#why is there spaghetti on the side in that photo tho

[dinnertime]

I used fast-rise yeast and only let it rise once. Here’s hoping they turn out

#vegetables #beef #cabbage #onion #enriched dough #bierocks #mennonite cooking #I AM MAKING THAT #dinnertime #german food #why is there spaghetti on the side in that photo tho???? #I'm really hoping my dough turned out well

[minamrose]

Pairing : youngk/brian-reader

Warnings : swearing, physical violence, mention of harassment

Genre : angst, fluff

Summary : brian, one of your closest friends learns that you slept with one of the guys he hates the most at your school (you didn't actually) , and he gets angry at you because you don't want to talk to him about it, he's also a bit jealous. But the he learns the truth and happy ending 🌹

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were about to crack. If you heard him say something more, you were afraid you'll punch him.

"didn't know you were that type of person y/n"

He was sitting right in front of you across the table. You raised your gaze slowly and looked at him. He was furious, you could feel it even if he tried to remain calm. All he wanted was to provoke you right now... The others around you started talking in murmurs. You bit your lip.

"Brian , calm down it's not the time nor the Pl..." you started calmly trying to avoid a really embarrassing situation

But he didn't seem to care

"is it the time and place to tell everyone that you're just a little whore?"

That's it, you couldn't take it anymore. You couldn't believe he went that far. You stood up before slapping him in the face so hard that the whole cafeteria heard it and was now turned towards you. You felt a heavy silence cover the whole place, as everyone was impatiently waiting for the next thing you were going to do. You didn't think twice and took your plate of spaghetti to pour it all over brian as he remained silent. You gave him a last look and he could see the hurt in your eyes. "fuck you Brian, I thought you were different". You managed to keep your voice from cracking and got out of the cafeteria as fast as you could. You wanted to cry, and you did, in the toilets.

Brian regretted what he said as soon as the words left his mouth. He wasn't one to handle his emotions very well, especially when it was about you. He hurt you, he knew it. But he was still mad at you, for so many reasons, reasons he thought he will never find the courage to tell you. He silently got out of the cafeteria , as everyone laughed at him.

18h36

You were home.

You were going through your last texts with Brian, last night and started reminiscing about everything that happened since then.

*Text*

You : sorry for yesterday night, I had to take care of something important

Bribri : oh I know

You : really?? What do you know

Bribri : with Josh... Out of all the boys out there... You must have lost your mind or smth, wtv, not my business

You : yeah not your business, why you being so rude tho?

Bribri: I'll talk to you tomorrow

You : hello am I talkin to my dad?

*/Text*

He didn't answer anymore. You were so confused. The next morning (today), you two talked, indeed. You didn't quite remember at which point you two got really mad at each other...

*flashback*

"Brian, I don't really get why we are having this conversation.." you said, exhausted

"I just don't think I can be friends with you anymore if you're not being honest with me... I swear you hate that guy since elementary school and now he's talking about you like you're his bitch..." he sighed "he sent that photo of you to everyone y/n! " he looked into your eyes as he almost screamed. You crossed your arms over your chest and raised an eyebrow trying to cover the fact that you were anxious.

"okay then, don't be friends with me.. Gosh why are you being so childish..." you then started walking away, trying to escape the situation.

Brian remained static, he had felt your words as if they were bullets. "don't be friends with me", "so childish". He couldn't believe that was what you thought about him. He was worried about you and you just saw him as an exasperating presence. He exhaled deeply, trying to relax his tense jaw.

That same morning you texted that Josh, told him you needed to talk to him. You met at the library, on a corner where nobody could see you.

"okay, you got what you wanted, you made me a whore in the eyes of the entire school, can you stop now? Like get to your next prey I don't know, leave me alone"

"y/n, you don't get to tell me what to do. What about you come to my house later and we get some more pictures of you and... "

You didn't listen to his next words. Your mom is a psychologist, and Josh is one of her patients, she's talked to you a bit about him mostly to warn you about him because the boy is Psycho. He was smirking at you. You were absolutely disgusted.

" you're really sick in the head aren't you? What do you think everyone will think about you if I tell them what you were REALLY doing that night? " you threatened him

"don't be so stupid. I already told you that you better not say anything or I'll make my parents ruin your mom's reputation, she will never be able to work again and..."

"I don't care about my mom" you cut him "so if I want to tell the truth I will and I don't care if you ruin her she's a bitch"

He looked at you as if you were crazy. He seemed afraid though.. He stared at you silently before sighing.

"and I AM the psycho right? Okay, okay, I'll stop..."

You gave him a last menacing look before leaving him.

You had lied. You didn't hate your mom and you weren't going to put her career at risk, but at least it seemed to have worked.

Later that day you went to the cafeteria to eat with your usual friends, including Brian. You really didn't want to be cold with him. So you sat in front of him, in hopes of relaxing things with him. Well, it only made things worse. You had never seen Brian so mad at you, he ignored you everytime you talked to him, he didn't even look at you. You had enough. "Brian, stop it now" you said to him multiple times. Sharp words came out of his mouth, such as "y/n can you understand that I can't always be on your side? I have the right to not wanting to talk to you", "are you in lack of attention? Gosh", "why did you even sit in front of me" . You just looked at him in awe, your eyes became wet as you looked away, trying not to lose your temper. Your friend asked you "what's wrong with him? What did you do?" and everyone else saw his attitude towards you. And then you know what happened.

*/flashback*

You sighed deeply, laid in your bed and closed your eyes.

Brian could be such a prick sometimes. He really was someone who could hurt with his words. But you knew him, and he only did that when he was hurt aswell.

But why was he so quick to judge you? Couldn't he wait for you to tell him what is going on? He was being such a child honestly. You spent the night thinking about him.

You put your phone in your sweater's pocket.

You were almost falling asleep when you felt your phone under your belly. You opened your eyes and looked at the screen.

Bribri : I'm outside.

Wtf. You frowned as you got up of your bed, your phone in hand. It was like 2 am.

You : you serious

Bribri: yes

Half awake, you took baby steps to your room's door. You tried not to make a sound while getting down the stairs. You put on your coat and opened the door of your house. You found a freezing Brian standing outside. He looked at you but not for long. His eyes were admiring the floor apparently. You put your hands in the pockets of your coat and approached him slowly.

"you wanna sit?" you offered and you two sat on the chairs that were on your porch. They weren't the most comfortable but it was better than nothing.

"you could have waited tomorrow.." you said in a low voice

"I know I... I probably should just go home and let you sleep.. I'm sorry I d.. I don't know why I.." he started getting up but you grabbed his arm

"brian.. I can't go to sleep now it would be torture."

"right..." he sighed, sitting down

You had your arms crossed, waiting for him to talk but he seemed to be struggling. At the moment you were so angry at him you thought you'd better shut up.

"y/n... I'm so sorry" he started

His voice was low but you heard the sincerity in his words.

"I didn't mean to tell you those things it's just that... I don't know..."

"you called me a whore, in front of everybody"

"I apologize y/n! But You told me I was being childish when I was worried about you and tried to reach to you.. You rejected me and treated me like I was crazy.."

"I know.." you admitted

" y/n you just leave at 2 am at a party without saying anything " he took a deep breath " do you know how much I panicked when you didn't answer your phone that night? I thought something had happened to you... "

" I know, I'm sorry I should have texted you but.. "

" And next thing I know, everyone is saying you spent the night with that bastard " you saw his face change as he said those words, you could sense the anger coming out of him

" Brian..."

"after that you didn't come to school for like two days and you wouldn't even answer my calls or my texts ... so yeah, I was really annoyed at you... You acted as if I didn't exist when all I wanted was to help you, and then you want to act as if nothing happened" he stopped, his eyes were wandering in front of him, in the dark "but it made me realize something, It made me realize.. that I mean nothing to you"

You stared at him in silence as he nervously played with his hands. Tears started to come to your eyes.

"And it hurts honestly, because maybe.. You mean too much to me"

"stop it" you said in a quiver as you stood up to wipe your tears

"yeah I'll stop, don't worry about it" he finally said with a raspy voice as he tried not to let you know he too was about to cry

He quickly stood up and started walking away.

But you followed him.

"Brian stop!"

He did, you walked to him and stood in front of him. Your eyes were glittery and your nose was runny.

"you don't get it, please listen to me!" you felt the tears run down your hot cheeks

"I.. Am not perfect Brian" your voice was trembling"I tried to help a friend who had been drugged at the party and they were about to use her for god knows what, but they.. Josh wouldn't let us go unless I took that photo he's been showing everywhere.."

"wait... What? Why didn't you tell me?!"

"I don't know... I was ashamed.. I didn't want to bother you with my problems... I didn't know how to tell you that... Brian I.." you looked away as you took one deep breath

"did he touch you?! Who else was there y/n?! " he sounded infuriated

"no... He just said if I told anybody he would tell his parents to ruin my mom's reputation. The other guys, I don't know their names but I think they are in the football team. "

"sick bastard.. I forgot his parents were richer than anyone in this town" his hand furiously went through his messy hair

"please don't do anything" you asked him

He looked at you. The anger vanished from him as he saw your face buried in tears. He softly took your face into his hands and gently, with his sleeve, dried your cheeks.

"do you understand now?" you asked

His head tilted "I do"

He silently pulled you into his arms. You felt so vulnerable yet so good at that exact moment. You detached a bit from him in order to look at him.

"so... How much do I mean to you exactly? "

He glued his eyes to yours.

"you mean everything to me" he whispered

You smiled.

"Brian, I'm sorry I made you think I didn't care about you, it's not true."

He smiled too.

"please don't do it ever again"

"also, thank you for being there"

He rubbed his thumb against your rosy cheeks. "I'll always be there for you"

#Kpop scenario #Kpop #Imagine #Day6 #Youngk scenario #Youngk angst #Youngk fluff #Day6 angst

[robobrainmurdermysterytheatre]

I'm honestly fixing to write like a 3-part love letter to Fallout, Fallout 4 particularly - because it was the first one I played, the one I know the most about, and the one closest to my heart.

Like I went downstairs today and my dad was watching a spaghetti western and I went "I should decide which Fallout to play based on what my dad is watching when I go to scavenge food from the kitchen. Spaghetti western? Fallout NV! WWII documentary? Fallout 4!" But it just hits me sometimes a lot of the stuff in the game make me think about my family, especially 4 with it's like weird, wonderful post WWII era slash Revolutionary War mashup aesthetic it makes me think of my dad a lot because he likes that kind of stuff. 

And the aesthetic is lit, in all the games. I've been into that kind of post-apocalyptic-trappings-of-modern-life-full-of-cracks-and-covered-in-rust since I was way young. I used to take a lot of photos that fit that aesthetic. Probably because the house I grew up in kind of turned to that aesthetic. My dad was a carpenter - and mechanic and plumber and electrician off the books tho lol- so we always had lumber and tools and supplies and shit just chilling. We had old car tires and broken stuff that we were gonna use to fix other stuff hanging around. We were, imma just say it, fucking poor, so we had tons of things that were far past being "good" but were still useful-but-janky-asf so we kept them around and used them. We had a bunch of military surplus stuff and military stuff of my grandad's. Also because we were fucking poor we didn't have a lot of shit to do as kids. Some of my fondest memories as a kid were going out in the backyard with my brother and rounding up old tires and sawhorses and broken chairs and blue tarps assorted random crap and making forts out of them then hauling the broken computer parts my dad kept around for god knows what reason inside and making super lit command bases (idk what the fuck we were commanding but, eh, we were like 7/8) and YOU GUYS that's just literally playing Fallout 4 lmfao.

Also the music? In all the games? I grew up listening to a lot of different styles of music, but I have a special fondness for that era of music. When I was growing up I spent a lot of time at my grandparent’s shop and they always had the radio system tuned to this OLD oldies AM radio station that played a lot of those songs. I have super deeply ingrained fond memories of all the time I spent there.

Speaking of my grandparents: I’m 33 so my grandparents were solidly post-WWII-era folks on both sides of my family. Both my grandfathers served in WWII. Some of the setpieces I see in the game just SNAP me back to my childhood - my grandparent’s home decor was still stuck that era, there were things at my grandparents’ house didn’t see anywhere else. Like my grandma had one of those sunburst metal art deco style clocks hanging above her fireplace, and when I saw one in the game I went HOLY CRAP that’s my grandma’s clock lol. 

Also one of my grandpas was an atomic veteran, a marine, I posted something about that once. The only thing I ever really knew about his service was that he was in the first group of soldiers on the ground after the bomb in Nagasaki to do cleanup. He never talked about it, I never asked (he passed away when I was 12 so it never occurred to me to ask). I don’t know if he ever talked about it to his family, my aunt said the only thing he ever said to them about it was about how friendly and wonderful the Japanese people were to them. I also know that one of the guys he served with sued the government to recognize and fund treatment of the health effects of fucking around in and cleaning up the wreckage of ground zero for an atomic bomb about a month after it went off. Several years ago for shits and giggles I had Googled my grandpa’s name, and it came up in a book about that guy he served with and atomic vets in general which covers the veterans who did the cleanup at Hiroshima and Nagasaki and were exposed to radioactivity as well as those involved with all of the testing leading up to America’s development of the a-bomb who were exposed. I went through a ton of literature on it - I’m not going to get started on my bullshit right now but you can click this sentence to read about how the American military exposed somewhere in the neighborhood of 200,000 of its own people to radiation then didn’t do shit about it until the 1990′s (read the sources too, the Wikipedia article is super generalized the whole situation is bullshit asf). Anyway, for obvious reasons, playing a game set post-nuclear apocalypse makes me wonder what my grandpa went through, what he saw. This is also my grandpa that Nick Valentine reminds me of, lol. My grandpa didn’t exactly have a noir detective vibe, but some of the things Nick says, some of his personality traits, in a lot of ways the human appearance he’s supposed to resemble, all remind me a lot of my grandpa ❤

I got going so I guess we’re past the “fixing to” stage lol I actually wrote most of parts 2 and 3, but I’m going to uhhh stagger part 2 and 3 over a while so you all don’t have to deal with wall after wall of text. 

I just really felt like talking how deep this game has wormed its way into my heart, and why it’s special to me and the first and a big part of that is because it gives me serious feels about my family.

#fallout 4 feels hour #sorry it's so long

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #143

“i’d rather be in battle than slaughtered like cattle.”

Were you happy or sad when you found out your babysitter was coming?  Sad, I had separation anxiety from Mom. Did you have a boyfriend in kindergarten?  No. Did you ever read the "Junie B. Jones" books?  LOVED THEM. Were you friends with your neighbors?  I was friends with a boy down the street. Did you ever play the "Reader Rabbit" computer games?  YESSSSS I LOVED THE BIRTHDAY PARTY ONE. What kinds of games did you play with your friends during Recess?  None really, we just played on the swings and such. What was your favorite kind of cake as a kid?  Chocolate. Who were you last in an elevator with?  Mom. Do you know anyone that has a black belt in karate?  No. If you have a notepad in your phone, what do you use it for the most?  I have tattoo ideas on it lmao. Who is the last child that you took a photo with?  Aubree. How and where did you get your most recent cut?  On the side of my hand.  I was drying my feet off after a shower, and my toenail cut the fuck out of it. ;-;  Pretty sure the scar's gonna be permanent. Would you ever get a nature tattoo?  Yeah, sure. Do you have any locked texts messages?  A few from Sara. Is anyone saved in your phone under a nickname?  My sisters are just "Ash" and "Nicky." Which company provides your car insurance?  I don't have my own car. Have you ever ordered from an informercial?  Nope. When, where, and why did a needle last pierce your skin?  Tattoo parlor in June to get a tattoo. Why did your last relationship end?  I didn't like him like that, I found. Do you have any tan lines?  No. Have you ever had any friends with benefits?  No. How old were you when you became financially independent from your parents?  Lol I'm not. What’s your favorite flavor of potato chip?  Ummmm probs salt and vinegar. Do you have a lock number or pattern for your phone?  No. What was the hardest language you’ve ever tried to learn?  What the super fuck even is Latin. Do you have any food intolerances or allergies?  No.  Well, without my medicine, bananas give me hellish heartburn. What’s the most number of people you’ve ever lived with?  Five.  Mom, Dad, two immediate sisters, and on different occasions my half-brother lived with us, then Dad's daughter stayed here a while. How many college degrees do you want?  Ideally, a master's because that's what is required to be an out-in-the-field zoologist.  I can do some things with lower ones, though. What do you look forward to most in the next two months?  Photographing my first wedding, my nephew's and mom's birthdays, going to see Sara in a little over two. What song explains how you feel about love?  "When It's Love" by Van Halen will always be way up there. Have you ever been IN a wedding?  Yeah, bridesmaid at Ash's. Have you ever been covered in mud?  Probably as a kid? Are there any books you wanna read?  I'm always gonna wanna read Rhett and Link's book, and I wanna start reading Wings of Fire 'cuz it sounds like something I'd like, thanks Sara. What classes are you taking in school? I'm not back in it yet. What is the last song you attempted to play on an instrument? I don't remember.  I took my guitar out months upon months ago to try and mess wi- OH, it was "Sweet Child O' Mine," and it went down horribly lmao. Could you handle being married to the last person you kissed?  That's the plan, buddy. Do you crack your knuckles?  No. How do you react when people sing “happy birthday” to you in a restaurant?  Get really shy and look down, but can't help but smile. Ever been shot by a paintball gun?  No. Have you ever had a significant other with a mental disorder?  Yes. Are you a moaner, a screamer, or totally silent?  The first. Have you ever tried Nutella?  I love that shit. Are there any activities which are “meant for children” that you still enjoy?  Yeah, movies, shows, games... Is there anything you wish you had started doing when you were younger that would have had an impact on or would have helped you with your life today?  Yeah.  I should've worked on social skills way sooner.  I should've fought back younger. Can you read lips?  Not at all. Are you part of any online communities? If so, which ones, and how did you get involved in them?  Only really KM, and because I've been in the meerkat RP community since '05. When vacuuming, do you have a set pattern or do you go willy-nilly?  Somewhat of a pattern. What’s your favorite kind of bread?  Pumpernickel. Who’s your favorite Muppet?  I don't have one. What’s your favorite monster? (can be Monsters Inc, horror films, stories, or myths, whatever)  Probably the Jersey Devil or Mothman.  Or the Dover Demon.  I like cryptozoological stuff okay. Have you ever considered shaving your head? Have you shaved it?  Noooooo. Have you ever seen a polar bear in person?  Yeah, at zoos. What’s your favorite school yard game? (4-Square, Kick the Can, etc)  I think it was called 4-Square... but I'm not sure. Have you ever boycotted anything?  No. Would you fall apart if that last person you kissed walked out of your life?  Um you have no idea. Are you against smoking weed?  Yeah tbh.  However I know there's lots of evidence coming out proving some of its medical uses, but I'm still kinda.  Unsure about medical marijuana. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about your feelings?  Sara. Who of the opposite sex has seen you at your worst?  Jason. Who were you dating this time last year?  Girt. Have you ever smoked pot?  I've only ever been in the presence of people smoking it. Are your ears gauged?  No. Have you ever played beer pong?  No. Do you believe that you are a good girlfriend or boyfriend?  I sure hope so. Would you hug your ex again?  A couple I would. Do you like to climb trees?  I wouldn't know. Name your three closest friends.  Sara, Colleen, then probably Alex?  Although she hasn't been talking to me lately. What is the best kind of Girl Scout cookie?  I loved the chocolate and PB ones. Do you like it or hate it when your partner is clingy?  To a degree, I like it.  Shows they really do care. What kind of jelly do you buy?  Grape. Is your dad overweight?  He's underweight. Do you know all the words to “Don’t Trust Me” by 3oh!3?  I don't feel like playing it in my head but maybe 'cuz that song was my shit. What movies have you cried to?  Oh yeesh, I'm a fucking baby.  The Notebook, A Walk to Remember, Old Yeller, Logan, The Outsiders, Titanic, The Hunger Games (I think), and how could I almost forget Forrest Gump.  I knoooow there's more tho. Do you love substitute teachers?  No.  We would sit around doing nothing. Does your personality generally fall in line with gender stereotypes?  Not really? What’s your favorite movie soundtrack?  Off the top of my head, maybe Blair Witch Project 2: Book of Shadows. If you could own any 3 fictional objects from any book/movie/show, what would you choose? (does not have to all be from the same book/movie/show)  I legitimately want to commission someone to make a wooden model of Lord Emon's mask from Shadow of the Colossus.  I want so much SotC stuff, but shit expensive man.  Ummm having the Seal of Metatron from SH3 would be an awesome lil collectable.  OH YEAH and why the hell not have a hearthstone from WoW so I can go home in a jiffy whenever I want. :'D How far away do you live from the last place you lived?  Like... 10-15 minutes? Do you know anyone who’s had their kids taken by Child Protective Services?  No. You’re in a food court, what do you feel like eating?  Pizza, probably. Have you ever seen someone sleepwalk?  Yes, my younger sister.  She legit tried to go outside, but I obviously stopped her (I was the only one in the room). Have you ever thought about getting your tongue pierced?  Yes, and I would if I didn't have a damn retainer. If you had to move in with a friend, which one would you pick?  I'd move in with Sara any day. How does alcohol affect you?  Okay so I handle alcohol extremely well so I've never seen serious changes... but I do know if I'm tipsy, I'm more talkative and outgoing.  I don't think my face flushes anymore. When was the last time you had a cold or flu?  Holy shit I couldn't tell you for a cold.  I've never had the flu, thankfully. Have you ever watched Parks and Recreation?  Girt and I watched a few episodes.  It wasn't bad, but the fact still stands that I can't really get into TV. What is your favorite kind of pasta?  Typical spaghetti and meatballs. What color is your shampoo?  Pink. Is there a special someone in your life right now?  Yes. If so, tell me your favorite thing about their personality and their looks:  She's strong as fuck and her smile's to die for. Ever made a guy cry?  Yeah. Has a guy ever made you cry?  For over a year straight lmao. What’s the worst goodbye you’ve ever had to say?  To Jason. What make up product do you never use? It'd be easier to tell you only what I do use.  I only ever wear eyeliner and then sometimes eye shadow, mascara, lipstick, and very rarely foundation. What is one place you have been to and hated?  Uhhhh idk. Have you ever seen a jellyfish?  In aquariums, yes.  So majestic. Did anyone ever draw on your face when you were sleeping? No. Have you ever done that to someone else?  No. Were you ever chased by an animal?  Only pets playfully. Have you ever started talking to someone that you thought was someone else?  Omfg I did this a good number of months back at the tat parlor and the embarrassment will stay with me forever. Name one person of the same sex as you that you wouldn’t mind dating? Okay so I'm not gonna be a smartass and say "my girlfriend," I'll actually answer this as if we weren't together.  I'd date Suzy Hanson in a heartbeat, come at me Arin.  Fuckin sweetheart. Do you know any vegans?  No. What’s your best friend’s pet’s name(s)?  Sara: Martha, Crowley, Little Dot, Buster, Mabel, Doris.  Idk the toads' and fishes' names yet.  Colleen: Miracle and Maxwell. When was the last time you were disappointed?  Two or so days ago, real bad.  Mom put aside buying the concert tickets regardless of how many times I reminded her, and now we can't go. Have you ever been on a blind date? No, not my thing. If you have a job, who’s your closest friend at work?  No job. Do you see yourself married in the next five years?  Probably at least engaged.  Maybe married.

#survey #quiz #questions

[buzzmemes]

I hate this

I hate this : Memes

your passport photo and copy of passport At my school, the homework was to color the picture. So very true... In my school it’s so bad, the teacher projects it on the whiteboard ah, nightmares Soo true XD They say that because you cropped it out. And that is a fact They use plotters I get it! Lol that’s good shit Im sory Toad The homework that steals your time and your lunch money 99% of sane teachers shows u the color image on smart board No teachers want to show u crappy print Just understand it. Color printer is expensive. You’re telling me that teachers give out free black children? Bet, already got three in the basement itsa me, Noir-io Facts tho It'sa me, a-Copyo! We all make mistakes in the heat of passion, Jimbo. Come back in ten years And they pop in a “do you see the ... in the picture” question Why mario on the right looks like he's about to wake me up at 3 am saying with deep demonic voice It's time for me to turn you into my spaghetti Is this the new "We have ____ at home" ? Since im in school this is to relatable The math graphs were the worst though 30 years of saving princesses, 30 years of smashing brown mushrooms. And for what? Cake? Mario!? Why does this remind me of the fearsome Llapp Goch Master. There's a good chance this is unique! I checked 103,921,185 image posts and didn't find a close match Whenever I got bad copies I'd always split the best copies around the room so every student was at least near a good copy and keep a bad one for myself... Remember when you were the chosen one to go out of class and get em papers wonderful If Mario was in Papers, Please AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA printer companies: see you little shits? this is why your printer needs colored cartridges! My name is paublo Yes Is that pablo It's supposed to be not centered Based on a true story Itsa me, Marijuanio! he looks so sad:( NVM took a secound look he looks like he bout to ask me if i wanna buy WEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDD Kinda looks like Hitler though Noah get the Death Star. My kindergarten teacher wife has to print shit at home for this reason. Effectively costs $300/year in paper/ink and another $100 to replace whatever broken down color ink printer we have in a given year. I want her to transition to laser, but haven't been able to convince her. More like the board of Education, principal and superintendents wanting another raise so the kids get B&W copies. At our large school we have 1 color copier, the rest are black and white. More often than not, kids are not getting color copies. Budget. Why is this too true Don't you be knocking LaserJet. Those things were a tank whose toner lasted a long time. DeskJet is what you are looking for. Made with HP LaserJet 100 color MFP Same Mario on the right side looks like sleep paralysis demon, ngl. Mario and Noireio. Top 10 hollywood stars ruined by drug addiction. It looks like if he ran into me he'd try to stuff me into an animatronic suit where I belong Mario looks like he's going to go on a mugging spree Too true Me looking at my paper: HERE WE GOOOO One more gram common u can do it is fentanyl the new drug to go? i only appy the fentanyl patches on them cancer patients at work, so they don't suffer 24/7. a couple of months ago there was a problem at our elderly home, bc some crazies tried to dig them used patches out of our trash..have fun with patches which are covered in shit and piss You should have done 64 or 69 Bro youd die before you even got through half a gram of fentanyl wtf do you even know what fentanyl is lmao A true epic gamer moment God I wish I had some pure fent Issa me, Black tar heroin Mario! Come with me and meet my gang of druga dealers! I really Was expecting a rickroll lmao And this is probably what he's listening to on his alone time https://youtu.be/ijBrulQXE2U It me mrio I jst snrted one mre grm and I jst deid DO IT FOR THE GRAM Go ahead and do another gram just one more gram Legendary The homework that steals your time and your lunch money............... Luigi says: do the coke to get the smoke Betta tell your moms your dads your ministers... WOOOMP WOOOMP WOOOMP!!!! Justa what me the Doctor Mario prescribed Mama mia I a need a more of that a shit YAHOOOOOO!!!! And remember kids - when you do drugs, you go to hell before you die! It’s a me druggooo Mario! I have snorted 68 grams of pure fentanyl and I am going to die. Itsame itsame I’m literally studying for an exam right now and my professor put that on his own notes... like bro nobody gives a shit about your stats notes I had a professor just say “don’t waste your money on the book. Just google book name pdf and it should be the first link.” Then he did in in class go show us And then you have the ones that sell their own 40 page notes in 2 sections for €20 each at the college book store. Or the ones that make class notes and give them out in the first class. Even better are the ones that accidentally send a pdf of their own book that they make no money on due to a shitty publisher to one or two people in the class. my favorite kinds of professors A full commitment is what I'm thinking of A lot of emulators come with a warning like "Use a bios file from your own console. Do not download one for free from the Internet!" I saw something on TIL a while back, during the prohibition era of the United States, some companies sold grape concentrate. They had a warning on them that said something to the effect of "after adding the concentrate to water, do not let it sit for two weeks as it will ferment into wine." As if...they wanted you to do it! That's a pretty calculated statement for them to make. *mobile errors I had calculus profs who would tell us 'I legally cannot advise you to steal copywrited material so under no circumstances should you go to this website and torrent the textbook for free instead of buying it from the overpriced book store and wasting your money' I always love those blank pages that just have in like size i font "Do not write here" for no fucking reason. Then the teacher tells you that they didn't see it I like when it’s in huge, WHITE print in the middle of the fucking page so half the assignment is cut off I like when it says on the side of the paper COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL DO NOT PHOTOCOPY OR DISTRIBUTE BY ANY MEANS Or the "here's a form that was made in Excel, if you could fill it out so that we can input the information back in Excel that would be great." "yeah..." "But the image gets worse!" Work in Japan. Teachers give me a copied paper. "just copy it. They have the file on their damn computer. Which is where we are sitting. -20 points. I can’t even read the damn question At my school, we get lectured for printing a class set rather than just a master. They say it’s about toner being cheaper and the copier cartridges are much much bigger. There are also a lot of places where teachers don't have access to a shared laser printer like that and don't have any option but to make photocopies, so stuff like the OP can be unavoidable sometimes. Genuinely not a problem in my school - we have a fleet of MFDs for bulk printing. We have an admin assistant in charge of the reprographics room who can interrupt jobs if needed as well. It's just an old mindset that they can't get out of. Yeah but then you have to be the asshole that released a print job with 200+ pages while others are waiting to use the copier since this is the only one you can print to. What is full sending? huzzah, a man of quality Have you tried full sending it? From an IT perspective, usually it's not that they want you to know what triggered the problem, they want you to provide concise information on what exactly you were doing up until the issue occurred. Though I do understand that IT technicians are notoriously unsociable lol I'm sure thats a great suggestion but that's the thing is that IT acts like its up to the enduser to already know whats causing the issues and what needs to be done to fix it. Also this doesn't solve his/her issue of getting staples on the copies. Have your IT reinstall your driver and you can select the options that your printer has. likely you are on a global driver, or it wasn't installed correctly! Or if I want staples. We can only select staples on our copier itself. It would be easier if the print queue thing was reliable. But I can't keep running back to my room if it didn't send it, so I make extra copies from my first one. Or if I need front/back from different originals I work in IT support for a school - teachers, for some fucking reason beyond my understanding, seem to print one copy of something, then photocopy it for their classes. Telling them that just printing it for everyone keeps the quality better doesn't sink in. It costs the same, comes out of the same device, and it's less work, but I'm the insane one. Th s rin er se ms o æ run ing lo n ink To the knee And my axe! And my sword! Take mine too! Fuck off take a useless arrow Actually it seems this printer is low on incas. Damn u incas "I'm so sorry kids, our ancient printer is not working properly again" Read the full article

#Memes #memesdaily

[skk-recollection]

September, 11 2019

Cutting it close to the departure time at. Flight was at 9AM. We arrived in Portland around 11PM. First stop was at Nong’s Kao Man Kai or Hainan Chicken over rice in english. A lot of people hyped up this restaurant for me so I had such a high expectation. First impression, the decorations does remind me of my home. We didn’t need to wait to be seated, just wait in line, order, and grab a seat. Food was a little pricey for chicken over rice. Food arrived, first bite without the sauce, nothing special. Second bite with the sauce, the sauce was amazing! it tasted like how it supposed to taste. This place also had fresh garlic on the side for you to add to your sauce. Fresh garlic was a nice touch, it compliments the sauce really well. I must say it was pretty good but still can’t get over the fact of how expensive it is though. Our second stop was at VooDoo Donut. We ordered a dozen of assorted and it came out to $20 lol......12 donuts for $20 was pretty extreme. The taste? it was just whatever. I could be bias though cause I like traditional style donuts, just glaze or sugar coated. 3rd stop, Barcade called Ground Control. It was a little nice arcade place. More of the old school games than modern games. I got to play one of my old favorite game; Time Crisis 2.

Spent a couple of hours there before we check in at the Airbnb. While we were driving to the airbnb, just a little bit outside of downtown, we noticed that the outskirt of Portland literally has nothing but houses. Barely has any restaurants and super markets, very different from where we came from. We checked in at 4PM and rested till 6PM before we got ready to get dinner. We were trying to get dinner at this one famous spot in downtown but it was an hour wait so we went to get pasta nearby instead. This place is also known in Portland but less people. It seemed like most of restaurant in Portland has no assign seating, literally just order at the front and grab a table. We ordered 3 plates; Mac and Cheese, Carbonara Spaghetti, and something else I forgot lol. It was good but nothing special. After dinner we drove a couple of blocks down to a Brewery Jeff was recommended. The place was cool and chill. We ordered some snack and beer. I love the fact that you can order half a pint. I can’t drink a lot of beer so this is perfect for me! We asked the waitress of where should we go for nightlife and she told to just walk down the street to basically China Town Area we were . at this morning. OH I forgot to mention that Portland has one of the saddest China Town ever. China town with no asian...What kind of shit is this. Anyways, we were at this area called “Old Town” supposedly be Gas Lamp of Portland. We were confused when we arrived....it wasn’t that early but it was so empty......friday night at 11PM and barely anybody walking around....We asked one of the club promoter if this is normal? nobody is out here on friday night. He said “yeah man this is it, it’s not like LA” we were like “ahh yeah we’re from LA lol” After a long walk we have decided to check out one of the 90s music bar. It was pretty cool but it was kind of dead. First thing I did when we got in, I took a shot right away so maybe that will make me have a little more fun lol. We went onto the dance floor and I couldn’t help myself but to noticed how weird these people dances......it was so awkward......I guess they do things differently out here than California. We only spent a couple of hours in that club and decided that this is real boring so we took off to buy food and came back to the airbnb and just hangout.

September, 12 2019

We woke up not to early to get breakfast at this well known Dim Sum Spot, considering the MOST famous place for dim sum. Wasn’t disappointed tho, food was good and the price wasn’t too bad. After breakfast we drove out to the east side of Portland to go hiking at Beacon....something. I personally don’t like hiking but fuck it. As much as I hate hiking, I am glad I did it though. The view was beautiful the only bad thing I can say is, you actually get better view 3/4 way up than on the top lol. We kept pushing east to sighting seeing

Love the vibe in all these places. Cloudy, dark green, very moody

September, 13 2019

Today we were going to explore the inner city. We had a breakfast at Screen Door. American style breakfast and brunch. I ordered Chicken Waffles. There were options for 2, 3, or 4 pieces. I got 3 not knowing how big it would be. Just imagine roughly 10oz of chicken thigh....I was dont after eating 2 pieces of chicken and half of the waffles. Not going to lie though, sight seeing in Portland was kind of whatever, at least for me. That’s also why I didn’t take lots of good photos. We had some beer and play some board games between each places. You made a stop at Pittock’s Mansion. The mansion itself was a little bit creepy, the view from the mansion was just okay, not as amazing as the online said...a little disappointed. We didn’t really know what else to do toward the end of the day so we went to Top Golf. Top Golf might just be the most fun I had during the whole trip. I used to play golf before but I was not good. It’s nice to get to play again. We had a little competition, loser buys drink. After that we went to dinner at Pok Pok, one of the most known thai food in Portland so I was excited. We ordered a lot in quantity but the portion is nothing. We orders 6 difference dishes. 3 out of 6 was one of the rare dishes you can find in the U.S. Fast forward to after the meal, now I am going to sum it up the meal for you. The portion size was good, though it’s small but you can try other dishes too. so it’s not entirely bad that it’s small but the price for that size was a little excessive. I was really disappointed in hoi tod, it was only crispy on the outside but the inside is soggy, its almost like it was soaking in oil....however they got the sriracha sauce right though. Kong op woonsen was decent, nothing stands out for a plate that costs $17. Yum kai down was good. It tasted like how it supposed to be but again, $8 dollars for a couple of fried eggs was a little too much. The bill came out to $150 something for 3 people and for 6 dishes....think about it. That was way too expensive. 

We didn’t do much on the last day before the flight. All on all I’d probably not going to go back to Portland again. I think main reason was, it’s just not my type of vibe. Food was very expensive and it didn’t taste like how it supposed to for the most places I’ve eaten. It was very hard to drive around in the city...you would think LA or New York is the worst...nope this is by far the worst. People of Portland are not as diverse as other states I’ve been to...it made me a little uncomfortable. annnnd yep.

[neilmillerne]

Super Simple Batch Cooked Chicken For Lazy People

I’m lazy.

Given the choice between doing something and doing nothing, I’d probably choose nothing.

And yet, every day I have to find a way to feed myself. At the end of a busy day, that usually comes down to the simplest, fastest, laziest option.

Unfortunately, more often than not, that simple/fast/lazy option is also SUPER unhealthy and/or expensive: fast food, take-out, or delivery.

How can “home cooked healthy food” even compete with this convenience?

Great question.

If you’re somebody that’s more familiar with fast food than your oven, and like the IDEA of cooking for yourself but have no clue what you’re doing, fear not!

I’ve created this stupidly simple “Batch Cooked Chicken” video and resource for you.

This article and video assumes you know literally nothing about cooking.

Like, “never opened my oven” level of kitchen knowledge.

I considered calling this article “Batch Cooking for Idiots” but that’s not very nice. And I think you’re pretty smart.

So by the end of today’s article, you’re going to know EXACTLY how to prepare your food for an entire week’s worth of lunch and dinner!

Note: this is a simple chicken option with the laziest ingredients possible. If you know your way around the kitchen, consider checking out some of our more advanced recipes!

Why YOU NEED Batch Cooking in Your Life

Preparing dinner for a single meal takes 20 minutes. Preparing dinner for the week takes 30 minutes and provides you with food allllll week long.

Here’s why batch cooking RULES.

Right now, for each lunch and dinner, we have two choices:

“Should I prepare a healthy meal? Do I have the ingredients? How much time will this take? Ugh.”

“Should I hit a button on my phone or drive up to a window and grab food much faster?”

The unhealthy option is the lazier option, and after a long day of work or with screaming kids, it seems like the ONLY option.

However, if we can make ONE single decision at the start of the week to prepare food in a big batch, it eliminates every food decision we need to make the rest of the week. Not only that, but it makes the fast option the healthy option.

After batch cooking, we instead contemplate our meals like this:

“Should I hit a button on my phone and wait for food? Or should I get in my car and drive to a restaurant? Ugh, too much work.”

“Should I grab the food in the fridge and put it in the microwave for 90 seconds? Done.”

When you can make the lazier option the healthier one, you’re going to win 9 times out of 10.

So, perfect! Batch cooking is the best.

Of course, it’s much easier said than done.

You’re scared. You’ve never opened your oven. You once managed to set water on fire. And you have no clue what you’re doing.

I got you covered. As a batch-cooking convert, I’m gonna walk you through this step by step. I’m going to tell you exactly what to buy. What to set the oven at.

And give you permission to start.

It doesn’t matter if you screw this up. You can always order food if it doesn’t pan out (zing).

Cool? Cool.

Batch Cooking Basics: What You Need to Buy

Today, we’ll be preparing a week’s worth of chicken, Brussels sprouts (or broccoli) and sweet potatoes.

If you don’t like Brussels sprouts or sweet potatoes, I’ll give you an alternative.

WHAT YOU NEED TO BUY:

1 bag of frozen chicken tenderloins

Salt

Pepper

Garlic powder (unless you’re a vampire)

OR “Everything but the Bagel” seasoning (alternative to salt, pepper and garlic)

Olive Oil Spray.

2 cookie sheets

Tinfoil (to line the cookie sheet)

Parchment paper (chicken won’t stick to it, easy clean up)

Tupperware containers – or Pyrex

Pot holders (I use these) 

Depending on how much of a cooking noob you are, you might have some of this stuff already.

If you don’t, make the investment – everything listed above you can use for the next 12.37 years (approximately). You will never regret having these things in your kitchen.

Where I bought my stuff: Trader Joe’s.

Where you can buy your stuff: ANY grocery store.

Note that I didn’t even include things like knives and cutting boards, because you don’t need them to prepare the chicken above.

If you want to build out your kitchen arsenal, check out our Cooking 101 resource for exact things to buy!

How to Batch Cook Chicken

Watch the stupidly simple video I decided to film last night as I was batch cooking a few trays of chicken.

Here are the steps to remind you:

#1) Pre-heat your oven to 350.

#2) Line your cookie sheets with tinfoil and parchment paper.

#3) Grab your bag of chicken, put the chicken on the trays. Wash your hands with soap and water before handling your spices.

#4) Take your olive oil spray, and spray the topside of each chicken.

#5) Sprinkle each side with salt, pepper, and garlic powder (OR “Everything but the Bagel” seasoning).

#6) Flip them over (with tongs or your hands).

#7) Repeat with olive oil, salt, pepper, and garlic powder.

#8) Put them in the oven for 25 minutes.

#9) At 13 minutes, check your chicken to make sure things are going well!

#10) At 25 minutes, take your chicken out of the oven. Cut a piece in half, make sure it is uniformly white throughout. No pink gooey chicken!

Put some on a plate to eat, put the rest in a container for the rest of the week!

A serving size is 4 oz (if you have a cheap scale, it can REALLY help with portion sizes). If you want a visual, make a fist. That’s the size of a portion of chicken (it’s probably 2 – 2.5 tenderloin pieces).

What do I eat with the chicken?

Great question. This is just part one of our Batch Cooking series. And having a solid protein source for each meal is the most important part of a healthy nutrition strategy.

So what else goes on the plate?

Let’s chat about some side dish options.

UBER NOOB (ONLY MICROWAVE):

Frozen microwavable veggies. I like broccoli or cauliflower (with “Everything but the Bagel” seasoning on them). Each bag will have instructions on it. All you need to do is pour what you want to grub in a bowl. Microwave for like four to five minutes. Add salt and some type of oil (olive or avocado). Enjoy.

Fresh bags of microwavable veggies. Same idea as the frozen, but less time in microwave (two minutes). Again, read the instructions on the bag!

LEVEL 2 (OVEN): Check out our in-depth article on how to roast vegetables right here:

Brussels sprouts. Chop up your sprouts into quarters. Toss with olive oil, salt and pepper. Throw them on your cookie sheet with foil and parchment paper. Preheat at 400, and let your sprouts cook for 30 minutes. Give it a look halfway through tho.

Roasted broccoli or cauliflower. Again, let’s toss these bad boys in olive oil, salt and pepper. Throw them on your cookie sheet with foil into a preheated oven at 400 degrees. They’ll cook faster than the sprouts, so only cook for 15 minutes.

Asparagus. Cover your asparagus in olive oil, salt and pepper (I sense a theme). Throw them onto your foiled cookie sheet and place them into your preheated 400 degree oven. Let these cook for slightly more than 15 minutes, 18-20.

Don’t like veggies? We can change that.

What about some healthy carb options? Carbs aren’t evil. Just make sure they meet your goals. And your goal should be to eat under your caloric balance for the day if you’re focused on weight loss.

If you have the room in your calorie budget for the day, here are my favorite carbs to put on the plate next to my chicken and veggies:

Trader Joe’s microwave quinoa: Stab holes in the bag, put it in the microwave, and be done.

Sweet potato wedges: Cut up your sweet potato into small bits, then put them on a tray. Add olive oil, salt, and pepper. Heat the tray in your oven at 400 degrees for 45 mins.

Baby potatoes: Cut potatoes in half. Put them on a tray. Add olive oil, salt, and pepper (there’s that theme again), then stick your halved potatoes in the oven.

Spaghetti squash: Mmmmm!

That will cover your protein, a vegetable, and a carb. Simple.

Batch Cooking Tips and Tricks

This is not rocket science. Don’t make this into a bigger deal than it needs to be. You’re cooking some chicken, a potato, and some veggies. It’s easy.

Also, screwing up isn’t the end of the world. You can always order pizza or Chinese food if you totally botch it. Just live life in beta mode: ready, fire, aim. Try it out, and work on getting better.

Portion out your food into separate containers for grab-n-go lunches. This is how Staci, our head female coach, does batch cooking like this each week. Portion your food out into Tupperware to bring with you to work.

When in doubt, more chicken, more veggies, less sweet potato.

Try different spices. We have a whole big resource on how to do spices and flavors to dress up any healthy meal to also taste delicious.

What are your other newbie cooking questions?

I’d love to help more people become NOT afraid of cooking.

If you don’t know your way around your kitchen, has never turned on your oven, and are afraid of screwing up your meals, you’re not alone! That was me too, for a LONG time.

These days however, I can cook 6-10 different great meals. It allows me to reach my health and fitness goals without making me miserable.

YOUR MISSION: Cook this chicken, and post a picture of it in the comments below. Do it in the next week.

Good luck!

-Steve

PS: Just in case:

###

All photo sources can be found right here[1].

Footnotes    ( returns to text)

Photo: The Hunter, Chicken factory, kitchen utensils, brussel sprouts, Noodles, I’m back

https://ift.tt/2DETBGG

#Super Simple Batch Cooked Chicken For Lazy People

[joshuabradleyn]

Super Simple Batch Cooked Chicken For Lazy People

I’m lazy.

Given the choice between doing something and doing nothing, I’d probably choose nothing.

And yet, every day I have to find a way to feed myself. At the end of a busy day, that usually comes down to the simplest, fastest, laziest option.

Unfortunately, more often than not, that simple/fast/lazy option is also SUPER unhealthy and/or expensive: fast food, take-out, or delivery.

How can “home cooked healthy food” even compete with this convenience?

Great question.

If you’re somebody that’s more familiar with fast food than your oven, and like the IDEA of cooking for yourself but have no clue what you’re doing, fear not!

I’ve created this stupidly simple “Batch Cooked Chicken” video and resource for you.

This article and video assumes you know literally nothing about cooking.

Like, “never opened my oven” level of kitchen knowledge.

I considered calling this article “Batch Cooking for Idiots” but that’s not very nice. And I think you’re pretty smart.

So by the end of today’s article, you’re going to know EXACTLY how to prepare your food for an entire week’s worth of lunch and dinner!

Note: this is a simple chicken option with the laziest ingredients possible. If you know your way around the kitchen, consider checking out some of our more advanced recipes!

Why YOU NEED Batch Cooking in Your Life

Preparing dinner for a single meal takes 20 minutes. Preparing dinner for the week takes 30 minutes and provides you with food allllll week long.

Here’s why batch cooking RULES.

Right now, for each lunch and dinner, we have two choices:

“Should I prepare a healthy meal? Do I have the ingredients? How much time will this take? Ugh.”

“Should I hit a button on my phone or drive up to a window and grab food much faster?”

The unhealthy option is the lazier option, and after a long day of work or with screaming kids, it seems like the ONLY option.

However, if we can make ONE single decision at the start of the week to prepare food in a big batch, it eliminates every food decision we need to make the rest of the week. Not only that, but it makes the fast option the healthy option.

After batch cooking, we instead contemplate our meals like this:

“Should I hit a button on my phone and wait for food? Or should I get in my car and drive to a restaurant? Ugh, too much work.”

“Should I grab the food in the fridge and put it in the microwave for 90 seconds? Done.”

When you can make the lazier option the healthier one, you’re going to win 9 times out of 10.

So, perfect! Batch cooking is the best.

Of course, it’s much easier said than done.

You’re scared. You’ve never opened your oven. You once managed to set water on fire. And you have no clue what you’re doing.

I got you covered. As a batch-cooking convert, I’m gonna walk you through this step by step. I’m going to tell you exactly what to buy. What to set the oven at.

And give you permission to start.

It doesn’t matter if you screw this up. You can always order food if it doesn’t pan out (zing).

Cool? Cool.

Batch Cooking Basics: What You Need to Buy

Today, we’ll be preparing a week’s worth of chicken, Brussels sprouts (or broccoli) and sweet potatoes.

If you don’t like Brussels sprouts or sweet potatoes, I’ll give you an alternative.

WHAT YOU NEED TO BUY:

1 bag of frozen chicken tenderloins

Salt

Pepper

Garlic powder (unless you’re a vampire)

OR “Everything but the Bagel” seasoning (alternative to salt, pepper and garlic)

Olive Oil Spray.

2 cookie sheets

Tinfoil (to line the cookie sheet)

Parchment paper (chicken won’t stick to it, easy clean up)

Tupperware containers – or Pyrex

Pot holders (I use these) 

Depending on how much of a cooking noob you are, you might have some of this stuff already.

If you don’t, make the investment – everything listed above you can use for the next 12.37 years (approximately). You will never regret having these things in your kitchen.

Where I bought my stuff: Trader Joe’s.

Where you can buy your stuff: ANY grocery store.

Note that I didn’t even include things like knives and cutting boards, because you don’t need them to prepare the chicken above.

If you want to build out your kitchen arsenal, check out our Cooking 101 resource for exact things to buy!

How to Batch Cook Chicken

Watch the stupidly simple video I decided to film last night as I was batch cooking a few trays of chicken.

Here are the steps to remind you:

#1) Pre-heat your oven to 350.

#2) Line your cookie sheets with tinfoil and parchment paper.

#3) Grab your bag of chicken, put the chicken on the trays. Wash your hands with soap and water before handling your spices.

#4) Take your olive oil spray, and spray the topside of each chicken.

#5) Sprinkle each side with salt, pepper, and garlic powder (OR “Everything but the Bagel” seasoning).

#6) Flip them over (with tongs or your hands).

#7) Repeat with olive oil, salt, pepper, and garlic powder.

#8) Put them in the oven for 25 minutes.

#9) At 13 minutes, check your chicken to make sure things are going well!

#10) At 25 minutes, take your chicken out of the oven. Cut a piece in half, make sure it is uniformly white throughout. No pink gooey chicken!

Put some on a plate to eat, put the rest in a container for the rest of the week!

A serving size is 4 oz (if you have a cheap scale, it can REALLY help with portion sizes). If you want a visual, make a fist. That’s the size of a portion of chicken (it’s probably 2 – 2.5 tenderloin pieces).

What do I eat with the chicken?

Great question. This is just part one of our Batch Cooking series. And having a solid protein source for each meal is the most important part of a healthy nutrition strategy.

So what else goes on the plate?

Let’s chat about some side dish options.

UBER NOOB (ONLY MICROWAVE):

Frozen microwavable veggies. I like broccoli or cauliflower (with “Everything but the Bagel” seasoning on them). Each bag will have instructions on it. All you need to do is pour what you want to grub in a bowl. Microwave for like four to five minutes. Add salt and some type of oil (olive or avocado). Enjoy.

Fresh bags of microwavable veggies. Same idea as the frozen, but less time in microwave (two minutes). Again, read the instructions on the bag!

LEVEL 2 (OVEN): Check out our in-depth article on how to roast vegetables right here:

Brussels sprouts. Chop up your sprouts into quarters. Toss with olive oil, salt and pepper. Throw them on your cookie sheet with foil and parchment paper. Preheat at 400, and let your sprouts cook for 30 minutes. Give it a look halfway through tho.

Roasted broccoli or cauliflower. Again, let’s toss these bad boys in olive oil, salt and pepper. Throw them on your cookie sheet with foil into a preheated oven at 400 degrees. They’ll cook faster than the sprouts, so only cook for 15 minutes.

Asparagus. Cover your asparagus in olive oil, salt and pepper (I sense a theme). Throw them onto your foiled cookie sheet and place them into your preheated 400 degree oven. Let these cook for slightly more than 15 minutes, 18-20.

Don’t like veggies? We can change that.

What about some healthy carb options? Carbs aren’t evil. Just make sure they meet your goals. And your goal should be to eat under your caloric balance for the day if you’re focused on weight loss.

If you have the room in your calorie budget for the day, here are my favorite carbs to put on the plate next to my chicken and veggies:

Trader Joe’s microwave quinoa: Stab holes in the bag, put it in the microwave, and be done.

Sweet potato wedges: Cut up your sweet potato into small bits, then put them on a tray. Add olive oil, salt, and pepper. Heat the tray in your oven at 400 degrees for 45 mins.

Baby potatoes: Cut potatoes in half. Put them on a tray. Add olive oil, salt, and pepper (there’s that theme again), then stick your halved potatoes in the oven.

Spaghetti squash: Mmmmm!

That will cover your protein, a vegetable, and a carb. Simple.

Batch Cooking Tips and Tricks

This is not rocket science. Don’t make this into a bigger deal than it needs to be. You’re cooking some chicken, a potato, and some veggies. It’s easy.

Also, screwing up isn’t the end of the world. You can always order pizza or Chinese food if you totally botch it. Just live life in beta mode: ready, fire, aim. Try it out, and work on getting better.

Portion out your food into separate containers for grab-n-go lunches. This is how Staci, our head female coach, does batch cooking like this each week. Portion your food out into Tupperware to bring with you to work.

When in doubt, more chicken, more veggies, less sweet potato.

Try different spices. We have a whole big resource on how to do spices and flavors to dress up any healthy meal to also taste delicious.

What are your other newbie cooking questions?

I’d love to help more people become NOT afraid of cooking.

If you don’t know your way around your kitchen, has never turned on your oven, and are afraid of screwing up your meals, you’re not alone! That was me too, for a LONG time.

These days however, I can cook 6-10 different great meals. It allows me to reach my health and fitness goals without making me miserable.

YOUR MISSION: Cook this chicken, and post a picture of it in the comments below. Do it in the next week.

Good luck!

-Steve

PS: Just in case:

###

All photo sources can be found right here[1].

Footnotes    ( returns to text)

Photo: The Hunter, Chicken factory, kitchen utensils, brussel sprouts, Noodles, I’m back

https://ift.tt/2DETBGG

#Super Simple Batch Cooked Chicken For Lazy People

[ruthellisneda]

Super Simple Batch Cooked Chicken For Lazy People

I’m lazy.

Given the choice between doing something and doing nothing, I’d probably choose nothing.

And yet, every day I have to find a way to feed myself. At the end of a busy day, that usually comes down to the simplest, fastest, laziest option.

Unfortunately, more often than not, that simple/fast/lazy option is also SUPER unhealthy and/or expensive: fast food, take-out, or delivery.

How can “home cooked healthy food” even compete with this convenience?

Great question.

If you’re somebody that’s more familiar with fast food than your oven, and like the IDEA of cooking for yourself but have no clue what you’re doing, fear not!

I’ve created this stupidly simple “Batch Cooked Chicken” video and resource for you.

This article and video assumes you know literally nothing about cooking.

Like, “never opened my oven” level of kitchen knowledge.

I considered calling this article “Batch Cooking for Idiots” but that’s not very nice. And I think you’re pretty smart.

So by the end of today’s article, you’re going to know EXACTLY how to prepare your food for an entire week’s worth of lunch and dinner!

Note: this is a simple chicken option with the laziest ingredients possible. If you know your way around the kitchen, consider checking out some of our more advanced recipes!

Why YOU NEED Batch Cooking in Your Life

Preparing dinner for a single meal takes 20 minutes. Preparing dinner for the week takes 30 minutes and provides you with food allllll week long.

Here’s why batch cooking RULES.

Right now, for each lunch and dinner, we have two choices:

“Should I prepare a healthy meal? Do I have the ingredients? How much time will this take? Ugh.”

“Should I hit a button on my phone or drive up to a window and grab food much faster?”

The unhealthy option is the lazier option, and after a long day of work or with screaming kids, it seems like the ONLY option.

However, if we can make ONE single decision at the start of the week to prepare food in a big batch, it eliminates every food decision we need to make the rest of the week. Not only that, but it makes the fast option the healthy option.

After batch cooking, we instead contemplate our meals like this:

“Should I hit a button on my phone and wait for food? Or should I get in my car and drive to a restaurant? Ugh, too much work.”

“Should I grab the food in the fridge and put it in the microwave for 90 seconds? Done.”

When you can make the lazier option the healthier one, you’re going to win 9 times out of 10.

So, perfect! Batch cooking is the best.

Of course, it’s much easier said than done.

You’re scared. You’ve never opened your oven. You once managed to set water on fire. And you have no clue what you’re doing.

I got you covered. As a batch-cooking convert, I’m gonna walk you through this step by step. I’m going to tell you exactly what to buy. What to set the oven at.

And give you permission to start.

It doesn’t matter if you screw this up. You can always order food if it doesn’t pan out (zing).

Cool? Cool.

Batch Cooking Basics: What You Need to Buy

Today, we’ll be preparing a week’s worth of chicken, Brussels sprouts (or broccoli) and sweet potatoes.

If you don’t like Brussels sprouts or sweet potatoes, I’ll give you an alternative.

WHAT YOU NEED TO BUY:

1 bag of frozen chicken tenderloins

Salt

Pepper

Garlic powder (unless you’re a vampire)

OR “Everything but the Bagel” seasoning (alternative to salt, pepper and garlic)

Olive Oil Spray.

2 cookie sheets

Tinfoil (to line the cookie sheet)

Parchment paper (chicken won’t stick to it, easy clean up)

Tupperware containers – or Pyrex

Pot holders (I use these) 

Depending on how much of a cooking noob you are, you might have some of this stuff already.

If you don’t, make the investment – everything listed above you can use for the next 12.37 years (approximately). You will never regret having these things in your kitchen.

Where I bought my stuff: Trader Joe’s.

Where you can buy your stuff: ANY grocery store.

Note that I didn’t even include things like knives and cutting boards, because you don’t need them to prepare the chicken above.

If you want to build out your kitchen arsenal, check out our Cooking 101 resource for exact things to buy!

How to Batch Cook Chicken

Watch the stupidly simple video I decided to film last night as I was batch cooking a few trays of chicken.

Here are the steps to remind you:

#1) Pre-heat your oven to 350.

#2) Line your cookie sheets with tinfoil and parchment paper.

#3) Grab your bag of chicken, put the chicken on the trays. Wash your hands with soap and water before handling your spices.

#4) Take your olive oil spray, and spray the topside of each chicken.

#5) Sprinkle each side with salt, pepper, and garlic powder (OR “Everything but the Bagel” seasoning).

#6) Flip them over (with tongs or your hands).

#7) Repeat with olive oil, salt, pepper, and garlic powder.

#8) Put them in the oven for 25 minutes.

#9) At 13 minutes, check your chicken to make sure things are going well!

#10) At 25 minutes, take your chicken out of the oven. Cut a piece in half, make sure it is uniformly white throughout. No pink gooey chicken!

Put some on a plate to eat, put the rest in a container for the rest of the week!

A serving size is 4 oz (if you have a cheap scale, it can REALLY help with portion sizes). If you want a visual, make a fist. That’s the size of a portion of chicken (it’s probably 2 – 2.5 tenderloin pieces).

What do I eat with the chicken?

Great question. This is just part one of our Batch Cooking series. And having a solid protein source for each meal is the most important part of a healthy nutrition strategy.

So what else goes on the plate?

Let’s chat about some side dish options.

UBER NOOB (ONLY MICROWAVE):

Frozen microwavable veggies. I like broccoli or cauliflower (with “Everything but the Bagel” seasoning on them). Each bag will have instructions on it. All you need to do is pour what you want to grub in a bowl. Microwave for like four to five minutes. Add salt and some type of oil (olive or avocado). Enjoy.

Fresh bags of microwavable veggies. Same idea as the frozen, but less time in microwave (two minutes). Again, read the instructions on the bag!

LEVEL 2 (OVEN): Check out our in-depth article on how to roast vegetables right here:

Brussels sprouts. Chop up your sprouts into quarters. Toss with olive oil, salt and pepper. Throw them on your cookie sheet with foil and parchment paper. Preheat at 400, and let your sprouts cook for 30 minutes. Give it a look halfway through tho.

Roasted broccoli or cauliflower. Again, let’s toss these bad boys in olive oil, salt and pepper. Throw them on your cookie sheet with foil into a preheated oven at 400 degrees. They’ll cook faster than the sprouts, so only cook for 15 minutes.

Asparagus. Cover your asparagus in olive oil, salt and pepper (I sense a theme). Throw them onto your foiled cookie sheet and place them into your preheated 400 degree oven. Let these cook for slightly more than 15 minutes, 18-20.

Don’t like veggies? We can change that.

What about some healthy carb options? Carbs aren’t evil. Just make sure they meet your goals. And your goal should be to eat under your caloric balance for the day if you’re focused on weight loss.

If you have the room in your calorie budget for the day, here are my favorite carbs to put on the plate next to my chicken and veggies:

Trader Joe’s microwave quinoa: Stab holes in the bag, put it in the microwave, and be done.

Sweet potato wedges: Cut up your sweet potato into small bits, then put them on a tray. Add olive oil, salt, and pepper. Heat the tray in your oven at 400 degrees for 45 mins.

Baby potatoes: Cut potatoes in half. Put them on a tray. Add olive oil, salt, and pepper (there’s that theme again), then stick your halved potatoes in the oven.

Spaghetti squash: Mmmmm!

That will cover your protein, a vegetable, and a carb. Simple.

Batch Cooking Tips and Tricks

This is not rocket science. Don’t make this into a bigger deal than it needs to be. You’re cooking some chicken, a potato, and some veggies. It’s easy.

Also, screwing up isn’t the end of the world. You can always order pizza or Chinese food if you totally botch it. Just live life in beta mode: ready, fire, aim. Try it out, and work on getting better.

Portion out your food into separate containers for grab-n-go lunches. This is how Staci, our head female coach, does batch cooking like this each week. Portion your food out into Tupperware to bring with you to work.

When in doubt, more chicken, more veggies, less sweet potato.

Try different spices. We have a whole big resource on how to do spices and flavors to dress up any healthy meal to also taste delicious.

What are your other newbie cooking questions?

I’d love to help more people become NOT afraid of cooking.

If you don’t know your way around your kitchen, has never turned on your oven, and are afraid of screwing up your meals, you’re not alone! That was me too, for a LONG time.

These days however, I can cook 6-10 different great meals. It allows me to reach my health and fitness goals without making me miserable.

YOUR MISSION: Cook this chicken, and post a picture of it in the comments below. Do it in the next week.

Good luck!

-Steve

PS: Just in case:

###

All photo sources can be found right here[1].

Footnotes    ( returns to text)

Photo: The Hunter, Chicken factory, kitchen utensils, brussel sprouts, Noodles, I’m back

https://ift.tt/2DETBGG

#Super Simple Batch Cooked Chicken For Lazy People

[almajonesnjna]

Super Simple Batch Cooked Chicken For Lazy People

I’m lazy.

Given the choice between doing something and doing nothing, I’d probably choose nothing.

And yet, every day I have to find a way to feed myself. At the end of a busy day, that usually comes down to the simplest, fastest, laziest option.

Unfortunately, more often than not, that simple/fast/lazy option is also SUPER unhealthy and/or expensive: fast food, take-out, or delivery.

How can “home cooked healthy food” even compete with this convenience?

Great question.

If you’re somebody that’s more familiar with fast food than your oven, and like the IDEA of cooking for yourself but have no clue what you’re doing, fear not!

I’ve created this stupidly simple “Batch Cooked Chicken” video and resource for you.

This article and video assumes you know literally nothing about cooking.

Like, “never opened my oven” level of kitchen knowledge.

I considered calling this article “Batch Cooking for Idiots” but that’s not very nice. And I think you’re pretty smart.

So by the end of today’s article, you’re going to know EXACTLY how to prepare your food for an entire week’s worth of lunch and dinner!

Note: this is a simple chicken option with the laziest ingredients possible. If you know your way around the kitchen, consider checking out some of our more advanced recipes!

Why YOU NEED Batch Cooking in Your Life

Preparing dinner for a single meal takes 20 minutes. Preparing dinner for the week takes 30 minutes and provides you with food allllll week long.

Here’s why batch cooking RULES.

Right now, for each lunch and dinner, we have two choices:

“Should I prepare a healthy meal? Do I have the ingredients? How much time will this take? Ugh.”

“Should I hit a button on my phone or drive up to a window and grab food much faster?”

The unhealthy option is the lazier option, and after a long day of work or with screaming kids, it seems like the ONLY option.

However, if we can make ONE single decision at the start of the week to prepare food in a big batch, it eliminates every food decision we need to make the rest of the week. Not only that, but it makes the fast option the healthy option.

After batch cooking, we instead contemplate our meals like this:

“Should I hit a button on my phone and wait for food? Or should I get in my car and drive to a restaurant? Ugh, too much work.”

“Should I grab the food in the fridge and put it in the microwave for 90 seconds? Done.”

When you can make the lazier option the healthier one, you’re going to win 9 times out of 10.

So, perfect! Batch cooking is the best.

Of course, it’s much easier said than done.

You’re scared. You’ve never opened your oven. You once managed to set water on fire. And you have no clue what you’re doing.

I got you covered. As a batch-cooking convert, I’m gonna walk you through this step by step. I’m going to tell you exactly what to buy. What to set the oven at.

And give you permission to start.

It doesn’t matter if you screw this up. You can always order food if it doesn’t pan out (zing).

Cool? Cool.

Batch Cooking Basics: What You Need to Buy

Today, we’ll be preparing a week’s worth of chicken, Brussels sprouts (or broccoli) and sweet potatoes.

If you don’t like Brussels sprouts or sweet potatoes, I’ll give you an alternative.

WHAT YOU NEED TO BUY:

1 bag of frozen chicken tenderloins

Salt

Pepper

Garlic powder (unless you’re a vampire)

OR “Everything but the Bagel” seasoning (alternative to salt, pepper and garlic)

Olive Oil Spray.

2 cookie sheets

Tinfoil (to line the cookie sheet)

Parchment paper (chicken won’t stick to it, easy clean up)

Tupperware containers – or Pyrex

Pot holders (I use these) 

Depending on how much of a cooking noob you are, you might have some of this stuff already.

If you don’t, make the investment – everything listed above you can use for the next 12.37 years (approximately). You will never regret having these things in your kitchen.

Where I bought my stuff: Trader Joe’s.

Where you can buy your stuff: ANY grocery store.

Note that I didn’t even include things like knives and cutting boards, because you don’t need them to prepare the chicken above.

If you want to build out your kitchen arsenal, check out our Cooking 101 resource for exact things to buy!

How to Batch Cook Chicken

Watch the stupidly simple video I decided to film last night as I was batch cooking a few trays of chicken.

Here are the steps to remind you:

#1) Pre-heat your oven to 350.

#2) Line your cookie sheets with tinfoil and parchment paper.

#3) Grab your bag of chicken, put the chicken on the trays. Wash your hands with soap and water before handling your spices.

#4) Take your olive oil spray, and spray the topside of each chicken.

#5) Sprinkle each side with salt, pepper, and garlic powder (OR “Everything but the Bagel” seasoning).

#6) Flip them over (with tongs or your hands).

#7) Repeat with olive oil, salt, pepper, and garlic powder.

#8) Put them in the oven for 25 minutes.

#9) At 13 minutes, check your chicken to make sure things are going well!

#10) At 25 minutes, take your chicken out of the oven. Cut a piece in half, make sure it is uniformly white throughout. No pink gooey chicken!

Put some on a plate to eat, put the rest in a container for the rest of the week!

A serving size is 4 oz (if you have a cheap scale, it can REALLY help with portion sizes). If you want a visual, make a fist. That’s the size of a portion of chicken (it’s probably 2 – 2.5 tenderloin pieces).

What do I eat with the chicken?

Great question. This is just part one of our Batch Cooking series. And having a solid protein source for each meal is the most important part of a healthy nutrition strategy.

So what else goes on the plate?

Let’s chat about some side dish options.

UBER NOOB (ONLY MICROWAVE):

Frozen microwavable veggies. I like broccoli or cauliflower (with “Everything but the Bagel” seasoning on them). Each bag will have instructions on it. All you need to do is pour what you want to grub in a bowl. Microwave for like four to five minutes. Add salt and some type of oil (olive or avocado). Enjoy.

Fresh bags of microwavable veggies. Same idea as the frozen, but less time in microwave (two minutes). Again, read the instructions on the bag!

LEVEL 2 (OVEN): Check out our in-depth article on how to roast vegetables right here:

Brussels sprouts. Chop up your sprouts into quarters. Toss with olive oil, salt and pepper. Throw them on your cookie sheet with foil and parchment paper. Preheat at 400, and let your sprouts cook for 30 minutes. Give it a look halfway through tho.

Roasted broccoli or cauliflower. Again, let’s toss these bad boys in olive oil, salt and pepper. Throw them on your cookie sheet with foil into a preheated oven at 400 degrees. They’ll cook faster than the sprouts, so only cook for 15 minutes.

Asparagus. Cover your asparagus in olive oil, salt and pepper (I sense a theme). Throw them onto your foiled cookie sheet and place them into your preheated 400 degree oven. Let these cook for slightly more than 15 minutes, 18-20.

Don’t like veggies? We can change that.

What about some healthy carb options? Carbs aren’t evil. Just make sure they meet your goals. And your goal should be to eat under your caloric balance for the day if you’re focused on weight loss.

If you have the room in your calorie budget for the day, here are my favorite carbs to put on the plate next to my chicken and veggies:

Trader Joe’s microwave quinoa: Stab holes in the bag, put it in the microwave, and be done.

Sweet potato wedges: Cut up your sweet potato into small bits, then put them on a tray. Add olive oil, salt, and pepper. Heat the tray in your oven at 400 degrees for 45 mins.

Baby potatoes: Cut potatoes in half. Put them on a tray. Add olive oil, salt, and pepper (there’s that theme again), then stick your halved potatoes in the oven.

Spaghetti squash: Mmmmm!

That will cover your protein, a vegetable, and a carb. Simple.

Batch Cooking Tips and Tricks

This is not rocket science. Don’t make this into a bigger deal than it needs to be. You’re cooking some chicken, a potato, and some veggies. It’s easy.

Also, screwing up isn’t the end of the world. You can always order pizza or Chinese food if you totally botch it. Just live life in beta mode: ready, fire, aim. Try it out, and work on getting better.

Portion out your food into separate containers for grab-n-go lunches. This is how Staci, our head female coach, does batch cooking like this each week. Portion your food out into Tupperware to bring with you to work.

When in doubt, more chicken, more veggies, less sweet potato.

Try different spices. We have a whole big resource on how to do spices and flavors to dress up any healthy meal to also taste delicious.

What are your other newbie cooking questions?

I’d love to help more people become NOT afraid of cooking.

If you don’t know your way around your kitchen, has never turned on your oven, and are afraid of screwing up your meals, you’re not alone! That was me too, for a LONG time.

These days however, I can cook 6-10 different great meals. It allows me to reach my health and fitness goals without making me miserable.

YOUR MISSION: Cook this chicken, and post a picture of it in the comments below. Do it in the next week.

Good luck!

-Steve

PS: Just in case:

###

All photo sources can be found right here[1].

Footnotes    ( returns to text)

Photo: The Hunter, Chicken factory, kitchen utensils, brussel sprouts, Noodles, I’m back

https://ift.tt/2DETBGG

#Super Simple Batch Cooked Chicken For Lazy People

[albertcaldwellne]

Super Simple Batch Cooked Chicken For Lazy People

I’m lazy.

Given the choice between doing something and doing nothing, I’d probably choose nothing.

And yet, every day I have to find a way to feed myself. At the end of a busy day, that usually comes down to the simplest, fastest, laziest option.

Unfortunately, more often than not, that simple/fast/lazy option is also SUPER unhealthy and/or expensive: fast food, take-out, or delivery.

How can “home cooked healthy food” even compete with this convenience?

Great question.

If you’re somebody that’s more familiar with fast food than your oven, and like the IDEA of cooking for yourself but have no clue what you’re doing, fear not!

I’ve created this stupidly simple “Batch Cooked Chicken” video and resource for you.

This article and video assumes you know literally nothing about cooking.

Like, “never opened my oven” level of kitchen knowledge.

I considered calling this article “Batch Cooking for Idiots” but that’s not very nice. And I think you’re pretty smart.

So by the end of today’s article, you’re going to know EXACTLY how to prepare your food for an entire week’s worth of lunch and dinner!

Note: this is a simple chicken option with the laziest ingredients possible. If you know your way around the kitchen, consider checking out some of our more advanced recipes!

Why YOU NEED Batch Cooking in Your Life

Preparing dinner for a single meal takes 20 minutes. Preparing dinner for the week takes 30 minutes and provides you with food allllll week long.

Here’s why batch cooking RULES.

Right now, for each lunch and dinner, we have two choices:

“Should I prepare a healthy meal? Do I have the ingredients? How much time will this take? Ugh.”

“Should I hit a button on my phone or drive up to a window and grab food much faster?”

The unhealthy option is the lazier option, and after a long day of work or with screaming kids, it seems like the ONLY option.

However, if we can make ONE single decision at the start of the week to prepare food in a big batch, it eliminates every food decision we need to make the rest of the week. Not only that, but it makes the fast option the healthy option.

After batch cooking, we instead contemplate our meals like this:

“Should I hit a button on my phone and wait for food? Or should I get in my car and drive to a restaurant? Ugh, too much work.”

“Should I grab the food in the fridge and put it in the microwave for 90 seconds? Done.”

When you can make the lazier option the healthier one, you’re going to win 9 times out of 10.

So, perfect! Batch cooking is the best.

Of course, it’s much easier said than done.

You’re scared. You’ve never opened your oven. You once managed to set water on fire. And you have no clue what you’re doing.

I got you covered. As a batch-cooking convert, I’m gonna walk you through this step by step. I’m going to tell you exactly what to buy. What to set the oven at.

And give you permission to start.

It doesn’t matter if you screw this up. You can always order food if it doesn’t pan out (zing).

Cool? Cool.

Batch Cooking Basics: What You Need to Buy

Today, we’ll be preparing a week’s worth of chicken, Brussels sprouts (or broccoli) and sweet potatoes.

If you don’t like Brussels sprouts or sweet potatoes, I’ll give you an alternative.

WHAT YOU NEED TO BUY:

1 bag of frozen chicken tenderloins

Salt

Pepper

Garlic powder (unless you’re a vampire)

OR “Everything but the Bagel” seasoning (alternative to salt, pepper and garlic)

Olive Oil Spray.

2 cookie sheets

Tinfoil (to line the cookie sheet)

Parchment paper (chicken won’t stick to it, easy clean up)

Tupperware containers – or Pyrex

Pot holders (I use these) 

Depending on how much of a cooking noob you are, you might have some of this stuff already.

If you don’t, make the investment – everything listed above you can use for the next 12.37 years (approximately). You will never regret having these things in your kitchen.

Where I bought my stuff: Trader Joe’s.

Where you can buy your stuff: ANY grocery store.

Note that I didn’t even include things like knives and cutting boards, because you don’t need them to prepare the chicken above.

If you want to build out your kitchen arsenal, check out our Cooking 101 resource for exact things to buy!

How to Batch Cook Chicken

Watch the stupidly simple video I decided to film last night as I was batch cooking a few trays of chicken.

Here are the steps to remind you:

#1) Pre-heat your oven to 350.

#2) Line your cookie sheets with tinfoil and parchment paper.

#3) Grab your bag of chicken, put the chicken on the trays. Wash your hands with soap and water before handling your spices.

#4) Take your olive oil spray, and spray the topside of each chicken.

#5) Sprinkle each side with salt, pepper, and garlic powder (OR “Everything but the Bagel” seasoning).

#6) Flip them over (with tongs or your hands).

#7) Repeat with olive oil, salt, pepper, and garlic powder.

#8) Put them in the oven for 25 minutes.

#9) At 13 minutes, check your chicken to make sure things are going well!

#10) At 25 minutes, take your chicken out of the oven. Cut a piece in half, make sure it is uniformly white throughout. No pink gooey chicken!

Put some on a plate to eat, put the rest in a container for the rest of the week!

A serving size is 4 oz (if you have a cheap scale, it can REALLY help with portion sizes). If you want a visual, make a fist. That’s the size of a portion of chicken (it’s probably 2 – 2.5 tenderloin pieces).

What do I eat with the chicken?

Great question. This is just part one of our Batch Cooking series. And having a solid protein source for each meal is the most important part of a healthy nutrition strategy.

So what else goes on the plate?

Let’s chat about some side dish options.

UBER NOOB (ONLY MICROWAVE):

Frozen microwavable veggies. I like broccoli or cauliflower (with “Everything but the Bagel” seasoning on them). Each bag will have instructions on it. All you need to do is pour what you want to grub in a bowl. Microwave for like four to five minutes. Add salt and some type of oil (olive or avocado). Enjoy.

Fresh bags of microwavable veggies. Same idea as the frozen, but less time in microwave (two minutes). Again, read the instructions on the bag!

LEVEL 2 (OVEN): Check out our in-depth article on how to roast vegetables right here:

Brussels sprouts. Chop up your sprouts into quarters. Toss with olive oil, salt and pepper. Throw them on your cookie sheet with foil and parchment paper. Preheat at 400, and let your sprouts cook for 30 minutes. Give it a look halfway through tho.

Roasted broccoli or cauliflower. Again, let’s toss these bad boys in olive oil, salt and pepper. Throw them on your cookie sheet with foil into a preheated oven at 400 degrees. They’ll cook faster than the sprouts, so only cook for 15 minutes.

Asparagus. Cover your asparagus in olive oil, salt and pepper (I sense a theme). Throw them onto your foiled cookie sheet and place them into your preheated 400 degree oven. Let these cook for slightly more than 15 minutes, 18-20.

Don’t like veggies? We can change that.

What about some healthy carb options? Carbs aren’t evil. Just make sure they meet your goals. And your goal should be to eat under your caloric balance for the day if you’re focused on weight loss.

If you have the room in your calorie budget for the day, here are my favorite carbs to put on the plate next to my chicken and veggies:

Trader Joe’s microwave quinoa: Stab holes in the bag, put it in the microwave, and be done.

Sweet potato wedges: Cut up your sweet potato into small bits, then put them on a tray. Add olive oil, salt, and pepper. Heat the tray in your oven at 400 degrees for 45 mins.

Baby potatoes: Cut potatoes in half. Put them on a tray. Add olive oil, salt, and pepper (there’s that theme again), then stick your halved potatoes in the oven.

Spaghetti squash: Mmmmm!

That will cover your protein, a vegetable, and a carb. Simple.

Batch Cooking Tips and Tricks

This is not rocket science. Don’t make this into a bigger deal than it needs to be. You’re cooking some chicken, a potato, and some veggies. It’s easy.

Also, screwing up isn’t the end of the world. You can always order pizza or Chinese food if you totally botch it. Just live life in beta mode: ready, fire, aim. Try it out, and work on getting better.

Portion out your food into separate containers for grab-n-go lunches. This is how Staci, our head female coach, does batch cooking like this each week. Portion your food out into Tupperware to bring with you to work.

When in doubt, more chicken, more veggies, less sweet potato.

Try different spices. We have a whole big resource on how to do spices and flavors to dress up any healthy meal to also taste delicious.

What are your other newbie cooking questions?

I’d love to help more people become NOT afraid of cooking.

If you don’t know your way around your kitchen, has never turned on your oven, and are afraid of screwing up your meals, you’re not alone! That was me too, for a LONG time.

These days however, I can cook 6-10 different great meals. It allows me to reach my health and fitness goals without making me miserable.

YOUR MISSION: Cook this chicken, and post a picture of it in the comments below. Do it in the next week.

Good luck!

-Steve

PS: Just in case:

###

All photo sources can be found right here[1].

Footnotes    ( returns to text)

Photo: The Hunter, Chicken factory, kitchen utensils, brussel sprouts, Noodles, I’m back

https://ift.tt/2DETBGG

#Super Simple Batch Cooked Chicken For Lazy People

[johnclapperne]

Super Simple Batch Cooked Chicken For Lazy People

I’m lazy.

Given the choice between doing something and doing nothing, I’d probably choose nothing.

And yet, every day I have to find a way to feed myself. At the end of a busy day, that usually comes down to the simplest, fastest, laziest option.

Unfortunately, more often than not, that simple/fast/lazy option is also SUPER unhealthy and/or expensive: fast food, take-out, or delivery.

How can “home cooked healthy food” even compete with this convenience?

Great question.

If you’re somebody that’s more familiar with fast food than your oven, and like the IDEA of cooking for yourself but have no clue what you’re doing, fear not!

I’ve created this stupidly simple “Batch Cooked Chicken” video and resource for you.

This article and video assumes you know literally nothing about cooking.

Like, “never opened my oven” level of kitchen knowledge.

I considered calling this article “Batch Cooking for Idiots” but that’s not very nice. And I think you’re pretty smart.

So by the end of today’s article, you’re going to know EXACTLY how to prepare your food for an entire week’s worth of lunch and dinner!

Note: this is a simple chicken option with the laziest ingredients possible. If you know your way around the kitchen, consider checking out some of our more advanced recipes!

Why YOU NEED Batch Cooking in Your Life

Preparing dinner for a single meal takes 20 minutes. Preparing dinner for the week takes 30 minutes and provides you with food allllll week long.

Here’s why batch cooking RULES.

Right now, for each lunch and dinner, we have two choices:

“Should I prepare a healthy meal? Do I have the ingredients? How much time will this take? Ugh.”

“Should I hit a button on my phone or drive up to a window and grab food much faster?”

The unhealthy option is the lazier option, and after a long day of work or with screaming kids, it seems like the ONLY option.

However, if we can make ONE single decision at the start of the week to prepare food in a big batch, it eliminates every food decision we need to make the rest of the week. Not only that, but it makes the fast option the healthy option.

After batch cooking, we instead contemplate our meals like this:

“Should I hit a button on my phone and wait for food? Or should I get in my car and drive to a restaurant? Ugh, too much work.”

“Should I grab the food in the fridge and put it in the microwave for 90 seconds? Done.”

When you can make the lazier option the healthier one, you’re going to win 9 times out of 10.

So, perfect! Batch cooking is the best.

Of course, it’s much easier said than done.

You’re scared. You’ve never opened your oven. You once managed to set water on fire. And you have no clue what you’re doing.

I got you covered. As a batch-cooking convert, I’m gonna walk you through this step by step. I’m going to tell you exactly what to buy. What to set the oven at.

And give you permission to start.

It doesn’t matter if you screw this up. You can always order food if it doesn’t pan out (zing).

Cool? Cool.

Batch Cooking Basics: What You Need to Buy

Today, we’ll be preparing a week’s worth of chicken, Brussels sprouts (or broccoli) and sweet potatoes.

If you don’t like Brussels sprouts or sweet potatoes, I’ll give you an alternative.

WHAT YOU NEED TO BUY:

1 bag of frozen chicken tenderloins

Salt

Pepper

Garlic powder (unless you’re a vampire)

OR “Everything but the Bagel” seasoning (alternative to salt, pepper and garlic)

Olive Oil Spray.

2 cookie sheets

Tinfoil (to line the cookie sheet)

Parchment paper (chicken won’t stick to it, easy clean up)

Tupperware containers – or Pyrex

Pot holders (I use these) 

Depending on how much of a cooking noob you are, you might have some of this stuff already.

If you don’t, make the investment – everything listed above you can use for the next 12.37 years (approximately). You will never regret having these things in your kitchen.

Where I bought my stuff: Trader Joe’s.

Where you can buy your stuff: ANY grocery store.

Note that I didn’t even include things like knives and cutting boards, because you don’t need them to prepare the chicken above.

If you want to build out your kitchen arsenal, check out our Cooking 101 resource for exact things to buy!

How to Batch Cook Chicken

Watch the stupidly simple video I decided to film last night as I was batch cooking a few trays of chicken.

Here are the steps to remind you:

#1) Pre-heat your oven to 350.

#2) Line your cookie sheets with tinfoil and parchment paper.

#3) Grab your bag of chicken, put the chicken on the trays. Wash your hands with soap and water before handling your spices.

#4) Take your olive oil spray, and spray the topside of each chicken.

#5) Sprinkle each side with salt, pepper, and garlic powder (OR “Everything but the Bagel” seasoning).

#6) Flip them over (with tongs or your hands).

#7) Repeat with olive oil, salt, pepper, and garlic powder.

#8) Put them in the oven for 25 minutes.

#9) At 13 minutes, check your chicken to make sure things are going well!

#10) At 25 minutes, take your chicken out of the oven. Cut a piece in half, make sure it is uniformly white throughout. No pink gooey chicken!

Put some on a plate to eat, put the rest in a container for the rest of the week!

A serving size is 4 oz (if you have a cheap scale, it can REALLY help with portion sizes). If you want a visual, make a fist. That’s the size of a portion of chicken (it’s probably 2 – 2.5 tenderloin pieces).

What do I eat with the chicken?

Great question. This is just part one of our Batch Cooking series. And having a solid protein source for each meal is the most important part of a healthy nutrition strategy.

So what else goes on the plate?

Let’s chat about some side dish options.

UBER NOOB (ONLY MICROWAVE):

Frozen microwavable veggies. I like broccoli or cauliflower (with “Everything but the Bagel” seasoning on them). Each bag will have instructions on it. All you need to do is pour what you want to grub in a bowl. Microwave for like four to five minutes. Add salt and some type of oil (olive or avocado). Enjoy.

Fresh bags of microwavable veggies. Same idea as the frozen, but less time in microwave (two minutes). Again, read the instructions on the bag!

LEVEL 2 (OVEN): Check out our in-depth article on how to roast vegetables right here:

Brussels sprouts. Chop up your sprouts into quarters. Toss with olive oil, salt and pepper. Throw them on your cookie sheet with foil and parchment paper. Preheat at 400, and let your sprouts cook for 30 minutes. Give it a look halfway through tho.

Roasted broccoli or cauliflower. Again, let’s toss these bad boys in olive oil, salt and pepper. Throw them on your cookie sheet with foil into a preheated oven at 400 degrees. They’ll cook faster than the sprouts, so only cook for 15 minutes.

Asparagus. Cover your asparagus in olive oil, salt and pepper (I sense a theme). Throw them onto your foiled cookie sheet and place them into your preheated 400 degree oven. Let these cook for slightly more than 15 minutes, 18-20.

Don’t like veggies? We can change that.

What about some healthy carb options? Carbs aren’t evil. Just make sure they meet your goals. And your goal should be to eat under your caloric balance for the day if you’re focused on weight loss.

If you have the room in your calorie budget for the day, here are my favorite carbs to put on the plate next to my chicken and veggies:

Trader Joe’s microwave quinoa: Stab holes in the bag, put it in the microwave, and be done.

Sweet potato wedges: Cut up your sweet potato into small bits, then put them on a tray. Add olive oil, salt, and pepper. Heat the tray in your oven at 400 degrees for 45 mins.

Baby potatoes: Cut potatoes in half. Put them on a tray. Add olive oil, salt, and pepper (there’s that theme again), then stick your halved potatoes in the oven.

Spaghetti squash: Mmmmm!

That will cover your protein, a vegetable, and a carb. Simple.

Batch Cooking Tips and Tricks

This is not rocket science. Don’t make this into a bigger deal than it needs to be. You’re cooking some chicken, a potato, and some veggies. It’s easy.

Also, screwing up isn’t the end of the world. You can always order pizza or Chinese food if you totally botch it. Just live life in beta mode: ready, fire, aim. Try it out, and work on getting better.

Portion out your food into separate containers for grab-n-go lunches. This is how Staci, our head female coach, does batch cooking like this each week. Portion your food out into Tupperware to bring with you to work.

When in doubt, more chicken, more veggies, less sweet potato.

Try different spices. We have a whole big resource on how to do spices and flavors to dress up any healthy meal to also taste delicious.

What are your other newbie cooking questions?

I’d love to help more people become NOT afraid of cooking.

If you don’t know your way around your kitchen, has never turned on your oven, and are afraid of screwing up your meals, you’re not alone! That was me too, for a LONG time.

These days however, I can cook 6-10 different great meals. It allows me to reach my health and fitness goals without making me miserable.

YOUR MISSION: Cook this chicken, and post a picture of it in the comments below. Do it in the next week.

Good luck!

-Steve

PS: Just in case:

###

All photo sources can be found right here[1].

Footnotes    ( returns to text)

Photo: The Hunter, Chicken factory, kitchen utensils, brussel sprouts, Noodles, I’m back

https://ift.tt/2DETBGG

#Super Simple Batch Cooked Chicken For Lazy People

[fitnetpro]

Super Simple Batch Cooked Chicken For Lazy People

I’m lazy.

Given the choice between doing something and doing nothing, I’d probably choose nothing.

And yet, every day I have to find a way to feed myself. At the end of a busy day, that usually comes down to the simplest, fastest, laziest option.

Unfortunately, more often than not, that simple/fast/lazy option is also SUPER unhealthy and/or expensive: fast food, take-out, or delivery.

How can “home cooked healthy food” even compete with this convenience?

Great question.

If you’re somebody that’s more familiar with fast food than your oven, and like the IDEA of cooking for yourself but have no clue what you’re doing, fear not!

I’ve created this stupidly simple “Batch Cooked Chicken” video and resource for you.

This article and video assumes you know literally nothing about cooking.

Like, “never opened my oven” level of kitchen knowledge.

I considered calling this article “Batch Cooking for Idiots” but that’s not very nice. And I think you’re pretty smart.

So by the end of today’s article, you’re going to know EXACTLY how to prepare your food for an entire week’s worth of lunch and dinner!

Note: this is a simple chicken option with the laziest ingredients possible. If you know your way around the kitchen, consider checking out some of our more advanced recipes!

Why YOU NEED Batch Cooking in Your Life

Preparing dinner for a single meal takes 20 minutes. Preparing dinner for the week takes 30 minutes and provides you with food allllll week long.

Here’s why batch cooking RULES.

Right now, for each lunch and dinner, we have two choices:

“Should I prepare a healthy meal? Do I have the ingredients? How much time will this take? Ugh.”

“Should I hit a button on my phone or drive up to a window and grab food much faster?”

The unhealthy option is the lazier option, and after a long day of work or with screaming kids, it seems like the ONLY option.

However, if we can make ONE single decision at the start of the week to prepare food in a big batch, it eliminates every food decision we need to make the rest of the week. Not only that, but it makes the fast option the healthy option.

After batch cooking, we instead contemplate our meals like this:

“Should I hit a button on my phone and wait for food? Or should I get in my car and drive to a restaurant? Ugh, too much work.”

“Should I grab the food in the fridge and put it in the microwave for 90 seconds? Done.”

When you can make the lazier option the healthier one, you’re going to win 9 times out of 10.

So, perfect! Batch cooking is the best.

Of course, it’s much easier said than done.

You’re scared. You’ve never opened your oven. You once managed to set water on fire. And you have no clue what you’re doing.

I got you covered. As a batch-cooking convert, I’m gonna walk you through this step by step. I’m going to tell you exactly what to buy. What to set the oven at.

And give you permission to start.

It doesn’t matter if you screw this up. You can always order food if it doesn’t pan out (zing).

Cool? Cool.

Batch Cooking Basics: What You Need to Buy

Today, we’ll be preparing a week’s worth of chicken, Brussels sprouts (or broccoli) and sweet potatoes.

If you don’t like Brussels sprouts or sweet potatoes, I’ll give you an alternative.

WHAT YOU NEED TO BUY:

1 bag of frozen chicken tenderloins

Salt

Pepper

Garlic powder (unless you’re a vampire)

OR “Everything but the Bagel” seasoning (alternative to salt, pepper and garlic)

Olive Oil Spray.

2 cookie sheets

Tinfoil (to line the cookie sheet)

Parchment paper (chicken won’t stick to it, easy clean up)

Tupperware containers – or Pyrex

Pot holders (I use these) 

Depending on how much of a cooking noob you are, you might have some of this stuff already.

If you don’t, make the investment – everything listed above you can use for the next 12.37 years (approximately). You will never regret having these things in your kitchen.

Where I bought my stuff: Trader Joe’s.

Where you can buy your stuff: ANY grocery store.

Note that I didn’t even include things like knives and cutting boards, because you don’t need them to prepare the chicken above.

If you want to build out your kitchen arsenal, check out our Cooking 101 resource for exact things to buy!

How to Batch Cook Chicken

Watch the stupidly simple video I decided to film last night as I was batch cooking a few trays of chicken.

Here are the steps to remind you:

#1) Pre-heat your oven to 350.

#2) Line your cookie sheets with tinfoil and parchment paper.

#3) Grab your bag of chicken, put the chicken on the trays. Wash your hands with soap and water before handling your spices.

#4) Take your olive oil spray, and spray the topside of each chicken.

#5) Sprinkle each side with salt, pepper, and garlic powder (OR “Everything but the Bagel” seasoning).

#6) Flip them over (with tongs or your hands).

#7) Repeat with olive oil, salt, pepper, and garlic powder.

#8) Put them in the oven for 25 minutes.

#9) At 13 minutes, check your chicken to make sure things are going well!

#10) At 25 minutes, take your chicken out of the oven. Cut a piece in half, make sure it is uniformly white throughout. No pink gooey chicken!

Put some on a plate to eat, put the rest in a container for the rest of the week!

A serving size is 4 oz (if you have a cheap scale, it can REALLY help with portion sizes). If you want a visual, make a fist. That’s the size of a portion of chicken (it’s probably 2 – 2.5 tenderloin pieces).

What do I eat with the chicken?

Great question. This is just part one of our Batch Cooking series. And having a solid protein source for each meal is the most important part of a healthy nutrition strategy.

So what else goes on the plate?

Let’s chat about some side dish options.

UBER NOOB (ONLY MICROWAVE):

Frozen microwavable veggies. I like broccoli or cauliflower (with “Everything but the Bagel” seasoning on them). Each bag will have instructions on it. All you need to do is pour what you want to grub in a bowl. Microwave for like four to five minutes. Add salt and some type of oil (olive or avocado). Enjoy.

Fresh bags of microwavable veggies. Same idea as the frozen, but less time in microwave (two minutes). Again, read the instructions on the bag!

LEVEL 2 (OVEN): Check out our in-depth article on how to roast vegetables right here:

Brussels sprouts. Chop up your sprouts into quarters. Toss with olive oil, salt and pepper. Throw them on your cookie sheet with foil and parchment paper. Preheat at 400, and let your sprouts cook for 30 minutes. Give it a look halfway through tho.

Roasted broccoli or cauliflower. Again, let’s toss these bad boys in olive oil, salt and pepper. Throw them on your cookie sheet with foil into a preheated oven at 400 degrees. They’ll cook faster than the sprouts, so only cook for 15 minutes.

Asparagus. Cover your asparagus in olive oil, salt and pepper (I sense a theme). Throw them onto your foiled cookie sheet and place them into your preheated 400 degree oven. Let these cook for slightly more than 15 minutes, 18-20.

Don’t like veggies? We can change that.

What about some healthy carb options? Carbs aren’t evil. Just make sure they meet your goals. And your goal should be to eat under your caloric balance for the day if you’re focused on weight loss.

If you have the room in your calorie budget for the day, here are my favorite carbs to put on the plate next to my chicken and veggies:

Trader Joe’s microwave quinoa: Stab holes in the bag, put it in the microwave, and be done.

Sweet potato wedges: Cut up your sweet potato into small bits, then put them on a tray. Add olive oil, salt, and pepper. Heat the tray in your oven at 400 degrees for 45 mins.

Baby potatoes: Cut potatoes in half. Put them on a tray. Add olive oil, salt, and pepper (there’s that theme again), then stick your halved potatoes in the oven.

Spaghetti squash: Mmmmm!

That will cover your protein, a vegetable, and a carb. Simple.

Batch Cooking Tips and Tricks

This is not rocket science. Don’t make this into a bigger deal than it needs to be. You’re cooking some chicken, a potato, and some veggies. It’s easy.

Also, screwing up isn’t the end of the world. You can always order pizza or Chinese food if you totally botch it. Just live life in beta mode: ready, fire, aim. Try it out, and work on getting better.

Portion out your food into separate containers for grab-n-go lunches. This is how Staci, our head female coach, does batch cooking like this each week. Portion your food out into Tupperware to bring with you to work.

When in doubt, more chicken, more veggies, less sweet potato.

Try different spices. We have a whole big resource on how to do spices and flavors to dress up any healthy meal to also taste delicious.

What are your other newbie cooking questions?

I’d love to help more people become NOT afraid of cooking.

If you don’t know your way around your kitchen, has never turned on your oven, and are afraid of screwing up your meals, you’re not alone! That was me too, for a LONG time.

These days however, I can cook 6-10 different great meals. It allows me to reach my health and fitness goals without making me miserable.

YOUR MISSION: Cook this chicken, and post a picture of it in the comments below. Do it in the next week.

Good luck!

-Steve

PS: Just in case:

  ###

All photo sources can be found right here[1].

Footnotes    ( returns to text)

Photo: The Hunter, Chicken factory, kitchen utensils, brussel sprouts, Noodles, I’m back

Super Simple Batch Cooked Chicken For Lazy People published first on http://fitnetpro.tumblr.com/

[lindafrancois]

Super Simple Batch Cooked Chicken For Lazy People

I’m lazy.

Given the choice between doing something and doing nothing, I’d probably choose nothing.

And yet, every day I have to find a way to feed myself. At the end of a busy day, that usually comes down to the simplest, fastest, laziest option.

Unfortunately, more often than not, that simple/fast/lazy option is also SUPER unhealthy and/or expensive: fast food, take-out, or delivery.

How can “home cooked healthy food” even compete with this convenience?

Great question.

If you’re somebody that’s more familiar with fast food than your oven, and like the IDEA of cooking for yourself but have no clue what you’re doing, fear not!

I’ve created this stupidly simple “Batch Cooked Chicken” video and resource for you.

This article and video assumes you know literally nothing about cooking.

Like, “never opened my oven” level of kitchen knowledge.

I considered calling this article “Batch Cooking for Idiots” but that’s not very nice. And I think you’re pretty smart.

So by the end of today’s article, you’re going to know EXACTLY how to prepare your food for an entire week’s worth of lunch and dinner!

Note: this is a simple chicken option with the laziest ingredients possible. If you know your way around the kitchen, consider checking out some of our more advanced recipes!

Why YOU NEED Batch Cooking in Your Life

Preparing dinner for a single meal takes 20 minutes. Preparing dinner for the week takes 30 minutes and provides you with food allllll week long.

Here’s why batch cooking RULES.

Right now, for each lunch and dinner, we have two choices:

“Should I prepare a healthy meal? Do I have the ingredients? How much time will this take? Ugh.”

“Should I hit a button on my phone or drive up to a window and grab food much faster?”

The unhealthy option is the lazier option, and after a long day of work or with screaming kids, it seems like the ONLY option.

However, if we can make ONE single decision at the start of the week to prepare food in a big batch, it eliminates every food decision we need to make the rest of the week. Not only that, but it makes the fast option the healthy option.

After batch cooking, we instead contemplate our meals like this:

“Should I hit a button on my phone and wait for food? Or should I get in my car and drive to a restaurant? Ugh, too much work.”

“Should I grab the food in the fridge and put it in the microwave for 90 seconds? Done.”

When you can make the lazier option the healthier one, you’re going to win 9 times out of 10.

So, perfect! Batch cooking is the best.

Of course, it’s much easier said than done.

You’re scared. You’ve never opened your oven. You once managed to set water on fire. And you have no clue what you’re doing.

I got you covered. As a batch-cooking convert, I’m gonna walk you through this step by step. I’m going to tell you exactly what to buy. What to set the oven at.

And give you permission to start.

It doesn’t matter if you screw this up. You can always order food if it doesn’t pan out (zing).

Cool? Cool.

Batch Cooking Basics: What You Need to Buy

Today, we’ll be preparing a week’s worth of chicken, Brussels sprouts (or broccoli) and sweet potatoes.

If you don’t like Brussels sprouts or sweet potatoes, I’ll give you an alternative.

WHAT YOU NEED TO BUY:

1 bag of frozen chicken tenderloins

Salt

Pepper

Garlic powder (unless you’re a vampire)

OR “Everything but the Bagel” seasoning (alternative to salt, pepper and garlic)

Olive Oil Spray.

2 cookie sheets

Tinfoil (to line the cookie sheet)

Parchment paper (chicken won’t stick to it, easy clean up)

Tupperware containers – or Pyrex

Pot holders (I use these) 

Depending on how much of a cooking noob you are, you might have some of this stuff already.

If you don’t, make the investment – everything listed above you can use for the next 12.37 years (approximately). You will never regret having these things in your kitchen.

Where I bought my stuff: Trader Joe’s.

Where you can buy your stuff: ANY grocery store.

Note that I didn’t even include things like knives and cutting boards, because you don’t need them to prepare the chicken above.

If you want to build out your kitchen arsenal, check out our Cooking 101 resource for exact things to buy!

How to Batch Cook Chicken

Watch the stupidly simple video I decided to film last night as I was batch cooking a few trays of chicken.

Here are the steps to remind you:

#1) Pre-heat your oven to 350.

#2) Line your cookie sheets with tinfoil and parchment paper.

#3) Grab your bag of chicken, put the chicken on the trays. Wash your hands with soap and water before handling your spices.

#4) Take your olive oil spray, and spray the topside of each chicken.

#5) Sprinkle each side with salt, pepper, and garlic powder (OR “Everything but the Bagel” seasoning).

#6) Flip them over (with tongs or your hands).

#7) Repeat with olive oil, salt, pepper, and garlic powder.

#8) Put them in the oven for 25 minutes.

#9) At 13 minutes, check your chicken to make sure things are going well!

#10) At 25 minutes, take your chicken out of the oven. Cut a piece in half, make sure it is uniformly white throughout. No pink gooey chicken!

Put some on a plate to eat, put the rest in a container for the rest of the week!

A serving size is 4 oz (if you have a cheap scale, it can REALLY help with portion sizes). If you want a visual, make a fist. That’s the size of a portion of chicken (it’s probably 2 – 2.5 tenderloin pieces).

What do I eat with the chicken?

Great question. This is just part one of our Batch Cooking series. And having a solid protein source for each meal is the most important part of a healthy nutrition strategy.

So what else goes on the plate?

Let’s chat about some side dish options.

UBER NOOB (ONLY MICROWAVE):

Frozen microwavable veggies. I like broccoli or cauliflower (with “Everything but the Bagel” seasoning on them). Each bag will have instructions on it. All you need to do is pour what you want to grub in a bowl. Microwave for like four to five minutes. Add salt and some type of oil (olive or avocado). Enjoy.

Fresh bags of microwavable veggies. Same idea as the frozen, but less time in microwave (two minutes). Again, read the instructions on the bag!

LEVEL 2 (OVEN): Check out our in-depth article on how to roast vegetables right here:

Brussels sprouts. Chop up your sprouts into quarters. Toss with olive oil, salt and pepper. Throw them on your cookie sheet with foil and parchment paper. Preheat at 400, and let your sprouts cook for 30 minutes. Give it a look halfway through tho.

Roasted broccoli or cauliflower. Again, let’s toss these bad boys in olive oil, salt and pepper. Throw them on your cookie sheet with foil into a preheated oven at 400 degrees. They’ll cook faster than the sprouts, so only cook for 15 minutes.

Asparagus. Cover your asparagus in olive oil, salt and pepper (I sense a theme). Throw them onto your foiled cookie sheet and place them into your preheated 400 degree oven. Let these cook for slightly more than 15 minutes, 18-20.

Don’t like veggies? We can change that.

What about some healthy carb options? Carbs aren’t evil. Just make sure they meet your goals. And your goal should be to eat under your caloric balance for the day if you’re focused on weight loss.

If you have the room in your calorie budget for the day, here are my favorite carbs to put on the plate next to my chicken and veggies:

Trader Joe’s microwave quinoa: Stab holes in the bag, put it in the microwave, and be done.

Sweet potato wedges: Cut up your sweet potato into small bits, then put them on a tray. Add olive oil, salt, and pepper. Heat the tray in your oven at 400 degrees for 45 mins.

Baby potatoes: Cut potatoes in half. Put them on a tray. Add olive oil, salt, and pepper (there’s that theme again), then stick your halved potatoes in the oven.

Spaghetti squash: Mmmmm!

That will cover your protein, a vegetable, and a carb. Simple.

Batch Cooking Tips and Tricks

This is not rocket science. Don’t make this into a bigger deal than it needs to be. You’re cooking some chicken, a potato, and some veggies. It’s easy.

Also, screwing up isn’t the end of the world. You can always order pizza or Chinese food if you totally botch it. Just live life in beta mode: ready, fire, aim. Try it out, and work on getting better.

Portion out your food into separate containers for grab-n-go lunches. This is how Staci, our head female coach, does batch cooking like this each week. Portion your food out into Tupperware to bring with you to work.

When in doubt, more chicken, more veggies, less sweet potato.

Try different spices. We have a whole big resource on how to do spices and flavors to dress up any healthy meal to also taste delicious.

What are your other newbie cooking questions?

I’d love to help more people become NOT afraid of cooking.

If you don’t know your way around your kitchen, has never turned on your oven, and are afraid of screwing up your meals, you’re not alone! That was me too, for a LONG time.

These days however, I can cook 6-10 different great meals. It allows me to reach my health and fitness goals without making me miserable.

YOUR MISSION: Cook this chicken, and post a picture of it in the comments below. Do it in the next week.

Good luck!

-Steve

PS: Just in case:

  ###

All photo sources can be found right here[1].

Footnotes    ( returns to text)

Photo: The Hunter, Chicken factory, kitchen utensils, brussel sprouts, Noodles, I’m back

Super Simple Batch Cooked Chicken For Lazy People published first on https://dietariouspage.tumblr.com/

[denisalvney]

Super Simple Batch Cooked Chicken For Lazy People

I’m lazy.

Given the choice between doing something and doing nothing, I’d probably choose nothing.

And yet, every day I have to find a way to feed myself. At the end of a busy day, that usually comes down to the simplest, fastest, laziest option.

Unfortunately, more often than not, that simple/fast/lazy option is also SUPER unhealthy and/or expensive: fast food, take-out, or delivery.

How can “home cooked healthy food” even compete with this convenience?

Great question.

If you’re somebody that’s more familiar with fast food than your oven, and like the IDEA of cooking for yourself but have no clue what you’re doing, fear not!

I’ve created this stupidly simple “Batch Cooked Chicken” video and resource for you.

This article and video assumes you know literally nothing about cooking.

Like, “never opened my oven” level of kitchen knowledge.

I considered calling this article “Batch Cooking for Idiots” but that’s not very nice. And I think you’re pretty smart.

So by the end of today’s article, you’re going to know EXACTLY how to prepare your food for an entire week’s worth of lunch and dinner!

Note: this is a simple chicken option with the laziest ingredients possible. If you know your way around the kitchen, consider checking out some of our more advanced recipes!

Why YOU NEED Batch Cooking in Your Life

Preparing dinner for a single meal takes 20 minutes. Preparing dinner for the week takes 30 minutes and provides you with food allllll week long.

Here’s why batch cooking RULES.

Right now, for each lunch and dinner, we have two choices:

“Should I prepare a healthy meal? Do I have the ingredients? How much time will this take? Ugh.”

“Should I hit a button on my phone or drive up to a window and grab food much faster?”

The unhealthy option is the lazier option, and after a long day of work or with screaming kids, it seems like the ONLY option.

However, if we can make ONE single decision at the start of the week to prepare food in a big batch, it eliminates every food decision we need to make the rest of the week. Not only that, but it makes the fast option the healthy option.

After batch cooking, we instead contemplate our meals like this:

“Should I hit a button on my phone and wait for food? Or should I get in my car and drive to a restaurant? Ugh, too much work.”

“Should I grab the food in the fridge and put it in the microwave for 90 seconds? Done.”

When you can make the lazier option the healthier one, you’re going to win 9 times out of 10.

So, perfect! Batch cooking is the best.

Of course, it’s much easier said than done.

You’re scared. You’ve never opened your oven. You once managed to set water on fire. And you have no clue what you’re doing.

I got you covered. As a batch-cooking convert, I’m gonna walk you through this step by step. I’m going to tell you exactly what to buy. What to set the oven at.

And give you permission to start.

It doesn’t matter if you screw this up. You can always order food if it doesn’t pan out (zing).

Cool? Cool.

Batch Cooking Basics: What You Need to Buy

Today, we’ll be preparing a week’s worth of chicken, Brussels sprouts (or broccoli) and sweet potatoes.

If you don’t like Brussels sprouts or sweet potatoes, I’ll give you an alternative.

WHAT YOU NEED TO BUY:

1 bag of frozen chicken tenderloins

Salt

Pepper

Garlic powder (unless you’re a vampire)

OR “Everything but the Bagel” seasoning (alternative to salt, pepper and garlic)

Olive Oil Spray.

2 cookie sheets

Tinfoil (to line the cookie sheet)

Parchment paper (chicken won’t stick to it, easy clean up)

Tupperware containers – or Pyrex

Pot holders (I use these) 

Depending on how much of a cooking noob you are, you might have some of this stuff already.

If you don’t, make the investment – everything listed above you can use for the next 12.37 years (approximately). You will never regret having these things in your kitchen.

Where I bought my stuff: Trader Joe’s.

Where you can buy your stuff: ANY grocery store.

Note that I didn’t even include things like knives and cutting boards, because you don’t need them to prepare the chicken above.

If you want to build out your kitchen arsenal, check out our Cooking 101 resource for exact things to buy!

How to Batch Cook Chicken

Watch the stupidly simple video I decided to film last night as I was batch cooking a few trays of chicken.

Here are the steps to remind you:

#1) Pre-heat your oven to 350.

#2) Line your cookie sheets with tinfoil and parchment paper.

#3) Grab your bag of chicken, put the chicken on the trays. Wash your hands with soap and water before handling your spices.

#4) Take your olive oil spray, and spray the topside of each chicken.

#5) Sprinkle each side with salt, pepper, and garlic powder (OR “Everything but the Bagel” seasoning).

#6) Flip them over (with tongs or your hands).

#7) Repeat with olive oil, salt, pepper, and garlic powder.

#8) Put them in the oven for 25 minutes.

#9) At 13 minutes, check your chicken to make sure things are going well!

#10) At 25 minutes, take your chicken out of the oven. Cut a piece in half, make sure it is uniformly white throughout. No pink gooey chicken!

Put some on a plate to eat, put the rest in a container for the rest of the week!

A serving size is 4 oz (if you have a cheap scale, it can REALLY help with portion sizes). If you want a visual, make a fist. That’s the size of a portion of chicken (it’s probably 2 – 2.5 tenderloin pieces).

What do I eat with the chicken?

Great question. This is just part one of our Batch Cooking series. And having a solid protein source for each meal is the most important part of a healthy nutrition strategy.

So what else goes on the plate?

Let’s chat about some side dish options.

UBER NOOB (ONLY MICROWAVE):

Frozen microwavable veggies. I like broccoli or cauliflower (with “Everything but the Bagel” seasoning on them). Each bag will have instructions on it. All you need to do is pour what you want to grub in a bowl. Microwave for like four to five minutes. Add salt and some type of oil (olive or avocado). Enjoy.

Fresh bags of microwavable veggies. Same idea as the frozen, but less time in microwave (two minutes). Again, read the instructions on the bag!

LEVEL 2 (OVEN): Check out our in-depth article on how to roast vegetables right here:

Brussels sprouts. Chop up your sprouts into quarters. Toss with olive oil, salt and pepper. Throw them on your cookie sheet with foil and parchment paper. Preheat at 400, and let your sprouts cook for 30 minutes. Give it a look halfway through tho.

Roasted broccoli or cauliflower. Again, let’s toss these bad boys in olive oil, salt and pepper. Throw them on your cookie sheet with foil into a preheated oven at 400 degrees. They’ll cook faster than the sprouts, so only cook for 15 minutes.

Asparagus. Cover your asparagus in olive oil, salt and pepper (I sense a theme). Throw them onto your foiled cookie sheet and place them into your preheated 400 degree oven. Let these cook for slightly more than 15 minutes, 18-20.

Don’t like veggies? We can change that.

What about some healthy carb options? Carbs aren’t evil. Just make sure they meet your goals. And your goal should be to eat under your caloric balance for the day if you’re focused on weight loss.

If you have the room in your calorie budget for the day, here are my favorite carbs to put on the plate next to my chicken and veggies:

Trader Joe’s microwave quinoa: Stab holes in the bag, put it in the microwave, and be done.

Sweet potato wedges: Cut up your sweet potato into small bits, then put them on a tray. Add olive oil, salt, and pepper. Heat the tray in your oven at 400 degrees for 45 mins.

Baby potatoes: Cut potatoes in half. Put them on a tray. Add olive oil, salt, and pepper (there’s that theme again), then stick your halved potatoes in the oven.

Spaghetti squash: Mmmmm!

That will cover your protein, a vegetable, and a carb. Simple.

Batch Cooking Tips and Tricks

This is not rocket science. Don’t make this into a bigger deal than it needs to be. You’re cooking some chicken, a potato, and some veggies. It’s easy.

Also, screwing up isn’t the end of the world. You can always order pizza or Chinese food if you totally botch it. Just live life in beta mode: ready, fire, aim. Try it out, and work on getting better.

Portion out your food into separate containers for grab-n-go lunches. This is how Staci, our head female coach, does batch cooking like this each week. Portion your food out into Tupperware to bring with you to work.

When in doubt, more chicken, more veggies, less sweet potato.

Try different spices. We have a whole big resource on how to do spices and flavors to dress up any healthy meal to also taste delicious.

What are your other newbie cooking questions?

I’d love to help more people become NOT afraid of cooking.

If you don’t know your way around your kitchen, has never turned on your oven, and are afraid of screwing up your meals, you’re not alone! That was me too, for a LONG time.

These days however, I can cook 6-10 different great meals. It allows me to reach my health and fitness goals without making me miserable.

YOUR MISSION: Cook this chicken, and post a picture of it in the comments below. Do it in the next week.

Good luck!

-Steve

PS: Just in case:

  ###

All photo sources can be found right here[1].

Footnotes    ( returns to text)

Photo: The Hunter, Chicken factory, kitchen utensils, brussel sprouts, Noodles, I’m back

Super Simple Batch Cooked Chicken For Lazy People published first on https://www.nerdfitness.com

[lindafrancois]

Super Simple Batch Cooked Chicken For Lazy People

I’m lazy.

Given the choice between doing something and doing nothing, I’d probably choose nothing.

And yet, every day I have to find a way to feed myself. At the end of a busy day, that usually comes down to the simplest, fastest, laziest option.

Unfortunately, more often than not, that simple/fast/lazy option is also SUPER unhealthy and/or expensive: fast food, take-out, or delivery.

How can “home cooked healthy food” even compete with this convenience?

Great question.

If you’re somebody that’s more familiar with fast food than your oven, and like the IDEA of cooking for yourself but have no clue what you’re doing, fear not!

I’ve created this stupidly simple “Batch Cooked Chicken” video and resource for you.

This article and video assumes you know literally nothing about cooking.

Like, “never opened my oven” level of kitchen knowledge.

I considered calling this article “Batch Cooking for Idiots” but that’s not very nice. And I think you’re pretty smart.

So by the end of today’s article, you’re going to know EXACTLY how to prepare your food for an entire week’s worth of lunch and dinner!

Note: this is a simple chicken option with the laziest ingredients possible. If you know your way around the kitchen, consider checking out some of our more advanced recipes!

Why YOU NEED Batch Cooking in Your Life

Preparing dinner for a single meal takes 20 minutes. Preparing dinner for the week takes 30 minutes and provides you with food allllll week long.

Here’s why batch cooking RULES.

Right now, for each lunch and dinner, we have two choices:

“Should I prepare a healthy meal? Do I have the ingredients? How much time will this take? Ugh.”

“Should I hit a button on my phone or drive up to a window and grab food much faster?”

The unhealthy option is the lazier option, and after a long day of work or with screaming kids, it seems like the ONLY option.

However, if we can make ONE single decision at the start of the week to prepare food in a big batch, it eliminates every food decision we need to make the rest of the week. Not only that, but it makes the fast option the healthy option.

After batch cooking, we instead contemplate our meals like this:

“Should I hit a button on my phone and wait for food? Or should I get in my car and drive to a restaurant? Ugh, too much work.”

“Should I grab the food in the fridge and put it in the microwave for 90 seconds? Done.”

When you can make the lazier option the healthier one, you’re going to win 9 times out of 10.

So, perfect! Batch cooking is the best.

Of course, it’s much easier said than done.

You’re scared. You’ve never opened your oven. You once managed to set water on fire. And you have no clue what you’re doing.

I got you covered. As a batch-cooking convert, I’m gonna walk you through this step by step. I’m going to tell you exactly what to buy. What to set the oven at.

And give you permission to start.

It doesn’t matter if you screw this up. You can always order food if it doesn’t pan out (zing).

Cool? Cool.

Batch Cooking Basics: What You Need to Buy

Today, we’ll be preparing a week’s worth of chicken, Brussels sprouts (or broccoli) and sweet potatoes.

If you don’t like Brussels sprouts or sweet potatoes, I’ll give you an alternative.

WHAT YOU NEED TO BUY:

1 bag of frozen chicken tenderloins

Salt

Pepper

Garlic powder (unless you’re a vampire)

OR “Everything but the Bagel” seasoning (alternative to salt, pepper and garlic)

Olive Oil Spray.

2 cookie sheets

Tinfoil (to line the cookie sheet)

Parchment paper (chicken won’t stick to it, easy clean up)

Tupperware containers – or Pyrex

Pot holders (I use these) 

Depending on how much of a cooking noob you are, you might have some of this stuff already.

If you don’t, make the investment – everything listed above you can use for the next 12.37 years (approximately). You will never regret having these things in your kitchen.

Where I bought my stuff: Trader Joe’s.

Where you can buy your stuff: ANY grocery store.

Note that I didn’t even include things like knives and cutting boards, because you don’t need them to prepare the chicken above.

If you want to build out your kitchen arsenal, check out our Cooking 101 resource for exact things to buy!

How to Batch Cook Chicken

Watch the stupidly simple video I decided to film last night as I was batch cooking a few trays of chicken.

Here are the steps to remind you:

#1) Pre-heat your oven to 350.

#2) Line your cookie sheets with tinfoil and parchment paper.

#3) Grab your bag of chicken, put the chicken on the trays. Wash your hands with soap and water before handling your spices.

#4) Take your olive oil spray, and spray the topside of each chicken.

#5) Sprinkle each side with salt, pepper, and garlic powder (OR “Everything but the Bagel” seasoning).

#6) Flip them over (with tongs or your hands).

#7) Repeat with olive oil, salt, pepper, and garlic powder.

#8) Put them in the oven for 25 minutes.

#9) At 13 minutes, check your chicken to make sure things are going well!

#10) At 25 minutes, take your chicken out of the oven. Cut a piece in half, make sure it is uniformly white throughout. No pink gooey chicken!

Put some on a plate to eat, put the rest in a container for the rest of the week!

A serving size is 4 oz (if you have a cheap scale, it can REALLY help with portion sizes). If you want a visual, make a fist. That’s the size of a portion of chicken (it’s probably 2 – 2.5 tenderloin pieces).

What do I eat with the chicken?

Great question. This is just part one of our Batch Cooking series. And having a solid protein source for each meal is the most important part of a healthy nutrition strategy.

So what else goes on the plate?

Let’s chat about some side dish options.

UBER NOOB (ONLY MICROWAVE):

Frozen microwavable veggies. I like broccoli or cauliflower (with “Everything but the Bagel” seasoning on them). Each bag will have instructions on it. All you need to do is pour what you want to grub in a bowl. Microwave for like four to five minutes. Add salt and some type of oil (olive or avocado). Enjoy.

Fresh bags of microwavable veggies. Same idea as the frozen, but less time in microwave (two minutes). Again, read the instructions on the bag!

LEVEL 2 (OVEN): Check out our in-depth article on how to roast vegetables right here:

Brussels sprouts. Chop up your sprouts into quarters. Toss with olive oil, salt and pepper. Throw them on your cookie sheet with foil and parchment paper. Preheat at 400, and let your sprouts cook for 30 minutes. Give it a look halfway through tho.

Roasted broccoli or cauliflower. Again, let’s toss these bad boys in olive oil, salt and pepper. Throw them on your cookie sheet with foil into a preheated oven at 400 degrees. They’ll cook faster than the sprouts, so only cook for 15 minutes.

Asparagus. Cover your asparagus in olive oil, salt and pepper (I sense a theme). Throw them onto your foiled cookie sheet and place them into your preheated 400 degree oven. Let these cook for slightly more than 15 minutes, 18-20.

Don’t like veggies? We can change that.

What about some healthy carb options? Carbs aren’t evil. Just make sure they meet your goals. And your goal should be to eat under your caloric balance for the day if you’re focused on weight loss.

If you have the room in your calorie budget for the day, here are my favorite carbs to put on the plate next to my chicken and veggies:

Trader Joe’s microwave quinoa: Stab holes in the bag, put it in the microwave, and be done.

Sweet potato wedges: Cut up your sweet potato into small bits, then put them on a tray. Add olive oil, salt, and pepper. Heat the tray in your oven at 400 degrees for 45 mins.

Baby potatoes: Cut potatoes in half. Put them on a tray. Add olive oil, salt, and pepper (there’s that theme again), then stick your halved potatoes in the oven.

Spaghetti squash: Mmmmm!

That will cover your protein, a vegetable, and a carb. Simple.

Batch Cooking Tips and Tricks

This is not rocket science. Don’t make this into a bigger deal than it needs to be. You’re cooking some chicken, a potato, and some veggies. It’s easy.

Also, screwing up isn’t the end of the world. You can always order pizza or Chinese food if you totally botch it. Just live life in beta mode: ready, fire, aim. Try it out, and work on getting better.

Portion out your food into separate containers for grab-n-go lunches. This is how Staci, our head female coach, does batch cooking like this each week. Portion your food out into Tupperware to bring with you to work.

When in doubt, more chicken, more veggies, less sweet potato.

Try different spices. We have a whole big resource on how to do spices and flavors to dress up any healthy meal to also taste delicious.

What are your other newbie cooking questions?

I’d love to help more people become NOT afraid of cooking.

If you don’t know your way around your kitchen, has never turned on your oven, and are afraid of screwing up your meals, you’re not alone! That was me too, for a LONG time.

These days however, I can cook 6-10 different great meals. It allows me to reach my health and fitness goals without making me miserable.

YOUR MISSION: Cook this chicken, and post a picture of it in the comments below. Do it in the next week.

Good luck!

-Steve

PS: Just in case:

  ###

All photo sources can be found right here[1].

Footnotes    ( returns to text)

Photo: The Hunter, Chicken factory, kitchen utensils, brussel sprouts, Noodles, I’m back

Super Simple Batch Cooked Chicken For Lazy People published first on https://dietariouspage.tumblr.com/