mammon x mc #mammon x you #mammon x y/n #mammon smut #obey me smut #obey me shall we date #obey me #kinktober 2023 #kinktober #nsft writing #smut

[peachesofteal]

ok i have a question- for the dead disco fics, if there was a situation where ghost had to choose between reader and soap, who would he choose? idk why im thinking abt this LOL

Hey babe, what is wrong with you? (I love this so much it scratches my angst brain just right) Why do you want to feel this pain? (I too, want to feel this pain...let’s indulge)

Ghost x Soap x female reader Dead Disco - verse AU - not canon to the actual story. Warnings-tags: Angst. Inferred character death. Darling's usual (eating issues, depression, anxiety, despair, self destructive behaviors)

The bed is too big, as it always has been. As it always was before, and during. And as it always will be for now on, too. Your legs spread across it, kicking and swishing across pristine sheets like you're swimming in them, like you're drowning. Drowning, is more apt. Drowning is more akin to these feelings that swimming, certainly. Drowning is how you feel right now, smothered in your loss, lungs full of water, burning from the salt of your own tears. You're at the bottom of the ocean, lost beneath where the sunlight doesn't reach, far beyond the swell of the waves. Drowning is what it feels like, when your heart clenches in your chest and your stomach heaves it's bile free. Drowning is how you would describe this black, bottomless hole that's developed soul, the one that pulls you deeper and deeper with every breath. Drowning. You've drowned. And no one was there to pull you to shore. To safety. No one was there to save you.

"I'm home!" Your bag falls to the floor with a thud as you toss your keys on the island, loosening your jacket and heading towards the dining area of the flat. "Holy shit, wait until I tell you about my day. My boss was on one today, she was being a crazy a-" the words die on your tongue when you finally look up and see the expression on Johnny's face. At first glance, one might call it grim, but for those who know him, who know to look closer, you see the red ting to his eye lids, the rub of drier skin around his nose. He's been crying. "What's going on?" you ask, looking from him to where Simon sits, stone faced. Immobile. Neither of them answer you at first. "Hello?" The knot that's been loosely tied in your stomach tightens. Simon nods at the free chair next to him. "Sit, darling."

There are two boxes, in your bathroom. They sit, full of things, clothing, items, trinkets, pieces of memories, pieces of love. They idle next to your bathtub, waiting, watching you, every time you drag yourself towards the toilet to vomit, or whenever you muster up the strength to look at your toothbrush. The boxes have sharpie scrawled across them, big loopy letters that almost look like mouths, almost look like they could grow teeth and talk to you, or eat you alive with what's inside of them. You supposed, they could. If you were to open them, and actually look at the things inside, they would consume you. Chew you up. Spit you out.

"I- I don't understand." You take a half step towards Johnny, who visibly flinches, face torn fractured with despair, while Simon's lips press into a hard line before he speaks. "We will make sure you're taken care of, we-" His voice is cold. So, so cold it scratches at your heart, pin pricks of icicles working their way beneath your ribs. "Stop." you shake your head, willing yourself to focus. What is he saying? What does he mean? "Simon, what... wh-what does that mean?" "Darling we're so, so sorry." Johnny's voice, is the opposite of cold. It's molten. Hot, and burning red with orange, thick with something you think is sadness. "You are sorry." You repeat it, numbly. You're not crying, which is a surprise to yourself and probably the two of them too. Your brain is really working now, hard. It's compartmentalizing and organizing and shoving little things away, burying others beneath mountains of sand and locking memories into boxes that you'll never be able to open. "You can't. You can't just leave me... you... you promised." Simon stands completely still, while Johnny shifts his weight nervously, fingers tangling with one another as he watches you like a hawk. Like a solider. "This will be better... for everyone." He tries to soothe you, tries to calm you, even from where he lurks, five feet away. Simon offers you nothing. "I don't understand, everything was fine. I thought... we were okay." Simon finally moves, shaking his head with a no while you watch, mouth ajar.

The boxes have been ripped into tatters now. They lay in shreds across the things in the bathtub, covering two t shirts of Johnny's, a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie of Simon's. Your silk bathrobe, and giant fleece blanket from the couch. There's also a book, a collection of photographs, a few pieces of jewelry. Worn index cards with recipes on them, Johnny's mum's, and a comic book, that Simon used to keep in his drawer of the bedside table. The final touch is the secret pack of cigarettes, the ones Simon used to keep in the closet, sans the one in your mouth. You inhale it slowly, breathing in the tobacco and the nicotine and the fumes of the lighter fluid, the entire contained dumped onto of the collection of things in the tub, waiting for your final flick. When it comes, you stay perched on the edge on the bath, barely interested, unmoving, as the fire rages. As it consumes.

"You fucking promised!" You scream. You scream it over and over until your throat is hoarse and Johnny looks panicked. Simon grips him roughly, sliding him half behind his body, as if to protect him from you. As if he thinks you'd hurt him. They both watch you with stricken faces, hunters tracking a wounded animal, and your breaths come in short bursts as tears track down your face. "You said you love me." It's barely a whisper, mournful and slow, and they both hear it. "We do." Johnny croaks. "We did." Simon counters, and you flinch. "But this is what's best, for all of us. It was always going to be him, darling. You've known this." It was always going to be him. It was always... going to be Johnny and Simon, over you. It was always going to be them, and not you. The truth stings, burns, bites. It twists it's wicked claws around your heart and tugs and tears until there's nothing left. You've known this. You idiot. How could you possibly believe, in the end, you'd still be in this equation? You'd still be a part of this? How could you possibly believe, that after everything, they'd still love you? Still want you? Simon's mouth moves, but you hear no sound. You hear nothing, as you turn on your heel and barricade yourself in the bedroom. You hear nothing, as they knock, and knock, you hear nothing, until the wood stops vibrating, and the front door open and closes with a final thud. It was always going to be them. You've known this.

"Bloody hell." Gaz whistles, eyes locked on the screen. Johnny wipes a towel across the back of his neck, mopping up the sheen of sweat that lingers there while Simon saunters through the rec room doors. "Christ. Didn't ya two live near there?" "Live where?" Johnny frowns, looking up. There's a heli eye view of a burning building on the news, it's entire structure engulfed in flames, firemen barely making a dent. The camera switches to a ground reporter, a pretty woman with a serious face, who's explaining that arson investigators believe the fire started on the ninth floor, where there's still a single person trapped, unable to be rescued so far by exhaustive efforts. Something glitches in Johnny's brain, something short circuiting while he blinks, and breathes, and blinks, trying to wrap his mind around what he's seeing. The ninth floor. Someone trapped. Didn't ya two live near there? The ninth- It's almost unrecognizable, but he knows. Of course he knows. The ninth floor, the ninth floor- His heart stops in his chest, and he turns frantically to Simon, who stands like a statue in the doorway, eyes wide and frozen. "No. Nonononono-" Johnny whispers. He stumbles, away from Simon, away from Gaz, eyes not leaving the television while he drops to his knees. "She- Simon." Simon doesn't answer, just stands, broken. Empty. Like a ghost. He has no words. He has nothing. And neither does Johnny.

#ghost x soap x reader #dead disco #peaches asks #johnny soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #simon riley #johnny mactavish #john soap mactavish #ghost x soap #soap mactavish #john mactavish x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #johnny mactavish x reader #soap x ghost x reader

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Are you requests open yet, right?

Can you make something with Fenrys, like, him and reader are mates, and they are trying to get a child for so long, and one day they discover that they are expecting.

(I really liked your writing, and very few people write about him, so I wanted to thank you for this 💕)

Had a blast writing this truly. Thank you for requesting and the kind words, I hope you'll enjoy it. 🤍✨

Little pup

At first, you didn't talk about it. You both were still young and for the most part, had wanted to explore the world together. Just you two. Try new things. See new places. Travel. Indulge in each other's company. And the mating frenzy hit you so hard that you didn't leave your house for over a month. And by then you were convinced that everyone passing by could smell the sex lingering all around.

And yet even in that month, it wasn't about getting pregnant. Fenrys was learning how to please you and you were doing the same. It was the desire to explore that drove you. To bring each other immense pleasure. Till the last breaking point. Till the moment all you could see was stars. Till furniture was breaking. But the thought of conceiving never crossed your mind.

But it's the first time your period is late and you're feeling so weird that Aelin had to drag you to the healer's level. It's the joyful smile on the woman's face when she says, "Oh you might as well be pregnant", that breaks this bubble of cold water over your head. "How exciting would that be? Babies are so rare and to have one ahh...", the healer beams as she ushers you to lay down. You reach for Aelin's hand almost instantly. The nerve suddenly so uneasy in your chest.

And then the healer's face drops and so does your heart. Sadness washes over you and it's like you had lost something you didn't even think you wanted five minutes ago. "You started your circle, darling", she says lowering your skirt down and you just want to crawl into yourself. "Ah, yes", you quickly move to get down the table. Glad your back is to the two women as you quickly wipe your tears. Suddenly feeling so frustrated. You feel Fenrys tugging on the bond yet that only makes your heart ache more so you push him out of your head quickly. Drowsing the bond in complete darkness.

Fenrys comes home way earlier than he should have been there. And you know it's because he would always drop anything for you. High stake leaders waiting for the meeting? Fuck them! His mate needs him so he's leaving and gods save the souls who try to stand in his way.

He knows by the silence that something had happened. Something that upset you. Ticked you over. Then Fenrys smells the blood. Gears turning before he realizes that your cycle had finally shown up but why the sense of sorrow then? This feeling of pain makes him rub his chest as he too tries to soothe the aching.

"My, love", Fenrys shrugs his cloak off carelessly, stepping closer to the bed. You're completely submerged by the furs all over your body. He makes a quick work of pushing them to the side until your wet cheeks come into sight and Fenry's heart drop even more. "Love", he breathes out in worry. But that only makes your tears well up more. A choked-out sob leaves your lips before you move to push away from your mate. That jabs Fenry's heart too.

"Love, if you don't tell me what's going on...", and then this shien of anger washes over you. Painting your cheeks in even more crimson shades. "Talk to you? Talk about what, huh?", you leap at him, fist coming in contact with Fenrys's strong chest.

But then you draw your hands back, looking at them with so much disgust. Fenrys steps in quickly taking your smaller palms into his. Your mind was too chaotic for him to read now. So he had to trust you to let him in on your own time. "What is going on...", you mutter, "You're overwhelmed and your body is full of hormones", even Fenrys frown at his own words but that's the truth in a way. The question still stands though. What caused all of this? "I thought I was...", you breathe through the sobs, "Thought we had...", and then it's full-on sobs, till your legs give out and Fenrys quickly wraps you up in his arms, rocking you from time to time.

There's no way to tell how long you've been crying by the time you're only sniffling. Eyes puffy and red, holding onto Fenrys for dear life. And he had run out of comforting words by then, opting for silence and love that he poured through the bond. You push away from him slightly. Knowing full well that you owe him an explanation. Because he too would have been a part of this if you had been pregnant. Your eyes well up with tears once more as you glance at him and Fenrys is ready to cradle you once more but you stop him. "I saw a healer this morning. She thought that I might...", you swallow the lump in your throat, shoulders sagging, "might be... pregnant". Fenrys's heart jumps up his throat. Suddenly he's almost hyper-aware of his surroundings. Threats. Smells. Sounds. But then nothing. And then just like before it all falls into place.

This. All of this was because you weren't. Because there wasn't a babe growing in your womb. No little Fenrys, or Y/N. And it's almost like another slap to his face because he only now realizes that you never really talked about it. Becoming parents. Growing your family. Being together and having one another was comforting enough. But seeing you like this. "I'm sorry...", you whisper and Fenrys draws his gaze back to you. "What for love? There's nothing to be sorry for", he brushes your loose hair away from your face.

"For not being pregnant", Fenrys frown at your words. And frowns so deep that his eyebrows nearly come together. "Now you take that back", his hands cup your face, "You take that back and never dare to apologize for something like this".

And you know that it comes from his heart because he loves you. Because no matter what you do he will always be there. "What if I can't?", you ask him, biting your lip, "Then we won't have any and that will be more than enough because we would have one another", he's quick to reassure you. And once more from the way his eyes are gleaming you know that he means it. "Come here", he mutters m, bringing you back into his arms, and wrapping it up in the comfort of his warmth. Drowning out the world around you.

All of this leads to a long conversation about children. One that you share late at night, both tangled between the sheets. Let the stars and the moon be the only witnesses of your wishes and dreams. And you both know that's so rare. And something that many couples don't even get close to. Fenrys knows how he and his brother Connall had come pretty late into their parent's lives. But then what a blessing it was to have two babies. Yet the time span was what scared him the most. Not because he was desperate. Don't get him wrong he wanted to see you pregnant. Know that it's his baby growing within you. But he could tell how fragile this topic made you. How you would shiver any time someone brought up the conversation of babies. How you would halt at the sight of younglings running around in the streets. How you forced a smile once Ellide got pregnant and you had brushed away your sad tears saying that it was only happy crying.

And it's only a handful of years later. Many disappointing visits to the healers later that you jolt up in the morning rushing to the bathroom. Fenrys is out of bed just as fast, darting after you and reaching to hold your hair out of your face as you emptied your stomach into the toilet. His hands rub comforting circles over your back. Your skin looks clammy and pale and it makes Fenrys sick to his stomach as well.

Because what if all the sorrows had finally eaten you from within in? What if he had missed something? Overlooked you not eating well, not sleeping enough. Your head drops to the side, and Fenrys quickly turns you over, reaching for the tap before flickering water over your face. If an illness claimed your life... if he would be left alone...it's a selfish thought but one that has been his number one fear ever since he saw you for the very first time.

"I'm fine", you groggily say and Fenrys only huffs, "Fine my ass, you're barely conscious". Those are harsher words than he wishes that thrown your way but he's so worried. So worried his own eyes are blurry. Then he moves up quickly, you tightly pressed to his chest. "Fen, I just need to lay down", but he doesn't listen as he throws the door open. Not caring that he's shirtless, or that you are only wearing one of his shirts. He rushes down the hallway, yet he's still mindful of not shaking you too much.

The healers haven't even finished their morning preparations when he storms in, eyes wild. The healer who had been tending to you for years now jumps up instantly. "I don't know what's happening", Fenrys admits as he lowers you onto the bed. The lady presses her palm onto your forehead before cradling your cheek. "Y/N, what's hurting?", she asks softly but you only shake your head. Her mouth falls into a tight frown and she orders a couple of other healers around, turning to Fenrys so he would tell her what happened.

"When was the last time you ate, girl?", she asks strictly, fingers running over your stomach. "Breakfast", you breathe out, "yesterday". Fenrys growls in frustration. He had returned home late last night, you had already been asleep and so he never even thought about the fact that he didn't ask anyone on his way up if you had been down to eat dinner. The healer shakes her head, "Silly, silly girl. Mirth, bring the lady some light breakfast and a tart", she says even though you turn to protest. "You're with child and this is all stunt you pulled here is because you didn't eat", every sound in the room dies down. Your eyes grow big and for a moment you're sure you just mistaken her words. Surely not... but it's the way Fenrys is looking at the healer with the same surprised eyes that makes you realize that he heard it too.

"Congratulations you two. A strong heartbeat", she carefully presses her palm to your shoulder. Knowing full well that once the information fully settled in Fenrys's brain anyone that would get near the slight swell in your lower stomach would be marked an enemy. The wolf closes the distance between you two. He doesn't yet trust his words so he just leans in pressing his forehead to yours. And now that it's been brought up you do smell slightly different. And the heartbeat. How did he miss the heartbeat? What kind of father will he be if he missed his child growing inside you?

"The best kind", you mutter, "the best kind of father", your hand cups his cheek, and the white wolf instantly nuzzles closer to you. He kisses the side of your head, brushing the tears from your cheeks. "Our baby", he mumbles, pressing his palm to your stomach, "Our little pup", you put your hand over his. And then Fenrys breaks into fits of giggles as he brings you closer into his arms. You too can't help the smile even if the dizziness still lingers. And you suddenly feel complete as if this was all that was missing. Now the picture would be complete. "A father, my beautiful mate will make me a father", he beams, brushing his lips against yours in a messy kiss, but the door swings open as the younger healer walks in with a trey. The laughter stops and Fenrys is snarling at the door, teeth out. Your hands push against his chest softly, "Darling, she means no harm", you reassure him yet his eyes don't leave the poor girl now shaking by the door. "Thought you seen him protective, girl? Welcome to the next stage", the older healer chuckles as she hands you the sweet bun.

#fenrys x reader #fenrys moonbeam x reader #fenrys moonbeam #fenrys moonbeam imagine #fenrys imagine #throne of glass imagine #throne of glass x reader #tog x reader #tog imagine #rowan whitethorn #lorcan lochan salvatorre #gavriel

[bakvrue]

cw: self-indulgent after care, I nutted and got sad and here we are. Reader is me but I'll be nice and share

---

Your fingernails dig into Katsuki’s back as his cock bullies into your sweet spot over and over again. His body weight almost crushing you as the two of you kill any space in between your bodies.

It's been too long since he's been inside you, work and stress and a million other things made it impossible, but on this quiet Sunday morning, you finally have him all to yourself.

Your head swims in his scent. Every breath and every moan sends you further and further into his oblivion. And your orgasm rips through you faster than you expected. Katsuki follows, your pussy pulsing around him is too much for him, pumping you full of his cum as he groans your name into your ear. A declaration of who his heart belongs to.

You wrap your arms tighter around him as he tries to pull away, and you can feel a breaking in your heart. A feeling you recognizevery well.

"Katsuki, stay " your bottom lip quivers and you attempt to him tighter.

Your strength is no match for him, he pulls away just enough to look at your face. Your arms try to pull him back down to you but he resists.

"Princess," His voice is soft as he readjusts himself above you, moving so he's resting on his elbows and careful not to pull out of you, although he winces as your walls squeeze around his sensitive length. "I'm not going anywhere."

You nod, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, but the feeling in your chest doesn't go away and you squeeze your eyes shut.

Why does this happen? You curse to yourself as your throat gets tighter. After so long of not having him you always get like this. The feeling of being so full, so connected, gets to you. And after, all of the happy chemicals in your brain leave you with this empty, sad feeling. You don't even understand it fully, but you cling onto him tighter hoping that he does.

Katsuki kisses your forehead as a single tear rolls down the side of your face.

"Hey, look at me."

His eyes are bright, there's a flush lingering to his cheeks, and his hair is all fussed up from your hands tugging on the strands. But he's here and he's yours.

He takes your hand, playing with your fingers for a few seconds before placing your palm over the scar above his heart. His own hand covering yours.

"I'm not going anywhere. You have me, forever."

You can feel the beat of his heart under your palm. The heart that beats only for you.

Nodding, you pull your hand away, choosing instead to cup his perfectly beautiful and obnoxious face.

He worms his arms under your body, hugging you so tightly, and you wrap your arms around his neck. His body weight is crushing you again, and his cock is softening inside you. But the sadness you felt just a few minutes ago is beginning to fade.

"You'll have me for longer than forever," you whisper into his neck.

"Damn right I will."

#💕.katsuki #me n katsuki #bakugou x reader

[talesofesther]

dreams made of sand and golden waves

Eddie Munson x Reader

Summary: It's time for the yearly trip to your grandparent's beach house; this year you are hellbent on not going alone, and Eddie is just about the only person who can pass as your boyfriend. It's just one weekend, so keeping real feelings at bay should be easy, right?

A/N: aka a very cliche fake dating au with lots of domestic fluff that I indulged myself in writing. I wrote this as nothing serious and just because I really like this trope (but boy did it take me fucking long to write it wtf). Also very important to say that I don't live in the USA, so if anything about the locations in here is wrong, blame it on Google. That being said, let's take Eddie to the beach <3.

Word count: 12,6k

Masterlist

"Eddie, pleeease!" You groaned, following him around inside his trailer.

He picked up a beer from the fridge and walked back to his room, turning his head to give you a quick glance with a smirk. A Black Sabbath album resonated through the trailer from his player beside his bed. The cheap yellow lighting made his eyes glint, the brown orbs you adored now causing annoyance to surge inside you.

Eddie plopped himself on top of his worn yet incredibly soft bed, crossing his legs and taking a sip of his beer. "Sorry sweetheart, can't do it."

You heaved an exasperated sigh, resting your hands on your hips and avoiding his eyes, to look around his bedroom. His guitar hanging in front of the mirror felt like it might as well have been laughing at you, given the hole you dug for yourself. Right beside it, haphazardly taped to the mirror, was a Polaroid of both of you; Eddie's arm around your shoulders, your smile almost as big as his, the two of you on the Ferris wheel, with the light from the fireworks illuminating your faces. Eddie always loved to capture moments like these. That way they'll last forever, he'd said.

The picture brought good memories, but you forced your eyes away. You'd spent countless hours hanging out with Eddie in this same bedroom, listening to music and smoking the occasional weed to loosen up weekly nerves. You were no stranger to the posters, the VHS tapes, and the mess, yet now your anxiety made the room feel a little suffocating.

"Please Eddie, it's just one weekend." Your voice leveled out in a steady tone.

The half-full beer bottle was discarded to the floor. Eddie looked up at the ceiling with his lips parting in a sigh, before he let himself fall back on his bed, his head hitting the mattress. Deep down he knew he'd never be able to deny you anything.

The mattress dipped as your knees came to rest on top of it, you slowly crawled your way to him. Laying down beside him with one hand under your head, you fixed your eyes on his profile. You followed the line of his nose to the curve of his lips, gripping the bedsheets so you wouldn't reach out.

Eddie turned his head to look at you. "Your family is not gonna like me, y'know. Why does it have to be me?"

"Because," you pursed your lips, "everyone is going to be there, all my cousins and aunts. With their plus ones. And I can't be the only sad loser who's still very much single and alone." You picked at the sheets, avoiding his eyes. "I can't stand another year hearing the 'when are you gonna find someone, Y/N?' questions with that pitiful look on their faces."

"You're not alone." Eddie reasoned.

Ever the charmer, you thought to yourself. His words made you chuckle lightly. "Sorry, I know I have you. And…" Biting the inside of your cheek, you said in a lower tone; "no one here knows me better than you do Eddie, you know that. If anyone is gonna make it believable when pretending to be my boyfriend, it's gonna be you."

Eddie could feel his mouth drying up just by hearing the words, his heart picking up a quicker pace. Pretending. That word would be haunting him forever.

How was he supposed to hold your hand, kiss your cheek and keep you close without it meaning anything?

How was he supposed to go back to being your friend — best friend, most important person in the world, as you liked to call it, yet friend nonetheless — after living through the one thing he wanted the most?

He'd be driving a knife right into his chest. And yet, for you, he'd do it smiling.

One thing he knew though. He wouldn't have to pretend to be head over heels for you.

"Okay."

You pushed yourself up on your elbows, wide eyes glued to him in excitement. "Really?"

Eddie sighed loudly, running his hands over his face. He peeked at you through his fingers. "Yeah really, whatever. You'll owe me big time."

Next thing he knew you were throwing yourself on top of him, momentarily knocking the air out of his lungs. He held you back with a huff, already smiling at the affection you gifted him with. His arms encircled your waist, while yours closed around his neck between his soft hair and the bedsheets.

"Thank you, Eddie. I'll make it up to you, I promise." You breathed out against his skin. Relieved out of your mind that you wouldn't be alone in that beach house. "You have no idea how much this means to me."

Eddie's lips parted as he stared at the stained ceiling, feeling a distant sting in his eyes. He gripped the fabric of your shirt, focusing on the comforting weight of your body atop his; instead of the fact that he'd be condemning his poor heart in just a few days.

_____

It was a yearly family trip, you could go as far as to say it was a tradition. Everyone coming together in your grandparent's beach house in Porter, for at least one weekend. The place was beautiful, and you had countless unforgettable memories there from when you were younger; however now, the trip was starting to become a day you didn't exactly look forward to — especially after moving to Hawkins, going back to your hometown usually only made you miss it more once you had to leave again. And you loved your family, but naturally, they could be a little too much sometimes, especially your aunt Kathy, who was your typical matchmaker.

Having Eddie with you would be a relief, not only because you wouldn't have to hear the incessant nagging about when you'd find someone, but also because he would quite literally be your source of comfort.

After loading up everything you'd need for the weekend, you drove up to Eddie's trailer. Parking your car beside his beat-up van, you got out and walked up the stairs to the front door, not bothering to knock before getting in, he knew you were coming.

Wayne looked up from his place sitting on the couch when you walked in, a beer can in his hand. "Hey Y/N."

"Hi Wayne, how are you?" You smiled.

"Good," he nodded, and a smirk appeared on his face, he tilted his head towards Eddie's bedroom, "so you're finally making it official then?"

"Ha ha." You humorlessly faked a laugh, feeling your face heat up. "Don't start, it's just a stupid family gathering that I don't wanna go alone to."

"You kids always finding excuses." Wayne raised an eyebrow at you with a teasing look, that you chose to ignore, making your way to Eddie's bedroom.

Eddie was rummaging through his wardrobe, a deep frown on his eyebrows. He threw a black shirt on his bed and you noticed that he already had a small backpack with clothes there.

"How's my other half?" You teased, sitting down on his bed. You picked up the shirt he just tossed there and folded it neatly.

Huffing out a sigh, Eddie turned to you, now with a pair of grey sweatpants in his hands. His hair, you just noticed, was tied in a low bun; you always loved this look on him.

"Trying to find beach clothes… that I don't have."

"Spring has just started Eds, we're not gonna swim, don't worry." You grabbed his backpack, curiously peering inside to see what he was taking.

Eddie sat down beside you, clutching the sweatpants to his chest. "You think that's enough?"

You chuckled, leaning towards him and snatching the pants from his hands to fold them and tuck them in his bag. "I think you're worse than me when it comes to packing."

His unamused look made you smirk. You closed the zipper on his backpack and raised a hand to his face, flicking away a loose strand of hair that had fallen on his eyes. "It's perfectly enough, and we should be leaving already."

You got up from the bed pulling a strap of his bag over your shoulder, not seeing the way his cheeks reddened with your touch.

Eddie followed suit, stuffing his hands in his pockets and giving his bedroom one last glance over to make sure he wasn't forgetting anything.

"My parents already left yesterday to get there earlier. We're going with my car," you turned to him, walking backward and to the living room, "you're driving." You threw the car keys to him, which he scrambled to catch mid-air.

After saying goodbye to Wayne and tossing Eddie's backpack in the back of your car with your own bags, you were finally on the road to Porter Beach. The drive was a little long so you stopped by a gas station to grab a few snacks.

About one hour of driving, and you were munching on a cereal bar, feet resting up on the dash. Most of the way there was through a beautiful countryside, green fields surrounding the highway as you avoided going through any city's traffic. You were looking out the window, enjoying the low tune of a Bon Jovi tape you insisted on playing.

Lazily turning your head to the side, your gaze settled on Eddie. He had one hand resting on the wheel while the other held a can of soda, his eyes focused on the road ahead. You felt your lips curling up in a smile. He looked handsome, it felt right to be doing this, casually going out of town with him to meet your family. For a moment you forgot it was play pretend.

"So um- what are the ground rules?" Eddie's voice brought you back down to earth, making you frown.

"Ground rules?"

"Yeah, I mean, what we can and can't do. What are the boundaries of this relationship?" He shot you a suggestive glance with a toothy grin.

You rolled your eyes, stretching your arms above your head before throwing away the empty wrap of your cereal bar. "Well, we just have to pretend while we're with them so… holding hands, the occasional cuddle, those things. It's pretty straightforward, just like any other relationship you've had I guess."

Eddie promptly fixed his eyes back on the road, biting the inside of his cheek and gripping tightly onto the steering wheel. "But I don't… Just- just give me some pointers alright? What are you comfortable with?"

"There's not much to say, Eddie. You just kind of roll with it, and I'm sure whatever you're used to will be fine by me too, I trust you." You lean your head on the back of your seat, looking at him and taking notice of his tense shoulders. Whole body, really. "I mean, you've been in a relationship before, right?"

Eddie clenches his jaw, eyes looking anywhere but you as he grumbles; "you know I didn't." He didn't know why it bothered him, it's not like you'd judge him. But a little embarrassment still twirled in his stomach. And Eddie wasn't an idiot, he knew how couples behaved, but not having any experience in the matter still made him worried about crossing your boundaries; worried enough to step out of his comfort zone and ask.

"I know you didn't in the two years I've known you, but… before that?" You inquired tentatively.

Eddie's face twisted in a mixture of a smile and grimace. "Not many people are interested in dating the town's freak, I'm afraid."

His voice dripped with sarcasm but you could see the hint of hurt underneath, the loneliness. It baffled you though, how no one had had the privilege of knowing him like this. No one but you. The thought sent a shiver down your spine and you suppressed it just as fast as it came.

"It's alright, I know you'll make a great boyfriend." You smiled, poking his arm to bring a smile to him as well. "Just do what your heart tells you."

With your words, Eddie's heartbeat sped up. He cleared his throat and tried to sound casual with his next question; "what about kissing?"

That had you chuckling. You finally looked away from him and watched the road in front of you. "I guess we'll have to? At least some pecks here and there, otherwise they'll see right through it. If you're okay with it. I mean, what couple doesn't kiss, right?"

Eddie pursed his lips, gulping down the feelings clawing at his throat. "Right."

As you reached town, Eddie started following your instructions to get to the house. The town was pretty, and in some ways, reminded Eddie of Hawkins.

He ended up driving to a secluded neighborhood, and as he sped forward, fewer and fewer houses started to appear; until he reached the end of the road, and there, facing Lake Michigan, stood a big, white wooded house. It had two floors and a run-down stone path that lead to its entrance, surrounded by a few patches of grass, and a few coastal trees, but mostly light-colored sand that blended with the house nicely. And as Eddie parked the car beside the house, he noticed that some of the white paint was wearing off, certainly a teller of how long the house had existed. Yet despite its age, the house still looked well taken care of, fancy. It stood on a slight hill, giving them a perfect view of the beach ahead.

Eddie was quiet as he took in his surroundings, slowly pulling the key from the ignition when your car was settled beside the other two already parked there. Sometimes, he forgot how different your world was from his. Rich parents, fun childhood, big family. In moments like these, he was reminded of it.

"Here we are," you said quietly, eyes fixated on the house you practically grew up in. "I swear this place never changes." You opened your door with a soft click and the coastal wind filled your nostrils, making your hair fly. You turned to Eddie before stepping out.

He spoke before you could, hands still gripping the steering wheel. "You know, sometimes I forget that you're-"

"Don't say it." You cut him off.

"Rich?" With a raised brow, Eddie finally peeled his eyes away from the house and the waves washing to shore, and looked at you.

"Stop it, Eddie," you huffed, "for the last time, all of this," you gestured to the white house, fresh sand and seagulls that flew by in the distance, "belongs to my grandparents, not me."

Eddie squinted his eyes at you, pushing his door open as well. "It does belong to you, at least a little."

Rolling your eyes at his stubbornness, you climbed out of the car and pushed the door closed. The golden glow of the setting sun was warm against your skin, you took a moment to watch the way it blended in with the crashing waves, taking in a deep breath of the air that still tasted as fresh as you remembered it.

Eddie leaned his elbows on the roof of the car, about to ask if he should already take the bags but biting his words back when he saw you. The sunlight highlighted your profile with an orange glow and made your hair shine. Eddie could feel the air leaving his lungs and not coming back. This would be a long weekend.

You opened the trunk of your car and you and Eddie picked up all your bags. When you closed it again, you noticed the dark blue BMW parked beside you. You groaned, "shit, aunt Kathy is already here." With one hand you held onto the strap of your backpack whilst hooking your other arm with Eddie's, pulling him with you towards the front door. "Last time we were here she tried to pair me up with one of the surfers her son is friends with. He wasn't bad looking but… such a douche."

Beside you, Eddie hummed, subconsciously pulling your body closer to his. He took a quick glance down at his black jacket and ripped jeans. "More and more I'm kinda feeling like I won't be exactly the guy who fits in with your family, sweetheart."

You looked up at him with the ghost of a smile, watching the way his brown curls flew in front of his eyes and he tried to blow them away. "You fit in with me, that's good enough right?" The words slipped from your tongue before you had the chance to weigh them. Eddie turned his head to you, and you didn't let yourself think if the pink on his cheeks was from the sunlight or something else. "And you know, my parents adore you. They were thrilled when I told them about us." You finished quickly.

Eddie halted on his feet and pulled you along with him, his eyes comically wide. "You told your parents we're- we're…"

You chuckled and avoided his eyes, adjusting your backpack over your shoulder. "Of course I did, I had to, they're here too."

"But, what happens when we go back to Hawkins?"

You hadn't thought that far yet, but you pursed your lips with a smile and urged Eddie to continue walking. "I don't know but we'll think of something until then, say it didn't work out or whatever, and we're back as just friends."

Sand got inside Eddie's sneakers as he dragged his feet toward heartbreak. The thought of you and him not working out stung.

You stopped in front of the wooden door, reaching for the handle but hesitating. "You ready… boyfriend?" You chanced, smile teasing but tone anxious.

Eddie gulped, his lips parted as he looked at you with the most gentle eyes. "Nah man."

You nodded. "Me neither, let's go."

The front door opened with a quiet creak, allowing you the full view of inside the house, which hasn't changed much either since last year. The walls inside were cream colored, with a very open floor plan downstairs — joined kitchen and living room, that had a colorful couch and bamboo chairs for the dining table — and huge glass doors that lead to the porch facing the beach and the wooden stairs that made the path down to the sand.

In the living room sat both your parents, your aunt Kathy and her husband, uncle Arthur; and your grandmother, Louise, who got up as soon as she caught sight of you and Eddie.

"Y/N darling, you're finally here."

You gave her a big smile, letting your backpack fall to the floor and letting go of Eddie — who, you noticed, took half a step behind you — so you could hug your grandma. "Yeah, it was a bit of a drive, but we're here."

She let go of the embrace only to cup your face, squishing your cheeks as she always did. "Oh it's been so long, you've grown so much. How are you?"

Your parents, Kathy and her husband were now standing behind Louise with smiles of their own, waiting to greet you.

You chuckled. "I'm okay grandma, really, and it's good to be back." Gently prying her hands away from you, you blindly reached a hand behind you and grabbed the sleeve of Eddie's jacket, pulling him to stand beside you. "I want you all to meet my boyfriend, Edward."

Eddie, feeling a bit self-conscious under all the eyes fixed on him, managed a tight-lipped smile and a quick wave. "Hey, you- you can call me Eddie. It's a pleasure to meet you all."

"No need for introductions darling." Kathy squeezed her way through the rest of your family and towards you. "Your mother has been telling us all about you two the whole afternoon."

"Aw shit." You mumbled under your breath, biting back a chuckle when your aunt pulled Eddie in for an unexpected hug.

She came to you next, keeping and arm around your shoulders as she said; "I'm so happy you found someone."

"Yep," you forced out a laugh, mindlessly intertwining your fingers with Eddie's, "I did."

After exchanging greetings with the rest of your family — including your grandpa; and your cousin Sean who came back from the beach dragging sand everywhere and earning a scolding from his father, Arthur — you found yourself alone with Eddie on the porch facing the beach, or, as alone as one could be through glass doors and a full living room.

"Aunt Jane will be arriving tomorrow morning, I think she couldn't get off early from her job today." Sitting on the wooden railing, you swing your legs back and forth. "She's a bit more easygoing than aunt Kathy." You extended a hand for Eddie to take, and when he did you pulled him closer and between your legs, letting your arms rest on his shoulders.

Eddie tensed with your touch, his brown eyes searching your face as his hands hovered just above your waist. He read your look quite quickly; 'play along'. Carefully, Eddie allowed himself to embrace your waist, praying you wouldn't hear the thundering of his heart. He kept his gaze over your shoulder and in the darkening sky above the shoreline.

You sneaked your hands up his neck and through his hair, mindlessly messing with his curls. Eddie closed his eyes momentarily, hearing the muffled voices from inside the house, the clattering of plates as they set the table for dinner, the crashing of waves, and the leaves rustling with the cold wind. He knew already, that going back from this, from having you, would be difficult.

"They like you, you know." You gently pushed away strands of hair that were in front of his eyes, watching the way his gaze lazily met yours. "I knew they would."

It was true, you heard your mother earlier, whispering quite loudly to your aunt; "always attached to the hip those two, no wonder they're together, took too long if you ask me."

And to which your aunt answered; "he's not what I expected for her, but I have to admit, they are adorable. And what a kind young man, so respectful."

"They're just being nice," Eddie mumbled, his fingers fidgeting with the hem of your hoodie.

You furrowed your brows at that. "No, they're not. I know my family, they wouldn't have a problem in letting it show if they don't like someone, in one way or another, especially aunt Kathy."

Maybe you were right, maybe Eddie could belong here. But he looked away and made the bold move of resting his chin on your shoulder, almost flushing your chest to his, with his hands holding your back so you wouldn't fall; because getting attached to a fake reality would be too hard of a blow in the long run.

And you didn't say anything else, feeling your skin prickle with goosebumps where he touched you. Closing your arms around Eddie's shoulders, you realized you'd never noticed how good it felt to hold him this close. Stop it. You told yourself. He's just playing his part like you're playing yours. It doesn't change anything.

The glass doors opened with a quick motion, making you and Eddie snap your heads towards the sound. Your father peeked his head through, sporting his 'kiss the cook' apron and with a spatula in hand. "Dinner's ready, you two. Come on in."

Everyone sat together at the table, talking loudly and passing bowls of food between each other. Eddie felt overwhelmed, but in a weirdly good way, with your family talking with him as if they'd known him for years.

"Edward, tell me a little about you. How'd you meet my niece?" Kathy asked excitedly from her end of the table.

Eddie gulped down half of the orange juice in his cup, his knee going up and down as he looked up at her. "We um- we met at school, right after she moved to Hawkins." He shifted his gaze from your aunt and to you who sat beside him, lips parted with uncertainty.

When you were about to step in and say something, you noticed his eyes softening. He focused on you and let the other people around fade out. With a soft breath, Eddie continued; "she stood out from day one, I- I couldn't understand how someone as amazing as her had ended up in Hawkins, of all places. I just knew I had to meet her."

Your hands became sweaty, and you couldn't hold his gaze. His words were too genuine for a made-up scenario, so you followed his lead shamelessly; "he was my first friend there, part of me knew we'd end up together, I think. He's been an easy one to love… from day one." The words grew quieter, you tilted your head and glanced at Eddie with a soft smile.

She doesn't really mean it. Eddie kept repeating inside his head, for the sake of his heart. But as you looked at him with a love that felt so true, his mantra started to become blurry.

All Eddie managed before going back to his food was a shy smile back.

Dinner went on as if nothing happened, the only one to mention how pure the young love was, was your mother.

Being tired from the long trip, everyone went to bed early tonight. You and Eddie ended up settled in your old bedroom in the house, now being generically furnished with a small bookshelf, a wardrobe, a desk, and a double bed in the middle.

You closed the bedroom door and leaned your back against it, huffing out a sigh.

Eddie, who was holding all of your bags, stood in the middle of the room. "Where should I…"

"Just leave them in the corner there." You pointed to the space beside the wardrobe. It wasn't worth unpacking everything only for the two nights you'd be staying.

You pushed yourself away from the door, grazing your fingers over the dusted books on the shelf. Some of them you knew, some had been your favorites growing up. You could feel Eddie's eyes watching you. "it wasn't too bad, right? Them and… us?"

Shifting in his stance, Eddie took off his jacket, leaving him in only a dark red Metallica shirt. He attempted to run a hand through his hair, his fingers getting caught up in loose tangles. "Not too bad, I think we'll manage to pull off our roles just fine." Despite the sour taste the words left in his mouth, Eddie shot you a teasing grin; "I do like to have a pretty girl to call mine for a change."

The warmth on your cheeks was instant, you chuckled, "don't get ahead of yourself, Munson." You pointed a finger at him and walked to your backpack, starting to search for pajamas to keep your hands busy.

"Uh, I'm gonna take a shower, you can go after, okay?" You glanced up at Eddie through your lashes.

"Yeah, sure."

Eddie busied himself with snooping around the room until you come back. Eventually, on the bookshelf, beside the old books, he found two portraits. Eddie picked them up with care, running a thumb over the images. In one of them, you and your whole family stood on the beach, with the big white house in the background, you were younger, maybe not older than seven and the smiles on all your faces were genuine. The other portrait was a picture of only you, maybe two or three years older than on the other picture, you held a plastic shovel and had a huge smile that missed one tooth, the beach water reaching up to your waist as you played in it. Eddie found himself smiling, they looked like happy memories.

"Oh no, you've found the relics." You walked back into the room, still drying your hair with your towel.

"I was hoping I'd find some ugly baby photos of you here." Eddie raised a brow, putting down one of the framed pictures. "These aren't so bad though. You really did grow up here huh?"

"For the most part, yeah. The house was big enough, and when I was around six my parents decided it was more worth splitting the bills, back then at least. And it's nice for a kid to grow up by the beach. Their words, not mine." You draped your towel over the desk chair, ruffling your damp hair with your hands. "And it was. Nice."

"Hmm, yeah." Eddie glanced down at the picture of the younger you in his hands, momentarily wondering what it would be like to grow up in a place where happiness and love surrounded him. He then held the picture up with a teasing grin; "where did all this cuteness go though?"

Your lips parted in a 'how dare you' way and you narrowed your eyes. "Fuck you." You giggled, walking up to him and snatching the portrait from his hands, pushing him to the door. "Go take a shower, you stink."

"I do not." Eddie joined in with a chuckle of his own, smiling big with the familiar teasing.

"Two doors to your left, pretty boy. Go on." You threw a clean towel on his arms and raised a hand to mess up his hair, just the way you knew always made him pout.

Eddie walked out and into the hallway with a permanent smile attached to his lips. The easiness with which you showered him with affection made his heart skip a few beats.

Closing the bathroom door, Eddie pulled his hair in a high bun to avoid getting it wet; it was a nightmare to sleep while his hair was still damp and even he wasn't able to tame it in the morning when it happened. He had to admit, the house was a pleasant place to be in, it had a natural homey feeling to it, and your family wasn't as bad as he was picturing them to be, he'd never felt so welcomed so fast. Part of him was already dreading the feeling though, all the more reason for it to hurt in the end.

The warm water of the shower was a relief against his skin and soothed his tense muscles. But he had been working almost on autopilot since you both arrived, and now, with the water hitting the tiles being the only sound, his mind had time to catch up. It was so easy for you to take his hand and pull him to you, to flush your bodies together as if it was nothing.

"Jesus, man." Eddie breathed out, splashing water on his face and keeping his hands over his eyes for a second. He doesn't think it could ever be nothing.

When he exited the bathroom all the lights in the house had already been turned off, he kept his hand clued to the wall to guide himself as he walked.

Eddie opened the door to your room slowly, cursing under his breath when the wood creaked quite loudly. He threw his clothes from earlier into a pile on top of his bag and just… stood there; in the dark room, with the only light being from the moonlight coming in through the window.

You were already laying down, covers pulled up to your chin. Eddie swallowed. You'd never discussed sleeping arrangements. He picked at his fingers, worrying his lower lip with his teeth; should he just lay down beside you?

After a beat, you answered for him, apparently feeling his worry all the way from under the covers. "Just get in here, Eds."

"Right, right," Eddie mumbled and scrambled his way to the bed. He made sure to keep a good distance between you two. His hands twitched to reach out for you, but he settled on watching the outline of your back until sleep overtook him.

_____

Saturday dawned with the sun shining right on your face, you nuzzled into your pillow to hide from its light; the pillow that felt weirdly warm under you. And you hugged the covers closer to yourself, except they definitely didn't feel like covers.

With your eyes still closed you scrunched your eyebrows, and when you felt your body being squeezed, you finally peered them open. Somehow during the night, you and Eddie apparently bundled together in the middle of the bed. Your body was almost fully on top of his, with your head resting on his chest and arms loosely around his waist. And Eddie had his nose pressed to the top of your head, snoring softly, his arms snuggly around you.

For this early in the morning, your heart definitely shouldn't be beating this fast. Yet his body was so goddamn warm and soft under you that you wondered if it was too selfish to allow yourself at least five minutes of this bliss. Waking up cuddled together without knowing where your limbs started and his ended could be excused for the sake of fake dating, right?

It was dangerous, you knew that, you felt it in the way Eddie mumbled something in his sleep and subconsciously tightened his arms around you; it was the one thing you tried to suppress the hell off when his warm brown eyes made your stomach fill with an annoying flutter of butterflies. But in the seclusion of the bedroom, under the first lights of sunrise, the worry felt insignificant.

Until you heard the clatter of plates and the muffled voices from downstairs; seagulls singing on the beach announcing the start of the day.

You gently ran a hand over the faded Dio print on Eddie's shirt, before trying to push yourself up and away from him. Try being the keyword, because his grip on you didn't budge in the slightest.

"Shit." You mumbled under your breath as you were squeezed back against his chest. You were hoping to separate your body from his before he woke up and noticed what happened. Apparently not.

You cleared your throat, turned your head up to look at him, and called quietly; "Eddie."

Nothing.

"Eddie, come on." A little louder.

Nothing.

"Ugh, dude." You grumbled. "Eddie! Wake up!"

His eyes shot open with a start and landed on you instantly, his hands gripped onto you before he let go completely as if you'd burned him. "Shit, shit, shit." He was all stiff limbs and warm cheeks because he'd just woken up with you in his arms, and it wasn't fair how pretty you were this up close.

"I- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to- christ, I'm sorry."

Eddie's rasp morning voice sent a shudder down your back. You finally moved away from him and to your own pillow. "It's alright, don't worry, it was my fault too," your mouth hovered open, you shifted your gaze, "I just needed to get up and… Yeah."

The tip of Eddie's fingers — his whole body, really — was still prickling from having you so close. He missed the contact immediately. "Sorry." He said one more time for good measure.

You waved off his worry as if it was nothing, getting up from the bed and making your way to the bathroom to freshen up. Except it definitely wasn't nothing.

When you walked back to the bedroom, Eddie was already dressed up in dark grey sweatpants and a red flannel shirt. He turned to you when he heard the door open, and you had to stifle a laugh because his hair was all over the place. The sunlight coming from the window made the wild strands shine and look golden.

"Jesus Eddie, you're not going downstairs like this, sit." You told him with a smile, pointing at the bed.

He chuckled, one hand automatically going up to his hair. "What, you don't like it?"

"You know I do, but," you mindlessly reached for his hand and sat him down on the mattress as you stood in front of him, "just let me tidy it up a bit."

"And ruin my metal look?" Eddie clasped a hand over his chest.

"Drama, drama," you mumbled, running your fingers over his fringe and then the soft strands that framed his face.

Eddie closed his eyes, his shoulders relaxing. Slowly, his forehead dropped to rest against your abdomen as you worked your hands through the curls on his head.

It went unsaid just how much Eddie loved when you'd mess with his hair, it was a secret you kept close to your heart. And if you kept massaging his scalp for a minute longer after you were done, no one needed to know.

You walked down the stairs with Eddie behind you, your family was in the kitchen, starting to prepare breakfast, and you got down just in time to see your aunt Jane arriving. Stripes of sunlight were coming in through the windows and glass doors, bathing the wood in golden as a soft breeze came from the shoreline.

"Aunt Jane!" You called with a smile, skipping down the last steps of the stairs and pulling the older woman into a hug.

"Y/N, it's so nice to see you again." Jane pulled away, her hands still gripping your arms as she looked you up and down with a fond smile.

"Auntie, I want you to meet my boyfriend, Eddie." You said excitedly, turning to Eddie, who stood by the stairs, and making grabby hands at him.

"Boyfriend huh?" A new voice mocked.

Samantha, Jane's daughter, walked through the front door. Glossed lips pulled in a devilish smile and manicured hands held onto her purse and her boyfriend's fingers, who stepped in behind her. Much different from her mother, she wasn't the most pleasant person to have around — the tension between you and her was innocent, for the most part, coming from years ago ever since she used to steal your toys and go cry to her mother when you snatched them back.

You tugged Eddie to your side, intertwining your fingers with his with a proud tilt to your head. "Yeah, all mine." You raised a brow and felt the way Eddie's eyes snapped to you. "Hi Samantha, made a lot of children cry on the way here?"

"And I thought you wanted to be the lonely cat lady of the family." Samantha chuckled, earning a stern gaze from her mother.

Suddenly, your own mother materialized beside you and pinched your side, mumbling a "behave" to you through the gritted teeth of her overly sweet smile. She always advocated for peace in family gatherings. You couldn't blame her.

"It's uh- a pleasure to meet you." Eddie cut through the light tension, not knowing what else to say. But apparently, it was the right thing, because you and Samantha shared only one last glare before you were pulling him towards the kitchen.

"What was that about?" Eddie asked — close to your ear in a whisper that made the hairs on your neck stand up — when you stood side by side in front of the kitchen table.

You took in a breath, picking up four slices of bread to make sandwiches for you and Eddie. It was muscle memory to make them; butter, ham, and cheese for you, and only ham and cheese for Eddie. "We don't exactly get along. She's a stuck-up princess who likes to pick on me." You shot him a quick grin. "That's family for ya. Could you get us some coffee?"

Eddie chuckled, softly shaking his head. "Sure." He mumbled and leaned down to give your forehead a kiss before making his way to the counter near the sink, where the coffee machine was.

He poured two cups, one black and the other… Eddie looked around him, searching for the milk. Kathy stood only a little far from him, leaning on the isle and drinking from her own mug, talking to Louise about something regarding a paint job for the house.

Eddie raised a hand to the back of his neck, feeling self-conscious about talking to your family on his own. But before he could make a fool of himself, someone appeared beside him.

"Here you go, son." Your grandfather, Christopher, Eddie believed his name was, handed him the milk with a kind smile. "I gather that's what you're looking for."

With a sheepish smile, Eddie took the milk and thanked the man profusely, feeling his chest blowing up with warmth for the kindness.

He poured the exact amount you always did for your coffee and walked back to the table, taking his seat beside yours.

You turned to Eddie and gave his hand a quick squeeze as a thank you, setting his sandwich on a plate in front of him.

"Look who decided to show up." Arthur walked in through the porch doors, flip-flops covered in sand in his hands. He gave Jane a side hug with a smile.

She raised a hand in mock surrender. "I know, I know, should've been here yesterday. But I couldn't get off work and Sam was at a birthday party." She explained, throwing all her bags on the couch except for one. "But," out of the plastic bag in her hands, she carefully pulled out a tray, "I come bearing gifts."

Your face lit up with a smile upon seeing the neatly made cake, the recipe was Jane's specialty and your favorite.

"You are totally forgiven." Your father, who had been making himself waffles, ditched the food and made a beeline for Jane's baked sweets, already trying to take a piece and earning himself a soft tap on the shoulder from your grandmother as she looked at him disapprovingly.

Eddie chuckled beside you, and you turned to him with a smile of your own. "I absolutely love this cake she makes, you'll have to try it."

"If you say it's good, then I trust ya." Eddie took a bite of his sandwich, bread crumbs sticking to his adorable smile.

Breakfast went as it always did in the beach house, everyone sitting at the table and talking loudly about three things at once, passing food and drinks between each other, and making plans for the day.

One detail diverged, however. Samantha seemed to take an interest in Eddie's life, asking questions about what he did and what he liked, looking at him with a certain hunger that made you clench your fork to the point the metal was almost piercing your skin.

Fake or not, for this weekend Eddie was yours. And the jealousy that blossomed in your chest when Samantha reached out to tap his forearm almost made you haul yourself over the table to squeeze her throat.

After breakfast you decided to finally head to the beach, the air outside was chilly, but the sun was out as well, making the day perfect for a walk on the warm sand. You talked Eddie into borrowing your father's flip-flops and walked hand in hand with him down the wooden stairway. The steps creaked under your weight, they lead you all the way from the porch, down the slight hill, and finally to the beach. Near the house there were a few grass patches amidst the sand, along with a thin wooden fence, that had already crumbled in a few spots, leading you near the water.

The beach was mostly empty at this time of year, save for a few passersby and ambitious surfers.

Your fingers were loosely hooked with Eddie's, he was swinging your joined hands back and forth, his eyes stealing glances down at the way his feet buried in the thin sand as you walked.

You, on the other hand, were stealing glances at him. At the way he sometimes stumbled on the uneven ground, at the way his hair flew wildly with the coastal wind, at how the sun kissed his skin the same way you caught yourself wishing to, and at how he looked like he belonged here; with you and with the glistening water framing his profile.

You two ended up making your way to a local bar, the only one near the house. It wasn't big, but it made up for its size in the way it was built. The place had no walls, allowing everyone a full view of the crashing waves just ahead. A few tables were scattered underneath the roof and in the back stood the little booth that served the drinks and a few snacks, everything smartly decorated with the coastal theme.

"You want something to drink?" Eddie asked as you leaned against one of the pillars. His cheeks and nose were starting to take on a red blush because of the sun.

"Yeah I think so, we can drink while walking back." You smiled, absentmindedly running your thumb over his knuckles.

Chatter coming from one of the tables caught both yours and Eddie's attention, you turned around to see Sean, your cousin, talking loudly to some of his friends.

Eddie turned back to you and somehow his cheeks had gotten even redder, he mumbled an "okay", before leaning in and planting a tender kiss on your forehead. He made his way to the bar, fidgeting with the wallet in his hands, not bothering to ask about your favorite drinks; he knew it by memory.

You realized then that you weren't wrong, Eddie made for a great boyfriend.

"Y/N? Is that you?" An excited voice called for your attention.

You turned around and were met with the sight of Duncan, one of Sean's friends who just so happened to also be the boy your aunt tried to set you up with. He trudged his way towards you, sporting a long sleeve white shirt and shorts; and save for the shirt, he was soaked, causing the sand to cling to his skin and his blond hair to stick to his forehead and neck. You wondered if he was immune to the chilly wind.

"Hey, yeah it's- it's me." You raised your hand in an awkward wave, sparing him a tiny smile as he stopped a bit too close for comfort.

"I was hoping I'd catch you around, been a while since you've come here." He leaned a hand against the pillar behind you, causing you to take half a step to the side.

You stuffed your hands in the pockets of your pants, shrugging your shoulders. "Yeah, I usually don't come here more than once a year. Just for the family trip and all."

"Well I must say then, you've only gotten prettier since last year." Duncan smirked, leaning in towards you so he could speak in a lower tone; "you should definitely drop by more often."

You looked aside to take a breath, already growing annoyed. "I don't think that's likely, it's a long trip and I can't afford to leave work much often."

Duncan nodded slowly, "I could keep you busy here too if you'd like. What do you say we try again? Wanna go out tonight?" He was about to raise a hand to touch your cheek but halted in his movements.

"Got you your favorite, sweetheart." Eddie's voice washed over you like a fluffy blanket on a cold day. He was quick to swing an arm around your shoulders, squeezing gently and pulling your body flush to his.

The warmth was welcoming, undeniably comfortable and you were baffled by how safe he made you feel. You leaned into him, sneaking your own arm around his waist until you reached the pocket of his sweatpants by his hip.

"Thank you, Eds." You said quietly, not necessarily for the drink but reaching out for it anyway. Standing on your toes, you planted a kiss on his jaw.

"Hey dude," Eddie raised his chin towards Duncan, "I'm Eddie, her boyfriend." He made sure to accentuate the words, causing you to suppress a chuckle.

Shuffling on his feet, Duncan backed away from you. "Right, nice to meet you, man." He nodded awkwardly and turned to you, "I'll head back to Sean, see you around Y/N."

You waved him goodbye with a tight-lipped smile. When the blond was out of earshot, you let out a relieved sigh, leaning your head back into Eddie's arm. "Thank you for the save, really."

Eddie chuckled, taking a sip of his beer and pulling you along towards the shore and away from the bar; his arm steady around your shoulders. "No one's allowed to make the moves on my girl, even if she's fake."

You bumped your hip into him, laughing along, both your feet kicking the warm sand. "Told you you'd make a good boyfriend."

The walk back to the house was pleasant, you drank and talked with Eddie with the same easiness he always made you feel. Once the cans were empty and discarded, you and Eddie spotted a crab — who hid in its hole as soon as you approached — and then began the match of who could spot more crabs. Both of you ended up with the ends of your pants soaked, only thinking of rolling them up when the damage was already done.

But you couldn't care, because the sun was shining and the waves were crashing to shore. And you were both running like little kids, burying your feet in the sand and splashing water into each other. And you thought of Eddie's saying about pictures and moments, because you wanted today to last forever.

When your family's house came into sight, you were walking with your flip-flops in hand, lazily moving your feet under the water when the waves reached you.

Eddie followed beside you, avoiding most of the waves. There was a soft tilt to his lips, a permanent smile because he was happy. You made him so unbelievably happy, and as you looked at him then, meeting his eyes that were already on you; with the sun shining behind you and glistening onto the water, making you look heaven-sent — just like that, hair all over the place, skin flushed and clothes in a mess of sand and water — Eddie was not surprised to feel as if he was in a daze, in the most addicting high.

You extended a hand to him, fingers stretching to reach him. He did the same, his fingertips grazing yours, feet just out of reach from the waves; knowing he'd never risk his feelings getting in the way of this.

Five more minutes of walking and you were in front of your house, you stopped, feeling the waves crash to your ankles and bury your toes with wet sand. Eddie stood in front of you, with one hand trying to block the sun shining on his face and the other in his pants pocket. The tip of his nose and the outline of his lips were red from the sun. You wanted to kiss him.

Your gaze shifted from him and up to the porch of the house, you saw the outline of two people whispering in each other's ears, no doubt Samantha and her boyfriend talking shit about you. You knew she was doubting your relationship, or, you felt like she was; and the way her gaze kept searching for Eddie earlier really made your blood boil. So maybe it was a little bit possessive of you, but two birds one stone, you thought, and took the bold move.

You walked up to Eddie, not giving him much time to process what was happening before burying one hand in his hair and pulling his lips to yours. The kiss was gentle, testing the waters. Until you felt Eddie tentatively place his hands on your waist, bringing your bodies together as he angled his head to deepen the kiss. His nose bumped yours, his lips much softer than you imagined.

Pulling back slowly, you breathed air back into your lungs. Eddie was looking at you with those chocolate eyes of his, his lips parted and so inviting, his hands warm on your waist but still making you shiver. He was suddenly too close, the air too hot.

You separated your bodies, instantly mumbling an apology and; "we kind of had an audience." You pointedly shifted your gaze to the porch and the two people watching.

Eddie could only nod, the air still stuck in a lump on his throat because holy shit; you kissed him.

You squeezed his hand as you walked past him and towards the house. And Eddie stood there for a minute, his lips tingling with the remains of your taste, tears prickling the back of his eyes because for a second, for a fleeting moment where the world faded and all he could feel was you; it felt real.

Something shifted between you and Eddie after the kiss. Each touch felt heavier, each stare lasted longer. You wondered if there was a way back from the lines you were crossing in your friendship. You wondered if you wanted a way back. If you were still pretending at all.

Eddie stayed back at the house when you, Jane, and your mother left to go to the market — you kissed him goodbye before leaving, just a touch of lips that barely lasted a second, but already made your knees go weak — they wanted to grab a movie to watch tonight and you convinced them into picking The Shining, wanting to choose something Eddie would like.

As dusk settled over the beach, popcorn was made and a spare mattress was laid in front of the TV so the living room could accommodate everyone. You, Eddie, and your grandparents took the bigger couch, your parents and Jane took the smaller one, and Kathy, her husband, and your cousins were sitting on the mattress. All the lights on the house were off with only the TV on and you were starting to regret your choice of movie.

Eddie handed you the popcorn bowl, the scenes on the TV casting light over his eyes and making them shine. "Was it your mom who chose the movie?" He asked quietly, only for you to hear.

You squirmed beside him, tucking your knees closer to your chest, feeling a pit of anxiety in your stomach as the movie went on. "It was me." You mumbled back.

"You?" Eddie raised an amused eyebrow. "You hate these movies."

"Yeah…"

"Why would you-"

"I wanted to pick something you'd like, okay? Sue me." You interrupted him, avoiding his eyes and handing the popcorn bowl to your cousin Sean.

Eddie kept his gaze on you, the movie turning into background noise. You were making it really hard for him to not love you more than he should. His lips quirked up, watching the way your nose and cheekbones were highlighted by the TV. Eddie wanted to kiss you again so bad.

"You're something else, sweetheart." He said more to himself than to you, and brought an arm around your shoulders, squeezing your body against his.

You briefly closed your eyes when you felt Eddie maneuvering your body to his. You tucked yourself comfortably beside him, nuzzling your head on his shoulder.

When the movie finally came to an end, you were basically dozing off on top of Eddie. Your head on the crook of his neck and an arm sprawled across his lap, while he lazily played with your fingers.

When Kathy turned off the TV, Eddie looked down to see Sean drooling on the mattress and Samantha trying to wake up her boyfriend; Eddie stifled a laugh at that. Your grandparents had already excused themselves to bed, and Jane and your mother were in the kitchen tucking away the dishes from earlier. The house was silent and dark, save for the clattering of plates and the single light near the sink. Not even two days had gone by and he already felt like part of the family.

Eddie's lips grazed your hairline as he tried to look at you. Your breathing was starting to even out and your eyes were closed, most of your weight now laying on Eddie.

He was about to wake you up when the voice of your mother called out to him; "Eddie dear, can you come to help me out for a moment?"

"On my way." He glanced over the back of the couch and answered quietly enough to not wake you. With overly careful movements, Eddie separated his body from yours, managing to lay you down on the couch gently.

"Just put these up there for me would you?" Your mother instructed as he reached her, handing him the stack of porcelain plates and pointing to one of the higher cabinets above the sink.

Eddie did so with a smile, earning him a squeeze on the forearm from your mother and a warm smile of her own as she made her way upstairs.

"It's Edward, right?" Jane leaned back on one of the counters, dish rag in hand.

Eddie turned to her, fidgeting with his rings. "You can call me Eddie."

"Eddie, I just wanted to say, I'm happy for you two." She told him genuinely, and when Eddie frowned, she clarified; "you and Y/N."

"Oh," he felt his face warm up, "uh- thank you."

The older woman chuckled, she had fondness on her eyes as she stared out the window, listening to the waves crashing to shore. "What I mean is, she looks happy with you."

The words made Eddie's heartbeat skyrocket, hearing it from someone else made it feel real. And to hear he made you happy brought goosebumps to his skin.

"The last two years, ever since they moved away, she hasn't been the same. She was quiet, withdrawn, you know. Moving to a new town, and even more so far away from the place you were born, sometimes is hard." Jane explained with a faraway look in her eyes. "This year is the first time that I feel like she is really here, back with us. She looks happy. And I feel like a lot of it has to do with you. I'm glad she found you."

Eddie's words were stuck to his throat, he tugged at the ends of his shirt, taking in everything she said. He'd never been a part of someone's happiness. It felt good. It made his eyes glisten and vision blur. "I- all I want is to see her happy." The words tumbled out before he could think them through.

Jane pushed away from the counter, smiling at him. She landed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed before going upstairs as well.

For a few minutes, Eddie was glued to that same spot in the kitchen. He raked a hand through his hair, pushing back his fringe and making some strands stick up.

After gathering some semblance of composure, he walked back to the couch and crouched down to be at eye level with you.

Your cheek was pressed to the couch and one of your arms hung loosely from the edge, your fingertips grazing the wooden floor. Eddie deeply wanted to have his camera with him.

Raising a hand to poke your cheek, Eddie woke you up.

"Hmm no." You grumbled, opening your eyes to peer at him with a disapproving look before burying your head on the couch with a grunt.

"Come on, sleepy head. Let's get you to bed." Eddie was having none of your poutings, he easily put his hands under your arms and lifted you up to a sitting position.

You unenthusiastically slapped his hands away, trying to run your fingers through your mess of hair. "Ugh, you're mean, y'know." Eventually, you got up and started to walk up the stairs to sleep properly on the bed.

"Shut it," Eddie argued back with a smirk, walking closely behind you in case you'd stumble, "you love me."

You sighed, reaching for the doorknob of your room. "You know me too well." You thanked the heavens that you'd both showered earlier because you'd definitely be sleeping without it if you hadn't.

Unceremoniously, you threw yourself on the bed. Eddie followed soon after turning the lights off.

Shuffling under the covers, your hand found grip around Eddie's shirt. "Come here." You mumbled. And you would be blaming all of it on your sleepy brain in the morning, but right now you were tired, and Eddie was warm and comfortable.

"Hm?"

"Just come here, Eds."

"O-okay okay, coming." Praying for you to not feel his thundering heart under your hand, Eddie hugged you close, allowing you to rest your head on his shoulder again.

Eddie's lips parted with shaky breaths. The hand he had around your waist grazed a patch of skin, courtesy of your pushed-up shirt. He shivered. This felt way too intimate.

But you were relaxed, one arm draped over his abdomen as if you'd done this countless times.

Eddie closed his eyes and allowed himself to feel it too, nuzzling his nose into your hair and tracing random patterns over your stretched arm.

"You know, they can be a bit much sometimes but… but I like your family." He said quietly, not above a whisper in case you were already sleeping.

"They like you." You told him, voice wobbly, slipping in and out of consciousness.

Several beats passed, and your breathing evened again. Moonlight bathed the room, and Eddie's eyes had already adjusted to the darkness.

"Maybe we could try this for real sometime." He whispered, quieter than before. A plea thrown in the open for no one to hear anymore.

Tomorrow would be your last day here. Tomorrow you'd be going back to Hawkins.

_____

Sunday was a quiet day in the beach house. You woke up the same way as the day before, with you and Eddie in a mess of tangled limbs.

You knew Eddie had woken up before you, being able to feel his fingers absentmindedly messing with strands of your hair as your eyes opened for the first time in the morning. You didn't say anything as you snuggled up closer to him, and he didn't say anything as his arms tightened around you.

Part of you knew you'd have to talk about it, eventually. Because you'd be going home later today. And an even bigger part of you was dreading the talk; the one that would end whatever it was that happened in the last days.

Sunday was a day for relaxing, always has been. Everyone knew it was the last day in the house, everyone already woke up with the bitter taste of goodbye on their tongues.

But you enjoyed the day until the last minute;

Before breakfast, when Kathy and her husband asked if you'd like to accompany them to the nearby market. You enjoyed walking the familiar streets with Eddie's fingers loosely intertwined with yours, telling him a few stories of when you were growing up here.

During breakfast, with everyone sitting together at the table, already making plans for next year's gathering.

And when, as it also could be considered tradition, the whole family went for a walk on the beach. Feet burying in the sand and splashing the water of the waves.

You basked in the utopian feeling of sitting together on the porch, watching as the sun started to descend over the water ahead, painting the sky orange and pink, turning the waves golden. And Eddie was always there, with you, and it felt so right for him to be there.

Your parents had already left about an hour ago, having work early tomorrow morning and with the drive not being a fast one, they didn't want to arrive in Hawkins too late.

Seagulls were flying by, their singing mixing with the crashing of waves on the shore. And the sun was only getting lower.

You sat on the railings of the porch with Eddie in your arms, standing between your knees. It reminded you of your first night here, just two days ago, and yet it felt like so much had changed. Eddie was talking with Sean, one of his hands was around your waist and the other moved around enthusiastically as he said something about DnD.

There was no telling how things would be once you were back in Hawkins, once the whole couple facade was broken. Anxiety was hot in the pit of your stomach, all because of the grave you dug for yourself. How naive, to think you'd be okay after having a taste of what it would be like to call Eddie yours and then having to let him go.

Twirling a curl of his hair on your fingers, you took a last glance over the beach. You only noticed the bouncing of your knee when Eddie laid a hand on top of it, calming down the movement.

Sean was long gone, and from the look on Eddie's eyes, he has been watching your profile for a while. "You okay?" He frowned.

You pursed your lips. Suddenly, you felt like crying. "Yeah, fine." You swallowed once, then took in a breath. "We… we have to go, Eddie. Or we'll get home too late."

Eddie's lips parted, he had words on the tip of his tongue that he bit back, instead settling for; "yeah, you're right."

He helped you down, his hand gently holding onto yours, and with that, you intertwined your fingers with his one last time.

Ever since you moved to Hawkins, today just might be the day where it hurt the most to throw your bags in the trunk of the car to leave the beach house, you weren't expecting to have enjoyed the trip so much.

You bid your family goodbye with a tight hug to each of them, laughing as your grandmother squished Eddie's cheeks and told him how much of a good boy he was. And just like that, you were on the road again.

The car's engine rumbled to life, Eddie turned it around in the driveway and towards the street. You kept your eyes on the rearview mirror, watching as the white wooded house got smaller and smaller in front of the setting sun, the hands of your grandparents happily waving goodbye.

Rolling down your window, you allowed the coastal air to fill your nostrils, extending an arm out the window to feel the wind. You tipped your head back against the seat, closing your eyes.

Unbeknownst to you, Eddie switched his gaze between you and the road ahead. His eyes followed the line of your eyebrows and the curve of your lips, with the passing shoreline as background. Part of him wanted to ask what happens now? But the moment felt too delicate to be broken. He turned on the radio instead.

Around the halfway point of driving back, you and Eddie decided to stop at a gas station to pick up some snacks and fill the gas tank. It was dark already, insects were gathering under the artificial lights of the gas station. Only two other cars were there, from people with rather tired looks on their faces, — Eddie noticed, as he walked side by side with you to the convenience store — travelers too, no doubt.

There was a stray dog there, caramel in its color, who came to both of you with its tail wagging. You kneeled to pet him and Eddie followed suit; it was all casualty and routine, none of you mentioning the huge elephant in the room.

Inside, you went rummaging through the bags of chips whilst Eddie scanned the freezers for the drinks.

When he had both soda cans in hand, Eddie made his way to you. Without so much of a warning, he slung an arm around your shoulders, pressing the ghost of a kiss to your hairline in a moment of heart overtaking brain, before saying; "found that one you were telling me to try out, let's see if it's any good." He wiggled the can in his hand.

The bag of chips on your hands nearly popped open with the way you squeezed it, a shiver running down your spine with Eddie's affection. Your words tumbled out of your mouth before you could stop them. "Uh we're not at the house anymore, Eddie, there's no need to pretend here." You forced out a chuckle, if anything, to try and cut through the tension looming around you.

Eddie had never pulled himself away from you so quickly. He gulped, his eyes looking anywhere but you as he shifted his stance. "Shit, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. I- I forgot." He grimaced, shaking his head.

"It's alright. No biggie." You mumbled back, hating yourself for making it weird. It was never supposed to be like that, Eddie has always been affectionate, even before this whole ordeal, why did it suddenly feel like… everything had more meaning?

You made a beeline for the bored cashier, desperate to have something take your mind off of the situation.

The cold from the soda cans on Eddie's hands was starting to pierce his skin and make it sting. He watched your quick steps away from him, watched how you took a piece of his heart with you and made the remaining one inside his chest bleed.

You and Eddie walked back to the car in silence, each one holding a bag. Only as you were about to open the passenger's door, that Eddie extended a hand to graze the skin on your wrist, it was enough to hold you in place and get you to reluctantly turn to him.

Eddie licked his lips, fumbling with his rings in anticipation. "Look, I'm- I'm sorry if I ever made you uncomfortable these last days. It was never my intention, I promise, I wouldn't-"

"Eddie no, you-" you stopped him, because the way his chocolate eyes were glistening under the street lights made your throat feel tight. Boundaries be damned, you thought to yourself, it's not like we haven't gone way past them already. You took his hands on yours, brushing his knuckles softly. "You could never make me uncomfortable, okay? Never. I'm just… a bit bummed that we're leaving, that's all."

In a haste, you brought one of his hands to your lips, planting a tender kiss on his fingers and mumbling; "don't worry." You managed a reassuring smile before getting into the car. A smile that Eddie saw right through.

It was already late at night when you arrived at Forest Hills Trailer Park. Eddie parked your car a little far from his trailer, you didn't comment on it.

The night sky was gloomy, several clouds hiding the stars. There seemed to be some kind of gathering happening on one of the other trailers, you could hear excited voices and music flowing through the air.

Gravel crushed under your feet as you exited the car, ready to help Eddie take his bags inside; but he didn't let you, he jogged his way around the front of the car and to you.

"Y/N, can we… talk?" He half extended a hand towards you, giving you the chance to let him in or push him away.

Seconds felt like hours as you stared at his outstretched hand, until you finally took it, fingers lazily hooking together, the folds on your skin fitting with his. Eddie pushed himself up on the hood of your car, sitting there and pulling you between his legs, close enough that you had to lay your hands on his waist. A smile tugged at your lips at the familiarity.

You avoided his eyes though, keeping your gaze on the belt loops of his pants you were playing with.

With a gentleness most people wouldn't believe he was capable of if you told them, Eddie traced the outline of your jaw, urging you to meet his eyes. "What's wrong, sweetheart? You've been quiet ever since we left the beach house."

You bit onto the inside of your cheek until you tasted iron, the beginning of tears pooling on the bottom lid of your eyes. "I'm sorry, Eddie. I- I never should've asked you to do it." You choked out.

He frowned at your words, the hand he had on your waist pulled you closer in an attempt of comfort.

"Going there, with me…" You elaborated. "I feel like… it might have been a mistake."

Eddie gulped, his lips pulling thin to stop their trembling. "A mistake?"

"Last thing I wanted was for this whole fake dating thing to get in the way of our friendship." You brushed the sleeve of your hoodie under your nose, sniffing to hold back your tears.

Chances were; you were feeling awkward about being around Eddie now, or — and he took a leap of faith in even allowing his brain to conjure up the thought — he might just be lucky enough that you feel the same way he does.

Holding tight to every last bit of courage inside him, Eddie took a deep breath, pushing strands of hair behind your ear; "were we… ever faking it?" His voice came out much quieter than he intended. "Or- or did I just imagine what we had? Because it felt real sometimes."

The last of his words came out in a breath, big brown eyes tearing up under the cheap lighting of the trailer park the same way yours was, looking at you with blown pupils; and at that moment, you realized there would never be a reality in which you wouldn't fall for him.

Your silence made Eddie's hands fidget with your hoodie. He squirmed in his seat, heart in his throat. "Because, I think I'd like it to be real."

The air in your lungs left you in a breath that didn't come back, and you were glad Eddie was holding you because your legs just about turned to jelly. "You serious?"

Eddie chuckled, a fond smile on his lips. "To be totally real with you, I wasn't faking any of it."

You tugged at the collar of his jacket, moving closer and leaning your forehead to his. You smiled when Eddie nuzzled your nose with his. "Neither was I."

Eddie's cheeks hurt with how big his smile got, his eyes crinkling on the sides. "Then, I'm guessing we won't have to tell your parents we're breaking up?"

Pulling away with a smile of your own, you lifted a brow. "That's what you're focusing on?" A stray tear dropped from your eye, now more in happiness than anything else.

Eddie brushed it away with his thumb in a gentle touch, pulling you in to lay a kiss on your forehead. He was buzzing with happiness, his heart light with joy and affection. He closed his eyes for only a second, lips still grazing your skin, to take in the feeling of finally, truly having you.

He pulled away but kept his hold on you, a boyish grin on his face. "Oh and, you know, the fact that maybe I can call you my girl for real from now on? No biggie."

You gripped his thighs and tilted your head with a grin, leaning your body closer to his. "You may."

Eddie didn't waste a second in pulling you in for a kiss, he was all passion and neediness, with a tight grip on you as if you'd go away if he let go.

The metal of your car was cold against you as you leaned a hand on it, the other going up to Eddie's head and burying itself in his curls. His lips were soft, tender, and perfect. It tasted different, kissing him for real.

A kiss that was soon broken by shared giggles, by the way Eddie hugged your body to his and gently swayed you both from side to side.

You wouldn't have to fake break up with him after all; and who knows, maybe next year, when you both drive down to the beach house as a real couple, this can be a funny story to tell over dinner.

⋆* ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Thank you for reading this story. This one also took me weeks of writing, rewriting, and editing, so feedback and reblogs are very much appreciated so I can keep bringing you these stories. <3

Eddie’s taglist: @milkiane @bookfrog242 @alicefallsintotherabbithole @boooil @science--hoes @cherrypieyourface @tssf-imagines @daph-505 @astream-ofconsciousness @fentyreligion @fantasylovestoryme @justabeautiful-letdown @crazyrapunzel @yessica41 @dancing-hillary @bakugouswh0r3 @hehehehannahthings @jakebasement @zervopoulouu

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#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson #strangerthingsedit #stranger things #eddie munson x you #imagine #fanfic #fluff #angst #eddie munson fanfic #eddiemunsonedit #joseph quinn #stranger things x reader #st #my story

[thephantomsdream]

So I just have this idea in mind about a meet-cute with our dearest John.

[Notes: I am writing this at work, and it is raining, and no, I have no costumers, and yes, it is self-indulgent because why not. We're just vibing and dumping cute stuff with some spell-checking, but I could've missed something so I do apologize for that. No use of Y/N or Reader in this one.]

Imagine it's raining where you are right now and you work dealing with customers somehow, yeah? Anyway, John is in the city for work, as always, and he coincidentally entered your workplace. He's smitten, not gonna lie. I see him as the type of man to know, you know? Hell, he'll look at you and you'll also feel the want too, the way he's seizing you up, almost as he is planning how to slowly kiss you. I swear you can feel his warm and rugged hands running over your body, but you have to act professional because he's hot and you're most likely looking too much into things.

But you're actually not, yeah? He smiles at you, a little small smile, blue eyes flicking between your eyes and lips. And god, he fucking looks into your soul. If you have time to talk to him, he'll definitely ask you about yourself while telling you some things about himself, vague but enough to satisfy curiosity. It's also raining, meaning you don't have many costumers, so the conversation goes and he runs it smoothly. It's effortless, the way he talks to you and makes you comfortable. Yes, definitely, you can tell he's flirting with you, but contrary to some younger men, he's calm, he's not pushy, although he is a little in your space. Just a little intense, and you can tell he's like that all the time. Close enough for you to smell his cologne, close enough to hear his voice rasp as he finishes his sentences as he's a little bit distracted by your lips. When you notice and smile, he does too, naturally, happy to get a good reaction out of you.

But everything stops when he gets a message. His lips purse and he grunts, shoving the phone in his pocket and smiling at you, disappointment in his eyes. He sees you get busy as a client walks in, a little sad he has to leave and can't even say goodbye properly, but he reaches for something in his pocket.

"I insist. You said you didn't grab one when you left home, yeah? Take it, love." He says, pushing his damp umbrella in your hand. It was velvety and sturdy, and his hand brushed yours in the right way. Not too much, but enough to get an idea of how warm he was.

"John, really, you don't have to do this. How will you go back?" You'd question.

"Nonsense, I have my coworkers waiting for me close-by and afterwards I won't need it anymore." He did say he'd have to leave the city, showing no sign of wanting to ask you about... anything, really. No number, no proper full name, no social media. Maybe it was just meant to be a very pleasant conversation with just a costumer. It didn't help that you couldn't bring yourself to ask either.

You accept bashfully, smiling at him when he seemed relieved and happy to have you take his small gift. You then wished him a good journey to wherever he's heading. And good luck with everything.

It did look like the man wanted to say more than a simple "Thank you, dove." but he stopped himself with a nod then headed out. Basically rushed, honestly. It did throw you off, how interested he was and just how fast it suddently finished.

Rain stopped not long after and you didn't need the umbrella that day, ending up at home, put away somewhere safe. At least you got a good quality umbrella out of this ordeal, yet you couldn't stop thinking about him.

That story now behind, spring came full force and the rain did not come back until almost three months later.

Weather app lied, it seems, as you glanced outside the store and saw zero rain, and you sighed, having carried your (new and fancy) umbrella around with you all this time. As your eyes studied the outside scenery, someone walked through the front door and you already plastered your "Welcome, dearest costumer" smile when it faltered a little in surprise as you recognized the man that entered rushing in the store. Of course you would, as if you stopped thinking about him. As of today, you were slowly starting to think less about the mysterious John, having to accept that he was just passing by and that you were a little encounter in his busy life. But he was here. In your store. Again. Looking for something. Or someone...

Rushing through the door, almost out of breath, he scanned his surroundings in a milisecond to spot you already watching him. The relief was prominent on his features, making you feel excited? He looked relieved to see you, then he immediately looked a little hesitant, unsure. As if his legs brought him there before he could think it through, although it didn't take long for him to smile at you.

"Been a while, yeah?" God, his voice was even better slightly breathless.

You eagerly get to talking again, his chest puffed and his back stood straighter when you easily told him that of course you remember him because how could you not, really? Conversation was just a tad awkward, him searching in your eyes for something while trying to play it cool.

He pointed out the entrance with a small nod of his head and smiled as you both watched a few shy droplets of water finally hit the dry floor, seconds later it starting a downfall. His eyes locked back onto your face and he asked a simple "I trust the umbrella's been handy?" and to that you smile, explaining how you never got to use it but coincidentally, it was now hanging out in the back with your purse, since finally it was supposed to rain again (Weather App redeemed). To that he just looks at you, expression morphing from shock, to relief to amusement.

He had this way of commanding a room, having people wait for him to react and this would be the first time you'd notice a quirk of his as you yourself held your breath, seeing he was about to say something. He'd take a sharp breath, tilt his head and take a small step forward when he was going to say something intense, something from the bottom of his heart and guts.

"Would I be a fool to ask you on a date, love?" He'd swoop the the rug under your feet with that and continue. "Because I was a fool once to try to act subtle and I almost missed my chance." He laughs at something, something that will turn into a light-hearted joke between you.

As you stutter a yes, you also ask him what he meant. You weren't an idiot, he was interested few months back, but he never made a move, not even a subtle one, just rushed out. Just like that. Poof.

Funny, huh? How he slipped his number on a small piece of paper in the umbrella, thinking it would be cute for it to fall out as you open it. Also, he didn't want to bother you anymore at work, specially since you already had some costumers and he already took so much of your time. (They could've waited, but whatever. Ugh, that mindful dumbass.)

The first time you made him stutter was exactly after he explained that to you, as you raised a brow at him and asked. "What if I used the umbrella in a rush, in pouring rain and I'd never see the piece of paper fall?" It was indeed a question he surely asked himself afterwards a couple of thousands of times in the dead of the night, berating himself for it, yet he still didn't have a good answer for that, hence the stutter and the absolutely fucking adorable shade of pink painting his cheeks for a couple of seconds there.

The way John sees it is that he spent two months waiting for a message, a call, anything. He sometimes couldn't attend his phone but made sure that the number he gave you was always available, even if he couldn't answer immediately. Hell, he even pulled through missions faster to come back to base and look at the device and be greeted with disappointment. It took him a few weeks to accept that you weren't going to contact him and acceptance started to hit, although John can't really let it go before thinking of all the what-ifs imaginable (after some more weeks of sulking silently), so of course he checked the weather in your area after he left you. And of course he saw that in fact it did not rain again, yet he couldn't be sure if it rained that same day, and if it did, how much. Records weren't that clear in your specific area.

He needed to know if you found the paper or not. It was all he had to know. John Price was left stumped and in need of answers. Answers he came to get because John Price knew the moment he saw you that it would be too good to let go.

You had to check yourself, it didn't matter that it was at work with him there. You went back, grabbed the umbrella and opened it, and surely enough, with his observant eyes studying every single one of your movements as he followed right behind, you watched in fascination as a small piece of paper fell swaying side to side in its descend, as if mocking you.

"00xx-xxxx-xxxxxxx"

"I'd love to hear from you again. Call me anytime. John."

As you'd tell this story to anyone who asked you two how you met, you'd roll your eyes at John any single time. He called it fate, said the wait was worth it to see you watch that paper fall out of the umbrella, meanwhile you ways end up calling him an idiot. Lovingly. For such a bright man, he was indeed an idiot. Your idiot thought. (In his defense, it was the only time he ever attempted subtleties with you, learing his lesson and all.) One thing for sure? The story never ceased to bring a smile on your face.

#cod x reader #cod x you #john price x reader #john price x you #price x reader #john price #captain price #price #price x you #call of duty x reader

[moonswolfie]

HQ!! Boys with a poet S/O

hey hey hey guess who's back with a super self indulgent piece of shit fic (i am joking, this is my humour)

also let's just say the reader does not write about cute lightearted things (but if you'd like to see a version where the reader writes cute stuff lmk!!)

so, yk TW for implied mental turmoil and an overall angsty hurt/comfort mood for these

Characters featured: Oikawa, Akaashi, Kageyama, Bokuto, Iwa chan

OIKAWA honestly wouldn't believe that those poems were written by you at first. When you excitedly gave him some of your poems to read, he thought they would be cutesy love poems dedicated to him and only him, not this. "What...? Are they bad?" You seemed worried at his wide-eyed expression. "Baby, are you ...okay?" He asked out of the blue, the genuine worry in his tone knocking the wind out of you. "Hahaha, it feels so weird hearing you say that...!" You tried your best to not let any more laughter escape you. "What?! Am I not allowed to be a good boyfriend now?!" He was offended by your reaction, slightly clutching the poems in his hands. "No, it's just... unusual to see you this concerned about me." You said with a half-smile. You had gotten so used to Oikawa's light-hearted flirty attitude, that you sort of forgot just what kind of person he is. "Just what do you think of me?" He sighed, suddenly pulling you in for a hug. "You know you can tell me anything, right?" All you did was nod, feeling relieved that he understands.

AKAASHI 's eyes would widen gradually as he read the contents of your poem. You gave him 5, but he already feels horrible, and he's only on the first one. He almost doesn't want to believe you wrote this. He becomes worried about you, doing a deep analysis on your poem since he wants to understand every part before approaching you with his worries. The next day when you greet him happily, he simply hugs you. "I'm sorry for not noticing..." is all he says, and though it takes you a bit to understand what he means, you feel overwhelmingly relieved he isn't judging you for what happened. "It's okay, I didn't tell you, you couldn't have known..." you assured him, knowing your boyfriend's tendency to overthink, he would beat himself up if you said nothing. "Next time, please please tell me about things like this. I can't stand the thought of you suffering alone." He squeezed you tighter.

KAGEYAMA is confused. Reading and understanding poems was never his strong suit, but yours are especially confusing to him. You laughed a little at his concentration face, and he handed you your poem back, still confused. "What does this even mean...?" He asked, eyebrows furrowed. "Ahaha, don't worry about it too much... I wrote it like that on purpose." You made your poem vague and messy on purpouse, something you knew Kageyama probably couldn't understand properly. Awkward silence filled the room, and Kageyama silently hugged you all of a sudden. "I don't get why, but I got the random urge to hug you just now..." he mumbled silently, squeezing you in his grip. He must have noticed the sadness behind your voice and just doesn't know how to properly comfort you. "You said that out loud, Tobio." You smiled. "Shit..."

BOKUTO 's smile drops suddenly as he reads your poem. When he found you writing it, he insisted that he must read it no matter what. But what in the world was this? Why were you writing about all this sad stuff? "Babe...." his hands trembled slightly as he looked at you while you were smiling as you usually do. "Why would you say that about yourself?" He was very very saddened right now, and you weren't sure who's going to end up comforting who. You felt your bones being crushed in his impulsive hug. "It isn't true!! You're literally the best person I know!! So don't you dare say that again!!" He put his forearm over his eyes, tears stinging at his eyes. He has to be strong for you, he can't cry now. "Kou-" "I've decided! From today on, you're getting complimented every day!! No excuses!!" He looked very determined.

IWAIZUMI understood the content of your poems very well. And it angered him. Why didn't you tell him this happened?! "Idiot." He let the word escape his lips, clutching the paper in his hands. "You should have told me. I would have protected you." He looked to you. You weren't scared since you knew that your boyfriend was genuinely concerned right now, and that was just his way of expressing it. "Dammit, why do you always insist on keeping your problems to yourself..." he pulled you to his side, looking ahead. "I'll tell you next time..." you looked down to the ground. "You better. Or I'll beat you up." He huffed, but you saw the relief flashing in his eyes. He didn't really show it, but somehow, you could tell his heart sank when he read it.

I'm okay :)

#˗ˏˋ ★ ☁︎ 「Wolfie’s works」 ☾ ★ ˎˊ˗ #oikawa tooru x reader #bokuto x reader #iwaizumi x you #iwaizumi hajime x reader #akaashi keiji x reader #akaashi x reader #oikawa x reader #kageyama x reader #kageyama tobio x reader #bokuto x you #bokuto koutaro x reader #x gender neutral reader #haikyuu!! #haikyuu x reader

[enhashoutout]

Dating Hanaoka Fujio

This is purely self-indulgent because finals are stressing me out and I needed something fluffy to keep me from taking a nap on the highway

Bf!Fujio who is the golden retriever in the relationship.

Bf!Fujio who doesn't care much about his studies but knows that you do so he offers to keep you company while you study (he's probably distracting you though low key).

Bf!Fujio who notices final exams are absolutely killing you so he takes it upon himself to force you to take breaks, otherwise, you sit in front of your work and forget you're a human who needs water, food, and sleep.

Bf!Fujio who is almost never late because leaves his meetings a few minutes early (if they aren't super important) to come and see you.

"Oi! Fujio! Where are you going?! We're not done yet!" (Probably Yasushi) "Sorry! I have to leave early to be on time to pick up ___ from school and take them home!" All of his friends: 👁️👄👁️ Fujio: *proceeds to pedal his bike so fast he almost smacks into your school's gate but at least he's there and ready to take you home*

Bf!Fujio who thinks of you when he doesn't have a fight to worry about

Bf!Fujio who never shuts up about you + playfully annoyed bestie Tsukasa who knows everything about you because Fujio never shuts up about you but at least his best friend is happy

Bf!Fujio who tells you all about Oya's factions, dynamics, and fights even if you don't quite understand.

Bf!Fujio who tells you about his negative feelings. Example: when he doesn't feel good enough to be Oya's leader, when he's sad remembering his grandpa and Grandma Sada, etc. (This boy deserves all the love in the world make sure he knows that)

Bf!Fujio who hugs you a little longer and a little tighter on the days he isn't feeling all that well

Bf!Fujio who thinks it is the funniest thing to kiss you, catching you off guard, and then running away leaving you confused.

bf!Fujio who loves how you also bond with his friends and help them when you can

Bf!Fujio who gives you a heart attack when he shows up at your doorstep late at night all bruised and needs his injuries tended to before he goes home so he doesn't also give his mom a heart attack.

Bonus points if you're a SWORD leader's younger sibling with that last point. Like imagine being Cobra's younger sibling who is dating Fujio but the kicker is that Cobra doesn't actually know you're dating because you tell him you go to Oya to see your friends, not your boyfriend and his friends who are now your friends.

Fujio shows up late at night after a fight needing his injuries bandaged, and you guys whisper as he tells you what happened and how he won. You guys are whispering thinking that if you're quiet no one will wake up, but you don't realize your older brothers actually went out for a late-night drive because none of them were able to sleep. So as you guys are like giggling and whispering, Cobra, Yamato, and Noberu walk in through the front door and you all just freeze and stare at each other because none of you know what to say. And of course, Fujio being Fujio will probably get excited and ask Cobra if he wants to be friends.

You: shit... how do I explain to my brothers why they just walked in through the door and there is a boy here uninvited? How do I explain that I'm actually dating this boy and I've been lying about why I go hang out at Oya all the time?! Cobra: Eye twitching. Why is there a boy in the house with my younger sibling? Who is this boy? Why is he busted? ___ you have a lot of explaining to do or I'm grounding your ass. Yamato: Ready to follow Cobra whatever he does because you aren't just Cobra's younger sibling you are THEIR younger sibling. If Cobra decides to ground you? Yamato is going to agree and give reasons why you should be grounded even longer. If Cobra lunges at the boy who's sitting in front of you? Shit so is Yamato because who is this bruised up kid giggling with his younger sibling at midnight? Noberu: The only sensible one who will listen to your explanation before taking any action. Will probably have to hold back the other two from attacking your boyfriend or rush their asses to the emergency room because they both fainted after finding out this kid sitting in the kitchen with you is your boyfriend. Fujio: "OH! HELLO! My name's Hanaoka Fujio, I'm ___'s boyfriend. They talk about you all the time and Murayama talked about you all the time too. I think you're so cool! Do you want to be friends?!" Cue Cobra fainting because wdym his younger sibling has a boyfriend?! AREN'T YOU LIKE 3 YEARS OLD?!

Probably gonna expand on boyfriend Fujio and Boyfriend Fujio + Cobra's younger sibling reader when I'm not drowning in final assignments.

Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!

Please don't repost or take my work. Writers work hard on their posts no matter how big or small don't be a shitty human and steal their work thanks.

#the rampage from exile tribe #high&low #high&low the worst cross #high&low the worst x #high&low x reader #hanaoka fujio #hanaoka fujio x reader #boyfriend Fujio is my everything #kawamura kazuma #high&low cobra #sannoh hoodlum squad #oya high #high and low murayama

[riconas]

all I can think about it mean dom rain edging the fuck out of dew can u help pls

sure thing hope this helps

tags: edging, orgasm denial, a dash of choking and slapping

With a growl, Rain grabs the base of Dew’s cock and squeezes so hard he cries out. “Not yet.”

Dew’s head thumps back against Rain’s shoulder. With his hands bound and trapped between them, there isn’t much he can do: exactly how Rain likes it. Arm wrapped snugly around Dew, he can feel Dew’s skinny chest heaving, heart hammering rapidly under his palm.

The clock on the wall says he’s been at it for an hour. Dew’s acting like it’s been three. When Rain makes to stroke the head of his cock, Dew squirms so hard Rain nearly loses his grip.

“What?” he snaps.

Dew turns his face into Rain’s neck. Hiding, shielding himself, and Rain wishes he could see Dew’s face. Wishes he could see the flush of embarrassment across his cheeks, always so red, so pretty.

“Not yet,” Dew says, so meekly Rain almost doesn’t believe this is his Dewdrop. His fiesty little spitfire.

Pathetic, truly.

He gropes for one of Dew’s nipples. Pinches hard, twists until Dew yelps. “Is that your choice to make?”

“Rain—”

“Is it?”

Dew presses impossibly closer. It’s sweet, how he needs to be near to Rain, even when Rain’s being so cruel. There’s a hitch in his voice when he says, “I’m too close.”

Rain slaps his nipple. “Is that—” slaps the other one “—your choice—” slaps his cock “—to make?”

“No!” Dew yelps, squirming even harder.

“Stop moving,” Rain snaps.

Dew goes still. His breathing does not.

“I decide when you’re too close.” Rain slackens his grip by a fraction, just enough to ease a hand up and pet sweetly through Dew’s sweaty hair. To make Dew melt into him, helpless. “Disobey me again and you won’t get to cum at all.”

“I didn’t—”

“Dewdrop,” Rain warns.

Dew shuts up.

It isn’t as if Dew’s done anything bad to warrant a punishment. Lucifer, the punishments Rain ekes out on Dew are far worse than a little bit of teasing. Dew’s just so easy. He’d do anything if Rain asked. It’s a fun power trip that Rain indulges in often, even if it does take a little bit of work to get him there. He wouldn’t submit if he didn’t want to.

“How many was that?” Rain asks, stroking along Dew’s thigh, coaxing it to stop trembling.

“I don’t know,” Dew says shakily.

“Why not? I told you to count them, didn’t I?”

Dew goes tense. He doesn’t reply.

“Didn’t I?” Rain trails two finger up his stomach, his chest, his neck. Pushes them into his mouth, presses down on his tongue. “Answer me.”

“You did,” Dew says. Tries to say. It’s gurgled nonsense, with Rain’s fingers stealing his words.

Rain carelessly wipes his fingers on Dew’s face. Dew chases them for a second before giving up. “That’s not good, is it?”

“No,” Dew breathes. “Sorry.”

He does sound quite sorry, Rain will admit. Which is rare Dewdrop behaviour. He supposes he should be grateful.

Rain shrugs. “Don’t sound very sorry to me.”

Dew’s cock is hot and hard in Rain’s grip. He strokes him slowly, watching it kiss in and out of the circle of his fist, dribbling precum when he rubs under the head with his thumb. He catches the sad, aborted jerks of Dew’s hips, but they’re so pitiful he decides to let them slide.

“Rain,” Dew gasps. “M’close.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” So desperate, so distressed.

“You better not cum,” Rain says nonchalantly. “Might have to punish you if you do.”

Dew whines, shaking his head. “Rain, I—I’m really close. Oh, fuck, fuck, slow down, slow down—”

Rain gathers a fistful of Dew’s hair and yanks with all the strength he can muster. "Don’t you dare, Dewdrop.”

“Please,” Dew sobs. “Please let me cum. I can’t take it anymore, please, Rain, please—”

Rain grabs his throat, squeezing hard enough to cut him off, and grips the base of his cock as tightly as he can. It's so red. Almost purple, bruise-like. A miserable spurt of pre leaks out of the blushing tip and drips over Rain’s fingers.

“It hurts,” Dew rasps, hoarse with how hard Rain is choking him. “It hurts, Rain, it really hurts.”

“Really?” Rain replies, calm as can be. “Where does it hurt?

Dew turns his face into Rain’s neck again, and Rain feels the warm wetness of his tears as they drip down his face. “Everywhere.”

Rain’s stomach twists in sympathy. He ignores it, and tried to recall all the annoying shit Dew does on a daily basis to get himself back in the zone. May as well keep Dew here a little while longer, seeing how much work it took to get him to this point.

“Tell you what,” he says, because he's feeling so very kind. “Five more. Count them for me, nice and clear, and I’ll let you cum.”

Dew’s head lolls against his shoulder. “Please."

“Sound good?”

“Please, Rain,” Dew slurs.

Dew’s going to drop so hard and so fast after this. Rain’s sure of it, knows him well enough to predict exactly how long he’ll have to hold Dew before he’s alright. He’d hold Dew forever if he had to. Forever and more.

He presses a kiss to Dew’s temple, and stays for a moment, breathing in the familiar smell of cinnamon and woodsmoke. He feels Dew sink into him, the sudden tenderness offering momentary relief, and finds he doesn’t quite want to let go.

“Can you do that for me?” he asks gently. “Dewdrop?”

It takes five long seconds before Dew takes a deep breath, lifts his head, and presses a kiss of his own to the side of Rain’s neck.

“Yeah,” Dew says shakily. “Yeah, I can do that.”

#they love each other so much it's disgusting #rico writes #ficlet #rain x dew #dew x rain #the band ghost fanfiction

[dreamofbecoming]

part two, this one is still mostly stobin and pre-steddie. the first part does provide some context, although i imagine you could figure most of it out yourself, but i'd recommend reading it first anyway!

ao3

part 1

platonic stobin, mentions of steddie

rating: t

wc: 3k

---

The conversation dies down and Steve goes back to filling bottles to hand off to Robin, eyes on Dustin where he's still goofing off with Munson. Good, he should get to have as much fun as he can. This is what he should be doing. What they should all be doing. Steve hates that these kids have to be fucking…soldiers so much of the time. He hates that he can't do anything to shield them from it. Not that they'd let him if he could.

Maybe Robbie has a point, about regular teenage life stuff being pointless right now, but god, what the fuck? Why should it have to be? He's 19! He can't even buy a drink yet! Robin is still in high school!

Fuck it. They should get to be kids and think about stupid pointless stuff, too.

"So I know you said you didn't want to talk about your love life, which is fair, but if I keep thinking about dying I'm gonna lose my shit, so you wanna talk about mine?"

She raises an eyebrow at him. "Oh, are we talking about how fucking weird shit has been between you and Nancy?"

Ah, fuck, that backfired almost immediately.

"What? No. Definitely not. Ok, it's been weird, but it's not a thing, ok?" She looks even more skeptical than before. "It's not! I mean, ok, maybe it is," she snorts at him, which. Rude. "But it's just like. Regular weirdness, ok?"

"What the fuck is regular weirdness?"

"You know, like, exes who haven't talked in a while in a high-pressure situation weirdness. The kind of weirdness anyone would be having in our shoes. Normal weirdness!" He throws his hands in the air, agitated.

Munson looks over at the sound of his raised voice, lifting an eyebrow and smirking. What is it with everyone raising their eyebrows at him today? He's being normal! Normal and regular! It's not his fault everything around them is weird and that makes his normal look weird by comparison. He's not doing anything wrong, so get off his nuts already! Geez!

Steve isn't sure how much of that very normal and regular monologue shows on his face, but it must be some because he can see Munson laughing at him as he goes back to playing keepaway with Dustin's hat. Bastard.

"Ugh! No, I don't want to talk about Nance. Like I really super don't. There's nothing there, it's done, it's over, there's nothing to say."

"Yeah, I wouldn't want to talk about that debacle in the bus either. Six kids, Steve? Really?" Oh Jesus. He was really hoping no one had heard that.

"Bobbie, please, why are you torturing me?" He rarely deploys the Sad Eyes on Robin, mostly because they don't work especially well on her, which is insane, because they work like an atom bomb on literally everyone else. He may have left King Steve behind him, but he has plenty of skills left over from those days, not to mention he looks as good as he always has. He knows what he's working with, ok?

Anyways, this is a moment to pull out the big guns, which means Sad Eyes are a go.

As usual, they aren't as effective on Robbie as they are on other people, but she does know him well enough to realize that if he's pulling them out, it's out of desperation, so she takes pity on him anyway. Whatever. He'll take the win.

She sighs, and rolls her eyes indulgently, but she's smiling just a little. He can tell. God, he loves her. He'd burn the world down for her, is maybe going to have to. He doesn't know what he'd do without her.

"Alright, bubba, I'll bite. You want to talk about your love life, but you don't want to talk about Nancy. Whatcha got for me?"

And, oh. Shit. This is the part where he's going to have to say it out loud. He hadn't planned this far, mostly was just anxious to get the swirling feeling in his chest out into Robbie's hands because he knows she can keep it safe, mostly just trying to wipe that awful, scared, defeated look off her face, but now he has to actually do the thing. He has to say it out loud, on purpose, the way he hasn't since that day in her bedroom when his whole world shifted a little to the left, and she was the only thing holding him steady.

Fuck. Ok. He can do this. It's just Rob. No one else is close enough to hear them, and Robin will always keep him safe. She'll never let him be alone.

"So, uh. You know the, uh, the thing? That we talked about that one time?"

"Yeah, we talk every day, I'm gonna need a bit more than that, bubs."

"The, uh. The thing we decided we didn't have to talk about right away? Because it wasn't important? Or, no, it was important, but it wasn't, um. What did you say? Relevant. It wasn't relevant to my everyday life?"

"Relevant to your…oh! Oh shit! The thing! The thing we talked about! That thing!" Her eyes are wide and so so blue and her hands are flailing a little, like she wants to pat him down for injury even though that's not remotely helpful. He carefully takes the bottle out of her hand and stuffs the rag into it himself, setting it on the ground where she can't dump gasoline on herself. She smiles a little sheepishly.

"So what about the, uh, the thing?" She lowers her voice like she's in a goddamn spy movie, leaning close and waggling her eyebrows. She's so ridiculous. He loves her so much.

He gives her a pointed look. She shakes her head in response, looking confused. Jesus fuck, she's gonna make him say it.

He tries one more time, bobbing his head at her to try and make his facial expression more forceful. He doesn't miss his old crowd, really, he doesn't. He does, however, occasionally miss being around people who were constantly alert for even the smallest social shifts, who he could have a whole conversation with using nothing but subtle changes to the shape of his mouth or the width of his eyes. He loves Robin and Dustin more than life, would kill or die for them, has proven it several times over, but Christ on a cracker they wouldn't know a social cue if it whacked them in the head with a hammer.

She's still furrowing her brow at him, so he sighs, and gives in. "I think it's maybe become…relevant. I promised to tell you right away, remember?"

Her eyes go even wider than before, and she thwaps him in the chest with the back of her hand. Hard. Ow.

"Dingus!" She's whisper-shouting, but he still doesn't think anyone is close enough to hear. "What the hell!"

"Ow, Robbie, Jesus, watch the open wounds!"

She flutters her hands around his middle, like she can fix his bandages through his jacket. She does look apologetic, so that's something.

"Sorry, sorry, fuck, sorry! Are you ok? Sorry. Just, what the hell! What? Who? When?!"

He smirks at her. "What, no why or how?"

"I'm going to set you on fire with one of these cocktails if you don't start talking, Dingus, I swear to god!"

He's laughing, she's so much fun to rile up. God, he hopes he doesn't have to miss this. He hopes he gets to keep this much, at least, when they're done. He'll probably go crazy otherwise.

"Ok, ok, I won't tease, I'm sorry. So I guess, to answer your questions, uh…I found a boy to crush on, who the hell do you think, and I promised to tell you right away, didn't I?" He counts them down on his fingers while he answers them, because if he can't act like a little shit to her then honestly, what is even the point?

"Right away…holy shit. Holy shit! Steve!" She looks frantically out at the field, where Munson has now knocked Henderson over and is sitting on him, wearing his hat and crowing victory, while Dustin flails wildly on the ground. Thank fuck neither of them are looking this way, because holy hell she isn't subtle.

"Robbie, don't look, what the hell! Do you want him to know we're talking about him?"

"Oh, so we are talking about him? Eddie "The Freak" Munson?"

He cringes a little at the reminder of his earlier dismissal. "Alright, ok, so I maybe didn't give him much of a chance at first, but the Upside Down changes things, you know that! It did for us, right?"

She looks thoughtful. "I guess, yeah. So go on, loverboy, what do you like about him?" She's grinning and waggling her eyebrows again. Ugh, this may have been a mistake. She does owe him for the Tammy Thompson thing. Still, there's no one alive he'd rather talk about this with, and he has to talk to someone, or he's going to explode, and they have a…wizard…demon…thing…guy to kill. Whatever. They have killing to do, so he needs to get this off his chest so it's not clogging up his brain.

"He has…really nice eyes. And really nice hands." Robin lets out a soft "Oh, ew," before he glares at her and she motions for him to go on. "He's funny, and weird but in like, a charming way? Kind of like you, but different. The way Dustin is weird and charming like you, but different, you know?"

"You have a thing for nerds, Dingus."

"Ugh, maybe, yeah." His mind drifts back to Eddi- Munson. Gotta keep calling him Munson, at least until they get out of this. Can't afford to be distracted. "He's scared out of his mind, but he's coming along anyway, which is the kind of brave and stupid this whole group kind of runs on. He thinks he's a coward but he's not. Going back to school instead of dropping out is brave. Trusting us is brave. Acting like he does even when everyone hates him for it is brave. I wish I had been brave enough to do that, you know? Maybe I would have dropped the King shit earlier. And he's good with the kids, which you know I'm weak for. I don't know, Robs, I just…I want him to like me, you know? I want him to be impressed by me. Is that stupid?"

When he looks up, Robin's eyes are wide and shiny. She looks surprised, and a little scared. That's not good, probably, but he can't take back anything he said. He meant all of it.

"It's not stupid, bubba, it's not stupid at all. I guess I was thinking…I don't know. That it was like an adrenaline thing? Like a 'you're hot, we're in danger, I'd rather think about making out with you than dying' kind of thing? Like what Nancy was clearly doing with you earlier, you know?"

"Ugh, Robbie, I so don't want to talk about Nancy right now, please," he groans.

"Yeah yeah, I know, whatever. I just mean, it doesn't really sound like that's what's going on with you, for Eddie, right now. It kinda sounds like you, you know, like like him."

"Like like him? What are we, 12?"

"You know what I mean, Dingus, it just sounds like there are actual feelings here, not just sexy thoughts."

He shifts a little on his stool, feeling kind of exposed, but it's ok. It's just Robin. "I mean, yeah, I guess I kinda do? Have feelings. Or maybe I will? I'm kind of trying to hold them off, I guess, until we get out of here, you know? I barely know the guy, honestly, but also every time this happens I end up bonded for life to someone new, so why not him this time? I mean, the first time with the demogorgon even got me and Nancy back together, and we were like, donezo, for real, after that thing Tommy did to The Hawk. This shit is better than superglue, you know?"

Robin barks out a laugh. She squares her shoulders and puts on her best announcer voice. "Do you have trouble making friends? Looking to join a new crowd, but can't find a way in? Try Hell Beasts! Our near-death experience package will create lasting trauma that will bind you together forever! There's no escape now!"

The two of them collapse into giggles, drawing the eyes of several their friends scattered around the field.

When she composes herself, Robin gives him a soft smile. It's one of his favorites. Almost no one ever sees it but him, and not very often. "Well, I guess we had better all make it out of this in one piece, then, huh? So we can do all our sad gay pining together."

"I dunno, I think maybe I have a shot," he says thoughtfully, eyeing Edd- no, stop it, Munson, where he's flopped on the grass next to Dustin, chatting happily.

Robin boggles at him. "What the fuck do you mean, a shot? Are you- oh god, are you just gonna tell him? Steve!"

"Wh- Not right away or anything! And not for sure! I have to figure out if he's flagging on purpose first!"

"If he's whatting on what?"

"Oh come on, you remember that one zine that talked about the, uh. The whats it. The code! The hanky code, that was it!" He snaps his fingers in victory, triumphant.

She's still looking at him like he's grown a second head though, so maybe not.

"I don't know, maybe you skipped that one? From what I could tell it was more about men anyway. I think they mentioned that ladies use, uh, caribou. The clip things, you know?"

"Caribeeners? Dingus what the hell are you talking about?"

"It's this thing, right? That like, gay people, gay men, I guess, use to like, signal each other, kind of. It's basically like, you wear a hanky in your pocket, and what color it is and what pattern is printed on it and which pocket you wear it in tells people what kind of sex you like."

Robin looks even more shocked, if that's possible. "What does that even mean, what kind of sex you like?"

Oh, right. Lesbian virgin. Fair enough. "Like, do you like to uh. Give, if you know what I mean. Or receive. Do you like blowjobs, or handjobs, or like. I dunno, weird stuff. Like spit or whatever."

She's waving her hands frantically, her face screwed up. "Ahhhh lalalala that's enough! That's plenty of information, thank you!" He holds up his hands in surrender. She asked.

"Anyway, what does all of...that...have to do with you having a shot with," she switches back to her not-at-all-subtle stage whisper, "Eddie?"

"Haven't you noticed he's had that bandana in his pocket the whole time?" She whips her head around so fast he's surprised he doesn't hear her neck crack. Jesus, Robin.

"Would you chill out? You're going to make him look over here and then I'll have to let Vecna eat me because there's no way I'll survive the humiliation if he hears us, Robin!"

She glares at him. "Don't even joke about that, Dingus. You're making it out alive or I'll kill you myself."

He knows he's smiling adoringly at her, and if Henderson is looking he's never, ever beating those "in love with Robin" allegations, but whatever. "Noted, Buckley."

"So, what, you think he might be...like us? 'Cause of the bandana?"

"I mean, maybe, yeah? I might be crazy, but I also feel like he was definitely flirting with me earlier. Like in the Upside Down, and also at the trailer, you know?"

"Now that I think about it, that "Big Boy" thing was super weird. I figured it was just Eddie being Eddie, they call him The Freak for a reason, right? But I guess that could have been called flirting."

"Right? That's what I thought! And when we were down there, he was like, all up in my space, and he gave me his vest, and he seemed annoyed when I talked to Nance, even though he was trying to push me back to her. Which was insane, I didn't tell you this part Robs, oh my god. I was fully staring at his lips, just laser focused, like I would be on a girl I want to kiss, right? And he won't stop telling me how Nancy is definitely still in love with me and I should get her back! What the hell! Who does that? So I don't know," he sighs, feeling a little lost. "Maybe he isn't into me after all. But I have to at least check, right?"

"I mean, I don't think I'm the right person to ask about that, bubba, but if it goes sideways, I'll burn his house down if you want." She wiggles a molotov cocktail at him, grinning.

"Jesus, Bobbin, alright. Let's, uh. Let's call that Plan B, yeah?"

"Roger that, captain!" She gives him a stupid little salute, and for a moment he's back at Scoops, before everything went shit-shaped, but she's still his Robin, and they're safe and alive and nothing hurts.

And then he blinks again and he's sitting on an overturned bucket in front of a stolen RV, making molotov cocktails with his soulmate, watching his baby brother and the guy he might maybe sort of have a crush on tussle in the grass, hoping against hope they all live to see morning.

He picks up another bottle.

part 3

#stranger things #platonic stobin #steddie #pre-steddie #steve harrington #robin buckley #steve harrington & robin buckley #bisexual steve harrington #robin calls steve bubba and steve calls her bobbie and i will die on both those hills #eddie munson #dustin henderson #(mentioned) #part 3 coming soon i hope lmao #missing scene #my writing

[goldensunsetchild]

♱ Odd Eye ♱ | SAGAU fanfiction|

[CW: SAGAU, cult themes, violence, imposter!creator, isekai'd reader, fem! reader. A little self indulgent. It might contain lore hypothesis as well.]

Word count: 2.5k

Author's note: please keep in mind that english is not my first language and that there may be some mistakes. I do hope that the story is coherent enough 😅.

It only took me some minutes before I could see Decarabian's tower and honestly, seeing it right before me and not behind a screen made me feel overwhelmed. Maybe it's because of all the elemental energy that flows in this place or maybe because of how big it really looked like... even if it was in such a bad state and almost crumbling, it has been there even after twenty-six hundred years. The wind helped me land on the tower's last floor and as I placed my feet on the ground, I paralyzed upon seeing the figure of someone else in there. Are they going to hurt me too?

"It took you so long to get here that I have started to wonder whenever l would be able to see you. Your Grace."

I... I recognize that voice.

"Tone-deaf bard!... I mean."

I coughed before correcting myself

"Venti. Are you here to hunt me as well?"

His turquoise eyes glanced up at me with confusion.

"Why would I do that, Your Grace? Only a blind fool would not recognize you. I waited a long time for the day you would return to us."

He... waited a long time? What does that mean? He is saying it as if I have actually been here before. I decided to take a seat down on the floor while my brain started to process the information Venti has just told me. If it's like he says, then could that mean that maybe I did used to be a deity here on Teyvat but then for some unknown reason when I ended up in Earth I "reincarnated" there and probably lost not only my memories from this world but also my powers. But wait a minute, if they are addressing me as the creator.. does that mean that I'm the usurper king? Am I really Phanes? I don't understand though I feel like there's information missing.

"Venti, are you completely sure I'm the creator?"

I asked giving him a serious glance.

"Of course you are, Your Grace."

He answered as if that was the dumbest thing to ask. Then I got up from my seat and grabbed him by his shoulders.

"Then... he... he probably hates me."

I whined in a sad voice. And Venti looked at me perplexed.

"He? Who would be such an idiot as to hate you, Your Grace?"

He asked but I didn't answer and I laid down on the floor. My hydro dragon, I'm not going to be able to stand it if he glances at me with hatered on his eyes so I sighed with resignation for I knew that even if I wanted to I didn't have the talent to convince him to not to hate me. Then I got seated back on the floor, I glanced at Venti and spoke.

"Do you have memories of the past? You know, from before I left this world."

I asked and he nodded.

"Of course I have, Your Grace. From back then when I was but a mere wisp of wind and went always following you around."

He said with a smile seeming to reminiscing about his past memories.

"Right, you didn't have a human body back then. Following what you say that I'm truly the creator of Teyvat, then I suppose I was the one to create you. Though I have the feeling that probably was out of pure boredom."

I said and Venti gasped.

"Your Grace, back then you also said something like that. That you only created me out of pure boredom."

Upon hearing that I couldn't help but burst into laughter. Venti looked at me rather confused.

"What's so amusing, Your Grace?"

He asked and after calming down I spoke.

"I apologize, it's just that I find rather amusing the fact that I have stayed almost the same in terms of personality."

Venti's eyes sparkled upon hearing that.

"Is that so? Then, then! What if instead to go and flirt with Morax, you flirt with me instead?"

He asked causing me to almost drown when I breathed in heavily. He immediately brought me some water upon seeing me cough so much, after calming down I glanced at him in disbelief.

"I-I used to flirt with Morax?"

I asked to him and he nodded. Damnit, even back then I was already down bad for Zhongli.

"I... I see. It seems that I had a really good taste in men."

I admitted and he pouted.

"You still like him?! Your Grace, how can you still like that old man? I'm much better than him!"

He said like a child throwing a tantrum. I cleared my throat.

"Let's leave this discussion for another time, could you please enlighten me more about the past?"

I asked and even if he was not that pleased with the sudden change in topic, he still obliged and started to tell me more of the old times. I stayed silent only listening to what he was saying as missing any piece of information would be bad for me, I needed to gather even the smallest of the details in order to process everything and reach out a conclusion. Once he finished I glanced at the sky and noticed it was getting dark already so it would probably be best for him to return to Mondstadt.

"Venti, you should go back. It's getting dark."

I uttered and he glanced at me.

"What? But I was thinking in staying to make you company."

He answered, it was clear that he indeed wanted to stay but.

"You can't stay with me. To the knights and the people of Mondstadt I'm but an imposter, I know that you currently live under the identity of Venti the Bard. And that's more of a reason for you to return, the people are going to start to think you are a traitor if you hangout too much with me."

I spoke and by the look on his face it was more than clear that he understood what I said. After he finally left, I sat down on the floor again and my brain started to go through all of the new information I got all over again. Even after arriving in Teyvat for some reason I've felt that I do belong here but shouldn't I be having back my memories by just steeping on this world? It's as if my connection with this world is being distorted by something... or someone.

I closed my eyes with the intention of meditating, maybe I'm missing a detail so if I concentrate I might be able to grasp it even a little. The night has already fallen so everything at Dvalin's lair was silent, of course with the exception of the sound of the wind hollowing through the cracks of Decarabian's tower. My mind soon started to get focused on the information I've gathered so far, recalling even Venti's stories about the past then suddenly I started to hear whispering voices.

There were a lot of them and I couldn't really understand what there were saying at all, so I tried my best to focus to see if I could maybe get a new clue... a word I could recognize.

"...Sä..."

...

"...Säk'..."

...

"¡Säk'mi!"

I opened my eyes startled, my heart rate had  increased suddenly and my breathing was erratic. So I started to take deep breaths to calm down, I didn't know why but for some reason that word... or maybe it's was a name... either way, it felt way too familiar. I was really curious and want to investigate about it but at the same time there was this feeling in my gut that was telling me that I shouldn't dig into it, at least not yet. Since I wasn't really sleepy at all I glanced over the distance and noticed a small white finch that stood over one of the many broken bricks of Decarabian's tower, I smiled and closed my eyes for bit focusing on the image of the small bird and to my surprise I did started to see something.

At first the image was blurry but after a few moments it became more clear... wait... Isn't that me seated in the distance? Why am I seeing myself? Upon opening my eyes everything went back to normal, could it be... an ability to share senses with animals? Just how far away my reach works? To answer that question I closed my eyes once more and visualized one of the cats that was always outside of the Cat Tail's tavern and sooner my vision got adapted just like with the finch. As I suspected I indeed could see what the cat sees and not only that, upon paying enough attention I started to hear noises and voices as well.

If I concentrate enough, could I be able to mind swap with the cat just like Nahida did once with the Traveler? I focused and soon it happened, I moved the cat's body around for a bit when in the distance I noticed that Venti had finally returnned to the city and that he was heading towards the direction of the Angel's Share, so I decided to follow him careful of not getting too close if I didn't want to trigger his allergy. After finally getting inside of the tabern I hid under one of the tables and watched Venti sat down on a chair of the tavern's counter and to my surprise Diluc was there cleaning up some glasses. It seemed he immediately noticed that Venti was there for he started to spoke.

"You went to see her, don't you?"

He asked. "Her?" he... he isn't talking about me right?

"I'm sorry. I don't know who you are talking about Master Diluc. Do you have Dandelion wine?"

Venti asked trying to avoid the talk. Nice cover, Venti.

"If you tell me how is she I'll give you a cup for free."

Diluc said and I saw how Venti's ears perked up. No, don't fall for that!

"In exchange for a bottle. I'll tell you anything you want to know about her."

Venti haggled with a smile. Nooo!!! Tone-deaf bard, you traitor!

"Fine, I'll give you the bottle. Where is she right now?"

Diluc asked. Wait... He really accepted Venti's proposal? No way.

"On Stromterror's lair."

Venti answered. I want to punch him right now, why is he selling my hide out to Mondstadt's Dark Night Hero? And by a mere bottle of Dandelion wine!!!

"Is she injured?"

Diluc asked another question. I glanced at his direction completely flabbergasted. I didn't heard wrong right? He asked if I was injured right?

"She is perfectly fine, with no scratch at all."

Venti answered and Diluc sighed in relief. Why is he sighing in relief??? Then I heard Venti ask him something.

"How come you know it's her and not an imposter like the Knights of Favonius and the rest of Mondstadt?"

Diluc glanced at Venti staying quiet for a moment, I actually want to know that as well. After some time he spoke again.

"Starchaser has been glowing ever since she arrived, unlike with the other one that descended before. Now it seems to want to be on hands of it's rightful owner."

Diluc answers. Starchaser? What's that and why it started glowing ever since I came here?

"Wait, you are telling me that you found the whereabouts of Her Grace's divine weapon?"

Venti asked him and I saw how Diluc nodded. Ohhh, so it's a divine weapon. Then is it something like Zeus's master bolt? Like Thor's Mjölnir? I remember that in almost all mythologies the god's always had a divine weapon. Hades with his helm of darkness, Poseidon had his trident, Odin had Gungnir that was a spear, Hǫfuð the sword of Heimdallr, Sudarshana Chakra the discus of Vishnu and I think Shiva had a trident as well and it's name was Trishula.

"I kept it a secret since anyways no mortal could lay a hand upon it, at least not without getting pulverized."

Diluc said with complete honesty. Well like  mentioned in all mythologies as well, no mortal can touch a divine weapon without dying in the process. He then proceeded to ask Venti another question.

"Do you think she will be willing to meet with me so I can lead her to the location of her divine weapon?"

As I understood so far, it seems that Diluc understands that the "worshipped creator" it's not actually the creator and not only that but he hasn't even told to the Knights that he found their creator's divine weapon. Though I think I know why he has kept silent about it, like in the game, he does not trust the Knights and he prefers to handle things alone like he has always done before. But... can I really trust that he doesn't mean any harm to me? From what I have seen so far, people here behave like in the fanfictions I used to read about the imposter alternative universe. Blinded acolytes who would kill anyone who tried to impersonate their divine creator, that's actually one of the reasons why I hate religion and the church so much... because they always do bad things but they back themselves saying that is all in the name of their god.

"I could try to ask her tomorrow, let me convince her first that you don't suppose a threat to her and if she accepts then I'll introduce her myself to you."

Venti answered after a long silence. I then decided to go back to my body after leading the cat's body out of the tavern, after opening my eyes I was still on the last floor of Decarabian's tower so I sighed in relief. So I laid down on the floor and glanced up at the roof that was as just in a bad state as the rest of the tower. If it really turns out that Diluc is a potential ally then I might be able to survive a little until I can set up a plan before leaving Mondstadt, though it's not going to be easy since I don't know what the other characters and vision holders think about me or if they are aware like Diluc that the current creator is not actually their creator at all.

I let out a loud sigh before closing my eyes, just having to think all the things I would need to do tomorrow is already giving me a headache so let's just sleep for now. Let's just hope that the temperature does not get too cold, ahhh...  maybe I should have asked Venti to fetch me a blanket. Anyways let's try to sleep and do the brain work tomorrow for right now I'm really tired, I also hope that Diluc can really become in my new ally so I can get to eat food for I haven't eaten since yesterday morning. So, it would be really ideal if everything could go just a little bit well.

To be continued

tag list

@atsukawolfcat

#self aware au #genshin impact #sagau #sagau fanfiction #fem reader #genshin self aware #odd eye fic✨

[luveline]

no worries if not!!! but can you write one where james comes home from work and hears reader sniffing and he’s like MY BABY?!?!?!?! proper panicking thinking reader is crying and rly upset but she’s actually been chopping onions (this may or may not be self indulgent because i was chopping onions and my eyes HURT so bad and i almost chopped my finger bc i was tearing up that much) :’)

for u i hope its okay! ♡ fem!reader

James goes very quickly from tired to alert, your sniffles like a sudden flick of the switch. It's obvious that you're crying, you don't sound as if you're hiding it, little wet sniffs and breaths echoing from the kitchen. 

He kicks out of his shoes but leaves on his suit jacket in his rush, jogging down the hall and into the kitchen. As soon as you're in sight his heart is broken. You've your back to him and while you're not shaking, you're crying and cutting up little baby tomatoes. It makes him so so sad to think you'd cry and keep going anyhow. 

My girl, he thinks, stricken. 

"Baby, what's the matter?" 

You gasp and he gasps and you slam down the knife. "Fuck, Jamie," you say, laughing wetly and turning. Your face is stained with tear tracks. "You scared me." 

"Why are you crying?" he asks. 

You stare at him. He tries to take your hands and you pull away, furthering his worry. "Don't, I have-" 

"What's wrong?" 

"Jamie," you say firmly, "I'm fine." 

"You don't look-" 

"I was cutting onions." You angle your chest so he can see the chopping board. "They're from Sirius' garden. Very potent." 

"Are you joking?" 

"No," you say, with another lovely laugh. 

He ignores your hands in favour of your face, wiping the mess of tears from your cheeks and bottom lashes carefully. You've kept your work skirt and tights on but swapped your nice blouse for a pajama top, and the fabric is soft against his cheek as he hugs you. 

You stand with your hands above his shoulder, hesitant.. "James, I'm really okay." 

"This hug isn't for you, it's for me." 

"Oh. Well, let me wash my hands so I can hug you properly." 

He squeezes you very tight and then pulls away. "Why do you do this to me? I came in and I could hear you crying and I felt my heart fall out." 

You wrinkle your nose at the image and wash your hands. Freshly rinsed, you push them over his shoulders and wrap your forearm behind his head, blocking him in. He slides a misbehaved hand under your t-shirt and feels up the curves and bumps of your back greedily.

James' heart takes a little while to slow. When it does, he lets you go reluctantly and with the insistence that he be the sole handler of all evil onions. He doesn't want to see you cry again, even if they're crocodile tears.

#james potter x reader #james potter x y/n #james potter x you #marauders #marauders era #james potter #james potter imagine #james potter fanfiction #james potter drabble #james potter x fem!reader #fem!reader

[orlaogden]

Mchart week: The Road Trip

They are both unusually quiet in the morning. As if they are afraid to break the peaceful silence and ruin everything, so they let their bodies speak for their tongues. Kurt fries bacon and eggs, Diane warms up bagels and makes coffee.

A light brush of hands, short timid smiles. She adverts her eyes, and he feels a sudden pang in the chest. His arms snake around her waist, he just can't help it, his lips kiss the side of her head above the right ear. Despite the short glimpse of sadness he felt radiating from her just a moment ago, she leans in his embrace readily, caresses his back, kisses his shoulder. They're bathing in morning sunlight, in the warmth of their embrace and in the smell of the coffee.

"Kurt. Let's get away from the city for a while?" Diane blurts out.

"You mean, go to the country?"

"No... Go on a trip. Spend some time in nature." She knows he would love it. She knows that she will enjoy it too and they need it.

Kurt's eyebrows go up. Diane and nature: a beautiful combination but a rare one.

"Why?"

"To make a room," she pauses and finds his left hand with hers. "To clear more space for... love. Just be simply Diane and Kurt for a while."

Kurt is almost ready to laugh. He thinks that he is always himself and that being in love with her is his default state of being. But he gets it, so he just squeezes her hand and kisses her cheek instead.

"Do you have something particular in mind?"

"Nope. We can make arrangements today and go tomorrow."

"It's a deal then." He smiles into her hair.

The silence between them sparks with anticipation of something exciting as they eat.

***

Eventually they decide to go to Starved Rock. It's not too far from Chicago and it's beautiful.

Kurt's driving the car. Lyle Lovett doesn't provoke a sudden wave of longing anymore. The car doesn't reek of incense. Everything falls right into place. They're not going to meditate, they're going to walk and see the waterfalls, although Diane doesn't even mind watching him fishing for the whole day, breathing in the fresh air and the closeness of the most important person in her life she missed so much and desperately tried to forget in the fear of no future.

"You know what. We should try an axe throwing next."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah. I'll show you my moves." She adds with a cheeky smile. 

"I always thought it's a pity that you had got over it before we could try it together." 

"Maybe you'll find that the axes are actually hotter than guns."

"I know for sure that you'd  look hot as hell with an axe. As for the technical side… Maybe I am a simple guy, but I like complicated things, you know."

"Oh, I know. You wouldn't marry me if you haven't." Diane sighs. "There are actually so many things we haven't tried doing together…"

The majority of the trip they discuss their plans for future activities they want to try, building a bridge to their life together in DC. Diane thinks that maybe her cowboy is not an artsy person but he sure knows how to have fun and make her feel warm inside. 

The playful talk only dies out when they stop at a parking lot near a gas station to buy some coffee. Somehow coffee gets forgotten pretty quick as they indulge in a not exactly silent make out session.

***

“There is something humbling about the ancient rocks. We try to be important, be heroes, make a difference, while they’re just standing here and will outlive us all…”

“You’ll be able to make a difference again when you’re back in a courtroom. Real difference for real people.” 

And you will feel better, his tender green eyes tell her. She already feels better. The earth, the rustle of leaves, water and his steady presence ground her. Baby steps are not so frustrating anymore. Finally she knows what she needs to do: go back to what she does best. Leading a law firm, fighting for clients she actually cares about. Finally she doesn’t feel so painfully alone.

She looks down at the calm water surface and muses. 

This is crazy how you start to think that a person you have mutual interests with understands you on a truly deep level, seeking his advice because you feel like drowning, only to realize later that he doesn't know you at all. And it makes sense, because he really doesn't.

And this is crazy how a person, you have so little in common with on a surface level, gets you better than anyone else in the world. It doesn't make sense at all, but it feels so right when you don't overthink it.

***

"Ouch!" Diane stumbles and almost falls but Kurt's strong hand supports her in time.  

"Are you alright, hon?" he asks gently caressing her side. Diane takes a deep breath trying to not lean too much onto him.

"I think I've twisted my ankle. I'll be alright in a minute."

"You need to sit down and rest for a bit…" Kurt looks around trying to find something suitable. Sadly, they are out in the wild and there are no benches. "What do you think about this nice looking rock?" 

Kurt helps Diane to reach the big flat rock he spotted and sit down. Then he takes three steps back, checks her out affectionately and pulls the smartphone out of his pocket. 

"You look like a princess who got lost in the woods."

"Yeah, seventy years old princess in leather pants", Diane answers sarcastically. 

"Princess SexyPantsass", Kurt says lightheartedly and gets a perfect shot of her laughing. This will be a nice addition to his growing collections of Diane's photos. 

When Kurt helps Diane to stand up again, his stomach grumbles loudly. 

"I think we should head to the picnic area. Maybe this place has a dark history, but I don't want my galant knight to starve!"

***

Kurt gives Diane a plate with a hot aromatic grilled cheese sandwich and two sausages on the side while she spoonfeeds him a pasta salad she made this morning. He feeds her grapes. She wipes her hands with a napkin and pats his knee. They clunk two beers and toast their trip. The silence they've immersed into now is comforting in all its cozyness. 

A gust of wind ruffles Kurt's hair, and Diane's fingertips tingle. He is relaxed, almost serene. He looks at her with such tenderness that her lips start tingling too. She brushes breadcrumbs from his mustache, lightly touching the upper lip with her pinkie. He smiles and kisses her fingers. She can't restrain herself anymore. One hand goes up his cheek and disappears in the thick silver hair. The other hand goes up his chest, then his neck. And they are kissing, and kissing, and kissing. Bottles fall clinking against each other. Diane silently prays for the bottles to be empty, but when they end the kiss she looks only at him. 

"Now I'm starved for something else", Kurt breathlessly murmurs in her ear, sending a tingling sensation down her spine. Diane is half turned on, half hyper-aware that they're in a public space. 

"I'm afraid we have to starve for this much longer, my love", she whispers, moving away from him. The look on his face when she says the last two words almost makes her cry. 

“Thank you for coming back to me.” She literally breathes the sentence out. Her guilty look adds: Despite me hurting your feelings again and again.

It is both an apology for how she had left things and gratitude for him finally being here for her, not on the phone with a despicable organization, not somewhere else.

“Thank you for choosing us again.” Kurt answers simply, his voice is breaking in the middle. 

Her brows form two slanting lines, her lips tremble. As though they both could go a different way. They almost did, but no, she couldn't, they couldn’t.

She just hugs him then. If she could melt into his soft flannel shirt, she would. His hands clutch so tightly on her back as if he is afraid she would disappear. 

The next moment an angry kid passes them muttering something about "gross adults". They break their embrace and laugh, probably making the kid even angrier. The unexpressed thought makes them laugh even louder. 

On the way back to the car they see a double rainbow. 

"Everything is gonna be alright", Diane thinks. Kurt opens a car door for her. Going back home doesn't seem so depressing anymore. 

_______________

The song in the edit: Love Will Keep Us Alive by Scorpions. 

Thank you @rexlockhart for organizing such a wonderful fandom event! 💗💗💗

#the good fight #mchart #diane lockhart #kurt mcveigh #MchartWeek #diane x kurt #christine baranski #gary cole #the visual pun is half-intended :D #guess who hasn't written anything descriptive in ages #and yes i need a beta