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magenta-embers · 6 months

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My Jikook Journey

Part 2 of my intro.

From "multi-shipper" to "...wait a goddamn minute."

This will be a messy and detail-lacking overview because I could easily do an individual post on each thing I mention here and delve deeper (AMA!).

When I became an ARMY in 2018, I was excited about the treasure trove of fanfics now available to me. The ship didn't really matter, but my bias was/is Jimin (bias wrecker Tae then) so the very first fic I read was a vmin camping one (there was only one sleeping bag, gasp!). For me, shipping meant I'd read fanfics or save fanart of certain pairs together because in a fictional sense/in another universe, they make a good couple. I think this is a healthy approach, keeping that boundary between reality and fiction.

When I mentioned to my k-pop fan step-sister that I was reading vmin, she gave me a weird look. She said taekook is THE ship of BTS, which confused me because vmin seemed to be closer and have better chemistry than Tae and JK. Turns out, she was right. Searching by most kudos on ao3, you get a shit ton of taekook. I accepted it readily and just thought I must be missing something since I was a baby ARMY, so I read those super popular fics and started to enjoy taekook too. I started to focus more on them because... it felt like that was what I was supposed to do.

It's a common problem, isn't it? Baby ARMY who are open to shipping are quickly found and "guided" to taekook before they have a chance to glance in another direction. If they try, taekookers, who are the majority in the shipping sphere, will convince them that taekook is THE ship. Even if they aren't ARMY (my step-sister), they know that much. As a new fan, you just want to fit in, so you'll go along with what's most popular. Some people eventually find their own way, but many don't. Asking questions is vital, but if you do it aloud, you risk getting attacked by a small but extremely aggressive portion of the most infamous fanbase.

Even back then while just innocently reading any well-written fic I could get my hands on, I noticed that Jungkook was usually portrayed as a lot edgier and darker than he really was (manifested the 2023 JK aesthetic) and Taehyung was constantly portrayed as... Jimin. Especially in fan art. For some reason, a lot of the time, the appearance/vibe/personality of Taehyung was truer to Jimin than to himself, and that confused me. "Why not just make it Jungkook x Jimin?" I kept seeing them trying to force Taehyung into the dynamic that Jimin has with Jungkook when their own dynamic was perfectly fine.

Slipping down the pipeline, I started to watch taekook moments/analysis videos because I thought gotta be missing something, right? That's how I found out people are convinced they're dating, and it wasn't just a fun fic/art thing. The videos themselves were... something. There were just way too many red circles, too much slow-mo, and too much mind-reading going on for me to take any of it seriously. Plus, the moments that weren't exaggerated were just close friend skinship. Hell, Taejin were doing more sus shit together than taekook.

And yet people insist on taekook even when taekook do nothing to insist on themselves.

At this point, it was deep into 2019. Jikook were wilding in 2019. Even I was noticing all the... little things that made me raise an eyebrow. The touches that lingered just too long in rather intimate areas, the fond/awed looks at each other, the shameless flirting, the complete lack of physical boundaries, and the normalness of it all between them. That's telling. Even though I was mainly a taekooker with a shit ton of fanart and fics saved to my phone, if you looked at my liked YouTube videos around that time, I had jikook moments videos saved, not taekook, because their moments were just more fun/juicier to watch overall. They just interacted differently than they did with other members.

A quick example would be a video compilation of taekook holding hands. Sure, they're holding hands, maybe even interlocking fingers, but they're usually standing side by side and looking in different directions or just having a neutral expression. But if you watch a jikook one, not only is it much longer, but it's just different. I feel like I'm interrupting sometimes. Even in such a simple action like holding hands, there's a softness, an intimacy there that doesn't exist in taekook. Jikook wouldn't just be holding hands (usually for absolutely no reason), they'd be looking into each other's eyes, smiling sweetly, fully turned toward each other, attention completely captured by the other. How can I explain the look in their eyes? It just doesn't exist with vmin, yoonmin, jihope, etc.

Sidebar: All of those pairs have flirty/sus moments as most really close friendship dynamics do, but they're lighthearted to me and never invoked a true sense of.... whoa whoa whoa, hang on. If Jungkook and Jimin were my close friends IRL and I saw the way they are together, my alarms would go off. As either, "Oh my god, they're fucking," or "Oh my god, they wanna fuck each other." People always say, "Oh, Jimin's like that with everyone." No. No, he's not. Pay attention. Really pay attention to the differences in the dynamics between members. None of them have the "same" relationship. Especially pay attention to how the rest of the members react to Jikook.

Anyway,

So here I was noticing this... deeper intimacy in simple interactions with those two (because I'm a human being with eyes and life experience), and yet my Twitter timeline would just dismiss them entirely. "I love their friendship," "Wow their brotherhood is so beautiful," and "They're all so close," and normally these statements wouldn't bother me because technically they're true, but I started noticing that taekook or yoonmin would brush shoulders and everyone would be like, "Omg taekook/yoonmin married/boyfriends/real," over nothing. Their moments are cute/sweet/funny, but never more than that. The blatant hypocrisy did frustrate me a little, but ultimately I didn't overthink it; I didn't want to be delulu or look too deeply into anything because I still thought I must be missing something. Taekook is the most popular for a reason, right? Right?

But Taekook died for me when Tae told Taekookers to get out of their imagination. I respected that from him and took it at face value. It was the most aggressive shutdown of shipping we've ever had. I couldn't brush him off. It's disrespectful. He's uncomfortable.

Meanwhile, over the next couple of years, Jungkook and Jimin only got more suspicious in the minor interactions and in the big staple moments. Rosebowl. Hickeygate. Etc. Everyone was bending over backward trying to explain away the things these two did with each other, and it's always the same excuses. I was also trying extremely hard to think of any reason other than the simplest one because I didn't want to be delulu.

Because there was no way two members of a boyband were actually in a long-term relationship together. Especially in a conservative country.

Ridiculous. Unrealistic. Delulu.

I was basically telling myself in a mirror that they were just extra super duper close friends with muddy boundaries that meant sucking ears and giving neck hickeys was okay. I did allow there to be the thought that, maybe they're friends with benefits and that unavoidable intimacy now bleeds through into their regular interactions.

That opinion carried until 2023.

Isn't that funny?

2023.

The year so many jikookers gave up and bemoaned that those two weren't close anymore or had broken up is the year that finally convinced me.

What tipped me over?

Jungkook's vlives.

The way he kept watching videos of Jimin when he could just phone him. It reminded me of me watching Jimin, but I'm just a fan; I watch those videos because it's the only way I can appease my yearning to be close to and connected to Jimin, and absorb everything that he does or says or is.

Jungkook doesn't have that limitation, so why's he sitting there like a lovesick puppy with the fondest/most loving eyes when he could have Jimin over with just a call? Why's he sitting there looking like he's also yearning for something he can't have like us, the fans, when he can have it? He has Jimin's number. You don't need to watch yourself tease Jimin. You can just go do it. Just text him, bro.

It felt like he just wanted to bask in Jimin without interruption, without distraction, without having to force his attention elsewhere. Beyond being incredibly sweet, it also felt like Jungkook was making a statement, a point, because he kept doing it. Why? Is he somehow obsessed with his friend and bandmate whom he's seen almost every day for over a decade? If it was to promote him, he really didn't have to do all that? He didn't do it for the others, not to that extent.

Watching Jimin, talking about Jimin, singing Jimin's songs, fkn playing Letter on guitar. (The naked vlive flirting session? Lord, what.)

The man kept having vlives with a significant Jimin focus. He insisted on it enough times that it felt like he was trying to slap some sense into me. His insistence bothered me enough for me to finally do a deep dive into jikook.

Down the rabbit hole, I went. The more I learned, the more my jaw dropped. Where the fuck was all this info on my timeline when these motherfuckers were celebrating the most basic kpop boy interactions as if they were wedding vows? I even ended up seeing pictures/info we as fans were never meant to see at the bottom of that hole. If you know, you know.

Eventually, I ended up on this video (bless this fucking channel).

youtube

I want everyone to understand that I had zero knowledge of established relationship timeline theories. I went into this video blind, just trying to find the point in time when JK started to warm up to Jimin. That's not what I found. I found something so much better.

Especially 2013-2015 had me in awe. I think I cried. Jimin and Jungkook had a fattest, cutest mutual crush on each other. Absolutely. And because they were young, not that famous, and still rookies with media and camera training, we get a lot of insight into those two that we wouldn't get in later years when they learned how to mask and behave more "idol"-like. Jimin was especially loud, almost sadly loud. If you haven't watched the timeline of at least those early years, I implore you to. It actually blew my mind and broke/healed my heart. It's really bittersweet to see two teenage boys with little to no experience in anything romantic trying to come to terms with themselves while also coming to terms with each other. It's like watching a coming-of-age romance movie.

I saw clear shifts from when the relationship hit turning points in certain years. I proposed a timeline in my head based on that. Imagine my fucking surprise when I found out other people have also come up with timelines, and more surprising yet, they were all unbelievably similar to mine, down to what changed in what half of the year. I, who had no previous knowledge that this was even a thing. I just noticed it all on my own. We were all seeing the same thing. The same changes. No red circles, no slow-mo, no mind reading. It's all in the body language.

I panicked a little because overall it seemed too good to be true, so I reached out to a taekooker friend to send me her best evidence videos and receipts because I just had to make sure I wasn't going totally delulu here. I needed to see that the other biggest ship had interactions and moments on the same level with that same consistency, maybe even their very own relationship timeline to bring me back down to Earth. But... there's nothing. Really, there's nothing between taekook. Not one moment where I was like, oh? You'll find hours-long jikook content videos that are absolutely jam-packed with content, significant content, but that sort of depth just doesn't exist for taekook. Instead, you get conspiracy theories.

I watched most of the videos on that best of jikook channel and several other staple channels. It wasn't as if I bought into everything presented. I still rolled my eyes at many things that were blown out of proportion by some creators, and jikook isn't free from red circles and slow-mo and bullshit. And yet, I was still overwhelmed by the mountain of crisp receipts dumped on my head.

Jikook have much, much more solid evidence supporting the theory that they are together than evidence against it. I took the facts as they are, took my social experiences for what they are, took my psychology background for what it is, and concluded that they are most likely together, probability-wise. At the very least, they are the ONLY pair in BTS that have ANY legitimate possibility of being romantically involved. If jikook isn't real, then none of the other ships have any hope whatsoever, let's not kid ourselves. It's them or none of them.

They also have much, much more evidence that they are together than with any random man or woman you wanna throw at them. There needs to be valuable evidence or a total shutdown for me to tip the scale. I'm going to need Jimin or Jungkook to state, "I am not dating anyone at all," or "Get out of your imagination," or a bighit relationship announcement, or a clear video of lip-on-lip action or very intimate interaction with someone else.

Frankly, I don't give a single fuck about a grainy pic/video when it's 2023 and there's no excuse for that. I don't give a fuck who owns the same vase or cooking pots. I don't give a fuck if either of them hugged a woman. These are not evidence. These aren't even as good as the worst Jikook evidence.

At this point in time, Jikook is still the only viable option with the information we currently have available to us. This is my opinion and I stand by it.

At the end of the day, the thing I want most is for Jimin to be happy. Currently, it seems that Jungkook makes Jimin the happiest (as Jungkook says). As long as that holds true, I'll be here. If that changes at some point in time, I'd accept it.

But until that day comes, what the fuck else am I supposed to think?

#Jikook

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myuiis · 4 months

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because it's written down, you've memorized it

gungoo oneshot

1.7k words

angst because chapter 479 fundamentally changed me as a person

ao3 link if yall want:

"You’re going to die in your best friend’s arms. And you play along because it’s funny, because it’s written down, you’ve memorized it, it’s all you know."

So, this is the end, Park Jonggun thinks as he swirls his wine in his small glass, watching his breath turn to steam in front of his face. It’s not a bad one, by any means. The snow falling from the sky in ill-fated flurries that melt as soon as they touch his skin; the faint rumbling of Seoul in the background; Goo’s gentle breathing by his side.

If anything, Gun thought this whole thing would’ve ended a lot differently.

A knife fight, maybe, or some other sort of barely concealed violence– teeth gnashing, jaws snapping, claws scratching at each other’s throats. That’s how they met, after all. Standing alone in that junkyard, the sky pouring rain as if it was crying for them, blood dripping from their wounds, bones creaking from the effort of staying upright.

But this isn’t much better, Gun thinks. It’s unfamiliar. Suffocating.

It’s so antithetical, so fundamentally opposed to everything they are and were meant to be. Weapons are only supposed to draw blood, after all. Violence is all that they had ever known.

So why is it that all he feels, watching his rival and partner and best friend of four years sitting on the ledge beside him, watching the clouds split into pieces and fall to the earth, all he feels is something stirring inside– a deep, dark, primordial fear?

When will you leave? Will you really leave? Will I really have to kill you? Why did you do it, Goo Kim?

Gun has always been a man familiar with fear. It comes with the territory when you kill for a living. But there’s something strange about this fear; it’s raw, a little bit ugly, a little bit too rough for even Gun to enjoy.

But what’s worse is this: they accepted it so easily, as if it was carved on their bones, as if it was a script they’d both rehearsed; their end was an inside joke between friends– easy, familiar, funny. Even now, they both understand what kind of person the other is, what kind of choices the other would make.

It’s like they both already knew this would happen, from the second they laid eyes on each other. They’re not the type of people for happy endings.

Still, they stayed.

Did Gun expect a different ending? Was he trying to achieve a different ending in the first place? Goo Kim, what did you do? What do I owe you? Is this really what you wanted after all?

Is that why, when Goo asked him to drink, for the first and last time, he sounded so sad?

But once again Goo doesn’t answer any of his questions; once again, Gun is secretly glad he doesn’t.

They sit there under the roof of the old house, the snow still falling in clumps and flutters, its whiteness shining in the dim sunlight.

“Hey.”

The silence is broken when Goo finally speaks again.

“I think I’ve gotta be on my way now.”

Gun looks up from his hands, abruptly realizing how much time has passed when he sees the sun already setting.

“Taejin might start getting worried that you killed me if I’m not back soon,” Goo continues. He cracks a soft smile at his own joke and stares at Gun, as if expecting him to reciprocate the smile.

He does.

“Why don’t we finish this bottle first?” he replies, picking the soju bottle up again to emphasize his point.

“What, I thought you weren’t in the mood for drinking?”

“Mm, changed my mind,” Gun replies, and that’s the end of it.

They pour their drinks out and down it all in one shot again, like they did the last time. The alcohol burns pleasantly as it rolls down Gun’s throat, and he remembers why he likes it so much in the first place: it tastes like a fight.

He thinks he’s drawn to Goo in the same way.

They haven’t ever drank together, courtesy of Goo’s aversion to alcohol and all things that could be considered a “vice"; but as they sit there together, glasses clinking together, it feels as if they’ve done this a thousand times over.

They pour out another shot and down it again. And then another. And then another. The entire time, they don’t speak a single word, barely even look at each other. Perhaps this was exactly the kind of ending that was fit for their relationship.

The irony writes itself.

A violent, glorious start, filled with snarky threats and bloodied fingers; a peaceful end. Like the slow fizzling out of stars that were never big enough to go supernova. Was that what Gun and Goo were to each other?

Friends, colleagues, lovers that never were?

Lovers, Gun thinks, whispers silently, rolling around the word on his tongue like he’s trying to weigh it, trying to scope out its smooth edges and sharp corners. It’s heavy. Unbearably so. He doesn’t think it fits them, doesn’t think it ever will.

Love is a tender, tender thing. Gun and Goo haven’t got a single bone in their body made for tenderness. All of their bones are for breaking.

Gun looks over at Goo, only to find that Goo had already been staring at him for who knows how long. When Goo sees that he’s been caught, he doesn’t look away. Instead, he only grins.

…Gun doesn’t know what it was. Maybe it was the way the light bounced off the rim of Goo’s glasses and fluttered off his lashes like stars. Maybe it was the way Goo’s face looked especially pale amongst the snow, so pale that Gun thinks he’d fade away if he didn’t grab him. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was the slight flush on Goo’s cheeks or the farewell that didn’t yet slip off his tongue or his annoying smile that Gun needed to wipe off his face. Maybe it wasn’t anything at all, but at that moment, it was so easy to just lean forward and take.

So he does.

Gun leans in and kisses Goo.

The moment is stretched thin to infinity, like time has just stopped. Goo makes a surprised, muffled sound and tenses, but the movement is brief. He eases into the kiss as well, as if he’s been waiting all his life for this, as if they’ve done this a million times.

The feeling of Goo’s perfectly maintained lips against Gun’s own chapped pair isn’t unfamiliar. Neither is the coolness of his glasses against Gun’s nose nor the way Goo shifts in his seat.

After all, they had spent the greater part of the last three years together, and they had needed to explore some more… primal urges.

But what is unfamiliar is the tenderness.

Gun and Goo’s kisses had always been tongues and teeth: a fight, a challenge, a dare. A battle for superiority, like everything else they’ve ever done. At the end of it, Goo always tasted like blood, whether it be his own or Gun’s.

The taste of Goo, unstained by blood or anger, is something softer, smoother, so much so that Gun hardly believes that it’s really the blonde that he’s kissing. Goo tastes like rain and home cooked food and dollar-store soju.

Is this what a goodbye tastes like?

If so, Gun thinks that he wants to say goodbye to Goo again and again and again. This is nice, he thinks. If the Earth stopped spinning right then and time stopped flowing, the fact that they’re there together in the first ever moment of gentleness they’ve ever shared would be enough.

Gun doesn’t remember who pulls away first. Maybe Goo did, judging by how he instantly moves to adjust his crooked glasses or rearrange his scarf; or maybe it was Gun himself, as he instantly moves to fix his hair.

The moment ends, and they both pretend like nothing ever happened.

Goo is the first one to acknowledge it.

“You know, you’re actually pretty good at this stuff when you’re not trying to eat me alive,” he says, and it sounds noncommittal, like a joke. As if none of that just mattered.

But the crack in his voice at the end gives him away.

“But don’t think that it’s enough to get me to stay.”

Yeah.

Gun knows.

Goo is a breezy, capricious person. His moods come and go like the wind. But when he sets his sights on a path to walk, storms on his brows and a hurricane in his steps, there’s nothing in the world that can stop him.

Gun isn’t any exception.

Still, it’s nice to know that he was at least a temptation.

Goo dusts off his dustless coat and moves to stand up. There’s still a bottle of soju left in the bag he brought, and he points to it.

“Anyways, I’m actually leaving this time. That’s a gift for you. Have fun drinking alone, loser.”

Gun snorts.

“Yeah, thanks. Have fun drinking with your secret friends as well, idiot.”

Goo smiles, but there’s no mirth behind it. There’s a swirl of other emotions there that Gun can’t quite put a finger on. Sorrow, melancholy, regret, but not wishfulness. They would’ve gotten to this point anyways, no matter what happened.

“I will.”

Goo turns to leave. Before he does, he gives a backwards glance at Gun, annoying smile still hanging off his face.

“Hey,” he begins, and he sounds a little sad. Just a little. “It was nice while it lasted, Gun Park.”

“Mhm.”

And Goo walks off into the sunset.

Except–

Gun doesn’t know what came over him, perhaps it was the alcohol again, but whatever painful, ugly, tender thing drove him to kiss Goo the first time drives him to cup his hands around his mouth and shout:

“Kim Joongoo!” he cries after the figure in the distance. “Stay alive until the next time!”

But Goo doesn’t turn around, doesn’t even acknowledge him. Gun can’t let it just end like this. No, he wants, he–

“Kim Joongoo!”

Did you hear me?

Can you do that?

Will we ever meet again?

(Of course they will. They’re bound at the bones, joined by their flesh and their tendons and by something far greater that won’t ever, ever let them leave the other. Like two stars bound by each other’s gravity, they’ll never truly be able to leave. It’s hard to tell where Gun ends and Goo begins.)

Goo turns around in the distance, and–maybe it’s a trick of the light– but he smiles back. It’s something small, reserved, and it’s entirely sincere and free of trickery. It’s something Gun thinks only he has ever seen.

And Goo turns back around and walks off. Gun looks at his retreating form until he is consumed by the snow entirely.

#lookism #lookism manhwa #gun park #goo kim #park jonggun #kim joongoo #lookism fanfic #lookism webtoon #lookism fic #gun x goo #gun park x goo kim #gungoo #myuiis bullshit

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lookismstuff · 3 months

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Highlights of Ep 484

SPOILER ALERT

"The more you try to trap me, I'll go off the rails. So take a good look. If you want to see the end, push my buttons." - TAEMIN, "Advice"

It was revealed that Shigeaki Kojima and Seongji Yook entered a one-sided agreement in the past, for Seongji's annointment as a yaksha (guardian spirit) for Taejin. Apparently Seongji was taught to become this (and therefore sort of "graduated" from his original "sacrifice" slavery) by Shigeaki.

As she was helping her friends, Mary warned Seongji that the Japanese men were dangerous. Then they noticed that their master and Shigeaki were arguing in Japanese.

Tension escalated. Shigeaki accused Seongji of hiding Vin from the shaman the cult, Vin denied that the King was hiding him and followed the Japanese men instead.

Taejin was furious and jealous that Vin, (his property) was seen with Seongji, his promised yaksha (his other property). (There's no saving this kid I fear...)

Afterwards, Mary told the others that she thought Vin followed those people to protect them, but Seongji dimissed her, saying that Vin was just another brainwashed kid.

However, Wooseok told them that Vin was only there because he was trapped, and originally came there with his mother for the cure of polycoria, until she took her own life and he was enslaved as a sacrifice. This explanation seemed to stun Seongji.

Meanwhile, a surprising guest visited the shaman: Charles Choi, as a newly rising CEO. It was revealed that the businessman knew that men from Shigeaki's side of the Yamazaki faction were supporting the shaman. The shaman then asked, what exactly it was that Charles wanted from him.

During a ritual that night, Vin had a mental breakdown and shouted that this whole thing was a scam and that everyone was fooled into thinking that Cheonliang and the cult were their salvation.

The shaman demonized Vin (who also wanted to die) instead. The kid was pummeled, kicked, and eventually almost stoned by the cult members until Seongji stopped them.

The shaman proceeded to introduce Seongji as Taejin's yaksha, and Taejin was excited.

However, Seongji asked Vin whether he wanted to be rescued. Not getting used to neither admitting that he needed help nor getting actual help, Vin said no at first then broke down and said "Save me" (which reminds me of the cult kdrama Save Me).

As Vin wondered why he was worthy of saving, Seongji told him that they were both sacrifices, and that Vin's eye was cool. The kid wept as he was hearing this, probably the first time after years and years of being ashamed of it.

Seongji announced right then and there that he was taking Vin away, and breaking his promise of becoming a yaksha. He welcome the oncoming fight.

Notes:

Mary had always been quick at discerning people's behavior and I'm glad that Wooseok was the same. I thought Jewoo was the more perceiving kind but going by the awkwardness between him and Mary in the future, I don't think that's the case.

I like how PTJ made almost everyone, including Seongji, think that Vin was just a brainless cult member until they got the full story. This is consistent with what I watched and read about cults. People usually are quick to judge that people in cult are foolish, without understanding why they were manipulated in the first place.

I wonder whether it was Seongji's death that sent Vin back into his vicious cycle of shame and guilt, including hiding his polycoria.

#lookism #lookism webtoon #lookism manhwa #jin hobin #seongji yook #yook seongji #lookism spoilers #lookism 484 #choi wooseok #cheonliang fam #cheon taejin #taejin cheon #wooseok choi #mary kim #kim miru #SoundCloud

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unreleasedwrites · 8 months

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drabbling about multiple lookism characters as a dad

pov: spending time together and activities between your toddler and him, changing his/her diaper

character(s) included: multiple; Daniel Park, Vasco, Zack Lee, Warren Chae, Jace Park, Jake Kim, Sinu Han, Jay Hong, Eli Jang, Kwak Brothers, Johan Seong, Gun Park, Logan Lee, Samuel Seo, Goo Kim, Vin Jin, Cheon Taejin, Yujin Yoo, Baek Hangyeol, DG

cw: some LOOKISM SPOILERS, my opinion, purposely repeated some characters, lowkey messy 😭

unwrapped on: Saturday Night, August 19 2023

wrapped up on: Sunday Afternoon, August 20 2023

published on: Sunday Afternoon, August 20 2023 (at around 4 PM)

time spent together + activities

Is more than PERFECT when it comes to spending time with your guys’ toddler. He has the most simple yet enjoyable ideas for activities that he spends time on preparing for the family. Practically inseparable from your guys’ toddler, he just can’t ever get enough. Managing time is his thing, he always makes sure he won’t be gone for too long so that his kid wouldn’t have to miss him. Isn’t usually the type to do so for no valid reason, but once he fell in love, he quickly got accustomed to this kind of “curfew.” One time, he said he was just going on a walk, but came back with a huge lego set & spent the entire night assembling it along with your guys’ toddler.

Daniel Park, VASCO, Zack Lee, Warren Chae, Jace Park, Jake Kim, Sinu Han, Kwak Jichang ( He has 2 lil brothers so I do feel like he is quite experienced), JAY HONG (Makes SURE that toddler won’t go through what he did), (& maybe Eli Jang if he wasn’t doing yk)

Is GENUINELY trying his best, but is quite clueless the more you think about it. He doesn’t really have much experience but is learning more & more throughout your toddler’s growth. He’s doing everything he can to ensure you & the toddler are happy. He be doing that good research across reliable and good sites online. Likes to teach your guys’ toddler lessons and skills. This guy is definitely the type to make sure you’re toddler has many skills despite his age. They spend a good amount of time with the family and the best activities they can offer is playing with your kid, whether there’s a good lesson involved or they’re just spending time with one another.

Kwak Jibeom, Kwak Jihan, Johan Seong

Is beyond QUESTIONABLE when it comes to just spending time your guys’ toddler. He isn’t sure what the hell he’s even supposed to do with the weird looking kid. Activities? What activities? He’ll be back home at any time of day he’d like, or not, one or the other. Doesn’t even understand how the hell he got to be a dad in the first place. He is the father, you’re both sure of it, but he is no figure. 💀💀 He’s a lost cause, and he wasn’t planning on starting a family any time soon. Well, your both still young and he’s got other shit planned, which is also why he only sees them as little gremlins that needs to stay as far away as possible from him. Maybe, just MAYBE, with time, he’ll grow closer to your little family and improve.

GUN PARK, Logan Lee💀, Johan Seong ( sorry but hes just a baby himself 😇 ), Samuel Seo, Goo Kim (i love him, but this mf is not gon settle🔥not rn at least), Vin Jin, Cheon Taejin, Yujin Yoo, Baek Hangyeol, DG, a lot of lookism characters actually🔥

diaper changing

He literally offered to be the FIRST to ever change your kid’s diaper. They were pretty hesitant to actually do it at first, but they did some researching in advance so that they could nail it and impress you. You guys usually alternate, and he’s already become an expert at changing diapers.

Daniel Park, Kwak Jichang, Eli Jang ( only bc hes had Yenna )

He would love to help you or to even learn, and he has tried by watching from afar. But by merely watching, he already thinks he should stay away from doing this the best he possibly can do so. You got him to help you out once— PURPOSELY leaves or makes some lame excuse just to get out of doing it ever since.

Kwak Jihan, Goo Kim, Jace Park, Warren Chae, Zack Lee, DG, Johan Seong

He really wants to be a big help, which is why he keeps trying again and again. Carefully watches how you learned to do it and tries his very best to do the EXACT thing you taught him. Sadly, he keeps failing or just straight up making an even bigger mess. Despite this, he keeps trying his best to help in doing so.

Vasco, Kwak Jibeom, Warren Chae, Sinu Han, Jake Kim, all of big deal ngl, Jay Hong, Johan Seong (?)

Help? What Help? There is NO way this man would agree to do such a thing or worse, volunteer to do so😹😹There’s gotta be something so extremely special about you and your kid for him to even consider it 😭 But other than that, this man will not be changing a single diaper, their ego is too high for that 🤗

Gun Park, Logan Lee, Samuel Seo, Goo Kim, Vin Jin, DG (theres no f ing way💯), Cheon Taejin (this man may be hot but he can’t even dress himself 💀), Yujin Yoo (he might try to get Mandeok to do it but I don’t think he gon be able to even do it some what properly considering the size of his hands💀)

Why do i feel like this LUNATIC would actually do it? Tbh I think he’d kill y’all’s kid and experiment on it cs hes psychotic

BAEK HANGYEOL.

notes: This is the second thing ive ever finished writing but I do have a draft of smth else i started but didn’t finish cs it wasn’t getting any where.. I js got bored which is why i decided to make this

- With or without proper credits, please don’t try to steal or claim any of my works as your own

I genuinely appreciate opinions, feedback, likes, and reblogs, as this is my second ever post on this blog.

Once again, I hope this isn’t too bad for my second work, and i’ll probably be doing more characters in lookism 🫶🫶

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emojellyace08 · 6 months

Note

Hi!! Loved your work of demon reader. But what about vampire reader?? Yk?? Or what about siren reader?? Like lookism characters just take a break for the day and just decided to go to the beach. They just explore the beach until they come to secluded part of the beach they decide to go back but than...they hear singing? So they go investigate who in the world is singing...than they saw it..someone sitting on a rock singing beautifully..than they noticed a tail..omg a siren. Yeah I know its very silly. Its alright if u don't want to write this anyways have a nice day/evening or night!!♡♡

♡ "Lookism Men x Siren/Memaid! Female Reader🐚🌊💀" ♡

Hello fellow human! (and Daniel simp lol). This is a very cool idea! (I want to go on the beach so bad yet I don't have free time because of school). Genre: fluff? (Kind of inspired and based on The Little Mermaid, just edgier) Note (quick fact!): Sirens are different from mermaids. Sirens are half birds with a face of a human (female mostly) to lure men/sailors and wreck their ships with the use of their voice and singing while mermaids usually keep their distance away from humanity, wanting to live peacefully (at least in most versions). Now I don't know what to call this "evil mermaid" creature that I made up on my mind and it's really tricky to write since sailors get killed by sirens when they are lured by the song so I kind of made it a mix of a siren and mermaid😭(pls bear with me lmao😀👍). Another note!: (D/n) stands for dog's name

꧁ ♡❀˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹❀♡ ꧂

He is a strong, sturdy, and focused sailor whose duty is to operate the ship and vessels and maintaining a safe work environment, him being admired by every women and envied by men. And everybody knows that he's not here to make friends or companions. And you're a living-sea creature whose business in life is to wreck ships with your strong-level of power and with the great advantage of your luring singing voice and your different level of speed in swimming. You don't know why you were acting like this. Is it because of that mentality when you believed that humans are disgusting creatures who take advantage of mother nature or you being hostile is just part of your natural instincts.

Well, he made your heart pounding though when he helped you carry out the anchor that has been stuck on your tail when you're minding your own business on your cave even though you're already hissing at him almost telling him to back off if you were able to speak the "human-way". It was very unusual for him to be generously kind to other people, let alone a sea-creature. So it's different (almost weird) for his co-sailors to see that side of him. Now you're the one who won't leave him alone when he's out to do his work, you swimming with your full speed to catch up to the big ship even when it's moving at a decent speed. Making him sigh and giving you a glare, almost not giving you attention because of you following him with that puppy-eyes even if you have the fiercest orbs ever.

*Sigh* it's weird for him, but he does find you cute (and threatening) in some ways.

Johan Seong/Samuel Seo/James Lee (DG)/Gun Park/Jichang Kwak/Hudson Ahn/Mandeok/Xiaoleoung/Taesoo Ma/Cheon Taejin/Magami Kenta/Seokdu Wang/Gapryong Kim

꧁ ♡❀˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹❀♡ ꧂

He is not only a dreamy and eye-catching prince but also a compassionate, helpful, and kind lad not only to humans but also to animals. He is well-respected by his fellow sailors when they're out riding his ship on the middle of the ocean, either fishing for food or him just wanting to explore the outside world of his lonely castle. Him admiring the sapphire-like color of the water as he often gets curious if mythical creatures like mermaids, even the predatory ones like sirens exist. But he never expected to meet a mixture of both.

Unexpectedly, a raging storm interrupted their ride as everybody recruited on their boats "D/N!" He knows it's one of his weakness. He's too caring for others even on the smallest things that can be "replaced" but he knows that the memories won't fade forever. So as risky as it sounds, he went back on the now sinking ship and giving the animal to his body guard before he was quickly swept by the harsh water waves, slowly drowning and loosing his breath. But a miracle happened.

He woke up on the seashore. Clothes wet and some parts ripped. Good thing that he is safe despite getting mild bruises. He was lost in his own thoughts when his assistant screamed for his name to get his attention and asking him if he's alright. Before that, he remembered when he was opening his eyes, he saw a striking face of a female with the familiar color of that specific scales and ear fins before it went away at that moment. He smiled as a warm blush covered his cheeks as he remembered that time when he was younger, he explained that he helped a mermaid-looking creature yet an attitude aggressive like a siren when it's injured yet his servants laughed at him. Now you're the one who rescued him when he needed help. It's unlike in your predatory nature but you've been curious about what he's being doing lately as he's curious about your well being. You often get excited when you see his ship, following the smell of the young man as you watch on the distance, wanting to know things about him. If you weren't so different of worlds, would you make it work out? If you only had legs...

Daniel Park/Jay Hong/Zack Lee/Vasco (Lee Eun Tae)/Yuseong/Jake Kim/Eli Jang

꧁ ♡❀˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹❀♡ ꧂

He's literally the definition of a struggling yet determined and hard-working man. Not only he has to provide his daily necessities, but he also helps out his family too. Poor guy needs a rest. The dark circles that is ringing on his gloomy eyes have gotten deeper because of the lack of his sleep with the mixture of sea sickness that is starting to make his stomach grumble. He needs something to eat.

Stopping by the land, he went in the caves as he wanted to spend his free time before going on duty again as his stupid co-sailors wasted their time by chugging off the strong scent of alcohol that is stinging his sensitive sense of smell. Despite the place being a bit dark, good thing he brought his lantern with a box of matches for safety measures, a pocket knife, a small bag of biscuits and a jug of water. He sat down on a rock, sighing as he gets lost on his own thought thinking about his future especially for his loved ones who relies on him. He just wants to experience living of the life of luxury, eating everything he craves for and sleep every time he wants with his family, not wanting to leave them out. He wants to feel peacefulness even just for once in his life but he knows that he needs to focus on his work if he doesn't want to starve for a whole week, a month rather than smelling the stench of the fish that he catches every time he went out for fishing .

He was overthinking again before he noticed a movement on the small body of water that he is near to. "Eh- Who's there!?" He asked as he sticks up his lamp up to see if there are any near predators in the place. He could be in danger. He was surprised to see a tail move upward as the creature swam deeper in the water. He was about to get out when you suddenly grab his legs making him yelp. Your hand is slimy and soft yet the way you grab him was gentle. But he wouldn't risk getting drowned so he got up, ran away while wailing his hands up and screaming. You're just curious about the young man, he looks like a nice guy. Yet you scared him off. How do you properly approach humans anyways? (lol).

Zack Lee/ Vasco (Lee Eun Tae)/Warren Chae/Eli Jang/Jerry Kwon/Duke Pyeon/Brad Lee/Jason Yoon/Jihan & Jibeom Kwak/Sinu Han/Jiho Park

꧁ ♡❀˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹❀♡ ꧂

Well nobody knows if he really is a professional marine biologist or if he's just a smart amateur. But everybody knows that he's one hell of a smart fellow for their era. He's intelligent and logical, yet idealistic and curious about the things around him. He has worked on big projects like mechanicals in big marine transportations that has been successful over the years for his age. Now he wants to explore what lies beneath the ocean.

He got curious when he read about a book related to hybrids of marine animals and humans, basically the mer-folk. He usually doesn't believe in fairy tales (often thinking it's dumb at times in realistic situations). But in terms of creating writing and his curious thinking getting in the way again, he can't help but to consider the possibility that the fish-people even sirens may exist. The past few cases of sunk ships have been very interesting for him nowadays.

He and his crew decided to have a short trip on the seas for him to have a break while secretly working on his research and investigation. Every island and shores have been discovered and dug to find artifacts yet none of it are a provable evidence of its' existence. He was about to give up when a singing voice is heard from the distance. He knew it was dangerous based on the novels that he had checked out, yet the sailors with their stupidity followed the sound and decided to catch whatever is moving under the water. He thought he was going to die when you approached the ship, but instead his weirdness got the best of him again as he ordered the fishermen to release you. It may be the dumb decision to let you go, but it's for the best for your and everybody's safety. He got a valuable evidence of your blood on the fishing hook that was used though.

Jace Park/Yoojin/Goo Kim/Baek Hangyul/Jinyoung Park/Tom Lee/Manager Kim/Gapryong Kim

꧁ ♡❀˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹❀♡ ꧂

He is just a normal person, a person looking for thrills in his boring life. He causes chaos in his place, almost getting caught by the soldiers when he's doing dumb shit again. *Sigh* well, he thought he's not an ordinary person if he keeps risking his life for pranking other people though. But this behavior crosses the lines when he decided to sneak in the castle to see the beautiful ocean that he's been dreaming to visit. But for some unexplainable reasons the king decided to shut down the access of the place. Was it because of the irresponsibility of the people who dumps their trash and dirt into the ethereal place? Or was it because of the missing fishermen that has not yet found for almost a year now? Nobody knows the real reason if the higher ups won't open up about the issue.

Yet here he is now, feet feeling the warmness of the earthy-brown color of the sand as he admires the view of the horizon. It is beautiful, almost breath taking as if he is in paradise. But his moment was cut off when the guards noticed his presence on the abandoned place. "OI WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" Shit, he's been caught again. He knows that it's probably the time he face the consequences of his actions. But that feeling of adrenaline is getting him excited, again and again as it repeats the cycle of the feeling of a masochistic happiness that he can't explain. He can't let that happen. To be beheaded in front of the pathetic people around him. No, he will run. As fast as he could.

Running away with his swift speed, he managed to escape (once again) the higher ups as he hides on the unfamiliar cave. Laughing to himself yet keeping quiet to not have the guards' attention. He once again admired the beauty of the rocks yet keeping his guard up. He knows that it's dangerous because of what ever is lurking in the dark. And it seems that he is somehow right. He noticed a shadow of, a human-like form with a tail on the water? He can't be serious right now. That living-creature doesn't exist, right? You slowly rise on the water, eyes like snake keeping your attention to the unfamiliar man as he pleaded for his life. "Oi, I don't know what the hell you want but, I"M HERE TO STAY FOR A WHILE SO PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!" He winced as he has his eyes closed ready to be attacked. But as you got up and sat down on the rocky ground, you just kept your attention to him. Your pupils unusually dilating as you got curious about his presence which once again is unusual in your instincts as you attack other people. He heard on the gossip that mermaid-like creatures kills humans. Yet you just sat there, admiring his beauty as he did the same. If he isn't "normal", then he probably found someone like him too. Probably a new friend?

Goo Kim/Olly Wang/Jiho Park/Kuroda Ryuhei/Vin Jin

꧁ ♡❀˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹❀♡ ꧂

Feedbacks would be appreciated!

A/N: What if I make a vampire! lookism men x reader 🌚

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mrs-monaghan · 11 months

Note

i saw you mention it briefly in a previous post and wondered if you happen to have any examples of jimin acting jealous related to jk

i can’t think of even one instance of it happening jimin has such a good poker face

Finally!! Getting to this ask. Sorry i kept you waiting my dear. Lets get to it.

Disclaimer: My word is not law. I can only point out what I picked up. Its up to you to form your own opinions. You don't have to see what I see 😘

To start us off would be the most recent.

Army: I'm Taehyung's wife

Jimin: Hello Taehyung's wife

Army: Hi, I'm Jhope's wife

Jimin: Hello Jhope's wife.

Army: Hi, I'm Jungkook's wife.

Jimin:

Mans really said "no the fuck you're not. You can call yourself JK's wife but I'm the one who knows what he's doing not you." 😂😂😂 No, but this was funny.

Next we're gonna talk about HOME. But before we do that. Let's understand something. Jikook have these exclusive things they do to/for eo and they prefer if it stays that way. A good example would be Jimin touching JK's chin. It's a Jikook thing or rather used to be, because sometimes in the past u would catch Jimin side eyeing another member when they did it. He's always done it from the beginning and other members started doing it too. But I think Jimin is over it now. Doesn't care anymore. But it did used to bother him. Another example would be the boxing. It's a Jikook thing and they (mostly JK) prefers it that way. We've seen him refuse to play box with V. I even touched on him debunking V here when V said they box together. It's a Jikook thing. Alright? Which brings us to HOME.

As we all know there is that one part where Jikook usually sing to each other during HOME.

My favourite is this one 🥺🥺

If you don't believe it's a Jikook thing, look at how JK reacted when Jimin sang to Army instead of singing to him. Here is an even better angle. He wasn't impressed. He was looking forward to it, only for Jimin to sing to Army 🤭

All duos have designated moments during songs. Here is angry Jin pulling Jimin away from a Taejin moment. (Sorry if u can't access tiktok. Tumblr only allows one video at a time) So this theory is not too far fetched.

Okay now let's get to the Jimin being annoyed part. Not jealous, annoyed. Its important we differentiate these 2 words. He wasn't jealous of V...he was just annoyed that it happened.

Okay. So first lets look at the Jikook moment. Which i love.

And then we look at the Taekook moment.

Why does V always look at members like they're a 5 course meal he's 2 seconds away from devouring? Damn. Anyway, I'd tell you to watch Jimin but that's not the best angle. You see his reaction better from the Jimin fancam.

Yeah... he wasn't impressed either.

Next we're gonna go back to Army proposing to JK. The infamous "Jungkook marry me" I bet JK regretted bringing that up the moment he started getting grilled. Mans really got the 3rd degree 😂😂 And you can see the exact moment Jimin was like; wtf I'm i doing?

Right before leaving to go off camera, looking all embarrassed. That shit was hysterical. Really 😂😂

Next we have JK calling RM sexy.

Jimin rubbing his face like that read to me like "this again?" And I wouldn't have thought anything of it but then he went and repeated the word "sexy" when JK said it which had me 🤔🤔🤔

Next we have this Run Bts episode. I will share Cameron's dubbed version because why not? 😂😂😂😂 JK even tried to make Jimin feel better. Yes, he was doing his mission but why not kill 2 birds with one stone?

Then we have the Busan concert. He wasn't jealous. He wasn't even annoyed. But he was watching them. He took notice. Jimin does it often when it comes to Tkk. He doesn't react, but he pays attention. Idk how to explain it. But he watches them, if that makes sense.

Next one is actually quite popular anon. I'm surprised you've never seen people talk about it. Again I will share the dubbed version because I play too much.

Aaah. Fine. Here is the original for the boring people 🙄 Watch Jimin's face when JK smiles at him. Then JK immediately lets go of V. Though he does it again, coz he can be a brat sometimes. But y'all get it.

These two Jinkook and Yoonkook moments are not even up for debate. It's pretty freaking clear. And yes. I will use the word jealousy for these ones.

This one is heartbreaking. I prefer when Jimin is angry. I do not like him sad. It's just... 😭😭😭

This one too. My heart breaks every single time.😪😪😪

You can watch this entire compilation if u feel like it. I find it mostly accurate. (Mostly. Not all) But watch this part. Jimin is watching Namkook on the viewfinder. Did you see him look away as soon as JK looked up? Why? Hmmm 🤭🤭

Now this one he was not just bothered but actually got angry. Like fucking pissed.

Thanks @astutejiminie for coming through. This video is absolute gold. They start reacting at 36:24. It's where it all starts unfolding.

(Keep an eye on Jimin touching his nose. That's usually a sign with him)

youtube

So we have V caressing JK's hair for a long ass time. And we have Jimin hating it. We hear him clear his throat abnoxiously at some point which is when JK notices and tries to like sit up and pull away from V. But as usual V doesn't get the memo and continues to touch. Eventually when they finish, Jimin stands up so aggressively that his chair flies back and then storms off before they have even wrapped up. Idk what it was about this day but Jimin got proper angry about the touching.

Another time Jimin didn't like V touching JK was during this live. He even banged his cup on the floor.

I recommend this analysis of that Dynamite BB hot 100 live/JK's birthday and what was really going on with JK staring at Jimin. Jimin had an issue with all the skinship on this day. That analysis does a good job of explaining why. Give it a go.

This here anon, is what I call the Holy grail. Jimin wanted to kill this army. Well, that's an exaggeration but still, if looks could kill, this Army would have gone up in smoke. So this girl goes to JK and calls his name in this cutesy tone. And watch Jimin. That, is some scary shit right there. 👀 I'd have ran and never come back 🙈

Damn this post got long and these aren't even all of them. I am too hungry to go get this link. So I will describe this moment and u see if it rings a bell or u can go search for it. Run BTS Canada. Jin sits next to JK and Jimin makes him move. He was like "That's my chair" and Jin immediately took off.

This cute winter package moment where Jimin slots himself between Jinkook. I don't think this is part of the list. I just like that moment 🤭🤭🤭

I gotta go eat. So this is all I have for now. Cheers! 🥂🥂

#ask shaz #bts ask #jikook #jimin and jungkook #jimin #jungkook #park jimin #jeon jungkook #minkook #kookmin #bts #jikook bothered #jikook analysis

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vvmylove · 8 days

Text

Lookism 496

How ptj feels after giving another character MORE trauma (thought he ate)

No but jichang DID eat he's SO fine

NAH NOT GUN AND JAMES AGAIN😭 I thought I was so done with those two

???????? JAMES TOOK DOWN JAKES DADDY???

Ooo taejin is a piece of shit, taking over the place now that his father had died. Using his FATHER for his own advantage??? The whole family is a disgrace.

TAEJIN WHAT???? GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️

Me when idgaf about Charles so I don't read the whole thing 😍‼️

Nah what I'm the actual hell? We thought he was gonna be cute asf from that one chapter where he was with the cowboy boots and shit but he's just another psychopathic mf. Why wouldn't ptj make him idk a lifesaver or some shit. Like there's gotta be someone who saves the all of the lookism characters. Who will it be? Fucking daniel????

Also wheres goo🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨

#lookism #cheongliang #generation 0 #generation one #lookism fanfic #james lee #seongji yuk #kwak jichang #vin jin #lookism vin jin #lookism 496 #gitae #charles choi

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nightswithkookmin · 1 year

Text

I'm replying you here cos your choice of words might rub others the wrong way and get you in trouble when you are already feeling down.

First off, hugs.

Second, I hear you. I understand you are annoyed because he couldn't take 1 second of his time to openly congratulate Jimin yet here he is on live at Jk's house fueling dating rumors amidst Face promotions.

Truth be told, it pisses me off too when BTS don't act civil towards eachother. They are friends sure but they have a professional relationship too and not expressing that professional courtesy towards eachother stirs my anger for real. They are ruining the script ruining the fantasy and vision of friendship I have for them😒

But that's a me problem. They don't owe me anything.

They are grown adults free to do whatever they want and express themselves in whatever way they want.

Similarly, you are free to like them or not like them too.

You don't have to force yourself to like something you don't.

I personally prefer Jimin as a bias because I like everything about him. His thoughtfulness, his kindness, his honesty and sincerity, his emotional intelligence, and the fact he tries to be a good human day in day out.

As much as I love Jungkook and the others I can't with the ghetto. I just can't. I would drag the hell out of them, nag and complain all the time when they act insensitivly towards others and without considering the impact of their actions on others. I mean I be dragging Jimin too sometimes so why not others😆

Take Tae for instance not saying shit bout Face for one- oh I'm finna drag him across the parameters of the universe I'm just waiting till the dust settle😌

Is that how soulmates behave towards a soulmate?😒

I like Jimin the most- mehn I'm so sick of this fakey love. FAKE LOVE. fakkey love. FAKE LOVE. I'm so sorry but it's fakkey love. "Cussing in Korean melody"

I'm tired of people paying lip service and not backing up their words with actions I'M SICK OF IT.

You love him, you love him. AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO SUPPORT HIM. WHERE WERE YOU WHEN WE NEEDED ALL PJMS ON BOARD.

WHY YALL BE DISGRACING ME OUT HERE

SO GHETTO AND FOR WHAT

You know what. Imma need you in the boxing ring sir

This is for Jimin.

This is for Jin. Don't think I forgot.

AND ON TOP OF IT ALL HE'S OUT THERE POSTING HIS WOOGA SQUAD AND OTHER PEOPLE I DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT

THAT JUST HURT NOT GONNA LIE

Everyday I go on his page I'm holding my breathe cos I know I'm gonna see something that's gonna break mi heart😔

His friendship with Jungkook is the only good thing happening right now for me so you see when you come into my Ask and complain about it I get really confused.

On top of him shitting on my Bangtan friendship goals, vmin lesbian agenda, Taejin senpai you want him to shit on Tae kook too?? Now ma'm💀💀💀💀

I'm more terrified of him deciding not to Bangtan anymore and running off to form a band with his wooga squad 🥴

I already lost one direction I'm not gonna lose BTS😭

The world can't lose BTS😭😭😭😭😭

And we can't have a BTS reunion if the members hate each other or feel disconnected from one another so much they decide they've found their calling else where. I'm terrified Suga and Tae might not want to come back to the group- Don't ask me why. It's just a fear I have. So as much as I hate tuktukkers, I have bigger concerns.

I'm glad to see and hear Jungkook wildcard making efforts to connect with the members. He's initiating contact, inviting them to his place- THAT'S A GOOD THING. IT'S GOOD. IT MEANS THERE'S NO BAD BLOOD AND DRAMA BREWING ANYWHERE.

I'm happy to see Tae showed up with Hobi- Makes me wonder where Park Jimin was and what he was doing and why he didn't show up 👀

We could have had this. JM blocked our blessings 😩

I will miss Hobi for this😔

He's always there for his members when they need him. Such a beautiful human soul.

Guys sometimes lets pause and smell the roses and enjoy the little moments.

Hobi will soon be gone and we might not see him show up in lives like this anymore. If Jk is feeling lonely and he reaches out he might only have Tae to show up for him😔

Now imagine if Tae is gone too😭

Tae might not be doing this for others we wish he would do for, but I think he has since their Solo been a good friend to Jk. And he's been consistent with it. He's always there for him. Perhaps because more than anyone else, he knows and understands whatever JK is struggling with post their Solo announcement.

Jimin used to be like that too you know. I keep saying jm and Tae are very similar in some regards.

And I think this is better than him being snobbish towards Jk and acting passive aggressively towards him or blatantly telling him no like he said he did in soop when Jk asked him out for drinks🥴

Those days were wild.

While I don't think tuktuk are dating, I think they have a very good friendship these days. One that ought to be admired not shit on. We are not tuktukkers. Remember that.

But I take your comments about him doing all this to deliberately fuel drama seriously. I'll look into it. Just know that he's a bit of a troll🤣

If it gets on your nerves so much then it's usually a sign you are being trolled hard🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

If not then sis you just might be a hater in which case I can't help you💀

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hobateas · 2 years

Text

the art of craving | pt.1

It's easy to feel like you're floating on the clouds when you're near them, it's easy to have them right under your grasp and feel as if they are yours, but why does it feel as if the more you crave them, the more it all seems to fall down?

alternatively, you're a fluffer, irrevocably in love with the seven you work with and it's hard to navigate through your feelings when your hearts are fluttering messes in the presence of each other.

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠. porn industry workers!ot7 x f!reader (side f!oc x reader)

𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠. 18+ (mature)

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭. 5.2k :(

𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐬. thank you dee @sugakookitty a bunch for this amazing banner and sorry for all the trouble you went through! :( and my lovely pauli @kookstempo who managed to read all this shit and provide some real good feedback :O thanks my love <333

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞. im sorry for putting this up so late, i have a blithering headache and want to die. thank you so much for all your support, ily guys :(( hope you enjoy, im pretty nervous since this is not what i uploaded back then but any feedback or comments are appreciated <3 comment or send an ask to be added to the taglist!

series masterlist. ʚɞ next.

"Cut! Stop filming right now." Namjoon's voice echoed in the studio, making everyone freeze in their spots. The lights were switched off, the film was paused, and breaths hitched, waiting for the next words of the director.

Namjoon was a perfectionist, known to be one of the strictest directors in his line of work. On set, he was a force to be reckoned with, leaving everyone grumpy with how commandeering he could be. It was maybe how the actor’s face had been angled, or how the squelchy sounds of sex appeased his ears, or that one time when the male actor had been way too soft for his liking- he wanted things to go his way, and his way demanded the utmost precision.

It was a shock to him when the three of his best stars’ performances were sub-par.

Misha, the female porn star, had her jaw unhinged, saliva falling from her mouth, black lines of mascara dripping down her face from when she had strained her mouth to take in Taehyung's cock; while Jin, who was pounding her from behind stopped, retreating his hands from her hips, both men slowly pulling out as carefully as they could.

The slick sound that accompanied it was uncomfortable, but it was nothing the people on the set hadn't experienced. The actors slowly moved away from each other's sweaty and cum-covered bodies, waiting just like the others in the studio.

Hoseok and Yoongi were quick on their feet, rushing to hand very expensive silk robes and chilled waters to each of the cast, dabbing their faces with fresh towels. It was important to make sure they looked fresh for each cut, but not enough for it to be evident to the consumer that they did in fact cut the scene in the middle.

Namjoon stepped forward from his position behind the camera, Jungkook trailing behind quickly with a hardboard in his hands, struggling to keep all the papers in his grasp.

Namjoon’s aura was terrifying, especially to Jungkook who was anxious about everything related to said man. It’s as if Namjoon was the devil, controlling all the people in the room like pawns, but Namjoon didn’t think that way. He thought he just paid extra attention to detail, and sure, sometimes he did become angry but he expected everyone to meet standards, his standards.

The director pushed his glasses up with a strained look on his face, jaw clenching every second as he struggled to keep his calm. It was the thought about how imperfect the scene had been that left Namjoon in a fit of pique. He wasn't having a good day today, and to have to experience such a lackluster performance from the team dampened his mood further.

"This is a mess." He stated as soon as he got close enough to the three actors, taking in their tired forms with his equally dull eyes.

"Why? I thought everything was fine?" Misha started after handing her empty bottle to Yoongi, stepping forward with the robe loosely tied around her bare skin.

She looked ethereal without a doubt. Even with fresh streaks of black on her face, her face exuded sensuality, and her body was curved in just the right places for her to garner a relatively large base of loyal fans who were charmed by the way she could get them aroused with just a flutter of her eyes.

"Wait. Someone get ___ from upstairs first." He declared to no one in particular, but the job would be done soon. He had the power, and he knew it. He smirked when he heard thudding on the stairs. The set was quiet enough for him to listen to the labored breathing of the unfortunate man racing to get to the first floor. No one disobeyed Namjoon.

"I'll be there in two minutes!" Your sweet voice called out from the floor above, making the men in the studio anticipate your arrival, shivers spreading down their spines.

"Okay, first of all, you guys are doing a girlfriend-boyfriend roleplay. It’s supposed to be romantic, just a little bit lovey-dovey, yeah? And you guys look like you’re having a one-night stand.” Namjoon sighed.

“Wait- but- the people said they wanted rougher stuff. Go check the comments on Tanhub.” Taehyung countered with an exasperated look on his face.

“I know, and that shooting is scheduled for next week,” And Taehyung shut his mouth. “Anyways, Misha, you look disinterested, and your moaning sounds very forced; genuinely enjoy it, yeah? And you guys look like you are hammering a rabbit with your dicks." Namjoon turned to look at Misha's fucked out face and then at the two men who looked disgusted at the director's comment.

"Tell me that when you don't have a dick as big as Taehyung's down your throat. It's not even my fault, my throat wasn't warmed up properly, and I'm just not in the mood." She grumbled in reply, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Alright, we will do something about that. Is Misha's fluffer on set?" A trembling Jungkook stepped forward from the shadows, cowering under his boss's gaze. He immediately shuffled through the schedule papers in his hands, coming up with nothing, and then he saw you skipping down the stairs.

His gaze was stuck on your form, wearing the shortest pair of shorts he had ever seen on anybody, your ass cheeks falling out and jiggling deliciously with every step you took their way. You hadn't gone easy on them with your crop top either. The cut dipped down all the way from your collarbone, showing off your sternum. The sides of your supple breasts were visible for their eyes to feast on, and boy did they appreciate the sight.

"You called me Mr. Kim?" You chirped, looking over all the people on the floor before your gaze landed on the tallest man in the room.

"Hi Princess, Misha's fluffer didn't come in today?" He smiled, and your heart fluttered.

"No. Jihoon did, but he left a while back because there was an emergency. He told me to tell you, but since you were in your element, I didn't."

Namjoon’s thick lips parted in a sigh, his hand going to ruffle his hair in exasperation.

"Okay, we will figure something out for Misha; how about you go help Jin and Taehyung till then? We'll resume after a break, everyone be back in 20."

"Alright! Let’s go!" You chirped with a grin, happy to spend time with some of your favorite people. Said men were quick to grab each of your hands, rushing you to one of the empty corners of the studio, covered with flimsy curtains, where they could have their privacy with you.

Though their jobs required them to be exposed in front of the camera, showing off all their assets, they still preferred to keep something to cover themselves up. it definitely worked in their favor when you would trail your hands over their muscular thighs, lightly scratching with your fingertips to keep them worked up.

That being said, they didn't need you to ‘fluff’ them up; your presence was enough to have them turned on for days, but there was something in the way you looked at them, touched them with the lightest yet most sinful hands that made them groan in pleasure and want more, more even after fucking a woman just moments before.

It was something you did, or rather you that had them weak in their knees.

"Hi Tae, Jin! How have you guys been?" You smiled.

Their breaths quickened when they saw you drop to the floor and tie your hair up in a ponytail, your top riding up even further and revealing the tattoo under your breasts to them.

It was a simple flower vine, the blank ink spread from your sideboob all the way under the curve, but to this day, being able to see so much of you felt like a dream despite having known you for two years now.

It certainly had an effect on them, one which you were not oblivious to. You knew them enough to understand when they were really enjoying themselves and when they weren't. Their moans from before left a sour taste in your mouth- they weren't authentic or the low, deep groans you had the pleasure of hearing every once in a while. They were forced and intermittent, and you knew it was time to change into your sexiest, most revealing clothes to make them shift in their seats.

It was the moment you had been waiting for a long time.

"Hi, ___," Taehyung mumbled, his fiery gaze fixed on you.

Having you here right now, in such a compromising position, in front of their chairs, was a bad mistake. Your job was to keep them hard during breaks but it didn't help that they had had a crush on you since the moment they saw you walking down the set timidly on your first day as a fluffer.

Though it was probably them who spent the most time with you, this intimately, this passionately. And hearing the boys whine every second of the day about their lack of you only made them grateful for the few moments you spent with them on workdays.

And it’s not like the others understood how it took all they had in them not to bust a nut; although they longed to cover your tits with their seed, they would have to wait for another day to indulge in such possessions. It was another level of self-control that they had edged themselves for hours to get to.

"Can I touch you now?" You gazed at them with longing eyes, and they were immediately nodding their heads.

"Thank you."

You dipped your hands under their robes, getting a feel of their calves and then their muscular thighs, not too fast, caressing the soft yet tense skin with a grin on your face. You didn't have it in you to look them in their eyes, you knew it would make you want to submit under their dominant gazes, so you kept your eyes fixed on your hands.

With a shaky breath, you begin to inch them up, teasing them. Their hearts began palpitating in their chests the more you got closer to their cocks. They knew what you were doing, they had played the game with you every time. But after a very uneventful work day, they were horny, patience wearing off every second.

"I suggest you stop teasing, baby. Don't make me get Jimin over here." Jin clicked his tongue in annoyance.

You shifted on your knees. It was your job to tease them. To keep them ready, not enough for them to cum. Jimin, your supervisor, had told you to do the same. How could you disobey his direct orders?

"Your job is to tease, ___, not to make them orgasm. Make them crave you. Use your mouth or your hands, it doesn't matter; as long as they stay hard enough to continue, you get paid." He had told you at the time of your job briefing, grazing his fingers over his thighs, which you couldn't help but gawk at.

You didn't understand what bringing Jimin here could do except for making your day even better. You imagined he would, in fact, just sit there and monitor you with hooded eyes, his legs spread wide enough for you to be able to steal a glance at his erection.

But you were sure it was just your horny mind speaking.

So you ignored their words, feeling your breath start to quicken, lust coursing through your veins from how excited you were to disobey them. It was the thrill of breaking the rules that made blood rush all over your body. They couldn't punish you even if you wanted them to, it was all a part of a job- your job as their fluffer, as much as you hated to admit it.

You rub your palms over them with a feathery touch, wanting to make them wait for you. It was a sight to behold- the two twitching in their seats, and moaning for you. Their cocks were still covered by the silk robe, enticing you to touch them and lick them. Though you could see the outline clearly, it didn't satisfy the hunger in your throat, it never did, so you removed it.

And the sight would always leave you dumbstruck.

Taehyung's was, by far, the longest cock you had ever seen and tasted. His thick cock that twitched under your eager eyes, laid on his abs, long fingers rubbing his chin as if he was deep in thought. He was almost easily seven inches long, and you always commended anyone who had the power to manage an entire shoot with him.

Jin, on the flip side, was equally impressive, if not more. Though his length was maybe an inch shorter than Taehyung's, his girth made up for it. You were sure of the pleasurable burn it would provide when it split open a pussy, massaging the walls like no one else could. His thrusts were harsh and powerful too, thanks to his impeccable hips, and you never understood how one can be so perfect.

As you continued practically gawking over them, your cunt heating in your panties, it was Jin whose resolve finally broke and he grabbed your hand that was fisted in his robe and pulled you towards him in a swift motion. Your knees scraped against the ground uncomfortably, but that was the least of your worries when you saw the need in Jin's eyes.

You gazed at him with startled eyes, your mouth itching to ask if you did something wrong. Jin had his hand wrapped around the base of his cock, his leaking slit smearing his precum all over your reddened lips. You could taste a mixture of Misha's sweet pussy juices and his cum on your tongue, and that ignited a fire in your veins.

"Sweetie, put your mouth over his cock right now; you do not want to disobey us," Taehyung growled under his breath, his hands moving to undo his robe and grasp his cock tightly.

“But what about you?” You asked.

“Don’t worry about me, ___; you have no idea about the effect you have on me." His stare pierced into your eyes as he spoke.

You flushed but complied immediately, parting your lips and taking him in your mouth. Hollowing your cheeks just the right amount as you take him in. All nervousness left your body the second you felt the weight of his cock on your tongue, it felt like it belonged there, heavy and warm. His cock was long enough to hit the back of your throat easily and thick enough to make your jaw throb with pain increasingly every second, but it was all a part of your wonderful job.

"You look so pretty with your lips around my cock." Jin let out a pleasurable sigh at the feeling, your nails digging into his thighs at the praise, your tongue swirling around his tip, and he let his head fall back. Your eyes were closed due to the strain, but every sharp inhale and moan and sigh you heard was a reward, and you clenched your empty hole, wanting nothing more for him to fuck you.

With a pop, you removed your mouth from his cock, taking in deep breaths. You looked up at him only to see him staring down at you with lust-lidded eyes, his breathing heavy like yours. You were taken aback when his hand moved to grip yours, long fingers interlocking with yours and wrapping them around his thick cock and stroking it, sticky sounds amplifying in your ear.

You struggled to keep your eyes on his, feeling bashful under his stare, so you wrapped your lips around his tip again, licking his tip and coating it with your saliva. With his chest reverberating in a deep groan, you felt your panties starting to stick to your core uncomfortably. You gasped when his hand left yours, and you stopped yours too, wanting to ask him why. But you couldn’t when his hand pushed your head down on his cock in one go, his tip hitting the back of your throat.

"That's a good fucking girl. F-Fuck, baby, you feel so good!" He growled, the thrust of his hips starting to increase in pace, as you stopped bobbing your head up and down and let him take control of you. You gagged with every thrust when the tip of his cock hit the back of your throat, bruising the flesh of your mouth, but you wanted it.

With each thrust, you moaned around him, hearing him curse and groan above you. You were so lost in the intoxicating feeling of his cock hitting the back of your throat; you couldn't make out when his length throbbed in your mouth or when his balls tightened, filling with his cum, or when he released the deepest growl you ever heard and spilled his hot cum in your mouth.

Jin knew he shouldn’t do it,knew it was bad, knew it would get him in trouble with Namjoon later. But seeing the girl of his dreams on her knees, sucking his cock with the warmest and most tempting mouth he had ever had the pleasure of fucking, was far too much for him to control, so maybe it was okay to let go, he decided.

"Fuck, baby, so fucking good for us, gonna make you mine one day! Fuck!" He hummed under his breath. You couldn't hear him over the loud, slick noises of your drooling saliva and his cum, whimpering at the taste of his hot seed coating your tongue- sweet like honey with hints of citrus, a flavor you could easily get addicted to.

"Shit, baby, you're milking my cock! F-fuck!" He continued riding out his high, not caring that the shoot would have to be prolonged. You let him have it after weighing your options after the hazy feeling in your mind disappeared; the only thing you could do was wait for him to get hard again. He continued bobbing your head up and down, swallowing thickly at the sight of you looking fucked out and dizzy after just giving a blowjob.

Some cum dripped down from your mouth and on his shaft, and you darted your tongue out to lick it. Dragging the muscle as slowly as you could over his length, you gave it small kitten licks, rolling your tongue back into your mouth to taste him with your eyes shut closed. You sighed, finally feeling full and hearty.

A deep groan on your left side caught your attention. Taehyung was sitting with his legs spread wide in his chair, forehead glistening with sweat, and was busy rubbing his thumb over his slit that oozed precum, the sight inviting you to wrap your lips around his cock.

You were tempted to suck him dry the same way you had milked Seokjin, but you couldn’t make the same mistake again. It would be unprofessional of you to make him cum; it always had been to wind them up, but never to bring them relief.

"Having fun here, aren’t we?" You turned your head, jumping in alarm at the presence of an all too familiar voice in your little corner, the curtains already back in their place.

Curse your weak heart for jumping up in a mix of emotions because of Jimin’s voice, both good and bad.

There had never really been any set professional boundaries between you all, even from the day he had interviewed you for this job. It had always been a mixture of seductive looks from said men, shy glances from you, and sexual tension that was almost suffocating. Neither had the guts to finally make a move, but you couldn’t deny how your heart palpitated in your chest whenever you were in their presence.

You only hoped the feelings were reciprocated, and not just a result of lust.

It probably affected Namjoon the most how you were always near, yet never seemed to be in his grasp. Still, he liked to maintain his distance from a professional stand, but he too was in the same predicament as you: down bad but scared.

You couldn’t see the way Taehyung smirked at the fury in Namjoon’s eyes, who squeezed in next to Jimin in the tiny space, pushing down the small bit of empathy he felt for the man.

“Tsk, is this what I hired you for, ___? Hmm?” Jimin’s condescending tone brought you back to earth and then punched you ten feet under.

You could feel the dread set in with every step your way, and a thousand scenarios ran in your head. Would you be fired, suspended, or worse, replaced? Someone else taking your position made you want to gag. The mere thought of it was bad enough, but what if it actually happened?

They were right. You had one job, one, yet you couldn’t do it right. The self-hatred started before another word was uttered in the room and you could already feel your eyes burn with unshed tears and the tip of your nose become itchy, a telltale sign of what was to come.

“You made Jin cum, didn’t you?”

“Jimin, stop.” Namjoon finally spoke up, feeling the teasing atmosphere turn damp.

“I thought you would be better at this.”

“Jimin, I said stop.”

As if sensing the way you stopped moving and just turned your head downwards, covering your face using the length of your hair, with your hands having retreated to your sides as if touching any of them burnt your skin, Jin shoots a sharp glare in their direction. He fisted his hands, feeling worse by the minute, but not knowing what to do. Should he comfort you, rub your back, hope with everything in his being that you weren't actually upset at their teasing tone?

One, breathe in.

Five, hold it.

Seven, control your emotions.

Nine, breathe out.

You did not know how much time passed by as you kept breathing in and out, but once you did regain a grip on yourself, you got up from your knees, ignoring the way your muscles shouted in protest. You didn’t hear them gasp at the way your form trembled for a second, both in fear and embarrassment, before stilling.

“I’m sorry Mr. Park, Mr. Kim, we got lost in the heat of the moment. It won’t happen again.” You looked them in the eye as you spoke.

But in all honesty, you didn’t know what you were apologizing for. Were you sorry you made Jin feel good, or that you somehow prolonged the shoot, or was it because it went against the terms of your job? You couldn’t pinpoint it but you felt slightly disappointed in yourself, yet you didn’t show it as much as you thought you would.

“Will you both be okay for the next 10 minutes like this? I’ll go to Misha.” You asked the two men who wore confusion on their faces.

You looked at them again, bowing lightly before making your way out of the stall the very next second, making your way to Misha’s usual place with shaky legs, the surge of confidence wearing down by the second.

After having been subjected to praises and sweet words of affection, this was a punch in the gut to say the least, and maybe that’s why you were overreacting. It’s really easy to cross the line from playful to not, and that was what happened.

“Oh, ___! Hey, I was looking for you. Misha was calling you, if you don’t mind?” Jeongguk rubbed the back of his neck nervously, shifting on his feet nervously. As if you could really say no to his adorable face.

“Yeah, I was just going there. Thanks for letting me know.” You patted his elbow lightly.

“Yeah…” He mumbled, dazed, as he watched you make your way to Misha. If heart eyes were a person, it would definitely be Jeon Jeongguk.

“___! My favorite girl.” Misha exclaimed as you made your way inside her ‘cabin’.

In reality, it was just a small broom closet, cleaned to perfection and decorated with neutral tones, with small pots of green scattered here and there in a futile attempt to brighten up the place.

“Misha, hello.” You mumbled as you sat on the floor in front of her on your knees, lips parting in an inaudible wince at the feeling.

“Here, baby.” She removed a pillow from her side and put it below your knees, watching as you blushed slightly before moving closer to her.

“Not your baby.” You retorted, spreading her legs gently and pushing your head to the crevice between her thighs. Your nose met her clit, the woman above you letting out a small moan at the stimulation. Your hands gripped her thighs, rubbing small circles there with your thumbs.

“But you could be.” She chuffed, making you bite down on her clit lightly.

“Okay, okay! Slowly, baby, don’t go too hard, alright?” By now you knew that her tone was essentially a code word signifying her want to be worshiped, treated like a goddess, and taken time to properly arouse, love and lick.

The smell of her pussy was the sweetest candy you have ever tasted on a woman. You darted the tip of your tongue out, licking at her clit, slowly. Tasting her juices, watching as it elicited a soft sigh from her. It had been a long time since you ate her out, but she tasted the same as ever. You angled your head into her folds, nudging her legs further apart.

“Taste good?” She mumbled, her voice seductive and inviting, combing through your hair. An outsider may have just thought you two were lovers by the sheer passion of it all.

“Hmm. More.” You whimpered with your eyes closed, continuing to savor her at your own pace.

With shaky hands, you pried her thighs apart, gaining better access to her cunt. You immediately lapped at her clit, drawing ‘eights’ with the tip of your tongue before wrapping your mouth around it and sucking it into your mouth. A groan left her mouth, and you could feel her hand clench at her side before it came down to guide your tongue into her hole.

With need coursing through your veins, you thrust your tongue into her tight hole, still continuing with your slow pace. Her scent was stronger now; you almost felt drunk on it.

You heard the door open, but you were too far gone into your actions that everything seemed to be a blur except for your desire to taste the woman. You could feel her motions on your hand stop and you whined. A beat of silence ensued before she was continuing with her tender motions and you were back to lazily licking at her wetness.

The same clicking sound was heard again and Misha placed her hand on your cheeks, moving your body upwards to her, placing your head in the crook of her neck as you shivered. She ignored your protests, cooing at the pout on your face before guiding you towards her lips. You lapped at them hungrily, like a woman starved of the simple pleasure of warmth.

Misha pulled you away from her far too quickly for your liking, caressing your cheeks and shushing you lightly. “Baby, baby, baby, what’s gotten into you today? You aren’t usually so placid. Tell me, I’ll make it better.”

You ignored her, moving towards the dip of her chest, before shaking your head.

“___, tell me.” She spoke, a little more aggressive than you could have handled in your state of mind,

“Don’t be mean.” You pouted.

“Then tell me what’s wrong.”

“I made Jin cum and I think Mr. Park is mad at me.” You whispered your worries to her.

“Oh, shit. Uh wow. Did he scold you or call you to his room after or… anything at all? Are you in trouble?”

“No, he didn’t, but his tone was like,” You struggled to find the right words. “When you make fun of me when you see me trip over the cables in the main room. I still don’t like it when you do that.”

“And you think I’m mocking you when I do that?” Misha questioned, to which you nodded your head.

“Oh my god.” She whispered under her breath. “Silly girl, I don’t make fun of you when I say that. It’s adorable that you are clumsy sometimes. You look around with those terrified eyes of yours, when actually many of us already saw you trip.”

“Are you freaking kidding me? Everyone saw that? How am I gonna show my face to them now?” You threw your hands around, exasperated at the revelation.

She chuckled before bringing your attention back to her. “See, you’re so cute. Now, back to what we were discussing. I wouldn’t be afraid if I were you, ___. Really, just trust me on this one.”

“But why? Gimme a reason at least!”

“I’m older, I’ve seen the ways of the world more than you have, so shut your pretty mouth up and listen.” You immediately zipped your mouth, waiting patiently for her next words.

“Boys are icky but you do you, baby. If Mr. Park indeed got mad, and he confronts you or whatever, repeat the exact same words I’m gonna tell you, alright?”

You nod, anticipation heavy in your eyes.

“Tell him to go suck his own dick and hope he chokes on his cum.”

A terrified gasp and maniacal laugh were heard simultaneously in the room.

“Misha! Are you crazy? Is this your villain arc or something? I’d get fired in an instant.”

“Hey, babe, you never know what that sneaky little shit is into, okay? I’m just very inclusive to all tastes and preferences.” She had the audacity to wink at you.

“Yeah, Misha, no. As much as I love you, you’re fucking crazy.”

“Aww, you love me? I’m a pile of mush now, save me!” She squished your cheeks in her hand, pecking the skin peaking out softly.

“Misha- oh,” You heard Yoongi’s voice in the room, dying down towards the end. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb the two of you.” His tone turned gruff at the end.

“Nah, it’s cool. I was just about to come out anyway.” She shot you a cheeky smile and helped you get up from your frozen state, pushing you down on the sofa before walking out with Yoongi on her tail.

“See you later, babe.”

…

“Jimin, what the actual fuck did you do? Did you have to be so condescending?”

“I wasn’t trying to! It just came out like fucking word vomit!” Jimin grumbled, holding his head in his hands like a man defeated.

“Well, thank you for messing everything up. How do you suppose we rectify this, you brat?” Jin scoffed, fighting the urge to snap.

“I don’t know. I really don’t.”

“Now, you morons, I will be calling in for a favor and y’all better be grateful that our girl doesn’t slip from our hands before we have even treated her right.”

“What are you going on about?” Namjoon mumbled, rolling his eyes at another one of Jin’s stupid schemes.

“You’ll see.”

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭. @scentedsope @pb-n-juju @ot7nem @bangtanflirt @purplebtsmagic @kookstempo @take-u-2-an0ther-w0r1d @likeshatteredrainbowglass @natalia-rmnva @myyeoubi @sebootyforlife @seongsanniehwa @dumb-cxm-slxt @maichiverse @portia-bts @sybilvvriting @taestrwbrry @bt21chim @daydreamqueenjaycee @leatherbabyfairy @dollhobigem @singukieee @malewife-supremacy @jeontier @mageprincess7 @effielumiere @mrcleanheichou @blushingatyou @doublebunv @chieftoadturkeynickel @laura-naruto-fan1998 @borataehyungiee @readers-posts @totallynoanalien @ftyoongi @faceaeter @tinyoonsblog @just-me-and-myselfs @their-tongue-technology @jksjx @rjsmochii @kyrah-williams @paymeinkash @lovely-joon @floral-recs @dahliasbouqet @dreamamubarak @cjphoenix-blog @yn-lifeu @ohshutupjimin @drarry-4-lifers @kimsaerom

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marengogo · 1 year

Text

Rambling in INFJese - Part 9: Dear Future Baby Jikooker and Some Jikookers as well…

Listening to album D-DAY - by Agust D ON REPEAT

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

🐺 — 🐺 — 🐺—

Dear Future Baby Jikooker,

Here is a letter from me to you, who have just stepped into this curious neck of the woods, but also for Jikookers, who presently might feel lost, in this neck of the woods. This is going to be a long-ass post, ops 😬. In my defence, it could have been even much longer than it is, but let’s be real, there is only so much you might be willing to read at this stage and, at the same time, only so much I can write before I stray well out of topic. BUT let’s start with a welcome, shall we? A very big welcome to those of you who have decided, for one reason or another and we will touch on that to be “Jikookers”. Welcome and congratulations: you’ve officially picked the most fear-inducing, hate-provoking, blasted-ass ship, perhaps, in history but that is just my perception, admittedly, Cleopatra and Mark Anthony might have been good contenders, by the fandom they belong to and most of all shippers within the fandom as well.

SO YES, welcome welcome welcome to the Tumblr side of Jikook things! Now, before we dive deeper into what awaits in my post, and most importantly, into Jikook-world, it’s best we get one thing straight, right off the bat:

Mmm … you might have already known this, in fact you are probably looking at me like “You ain’t gotta tell me that, bitch, like …” but truuuust me when I tell you that this is not as obvious or as known a fact as it ought to be … chiiiiiile 😩.

That being said, there are usually two main starting points for people who end up here, and by here, I don’t mean specifically Jikook-Tumblr, but Jikook-world in general:

You have been ARMY / BTS fans / JK and/or JM bias for a while and are thus familiar with all members in BTS at a level that is above avarage.

You have no clue about anything-BTS, but you heard that there is this “couple” in BTS, so the name of the other members is probably as much as you might know.

As you are ultimately here because of a possible romantic relationship between JK and JM, whether you are 1 or 2 doesn’t make you any better or worse than being 2 or 1. What it does however, is that it will 100% influence and condition the experience you might/will have. That, in addition with the answer to the following question which I highly suggest you ask yourself before you fully step in:

“Why am I here?”

… Perhaps “I believe Jikook is 100% real”, or “I wonder: is Jikook even real right now?”, or “I have reason to believe that Jikook might be, but actually …”, or “I’m not saying but I’m saying, Jikook?!”, or “IDGAF I just think they look good together”, etc etc etc. Trust me, there is a Jikook blog that aligns with any and all conscious and subconscious states of mind, beliefs and/or opinions. So as you proceed, you will or might not realise that some blogs simply want to find people who are like-minded, some blogs just want to rave, rant and talk about the boys to their heart's content, some blogs want to build a following/clout, and some blogs might be up to no good amongst these, some might not even realise that they are….

I, for one, got into the Jikook-world coming from type 1. BTS found me when I needed them the most and I just ended up loving all 7 of them, in different ways, but all 7 nonetheless AND as you might or might not know, I am indeed OT7. One day, as it happens to all of us, I stumbled on a shipping video on YT, it was a Taejin one: I clicked. To begin I was initially shocked that BTS would still have ships at the point in their career (this was around 2021) and I actually thought Taejin to be real … and then you see SOPE, Namjin, taekook, there were so many and all had their reasons etc. After a while I just found them all very cute and didn’t take them seriously at all.

Eventually, somehow, a Jikook video by Made in Busan appeared, I watched it and that was it: … I felt something. But even though I did feel something, I tried to ignore it because as a queer person pansexual I mostly walk around with my invisible hope on my sleeves ALL THE TIMES. So it felt that, once again, for the one millionth time, I would end up wanting them to be so real that the disappointment would crush me, making me feel that once again, people like me are undeserving of love, or at the very least, African and Asian countries are never going to accept this. At this very moment a great part of the USA, and certain parts of Europe, are the only places where famous people and not can live being who they are.

In many other places in this world, particularly African and Asian countries, it is still taboo, dangerous and even life threatening and I am in-between these two types of worlds. So I rejoice everytime a queer couple publically comes out, because even though I know I cannot be them the maximum I can do is go to pride in my pink, yellow and blue outfit it makes me happy to know that had I been born in a different continent, within a different culture, that perhaps, it could have been me. Basically, it feels that happiness for people like me is attainable, even if not for me, if others can safely make it, it would be enough for me for now.

I started from YT and WHAT A MESS IT TURNED OUT TO BE. I made the very big mistake of thinking that because jikook was so rare in the fandom, then people who believed in them were just like me trying to understand kindred spirits. I thought that we were in this to protect and potentially, if time ever would allow, to support what would have become a very influential gay couple. But as time passed, before I knew it, I found myself within the episode of the most toxic BL where, everyone heard voices, many betrayed each other for affection, all slept with each other to spite all, and some resorted to using fans in order to bully each other. The more accounts with this mentality started to appear, the more normal accounts started to disappear. It got to a point were I, a person whom in the meantime had forgotten was a OT7, started to believe that some members were indeed narcissist and any other non-self diagnosable trait. WHEN I REALISED I had to take a BIG-ASS breath, slap myself out of fiction and get-out-style-ran myself back into reality: LIKE … WHAT THE FUCK HAD JUST HAPPENED?!

I had completely forgotten about who BTS were, I got entirely lost in the wrong side of the woods for me, basically I completely forgot why I was even there in the first place! When I then myself in the only youtube channel I trusted at the time, who also suggested we should check a certain blog on Tumblr, when I did, I found a kindred spirit and never went back to YT (by that time wonsummernight had left, Made in Busan, like MizGator, were all gone). There was no forced narrative, the logical consideration of events, the unexplainable emotion of others, it was up the alley I had wanted to be. It brought it back to me just supporting real maybe-queer people like me, rather than fighting over fictional characters in a drama that had nothing to do with me at all.

I regained my rationality, and peacefully lurked, until I got curious about certain topics and decided to send in asks, or just wanted to send words of encouragement to other blogs I began to like and were constantly attacked. Eventually I realised my side of the woods was also thinning out, and because I felt like I had a lot to say as well I began this blog, to just talk, talk and talk. It was fun talking, revisiting Jikook moments with other people who thought alike or people who respectfully didn’t and still kept it at a healthy level. Speaking with other queer folk was also a perk. I literally had no expectations upon coming on Tumblr, I just wanted to keep up with Jikook, while keeping my sanity and rationality. Writing my thoughts about them also helped me lay out my opinions and, through educated speculation, maybe realise things about Jikook hadn’t before and so on and so forth. As things stand in this very moment, within my boundaries, I still believe there is something between them. Chapter 2 is what, surprising, turning out to be as I predicted it would be, to a T except for JK’s weverse, that I couldn’t predict not a single one, for shit it is all very interesting to be honest, and though I can know see things will only get harder from here on, it is okay.

Even though this place feels like it is about to become another, YT, twitter, etc. It is okay. I never had any expectations to begin with, but the fact that I know where I stand in my Jikook neck of the woods, makes my anger towards some bullshit very well directed towards said bullshit, and never towards jikook, BTS or any unrelated parties. I like that when I log off my life goes on. I love that even though I have times when I miss them a lot, it is just that and I am not going crazy over it. In the same way I love that there is a chance that within this global powerhouse of a band there might be somebody that loves like me. In the queer way I, and many others, do.

So my dear future Baby Jikooker, find out why you are here. Understand what it is you want. If it is being in delulu-land that is perfectly fine I also go there from time to time, I find it fun, and when things actually happen right from delulu-land it makes it even more fun! Just gotta trade carefully, that's all. If you wanna find friends, if you wanna talk, whatever it is, just be aware of your decisions, and possible consequences, and you will not be disappointed, hurt or disillusioned, in the long run. If you don’t like all the other members, at the very lease please respect them, because Jikook surely do love them.

If you find that this environment is becoming too much for you, protect yourself the best way you can, leave if you need to, you have the right to do so. As you keep exploring make sure to find the blog that is right for you, and if you feel like it is what you want, write your own. If something feels too good to be true, check sources, always, original content is always available. If you are okay for them to be too good to be true, then do you, it is your experience, just be mindful not to ruin it for others and I hope nobody ruins it for you.

So once again, WELCOME TO JIKOOK-WORLD. I hope you don’t get too lost and you find what you were looking for. I hope you come out of it alive, if at some point you decide to run away. And if you survive all the bullshit that might take place between now and their military service (MS), if you are still around, and Jikook just so happen to be who we think they might be; then I’ll see you on the other side, or if you want come holla.

Always respectfully yours,

Marengo.

#Rambling in INFJese #Baby Jikookers #Veteran Jikookers #Jikookers #Jikook

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chimcess · 1 year

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Birdie Shoppe || pjm (VIII)

Pairing: Jimin x Reader Other tags: Werewolf!Jimin, Witch!Reader, Shifter!Reader, Shifter!Jimin, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha!Jimin Genre: Supernatural!AU, Werewolf!AU, Angst, Mutual Pining, Fluff, Smut, Word Count: 8.8k+ Synopsis: Within the four realms of Lustra lay the Bangtan forest home to the Foxglove pack of the north and known as the “land of magic.” It is also home to the Birdie, a powerful witch from a cursed bloodline who is one of the sacred guardians of the forest. Y/N is the 123rd Birdie, a young girl who was given her position too early and asked by the goddess herself to fulfil a task none had ever done before- become the Grand Witch of the Foxglove pack. Now a woman, Y/N is revered as the most loved and powerful Birdie of all time, but hiding under the surface is a woman who has to battle between her duty and her heart. Warnings: Cursing, ANGSTY, crying, emotional turmoil, panic attack, anxiety, some fluff, more backstory, banter, mentions of violence, talks of death, just a lot of heart strings being pulled in every direction, the slow burn is slow burning, brief mentions of sex, brief sexual tension A/N: I love all of these characters so much it’s insane. Thank you so much for your continued loved and support with this series. Writing this had been so much for me and I appreciate your kind words more than anything! This was originally going to be a much longer chapter, but after seeing how long we were getting already I decided to break it in half. The next part will be up in a few weeks! (also how do we feel about the roman numerals instead of numbers?)

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The sun was high in the sky, its rays warming my face as I stood by the window and laughed. Outside my friends had been tending my small garden while I sat inside and made dolls with the children. Litha has always been one of my favorite sabbots to celebrate even if I could only enjoy it looking out a window. Beside me, Mariana showed off her pretty doll covered in flower petals and colorful yarn. With a large grin on my face I told her how beautiful it was.

The sea coven had come over to celebrate along with Seokjin and Yoongi. Wendy had attacked me the second she saw me, her hug knocking all the air from my chest, and I knew we were alright. She and Jin had spoken and smiled with one another and warmth spread throughout my chest. I was glad to see they were able to be friendly with one another. I was even happier when she hardly acknowledged Yoongi’s presence outside of a greeting. The kitchen witch seemed happier about it than Jin.

I heard Cordelia’s boisterous laugh from outside as she began telling Taehyung the story of a “little thief.” Rolling my eyes, I laughed to myself. I would never live down taking from her garden it seems. I heard Hyun-Jin brush her off, his deep voice smooth and monotone, and Wendy’s shrill laugh follow. Everyone was in high spirits today. Looking out the window again, I caught sight of Jimin and Yoona talking. Yoongi’s mother had moved out of Bangtan after Aldara’s death, as did Hoji, Heji, and Taejin, and I had not seen her much since. I was happy everyone had decided to come today. It had been a very long time since we were all together like this. Feeling my eyes on him, Jimin looked my way and grinned.

I smiled back at him shyly before holding up my own doll. They were a very common thing to make during the sabbots. Normally, you would use whatever you had lying around and sticks. This morning everyone had gone out to collect sticks, twigs, leaves, and flowers for the kids to get started with. I had gone out of my way to gather up my crafting supplies so they could have extra options. My doll was a simple bundle of twigs wearing a skirt of leaves and wildflowers. Jimin’s smile grew and he gave me a thumbs up. Giggling, I went back to helping the kids make the doll bodies.

“Snatcher!” Cordelia yelled, her voice thick with amusement. “Why haven’t you told these gentlemen about the fae incident?”

Knocking my head back, I laughed loudly and clutched my stomach. It had been so long since I had felt this carefree. Leave it to Cordelia to bring up one of our most embarrassing childhood stories.

“It never came up,” I got out, wiping the tears from my eyes.

I could hear my trio of friends all protesting, their laughter just as bright as mine. Wendy begged Cordelia to not speak a word while Jin threatened to never send her another shipment of honey again. Putting my doll down, I leaned against the windowsill and chuckled.

“When we were about nine,” I started. Cordelia laughed as their insults were not being weighed at me. “Yoon, Jin, Wen, and I were all out in the forest playing. We were very serious about our games then and tag was the most ruthless game of them all. We played dirty, too.”

I laughed to myself at the memory. We had gone way too far into the forest and up into Moland. While I was allowed to explore everywhere I wanted to go, Wendy was forbidden from going out of the forest and her aunt would be very angry with her if she had. We had not noticed how far away we had gone until Jin had found himself falling into the swamp.

“Well, while we were in Moland,” I continued, “We had gotten really scared. We always heard the story of the three-eyed alligator from Thelma, she’s a swamp witch who is good friends with everyone, and we thought we were going to get eaten up. Instead, Jin fell, sprained his ankle, and got stuck in a fairy circle.

“Or, at least that’s what we thought. We made such a fuss over him and how he was going to be lost forever that we disturbed an actual forest faerie. They’re called Ghillie Dhus and they’re very nice. Well, all of us thought that it was about to steal Jin so we tried to fight it. Instead, it just laughed at us and said he had just fallen into a mushroom patch.”

Wendy laughed, “And then I started crying because it was getting dark!”

I nodded, struggling to catch my breath. “And then Yoon begged the fairy to take us home.”

Yoongi finally cut in, a large smile on his face. “Thelma ended up finding us cause we were being so loud and got us all in trouble.”

“Except for B,” Jin pouted. “Aldara always let her get away with stuff like that.”

I scoffed, “You try being trapped inside for eighty years and telling someone else they can’t explore.”

A kid tapped my shoulder and the conversation was dropped. Taking the bundle of twigs, I wrapped them tightly with cord before taking another bundle and tying them with an ‘x’ to create the arms. It looked like a cross before you added the legs. Adding another set of twigs to the bottom, the doll could stand up by itself and I glued a puffy ball to the top of the neck. The child, Diggory, thanked me and started decorating. That would be his fourth doll. Mariana still had the most of them all.

The house began to smell of bread and I smiled. Everyone had brought something to eat with them. We always made focaccia here so I kept the tradition alive. Cordelia made sure to cook lots of fish while Yoongi made a delicious soup. Jin, like always, brought nothing except honey. Yoona had brought homemade lilac wine with her and the Kims made a delicious tofu stir fry. Later today I would have the kids help me make my famous lilac and lemon shortbread cookies. Jin had gotten so excited when I told him I was planning on making them and got Taehyung to join in on his begging, so I felt obligated to entertain them just this once.

“When are we getting cookies?” Seokjin whined, his timing creeping me out.

I hated when that happened.

“Whenever I get around to making them,” I replied, sassily. “If you want them so badly you can make them yourself.”

Still, despite my remarks I stood up and went over to my recipe book. They were extremely easy to make but I was not sure if I had enough butter to make them. I had not made any nut butters in a few weeks, but looking over the recipe again I was not as worried. I only needed two sticks or 16 tablespoons. Poking the inside of my cheek, I nodded and took out a few bowls and spoons.

“Who wants to help?” I asked.

All five of the children jumped at the idea and I had my hands full keeping them all under control. Mariana only agreed to let me zest the lemons if I let her cream the butter and sugar together by herself. Diggory and his brother Zyell fought over who would add the lemon juice and who would roll the dough. I told Diggory he could pour the lemon juice but Zyell would be able to put the arrowroot powder. Everyone would get the chance to cut out the cookies.

“What’s in the sugar?” Cordelia’s daughter, Rori, asked.

Chuckling, I shook my head and told the kids to step away from the cookies. Capturing their attention was simple enough, and once they noticed the sugar had a slight purple hue and flowers in it they were climbing all over me to get a closer look. I had to admit, infused sugars always looked beautiful. Lilac sugar was the prettiest of them all.

“It’s infused sugar,” I explained. I got a large round of ego boosting “oh’s” and grinned. “Those purple things are lilacs. They’re delicious when you add them to the sugar.”

“Where did you learn that?” Diggory asked.

My smile fell slightly, “My aunt.”

“Woah,” Zyell exclaimed overdramatically. “She must have been the greatest, best cook ever in the world.”

Laughing, I shooed them away and went back to making the cookies. It was strange having children so young running around the cottage. The thoughts of Jimin and the Yule tree came to my mind again and I shook my head in frustration. I needed to pay attention. I would not put anything about this mischievous bunch.

“All of you,” I demanded, “Outside. Now. I have to turn the stove on and none of you are allowed around the fire. Understand?”

“Yes, cousin B,” Rori sing-songed before they all ran out the front door.

Striking up the fire, I laughed to myself at the title. Since when did I become cousin B? I would have to speak to Wendy about that. Listening to the conversations outside, I felt giddy as I finished putting the cookies in the oven. I began to make a simple glaze icing and hummed along to the melody in my head.

“May I ask you something, Jimin?” My ears pricked at the sound of Yoona’s voice.

“Yes, ma’am,” He replied.

He sounded slightly out of breath and I put the icing to the side for a moment. The sun was high in the sky now and they had to be thirsty. Taking out a few glasses, I placed them on a small tray.

“Can I trust you to take care of Birdie for me?” The older witch asked, her voice earnest.

Embarrassed, I bucked my head slightly as I grabbed my large decanter of smreka. It was nice to hear her still looking after me even though I was a woman now. I felt guilty for not keeping up with her as often as I should have. Aldara would be furious with me if she were here.

“She’s very important to me,” Jimin replied, his voice dropping slightly. I could not hear if he said anything more after that since Taehyung’s loudness echoed through my meadow. Gritting my teeth, I focused harder. “I’ll be sure she’s taken care of.”

Yoona sighed, “Thank goodness. I worry about her so much. It might sound silly but after the wolf situation I’ve been on pins and needles.”

My entire body froze and all of the conversations around me stopped. It was an honest mistake, a slip up, but that did not stop my anger from flaring. The betrayal hit me like a truck and the fondness for Yoona I had felt moments before evaporated. How dare she?

“What are you talking about?” Jin asked.

I squeezed my eyes shut and slammed the decanter on the island. The bowl of icing shook with the force. Focusing on my breathing, I knew I would have to play this off as best I could and hoped to God that Yoona would do the same.

As always, she bounced back from her mistake with ease.

“Don’t you remember that giant wolf that used to run around the forest a few years ago? It was massive and used to scare Birdie when she was a little kid.”

Hoji laughed, “Oh! Aldara used to giggle about it with me over tea sometimes.”

“Afraid of wolves, B?” Taehyung teased.

He had gotten comfortable with the nickname after overhearing Jin use it.

“Watch your mouth, freeloader,” I shot back, my wits still about. “It would be a shame if you had nowhere to sleep tonight.”

He laughed, “Please! Jin would take me in.”

The witch snorted in reply. “As if!”

Breathing easier, I went back to pouring. Filling them halfway, I used magic to lift small balls of the drink out of the decanter. Twirling them around in the air, I sang softly to myself and froze them all. I placed them in each of the glasses, having to redo the spell multiple times in order to chill each of them, before lifting the tray.

“What’s that?” Cordelia asked, taking the tray from me.

“Smreka,” I explained. “It’s fermented alcohol made from juniper and water. I like to sweeten it with agave nectar but honey is fine, too.”

The witch took a hefty sip before smiling. She liked it. Happy with my work, I took the glass I had made for myself and Cordelia passed around glasses to the others. Taehyung was not as happy with it but he was not a fan of alcohol. Frowning, I asked if he wanted lemonade instead.

Shaking his head he replied, “It’s fine. Good actually. Just strong.”

Taejin snorted, “You think this is strong? I can’t think of anything lighter.”

Hoji shoved his shoulder.

“Leave the boy alone. He’s just a lightweight is all.”

Taehyung seemed excited by the notion. I shook my head and sipped on my drink. Taejin was right. This was hardly considered alcohol and would take more than a few jars to have any effect. However, I was happy my friend liked it. I would have to let him try the lilac wine I would make this year. It was a very big hit.

After finishing my drink, I knew it was time to take the cookies out. I was very happy with the result and left them to cool for several minutes. The garden looked beautiful this year and I was immensely grateful to everyone who came. Grabbing two fistfuls of lilacs from my pantry, I placed them to the side so I could candy them.

“You eat rabbit food,” Cordelia joked.

“I’ve seen rabbits with better diets,” Heji chimed.

I ignored their taunts. Yoongi and I always received the most flack for our lifestyles. The kitchen witch less so than I. He would not avoid meat altogether and often feasted during holidays. I was far more conscious of my diet. The last cheat I had allowed myself was honey in my tea on the occasion. It was usually out of convenience or lack of other options, still I would never say I was perfect. I had even drank tea with honey at Jimin’s home. The memory brought a fresh set of butterflies to my stomach.

I still could not believe he had kept that stupid piece of paper.

“Did you know red meat isn’t good for you?” Yoongi mocked.

Taking the lilacs off the stove, I began icing the cookies and putting the flowers on the top of them. They would need to sit for a few more minutes. Lifting my hands, the dirty dishes around me started floating. Putting them in the sick, I charmed a sponge and soap to begin cleaning. The sponge bowed to me before turning on the water.

“Lettuce has no nutritional value,” Wendy bit back.

Laughing I poked my head out of the window.

“Enough. Come in and wash up. We have cookies to eat.”

Jin was inside before I could finish my sentence.

Jimin sat down beside me on the floor. The afternoon had settled everyone down and spread us around the house. The rose bushes in front of the house had been trimmed back beautifully and not a single thorn had been left behind. Yoongi had fallen asleep on my big, red chair and the other witches were talking quietly at the dining table. Cordelia had left earlier to bring the kids home. Smiling at the wolf, I rested my head on his shoulder.

“Thank you for helping with the garden,” I said.

He wrapped his arm around my waist. “Anytime.”

He pulled away and left me feeling cold. Wanting to frown, I scooted closer to him and sighed heavily. Everything felt right when we were this close but still the dangers coming were hard to push away. I could only hope that we would make it through whatever it may be before it was too late.

Kissing the top of my head, Jimin hummed.

“What’s going through that mind of yours?”

I smiled bashfully, “How nice this feels.”

That pulled a large, toothy grin out of the wolf. He was always ready and waiting for compliments like that. Shaking my head, I scoffed.

“Don’t let that get to your head now,” I mumbled.

“Too late for that,” Jimin teased. “Come on. Indulge me.”

Pushing his chest, I scowled playfully. Jimin’s eyes lit up and I smiled back at him. If only I could stay in his orbit… If only…

“You’re very handsome, though I’m sure you already know that. Have I ever told you how lovely your dimple is? I can’t remember-”

“Alright, alright,” He laughed, cradling my face in his hands. “I get it. Thank you. You’re embarrassing me.”

I laughed. He was somehow worse with compliments than I was. I heard Taehyung laughing from somewhere in the house and grew even more amused. If there was one person who enjoyed how flustered I could make Jimin it would have to be Kim Taehyung. Jimin groaned, obviously hearing the laughter even more clearly than I could, and hid his face in my hair.

“Now you’ve done it,” He complained. “I won’t hear the end of this for at least another week.”

The sadness weighing on my heart deepened. I did not think we had another week for Taehyung to tease Jimin. We would be lucky if we lasted a few days. I do not know why I felt that way, or how I could possibly know it, but I did. I stopped questioning it a long time ago.

“Poor thing,” I mocked.

I did not want to sour his good mood. Jimin had been radiant today and I would hate to take the happiness out of his eyes. Even if a part of me felt selfish for doing so, I wanted to keep him this way until the bitter end. I would always want to remember us this way. Twisting my head up, I kissed his jawline and curled into his side ever so slightly more.

“Oh, B!” Wendy exclaimed. “I’m so happy you’re finally together.”

“Same,” Yoongi deadpanned. “Still. A warning would have been nice. We are friends, aren’t we?”

I laughed, “Of course! I just didn’t know how to bring it up.”

“Just say it,” Jin replied, his tone condescending and filled with sarcasm.

“And you’re just the expert at love,” I replied, snarkily.

Jin laughed. We both knew the teasing was in good nature and rarely got upset with one another. Jimin leaned into me. I had not felt the need to hide our relationship anymore and after talking to Shiloh, I had felt even less inclined to remain subtle. My familiar had not been surprised but was hurt I had not told her sooner. She was even more dramatic when she learned that Wendy had known more than she did. It took a long night of talking to calm her down but she was happy for me. She could not remember the last time I had seemed so certain. Neither had I.

“Son,” Hoji warned, waving her finger at Seokjin. “Don’t go picking fights you can’t win.”

“You mother’s right,” Taejin added. “Crow would snap you in half.”

This made everyone laugh. It was no secret my fighting magic was lacking, and we had formed many inside jokes around it by now. If anything, I should stop picking jokes before the solar witch blinded me. He was fierce when he wanted to be.

“She does run with wolves, Jinnie,” Yoona mocked. “Big, bad, scary wolves.”

“Enough teasing,” I chuckled. “Especially if you can’t perform a simple levitation spell.”

Yoongi snickered at his mother’s scandalized expression. Yoona was a formidable witch, one of the best potionists I had ever met, but outside of that she was laughably horrible. Aldara had told me a story about her before. They had been fourteen and my aunt had been trying to show the kitchen witch an invisibility spell she had made. Yoona had accidentally teleported herself into Moland, and Thelma had to fish her out of the bogs and take her home. Hwasa, her mother, had been so angry with her she did nothing but polish and clean for a week.

“That was a low blow,” Yoona stood up and waved her hands dramatically. “And it was an invisibility spell! What practical use does that have?”

“Ma,” Yoongi drawled. “It’s okay if your magic is a little lacking. We can’t all be great at everything like me.”

“You better stop picking on your mother, young man!” Yoona shouted, unable to keep the laughter out of her tone. “You better pray at your altar ten times tonight and beg Lilith for forgiveness!”

“And if I don’t?”

Yoona had to stop herself from smiling. Biting her lip and flaring her nostrils, Yoona held her head up high.

“Then Krampus is going to gobble you up come Yule!”

Unable to stop herself, Yoona burst. Our loud laughs bounced off the walls of the cottage and I wiped the tears from my face. I had not realized just how much I had missed this. It made me hope for a bright future all the more and the ache in my chest to grow ever larger. My love for these people was overflowing and I hid my tears behind laughter. No one needed to know just how torn up I was. No one needed to know the only reason I had gone through with this party was so I could have one last good memory of us together. No one needed to know just how much I wanted to reach out and hold them for dear life. No one needed to know a thing.

“Oh no!” Yoongi jumped out of his seat, holding his face, with a mock look of horror. “Not Krampus! What ever will I do?”

“What if-” Wendy joined in on the little charade and gasped. “What if it’s not Krampus? What if it’s-” She stopped herself suddenly, faking emotion.

“The Yule cat,” Seokjin whispered, menacingly.

I let out a loud, over the top shriek. Ripping myself from Jimin’s arms, I ran to Yoongi and grasped his shoulders. Shaking him roughly, I tried my hardest to keep a straight face.

“I swear to you, I will make you a brand new outfit before then. Don't worry about anything, Yoonie.”

“And I’ll do all my chores,” He replied, clutching my biceps.

After a beat, we cracked up again. It was a common pastime to make fun of the Yule Cat in our circle. Yoona’s family was originally from a place called Kaltain. Instead of Yule Goats they had the Yule Cat. It is a huge, vicious cat that ate children who did not get new clothes for Yule. Apparently, children who did all of their chores got them while lazy children did not. It was always something we found silly but refrained from mentioning around Hwasa. She would have our heads if we ever made fun of the legend.

“What are you talking about,” Taehyung interrupted, popping his head in from outside.

“I’ll tell you later,” I promised.

Letting go of Yoongi, I went back to my spot next to Jimin. The conversation continued to babble on but I just wanted to be close to him again. He reached out for me and sat me down beside him. Holding onto my hand, Jimin tilted his head at me.

He looked skinnier than he had when he first arrived. The stress must be getting to him more than he let on. Still, he looked right out of a dream. His cheeks were dusted in pink and his eyes twinkled. I raised an eyebrow.

“When will I have you all to myself?” He asked, feigning innocence.

My heart rate sped up.

“Not today, I’m afraid.”

He smirked, “But tomorrow?”

I looked down and felt my ears growing hot. “That depends.”

“On what?”

“On you,” I whispered.

Sex had been something relatively off the table for Jimin. He had said he thought I was not ready for that just yet, and I was not confident enough to fight him about it. He seemed even more wary of it after our conversation in my room a few weeks ago. Still, he often alluded to it and enjoyed seeing how flustered I could get. An eye for an eye he called it.

Jimin softened. “Soon.”

It sounded like a promise. I wondered what he saw in me that I could not notice. I knew how observant Taehyung was but Jimin’s emotions were harder to gauge. I wanted nothing more than to reach out and kiss him, to tell him I was fine, and take claim on him. Part of me wondered if my virginity had something to do with his hesitance, or if it was all about my mood swings. Knowing Jimin it was more than likely both.

I hummed but said nothing else. I was appreciative of how careful he was trying to be. I knew it was not easy and his wolf was probably having a hard time keeping at bay. Then again, I could not be so sure. I knew the pull that wolves had for one another but would that still transfer over to us? Glancing at Jimin, I hoped that we were just as strong as a pair of wolves.

A knock on the door pulled me out of my thoughts. Confused, I stood and made my way to the door. The conversation behind me ceased. Checking through the window, I was pleasantly surprised to see a familiar, unexpected face. I rushed to open the door and beamed at Thelma.

When I was young I had disliked the witch. She had come around the least and always ratted us out when we got into trouble in Moland. After Aldara’s death, though, she had become something more to me. Her and Hyun-Jin were important people in my life and helped me figure out how to rebuild. She was very reclusive and had not told me that she was coming over. Whatever it was, it had to be important.

“Thelma!” Yoona’s voice gave away her excitement. “Long time no see, stranger.”

The swamp witch smiled and let herself in. She had always been extremely petite, small in stature, with skin the color of taupe that was offset by a scattering of thick, large umber freckles that dusted her face. Her hair was dense and coarse like cashmere. When I was young, it had been a rich, ebony, but with her age it had gray streaks beginning to take root. She looked every bit as lovely as she had last I had seen her.

“Nice to see everyone,” Her voice had always been husky and soft. It was a comfort to me and I was over the moon she had come. I was confused by her son’s absence but did not read too much into it. Hyun-jin was even more reclusive than his mother. “I was hoping to speak with Birdie alone for a bit. I have something for her that I think would be best to share privately.”

Yoona flipped her inky black hair over her shoulder and nodded. She and Yoongi were identical. Yoongi had never met his father so I had no point of reference for what the man looked like, but he was missing from all of Yoongi’s features. Jin’s family left without a hitch, Jin pouted like a kicked puppy for being left out, and the Min’s followed suit. Jimin seemed hesitant to leave but Taehyung called for him before I had to ask him to go myself. The alpha looked displeased but left without a fight. Wendy was the last to go and gave Thelma a hug on her way out.

Walking to the kitchen, I grabbed my kettle out of habit. Tea was an important part of any conversation, but Thelma stopped me before I filled it with water. Nodding, I could not stop myself from grabbing another bottle of smreka. Thelma sighed and shook her head but did not comment any further. My manners were getting the best of me. Grabbing two glasses, I poured us each a cup before sitting at the dining table. Thelma sat across from me and took a sip and two cookies from the tray beside her.

“Thank you,” She mumbled.

“Of course. You’re welcome anytime.”

She smiled at me sadly. Scooting the glass over, Thelma placed her hands out in front of her and linked her hands. A pit began to form in my stomach as I waited for her to say something. The expression on her face told me that whatever it was I would not be happy to hear about it.

“There’s something happening in the forest,” Thelma said, her voice very low. I leaned closer to her and listened carefully. “Moland is dark. Darker than usual. People are going missing. Hyun-Jin had a vision this morning that put him to bed for hours. He still won’t speak to me. He’s like Aldara in that way. I’m worried, Y/N.”

All of my fears were beginning to come true. Whatever was happening around us had nothing to do with the wolf pack. They were mere child’s play to the sinister forces working around us. The image of the injured wolf came back to me and I felt my breath picking up. If a wolf had not hurt Taehyung then what had?

“I haven’t seen something like this since the quietus still roamed the forest freely,” Thelma whispered. My blood ran cold. “I spoke with Ranvir, Hyung-Jin’s rat, and he said his friends have been saying the same thing. Our home is filled with pets and familiars who have been abandoned. Their owners went out and never came back.”

I closed my eyes and felt tears stinging them. My anger and frustration were palpable. All of this was happening, people were getting hurt and going missing, and yet here I was safe and sound from the outside world. I wanted so desperately to get out there and help. Yanking my leg, the silver chain dug into my skin and made me wince. I had never hated my confinement more than I did at this moment.

“You are not safe in this house. You need protection spells and you need to make sure everyone else gets them. I brought some that Aldara gave me right before she got locked away. She wanted to make sure we had them in case things changed.”

Thelma pulled out a small, leatherbound notebook. It could be no more than twenty pages long and had the same height as my palm. In the swamp witch’s small hands it looked huge. Taking it from her, I began to skim through the pages.

“Have you told them?” Thelma asked, her voice knowing.

I shook my head. “No. I don’t need them worrying about this right now. I need to figure out what the forest has been trying to tell me.”

“What has it said?” She asked.

I closed the book with a sigh and fell back into my chair. Where do I even begin? Breaking down the vision and what the spirit had said to me, my lip wobbled and I fought back my tears. I wished I was strong and brave like Aldara, but I was just me. I thought of the wolf and I cried harder. I felt pathetic.

“We’ll keep things between us. I will tell my son. I suggest you tell Sasithorn and Yoongi. Maybe even the man you’re in love with.”

I blanched. “Wh-”

“I saw you from the window before I knocked.”

I hung my head in shame and apologized. I was supposed to put my duty before everything, and yet here I was snuggling up to Jimin like my life was not falling apart. Thelma placed a hand over mine.

“Aldara had someone many years ago that you never knew about. You’re not wrong for wanting more than this life, Y/N.”

Thrown, I simply shook my head. This was all beginning to be too much. First a possible quietus invasion on the horizon, and now I get to hear about a secret lover I never knew about? Overwhelmed, I buried my head in my hands and continued to shake my head. Rocking back and forth in my seat, I counted my breaths and tried to calm myself down.

“Look at me,” Thelma said gently.

Peeking at her through my fingers, I tried catching my breath. I tried to focus on the way the orange of her top looked so lovely against her skin. Failing to concentrate on that, I went back to counting in my head.

“Hey,” Grabbing a hold of my hand, Thelma squeezed my hand and brought me back to her. “We need to stay strong right now. You’ll have time to cry later, but right now we need to get ready for the worst and hope for the best.”

Nodding, I sniffled and wiped my face. My hands shook and my body rocked but I forced myself to breathe. In and out. In and out. One, two, three, four, five; exhale. Thelma held my hand while I calmed myself.

“I’m not telling Jimin anything,” I finally managed to choke out.

Thelma nodded, “It may be for the best. He could get himself hurt trying to fight one of those things.”

I had to remind myself to exhale at the thought of that. Jimin would surely die if he went up against one of the quietus but his pride would not let him see that. I thought of Taehyung and grew even more frantic. That boy would die trying to prove himself.

“The younger one,” Thelma quickly added. “Is he their alpha?”

I nodded. “They’ve rejected him. His mate is being kept from him back at the village. They don’t trust him at all. One of the other alphas, Namjoon, challenged him to a fight but Taehyung doesn’t want to participate. He’s been training with Jimin just in case it comes down to that.”

The witch hummed in response. She was thinking. Thelma always tried to choose her words carefully, but I knew she was going to say something that upset me. There was no way to put things lightly in a situation like this.

“They’ll need him more than ever,” She started wearily. “I can only hope whatever’s coming strikes before they do. If they lost any numbers…”

She trailed off. I did not need to hear the rest to understand what she meant. If any of them fell, even someone as inexperienced as Taehyung, the pack would be hit very harshly during the fallout. Sol would be lost without her mate, and I doubt she would fight on either side. Taehyung’s family would never forgive, and I would be damned if I helped those people. Still, even with my own personal feelings I had a duty to protect this forest. Foxglove could burn but Bangtan was my home. Jimin was my mate and I would protect him as well, and I knew no matter what happened, on some level, he would be there for his people. I would have to push aside whatever anger I felt and help them. For Jimin’s sake if nothing else.

“I’ll talk with Yoongi and Shiloh,” I started, voice low. “I’ll try to trick Seokjin into training with us. Say I couldn’t figure out how the spells worked and needed him to guide me through them- something. Jin is smart but takes things at face value for the most part. Wendy and her coven are a different fish to fry, though, I’m afraid.”

“I can handle that,” Thelma assured me. “Cordelia knows how to defend herself against these things just as well as the rest of us. Yoona and the Kims may not seem like it but they’re ruthless when the going gets tough. How do you think they managed to live in Bangtan all those years they were here?”

I sighed deeply, “So it’s decided then?”

“It has to be,” She resigned. “I’m sorry.”

Taking my hand away from Thelma, I rubbed my face roughly and began the hard task of composing myself. After several minutes, I felt ready enough to stand and check my appearance in the mirror in my room. I could hear Thelma calling out to the others. She had probably used some charm on her voice to make it travel further. It did not really matter to me. Taking a deep breath, I went back into the main room and collected the spell book from the table. They were quicker than I had anticipated.

“You’re awfully quick,” Thelma grunted.

“Thank Taejin for that,” Hoji threw over her shoulder, already halfway in the house.

“Should’ve guessed,” The swamp witch rolled her eyes with a smirk.

It was strange to see them all interacting as friends. I had known they were all close friends, but I had never been able to see them outside of Aldara’s position. All of them had gone off with their own lives, had children, and were growing together. Witches had long lifespans, Thelma was the oldest, but Cordelia was only a few months behind her. I tried to imagine all of them playing together before Aldara had become a Birdie but found it difficult. None of them looked the well-over 100 they were, but their age showed in other ways. Yoona was still the youngest at heart but I was no fool. Her eyes told stories and the faint streaks of silver beginning to collect in her hairline were telling. Aldara had once told me she was the only person who ever scared her.

“What was all the melodramatics about?” Yoona drawled, arms folded and leaning against the doorway.

“I found some old spells of Aldara’s,” Thelma explained, her acting convincing. “I thought Birdie would like to have them.”

Yoona’s expression softened immediately and turned to me. I was not sure how good my poker face was but she dropped the question immediately. Hoji wrapped her arms around me and gave a quick kiss to my cheek before stealing another cookie.

“You know,” Heji joked, her booming voice misplaced in my little cottage. “I’m getting tired of calling you that. Haven’t we known one another long enough? Aldara wasn’t this bad!”

Cracking a smile, I laughed quietly. It was easy for them to say that. My aunt had always had foresight. Always knew things she should not have, was often too right for it to merely be a guess and smiled knowingly at just about everything. So, when she told me as a young girl to keep my name guarded, I never went back on it. I only told people I felt comfortable telling. Despite knowing that no one in my circle would harm me I had grown paranoid. Now I felt like it was too late to bridge the gap. Besides, what difference would it really make if they knew or not?

“I’ll tell you one day,” I settled on.

A round of groans went around the room and I laughed harder. Clutching the spell book to my chest, I tried my best to keep a clear mind. The wolves had not come back yet and Taejin had said they had gone for a stroll. Taehyung was tired of being human all the time. I rolled my eyes. Yes, that was definitely something Taehyung would say. Walking into my room, I put the spellbook into my dresser’s underwear drawer.

“What’s that?”

Jumping, I clutched my chest and blanched. Shiloh’s head was poked out of her nest. Looking around, I placed my finger over my mouth and made my way to the door. Before I could close it, I made eye contact with Yoongi and made the rash decision to gesture him over. I did not want to have this conversation twice. I didn't even want to have it once. The witch nodded and started the grueling process of sneaking away.

Tip toeing, I sat on my bed and waited. Shiloh got out of her nest and perched on the windowsill across from me. Yoongi was in the room a few minutes later and shut the door behind him. The witches were still talking loudly with one another in the next room. Someone had brought up Heji’s horrible cooking and she was not happy about it.

“What’s going on?” Yoongi demanded, sitting next to me. “I could tell something’s been bothering you all day.”

I could always count on Yoongi to cut straight to the point. It was one of his many great qualities. Right now, it does nothing but give me more anxiety. I was not sure how to talk about this or where to even begin. I knew I had to speak soon. Shiloh looked annoyed with me already and I knew she was still upset about how secretive I had been lately. Rubbing my thighs, I steeled myself and began to tell them everything from my fainting spell a few weeks ago to the conversation I just had with Thelma. I was proud of myself for not crying.

“Where’s the book?” Yoongi asked, his voice hard.

“Top drawer to the left.”

A large silence took over the room. Every fear, every nightmare, I had ever had was coming back to haunt me. I recalled a time when I was maybe 7 or 8, Auntie had told me my first story of a quietus. They were horrifying, shadow creatures that hid behind a human facade. They wanted to eat the souls of those they felt wronged them. I had trouble falling asleep that night and when I finally had, I had been so afraid when I woke up that Aldara had to sit with me for the rest of the night. It was always a comfort that we shared a bed but I had never appreciated it as much as I had that night.

“Remember this, Y/N,” She had said, cradling me close to her side. “They were people who hurt people because of their own hurting. It doesn’t make it right but they aren’t monsters. Never forget that.”

Blinking back my tears, I reached for Yoongi’s hand. It was a difficult thing to remember. I was glad that I was not having to be brave alone anymore. Yoongi squeezed my fingers and gave me a small smile.

“We’re going to be okay,” He whispered.

And I threw my arms around his neck. Oh, I hope so, I said to myself. I prey to Lilith that everything will be alright.

Staring at the paper on my desk, I struggled to find the words to say. There was so much that I needed to convey and yet nothing came to me. My diary had always been a safe haven and now it was just a reminder of my own inadequacies up until now. If I was smarter, stronger, then maybe I would not be so reliant on the people around me. Maybe I could find the courage to look Jimin in the eye and tell him what had been plaguing my thoughts. Instead, I sat in the cellar and tried to wax poetically about my own pain. What a fucking joke.

Giving up, I put my pen down and walked over to the shelves along the back wall. My curiosity about Aldara’s lover had grown in the last few days and I had tried to keep my eyes away from her inner thoughts. It felt too personal and raw to look at but I had stopped caring about that. Afterall, maybe I could find something helpful in her diaries. Auntie was always boastful about her adventures.

I heard the cellar door opening but I paid it no mind. I was not in the mood to talk or thinking about what I should or should not say. Listening to their steps, it sounded like Jimin. He would be harder to ignore if he approached me but he was more aware of my feelings than Taehyung and would likely leave me be. He just enjoyed being in my presence. We say nothing as I walk right past him and back to my desk.

Putting away my own journal, I opened up the one titled simple “One” and began to read. I had at least attempted to create original names and chapter titles for all my journals. I could only imagine Griselda telling the young adventurer to keep it classy. That made me smile.

My 10th Summer

I shook my head in disbelief. Even at such a young age she spoke in riddles. All she had to say was the date. Holding in my laughter, I continued reading the passage.

Griselda has finally allowed me my own journal. While this may seem mundane- it is simply monumentous. Finally, I can speak casually and drop all of this “manners” nonsense she continues to ramble on about. I just want to run through the wildflowers in the front but she’s more concerned about my apron getting dirty. Stupid elders and their stupid woes.

I laughed out loud then. Nice job sticking it to her, kid. I knew Aldara would never say anything like this to her mentor’s face. Griselda would have rung her up by her neck.

She always speaks of monsters. As if I’m afraid of some shadows! Well, she can sit inside and hide. Me? I’m going to go and beat one up so I can show her I can go wherever I want. That’ll show her. Or not. I love Griselda but she’s a bit dim witted. -Ari

Ari? She had been called Ari? The affectionate name made my heart swell. God, she was a piece of work. I almost felt bad for Birdie Griselda but I knew she was more than capable of handling the young witch. Ari would start changing her tune all too soon. Grinning, I flipped a few pages.

My 13th Spring, I met a girl today. Griselda was angry with me for talking to her and said that I had no idea what could happen to me if I spoke to strangers. I think she’s still feeling antsy after a girl from Syrena went missing. I had only visited the coven to help. Cordelia was nice to me and older. All we did was speak normally and I told her I would help her look. Griselda did not seem amused by my back talking today. It was strange to talk to someone else. I knew that our families were aware of one another, and the girl had said that Birdie Heidi had been really close with her grandmother, but Auntie was not as welcoming. I told her she was just shy but really I know she’s afraid. So am I. The forest looks dark right now and I know it’s more than the fog blanketing everything. I still haven’t told her about my trip to Moland. She would freak out if she knew I had left the forest. She just did not understand me at all. She never tried either. We had respect for one another but she was timid, meek, and frightened of everything she did not understand. I wanted adventure. I wanted to live life to the fullest before I became locked up forever. I don’t know how she can stand it. Maybe one day I could introduce her to Thelma. Maybe then she would understand why I keep going back. Once she sees what we can do to defend ourselves. Once she sees what I can do. Until then, I will keep playing dress up and learning the same water healing spells I’ve been practicing since last year. One day. -Ari

It was nice to see how different she had become over the years. The woman that I had met had taken many years to come into her own. From fighting Quietus in secret with her friends to arguing with Griselda over who knew best. The twelve year old rebel was still so deeply ingrained within her that it was shocking to see just how far she had gone in order to get around Griselda’s iron-tight control. I felt for both of them but was happy that my aunt had done what she had. I doubted I would be who I was without her.

My 15th Winter, I saw my first hybrid today. She wasn’t from Foxglove. I have done so many rounds there, fought off Qs from their doorsteps, and tracked down pups too many times to have confused her. Her ears gave her away. They were large, jet black, and fluffy with off-white tufts sticking out of the middle of them. Her eyes were strange, too. She even had a tail. I did not approach her. Just looked. She was chasing a butterfly and picking flowers as she went. Griselda would be livid if she found out anyone like her was around. I did not really know what to make of her. I had thought the hybrids dead. Still, I just watched. Even though I wanted to talk to her, to ask her where she came from, and to see if she had seen Qs anywhere else… I hadn’t. She looked too happy for me to burst that bubble. I’ll look for her again tomorrow. Maybe I’ll ask her then. -Ari

Feeling drowsy, I finally shut the book. Auntie had not seen the hybrid girl again for several days and had stopped looking. She had been disappointed but knew they were probably just passing through. The forest was too dangerous for any permanent settlement.

Placing the book back on the shelf, I pulled down the next one and placed it on my desk for later. Picking up my own journal, I looked around for Jimin. He was hiding in between some shelves in the middle of the room. He smiled when he noticed me.

“Ready for bed?”

I looked down, “I hope I’ll sleep tonight. I hate sleeping in my bird form.”

He nodded in understanding. “I can’t imagine it being very comfortable.”

“It isn’t. I can’t use my blanket.”

The quilt was too heavy and uncomfortable when I was a bird. Jimin walked over to me and wrapped me in his arms.

“I’ll keep you warm.”

Yawning, I nodded in his chest. That would be nice. The two of us went up the stairs together and I turned out of lights with a flick of my wrist.

Taehyung was reading by the fireplace. He smiled at us as we walked by. I gave him a light bow and walked into my room. I heard the wolves giving one another quick goodnights and Jimin was back by my side before I made it into my room.

“Is Shiloh in?” He asked.

I shook my head. “No. She’s out with Morla and the rest of them.”

I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from explaining why. The barn owl had gone to them to warn everyone about the things happening in Moland. They needed to get out of the area as soon as possible. She was also going to fly by Thelma’s to speak with Rory. Ranvir, or Rory, was Hyun-Jin familiar. He would have a lot of information that would be helpful for us. Shiloh and I would talk about it in the morning so I could write Yoongi. We were going to be putting our Jin plan into action soon.

“I hadn’t known people in the forest were so nosey.”

I chuckled, “You’ve been scaring away the forest since you were young, alpha.”

Taking a nightgown out of my drawer, I placed it on the bed while I took off my jewelry. I had worn Aldara’s skull ring every day since my fainting spell. My own ring had not left my finger at all. It was a comfort for me to fiddle and play with it. Remembering the hours upon hours my aunt had spent making it for me with love and care meant more than one would think. Flicking my wrist, I took my clothes off and put the nightgown on. I was only waiting for the sun to fully set. I would have no need for clothes after that.

Jimin’s arms wrapped around my midsection, and I hummed in content. Leaning into his chest, I let his warmth envelop me. I was happy to stay like this all day but knew it was coming. Stepping out of his arms, I motioned for him to turn around as I walked further into my little room.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered as the sky turned purple.

As I screamed, I knew I was not only apologizing for him seeing me like this.

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