okay so i want to hear about your take on aegon i know you like him and all (so do i no matter how much i wish not to) but whyy
yess thanks for asking, I love being insane about him<3
I think Aegon is such a wildly tragic character– many asoiaf characters are but I'm so drawn specifically to him; he didn't want power or responsibility or the crown. It all was bestowed upon him against his will, and he shouldn't; putting on the crown is his definitive death sentence. The coronation scene has got to be one of my favorites in the season– he is quite literally walking up to be butchered like a sacrificial lamb, there are tears streaking his cheeks in the scene! I love the tragedy of it, the way it couldn't have been avoided anyways; his fate was sealed from the very start! He was quite literally dead from the very beginning.
I'm going off a mix from the book and the show but I actually love what they did with the character in the show? The book version does have some hard-hitting moments from him that are missing ("What sort of brother steals his sister's birthright?") but there wasn't that much there in terms of characterization and relationships. And wow, did they deliver on that in the show; I'm gonna give whoever came up with his mommy issues a forehead kiss.
Because YES! He and Alicent are reflections of one another– Alicent suffered under the heavy boot of Otto, turned into the perfect daughter, turned into the perfect queen for him. She recognizes that this was wrong and abusive of him, then she turns around and does the same thing to Aegon– the poison DOES drip through, the wheel is NOT broken!! It's BRILLIANT.
@atopvisenyashill put a GREAT tag under one of my posts–
#he looks like her and he’s weak like her so why can’t he get strong like her.
While Alicent persevered, Aegon crumbled under the pressure. He is miserable when we meet him– and he should be! He is unfit for the role of king, but it is his destiny nonetheless, everybody tells him so. It destroys him.
It's so sad too and I cannot help but to feel bad for him. No one knows where he is in ep 9, I don't think he has anyone to confide in; it must be lonely. Everybody seems to have written him off already– he is a drunk and a failure at being heir, being a son, being a father. He tries to prove them wrong later, and does in some aspects.
His loneliness plays into another aspect of him that I really love; his desperation to be loved. He will never be enough for anybody, he probably knows it deep down.
"[Aegon is] desperate to be loved but destined to be hated." – Tom Glynn-Carney
Obviously there is the carriage scene with Alicent that shows this. But I also really love the moment in his coronation, where he basks in the people's affection and cheers. He is poised to bleed out in front of the throne, he was crying and fighting for his life not to take the crown just minutes before. But now he's here and they love him and he can't help but love that.
He takes the crown to protect his family (the show does hint at that with Alicent telling him as much in ep. 6– in the book it's much more explicit with Criston pressuring him on the day of the coronation itself) and then his son DIES because of it! And he drinks and rages and drinks some more; he must've blamed himself. He goes to battle, flies too high (figuratively), and he FALLS; he burns and falls to the ground. He isn't made to be king. He knows. He does it anyways.
"You have already written yourself into legend, you survived dragonfire" – Larys Strong in season 2 (probably)
He survives, he is gone for over a year, unable to do anything but he SURVIVES. He escapes the capital, takes Dragonstone, he falls AGAIN, he loses most of his family; but he still goes on. Fueled by what? Maybe anger, or bitterness or just pure lust for revenge. It doesn't matter. He must've realized somewhere on the way that this was always meant to go this way, ever since he put the conqueror's crown on. It doesn't matter.
And then he dies and it's not grand or spectacular or anything like that. He drinks poisoned wine, nobody even sees him die, they only find him after. It's so uniquely lonely.
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You Really Thought You Could Just Take Them From Me?
(Vox Edition)
(Vox x GN!Reader)
Author's Note: Bruh I was just gonna do this neat little idea of how some of the Hazbin guys react to someone kidnapping their S/O. It was just gonna be some headcanons, and then I was like ooo some headcanons and a tiny imagine. And then I did this because I was having fun and kept writing. So I'll probably just give everyone their own separate post since it ended up being longer than I anticipated haha. The others I'll do this scenario for are Alastor, Lucifer, and Zestial because I adore him and there isn't much of him. I'm open to others as well if anyone wants!
Tags: Violence, possessive Vox, I just enjoy writing possessive and protective people okay??? And I think you all do too since the other one I wrote that you guys liked he literally electrocuted someone to death for his S/O lol
Vox
Is annoyed at first when you don't show up to your scheduled date.
He's an incredibly busy man and you both know that and he does his best to make time for you so you don't usually miss these.
Once he remembers how unusual this is for you his annoyance turns to worry.
You really wouldn't miss one of these unless it was something serious, right?
His panic starts slow and builds itself into a crescendo over time, even as he tries to calm himself and tell himself everything is okay even as his repeated calls go to voicemail.
With each successive voicemail left, the pit in his stomach grows larger and heavier.
It isn't much longer after that before he zaps himself away through one of his cameras, almost instantaneously zipping through the electric network to bring himself back into his office.
He ignores Velvette's question of why he's back so soon, single mindedly focused now.
As soon as he's sitting down and plugged in he's scouring every camera he has access to, going back to find your last known location.
His panic just rises the longer it goes before he finally catches sight of the back of your head and then the air leaves his lungs entirely. He hadn't even realized how dizzy he was becoming from holding his breath, or even that he was.
He eyes you now, looking for what happened. At this point he's almost praying you accidentally blew him off because it would mean you were safe.
But he is in Hell, and there is no God that would listen to his prayers down here.
Vox is tapping his foot impatiently and checking his watch for what feels like the hundredth time as he sits and waits for you.
You were so late. You knew he was busy, that these pockets of time he carved out for you were hard to come by. How could you possibly think to blow him off, of all people?! You've never done that before!
And then the jiggling of his foot stops, a realization dawning on him. You...hadn't ever done this before. Not in all the many many dates and rendezvous you've had. You... probably wouldn't miss this unless there was something serious happening. But then he's shaking his head and trying to rationalize it, not wanting to immediately go nuclear like Valentino would and then end up being embarrassed when you show up five minutes later. He calls you then, the profile picture of you blowing him a kiss appearing on his screen as the dialing starts. He raps his claws against the table as he impatiently waits for you to pick up.
But you don't pick up. He's trying to ensure he doesn't sound desperate and he hopes he keeps his voice level enough to not betray that he is beginning to get worried over you, again it would be embarrassing to get that worked up and you just got held up by something mundane.
"Hey Dollface, it's me. I hope you haven't forgotten our little lunch date? I was really excited to see you after a pretty boring morning. Call me."
He keeps it simple, like he's simply reminding you before he hangs up, like he isn't really that bothered. He takes a deep breath and leans back in his chair in the restaurant, trying to keep those paranoid thoughts at bay even as they gnaw at him.
Another five minutes and he's calling again. He doesn't hide his panic as well as he did the first time.
"Hello love, it's me again. Can you just...at least message me or call me so I know you're okay and just running late?" He finishes before shooting you off a text as well in case you couldn't pick up the phone but could text him.
But not even that works, and he's growling in frustration now. He swears if you don't answer this next call he's going to lose it, but even it goes to voicemail and he can't push the panic back anymore as he leaves one last voicemail, raising his voice loud enough for other nearby tables to hear.
"Okay. Look, I'm going to be honest with you. If I don't get a call or text back in five fucking minutes so I know you're on your way I'm tearing this entire fucking city apart until I find you."
To anyone around him this would sound almost like a threat, but if you had heard it you would know it was a promise of safety.
He waits until precisely five minutes pass, on the dot, and then he morphs himself into electricity, zipping his way through the electric network to get back to VoxTek.
He's so worried now he doesn't even register Velvette asking why he's back so early, and jokingly asking if you two had a spat. But she sees the look on his face and his silence, and it's enough of an indicator to leave it be, whatever this is. So she returns to her phone as she watches Vox go further in. She wasn't going to get involved in whatever mess this was unless needed.
He's plugged in before he's even sitting down fully in his chair, screens lighting up of views across the city and he's searching now. He starts with the route from the place you mentioned wanting to go to this morning to the location of the lunch date, reviewing footage to find something.
Finally, finally he catches sight of the back of your head, exhaling so hard it almost makes him dizzy. He hadn't even realized he had been holding his breathe.
He zeroes in on you now, looking to see what went wrong. You're walking fast and checking your phone, and he checks the timestamp and sees it is fairly close to when your date was scheduled. He feels relieved, but almost stupid with his over reaction. He actually drags his hand down his face in sheer embarrassment, his screen tinted pink along the center line. You were just running late. He's about to unplug and head back to the restaurant when he sees you duck down an alley for a shortcut.
He switches to another camera, that has a slightly better view of the alley just to ensure you did indeed make it back safely, and sees you run face first into the back of someone because you were checking the time again, so intent on making your way to him on time. You run into them so hard that they stumble forward and fall and you do too.
Vox can't pick up the sound clearly enough from this far, but he can tell you're apologizing but this demon doesn't seem to care. He's immediately grabbing your arms and trying to drag you along with him, you fighting every step of the way.
Vox didn't know what he was dragging you off to do but it doesn't matter. Either way this man can count the hours he had left to live on one hand. He makes the footage fast forward and follows along with his cameras until he sees the two of you enter a building.
Fucking finally, a lead.
He rips the cables out so unceremoniously fast that it hurts a moment, a pain dulled by the adrenaline he's feeling, and then he's zapping himself again to the camera he had closest to the building.
His worry had turned to anger, palpable to those around him from the errant sparks that bounced off the sidewalk with each step he took. Everyone in his way made sure to give him a wide berth, not wanting to get caught in the crossfire of the war path he was clearly on.
He doesn't bother knocking, pushing the front door of said building in with sheer brute force. Perks of being a powerful overlord. He's stronger than he looks.
You're so close he's sure of it. The static electricity in the air is almost crackling as he begins to walk through the building, listening for any sound of you. When he hears none, he speaks.
"I ฿ɆⱠłɆVɆ you have ₴-₴Ø₥Ɇ₮Ⱨł₦₲ of ₥ł₦Ɇ." He almost bellows, voice glitching out heavily as he announced himself, hopefully so you could hear and alert him. But also to serve as a final warning for this demon that their time was coming. He's holding his breath as he listens, before he hears it.
A few loud and rapid thuds, almost like a fist banging on a wall, and he's focused on it like a hawk now, pace picking up as he makes his way to the room he's sure he heard it come from and then he finally hears the idiot's voice in a desperate heated whisper.
"Be quiet or he'll find me you stupid fuckin-"
. L̢̛͉͉̠̹̠ͭͦ͐ͧ̄̓̋̕͢͡͞_̸ͤE͚̦̻̪ͨ͑̄́T̴.̝͕̫̯̈́̅_̩͙̬̣̫̲ͯ̂̂̈̓ͩͨ̚͟ͅ T̥͖̑̎͝H̜̑͂́̚_͔̳͚̿̈́͒̾͟E̸̜͎̰̗ͭ̉̉͌ͧ͌̂̊ͬ͜M͉͖̙̓͆̆ͧ̿̏͋ͨ.̈́̅ G̶̡͓̰͚̭̖̈́̎ͩ̎͜͡͞Ȯ͔̠͈͔̉̄́ͤ͒́_̤͈͗.̨̣ͧ̀̃͞" -
The glitches and intimidating aspect to his voice are not intentional this time as the blue hue from his face lights up the scene before him, the hue of his screen quickly bursting into a brilliant shade of red, casting you both in a different light. This disgusting idiot's hands were on you, one covering your mouth to keep you from screaming.
The man lets you go like you're made of hot coals, and knowing he would not win this fight, attempts to run past Vox to try and escape.
But Vox is not letting this go. Not with how worried he had been, not with how this scum thought they could put their hands on his lover. Grabbing the man's arm hard enough to stop him in his tracks without barely even turning, electricity shoots through him enough to temporarily paralyze him.
But not kill him.
Oh no.
He had better plans.
With the immediate threat extinguished for now, he drops the now limp arm, letting it fall carelessly to the ground. He approaches you then, you already meeting him halfway to throw your arms around him. He can feel the sparks still coming off his body begin to fade away as you do though, his screen turning from red back to its normal blue. If the sparks hurt you, you don't say anything.
"Are you okay?" He asks, wrapping his arms around you and picking you up so you could sit on one arm and wrap your hands around his neck more easily, which you do eagerly, curling up into him seeking comfort he is more than happy to provide.
"...Y-yeah." Your voice is shakey so he knows you're trying to put on a brave face.
He's shooting off a text to a bodyguard at VoxTek and giving the coordinates of where they are as he figures out what his next course of action will be. He didn't want to leave you unattended, but it seems he needed to put this fool in their place as well.
"How about this sweetheart, I've got someone coming to escort you to the restaurant, you place a to go order for us, and bring it back to my office and we can have our lunch date there." He offers in such a sweet voice it almost gives you whiplash to hear his voice change from how he spoke to the sinner before to this intentionally charming and sweet voice. He is still keeping you close as he eventually settles on a solution. He feels your arms grip him more tightly at the suggestion of him leaving you, even if it is with a bodyguard and he can already predict your question before you ask it.
"What about you? Why can't you take me?" You sound scared still even though you're trying not to and he squeezes you slightly in a way he hopes comforts you.
"I plan to take my time showing this sinner what happens when someone messes with what is m̥̲͓̫ͪ͆́ͫ̔̈͆́i̶̶ͫn̶̷̡̨̩̱̟̐̀̐̄͑ͤ͢e̷ͣ_̑͠." His voice takes on that threatening edge towards the end before he clears his throat, charismatic persona beginning to fall back into place once more.
"You just get whatever you want and I'll be there soon Dollface. I've already rescheduled my next two meetings, so I'll have time to teach him a lesson and have lunch with you." He kisses your forehead, only letting you down once you agree and seem okay with it. He would have to text his assistant on the way back to reschedule those meetings, he thinks to himself.
This way he could take his time with this sinner who deserves much more than a quick and easy electrocution death, and then take the time to enjoy the lunch he was supposed to have with you.
He takes a deep breath now, now that he has you safe and a plan to enact. Everything was back to normal and within his control like it should be. And this sinner? This sinner he would make an example of, to ensure no one else is stupid enough to try this again. It's been a bit since he's really gotten to enjoy his more sadistic tendencies, and this was the perfect opportunity.
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Olivier Awards
We'll be looking into mainly photos so take this with a grain of salt.
Facial expressions can be lost and because this is an award show people pose and try to look their best.
The body language in this post will be more prominent because it could be an unconscious decision on how DT/MS/GT/AL show themselves. On the other hand, they've been taught (most likely) how to be in award shows and in front of cameras. The facial expression can be forced because they're aware that they are being photographed.
I most of the videos and images are sourced from @ingravinoveritas @/fuckyeahgoodomens and @/michaelsheendaily (not tagging on purpose) plus a few others. Because there's many videos here I'll be linking the posts.
First off, we'll be looking at MS/AL during the red carpet. That includes the videos and photos taken. The photos and videos happen at the same time so we'll have a better image of the body language and facial expressions.
The first thing want to point out is how Michael and Anna smile. Michael, throughout the carpet, had the same smile. One way that people try to make their smile look real is by smiling really big. Even though his eyes are smaller and the corners of the lips are lifted, the cheekbones aren't engaged, just lifted because the wide smile is stretched (except for the last two images).
Here we can see how he goes from his genuine smile to his default 'photograph' smile. Doesn't mean he wasn't happy to engage with people, he was just posing for the camera.
Something to note about Anna is that she doesn't smile much in her daily life so when she does smile, real or not, she doesn't know how it really feels and it looks off. It's asymmetrical, her lips stretch out but never curve up and her eyes + eyebrows stay the same. Her cheeks are always tense as well (I'll go more into details on another post). The only instances of her where it seems like she's really smiling is one on her instagram from Michael's 54th birthday and the image below.
This is them arriving (please correct me if I'm wrong) to the awards. Michael walks along side Anna, not too in front, just enough to guide as they spot the cameras or people.
They aren't looking at each other, but Anna is naturally smiling. Her face isn't tense, eyes smaller, corner of lips raised, cheekbones also raised and her eyes are soft.
Michael acting surprised at the sight of the people. His eyebrows are raise and hit mouth open, but the white part of his upper eyelid isn't visible. He's just putting up a show. That could be why Anna is smiling or they couldn't been talking or any other reason.
These three videos are also from the event. The first two on the carpet and the third before the posed pictures.
As far as body language goes, Michael is more often than not, in front of Anna while she holds his arm. In a dynamic/relationship whoever stands in front or leads while holding hands is the one who's the 'leader'. This role is usually taken by the man in a man/woman dynamic/relationship.
Michael doesn't tug at her or drags her along. He gives her a cue 'okay let's go' doesn't wait for a verbal response, then they both move and walk semi-parallel to each other. He's not dragging her or walking ten steps in front, they're walking as a unit. They've been to enough award shows to have a good idea of where to go and how to look.
Now the third video (before the carpet photos) is them taking pictures with people. That's also where the gif above took place.
The video starts on 00:10. Anna moves past Michael while touching his left shoulder to go greet/take pictures with fans. Michael turns at the touch then goes back to the fans. Even though he's far away from the camera, a smile can still be seen.
She stops for a second next to him before she gives her autograph to a fan. As she's walking to Michael, she's looking down then looks to her left until she see's the man signaling to her, asking for an autograph. She's surprised - eyes widen, stiff face. Anna takes pictures with two other people.
Throughout this video, neither of them interact except for one second during the beginning when Anna touches Michael.
Michael continues going down the line as Anna takes pictures with a few people then follow Michael. They both don't look at each other, even when Anna is waiting for Michael, she looks around or at other people. Michael is focusing on the people in line and not paying attention to where Anna is. He continues to move without her.
He never turns to where she is. They never touch each other, only when the press are taking pictures.
Overall they aren't hostile to each other. They just don't care what the other is doing. Michael is there to give an award and Anna is there as his plus one (most likely). When they are not longer close to the fans and it's just them two in front of the press, then they pay attention to where the other is. However, there is never any eye contact there either. Michael gives her the cue then they move, but never look at each other. In couples (or people who have feelings for each other) eye contact or the want to look at their partners faces is mostly present.
Focusing just on Michael -
He's tired. His smile throughout the evening, let's his smile fall when people aren't looking directly at him very and picks it back up quickly. In the video where he tells Anna to go, his smile stiffens and the corner of his lips go more horizontal.
Here, Michael is leaning towards Anna, but his body isn't touching her much and she's standing with her back straight. He has his picture smile (really forced) while she's trying to do a smile. The left corner of her left (our right) is slightly raised, but her eyes and brows stay the same.
The name for the line that runs from the corner of the nose down to the corner of the lips is called the nasolabial fold or nasolabial furrow. Her left fold is also raise (because of her lips) making her face be in a sneer, which shows disgust, displeasure, viewing something/one as inferior, despise, viewing something/one as worthless, and is usually always tied with feelings of superiority. Depending on the situation that face is also made when feeling impatient and wanting to move things along.
Her left eye, if you zoom in, you can see that it's slightly more closed than the right eye, but that has nothing to do with this. She tends to smile asymmetrically all the time. People usually always have one eye smaller than the other and with time it can change which eye is smaller. Morphosychology talks about this personality traits tied with the facial structure (if you would like a post about that let me know).
----
Now in this video MS/AL and DT/GT are edited to be side by side.
With David and Georgia, David in most award shows, looks down to speak with her during pictures (it happens a lot so it could be planned or a habit).
David's and Georgia's smile look more bright. We can see their face relaxed as they smile for the camera after they speak to each other. He is also leaning towards her as we can also see in this image:
Their chests are pressed together and his hand (a guess) is probably located on her mid to lower back. Georgia's head is tilting up, to where David's head is. Their smiles are stiff because a picture is being taken but all in all, they are comfortable with physical contact. David's chin is also up, but that's his default so it doesn't play much of a role. Like stated in previous analysis, sticking your chin out is a way of defiance, aggression, or self confidence in some cases.
In this video David is talking about how he hadn't done any Shakespeare plays in over ten years and how he never thought he would do Macbeth. His composure is relaxed, but still nervous. He took two breathes in which means he's trying to calm himself because he's nervous or agitated.
David and Georgia, like MS/AL, had forced smiles for the camera. Stiff, eyes stayed the same, cheekbones aren't lifted.
The first image shows pure smugness and pride. Left lip corner is raised while the right one stays neutral. With asymmetrical smile, they usually mean smugness, feelings of superiority that's why you see a lot of people who label themselves as "alphas" smile like that.
David, perceives himself as attractive or feels like he looks good.
The second and third images are him smiling genuinely. Between David and Michael, David was more relaxed and felt content with most of the evening.
Here's more pictures of him genuinely smiling.
The forth image is a fake/forced smiled. There's more pictures of him forcing a smile, but like Michael, there's too many and would be overkill to put point out all of them.
How to spot a fake/forced smile: tense face, eyes and/or brows stay the same, cheekbones are only lifted but not engaged, corner of lips stretched or horizontal, and the eyes look neutral/without emotion. There's a sweet, happy, or prideful look in the eyes when it's a sincere smile.
In regards to Georgia, her presence there doesn't bother David and he makes sure to include her. They communicate throughout the evening and Georgia, from what I found, kept to herself. Her composure was neutral, no outward discomfort.
I already talked about the video backstage where she is signaling and probably telling the other three what should happen.
---
During the award ceremony -
Michael in this video is presenting an award. He appears on 0:30.
This is his main face throughout the video. Tense smile. Not saying it's not real, because there are moments in the video where it looks real, however we can also see how forced it is after every pause in his sentences. It is real, just tense. Could be out of nervousness or some sort of inner conflict/tension on his part.
David during the ceremony, was genuine in his reactions. His surprise -
also genuine. The times the camera was on him, showed his real reaction.
----
Now moving onto this moment:
The second image is edited by me and the black is there so the lights in the back doesn't hurt our eyes too much.
Getting this out of the way: their smiles are fake because is picture is being taken and they're aware of what their faces are doing. So we'll be looking at the body language.
Now, Georgia isn't entirely comfortable with Michael.
He's touching her waist, not holding. Michael isn't pulling her closer, just resting his hand there. His left hand could be on David's waist or somewhere on his back.
Georgia is also resting her right hand on Anna's waist. Anna, from the look of her shoulder, is resting her left arm on Georgia or Michael.
David's right hand somewhere on Michael's back.
Edit: it's been pointed out that David could have his right hand on Michael's right shoulder. If you zoom into the image, you see something on his shoulder, that doesn't look like part of the suit.
Looking into Anna and Georgia, they both seem to be comfortable enough around each other.
Georgia's lips are pressed thinly against each other. She's either not comfortable with Anna - being this close to her or having to touch her - or she's not comfortable with Michael touching her waist. There's discomfort on her part.
Anna is just trying to pose her best for the picture. She's probably leaning closer to Georgia so the picture turns out good, or because she's comfortable with Georgia and naturally leaned in. Could be either.
Georgia's left arm is stiff. Maybe because she's holding her clutch back and/or doesn't want to touch Michael too much. He's a step back to where she's standing, probably so they all fit in the picture.
Looking at it the other way, she's blocking him. Kind of like when you don't want to speak to the person next to you, so you just turn your back to them. In this case, Michael does have his hand on her waist so her discomfort could come from there. Or that's her forced smile face.
Both David's and Michael's smiles are for the camera. Doesn't mean that they weren't happy or anything like that. Just means they were posing for the camera.
Moving onto the body language. Because they are taking a picture, we have to take into account that both David and Michael are leaning both to the right (their right) so that they all fit in the picture.
Usually, when two (or three) people lean towards each other or lean in the same direction, that means they get along well. In couple, this is an excellent sign that they are getting along in recent times.
David and Michael both leaned in, while Georgia and Anna stayed standing straight.
David having the Olivier's folder in front of him could be in order to show the logo or because there isn't any other comfortable way for him to hold. Based on the situation, it doesn't seem like he felt the need to hide or somehow defend himself by putting the folder (a barrier) in front of him.
Over all, for David and Georgia, the evening was tranquil even when we take into consideration the backstage video.
Michael felt the need to have to plaster on a big smile. Could be that he was having a rough day/week or just wasn't feeling at 100%. Anna was like usual.
I feel the need to reiterate that just because their smiles for the cameras weren't all that genuine, doesn't mean that they weren't happy to see each other and by they I mean David and Michael. We don't have any images or videos of them interacting normally. Mostly just with Georgia and Anna and the backstage video, we only see the from above, not their faces and we don't know for certainly what they were talking about.
If I missed anything, please let me know! This day was very long and full of images and videos, so I could've missed something.
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How does the craving/yearning correlate to the NPD and BPD for Oswald and Edward? Mostly curious for your thoughts about it
tbh that tag was me going insane I don't fully agree with it now per se. I don't like the original post I made where I compared them to yearning and craving because I compared their relationship to that instead of who they are as people, which was my thought process. I'm not sure if I was right about yearning and borderline idealization, but i do think i was right about craving and narcissism (btw I only made that post because i was watching Contrapoints video about the fucking TWILIGHT books, and since i have the intelligence of a mere banana I connected her opinions on yearning and craving back to nygmobblepot and mental disorders because that is how I show my appreciation to anything I find cool. keep in mind the definition I am using here is stolen from her and she took notes from Shakespeare, Taylor Swift, twilight as previously mentioned, and SEINFELD FOR HER THOUGHTS. Still, she is a great YouTuber go watch her she is one of my favorites.)
what I'm considering craving as definition wise is a desire that can be satisfied but only for a moment, constantly needing to be refilled. its like craving drinking or eating, it will satisfy you but you will constantly need to do it over and over and over in your life, it can be fulfilled unlike yearning but never for long, you will always need to refill it since it will never stick. craving is also less personal than yearning since it doesn't acknowledge something is deeply missing, it provides a temporary solution for something that will which makes craving end up resembling more so something like lust instead of limerence
i view narcissistic supply similarly to this. narcissism as a disorder is just trying to keep your false self up, it can be satisfied for a while but it will always still need to be refilled because of the fact its not a genuine love for yourself. narcissism is like having an addiction to feeling special in a way, that's why the craving for admiration never stops, because since they don't naturally feel content about themselves, narcissism as a coping mechanism works as tricking both the self and others that false, idealized self is real. the craving itself is a cope to hide the yearning in a way, the craving here only exists because of a deeper deficit. edward is not aware that he yearns for love and admiration, he thinks that he can just get a bit of it and be content forever, but he wont. ( fun fact the false grandiose self is actually the main difference in bpd and npd, they do have alot of simliarties like projection and splitting and a want for admiration and love but borderlines dont have that false idealized grandiose self unless they also have npd on top of their bpd. this is probablyyyy why borderlines are more easier to maniuplate since narcissistic defendses are stronger and more durable than borderline ones, there is a reason borderlines often split on themselves while narcissists don't that much)
yearning is wanting your other half, it's wanting to inherently fill out that incomplete part of yourself. You could make a connection between BPD and yearning since things like idealization and chronic feelings of emptiness but I feel less confident in this one. the yearning will also never be fulfilled just like the craving is, Oswald thinks that he will feel fine when he finally gets it but his idea of love is idealized. That version of love he craves does not exist since love requires effort and work, and even if it did he would still fail at it because of his cannibalistic nature when it comes to love, nothing is enough for him, he will hold unto someone until their bones break. that cannibalistic desire ends up becoming similar to the craving in my head a little, because nothing will be enough. he also uses people to bring himself up ego but doesn't want to reflect on how his actions are selfish, pretty much downplaying or playing victim about it and acting like he is not as bad as the other criminals are ( both of them do this, to be honest, I would say it is different but not really besides which one plays up the other as a irrational fool more than a malicious monster out to get them and vise versa, they devalue and demonize each other in the same ways; both feel like the other just lied about ever caring for them)
basically what I am getting at here is ed thinks that he can just get his needs met if he does things that will only satisfy him temporally ( since he's a "cold logician MY ASS) and will not stop the constant, unaware yearning for genuine love while Oswald thinks he will be satisfied if he gets that, when he won't, he will want more and more until there is nothing left but bones. Oswald thinks his desire could be fulfilled perfectly if he just met the right person but no one will satisfy that hunger, he pretends he does not crave like Edward does but he still does. both of them have the same problems but both of them try to hide them differently and express them differently, edward is more ashamed looking like he is irrational and Oswald is more ashamed of being SEEN as a monster. ( neither of them like being viewed like that but both of them clearly have a preference for a different insult, edward just convinces himself that they are basically just ants who don't know better and oswald goes by a more the ends justify the means approach, edward does want to be loved and admired but he thinks that is not possible in the more traditional oswald way, so he does a bunch of crime shit instead to prove how smart he is and to get that love and admiration)
edward has the same yearning as Oswald but he pretends he doesn't, Oswald has the same craves as edward does but pretends he doesn't
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