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leahwllmsn · 4 months

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august slipped away into a moment in time (‘cause it was never mine) | alessia russo x reader

Alessia has someone else and you should’ve known better.

; angst, cheating

I’m in love with Alessia Russo. It was that thought that kept on repeating in your head as Alessia’s blue eyes stared right into yours. With that thought playing on a loop in your head, your gaze dropped to her lips and you unconsciously bit your own. You saw she did the same and you almost, almost leaned forward to capture those plump lips in yours.

But this was Alessia Russo and Alessia Russo had a boyfriend and you knew it wouldn’t be right.

It took everything in you to get your back off the lockers and push her away.

You didn’t even remember how you got into that position in the first place—with Alessia inches away from you, pinning you against the lockers of the changing room.

Shaking your head, you swore that you would never let yourself get that close to Alessia again. You didn’t think you’d have the willpower to resist next time.

But nothing ever went your way and next time came a second later.

Alessia grabbed your wrist and tugged you closer. It was the closest you had ever been to each other and you knew you wouldn’t be able to resist.

“Alessia…” you whispered. You didn’t know what she wanted from you. Alessia had someone, why would she want you?

“Kiss me.” Alessia whispered back and you thought you had to be dreaming. But she repeated her words once again and you felt all the air rush out your body.

“Are you sure?”

You knew that you were crazy to even think about agreeing to the girl in front of you. But having Alessia so close after years of admiring her from afar, you were starting to feel every selfish bone in your body.

So when Alessia nodded, you didn’t waste another second before you pulled her neck and crashed your lips together.

Her hands immediately went to your hips, lifting you up and pushing you against the wall. You knew the door was unlocked and anyone could come in at any moment, but you didn’t care. Besides, it was off-season so no one was likely to be here. So you wrapped your legs around Alessia’s waist and enjoyed the soft moans coming from the blonde as you ran your hand through her hair.

It was the middle of summer. You were exploring the Arsenal training grounds—your future club once the new season starts. The staff told you that you were welcome to use the facilities before training resumed, allowing you to familiarize yourself with the place. Nobody had any more reason to be here since the season has ended, so it was a surprise when you found Alessia Russo doing some shooting practicing on the empty field.

It was another surprise to have your training kit forgotten on the floor as you spent hours worshiping every single inch of Alessia Russo’s body.

But I can see us lost in the memory

August slipped away into a moment in time

'Cause it was never mine

You’ve met Alessia a number of times, your paths always seemed to intertwine. Her playing for England as a forward and you for the Netherlands as a defender, it was inevitable, really.

You two were the same age, thus making appearances for the U15 squad at around the same time until you both made it to the senior squad, at the same time too.

But your relationship with Alessia never went further than the typical hellos and how are yous, which seemed ridiculous with the amount of times your paths crossed. You didn’t even think you two could be considered as friends.

Still though, you managed to develop a crush on her, which over the years, seemed to only magnified—a result of your longing glances from afar on and off the pitch, you watching her post-match interviews from the side like she hung the stars in the sky (plus you watching all the videos of her on Youtube—it was a bit pathetic), and how you hang on to every word your teammates said whenever they shared stories about the great Alessia Russo.

Despite all that, you didn’t try to form some sort of relationship with her. You weren’t the most confident kid on the block. You were fine with that though—admiring her from afar.

Alessia had always seemed to be a galaxy away from your reach.

You knew the incident that happened at the locker room—stupidly charming Alessia Russo looking at you like you were the eighth wonder of the world and not the other way around, it was a nice change for once—you knew it was a one-in-a-million type of thing, and although it was wrong, you couldn't help it. It was all the pent up longing emotions.

You promised yourself that you weren’t going to let your feelings for Alessia clouded your judgment anymore. As much as you wanted it to happen again, you knew better.

Turns out, the incident at the locker room happened again a week later. (You hated how weak you were for Alessia).

You went with your parents to have dinner at their friends’ house, who turned out to be Alessia’s parents and you couldn’t help how wide your eyes went at the sight of none other than Alessia opening the front door.

Unlike last time, Alessia didn’t have her training gear on. This Alessia had a pair of skinny jeans and a white crop top that slightly showed off her abs and you felt so full of a sin for having memories of ripping Alessia’s top while she was with her parents.

“Mr and Mrs y/l/n, happy to see you again,” Alessia greeted them with a hug and a smile on her face. She turned to you and you were surprised when Alessia went to hug you too. “Happy to see you again too, y/n.”

“Oh, I didn’t know you two knew each other!” Your mom’s tone was full of surprise and you didn’t blame her one bit—you usually kept to yourself. The only people your parents were familiar with were your Netherlands teammate, Viv and Jill.

“Just recently,” Alessia answered, her eyes fixated on you. “We spent hours getting to know each other last week.” You want to wipe that damn smirk off her face. “We are going to be teammates after all.”

You cleared her throat, looking away. You definitely spent hours getting to know each other, but it most definitely wasn’t what your parents were thinking about.

“Oh yes! That’s so lovely!” Your mom laughed. “You must bring her out more often, Alessia. We keep on worrying that our schatje will be stuck with two friends for the rest of her life.”

You grimaced at your mom. “I do have friends.”

“Schatje?”

Your dad went on to explain that it was a term of endearment, mentioning how you didn’t really like it when they called you that, and how you especially didn’t like it when they called you y/n/n.

“Oh that’s a cute one,” Alessia told your dad and your scowl deepened further. You hated how Alessia’s eyes glimmered in amusement.

“It’s just a shortened version of my name,” you waved off. “It’s not that hard to say the whole thing.”

“Any other nickname of hers I should know about?” Alessia grinned at your mom.

“Didn’t you say you two spent hours with each other last week?” Your dad asked, head shaking in amusement.

You could only pray that your face wasn’t turning completely red. “It—it didn’t come up.”

Alessia only laughed and ushered them inside. When your parents were out of earshot, Alessia whispered to your ears, “Can’t wait to know which of your names will be my favourite to scream out.”

You couldn’t concentrate on the entire dinner.

And I can see us twisted in bedsheets

August sipped away like a bottle of wine

'Cause you were never mine

Alessia’s face was the first thing you saw when you opened your eyes. She was looking at you, lying on her side with one hand under her head. Her blonde hair was messy, the sunlight seeping through the curtains made her skin glow more than usual. You thought that she was the most beautiful girl you had ever seen.

You cleared your throat. “Good morning.”

“Good morning,” Alessia said back. “Thanks for sleeping over.”

“Thanks?” you laughed.

Alessia hummed, grinning. “Yes, thanks. You are so good with your—”

“Less!” you immediately put your hand on her mouth and she laughed in response.

“I’m only joking,” Alessia took your hand and intertwined it with hers. “You’re fun to talk to.”

“We only talked for… an hour,” you noted.

“Still,” Alessia shrugged. “I really like talking to you.”

You went quiet after that. You noted how the silence was far from awkward despite you two barely knowing each other.

Alessia’s hands moved to caress your cheeks and you were starting to feel the weight of her touch. What were you doing? You had no right to be in Alessia’s bed. You knew how wrong it was.

But at the same time, it felt so right that you couldn’t help but bury yourself deeper into Alessia’s bedsheets, swallowing yourself with scents of the blonde girl.

“Why are you staring at me?” you whispered.

“Because you’re beautiful.”

You scoffed. “I’m not.”

“You are,” Alessia furrowed her brows. “You’re very beautiful, y/n.”

“There are more beautiful people.”

“Like who?” Alessia looked curious.

“You.”

You had front row seats to the way Alessia’s cheek turned a brighter red and you enjoyed how she tried to act unaffected by your words.

“Well, I am beautiful.” Alessia said, her voice teasing.

“Aaand I’m leaving.” you sat up, pretending to leave.

“No,” Alessia whined, tugging you back down. “But you’re more beautiful, is what I meant to say.”

You snuggled into her chest. You wondered how something so wrong could feel so right.

“Should we put some clothes on?”

“Why?” Alessia asked, her hand gently stroking your back.

“Because,” you stopped her hand that was trailing further and further down. “Your parents can come in at any second.”

“True.” Despite that, Alessia made no move to untangle herself from you, only hugging you tighter.

You giggled. “So can you let go of me or…?”

“This feels nice.”

“But your parents—”

“I locked the door.”

You playfully slapped her arms. “You couldn’t say that in the beginning?”

Alessia giggled and kissed the top of your head.

You closed your eyes and sighed in content. It felt really nice being in Alessia’s arms. With her this close to you, you could pretend that she was yours—even if it was just for a moment.

“Lessi?”

“Hm?”

“This does feel nice, doesn’t it?”

“It does.”

“What are you doing for the rest of the summer?” you asked.

“Spending time with you, if you’re free.” Alessia answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“I’ll make myself free for you then.” That wasn’t what you should have answered. You should’ve resisted Alessia’s grip and gone home that day and erased any memories of her.

“How does every day this summer sound?”

But you decided that being with Alessia was too addicting.

“It sounds perfect.”

So you let yourself pretend a little longer.

less: come join me at the beach

y/n: it’s so hot out today

less: it’s the perfect weather

less: plus I miss you

y/n: fine

Your back

Beneath the sun

Wishing I could write my name on it

“Told you it’s the perfect weather.”

You looked to your right. Alessia was laying on her front, her back in full display and you wanted nothing more than to run her hands up and down the bare skin. But there were people around and you were sure that what they had could only happen behind closed doors.

“Yeah.” you turned your attention back to your book, but you couldn’t concentrate on what you were reading. Not when you could feel Alessia’s gaze on you.

“What book are you reading?”

“Anna Karenina.”

“Oh, I’ve read that before.”

You looked at her, amused. “You have?”

Alessia laughed. “Why do you sound so surprised?”

You shrugged, a smile on your lips. “You don’t seem like the type who reads books.”

“Hey! I do!” she lifted her head up, resting her chin on the palm of her hands. “Anna had an affair right? And she ran away with her lover to Italy, or something.”

You hummed. “Like what we’re doing right now, isn’t it? Minus the running away part.”

Alessia didn’t say anything at that and you realized how they had never talked about their situation before.

“Less—”

“Please don’t tell anyone,” It was the first time that you heard her sound so timid. “I’m still with my boyfriend.”

Your heart broke at Alessia’s words. You did know from the start that she had someone else and that this wasn’t meant to be anything more than a love affair, but still, it hurt.

“I won’t,” you tried her best to smile. “I won’t tell anyone.”

“I know it’s not fair to you,” she broke your eye contact, her fingers started playing aimlessly with the sand. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m okay,” you replied. You focused your gaze back to your book, trying your best to not show your emotions—at least, not now, not when Alessia was in front of you. “I’ve always known you have him.”

It was far from fine. You felt horrible. You knew a million reasons why this whole thing was wrong.

But you were in love with Alessia Russo and you just wanted to be selfish for a little longer.

So when a notification popped up in Alessia’s phone and you saw a boy kissing her cheek on the lockscreen, you pretended you didn’t see it.

Will you call when you're back at school?

I remember thinkin' I had you

Meeting everyday became a frequent thing and soon enough, Alessia was everywhere.

You would walk down to your kitchen to find her already having breakfast with your parents. Or on days where you woke up earlier than usual, you would jog to Alessia’s house and jump on top of her sleeping figure (to which Alessia would always complain but you could still see the hint of a smile).

You would have sleepovers and mornings together before you two decided to play some football together, it was the one thing you two loved more than anything.

If the security guards and the few staff around started noticing how you and Alessia were always together, they never mentioned it.

Once you two are done, Alessia would drag you off the field to an unused closet and you truly hated how you were getting used to the comfort of tight places with the amount of time you spent hiding away.

“You know,” Alessia trailed a finger down your chest. “You’re the best one I ever had.”

You rolled her eyes. “I bet you say that to everyone.”

You two were on the floor, your clothes spread out haphazardly around you. You were laying on your back, Alessia on top of you. Despite the cold, hard floor, you enjoyed every second of having Alessia’s weight pressed against you.

“No, it’s true,” Alessia smiled flirtatiously. “Who knew? y/n l/n, a monster in bed.”

“You’re always so blunt,” you laughed and leaned forward to peck Alessia’s lips. “We’re not even in a bed right now.”

“Does your back hurt?”

“Just a bit.” Alessia looked worried at your answer so you quickly flashed her a reassuring smile. “It’s okay though, I’m getting used to the floor.”

Alessia shook her head and smiled amusedly at you. “Maybe I should buy an inflatable bed.”

You hummed. “And how will you explain to everyone when they see you carrying a bed to this tiny closet?”

Alessia rested her head on your chest and you instantly wrapped your arms around Alessia. “I’ll just say that it’s none of their business.”

You laughed in response and hugged Alessia tighter.

“Are you hungry?” Alessia asked.

“I’m always hungry.”

“I knew you’d say that.” Alessia’s tone was full of endearment and you couldn’t help the smile that spread across your lips. “Let me sleep for five minutes then we’ll grab some food, okay?”

Before you could reply, you could already hear Alessia’s soft snores. You let out a chuckle, your hand tracing circles on Alessia’s back as you stared at the ceiling.

You didn’t know how long this would last. You were naive to think it would be forever.

You ended up bumping into Alessia’s ex-teammate at lunch. You and Alessia were standing outside a sushi restaurant, waiting to be seated, when you saw two familiar figures walking towards you.

You tugged at your intertwined hands. “Less, isn’t that-”

“Mary and Ella.” you weren't surprised when Alessia immediately dropped your hand.

Alessia looked anxious, she was looking around and you wondered if she was going to ask you to leave.

You could see Mary and Ella recognizing Alessia as they walked closer and closer. And once they were right in front of you, Ella spoke up. “Less? Thought you were too tired to join us!”

“I am.” Alessia answered quickly. Her posture was tense and any trace of smile that she had on previously had now completely disappeared.

It was then that Alessia’s friends noticed you standing next to Alessia. They looked at you and their faces lit up in recognition. “Hi, y/n! How have you been, mate? Did you and Less come here to have lunch?”

Alessia moved away from you and you would be lying to say that it didn’t hurt.

“Oh, we didn’t come together. Must be a coincidence.” You weren't surprised at Alessia’s answer, after all no one was supposed to know about them.

Mary and Ella didn’t seem to believe Alessia, so you stepped back, moving to leave. “Yeah, no, I saw Alessia standing by herself and went to say hello.”

When Alessia didn’t say anything else, still keeping her eyes glued to the floor, you bid goodbyes to Mary and Ella, turned around and left.

less: I’m sorry

Back when we were still changin' for the better

Wanting was enough

For me, it was enough

To live for the hope of it all

Cancel plans just in case you'd call

Alessia didn’t call or text you again for a few days and you decided that you weren't going to be the first one to do so.

But despite everything, you missed Alessia.

And it was for that reason that you spent your mornings waiting by your phone in hopes that a notification from Alessia would appear.

When night time came and there was still nothing from the blonde girl, you decided that waiting was hopeless, you turned off your phone and get ready for bed. It felt like an endless cycle.

You managed to turn off all the lights and slid under the covers, yet every time you closed your eyes, all you could see was you and Alessia tangled in bedsheets.

You wondered how you could forget about Alessia when she was all you think about.

You woke up in the middle of the night, exactly four days since you last spoke with Alessia. The first thing you noticed was the sudden weight against your back. You looked down and saw an arm encircling your waist and you were surprised that Alessia managed to enter your room without waking you up (Alessia was the noisiest and clumsiest person you had ever met).

You sighed and turned around. Alessia wasn’t asleep. After hours of watching her sleep, you could tell when she was only pretending. So you leaned forward and placed your forehead against hers.

Alessia’s eyes slowly blinked open and despite it being dark, the moonlight from the window was able to illuminate Alessia’s features perfectly.

“Hi,” Alessia whispered. “Your parents let me in.”

“I thought you were never going to come,” you confessed.

“I’m late, but I’m here.” Alessia brought her hand up to your face, trailing a finger from your forehead down to your chin.

You offered a small smile. Were you pathetic for finally feeling at ease with Alessia next to you?

“About the thing with Ella and—” she started but you quickly interrupted her.

“It’s okay.” It wasn’t.

You knew what Alessia did was unnecessary. You two were going to be teammates—heck, you two were friends. There was no reason to hide any friendship. But you guessed Alessia didn’t want to be associated with you at all and it hurt.

So, no, it wasn’t okay.

But you were in love with Alessia and you didn’t want to lose her. “No one can know, right?” you gave her a small smile—it didn’t quite reach your eyes.

You’d take having Alessia in secret than not having her at all.

So much for summer love and saying "us"

'Cause you weren't mine to lose

“My boyfriend’s back in town.”

Alessia said it so casually one night that you were caught off guard. Your hand that was gently stroking Alessia’s back stopped mid-air and you slowly sat up, leaning against the headboard and bringing the covers closer to your chest.

All at once, all the dread that you had been trying not to feel came rushing in and after a month of running around with Alessia by your side in secret, reality had finally sunk in and you couldn’t do anything but hope that after everything, you meant something to her.

You knew it was a long shot, but you hoped she would choose you.

“Right.” you replied, because what else were you supposed to say? You didn’t even know where he had gone, you never asked about him and Alessia never talked about him either.

The only thing you knew about Alessia’s boyfriend was that he had something that you so badly wanted.

Alessia fished for a t-shirt that was on the floor and put it on. (You tried to count just how many of your clothing Alessia had brought home and never returned).

The blonde sat cross-legged in front of you. “What’s with the face?”

“What face?”

She gently touched your forehead. “You’re frowning.”

“Oh,” you shook her head, giving a chuckle. “I don’t know.”

You were quiet for a while. You knew how this night would end—you hoped you were wrong though.

But when Alessia smiled and it was a smile so wistful, you knew that you were going to end up with a broken heart.

“You made my summer more bearable, you know,” Alessia admitted. “My family’s a drive away but I see them all the time and I would hang out with the few friends I have here sometimes, but with you, it was so… exhilarating. You made me feel so many things at once, I always felt like I couldn’t keep up.”

You stayed quiet. This wasn’t fair. You did know she had someone else, but after everything you had been through this August, did everything mean nothing to her?

“You’re going to end things, aren’t you?” you spoke up, your voice barely a whisper.

Alessia didn’t answer and it was the confirmation you needed.

“I know what we did was wrong,” you continued. “It will never be right and I’ll always feel guilty about it. But don’t I mean something to you, Less?”

Alessia pulled her knees to her chest, a sigh escaping her lips. “You mean everything to me.”

“Then?” your voice was desperate. “Why are you still with him?”

“It’s complicated.”

You scoffed. “What can be so complicated?”

Alessia gave a small shrug and didn’t elaborate further. So you took a deep breath and leaned forward, taking her hands in yours. “Be with me.”

“y/n… I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I just can’t.”

“But I love you.”

Alessia’s head immediately snapped up. “You can’t.”

You furrowed your brows. Who was she to tell you that you couldn't feel that way? “But I do.”

“We can’t do this anymore, y/n,” Alessia took her hands away from your grip. “Summer’s over.”

“Was that all I ever was to you? A summer fling?”

Alessia didn’t reply, instead she stood up and put her pants on, rummaging around for her bag.

“Lessi,” your voice was a plea. “You’re leaving?”

She took a deep breath and you could see how teary her eyes were. “Please don’t chase after me, y/n. We can’t do this anymore.”

Stopping at the door, she turned to you one last time and whispered an “I’m sorry”.

That was the last time Alessia stepped foot in your bedroom.

You should’ve known better.

Parking your car at the training ground, you looked around and saw how alive this place was after days of secret moments shared between you and Alessia through the barren place. Your heart stings at the memories and you couldn’t help but search for Alessia. With every move you took—stepping out of the car, opening the back door to retrieve your kit bag, locking your car—your mind always returned to her.

And when you finally spotted her, standing by the entrance as she kissed her boyfriend goodbye, their hands staying intertwined until he walked away, you heard your heart break in two.

You should’ve known better.

Your eyes met and you still hoped that Alessia would change her mind.

But Alessia looked away and you had to swallow the bitter reality that she would never be yours.

Walking to the locker room, you wondered how you could ever find someone else when the only person that you wanted was Alessia.

“y/n, hey! Welcome! How was your summer?”

You shrugged. You didn’t even know who had asked you the question, you kept your eyes on your kit bag, rummaging around for your training kit, not bothering to look sideways.

“I feel you,” the girl continued. “August was somehow the worst month.”

You scoffed, your heart breaking and breaking at all the memories. “I agree.”

It was at that moment that Alessia entered the room, hair in a ponytail, looking everywhere but you.

You wondered how quickly she was able to forget about August when you still had dreams of it every time you close your eyes.

When your first training with your new club ended, before you went home, you found a note in your locker. You hated how a piece of paper was able to make you cry, but you kept it in the pocket of your jacket, close to your heart, nonetheless.

You spent the whole ride home thinking about whether you should forget or keep your dreams of Alessia.

You decided that for now, having Alessia’s smile in your dreams was better than not seeing it at all.

I really am sorry for everything

- Lessi

#alessia russo x reader #alessia russo #woso #woso x reader #awfc x reader #alessia russo imagine #woso community

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scribblesofagoonerr · 3 months

Text

Family, not by blood but by choice instead | awfc x teen!reader

I previously posted on another account, however, I didn't realise a second blog wouldn't allow me to follow people, so I am reposting again on my new one.

Let me know what you all think!

You should have known, there was tell-tail signs all throughout the last several years and yet you were so blind about it all.

Your mother was a narcissist, she was manipulative and gaslighted you your whole life, you were always made out to the bad guy and she was the victim.

It was clear as day to anyone on the outside, but your nieve self just chose to always believe different about things.

Looking back on the several years of your childhood, you had always thought you upbringing wasn't completely terrible. It was just the 2 of you, only your mum and you ever since you could remember. Your parents ended up splitting up when you were really little but ever since that day, you had always been made out to be the reason for their seperation.

You had always wonderd how it could be your fault. You was only 3 when he walked out, so how could it really be like that?

"You were always too much to handle. He couldn't cope," Your mum would say, all of them long nights when you would wrap your tiny arms around her and sob your little heart out to her.

"I'm here, you've got me. You've only ever got me," Her words were embedded in your head from the day that you'd decided to try and have an open conversation about the possibility of finding your dad. "Why go and find him? Haven't I been good enough. I'm the one that's looked after you all of these years and this is the thanks that I get in return?" It was always something that like, always a guiltrip and it was something that she knew would work well.

The harsh statement of the most recent conversation with the older woman left a bitter taste in your mouth and make you question every single thing in life.

"Aren't you happy for me? I made it, mum!" You exclaimed, you were happy enough to want to share the news with your mum but you found so dumbfound by her response which left you feeling shame and judgement for even wanting to tell her.

"Yes you have made it Y/N but you know, you only have me to thank for that now, don't you?" Your mum once again found a way to make it about herself, regardless of the situation; It was always and only ever about her. "I'm sure that you can find some way to thank me though. All of those years and the amount I have spent on football boots for you. You'd be nowhere if it wasn't for me and I think you owe me now, don't you?" she told you.

You remember feeling stunned by her words, there was a lot of emotions that you had felt building up inside as you were ultimately confused how she'd somehow managed to twist this to make it all about herself but of course she was quick enough to make an excuse to end the call when she grew bored of talking to you.

You should have knew better, every phone call always ended up being the same way and it always left you with a feeling of guilt for making a life for yourself and that phone call that night wasn't any different. You had just been so excited to spill the news, however that excitment soon faded and was replaced by confused feelings of upset and anger once you'd told her, you fought to hold in your tears during the initial phone call but you were on the verge of breaking by the time she had hung up.

That phone call was the one you told her about making it into the national team, you had only been a part of Arsenal womens' first team for under a year and it felt like a massive achievement to be selected to represent your country and immediately you couldn't wait to share the news with your mum - You thought that she'd be pleased for you but you couldn't be further away from the truth.

Ever since that phone call, you had tried your hardest to distance yourself from your mum but it hurt to do that. The women was the only blood related family member that you had, it had only ever been the 2 of you, together through thick and thin.

Flash forward to now, the current time where you are sitting on the sofa, you had returned home after a long training session and you couldn't help but think about it that conversation on a constant loop in your head.

"You were quiet tonight kidda," Leah perched on the arm of sofa as looked at you in concern. "I'm about to start cookin' tea. How's chicken dippers and smiley faces sound, eh?" she suggested.

"Mhm. Sure that sounds good to me," You mumbled as you kept your eyes focused on nothing but the telly.

The truth was that the conversation was constantly replaying in your head; The conversation, the bitterness and manipulation, every time you thought about it it then made you think of every other time that something like this happened.

Maybe your childhood wasn't as great as you really thought?

"Okay then... Is there anything that you want to talk about?" The blonde questioned, hoping for a bit more of an insight on your mood; Returning from her own rehab session, the entire car ride had been quiet compared to normal and the older woman couldn't help but feel something wasn't right.

"Nope," You stood firm in your reply, shaking your head as you kept your eyes glued on the TV screen; You couldn't really say that you payed much attention to whatever it was, the noise was pretty much a blur that was playing in the background.

"Are you sure?" Leah questioned, frowning worriedly as she took note of the tears welling up in your eyes. "Kidda, what's the matter? You look like you're gonna cry." she stated.

"I... I'm fine," You mumbled, fighting hard to keep the tears at bay until you could escape to your bedroom and allow yourself to be vulnerable and alone. You'd always felt complete shame to show any sort of vunterability in front of anyone, let alone the blonde footballer who'd virtually taken you under her wing ever since you joined during the transfer break of 2022.

You'd always been told that crying showed weakness and you refused to be seen as weak.

"Okay," Leah was quick to drop the subject when she realised you weren't going to open and talk about things. "It's okay if you don't want to talk about it but just remember that I'm always here to listen. Anytime that you want too, alright?" she told you.

Unfortunately you were stubborn to not give in and blurt everything out in the open. You were just trying to wrap your head around the idea of things and see things for how they really were.

"Uh huh," You mumbled a response as you got up from the sofa and trudged in the direction of your bedroom.

Leah exhaled a sigh as she shook her head, herself heading into the kitchen to make a start on dinner. The woman knew better than to try and get you to talk if you didn't want too.

She'd always been around to witness the moments like this and the backlash of it. Of course the blonde knew this was all stemmed down to one person causing you to be like this and she hated that you were left upset every single time.

Every single time you and your mum fought, you'd always ended up quiet and in a bad mood, often resulting in lashing out at people around you as a coping mechanism.

None of the girls ever took it to heart, they were old enough to realise that none of your anger was directly aimed at them and there was bigger issues to be dealt with.

The Arsenal women all had their own opinions on the teens' mother but they would never voice them out loud to you. It wouldn't be fair on the youngest in the squad even after the countless times they had seen the girl upset by her own mums actions.

Ever since the teen had moved in, there had been several nights where Leah would be the one to comfort the girl and pick up the peices, waking up in the middle of the night to hear the teen's heartbroken sobs and feeling her own heart shatter every single time, wanting nothing more than take away any sort of pain the girl was experiencing.

It was heartbreaking for all of the team to witness and always sought out to comfort the teen no matter the situation. They knew that no matter they say, they couldn't stop her contacting her and she would be able to make her own decision soon enough when she turned 18 and until then they'd be the ones' to pick up the broken pieces when the mum let her daughter down.

They were your family, not by blood but by choice. You'd probably be lost without them sometimes.

"I... I should have realised sooner," You thought to yourself as you lay crumpled up on your bed that following night, it was almost near 4 in the morning and you were still wide awake with things racing through your head.

You couldn't help but think about things, how you should have noticed the tell-tail signs of her gaslighting you were old enough to properly realise, that was your first mistake.

Your second being that you believed her manipulation, she would always twist things to make her seem like the victim in all different situations - back when you were a child and even now as an adult.

How long it had taken you finally realise it after all of these years. Why hadn't you realised it sooner?

Without realising, you were sobbing aloud as you clutched on to your pillow tightly - the pent up anger was replaced by complete sadness and loss. You only ever wanted the approval of your mum about things and you fought so hard for it.

The phone call, the hopeful seal of approval... Every time it always seemed to be the same type of emotions when you spoke to your mum - It was a vicious cycle of emotional abuse, or so you'd been told from other people and you never wanted to believe it.

Only problem was that you'd not been able to see it yourself, even if it was clear as day. Even if regardless of a psychological therapist telling you this, you refused to believe them words. Nor your team mates, who had realised it the first time they had the chance to meet her and even then you wouldn't listen or hear them out.

It was your mum, your flesh and blood so how could she be like that? You had never been able to wrap your head around it.

The sound of sobs were what woke Leah up, she was quick to pad out of her bedroom and down the hall to where your bedroom was. "Kidda?" The women pushed the door open and her heart cracked to see you looking so distraught and vulnerable.

The blonde was quick to move to be right beside you, she was always the one to comfort you and she wouldn't ever stop doing that as long as you needed her.

"Hey, kidda. Come here," The blonde scooped you up in her arms and rocked you all while she ran her slender fingers through your messy bedhead. "You're okay. I'm here," she reassured you.

Leah was always patient enough to wait for you to calm down before she gave you the chance to speak, she wouldn't ever push you to talk if you didn't want too.

"L... Le," You cried aloud as you clutched onto her. You breath became shaky as sobs wracked your body.

"I'm here, it's okay," Leah spoke calmly, continuing to try and comfort you the best way she knew but she already knew it was going to be a long night ahead of them - An emotional night that would leave you drained tomorrow.

A vicious cycle of on a loop.

"Ready to tell me what's going on inside that head of yours, huh?" The blonde tried to carefully ask.

There was another brief pause of silence, nothing but the quiet sobs coming from you as the blonde continued to comfort you and reassure you that she was here and not leaving you.

To Leah's surprise, you did open up this time around, even if you didn't mean too.

"I should have realised. I should have... I should have realised," You made the mistake to speak aloud rather than think it like you thought you had.

"You should have realised what, kidda?" Leah questioned, confused about what you meant.

You snap your head in the blondes' direction as you bit your bottom lip, debating whether to be open with your thoughts that you tried so hard to keep buried inside.

"About my mum... I should have realised," You repeated your words as you fought the tears from spilling. "She's so... She's so-- Why does everything I tell her, why does it always get turned back around so it's about her?" That was it. You blurted out your own feelings - There was no hiding how you felt anymore.

Leah smiled sympathetically and moved onto the sofa to sit closer to you, wrapping her free arm around your shoulder to comfort you, "I... I don't know kidda," she spoke honestly.

"So many people, so many people have told me-- They've warned me about her but I have... I never wanted to listen," You confessed, the tears openly rolled down your cheeks and you probably looked a right blubbering mess but you couldn't stop your emotions pouring out. "And now... Now I finally realise how it's always been. Why is she like that, Le?" You asked.

"I can't say I know the answer to that one kidda, I wish I knew," Leah replied, exhaling a sigh as she couldn't fathem herself how a mother could be like that with her own child, she felt so much for the girl and always wished she could make the situation better for her. "Listen, I know it's hard but you've got us. All of us girls here at Arsenal and you're so loved by all of us." she told you.

"I... I just want her to love me, and she just... she doesn't even care about my feelings!" You stated, roughly wiping at your tear stained cheeks angrily to the point that you made them red. "Why does she always throw everything back in my face? Everything that I have ever done, she's always made it about her... Always!" you cried.

"I know, I know it hurts... I know it does," You kept your head buried in the blondes' chest as you hiccuped from the sudden breakdown in the middle of the night. "And I am sorry that you have to go through this. It's not fair on you kidda." Leah added, biting her bottom lip.

All of emotion had led you feeling exhausted in the end, you fought it hard to keep your eyes open as you lay slumped against the blonde woman.

"Come on let's get you back into bed, yeah? I mean you're almost falling asleep on me here, kidda," Leah joked with you, hoping for you to even crack a small smile as she gently moved you back to your bed and tucked you in under the duvet. "I'm so sorry you have had to deal with the kidda but you know you have a family here with us. We may not be blood but we really love you kidda." You heard the faint words spoken to you as you felt your eye lids close, completely warn out.

Sure, the Arsenal women weren't family by blood but instead they were family by choice and that was more important. They were there for you whenever you needed them and you knew you felt safe with them around. You truly felt happy with your chosen family.

#arsenal x reader #leah williamson #woso #woso imagine #woso fanfics #woso x reader #awfc x reader #light angst

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imraespace · 4 months

Text

FINAL: TOGETHER!

YUUTA X READER

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"at my dorm."

You mumbled as you shut off your phone.

You rose from your bed and walked over to your mirror, making sure you atleast presentable to visit Yuuta.

Of course he wouldn't judge you, you could look like a clown yet he wouldn't care.

After that, you put on some shoes and made your way towards his dorm.

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Even though he said it wasn't something bad, you still felt scared.

What if he changed his mind on everything?

But all negative thoughts left your mind as you arrived at his room.

Slowly, your hand reached up to the door and softly knocked on it.

You heard movements inside until it finally stopped and the door opened.

You were greeted with a smile as he let you in.

As you entered, you noticed how clean his room looked like, cleaner than yours.

"You can sit anywhere you like to, as long as you're comfortable I don't mind."

Of course he will say those words to you, that's one thing you love about him.

You decided to sit on his bed, taking the chance to get comfortable, you removed your shoes and crossed your legs on the bed.

Soon he joined you as well, closely sitting besides you as you both just stared at the door infront of you.

"..so what's the reason for my invitation here..?" You asked.

"Is it wrong to ask you out?" He joked.

But you didn't realize he was joking, quick to apologize but he stopped you.

"I'm kidding, there is an actual reason."

You turned your head towards his direction, him doing the same.

"Remember what I told you yesterday in the storage room..?" He asked.

The memory made you blush a bit yet you nodded.

"I wanna tell you more about it."

"More?" You replied.

"Yeah, I told no one about how I felt through out the school term."

He turned his whole body to face you, causing you to follow his movements.

"I think it was during the second week into the term when Inumaki and Maki told me that someone was going to join us with our short walk to the mall and then I found out that person was you, I think was the first time I actually really blush at a girl in my whole teenage life." He started.

"HUH?" You perked up at his words.

He stopped, letting you to talk.

"So long ago? I think my feelings for you developed like 2 weeks before Yuji made that gaming club. But you can't blame me, I barely hung out with you all anyways.." You told him.

"I know, that's why I was a bit shocked when I was told that you like me."

He started back the story he was telling you.

"Anyways, I kept it a secret, like you but really that was because I had Rika with me."

The mentioned of her name made you cringe internally.

"Do you miss her?" You asked him.

Quickly, he shook his head no.

"If it was younger me, I would've said yes but throughout the years she's been a bit manipulative, I'm kinda glad she's gone now.."

"For me, she had a false persona, ever since in the club room I had no clue she really acted like that. Maybe she didn't hurt me physically but she made me cry alot though." You confessed to the boy.

"She did..?" He mumbled.

And you nodded, which caused him to sigh.

"I'm sorry."

"It wasn't your fault." You comfort him.

"Oh, when I was told you had liked Yuji I think I just wanted to crawl in a hole and cry." He confessed as well.

"YOU DID?" You gripped his shoulders, on your knees this time.

Your reaction made him blush a bit yet he softly rested his hands on your hips, guiding you to sit back down on the bed, hand still on your hips.

"Yes but it's okay, we're together now right?" He asked.

You gave him a small "mhm", trying to ignore the fact that he has his HANDS is on your HIPS.

He let your hands stay on his shoulder as his own snaked around your waist, guiding you to come closer towards him.

Out of instinct, your hands snaked around his neck.

You both was now closer, but not close enough. Not yet.

"I think I got my point thought right?" He asked softly.

"That you had always liked me from the starting..?" You replied, in the same soft manner as he did.

He nodded and finally, he pulled you in closer.

Honestly you thought he wanted a hug but that thought suddenly left you when you felt his lips on yours.

Your heart began to race as you returned the kiss, closing your eyes and letting him take control.

It wasn't a heated kiss, it was a soft one that held a lot of love in it.

But one thing for sure was that his lips felt amazing on yours, you wondered if you might get drunk off of it..

Sadly though, he pulled away causing you to look at him.

"I'm sorry, you wanted more..?" He teased you a bit.

You looked away as the blush took over your face causing him to laugh a bit.

Suddenly you felt his arms that was wrapped around you, get a bit tighter as he rested his chin on your shoulder.

"So, I think this is where I ask you if we can be official." He mumbled.

"What do you think Yuuta?" You asked, out of habit actually.

"I think yeah.."

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MASTERLIST | <-PREVIOUS

TAGLIST: @milza12 @jayathelostdragon @instantmusico @aggtslva @norvacaine @polarbvnny @baku-boneless @forgot-the-acronym @zhochikennugget @oreologyx @iluhhjake @diogodxlot @iluv-ace @sasallie @pompompuriina @g0rep1ty @seventhcinema @deezy12299 @br66klynbaby @macimcnaron @mo0nforme @smashingdollz @mewju @bakarinnie @yoyo-yui @peptox @mint129106 @virisdescent @saesofficialwife @kaeuri @mentallyunstablemanlover @youhyakuya

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note: it's finished... what do I write abt now.

also writing abt kissing makes me giggle and blush HELOME

#imraeswork #imraespace -♡#jjk #jjk yuuta #angst #crack #fluff #jujutsu kaisen #yuuta x reader #jjk texts #yuuta jjk #jujutsu kaisen yuuta #okkotsu yuuta #jujutsu kaisen yuta okkotsu #yuta x you #yuta texts #yuta okkotsu #yuta x reader #jujutsu kaisen yuuta okkotsu

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g0kotta · 9 months

Text

Almost

There was always an almost with you and Geto.

Geto x f!reader. Mentions of death. This is fluff to angst. Spoilers for JJK!

Almost holding his hand.

The first year of Jujutsu Tech was interesting to say the least. Getting out of your comfort zone and meeting new people you would spend a lifetime with. It was all so sudden. You left your clan, your family behind and started a new life there.

Though after a while you managed to settle down. Your three classmates Shoko, Gojo and Geto were nice to be with. Shoko was calmer than the two and you formed a nice friendship with her faster than with them. She was there from day one, with a friendly smile on her face and a cigarette hanging between her lips.

The smell of cigarettes felt calming after a while. You always knew it was her walking around the corner and it felt comforting.

Geto and Gojo became your good friends a bit later on in the first year. As douchey as they were they understood that you needed time to feel comfortable around them and they respected that. They gave you personal space until you started talking with them more, going on missions together and coming back with tears in your eyes from all of the laughter.

It felt good. In those moments you almost forgot how much you actually missed home. Soon enough these three people became your second family.

And now as you lay on the grassy field at 3AM with Geto next to you, it feels right.

“Couldn’t sleep?” He turns his face to look at you. And as you do the same you think how angelic he truly looked. He was the opposite from Gojo, who had plenty of girls following him around and feeding into his already big ego, but you never really understood why. In your eyes Geto was the best looking guy you’ve seen. His now messy hair is free from the hair tie that always keeps his hair in place. It falls on his face framing it in a way that makes him look like a painting. His dark eyes meet yours as he awaits for your answer.

“Mhm..” you hum and give him a soft smile. “It’s a rough night.” you whisper. “The mission today sucked out my energy, but I just can’t stop thinking about the kids who died in front of our eyes. We almost saved them..” a frown etches onto your face as you sigh. “When I close my eyes that’s all I see.”

Geto shuffles closer to you and your hands touch.

“It’s not your fault.” He calmly states. “It’s life, (L/N). We’re trying to make it better, but you have to remember that we can’t save everyone.”

His hand tries to reach your palm, hold it in his bigger one, but before he can do that..

“Hey, guys!” Gojo’s annoying voice screeches. “You should’ve told me you’re having a slumber party or something.”

When he almost asked you out.

Geto was pacing around his dorm room. His hair is in a messy bun, he’s slightly irritated and you can tell by the way his eyebrows are slightly arched. He has a mean look on him and Gojo is confused as he has never seen his friend like that.

At first the white haired male doesn’t want to interfere as his friend looked out of it. ‘It’s like his whole family died’ he thinks as he keeps staring at Geto.

“Just calm down.” Gojo grins. “I’m sure everything will be fine. She likes you back for sure, dude. The way she looks at you? Like you hung the moon and the stars. Just believe in yourself, Suguru.”

“You don’t understand, Satoru. She’s different. I don’t want to ruin whatever we have.” His pace becomes faster. “I really care about her. I want her in my future. But what if she doesn’t see me like that? I can’t imagine losing her.” He frowns.

Gojo groans and stands up from Geto’s bed. He walks up to his friend and puts a hand on his shoulder and squeezes it in reassurance.

“She likes you. You just have to calm down.” Gojo smiles warmly at his friend, supporting him. “I can see it with all of my eyes.”

Geto hits Gojo’s shoulder and both of them laugh. It doesn’t feel tense anymore.

Though no matter how long Gojo stayed in his room, Geto never got the courage to ask you out. Especially not after he saw you through his window. Laughing at what Nanami said.

When he almost kissed you.

“Ugh.” Geto groans as he looks at his notepad, slowly losing his hope to understand the subject. “This is bullshit.” He throws the pen on the table and rubs his eyes in frustration.

“You think?” You sarcastically roll your eyes while trying to comprehend what you were even reading right now.

“We’re failing this, (L/N).” He sighs and closes his notepad, putting it back in his bag. “I’m done with this. I don’t care anymore. Literally could give less of a shit.”

“I get it.” You smirk and stretch also giving up on understanding the topic of math. “It’s like this isn’t even real. Who created this theory?”

Geto stands up from the chair that he was sitting on and walks towards where you were seated on the carpet in the middle of your dorm room.

“Wanna do something else?” He raises a brow. “Like.. Watch a movie?”

“I don’t have any new ones.” You answer him quickly. “Unless you want to rewatch the same old five cassette tapes I have.” You say already knowing his answer. He lets out a huff and falls into your bed groaning mumbling something about how boring it is.

You grin and stand up shuffling towards the bed and fall onto his body and he gasps as he feels the weight of someone else’s body on top of his. He starts whining and you start laughing. The room erupts with noises as he starts an argument that you’re not even participating in. It feels fresh. It feels like spring when nature is reborn again. It feels warm and inviting.

As the laughs die down you to lay next to each other, looking at each other’s faces and studying them. He smiles at you softly noticing how your cheeks are dusted in pink. He reaches out and softly, as if you were made out of glass, he follows your features with his thumb. As if he was trying to remember how your face felt. It felt like he was an artist and you were the art.

He let’s out a noice of satisfaction and his grin gets bigger. He slowly starts to inch towards your face. You look into his eyes, feeling like your heart will soon jump out of your chest. Your lips are millimetres apart, but before they can collide, loud noises can be heard from the outside.

You two jump off of the bed in a rush.

Someone was attacking Jujutsu Tech.

When he almost..

Your heart is breaking. It was stupid. So so stupid. Your hands reach into your hair and you swear you could pull everything out. Your skin felt itchy and your stomach felt like it had butterflies trying to dig their way out.

It was crushing you. Your whole life you knew and had fell apart in a few hours. As you laid in your bed, holding yourself, trying to keep yourself from falling apart, your window opens.

You don’t even need to lift your head up to know who it was.

“I’m sorry.” Were the first words you heard. “I wish things could be different.” He keeps on talking, while you stay quiet. Only broken sobs were heard from your laying body. “In another life we will be married and raising five children.” Suguru laughs bitterly, walking up to your bed. He sits down next to you and takes you in his arms. He wipes away your tears. "But the world we live in now, isn’t so kind to people like us."

“Five kids with you doesn’t sound so bad..” you whisper in tears “I hope that’s true.. And that in another lifetime things are different.”

Suguru lets out a soft chuckle, looking into your eyes. “Of course it’s true. I’m sure one of them will look just like me.” He gives you a warm embrace, feeling your tears on his chest. “Please don’t cry (Y/N), you’re making my heart ache.”

“You’re the one to say that.” Your voice breaks. “Why.. why are you choosing that path?”

“(Y/N)..” he hugs you tightly as if he always wants to remember the feeling of you laying on his chest. “Our paths are way too different. I’m sure you’ll find all of the answers on your own.” He smiles. “I can’t stay for long. They’re looking for me already.” Suguru leans in and for the first time your lips touch. Though rather than giving you joy it felt like he was taking everything away from you. It was melodramatic. He came to say goodbye and took your heart with him. “I’m sorry.” He whispers and before you can do anything, he leaves. And as you lay in bed you realised that not only did he take your heart he also took away the warmth of summer and spring and left you alone with the coldness of winter.

As he leaves the grounds of Jujutsu Tech he stops for a second and looks back. With a sigh he turns around and leaves.

When he almost stayed.

#geto fluff #geto angst #geto suguru #geto x reader #geto suguru x y/n #geto suguru x you #geto suguru x reader #jjk spoilers #jjk x reader #jjk imagines

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scribblesofagooner · 3 months

Text

Family, not by blood but by choice instead | awfc x reader

I messed up on this blog so I made a new one which is @scribblesofagoonerr so I’m gonna be posting over on there instead now.

You should have known, there was tell-tail signs all throughout the last several years and yet you were so blind about it all.

Your mother was a narcissist, she was manipulative and gaslighted you your whole life, you were always made out to the bad guy and she was the victim.

It was clear as day to anyone on the outside, but your niave self just chose to always believe different about things.