All jokes aside, it's very telling how Roy was meme'd as "uwu racist" in FEH because of his skills, when Roy is arguing for coexistence between humans and dragons to Zeph, who wants to get rid of humans.
Roy wants to tell Zeph to still have faith in humanity - and not write it off - so humanity can still live and thrive and prosper alongside dragons!
Usually the other antagonists want to erase or look down on the non human race to prop up humanity - but in FE6, Zeph's reasoning is reversed!
And Roy's solution is the same as every other lord faced with this issue - Fodlan excluded because Fodlan treats this issue as horse piss, only relevant, fittingly, in Tru Piss - it's not X over Y or Y over X, it's X and Y living together.
It's kind of frightening how the newest FE games (bar Engage, so maybe it's just a Kusakihara thing?) completely elude the "live together solution" and end up pushing the "Humanity fuck yeah" answer...
Too young to die, too old to dream. Women at the age of 40. But not even then did we realise that our lives were still like a roller coaster ride. A year from now, one of us would be divorced, one of us would be a mum and one of us would be dead.
Hehe more Chikao and Peng shenanigans - buuuut this time I might end up doing a Part 2 lol. Whoops.
This also ended up longer on its own than I meant for it to be lol. Whoopsies.
I love them. They're so annoying <3
Anyway not much to say soo enjoy
How Peng had landed up the designated babysitter for Chikao's “solo” missions, they had no idea.
Well. Technically, they were her “mission partner” or whatever.
But as Peng watched Chikao struggle to climb a wall and completely forget she had powers, Peng felt like babysitter was appropriate.
“Peeeeeeeeng!” Chikao complained as she glared up at the smooth white walls that blocked her path to the curved roof.
Peng sighed and rubbed the bridge of their beak as they stamped down irritation. ”What is it now?“ They sighed.
Chikao grinned with her teeth at them. ”How do you get over this?“
Peng rolled their eyes and walked up to the wall with an exasperated sigh. ”Short.“ They commented. They pretended not to notice the glare Chikao shot their way. With a golden flash, they unfurled their metal wings, scratched and scraped up by the several recent fights. They jumped and flapped their wings to land on the roof and dug their talons into the golden rooftop, then turned and looked down at Chikao, who watched them with narrowed eyes.
”Okay, but how do I get up there? I don't have mystical metal wing - oh.“ Chikao's mini glare dropped into realization.
”You forgot about your powers again?“ Peng raised an eyebrow. They didn't have time for this. They were already spending way too long here.
”Yeah.“ Chikao chuckled. Peng's feathers ruffled with the wind as Chikao gathered wind and blew herself onto the top of the roof, then grinned at Peng. Peng rolled their eyes again and turned to look out across the realm. The golden rooftops shone in the eternal sunlight of the Celestial Realm, pristine and untouched except for where Peng and Chikao stood. The marble pathways were smooth and pristine, bordered with gold engraved with delicately crafted carvings. ”What are we here for again?“
Peng looked at her. ”You must be joking.“ They said. Chikao grinned at them in a way that really didn't say either way. Peng rolled their eyes again and shook their head as they pressed their face into their hand. ”We're never going to survive this.“ They muttered.
“What?” Chikao asked. When Peng looked up, she was hanging off of the rooftop edge and holding onto it with her *feet*, her shoes abandoned at the flat surface on top.
”What are you doing?“ Peng hissed as they quickly grabbed the back of Chikao's ”armor“ (honestly, Peng wasn't sure if it even counted as armor) and hauled her back onto the roof.
”What? I was getting a closer look.” Chikao grinned at Peng.
Peng sighed and scanned the Celestial Realm. ”We're here for Nezha's spear.“
”Oh! I know where it is!“ Chikao grinned.
Peng's wings slowly lowered and they let out a deep sigh. ”And...why, do you know that, Chikao?“ Peng slowly turned their gaze from the shining Celestial Realm to the monkey behind them.
Chikao blinked at them for a moment, then grinned. ”This way!“ She declared as she leaped off of the roof to the curved surface of another one, somehow without sliding off. Peng grumbled and resisted the urge to shout after her. They didn't need to draw any attention. They reluctantly grabbed the shoes Chikao had left on the roof and flapped their wings a couple times, then took off after her, careful to fly low to the rooftops and avoid catching the attention of any guards.
Eventually, Chikao stopped on the edge of a rooftop. Peng hovered over her and dropped her shoes on her head, then landed beside her and withdrew their wings with a flash.
”Hey.“ Chikao grumbled as she shoved her shoes back on. She pointed to a home marked with three lotuses on the top. ”Nezha's!“ She grinned.
Peng sighed. ”Alright.“ They crouched at the edge of the rooftop and narrowed their eyes. They scanned the white-and-gold building for any sign of windows or easy entry. The Celestial Realm must've been allergic to windows or something, though, because not a single building seemed to have windows on them, and Nezha's home was no exception.
Before Peng could open their mouth to start outlining, oh, you know, a *plan*, strawberry fur flashed out of the corner of their eye as Chikao jumped down from the roof and into the broad sunlight of the pathway.
”Chikao!“ Peng hissed quietly. Whether Chikao ignored them or couldn't hear them they didn't know, but she continued walking. She walked right up the stairs, to the front door, and knocked.
She. KNOCKED?
After a long moment (and a couple more enthusiastically rhythmic knocks), the door opened. Peng couldn't hear anything, but Nezha's expression quickly went from cautious confusion to complete shock, which then shifted into irritation and frustration as he gritted his teeth. Whatever Nezha was saying, it was obvious he was frustrated with Chikao.
And for once in Peng's life, they could relate.
After a moment of conversation Peng couldn't hear, Chikao suddenly raced off with Nezha right behind her. The door was left wide open.
Peng sighed and shook their head as they quietly glided off the roof and up to Nezha's doorway. If nothing else, the little monkey made for a good distraction.
Peng peered inside to find Nezha's home was nothing like the extravagant towering homes with images created with glistening jewels ingrained in the walls that they'd imagined.
Nezha's home made Peng wonder if Nezha did anything besides work.
Maps and to-do lists were strewn on the walls with every inch of desk and tablespace covered in papers. Some papers were blank or only had a couple ink splotches on them, while others had long paragraphs of words written in fancy letters. A half-finished ham-and-cheese sandwich lied on the coffee table, and a weapon stand sat against one of the empty walls. To Nezha's credit, for the mess that was his home, the papers were all organized into their own stacks and generally neat. Peng shuddered slightly. So much paperwork. Invitations to meetings, sign-offs, they couldn't imagine living such a restricted and orderly life, let alone defending that. They shook their head and stepped inside, and carefully and quietly closed the door behind them. The flooring and walls were cool and smooth, painted creamy pink and only decorated with a single lotus carpet just within the doorway, and a couple of photos on the wall. One was of Nezha and Iron Fan presumably in training, where Nezha had the biggest and most genuine smile Peng had ever seen from the prince. The second was a portrait of Nezha, tired and frowning. Closer to the Nezha Peng had fought.
Peng sighed and shook their head. ”This place is going to give me sensory deprivation.“ They muttered as they stepped past the living room and checked the rooms of the hallway. They located his bedroom at the end of the hall and stepped inside to see their target on the other side of the bed, which was cloaked in a large lotus blanket that draped off of the sides.
Peng rolled their eyes as they slipped past and grabbed the cool metal of the golden-headed spear. ”Does he have anything that's not a lotus?“ They muttered as they swiftly and carefully made their way out of Nezha's home.
When Peng turned away from the door and looked to the sky, they could only hope the streaks of pink and gold flashing across the sky like lightning was because the Celestial Realm had colorful storms.
Peng sighed as they gritted their teeth in annoyance. ”Alright, little monkey, what did you do?“
having listened to the full ASC playlist and watched two episodes, I can conclude with 99% certainty that Allen Stone was one of the only good things about it and I shouldn't have bothered.
I think 90% of my gripes with how modern anime looks comes down to flat color design/palettes.
Non-cohesive, washed-out color palettes can destroy lineart quality. I see this all the time when comparing an anime's lineart/layout to its colored/post-processed final product and it's heartbreaking. Compare this pre-color vs. final frame from Dungeon Meshi's OP.
So much sharpness and detail and weight gets washed out and flattened by 'meh' color design. I LOVE the flow and thickness and shadows in the fabrics on the left. The white against pastel really brings it out. Check out all the detail in their hair, the highlights in Rin's, the different hues to denote hair color, the blue tint in the clothes' shadows, and how all of that just gets... lost. It works, but it's not particularly good and does a disservice to the line-artist.
I'm using Dungeon Meshi as an example not because it's bad, I'm just especially disappointed because this is Studio Trigger we're talking about. The character animation is fantastic, but the color design is usually much more exciting. We're not seeing Trigger at their full potential, so I'm focusing on them.
Here's a very quick and messy color correct. Not meant to be taken seriously, just to provide comparison to see why colors can feel "washed out." Top is edit, bottom is original.
You can really see how desaturated and "white fluorescent lighting" the original color palettes are.
[Remember: the easiest way to make your colors more lively is to choose a warm or cool tint. From there, you can play around with bringing out complementary colors for a cohesive palette (I warmed Marcille's skintone and hair but made sure to bring out her deep blue clothes). Avoid using too many blend mode layers; hand-picking colors will really help you build your innate color sense and find a color style. Try using saturated colors in unexpected places! If you're coloring a night scene, try using deep blues or greens or magentas. You see these deep colors used all the time in older anime because they couldn't rely on a lightness scale to make colors darker, they had to use darker paints with specific hues. Don't overthink it, simpler is better!]
i have manifested getting into my dream college, straight As every semester, visiting NYC, and a HUGE glow up (nourished hair, clearer skin, beautiful body, pretty face, emotional intelligence, baddie mindset, and supportive friends + family) in 2022. here's all the things i did that worked for me! i understand everything does not work the same for everyone, for example i find visualization fun and easy to do while affirming, even though natural to me, seems like work to me so i use it as an aid to fuel my visualization. i have had bad mental health days but i persisted in my desires regardless because i know i always get everything i want.
1. understanding yourself and your thought processes:
this is not necessary for you to manifest what you want but it helps in creating self-awareness in the long term. i used to overthink a lot (manifested it away) so i affirmed and visualized during any free time i had, and eventually my doubts faded away. even if they pop up sometimes, i'm just like meh that's not true and brush them aside. for me, processing all my complicated emotions is essential to me because i get to know my patterns and start working on changing them. it does not matter what triggered them, you've to live with them for the rest of your life if you don't feel them and let them go.
2. discovering new things:
you should get out of your comfort zone. there are thousands of things in the world you haven't experienced. desires can change and you aren't obligated to stick to this one dream when something else lights up the fire inside you in the present. i had the dream of living in NYC for a long term but I became more open to DC, LA, Philadelphia, and other cities after visiting them. i have explored new hobbies too and they've become an important part of me now. being adaptable is important!
3. never settle:
a dream might be small for someone while the same dream might be unattainable for someone else. it's all about persisting in your desires and making them seem attainable to your subconscious. you don't have to lift a finger to manifest, so why aren't you being stubborn about what you want? why are you settling for less when you deserve to have so much more? don't settle for bread crumbs when you can have a WHOLE DAMN LUXURIOUS MEAL.
4. self-concept:
the qualities i find most attractive in a person are communication, efforts, dedication, honesty, and loyalty. so i start affirming for those qualities in myself! i embody them by telling myself, "i am dedicated, honest, and loyal", "i am irreplaceable and unforgettable just because i exist", "i communicate and put in efforts for the people who have the greatest in mind for me." we love people who are secure in themselves and so, we naturally gravitate towards them. i don't care if someone has a pretty body or a pretty face. if they have the drive to succeed in what they're doing and they're giving me princess treatment, i'd immediately fold. it's the inner qualities that stay in the longer term (though you can forever be ageless and youthful, but to complement that you need a beautiful mind and heart - those make you more attractive).
I usually don’t make text posts on tumblr because I use this site as an archive for the artwork I post online and I think keeping boundaries online is good. But it’s way too long for Twitter and I’m thanking people who use tumblr in it. But I’ve been self reflecting. Well actually, I’ve been reading the work of Nagata Kabi so it inspired me to write this. This is NOT a negative post btw.
TLDR: if I don’t believe in myself, I gotta believe in the people who believe in me
So. I’m my biggest critic, constantly annoyed at how slow my skills progress, unable to see the good or a single quality in it, basically just posting it the same way you’d hand over a test you clearly failed but at least you tried. Well, today I was scrolling my own blog and scrutinizing my own work. But in between all the work there were all those asks from people who made the step forward to come and express what they think about it. Usually when this happens I brush it off as “oh well, they’re just trying to be nice. I will thank them because I appreciate their kindness in trying to make me feel better”. But if it was the case, they’d probably just leave a like or, they don’t know me so they’d probably just ignore it. I kept reading everyone’s asks inbetween criticizing myself and it made me realize, while criticizing myself is GOOD (it means I see my past mistakes and I’m one step closer to improving), I focus too much on the negative. Some asks were pointing things I never notice about my own work. I think it’s like our own appearance. Many of us will think it’s nothing special but other people will like it. Actually this might be a bad analogy.
I wanted to thank each person (who was off anon so I could directly message them) individually but I’m actually a very shy person and I felt embarrassed like “hey, uhh, yeah that asks you probably don’t remember you sent? I read it 2 months later again and I’d like to thank you again”. I assume replying to old stuff is universally seen as weird by other people. The people might be weirded out. But in case any of you read it (anon or not, know that I am really thankful for everything and it’s thanks to you that I’m having this surge of happiness right now).
This triggered a lot of memories. Back in October, when I was drawing a lot of armored core stuff, I got an email in Japanese. At first I thought it was some google translated bot but, it was actually proper Japanese (if easy to make the difference, even if your level is low). The person was complimenting my armored core stuff and later they actually revealed themselves on twitter. It made my week to know that someone would write such a long email just because they saw what was to me a picture online I just felt “meh” about, saying that they wanted to learn to draw now. (The email was very long, I can’t just dismiss someone writing all that)
Also since I was laid off from my studio job last year, I still received freelance work doing concepts and IU for smaller games (and was even requested to do more work for the previously mentioned studio) and was able to live comfortably thanks to that. But to me it was nothing, like I refused to acknowledge my own achievements. I mean everyone has a job. Why would I congratulate myself? Because you’re doing the job you’ve always dreamed of. Yeah, it’s not a in-house permanent contract, sure I’m not working on AAA, but freelance work is still work and small indie games are often the ones doing unique and interesting things. Plus it’s not the 90’s anymore where you could have a part time job on something that would become a cult classic. The joy I felt the first time I’ve seen my name in the credits roll of a game felt like a victory after a long battle. So yeah.
I still DO need to improve drastically if I want to grow as an artist and get hired on bigger projects and have the career I dream of. (I also need to keep studying for my N2 haha). But I’m happy of what I’ve achieved so far and I’m thankful from the bottom of my heart for the people who voiced themselves to remind me to stop looking at a small detail instead of the bigger picture. We’re all works-In-progress so even if we’ve been shitters so far, doesn’t meant it’s over and we can’t get better. Also I’m conscious I’m lucky enough to have people voicing their feedback, while smaller artists don’t. If anyone has ever complimented your artwork, I would advise to read what they said again.
Also I’ve been contracted to do creature/monster design on a console game starting next week so I’m going to go and beat FF7 Rebirth in 4 days before I’m unable to play it for the rest of the month. 🫡
notes: is the quality of these screenshots good? no. but i made do with what i could get! anyways, pre-season ones will probably be short because i don’t know the roster quite as well and not everyone plays!
au masterlist
y/ndevils00
liked by jackhughes, dawson1417, and 201,729 others
y/ndevils00 happy happy preseason to us all!!
our fierce satan spawn played split-squad tonight, which means some of my lovely boys went on a quick trip to Montreal to play against the Habs, and the other stayed back in Jersey to play against the Flyers!
i, of course, when given the choice, chose to go to Canada with Jacky and idiots 1 and 2 🫶
AND OH HOW WELL OUR BOYS DID! our Devils at home got a whopping 6-0 shutout against the gritty worship cult! congratulations sluts!
meanwhile, in MTL, these boys won 4-2!!
to start us off, Joe Gambardella got us a goal about halfway through the first period! i tried to get a picture, but he kinda hid behind best friend number 2… i think Jack is teaching the new people and i don’t like it!
then, my favorite child, Simon Nemec got a mind blowing, highlight reel goal, in which the puck bounced off the boards behind the goal net and then bounced off the goalie’s skate and into the net! with an assist from the one and only Jackson Rowden Hughes!!
best friend number 1 got a great power play goal off another assist from my oh so lovely boyfriend!
and to top it all off, that oh so lovely boyfriend got a power play goal! earning him a 3 point night! POP OFF BABY!! YOU DID SO WELL!! I’M SO PROUD OF YOU!!
altogether, your New Jersey Devils won both games with a combined 10 points! we’re SO back, baby!!
Warnings: smut (18+ only MDNI), stalking, unprotected sex, angst and fluff and smut, a decent bit of tears, obligatory mentions of murder
Summary: You’ve warmed up to Edward despite his cold nature, but what happens when the puzzle pieces start to fall together and you can feel someone watching you in the darkness?
Authors Note: I actually tried so hard on this yall, I posted this to my ao3 page first so I am sorry if the formatting is all kinds of messed up on here :( This is my first fic i’ve posted since 2017 so I sincerely apologize if it’s meh, i also don’t have anyone else proofread my fics so i apologize for any errors i missed! enjoy!
Ao3 Link
He's arrogant. Oh so arrogant, and you can't fucking stand it. You watch him every morning as he strides in, past your desk at reception, white button up shirt, clear framed glasses, shaggy hair that falls over his forehead . He's certainly not a hit among the office, so maybe you're not wrong in your feelings. Though your other co-workers generally regard him as a pushover- not a self-absorbed asshole. He's good at what he does, sure. He's earned his spot, but he often brings a shadow into the rooms he walks into. A presence that you can only describe as infernal.
You don’t know much about his story. You generally pride yourself on getting to know the people you surround yourself with, but he has never let you get close enough to find out. Maybe that’s why you find him arrogant. He thinks he’s too good to speak to you for more than two sentences related to files he needs you to fax for him. What you do know about him is that he’s been at KTMJ for longer than you have been- maybe 5 years more. You can still remember the first time you met. You were fresh faced and eager. Seeking validation, in desperate need of some stability.
You extend your arm for a handshake. His hands are slightly clammy as he accepts your handshake. And though you had greeted him with your brightest smile (might as well go all in if you ever wanted to be anything other than a receptionist) he hadn't smiled back. He'd kept a rather straight face as he gave his brief introduction. "Edward."
Now you have a sense of stability. Sure, the quality of life in Gotham is subpar and you still haven't received that promotion, but you make enough to live comfortably in comparison to others in the city. You try to count your blessings.
━━━━
You had already been having a shitty day. Your landlord had informed you of an increase in rent rates by slipping an envelope under your door. Sure, it sucked to be asked to pay more for an apartment that could be deemed shitty by any normal person with a pair of eyes, but it was the lack of communication that got you. Not even the decency to call your residence and tell you with their own voice. Just a slip of paper under the door.
But you tried to bring a good attitude to the office. You hate being the one to damper the mood. You would rather leave that to him. Always him. Never smiling back at you as he walks through the door, never meeting your eyes to acknowledge your presence, nothing. And you were used to that. It would be okay, if it weren't for the stack of papers that laid on your desk when you got in. Neatly stacked with a green sticky note reading "Need copies. -Edward" scrawled in messy handwriting. You immediately feel the flames rise into your chest.
It's a quick stride from your desk to his cubicle, stack of papers tightly tucked into your fist. You slam them onto his desk as soon as you reach it, and he raises an eyebrow at you in response. "What the hell is this?" He glances at the papers and back at you. "The copier isn't working. I wrote what I needed." You sigh, annoyed at the fact that he doesn't understand.
"You couldn't have waited for me to get here and brought them to me yourself? I would really appreciate it if you would treat me like a human being every once in a while, ya know, actually acknowledge my existence." You realize how dramatic you must sound, but in all honesty you've been thinking it for years, it was only a matter of time before it came out. "I needed copies. I didn't think my acknowledgement meant that much to you." He holds his hands out in defense, feigning that he actually cared if he had hurt your feelings.
"I think you think you're smarter than everyone else here." You plant a hand on the table in front of him as you crouch to his level.
He sighs and you can see the corners of his mouth twitch. "I do. Is that so bad?"
"It makes you an asshole."
He finally faces you.
"Better to be an asshole than to be an idiot."
His voice doesn't carry any malice, yet the words feel like a slap in the face to you. It leaves you scrambling for a response, opening your mouth only to close it a second later. Until you decide to merely respond with a nervous chuckle. Sure, you thought his response showed his ego, but you had to admit. He got you. He faces you once more at the sound of your light chuckle, green eyes meeting yours completely. "I guess you're right."
You catch the corners of his mouth turning upwards.
"If it means that much to you, I will greet you next time."
━━━━
And he does. Greet you that is. You find yourself talking to him more and more. Sitting in the break room with him at lunch, looking over his shoulder at the crossword puzzle he works on at his desk and giving your best shot at an answer, relishing in the furrow of his brows as he turns to look over his shoulder at you. He's an asshole. He's arrogant. But there's something about him that's drawing you in. Sometimes you feel like a fish caught in a net. All those moments he'd brushed you off and yet you find yourself repeating the little quirks of his soft smiles in your head. You hate the term "work husband", but it seems that Edward is slowly becoming the very definition of that.
You don't speak outside of the office, but you find yourself gravitating towards him when you're stressed. You tell him about your landlord and the reason you had gotten so defensive with him. He understood.
"It's a cesspool here. None of these people actually care about people like us, not the landlords, not our coworkers, certainly not the politicians." He had said in that moment.
As October rolls around and the leaves begin to fall, you find yourself beginning to bring two coffees to work, one for you, one for him. He always shows an appreciative nod. But the moment you start to think about asking him to actually go out with you for coffee is like being the fish pulled out of the water and accepting it's inevitable fate. You were gonna let him drive you insane.
You're sure of it as you are caught up in the nerves and find yourself softly grabbing his hand to stop him outside the front doors of the office. You quickly pull your hand from his. no doubt blushed a deep red. But he just stares, waiting for you to speak. You clear your throat. "I- um- Sorry, I was just gonna see if you had plans now." And it pains you the way he doesn't speak, just continues to stare.
"There's a diner on the corner near here. I think they have decent pie."
He loosens the tension in his shoulders and looks down. "Oh. I'm actually sort of drowning in... paperwork right now." He shifts his weight from one foot to the other, clearly uncomfortable. God, you hoped you hadn't made him uncomfortable. "I'm sorry."
You quickly shake your head and let out a breathy laugh. "Oh no! It's totally fine, I probably have paperwork to finish too." You hope it hides the pang you feel in your chest. "I'll see you tomorrow." You swiftly turn and walk away before he can respond.
━━━━
But you wouldn't see Edward tomorrow. Matter of fact you wouldn't see him for the next three days after Halloween. You try not to let it bother you.
It's the beginning of a cold November, he's probably just sick or desperately needed a vacation. Or perhaps you'd seriously fucked it all up and he couldn't even stand the sight of you. You can't stop the deep sigh that comes from you as you rest your forehead in the palm of your hand. Embarrassingly, you ask Zach if he's heard from Edward. Not that you expected him to be particularly helpful. "Are you guys, like, fucking?" You are stunned and stammering your words. "Wha- No! No. I just worry about him."
"Look, I wouldn't worry about him too much, I mean the guy's basically a fucking recluse. When do you ever see him outside of here? Maybe it's good that he's somewhere besides here."
Still, there's no chance of you actually focusing on work and you find yourself aimlessly scrolling through news headlines, before one in particular catches your eye.
'Mayoral Incumbent Donald Mitchell, Jr. Murdered in his Home on Halloween Night.'
Holy shit.
━━━━
Edward is back at work after three long days, and despite your worry of his annoyance and anger, he is oddly elated.
It's the first time he approaches your desk. Leaning against it, coffee cup in hand, and flashing an awkward smile before asking, "So did I miss anything?" It leaves you a little taken aback, but it's a relief to see him approach you willingly after your last conversation.
"Um yeah, Zach was a total prick as usual- Oh! And our mayor was murdered."
He raises an eyebrow and takes a sip from the coffee cup. You feign annoyance, "No but seriously where were you? I started to wonder if that psychopath got you too."
He smiles. "Just sick. November weather and all."
━━━━
The first time you see the green mask you are in a huddle of coworkers around a computer screen.
'Police Commissioner, Pete Savage, Murdered. Killer Leaves Shocking Confession.'
"My God. What a sick freak." Zach interjects.
You can barely stand to watch. The video is hardly graphic aside from the disturbing voice of the masked man, but the implications of what happens when the video cuts off leaves your stomach turning. You walk away. Desperate for some space, but also desperate for a distraction. Edward sits straight in his office chair across the room. You hesitate slightly before striding toward his desk and leaning your weight against it. You can feel the sweat beading at your forehead as you lightly brush hair from your eyes. "Shit."
It's merely a whisper to yourself, but he turns his head to face you. For once his face shows concern towards you. Yet he still says nothing, only looks. Observant as always.
"Sorry. I needed to get out of that." You gesture towards the group of coworkers still huddled and murmuring among each other. He glanced back, before turning back towards his work. "The news?" He inquires quietly.
"Yeah. It's a little too much for me to stomach." There's a little pause as if he is hesitant to say anything before finally replying, "They were pricks. Don't you think they kind of deserved it?"
You straighten up, looking at him with shock. "I think they were still people with families." He frowns at you before you finally walk away from his desk to make your way to the restroom. You needed to get a grip.
━━━━
Edward apologizes for his insensitivity after work. You had stayed with him outside of the building long after all of your other coworkers had left. "It's fine." You refuse to look at him as he lights a cigarette and gets in a few quick puffs. You're being mean. But if you're honest the combination of his rejection and his comment earlier in the day had set you off. "And I'm sorry for last week." Only then you look up at him.
"I've had a lot going on, and it feels a little unfair to bring you into all of that."
"This feels like an excuse to let me down easy. It's okay if you just don't want to go on a date-"
The feeling of chapped lips on your own stops you mid sentence. He tastes of coffee and cigarettes and you crave more, but he pulls back quickly. His free hand remains at your cheek, holding your face in a gentle caress. "It's not an excuse. Things are just complicated for me right now." His eyes never leave your face. It's the best look you've gotten of them. Of him. His features are gentle behind shaggy hair and acetate glasses.
Something feels wrong and eerie in the back of your mind. Like seeing him this close gave you a sickening feeling of deja vu. Things were definitely complicated. The bags under his eyes were showing his exhaustion well, he had gone from elated to unwell since his return. He seems like a broken man, but he'd never let you close enough to find out why. You can't help but feel the connection, like he deserved a shot even if he didn't want it. Even if he thought he was smarter. Even if there's a side to him that could hurt you. You push down your feelings of uneasiness.
You press a chaste kiss to the corner of his lips.
"When you're ready."
━━━━
You're awake nearly all night the next weekend. Spending the entire time digging through news about the figure known as The Riddler, his possible next targets, possible identities, and most importantly all of the video footage he'd put out in the last few weeks. It's certainly not healthy. You generally steer clear of these sorts of things. Years of therapy had gotten you far and you would rather not ruin it by desensitizing yourself. But you can't help it. You find yourself going deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole until you find yourself tuning into his streams late at night.
He speaks with such a confidence in himself. As if he has all of the answers, and is just waiting to enlighten the world. His followers are even more terrifying. They'd do anything for him. You wonder how low a person must be in life to resort to this sort of behavior. But, you're not a psychiatrist. Who are you to speak on these people. These strangers.
"We are going to cleanse this cesspool of city."
You slam the laptop shut.
Sleeping isn't easy after this sort of activity. You should've known. You turn on a show you don't actually care about to give yourself some sense of security in background noise. And soon you find yourself drifting asleep. It's not great sleep. You can sense yourself tossing and turning, but you can deal with it. Everything is fuzzy until you find yourself on your back.
Paralyzed.
It's not uncommon for you to experience sleep paralysis, but you've experienced it less after your time in therapy. You try to keep your breathing steady, trying to convince yourself that whatever you see is merely a hallucination.
Shh. Shh. Just breathe.
But the figure that appears is familiar. That's what scares you the most. The green coat and mask is horrifying as it inches towards the bed, and you can't scream. you can't move away. You can only watch the blood drip from his gloved fingertips onto your floor as he stares. Tilting his head at you slightly, as he brings a hand up to his head. You can hear your heart pounding and you are practically internally begging yourself to wake up. The latches on his mask pop open and you're horrified to find that the face underneath is so familiar. A slight smirk on lips you have kissed before. Blood dripping from a hand that you've held before. You try to scream. Tears falling down your temples until he is suddenly gone and you shoot up in your bed.
You can't hold back the cry that escapes your throat. It wasn't real, he's gone, and you're safe in your room.
━━━━
Until suddenly the safety of your room begins to feel a lot less safe. You hear it. The creaking of the floorboards at night, the slight tapping against the glass of your bedroom window. The slight squeak of leather rubbing and rustling together. You're too scared to open your eyes those first few nights. You'd rather be blind and take your fate than die in paralyzing fear.
But you know it's him.
It was never unclear what was staring at you in the night. Maybe the nightmares of the leather gloves touching your skin hadn't been nightmares at all. You want so badly to be sickened. To run into your bathroom to empty your stomach out of panic and fear. Instead you feel a strange mixture of annoyance and arousal in your gut.
He thinks he's smarter than you.
You find yourself playing into his games.Attempting to one up him. To show him you aren't scared of him. That you can keep up. You begin to deliberately change in front of your window. Letting lacy fabric hit the cold floor and standing just a tad longer, stalling before covering yourself back up.
You hope he's watching when you peel off your work tights. You hope he's imagining himself on his knees tearing the delicate fabric from your form, only to be blocked by a thin pane of glass. You wanted the upper hand.
You hope he's watching as you sink two fingers into yourself, thinking about crisp, white button ups and clear framed glasses.
━━━━
The next few weeks are tense at work. You heard the news of what happened to Gil Colson at Don Mitchell's funeral. Edward would walk in everyday, and attempt to greet you, only this time it's you who is short. You have a little hope that he can't see straight through you. But you can see it in the way that he looks at you that you're an open book. Who's to say that he won't just watch, but actually kill you to keep you from talking. But deep down you both know your lips are shut tight.
So you work through the days, just ready to get home. You can hardly stand to look at him. It makes you feel like you're an accomplice. A sitting duck for a man who probably doesn't even care about you, withholding a tip to the police because deep down you really do like him. And you had hoped he liked you too until things got complicated. Now you think it would just be best if he abandoned you right where you were. But he doesn't. In fact, he suddenly has more courage than you'd ever seen from him. It's evident as he catches you by your arm and pulls you into the alleyway beside the office after work is over. It's dark and you'd be lying if you said you weren't scared, but he kisses you like nothing is wrong. Like he has no clue. Like nothing has changed.
You pull away from him, wide eyes staring back at him. "Are you okay?" He asks quietly as he brushes a hand up your arm. You can't help the break in your voice. "I know, Edward."
He just stands and stares. "What?" You take two steps back. "You're killing people." He continues to stare. He drops his hand from your arm. The silence scares you more than anything. But he simply sighs.
"I think you should go home and get some rest."
And before you can argue he walks away with a quickened pace.
━━━━
So you do. You return to your shitty apartment and try to compose yourself. What would he do now that you said that? Maybe you were wrong. Maybe you had accused him of something he genuinely didn't do. But it didn't feel wrong. You sigh as the hot water hits your back. You had hoped a shower would help you feel refreshed, but for the first time in a while, it feels like a chore. You can't enjoy it, so you rush through it. As you step into your bedroom you stop in your tracks. The window is slightly ajar, a cool draft flowing in tingles your bare legs. And then you see him. The figure in the darkness of your room. This time you're not dreaming.
He's in your room. You're paralyzed. The position you swore you'd never let yourself be put in. He's got the upper hand.
He just stands there. A part of you wishes he would attack you. Kill you. Anything just to break the still silence. You realize you're shaking. You agreed to play his game and now you're trailing his lead, allowing yourself to be beaten.
"Edward."
It comes out as a shaky whisper, but he visibly takes it in as he steps toward you to close the distance. You can see his eyes crinkle at the corners through the green mask. He's smiling. And he reaches a gloved hand to your face, cupping one cheek. You can feel the warmth radiating from his hand even through the glove. So, he is human. The Riddler has a beating heart and flowing blood. He is not a cold, lifeless monster. His stoic frame you had become so familiar with at work was gone. He catches a tear from your cheek with his thumb.
He is terrifying.
"No more through the window. I'll be gone soon."
Before you can entirely comprehend the statement and it's implications, your brain forms the word that leaves your mouth. "Gone?"
He simply smiles again, this time reaching his hands behind his head to abandon the mask he had come in with, and there he is. Cherubic features glowing under the street lamp light that flows in from your window. "I watched you live for a month. I watched you eat, sleep, undress, touch yourself. But you knew that right? Otherwise you wouldn't have put on such a show."
You attempt to struggle away from his grasp in disgust at his words but he holds you tight in front of him. "But that's alright. I'll tell you the truth because I hate liars. I liked knowing that you were doing it all for me. I wanted nothing more than to cleanse Gotham, to give them true salvation, but you put a dent into that plan. You became a distraction that I foolishly indulged." The soft light is hitting his features just right. He looks like an angel in devils' clothing. And his tight grip is right back to a gentle caress. His hand reaches the small of your back and you're sucking in a shrill breath.
His kiss is soft, inexperienced. Much like the other times you had kissed. But he is treating you like glass that might break. You think it might be the first time you've seen him relax enough to be seen as a particularly gentle being. He's ditched his looming, arrogant behavior you're so used to just to show you his utmost affection. It's the first time you have seen him like this since the first time you had kissed.
But some part of you is burning. He's not your prince charming. You know exactly what he is capable of, you've seen it. You're not glass. You're not a damsel. This is a man who has watched you undress for him through your window for weeks. This is a man who has killed. And it shouldn't bring heat into your core the way it does. Perhaps it's the thrill of the danger.
You kiss him so hard that your teeth clash. It stuns him as his hand lifts from your body momentarily before finding purchase at your hips. He's inexperienced, but the desperation coming from both of you is enough to cover it up.
The warmth and weight of his tongue in your mouth is intoxicating. The little sparks of guilt and shame that flash in your stomach are quickly subdued by his nimble fingers caressing under your nightgown and up your thighs to hook in the waistband of your panties. You can't help the pathetic moan that escaped your mouth as he slowly drags the fabric down your legs.
"I wanted to do it right. Wanted to take you to that diner, buy your food, take you home, and act like I hadn't thought about fucking you into your mattress every single night."
It's almost strange to see him on his knees. He has built himself up to be godlike. You were sure he wouldn't mind you on your knees in front of him. Absolutely worshipping him. The warmth of his tongue swiping over you has your thoughts lurching, and yes, god, he is divine.
"But it would be wrong to pretend to be someone I am not. I'm not a liar."
You can't help but tangle your fingers into his beautifully unkept hair and pull. He is ravishing you. Sinking two fingers into you until you feel the heavenly curl right into the spot that makes you whimper. "Eddie-" He swallows your moans in a desperate openmouthed kiss. His fingers are working you open, you can feel tightness build in your stomach. Like a rubber band ready to snap. But it's ripped away from you as he pulls his fingers out of you and swiftly pushes you to the bed. The sounds of his belt buckle coming undone has your heart racing faster than it already was, your stomach fluttering.
He buries himself inside of you with no hesitation, no time to adjust. It hurts and his inexperience is noticeable, but the look of bliss on his face and his slight whimpers has you ready to cum before you've even started.
You're gripping onto the back of the green leather parka, reminding yourself of who you're with. Who you're letting fuck you right now. But those green eyes bring you back to all those times he'd flash a slight smile your way in the office. He'd try to hide it but you're the only person he showed fondness towards in that hell hole of a workplace. Thinking back to the night he had kissed you has tears welling up in your eyes again. He notices.
He slows his pace momentarily, letting his short thrusts turn into long drags. A gloved hand wipes tears away once again and you meet his concerned gaze.
"Does this not make you happy?"
Your hands move to cradle his face. A move that he's certainly not used to as his thrust halt for a moment in surprise. "I am happy. But what comes after this? Am I supposed to ignore you and pretend I know nothing about you? That I feel nothing for you?" He stops his movements completely now. The room has fallen silent apart from the heavy breathing between you two.
"I have to mean nothing to you. Momentarily."
You knew the answer before you asked the question, but it hurts just as bad anyway. You don't take your eyes off his. The Riddler's facade is cracking before your eyes, you can see his eyes becoming glossy. It's almost like he's turned into a completely different person. He kisses you. Deeply, but not rough. There's so much pent up feeling behind it, you could sob even harder. But you don't and he keeps kissing you as he resumes his movements.
You're not using any protection, but you're too blissed out to care. You crave that feeling of warmth. "Eddie- I-"
His hips start to stutter as he cuts you off and buries his face in your neck. " I love you- please God- just say it back to me. Tell me you love me." You hold his face in your hands guiding his gaze to meet yours again. "Edward, I love you."
That's all it takes for him to fall apart. His whimpers and cries are like music to your ears and the feeling of warmth as he releases everything he has into you is blissful. You both have to take a second to recover, foreheads pressed together. But eventually he rolls off of you carefully and tucks himself back into his pants. The silence is deafening. You said it to push him over the edge, but was it true that you loved him? The idea of falling in love with Edward was easy in your mind, in a perfect world the idea of settling down somewhere else and waking up next to him felt good. But this wasn't a perfect world. Edward killed people, powerful people, and the chance that he'd get away without paying for it was slim.
"I'm gonna turn myself in in a couple of days."
"Okay."
"You should leave Gotham. It's not going to be safe for you here. If the cops ask you're visiting a friend in Bludhaven."
His hand grips yours as he looks at you.
"I promise if I ever get out, I'll find you."
━━━━
You do as he asked of you. Got a hotel in Bludhaven and in the next couple of nights you watched the television endlessly, waiting to see his face. The night you finally did, you cried yourself to sleep, gripping the hotel sheets as you buried your face into your pillow.
But you held yourself together and did as Edward asked.
When the man in the bat suit showed up at your hotel door a week after the flood you give your best answers.
"I'm visiting a friend, but the flood has kept me in town."
"No, I didn't know him well, we just worked together."
"I mean he was a little strange, but I never thought he would murder someone."
Those stupid reading challenges make a bit more sense if you remember that some ppl only read for quantity not quality. Goodreads literally has a reading challenge feature where you can decide to set a goal to read X amount of books in a year, I've seen some people have that challenge set between 100-300. Since Goodreads and all those book-fluencer also seem to be found on the same social medias: Youtube, tiktok, etc it kinda makes sense that some people honestly have no idea you can read based on quality and enjoyment, not to reach a certain challenge.
Personal mini side condescension: Maybe also the reason why so many books with meh-quality writing are so popular. You need to use less brain power to actually think about what you're reading because it's all so on the nose. So many books just feel the same no matter who writes them.
--
Now, be fair, I'm sure everyone does, at least in their own mind, have standards.
But yes, the desire for a quick beach read is exactly why a lot of books are un-challenging. Sometimes, this is good. Sometimes, it is not. I prefer it when readers know they're looking for that and aren't insecure about it.
Some of the TMNT fandom (and, frankly, society) really ain't shit.🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
[From left to right: Princess Fiona (Ogress Form) (Shrek) Eep (The Croods) Gloria (Madagascar) Dijonay Jones (The Proud Family) Luisa Madrigal (Encanto) April O'Neil (TMNT Mutant Mayhem)]
These ladies are female protagonists in their respective franchises. All of them have different body types that contrast from the default thin, petite body type that we're used to seeing. And all of them are BEAUTIFUL! 💖
Three of these ladies became love interests that ended up in healthy relationships with partners who love them for who they are. Also, four of them are women of color. (idk if Fiona counts. While she is green, she started off white so... 50/50? 🤷🏾♀️) That part is especially relevant to this post because Twitter got me EFFED UP. I'M ON ONE, ON TWO, ON THREE TODAY!
So the concept art of Mutant Mayhem's April O'Neil was revealed by James A. Castillo, an artist who worked on the movie.
And people are DRAGGING HIM LEFT AND RIGHT! Being disrespectful to both him and April's design. I can tell you right now not even a third of those quotes aren't positive! There is a vast difference between criticism and insults:
💛"I do not like this design. Besides the color yellow and her red/ginger hair, she simply doesn't read as April O'Neil." That's criticism. This expresses disproval of the design without any vulgarities.
💔"Rethink your entire career. "Artist" my ass! This shit is garbage! She looks like she sleeps in a van and smokes so much weed she reeks of it. You failed." That's disrespect. And I don't think I need to tell you why.
Normally, I tend not to discuss such sensitive topics on my blog (religion, politics, discrimination of ANY kind, etc.) for my sanity and out of respect for others with opposing views. But today, I will make an exception.
I would love to include Luisa, who alongside April was mocked and disrespected heavily for her appearance, but I wanted to speak on this matter from the perspective of a plus-sized African American woman. Luisa comes from an completely different background whose culture and standards I am not entirely familiar with. I can't speak on what I don't know. Respectfully.💜
In the black community, women are faced with colorism, texturism, constant comparison, and body image negativity on a daily basis. And a good amount of it comes from our own community! Our shade, our 4C hair, our weight, our attractiveness, our lifestyle! It's brutal out here!😭😭😭
However, in terms of media a plus-sized black girl is seen as ghetto, loud, and undesirable with a side of attitude. The best example I can think of is Dijonay from The Proud Family.
This is the show I grew up on! The theme song, the characters, the Suga Mama, ICONIC! I love Dijonay to pieces, but as I grew up I realize that she was, in some aspects, a negative portrayal. She was always chasing instead of being "the chase". She was a horrible friend to Penny. And she sucumbed to a lot of negative stereotypes with barely any redeeming qualities. And this was very disheartening considering that she was the darkest one in the group. And the heaviest. And as a little chubby wubby in the 2000s with THIS as my representation? I have to give the writers a bit of the side eye. Was she any better in The Proud Family: Louder and Prouder? To that I would say.... meh. I love her in the reboot, but they could do so much more with her in my opinion. I still haven't seen them address the issue of colorism. 👀
While she is not a human, Gloria is voiced by a black woman (Jada Pinkett Smith) and imitates the sass of a black woman so... yeah. She's included. Gloria was persued by two men. One was the suave, flexing hippo Motto Motto. And the other was her friend/neighbor from her childhood Melman. She chose the latter for good reason of course. Now in Madagascar, Gloria wasn't mocked or criticized for her weight. In fact, hippos are known for their weight. However, she was seemingly fetishized for it. By Motto Motto to be exact. And being fetishized is NOT better than being ridiculed.
Unlike Dijonay, April was the chase, a love interest for Leonardo. I admit, I was SHOCKED that she was gonna be persued. Let alone that the writers wanted to try another Turtle/April pairing considering how April and Donnie went...😬. Now her backlash was on a completely different level. One that I wasn't even prepared for....
While Gloria and Dijonay are original characters, Mutant Mayhem's April O'Neil is a different interpretation of the character that has existed since the 80's. The same can be said for the Turtles, Splinter, literally everybody else! Every show and movie for that matter! And with every story, she changes. Design, motivation, relationships/dynamics, even race as of lately. All of it changes. And change isn't bad. In my opinion, it keeps things fresh and interesting instead of spoon feeding us the same story and concepts over and over again. Change challenges us. Change motivates us. However, some people don't like change nor want to accept it and adjust. And that's life. That's just the way it is. But change is necessary in order to progress.
She wasn't bad in the movie AT ALL. I absolutely adored her! And the dynamic between her and Leo wasn't akward or uncomfortable at all. It was handled really well. Ayo Ediberi did an incredible job bringing her to life! (GOD, I loved her in The Bear! Shameless plug lol)
That being said, I understand some of the sensitivity that fans have when a character changes so drastically you can barely recongnize them anymore beyond the bare minimun. (See also Sonic Boom's Knuckles) But the blatant discrimination, rude comments, and the boldness, THE AUDACITY, that some of these nasty Twitter fingers with their dirty fingernails have to type such disrespect to the artist that I can't repeat up here was wild af. Like, I can't believe we have to share a planet with some of them! Uggh!😷(But that's Twitter 24/7 so what's new?) Her and Rise April don't deserve the hate they get. You don't have to like them. Art is subjective. But to insult and harrass the artists and the people who look like the characters, then mask it under the umbrella of "tHaTs mY oPiNiOn" is 🐱. I said what I said. And I will say that shit again.
Also, just because she's black doesn't mean we can't have another white April O'Neil ever again. We know goodness well they could make another iteration of TMNT and make her white if they wanted to. Heck, I encourage them to explore other races and cultures too! New York is full of them! And it's not like all the other versions of April up and vanished. You can watch them anytime on Hulu, Netflix, Paramount Plus, etc.
One more point I'd like to make is that I am an African American woman who is currently on a weight loss journey. As a plus-sized girl, I had incredibly low self-esteem and picked up toxic, unhealthy eating habits from starving myself to overeating BECAUSE I starved myself. Also, I have experienced both sides from being disrespected and made fun of to being complimented and persued. I was at my biggest weight 2 years ago and I have made incredible progress to lose weight since then. People can lose weight. It is achievable! I went to school with some people who were way bigger than me that lost the weight by senior year! Just because she's big in this movie doesn't mean she can't lose weight by the sequel. Like I've said before, it's not wrong to encourage health and fitness!💪🏾 In life, they call this a glow up. A "remember how you treated them in high school" type of comeback. People can, and are allowed to, change. And it's not wrong to embrace your body and the skin you're in. It's all relative!💖
This post isn't to convince you to change your mind. And it won't make the bullies go away. I can't change the world overnight, nor am I trying to. At the end of the day, you're the consumer. It's your choice. Your prefrence. I can't tell you how to think.
I just wanted to spread a bit of awareness that plus sized people exist. And they will always exist. Everyone is deserving of representation in media in all facets. No matter their shape, size, shade, or sexuality. There are so many people from different walks of life who deserve to be seen and on screen. And the amount of visibility for black girls this year alone is amazing! And I want the same for other women of color, too!
Don't let this trash ass society and the people in it who prefer AI/robots over human beings, fake over real, and bad over good tell you otherwise. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. YES I AM TALKING TO YOU. YOU ARE AMAZING! YOU DESERVE ALL THE GOOD THINGS IN LIFE AND MORE. YOUR STORY CAN CHANGE LIVES. BEING A GOOD, HARD WORKING PERSON DOES PAY OFF IN THE LONG RUN! YOU ABSOLUTELY MATTER IN THIS LIFE AND THE NEXT. WE SEE YOU. I SEE YOU. AND I ADORE YOU. RAISE YOUR SELF ESTEEM, ADJUST YOUR CROWN, WEAR IT PROUD, AND DO YOUR BEST!
admiration (what does she absolutely adore about you)- you’re the only person on this planet who laughs along when she calls everyone ‘bro’ and she says that’s true love 🫢🥶
body (what’s her favourite body part of yours)- minji the typa girl to love wrapping her arms around your waist and just back hugging you, i don’t make the rules 💪
cuddling (how she likes to cuddle)- you’re a mess ima be honest, when cuddling you’re not sure if you’re laying on her arm on her leg 🦈
dates (what’s her ideal date)- hear me out, taking minji to a lego shop and getting each other’s customised mini figure….. me thinks yes!!!!!:!,!,!.!! 👀
emotions (how does she express her emotions around you)- idk if you can call that ‘expressing emotions’, but you know something’s up when she stops calling you ‘bro’
family (does she want one)- maybe? it’s a yes but also a meh 🦧 minji does want some type of family with you but children are sooo annoying………..
holding hands (does she like to hold hands)- she LOVES to hold hands, especially in her dorm like 🤭🤭 hanni automatically fake gags every time she sees you with minji 🥶
injuries (what would she do if you got hurt)- my girl bends down, picks you up and usain bolt’s to the nearest hospital 🏃♀️🏃♀️
jokes (does she like to joke around)- i mean… let’s not forget the fact that she calls you ‘bro’ on daily basis…. minji is secretly a part time comedian, although she takes 80% of her jokes seriously
kisses (how does she like to kiss you)- hear me out, minji loves to give you forehead kisses! they’re so soft too :((
love (what’s her love language)- minji strikes me as a person who’d enjoy building legos sooo 🤭 (not the flowers, the flowers are lame) YALL CAN DEFFO BUILD THE BONSAI TREE TOGETHER
memory (what’s her favourite memory together)- when you first came to the newjeans dorm and you beat hanni at mario kart because she was whining about how clingy the two of you were 👁️ (to this day hanni holds a grudge because of that)
nighttime (how does sleeping with her look like)- if you snore minji will wake you up for the first two weeks sleeping together and go “bro…….. thats not kewl….” and go back to sleep 😭 if you don’t snore, she just cuddles you, arm wrapped around your waits and all that stuff 🫶
oddity (what’s a quirky thing about her)- calling your s/o ‘bro’ (with affection) is quirky by itself, minji wins this round 100% thank you for coming to my ted talk
pet names (what does she like to call you)- try as you might, you won’t convince me miss kim minji doesn’t call you princess, end of the discussion (she goes bro mode on you too)
quality time (how does she like to spend time with you)- either building legos (y’all are making a whole city 🫡) or playing minecraft 🤡 alternatively, you can build lego minecraft…..
rush (does she rush into things)- i mean… first thing she did asking you out was placing her minecraft bed next to yours, i’d say that’s moving fast…
secrets (how open is she with you)- she tells you NOTHING about comebacks, but overall, she’s pretty open? i feel like minji wouldn’t share everything from the begging of your relationship, but she willingly talks about things if you ask her about them
time (how long did it take for her to confess)- how long does creating a new server in minecraft, forcing you there with her, building you two a cute lil home and finishing it by dramatically placing her bed next to yours take? because that’s how she confessed 🫡
upset (what’s her reaction when you’re upset)- she’s a bit confused, why are you sad? if she’s the cause, my girl goes out of her way to earn your forgiveness :(( she ain’t the cause? minji will beat up the actual cause of your sadness (yes, even if it’s a jar you couldn’t open)
visibility (is she afraid of the public opinion)- kinda? minji wouldn’t be the one to propose coming out to public, but if you really wanted that, she would make sure you’re protected and stay away from all the potential hate the two of you could be getting
warrior (how often do you fight)- actually, small fights with minji happen a couple times a month. it’s usually nothing big, just about how she didn’t wake you up before she left for practice etc. most of those banters get resolved with a kiss mwah 🫢
x-ray (is she able to read you)- y e s; she squints her eyes as if she needed glasses, uses her magical superpower (she makes you laugh by looking silly with her eyes squinted) and checks if something is wrong 🫦
yes (how would she propose to you)- now very important, i think minji doesn’t really like change. for now, it’s cool as it is! maybe in the future one of you could propose, but for now? minji’d rather stay as girlfriends
zen (what makes her feel calm)- just quietly enjoying each other’s presence, like sitting side by side and scrolling through y’all’s phones, showing the other some funny stuff
iiiii ummm uhhh little drawings from the fic cus i fixated on my own writting jabsjwhdhe i have a looot to talk about so i will do it under the cut, the fic link will also be here
my girly pop, its weird posting stuff on ao3 but like shes there, the whole fic is me posting random little stuff i wrote on a whim so it will be noticeable dhbfjsjd also warning I might have made everyone a biiit out of character so im kinda sorry lols
now for fun notes and stuff about the chapters i did not add to the end notes
"The sun shines bright" not much to not other than after this clover's hand hurt for like a day and flowey bullied the peck out of them,,, also this is the only time flowey calls clover an idiot on this fic
"The flower pot incident" after the end clover spends like 10 minutes explaining everything about flowey, but he explains it like a little kid would, making it confusing as hell, so ceroba gives up and just like pats him and tells them to be good or smth, it was the same with everyone else
also bad quality comic of how the pot came to be
"What kind of milk were you?" the song came in as i was finishing the chapter and it fitted so well i named the chapter after it, as i mentioned it was me like poking gently to clover's life before the underground, his thought process was mostly thinking marlet was angry at them over doing the dishes in "secret" idk how to explain it but yeah :( poor little fella, also as noted at the end, flowey observed all happening and just like kept in mind
"Sewing back the pieces" I loved imagining how clover's room looked, and i had to include it, more joking around from the best friends, id like to think clover knows how to sew but they are just a bit clumsy with the needle, also those things are slippery...
"The calm before the mall" I feel proud about the title pun(? but this is also what i kind of meant with flowey keeping things on mind, by the time of this chapter a bit of time has passed of them living with humans, and flowey knows how stuff can be and how clover is a biiit shy so thats why the warning was persistent, it didnt work but meh
"Fertilizer is a fun word" IT IS A FUN WORD i love writing it lol, but seriously, i tried exemplifying more the thing of clover not speaking a lot so flowey does most of the talking for them, they do speak a bit but its short sentences and very quietly,
"You are just a boy, you are no man" this one will be long again the song fitted and it came on while writing the middle lol, clover does not know very well about the whole story with chara, but they do know that buttercups are meaningful in some sort of way for flowey so thats why they picked them, now is fun to note that the comments about their friends being monsters did bother clover but the one comment that like spilled the cup was the age one, that one hit deep and thats why they reacted that way, also the amount of people did not bother clover that much when they arrived but like the panic and stuff made them very aware of everyone around and med everything worse so ye, lastly, another time flowey calls someone idiot, this time dalv (sorry king)
i think thats all, if there's a specific choice yall are curios about feel free to tell me :3 i will probably have an answer for it